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Im A Teenager Get Me Out of This Family (1st ed. - 09.02.10) - imateenagerCjp
Copyright 2010 Jim Garvey
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To Jonathan Rand
For challenging me to do this
6
Cast of Characters
MOM
DaD
JUlIe
JOhNNIe
MIlITaNT DaD
CheF KID
BeTh
alIeN
POlITICIaN
aDVISOr
SPOrTS KID
CryINg MOM
DaNCer
DIaNe
rICh KID
BrUCe
BeTTy
CheerleaDer
MOVIe STar
7
Author Notes
There are a lot of parts in this play, which gives you a lot of freedom
to be creative. It could be fun if you had 2 actors play Johnnie, Julie
and all the potential kids and another 2 actors play Mom and Dad
and all the potential parents. It would certainly work if you cast
every single role. Or another option would be to cast Julie, John-
nie, Mom and Dad and then have a couple of versatile actors play
all the potentials. Its entirely up to you. you were smart enough
to purchase the rights to put on this play I have no doubt you are
smart enough to fgure out the best way to put it on. I have absolute
faith in your abilities you talented person you. go wild. If you want
to change genders and turn Militant Dad into Militant Mom, be my
guest, or Crying Mom into Crying Dad, by all means. you want to
blackout between scenes? Do it. you want to not blackout between
scenes? Thats cool too. have fun, be creative, but most of all be en-
tertaining! Cheers to you!
Jim garvey
9
Im a Teenager
geT me OuT Of ThIs famIly
by Jim Garvey
Scene 1
(MOM paces across the stage as DaD relaxes and JOhNNIe
sleeps. After a few moments JUlIe tiptoes in.)
MOM. Dont you move a muscle!
JULIE. Dont who move a muscle?
MOM. Do you know what time it is?
JULIE. Time to go to sleep. goodnight.
MOM. Kevin, dont you have something to say to your daughter?
DAD. Sleep tight?
MOM. about her curfew!
DAD. Oh right, (Not getting it:) hows it working out for you? Feel
appropriate?
MOM. (Menacing stare at DaD:) Julie Foley it is three and a half
minutes past your curfew!
JOHNNIE. (Waking up with a yawn:) wwhats all the yelling about?
MOM. Dont you butt into this Johnnie Foley or Ill give you some-
thing to yell about.
JOHNNIE. what?
MOM. youre grounded.
JOHNNIE. Me?
MOM. yes you. (Turning to JUlIe:) and for you
JULIE. I was only three and a half minutes late.
MOM. Do you know how long it takes for something bad to happen?
JULIE. Im guessing youre about to say three and a half minutes?
MOM. One second. One second after curfew and youre asking
for trouble from the loonies with the hair and the clothes and the
fngernails.
JULIE. The hair, the clothes, and the fngernails?
MOM. Thats right.
10 Jim garvey
JULIE. Do they also have heads, shoulders, knees and toes?
MOM. youre grounded Julie. grounded for a month!
JULIE. (Irritated groan.) This family is so ordinary! youre all so
ordinary. you and Dad are so ordinary!
MOM. how dare you!
JULIE. I wishI wish I had interesting parents, who do interesting
things! I wish I could have new parents!
MOM. Then maybe you should place an ad in the newspaper.
JULIE. Maybe I will.
MOM. Fine.
JULIE. Fine.
MOM. Fine.
JULIE. Fine.
MOM and JULIE. FINe!!!
JULIE. Johnnie, lets go.
MOM. Kevin, lets go.
JOHNNIE and DAD. what? Me? No. why?
(Scene.)
Scene 2
(JOhNNIe and JUlIe sit at a table a la judges on a competition
show.)
JOHNNIE. This is stupid.
JULIE. Do you want to be grounded or dont you?
JOHNNIE. No, but
JULIE. Solidarity Johnnie. Solidarity. here comes the frst prospective.
MILITANT DAD. a-ten-hut. Second Class Corporal John gulligan
reporting for duty.
JULIE. Come again?
MILITANT DAD. Second Class Corporal John gulligan reporting
for duty.
JULIE. Duty? This is just an interview.
Im a Teenager Get Me Out of This Family 11
(MIlITaNT DaD says nothing, just stares ahead in silence.)
JOHNNIE. are you going to sit down?
MILITANT DAD. waiting for permission, sir!
