SFX Ultimate Guide To Fantasy (Game of Thrones Special) - PDF (E-MAG) PDF

THE SCIENCE
OF FANTASY
BY RADIO 4S
HELEN KEEN
YOUR 164-PAGE GUIDE TO THE VERY BEST IN EPIC FANTASY!
ALSO INSIDE! ELFQUEST JOE ABERCROMBIE CONAN NARNIA LOADS MORE!
Everything you need to know
MASSIVE SEASON 4 PREVIEW!
G
REATEST
DRAGONS!
2
5
STEPHEN KING LORD OF THE RINGS WRITING SANDMAN
ULTIMATE CELEBRATION
THE
10
EXCLUSIVE CAST
INTERVIEW
S!
PLUS!
4

SFX

ULTIMATE FANTASY GUIDE Subscribe at www.sfx.co.uk/subscriptions

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ENJOY EPIC
FANTASY?
Then youre going to love this SFX Special
Edition. To kick off we have over 70 pages
of Game Of Thrones articles, including 10
all-new exclusive cast interviews. Were
also very excited to have Radio 4s Helen
Keen (It Is Rocket Science) telling us all
about the science of Westeros, plus an
in-depth look at Peter Jacksons Lord Of
The Rings trilogy which we predict will
inspire a few marathon rewatches of the
films. So what are you waiting for? Begin
your quest through this magazine now!
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EDITORIAL CONTRIBUTORS
Tara Bennett, James Clarke, Bill Edwards,
Jordan Farley, Stephen Jewell, Helen Keen,
Stephen Kelly, Joseph McCabe, Jayne Nelson,
Rob Power, Bridie Roman, Will Salmon
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25 THINGS
YOU NEED TO
KNOW ABOUT
SEASON 4
152 110
102
86 The Lord Of The Rings
In-Depth: The Fellowship
Of The Ring
A fact-packed, minute-by-minute
look back at the rst of Peter
Jacksons trilogy.
In-Depth: The Two Towers
Honestly, once youve read these
articles you wont watch the
movies in the same way again.
In-Depth: The Return Of
The King
The one you thought would never
end. How many fades to black did
it feel like it had?
110 Top 25 Dragons
From the one skewered by St
George to the one that tried to
spit-roast some dwarves.
120 Conan Comics
Two extracts from Dark Horses
lavishly illustrated comics
featuring the most famous ctional
barbarian of them all.
134 Interview: Joe
Abercrombie
On his upcoming young adult
novel Half A King.
140 Creating The Sandman
We join Neil Gaiman in a look
back at the comics origins.
144 Stephen Kings
The Dark Tower
We examine the Master of
Horrors epic fantasy series.
148 Elfquest
The fantasy comic thats been
going since the 70s, and always
written and drawn by the same
husband-and-wife team.
152 Fantasy Lands
Which fantasy land would be
the best holiday destination,
or even a place to emigrate to?
158 Legend
Ridley Scotts elegant
fantasy from the 80s.
162 The Quest Quiz
Will you be a hero?
CONTENTS
12 Science Of Westeros: 1
Dragons
Wildre
Bloodlines
Resurrection
44 The Numbers Game
Figuring out Thrones
48 The Culture Show
GOT in popular culture
54 Every Episode Rated
As voted for by you!
64 Merchandise
GOT goodies a-coming
70 Pop-Up Westeros
A 3D map! For real!
72 Book Fan Vs TV Fan
The differing experience
76 The Videogame
Was it really all that bad?
82 Book Extract:
Dangerous Women
Taken from a new short story
by George RR Martin
INTERVIEWS
14
Nicolaj Coster-Waldau
JAMIE LANNISTER
18
Maisie Williams
ARYA STARK
22
Gwendoline Christie
BRIENNE OF TARTH
26
Rory McCann
THE HOUND
28
Liam Cunningham
SER DAVOS
30
Carice Van Houten
MELISANDRE
34
Isaac Hempstead-Wright
BRAN STARK
36
Sibel Kekilli
SHAE
38
Thomas Brodie-Sangster
JOJEN REED
40
Aidan Gillen
LITTLEFINGER
THINGS
TO KNOW
ABOUT
YOU
WINTER IS COMING, SO KEEP OUT THE COLD WITH A
CLOAK MADE OF PURE THRONES KNOWLEDGE
7
GAME OF THRONES

25 THINGS ABOUT SEASON 4
ULTIMATE FANTASY SPECIAL

SFX

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GEORGE IS
WRITING
EPISODE TWO

THERE
WILL BE
BLOOD

RECORD
BREAKERS
ARE GO
WHETHER YOUVE been reading
the corresponding books, havent read
GRRMs novels yet or simply cant
read, its worth knowing that season
four is going to be largely based on
the second half of A Storm Of Swords.
Its the third book in the A Song Of Ice
And Fire series of the five published,
and the show is rapidly catching up
with existing plot which could prove
tricky for future seasons. Expect the
seeds for plot divergence to be sown
this season unless George hurries
up, which he probably wont because
HES BUSY writing scripts for the show (among many other
projects). This season hes penning episode two, which probably
means something big is stirring early doors. Why? Well, the
episodes that Martin has previously written include The Pointy
End in season one (where Ned was captured by the Lannisters),
and Blackwater in season two (you know, the one with the
huge battle). Were willing to bet that his season four episode
will be one you dont want to miss. Not that you would anyway.
Youre no fool.
GAME OF Thrones really wouldnt be the same
without the faithful rendering of George RR
Martins murderous inclinations spilling out all
over the place. Season four is sure to be another
claret-smothered affair, with ever more spectacular
battles, murders and tortures on the way. Theres
a reason that the source novel was called A Storm
Of Swords rather than A Pile Of Pillows, and its
because things get extremely real all over Westeros
and beyond. Robb might be dead, but Joffrey hasnt
won the war yet. Mayhem is inbound, and soon.
BEARING IN mind that season threes opening episode, Valar Dohaeris,
achieved record ratings when it aired, season fours opener will probably
follow suit. Well, if you are only going to give people 10 episodes a year, what
do you expect? Still, sky-high ratings are important, mainly because they
traditionally lead to swift confirmation of another season and another years
worth of Westerosi wonderment. Which is good news, obviously. On the
downside, Valar Dohaeris was also lusted after by the swashbuckling pirates
of the internet, becoming one of the biggest illegally downloaded episodes of
the year. Boo to you, online thieves.
First rule, stick them
with the pointy end!
This isnt going to end
well, is it?
He likes you to tickle
his chin just here.

ITS BASICALLY
A STORM OF
SWORDS: part two
8 Subscribe at www.sfx.co.uk/subscriptions SFX


AND MORE
GROWING
DRAGONS

NEW NAMES
AND LOTS OF
NEW FACES

MARK GATISS
WANTS YOUR
MONEY

AND MORE
DRAMATIC
WEDDINGS
AH YES. The dragons. Danys little chaps are getting bigger and bigger, to the point where
were not entirely sure theyd make the cutesy house pets we were so certain we wanted to
adopt all the way back when they made their first appearance. The dragons have blossomed
into beasts, fiercer and harder to control than ever before. Special effects crews on set
reported shooting 15-foot jets of flame into the air to replicate the dragons lung-busting
power, using up 22 canisters and 400 litres of gas for a single dragon effects shot.
IF YOURE already struggling to remember all the
names, faces and plotlines, weve got bad news for
you friend: there are more coming. Theres been a
flood of casting announcements, including Roger
Ashton-Griffiths as father of Margaery, Mace
Tyrell, Joseph Gatt and Jane McGrath as Wildlings,
Rupert Vansittart as Bronze Yohn Royce, Indira
Varma as Ellaria Sand, Joel Fry as Meereenese lord
and prominent part of Danys story Hizdahr zo
Loraq, Paola Dionisotti as Lady Waynwood of the
Vale and Yuri Kolokolnikov as Styr, the Wildling
Magnar of Thenn. Got all that? Good, because
were not done yet...
HOORAY! MARK Gatiss is appearing in Game Of
Thrones! Rejoice! Really, this would be excellent
news whoever he was playing, but when you add
in who hes been cast as... well, we can already
anticipate how much hes going to enjoy getting his
teeth into this delicious role. Gatiss has been cast
as Tycho Nestoris, a representative of one of the
most powerful institutions in the whole world of
Game Of Thrones, the Iron Bank of Braavos. Hes
come to Westeros to collect debts on behalf of the
bank, and could well turn out to be one of the key
players in the scrabble for the Iron Throne.
CAN YOU cope with more nuptials after last seasons
literally gutting Red Wedding? Were guessing not,
and rightly so. George RR Martin isnt the sort of chap
to allow love and happiness and food and booze to
get in the way of his story, and this season will be no
different. Joffrey and Margaery are the happy couple
this time and, well, they arent going for a quirky,
budget BuzzFeed wedding, thats for sure. The scenes
of their special day included 23 named roles, with 218
extras drafted in and enough catering to feed a small
army. Mazel tov!
From little eggs, huge
dragons grow.
Margaery gets to grips
withJoffreys weapon.
9
GAME OF THRONES


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SING WHEN
YOURE
WINNING
ITS GOING
TO GET
WEIRDER
TYRION
LANNISTER
ON TRIAL

THE ANGRY
TARGARYEN
STRIKES BACK
THE RED
VIPER
COMETH
CARRYING ON the now traditional Game Of
Thrones musical cameo thus far weve had
members of Coldplay, Snow Patrol and The Hold
Steady get involved with the show season four
will see bewitching Icelandic warblers Sigur Ros
get in on the act. Details are thin on the ground,
but weve got our fingers crossed for a musical
contribution, because, frankly, theyre ace, and its
been confirmed that three of them shot cameos
in Croatia. Modern spins on Westerosi music
work for us every single time The Hold Steadys
version of The Bear And The Maiden Fair still
makes us want to quaff ale and fight.
OKAY, SO weve already seen a fair
bit of out-there magic (Melisandres
smoke-baby anyone?), but Brans journey
north is about to introduce ideas and
characters that have been quietly
building since the first ever episode.
Remember that three-eyed raven? We
wont say anything other than this: not
just a freaky bird. Expect to explore
the bizarre roots of the religion of the
North, including those huge trees with
faces in them that the Starks are so fond
of at least, thats according to Isaac
Hempstead-Wright, Bran Stark himself:
Bran is sort of exploring a mystical
element to his storyline and trees are
quite heavily involved in that.
DID YOU spot Tyrion in chains in the preview
trailer? Just what the very heck is going on there,
eh? In the name of good spoiler practice, we wont
reveal too much, suffice to say that the Imp is in
the hottest water hes ever been in, and its about
something much more than sneaking the odd lady
of the night into the Red Keep.
WE SAW her massing her impressive army in the last
season, and now Daenerys is set to truly make a name
for herself across Essos. Expect Dany to put her military
might and her now-massive dragons to good use, visit
new cities and generally act like the kick-ass we all know
she is. Throw in a little bit of lovin, coming this way
courtesy of sellsword captain Daario Naharis, and all told
Dany has got a pretty busy 10 episodes ahead.
YOU MIGHT have caught the odd allusion to a place called Dorne, and this
season well see exactly why the as-yet-unseen kingdom is so important to
anyone who covets the Iron Throne. Brilliantly, well get to meet Oberyn
Martell, also known as the Red Viper and something of a cult character
among readers of the novels. Pedro Pascal has been cast as the suave and
fiery bisexual prince who wields a deadly spear, and he sounds thoroughly
kick-ass. Pascal has said that the Red Viper, Doesnt care what people
think, he doesnt give a f**k. He gets around, hes a lover and a fighter.
Events take an even
weirder turn for Bran.
Yep, thats Coldplay
drummer Will Champion.


ITS A
FAMILY
AFFAIR

EPIC
IS THE
WORD
OUT
WITH
THE OLD

LOCATION,
LOCATION,
LOCATION
AS WE saw in the preview trailer, those lovely Lannister lot are all back together again, albeit
not quite in one piece. Things are about to get even worse for the most dysfunctional family in
Westeros, with life on the road (and the loss of his hand) changing Jaime, and Cersei becoming
ever more distant from the king. Ah yes, Joffrey, the man fandom loves to hate, who has clung
on to the Iron Throne through it all. Will season four finally see him get his comeuppance?
We sincerely hope so
SEASON FOUR has been put together over a
mammoth 136-day shoot, with more than 600
pages of script produced for the 10 episodes.
Two principal film units named Wolf and
Dragon have been traipsing round the globe,
shooting in Iceland, Croatia and Northern
Ireland, and some new faces have joined the
team: The Worlds End and Shaun Of The Dead
make-up designer Jane Walker and Moulin
Rouge production designer Deb Riley.
AS WELL as completely new characters
making their debut this season, some
familiar faces have been replaced just in
case you werent confused enough. The most
prominent piece of re-casting is probably
Daario Naharis, Danys sellsword bit of
stuff who was played by Ed Skein in the
last season. Hes been replaced by Michael
Huisman (lucky boy). Another change is the
Mountain or Gregor Clegane as his mother
knew him, the Hounds bigger, nastier
brother. Its the third time that character has
been re-cast, and this time round hell be
played by the suitably huge Thor Bjornsson.
Finally, Joffreys little brother Tommen
Baratheon, previously played by Callum
Wharry, looks to have been replaced by
Dean-Charles Chapman (who has actually
previously appeared on the show as Martyn
Lannister, one of the boys murdered by Lord
Karstark. Remember that?).
WE CANT wait to head back to all the old
familiar locales, from Kings Landing itself
to the Wall, but wed bet our bottom dollar
that theres going to be at least a couple of
new and returning locations. Casting suggests
that well be heading back to the Vale thats
where Bronze Yohn Royce plies his trade, for
example and word on the Game Of Thrones
grapevine is that well be getting at least one
entirely new city, if not more. Wed guess at
Mereen and Braavos in Essos, and perhaps
Dorne in Westeros.

STARK
GIRLS
GONE

WHAT IS
DEAD MAY
NEVER DIE
THOSE POOR Stark girls: first Ned loses
his head, then Robb and Catelyn follow. The
sisters have both got significant arcs ahead
of them this season, and they couldnt be
further apart. Sansa remains a prisoner of the
Lannisters at Kings Landing, while Arya is out
in the wild with the Hound. Life isnt about to
get any simpler for the Stark girls, but were
excited to see what season four holds in store
for them. We reckon theyll both have their
travelling cloaks on before long.
THE SUPERNATURAL quotient is sure to rise
all round, not just for Bran. The Brotherhood
Without Banners and their many-times-dead
leader Beric Dondarrion will find themselves
a few new recruits, among them a very much
alive dead person. Thats all were saying on
that one.
Kings dont get much
crueller than this.
Its time for Sansa to
show some Stark steel.
11
GAME OF THRONES


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WHAT
NEXT FOR
STANNIS?
WESTEROS
FIGHT
CLUB

CONSIDER THE
GAME OF THRONES
ANTE UPPED

THE
NORTH
REMEMBERS

SNOW
JOKE
KIT
DEFEATED AT the Blackwater, in thrall to Melisandre and,
frankly, a little underused in season three, Stannis has still got
a war to fight. So exactly how is the bolshy Baratheon going to
play out this season? Quietly, brooding in his castle, or waving
his sword about like a maniac and going for Joffreys head?
Whichever way he goes, hes a threat that Joffrey would be a
fool to underestimate.
YOU MIGHT think that battles couldnt possibly
get much bigger than Tyrion raining green fire
down on the Blackwater, but think again: this
season well be seeing the biggest scrap yet, with
the climax of A Storm Of Swords finally making its
way onto our screens. In terms of epic fantasy land
battles, were fairly sure that this one will blow our
tiny minds all over again. We dont want to say too
much, because spoilers burn, but take it from us:
Jon Snow is going to have his hands pretty full by
the time this season plays out.
AS WITH the Red Wedding last season, David Benioff and DB Weiss have
been looking forward to getting their hands dirty with this seasons key events.
David Benioff seems pretty psyched with season four: I think its going to
surpass season three; theres so many scenes weve been waiting for so long
to do. And it just gets more and more fun to write for these characters. After
three years of doing it, were so much more comfortable making everything
uncomfortable for them. Were very excited about it. Season five gives me
nightmares, but not season four.
ALAS, THOSE hardy Northerners
look like theyre going to be in
for a rough ride this season. After
all, bastards dont come much
bigger than Roose Bolton and his
giggling, torturing maniac of a son,
and now that Robbs out of the
way theres sure to be some pretty
serious repercussions for the Stark
bannermen left behind. Lets not
forget that Theon is still having
bits of him sliced off for fun, which
is sure to anger those ever-friendly
Greyjoys. The north is in turmoil
and theres no telling how its
going to turn out.
THINGS MIGHT have gotten a little bleak last season, but you havent
seen the half of it. Trust us: things are about to get bloodier and even
more berserk for the inhabitants of Westeros and we cant wait. See
you on 6 April
LIFE AT the wall is tough at
the best of times, but Jon Snow
is going to have his hands full
dealing with the fallout from
season three. After the debacle at
Crasters Keep the Nights Watch
is in need of a new Commander,
Mance Rayders Wildlings are on
the move towards Castle Black,
Sam and Maester Aemon are
awaiting replies from lords across
Westeros after sending word that
the White Walkers have returned,
and Jons got some serious
explaining to do to his brothers
after spending most of last season
running around with Wildlings.
Good luck, Jon
BRACE
YOURSELF,
WINTER IS
COMING
Surly Stannis ponders
his next move.

N
O
A
h who doesnt love a dragon? But
could huge fire-breathing lizards with
an affinity for platinum blondes soar
through the skies of Essex as well as
Essos? And have they ever?
On the face of it this is an easy one nope.
Dragons are magic, and magic isnt real (apart
from Dynamo, he is definitely real and magic).
But evolution is even more creative than George
RR Martin, and just as keen on sex and death
It seems that for every possible dragony trait
there are real-world creatures that could
happily perch on Daeneryss unsinged shoulder.
For instance we can totally do the big flying
lizard stuff, were just about 68 million years
too late. Fossilised skeletons have been found
in North America of Quetzalcoatlus a huge
pterosaur with a 10-metre wingspan thought
to be the largest creature to ever take to the air.
FLAMMABLE FARTS
Fire breathing is less easy. Its not really
something that occurs in nature, but we do
have a much smaller equivalent, except that
it works... in reverse. The bombardier beetle
sprays a mix of hot, noxious chemicals from
its abdomen when its feeling threatened. It
stores two compounds (hydrogen peroxide and
hydroquinone) in its body, mixing them together
with water and catalytic enzymes in a separate
internal chamber to create an unholy hot, gassy,
explosive spray.
But if tiny creatures farting bleach dont quite
capture the grandeur of ancient Valyria, what
are our other options?
One might be the, er, power of actual farts. As
some readers will know, many animals produce
an abundance of flammable flatus. At the risk
of over-egging the potential of colonic gas, if
you couple it with a spark, perhaps via a pulse
of electricity (hat tip, the electric eel) youre
definitely getting warmer in your hunt for
dragon breath.
Human wind, for example, contains methane,
hydrogen sulphide and hydrogen, and can
be relied upon to explode enthusiastically
with the addition of two friends, three bottles
of Merrydown cider and a cigarette lighter.
But even with some sophisticated biological
rerouting so that its coming out of the right end,
its clear that humans, like most other animals
with just the one stomach, cant manufacture
gas in the quantities necessary to burn down the
towers of Harrenhal.
This is an area in which the ruminants, with
their multiple stomachs full of methane-
creating bacteria, have definite advantages.
A cow can produce between 250-500 litres
of highly flammable methane a day and, as it
happens, most of this is belched out. Earlier this
year it was reported that a build-up of methane
from a particularly afflicted dairy herd, coupled
with an accidental spark of static electricity,
nearly blew the roof off their barn in Rasdorf,
Germany though doubt has subsequently been
cast on the ability of even the windiest cow herd
to achieve this through gas alone.
HOLY COW!
So were not exactly talking Balerion the Black
Dread here, but it may be that one day, who
knows? After a lot of genetic tinkering, an Aegon
the Conqueror in our world will be able to ride
valiantly into battle against his foes on the back
of a fire-breathing heifer.
The four-part second series of Helen Keens
excellent comedy series, It Is Rocket
Science, starts airing on Radio 4
on Wednesday 2 April at 11pm
Could creating a re-breathing creature be a matter of genetically
splicing an electric eel with a cow, wonders Helen Keen?

I
S
T
O
C
K

(
X
3
)
COW
(Bos primigenius)
ELECTRIC EEL
(Electrophorus electricus)
13
GAME OF THRONES

THE SCIENCE OF DRAGONS

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Aw, babys rst
proper ame.
Drogons the ercest of
Danys three dragons.
Careful with
the claws!
He looks cute
now, but
Pterosaur
(Pterosauromorpha)
Dragon
(Coelurosauravus
Volcanus)
BEYOND THE THRONE
BORN: 1970
FROM: Rudkbing, Denmark
GREATEST HITS: Black Hawk
Down, Kingdom Of
Heaven, Oblivion
RANDOM FACT: Coster-Waldeaus
father-in-law, Josef Motzfeldt, is
leader of the Inuit Community
party in Greenland.
15
GAME OF THRONES

NIKOLAJ COSTER-WALDAU

SFX

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J

aime Lannister might have bedded his sister and
attempted to kill poor Bran Stark but Nikolaj Coster-
Waldaus urbane charm and rugged good looks mean fans
cant get enough of the so-called Kingslayer. Having appeared
alongside Tom Cruise in last years Oblivion and with the
big-budget Gods Of Egypt currently on his plate, the 43-year-
old has proved to be one of Game Of Throness breakout stars.
Now after Jaimes arduous journey across the Riverlands,
which culminated in him having his hand chopped off while
rescuing his erstwhile captor Brienne of Tarth, season four
will see him back in the relative safety of Kings Landing.
How have you coped with acting one-handed this season
Its been great! As an actor, you have this character who is so
defined by his skills as a swordsman and then you take that
one thing away from him. Its a large obstacle and its difficult
for him to deal with as a person. As an actor, you like those
kinds of things. Physically, it was a bit of a nightmare because
to begin with I had to have my arm down my left leg and a
stump as well, but it worked out fine.
Did Jaime meet his match when he was forced to form an
uneasy alliance with Brienne?
Hed never met anyone like her before, and had never been
forced to spend that much time with a woman. Clearly, after
losing his hand, and after what happens in the scenes just
after that, he realises that hes met someone in Brienne who
he can actually trust, and thats something that hes only
ever had once before with maybe one other person, which
was Tyrion. Then, of course, she reminds him of himself
and that leads to the scene in the bathtub where he goes
back and tells the story about what happened with the mad
king for the first time (and how he earned the nickname
Kingslayer). The trick with something like that is always
to know where you are headed with a character. For even
though he goes through a huge change, you still want to put
out the seeds of it early on, so that it doesnt seem like a whole
different person it still has to be the same guy. But thats the
writing, which is brilliant.
After filming in Northern Ireland during the third season,
youve moved on to Croatia because Jaime is now back in
Kings Landing. Have you enjoyed the change of scenery?
Ive liked all the locations that Ive been to so far. I really
enjoyed Northern Ireland because its an amazing place.
Its so different as you can go 10 miles one way and find
something quite unique and then go 10 miles the other way
and its completely different again. Of course, there was a
lot of rain and it was very wet and cold, so getting to go to
Dubrovnik and spending a lot of time there was brilliant.
We had a scene at one point under these massive city walls
and we were filming in these old dungeons. You really have
to pinch yourself. I was thinking, This is amazing, not only
that they built this place but also that we are allowed to
shoot in it.
Does that add to your performance?
Everything does that. Thats whats so much fun about doing
a show like Game Of Thrones. Its a 100 per cent experience
because its not just the settings, its the costumes, the make-
up everything. The attention to detail is quite something.
As its based on the second half of A Storm Of Swords,
we presume season four is much more fast-paced with
considerably more pay-offs
The structure of this season is somewhat different from
previous seasons. Whereas before weve had all these
Nikolaj
Coster-Waldau
Hes lost a hand but gained a friend, of sorts, in Brienne; so
what does season four have in store for the Kingslayer?
All interviews by Stephen Jewell
YOU HAVE THIS CHARACTER
WHO IS SO DEFINED BY HIS
SKILLS AS A SWORDSMAN THEN
YOU TAKE THAT AWAY FROM HIM
Shh. Dont mention
youre my sister.
JAIME
LANNISTER

storylines and then one of them will have come to a peak
a climax theres now much more of these happening
throughout the season.
After last years Red Wedding, season four will see the
Purple Wedding between King Joffrey and Margaery Tyrell,
which we trust will be a much more stately and hopefully
less bloody affair!
There is another wedding but I cant really say anything
about it. Will it be as bloody? Now, that would be terrible!
Has the success of Game Of Thrones impacted significantly
on your life?
If it has changed, its basically because people watch the
show so theres an awareness of you as an actor, which is
good. On a personal level, my life is still the same and will
hopefully continue to be the same.
Have you had any strange encounters with fans?
Not really; just a lot of happiness! But having said that, you
do sometimes have these weird experiences. I was in the
shower at the gym once and this guy that I didnt know, who
was also naked, comes up to me and says, Youre Jaimie
Lannister! What are you doing here? I was like Ive just been
working out and now Im having a shower. But he just kept
talking, so we had a talk.
Jaime was either
dodging a sword
or waving one.
But no more.
Grovelling in the
mud. Again.
BEYOND THE THRONE
BORN: 1997
FROM: Somerset
GREATEST HITS: The Secret Of
Crickley Hall
RANDOM FACT: Williams is
right-handed, but plays Arya as
left-handed.
19
GAME OF THRONES

MAISIE WILLIAMS

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A
s gutsy teen runaway Arya Stark, Maisie Williams has
won over Game Of Thrones fans everywhere. Raised
in Somerset, the 16-year-old she turns 17 just after
season four debuts on our screens studied performance
art at Bath Dance College. Having formed an uneasy alliance
with her captor Sandor The Hound Clegane, season four
opens with Arya still reeling from the devastating events of
the Red Wedding.
Season three culminated with Arya stumbling upon the
aftermath of the Red Wedding. How was that for you?
Actually filming the beginning of episode 10 where we see
the direwolfs head on Robb Starks body was really crazy,
even though we didnt have anything to react to as it was
just like a tennis ball on a stick. But everything else around
us was exactly as it should have been and it felt so real.
There were these stunt guys who had been there all day and
the ground was no longer solid, it was just slushy mud and
there were fires everywhere. It was the middle of the night
and wed been doing this for the past week so everyone was
exhausted and completely going at each other. And there was
blood everywhere and horses getting spooked, so the tension
was high. But thats what the show is really great at doing,
creating a realistic atmosphere thats as close to whats in the
script as possible.
Arya has been hailed as a feminist icon. Are you pleased that
fans have embraced her so enthusiastically?
Im so thrilled that Arya has been so popular with people
around the world. What I love about the character is that she
doesnt need the beautiful dresses, the tight-fitting clothes or
the gorgeous make-up for people to like her. You know that
its solidly about the character and thats why people are such
fans of hers and thats what I really love about her.
What have you learnt from her?
Arya is very up front about what she feels, which I find very
admirable. A lot of the time we can be very nervous about
upsetting people, when actually people are never really all
that offended by what you say. Its not that youre being really
rude, its that youve just got to get to the point sometimes.
Its like when you go to someones house and they ask you if
you want a drink and youre like I dont mind. If you want
a drink, just say so! With Arya, she will simply say what she
is feeling and thats why shes such a favourite shes always
saying what shes thinking.
Has Arya learnt much from the Hound then?
I feel like theyre learning from each other as they both
have assets that the other one needs. If Arya feels like shes
stuck with him for the foreseeable future, she may as well
learn something while shes in that situation. Hes definitely
doing something right because the whole of Westeros is
petrified of him, so I feel like shes picking up on just how
brutal the Hound is.
Is there any chance of Arya reuniting with the remaining
Starks any time soon?
Theres just the four of us left now! But I hope so, purely
because Id love to work with Sophie [Turner, who plays
Sansa Stark] again on set. Its been so long since weve
been able to mess around together. But as far as the story is
concerned, I dont think its going to happen any time soon
because theyre so far away and I dont think Arya is even
trying to achieve that. Thats not her direction anymore as
she has given up on trying to control her future and is just
Maisie
Williams
Teamed with former arch-foe the Hound,
Arya is still coming to terms with being
one of only four remaining Stark siblings
ARYA DOESNT NEED BEAUTIFUL
DRESSES, TIGHT-FITTING
CLOTHES OR GORGEOUS MAKE-
UP FOR PEOPLE TO LIKE HER
ARYA
STARK
Aryas had to grow
up without her dad.

seeing whatever is going to happen in this world. I dont think
Arya thinks that she is going to see any of them ever again.
But for the audience, it would be really great if they did.
So have you been keeping up to date with the other
storylines?
I know whats happening in the scripts and when you
meet up with other cast members who are working on
different units, you can talk about what you were filming
that day. So you roughly know whats going on but you
live and breathe your own storyline and theres so many
other things going on that I can sit down and watch it as a
fan as well. Its great that everything is so separate because
then you can have some surprises when you watch it. But
at the same time, it would be great to be more involved
and to get to watch all the other things that are going on.
Theres been some fantastic stuff shot this year that Id
loved to have been there to see. And then theres all the
stuff with the dragons. Id love to see how that was done but
obviously youre off doing your own thing. A lot of the time
it does feel like youre on a completely different show to
everybody else.
You got to do some filming in Iceland. How was that?
It was fantastic! We were there in the summer and
wed go out in the evening and at midnight wed watch
the sunset. Then wed go for dinner and the sun would
rise again at 2am as we were walking home. It was just
the most amazing thing. I remember walking back from
the centre of town and thinking, This is so cool. Thats
something that Id never have done if this show had not
come about Ive been to places I never thought Id go to.
We get to experience all of that while were working and
thats really brilliant. Its just a pleasure that we get to do
what we love as a living.
Has being a part of Game Of Thrones changed your life?
This is going to sound like a sob story but its not at all. I was
always quite weird at school. I wasnt messing around but
I was very bubbly and people were just a little bit scared of
me because I was always a bit hyper all the time. I had a
few friends but I was never like the popular one, the pretty
girl. That was where I was at and then Game Of Thrones
happened.
My mum was like, Be careful that people arent like false
friends, but actually it went completely the opposite way as
everyone was like, Now, youre the weird girl who appears
in a TV series! I still have some friends that I had back then
but Ive lost a few along the way but that happens anyway as
relationships change all the time.
I feel like Ive grown up extremely quickly being on
this show and Im now working in an adult world aged 16.
I cant even book into a hotel until Im 18 but I can fly all
the way to Northern Ireland and I dont have a chaperone
on set anymore. So Im in this weird limbo where half the
world is like, Youre a grown-up and the other half is,
Youre still a child. But Ive still got some fantastic friends
and if anything, this show has hugely sped up that process
of finding out who your real friends are, which sometimes
takes a long time to realise.
Poor Podrick, wed
almost forgotten
No fancy silk
frocks for Arya.
An unlikely
alliance.
BEYOND THE THRONE
BORN: She claims she
cant remember
FROM: Sussex
GREATEST HITS: The Imaginarium
Of Dr Parnassus
RANDOM FACT: Christie was
a talented dancer as a child,
learning ballet, tap and rhythmic
gymnastics, but a back injury,
aged 11, forced her to quit.
23
GAME OF THRONES

GWENDOLINE CHRISTIE

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BRIENNE
OF TARTH
K
nown for her striking looks and for being six-foot
three-inches tall, Gwendoline Christie was an inspired
choice to take on the role of fearsome warrior woman,
Brienne of Tarth in fact, shed been proposed for the role
on fan websites long before auditions took place. Currently
juggling Game Of Thrones with playing extraterrestrial
princess Lexi in Wizards Vs Aliens, the South Downs-born
actress has become a firm fan favourite since joining the
show in season two. Charged by the late Catelyn Stark in
the hope that it will secure the return of her daughters with
escorting Jaime Lannister back to Kings Landing, Brienne
finds herself in dangerously unfamiliar territory as season
four begins.
Has the success of Game Of Thrones had a significant
impact upon your career?
Its been great to be in something that so many people
watch and are so enthusiastic about. They have such a strong
emotional response, which is such a rare thing and its a real
privilege to be a part of something like that.
As a woman who is literally battling in a male-dominated
world, Brienne is forced to take on masculine qualities. Was
that tough to play?
Shes a really exciting and interesting character and what
we see, particularly in season three, is her evolution. Initially
shes this fighting machine, but we start to see the woman
in her emerge during her journey with Jaime. As I like to
see it, its a journey of discovery of what its like to not only
be a woman in this world, but also a woman who is outside
convention, and not having that dictated to you in the realm
of Game Of Thrones. Shes not the sort of character that comes
along very often and we will see more of that characters
development in season four as, yet again, she is put in
situations that you wouldnt expect, with people that you
wouldnt expect. So you can never quite predict the outcome.
How do you cope with the physical demands of playing a
character like Brienne?
Im now someone who goes to the gym as I had to train for
eight hours a day for months on end, doing sword-fighting,
learning particular fights and being taught how to box by
[stunt performer] CC Smiff. Im not naturally gifted when
it comes to those kinds of things. Unlike Nikolaj Coster-
Waldau it literally took two hours over Skype for him to
learn how to sword fight!
Game Of Thrones is renowned for its lavish sets and
memorable locations. Does that help to enhance your
performance?
The attention to detail is absolutely wonderful and its
not just sumptuous aesthetically, it really does feed your
imagination as an actor. It means that you dont have to
pretend because its all there already. Youre immersed in
mud, or in the countryside, and its all very real to you. When
were in Croatia, it really is Kings Landing.
Game Of Thrones is notorious for its frequent and
unpredictable deaths. Does it make you nervous about how
long your character will be around for?
Yes, but thats all part of the fun of doing a job like this
because you dont know when its going to end. So, series
by series, you have to embrace it and literally play it in the
moment. Whatevers happening with your character, they
dont know when theyre going to die either, so its quite
helpful in that sense. Its certainly not very secure but at
least its exciting!
Gwendoline
Christie
As Brienne of Tarth, Gwendoline Christie
shows the men of Westeros that she can
swing a sword with the best of them
INITIALLY SHES THIS FIGHTING
MACHINE, BUT WE START TO SEE
THE WOMAN IN HER EMERGE
DURING HER TIME WITH JAIME
Pooh sticks
with swords?
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ULTIMATE FANTASY SPECIAL 24
THE
SCIENCE
OF
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WESTEROS
N
O
TWO
WILDFIRE
I
n the climactic Battle of the Blackwater,
the mighty forces of Stannis Baratheon are
ranged against the beleaguered capital,
Kings Landing. Tyrion Lannister, occupying
the unenviable position of Hand of the King
(best not to think about where King Joffreys
actual hands have been) sends a single ship
to meet the invading fleet. That ship is laden
with wildfire and, ignited by a single arrow
from Bronns bow, it swiftly engulfs the closely
packed enemy galleys in flames.
Wildfire is a creatively unpleasant addition
to Westeros wars as it burns all before it and
spreads like, well, wildfire. The manufacture
of the substance is a secret closely guarded by
the Alchemists Guild. It is apparently known
in less enlightened parts of the Kingdom as
pyromancers piss (NB, if your wee is capable
of burning men alive/setting ships ablaze it may
seem cool now but you should probably seek
medical attention, just in case.)
Human beings being what they are, its no
surprise to discover that, in our world, science
has created a weapon that is more than a
match for wildfires sinister eternal flames. In
the 1940s a team led by organic chemist Louis
Fieser and based at Harvard University found
that adding a thickening agent to fuel created
something that burned longer and also tended
to stick to surfaces. Napalm (named after two
of the constituents of its thickening agent:
naphthenic acid and palmitic acid) is a burning
gel, usually based on petroleum, that sticks
to roofs, furniture and skin. Being oil-based it
will burn on, and not be easily extinguished by,
water just like wildfire. Napalms horrific role
in the Vietnam war is notorious, and the UN
finally outlawed its use against civilians in 1980.
BATS OUT OF HELL
But during World War II there was a plan to
deploy it that couldve come straight out of the
imagination of George RR Martin himself...
The US military plotted to arm killer bats with
napalm. Really. This plan was known as Project
X-ray (as, presumably, Project Bat S**t didnt
quite strike the right note). Louis Fieser was
asked to build tiny incendiary devices that the
bats could carry into enemy territory, and came
up with oblong, nitrocellulose cases filled with
thickened kerosene with a small time-delay
igniter cemented along one side. This to say
the least curious scheme originated in the
mind of a 60-something Pennsylvanian dentist,
Lytle S Adams. He wrote to US President
Roosevelt vividly setting out how the millions
of bats that have for ages inhabited our belfries,
tunnels and caverns were placed there by God to
await this hour to play their part in the scheme
of free human existence, and to frustrate any
attempt of those who dare to desecrate our way
of life... FDR was quick to get on board with
the idea of bats as divine defenders of the free
world, emphasising to the military (no doubt
unnecessarily) this guy is not a nut.
But in our world as in Westeros this highly
potent fire isnt too fussy about what it burns,
and during a test flight the bomber bats
accidentally set a US military base ablaze.
However, the deployment of their fatal
flames during World War II was prevented
by the speedier development of an even
deadlier weapon, the Atomic Bomb. Perhaps
in comparison the wars and tactics in Kings
Landing arent so terrifying after all
Napalm
(naphthenic acid and palmitic acid)
The Game Of Thrones WMD isnt quite as batty as what the
Americans had planned in the real world, reveals Helen Keen
BAT
(Chiroptera)

