Excerpt: The Gnostic Gospel of St.

Thomas: Meditations on the

Mystical Teachings
Verse 1
_
These are the secret sayings which the living Jesus spoke and
which Didymos Judas Thomas wrote down.
And he said, "hoever !inds the interpretation o! these
sayings will not e"perience death."
The #iving $eshua is speaking in secret, within, %ehind
your heart. &hrist dwells there within you, and when
you go within, &hrist will speak the secret teachings to you
and lead you in the path o! awakening. To listen and hear,
you must %e silent. $ou must empty yoursel! o! yoursel! and
let the &hrist'(pirit !ill you. Dying to yoursel!, you must %e
conceived and re%orn o! the )oly (pirit as the #iving $eshua.
*ndeed, you must e"perience the same conception, gestation,
and %irth as the #iving $eshua so that you also might %e his
twin, %orn o! the same %irth !rom the )oly Virgin, +other
isdom. ,nly in this way can you receive the #ight'transmission
!rom the +aster and %ecome a -nostic yoursel!.
.veryone is the #iving $eshua. The ordinary person is ignorant
o! this, %ut the apostle o! -od knows it and lives according
to the Truth and #ight revealed through e"perience.
#ikewise, the kingdom o! heaven is here and now, within you
and all around you. *t is present within everyone. The ordinary
person does not have eyes to see it, %ut the -nostic perceives
it and so dwells in the kingdom o! -od here and now.
#ogos /ord0 and (ophia /isdom0 are to %e !ound within
everyone and everything, and so also within you. There, within your
secret center, at the core o! your %eing, is the )oly ,ne o! 1eing.
The &hrist'sel! is your true sel!, the sel! o! every sel! and soul o! every
soul. All are united with him in the (acred 2nity that is -od, the 3ather'
+other. Through him, the )oly (pirit indwells the whole o!
&reation. 4nowing this, you will not e"perience death.
This is the truth that is contained in these sayings or verses, the essential
reality o! which they speak. The secret is openly spoken, %ut
who can listen and hear and so receive it5 ritten or spoken, the secret
remains a secret until it is part o! your own e"perience. The
teachings are received only when they are your own e"perience.
Then they %ecome a living initiation'a #ight'transmission. This is
the aim o! the mystic, that he or she should directly e"perience the
#iving $eshua and %ecome as the risen &hrist.
hat will death mean to that one who e"periences +essianic consciousness
and dwells in the kingdom o! -od while in this li!e5 *ndeed,
death will not mean what it means to the ordinary person, !or that one
is not so sel!'identi!ied with mortal name and !orm, %ut knows onesel!
as an immortal (pirit, a %ornless and there!ore deathless (pirit. #ikewise,
this person knows that the kingdom o! heaven is present within
and all around, always'that upon death one6s e"perience o! &hrist
will continue in a more su%tle and su%lime !orm, having shed the physical
%ody. ith this knowledge, death is no longer death and the adversary
has no power over the soul, whether in this world or in the
world to come. (uch a person is awakened and there!ore !ree, having a
continuity o! awareness throughout all states o! e"istence. Death will
come, as it has !or all prophets and saints, %ut it will 7ust %e an appearance
o! departure'a transition to another mode o! e"istence, no more
or less real than !alling asleep, only to dream and awaken again. Death,
!or the -nostic, is not an end as much as a new %eginning. 2ltimately,
death has no su%stantial reality, %ut is merely a natural moment o! transition.
4nowing this changes everything. +editate upon it and you
will see8
-race accomplishes this awakening and the trans!ormation that
!ollows it. 9othing one does accomplishes this sel!'reali:ation. $et
spiritual practice and spiritual living are the conditions that allow
-race to act, without which it is unlikely that the )oly (pirit can
work within and through onesel! to accomplish the great work. +ore
pro!oundly, spiritual practice and spiritual living are, themselves, the
goal or attainment sought; so that in practicing and living according
to the Truth and #ight, one naturally awakens and receives the #ight'transmission.
*t is not so much a matter o! receiving something that
one does not already have as much as it is creating the conditions
necessary !or the ord /#ogos0 and isdom /(ophia0 to pour !orth
!rom within onesel!. )ence, it is letting the &hrist'sel! that is already
present deep within come !orward and live this li!e. (piritual practice
and spiritual living do 7ust that. <ractice living as &hrist and you will
see8
Verse =
_
Jesus said, "#et him who seeks continue seeking until he !inds.
hen he !inds he will %ecome trou%led. hen he %ecomes
trou%led, he will %e astonished, and he will rule over the all."