JULIE. By all means, please sit down.
MILITANT DAD. That is not the proper phrasing.
JULIE. Permission granted, sir?
(Nothing. He keeps standing.)
JOHNNIE. at your leisure solider?
JULIE. Sit boy, sit.
JOHNNIE. hes not a dog.
JULIE. Sientente.
JOHNNIE. Spanish really? how about at ease?
MILITANT DAD. (Salutes and sits.)
JOHNNIE. go me!
JULIE. Okthat was a little odd, but nevertheless away we goso
were going to ask you a couple of questions.
MILITANT DAD. Fire at will.
JOHNNIE. which ones will? heh, heh, aww.
(MIlITaNT DaD doesnt finch.)
JOHNNIE. (Writing in notepad:) Note to self, does not appreciate
typical dad humor. Strike one.
JULIE. Question One. Im going to the mall, do you agive me
your keys and give me your credit card. Or Bgive me the keys to
the new car you just bought me and give me my own limitless credit
card?
MILITANT DAD. Cwe do not drive anywhere. we will march in
single fle. left, right, left, right. would you like to practice?
JOHNNIE. Im good thanks.
JULIE. Ok, so youre into ftnessI appreciate that. Thats important.
Since you didnt respond to the credit card part (Jotting in notepad:)
I will just assume that was my own limitless credit card. Next
question Its a school night what time should I be home?
MILITANT DAD. 16 hundred hours.
JULIE. No Im sorry. I said what time.
12 Jim garvey
MILITANT DAD. 16 hundred hours.
JOHNNIE. Thats four pm.
MILITANT DAD. Thats right. Just in time for calisthenics before
dinner at 18 hundred hours and lights out at 19 hundred hours.
JULIE. (Counting on her fngers, then in shock:) 7 PM!
MILITANT DAD. youll need your 10 hours of sleep.
JULIE. (Counting on her fngers, then in shock:) 5 aM!? NeXT!
(Scene.)
Scene 3
(MOM and DaD sit on the couch in the living room.)
DAD. This seems all kinds of wrong.
MOM. were teaching them a lesson.
DAD. and what lesson is that exactly?
MOM. I dont know. But we are parents. The point is to teach them
a lesson, not necessarily a specifc lesson per se.
(A knock.)
MOM. Oh, heres the frst candidate. Be nice Kevin. Come in!
(CheF KID enters in full chef garb.)
DAD. Oh no. he thinks hes the Pillsbury doughboy!
CHEF KID. Madame, Mounsier. Vat a pleasure it is for me to be
meeting you.
MOM. Is that a French accent I detect?
CHEF KID. Oui Madame. I come from the country of love to study
the american art of cooking.
MOM. a child with a talent Kevin! what a nice change of pace.
CHEF KID. I baked these cookies for you this morning. Try zem.
DAD. wow these are really good.
MOM. Its like a food party in my mouth.
CHEF KID. Oh zou are too kind.
MOM. I do a bit of baking as well. have a cupcake.
Im a Teenager Get Me Out of This Family 13
(The CheF KID takes a bite and then spits the cupcake out
everywhere.)
CHEF KID. (No longer having a French accent:) what is that? are you
trying to torture me?
MOM. Thats not nice!
DAD. hey. whered your accent go?
CHEF KID. (Throwing French accent back on:) whoops, I meansthey
are not horrible Madame.
MOM. Not horrible? Is that supposed to be a compliment?
DAD. and why does that French accent keep coming and going?
CHEF KID. Mediocre? Is that better?
MOM. No.
DAD. what about the French accent?
CHEF KID. (Dropping the accent:) you caught me. Its all a lie. I dont
have a French accent. Im not really from France. Im from [Real town
nearby, preferably your schools biggest rival].
MOM. why would you lie?
DAD. Because hes from [Real town nearby]. have you ever met any-
one from [Real town nearby]. Odd group of people. Can you blame
him?
CHEF KID. I was born in [Real town nearby]. grew up a poor farm
child, raising polar bears and catfsh. I used to have to milk the fsh
every morning in the cold unforgiving pre-dawn darkness. It was
the only way Pa could pay for Mas surgery.
DAD. Thats not true is it?
CHEF KID. No, no its not. I never milked the fsh. I wont lie to you.