I
S
T
O
C
K

(
X
2
)
25 www.sfx.co.uk
GAME OF THRONES

THE SCIENCE OF WILDFIRE

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Blackwater becomes Greenwater.
And its not because of the algae.
Abandon
ship!
Aaaaagggh!
Aaaaagghhh!
and the eet
was no more.
Wildre
(Well, not quite for once truth
really is stranger than ction)
BEYOND THE THRONE
BORN: 1969
FROM: Glasgow, Scotland
GREATEST HITS: Alexander, Hot
Fuzz, Clash Of The Titans
RANDOM FACT: Early in his
career McCann appeared as a
scantily-clad hunk in a vest and
kilt in a commercial for Scotts
Porage Oats.
27
GAME OF THRONES

RORY MCCANN

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F
ormerly the despicable King Joffreys personal
bodyguard, scar-faced Sandor The Hound Clegane has
been his own boss since fleeing Kings Landing during
the Battle of the Blackwater although his attempt to claim a
reward for returning the errant Arya Stark to her family was
foiled by the gruesome developments of the Red Wedding.
Sandor and Arya make for a very unlikely team
Its been a bit of a Scooby-Doo/Scrappy-Doo road trip! The
characters are still in a place of turmoil and have been torn
apart by civil war. Its a really dangerous place but Im sure
the Hound can help his fellow companion survive and show
her how to dodge this sword-blow or kill that person.
Have Sandors feelings towards Arya changed over the
course of their journey?
I feel like the Hound sees her as part of this whole package
where shes his meal ticket and that this is his chance to find
another castle and to certainly find a better wedding to go to.
Maybe hell end up with a bag of gold, maybe another job or
maybe hell be at peace. You never know, the Hound might
find peace one day.
Were you shocked by the Red Wedding?
I hadnt read the script so I didnt know what happened. I
didnt dream that it was going to be as bad as that! I felt like
crying and then after it went out, I saw some clips online of
people watching the Red Wedding and they were all wailing.
So I went from crying to laughing hysterically!
Your fight last season with Beric Dondarrion and his
flaming sword was really spectacular. How do you top that?
I feel like that was nothing, which is crazy because I worked
really hard on that. But Im fighting all the way through this
season as per usual and after what Ive recently seen in the
sound studio because sometimes you have to go back in
to make some grunting noises I just thought, Bloody hell!
Theyre going to be blown away! I was saying that last season
about a big dark fight with a sword on fire but this is going to
go even crazier!
Do you spend a lot of time rehearsing your fights?
Even though I was only filming for 20 days, it still ended
up swallowing up several months of the year as there was so
much training. Its like a dance that you have to get right I
ended up feeling like Id been through a few battles. But it was
a joy to do as the stunt team are fantastic and it really was a
laugh. It was a lot of work and I had to spend a lot of time in
the gym to keep in peak condition so I was actually really
boring, just staying in my room and cooking plain chicken and
boiled eggs. I didnt go out once.
Does it take a lot of time to put on Sandors facial make-up?
It took about two hours, although theyve got a new
prosthetic, which is nicer and a bit cooler. But it still took a
lot of faffing about to put it on and between takes the whole
team would come in and pull it, so no wonder Im such a
grumpy character!
Will appearing in the series allow you to go up for more
ambitious parts when you eventually move on from
Game Of Thrones?
I just want to go up for better jobs and work with
some decent directors. Maybe Ill step away from the
swashbuckling and cutting off of heads, but well have to see
what happens.
Rory
McCann
The re-fearing man mountain that is the
Hound will see plenty more scraps as he
continues his adventure with young Arya
IM SURE THE HOUND CAN HELP
ARYA SURVIVE AND SHOW HER
HOW TO DODGE THIS SWORD
BLOW OR KILL THAT PERSON
Were weary
just watching
SANDOR
THE HOUND CLEGANE
BEYOND THE THRONE
BORN: 1961
FROM: Dublin, Ireland
GREATEST HITS: Clash Of The
Titans, The Wind That Shakes
The Barley
RANDOM FACT: In the 80s
Cunningham spent three years
at a safari park in Zimbabwe
training electricians.
29
GAME OF THRONES

LIAM CUNNINGHAM

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W
hile popular characters often suffer unexpected
demises, Liam Cunninghams character Davos
Seaworth made a welcome return from a watery
grave in the last season of Game Of Thrones. Cunningham
insists that the Onion Knight is not out of his depth, though,
as he enters an enthralling battle of wills with aspiring
monarch Stannis Baratheon and sinister witch Melisandre.
How would you sum Davos up?
Hes kind of a simple guy, who started out very poor. Hes
ended up in a nest of vipers and trying to remain honourable
in the middle of all that is incredibly difficult. I tend to think
of it in governmental terms, as art should hold a mirror up
to society. So, in a sense, Game Of Thrones is like watching
political parties operate. Anywhere there is power and the
desire for power, theres going to be Machiavellian types
who do not necessarily consider the interests of the people
theyre supposed to represent. So for an ordinary guy like
Davos to end up in the middle of all that is very interesting.
I tend to think of him almost as an audience member; hes an
everyman who has to deal with people like Melisandre and
her way of doing things. They both want the same thing but
he doesnt like her methods he wants it done with honour
and respectability.
Does Davos form an unholy alliance with Melisandre?
She seems to have become a bit more of a lynchpin this
season. At the end of season three, Melisandre has a vision
and says, This is not the real war, the real war is coming. The
war hasnt finished for Davos, Melisandre and Stannis and
what we will see is that these guys are definitely on a mission.
Its like the poster says, The War is not Over, and for us the
war isnt over until we get Stannis on the Iron Throne. So
Davos and Melisandre both have the same motivation, and
theyre both trying to do the same job, but they just have very
different methods of getting Stannis there and thats going to
be explored more in season four.
Melisandre is definitely a tough customer!
Shes f**king dangerous! But all the women in this show are
f**king dangerous! There are not many shows or Hollywood
movies that show women as fully-formed characters that men
live in fear of most of the time. Look at Cersei, Melisandre,
Khaleesi and even little Arya. Arya is dangerous, man! But
on this show, we couldnt have the extremity of the violence
or the sex unless it was justified by having well-rounded
characters that are both male and female, which is another
reason why people have taken the show to their hearts.
Women arent being patronised in this, even when they get
up to no good you think, This is what they have to do. You
might not agree with their methods but you can see the
thinking behind it.
Its like when Catelyn Stark was killed. The loss of that
character was huge but you can only experience that loss if
the character has been drawn properly.
We also see the various storylines starting to overlap more
in season four
There is a bit of that and what brings them all together is
very unpredictable. Who would have thought at the beginning
of season three that at the end of it, Stannis would be
attempting to kill Davos and Melisandre would end up saving
his life? Thats one of the reasons why people love the show:
theres that element of unpredictably. Anything can happen
and anyone can go. Nobody is safe. Will I be killed off again?
Who knows but my bank manager is quite scared!
Liam
Cunningham
Ser Davos knows his onions, but will his
sense of honour be his salvation or
his undoing?
WE COULDNT HAVE THE
VIOLENCE OR THE SEX WITHOUT
WELL-ROUNDED CHARACTERS
BOTH MALE AND FEMALE
Talking business
on the beach.
SER DAVOS
SEAWORTH
BEYOND THE THRONE
BORN: 1976
FROM: Leiderdorp, Holland
GREATEST HITS: Black Book,
Valkyrie, Repo Men
RANDOM FACT: Van Houten is
also a singer and made it to #1 in
The Netherlands with Dutch rock
band Kane, in 2010
31
GAME OF THRONES

CARICE VAN HOUTEN

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F
rom her sensational debut in season two, Carice Van
Houtens mesmerising performance as Melisandre has
sent shivers down spines. But just like Game Of Throness
other leading female protagonists, there is more to the
mystical Priestess of Rhllor than meets the eye.
Was it a daunting prospect joining such a successful series
as Game Of Thrones?
The first time I arrived on set, it was a bit overwhelming
because it was already like a very well-oiled machine so
I felt a little bit new to it. Its such a big show. There are
three cameras on all the time and you hardly know anyone
because it takes so long before you get to know everybodys
name. But as Ive got to know more and more people, Ive
gotten a little bit more confident. In Holland, we have such
a small industry and everybody knows each other, so I know
what kind of jokes I can make. Back home, we have a saying:
Were looking the cats out of the tree, which means that
were a little shy and insecure. But Im slowly getting out of
that shy shell.
Melisandre is one of Game Of Throness nastiest characters,
which is saying something
In Disney films, she would be the wicked stepmother. In
this world that were creating, whats good about it is that
its so much more grey and more complex. Yes, her methods
are very cruel but in order to play a character like that, you
have to somehow justify what shes doing. In her head, its
for the greater good and shes doing the right thing, which
of course is dangerous, because thats how people with evil
plans justify themselves. They dont think theyre doing evil
stuff. But what attracts me to her is that she is so strong and a
little mysterious, even to me. As an actor, its great to be able
to not have to play the wife of someone, or someone who is
in the castle feeding the baby and waiting for their prince to
come home.
Will we see Melisandre locking horns with Davos again in
series four?
In the fourth season, youre not going to see that much of
those two together. Basically what youre going to see from
my character is a little bit of the Stannis household, which
is Stannis, his wife and his other wife, which is me. Theres
going to be that triangle and youll also see Stannis with his
wife and his daughter, and Melisandre and the daughter. So
youll see a bit more of all of that.
Game Of Thrones has a reputation for killing off characters
at unexpected moments. Do you fear for Melisandre?
Mostly its the first thing you say to the writers, David
Benioff and Dan Weiss, when you see them somewhere in the
hotel: Am I still alive? Of course, its always a surprise and
you dont necessarily know even if youre a fan of the books
because theyre diverting off from the books sometimes. They
might just not like someone and often theyll have dinner with
people theyre going to kill off. I had dinner last year with one
of them and in the taxi to the restaurant I was thinking, Wait
a minute, this might mean Im going to die! It ended up just
being a nice meal but you never know.
Have you read George RR Martins novels?
I read as little as possible. I can only compare it to Breaking
Bad because Im obsessed with that show but its like getting
a part in that series while youre in the middle of watching
it. I dont want to know how its going to end, I just want to
play my part. I can then sit down at home and have the same
experience as you.
Carice
Van Houten
The real war is coming, she proclaimed;
expect the Wicked Witch of Westeros to
be leading the charge
ITS GREAT NOT TO PLAY THE
WIFE IN THE CASTLE, FEEDING
THE BABY AND WAITING FOR
HER PRINCE TO COME HOME
Stannis is under
Melisandres spell.

MELISANDRE

THE
SCIENCE
OF
WESTEROS
N
O
THREE
BLOODLINE
W
hile nefarious brother and sister
act Jaime and Cersei Lannister are
surreptitiously at it all over the
place, one family that doesnt bother
to hide its incestuous tendencies
is House Targaryen. It wears its inbreeding
with a pride seldom seen outside Norfolk
(okay sorry seldom seen outside a rather
obvious comedy sketch about Norfolk...). The
Targaryens encourage incestuous marriage to
conserve as much of their special blood of the
dragon as possible for their offspring and
who can blame them?
At least some of the time it gives them special
powers: the power of fire resistance, a rapport
with flame-breathing reptiles and super-
fetching, Timotei ad blonde hair. All this has
worked out pretty well so far, at least for Dany.
But what happens when our Royals keep it in
the family? How does all this work in the world
of Gregor Mendel as opposed to the world of
Gregor Clegane?
The problem that arises from breeding
with blood relatives (apart from the inevitable
awkwardness at Christmas) is that this can give
recessive genes a chance to express themselves.
We all inherit two sets of genes, one from each
parent. We can carry all sorts of potentially
harmful recessive genes, passed down from
either our mother or father, with no ill effect
whatsoever, just as long as theyre matched
with a harmless dominant gene from the other
parent. Autosomal recessive disorders such
as sickle cell anaemia or cystic fibrosis occur
when both mother and father pass on the same
recessive gene and the chances of both parents
carrying the same potentially harmful recessive
genes increase significantly when they come
from the same family.
Probably the best documented case of
inbreeding in European royalty occurred in
the 17th century. Charles II of Spain also
known as Charles the Bewitched was the end
product of his familys determination to keep
possession of all their property by marrying
each other. Over a period of 200 years, nine of
the dynastys 11 marriages were between blood
relatives; Charless mother was the niece of his
father, and his grandmother was also his aunt.
Charles himself was beset by health issues,
prematurely aged with difficulty speaking, and
he died, childless, at 38. A record of his post
mortem makes rather grim reading: A very
small heart of the size of a grain of pepper
the intestines putrefactive and gangrenous a
single testicle as black as coal and his head full
of water.
On the flip side, theres evidence that, over
time, inbreeding can actually purge a population
of harmful recessive genes. These bad
genes are way more likely to be expressed, so,
ultimately, the lines of the carriers are more
likely to die off. Following what experts think
was a population bottleneck several thousand
years ago, cheetahs are all closely related but
also have remarkably few genetic illnesses.
However, a lack of genetic variation in a
population can also mean theyre all susceptible
to catching and subsequently dying from the
exact same disease. Individuals simply arent
different enough to be in with a chance of
diversely reacting to disease and surviving.
So, its possible that Robert Baratheon
could have wiped out the Targaryen line most
effectively during the War of the Usurper not
by joining forces with Ned Stark and Tywin
Lannister but instead by infecting them all with
a particularly nasty bout of flu
Charles II of Spain
(the Bewitched)
CHEETAH
(Acinonyx jubatus)
Helen Keen reveals a rather surprising way to wipe
out the overly inbred dragon bloodline

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THE SCIENCE OF BLOODLINE

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Targaryen Royal Blood
(Inbred but still beautiful)
Danys dragon blood
cant save Drogo.
Somehow the inbreeding has avoided
the misshapen heads business.
But hey, the blood must be
kept as pure as possible.
BEYOND THE THRONE
BORN: 1999
FROM: Kent
GREATEST HITS: The Awakening,
Closed Circuit
RANDOM FACT:
Hempstead-Wright may ditch
acting for a career in science.
Id quite like to try new things,
he says. I like particle physics,
which would be interesting.
35
GAME OF THRONES

ISAAC HEMPSTEAD-WRIGHT

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J
ust 10 years old when he initially joined the cast, Isaac
Hempstead-Wright has grown up on the set of Game Of
Thrones. Now 14, hes really started to come into his own
as Bran, the second youngest Stark sibling. Having stoically
accepted his inability to walk, hes gradually getting to grips
with his emerging magical powers and, at the end of season
three, we saw him heading North with his mentor Jojen Reed.
Being on the set of a fantastic fantasy series such as Game
Of Thrones must be every teenagers dream
Its really cool to go into this world with swords, decapitated
heads and skulls everywhere. You could be walking through
the studio and therell be a line of dead bodies to the side of
you that you can go and take pictures of, which is a lot of fun.
You were such a tender age when you first started out on
Game Of Thrones; did you have to be shielded from the
more gory elements?
I was 11, nearly 12, when the first series came out, so too
young to watch any of it. But I did see some of it and then I
gradually watched it all. A lot of the violence is completely
debunked because youll be on set and therell be all these
severed heads and buckets of blood and when you look at a
scene with a beheading, therell be a guy behind the stone
pumping the blood out of a decapitated body. The sex was
a bit more difficult and my mum would give me equally
inappropriate talks.
Bran was crippled after Jaime Lannister threw him off the
top of a castle at the start of season one. How do you cope
with that disability as an actor?
Its pretty much impossible to know how awful it would be
to lose your legs and luckily thats out of my personal sphere
of experience. You just take it as it comes really, you just act
thinking, I cant move. But its completely changed Bran. He
has had to become hugely strong although I think hed have
become just as strong as a result of all the losses hes had: his
family, his home. Its just like another knock on the head kind
of thing, but, you know, whatever doesnt kill you makes you
stronger and for Bran, emotionally, that is especially so.
Bran separated from his younger brother Rickon and the
Wildling Osha at the end of the last series. Does that prove
to be a difficult move for him?
Bran has learnt to deal with loss. He first lost his dad and
for all he knows his sisters are gone as well. Hes also lost
his home and his legs, so loss has become a pretty prevailing
theme in Brans storyline. The thing about losing Osha and
Rickon is that as much as he loves them as kind as Osha
has been to him in terms of being not only a matriarch
but a sister-like figure, and hes always cared for his little
brother the fact that he tells them to go really shows that
there has been a huge step-up in his maturity. He is becoming
the man of the house and the honourable Ned Stark figure
who can say, You know I love you but its for the best.
Isaac
Hempstead-
Wright
Brans had his fair share of heartache
not least being crippled by Jaime but
hes well on his way to becoming a man
WHATEVER DOESNT KILL YOU
MAKES YOU STRONGER AND
FOR BRAN, EMOTIONALLY, THAT
IS ESPECIALLY SO
Brans had it
pretty tough.
BRAN
STARK
BEYOND THE THRONE
BORN: 1980
FROM: Heilbronn, Germany
GREATEST HITS: When We Leave,
Head-On
RANDOM FACT: Kekilli would like
to see Meryl Streep and Al Pacino
play her mother and father in
GOT. Stranger things
37
GAME OF THRONES

SIBEL KEKILLI

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THERES ALWAYS A SECRET IN
HEREYES SO YOURE ALWAYS
ASKING, IS THAT REAL LOVE?
DOES SHE REALLY FEEL IT?
Shaes escaped
her lowly start.
Shae
F
amous in her native Germany for performances in
films such as Head On and When We Leave, Sibel Kekilli
made her first foray into English-language productions
when she landed the role of Shae in the inaugural season
of Game Of Thrones. Starting out as a minor character, the
steely but affectionate prostitute-turned-handmaiden has
melted the heart of her lover Tyrion Lannister, at the same
time as winning over audiences worldwide.
As the seasons have gone on, have you had the opportunity
to expand upon Shaes character?
Ive had a big chance to improve her. But even if she doesnt
have a very big part to play, she still has so many different
qualities to her, such as loyalty, love and honesty. And because
her background story is not the focus, I can create my own
story for her, which I can fill in as I play her. Theres always
a secret in her eyes so youre always asking, Is that real love?
Does she really feel it? or Is she doing good by him or not?
You can never read her like a book.
Game Of Thrones is celebrated for its well-crafted
female characters and, although she is a prostitute, Shae
is no exception
The series is, of course, based on George RR Martins books
but we have some really rare writers in David Benioff and Dan
Weiss who like to write stories like that for women. In most
films and TV series, women are like the cherry on top of an
ice cream. Here they are vulnerable and strong and even if
they are prostitutes, they have power in themselves and they
can be manipulative. I love that, because its not like just black
and white thinking, good and bad. Theyre just as human
beings really are; theyre real people.
Shae has gradually grown closer to Tyrion. What does she
see in him?
The first time she met him it was a job for her, but in their
second scene he opened his heart just a bit when he told
her the story about the love of his life. At that moment, she
saw something in him that the people around him dont see,
which is that hes vulnerable and has a good heart. Something
else that connects him to her is that hes had such a hard life:
his father didnt want him because he wasnt the strong son
Tywin Lannister wanted.
I really think that he loves her. Shes his second real
love. The first was the prostitute hired by Jaime but Shae
is now his real love. Like her, hes also looking for the one
place where he can maybe be himself and be happy, sad and
trusting. There was that scene when he comes back from
Cersei and hes saying to her, Please promise me I am yours
and you are mine. Hes so upset because he thinks Cersei has
found out about Shae. That was one of the warmest scenes
that Ive done as I could feel that this is the real Tyrion and
thats why she believes in him.
Whats Peter Dinklage like to work with?
Hes really witty and hes got this intelligent sense of
humour. And hes really empathetic when he sees you. He
saw me very briefly one day, and when we met again the
next day, he said, Is everything okay with you? You looked
sad. That is also the way he acts he reacts when you act.
He listens to you and he acts with his eyes, which is a really
special thing.
Sibel
Kekilli
Shae is the love of Tyrions life and
according to the actress who plays her, it
goes way beyond favours for money
BEYOND THE THRONE
BORN: 1990
FROM: Southwark, London
GREATEST HITS: Love Actually,
Nowhere Boy, Nanny McPhee
RANDOM FACT: Brodie-Sangster is
Hugh Grants cousin: his
great-grandmother was the
sister of Hughs grandmother.
39
GAME OF THRONES

THOMAS BRODIE-SANGSTER

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IT MAKES YOUR LIFE SO MUCH
EASIER IF YOU REALLY ARE
FREEZING YOUR TITS OFF ON
THE TOP OF A MOUNTAIN
Oshas suspicious
of Jojens motives.
JOJEN
REED
A
n experienced child actor with a range of impressive
credits including the magnificent Doctor Who
two-parter Human Nature and The Family Of
Blood, Thomas Brodie-Sangster is venturing into new
territory with Game Of Thrones. Bringing a slightly sinister
edge to adolescent prophet Jojen Reed, he takes fellow
skinchanger Bran Stark under his wing as they head North.
This is your second season of Game Of Thrones. Are you
feeling more at home now?
I was able to go in knowing to a certain extent what to
expect. I was looking forward to it because I knew people and
was seeing them again. Its the first time Ive actually ever
gone back to a character as normally I finish filming and move
on. Ive never done a sequel or an ongoing TV show before, so
it was really nice to go back to a character and see what else I
could add to it. It did feel different, like an extension of what
we did last year, which it is.
What does season four have in store for Jojen and Bran?
We find out more about why Bran is more important than
perhaps even he knows. Now that weve moved North of the
Wall the stakes are higher because the viewers, and even
Jojen who is able to see glimpses of the future dont quite
know whats out there.
Do we find out more about Jojens enigmatic nature?
That becomes clearer as his relationship with Bran develops.
Jojen came along in season three as a very mysterious and
mystical character. I dont know if Bran was entirely sure
how trustworthy or useful he was. In season four Jojen starts
guiding him, as a kind of guru its like Bran has got used to
that way of him talking. They understand each other better.
Have you read George RR Martins novels?
I havent, and that seems to be the case for most of the cast. It
could be a bit dangerous because when I first joined, I became
aware that my character was meant to be in the previous
season. Something had obviously changed and I arrived in
season three in a very, very different set-up to how it is in the
books. So I decided to just read the scripts and know as much
per season as I needed to know. Anything I didnt know about,
Id ask my girlfriend shes a massive Game Of Thrones fan.
Do the lavish sets help fuel your imagination as an actor?
Its so much better than being on a massive green screen in a
studio. It just makes your life so much easier if you really are
freezing your tits off on the top of a mountain! The sets are
huge but its not really about how big they are, its more the
detail. When you get up close, it still looks real. Theres one
scene where I have to slip a bit and there were these barrels
and branches that looked absolutely genuine but you kick
them and realise that theyre made of foam. The thought that
goes into it is staggering.
Thomas
Brodie-
Sangster
Introduced in season three, Jojen has
become Brans mysterious, supernatural
guru as they journey beyond the Wall
BEYOND THE THRONE
BORN: 1968
FROM: Dublin, Ireland
GREATEST HITS: The Dark Knight
Rises, Queer As Folk, The Wire
RANDOM FACT: Gillen was born
as Aidan Murphy, but adopted
his mothers maiden name for
Equity reasons.
41
GAME OF THRONES

AIDAN GILLEN

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W
ith his penchant for treachery and shifty dealing,
Petyr Littlefinger Baelish doesnt seem a million
miles away from Tommy Carcetti, the ambitious
city councillor Aidan Gillen played in The Wire, another
acclaimed HBO drama. According to Gillen, though, the
ruthless Westeros whore-master is a very different breed of
political animal.
Do you think Littlefinger has much in common with
Tommy Carcetti?
When I first looked at it, I thought, This guys a politician,
but hes not. As Master Of Coin, initially his position within
the Small Council was a political role but then it became
something else. Hes definitely a player and he could have
been a politician but he hasnt turned out to be that. To begin
with, the connection to my character on The Wire was more
obvious and there was probably some through-line there
when I was cast as Petyr Baelish. But they dont really share
the same traits although they are both quite hard to put a
finger on.
And rather than the mean streets of Baltimore, Game Of
Thrones takes place in the mythical landscape of Westeros
There is that, but whats clever about Game Of Thrones is
that although its a fantasy setting, the world its rooted in is
not pure fantasy as such; its really about human experience
and actual events in our history. In some cases, its based on
real people, who are not all that far away in time. There are
real human themes just as you get in war stories like Band
Of Brothers, including loyalty, love, death, revenge, power
and family. That makes it interesting because the audience is
maybe getting more than they would have reckoned on from
the outset. The Lord Of The Rings is an easy comparison to
make but that was based on real stuff as well, whether its
religion or the Second World War.
Its exciting to be part of a series with such massive
scope when you dont know where its going to go next.
Thats fascinating for the actors because they dont know
whats going to happen either. And the characters change as
well you think that you know them and then maybe youre
not so sure.
So where do Littlefingers allegiances currently lie?
As far as allegiances go, hed be reluctant to tie himself too
closely to anything or anyone, knowing that the world of the
show is so turbulent. While he will play as many people as
he can, and glean as much information as he is able, he will
generally be looking way down the road, maybe even to the
next generation.
Season four has been described as more fast paced than
previous series
The seasons have all been different in different ways.
Theres certainly a lot more going on now. The uncertainty
and the turbulence that follows in the wake of the Red
Wedding means that the world is much more unsettled. A lot
of stuff always happened but its not going to be spaced out in
the same way.
After seeing a few seasons, people have started to predict
whats going to happen, saying, Theres always a big event
around episode nine. But it would be irresponsible to
continue conveying things in that way by sticking to set
patterns. You can, of course, read the books but because most
of the first three books have been done now season five will
be shot soon there has to be a little taking something from
here and then another thing from there, and maybe saving
something for later.
Aidan
Gillen
He fed Ros to the lion and declared chaos
his friend; now the power-hungry Baelish
is en route to the Vale of Arryn
ALTHOUGH ITS A FANTASY
SETTING, ITS REALLY ABOUT
HUMAN EXPERIENCE AND
ACTUAL EVENTS IN OUR HISTORY
Always lurking in
the background

LITTLEFINGER

ULTIMATE FANTASY GUIDE
THE
SCIENCE
OF
WESTEROS
N
O
FOUR
REBIRTH
E
xtraordinary advances in modern
medicine in the past 100 years mean that
conditions and diseases that wouldve
been a death sentence for our ancestors
are now preventable or curable for us.
Westeros doesnt enjoy the advantages of
any kind of national health service, but Beric
Dondarrion of the Brotherhood Without
Banners benefits from regular revivification.
Hes brought back to life six times by Red Priest
Thoros of Myr (played by Paul Kaye, aka for
readers of a certain age Dennis Pennis). But
what chance does anyone in the real world have
of living forever/getting over the odd mishap
with a broadsword?
It seems that Thoross prayers wont entirely
fix faulty parts Dondarrions right eye doesnt
return after it has a Lannister dagger stuck into
it, and Dondarrion gradually loses some of his
memory every time hes brought back to life. But
in our world there are animals with regenerative
abilities that make Rhllor the Lord of Light look
like a rank amateur
Salamanders can regrow entire limbs, making
them the most effective vertebrates when it
comes to regeneration and the animal most
likely to be cast as the next Doctor Who. The
key to regenerative powers in real life seems to
be stem cells. Stem cells have a lot in common
with the Faceless Men (apart from, you know,
the being crack assassins part), in that they are
able to transform turning into other types of
cell when necessary. Because of this they can be
used to replace or even heal damaged tissue, it
seems they just need to be told where to go.
THE WORM THAT RETURNED
The flatworm is a favourite test case: some
species can regenerate, others cant and the
hapless invertebrates often end up with their
heads cut off in the name of research. A team
at the Max Planck Institute in Dresden has
discovered that tweaking flatworm genes in
a species that cant normally regenerate can
change how stem cells are marshalled. As a
result, normally non-regenerative tissue was
able to regrow fully functional heads (Ned Stark
would surely be green with envy).
In a peculiar twist, biologists at Tufts
University, Massachusetts trained another
variety of flatworm one usually able to
regenerate body parts to take food from
lighted areas, something that goes against
all their natural wormy instincts. Then they
chopped the worms heads off and waited for a
fortnight for them to grow back. Astonishingly,
the worms retained memories of where to
find food: another win for the real world over
Rhllor. Its not clear how this happens, though
researchers think that memory might be stored
in body cells outside the brain.
If these kinds of medical advances continue,
we really will start to have the edge. To
paraphrase the great Rocky Balboa, in life as in
Game Of Thrones its not how hard you can hit,
its how hard you can get hit... or impaled on
a lance... or stabbed in the eye with a dirk... or
shot with an arrow... or smashed round the head
with a mace and keep moving forward
Helen Keen wonders if Beric Dondarrions amazing ability
to recover from death is actually all that outlandish?
FLAT WORM
(Platyhelminthes )
SALAMANDER
(Caudata)

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THE SCIENCE OF REBIRTH
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Dennis Pennis works
his magic on Beric.
Hes not always resurrected
fully intact, though
What he needs is
some Salamander
blood.
Beric Dondarrion
(Humanus Resurrectus)
B*****ks, thinks Beric.
Here we go again.

5.9
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NUMBER OF ILLEGAL
DOWNLOADS OF THE SEASON
THREE FINALE VIA BITTORRENT
(according to TorrentFreak)
GAME OF THRONES
BY NUMBERS
Statisticians: Jordan Farley & Bridie Roman
Unless otherwise stated numbers refer to the TV show
108 S
E
C
O
N
D
S
LENGTH OF OPENING
TITLE SEQUENCE
18
SINCE GEORGE RR
MARTIN WROTE A
GAME OF THRONES Y
E
A
R
S
ON-SCREEN
DEATHS
*
SEASON 1: 49
SEASON 2: 77
SEASON 3: 61
*THE DEATH BLOW MUST
BE CLEARLY VISIBLE, SO
THE THOUSANDS KILLED
IN BLACKWATER AND
THE VARIOUS BATTLES
DONT COUNT
NUMBER OF
EPISODES
WRITTEN OR
CO-WRITTEN BY
DAVID BENIOFF
AND DB WEISS
21
LENGTH OF
LONGEST EPISODE
(2.10 VALAR MORGHULIS)
LOWEST
RATING
ON HBO
(2.02 THE KINGSROAD) 2.2
1
HR
03
M
24
S
LENGTH OF SHORTEST EPISODE
(2.04 GARDEN OF BONES)
50
M
34
S
M
I
L
L
I
O
N
HIGHEST RATING
ON
HBO
5.5
MILLION
(3.06 THE CLIMB)
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BY NUMBERS
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CHAPTERS IN THE
FIRST FIVE BOOKS
BY CHARACTER
339
TALKING
CHARACTERS
SEASON 1 98
SEASON 2 84
SEASON 3 53
TYRION 47
JON SNOW 42
DAENERYS 31
ARYA 30
CATELYN 25
SANSA 22
BRAN 21
JAIME 17
EDDARD 15
DAVOS 13
CERSEI 12
SAM 10
BRIENNE 8
THEON 7
REEK 3
ALAYNE 2
MELISANDRE 1
235
USES OF
HOUSE
WORDS
NIPPLE
SEVERED
FART
GAG 1
38
TIMES HODOR SAYS
HODOR!
ESSENCE OF
NIGHTSHADE
1 DROP
SOOTHES NERVES
3 DROPS
DEEP, DREAMLESS SLEEP
10 DROPS
DEATH
SEATS IN THE
SANCTUM
AT KINGS
LANDING
700
MILES OF
TUNNELS
UNDERNEATH
KINGS
LANDING 50
INSTANCES OF CHARACTERS SWEARING
*
84
*
F-BOMBS, C-BOMBS AND S-BOMBS ONLY
THE NUMBER
OF TIMES BRONN HAS
BROKEN HIS NOSE 3
28
46

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THE
OF THE
7
0
0
f
t
HEIGHT
WALL
200
9
100
3.5
T
I
M
E
S
NORTH MEN KILLED AT
HARRENHAL
(OFF CAMERA)
THE NUMBER OF CRASTERS
INCESTUOUS SONS
YGRITTE SAYS
YOU
KNOW NOTHING
JON SNOW
*
*
ONE INSTANCE GETS CUT
SHORT WHEN JON PROVES
HE KNOWS SOMETHING
YEARS
THE LENGTH OF TIME THE
LATEST SUMMER HAS LASTED
SIZE OF ARMIES
BARATHEON (RENLY) 100,000
LANNISTER 60,000
KHAL DROGOS KHALASAR 40,000
STARK 20,000
ASTAPOR UNSULLIED 8,000
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SEX
SCENES
4
NUMBER OF ARROWS IT
TAKES TO LIGHT HOSTER
TULLYS FUNERAL BOAT
LANNISTER 4
BARATHEON 4
STARK 3
TARGARYEN 3
GREYJOY 2
TYRELL 2
19
NIGHTS
WATCH
CASTLES ON THE WALL, ONLY THREE MANNED
(CASTLE BLACK, EAST WATCH BY THE SEA AND THE SHADOW TOWER)
23
THE NUMBER OF TIMES
JON SNOW IS CALLED/
CALLS HIMSELF A
BASTARD
THE NUMBER OF
TIMES A KING
IN THE NORTH
HAS FAILED TO
INVADE
*ONE UNFORTUNATE
FELLOW ONLY LOSES
THE TOP OF
HIS HEAD
IN BLACKWATER
AND YES,THAT DOES
INCLUDE THE HORSE
8.5
6
DECAPITATIONS*
THE
NUMBER OF TIMES
JOFFREY IS
SLAPPED
5
NUMBER OF
WOMEN WHO
CAN PERFORM
A MEEREENESE
KNOT
4
STANNIS SAYS
MY FORCES
OUTNUMBER THE
LANNISTERS!
SHIPS
10:1
ARMY
5:1
60
KHALEESI
INSTANCES
OF DAENERYS
BEING CALLED
1,800 MOUNTED LANCES
12,000 INFANTRY MEN
1 MILLION BUSHELS OF WHEAT
500,000 (EACH) OF BARLEY, OATS AND RYE
20,000 CATTLE
50,000 SHEEP
200,000 SLAVES IN YUNKAI
THE TYRELLS GAVE THE LANNISTERS
6,000,000
THE DEBT THE BARATHEON
REGIME OWED IN
GOLD DRAGONS
IN SEASON ONE. BY SEASON
THREE THE LANNISTERS
OWED THE IRON BANK OF
BRAAVOS TENS OF MILLIONS
OF GOLD DRAGONS
THE
CULTURE
SHOW
Game Of Thrones extraordinary success has
sent ripples through the rest of pop culture,
as Will Salmon discovers
T
here comes a point in a hit
TV shows life where it goes
beyond being merely the latest
fad nattered about around the
watercooler (though honestly,
does anyone ever really do that?), and
becomes something greater: a phenomenon.
Suddenly its being mentioned on the
news, in sports games and parodied on The
Simpsons. That cool cult show youve been
watching has gone mainstream.
Game Of Thrones hit that point very
quickly. Its one of the biggest shows on
TV right now. In terms of genre, only The
Walking Dead eclipses it in viewing figures.
Mhysa, the season three finale, gained
ratings of 5.4 million in the US astonishing
figures for the subscription-based HBO, and
a 28 per cent increase on the previous year.
DVD and blu-rays of the second season sold
more than 241,000 copies in one day in the
UK and thats despite the fact that it is the
worlds most pirated TV show.
Its no surprise then that people have
been dropping references and jokes about
it into their own shows. From parodies and
homages on your telly box to online skits,
Game Of Thrones is so hot right now.
49
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IN POPULAR CULTURE

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SPRINGFIELD IS COMING
The king of this sort of thing is, of course, The
Simpsons. No show can truly claim to have
made it until its been referenced by Homer
and the gang. The perennially its-not-as-
good-as-it-was animation did a pitch perfect
spoof of the Thrones opening titles for The
Ten-Per-Cent-Solution in its 23rd season.
The other great long-running satirical
toon, South Park, went several steps further.
In Cartman Finds Love, Mr Mackey gave
a sterling presentation to his class about the
complexities of Westeros genealogy. That was
followed up with an entire trilogy of episodes
that riffed on the show. In Black Friday,
A Song Of Ass And Fire (ysee what they
did there?) and Titties And Dragons, Kyle,
Cartman, Kenny and the gang are desperate
to get their hands on an Xbox One (Winter
is coming... and the next gen gaming devices
are hitting the shelves) and must face the
terrifying US cultural apocalypse that is the
Black Friday sales. A wienerobsessed
GRRM makes an appearance we should
stress here not actually played by George
himself and the Mall security act like
members of the Nights Watch. As ever with
South Park, its both well-observed and as
crass as humanly possible. Thrones has also
featured in a short scene on the culty Adult
Swim cartoon, Venture Bros, when The
Monarch and Dr Girlfriend engage in a bit of
Drogo/Khaleesi-style roleplay. Yikes.
It isnt just cartoons that have got in on the
action. Sitcoms are falling over themselves to
include references to the show. 30 Rock snuck
an early one in, when a pervy IT billionaire
referred to Liz Lemon as Khaleesi. She looked
distinctly creeped out, but in another episode
AS EVER WITH SOUTH PARK, ITS
BOTH WELL-OBSERVED AND AS
CRASS AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE
Hope the book says
more than Hodor.
South Park does the
battle of, er, Black Friday.

made a list of tasks for her boyfriend Criss to
do one of which was to call her that. Fickle,
Lemon. Theres also a cute little moment
where a startled Grizz is reading the first
book and hits the scene where poor old Ned
loses his head...
Parks And Recreation has made a habit
of sneaking the show into episodes. In one
episode, dim-witted Andy (Chris Pratt, soon
to be seen as Star-Lord in Guardians Of The
Galaxy) listed a number of alternative places
to live, including New Caprica (from Battlestar
Galactica) and Winterfell. In season fours
Pawnee Rangers, a peeved Ben gripes They
would never cancel Game Of Thrones its
a crossover hit! when colleague Donna
tries to goad him. And then they did it again
when Tall Tyrion Lannister outbid Anne
on eBay, prompting much confusion and an
appreciative discussion of Dothraki physique
from Donna. If youre not already on the Parks
And Rec train, incidentally, you need to jump
on post-haste its excellent.
The US version of The Office is that rarest of
things a decent remake. Indeed, at this point
its probably got a stronger fan following than
the UK original. You wanna learn a really
impressive second language? asked Dwight
in Andys Ancestry. Try Dothraki. He then
convinces a girl to speak the language of the
burly horse lords.
The amount of sex and nudity in Game Of
Thrones has certainly not gone unnoticed. US
TV institution Saturday Night Live poked fun
YOU WANNA LEARN A REALLY
IMPRESSIVE SECOND LANGUAGE?
TRY DOTHRAKI
Valyrian steel in The
Big Bang Theory.
Oh my God! Ned
Stark is dead?!
Bloodlines Of
Conquest in
Community.
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GEORGE GETS
IN ON THE GAME
No author is free of influences, and George RR
Martin has always been very vocal about his. A
Song Of Ice And Fire is littered with references
to other writers and novels that hes enjoyed.
Robert Jordan best known for his Wheel Of
Time series is clearly a favourite of GRRMs.
The author, who was frequently published by
Tor, is name-checked as Lord Trebor Jordayne
of the Tor in A Storm Of Swords, while
Archmaester Rigney (who theorises that time
is a wheel...) takes his name from Jordans birth
name: Oliver Rigney Jr.
Horror icon HP Lovecraft gets several
nods. Dagon Greyjoy takes his forename from
the Lovecraft story of the same title, and the
city of KDath in Essos is named after The
Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath.
House Costayne is named for historical
author Thomas Costain, and the houses coat
of arms a silver chalice and a rose is a direct
reference to his novel, The Silver Chalice.
On a similar note, House Vance is a reference
to Martins favourite writer, the great Jack Vance.
There are several nods to Vances work in A
Song Of Ice And Fire, including Ronald The Bad
(after Vances novel Bad Ronald) and the fact
that the house arms show dragons, in honour of
the authors novel, The Dragon Masters.
But of course the most obvious is Samwell
Tarly the plucky member of the Nights Watch,
who is a clear descendent of JRR Tolkiens
Samwise Gamgee.
Samwise & Samwell:
cut of the same cloth.
at it in a sketch that suggested that one of the
shows staff was actually a 13-year-old boy. It
followed it up later with Game Of Game Of
Thrones a parody game show where three
Thrones-fans did great at answering questions
on their favourite fantasy show, but had
trouble with basic, real-world queries. Not
SNLs finest moment, but it raises a smile.
Then, of course, theres Community. This
show, beloved of SFX, has genre homages at
the heart of its DNA. In many ways it feels
like the US answer to Spaced. So of course
GOT is on its radar. Unfortunately, it fell
during the shows weak fourth season (the
gas leak year as it has since become known
in-show). During the wonky Alternative
History Of The German Invasion episode,
Troy shows his disdain for studying by
quipping I dont get history. If I wanted
to know what happened in Europe a long
time ago Id watch Game Of Thrones. More
recently, season 5s Analysis Of Cork-Based
Networking hinged around Bloodlines
Of Conquest a (mythical) long-running
series of fantasy books (that really get the
incest right) and its TV adaptation.
There are many more. New Girl
name-checked Winterfell. Chuck dropped
in a quick reference to the first novel
(Eddard you dont let your kids keep a
direwolf thats a terrible idea!). And the
long-running laughter graveyard that is The
Big Bang Theory also turned its jaundiced
eye towards the show. In the episode The
Russian Rocket Reaction, Sheldon and
Leonard pick up a replica of Jon Snows
sword, Longclaw.
BUT SERIOUSLY, FOLKS
Of course, we expect this sort of thing from
comedies. But dramas are doing it too.
Louis Litt from Suits the US hit about a
law firm made a point of helping another
colleague, quipping I always pay my debts.
Im a Lannister. Mystery series Castle also
got in on the action, with the titular crime-
solving mystery novelist noting that a sword
being used as a murder weapon is so Game
Norway gives it some
Khaleesi at Eurovision.
Winterfell tops Andys
list of places to live in
Parks And Recreation.
A game of swords
in Castle.