$ou must seek in order to discover the (pirit and Truth
and must continue seeking until you reali:e the (pirit indwelling
you and know the Truth in your own e"perience. *t
is not enough that another person has discovered the Truth.
.ach individual must seek and strive to discover it and so engage
in the Divine la%or o! salvation o! one6s soul, that is to
say, the awakening and li%eration o! one6s soul in conscious
union with -od.
This seeking is the sacred >uest !or the )oly -rail, which
is not a physical relic or holy cup outside o! onesel!.
?ather, the )oly -rail is a puri!ied and consecrated heart,
soul, mind, and li!e; it is onesel! open and sensitive to the
&hrist'(pirit so that one lives the li!e o! &hrist. The -rail is
the heart in which the #ord dwells, the person who has discovered
an innate (pirit'connection and who lives within. *t
is the &hrist'sel!, the #ogos and (ophia o! -od, the inner or
higher sel! that is one6s secret center and holy root.
9ow these are 7ust words, concepts in the mind. The nature
o! this sacred >uest is such that you may have a word,
name, or concept o! what it is you are looking !or, some idea
o! what it is, how and where it may %e !ound. $et, in !act, you
do not know what it is you are looking !or, how, where, or when it
may %e !ound. hatever idea you may have o! it is more likely a hindrance
or o%struction to !inding what you seek, misleading rather
than help!ul.
hen seeking is %ased upon preconception, precondition, and e"pectations,
upon who and what you think you are and who and what
you %elieve reality or -od to %e, then seeking itsel! %ecomes an o%struction
and what is sought cannot %e discovered. *! you go looking
!or something that does not e"ist or go seeking in a way or in a place
it cannot %e !ound, then, indeed, you will not !ind it.
At the outset, you must understand that the very nature o! -od is
di!!erent than anything you might conceive and that you yoursel! are
not who or what you might think you are. hatever your preconceptions,
preconditions, or e"pectations, the reality'truth'continuum is
yet more and cannot %e contained or comprehended %y the linear
reasoning mind or dualistic consciousness. -od will !orever %e a mystery,
the nameless and unknown. -od is completely other than what
we might think. Discovering this is a trou%ling thing, shaking one to
the core8
To draw near to the #ord is a deeply trou%ling thing, !or * must %ecome
no'thing, empty o! mysel!, that the #ord might enter and the
)oly (pirit !ill me. -od is 9o'thing /Ain0 and * must %ecome nothing
to enter into union with the )oly ,ne o! 1eing
*! you think you are something, i! you think you are a su%stantial
and independent sel!'e"istence, a solid or !i"ed entity, it is greatly
trou%ling to discover that your secret center is no'thing, that you are
empty o! any su%stantial or independent sel!'e"istence. Discovering
this, however, you then reali:e that this is the very nature o! everything
in e"istence. $ou discover that everything is impermanent, that
everything changes. ?eality is empty o! any su%stantial and independent
sel!'e"istence. There is only the )oly ,ne o! 1eing, the ,ne'
ithout'.nd /Ain (o!0. $et in this gnosis, the prophet or apostle o!
-od attains dominion over the all, !or everything is the magic'display
o! the Divine mind, the mind o! &hrist.
There is another sort o! trou%ling that may come with the dawn o!
higher awareness and drawing near to the #ord. *n the (acred 2nity
that -od is, you encounter a%solute and ultimate per!ection, the primordial
emptiness that is at one and the same time Divine !ullness.
1e!ore the per!ection o! the #ord, your own imper!ection is glaring
and stark in contrast, a pro!oundly trou%ling thing to discover and,
indeed, pain!ul. Drawing nearer to the #ord, you discover how very
!ar away !rom -od you are. This is the cause o! the dark night o! the
soul o! which the mystics speak in their 7ourney.
Anyone who seeks must %e willing to endure the trou%le that
comes with !inding, willing to endure the dark nights o! the soul and
the ordeals o! initiation. A mystical death precedes a resurrection; a
descent into the depths precedes every ascension. The #iving $eshua
has opened the way %e!ore us and revealed the path to us. e also
must die and %e re%orn, descend into the depths and ascend; we must
%e willing to take up our cross daily and !ollow the &hrist'sel! within
us. ,nly in this way is salvation attained.
This is not something new. #i!e teaches this very lesson. 1irth itsel!
is a trou%ling and pain!ul thing, yet the great 7oy o! li!e comes !rom it.