I didnt even grow up on a farm. In reality I lived in a small house
with 12 brothers and eleven sisters. My parents didnt even give me
a real name. To this day they only refer to me as number 18. Thats
why Im here today.
MOM. Thats horrible!
DAD. Thats not true either, is it?
CHEF KID. youre right. Thats not true. I cannot tell a lie. In reality,
Im just a poor chef trying to sell his cookies to nice folks and fnd a
family that loves him. growing up in the circus its only natural to
want a small nuclear family to call your own. If I ever have to walk
14 Jim garvey
on another horse, or swallow another batch of fre, climb out of an-
other clown carit will be too soon.
DAD. youre lying again.
CHEF KID. alas, so is my curse. ever since that witch in the
Philippines cursed me for sleeping in her willow bed
DAD. Stop.
MOM. you didnt even make those cookies! Did you?
CHEF KID. I think Im just going to go now.
DAD. Thats probably a good idea.
(Scene.)
Scene 4
JULIE. Thank you for coming.
BETH. Thank you for having me.
JULIE. Our pleasure. youre very well dressed. Is that gucci?
BETH. My appearance is very important to me.
JULIE. glad to hear that. To me as well
BETH. (Cutting her off:) youve got a little, a little something right
here, yeah on your cheek.
JULIE. (Rubbing at her cheek:) Is it like food or?
BETH. Oh. (Realizing:) Dont bother. It wont come off. Its just your
face. My bad as you kids say.
JULIE. lets just get into the questions, shall we? First question.
when it comes to punishment you
BETH. (Cutting her off:) your hair.
JULIE. Oh thanks! you like it?
BETH. has it always been that length?
JULIE. well, I mean
BETH. Im being rude.
JULIE. a little.
BETH. Ill get more to the point. would you be open to maybe, just a
little, slight, inconsequentialdoing it completely differently?
Im a Teenager Get Me Out of This Family 15
JULIE. I dont know. I kind of
BETH. well I guess it is pointless unless we get you a facelift isnt it?
JULIE. a facelift? Im only [Real age].
BETH. and how do you look in a bathing suit? would you mind
putting one on and coming back out?
JULIE. yes I would mind. Ive had just about enough
BETH. how about talents? you dont look talented, but Im hoping
there is something hidden? Sing? Dance? Baton? I hear baton is the
it talent this season.
JULIE. what are you getting at?
BETH. If we are going to sweep the pageant circuit we are going to
have to get cracking. I mean lets be honest, youre not getting any
younger.
JULIE. Im going to have to ask you to leave.
BETH. Saying such things will not win you any points with the
judges.
(JOhNNIe has been laughing the entire time.)
JOHNNIE. This is the most amazing thing ever. Ive been saying for
years shes not pretty. My old Mom used to get mad at me. youre
gonna be great!
BETH. you, on the other hand, will make a beautiful girl. you have
the perfect bone structure to win pageants.
JOHNNIE. NeXT!
(Scene.)
Scene 5
MOM. So allen, what brings you out looking for new parents?
ALIEN. I am from the planet wahollala. I need human family to
live with so I can study your people, learn your education, siphon
all your natural resources back to wahollala, then eject your planet
from this universe.
(MOM and DaD sit in silence. Then fnally)
DAD. at least youre honest.
16 Jim garvey
MOM. honestys the best policy I always say.
DAD. Its the truth. The last kid we had in here was a total liar.
(Scene.)
Scene 6
JULIE. and why do you want to be our mother?
POLITICIAN. I dont.
JULIE. you dont?
POLITICIAN. Not at all.
JOHNNIE. Then why are you here?
POLITICIAN. Im up for re-election.
ADVISOR. Family equals a twelve-point bump in the poll.
JOHNNIE. and youre currently
ADVISOR. 8 points back.
POLITICIAN. yes or noyou would or would not be open to
pretending you actually came from my body.
JOHNNIE. wouldnt people catch on?
POLITICIAN. we tell everyone that you vanished from the hospital
as babies, were raised by gorillas without knowing I existed until I
found you and saved you.
ADVISOR. love it.
JOHNNIE. I think thats the movie Tarzan.
POLITICIAN. OK. how about thisyou were in deep dark sleeps
in a castle and I rescued you with my motherly kiss.
ADVISOR. Believable.
JOHNNIE. Kind of Sleeping Beauty meets the graduatebut not in
a good way.