Of Thrones. Richard Castle is played by
beloved genre thesp and fan Nathan Fillion,
and hearing him say those words raises a bit
of a smile.
You might not think that the sports world is
teeming with Game Of Thrones fans, but youd
be wrong. An American football commentator
snuck a reference into an Illinois vs Western
Michigan game, noting that an intersection
(no, weve no idea either) from Alex Carter
cuts like Valyrian steel, much to his
colleagues obvious bemusement. It wasnt a
one-off a commentator on a different game
noted that Randall Dunn... falls right into the
Vale of Arryn as the man in question took a
tumble. Basketball team, the Sacramento Kings
have an entire Thrones-themed opening video
that recalls the Nights Watch. Then there was
a commentator on TSN (The Sports Network)
who pointed out that an audience member
during an ice-hockey game looked a bit like
Varys. Were assuming thats because he was
bald, and not because he knew something
intimate about him
During the 2013 Eurovision heats on BBC
Three, commentator (and Scissor Sister)
A Drogo/Drago
mix-up in
Venture Bros.
Can Eddie save
the theme park?
A game of Game
Of Thrones.
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Ana Matronic referred to Norways singer,
Margeret Berger, as giving it some Khaleesi.
She wasnt far wrong; Berger may as well have
been cosplaying.
HACK AND SLASH FICTION
One of the truly great things about a beloved
show like Game Of Thrones is how much
creativity it inspires in its fans. In the olden
days that meant making fan films and writing
up terrifyingly detailed sexual encounters
between your favourite characters, but
these days it encompasses so much more
especially when it comes from fans who know
their way around a copy of Final Cut Pro.
The clever folk at Bad Lip Reading take
footage from hit shows and films and re-dub
them to hilarious effect. Their version of The
Walking Dead was one of the funniest things
online last year (La-bibbida-bibba-dum!)
and their Thrones effort is almost as good.
Medieval Land Fun-Time World reimagines
the show as a comedy set in a preposterous
historical theme park. Tyrion becomes
Terry, a jive-talking dealer; Jaime is a creepy
whispering weirdo, while everybody still hates
JoJo sorry, Joffrey.
Genius satirical site The Onion has featured
the show several times, with spoof news
stories such as Game Of Thrones Season
Three Opens With Every Character Getting
Fingered While Discussing Arrival Of
Winter and a think piece supposedly by
GRRM about the Red Wedding entitled, Oh
Shit, I Totally Forgot That Happens! The
UKs equivalent, The Daily Mash has run a few
too, including the frankly worrying Game
Of Thrones All Just A Dream. Now now,
Georged never do that to us would he?
Fans of vintage videogames were treated to
collegehumor.coms mighty Game Of Thrones
RPG, which reimagined the show in a Legend
Of Zelda style, complete with primitive SNES
graphics. Seasons one and two have been
recreated, with famous scenes reimagined as
different level types. Neds quest to discover
Joffreys true parentage is realised as a
classic puzzle game, and theres a very funny
adventure game sequence with Jaime shagging
Cersei (A wild BRAN spotted your incest).
And if thats whetted your appetite, theres
an excellent fan-made Thrones side-scrolling
platformer available to download.
There are a host of other mashups out there.
You can find the series recut as a 90s network
drama (all VHS distortion and weird smiles
in the title sequence); School Of Thrones (a
faintly grating, if well produced, John Hughes
homage with a great title sequence); the show
as a romantic comedy (Carley Rae Jepsen on
the soundtrack, pink fonts) and many, many
more, some funny, some appalling. And thats
before you get to the myriad Tumblrs, such as
30 Thrones (mixing 30 Rock quotes with GOT
screencaps), Thrones And Recreation (take a
guess) and so on.
So Game Of Thrones fans are creative, and
they get everywhere. And thats all well and
good, but sometimes just sometimes things
get a little weird. Take, for instance, Kings
Langley the small Hertfordshire town that
renamed itself Kings Landing in February
of this year to much public fanfare. Okay, so
it was a publicity stunt to promote the launch
of the season three DVD, and the town will
only be called that for a week, but that sort
of thing never happened for Doc Martin or
Midsomer Murders.
Weirder still was the flurry of babies
who have been named Khaleesi (146 in
the US according to The Baby Name Wizard
blog) by parents who are surely keen for their
kids to be picked on at school. And thats
despite the fact that its not even a name its
an honorific.
A STORM OF SMUT
And of course, finally, theres the porn.
If theres one certainty in life its that if
something is popular, then someone will
make an adult version of it. And so it goes
with the inevitably named Game Of Bones
(personally we prefer South Parks Song
Of Ass And Fire). Subtitled Winter Is
Cumming, this hardcore version features
several well-known characters going at it,
and an Iron Throne made out of dildos. So
were told. A rival film, the confusingly titled
This Aint Game Of Thrones XXX is also
cumming sorry, coming soon.
And so we approach season four and the
show is in the publics consciousness more
than ever. The heartening thing about all
of this is how funny and affectionate all of
these references are (okay, maybe not so
much the porn). Its a tribute to the quality
of A Song Of Ice And Fire and the amazing
television series that it inspired, and long may
it continue.
WEIRDER STILL WAS THE
FLURRY OF BABIES WHO HAVE
BEEN NAMED KHALEESI
Zelda-style RPG.
With boobs!

SEASON 2, EPISODE 2
THE NIGHT LANDS
SEASON 3, EPISODE 2
DARK WINGS, DARK WORDS 29 30
Writers: David Benioff & DB Weiss
Director: Alan Taylor
Run Time: 54 minutes
The one where: Theon returns to Pyke
What is it with this show and incest? First it was the Targaryens, who wed
brother to sister for hundreds of years. Then Jaime and Cersei, and Craster
has been at it north of the Wall for god knows how long. Now its Theon and
his sister Yara (or Asha, to book readers). So Theon didnt recognise her,
thats hardly an excuse for fondling a strange woman while riding a horse.
His groping and sense of entitlement disgust his Ironborn family. In Kings
Landing Tyrion exiles the commander of the City Watch, Janos Slynt, to
serve the Nights Watch (hes bound to reappear in season four). Dany vows
she will have vengeance for her slain bloodrider Rakharo.
Writer: Vanessa Taylor
Director: Daniel Minahan
The one where: Jaime gets captured
Again. For one of the most renowned swordsmen in Westeros Jaime sure
is stupid. Bantering with Brienne provides some great scenes for the viewer,
but surely he should have just shut up until they got to Kings Landing?
Instead he fights the lady of Tarth until they are captured by Roose Boltons
bannermen. Thats the third time Jaime has been taken prisoner; its like
hes trying to set a record. Sansa comes face to face with Olenna Tyrell,
who gives her lemon cakes in return for the truth about Joffrey. Arya and
co meet the Brotherhood without Banners. Theons torture is only just
beginning. Margaery fondles Joffreys crossbow.
A slice of cake and
Sansa crumbles.
Wrong, Theon.
Just plain wrong.
We asked visitors to SFX.co.uk to name their three favourite Game Of
Thrones episodes. Thousands of you voted, and from those votes we
have crafted this Top 30, from worst (or more charitably, least loved) to
best. There are a few surprises along the way; you lot clearly liked The
Climb a lot more than many internet pundits did and season twos
premiere came shockingly low (thank God, you kept watching!). But we
dont think many people will argue with the top three
ALL 30 EPISODES OF GAME OF THRONES SO FAR,
IN ORDER OF HOW YOU RANKED THEM
THE PATH
THRONE
TO THE
55
GAME OF THRONES

30 EPISODES RANKED & RATED

SFX

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SEASON 2, EPISODE 1
THE NORTH REMEMBERS
SEASON 1, EPISODE 3
LORD SNOW
SEASON 2, EPISODE 4
GARDEN OF BONES
28
27 26
The one where: Tyrion becomes acting Hand
Arriving in Kings Landing in time for Joffreys name day Tyrion quickly
settles into the role of acting Hand. On Dragonstone Stannis declares
himself the true heir to the Iron Throne and sets his sword on fire, while
the red priestess Melisandre declares him as the Lord of Lights chosen one.
Robb sends his peace terms to Kings Landing, and Cersei demonstrates for
the second time that she is skilled in the art of paper tearing. The young
wolf also sends out his mother and Theon in search of allies; his first big
mistake. The Nights Watch pay a visit to Crasters Keep, where a lecherous
old Wildling lives with his daughter-wives.
Director: Brian Kirk
The one where: Daenerys finds out she is pregnant
As soon as its announced that the Khaleesi has a bun in the oven Ser Jorah
mysteriously disappears to Qohor, but lets gloss over that like everyone
else did (honestly, was no one even a little suspicious?). Back in Westeros
Catelyn hides out in Littlefingers brothel like some back alley sally, while
Ned learns that the throne is massively in debt and his daughter wants to
stab things. On the Wall Jon finds out that hes not exactly making friends
with his new brothers, which is hardly surprising given how well he fights.
But Tyrion saves the day by humbling Jon into teaching them, and then
pisses off the Wall because well, who wouldnt?
Director: David Petrarca
The one where: Melisandre gives birth to the smoke monster from Lost
Over in Kings Landing Cersei is trying to replace her brother with
her cousin, which works to Tyrions advantage, since hes not above
blackmailing his kin. After saving Sansa from a beating the Imp wonders
why his nephew is so messed up (answer: its probably something to do with
his mushy inbred brain). As he and Bronn discuss how to put the King in
a better mood Bronn has one of his greatest moments, as he declares that
theres no cure for being a [c-word]. Bronns right of course, and Joffrey
certainly earns that moniker as he has Ros savagely beat another prostitute
for his own amusement.
Crikey, Grey
Wind got big.
The Little and Large
of Westeros.
So is it a boy or
a girl?!
Joffrey finds fun in
strange places.
Littlenger lurks like only
Littlenger can.

SEASON 2, EPISODE 7
A MAN WITHOUT HONOR
SEASON 2, EPISODE 3
WHAT IS DEAD MAY NEVER DIE
SEASON 1, EPISODE 2
THE KINGSROAD
SEASON 2, EPISODE 6
THE OLD GODS AND THE NEW
25 23
24 22
Cersei tries sincere.
Cersei fails.
Dont mess
with Brienne.
The house guests
from hell.
A million viewers
rejoice.
Director: David Nutter
The one where: Sansa becomes a woman
Sansa wakes up to discover she has been bleeding. Her first period means
she can now marry Joffrey (as if periods arent bad enough) and though her
and Shae try to hide it, the Hound finds her blood-stained bed and informs
the Queen. Poor Sansa has to have the youre a woman now chat with
possibly the least sympathetic female in all the seven kingdoms. Someone
get the girl a lemon cake! Up in the North the youngest Stark siblings are
also having a bad time, but manage to escape Theon, who burns two orphan
boys and passes them off as Bran and Rickon. Catelyn frees Jaime and sends
him back to the capital with Brienne.
Writer: Bryan Cogman
Director: Alik Sakharov
The one where: Tyrion plays games with the Small Council
The Imp outwits the entire Small Council by telling each member a
different story about his plans for Myrcellas wedding. When Cersei
confronts him about marrying her off to the Martells, Tyrion realises that
Grand Maester Pycelle is the leak, and has him sent to the dungeons. In
the Stormlands Renly has mustered his army and wed Margaery Tyrell.
Unfortunately for Renly thats the wrong Tyrell hed rather be plucking
a different rose. On the Kings Road Arya and the Nights Watch come
under attack from Lannister men. Yoren goes down fighting, and he takes a
handful of Lannister soldiers with him.
Director: Tim Van Patten
The one where: Joffers gets slapped for the first time and Catelyn plays CSI
In the North the Starks are reeling from Brans injury, and the Lannisters
are clearly up to something. But still, the King must return to the capital
and he needs his Hand with him. On the road Arya acts out against her
future brother-in-law and smacks the smarmy bastard (isnt Arya ace?).
Joffrey does what he does best and lies through his teeth which results
in Lady, Sansas direwolf, being killed. Across the Narrow Sea Dany is
given instructions on pleasing her Khal, and Viserys is already growing
impatient. Jon discovers that the Nights Watch is the dumping ground for
Westeross criminals.
The one where: Someone throws dung at Joffers
After saying goodbye to Mycella, who is being shipped off to Dorne for
marriage, the royal procession makes its way through Kings Landing. In
the streets Joffrey gets some dung thrown at his nasty little face. One thing
leads to another and before you know it the city is rioting. Sansa is saved by
the Hound from being raped and Joffrey gets slapped by Tyrion again. Its
a good episode for Joffrey haters (which is everyone). Beyond the Wall Jon
takes a prisoner and has his vows tested. Meanwhile his brother Robb is also
getting flirtatious and struggles to keep his own vow to Walder Frey. Dany
discovers the theft of her dragons.
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SEASON 3, EPISODE 1
VALAR DOHAERIS
SEASON 1, EPISODE 5
THE WOLF AND THE LION
SEASON 2, EPISODE 8
THE PRINCE OF WINTERFELL
20
19 21
Dominic West was offered
the role of Mance. Fact.
Talisa was determined
not to blink rst.
Stop looking at
her arse, Robb.
Brienne and Jaime
make like a tree.
Danger lurks around
every dark corner.
The one where: Dany is saved from a second assassination attempt
Dany arrives in Astapor to view its slave army, the Unsullied. In a
demonstration of their obedience and fortitude the slave master slices off
an Unsullied nipple. On the docks the warlocks send an assassin after the
Khaleesi, but she is saved by Ser Barristan Selmy. Jon comes face-to-face
with the King Beyond the Wall, and expresses his desire to fight for the
living. Davos returns to Dragonstone to find his King apathetic towards his
suffering and grief, which enrages the Onion Knight. Tywin is back to being
horrible to Tyrion, denying him rule over Casterly Rock despite his valiant
efforts to save the city.
The one where: Robert and Ned fall out
Remember how Jorah snuck off when Dany got pregnant? Well turns out
he was selling secrets to Varys. Hes since stopped being disloyal (mostly
because he fancies her) but that doesnt stop the secrets hes already sold
getting back to Robert, who demands that Ned organise Danys assassination.
This tweaks the honourable Starks nose, and Ned quits. Without the
protections given to him as Hand of the King, Ned is open to an attack from
an angry Jaime (the only Lannister that likes Tyrion). Jaime slays dear
old Jory Cassel with a knife through the eye, then battles Ned until the
Northman is put down with a spear to the knee [insert Skyrim pun here].
The one where: Arya and co escape Harrenhal
Aided by Jaqen Hgar, Arya, Gendry and Hot Pie (Hot Pie!) escape the
castle in the hopes of getting to her brother. Robb himself is busy courting
Talisa, dealing with his mothers betrayal and making more terrible
decisions. Qhorin Halfhand gives Jon his last command: to defect from the
Nights Watch and find out Mance Rayders plans. To make the deception
convincing Qhorin starts picking fights with Jon. In the crypts below
Winterfell Osha, Hodor, Bran and Rickon hide from Theons Ironborn. Ser
Davos recounts the adventures which led to him earning the title of Onion
Knight. The capital prepares for war.

SEASON 3, EPISODE 3
WALK OF PUNISHMENT
SEASON 2, EPISODE 5
THE GHOST OF HARRENHAL
SEASON 1, EPISODE 7
YOU WIN OR YOU DIE
17
16 18
Enjoy it while
you can, Jaime.
Ikea you say. Do
they do it in red?
Director: David Benioff
The one where: Jaime loses his hand
The Kingslayer sweet-talks Brienne out of being raped and straight into
having his sword hand chopped off. Theon escapes his captors thanks
to a mysterious cleaning boy. Dany makes the decision to buy all 8,000 of
the Unsullied using Drogon (the biggest of her dragons) as payment. Slaver
Kraznys bad-mouths the Khaleesi in High Valyrian, which is much funnier
when you know that she speaks High Valyrian too. Tyrion discovers the
crown is massively in debt, not only to his father but also to the Iron Bank of
Braavos. If the crown doesnt make their payments the kingdoms could go
into foreclosure (or at least have their enemies funded by the bank).
Director: David Petrarca
The one where: A man gives a girl three lives
A girl encounters Jaqen Hgar, who tells a girl she saved three lives and so
a man will give her three lives. All a girl must do is say a name and a man
will kill for her Meanwhile Theon becomes captain of the Sea Bitch,
and is encouraged to ignore plans to raid villages; instead he plots to take
Winterfell. Bran dreams of the sea coming to Winterfell and drowning many
of the people there, including Ser Rodrik. Of course everyone ignores that
ominous warning because the people of Westeros never listen to prophecies
or symbolism. Tyrion prepares for the upcoming battle, and is shown the
citys supply of volatile wildfire.
The one where: The series got its title
Ned confronts Cersei about her twincestuous bastards. Cersei politely
threatens Ned, telling him in the game of thrones, you win or you die.
Unfortunately Ned isnt very good at this game (he doesnt seem to know
the rules, or rather he sticks to the rules too often). Meanwhile, Jon and
Sam take the Black, saying their vows to serve the Nights Watch. In Tywin
Lannisters first scene he makes Jaime look like a silly boy, while skinning
a stag (ooh symbolism!). Tywin is ruthless, on that we can all agree, but you
have to admit hes a man to admire. An assassination attempt on Dany gives
Drogo a reason to fight for her Iron Chair.
I told you winter
was coming
Yep, thats the
spot. Right there.
Poisoned wine?
Jorahs not fooled.
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Not sure who looks
more horried
Events at the Wall
take a sinister turn.
SEASON 3, EPISODE 6
THE CLIMB
SEASON 3, EPISODE 7
THE BEAR AND THE MAIDEN FAIR
SEASON 3, EPISODE 8
SECOND SONS
SEASON 1, EPISODE 8
THE POINTY END
15 13
14 12
Could be an event at the
Winter Olympics.
The bears real
name is Bart. Fact.
Director: Alik Sakharov
The one where: Robb makes another bargain with Walder Frey
Its surprising that Robb thinks his Uncle Edmure (who cant fire a bow very
well and doesnt really follow orders) is an equal replacement for himself.
But hey, Robb hasnt lost a battle yet, so surely he knows what will please
Lord Frey, right? Right? The Brotherhood turns Gendry over to Melisandre
and boy is Arya pissed. Melisandre predicts that they will meet again
someday will this be something we see in later books? It hasnt happened
yet Jon and Ygritte climb the Wall with only a slight bit of difficulty. You
have to wonder if that massive crack they made will undermine its overall
structural integrity, they did manage to rip out a fairly sizeable chunk.
Writer: George RR Martin
Director: Michelle MacLaren
The one where: Jaime rescues the maiden fair
Jaime gets a bit of a bad rap, really. Sure he pushed a small boy out of a
window and hes been carrying on an incestuous relationship with his sister.
Oh, and there was that time he killed the King he was sworn to protect. And
he stabbed Jory in the eye. But hes a good guy deep down! This episode
he proves it by jumping into a bear pit, unarmed, to save Brienne. Theon
loses his best friend and everyone watching crosses their legs and winces.
Daenerys arrives at Yunkai and meets with an envoy who tries to bribe her
into leaving. But why accept bribes when you have three dragons and an
army of 8,000 Unsullied?
Writer: David Benioff & DB Weiss
Director: Michelle MacLaren
The one where: Melisandres bedroom antics cross the line
After teasing Gendry Melisandre puts leeches there. If that boys not
going to be scarred for life then the Mountain is a fluffy kitten who
likes cuddles. Wedding bells are ringing at Kings Landing for Tyrion
and Sansa and for once its not too lively an affair, except for the Imp
threatening to castrate the King. Sam and Gilly continue their journey to the
Wall and discover the importance of the dragonglass daggers. Heres hoping
Sam gets called Sam the Slayer next season. Daario Naharis conducts a
violent takeover of his mercenary army and pledges the Second Sons to
Daeneryss service.
The one where: Drogo fights his final battle
The Khalasaar go pillaging to earn the gold needed for their invasion.
During a fight Drogo is wounded and Dany requests a captive from the
village, Mirri Maz Duur, heal him. At the Wall cold winds are rising and
so are the dead. But Jon and Ghost (who we really dont see enough of )
manage to save the Lord Commander from the Wights. Down in Kings
Landing Ned is taken prisoner, but Arya has time to escape thanks to
her dancing master Syrio Forel, who holds off four armed knights with a
wooden sword. Robb calls his bannermen and marches to war. Tyrion makes
friends with the hill tribes.

SEASON 3, EPISODE 5
KISSED BY FIRE
SEASON 1, EPISODE 4
CRIPPLES, BASTARDS AND
BROKEN THINGS
SEASON 3, EPISODE 10
MHYSA
11
10 09
The man with
many lives.
Poor Shae. Love
thwarted.
Poor Theon. Taunted
with a sausage.
Hands up who
loves Dany!
The Imp gures
hes cornered.
Director: Alex Graves
The one where: Jon gives Ygritte the Lords Kiss
Turns out Jon Snow does know something, and that something is pleasing
the ladies. In the Riverlands, the Hound faces Beric Dondarrion in a trial
by combat. Dondarrion sets his sword on fire, which is a cheap trick, but
the Hound still ends up slicing the Lightning Lord almost in half (alright,
theres a slight bias for the Hound here. Hes an alright kinda guy!). Luckily
for Dondarrion he is blessed by Rhllor, and brought back to life. Robb does
things the old way and personally chops of Lord Karstarks head for treason;
Ned would be proud. The Tyrells have their schemes scuppered when
Tywin announces he will marry Tyrion to Sansa, and Cersei to Ser Loras.
The one where: Samwell gets a warm reception at Castle Black
Lord Piggy, as they call him in the books, is very out of place among the
Nights Watch, but Jon convinces his new brothers to accept their newest
recruit. Tyrions journey home begins with him gifting Bran the blueprints
for a saddle that will help him ride despite his crippled legs. But Tyrions
travels are interrupted by Catelyn, who takes the Imp prisoner. In the
capital, Littlefinger starts creeping on Sansa during a very eventful tourney.
Viserys hits his sister, but she finds her own fire and tells him the next time
he raises a hand to her will be the last time he has hands.
The one where: Dany frees the slaves of Yunkai
With the help of Daario Naharis, Jorah and Grey Worm Dany has liberated
the city of Yunkai. The Mother of Dragons very quickly becomes The
Mother of Thousands of Hungry Freedmen, but she seems happy. The news
of the Red Wedding ruins the growing affection between Sansa and Tyrion.
Tywin sends Joffers to bed with no dinner, but it might be too little too late
when it comes to disciplining the boy. Sandor and Arya flee the harrowing
scenes at the Twins, and you can tell that its the beginning of a beautiful
friendship. Stannis is convinced he must go north. Yara decides to save
Theon (again, too little too late).
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SEASON 1, EPISODE 6
A GOLDEN CROWN
VALAR MORGHULIS
SEASON 1, EPISODE 1
WINTER IS COMING
08
07 06
That Viserys. He
had it coming.
A gruesome
discovery.
Doesnt Jaime
look young?
So, do you come
here often?
Smoking is bad
for you, kids.
Writers: Jane Espenson, David Benioff & DB Weiss
The one where: Viserys gets his golden crown
Danys brother takes it a little too far this episode, charging into Drogos
celebrations brandishing a sword and threatening the Khaleesi. All he
wants is the crown, and in one of Game Of Thrones most iconic scenes,
Drogo is happy to oblige. You almost feel sorry for Viserys when the molten
gold pours down his face. Up in Winterfell, Bran takes his first ride on the
new saddle and is ambushed by Wildlings. In the capital Ned sets Beric
Dondarrion out on his quest to bring down Gregor The Mountain Clegane
and figures out that Joffrey and his siblings are the bastard children of the
Lannister twins.
The one where: Winterfell burns
Theon gives a very rousing speech to his small band of Ironborn, in the
hopes that they will want to go out fighting against whoever is besieging
Winterfell. He is betrayed however, and the gates to Winterfell are opened
to Roose Boltons bastard. The battle is over in Kings Landing but the Game
continues. Arya is given a coin by Jaqen, and told to use it and the words
Valar morghulis (all men must die) in order to find him again, before he
changes his face and leaves her company. Dany unleashes her dragons fiery
wrath against the warlocks of Qarth. Sam comes face to face with the vast
undead horde of the White Walkers.
Director: Tim Van Patten
The one where: We get introduced to the world of Westeros in all its brutal glory
On the way back from a beheading the Stark boys stumble across a dead
stag and a direwolf with fatal antler wounds. You could say this is a
dire warning [Sorry Ed]. Ned is named Hand of the King; the Starks,
Baratheons and Lannisters party in Winterfell and then Bran gets
hurled out of a window for witnessing a sordid royal affair. Across the
Narrow Sea the Targaryens are planning Danys wedding and Viserys is
being his creepy old self. Magic creatures, death, beheadings, twincestuous
sex and attempted child murder. Its a good introduction to the overall tone
of the series.

FIRE AND BLOOD
SEASON 1, EPISODE 9
BAELOR
SEASON 3, EPISODE 4
AND NOW HIS WATCH IS ENDED
04
03 05
Drogo splutters
his last breath.
Fear not, young
dragon
Dany has a
plan.
Cerseis met her
match in Olenna.
GOTs rst really
big shocker.
The one where: Unspeakably horrible things happen
It was a clever trick, sticking Eddard prominently on the advertising,
making it look like he would live forever. But casting Sean Bean should
have tipped everyone off about his fate the mans a walking spoiler! Neds
sense of honour is what got him killed, but Joffreys monstrous nature is
to blame too even Cersei was shocked at his actions. Robb takes an oath
that he really should have stuck to and Tyrion meets Shae, the funny whore.
Meanwhile, Drogos wounds take their toll and he falls from his horse,
becoming unfit to lead the Khalasaar. In a last-ditch attempt to save him
Dany uses blood magic and learns the lesson that only death can pay for life.
Director: Alex Graves
The one where: Dany builds her army
Fire and blood are the words of house Targaryen, and Dany certainly starts
living up to that mantra this episode. She sells her biggest dragon for 8,000
Unsullied, only to tell the masters that dragons are not slaves and burn
the city to the ground, liberating everyone. Fire and blood indeed. In the
lands beyond the Wall the men of the Nights Watch are at each others
throats. Theyve not eaten in a while, its really cold and they keep having to
shovel shstuff. It might be hard work but its no excuse for stabbing Lord
Commander Mormont. Craster had it coming though. Beric Dondarrion
makes his return with a new actor in the role.
The one where: Robb is crowned King in the North
Robbs army mourn the loss of Ned, but the death of their liege lord only
fans the flames of hate, as the northerners proclaim Robb their king and
vow to fight for the freedom of the North. Dany builds her husbands funeral
pyre, placing her beloved dragon eggs alongside her sun and stars. As the
flames devour the body of her husband (and Mirri Maz Duur) Dany steps
into the pyre. What is left of Danys Khalasar discover her naked amongst
the ashes, with three beautiful dragons. Shivers, goosebumps and excited
shouting from viewers ensue. Putting the ice in A Song Of Ice And Fire the
Nights Watch begin their expedition beyond the Wall.
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SEASON 2, EPISODE 9
BLACKWATER 02
01
SEASON 3, EPISODE 9
THE RAINS OF CASTAMERE
Noooooo!
Noooooooooo!
Were starting
to feel uneasy
The CGI budget
goes up in smoke.
Director: Neil Marshall
The one where: They spent all the CGI budget
And it was money well spent! War has come to
Kings Landing, and the city is preparing for siege.
On the Blackwater Davos leads Stanniss fleet
into the bay, perplexed by the lack of resistance.
Then Tyrion gives the signal and all hell breaks
loose. The explosion of wildfire destroys a chunk
of the Baratheon fleet, with many men leaping
into the water, although that doesnt stop the fire
from burning. The rest of the fleet lands outside
the walls, and the battle begins in earnest. Tyrion
commands the Hound to lead a sortie into the
burning battlefield but having already been out
there Sandor isnt so keen and leaves in style,
telling the Imp and the King to go fornicate
themselves. Inside the Red Keep Cersei is wearing
some bizarre breast plate armour and getting
increasingly drunk. Sansa, on the other hand,
seems to be keeping fairly calm considering the
situation, and leads the women in prayer. Cersei
demands that her darling boy be brought back
from the battle and he happily goes running back
to mummy. Outside Tyrion leads his men into
battle, only to be turned upon by one of the Kings
Guard, suffering a sword slash to the face. Cersei,
fearing the worst, summons Tommen to the
throne room, where she plans to poison both of
them rather than be taken by Stannis. Just as she
lifts the poison for Tommen to drink, the doors
burst open; Tywin Lannister has saved the day.
The one where: Even more horrible things happen
Its really hard to write about this episode, the
grief, the horror its all too much! It was bad
enough reading it; watching it was a special kind
of torture. Its Edmure Tullys wedding day and
the Freys have caught themselves a fine fat fish,
but why did they have to go after the wolf pelts
too? The look that comes across Catelyns face
when she sees the doors being closed and hears
The Rains Of Castamere playing brilliantly
mirrors your own sinking sense of fear and
worry. We should have been prepared for it after
Neds death. And Jorys, Jeor Mormonts, Ser
Rodriks and all the rest. But still this episode
comes as a massive shock. In one episode the
ambitions of the Northmen come crashing down
around them. In other, less distressing, scenes
Jon turns his cloak again and leaves for the Wall.
He might have fallen for Ygritte, but he is a sworn
brother of the Nights Watch. As he battles for
his escape hes aided by Bran, who has warged
into his direwolf, though Jon is unaware of his
presence. Hodor says Hodor a lot (you can see
how many times on page 44). Across the Narrow
Sea Daenerys sends Daario, Jorah and Grey Worm
into Yunkai. They make a brilliant three-man
army. Now excuse us while we go cry.
The Imp gets
slashed.
Surely hes too
pissed to ght?

