Hi there Ashleigh, :)

I hope you are having a spectacular day, from the sound of your email it is going well so
far :). My day has as usual been busy, but now the people from Purdue are gone and I can
focus on more important things... on that note this is pretty much going to be the evening
of Ashleigh since I am planning to respond to your email then call you on my way
home... hopefully you do not get too sick of me :)

Ah the dentist, a person whose sole goal in life is to see if they can get both of their hands
in your mouth at one time then ask you how your day is going :). Hopefully they were
able to fix the problem and you can now eat and drink with relative impunity. I have to
confess that I am a bad dentist person, in the last 6 years I have gone give or take once... I
have been blessed for the most part with really good teeth... I did have to wear braces for
three years, but it has been going pretty darn well for me since... the last dentist I went to
told me that it was hard for them to believe that it had been 4 years since my teeth looked
better than a lot of peoples at six months... I was pretty pumped since that means I can
make it five years :). The anesthesia is always fun, I have the tendency to try to eat yogurt
at some point during the numb baseball felling stage... it never goes well, but is often
amusing to me at least :)

It would seem that having waited a week to email back on this one I missed my golden
chance to give you my best wishes and prayers that your retreat would go well, but at the
same time I have the advantage of knowing that it did go well and being able to look at
some beautiful pictures from the retreat. :) As far as work cutting into fun time I can
totally agree, I personally think that life would be a lot better if we did not have to go to
work or school and we could do what we wanted writing emails all day :)

Hopefully those butterflies stick around for a good long time :)

I am glad that you agree that it is ludicrous that people are not willing to sacrifice a little
corner of a new building to assess the fire resistance of the entire structure... I mean
seriously :). I am glad though that you think it is a good thing that I design stuff and try to
make it better, the only down side is that some times while trying to make them better I
find that small things go wrong... like oh I don't know, but hitting a phone or water line
does come to mind :). I have to admit that it is a bit of a rush every time we fire up the
furnace and I hit the gas to start heating and I hear 6 miniature jet engines start to rev up
to a hum that will almost vibrate the room, it is a lot like taking off in a plane, with the
exception that you are praying that you do not actually start moving :). I am glad though
that you do not think that I am weird for working toward a Ph.D., it really is fun for the
most part... despite some of the issues I tend to have with my advisor (but those happen
with most grad students so I can not complain :) ) I am not really sure why people get
weirded out, but that is one of the many reasons I was attracted to your profile, you said
that one of your passions is learning, I some how thought you would understand the
almost being a professional student, though I did not think you would be jealous, though
it is cute that you admit it :). As far as being expensive grad school can be, and I am not
sure if I have mentioned this but since I am in engineering I actually am getting paid to
go to school, nothing to retire on, but enough to pay the bills. As far as the student loans,
those are something I joke about (and I feel like I should mention this to be totally
honest). When I was 18 I started a Roth IRA, when I got to grad school I did not make
enough to pay the maximum amount you can put in, since student loans are not assessed
interest until 6 months after you graduate, I borrowed the student loan money and put that
into the Roth, so while I do have student loans... all of the money is in a different account
in which I am making interest on the money the government is loading me and not
charging interest... I am pretty sure that is legal though I will admit I have never
"officially" asked :). As an aside about the seeing names in email inboxes when we
finished working last night everyone came into the computer room to check email and
whatnot, when I got to my email one of the other grad students happened to be looking at
me, shortly after I got to the inbox and saw the email you sent she asked if I got an email
form someone special, surprised I asked her why she was asking, she said that as soon as
I saw something on the screen (which she could not read) I got a big smile on my
face :)... I have to admit that I do rather enjoy seeing your name in my inbox :)