(o it is with everything in this li!e. The pain is part o! the pleasure,
the sorrow part o! the 7oy. Dying is part o! living. $ou cannot have
one without the other. .verything is interconnected and interdependent;
it is the nature o! things ever'%ecoming. $ou must learn to accept
and em%race the whole o! li!e and the whole o! yoursel! i! you would
discover the (pirit and Truth. The #ight and the Darkness must %e
7oined and you must reali:e the (acred 2nity.
9ow * tell you this, when you seek, what you !ind will %e distur%ing,
!or you will discover that all the ways o! mortals and their pomp
is vain and !utile, mere vanity under the sun. Virtually everything unenlightened
human society values so dearly is ultimately meaningless,
and what we ourselves value and %elieve so important is not important
at all. *t is all ar%itrary. .verything is dust in the wind with the
passage o! time. *n the hour o! reckoning, the moment o! death, what
will it all mean5 The world will %e nothing and you will %e nothing. *!
you do not know the &hrist'sel! as your very own sel! in that hour,
where will you %e5 hat will %ecome o! you5
* will tell you plainly, the outer person * am is nothing. This name
and !orm is a transitional state that in and o! itsel! means nothing.
(ave that * know the inner person, the soul'%eing and &hrist'sel!
within, this outer person and li!e are %ut vanity under the sun. To
love, to gain knowledge, to upli!t humanity -odward, is the purpose
and meaning o! this li!e. This name and !orm have meaning to the e"tent
that +essianic consciousness is em%odied. That is why the soul
enters into this li!e, so that the %eing o! the %ecoming that is within
you might incarnate and the world to come might mani!est. *! you accomplish
something o! this great work, then all that you do in this li!e
will %e !illed with meaning. $et i! you accomplish many things and,
%y the 7udgment o! mortals, are considered great in this world, %ut
you do not accomplish anything o! this great work, all that you might
do will %e meaningless, pure vanity. *t is a simple truth.
"Ask, and it will %e given to you; search, and you will !ind; knock,
and the door will %e opened !or you. .veryone who asks receives, and
everyone who searches !inds, and !or everyone who knocks, the door
will %e opened" /+atthew @A@'B0.
Asking is receiving, seeking is !inding, knocking is the opening o!
the door that you might enter. *t is not you who is asking or seeking or
knocking %ut the &hrist'(pirit in you, and it is -race that answers,
-race that !inds, the )oly (pirit that knocks and enters and accomplishes
everything. There!ore, this promise is certain'the one anointed
in the (upernal #ight attains dominion over the all. ,! mysel!, * can
accomplish nothing; &hrist in me accomplishes everything. This is an
astonishing discovery and it comes with holy awe and wonder8
"#isten8 * am standing at the door, knocking; i! you hear my voice
and open the door, * will come in to you and eat with you, and you
with me. To anyone who con>uers * will give a place with me on my
throne, 7ust as * have con>uered and sat down with my 3ather on his
throne" /?evelations CA=D'=10.
Verse C
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Jesus said, "*! those who lead you say to you, 6(ee, the kingdom
is in the sky,6 then the %irds o! the air will precede you. *!
they say to you, 6*t is in the sea,6 then the !ish will precede
you. ?ather, the kingdom is inside o! you, and it is outside o!
you. hen you come to know yourselves, then you will %ecome
known, and you will reali:e that it is you who are the
sons o! the living !ather. 1ut i! you will not know yourselves,
you dwell in poverty and it is you who are that poverty."
+alkut, the kingdom o! heaven, is within you and all
around you'yet, i! you do not know that the kingdom
is within you, then you will not see the kingdom outside
o! you. (uch is the nature o! reality, this magical display o!
consciousness. The inside and the outside are not separate
%ut are intimately connected. The reality o! your e"perience
is the magical display o! your own consciousness. A change
in consciousness %rings a%out a corresponding change in the
reality you encounter. A change in the reality you encounter
is an e"pression o! a change in consciousness.
*n the world and waking consciousness there are many cocreators
o! the magical display. There is the individual and the
collective creation o! this magical display'and the individual,
the collective, and the universal consciousness are completely
interconnected and interdependent. $ou alone are not the creator
o! the reality you e"perience. .very living %eing is a
uni>ue individual e"pression o! the #i!e'power, the )oly ,ne
o! 1eing, and a co'creator with -od o! the reality you e"perience.