MERCHANDISE
IS

COMING
A STORM OF GOODIES IS ON ITS WAY!
In the Game Of Thrones you win or you die. Not great odds. Luckily
SFX was at the New York International Toy Fair in February where
some safer Thones-related playing options were on display
By Tara Bennett Photos Bill Edwards
Funkos new line of 2.5-inch Mystery Minis will
be packed in blind boxes so you wont know
which of the 16 Game Of Thrones characters in
Edition 1 youll be getting and some (Jaime and
Drogon) will be harder to nd than others
AVAILABLE 30 MARCH www.staractiongures.co.uk
Will this slightly scraggy looking
three-eyed Raven (yep, we know you
can only see one, but there's denitely
three) help you see into the future?
AVAILABLE 2014 (subject to licensor
approval), www.factoryent.com
$20
6
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A FEAST FOR FANS

SFX

www.sfx.co.uk
Funkos Deluxe Legacy Collection features all your
favourite GOT characters. Each gure has 20+ points
of articulation and its own removable accessories.
AVAILABLE 2014
Step into Robb Starks furry boots with your very own cloth map of Westeros complete with six sculpted, hand-painted map markers. AVAILABLE NOW www.darkhorse.com
$225
TBC
$199
A limited edition, 11-inch statue of Arya Stark and Needle check
out that furrowed brow, you can almost feel the rage.
AVAILABLE JUNE 2014 www.darkhorse.com
Subscribe at www.sfx.co.uk/subscriptions
Slouch on your own Iron Throne with this replica of Joffreys crown.
Tilt it forward and adopt a sulky sneer to really nail the look.
AVAILABLE END OF 2014 (subject to licensor approval), www.factoryent.com
TBC
TBC
$60
$85
This impressive, limited edition bust of the
Hound has a helmet with a hinged visor so you
can hide his face if he looks too scary.
AVAILABLE JULY 2014 www.darkhorse.com
Collect this litter of three super-cute direwolf
puppies: Shaggydog, Nymeria and Lady.
AVAILABLE END OF 2014 (subject to licensor
approval), www.factoryent.com
You never know how an episode will end, so these
luxurious House pillows are ideal for hiding eyes or
catching tears. AVAILABLE 2014 www.factoryent.com
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SFX

www.sfx.co.uk
$23
$100
$45
Jamie and Cersei Lannister, the scariest
siblings in Westeros, demand respect even
when theyre only eight inches tall.
AVAILABLE JULY 2014 www.darkhorse.com
Attempt to hatch your own
dragons with this set of three,
plush eggs, each with a textured,
shell-like outer fabric.
AVAILABLE NOW www.factoryent.com
23
A limited edition Weirwood Snow Globe featuring a red-leaved, white-barked
Heart Tree of the Godswood. Give the globe a shake and winter will have arrived!
AVAILABLE MARCH 2014 www.darkhorse.com

Collectible dragon
egg box. Below,
sigil rings
Cersei Lannister and
dragon egg necklace.
Right, House pendants
45
21
28
$99
69
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A FEAST FOR FANS

SFX

www.sfx.co.uk
As the actors all agree, its the incredible
attention to detail that makes the world
of Westeros so believable and one woman
who plays a crucial role in bringing the
fantastical to real life is high-end jeweller,
Olga Ganoudis.
From the tiny realm (okay, state)
of Delaware, Ganoudis creates fine
jewellery pieces for art festivals and
private clients. She got swept into the
world of Game Of Thrones through her
work creating collectible pendants for
the hit ABC series, Lost. For that show,
she made pewter Dharma pendants and
a sterling silver reproduction of Charlies
Drive Shaft ring both of which were a
hit with Losts dedicated fanbase.
HBO liked her original twist on the
shows tangible bits of mythology and
Ganoudis was invited to pitch for the job
of making collectible pieces reflecting
the various Houses of Westeros. She was
awarded the gig and has been producing
items since season one.
Ganoudis started creating pendants
featuring the various House sigils and
items inspired by Danys dragons.
First, we did the dragon egg necklace,
she says, then we did all of the House
pendants, and then the dragon eggs and
the dragon egg paperweights.
From her little studio, Ganoudis
designed each piece and decided
which metal to use for the jewellery.
The egg necklaces are made in bronze,
while for an earthier look, the House
sigil pendants are made of pewter and
hung on leather thongs. Ganoudis had
to draft in other craftsmen to help her
produce enough pieces, but even she
was surprised by the reaction from fans
when everything went on sale. Fans have
been snapping up their favourite pieces
sales figures show the most popular are
House Stark, House Targaryen and, of late,
House Greyjoy.
Ganoudis says the biggest hurdle in
crafting the pieces came near the end
of the first season. HBO decided to put
the dragon egg paperweight in the first
season DVD so we had to make 50,000
eggs! We got it done but I was amazed
we did it!
To coincide with the start of season
four, the line has been expanded to
include the intricate Cersei Lannister
pendant and the heavy, sterling silver sigil
rings for each House.
Last season, says Ganoudis, Warner
Bros France had me design the collectible
dragon egg box so Im very grateful for
that and were really happy with how it
came out.
The collectors box holds three resin-
carved dragon eggs, reproduced and
coloured from the props used in the
series. In the set, the eggs rest together
in a satin-lined, wooden case, which
retails at $99.
Now if youre a Baratheon, thats an
easily digestible price, but we don't
all have the wealth of a realm at our
fingertips, so Ganoudis created a more
wallet-friendly option.
We did all three dragon eggs as
paperweights before the start of the last
season. We always had the green one,
Rhaegal, but then we added the other
two Viserion (taupe) and Drogon (red)
so people have the option to buy them
one at a time.
The paperweights have a flat bottom
and come stamped with the series
logo, and if theyre bought individually
they come encased in a muslin pouch.
Apparently theyre popular as birthday or
Christmas gifts, or for Game Of Thrones
viewing parties.
As for how the line may expand,
Ganoudis says thats up to the shows
producers, but she hopes to add more
House sigils and pieces honouring fan
favourite characters.
OLGA GANOUDIS JEWELLERY &
DRAGON EGGS
Ganoudis
started creating
pendants
featuring the
various House
sigils and items
inspired by
Danys dragons

P
art book, part map, all
magnificent paper engineering.
Look in awe upon Game Of Thrones:
A Pop-Up Guide To Westeros.
At first its a book. A pop-up
book. And even on that level its
a card and paper marvel with
towers and castles and the Wall
unfurling in front of your eyes, plus
loads of extra bits and pieces to
pull open to reveal spell-binding
corrugated surprises.
But break the magnetic seal on
the spine and you can open the
entire thing out into a pop-up map
of Westeros thats about three-feet
long. Its like recreating the opening
titles on your living room floor.
Its 40, and its available from
Bantam Press from 24 April. And no,
you cant have ours because theres
currently a Game Of Thrones-style
power-play going on in the office to
prove who is worthy to own it.
The Eyrie even features a
bonus pop-up of the Justice
of the Moon Door and
someone falling through it.
Kings Landing makes
for an impressive
opening for the book.
Its huge!
Theres both a raven and
a direwolf hidden under
this flap. But we dont
want to spoil everything.
FANTASY AND MAPS GO TOGETHER LIKE JOFFREY AND BAD PARENTING. BUT AS EVER, GAME
OF THRONES MAKES THINGS A LITTLE MORE EXTRAVAGANT THAN OTHER FANTASY SAGAS
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The White Walker pop-up has
to be one of the best. It may be
small but the eyes are freaky.
AARRGGHH! Dotted everywhere
around the map are
tags to pull, which either
reveal more pop-ups or
extra information.
The Heart Tree of the
Godswood, located in
the grounds of Winterfell
(map clearly not to scale).
The port city of Qarth in the
continent of Essos (which
also boasts a great pop-up
of the Unsullied).

Dave: I dont read the books, and Im fascinated
by how reading them might affect the way people
watch Game Of Thrones. Its such a plot-lead
show; one of the reasons I watch it is because I
never know whats going to happen and its always
outrageous. Surely, if youve read the books, that
pleasure is denied to you. So is it a case instead of
wondering how theyve changed things or how
things measure up to what you had in your head?
Rob: Thats definitely a part of it. So far the
differences have been quite subtle, but they have
been there. Theres a butterfly effect going on where
the little things that have been changed are going to
start having bigger repercussions. I quite like that.
For example, in the first season there was a really
minor character who was a singer, and theres a part
where he sings a song that Joffrey doesnt like, so
Joffrey has his tongue ripped out. Now, in the book
that character goes on to have quite a significant
part to play. He appears to be quite minor, but he
ends up being used as a scapegoat for a murder. It
seems really tiny and incidental, but its those little
things that get me thinking, How are they going to
do that now, then?
Dave: So the changes tend to be character-based
rather than plot-based?
Rob: Pretty much. Theyve played quite fast and
loose with supporting characters, killing them
off or changing characters completely, leaving
some out and creating entirely new ones, such as
Ros the whore. I find myself wondering how the
changes are going to play out. All the big plot turns
have been the same in effect, if not in detail. And
anyway, a lot of the key events are so massive and
spectacular; I want to see how that is visualised.
Ive always known how I thought certain things
should look, but with something like the Battle
of the Blackwater or the Red Wedding, it was
great to see them on screen. Sure, they changed
some details from the books. For example, in A
Clash Of Kings, Tyrion has this scheme running
all the way through where he gets all the smiths
in Kings Landing to work on links for a giant
chain. Eventually, at the Battle of the Blackwater,
Stanniss ships all enter the bay and Tyrions chain
is lifted out of the water, trapping them all. I was
quite disappointed that was missed out. Tyrions a
military genius! But in the end, it didnt matter. The
way the whole battle was played out was incredible
anyway. After all, the show is so well designed, the
set design and every detail is so painstakingly put
together, that you cant help but not really mind
when they change certain things.
Dave: Its one of the things I love about the show.
You have got your classic fantasy castles, like up in
the North. But all the other areas have their own
little aesthetic details that are just spot on. But, do
you think the readers of the books get some weird
pleasure in hearing non-reader fan reactions to
some of those setpieces? Did you spend the week
before the Red Wedding going, I cant wait to see
what the reactions going to be?
Rob: With the Red Wedding, I was really
impressed by how many people were genuinely
surprised. I thought that surely everybody
must have known what was going to happen. I
think it says something for long-term readers
and fans that they havent ruined it for viewers,
even inadvertently! That whole season, I had a
feeling of, Youre never going to believe whats
Danys quite a bit
younger in the books.
spoiling
yourself
Two Game Of Thrones fans one whos read the books, the other
who hasnt discuss how that difference affects the way you watch,
and enjoy, the show. Rob Power and Dave Golder talk it out
AND WHY IT CAN BE A GOOD THING WHEN IT
COMES TO GAME OF THRONES
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TO READ OR NOT TO READ?

SFX

GRRM loves Natalia
Tenas portrayal of
Wildling Osha.
Ros doesnt feature
in the books at all.
IVE ALWAYS KNOWN
HOW I THOUGHT
CERTAIN THINGS
SHOULD LOOK, BUT
WITH SOMETHING
LIKE THE BATTLE OF
THE BLACKWATER OR
THE RED WEDDING,
IT WAS GREAT TO SEE
THEM ON SCREEN
Rob

going to happen! Its amazing to see people react to
it for the first time, and be so shocked and outraged
and hurt.
Dave: Itd be great to know if people had a
different reaction reading it to watching it. Was it
more or less shocking?
Rob: Well, Benioff and Weiss were very smart
with the Red Wedding. It didnt play out exactly
as it had in the books. They threw in extras. For
example, Robb Starks wife Talisa. Shes an example
of a character that is totally changed from the
books in fact, she doesnt exist in the books. In A
Clash Of Kings, Robbs love interest is a girl called
Jeyne Westerling, the daughter of a local lord. Robb
gets injured in an attack, she nurses him back to
health, they fall in love and get married. Shes still
alive in the books, and theres a whole question
over whether shes pregnant or not. Nobody knows;
shes disappeared into the background. So when her
equivalent character was chopped up quite badly on
screen that was shocking. It was really brutal what
they did to her.
So there are still surprises, even at these major
plot points. There are still changes that theyve
made where you realise youre not as clever as
you thought you were. And also, because youre so
familiar with whats going to happen youre not
even thinking of different things that could happen,
so its even more of a shock when it does.
Dave: The other thing about watching it as a
non-reader I dont know if you have the same
problem as a reader is trying to remember who
everyone is. Sometimes, I want to watch the show
recorded, so that I can stop it at the scene changes
and try to remember who everyone is and what they
were up to last time we saw them!
Rob: That was one advantage of having read
everything that was published up to the point the
series started. You knew who everyone was. You
even knew who the non-speaking actors in the
background were! Because GRRM goes into such
depth and there are so many characters, by the time
youve absorbed all those hundreds of thousands of
words, you instinctively know who everyone is.
ONE OTHER THING
ABOUT WATCHING
AS A NON-READER
IS TRYING TO
REMEMBER WHO
EVERYONE IS. I WANT
TO WATCH THE
SHOW RECORDED, SO
I CAN STOP IT AT THE
SCENE CHANGES AND
TRY TO REMEMBER
WHAT EVERYONE WAS
UP TO LAST TIME WE
SAW THEM
Dave
Jeyne in the books,
Talisa on TV.
The superlative
Diana Rigg.
One face thats
hard to forget.
Poor Ned loses
his head.
75
GAME OF THRONES

TO READ OR NOT TO READ?

SFX

Dave: Doesnt it already hold a record for the most
speaking parts in any drama created in the US? And
its only 30 episodes old! Dallas went for 10, 12 years,
and yet Game Of Thrones holds the record!
Rob: And even with that in mind, I still think that
its quite a limited cast on screen. There are lots of
characters, some minor, some not so minor, that
I really like in the novels who havent turned up.
I wish theyd done 24-episode seasons so that we
could have the whole lot in there. But I spose you
cant have your cake and eat it. Theyd never have
been able to afford it for a start! But Ive never been
confused about the characters, thats definitely a bit
of a bonus from having read the books. I just want
more! I want it to be longer; I want The Lord Of The
Rings Extended Edition version!
Dave: I wanted an entire episode of the Queen of
Thorns. I felt cheated in the last season when there
were episodes that she wasnt in! And I could watch
Charles Dance as Tywin all day.
Rob: Absolutely. Hes been brilliant. Those scenes
with him and Arya in Harrenhal in the second
season were just superb.
Dave: It was a clever way of getting information
from characters in one part of the plot to characters
in another.
Rob: And they were just lovely scenes. It stretched
credulity a little bit, you couldnt quite imagine that
Tywin would let the educated serving girl go, but
it still worked. Then of course theres Tyrion. Peter
Dinklage is so good. Hes much better looking than
Tyrion is made out to be in the novels lets face it,
Dinklage is a pretty good looking dude! Hes cool,
hes got swagger, hes just brilliant.
Dave: Its great that he can be such a strong
character even though hes playing a character
derogatively referred to as a dwarf. Youd have
thought that would be appalling and terrible and
a PC minefield, but theyve created a really strong
character. Thats kind of more PC than dancing
around the subject! Sometimes, when TV does
differently abled characters but seems scared to
paint them at all in a negative light, it comes across
as embarrassingly patronising. Tyrions great
because he can be a complete dick and nobody goes,
Ooooh, negative depiction of a dwarf! because
actually, we all love him.
Rob: Hes just got bundles of charisma. Hes so
easy to watch and hes got an aura about him.
I think theyve done a good job of keeping the
moral complexity that the novels have too. Tyrion
is an interesting character. Hes not afraid to go
whoring or send people to their deaths or be quite
Machiavellian, but hes still likeable. Its all still in
the pot. Nothing has been over-simplified; theyve
kept all the good stuff that GRRM does so well.
Dave: Do you think that any of the changes made
for the TV version will affect how he writes the last
few books?
Rob: No, I dont think so. Hes quite bloody-
minded and he doesnt pander to anyone. Which
is why he takes so long! When I interviewed him
a couple of years ago, he said that the only effect
he could imagine was with the Wildling Osha,
because of the way that Natalia Tena had played
her. But other than that, nothing. All of the key
characters have been transferred so carefully that
there isnt really any difference. Obviously the books
are big, but every word is considered. I think he
knows where hes going. And he wont be rushed
getting there!
Even readers didnt
see that coming.
Different tactics,
same results.
Have a run round
Kings Landing
and tell me thats
not impressive
77
GAME OF THRONES

THE VIDEOGAME

SFX

www.sfx.co.uk
G
eorge RR Martins A Song Of Ice And
Fire series is a once-in-a-generation
fantasy saga that even annoying gits
who claim a deep loathing for fairies,
goblins and all that guff cant help
but become obsessed with. Even more people
adore HBOs small screen adaptation, Game
Of Thrones, but did you know theres more to
Westeros than what youve seen on TV or read
in books? A videogame with a tale to tell that
offers all the political intrigue, bloodthirsty
action and jaw-flooring twists the series is best
known for?
The modestly-monikered Game Of Thrones,
from French developer Cyanide, was widely
panned on its release in 2012, but Jordan
Farley has assembled the SFX court to argue
that if youve written off this underplayed
gem, youre missing out on one of the best
stories A Song Of Ice And Fire has to offer
PROSECUTION: Your Honour, my learned
colleague, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, today
we present to you the case against the Game Of
Thrones videogame. Hang on they made a Game
Of Thrones videogame?
DEFENCE: Of course they did! How can you
have a case if you dont even know the thing
youre prosecuting exists?
PROSECUTION: Im just yanking your chain, I
know it exists, which is more than I can say for
99 per cent of the people who watch A Game Of
Thrones on TV.
DEFENCE: Fair point, but the size of your
audience doesnt always directly correlate with
quality. How else do you explain Fifty Shades Of
Grey selling 90 million copies?
PROSECUTION: A planet full of perverts?
DEFENCE: Lets hope the Judge isnt a Fifty
Shades fan This is beside the point. The Game
Of Thrones RPG is superb despite its criminally
small audience.
PROSECUTION:You can understand why
audiences were turned off: it looks pants. I mean,
look at it! (Exhibit A) The textures are muddy,
the character models appear to be glorified Lego
men and its full of immersion-breaking bugs.
And dont get me started on the voice acting.
DEFENCE: Not every game can have the
production values of a Grand Theft Auto or an
Assassins Creed, because few developers have
the kind of resources that Rockstar or Ubisoft
have. Cyanide is a fairly small studio based in
France who are best known for strategy games.
Game Of Thrones was a big step up for them and
though its far from a technical marvel, its plain
to see that a lot of accomplished craft went into
the creation of the environments (Exhibit B).
Have a run round Kings Landing, or Riverspring
(a town created for the game) and tell me thats
not impressive.
PROSECUTION: Its not impressive.
YOU GAVE THE GAME OF THRONES
VIDEOGAME ANOTHER CHANCE?
The game was mercilessly panned, but Jordan Farley
argues that it has a pretty major redeeming feature
EXHIBIT A
EXHIBIT B
Sylvain Sechi, lead designer at Cyanide,
on building Westeros: We started with
a lot of documentation to really capture
the essence of the books. Then, we did
realistic architecture. In games, most of
the time architecture makes no sense.
Houses have no kitchen or toilets, rooms
are mostly empty. We were careful to
ask ourselves these kinds of questions
at all times. Finally, we aged everything.
Nothing is new; nothing is out of the
factory. We were really inspired by the
first Star Wars in that respect.

Its how the two characters are
connected and the tragic events in
the final third of the game that make
their story truly memorable
EXHIBIT C
EXHIBIT E
Sylvain Sechi on that ending (no
spoilers): The darker story elements
definitely felt natural. The ending was
obvious for us, but we had a really
hard time convincing the publishers/
distributor as they feared it was too
dark and would displease some players.
Game Of Thrones isnt My Little Pony.
We kept our ending.
Sylvain Sechi on storytelling:
Storytelling was our biggest
production effort. It took us a year, just
to get the backbone of the script right
and to create all of the characters... It was
actually a long and painful road as we
wanted the game to respect both what
was already written and what GRRM will
write later. We therefore had a lot of work
to do on coherence and consistency, in
order to make sure that the incredibly
rich universe of Game Of Thrones was
treated as it deserved to be. Regarding
our efforts, we had a team of 10 people
(writers and designers alike) dedicated
to the story.
79
GAME OF THRONES

THE VIDEOGAME

SFX

www.sfx.co.uk
that builds to the meeting of the two main
characters: Alester Sarwyck (a Red Priest of
Rhllor) and Mors Westford (a member of the
Nights Watch). The opening chapters are
important for building empathy with both of
them before you get to the really juicy stuff when
they come together, and especially by the end.
Oh boy, that ending (Exhibit C). Theyre brilliant
characters, two of the best ever created for the
A Song Of Ice And Fire series in fact. Needless
to say, they have a complicated history. They
operate in a moral grey zone, have chequered
pasts and crucially feel real (Exhibit D),
something few RPGs ever achieve with their
main characters.
PROSECUTION:Yeah, but the books and the
TV show have real characters in spades; what
makes Alester and your man Mors so special?
DEFENCE: First of all, the huge amount of
DEFENCE: Did you even play it?
PROSECUTION: I played it for an hour or so.
DEFENCE: Well, thats the problem you see, all
the good stuff comes later.
PROSECUTION: Thats not my problem, thats a
problem with the game.
DEFENCE: We got lucky with A Game Of
Thrones on television, it hit the ground
running and the pace hasnt slowed since. But
how many other (brilliant) shows can you say
have done that? Not enough to require two
hands, thats for sure. And the same is true of
videogames, especially RPGs, which generally
require dozens of hours to complete.
PROSECUTION:Are you saying I have to play
an ugly game for dozens of hours to get to the
good stuff?
DEFENCE: Not dozens, but around 10 should do
it. The game has a complicated split narrative
EXHIBIT D
EXHIBIT F
Sylvain Sechi on character building:
Creating the characters was one of the
most difficult parts, as we really wanted
them to feel real and detailed, as if they
truly existed in that world. It took us
a long time to define the relationship
our heroes had with every single other
character in the stories. And since we
knew that was the way to make a rich
story, we also did that with all of the
other characters. Working on this huge
web of relationships was a complex
matter, especially because the choices
you make change the way characters
react towards either Mors or Alester
(or both).
Sylvain Sechi on George RR Martins
involvement: GRRM is a very passionate
and busy man. We had some really
intense sessions with him to share our
story and to hear his feedback and
input, and also to make sure everything
was perfectly consistent between the
game and the books. He also reviewed
everything we wrote (dialogue included)
regarding characters that exist from the
books. I know he was happy with the
story we created in his world, and were
truly proud of that.

My 70-year-old dad watches Game Of
Thrones. How do you expect him to play
the game when he doesnt have the
hand-eye co-ordination to play Pong?
for an hour youve seen pretty much all there
is to offer in terms of the combat. Theres an
admirable scope to customise your characters
abilities, and while youre playing as Mors you
can take control of your dog at any point (hes
a skinchanger, you see), but once youve found
three or four attacks that work youre given no
reason to do anything different for the rest of the
game. And there are a lot of battles.
PROSECUTION: Objection! Are you the
prosecution, or am I?
DEFENCE: Oh yes, sorry. Do continue.
PROSECUTION: Thank you. What was I
saying? Rubbish combat, right. Another crucial
problem is that RPGs are built on complex
systems with numbers flying about all over the
place. My 70-year-old dad watches Game Of
Thrones. How do you expect him to play the
game when he doesnt have the hand-eye co-
ordination for Pong?
DEFENCE: Everyones got to start somewhere!
PROSECUTION: Right
DEFENCE: Its true, games arent for everyone,
especially RPGs, which require more of a
commitment than your average shoot-em-up, but
the investment is worth it. If youre a gamer you
really have no excuse not to play it. Or at the very
least watch someone else play it on YouTube.
PROSECUTION: I can just watch it on
YouTube? You could have just said that from
the start!
DEFENCE: But thats not the best way to
experience it!
PROSECUTION:Ah, details. I think weve got
everything we need to reach a settlement.
DEFENCE: Hang on, I didnt get to tell you about
the bit where
JUDGE: Case closed.
well-written dialogue in the game means you
get into their heads like few other characters in
the series. Secondly, its how the two characters
are connected and the tragic events in the final
third of the game that make their story truly
memorable, but it would be unethical of me to go
into details because spoilers, sweetie.
PROSECUTION:Who let River Song in here? So
were just supposed to take your word for it that
the story is good?
DEFENCE: Not at all. (Exhibits E and F)
Not only was the story Cyanides biggest
production effort, but GRRM himself
reviewed almost every single word written
for the game. He even makes a meta-cameo
as Maester Martin (Exhibit G). The story is
100% canon, taking place during the events of
the first season/book, with appearances from
Cersei Lannister, Jeor Mormont and Lord
Varys. It was even written with future books in
mind, so there could be no conflict with future
stories. The murder of Jon Arryn is the spark
that ignites the tale, much as it is in A Game
Of Thrones, while Neds death is important
during the games climactic moments. Heck, the
reason why Mors is sent to The Wall is because
he refused Tywin Lannisters order to kill the
children of mad king Aerys Targaryen during
Robert Baratheons rebellion. Rather than simply
retell the events of the first season (Exhibit H)
the game tells a unique tale thats so immersed in
A Song Of Ice And Fire lore no true fan could play
it and not be dazzled.
PROSECUTION:Okay, Ill admit it, the story is
probably quite good. But that doesnt excuse the
fact that the combat is really rubbish.
DEFENCE: If youve only played it for an
hour oh, who am I kidding. If youve played it
EXHIBIT H
EXHIBIT G
Sylvain Sechi on the games reception:
Were still a bit bitter that the game
received a mixed reception. From
the RPG/story lovers, the game was
incredibly well received, but the broader
audience was probably expecting a more
action game or a play exactly what is
told in the TV series game. We wanted
to create something new that is perfectly
faithful to the universe, with a quality story,
and in that respect, we were successful.
If we could do it again, or make a sequel,
I would definitely change the combat
system. Id also add more choices/
consequences. I think Id also try to
push the character sheet customisation
deeper. And Id definitely make one of
the lead characters a female.
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83
DANGEROUS WOMEN

THE PRINCESS AND THE QUEEN

SFX

www.sfx.co.uk
PRINCESS
QUEEN
AND THE
THE
OR
THE BLACKS AND THE GREENS
A new 100-page novella by George RR Martin, set in the world of A Song
Of Ice And Fire and revealing the origins of the Targaryen Civil War, is
included in Dangerous Women, a recently published anthology edited by
GRRM and Gardner Dozois. We publish an extract for you here
o banners flew above the
blackened towers and
ruined keeps of Harrenhal
when Prince Daemon
descended from the sky
to take up the castle for
his own. A few squatters
had found shelter in the
castles deep vaults and undercellars, but the
sound of Caraxess wings sent them fleeing.
When the last of them was gone, Daemon
Targaryen walked the cavernous halls of
Harrens seat alone, with no companion but his
dragon. Each night at dusk he slashed the heart
tree in the godswood to mark the passing of
another day. Thirteen marks can be seen upon
that weirwood still; old wounds, deep and dark,
yet the lords who have ruled Harrenhal since
Daemons day say they bleed afresh every spring.
On the fourteenth day of the princes vigil, a
shadow swept over the castle, blacker than any
passing cloud. All the birds in the godswood
took to the air in fright, and a hot wind whipped
the fallen leaves across the yard. Vhagar had
come at last, and on her back rode the one-eyed
prince Aemond Targaryen, clad in night-black
armor chased with gold.
He had not come alone. Alys Rivers flew with
him, her long hair streaming black behind her,
her belly swollen with child. Prince Aemond
circled twice about the towers of Harrenhal,
then brought Vhagar down in the outer ward,
with Caraxes a hundred yards away. The
dragons glared balefully at each other, and
Caraxes spread his wings and hissed, flames
dancing across his teeth.
The prince helped his woman down from
Vhagars back, then turned to face his uncle.
Nuncle, I hear you have been seeking us.
Only you, Daemon replied. Who told you
where to find me?
My lady, Aemond answered. She saw you
in a storm cloud, in a mountain pool at dusk,
in the fire we lit to cook our suppers. She sees
much and more, my Alys. You were a fool to
come alone.
Were I not alone, you would not have come,
said Daemon.
Yet you are, and here I am. You have lived
too long, nuncle.
On that much we agree, Daemon replied.
Then the old prince bid Caraxes bend his neck,
and climbed stiffly onto his back, whilst the
young prince kissed his woman and vaulted
lightly onto Vhagar, taking care to fasten the
four short chains between belt and saddle.
Daemon left his own chains dangling. Caraxes

hissed again, filling the air with flame, and
Vhagar answered with a roar. As one the two
dragons leapt into the sky.
Prince Daemon took Caraxes up swiftly,
lashing him with a steel-tipped whip until they
disappeared into a bank of clouds. Vhagar, older
and much the larger, was also slower, made
ponderous by her very size, and ascended more
gradually, in ever widening circles that took
her and her rider out over the waters of the
Gods Eye. The hour was late, the sun was close
to setting, and the lake was calm, its surface
glimmering like a sheet of beaten copper. Up
and up she soared, searching for Caraxes as Alys
Rivers watched from atop Kingspyre Tower in
Harrenhal below.
The attack came sudden as a thunderbolt.
Caraxes dove down upon Vhagar with a
piercing shriek that was heard a dozen miles
away, cloaked by the glare of the setting sun on
Prince Aemonds blind side. The Blood Wyrm
slammed into the older dragon with terrible
force. Their roars echoed across the Gods Eye
as the two grappled and tore at one another,
dark against a blood red sky. So bright did their
flames burn that fisherfolk below feared the
clouds themselves had caught fire. Locked
together, the dragons tumbled toward the lake.
The Blood Wyrms jaws closed about Vhagars
neck, her black teeth sinking deep into the
flesh of the larger dragon. Even as Vhagars
claws raked her belly open and Vhagars own
teeth ripped away a wing, Caraxes bit deeper,
worrying at the wound as the lake rushed up
below them with terrible speed.
And it was then, the tales tell us, that Prince
Daemon Targaryen swung a leg over his saddle
and leapt from one dragon to the other. In
his hand was Dark Sister, the sword of Queen
Visenya. As Aemond One-Eye looked up in
terror, fumbling with the chains that bound him
to his saddle, Daemon ripped off his nephews
helm and drove the sword down into his blind
eye, so hard the point came out the back of the
young princes throat. Half a heartbeat later,
the dragons struck the lake, sending up a gout
of water so high that it was said to have been as
tall as Kingspyre Tower.
Neither man nor dragon could have survived
such an impact, the fisherfolk who saw it said.
Nor did they. Caraxes lived long enough to
crawl back onto the land. Gutted, with one wing
torn from his body and the waters of the lake
smoking about him, the Blood Wyrm found the
strength to drag himself onto the lakeshore,
expiring beneath the walls of Harrenhal.
Vhagars carcass plunged to the lake floor, the
hot blood from the gaping wound in her neck
bringing the water to a boil over her last resting
place. When she was found some years later,
after the end of the Dance of the Dragons,
Prince Aemonds armored bones remained
chained to her saddle, with Dark Sister thrust
hilt-deep through his eye socket.
That Prince Daemon died as well we cannot
doubt. His remains were never found, but there
are queer currents in that lake, and hungry fish
as well. The singers tell us that the old prince
survived the fall and afterward made his way
back to the girl Nettles, to spend the remainder
of his days at her side. Such stories make for
charming songs, but poor history.
It was upon the twenty-second day of
the fifth moon of the year 130 AC when the
dragons danced and died above the Gods
Eye. Daemon Targaryen was nine-and-forty
at his death; Prince Aemond had only turned
twenty. Vhagar, the greatest of the Targaryen
dragons since the passing of Balerion the Black
Dread, had counted one hundred eighty-
one years upon the earth. Thus passed the
last living creature from the days of Aegons
Conquest, as dusk and darkness swallowed
Black Harrens accursed seat. Yet so few were
on hand to bear witness that it would be some
time before word of Prince Daemons last battle
became widely known.
Back in Kings Landing, Queen Rhaenyra was
finding herself ever more isolated with every
new betrayal. The suspected turncloak Addam
Velaryon had fled before he could be put to
the question. By ordering the arrest of Addam
Velaryon, she had lost not only a dragon and a
dragonrider, but her Queens Hand as well... and
more than half the army that had sailed from
Dragonstone to seize the Iron Throne was made
up of men sworn to House Velaryon. When it
became known that Lord Corlys languished in
a dungeon under the Red Keep, they began to
abandon her cause by the hundreds. Some made
their way to Cobblers Square to join the throngs
gathered there, whilst others slipped through
postern gates or over the walls, intent on making
their way back to Driftmark. Nor could those
who remained be trusted.
That very day, not long after sunset, another
horror visited the queens court. Helaena
Targaryen, sister, wife, and queen to King Aegon
II and mother of his children, threw herself from
her window in Maegors Holdfast to die impaled
upon the iron spikes that lined the dry moat
below. She was but one-and-twenty.
By nightfall, a darker tale was being told in the
streets and alleys of Kings Landing, in inns and
brothels and pot shops, even holy septs. Queen
Helaena had been murdered, the whispers went,
as her sons had been before her. Prince Daeron
and his dragons would soon be at the gates, and
with them the end of Rhaenyras reign. The old
queen was determined that her young half-sister
should not live to revel in her downfall, so she
had sent Ser Luthor Largent to seize Helaena
with his huge rough hands and fling her from the
window onto the spikes below.
The rumor of Queen Helaenas murder
was soon on the lips of half Kings Landing.
That it was so quickly believed shows how
utterly the city had turned against their once-
beloved queen. Rhaenyra was hated; Helaena
had been loved. Nor had the common folk of
the city forgotten the cruel murder of Prince
Jaehaerys by Blood and Cheese. Helaenas end
had been mercifully swift; one of the spikes
took her through the throat and she died
without a sound. At the moment of her death,
across the city atop the Hill of Rhaenys, her
dragon Dreamfyre rose suddenly with a roar
that shook the Dragonpit, snapping two of the
chains that bound her. When Queen Alicent
was informed of her daughters passing, she
rent her garments and pronounced a dire curse
upon her rival.
That night Kings Landing rose in
bloody riot.
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WRESTLING JESUS
by Joe R Lansdale
NEIGHBORS
by Megan Lindholm (aka Robin Hobb)
SHADOWS FOR SILENCE IN THE
FORESTS OF HELL
by Brandon Sanderson
A QUEEN IN EXILE
by Sharon Kay Penman
VIRGINS
by Diana Gabaldon (an Outlander story)
SOME DESPERADO
by Joe Abercrombie (a Red Country
story)
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The Prancing Pony Drinking Game
ONE
DRINK
TWO
DRINKS
THREE
DRINKS
THE LORD OF THE RINGS

THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING

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87 www.sfx.co.uk
was that each computer-generated person
would react realistically to events happening
around them although at first, during battles,
the programmers were amused to discover that
all their people simply ran away from harm.
0:05:26 History became legend, says Galadriel.
Legend became myth. Hang on, arent they
one and the same? Now the action has leapt
forward by, er, 2,500 years. Gollum has the ring,
and for the first time we hear the words My
Precious! Then the action cuts forward
another 500 years. You certainly cant say that
The Lord Of The Rings is a small, intimate story.
0:06:51 Bilbo Baggins finds the ring in Gollums
cave in a scene which was recreated in the later
Hobbit film, An Unexpected Journey. Rather
amazingly, Ian Holms voice sounds very much
like Martin Freemans, even if they dont quite
look identical. Further proof that Freeman was
destined to play Bilbo, perhaps?
0:07:52 The Fellowship Of The Ring
appears on screen, superimposed over
the interior of Bilbos wooden dwelling,
Bag End. We now get a charming and bucolic
Concerning Hobbits sequence introducing the
0:01:02 The opening scenes of The Fellowship Of
The Ring are given an expository voiceover
from Cate Blanchett as Galadriel. Her smooth
Elven tones tell us: Much that once was is lost;
for none now live who remember it. This is the
Tolkien-ised version of: A long time ago, in a
galaxy far, far away...
0:02:09 One ring to rule them all, Galadriel
says, and theres a rather lovely shot of Elvish
writing appearing on the ring on Saurons finger.
Clearly, that ring spells Trouble with a capital T.
0:03:14 Sauron looms over the human and Elvish
troops facing him. Hes huge, although not
actually as big as youd expect, given that he
spends the rest of the trilogy as a gigantic fiery
eye on top of a tower.
0:03:58 There goes Saurons finger,
courtesy of a well-timed swing from
Isildur. The result? Sauron goes
KABLOOIE! Armies are felled in vast swathes
by the explosion impressive CGI for the year
2001, and the result of the computer program
known as MASSIVE (Multiple Agent Simulation
System in Virtual Environment), which was
used extensively in these films. Its selling point
little chaps and chappesses, some large pigs
and a Hobbit flicking earwax off his fingers.
0:09:37 Our first glimpse of Samwise Gamgee,
smiling at a pot of flowers in a rather over-the-
top way (does he fancy them or something?).
0:10:33 Gandalf wheels into view, singing
The Road Goes Ever On, a walking
song Tolkien first used in The Hobbit.
0:10:47 Gandalf: A wizard is never late, Frodo
Baggins. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely
when he means to. This quote has since been
appropriated the world over by kids late for
school or workers late to the office.
0:11:24 The first proper shot of the
trilogy featuring a Hobbit and a regular-
sized person (or wizard). It looks
perfectly natural: its not long before we take
these sights for granted, despite the
astonishing amount of behind-the-scenes work.
This shot, for example, didnt actually use CGI:
it was filmed using forced perspective. Elijah
Wood was really sitting about four feet behind
Ian McKellen and they were told where to look
so their eyelines matched up. Sneaky!
n
Year: 2001
n
Director: Peter Jackson
n
Writers: JRR Tolkien, Fran Walsh, Philippa Boyens, Peter Jackson
n
Starring: Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, Orlando Bloom, Cate Blanchett
P
L
E
A
S
E

N
O
T
E
:

F
O
R

T
H
E

P
U
R
P
O
S
E
S

O
F

T
H
E
S
E

G
U
I
D
E
S
,

W
E

H
A
V
E

U
S
E
D

T
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E
X
T
E
N
D
E
D

E
D
I
T
I
O
N
S

O
N

D
V
D
.
n
Bilbo or Frodo
get their ngers
on the ring.
n
Merry, Pippin or
Sam have a chat
about food.
n
Frodo looks
weepy or
actually sheds
a tear.
n
Legolas res an
arrow.
n
The Ringwraiths
scare someone
(including
Hobbits).
n
Gollum appears
or is mentioned.
The Fellowship Of The Ring Key
TRIVIA: Interesting
Rings factoids
BONUS: Extended
edition extras
DID YOU SPOT?:
Missed moments
GOOFS: Bloopers
and gaffes
WTF?!: Did that
really happen!?
FRODO FALLS: This
happens a lot
A tree and a pipe. What
more does a Hobbit need?
DRINK EVERY TIME...