You did indeed interpret that theological statement correctly, and while I agree 100% that
it is a bold statement I have to admit that I think it is the same view espoused in the Bible.
I also agree that it is a bit to harsh of a view to share with a person when you are trying to
convince them that Christianity is the way to go, while I do not agree with it on the
theological level I have found that I often use decision theology where they need to make
a decision to accept Christ in their lives, it is my hope that if they do "decide" to accept
Christ that they will then grow in the faith and learn that it was indeed Christ himself
giving them that ability. It seems that there is a defined moment in your life where you
can say that you came to faith, while I would like to hear about it, I am sure that is a bit to
personal of a story at this point, but the way that you talk about your faith and its
importance in your life is beautiful in and of itself, but also knowing the beliefs you hold
in your heart makes you more beautiful as well... but I digress ;)

That is not an easy question, what is on the list of do's and don'ts as far as dating, Well,
the first thing that comes to mind is that my future spouse must be female :), she must be
Christian, she must be a person with whom I can talk for hours and wonder where the
time went, she should have a spark in her eyes and a future in her dreams, she would
ideally like to cuddle, she would wear a smile most of the time, she would enjoy my
sense of humor (dry though it may be) and she should be comfortable... a person to whom
I could come home and be myself. She should also be a person I find interesting on the
inside, no matter how long you know a person you never know everything about them, I
would love to find all of those little snippets that I will discover the rest of my life be
interesting and endearing. Okay, so perhaps that reads like a wish list... what can I say, I
am picky... I guess that is why I like writing to you :). As far as the don'ts, she should not
be married, do drugs, cheat on anything other than board games, you can call this one
superficial, but she should not be a lot larger than I am... something about being 145
pounds and dating a person 300 pounds is just not all that appealing, she should not be
politically liberal, should not be financially irresponsible. I could go on about the should
not's... but it just makes me feel so negative, so I will stop there unless you would like me
to continue :). I guess I look at it and figure if you had a son what kind of girl would you
want him to marry, that is what I am looking for :). And for what it is worth I think your
writing skills are superb :)

That is a total relief that you are not a fan of the scary movies. I heard on the radio once
that about 20% of the population enjoy being scarred that way, apparently their brain
releases more adrenalin than other people so they like that level of being scared ... I am
not sure how true that is but it is interesting none the less :)

Really, are you aware of an agency that pays for other people's travel, I would totally be
game for their mailing list :). I am not sure what it is that makes it so much nicer to travel
with another person, I guess I tend to enjoy talking about things and by talking about
them it is like I use another sense to enjoy what is being seen so it makes the experience
more complete... and lets face it, you just feel weird talking out loud to yourself :)

If knowing someone who has a bunch of old motorcycle is on your like long goal list then
you can go ahead and cross that one off :). And to answer your question, I keep them in
the basement... where else would I keep motorcycles silly :) Fear not though, they are not
big motorcycles, they will only go about 60 (if you are on a hill going down :) ).

I am glad that you find the engineer in me cute, for some reason I just can not shake him
so I guess he is here to stay... and I should say thank you for the phone number, I rather
enjoy talking to the person on the other end :)

Ya know, I have heard that girls are distracting... and I agree they are, but it is a good
kind of distracting ;)... and I just connected a few dots here about going to Paris and
becoming a Christian, I guess I was right that the story of you becoming Christian is too
personal... I appreciate your honesty about your relationship past, that is one of the topics
that is never really fun to talk about. But I have to say congratulations for standing up for
yourself, that is not as easy as it sounds when you are in high school. I will confess (and
sadly I should say) that while girls are distracting, I think guys have the corner on the jerk
market. I am not sure this will make sense but it really bothered me to read the phrase "it
broke a part of me and changed my prayer life forever" You seem like such a sweet girl,
the concept of you getting hurt bothers me. All I can really say is that I would not ask you
to compromise your purity, I do not have a passport so I could not got to Africa, and we
are facing the same way as far as God. And thank you for entertaining the elephant, even
if it was only in my room :)