POLITICIAN. Or as babies you crawled into Santas sack and
were raised at the North Pole believing you were elves.
ADVISOR. I buy it.
JOHNNIE. elf. The will Ferrell movie.
POLITICIAN. This is proving tougher than I thought.
Im a Teenager Get Me Out of This Family 17
(POlITICIaN thinks for a beat or two before jumping with
excitement.)
POLITICIAN. Ive got it! My competitor convinced you that you
were responsible for my death, so you ran away, were raised by a
warthog and a meerkat and now Ive found you.
ADVISOR. That cant be a movie.
POLITICIAN. I think weve fgured it out!
ADVISOR. high-fves.
JOHNNIE. lion King.
(The next two lines should be read at the same time:)
POLITICIAN. awww. Shucks. Thought we had that one.
ADVISOR. Dang it. Shoot.
JULIE. Its been awhile since that movie came out. Maybe no one
will remember?
(Scene.)
Scene 7
(MOM and DaD sit jaws dropped listening to SPOrTS KID talk
a mile a minute.)
SPORTS KID. I wake up at 4 and then you (Referencing DaD:) and I
go for an 8-mile jog, then I have hockey practice at 5 am, rowing at
6:30, breakfast at 8lots of protein, no carbs, egg whites are good,
and greensif it worked for Popeye it works for me.9 is decathlon
practice, 10 oclock private lessons with my personal quarterback
coach, 11 am practice with my personal basketball coach, 12quick
lunchpreferably liquid, 12:30 boxing, 1:30 we hit the batting cages
lots of energy drinks and energy bars, 3 oclock b-ball practice, 5
oclock fgure skating, 6 oclock speed skating, 7 oclock high carb
low protein dinner, 7:30 luge practice, 8:30 bobsled practice, 9:30
bocce, 10 oclock lights out.
(MOM and DaD stare at SPOrTS KID in silence for a long beat
before MOM fnally speaks:)
MOM. what about school?
SPORTS KID. home school. you read the books to me while I
practice.
MOM. Oh.
18 Jim garvey
SPORTS KID. alright, now Tuesday. wake up at 4 am, then you
(Referencing DaD:) and I go for a 12-mile jog
(Scene.)
Scene 8
(The woman sitting across from JOhNNIe and JUlIe is bawling
her eyes out and she does so throughout the entire scene.)
JULIE. why are you crying?
CRYING MOM. B-b-because I just love you two so much.
JOHNNIE. So you cry because youre happy?
CRYING MOM. But to think, youre growing up. youre going t-t-t-
to leave me soon.
JULIE. and when youre sad?
CRYING MOM. and if I catch either of you stealing alcohol from
the cupboard, Im gonnaIm gonna
JOHNNIE. and when youre mad?
CRYING MOM. But that isnt important. what is important is that
were going to be a family soon. a real honest to goodness family.
JULIE. and when youre unrealistically optimistic. Next!
(Scene.)
Scene 9
RICH KID. Mom, Dad, pleasure to meet you. Im rich.
MOM. Nice to meet you rich.
RICH KID. No, my names Brian. I was only noting that I am rich,
as in independently wealthy.
DAD. I like what Im hearing.
RICH KID. and I like what Im seeing Kevin. Is it OK that I call you
Kevin?
DAD. If this all works out I think wed probably go with Dad.
RICH KID. Now Kevin, tell me how are things at work? economys
been tough. you been feeling it? having trouble keeping your head
above water? Does it feel some days like you might be sinking
beneath it all?
Im a Teenager Get Me Out of This Family 19
MOM. Now Brian, we appreciate that you might have some money
and be well off and all, but as parents we take great joy in providing
for our children. we would never ask you to contribute.
RICH KID. wouldnt dream of it Shirley. Is it OK if I call you Shirley?
MOM. well if this all works out I think wed probably go with Mom.
RICH KID. Sure thing Shirley, I would never want to step in as the
major breadwinner in your family. you have such little self-respect
and self-importance left, I wouldnt dream of taking that away from
you.
MOM. Thank you.
DAD. wait what?
RICH KID. But I do have an investment opportunity for you both,
so that you can provide and live the life you gave up on so many
years ago.
DAD. were not interested in any get rich quick schemes, Brian.
RICH KID. really? (Looks around.) Is that a plastic cover on your
couch? was that Volvo I saw in the driveway from the 90s? hows
the get rich long-term scheme working out for you, Kevin?