Sing: Frodo and Samwise
sitting in a tree
0:12:00 Frodo and Gandalf drive into
Hobbiton, an extraordinary fake town
created in New Zealands Matamata
region that still exists as a tourist attraction
today after being rebuilt for the Hobbit movies
(www.hobbitontours.com).
0:16:04 Gandalf enters Bag End and bangs his
head on a beam. Note: a wizard bangs his head
on a beam precisely when he means to.
0:19:01 Bilbo and Gandalf sit outside Bag End
and blow smoke rings. Gandalf sends a
galleon-shaped ring through Bilbos humble
circle, just because wizards are show-offs. (See
also: wizard fireworks.)
0:20:04 Katie and Billy Jackson, the
offspring of Peter and Fran Walsh.
Theyre the two wide-eyed Hobbits
hearing Bilbo tell his troll story. Look out for
these guys throughout the trilogy
0:20:40 Meriadoc Brandybuck and Peregrin
Took, aka Merry and Pippin, make their first
appearance as thieving Hobbitses stealing
Gandalfs fireworks. What were they thinking?
Didnt it occur to them that Gandalf was going
to fire them all anyway? Incidentally, the
firework Pippin runs off with looks more like a
giant prawn than a dragon.
0:22:00 Bilbo goes a bit wonky while making his
birthday speech, insulting the crowd (possibly)
and then disappearing theatrically after putting
on the ring. Weirdly, it doesnt seem to occur to
anybody other than Gandalf (and much, much
later, Frodo) to check Bag End afterwards to
find out if that was where he vanished to
0:25:13 One of the few times when
eyelines between humans and Hobbits
dont quite line up, sadly, although given
that this scene features Bilbo wandering in a
complicated manner around a room while
Gandalf looms over him, well let them off. It
must have been a bugger to film, and you cant
fault the ambition.
0:26:40 Gandalf tells Bilbo off and the lights in
the room darken as he makes his feelings
known. Despite the smoke rings and the
fireworks, this is our first glimpse of the true
powers of a wizard helped along by some
excellent sound effects. You can almost feel the
building shaking.
0:30:12 So this is confusing. Gandalf
doesnt pick the ring up off the floor: he
waits for Frodo to do it, reluctant to
touch it. He gets Frodo to put it in an
envelope, then closes it and seals it with wax
before handing it back to the Hobbit. But why?
If the ring is so incredibly powerful that he
doesnt want to touch it, why on (Middle-)earth
does a simple piece of paper protect him from
its powers?
0:31:25 Ringwraiths ride from Minas Morgul for
the Shire after we hear Gollums tortured voice
screaming. We can tell theyre evil because a)
theyre all in black robes and b) theres a choir
on the soundtrack. The Omen has a lot to
answer for.
0:35:35 Gandalf burns the ring and the famous
words appear: One ring to rule them all,
one ring to find them, one ring to bring them
all and in the darkness bind them. By the
way, Gandalfs nose is fake. Just in case you
were wondering.
0:40:39 During the course of this trilogy
Frodo falls over a lot. Were going to
call this his first fall, although technically
he only falls to the ground because Gandalf
tells him to. Be ready for many, many more
Frodo-falls...
0:43:00 As Sam stops by the scarecrow
and tells Frodo this is the furthest hes
ever been from home, a car goes over
the hill in the background. Or at least, it used
to: you could spot it on a cinema screen, but
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Scared of water,
apparently.
Whod have thought
its a perfect t.
Saruman reveals
his dark side.
not on a TV screen. (Theres a chance it was
corrected before the film hit DVD but trust us,
it was there.)
0:43:08 Frodo and Sam investigate some
Wood-Elves. Sam says, I dont know
why, but it makes me sad. Hmm. Lets
think. Could that be something to do with the
maudlin dirge theyre singing as they slip away
from this realm to the Grey Havens, never to
be seen again?
0:47:40 Gandalf discovers that Saruman the
White is actually Saruman the dirty traitor. The
more times you watch the wizard duel that
ensues, the sillier it gets. Its as if its backed by
a law of diminishing seriousness.
0:51:00 Frodo gets knocked over as he
and Sam bump into Merry and Pippin,
who talk about a shortcut to
mushrooms. This is the name of the fourth
chapter of Tolkiens first book in The Lord Of
The Rings.
0:52:38 The Hobbits hide among some
tree roots while a Ringwraith sniffs
around for them. Merry distracts it by
throwing something to one side and the
Hobbits run for freedom. However, this makes
no sense: unless the Ringwraith was incredibly
stupid, deaf or blind, it would have clearly seen
and heard the Hobbits escaping!
0:55:00 More proof that the Ringwraiths
arent the sharpest knives in the
drawer. One of them chases the Hobbits
onto a wooden ferry and then gives up on
them. But by our reckoning, its horse could
clearly have jumped onto the ferry over the tiny
gap, or it could have tried to jump itself, or it
could have swum across. Saurons been after
this ring for 3,000 years: why let a little water
get in the way? Ringwraith, you are the
weakest link. Goodbye.
0:56:09 Peter Jackson makes a cameo as
a man eating a carrot and belching. Do
carrots really make you belch? Discuss.
0:57:43 Pippin makes a discovery: It comes in
pints? To which we say Hobbits must have
very large bladders.
0:59:40 He slips up on some beer and
the ring just happens to fall onto his
finger. Whatre the odds, eh? Naughty
ring. Saurons giant fiery eye is pretty scary, by
the way.
1:00:45 Strider, aka Aragorn, saves Frodo and
meets the rest of the Hobbits. Viggo Mortensen
instantly impresses, adding a layer of grit and
seriousness to the action.
1:01:01 The gatekeeper at Bree is crushed
by a falling door in a manner that seems
incredibly cartoonish for such a serious
moment. See how it squashes him totally flat! Is
he Road Runner?
1:04:02 The Hobbits get stuck in a swamp
and complain about mosquitoes, then
make camp in a rather unconvincing
studio set. Aragorn sings a song about Luthien
and Beren and Frodo asks him about it.
Hobbits must have fantastic hearing, because
Aragorn mumbles his reply and Frodo hears it
from a long way away. Must be the pointy ears.
1:07:08 The Hobbits reach Weathertop.
This was where the film had an
intermission in some cinemas on the UK
release. You can also spot Weathertop in The
Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey as the
campsite for Azogs Orcs.
1:09:50 Say what you like about Hobbits,
but theyre certainly brave. Check out
how Sam attacks the Ringwraiths and
then Merry and Pippin stand in front of Frodo
to keep him safe. Naturally, once theyre
despatched, Frodo falls over.

1:12:47 Aragorn to the rescue! This was
Mortensens first filmed scene after he
replaced Stuart Townsend in the role,
arriving on set and stepping into another
actors shoes with barely any time to prepare.
Youd never know it.
1:14:35 Sam comments on the fact
theyve found Bilbos trolls. This now
makes a lot more sense if youve seen
The Hobbit
1:15:42 Arwen appears. You can tell shes
an Elf because she comes accompanied
by her own light source, moves in slow-
motion and has a pretty choir soundtracking
her movements. Also, her cloak disappears
when we see her from Frodos point of view: is
this a side-effect of being poisoned, that he can
remove layers of clothing from women? Well
call this a blooper, but there is a chance it was
deliberately filmed this way.
1:17:22 Arwens ride to safety with Frodo doesnt
happen in the original book, but at least its a
chance for a female character to do something.
Also, how rubbish are the Ringwraiths? Theyre
scared of the Brandywine River but quite
happy to ride across an Elvish river with a
powerful Elf waiting for them on the other side.
Horse-wave SMASH! Serves em right.
1:20:29 This bit is rather confusing.
Arwen seems to offer Frodo her grace
to keep him going, but we dont get
much of an explanation for exactly what
happened. Later we find out shes dwindling
away somehow, but never do the films say why
(other than general Elves leaving Middle-earth
ennui, that is).
1:22:00 The eagles save Gandalf from his
imprisonment at Isengard. If only hed asked
them to take Frodo to bloody Mordor, eh?
1:23:14 Rivendell establishing shot. Rivendell is
very pretty. Rivendell should be real. Why isnt
Rivendell real? Hmph.
1:29:39 The shards of Narsil, says
Boromir, having a mooch around one of
the rooms in Rivendell while Aragorn
watches. The blade that cut the ring from
Saurons hand. Still sharp... This is an
interesting little scene character-wise, but its
interesting in another way: the way that
Aragorn stares at Boromir is decidedly
homoerotic. Whats that about?
1:34:00 The slightly extended Council of
Elrond. Famous for being the moment in
the book that many readers cant get
past (wusses), in the film its a beautifully-shot
discussion about what to do. A UN council
meeting, if you will.
1:38:00 One does not simply walk into
Mordor! Ah, the line that launched a
thousand internet memes. We have to
say that Sean Bean is absolutely nailing it as
Boromir: so many levels, and a world-weariness
that makes a lot of sense when you find out
more about him in the second film.
1:39:16 I will take it! yells Frodo, and the way
Gandalf closes his eyes in resignation is a
beautiful touch. You can tell how bad this is
going to be already, even though the next
moments are filled with people swearing to
help him. (Also, the look of disgust on Elronds
face when Hobbits start appearing from every
quarter is priceless.)
DISC TWO
0:00:10 Aragorn visits the grave of his
mother, Gilraen. A nice bit of backstory,
but you can see why it wasnt in the
theatrical release.
0:02:07 Bilbo loses control of himself for a
second and tries to snatch the ring from Frodo.
This totally unexpected scary moment caused
one or two nightmares
Its the pointy ears
that give it away.
Although, oddly, not
this type of water
Pretty, pretty sun-
dappled Rivendell.
Whats the betting he
doesnt last long?!
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0:03:00 Elrond wishes the Fellowship
goodbye and Frodo has to ask if Mordor
is left or right. Its left. Fact for you: left-
handedness has always been associated with
evil; indeed, the Latin word sinestra, which
later morphed into sinister, means left hand.
0:04:00 Lots of shots of New Zealand looking
majestic. You can almost sense the New
Zealand tourist board starting to salivate.
0:05:41 No Gimli, I would not take the roads
through Moria unless I had no other choice,
says Gandalf. So naturally the audience thinks,
Guess well be going through Moria, then.
0:06:06 We get our first real sense that
Legolas is more than just a chap with a
bow who said nice things about
Aragorn at the Council. Here, he spots an
incoming murder of crows with his Elf eyes,
yelling what is surely the franchises most
unintelligible sentence: Crebain from Dunland!
After which 99% of viewers went, Huh?
(Crebain are large crows in Middle-earth.)
0:07:11 He trips over in the snow like the
unsteady Hobbit that he is. But it does
give Boromir an opportunity to pick up
the ring and go on about what a little thing it
is. Alas, its all downhill for Boromir from here
0:08:52 The Fellowship climbs the
mountain route of Caradhras. Notice
how Legolas can walk on the snow
because he is an Elf, while the rest of them
struggle through it. Elves are cool.
0:10:40 You can tell Gandalf is a wizard
because even after an avalanche, his hat
stays on.
0:12:36 A breathless Gimli exclaims, The walls
of Moria! You can imagine him doing that all
the way through the mines, cant you? The
floor of Moria! The tunnels of Moria! The
stairs of Moria!
0:14:47 Any pony-lovers can rest assured
that in the books, Bill gets back to the
Shire safely after Sam sends him off.
0:16:36 In his defence, however, he has
just been grabbed by the Watcher in
the Water
0:24:50 The Fellowship finds the tomb of
Balin, who is played by Ken Stott in the
Hobbit films (set many years before this,
obviously). Beside the tomb is the skeleton of
Ori, played by Adam Brown in the Hobbit
trilogy. His bony fingers are holding the Book
Of Mazarbul, which helpfully explains what
happened to Moria. Points go to Ori for use of
the dramatic phrase drums in the deep.
0:25:45 Pippin drops a skeleton down a well.
Fool of a Took! The sound is astonishing those
drums are exquisitely realised.
0:27:19 The way Boromir sneers, They have a
cave troll, is priceless. And he sounds so
Northern, its as though hes channelling his
other warrior alter-ego, Richard Sharpe.
0:28:24 Aragorn swipes the head of a goblin
clean off its shoulders. Name one person who
didnt cheer when that happened in the cinema
and well show you a filthy goblin-lover.
0:30:26 The cave troll surprises him and
off he goes.
0:31:39 He hits the ground after being
skewered. Guess we should probably let
him off this one.
0:32:03 The cave troll raises a hand to its
mouth pathetically after Legolas shoots
him. This kind of anthropomorphising of
a monster was a Ray Harryhausen speciality
and Peter Jackson is, unsurprisingly, a massive
Harryhausen fan.
Gimli: The chambers
of Moria!
Frodo surprises
everyone!
Has he spotted some
more crebain?!

0:33:08 Nobody in the entire history of cinema
could have sold the line To the Bridge of
Khazad-dum! as well as Ian McKellen does
here. Its a bit silly, after all.
0:39:30 Gandalf faces off with the Balrog.
YOU SHALL NOT PASS! he yells.
Incidentally, in the book he says You
cannot pass! But its still cool.
0:40:10 As many wags on the internet have
since pointed out, when Gandalf says, Fly, you
fools! before falling to his apparent death, he
might as well have been telling the Fellowship
to use the eagles to get to Mordor. Oh well,
hindsights a wonderful thing and all that.
0:43:40 Haldir has a chat with the
Fellowship. He seems to talk very slowly,
as do Celeborn and Galadriel in the
following scene. Are they all stoned?
0:49:46 As the Elves sing a lament, Sam
comes up with a poem about Gandalfs
fireworks. This proves Sam isnt much of
a poet, but his hearts in the right place.
0:51:24 ? Boromir tells Aragorn, My
father is a noble man. His father is
Denethor, played by Fringe star John
Noble. So hes right!
0:54:28 Frodo looks into Galadriels
magic pool and sees the Shire being
razed by the forces of Sauron. This
actually happens in the books The Scouring
Of The Shire but was dropped from the
movies because, lets face it, the final film went
on for long enough as it was.
1:04:36 Oh look, more scenery-porn to please
the New Zealand tourist board.
1:06:00 Boromir and Aragorn discuss the
fact that Gollum is following them, then
have a bit of a chat about the ring. This
is all build-up to Boromirs betrayal in the next
few minutes
1:12:28 Frodo runs away from Boromir
and hits the ground. To even the odds,
Boromir himself slips over a few
moments later. Must be contagious.
1:15:29 Frodos sword glows blue and
Aragorn tells him to run but he seems
to know which direction the Uruk-hai
are coming from without checking first. Is he
psychic? However, this small hiccup doesnt
matter because suddenly theyre on him and a
marvellous fight ensues. Gotta love how
Aragorn raises his sword to salute the lead
Uruk-hai before it starts, too. Cool factor: 1,000.
1:16:23 The Hobbit tumbles down a hill
while running away. Because of course
he does.
1:17:50 Merry and Pippin are trapped by the
Uruk-hai... and Boromir comes flying to the
rescue! He completely redeems himself for
attacking Frodo during this fight; therefore, he
dies an honourable death.
1:18:08 Legolas proves his archery skills,
managing to kill six opponents with six arrows.
Incidentally, theres something to be said for
holding the camera still and just letting the
action happen: this is one of those times where
it works a treat.
1:18:24 Check out this wonderful crane-
shot down the hill towards the battling
Boromir you get a real sense of how
many Uruk-hai hes really up against. You also
have to bear in mind that the actors wearing
Uruk-hai masks couldnt see where they were
going as they ran down that slope; kudos to
them for being so brave!
1:19:43 The dramatic impact of Boromir
being hit with his first arrow is slightly
undermined by the fact that theres a
statue of what seems to be Alec Guinness as
Obi-Wan Kenobi directly behind him.
Hang in there Gandalf.
The eagles are coming.
Frodo blubs almost as
often as he falls over.
Gimli sure knows how
to wield an axe.
Galadriel talks
verrry sloooowwly.
THRILLED
ENTERTAINED
NODDING OFF
ZZZZZZZZZZ
RUNNING TIME (MINS) 0 30 60 90 120 150 180 210
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EXCITE-O-METER
1:21:19 Earlier we were wondering if the
Ringwraiths were stupid; now its time
to doubt the Uruk-hai. They sweep up
Merry and Pippin and run off with them, but
wouldnt it have been better to check with
them first that they hadnt stashed the ring
somewhere safe? Even if the Uruk-hai didnt
know why they were capturing Hobbits, surely
Saruman must have mentioned that he wanted
an item they were carrying rather than simply
the Hobbits themselves!
1:21:37 The creaking of the Uruk-hais bow as he
pulls back an arrow to finish Boromir off is a
gorgeous piece of sound design.
1:22:09 Aragorn fights with the lead Uruk-hai and
the creature stops for a moment to lick blood
off a knife. Cool factor: minus 1,000.
1:22:40 Be warned: heres a mistake that
may well ruin Boromirs death scene for
you, so dont read on if you dont want
to know Still here? Okay. When we see
Aragorn leaning over Boromir from behind,
Boromirs hand is on his left shoulder. When we
see Boromirs point of view looking up, his
hand is nowhere in sight. Oops.
1:24:19 I would have followed you, my brother.
My captain. My king... For an actor who has
made a career out of dying on screen, our
familiarity with watching him pop his clogs
hasnt hurt Sean Beans ability to break our
hearts. That was the most heroic death Ive
ever done, Bean told us. And it was a really
good send-off, so I quite enjoyed that. If you
can enjoy being killed! RIP Boromir.
1:26:30 In a story thats become part of
the legend around the filming of these
movies, when Sean Astin waded into
the water to follow Frodo, he cut his foot on a
piece of glass and had to go to hospital. Ouch.
1:27:20 The shots of Sam underwater
were actually filmed dry his hair is
moving thanks to a wind machine!
1:29:28 Note how Legolas has a full
quiver of arrows on his back as he
discusses whether to go after Frodo
and Sam with Aragorn.
1:31:03 The film ends with Frodo and Sam
heading off towards a Mordor thats glowing
red on the horizon. It actually looks surprisingly
close. They could probably drive there in a few
hours. Or fly there in a few ticks if only theyd
bothered to talk to the eagles...
1:57:29 The credits on this Extended Edition end.
Thats right, theyre more than 16 minutes long.
The film lists the many charter members of The
Lord Of The Rings Official Fan Club who each
paid $39.95 for the privilege.
A couple of eagles and
theyd be there in a shot.
END
Lots of talking in Lothlorien
Boromir gets
Beaned The Balrog!
Lots of talking in Rivendell Bilbo and Gollum!
Drums in
the deep...
Avalanche!
The Watcher
in the Water
Gandalf turns up
Wizard reworks.
Oooh! Ahhh!
Hiding from the
Ringwraiths
The ring at
the Inn
Weathertop
ruckus
Arwens
ride
Boromir shufes off
this mortal coil. Sob.
The effects team turns
wind into water.
95

THE TWO TOWERS

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0:09:06 Gollum climbs down a cliff
towards the sleeping Hobbits, all the
while talking to himself at normal
volume without the faintest attempt at a
whisper. No wonder they knew he was coming!
Silly Gollum.
0:09:58 Frodo is tossed to one side and
tumbles to the floor in the fight with
Gollum. Given that this is our first real
look at the CGI fella, its a mighty impressive
one: hes interacting with the real world
(namely the Hobbits as he wrestles with them)
as though hes really there, in a feat that
involved both Andy Serkis in person and lots
of play-acting from Wood and Astin. Theres
also a moment in which he puffs out his
cheeks thats startlingly realistic. Kudos to
those clever boffins at Weta Digital for their
Gollum-wrangling.
0:11:00 Gollum begs and screams to be
released from the Elvish rope the
Hobbits have tied around his neck, but
why he cant take it off himself is a bit of a
mystery. It isnt even tight! Perhaps he should
have been shown trying to do it and failing it
is Elvish rope, after all...
0:01:46 We see Gandalf face off with the
Balrog again in a segment that could just as
easily have been called Previously on The
Lord Of The Rings! This time, however, we
follow him as he falls And boy, is it a long
way down. People have skydived to the
Earth from the edge of space in less time
than this.
0:04:00 The Two Towers title card
appears over a shot of Sam and Frodo
descending a rock face. We also find
out how they keep reusing the same rope its
real Elvish rope, and magically unties behind
them. Cooooool.
0:06:47 A vision of Saurons giant fiery
eye sends Frodo down onto his bum.
For the first time, he mentions that the
ring is getting heavier.
0:08:48 Sam remarks on a nasty stink and
wonders if theres a bog nearby. Frodo tells
him, Were not alone. From this little
exchange, are we to assume that Gollum
smells like a bog? Wed have definitely
pegged him as more of a fish-stinker,
ourselves
0:11:07 Every Orc in Mordors going to hear
this racket! Sam says about Gollum.
Although he doesnt so much say it as YELL IT!
Pot, meet kettle!
0:14:40 The Uruk-hai carrying Merry and
Pippin meet a band of Orcs: clearly
these guys hate each other. It seems
theres a class system in the world of Tolkiens
creatures; Uruk-hai are at the top of the
ladder, Orcs are lower and wed guess that
Goblins are the ones they both look down on.
This is actually suggested in Tolkiens books,
as the Orcs talk a kind of Cockney-English that
implies theyre working-class types. In a
Dickens novel theyd be chimney sweeps.
0:17:00 Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli race
through the countryside. This segment,
yet again, could be sponsored by the
New Zealand tourist board. Joking aside,
visitors to the country did jump by 40 per
cent from 2000-2006, largely due to the
success of the films. Another note: during the
filming of these running scenes, Mortensen
had two broken toes, Bloom had a cracked rib
and John Rhys-Daviess double, Brett Beattie,
had a dislocated knee. Not a fun day for them!
n
Year: 2002
n
n
Writers: JRR Tolkien, Fran Walsh
n
Starring: Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, Viggo Mortensen
THE TWO TOWERS
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F
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G
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W
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D
V
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The Two Towers Key
TRIVIA: Interesting
Rings factoids
BONUS: Extended
edition extras
DID YOU SPOT?:
Missed moments
GOOFS: Bloopers
and gaffes
WTF?!: Did that
really happen!?
FRODO FALLS: This
happens a lot
One little move sh-breath
and youre skewered!
ONE
DRINK
TWO
DRINKS
THREE
DRINKS
n
Frodo ngers the
ring, or goes a
bit weird
because of it.
n
Sam is horrible
to Gollum.
n
Eowyn moons
over Aragorn.
n
Gandalf is
unnecessarily
cryptic.
n
Gollum talks to
his other half.
n
A shot of people
looking scared in
the caves under
Helms Deep.
DRINK EVERY TIME...

A million teenage
hearts utter.
Horse whisperer
extraordinaire.
Why cant we have
some meats?
0:18:25 Legolas utters the immortal line:
Theyre taking the Hobbits to
Isengard! Do we have to tell you why
this has become legendary? If you dont know,
please type these words into YouTube and
watch the video that comes up. Well wait.
0:20:12 Saruman tells his lackey to burn the
forest of Fangorn. Hell be regretting that
later, ho ho!
0:22:19 In a scene that helps to make the
following action make a lot more sense,
we see Eomer and his troops
discovering the half-dead Theodred after an
Orc massacre.
0:24:00 Blimey, our first glimpse of Theoden is a
bit of a shock. He needs a bath, some hair dye
and a shot of Viagra, pronto.
0:27:46 While discussing the forest,
Merry tells Pippin about something in
the water that could make trees come
alive. Alive! gasps Pippin, shocked. It seems
Hobbits dont realise that trees are, um, living
things already.
0:28:00 The Orc who wants to eat the
Hobbits is named Snaga and is played
by Jed Brophy, who went on to play
Nori in the Hobbit movies. This isnt Jeds only
role in The Two Towers: he also plays Sharku,
the nasty Warg-rider who tangles with
Aragorn later on.
0:28:50 And so a question we raised during our
Fellowship annotation is answered... The
Uruk-hai leader tells the Orcs that Saruman
wants the Hobbits because they are
carrying an Elvish weapon. So they do know
that the Hobbits were supposed to be
carrying something, yet they still didnt
check before they started on this journey
that they hadnt hidden the weapon
somewhere! Fool of an Uruk-hai!
0:29:17 An Orc is eaten in a cannibalistic
frenzy. Note the intestines flying into
the air: Peter Jackson did, after all,
make his mark in such gore-tastic films as
Bad Taste and Brain Dead
0:30:06 Pippin is threatened by one of
the Rohirrims horses. In one shot, his
hands are tied; when he rolls over,
theyre untied. Did a scene of the ropes being
cut get, er, cut?
0:30:19 Legolas: A red sun rises... blood has
been spilled tonight. Wow, in Middle-earth
they take things a lot more seriously than our
Red sky in the morning, shepherds warning
nonsense, dont they?
0:33:31 Eomer whistles, calls their names and
two horses trot over to him, riderless. If we
werent already tipped off to the fact that the
Riders Of Rohan are good with horses (one of
them firing a bow and arrow from a galloping
horse earlier was a sure sign), then this is the
guarantee. Hell, most humans cant even get
their dogs to come when theyre called.
0:34:48 Aragorn kicks a helmet in
frustration because he thinks Merry and
Pippin are dead. This was how
Mortensen broke two of his toes; the scream
he lets out is a scream of pain. Because it was
the best take, it got used regardless.
0:35:40 Somewhat belatedly, we see Pippin
sawing his bound hands apart. Better late than
never, eh?
0:36:37 Aragorn deduces that the
Hobbits have run into Fangorn Forest.
Fangorn, breathes Gimli, shocked.
What madness drove them in there? Hmm,
lets see: how about the contingent of Uruk-hai
and Orcs behind them, not to mention the
horsemen currently riding around killing
everything in sight?
97

THE TWO TOWERS

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The trees are ALIVE!
The years have not been
kind to Theoden.
Hes back from the
dead. Hurrah!
Close your gob! That
water looks icky.
I see dead people.
0:36:57 For this sequence inside the
forest, the cut on Merrys head has
swapped sides, as have the marks on
Pippins cheek.
0:38:22 Treebeard picks up the Hobbits
(incidentally, the marks on Pippins face have
now totally vanished) and goes for a wander.
In retrospect, its a shame that John Rhys-
Davies voices the Ent: despite some vocal
effects, he still sounds identical to Gimli.
0:41:40 Gollum catches a worm and
sucks it down like spaghetti. Bizarrely,
Gollum is at his most endearing when
hes complaining about being hungry or
when hes eating something although it
makes sense when you consider that hes
fundamentally a Hobbit, albeit a scrawny
naked one. And we all know how much they
love food.
0:44:31 He splashes into the Dead
Marshes, and then rather weirdly
forgets to close his mouth while hes
underwater with all the dead bodies. Ew.
0:47:11 As the Nazgul approach, Frodo
feels a twinge from his sword-wound
and collapses. And yes, it totally still
counts as a fall if he was already sitting down.
0:47:50 We see a Black Rider atop his steed.
Then, as the camera pulls out, we see that its
not a horse at all its a honking great dragon-
thing! (Their technical name is Fell Beast, but
we prefer honking great dragon-thing.) Its a
brilliant psych-out moment, followed by some
truly scary swooping and screaming.
0:50:27 Legolas strokes an arrow in a
surprisingly erotic manner. What? Just saying
0:51:15 Gandalf makes his big
reappearance as Gandalf The (Persil)
White. We finally get to see what
happened with the Balrog, before theres some
jiggery-pokery about Gandalf being
resurrected. A Christ metaphor, perhaps?
Although perhaps not Tolkiens work wasnt
really Christian in its origins (unlike his friend
CS Lewis). Either way, hes back now, and his
black eyebrows dont match his hair. Tsk.
0:54:10 Gandalf mentions that Merry and
Pippin might be able to unleash a giant
force in the forest (ie wake up all the
trees). But you have to wonder why he left
them to do it instead of having a word with
the Ents himself surely theyd respect him
more than a pair of Hobbits? Imagine the time
they would have saved! Its like the eagle thing
all over again. Wizards are weird.
0:54:53 Another example of great horsemanship:
Gandalf whistles for his horse, Shadowfax, and
up he gallops. Generations of horse-owners
seethe with envy. May we also say that not
since the days of the Lloyds Bank adverts has
an equine galloped so beautifully.
0:55:49 Gandalf doesnt use a bridle or
reins for any of his riding scenes: he
just sits bolt upright and Shadowfax
knows where to go.
0:58:20 Gandalf and Aragorn discuss
Sauron. Well, Aragorn stands and
listens while Gandalf spouts a ton of
exposition. Guess this bit is for all the viewers
who got lost along the way.
1:01:35 A pair of chained-up cave trolls open the
Black Gate into Mordor. You have to feel sorry
for them; theyre the Rancors of Middle-earth.
1:05:20 Merry and Pippin drink some
water and get a bit bigger; then a tree
tries to eat them. This is an odd little
scene and its omission from the theatrical
version is perfectly understandable. But you
can understand why Jackson and co wanted
to keep it: its actually a moment from the
Fellowship Of The Ring book that didnt make
it into the film (along with Tom Bombadil).

1:10:44 The beautiful city of Edoras was
built by the Rangitata River among the
Potts Range in Canterbury. Once seen
as remote and almost untouched by humans,
its becoming a popular tourist destination
thanks to the films, and there are many
location tours available.
1:17:49 The backwards ageing of King Theoden
is bloody extraordinary. Guess Gandalf
brought him some Viagra after all.
1:19:07 Some love here must also go to Howard
Shores strings on the score truly majestic.
The Rohan music is some of the best in the
entire trilogy, perfectly evoking the landscape
and nature of the country.
1.20:49 Where is Theodred? Where is my
son? asks Theoden. Rather distractingly, this
was where the intermission took place in
many UK cinemas.
1:27:00 Aragorn helps to calm a horse in
the stables. Turn this fellow free, he
says. He has seen enough of the war.
This little scene explains why Brego the
horse in question turns up later to save
Aragorn after the Warg attack. Without this
knowledge, hes just a random horse who likes
to wander up to injured humans and lick them.
1:35:20 Masters my friend, says Smeagol. You
dont have any friends! replies Gollum. Its a
scientific fact that this exchange made more
people laugh in cinemas than any other
moment in The Lord Of The Rings trilogy.
1:39:43 Oliphaunts! We hate to backtrack on our
earlier comments, but these guys are definitely
cooler than the honking great dragon-things
ridden by the Nazgul. Again, as with the cave
trolls, these guys have been enslaved and you
have to feel sorry for them as theyre attacked
by Faramirs men.
1:41:00 Faramir gives a little soliloquy
about a fallen Haradrim soldier, just so
we know he has a softer side.
DISC TWO
0:00:00 Theoden and Aragorn discuss
Eowyn. Theyre already setting her up
as a potential love match for Aragorn,
although we know that he prefers pointy ears.
We also discover that Aragorn is a whopping
87 years old: this is because he is one of the
long-lived race of men known as Dunedain.
0:06:00 A flashback sequence to
Rivendell shows Aragorn trying to
break up with Arwen because he
knows shell live forever and he wont. More
importantly, were left wondering (not for the
first time) why the font the DVD makers have
used for the subtitles is so ugly. Elvish is such
a beautiful language would a few pretty,
curly letters have been out of the question?
0:10:18 If theres one moment in the
entire trilogy in which the CGI isnt
quite up to snuff, its the shot of
Legolas hurling himself onto Gimlis horse
during the Warg attack. A pity, because if it
had worked and we recognise that it must
have been a tricky one to pull off then it
would have looked super cool.
0:15:14 An observation about the
otherwise truly impressive set of Helms
Deep: the battlements dont have a wall
or railings behind them, so soldiers can easily
step back from surveying the land before the
keep and then fall into the drop below. Health
and safety, chaps. Health and safety.
0:16:30 Eowyn looks heartbroken to hear
that Aragorn has died, although, rather
oddly, she doesnt show any interest in
who else might have carked it during the
battle with the Wargs, even though she
probably knew most of them far better than
she knew Aragorn.
The years are getting
much kinder
A ringside seat at the
Oliphaunt show
and the six-tusked
beasts are awesome.
If I stare really hard
hell surely notice me.
99

THE TWO TOWERS

SFX

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0:18:19 A marvellous moment, this. Saruman
shows Grima the true extent of his army
before sending them to Helms Deep to wipe
out the people of Rohan. Grimas response?
He weeps a single tear, clearly overwhelmed at
the cold reality of his treachery. For a moment,
hes almost human again.
0:20:39 Brego finds Aragorn. One thing:
given that he was set free, why is he
still wearing a bridle? Was he going to
be stuck with it forever? Poor thing!
Mortensen liked this horse so much he actually
purchased him; his real name was Uraeus.
0:22:00 Arwens vision of her life without
Aragorn is heartbreaking. That is all.
0:24:50 A curious scene in which Galadriel tells
Elrond whats going on with Saruman and
Rohan through the psychic power of her
mind! While its probably necessary if youve
lost track of the plot, its a peculiar idea.
0:26:56 Faramir consults a map of
Middle-earth. Helms Deep doesnt have
an apostrophe. Noooooooooooo!
Thats it, the entire trilogy is ruined! Oh,
wait, hang on. Tolkien left the apostrophe
off his maps as well. Fair enough.
Emergency over.
0:29:40 Frodo and Faramir get to know
each other. When Frodo mentions
Boromir, Faramir says that his horn
was washed up on a riverbank six days
previously, cloven in two. And yet when
Boromir was laid to rest after fighting the
Uruk-hai, his horn was still in one piece
(blimey, its hard to say that without sounding
dirty). So who sliced it up?
0:30:03 Faramir sees a vision of his
brothers funeral boat. Then theres a
big flashback to Boromir reclaiming
Osgiliath for his people. That scene was shot
15 months later after principal photography,
says John Noble, who plays Denethor.
[Producer] Barrie Osborne called and said,
We need to do a scene because Faramirs
being introduced and were concerned people
wont understand him. Can you come and film
it? And they were lucky enough to get Sean
and David [Wenham], too. And they shot it in
a day, which is pretty quick... In my opinion, it
should have gone in the film, and many people
were very upset that it didnt, including Barrie.
But it was necessary to leave it out; introduce
a new character in a flashback, you know...?
0:40:16 Some very wonky editing here: it
appears that two totally different
scenes have been spliced together!
We see Sam and Frodo chatting in front of
some barrels, but when Faramir walks in
and they both jump to their feet, the barrels
are totally missing and the lights
completely changed.
0:42:40 Todays shots of Aragorn riding through
the scenery on a horse are brought to you by
Pure New Zealand. Be sure to book a holiday
with us soon!
0:44:00 A close-up of Aragorns bloody
hand is a prime example of the
verisimilitude of this film (er, not that
they used real blood, mind you). Any shots of
Mortensens hands have invariably featured
skinned knuckles, grime, blood and general
wear and tear. Because Mortensen is famously
Method with his acting, we suspect much of
the crap on his hands was real particularly
the odd black fingernail, probably earned
during fight scenes.
0:50:27 Peter Jacksons kids cameo again.
0:50:35 Lots of moody tension-building here, as
Aragorn and Legolas discuss the fact that the
soldiers of Rohan are made up of men who
have seen too many winters or too few.
Theres a real sense of despair as the time for
battle approaches, and its exquisitely handled.
Oh Grima what
have you done
Theres something
in our eye.
In Elvish Faramir means
jewelled hunter.
Horse drool will
make it all better.