This has a bit of a dangerous implication, especially when combined with what you said
on the phone about liking email since you can read it several times and remember it... I
have a fairly bad memory in general, I live by making lists and working on those, I have
actually found that I need to make a to do list for the next day at school the night before
while I am thinking about all I have to do, otherwise it will take me a while to get my
bearings again in the morning. I try to remember stuff and hope you will forgive me if I
forget, but I am doing pretty well remembering that your Birthday is December 13th so I
guess that is a good sign :)
Hmmm, you asked the first date question in return... I have to agree that conversation is
the key, so time to talk is good, but there needs to be something going on in the
surrounding that can bring up conversation or be used as an intermediate if the
conversation dies. I have always liked the idea of put put golf, but I can be a bit on the
competitive side so that is not necessarily the best... but something along those lines. I
have done the Coffee thing, but it is a bit to intense on the conversations note and I
inevitably get nervous and wind up spilling my hot chocolate on myself and feeling like
and idiot, I have actually had first dates end with a girl telling me how to get the stain out
of my shirt... not quite the good by I was hoping for but I guess it works :). I am thinking
that a tea factory or something similar would be good... oh wait it seems that you
mentioned that you have a tea factory near you :)

I will have to remember to ask about what topic you are learning more frequently if it
changes so often :). As far as the human cell I remember hearing an interview with one of
the top cell biologists, he was asked about how the understanding of how the cell works
has changed over the years. Specifically the question was posed regarding evolution, if
the understanding of the complexity of the cell at Darwin's time were a hammer, to what
would the current understanding be compared, the guest responded by saying the
universe... that made an impression because it shows how complex the cell (and hence
God's creation) is.

Oh look, questions :). I guess I am going to go with a bit of a hybrid answer for this,
some will be phone and some will be email, we talked about the pets, though I am still
trying to figure out a sly way to bring up the skunk topic.

Cartoons, I used to love the Smurfs growing up, in fact back when Kazza was legal I
downloaded a lot of the Smurfs episodes to DVD, they are still fun to watch, I mean who
does not love the little blue guys :). As far as comics though I like the one we have in the
school paper, it is called the Ph.D. comics, and it is written by a guy at Stanford who
makes light of the standard mishaps that occur in the life of graduate students... I am sure
it is a niche audience, but he so often hits the nail right on the head that it is hilarious.

When am I the most afraid? Well there are a lot of times, but the most common is when
you are speeding and you go through a speed trap realizing that it is too late to slow down
and you see the cop pull out behind you then as he gets close turning on those little
flashing lights... yeah, that is a bit scary. Soooo, I just re-read your question and realized
that you actually asked of what am I most afraid so my last answer does not really fit, but
I found it oddly amusing so I think I am going to leave it :). Actually, of what I am most
afraid (avoiding a lot of the more heavy topics mentioned in Revelations) I would say
being laughed at. I mean I am okay with doing something stupid and having people laugh
at that, I have taught classes in college, that is bound to happen at some point... but I
mean a person laughing at me for who I am. I am not really sure that makes total sense,
but the movie Cyrano articulates it beautifully.

It would seem that it is my turn to ask questions... I am not sure if you want to talk about
them on the phone or answer them in email, but I will leave that to your judgment :).
What is on your relationship do's and don'ts list? (I know you never made one outright,
but you said you learned as you dated :) ). Do you tend to be a competitive person? What
is your favorite cartoon or comic? Do you enjoy talking about philosophy?

I should prolly (I had to get it somewhere in this email) call it good for the questions
since hopefully I will get to talk to you here in a few minutes :-)

I hope you have a splendid Friday (and every day for that matter :) )
Talk to you soon,
Blessings,
Rustin

Hi Ashleigh :),

I hope that your women's retreat went well and that everything came together for you in
time... that is a total bummer when you plan on a good turn out and it is not the case.
Things are going pretty well for me this weekend, we for the most part are using this
weekend to get caught up on some stuff around the house that we have been neglecting
for a while since we were working on the foundations. I also took some time and put new
struts on my car... she is handling soooo much better now... I was kind of proud of the
fact that I was able to get them on in 2.5 hours for all four... yes I am just enough of a
dork that I time myself while fixing my car :).