9evertheless, when there is a trans!ormation in your own consciousness,
there is a proportional and corresponding trans!ormation in the
world, in the reality o! your e"perience. *n trans!orming yoursel!, you
trans!orm the world in which you e"ist. Do you want to change the
world5 $ou are the world and the world is you. *! you want to change
the world, make a change in your own consciousness.
hether heaven or hell or a world o! admi"ture, it is all a state o!
mind, a condition o! consciousness'%eing. The kingdom o! heaven is
not a place, %ut a spaciousness in consciousness, 7ust as hell is a severe
con!inement and limitation upon consciousness. There are worlds
within worlds and worlds %eyond, heavens and hells and spaces in %etween.
All are an e"pression o! consciousness'%eing, which is the radiant
nature o! consciousness, and all e"ist within consciousness.
There are higher, holier worlds than this one. 9o one can know
how many there are. 9or can anyone %e certain that any given world
or level o! consciousness is the same !or di!!erent persons. )eaven
could well %e a dread and terri%le thing !or the wicked person, and !or
a saint, "hell" could %e the most intense 7oy. hat is known is that,
most o! the time, people are too %usy here in this world to notice
what is transpiring within it and %eyond it, too lost in distraction to
know themselves and so reali:e the wealth o! higher and holier
worlds that occupy the same space. +ost ordinary individuals do not
know the creative power that is in them and do not know that they
are the world and the world is them. *n ignorance, they remain %ound
to lesser gods and shadow lands, and do not know the world o! (upernal
#ight within and all around them.
(o many souls are asleep and dreaming strange and !it!ul dreams.
They are asleep and do not know that they are dreaming and so cannot
awaken in the dream to trans!orm it. To the awakened ones, the
holy ones, it is a sad and sorry sight. *t is a vision o! sorrow to %ehold
the nightmares created %y sel!'grasping, desire, and !ear, and all o! the
su!!ering that naturally !ollows. The awakened ones know the world
o! (upernal #ight here and now, yet they also know how very real the
su!!ering is o! those who remain ignorant and asleep. *t is not an issue
o! personal salvation. 9o one is per!ectly !ree until everyone is !ree.
"The !irst shall %e last and the last shall %e !irst" /+ark 1DAC10. 2ntil
the last "wicked" person repents and seeks righteousness, the great
trans!ormation o! the (econd &oming shall not %e complete.
The !orce that %inds is the !orce that will set everyone !ree. *t is the
same consciousness'!orce that mani!ests as the adversary or the +essiah,
as heaven or hell. .nlightenment or unenlightenment are e"pressions
o! the very same consciousness'!orce, the one #i!e'power.
There is one Divine mind, %ut two paths. This world stands on the
threshold in %etween. *t could go either way at any moment'toward
heaven or toward hell'yet salvation is always at hand, the (econd
&oming ever near, as near as your %reath and the %eat o! your heart,
as close as the very nature o! your consciousness'%eing8
9ow listen and hear the ord o! the #ord. $ou are !ree to choose8
*t could %e heaven or it could %e hell, %ut everyone must choose.
ithin you are the powers o! salvation and damnation, the #ight and
the Darkness. hen you are at last transparent, there will only %e the
#ight and #i!e. That is the certainty o! salvation in our #ord. $et the
su!!ering o! damnation is all too real until salvation is attained. $ou
must choose each moment. $ou must know the creative power that is
in you and live in remem%rance o! the (pirit and Truth.
hat is to %e attained5 4nowing and e"periencing yoursel! as part
o! the (acred 2nity that is -od, here and now. $ou have always %een
part o! that (acred 2nity, are and always will %e part o! that (acred
2nity, the )oly ,ne o! 1eing. 9ever have you %een separate !rom the
)oly ,ne. 2nion with -od is not really an attainment; it is a present
reality and truth. $ou need only remem%er the (pirit and Truth. $ou
need only awaken and live with this awareness. *t is not something you
lack, %ut who and what you most truly are, the son or daughter o! the
#iving -od'the child o! the #ight, the #ight o! awareness itsel!.
ho are lost that they should %e !ound5 * tell you, none are lost
that they should %e !ound. The one who is lost has never e"isted, and
the one to %e !ound was never %orn. $ou are what you are seeking,
the %ornless (pirit.
This is the good news8 +alkut, the kingdom, is within you and all
around you. .ternal li!e is the Truth o! your inmost %eing. Death has
never e"isted. $ou are !ree8
Verse E
_
Jesus said, "The man old in days will not hesitate to ask a
small child o! seven days old a%out the place o! li!e, and he
will live. 3or many who are !irst will %ecome last, and they
will %ecome one and the same."