0:52:20 Somehow, the sight of King Theoden
having his armour put on him while he recites a
poem becomes one of the most moving scenes
in the entire trilogy. Bernard Hill is perfect here.
How did it come to this? Ooh, it gives you
tingles. To go from this scene to a bunch of
Ents standing around in a forest clearing seems
a little sacrilegious. It did work, said Bernard
Hill when we mentioned it to him. Hes such a
great filmmaker, Pete, he kind of knew that at
that stage in the film you needed something
that was going to slow it down, take it more
into the mythical area; so you had a link and a
memory to the other aspect of the stories the
mythical characters, the Hobbits, Gollum.
Because youre dealing very much with the
world of man.
0:56:30 Here come the Elves! The Elves are here!
The Elves will save them! Yay for the Elves! ...
Sorry, getting a bit carried away. Although not
as much as Aragorn, who gives Haldir a giant
bear hug because hes so happy to see him.
0:58:06 And now for the second-funniest
moment of the trilogy: Gimli moaning, You
could have picked a better spot! as he tries to
see over the battlements. With so much tension
in these scenes, its a joy to have something to
laugh about (thats good screenwriting, right
there). Of course, it doesnt last long
0:58:34 The sound of rain hitting metal armour
and marching Uruk-hai feet combine to build
the tension even further. Seriously, could this
even get any more tense?
0:59:00 Fran Walsh makes a cameo.
1:01:10 The Uruk-hai charge. So it begins, says
King Theoden. By which he means, One of the
greatest battles in the history of cinema.
1:05:46 Is this it? asks Theoden. Is this all you
can conjure, Saruman? Dont goad him, you
fool! Or at least touch wood when you say stuff
like that. Jeez.
1:06:06 The Uruk-hai racing towards the
gunpowder like a runner with an Olympic
torch is surprisingly humorous until you
realise what hes about to do. When the wall
goes boom, its spectacular.
1:07:19 Oh look, its Peter Jackson this time as a
soldier throwing a spear. Hes a man for all
seasons, isnt he?
1:08:15 Heres a moment for Legolas-
lovers: he throws his shield to the floor
and shield-boards it down a staircase,
firing at bad guys. Its proper Errol Flynn stuff,
and the response to this scene was so huge
that Jackson deliberately threw in a similar
moment in The Return Of The King (well let
you know what it is when we come to it). Of
course, looking at it cold right now, it does
seem a little silly particularly when the stairs
seem to go on for way too long...
1:10:03 Poor Haldir bites the dust. Its serious stuff
when Elves die they live forever, after all
hence the slow-motion and choir as he shuffles
off this mortal coil. Its a very emotional scene,
given that we barely know Haldir... although, as
actor Craig Parker pointed out, Im helped
incredibly by the fabulous editing and the most
beautiful music its just exquisite. You could
have a scene of a puppy and youd cry!
1:13:14 We know that Aragorn is special,
but after fighting for hours, how on
Earth does he still have the strength to
pick up Gimli and throw him all that way? A few
scenes later he also grabs a rope and hangs on
to both himself and the Dwarf as theyre
yanked up the wall.
1:18:02 Its pitch-black at Helms Deep,
daylight as Frodo and Faramir get their
first view of Osgiliath, and daylight
when Treebeard discovers the massacre of his
tree friends. Is Helms Deep in a different time
zone to everyone else?
Looks like were in
for a right Barney!
Hes not one for
quitting. Yay Aragorn!
The Battle of
the Hornburg.
And not a moment
too soon, Haldir.
THRILLED
ENTERTAINED
NODDING OFF
ZZZZZZZZZZ
RUNNING TIME (MINS) 0 30 60 90 120 150 180 210
101

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EXCITE-O-METER
1:19:57 The last march of the Ents, declares a
furious Treebeard, as the forest comes to life
behind him. At last, these trees have stopped
being twee and comical and have become cool.
1.22.55 Its daylight in Helms Deep now. Sunrise
has actually become a plot point, because
thats when we expect Gandalf to return.
1:25:11 Forth Eorlingas! When Theoden charges
its hard not to applaud. Just watch those
horses kick Uruk-hai off the ramp! In other
news, Gimli has been blowing that horn for
ages. Dwarves must have massive lungs.
1:26:13 Gandalf to the rescue! Go Gandalf! Go
Gandalf! Fistpumps ahoy!
1:26:27 One thing though: the hill Gandalf,
Eomer and the rest of the horsemen
ride down is impossibly steep. Forget a
triumphant ride into battle; those horses would
have slid down on their arses.
1:27:58 An Ent picking up two Orcs and bashing
their heads together? Dont mind a bit of that!
1:29:00 The dam breaks and water races towards
Isengard. A burning tree runs forward and
douses its branches in the torrent. What a
fantastic touch, eh?
1:30:17 Frodo stands on a rooftop before a flying
Nazgul and goes to put on the ring. A simple
idea thats absolutely creep-tastic in its
execution, although naturally, given that this is
Frodo, its followed by him falling over.
1:30:35 Sam yanks him off the rooftop and
saves his life. Were not quite sure how
two Hobbits can fall off a rooftop and
not be hurt, but there you go. Maybe they
bounce?
1:31:50 Sams speech about the great stories and
how even darkness must pass is terribly cheesy.
But who cares? Its perfect. Even Gollum seems
moved, although not enough to stop him
betraying Frodo in the next film, the stinker.
1:34:32 There are a few extra scenes here:
its great fun watching the forest wiping
out the Uruk-hai, even though we dont
actually get to see any of it; Merry and Pippin
have a comedy moment in the waters around
Isengard; and Faramir says goodbye to Frodo
and Sam.
1:41:40 Smeagol and Gollum have another
little chat among themselves. We could let
HER do it he mutters. Boy, will it be hard to
forgive him after we meet the her that he
speaks of
1:43:48 The end credits begin. As with the last
film, theyre filled with fan club members and
last for 20-odd minutes this time. Epic!
Its the revenge of
the trees.
Those Elves have got
smart helmets.
Fill your boots, boys!
My, what very big
wings you have.
Wizard
Vs
Balrog
Theyre taking the
Hobbits to Isengard!
Eomer meets the Fellowship
Meet Gandalf The White
Treebeard
awakes!
Gollum vs
Smeagol
Oliphaunts!
Warg mayhem
Boromirs
back!
Where is the horse
and the rider...
Forth
Eorlingas!
The march
of the Ents
Entmoot
Isengard
oods
The Battle commences
END
xxxxxx
ONE
DRINK
TWO
DRINKS
THREE
DRINKS

THE RETURN OF THE KING

SFX

103 www.sfx.co.uk
smoke, like the scallywags they are. Gandalf
mutters, Hobbits! He does look fed up.
Probably wanted some Old Toby for himself.
0:11:00 This entire sequence deals with
the fate of Saruman and was famously
cut out of the theatrical version much
to Christopher Lees annoyance. My point was
not that, as an actor, Id had my scenes taken
out, he told Total Film in 2005. It was the
story. You cant have a man looking frantic on a
balcony while everything is being destroyed
and then never see him again! He may have a
point, but its certainly not an essential scene in
an otherwise overlong film.
0.11. 48 Saruman mumbles a few words
from the top of Isengards tower. Miles
below, everybody can hear him. Were
they all wearing microphones or something?
Their eyelines are all wrong as well the actors
arent craning enough to see.
0:17:54 A beautiful sweeping shot of
Eowyn standing outside the Great Hall
at Edoras, her hair flapping in the wind.
She seems to do a lot of that. Then again, what
else is there is to do at Edoras?
0:00:45 After two films, we finally get to see
Andy Serkis pre-Gollum. Is it just us or does his
voice sound as though hes been inhaling
copious amounts of helium?
0:01:53 Deagol picks up the ring from the
riverbed so it was his hand we saw
way back in the original films prologue!
By the way, most Hobbits cant swim, but
Deagol and Smeagol are descended from the
Stoors Hobbit river people. Theyre the only
Hobbits who can grow beards, too.
0:02:58 Smeagol calls Deagol my love. Hobbits
really arent scared to share their feelings
although he does kill him in the next scene, so
he cant have loved him that much.
0:04:36 My Precious! Poor Smeagol gets one
moment of perfect happiness when he tries on
the ring for the first time, and then its downhill
from there. Eating raw fish, living in caves,
losing his hair and, eventually, his clothes. Pay
attention, kids: rings are bad, mkay?
0:09:03 After a scene catching up with Sam and
Frodo, we see the Fellowship arriving at
Isengard. Merry and Pippin are having a good
0:25:52 Frodo leads Gollum away from Sam as
though hes a dog at his heel. Gollum turns
back and gives Sam a sneaky, knowing glare.
0:26:50 Eowyn tells Aragorn about a
dream she just had. Incidentally, he tells
her that its not yet dawn but the hall
is lit as though its daylight oops.
0:28:44 Pippin steals the Palantir from Gandalf,
but not before he gets a shock: wizards sleep
with their eyes wide open! How cool is that?
0:32:44 Gandalf explains that the forces of
Mordor are going to attack Minas Tirith. Why
should we ride to the aid of those who did
not come to ours? says Theoden. What do
we owe Gondor? And that, right there is
humanity in a nutshell: small and petty.
Bigger picture, Theoden!
0:34:10 How far is Minas Tirith? asks Pippin.
Three days ride, as the Nazgul flies, replies
Gandalf. Or an eagle, of course. Because an
eagle would have covered it much faster. And
you know what, eagles could also fly to wait
for it Mordor! Tell that to Frodo and Sams
aching feet!
n
Year: 2003
n
n
Writers: JRR Tolkien, Fran Walsh, Philippa Boyens, Peter Jackson
n
Starring: Elijah Wood, Viggo Mortensen, Ian McKellen
P
L
E
A
S
E

N
O
T
E
:

F
O
R

T
H
E

P
U
R
P
O
S
E
S

O
F

T
H
E
S
E

G
U
I
D
E
S
,

W
E

H
A
V
E

U
S
E
D

T
H
E

E
X
T
E
N
D
E
D

E
D
I
T
I
O
N
S

O
N

D
V
D
.
n
Frodo witters
on about how
heavy the ring is.
n
Faramir looks
hurt or upset.
n
Arwen or
Galadriel pop up
for no reason.
n
A Fell Beast
grabs a clawful
of warriors and
drops them.
n
Gandalf says
something
portentous.
n
The lm fades to
black or white,
as if its ended,
but it hasnt.
The Fellowship of The Ring Key
TRIVIA: Interesting
Rings factoids
BONUS: Extended
edition extras
DID YOU SPOT?:
Missed moments
GOOFS: Bloopers
and gaffes
WTF?!: Did that
really happen!?
FRODO FALLS: This
happens a lot
Hell be ruing the day he
picked that blinkin ring up.
DRINK EVERY TIME...

T
H
E

K
O
B
A
L

C
O
L
L
E
C
T
I
O
N

Stay away from the
gates Frodo
The menace in the
misty air is palpable.
Did the Queen nick this
idea for her Jubilee?
now look what hes
gone and done.
This Angmar fella
must be proper scary.
0:35:50 We see Arwen and the Elves gliding
through the forest towards the Grey Havens.
Itll take them ages to get there if they keep
walking in slow motion like that.
0:40:10 The broken sword Narsil is re-
forged. Its a good thing all those Elven
blacksmiths hung around in the
deserted Rivendell on the off-chance they were
needed, isnt it?
0:41:10 Gandalf and Pippin ride Shadowfax
through Minas Tirith towards the white tree.
Howard Shores gorgeous string section lets rip
and makes it a horse ride to remember.
0:44:01 Pippin offers his service to Denethor to
repay him for Boromirs sacrifice. For once, he
does something right, although Gandalf looks
rather irritated. You cant win with Gandalf.
0:45:14 A shout-out here for John Noble as
Denethor, sporting a droopy grey wig and
oozing insanity and malice. If Theoden was
petty when he said he didnt want to help
Gondor, Denethors a whole new level of petty,
refusing to give up his Stewardship to the real
King of Gondor (thatll be Aragorn) even as the
armies of Mordor threaten his city. No wonder
the Elves are leaving Middle-earth if this is the
way humans act
0:48:43 Frodo and Sam find a crossroads
with some creepy statues.
0:53:05 Gandalf tells Pippin about the Witch-
King of Angmar, the leader of the Nazgul and
the guy they should fear the most in the
coming battle. Its strange how Gandalf can
defeat a Balrog but looks like hes going to
poop himself about this Angmar chap.
0:54:14 Frodo is drawn towards the
gates of Minas Morgul; there are two
giant horned statues in front of him. If
we didnt know better wed swear these were
the Middle-earth version of the terror dogs
from Ghostbusters
0:54:39 Frodo staggers like a drunk on
his way home from the pub; Sam and
Gollum pull him over.
0:59:43 A horde of Orcs row their way towards
Osgiliath in a surprise attack. This is a truly
creepy scene: the ruins of the town and the
grossness of the Orcs combine to make us very
happy that were not a Gondorian soldier on
this particular night.
1:02:03 Yet again, Shores score makes an
otherwise uninspiring sequence the lighting
of the beacons a truly dramatic and even
emotional experience. You have to wonder
about the poor bastards waiting to light those
beacons, however: where do they sleep? How
do they keep from freezing to death? Or
blowing off the peaks? If only someone would
invent the telephone and save the poor
bastards from their plight!
1:05:04 Gondor calls for aid! cries Aragorn.
Dramatic pause. And Rohan will answer,
declares King Theoden. Hurrah! He saw sense!
Maybe humans arent so bad after all.
1:08:38 Just when you think the poor soldiers of
Osgiliath cant suffer any more, the Nazgul
arrive on their Fell Beasts and start swooping
on men, throwing them all over the place. And
boy, the sight of these creatures chasing the
soldiers out of the town in a frantic horse
stampede is one of the highlights of the entire
trilogy: its the kind of scene fantasy films were
made for.
1:10:05 Theres a Wilhelm Scream as a
soldier flies through the air.
1:10:21 Gandalf lets rip with his staff and beams
of light scare the Fell Beasts away. Its about
time he did something useful
105


SFX

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Anduril means ame
of the west. Fact.
Would you trust this
face? Foolish Frodo.
If your names
not down
1:13:30 Denethor is a total bastard to Faramir. At
least King Theoden was being controlled by
Saruman when we first met him; theres no
excuse for Denethors behaviour. You could
argue that hes been driven mad by grief, but
after meeting him in flashback in The Two
Towers, its clear hes been a git all along.
1:17:05 Faramir has a chat with Pippin,
telling him that his new livery used to
belong to him.
1:19:09 Denethor orders Faramir back into
Osgiliath on a suicide mission. Faramir realises
that his father wishes hed died instead of
Boromir. Oh, the heartbreak! David Wenham
sells his hurt and anguish beautifully. If I should
return, think better of me, father. That sound
you hear is the crack of hearts breaking.
1:23:40 He separates Sam from Gollum
as they fight and then faints.
1:25:00 Frodo, in a fit of paranoia, sends Sam
home. Sam simply bursts into tears and then
lets Frodo go on alone. Wuss.
1:26:10 As the Gondorian soldiers ride
out of Minas Tirith and to their deaths,
townsfolk throw flowers under the
hooves of their horses. Two of the children
watching are Peter Jacksons.
1:27:27 Faramir leads his soldiers to death.
Pippin sings a lament to the oblivious Denethor.
If youre not moved by this sequence, you really
did miss the point.
1:28:30 Billy Boyd wrote the song he
sings himself, and was proud to
contribute to the music used in the
films. Out of the 18 hours I wrote 30 seconds!
1:31:53 Rohan warriors gather at Dunharrow. A
spooky passageway into the mountain which is
freaking out the horses. None who venture
there ever return, explains Eomer. Clearly our
heroes will be venturing there later, then. They
may as well have put a sign on it saying,
Watch this space!
1:35:29 King Theodens tent is pretty cool. This
could be the Rohan version of glamping,
perhaps. Its good to be the king.
1:35:53 Arwen is dying, Elrond tells
Aragorn, pointing out that Arwens life
is tied to the fate of the ring. Is this
because she shared some of her powers with
Frodo? Is it because shes decided to stay in
Middle-earth? Is it because shes in love with
Aragorn? Or is it simply because the writers are
desperately trying to keep her in the film?
1:43:12 An extended sequence following
Aragorn, Gimli and Legolas into
Dwimorberg, the Haunted Mountain. For
once, this is a scene that really should have
stayed in the theatrical version: its great fun in
its own disturbing way, and never have so many
skulls rolled around with such wild abandon.
1:45:50 A soldier rides up behind Merry
and swings him up one-handed. Its
Eowyn. Okay, so Merrys kid-sized, but
hes still wearing armour how was she strong
enough? Is it possible? Someone needs to
recreate this on Mythbusters.
1:47:01 Inside the mountain, Legolas
reveals that he can see shapes of men,
and of horses while Aragorn and Gimli
see nothing. This means that Elves can see
dead people, Haley Joel Osment-style.
Incidentally, Billy Boyd once informed SFX that
Orlando Bloom smells of bubblegum. Always.
Hes bubble-icious. So now you know.
1:49:23 The dead do not suffer the living to
pass, says the ghost in charge of all the
soldiers inside the mountain. You will suffer
me! snaps Aragorn. Insert cheers here.

1:55:25 The Orcs rain severed heads down on
Minas Tirith. (The Lord Of The Rings: not for
kids.) Denethor takes one look at the armies
marshalled before his city and you can almost
hear the pinging in his head as the cogs come
loose a few seconds later, hes completely
insane. Hurrah for Gandalf, then, knocking
Denethor out and taking control of his forces!
DISC TWO
0:00:35 The Corsair that Legolas
accidentally kills with an arrow is
Peter Jackson.
0:00:38 Boarded? By you and whose
army? yells a Corsair. By this army,
Aragorn replies, and the ghostly
warriors surge towards the ship. Lets face it,
if you were a Corsair, youd s**t yourself.
0:02:10 Frodo enters the tunnels
belonging to what we soon realise is a
big-ass spider. In the book, the tunnels
are completely dark Tolkien does a wonderful
job of describing Frodo and Sams growing
terror as they cant see where they are but
that clearly wouldnt work on screen. Sadly, this
means that when Frodo (on his own here) uses
the light of Elendil given to him by Galadriel, it
doesnt have quite such a vivid effect.
0:04:20 He panics and stumbles into a
sticky patch of spider-webs.
0:05:26 Shelob makes her debut. Shes
very, very old and, in case you were
wondering, she is responsible for all
those nasty spiders that attacked Bilbo and the
Dwarves in The Hobbit.
0:05:45 Because of course you want to
fall over if youre running away from a
Hobbit-eating spider.
0:08:15 Gollum charges him and he hits
the ground. On the plus side, Gollum
then goes flying down a cliff.
0:08:49 Now he collapses, but at least he
gets to have a nice little dream in which
Galadriel talks to him.
0:10:10 Merry and the undercover Eowyn
have a chat. Its odd how nobody looks
twice at her even though shes taken her
helmet off and is quite clearly a lady.
0:14:11 The giant battering ram fondly known by
the Orcs as Grond finally breaks its way into
Minas Tirith. You are soldiers of Gondor! You
will stand your ground! yells Gandalf. The cave
trolls that walk through the door instantly start
throwing soldiers all over the place. What does
Gandalf know anyway?
0:15:33 Frodo gets poisoned by Shelob. Its
supposed to be dramatic but theres something
about Elijah Woods grunts and groans that
make it unexpectedly hilarious (sorry).
Thankfully Sam pops up and attacks Shelob in
whats actually a very cool fight love how
Shelob casually kicks the light of Elendil out of
the way!
0:18:20 While we may have sniggered at the
sight of Frodo frothing at the mouth after
being stung, theres nothing funny about his
little (apparently) dead face after Sam clears
the cobwebs off him. It was a perfect psych-out
in the book and works just as well here.
0:22:35 Pippin grabs Gandalf from the
middle of battle to tell him that
Denethor is about to toast his son.
As they ride through the city, the Witch-
King suddenly lands in front of them. He
breaks Gandalfs staff, the bastard! Luckily,
hes distracted by the arrival of the Rohirrim
and doesnt kill the wizard it would have
been interesting to see what would have
happened if Theoden had arrived a few
minutes later.
An aura of terror
overhead.
The charge of the
phantom menace.
A face not even a
mother could love.
Thats last weeks
dinner right there.
107


SFX

www.sfx.co.uk
0:26:30 King Theodens troops ride into battle.
Although Helms Deep is regarded by most
as the best battle in the Lord Of The Rings
films, theres no denying that this is possibly
the most epic in scope. Its tough on the
horses, though...
0:29:47 His funeral pyre goes awry and
Denethor runs out of the tomb and off a
cliff. And bloody hell, does he run a long
way for a man consumed in flames...
0:30:24 A truly affecting moment, as the camera
focuses on Theodens shocked face as he
realises that the Haradrim and their enormous
Oliphaunts, also known as Mumakil have
entered the battle. The Oliphaunts are truly
astonishing; theyre whats been missing from
every war movie ever made (although The
Empire Strikes Back did a little homage with
its AT-ATs).
0:34:20 Merry acquits himself beautifully as he
gets stuck into the fight. Eowyn also punches
the Orc leader, Gothmog, right in the kisser.
This is why you shouldnt discriminate against
women and short people, folks.
0:38:05 The Black Ships arrive at the battle as
do the ghosts. Aragorns charge here is a
fist-pump moment and no mistake.
0:38:46 You fool no man can kill me! gloats
the Witch-King. I am no man, declares Eowyn,
and kills him. Women everywhere cheer.
0:40:15 Legolas gets to do some showing
off in this shameless crowd-pleaser.
Watch as he climbs the tusk of an
Oliphaunt, then up its leg, then onto its back to
kill every Haradrim riding it (counting as he
does so, because hes keeping a running tally).
Then he swings around for a bit so he can cut
off the saddle and finally shoots three arrows at
once into the Mumakils head, surfs down its
trunk and lands on the ground as the beast
collapses behind him. That still only counts as
one! grunts Gimli. Its ludicrous, but who
cares? Legolas! Legolas! Legolas!
0:40:40 Theres a Wilhelm Scream when
a soldier falls off the Oliphaunt.
0:41:50 Its goodbye to King Theoden. Hes been
a grumpy old sod over the last two films, but
its a hard heart that isnt affected by his death,
or by Miranda Ottos performance as she weeps
over him. Hankies ahoy!
0:41:25 Bernard Hills eyes flickered as he was
supposed to be lying dead its tough not to
blink when theres a wind machine blowing
over your face. His eyelids were later kept open
by CGI.
0:45:46 The Houses of Healing sequence
was completely omitted from the
theatrical release. It expands upon a
subplot from the book which sees Eowyn and
Faramir fall in love while they recover from
battle injuries, but as this happens over a
period of time, it doesnt really fit in with the
rest of the films action. Its clunkily reinstated
here just before Pippin finds Merry on the
battlefield, implying that the poor Hobbit was
lying out there for weeks.
0:48:11 Frodo wakes up half-naked and tied up
in the Tower of Cirith Ungol. This scene inspired
some interesting responses from fans who saw
Frodo and Sam as more than friends. When we
interviewed Sean Astin a few years back, he
mentioned some artwork made by a fan: It
wasnt really erotic, but it was kind of
suggestive it was this poster-sized image of
the Tower of Cirith Ungol with Frodo with his
shirt off and Sam sort of looking at him. But the
way theyd rendered Frodo was like the cover
of one of those romance novels! And my
assistant actually put it up in my bathroom,
behind my office door, so I went in and was
startled to see this giant image of me looking
longingly at this quite svelte Frodo
Eowyn does
wide-eyed so well.
Ouch
For a minute there, he
had us worrried
That Legolas, hes just
a big show-off.

0:51:22 Somehow Sam runs up every step in the
absolutely enormous tower.
0:52:36 You can see chafing around
Frodos neck where the weight of the
ring has eaten into his skin. The rings
weight isnt just psychological; its physical, too.
0:56:17 Aragorn reveals himself to Sauron
through the Palantir. Sauron is not best
pleased
0:58:50 Frodo and Sam get swept up in a
column of marching Orcs.
1:00:27 Frodo collapses under the weight
of the ring.
1:02:00 The black lands of Mordor were
inspired by the volcanic wastes of
Iceland. A few purists have actually
complained that the films should have been
shot there instead of New Zealand.
1:02:26 That rings heavy again...
1:04:43 I dont think therell be a return journey,
Master Frodo, Sam says. Isnt it odd how Sam
insists on calling him Master even after
everything theyve been through, and it never
occurs to Frodo to say, Just call me Frodo.
Class distinctions, eh? They survive the wilds of
Mordor and the prospect of certain death.
1:05:40 This is the most dramatic fall of
all, as Frodo collapses in front of
Saurons giant fiery eye in an
extraordinarily over-the-top manner.
1:07:00 The Mouth Of Sauron rides out
to meet our heroes from the Black Gate
of Mordor. He has the most bizarre set
of teeth in the entire trilogy: he wouldnt be out
of place in a Hellraiser movie.
1:08:00 The Mouth Of Sauron produces Frodos
mithril shirt to prove that theyve killed him,
lying through his (enormous) teeth about
having tortured him. This changes the entire
nature of the final battle far from it being a
last-ditch attempt to help Frodo, it becomes
vengeance. Which explains why Aragorn
yells,For Frodo! later (even if hes not
entirely convinced hes dead).
1:11:03 He slips over on the rocky slopes
of Mount Doom. You have to feel for
him here, though: hes so determined to
get to the crater that he starts crawling.
1:14:09 Sam finally has a eureka moment. I cant
carry it for you, but I can carry you! And this
said, he scoops Frodo up into his arms and
does just that. Bravo, Sam! And bravo to Sean
Astin, who does a terrific job with this
important scene.
1:16:04 Noooooo! In spite of being
carried by Sam, an unexpected attack
from Gollum causes them both to go
flying. Bad Gollum! And blimey, he really is
indestructible, isnt he? Didnt he fall off a cliff?
1:17:49 The eagles are coming! yells Pippin, as
a giant bird brings down a Fell Beast. WHAT
BLOODY KEPT THEM? asks everybody else.
1:18:33 Frodo is finally inside Mount
Doom. Meanwhile, all we can think is:
who built that precipice overlooking the
lava? And why? Is it solely there for ring-
throwing duties?
1:19:20 Uh-oh. Frodo cant throw the ring into
the lava. Its all gone wrong!
1:20:40 You have to feel for the CGI team here:
trying to animate an invisible Hobbit with a
Gollum on his back without making things look
silly must have been a gargantuan task. Luckily
they achieve the desired result but only just.
Gandalf looks like he
needs a pair of specs.
Denite signs of
gingivitis.
Yay! Saurons all-
seeing eye crumbles.
Throw it Frodo! Just
bloody throw it!
THRILLED
ENTERTAINED
NODDING OFF
ZZZZZZZZZZ
RUNNING TIME (MINS) 0 30 60 90 120 150 180 210 230 250
EXCITE-O-METER
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1:21:15 Gollum has a moment of victory.
Its hard not to feel happy for the little
blighter, although thats undermined by
him hitting the lava a few seconds later and not
even screaming in pain. Doesnt he have any
nerve-endings? Thats lava, not water!
1:23:35 Saurons eye goes BOOM. The way it
darts about in a panic as it falls is a fantastic
touch; even though its just an eye, you can
almost hear it thinking, No! No! This isnt
happening! Balls!
1:28:27 The eagles arrive and rescue Sam and
Frodo. Why didnt we just fly here in the first
place? the Hobbits dont say.
1:28:59 Frodos reunion with the Fellowship is a
bit of a misjudged nightmare. Perhaps if all the
laughing and bouncing around hadnt
happened in slow-motion it wouldnt have been
quite so bad, but theres something about
watching people cackle in half-time that makes
it seem ridiculous.
1:33:45 Arwen appears from behind a banner to
surprise Aragorn during his coronation. An
otherwise slow and soppy moment is given
some life by the fact that he suddenly snogs
her like a maniac. Kind of awkward, though,
given that her dad is standing right there...
1:35:00 Aragorn makes an announcement: My
friends, you bow to no one. The whole of
Gondor bows before the stunned Hobbits.
Theres something in our eye
1:36:29 The Hobbits return to The Shire
to find it hasnt changed at all. This isnt
what happened in the book.
1:42:02 Galadriel: The power of the three rings
has ended. The time has come for the dominion
of Men. Always so serious. Do you think shes
ever told a knock knock joke?
1:43:33 Gandalf says goodbye to the Hobbits.
They realise, to their horror, that Frodo is
leaving too. There are many tears.
1:48:03 The little girl who runs to greet
Sam when he returns home is his own
daughter, Alexandra Astin. The baby
held in the arms of his wife, Rosie, is the real
child of actress Sarah McLeod.
1:50:100 Annie Lennox croons over the end
credits. I think that when I die I want Howard
Shore to be played at my funeral, John Noble
told SFX. Can you make a note of that,
please? At my funeral, when Im 80, they can
get Annie Lennox to sing Into The West.
Right-o, John.
2.00.00 The list of fan club members begins. It
ends 10 minutes later. And thats your lot: the
trilogy is finally over. Mourn.
Cheesy grins all
round
Okay, we admit it,
were welling up.
The eagles have
nally ippin landed.
Aragorn leans in for a
spot of tonsil hockey.
Minas
Tirith
Minas
Morgul
Gandalf rides to
rescue Faramir
Ghosts and skulls
In Shelobs lair
The Oliphaunts arrive!
Frodos most
dramatic fall
The Grey Havens: this
really is the end now
Eye go boom!
Frodo in a
sticky spot
Pippin sings
as Faramir
rides out
END
I can
carry
you!

Folk Tale
ST GEORGE AND THE DRAGON
DRAGON: UNNAMED FIRST PUBLISHED: 10TH CENTURY
Arguably the first significant dragon in popular western culture is the one in Saint George
And The Dragon, an episode in the biography (or hagiography) of Saint George, the patron
saint of England. As legend has it, the land of Silene, in Libya, was forced to sacrifice its
children, each chosen by lottery, to a great beast that it may spare them. When Silenes king
was forced to give up his own daughter, the crusading knight George, who was passing
through the region, agreed to slay the dragon once the kings people converted to Christianity.
The tales inspiration is found in everything from Gordon R Dicksons Dragon Knight book
series and the film Dragonslayer to Ted Hughess The Iron Man (the basis for The Iron Giant).
Folk Tale
BEOWULF
DRAGON: UNNAMED FIRST PUBLISHED: 8TH-11TH CENTURY
The oldest surviving epic poem in Old English (the
manuscript for which resides in the British Library)
is also the source of one of the most fearsome dragons
ever conceived, one deadly enough to kill the first
hero in English literature. Robert Zemeckiss 1997
motion-capture-animated film adaptation (scripted
by Neil Gaiman and Roger Avary) presents the
creature as the spawn of Beowulf and Grendels
mother (sired after Beowulf slays Grendel). Its look,
conceived by production designer Doug Chiang, is
both beautiful and horrifying; and its battle with
Beowulf on land, in air and under sea may be the
finest choreographed duel between man and dragon
in any movie.
The dragon that eternal symbol of hope and fear, of awe and
amusement is as emblematic of fantasy as robots and rockets are of
science ction. The lifeblood of the heroic epic, dragons have come in
as many shapes and sizes as the human beings whove fought with and
sometimes alongside them. Herewith are the 25 most noteworthy dragons
(and, in a few cases, species of dragons) in western pop culture
by Joseph McCabe
THE TOP 25
DRAGONS
IN POP CULTURE
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Film
SLEEPING BEAUTY
DRAGON: MALEFICENT FIRST RELEASED: 1959
For the post-World War II generation, the word dragon is synonymous with the obsidian behemoth
in the finale of Walt Disneys Sleeping Beauty. Animated by Eric Cleworth from a design based on a
rattlesnake, in a sequence directed by Wolfgang Reitherman, this dragon is, in reality, the wicked fairy
Maleficent, who takes its fire-breathing form in order to stop Prince Phillip from saving the Princess
Aurora. Originally presented in the ultra widescreen Super Technirama 70 format, the films climactic
duel with Maleficent in all her devil-horned, purple-bellied, green-eyed glory appears to have
inspired the fight between the Balrog and Gandalf in Peter Jacksons Lord Of The Rings films.
SIEGFRIED
Opera
DRAGON: FAFNER FIRST PUBLISHED: 1876
The third of four operas in Richard
Wagners The Ring Of The Nibelung is
based on the Norse myth of Sigurd, a hero
who slays Fafner, a dragon who was once
a humanoid giant (or, in the original myth,
Fafnir, the son of a dwarf king). Fafner
and his brother Fasolt receive a payment
of treasure including a magic helmet and
ring in exchange for building Valhalla for
Wotan, king of the Gods. Fafner kills his
brother, uses the helmet to turn into a dragon,
and hoards his treasure in a cave. Years later,
Wotans human grandson Siegfried slays
Fafner. The influence on Tolkien is evident.
Book
THE RELUCTANT DRAGON
DRAGON: UNNAMED FIRST PUBLISHED: 1898
Kenneth Grahames beloved childrens
story is perhaps the first major retelling
of Saint George And The Dragon. A
whimsical tale first published as a chapter
of the authors book Dream Days, it broke
ground by offering a sympathetic portrayal
of the titular creature, who with his
penchant for poetry is befriended by a
small boy in Oxfordshire. The fearful locals
call on Saint George, who arranges a fake
joust, eventually convincing the town of
the dragons innocence. The Reluctant
Dragon was adapted into a beautifully
animated sequence in the 1941 Disney film
of the same name.
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BONE
DRAGON: THE GREAT RED DRAGON FIRST PUBLISHED: 1991
Cartoonist Jeff Smiths 55-issue
comic Bone laces comedy with epic fantasy
in its tale of everyman hero Fone Bone and
his quest to save his adopted Valley from
the Lord of the Locusts. Smiths work is
influenced by Carl Barks and Walt Kelly,
but his love of animator Chuck Jones
shines in his creation of the pompom-eared
Great Red Dragon, ancient guardian of the
Valley and protector of Bone and his friend
Thorn Harvestar. Reminiscent of Eastern
dragons in his serenity and concern with
nature, the Red Dragon is most often
present as a head peering in from off-panel
and a pair of oddly human-like hands.
Song
PUFF, THE MAGIC DRAGON
DRAGON: PUFF FIRST RELEASED: 1963
Folk music trio Peter, Paul and Marys Puff, The
Magic Dragon has often been described as a drug
metaphor, a label its creators have vehemently
denied, insisting its about the loss of innocence.
The song adapted by Peter Yarrow from a
1959 poem by Leonard Lipton (who was himself
influenced by Ogden Nashs poem Custard The
Dragon) tells the story of Puff, a dragon who
lives by the sea and befriends a small boy named
Jackie Paper. The single reached number two on
the Billboard Hot 100 chart, and inspired a 1978
animated TV special in which Puff was voiced by
Burgess Meredith.
Comic Book
CALAMITY ON THE CAMPUS! (FANTASTIC FOUR #35)
DRAGON: DRAGON MAN FIRST PUBLISHED: 1965
Issue 35 of the Fantastic Four, by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, introduced Dragon Man. Despite
his uninspiring name, the character has remained a staple of Marvel comics and animated TV
shows for almost 50 years. Technically a half-human, half-dragon android created by Professor
Gregson Gilbert of Empire State University, this dim-witted construct was brought to life by the
alchemical powers of the FFs arch-foe Diablo. Regarding Sue Storm as his Fay Wray, he sadly
lost her to Reed Richards, who proposed marriage to the Invisible Girl shortly after freeing her
from Dragon Mans super-strong clutches.
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Film
PETES DRAGON
DRAGON: ELLIOT FIRST RELEASED: 1977
Disneys second most popular dragon
(after Sleeping Beautys Maleficent) is
Elliot, the title character in this musical
adventure combining animation (Elliot
himself ) with live action (everything
else). Animated by Don Bluth, Elliot has
the power of invisibility, which gets his
vagabond orphan pal Pete in and out of
trouble until he finds a family to care
for him. Cute and stuffed with toothless
but pleasant songs, Petes Dragon proved
a modest hit for the Mouse House of
the 70s, though its virtues were quaint
in light of the fantasy film revolution
launched a few months prior to its
release by Star Wars.
Book
THE NEVERENDING STORY
DRAGON: FALKOR FIRST PUBLISHED: 1979
Michael Endes German novel The Neverending Story is best known these days as the inspiration for Wolfgang
Petersons 1984 film adaptation, but both incarnations of the tale feature Falkor, a luckdragon upon whom the
storys hero Atreyu rides as he tries to save his world from the all-consuming Nothing. In the film, the white-
furred Falkor possesses the head of a dog and a serpent-like body. He also has the ability to fly (though he lacks
wings) and breathe blue flame; and, like all luckdragons, hes extraordinarily lucky. Falkors voice in the original
film is provided by Alan Oppenheimer, who also voiced Skeletor in He-Man And The Masters Of The Universe.
Book
DRAGONFLIGHT
DRAGONS: MISCELLANEOUS FIRST PUBLISHED: 1968
Second only to Ursula K Le Guins
dragons in its influence on
post-World War II dragon
literature is Anne McCaffreys
Dragonriders Of Pern series
of novels; the first of which,
Dragonflight, is a reworking of her
Hugo and Nebula-winning Pern
novellas. Dragonflight brought
adult themes to dragon lore, as
it chronicles a planet on which
certain humans are chosen to bond
with dragons empathically and
telepathically. Shades of Pern can be
seen in James Camerons Avatar.
Book
THE FARTHEST
SHORE
DRAGONS: MISCELLANEOUS FIRST PUBLISHED: 1972
Though dragons feature throughout
Ursula K Le Guins six Earthsea
books, theyre most prominent
in this third volume. Whats
remarkable about Le Guins dragons
is their accompanying mythology.
According to the books, dragons and
humans were originally one race,
which agreed to split. The dragons
made their home in the air and fire,
the humans in the earth and water.
As Asimov redefined robots, so Le
Guin redefined dragons.
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THE FLIGHT OF DRAGONS
DRAGONS: MISCELLANEOUS FIRST RELEASED: 1982
An altogether different kind of animated dragon species,
one based on natural evolution, is present in The Flight Of
Dragons. John Ritter and James Earl Jones lend their voices
to this feature film from TV cartoon mavens Rankin/Bass,
based on both Peter Dickinson and Wayne Andersons 1979
bestiary of the same name and SF writer Gordon R Dicksons
novel The Dragon And The George. Its central question can
science and magic coexist? is heavy stuff for a kids film,
and so earned The Flight Of Dragons unusually high praise for
a direct-to-video feature.
TV
DRAGON BALL Z
DRAGON: SHENRON FIRST AIRED: 1989
The Dragon Ball Z anime
TV and film series and
videogames as well as the
Dragon Ball manga on which
theyre based owe their
existence to Shenron, the
Holy or Eternal Dragon,
whose summoning unites
the sagas protagonists. A
wingless Eastern dragon, his
tail occupies three quarters
of his body. Residing in the
Earths fiery core, he can only
be called forth by gathering
the planets seven Dragon
Balls. And once called, hell
grant almost any wish even
bringing the dead back to life
(provided they did not die of
natural causes).
Comic Book
LIVE FREE OR DIE! (X-MEN #166)
DRAGON: LOCKHEED FIRST PUBLISHED: 1983
Another Marvel Comics mainstay was introduced in writer Chris Claremont and
artist Paul Smiths run on X-Men Lockheed the dragon. Part of a hive-like alien
species, the diminutive purple hero saved Kitty Pryde from their mutual enemy the
Brood, whod kidnapped the X-Men in outer space. After going home with Kitty,
Lockheed became telepathically linked to the young mutant, eventually joining her
in co-founding the UK-based superteam Excalibur.
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Videogame
SUPER MARIO WORLD
DRAGON: YOSHI FIRST RELEASED: 1990
Introduced in the SNESs Super Mario World, Yoshi is perhaps the
most controversial dragon in this list. For not only was he created
for a videogame, but hes usually referred to as a dinosaur (indeed
his homeland is Dinosaur Land). But his inclusion is justified
by the fact that some Yoshis can breathe fire, while others have
wings. And because hes the most popular dragon in videogame
history. Usually portrayed as green (though available in a variety
of colours), Yoshi went on to star in several Mario sequel games as
well as his own spin-off series.
Book
GUARDS! GUARDS!
DRAGON: ERROL FIRST PUBLISHED: 1989
Terry Pratchetts eighth Discworld
novel and his first to feature the
City Watch of Ankh-Morpork is
one of his most popular, due in no
small part to its dragons. Concerning
a plot to replace the citys leader
that goes awry, resulting in a
dragon despot seizing control and
demanding treasure and virgin
sacrifices. When Watch Captain
Vimess wife Sybil is chosen as a
sacrifice, Watch mascot, a swamp
dragon named Errol, battles to save
her life. Possessing plenty of the
usual Pratchett humour, Guards!
Guards! also contains a twist ending
that adds a touching grace note to
dragon lore.
Book
THE IRON DRAGONS
DAUGHTER
DRAGON: MELANCHTHON FIRST PUBLISHED: 1993
Michael Swanwicks World Fantasy
Award-nominated novel The Iron
Dragons Daughter delights in being
what critic John Clute called an
anti-fantasy. Mixing sci-fi and
fantasy tropes, its the story of Jane,
a changeling girl forced to toil in
a factory and build semi-magical,
semi-mechanical dragons to be used
for war. One day, she meets an old
dragon, Melanchthon, who helps
her escape but will he destroy
her in doing so? Swanwicks work
is notable for offering a dark alien
universe in which even the fiercest
of dragons are vulnerable.
Film
DRAGONHEART
DRAGON: DRACO FIRST RELEASED: 1996
Dragonslayer special effects maestro Phil
Tippet (along with sculptor Pete Konig)
was also responsible for the design and
animation of Draco, the last dragon,
in director Rob Cohens fantasy film
Dragonheart. Voiced by Sean Connery and
based on the look of a Chinese guardian
dragon, Draco earned Dragonheart an
Oscar nomination for visual effects, though
Tippet tells SFX the CG talking dragon
wasnt easy to animate: I designed the
face not so elongated like a crocodiles, but
a great deal on how the muzzle is around
a gorilla. Because that gave us a starting
point, to be able to engineer the lips so that
dialogue could be delivered and not look
ridiculous It was a difficult task to have
that things lips flapping all over the place.
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MULAN
DRAGON: MUSHU FIRST RELEASED: 1998
Some may scoff that Mushu
is one of only two Eastern
dragons on this list, but since
were focusing on western pop
culture, his absence would be
more questionable. A winning
Eddie Murphy voices the slick
fast-talking sidekick/guardian/
protector of Fa Mulan, the
Chinese folk hero who
disguises herself as a man in
order to in Disneys version
of the legend battle an
invading Hun army. By aiding
Mulan, Mushu hopes to once
more become a guardian spirit
to her family, instead of the
incense-burning gong-ringer
he was long ago demoted to.
Film
REIGN OF FIRE
DRAGON: MISCELLANEOUS, FIRST RELEASED: 2002
Fight fire with fire, reads
the tagline of Reign Of Fire,
and director Rob Bowmans
apocalyptic fantasy almost lives
up to it. In the year 2020, decades
after London Underground workers
accidentally awaken hibernating
dragons that decimate the planet,
Christian Bale leads a squad of
survivors who team with Matthew
McConaugheys American band to
destroy the last male dragon, on
whose survival his species depends.
The science is suspect, some
effects are dodgy, and the ending is
underwhelming, but Reign Of Fire
still offers unpretentious millennial
B-movie fun.
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HOW TO TRAIN
YOUR DRAGON
DRAGON: TOOTHLESS FIRST RELEASED: 2010
How To Train Your Dragons
Toothless is the most
sympathetic dragon yet
depicted on screen. An
adaptation of Cressida Cowells
book series, the Dreamworks
Animation film is a 21st century
retelling of ET, stuffed to its
scales with humour, heart and
memorable characters. Jay
Baruchel voices Hiccup, the
misfit Viking boy who spares
and befriends the deadly Night
Ranger, and uses his smarts
to save his village and end
the war between humans and
dragons. This summers sequel
is anxiously awaited.
TV
GAME OF THRONES
DRAGONS: DROGON, RHAEGAL AND VISERION
FIRST AIRED: 2011
The most popular dragons of
the past decade are undoubtedly
those belonging to Daenerys
Targaryen, the Mother of
Dragons, on TVs Game Of
Thrones (adapted from author
George RR Martins A Song Of
Ice And Fire series). The dragons
were first given to Daenerys as
a wedding gift, in the form of
three petrified eggs that hatched
when placed on her husbands
funeral pyre. Coloured white-
peach, green and black, they now
aid and protect Daenerys who
communicates with them in High
Valyrian as she prepares to
conquer Westeros.
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DRAGONSLAYER
DRAGON: VERMITHRAX PEJORATIVE FIRST RELEASED: 1981
Of Dragonslayers place in the firmament of
dragon movies, Guillermo del Toro has said,
One of the best and one of the strongest
landmarks that almost nobody can overcome
is Dragonslayer. Del Toros praise is
understandable, since, like Star Wars, director
Matthew Robbins and writer Hal Barwoods film
is a culmination of much of what preceded it as
well as a starting point for what followed.
The film takes Fantasias The Sorcerers
Apprentice, The Sword In The Stone, and the
legend of Saint George And The Dragon, and
filters them through the wiseass sensibility of
late 20th century ironic humour. Tropes arent
just upended, theyre demolished. Heroes prove
incompetent, virgins are slaughtered, priests
incinerated and a wizard stabbed to death before
even setting out on his quest. But best of all is
Vermithrax Pejorative, the most fully realised
dragon in live-action English-language cinema.
Designed and animated by stop-motion legend
Phil Tippet (The Empire Strikes Backs AT-ATs
and Jurassic Parks dinosaurs) and shot by his
ILM partner Dennis Muren, Vermithrax makes
Dragonslayer the definitive dragon movie.
Matt and Hal wanted it to be very old and
craggy, Tippet tells SFX of the dragons design.
They wanted to be able to feel it was thousands
of years old. So it was this very decimated, almost
skinny, craggy thing, to try and impart that this
was a very ancient animal. We built one large
dragon that was used for all the material in the
caves, and then we did two flying dragons, that
were much smaller. They had about a 16-inch
wingspan. We used them for the flying shots that
were shot on a motion control stage.
Of the design challenge, the FX veteran says, I
didnt look at a lot of historical dragon reference.
There were certain things that it needed to do,
that had to be engineered and worked into it,
that were mostly engineering problems, like how
to make the thing walk and appear to be able to
fly. So the big stop-motion puppet that we used
inside the cave actually had a wingspan of six
feet. It was an unruly puppet to manage.
As the B-movie budgets grew, explains
Tippet of the films stop-motion technology
breakthrough, from a few million dollars
for a Ray Harryhausen movie to $10m, $20m
dollars, the level of sophistication had to be
amped up to help integrate the characters more
seamlessly and make them more lifelike by
introducing the quality of motion blur. A great
deal of the early R&D that we did was based on
what we had discovered during Empire. Wed
hooked up the Tauntaun to a one-axis motion-
control rig and we were able to introduce a
motion blur just on that one axis. It showed us a
direction to go, so we started to do a good amount
of R&D in making up a computerised rod puppet
that we called go motion because we couldnt
think of anything else.
Despite the advanced tech he created, in
the end, Tippet (like a certain Jedi Knight hes
animated), relied on his instincts. I did a lot of
homework before we started and looked at a lot
of animal references things like Komodos to
get my brain around how quadripedal reptiles
actually moved. I had a huge telephone-book-
sized book of notes.
By the time we started shooting, he laughs,
I got rid of the notes and just kind of went for it.
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THE HOBBIT
DRAGON: SMAUG FIRST PUBLISHED: 1937
The most popular dragon in all of western
literature is JRR Tolkiens Smaug. Introduced
in the Oxford professor and authors 1937
novel The Hobbit, the mammoth, centuries-
old creature uses his brains, brawn and
molten hot breath to defend his hoard of
gold deep within the bowels of the Lonely
Mountain. Hes eventually thwarted by
Bilbo Baggins, who spies and exploits a chink
in the beasts scaly armour, but not before
searing his way into the hearts of fantasy
lovers the world over. In Peter Jacksons
Hobbit film trilogy, Smaug is voiced and
motion-capture performed by Benedict
Cumberbatch, whose otherworldly tones
lend a seductiveness to one of the most
fearsome creatures ever imagined.
I first discovered Smaug with my dad,
whod read The Hobbit to me at bedtime
when I was six or seven, says Cumberbatch
when SFX catches up with him at the Los
Angeles premiere of Jacksons second Hobbit
film, The Desolation Of Smaug. For the role,
I went to the reptile house in the London
Zoo. And then I went to New Zealand, where
I received Peters input and began playing
like a kid on the mo-cap stage It was hugely,
hugely helpful. I started off with Peter and
Fran Walsh and Philippa Boyens, just the
three of them and me, which was a privilege
in itself because of how large everything
else is on this film to have their sole
attention It began as a physicalisation, both
voice and body work, the whole thing.
Cumberbatch describes Smaug as a
flying, psychotic napalm machine, and his
performance which hell conclude later this
year in the third Hobbit film, There And Back
Again as absolutely abstract.
Its an impression of a serpentine reptile
that can breathe fire and fly, and Im a
limited biped mammal. But Id squeeze my
legs together and use my hands as claws and
throw back my neck. It was a really fun way
to work.
Cumberbatchs one regret is that due to the
nature of his role, he didnt meet most of his
cast mates while filming.
Sadly, I met hardly any of the cast. Rich
Armitage and I met once. I crossed over
with people as they were coming back to do,
I think, their third stint. Martin Freeman, I
didnt spend any sort of live time with Martin,
which was sad. But no, it was fine. We know
each other quite well so we kind of second-
guessed, in a weird way, our performances to
some degree. I didnt cross over with anyone.
Ive had scenes with people I havent even
met yet. So that is bizarre.
01
PRESENTS
CONAN
Two stunning previews of the comic adventures
of the most famous fictional barbarian of them all
KING CONAN: THE CONQUEROR
Robert E Howards Cimmerian barbarian was created in 1932
for a series of high fantasy adventures in Weird Tales magazine.
Howard died just a few years later, at the shockingly young age of 30,
however his pulp creation not only lived on in novels by other writers,
but became more of a fantasy icon than his creator could ever have
imagined. Conan frst became a comic hero in 1970 in Marvels Conan
The Barbarian series. Since 2003, Dark Horse has been charting
the comic adventures of the sword-wielding savage/king/conqueror/
barbarian* (*delete as applicable). Over the next dozen or so pages
you will fnd not one, but two extracts from Dark Horses most recent
Conan series. First, we give you six pages from King Conan: The
Conqueror, which is currently midway through its six-issue run.
King Conan: The Conqueror 2014 Conan Properties International LLC (CPI)
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CONAN