Hmmm, there seems to be a phone number at the bottom of this message I am reading, I
think I will have to give that a try tomorrow evening to see if there is anyone on the other
end who would like to chat :). That actually works out really well since as it turns out my
home internet is down so I am sitting at a rest area to write this message... silly me did
not write down your phone number when I was at school yesterday figuring that I would
get it when I hop on line at home... only to get home to find the internet down... a bit of a
predicament I must say... but it is all good now, this time I took the liberty of writing your
phone number down :).

On that note though I think I am going to head home and I will talk to you tomorrow... I
am looking forward to being able to put a voice with the sweet person I have been writing
;)
Have a fun retreat,
Blessing for tomorrow,
Rustin

Dear Rustin,

So I went to the dentist this morning. I have these two teeth that are really sensitive to
cold so the dentist recommended something called "bonding." Apparently some special
type of paste is put on the tooth protecting it from what I eat or drink. Well the dentist
had to give me three shots of local anesthesia in order to numb the area. Everything went
well with the bonding but I spent the better part of the morning talking with a lisp and
feeling like my chin, cheek, and tongue were the size of a baseball. The whole experience
was so strange, but I made several people at work laugh so I guess it was worth it :)

If driving is cutting into your fun time, then working is definitely cutting into mine. I
spent the entire day at another conference, but this one was in Cheyenne, WY. It was
much better than the one a few weeks ago, so I think it was worth my time. Plus the lunch
was pretty good. But I really wanted to take care of some other things. See, I'm part of
our women's ministry team at my church and our retreat is this weekend. But everything
seems to be falling apart at the last minute! We were expecting 75 women and only 37
signed up which shorted us $1000 to pay the cabin rental. And then the next day 5
women said they couldn't go anymore - two of which are on the ministry team - so that
brought us down to 32! So I've cut costs for the welcome bags and table decorations, but
just now I got word that our cook is really sick and won't be able to make it (though she
claims most of the prep is done). And another lady on the team - who is leading one of
the discussion groups on Saturday - is in the ER with her son. Plus its suppose to snow all
weekend so the hike I was planning to lead has been cancelled too. On top of all of this,
last June our main speaker told us that while praying about doing the retreat she felt the
Lord tell her that she wouldn't be the speaker. She didn't know quite what to make of this
"feeling" so she continued preparing for it. So I just prayed with a friend that everything
will go according to the Lord's plan, but at this point I really have no idea what that
is....needless to say, its been a rather wild day.

I was hoping to write you earlier and give you that butterfly feeling sooner, but time is
escaping me this week ... but you're cute to admit that feeling to me. I get it too so I
usually read your emails really slowly so I can make it last :)

Engineering. People don't let you burn down parts of buildings in order to test if they are
resistant to fire? Strange. I've told you this before, but you building things and your
interest in designing things to work better is one of your most attractive qualities - aside
from the smile and butterfly feelings :) The pictures helped me get a better visual of the
project - thanks. Just as an aside (I picked that up somewhere) it was a little breath-
catching to see your name in my personal email box. I definitely see why you like to play
(I mean work) with the massive furnace - honestly, I still get excited watching a campfire
burn my marshmallow :) Along the same line talking about your education... I admit I
think I assumed you were currently working on your Masters degree with the hope of
completing a Ph.D., but I guess I didn't realize you were completing it so soon. I'm really
proud of you for pursuing it. Actually I'm jealous you get to be a professional student -
my mother never would have allowed it. I'm secretly one in my heart - which is a lot
cheaper than doing it for real :) How/why do people get weird when they find this out
about you?