An in!ant is not involved in, nor attached to the world. A
%a%e o! seven days old is not in %ondage to name, !orm,
and limited sel!'identity. (uch a soul is undistracted and
moves !reely %etween worlds, neither %ound to one nor !orgetting
the other, %ut naturally near to the source o! li!e and
light. *! the small child o! seven days old, as yet uncorrupted
%y the mind o! the world, could speak, surely wisdom would
pour !orth, a wisdom people o! the world would undou%tedly
call !olly or cra:y. $et such wisdom would come directly !rom
the inmost part o! the soul and -od itsel!.
9ow, indeed, the suggestion that an old man should in>uire
o! an in!ant a%out the place o! li!e is an impossi%le and
cra:y thing. .veryone knows an in!ant cannot speak and most
would say an in!ant knows nothing. $et the knowledge that
the %a%y cannot speak and cannot hold in conscious awareness
is a knowledge that is deep inside you. *t is a gnosis in the
inmost part o! the soul that you can touch upon when, at last,
you a%ide open and sensitive, completely undistracted.
#isten and hear. The holy child, the %a%y +essiah, is within
you. There, in your inmost part, is the (piritual (un, the
holy child. *! you !ollow the star o! -race, the sense o! the mystery in
you, and you listen and hear, the holy child will speak to you and
teach you a%out +other isdom.
hat the old man would seek to hear !rom the small child o! seven
days old is within himsel!. )e has !orgotten the wisdom o! his soul,
having %ecome involved and attached to the world, his name and
!orm, his sel!'identity, and his am%itions. )e has !orgotten why he
has come into the world, the purpose and mission o! his soul, and %ecoming
distracted, he is lost to himsel!.
(o it is with every ordinary person in the world into"icated and
distracted %y sel!'grasping, desire, and !ear, completely in %ondage to
a limited and mortal sel!'identity, and so remaining under the power
o! death. $et, i! one can let go and let %e and go within, one will remem%er
what has %een !orgotten and so set onesel! !ree. This is true
!or anyone. *t is true !or you as well.
9ow, there is also a secret meaning hidden in this saying. hen it
is said that the old man will ask a small child o! "seven days old," the
seven days are the days o! &reation, the seventh day %eing the holy
(a%%ath, the day o! repose. $es, indeed, the holy child, the (pirit o!
the +essiah that is within you, is #ord o! the (a%%ath. The seventh
day o! &reation is the eternal (a%%ath, o! which every (a%%ath occurring
in space'time'consciousness is a gate.
(o, here, the +aster is speaking o! entering into repose and seeking
the isdom o! the Divine presence and power that enters the
holy a%ode on the (a%%ath. $et one must understand that the meaning
o! the holy (a%%ath is more than it appears to %e. *t is not merely
one day in the week. ?ather, it is living !rom within in such a way that
you are no longer the doer in li!e. The (pirit o! the +essiah is the
doer and the holy (hekinah is your !aith!ul companion and guide.
The eternal (a%%ath has neither %eginning nor end, nor does the Divine
presence and power distinguish %etween days o! the week. At
any moment, whenever you remem%er the #ord, in that instant the
)oly (pirit moves within you and through you and upli!ts you into
+alkut, the seventh holy (ephirah. Any time you enter into repose,
the holy (a%%ath dawns !or you and the holy (hekinah comes to rest
upon you.
The commandment o! the (a%%ath e"ists to remind you. *t is given
as a gi!t, so that perhaps at least one day in the week you might let go
o! involvement in the world and the natural distractions o! such involvement
and go within, seeking repose and communion in -od.
Then, perhaps, i! you remem%er yoursel! as part o! the (acred 2nity
that -od is, you might live according to that awareness. 3or the inmost
part o! the soul, the )oly (a%%ath is every day; !or the outer
person, it is once a week. (uch is the di!!erence %etween timeless eternity
and time eternity. *n time, there are %eginnings and endings, the
!irst and the last, %ut in eternity, there is no such distinction. All is the
same. hen you reali:e yoursel! in (acred 2nity, when you awaken
the &hrist'(pirit in you, you will know yoursel! one with all and the
same in essence. *n that instant, you will e"perience eternal li!e.
9ow * will share a !urther secret with you. .verything that has
happened, is happening, or ever will happen, transpires on the seventh
day o! &reation, the eternal (a%%ath. The knowledge is within
you, the knowledge o! your divine destiny and the destiny o! all &reation.
*t is the vision o! &reation !rom one end to the other, the
awareness o! a %eginningless and endless reality'truth'continuum. *t is
the gnosis o! Adam 4admon, the primordial human %eing. This !orms
the %asis o! a worthy meditation.