PEOPLE OF THE BLACK CIRCLE
CONAN: PEOPLE OF
THE BLACK CIRCLE
Next we give you six pages of glorious artwork from
Conan: People Of The Black Circle, which was originally
published in series format last year and will be available as a
hardcover collected edition on 7 May.
Conan: People of the Black Circle 2013 Conan Properties International LLC (CPI)

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SFX

MAN
Joe Abercrombie, king of artfully violent fantasy, is back with a new novel.
But its young adult? Rob Power nds out what hes playing at
T
here are an awful lot of imitators,
but theres only one Joe
Abercrombie. The man behind the
wildly successful First Law trilogy
and the creator of some of modern
fantasys most compelling characters, his
reputation as one of the brightest lights in the
genre is well earned.
But with six thrilling, trope-bending
novels behind him, Abercrombie is taking
a rest from the world of the Bloody Nine to
channel his talents in a different direction.
Half A King, the first of a new YA trilogy set in
a Viking-esque world, tells the story of Yarvi,
the crippled second son of a royal house, as he
comes of age.
Except, well, its not going to be as
straightforward as all that. After all, it wouldnt
be an Abercrombie novel without a hefty dose of
violence, sex and tricksy plotting, which means
that Half A King isnt going to be your standard
young adult fair. We caught up with Joe to talk
inspiration, writing youngsters and stepping
away from the First Law...
KING
INTERVIEW

JOE ABERCROMBIE
www.sfx.co.uk 135 ULTIMATE FANTASY SPECIAL

SFX

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SFX

Half A King is a young adult novel what made
you decide to go in that direction?
I set out to write something partly aimed at
young adults, but I certainly also set out to write
something that the majority of my established
readers would enjoy as well. If I wanted it to be
totally different Id write it under a pen name and
do something different, I think. If youre attaching
a name to it you owe it to the fans, all five or six of
them, to give them something that theyre going to
like. So its not massively different in many ways.
But then, when Im talking about young adult
Im talking about writing for the kind of person I
was at that age, 12 or 14, and honestly what I was
reading then is not that much different to what Id
read or like now.
What were you reading then?
I was reading a lot of stuff like David Eddings
and Dragonlance. Id also read The Lord Of The
Rings long before that and I was reading a lot
of much more adult general fiction of all sorts
really. Stuff like Dickens and Jane Austen and all
the classic kind of things. So, you
know, what I wanted out of a
book wasnt massively different,
I dont think, to what I want
now. What I was aiming at with
Half A King was something
shorter, more focused, more
kind of simple not simple in
the way that its written, but in
the amount of stuff going on.
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The First Law has six point-of-view characters
interwoven, and this basically just has one. Its
a much purer, tighter story, but its almost like
taking one thread out. So its not dumbing down
in any way, and its honestly not much less intense
on the violence or the sex. Its a bit less, and its
less on the swearing probably, but its certainly
no less in terms of its moral complexity, or its
darkness, or its difficulty. As a kid I didnt want to
read simple, schmaltzy nonsense I dont think
anyone does and I certainly dont want to write
it. Id be bored writing that.
And you wouldnt want to patronise young
adult readers
No, of course, thats the last thing you want.
And in a way, young adults are more averse to
being patronised than anyone. They want to
feel like theyre reading something about adults
the adult bit is the key part of the term. But
I think at the same time, the feeling was not
only to reach out to possibly a slightly younger
audience. I mean, a lot of young adults read my
stuff now I get emails from 10-year-olds reading
it, which always slightly worries me but the
idea was also to reach out to a more general
adult audience who maybe are interested in
fantasy but are sort of turned off by the scale
and the complexity, or the size. Because things
like The Hunger Games, or even Harry Potter,
arent successful only because kids love them;
theyre successful because adults read them. And
ideally a good book works for everyone. Adults
and young adults have a lot in common when it
comes to taste.
Yarvi, the protagonist of Half A King, is a lot
younger than any character youve written
before why did you decide to go in that
direction? And what were the challenges of
writing a younger protagonist?
The weird thing about YA as a category is that
its infinitely variable. It can sort of have anything
in it, but the one thing it has to have is a young
adult protagonist. And I guess a lot of classic
fantasy has that, the boy with the special destiny,
King Arthur, or Garion in David Eddingss The
Belgariad: the young lad who is shown his destiny
by a wizardly mentor. Thats the classic form.
And I suppose generally Ive tended to do
much more used-up, older characters that I
instinctively prefer. Because theyve already
got a personality, theres something to latch on
to straight away. I dont really like that sense
of starting with a totally blank page, because
life isnt like that. Part of doing this was to
work with young adult characters to see what
the feeling was like. And its different, to a
degree. Theres inevitably what you might call
a coming of age feel to these books, because
you start with a character who is very young,
untried, and the story is kind of the story of
their development into an adult. Thats almost
inevitable with having a young adult character.
So its been interesting.
Hes quite a vivid character, quite a
disadvantaged character in a certain type of
world he has a crippled hand, basically. Its in
a slightly Viking-esque kind of world. So theres
a big emphasis on men being warriors. The man
should be a warrior or a sailor, he should be able
to swing an axe and tie a knot and draw a bow.
And most of all hold the shield in the shield wall,
because thats the way they fight. Their society has
become structured around the shield wall.
So not being able to hold a shield because he
has a crippled hand makes him not really a man, or
a huge disappointment anyway. Hes second in line
to the throne but its assumed hell never become
king because hes got an older brother. So the fact
that he has to survive in this world lacking the
skills hes expected to have sets the tone for the
relationships. He has to find a way to prevail using
other talents.
The idea was that this was a break from the
adult stuff Id started to feel like I was treading
over the same ground and becoming a bit stale
with it. The idea was to do something different,
and something very fast moving as well, so it
doesnt take long to get going.
You mentioned that this is a Viking-style
community. Was it tempting to set Half A King in
some far away corner of the First Law world?
That was one possibility. There were three
possibilities: write in a different corner of that
world and hence draw on some of those things
that were already there; write in a totally new
invented world; or write something thats in an
alternative history of our world. And I kind of
plumped for doing the second two. So its implied
it might be following an apocalypse in our world,
vaguely. There is that hint to it. Theres the
wreckage of an ancient civilisation left over which
may or may not be our civilisation.
So its a sort of post-apocalyptic fantasy?
One of the things I brought into this were the
things that I read as a young adult, Rosemary
Sutcliff and so on, that very much dont
AS A KID I DIDNT
WANT TO READ
SIMPLE,SCHMALTZY
NONSENSE AND I
CERTAINLY DONT
WANTTO WRITE IT

talk down, that you
can totally read as
an adult and are
uncompromising, quite
dark. The Prince
In Waiting by John
Christopher was one
of the touchstones I
was thinking of. Its a
post-apocalyptic thing
set in Winchester after a
nuclear war. Its regressed
to the Middle Ages, but
there are fragments of
technology hanging over.
That was the thing that was
chiefly in the back of my
mind, but also slightly the
feeling that there are some
people who maybe would
never pick up something
in an invented world, but
something thats notionally
in our world, I think, makes it
more palatable.
But you still have a free
reign to use fantasy settings
and ideas
The advantage you have doing something in an
invented world is that you dont have to research
nearly so hard. I had this epiphany when I was
writing the first book years ago. I had a character
who needed to be thrown through a window, and
I was thinking, they might have windows, but
what century am I in here? Is this 16th century
Florence were talking about? What sort of glass
would they have? How heavily leaded would the
windows be? Would someone just bounce off?
Would they go through?
And suddenly it occurred to me, I can do
whatever I like! I can make the kind of window
that explodes in the most artful way. And I dont
have to think would they have pointy shoes
or round-toed shoes, I can just make the kind
of shoes I want. And I think that has a certain
appeal. And the fact that you can combine. The
Heroes is a mash-up of Napoleonic stuff with
medieval stuff and 14th century stuff. I think that
gives it a kind of universal quality in a way that
you dont get so much if youre going for a specific
time period.
For me, I like that leeway that you get writing
in an invented world. And you can also do
something thats a bit larger than life. Why do
fantasy if you want to be scrupulously realistic?
THE ADVANTAGE YOU
HAVE DOING SOMETHING
IN AN INVENTED WORLD
IS THAT YOU DONT
HAVETO RESEARCH
NEARLY SO HARD
How does your planning process
work? Do you have characters
coming together in the back of
your head all the time?
They tend to stew away for a
while. The First Law was stewing
for years obviously, and then
as I was well under way with
the third book, my editor said,
What are you thinking of doing
next? Which was a moment of
horrifying realisation. You never
look past the end of a massive
three-book trilogy, it seems
inconceivable youll ever get
to the end. And you get to the
end, and youre thinking, Shit,
I need to find some ideas!
Id had some vague ideas, and Id half-written
something before when I nearly gave up writing
The First Law because it didnt feel like anyone
was going to publish that. And so I pulled those
bits of ideas apart and used some of them, and
came up with the concept for Best Served Cold.
And sort of at the same time, I had the vague
concept for The Heroes. As youre writing a book
there are times when ideas come to you and you
start thinking about the next one. In an ideal
world, by the time you finish a book theres a bit
of a loose structure and some ideas
about who the characters might be, and then you
sit down and start working through that.
Half A King is the first of a projected trilogy
how far ahead are you with the next book?
Actually the next one is nearly finished as well.
The plan is that the first one will be out in July,
thats definite, then it looks like the second one
will be out in February which is roughly definite.
And then the third one the following July.
Thats a swift trilogy
But theyre much shorter books, thats why its
possible. Given that it is possible, it felt like a
good idea. When talking to my agent, I said, You
know, this book has gone pretty quickly, I reckon
I can have all these done in a year or two, and
he was like, Brilliant! My thinking was, publish
them one a year, big head start, time off, twiddle
thumbs, play computer games. And what of course
happened was, as soon as I got in the meeting he
said, How do you feel about publishing every six
months? And I thought, F**k. But there you go!
But Im on target ,amazingly. The second ones
nearly done, nearly drafted theres still a lot of
work to do. And then Ill need to finish the third
one by the end of the year.
Half A King is out in July via Harper Voyager.

SFX

Im probably the only human being
who has never read Sandman, and can
never read Sandman, and has no idea
what its like to read Sandman, because
while Sandman was happening I was
writing it. I meet people whose lives
were changed by Sandman. I see the
Sandman tattoos. I thought I was doing
something that was very transient and
very of its time. I can look back at it
now and remember where I was when
I wrote everything, how I felt when
I saw the artwork come back, how I
felt when I got the first edition of the
comic, the arguments that I had on the
phone with the editors. Its all there. Im
enormously proud of it it was so weird,
so personal. I was so lucky.
Neil Gaiman
FROM THE
ARCHIVES
THIS ARTICLE
WAS ORIGINALLY
PUBLISHED IN
SFX ISSUE 236
141
THE SANDMAN

NEIL GAIMAN INTERVIEW

SFX

www.sfx.co.uk
t begins, as so many things do,
very small. Just a simple advert,
running throughout DC Comics
monthly comic book titles. The
profile of a gaunt, pale face, black
hair strewn across it, inside of
which the eyes are small red,
fiercely burning orbs. A hand reaches into the
foreground of the image. A tiny golden glow. A
spark. A supernova.
I will show you terror in a handful of
dust, reads the tagline a proclamation and
a promise borrowed from TS Eliots The
Waste Land. Additional words run across
the bottom of the ad: The Sandman: HE
CONTROLS YOUR DREAMS. A horror-edged
fantasy set in the DC Universe.
Neil Gaimans wildly popular, critically
adored and terrifically trendsetting comic
cosmology began its landmark 75-issue run
(eventually collected in 10 volumes) at the
perfect time, in January of 1989. Inheriting
an audience eager for adult graphic literature
like that of Alan Moore and Frank Miller,
Sandman provided Gaiman with the perfect
means to explore the mediums potential and
incorporate the narrative ideas and techniques
of the finest prose fiction while examining
the foundations of graphic storytelling.
It would draw from world mythologies,
theologies, philosophies, punk music, modern
art, transgender subculture and Mary Poppins.
But, first and foremost, it was a story. One its
creator summarised as The King of Dreams
realises he must change or die and he makes
his choice. It would prove a fitting epitaph for
the comic itself.
I always knew that was what the book was
going to be about, Gaiman tells SFX. What
I didnt know was whether or not I was going
to be able to tell that story, which is slightly
different. I set up pretty much everything I
needed. The important part of the end was
set up in probably the first two issues, over
the first four or five. Although Preludes And
Nocturnes really didnt hit its stride or hit its
shape until the end, most of what I was doing
there I knew where it would end.
I was setting up in the very beginning. I
didnt believe that I was ever going to get to
tell my story, but I didnt see there was any
reason not to set up for the kind of story I
wanted to tell. If that makes any sense.
endless dream
In telling his tale, Gaiman conceived of the
seven dysfunctional Endless siblings, each
an embodiment of a particular aspect of the
universe: Destiny, Death, Destruction, Despair,
Desire, Delirium and the tall, moody, haunted
title character himself, Dream whose lengthy
imprisonment on Earth, and subsequent
release, is detailed in the series first issue,
inked by then newcomer Mike Dringenberg
and illustrated by Sam Kieth. All three
gentlemen had a deep love of DCs 70s horror
titles books like House Of Mystery and
House Of Secrets out of which came Bernie
More than 25 years after Neil Gaimans fantasy epic began,
Joseph McCabe talks to the man himself about his triumph
Wrightson and Len Weins Swamp Thing,
and Alan Moores 80s reboot of the title. The
early issues of Sandman, collected in Preludes
And Nocturnes, are bursting with a passion for
such material. Though some growing pains
were felt.
Sandman #1 was written without really
knowing who was drawing it, says Gaiman.
I think I had to write Sandman #1 while we
were still looking for an artist. Sandman #2
was written to Sams strengths, because it was
sort of pure Bernie Wrightson. Sandman #4,
I wrote to Sams strengths, and Sam loved it so
much, he went off and inked the double-page
spread [pages 12-13] himself.
Though Gaiman would tailor his scripts
to the skills and interests of each of his
artists, Sandmans first illustrator felt he was
the wrong choice for a story that quickly
transcended its horror roots.
Sam was miserable. Sam really was in the
wrong band. Sam said, Im like Jimi Hendrix
I ALWAYS KNEW
WHAT THE BOOK WAS
GOING TO BE ABOUT

in the Beatles. Im miserable here. And we
were all relieved I was terribly relieved
when Sam quit. Not because I didnt want Sam
as an artist, but because Id have these phone
calls with him, and he would sound like he
was going to slit his wrists Hi Sam. Hows it
going? Theyre going to see this comic come
out and they will hate me. I dont think they
will hate you
Kieth eventually chose to leave and, with
issue #6, his friend and inker Dringenberg
took over the books pencilling, helping
Gaiman establish a style and tone that would
become synonymous with The Sandman.
Most famously with the introduction of
Death, Dreams older, eternally wise and
perennially perky sister, in #8 (The Sound
Of Her Wings).
With Mike working on the book,
explains Gaiman, I had that sense of place.
I could actually say, Great. I have a diner. I
have the front of this diner, I have this whole
space, and I can move people around in it.
And you will believe in it the whole time.
In the same way that I could do #8 and move
the Sandman across New York. Although,
even when Sam was still on the book, it was
always planned that one was going to be
drawn by Mike.
After 11 issues, which spanned Preludes
And Nocturnes, the titles acclaimed second
volume The Dolls House, and the prologue
and epilogue of volume 4, Season Of Mists,
Dringenberg too departed, and a new artist
was brought on for each subsequent story arc.
Mikes departure was a complicated
thing. Mike basically said, I cant always do
a monthly book. I cant meet these deadlines.
Id like to do some painting, I would like to
do something more Because Mike had gone
off and we got Kelley Jones in, we just sort of
had the perfect artist doing Season Of Mists.
At that point, there was a sort of Okay, what
are we going to do now? How are we going to
do this? Are we going to try and get a regular
artist for the book forever? I think there
were things that Kelley wanted to do. For A
Game Of You, I began by saying I want an Eric
Shanower kind of look. And we got Shawn
McManus, who I loved. I loved his Pog, his
Swamp Thing story. For Brief Lives, I wanted
something very, very understated. Very
realistic. Done by somebody who could draw
girls who looked like girls. I was shown this
Jill Thompson drawing and I thought, Yes,
thats what I want.
Sister act
Brief Lives found Dream and his mad sister
Delirium (formerly Delight) on a quest
to find their brother Destruction, whod
abandoned his realm. The Sandmans next
major arc, The Kindly Ones, would be its
longest. Adorned with the minimalist art of
Marc Hempel, it pitted Dream against the
Furies (or Fates), who sought vengeance on
behalf of a human woman who blamed the
Prince of Stories for the loss of her son. The
On designing the sandman
Dave McKean had drawn a couple of
pictures of a guy in a trench coat, says
Sandmans first penciller Sam Kieth. He
looked like John Constantine I sent some
sketches off, and nobody liked the first round.
Then I sent a second round off and the one
they chose is the one we went with, which
looked a little like David Bowie, a little bit of
a cropped top. The look was really heavily
championed through Neil and Karen Berger
I would have his hair matted to his head. I
wasnt with the whole, hip trendy Sandman. I
wanted the goofy Sandman.
DREAM A
LITTLE DREAM
TheSandmanwitha
maskthat recalls his 30s
predecessor.
Theres always
AltonTowers.
SamKiethmadlandscapes
andgoofyhero.
143
THE SANDMAN

NEIL GAIMAN INTERVIEW

SFX

Charles Vess, the artist with whom Gaiman
had won, in 1991, what is to date the only
World Fantasy Award (for Best Short
Fiction) ever given to a comic book #19s
similarly Shakespearean A Midsummer
Nights Dream.
Change or die. In the end, Dream made his
choice. Did it reflect any options that Gaiman
himself had faced?
I dont know, he tells us. Thats probably
the most honest answer. There are three
different philosophies about coping with
untenable situations. There is Destructions
point of view and there is Lucifers point of
view, both of which sum up to, You really
dont have to stay anywhere forever. You can
move. If its horrible, you get out of there.
If youre not happy, you move on. And then
theres Dreams point of view, which is You
resulting conflict would forever alter the
Sandmans realm, the Dreaming.
Technically, the thing Im most proud
of, in the whole of Sandman, says Gaiman,
is probably in The Kindly Ones watching
Lyta Hall, on the one hand, going through
this huge internal quest through all sorts of
mythic realms with all sorts of mythological
characters, and, on another level, wandering
completely crazy around LA. You realise that
shes talking to her reflection, or a traffic
light, or whatever. And managing to make that
work and Marc Hempels genius in designing
the pages so that you realise that both of
these things are true. One of them is a way of
looking inside her head.
March of 1996 marked the release of
Sandmans final issue, #75, The Tempest.
This standalone tale was illustrated by
do the right thing if it kills you. You have
your responsibilities. You cannot walk out
on them. There are things you cannot get out
of. Im sure that I must have been in both of
those positions during my life. Just given the
way that Im made up, Im pretty much more
likely to do a Sandman than I ever would be
to do a Lucifer. Im much more likely to stick
to somewhere, even if its untenable, and say,
I gave my word, Im going to see this one
through.
Though the Sandmans story ended, as
befits one of the Endless it never really
stopped. Spin-off titles like The Dreaming,
Lucifer, the rebooted House Of Mystery and
a line of Sandman Presents books followed,
as well as Gaimans own Death miniseries
(The High Cost Of Living and The Time Of
Your Life), his illustrated novella The Dream
Hunters, and his anthology collection Endless
Nights. A 25th anniversary project, The
Sandman: Overture, written by Gaiman and
illustrated by JH Williams III, also started
at the end of last year. (Issue #2 should be in
shops by the time you read this, but it was
already two months behind schedule.)
Sandmans greatest legacy may be in
addition to launching the career of one of
the most popular and acclaimed writers
of our time the sheer number of doors it
opened for storytellers not only seeking to
tell comic book stories with the depth and
complexity of prose, but who wish to tell full,
complete, adult stories within the medium.
Per Gaimans wishes, DC has not continued
Sandman since he ended his saga. Instead,
the books success launched the publishers
Vertigo line, and the many titles comprising
it, from Preacher to Transmetropolitan, 100
Bullets to Y: The Last Man. And to think it all
began with a handful of dust.
Thefoxiest grimreaper
youever didsee.
TheCurecover that
never was?
The sandmans most popular character was no dream
The way Neil originally described her, says artist Mike Dringenberg of
Dreams older sister, was very much a Louise Brooks kind of concoction. He
wanted that look, with sort of a short, black bob [But] Death is based on,
primarily, my friend Cinnamon, who was a ballet dancer. Deaths ankh was
indeed my idea. Since Cinnamon was prone to wearing a little silver ankh a
sign of immortality and rebirth I thought it both a fitting tribute to a beauty,
and a lovely irony worthy of such a deity, a kind of cosmic joke.
LIVING DEAD GIRL
CHANGE OR DIE.
IN THE END DREAM
MADE HIS CHOICE
FROM THE
ARCHIVES
THIS ARTICLE
WAS ORIGINALLY
PUBLISHED IN
SFX ISSUE 221
145
THE DARK TOWER

STEPHEN KING

SFX

www.sfx.co.uk
If theres a sci-fi/
fantasy saga whose
time has come
around, it has to
be Stephen Kings
magnum opus The
Dark Tower.
Inspired by his
love of The Lord Of
The Rings, Arthurian
legend and such
seminal Spaghetti
Westerns as The
Good, The Bad And The Ugly, the Master of
Horror first began chronicling last gunslinger
Roland Deschains epic journey across the
deserts and plains of Mid-World in the early
70s before concluding that he didnt yet
possess the necessary maturity to bring the
story to life in his own distinctive vision. After
putting the incomplete manuscript away in a
box, he pulled it out again in 1977 and showed
it to his then agent, Kirby McCauley, who sold
it in sections as short stories to Fantasy And
Science Fiction magazine editor Ed Ferman.
Not bad for an old story that was moldering
away forgotten in a wet corner of the garage
last year, King wrote in his journal in August
1978. Ferman told Kirby that Roland has a
feel of reality thats missing in a lot of fantasy
fiction, and wanted to know if there might be
even more adventures. Im sure there are even
more adventures, but I have no idea what they
might be.
Despite the bestselling popularity of the
Maine-born authors 70s classics such as
Carrie and The Shining, The Gunslinger was
only released as a limited run of 10,000 when
it was eventually collected in 1982. Second
instalment The Drawing Of The Three was
published in 1987, followed by The Waste
Lands and Wizard And Glass over the next
decade before Kings near-fatal encounter
with a Plymouth minivan in 1999 prompted
him to finish the final three volumes Wolves
Of The Calla, Song Of Susannah and The Dark
Tower, which were issued in quick succession
in 2003 and 2004 alongside a newly revised
and expanded The Gunslinger.
I had no urge for The Dark Tower to be
filed away with The Canterbury Tales and
The Mystery Of Edwin Drood, King wrote
in the introduction to the 2003 editions of
The Dark Tower series, referring to Geoffrey
Chaucer and Charles Dickens respective
unfinished masterpieces. Kings readership
was certainly hungry for answers: a terminally
ill grandmother and a death row inmate both
wrote to King over the years, requesting to
be taken into the authors confidence about
Rolands eventual fate before they passed
on, an explanation he would have happily
supplied if he was privy to it himself. I once
had an outline, but I lost it along the way. All
I had was a few notes.
centre of the universe
Although its followers are loyal and
enthusiastic, The Dark Tower has historically
appealed to a smaller and more specific breed
of Constant Reader as King dubs his most
creatures from other realities break through,
or where people have very unusual psychic
abilities. The supernatural is such a big part
of his vision. In The Dark Tower novels, we
learn that there are multiple realities, and that
magic and psychic abilities are real. In a way,
you could say that in all of his other novels,
The Dark Tower universe is breaking through
into our reality.
From Father Callahan featuring in both
Salems Lot and The Wolves Of The Calla to a
graphic novel called The Dark Wanderer
cropping up in Cell, elements of The Dark
Tower have regularly appeared in Kings other
works. Randall Flag, who is also Walter
ODim, the Man in Black, pops up in many
Stephen Jewell traces the history of the Maine
horror masters gunslinging fantasy masterwork
dedicated fans than his traditional, more
earthbound horror offerings such as The
Stand and Liseys Story, although they are all
essentially based in the same thematic milieu.
Steve has always described The Dark Tower
cycle as the centre of his creative universe,
and I think thats really accurate, says Robin
Furth, who as Kings long-time researcher,
the co-writer of Marvels prequel comic book
series and the author of The Dark Tower: A
Concordance arguably knows the intricate
details of Rolands fictional realm better than
the big man does himself. Most of Steves
non-Dark Tower novels take place in our
world, but in a version of our world where
A NEAR-FATAL ENCOUNTER WITH A MINIVAN
PROMPTED KING TO FINISH THE BOOKS
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SFX

King has described his
Dark Tower books as his
magnum opus.
books like The Stand, says Furth,
referring to Rolands chief nemesis.
He just keeps coming back in so
many different stories. Then you
have the low men, who are also the
can-toi, who are in From A Buick 8
in a very different form. The name can-
toi, which Steve says means little servant,
comes up in Desperation. Although its not
the same kind of can-toi as in Dark Tower,
the two types of creatures are related. Its
almost like that idea [Rolands adoptive son]
Jake Chambers has when hes falling into the
Abyss at the end of The Gunslinger. There are
other worlds than these, and all the worlds
echo each other.
Like the Pevensies in The Chronicles of
Narnia, 11-year-old New Yorker Jake was
propelled into The Dark Towers sinister
otherworld after a traumatic traffic accident.
Theyre both about stepping through a
doorway of some kind and entering a different
reality, which is attached to our reality, says
Furth. That has always appealed to me,
perhaps because it makes it seem more real.
Its like its a part of this world as well; the
magic is more accessible.
With its groundbreaking combination of
Tolkien-esque mythical realms and post-
apocalyptic dystopian scenarios, The Dark
Tower was one of the first stories to draw
equally on both science fiction and fantasy.
I would describe it as an adventure quest,
similar to other Knight-errant tales, says
Kings UK editor Philippa Pride. Thats a
significant part of its appeal as the reader, like
Roland, wants to reach the Dark Tower. It is
the way that Steve draws upon these diverse
influences as only he can to create a series
which is utterly unique and totally Stephen
Kings Dark Tower, together with characters
we really care about, that has kept fans
captivated book after book.
inspirations and influences
As quoted at the close of The Dark Tower,
Robert Brownings 1855 poem Childe
Roland To The Dark Tower Came was also
a significant touchstone. It was one of his
big inspirations when he was young and at
university, says Furth. Reading that poem
really caught his imagination, especially the
opening lines where you have this knight
riding towards this strange, dark tower in
this bleak landscape. That tale of Childe
Roland is also related to the whole Arthurian
cycle, which has had many incarnations. The
Arthurian legend is something
we keep coming back to in the
comics as (Rolands homeland)
Gilead is almost like a fantasy
and sci-fi version of that Arthurian
dreamscape.
As with the stories of King Arthur
and the Knights of the Roundtable,
the Norse Ragnarok and even the
perpetually repetitive storylines of
superheroes, The Dark Tower controversially
proved to be literally cyclical, a natural
transition that King paved the way for in the
revised The Gunslinger. I wasnt exactly
crazy about the ending either, if you want to
know the truth, but its the right ending, he
says to any disgruntled readers in the final
volumes Authors Note. The only ending in
fact. You have to remember that I dont make
these things up, not exactly; I write down
what I see.
Mirroring authors such as Grant Morrison
and Paul Auster, King risked even further
outrage by meta-fictionally writing himself
into the text. Its like the authors dream life
becomes real. As an author, theres always
that fascinating idea that when you write
youre creating a world, but that world and its
characters also have an existence of their own,
completely separate from you, says Furth,
who has spotted parallels between Kings 1994
novel Insomnia and his dash with death on a
Maine highway five years later.
There are pre-echoes of Steves accident
throughout his early books. People say that
you cant discuss such things because it
means you think certain events are fated,
but in physics they do talk about the strange
nature of time. We dont actually understand
it and maybe its not linear in the way we
think it is, but thats how we perceive it. The
Dark Tower novels are full of time travel, and
events that echo and pre-echo each other. In
Wolves Of The Calla, Eddie Dean and Jake
Chambers both go back in time and Jake sees
his earlier self.
While The Dark Tower was enjoyed by a
niche readership during the three decades
of its publication, it has risen in prominence
since coming to a conclusion in 2004. For
the past five years, Furth has collaborated
with seasoned scribe Peter David and leading
artists such as Jae Lee and Sean Phillips
on Marvels Dark Tower comic book series.
But while the ambitiously interlinked Ron
Howard-helmed film and HBO television
series have apparently stalled, the phenomenal
success of the American cable channels
adaptation of George RR Martins Game Of
Thrones has raised fantasys cachet amongst
mainstream audiences.
the final instalment
Its no surprise, then, that 2012s The Wind
Through The Keyhole was the most highly
anticipated Dark Tower adventure to date,
although Furth attributes its existence to that
fickle muse: inspiration. Once the winds
of Mid-World begin to blow, Steve writes,
she laughs. I think he was as surprised as
anybody that this book came along.
Described by Philippa Pride as an
enchanting Russian doll of a novel, The Wind
147
THE DARK TOWER