The Lord. I'm glad you liked the quote, though you are making a very bold theological
statement by saying that the Lord makes it possible for us to love him. I read that as
saying that we would not believe and accept Jesus as Lord unless the Father enabled us to
do so. I know a lot of people who would vehemently disagree with you (if I indeed
interpreted that correctly) - though I am not one of them :) Apart from scriptural
references to that discussion, its relatively easy for me to accept and hope for the Lord's
involvement in our lives by grace because that's how I first experienced him. I highly
doubt that I ever would have believed if God had not decided that he wanted me, and thus
extended grace in such a way to overcome my stubbornness in thinking I could do
everything myself. Though this topic is not always the most popular to talk about - I think
its too much harshness in trying to convince someone, and not enough willingness for
discussion with them. And you're right, there is a certain relief in knowing we don't have
to earn our way to heaven - though relief doesn't seem a strong enough word :)

Day dreaming about a cute girl across the country... you're sweet...again :) Ok I guess I
can take a little correction :)

Deal breakers. So what's on this list of do's and don'ts? I'm curious, indulge me :) As for
accusations of being judgmental...if by creating a list of deal breakers you were being
judgmental against anyone it was probably more against yourself because those were
things you told yourself you either couldn't or wouldn't tolerate in a relationship. You
were limiting yourself not others. Sometimes its just best to know yourself this way. I
personally never made a list but as I've dated I've learned a lot about what I'm looking for
in a husband. Its a shame its a whole trial and error sort of thing. Its funny you mentioned
arranged marriages. Sometimes I wish I would have had one and I start to think of how
romantic it could be to fall in love with someone because of building a life together
instead of doing it the other way around. But I figure God is in those things too, and I
didn't grow up in a culture that highlights arranged marriages so I'm just going to have to
pray for wisdom and continue working on my writing skills :)

Relationships. Continuing with your point about bonds being formed while dating...I
think this is unavoidable since emotions are involved. The really sad part for me is that
when a relationship turns sour I don't just lose a boyfriend, I lose a good friend. Its never
the same after that. I agree with matching vulnerability with commitment, though
relationships always carry the risk of hurt (maybe that's part of what makes them kind of
exciting) :)....I'll talk about my relationship history later :)

Movies. I'm glad you like movies - they are a good release after a long day. And I'm even
more glad that you don't do scary movies. I absolutely hate to be scared so I'm no where
near being on any fan list for horror films, or scary corn mazes, or student loan statements
:)

Mental note... cross lines with vanilla chap stick :)

Traveling. Your first plane trip was last spring?! Oh goodness... well I'm glad it went well
:) I took my first plane trip at 3 weeks old and have flown several times a year every year
since, so I can't connect with you on this. I already know you prefer motorcycles anyways
:). Don't be jealous though, those places will still be there when you find time to see
them. And yes, traveling with someone makes all the difference. The other difference is
made when someone else pays for it :)

Unanswered questions. You have 10 motorcycles!? Where do you keep them? Alright
this is sounding more like an obsession than a hobby....but then again I always wanted to
know someone famous for their collection of '75/'76 Yamaha motorcycles, so I guess I'll
just accept it :)