MOM. Now you wait just one second.
DAD. (A 180-degree turn:) where do I sign?
MOM. Kevin! you havent even heard the investment yet.
DAD. OK, right, lets hear it.
RICH KID. Ive got this friend, he got me and two of his friends to
invest in this project, now were each getting three of our friends,
then youll each get three of your friends
DAD. Brian, thats a pyramid scheme.
RICH KID. I dont think so.
DAD. (Pulls out a poster board and draws on it.) One guy got you and
two of your friends, and then you each are getting three friends, and
theyre each getting three friends. whats that look like to you?
RICH KID. Clouds?
DAD. Its a pyramid!
RICH KID. OK, OK, you dont like that one. I dig it baby. I dig it.
how about this? you and I open a quote unquote investment frm.
we get people to invest, send them fake monthly balance reports.
If anyone wants out we just pay them out with the new peoples
investments? huh? huh? Can ya dig it? hows that taste on your lips?
20 Jim garvey
MOM. Thats a Ponzi scheme Brian.
RICH KID. alright, fne Securities and exchange Commission.
I didnt know you were going to be such sticklers. I have one last
opportunity. I recently got an email from this guy in Nigeria. hes
offering to send us 10 million cash. he just needs a few thousand
and an americans credit card and social security number to access
the money. I know what youre thinkingbut its totally legit. hes
a prince!
DAD. goodbye Brian.
RICH KID. Its all good. I get it. No hard feelings. Oh, but could I
by chance borrow one of your credit cards? I gotta pay for parking.
I left my wallet in my other pants.
(Momentary silence like MOM and DaD are about to tell him off,
then at the same time)
DAD. Sure. here ya go. Is Visa OK? Or do they only take aMeX?
MOM. Take mine. Just mail it back when youre done, OK? and
keep the receipt!
(Scene.)
Scene 10
BRUCE. ladies and gentleman, children of all ages, put your hands
together for your newwwww parrrrrrrrrreeeeeents. Standing 5-11,
looking fantastic in his tracksuitBrrrrrruce.
Barely an inch over 5 feet, you know her as the woman looking so
good in her tracksuit it ought to be a crime
BETTY. Betty.
BRUCE. B-to-the-etttttttttay.
JULIE. I like the enthusiasm. Bravo. have a seat.
BRUCE. Not on this tracksuit, not on my watch.
JULIE. (Slightly confused:) Ok then, couple questions. Firstwhat
makes you think youd be good parents for us?
BRUCE. Two words, two syllables Track. Suits.
JULIE. huh?
JOHNNIE. Thats one word.
BRUCE. really?
Im a Teenager Get Me Out of This Family 21
JOHNNIE. Defnitely.
BRUCE. you sure? Sounds like two though, right? Track. Suits.
Track. Suits.
JOHNNIE. Defnitely one.
BETTY. OK, whatever, here, so listen right, ok so like this is the
thing right, you could choose other parents, sure, whatever, ok, but
heres the thingwe got tracksuits.
(JOhNNIe and JUlIe look at each other simultaneously con-
fused for a moment and then turn in unison with their confused
looks focused on BrUCe and BeTTy.)
BRUCE. you wanna go for a walk in the park?
BETTY. Tracksuits.
BRUCE. Swim at the pool?
BETTY. Tracksuits.
BRUCE. Praise the lord?
BETTY. Tracksuits.
BRUCE. holiday. Family. Photo. Me. her. you. you.
BETTY. Santa Tracksuits.
JOHNNIE. whats the fascination with tracksuits?
BRUCE. (Duh:) Theyre tracksuits.
JULIE. let me put it another way. Is there anything you like other
than tracksuits?
(Long silence as BrUCe and BeTTy look at each other deep in
thought.)
BRUCE. Velour tracksuits.
(Scene.)
Scene 11
DANCER. Thank you for having me, Mr. and Mrs. Foley.
MOM. Our pleasure. youre such a delightful young lady.
DANCER. Thats kind of you to say. like I said, I wake up on my
own, do my homework right after school, I do my chores without
being asked, I dont think a gal should date until shes in college, Im
22 Jim garvey
a very healthy eater, very polite, butwell, there is one thing you
should probably know.
MOM. and whats that dear?