STEPHEN KING

SFX

connected to the winds
of the Starkblast.
After the unexpected
arrival of The Wind
Through The Keyhole, Furth
believes that this isnt the last
weve seen of the enigmatic
gunslinger. Im really hoping
that Steve writes more, but well
have to see, she says. Steve is
so busy, so a lot depends on his
time and inspiration. But he has
such tremendous energy and
imaginative force that I cant see
him not continuing to tell stories
about Roland and his tet.
Through The Keyhole takes place
between the fourth and fifth books,
Wizard And Glass and Wolves Of The Calla.
Its a story-within-a-story-within-a-story,
reveals Furth. At the outset, Roland and his
American tet (companions) are travelling
towards the River Whye in Mid-World. A
great storm, called a Starkblast, is about to
blow. While our tet is sheltering from the
storm, Roland tells a story about his younger
days, when he and his tet-mate Jamie DeCurry
were sent to Debaria to investigate reports of a
skin-man, a kind of dangerous shape-changer.
While there, the young Roland retells another
tale, an old fairytale taken from a book called
Magic Tales Of Eld. All three stories are
I WASNT EXACTLY CRAZY
ABOUT THE ENDING, IF YOU
WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH
kings tale in
word bubbles
As Robin Furth reveals,
the comics are not just a
straightforward adaptation
of the novels. What
we set out to do was to adapt 1998 novella
The Little Sisters Of Eluria and The Gunslinger
but weve also brought in information from
the other novels because of the form the
comics take.
Its kind of like how a film of The Dark
Tower would be, its the same story and the
same world but sometimes to fit the new
medium and shape, it changes a little bit and
you fill in certain things that you know from
other parts of the story.
After reaching the end of The Gunslinger
in 2012, the series continued with all-new
material, written by Furth, drawn and inked
by Richard Isanove and with King serving as
creative and executive director. Sheemies
Tale and Evil Ground, both two-issue limited
series, were followed, in August 2013, by the
conclusion of Marvels Dark Tower comic book
series So Fell Lord Perth.
TOWERING
AMBITION
FROM THE
ARCHIVES
THIS ARTICLE
WAS ORIGINALLY
PUBLISHED IN
COMIC HEROES
ISSUE 21
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149
ELFQUEST

INTERVIEW

SFX

www.sfx.co.uk
I
n a world where comics is often shorthand
for superheroes, one title has consistently
shown that epic fantasy has a place at the
heart of the industry. Wendy and Richard
Pini have been creating Elfquest for over 35 years,
inspiring generations of readers, artists and
writers. The pair met and married when Richard
read a letter Wendy had published in issue five of
the Silver Surfer comic book, and together they
took a punt on Wendys idea for a fantasy series.
Launched in 1978, it describes a community of
elves struggling to survive on an Earth-like world
with two moons.
Now published by Dark Horse, the first issue of
their Final Quest came out in January and is going
to take three or four years to finish. As well
as its creator-owned roots and longevity, what
marks the comic as special is that its still run by
the same couple and it always had a story arc, a
direction. So what can the two creators reveal to
SFX about their methods and processes?
SFX: How did Elfquest originally come about?
Richard Pini: Wendys been a storyteller and an
artist all her life. In 1977 she shared an amazing
It was born in the independent comics scene of the
1970s and recently launched its long-promised
Final Quest. Dave Bradley quizzes Elfquests
founders about more than 35 years of epic fantasy
Pini, vidi, vici
WE WERE YOUNG AND
WE DIDNT KNOW WHAT
WE WERE DOING
Left: Elfquest #1 Fire And Flight is where it all began in
1978 the rst tale of the Wolfriders. The second volume, Siege
At Blue Mountain, above, came out almost a decade later in
1987, originally in black-and-white, later coloured.
When Elfquest launched, the independent
comics movement was in its infancy,
meaning the field was wide open for
Wendy and Richard Pini to try something
new. We had almost no competition!
confesses Richard. The field was so fertile
and we grew in it. If we were trying to do
Elfquest now with digital, with apps, with
all the new technologies, I dont know if
wed be able to have the same impact.
Were so happy that were old fogies in this
business, because we had that advantage.
So were very interested to see what
newcomers do.
But todays comics scene neophytes
do not have quite the same open goal.
Says Wendy: I will advise people to try
launching their product on the web first
to build their audience interest. I see a
similar spirit thats happening in web
comics that was happening in the 70s with
independent comics.
After so long its only natural that
Wendy and Richard Pini would be an
inspiration to a whole generation of
comic creators, a phenomenon Richard
describes as the best part of the job.
He tells us: People who are big names in
movie and TV come up to Wendy and say
Im here because of what you did. Chris
Sanders who created Lilo And Stitch said
we were a seminal inspiration. You just reel
back at the connections you never knew
you made. Greg Weisman who created
the Gargoyles TV series grew up reading
Elfquest and theres a lot of Elfquest
influence in that show.
With not a single note of sadness, the
pair reveal: Early on we decided never to
have biological children, but all of these
people, they are like our kids. The whole
audience are our kids and theres nothing
like it.
LEGACY AND
INSPIRATION

151
ELFQUEST

INTERVIEW

SFX

Elfquest isnt Wendy Pinis only claim
to fame. She started out contributing
covers to Galaxy Science Fiction
and Galileo magazines in the 70s,
establishing herself as a sci-fi artist. She
has also illustrated stories for Marvel and
DC, as well as creating a graphic novel
based on the Beauty And The Beast TV
show. Then, starting in 2008, she took
the Edgar Allan Poe story Masque Of
The Red Death and created an edgy,
futuristic graphic novel.
When Warner Bros optioned Elfquest
in 2008, part of the contract was we
couldnt do anything with it as they were
sitting on the rights, she reveals. So I
had this wonderful four-year block of
space where I could get Masque out of
my system. Not many people know this
but Im actually a horror artist and an
erotic artist, but I dont get much chance
to express those aspects of my life. With
Elfquest theres a certain line that we
wont cross, so Masque enabled me to
do everything I couldnt in Elfquest and
express that side of my creativity!
BEHIND THE MASQUE
idea with me, which was the genesis of Elfquest.
We didnt know anything about publishing; we
wanted someone else to publish it! We took it to
Marvel and DC but none of them wanted it, so
we realised we had to do it ourselves. So we set
about simply learning, making mistakes.
WP: I had one advantage I had a reputation
for being a science fiction illustrator. Phil
Seuling was our East Coast distributor and Bud
Plant our West Coast distributor and both knew
me. So I think they were much more willing to
take a chance on an independent comic with
large numbers...
RP: We started out with 10,000 when everyone
else was selling in the hundreds! Bob and Phil,
bless them both, were willing to take that large
number on the strength of Wendys reputation,
and it just sky-rocketed from there.
SFX: When you look back at those first issues,
do you think you would do it differently now?
Do you think your abilities have changed over
the years or maybe your sensibilities?
WP: Everything was perfect for the time it was
done in, and every story arc in Elfquest reflects
a different phase and mind the first issues
of Elfquest reflected the 70s; the pages were
crammed with panels and big fat lettering. By
the time we got to the late 80s and early 90s we
were doing Kings Of The Broken Wheel which was
totally anime influenced. So every phase and every
story arc reflects my development.
But this is our finest hour, right now. I
became a completely digital artist in 2003. I
started working on a tablet and Im creating
my best work as a result of going digital. Many
comics companies were observing how much
quicker deadlines got met as a result of digital.
So it became a fact that if an artist or colourist
wasnt digitally savvy they werent getting as
much work. The old-fashioned ways, as lovely
as they were, went into the background. And
the work right now reflects my animation roots.
I started out as a huge fan of animation with
Disney, and I discovered anime when I was
10 years old. So theres always been an anime
following to my comics work, and when you
work digitally you can create an animation cel
effect with beautiful, rich backgrounds and then
the characters moving on top of that its a look
that I adore.
SFX: It always seemed that you had an
ending in mind. How important is the arc to
understanding the success of Elfquest?
RP: Absolutely true. Wendy sat me down and
told me what Ill call the first chapter which is
actually made up of many individual issues. And
we did that first chapter in the 70s and 80s and
it came to a very satisfying conclusion. And then
we went to the next chapter and then the next.
What were doing with Dark Horse is the next,
were titling it Final Quest. And what that means
is not the end of Elfquest but it does mean the
conclusion of this grand, over-arching story that
we have known from the beginning.
WP: Ill give you the key to it in one word
Cutter. This is his heros journey. It took us 35
years to get there but hes gonna go through the
cave and were gonna see how he comes out with
the elixir.
RP: Its very Joseph Campbell, its very true
to the archetypes and the basic underlying
structure of mythology. But we were very young
and we didnt know what we were doing. It was
all instinctual, and I think this is the magic of
archetypes. You dont really have to know what
youre doing consciously, but the story will move
according to the archetypes.

SFX: So if someone has never read Elfquest,
but would like to, do they have to go back to
the beginning and read the first one?
RP: Its really better if they do, and I realise that
by saying that Im making it more difficult for
them, because thats 35 years worth of material.
However, we have a digital archive and I uploaded
almost 7,000 pages, everything weve ever done, to
www.elfquest.com. You can read the whole thing
for free! Its always been much more important
to me that somebody be able to read the thing,
than to be able to command a high price for a back
issue. I want the story accessible, I dont care. I
saw that Marvel was starting to put stuff online for
99c. I thought to hell with Marvel and DC, were
okay, were in a good place financially and this is
our gift to existing readers who may have missed
a few issues, or to new readers who would never
be able to discover it and go along with it if this
werent here.
Elfquest: The Final Quest #1 is available now
from Dark Horse; The Final Quest #2 is due out
on 26 March.
YOU CAN READ IT ALL
FOR FREE! ITS OUR
GIFT TO READERS
Left: Elfquest: Shards and its predecessors New Blood and Hidden Years took
the story forward in time from the prehistoric to the medieval period. Return To
Centaur is the rst volume of a graphic novel adaptation of Piers Anthonys Isle
Of View, featuring Wolfrider Jenny Elf. Later books, including, Blood Of Ten Chiefs,
above, expanded on the history of the Wolfriders.

Fed up with the traditional
global hotspots and fancy
visiting an alternate reality
realm instead? Heres
our rough guide to what
you can expect to find in
four of the most popular
fantasy destinations
One of the best things about
fantasy is that it allows us
to escape reality; to leave
this dull world of work, bills
and Peter Andre behind,
and travel to faraway lands
of magic and adventure.
Why, you might ask, cant
we just stay there instead?
It would be so much more
exciting. But would it really?
Because think about it: what
exactly would these fantasy
worlds be like? We drag them
back under the cold, hard
light of reality to find out
FANTASY
TREKKERS
GUIDE
BOOK
MIDDLE-EARTH
WESTEROS
WIZARDING WORLD
NARNIA
153
FANTASY LANDS

THE TREKKERS GUIDE

SFX

www.sfx.co.uk
SOCIOLOGY
Underpinned by a long, dense history, the society
we find in the Third Age of Middle-earth is a
rather strange one and thats even without
Tom Bombadil. For this world with its Elves,
Ents and men may be diverse, but its not
inclusive. Its a segregated society of divided
kingdoms, where the ruling races do not mix
(think how much of a hassle it was for Aragorn
and Arwen to get it on), and below which sits
a disenfranchised underclass: namely Orcs,
Goblins and any other creature that may bring
down house prices.
Was it really such a surprise that these
scattered, oppressed minorities rallied around
Sauron? An evil Martin Luther King with a
dream that, someday, an Orc may be able to pop
down the shops without finding an Elven arrow
in his head. One mans terrorist is another mans
freedom fighter, after all.
POLITICS
For all its talk of freedom, Middle-earth is no
democracy. Instead, it subscribes to the fantasy
world philosophy of a rightful king: the belief
that if a man and it nearly always is a man
with the right genes emerges, then peace will
prevail. This, it has to be said, is a rather nave
system. For yes, Aragorn may know what hes
doing with a sword and a bottle of shampoo,
but in a time of peace, what does he know about
taxation? Or agriculture? Or trade routes? This
is a king with no experience of ruling, which
could either lead to him starting wars to justify
his position he is a skilled warrior or result
in an unstable economy, an unstable society and,
eventually, revolution. Would you really want to
take the risk?
ECONOMY
Given that its made up of separate kingdoms,
its difficult to judge Middle-earths economy
as a whole. Mordor, for instance, appears
to function on brute force and Stalin-style
industrialisation for its economic power, while the
Dwarves have built their capitalistic wealth on the
mines of Moria.
However, when it comes to visiting this land,
were inclined to recommend the Shire, which
appears to function on the niche economic
theory of distributism. Lying somewhere
between socialism and laissez-faire capitalism,
distributists believe that the means of production
should be dispersed as widely as possible
among individuals, rather than belonging to
a government (as they are in communism or
socialism) or by a few corporations (as in most
capitalist systems).
Of course, on a wider scale, distributism
probably wouldnt work. But, in the agrarian
bubble that is the Shire, its beautifully simple.
THREATS
That very much depends on whether theres a
giant eye in the sky waging war on all other forms
of life, really. If so, then yes: Middle-earth in the
shadow of Sauron is quite possibly one of the most
dangerous places you could choose to visit.
And if not, there are armies of Orcs sacking
cities, kings being corrupted by evil wizards and
the Nazgul flying around scaring the bejebus out
of everything. On other occasions, then its... well,
still dangerous. Middle-earth, even in peacetime,
is a horrifying place of natural predators and
ancient evil. Why choose to travel to a land, for
example, where Orcs and Trolls kill at will? And
thats not even factoring in such horrors as the
Balrog or Shelob the giant spider. No wonder no
one ever wants to leave the Shire
MIDDLE-EARTH THE LORD OF THE RINGS
VERDICT
Middle-earth is a beautiful but fundamentally
flawed and ultimately dangerous place to
visit. Unless youre planning to stay with the
Hobbits, you should probably forget it.
TREKADVISOR RATING
There are NIMBYs in
Middle-earth too.

SOCIOLOGY
Natives of Narnia include Dwarves, Fawns, Ogres,
Centaurs, Horrors (not the band) and even Father
Christmas. In terms of human visitors, you may
be a tad hard-pushed: a grand total of 11 dwell in
this world. Neighbouring districts play host to
hundreds of other races, who cross over every now
and then but are often just one-dimensional and
mutinous. Its all fun and games and casual racism,
until the realisation comes that the snowy expanse
is not some sort of expanded Santas Grotto, but
instead the 100-year Winter, as imposed by the
White Witch, who ruled over the country from the
years 900-1000.
Once the Ice Thatcher era is out of the way,
though, morale perks up in Narnia. Thats not to
say the society isnt without its foibles. Some may
find the feminist scene a little backwards. In the
final book, The Last Battle, Queen Susan leaves
the world of Narnia due to an interest in nylon,
lipstick and invitations as the characters explain
quite hastily. Tsk, typical woman. As such, Susan
is no longer a friend of Narnia despite all the
battles and the losses she experienced because
she has sex now. Its not surprising, really,
when you consider how inherently religious
Narnias population is. Aslan serves as a sort
of lion demigod and ultimately the magical
creatures who dont believe in him are turned
back into regular animals and banished to
an unmentionable place. Nothing wrong
with traditional, but we dont think Richard
Dawkinss biography would be a bestseller in
Narnias WHSmiths.
POLITICS
You might consider Narnias political model
to be a little off the bat, after all, the crown
seems to be inherited by whoever stumbles into
town, and the nation was founded by a giant
talking lion. Still, it beats the Tories. Narnia
doesnt have a voting system as such. In The Lion,
The Witch & The Wardrobe Edmund, Lucy, Susan
and Peter become kings and queens because a
prophecy dictates that four kids (two sons of
Adam, two daughters of Eve) would sit on the
thrones at Cair Paravel. So what if they dont have
any administrative knowledge or the emotional
experience to run a country?
ECONOMY
Its war-ravaged history has taken its toll on
Narnias economy. A particularly troubled
time was the Narnian worlds mysterious
Middle Era or as the locals refer to it,
unenlightenment. The epic Dark Age of Narnia
began after the mysterious disappearance of its
four monarchs and saw a decline in economic
prosperity and widespread social collapse. The
situation improved considerably after that, of
course, but you still might feel a little foolish
changing your currency at the post office the
equivalents to our pounds and pennies are known
as lions and trees.
THREATS
Despite all the magical loveliness, Narnias history
hasnt been short of a war or two. In The Last
Battle, someone observes at one point, Its a pity
theres so much always happening in Narnia,
suggesting its the fantasy worlds equivalent of
Beirut. In one particularly brutal invasion, a band
of bloodthirsty warriors from the mysterious
neighbouring colony of Telmar ended up taking
over the entire country. When asked why the
Telmarians invaded, Aslan simply responded, Its
a long story.
Narnia is eventually destroyed, of course,
so if you want to visit, youll need a time
machine during the reign of King Tirian. After a
scuffle with another neighbour, Calormen, a race
of cruel and ancient people, Aslan proclaims the
end of Narnia and calls all his faithful to the aptly
named Aslans Country.
VERDICT
Narnia has its problems. However, its vast
selection of towns, cities and provinces; its
charming talking animals; Father bloody
Christmas; and the opportunity to be
plonked on the throne regardless of your
lineage; means it still has a lot to offer the
casual tourist. (Before the race hate and its
eventual destruction, of course.)
TREKADVISOR RATING
NARNIA
THE LION, THE WITCH
& THE WARDROBE
No trip would be complete
without a tour of Cair Paravel.
155
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THE TREKKERS GUIDE

SFX

www.sfx.co.uk
SOCIOLOGY
The Seven Kingdoms of Westeros are divided,
socially, by north, south, east and west. These
are represented, respectively, by the Starks and
Wildlings; the Lannisters of Kings Landing; the
third world continent of Essos; and the Greyjoys.
Its a society defined by the medieval structure of
feudalism. Nobles rule over the common smallfolk
within their territory through a system of fealty
and sworn oaths. Its a rigid structure of class
with very little room for social mobility; everyone
knows their place and those who are born
commoners will, in all probability, die commoners.
No matter where they were born, though,
Westeross conservatism is worse for women. The
patriarchal society means that women not only
have few roles beyond marriage and childbirth,
but also face an egregious threat of sexual assault
with little or no hope of justice. Perhaps because
of its bleak, war-torn history, compassion is not
something going spare in Westeros.
POLITICS
While the ruler is dictated by his bloodline,
George RR Martin is not as nave as JRR Tolkien
when it comes to fantasys rightful king trope.
In Westeros, Kings Landing the political
capital is a snake-pit of back-stabbing ambition
and woefully inept, rightful rulers. In fiction,
its gripping. In reality, youd merely be an insect
among kings kings who have no qualms about
stepping on you.
With so many forces vying for the throne and
so much political unrest in the throne room, the
world of Westeros is not a relaxing holiday
destination. The locals dont know who will be
collecting their taxes or ensuring their safety from
one month to the next. As Jorah Mormont once
said, The common people pray for rain, healthy
children, and a summer that never ends... it is no
matter to them if the high lords play their game
of thrones, so long as they are left in peace. They
never are. No wonder Westeros is so on edge.
ECONOMY
The economy of Westeros and beyond varies in
sophistication from place to place. For instance,
at the lower end of the scale we have the Dothraki
and the Wildlings, who survive on plunder
and the exchange of basic goods, respectively.
Intermediately, you have societies such as the Iron
Born, who tread the line between tradition and
progression with the belief that you pay the iron
price, ie you take your goods from a slain foe.
The height of Westeross economic
sophistication, however, lies in Kings Landing.
Facing the difficulty of financing a seemingly-
endless war, the Master of Coin (a position
equivalent to a finance minister) invents
new taxes; but these last only as long as the
population is able to pay. There is also an
unhealthy reliance on borrowing from both Tywin
Lannister and the Iron Bank of Braavos resulting
in a huge deficit.
THREATS
Yeesh, where do we even begin? Westeros is
brutal. Its a land of death, destruction and
dragons with no real sense of law or law-
enforcement; a wild west-eros where anyone
not packing a sword is fair game and could be
stabbed through the face. And thats just during
peacetime. When at war, the citizens of Westeros
live under constant threat, never knowing if this
will be the day when some army rolls into town
and burns down everything they ever cared about.
And then, hovering behind all that, is Winter.
It is coming, so say the Starks, and when it does
hundreds of thousands will die of starvation and
the never-ending cold, before coming back to life
as zombies to kill everyone else. Its safe to say
that wrapping up warm may not suffice.
VERDICT
Unless youre a fan of never progressing in
life, freezing to death or being beheaded
because you stole some bread, we cannot
recommend a trip any time soon.
TREKADVISOR RATING
THE SEVEN KINGDOMS OF WESTEROS
GAME OF THRONES
The Walls only for
the intrepid traveller.

SOCIOLOGICAL
Although mostly segregated, Harry Potters
Wizarding World co-exists alongside our regular
one, in crevices and corners where us ignorant
Muggles arent properly looking. You may have
spotted a suspicious caped Warlock walking down
the street once or twice but dismissed it because
you were in Camden.
Sharing the same world, however, inevitably
causes problems and by the end of the series
which has involved a fully fledged wizarding
war led by an omnipotent terrorist youve got
to admit, the Wizarding Community is the worst
kept secret ever. Although much of the population
is made up of an array of loveably eccentric
characters, sharing the same world sadly results
in a vein of racial prejudice throughout the entire
series with Harrys adopted family calling
him a freak several times, and the wizarding
community even having their own derogatory slur
for the Muggles: Mudbloods.
Because of the randomisation of the races it
is not uncommon for a wizard to be born into
a perfectly normal non-magical family, or vice
versa being magically pure became as big
a deal in Harry Potters Wizarding World as
skin colour and religion are in the real world.
Indeed, during dark Lord Voldemorts second
coming, some of the later books progressed
from using a few cavalier racist terms to full-on
Muggle torture.
Hogwarts, however, is a cheerily secular
community, welcoming multicultural diversity
with the Triwizard Tournament, and even
embracing dead people, who roam the corridors
as chatty ghosts although the four houses the
students are piled into on their first day is a little
unorthodox, considering Slytherin is notorious for
being exclusively reserved for arseholes.
POLITICS
Much like our own system, the Wizarding World
has a vast political network strung together by
the Ministry of Magic. Run by its own individual
Prime Minister (who liaises with the Muggle PM
on special occasions), it oversees such things as
law systems (run by the Wizengamot), Magical
Sports and the Regulation of Magical Creatures. It
is also, if the series is anything to go by, woefully
inept and corrupt.
Its control of the press (if you can call one
newspaper, The Daily Prophet, the press) allowed
the Ministry to perpetuate dangerous falsehoods
about the return of You-Know-You, while its
failure to listen to the advice of one of the most
respected wizards in the world resulted in
thousands of deaths. Surely time for an inquiry?
ECONOMY
The Magical Community may have dragons,
potions and powers beyond our wildest dreams,
but that doesnt mean it can get out of paying
taxes. Naturally, it has its own currency: galleons
(pounds, to us), sickles (silvers) and knuts
(coppers even wizards have annoying shrapnel);
and its own banking system, the highly established
Gringotts, run by Goblins.
The same class issues are prevalent the
Weasleys are often ridiculed for being so hard-up,
whereas Potter swans into Hogwarts like Johnny
Big Pockets but a more pressing issue is how the
hell anyone makes any money.
As Hogwarts proves, a wizarding education is
bafflingly bereft of practical skills such as maths
or business studies, calling into question how
anyone in Diagon Alley can even count, never
mind balance the books. No one is going to give
a loan to someone whose only qualification is
being able to transfigure a cat.
But then, if youve got the whole world at
your beck and call with the flick of a wand, who
needs to be bogged down by such frivolities as
buying and selling anyway? If youre a bit short
doing the weekly shop, use the Doubling Charm
on the pennies in your purse. If youre late on
your mortgage payments (do wizards even have
mortgages?!) take some Polyjuice Potion and
become Richard Branson. If youre absolutely
anything then MAGIC. The end.
THREATS
As with most fantasy worlds, it all depends
on context. In this case, that means whether
theres a big ol magical Hitler trying to take
over the Wizarding World. That, you see, would
make things tricky: Lord Voldermorts reign
backed by Dementors, Death Eaters and giants
would be unsafe for anyone vaguely sympathetic
to humanity.
Youve also got several issues when it comes
to magic itself. Every wand-carrying wizard, by
definition, is walking around with a weapon one
that can maim, kill and distort the mind. Not only
that, but aspects of magic such as the Polyjuice
Potion which can transform you into an exact
replica of someone else could be used for all
sorts of sinister purposes. In the wrong hands,
that potential power is terrifying.
VERDICT
Sure, the economy doesnt really make
sense, you could be turned into a toad and
out there, somewhere, theres probably
a guy walking around with your genitals,
but compared to some other worlds,
were inclined to just go with it. Plus: magic!
TREKADVISOR RATING
WIZARDING
WORLD
HARRY POTTER SERIES
Be wary of men
with wands.

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LEGEND

REVISITED

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direction, and saw him finding ways to apply some
of the sensibilities of animation to a live action
format. Scott said, I wanted to give Legend a more
contemporary movement to it rather than getting
bogged down in a too classical retelling. He also
admitted, It was primarily Disney animation that
influenced me.
Legend, originally titled Legend Of Darkness,
was written by William Hjortsberg, whose novel
Falling Angel was adapted by Alan Parker into
the film Angel Heart (1987). Scott had responded
to Hjortsbergs book Symbiography and felt that
Hjortsberg, being an American writer, would help
make the screenplay accessible to a mainstream
audience. Scott and Hjortbserg worked on 15
drafts of the script between 1982 and 1984 and the
film was budgeted at $25m. Initially, the script was
more intense than Scott wanted.
world of fantasy
The film was shot by Alex Thomson who had
worked with John Boorman on Excalibur and went
on to shoot Jim Hensons Labyrinth. For Thomson
the project was a challenge in terms of investing
the material with a real fantasy world feeling.
The costumes for Legend were designed by
Charles Knode who had performed the same
duties on Blade Runner and as with that film
there is a real fit between what characters look
like and wear and the world through which they
move. The forest set for Legend was constructed
on a soundstage. During the films development
phase visual effects producer Richard Edlund (The
Empire Strikes Back, Poltergeist) was consulted
and suggested a way to make all the characters
appear smaller. Edlund suggested shooting in
70mm then taking the negative and shrinking the
actors to any size. However, this would have been
This is when a beard
stops being cool.
FROM THE
ARCHIVES
THIS ARTICLE
WAS ORIGINALLY
PUBLISHED IN
SFX ISSUE 207
I
t may be difficult to appreciate now, when
fantasy films that are set far from the here
and now light up the box office like fire
from a dragons jaw, but things used to be
a little different. Twenty-five years ago, the
lavishly produced all-out fantasy film was not
the legitimate commercial prospect of today.
Yes, Conan The Barbarian became a cult movie
of sorts, along with Labyrinth and Dragonslayer,
and these titles were high-water marks for the
celluloid worlds of swords and sorcery, beasts
and fortresses. What they didnt quite manage
to conjure was the kind of crossover appeal with
the general moviegoer found in fantasy comedies
such as Ghostbusters and Back To The Future.
Legend was one of those high fantasy films that
didnt make the box office grade. Boldly realised,
American studio financed, British made, the film
was directed by Ridley Scott and starred Tim
Curry, Mia Sara and a new kid on the block called
Tom Cruise.
In contrast to the starkness and darkness of
Blade Runner and Alien, Scott wanted Legend to
be a family film, saying, I made Legend primarily
for children, my children to be precise. That said,
at moments theres an adult intensity to Legend.
Certainly, the film is Scotts vividly realised take
on the fantasy genre, allowing him the chance
to max out on the wonders and mysteries of the
natural world. It might also be one of his most
personal films, deriving as it did from his own
initial concept. The key image of the unicorn that
helps unlock the meaning of Blade Runner receives
a much fuller workout in Legend, a film largely
about our connection to the natural world.
Ridley Scott was a director to really watch by
the early 1980s with The Duellists, Alien and Blade
Runner on his resume. Legend marked a new
IN CONTRAST
TO THE
STARKNESS
AND DARKNESS
OF BLADE
RUNNER AND
ALIEN, SCOTT
WANTED
LEGEND TO BE
A FAMILY FILM
LEGEND
James Clarke recalls the ravishingly handsome
Ridley Scott genre lm that wasnt Alien or Blade Runner

Jerry Goldsmiths lush score, drawing on Impressionistic, Romantic
and pastoral traditions of classical music was composed over
three months in London. It has a distinctly British sound to it,
nodding to the example of composers Ralph Vaughan Williams and
George Butterworth. For the American release the lush and dense
orchestral score was replaced by a synth score by Tangerine Dream
who had only about three weeks to compose their alternative
soundtrack. Bryan Ferry recorded the song Is Your Love Strong Enough? to tie in
with the film. Jerry Goldsmiths score was finally released on disc in 1996.
MUSI CAL LEGENDS
prohibitively expensive and ultimately it was
not an approach used.
Reinforcing Scotts vision was make-up artist
Rob Bottin who had excelled himself with
John Carpenters The Thing. Bottins work for
Legend really engages with the visceral. Tim
Curry is unrecognisable beneath Bottins make-
up that remains one of the most frightening
visions of screen evil yet produced.
Like all great fairytale movies Legend
does a mesmerising job of dramatising and
visualising the conflict between innocence and
experience, as its young characters realise that
the world isnt always going to work in their
favour. The premise is nicely straightforward:
the evil lord of Darkness wants lightness and
innocence obliterated and so charges his goblin
minions to sever the horn of a unicorn thereby
plunging the enchanted world into darkness.
Jack O the Green must quest to restore order.
Meanwhile the girl he loves, Lili, is taken
prisoner by Darkness in an attempt to seduce
her. Indeed this attraction of great evil to great
good predates Hannibals attraction to Clarice
in Scotts Hannibal.
Scotts affinity for the wilderness and the
power of natural and elemental forces extends
some of the ideas and images found in Alien
and Blade Runner, but does so with a very
different tone.
Of the films nemesis, Darkness, theres
something in common with the enraged
energy of Roy Batty in Blade Runner and
theres even a moment where Darkness, like
Batty, charges at full pelt towards the hero
of the story. Ultimately, Darkness is a lonely
figure (akin to Beast in Cocteaus La Belle
Et Le Bte). Indeed, the old-school movie
influences on Legend can also be seen in the
critical dance scene in which Lili is seduced
to the dark side. The scene recalls the work
of the great filmmakers of the 1940s, Powell
and Pressburger. Like Scott they were cinema
fantasists but of a more surreal inclination.
Scotts precision of technique is on display
through the film. As Lili runs through
Darknesss lair its sinister atmosphere is
enhanced by the absence of any sync sound
and so becomes all the more visually driven.
Scotts skills as a stylist are also on full
display in the film.
Whilst Legend doesnt have that snappy,
buoyant kind of American fantasy-movie style
to it, its strength, and perhaps why it flopped,
was its lyrical quality. The films gorgeous
sense of otherwordliness still works but much
of that comes by dwelling on moments rather
than telling the story at full throttle.
Style is substance after all and Legend is
an intriguing fusion of coherently realised
settings, costume and character design and
even character names. The film is awash with
brilliantly dovetailed influences, critically
Peter Pan, The Hobbit, The Red Shoes and
the animated films of the Disney studio,
notably Fantasia (1940), and its Night On
Bald Mountain sequence. Scott screened
the film for Cruise as a way of clarifying the
kind of performance needed for Jack O the
Green. Critically, too, theres the influence
to be seen of British illustrator Arthur
Rackham, whose work so often drew out
the magic and mystery of woodland. Indeed,
Rackhams work would become key to the
fantasy vision of Guillermo del Toros Pans
Labyrinth 20 years later.
Legend excels in conjuring a sense
of menace. There are moments centred
around Darkness that have something of
the visceral intensity and threat of scenes in
Alien; quite something for a kids film. Legend
manages to hint at horror and sex amidst the
wonder and cuter aspects of it all. Theres
something grown up about Scotts film, rather
like another film of the same time made
in Britain, The Company Of Wolves which
adapted the Angela Carter novel.
post-prod troubles
In post-production, the picture was edited by
Scotts regular collaborator during the late
1970s and 80s, Terry Rawlings. At the time
A number of anomalies and differences
exist between the American and
European versions of Legend. In the
American version we see someone
being tortured by demons at the start
of the film and Darkness sitting on his
throne. In this scene, Darkness appears
blue. In the European cut we only see
Darknesss arm at this point and there
is no torture scene. In the European
cut, Lili is referred to as a princess but
in the American version she is called a
Lady. In the American version Lili has a
vision of the future where she is briefly
encased in ice.
DARKLY
DI FFERENT
Demonic Darkness.
Proper scary.
161
LEGEND

REVISITED

SFX

THE STUDIO
WANTED TO
PLAY WITH IT.
THEY WANTED
IT TO GO
FASTER
of the films American release Scott revealed
that the studio wanted to play around with
it. They wanted it to go faster Many of the
lingering moments were lost Scotts initial
cut of the film ran to 125 minutes which he
then cut down to 113 minutes. A test screening
for American audiences led to the studio
instructing Scott to reduce the film to 89
minutes. The studio even feared Cruises long
hair would not appeal to a teen audience.
Universal seemed desperate to appeal to a
youth market, perhaps encouraged by the
massive success of their other fantasy outing,
ET, in 1982.
Originally, Legend was to have been
released in America in June 1985 but it
was then rescheduled for 8 November 1985
and then its release was delayed again. In
December 1985 Legend was released in the
UK, having opened the Venice Film Festival
that autumn, but its release was postponed in
America until spring 1986 when the film never
found enough of an audience.
Reaction to the film on its original release
was not especially enthusiastic with the UKs
Monthly Film Bulletin stating that like Blade
Runner before it, the film suffers so much
from an over-emphasis on details it becomes a
plodding bore. Roger Ebert had the American
view: Legend is an impressive technical
achievement. Scott is a perfectionist who takes
infinite pains to make things look right.
Like other movies that didnt meet original
box office hopes Legend has endured via DVD
and found a new and welcoming audience.
So popular has it become that a few years ago
a sculpture of the Darkness character became
available. You wonder too if, given Guillermo
del Toros film savvy, the film didnt suitably
influence his approach to the fantasy genre.
At one point in Legend, Honeythorn Gump
says, If life is a dream, many dread the waking.
Isnt this just as applicable to the spell that films
cast over us, reinvigorating our imagination in
readiness for our return to the ordinary world?
Scotts film certainly believes it is.
Hed look better
in a ight jacket.

T
H
E

K
O
B
A
L

C
O
L
L
E
C
T
I
O
N

THE
QUESTORS
QUIZ
1

Name the writers who created
the following fantasy lands
A. Pellucidar B. Dreamlands
C. Neverland D. Narnia
E. Oz F. Abarat
G. Dinotopia H. Malazan
I. Midkemia J. The Realm Of The Elderlings
2

Fantasy authors love
their initials
A. But what do the two Rs stand
for in JRR Tolkein?
B. And the CS in CS Lewis?
C. And the K in JK Rowling (cos we
all know the J, right)?
D. The JM in JM Barrie?
3

Sean Maguire, who currently
plays Robin Hood in Once
Upon A Time, played which
eponymous fantasy hero in a
short-lived BBC sitcom?
4

Actress Jean Marsh played
witches in which two 1980s
fantasy films?
5

At the end of His Dark Materials
Lyras daemon Pantalaimon
settles into the form of which animal?
Because every great fantasy needs a quest, and health and safety
told us we couldnt send you to Mount Doom
What fantasy land is
this an outline of?
6
What kind of a
dragon is this?
8
A N S W E R S 1 A E d g a r R i c e B u r r o u g h s B H P L o v e c r a f t C J M B a r r i e D C S L e w i s E L F r a n k B a u m F C l i v e B a r k e r G J a m e s G u r n e y H S t e v e n E r i k s o n I R a y m o n d E F e i s t J R o b i n H o b b
2 A R o n a l d R e u e l B C l i v e S t a p l e s C I t d o e s n t s t a n d f o r a n y t h i n g s h e h a s n o m i d d l e n a m e D J a m e s M a t t h e w 3 K r d M n d o o n 4 W i l l o w , R e t u r n T o O z 5 A p i n e m a r t e n 6 W e s t e r o s
7 L a b y r i n t h , L u d o 8 A l u c k d r a g o n f r o m T h e N e v e r e n d i n g S t o r y
Name the
film and the
character
7
9
0
0
0
9
0
1
5

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