Oh look, he answered the phone conversation topic with too much detail when I was
really planning to just give him my phone number...hmmm, must be the engineer in him,
cute. :) I bet you've never worked so hard for a phone number in your life. I guess we'll
find out if you're really real. I prefer you call anyways, so here you go :) 303-929-4907.
I'll be in the mountains Friday and Saturday at the retreat, so what does Sunday
afternoon/evening look like?
Relationship history. Divorced with illegitimate children?....Eharmony must be doing a
good job matching because I'm actually already married and carrying twins as a surrogate
for a gay couple from Thailand (ok, kidding, but a woman I work with is actually doing
that!). You're history doesn't sound too complicated. I bet school has kept you busy too -
us girls can be pretty distracting :) As for my history I had a high school boyfriend that
was on again off again for my junior/senior years. He pushed me a round a little bit, and
when he figured out I wasn't going to sleep with him, he broke up with me and spread
these awful rumors around school. No one really believed him, but it still hurt. I knew I
wasn't going to marry him, but I liked the idea of being in a relationship too. After him I
didn't date again until college (I took two years off after high school to work - this is
when I became a Christian). During my undergrad I felt a call to missions work so I
attended a training camp in Virginia where I met a man from Louisiana who also felt
called to missions. He was a youth pastor and when we went home we began dating long
distance. He was planning to move to Colorado a few months later. At that time I was
experiencing some strange things in my prayer life. I would pray for letters from him and
get one the next day. I had some strange dreams too about him too. The relationship was
very emotional I admit and I thought he would ask me to marry him soon after moving
here. But then he got really sick very suddenly the week he was suppose to move. He
spent three weeks getting better and then announced to me that he was offered a job with
the Salvation Army in Uganda for 9 months. He told me that this was a good opportunity
for us because then he would have enough money to make a good start here in CO. So I
encouraged him to go. He wrote me every so often, saying he didn't have a good internet
connection. I believed him, this was Africa after all. But then he stopped writing and
stopped answering my letters. I got worried, but there wasn't anything I could do. A few
months later I got an email saying he was getting married in a few weeks. That was hard.
It broke a part of me and changed my prayer life forever. I never saw him again. For
several years I didn't date at all. I was busy finishing my degree and paying for that
degree. I worked in the hospital here delivering meals for patients and met an new guy.
He was shy and smart and into cycling, nothing like I'd experienced. At first I didn't like
him but over the year we became really close friends and he started showing interest in
dating. We tried a date, and then he said he'd call, but wouldn't. Then I'd agree to another
date, and he'd cancel. Then he wouldn't call for weeks. I talked to him about how hurtful
this was to me and we took a break for several months, but I sprained my ankle falling
down my apartment steps and didn't have anyone to call but him. After that we went on a
lot of dates one right after the other (something about the damsel in distress). Then I left
my job at the hospital and he cancelled a planned date the night before, and then I never
heard from him again. He didn't return my messages and since I wasn't working with him
anymore I didn't see him. This summer I finally decided to confront him about it. He said
that he was a coward for leaving me that way, but said he felt that in all areas we were
equals except spiritually. It was that moment I realized that I wasn't dating a Christian,
and that this man was intimidated by my relationship with God. He promised to call me
when he left but I haven't heard from him. It only took me two years to figure him out -
cheesh. So, the count stands at losing boyfriends to an unwillingness to compromise
purity, move to Africa, and turn my back on God...not bad :)

V word. I appreciate your honesty, though I must say this elephant was not in my room...
but I'll be brave and tell you that I don't want sex before marriage, and I haven't broken
this conviction.

Now for your questions... I do make lists but I tend to remember everything for the sheer
reason that I wrote it down, so I end up with all these post-it notes everywhere with only
half the things crossed off. Its rare that I forget anything and I stay pretty organized so
I'm always the one in the group nominated as the "note taker."

First date. I think you need plenty of time to talk on the first date, but you need something
to help bring up conversation too. At this point in life I'm a little burned out on the coffee
date, but its easy to make it unique and go out for pancakes, or ice cream (I'll choose
frozen yogurt :). Or if you're in a good area, going to an art gallery opening or other tour
can be great (we have a tea factory here that is popular). What do you think is a good first
date?

Intriguing topics. I honestly don't think I can choose just one, it changes almost daily :) In
this moment in time, and especially because of my job I am really enjoying learning
about the human body as it ages. There is so much that happens to our cells and brains
especially as we get older. Plus, so many of the problems that my clients have are
physical and often linked to their medications. As I learn more about how our bodies are
meant to work and the way disease and deficiency counteracts it the more fascinating
creation seems, and the more careful I am to take care of myself. Though I have a note on
my desk to look into recycling programs and investment banking, so you can ask me this
question again next week, and you'll probably get a different answer.

I'm not sure whether to give you questions or wait to talk to you on the phone...well I'll
leave you with some things to think about and you can decide whether to answer them.
How do you feel about pets? (not skunks silly, more like dogs, cats, etc.) Do you have a
favorite cartoon you like to watch or read in the paper? What are you most afraid of?