DANCER. well, what I really want to dois dance.
(DaNCers feet start tapping incessantly.)
MOM. what are you doing?
(She jumps up on table and throws her body into dancing convul-
sions. She is a terrible dancer. She continues to dance for the rest
of the scene.)
DANCER. I cant control it. My legs just take over and I just need to
dance. let the music take control. let the music take control. let the
music take control.
DAD. what music?
DANCER. The music in my mind.
(Music starts playing.)
DANCER. Can you hear it?
DAD. Oddly, yes. how did you do that?
DANCER. with my mind!
MOM. and what do you call that move?
DANCER. The decapitated caterpillar. I know Im not very good.
MOM. (Being kind:) Oh, I wouldnt say that.
DAD. I would.
DANCER. But I love it. I just love it. Its like breathing. and I know
all the classics.
MOM. like the fox trot, and the salsa?
DANCER. No. like the Chicken Dance, The electric Slide, the
limbo. (She proceeds to do a terrible version of each. On the Limbo she
bends so far back she cant get up, but still her body continues to vibe to the
music.)
DANCER. a little help?
(MOM and DaD just look at each other confused.)
DANCER. No? OK. Its all good. Im cool. Im still going.
(Scene.)
Im a Teenager Get Me Out of This Family 23
Scene 12
(JUlIe and JOhNNIe are looking up at the ceiling, listening
to all the banging from the dancer. Finally JUlIe acknowledges
DIaNe.)
DIANE. look at me when Im talking to you!
JOHNNIE. Its just the noise. It sounds like someones dancing
JULIE. Or dying.
DIANE. Do not make me repeat myself young lady!
JULIE. Sorry? So tell uswhy should we choose you to be our mother?
DIANE. Because I said so!
JULIE. you dont need to yell.
DIANE. you want to hear yelling? Ill show you yelling.
JOHNNIE. everyone relax. were gonna get through this. Do you
work? Do you have a job?
DIANE. Money doesnt grow on trees!
JOHNNIE. are you only speaking in mom clichs? Is that whats
happening right now?
DIANE. I brought you into this world I can take you out of it!
JULIE. No you didnt.
DIANE. youre grounded!
JULIE. No Im not.
DIANE. go to your room!
JULIE. No.
DIANE. Dont make me spank you!
JOHNNIE. Please leave.
DIANE. Finish your vegetables or no dessert mister!
JOHNNIE. Im not eating any vegetables.
JULIE. leave. Now.
DIANE. (Teary-eyed:) Oh, they grow up so fast!
(Scene.)
24 Jim garvey
Scene 13
CHEERLEADER. Be aggressive, B-e aggressive, B-e-a-g-g-r-e-S-
S-I-V-e, aggressive, B-e aggressive! go team! go Team! woo hooo!
MOM. well wasnt that interesting.
CHEERLEADER. Did you like it? Did you really like it? youre not
just saying you did when you didnt right? right?
DAD. youd make a terrifc spelling bee contestant.
CHEERLEADER. Do you want to hear another one? rebound That
MOM and DAD. (Cutting her off:) No!
MOM. (Gathering herself:) That wont be necessary, dear, thank you.
why dont you tell us a little bit about yourself? what do you like to
do in your free time?
CHEERLEADER. what do you want me to like to do in my free time?
MOM. Come again dear?
CHEERLEADER. Oh my gosh! you hate cheerleaders!
(She rips her cheerleading costume off to reveal a glee club cos-
tume. She blows a pitch pipe.)
CHEERLEADER. ahhhh.
MOM and DAD. (Cutting her off:) No!
CHEERLEADER. whats wrong? you dont like acapella? (She pulls
a guitar out of nowhere.)
DAD. were just trying to fnd out more about you as a person.
CHEERLEADER. well Im a cheerleader, and Im in drama club, and
chess club, and model united nations, and debate club, yearbook,
glee club
DAD. why? what are you trying to prove?
CHEERLEADER. Nothing. Its just haaaaavaaaaaad requires extra-
curriculars.
DAD. and going to harvard is important to you?
CHEERLEADER. Of course, Mom and Dad told me I was going
there when they entered me into the Future leaders Of The world
Pre-School For especially gifted Children with really really really
rich Parents.
MOM. Speaking of your parents, whats the deal? why are you
looking for new parents? how do they feel about this?







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