I hope your day is filled with joy :)

Talk to you soon,
Ashleigh
Hello Cutie :)

I hope you had a good day!!! Mine went very well, I got a ton of stuff off of my to do
list… although I have to admit that I kept thinking about a really cute girl wearing white
flannel pajamas with newly cut curly hair… distracting in a good way I assure you :)

I know I have said it a few times already but I want to thank you for being patient with
me, I enjoy reading and writing these messages and especially like that little butterfly
feeling when I get to school in the morning and see in my email that I have a new
message :) I do have to admit though that I am a bit selfish, the main reason I like writing
them is because I know that after I do I will get another email from you… funny how that
works isn’t it :)

Unfortunately the pictures are going to have to wait until tomorrow since I am not on my
office computer so I do not have the pictures with me. Ah yes, the reason for my little
pyromaniac episodes :). Most of what I do is create computer models of buildings
exposed to fire, the whole point being to find cheaper ways to make them safer if
possible. The only problem with this is that you can not rely on just a computer model,
you actually need some data to make sure the model is running right… and for some
reason people do not like the idea of you burning a corner of the structure to see if your
model is right :) So as a bit of a happy medium I have to make scale models of parts of
the buildings and expose those to fire. What I am testing right now is a generic floor
system, we are testing several to get a bunch of data that will allow us to set up several
computer models which we will then use to conduct additional studies, really the goal of
my work is to develop design guidelines for the design of floor systems to make them
more fire resistant for cheaper. And lets just be honest… what is cooler than a furnace
that is 10 foot by 8 foot by 5 foot high that can go to 2000 degrees in about 3 minutes…
and yes, they pay me to play (I mean work) with this toy (I mean tool). As far as the
commute if I were commuting this far to work I would just move, some how spending 3
hours a day driving really cuts into my fun time :)

That is a beautiful quote, it is interesting though that love for the Lord is circular, the
Lord wants you to love him, but yet you can not do so until he makes it possible for you
to love him… it really just brings to the fore how important grace is for our lives… and I
agree that we have no clue how prevalent grace is in our lives, I like to think that every
time I have to stop at a stop light that is the Lord’s way of slowing me down because
otherwise I would have gotten in an accident a mile down the road… it is sobering to
think how much the Lord could be doing by preventing chaos from reigning in our lives.
I guess I look at the fact that my works aren’t enough as a bit of a good thing, the amount
of stress that having to do everything just right so you can go to heaven would be
overwhelming, knowing that the price is already paid is a phenomenal relief… although
who does not like a good dose of getting the credit ;)

I would have to agree that this will prolly be a transformational year for your friend,
moving half way around the world away form everyone to study the Bible for a year
could have the effect on a person :)

Hmmmm, mental note to self about subtlety being used when something is important :) I
was a bit worried when I wrote that that I was over analyzing the situation and writing in
too much of a technical format. When I want to cover something and make sure that what
I am saying is clear I tend to write in more of a technical style… but I am glad that you
liked the response :). I try very hard to not correct people, but I am going to have to make
an exception here, you said that if I want to day dream about writing perfect girls clear
across the country then I could… I have to take exception to girls being plural… like I
said, you are pretty much the most amazing match I have had, so I would have to make
that singular ;)

So it is interesting that you used several key phrases in your paragraph on long distance
relationships, the first one was the concept of a “deal breaker”. I was told before I started
dating that I should write down what I wanted and what I did not want and to stick to that
list whenever I started dating a person letting the don’t want things be deal breakers. I
have found that very few people seem to think there is truly a deal breaker, it is almost
like they think that if you enjoy spending time with the person that love will conquer the
rest (coincidentally this is the mentality that my friend who was divorced after 3 months
had. I have been accuse of being judgmental for having deal breakers because that means
that I prejudged a person before I know who they really were... coincidentally that person
who is Catholic just Married a Jewish girl on Saturday… they agreed to raise the kids
Jewish. I totally agree that dating has its fair number of pitfalls. I am not trying to sound
like the anti-romantic one here, but there is a lot to be said for the whole arranged
marriage thing. The idea of two people (ideally parents) who know their kids very well
sitting down and basically laying out the persons qualities and weaknesses while at the
same time having the kids best interest in mind would eliminate a lot of the problems
with dating. It takes a long time dating a person to get to know them and in that time a lot
of other things come into the picture that make the water muddy such that by the time
they really need to see clearly they do not know where they are and they can see
nothing… it is unfortunate though that in the trying people on for size thing that the
bonds are formed where you are starting to depend on and trust one another only to have
that bond however mature it is broken when the relationship ends… I almost feel like it
make is harder to form that bond fully once you are married. :). It does take a certain
amount of vulnerability to make a relationship work but that vulnerability needs to be
consistent with the commitment in the relationship, otherwise that can lead to a whole
world of hurt. Okay I could keep writing about this but I hate to think that you might fall
asleep reading it and bump your pretty head on a keyboard so I will stop for now :) as an
aside I did really think I was about the only person who used the phrase “play their cards
right” … interesting

Well I guess I totally can not complain about having a trip to Fort Wayne canceled the
night before, that is no where near as bad as not hearing form a person for 4 months then
finding out that they are getting married… that would be a bit of a surprise, of course
then again I found out about 4 months ago that the first girl I dated is engaged…. I almost
feel sorry for the guy… but you asked about that later so I will answer it later :)

Well I am going to have to add optimist to your list of qualities :), you totally gave me the
benefit of the doubt at every turn on that whole dancing thing, thanks… and don’t worry,
I am a pretty good student… lets face it, at this point I am almost a professional student :)

I personally think that movies are no where near as much of a problem as TV, I rather
enjoy them myself. Movies have the advantage that you watch them start to end and that
is it, much of TV on the other hand has an ongoing movie line that draws you in. Movies
you can watch and check out of reality for a few hours then they are over and you can
check back in. I will say though that I am not a fan of scary movies, if I want to be scared
I will look at my student loan statement, that is about all the more my heart can take :)

I guess I should have made an exception for vanilla scents, as long as it is not too heavy it
is heavenly… not to tread to close to any lines, but there is a lot to be said for vanilla
chap stick :)

Blasphemy, no bake cookies are amazing, especially when served with fudge and ice
cream :) Phew, I am glad you said you like cooking with other people, and especially that
you said it is romantic, that is one of my favorite things to do on a date, cooking together
can totally be fun, I never really cooked with anyone until I started dating... romantic is a
good word. And I totally understand that you are saying about grocery shopping, I have
the same problem at tooling supply dealers, there is just so much stuff that needs to be
looked at :), in all seriousness though I enjoy grocery shopping, but it is not something
that I have to set a time limit for :)

That is an interesting theory on how to control citizens of a country, I think I would

however prefer to stay here in the states where we for the most part have free access to
things :). From the sound of that paragraph you really have traveled quite a bit, again I
have to say I am jealous... as an interesting aside, I was on my first plane trip this spring
to go to a conference... it went really pretty well :). Were I going to travel to a foreign
country though I think I would much prefer to go with someone, one of the professors
here travels for conferences frequently, and he always takes a few extra days and takes
his wife with him, that way a lot of the trip is paid for and they get to see it together :)

Interesting unanswered question, though that is very similar to the one of which I was
thinking as my answer when I told you I would answer the question in return, when you
gave that answer I thought to myself... well that is not a big deal I will just answer the
relationship question... this only to find that question asked a bit later, so I will throw in a
few things, perhaps the first will be the most surprising. You never asked how many
motorcycles I have... the answer to that would be 10 with 6 of them being the same model
of Yamaha that was imported for only two years in 1975 and 1976, between my dad and
myself we have the worlds largest known collection of that bike :). But the original
question I had in mind is you know I am in grad school for civil engineering but you
never asked what level degree I am getting, you may have guess by now since I have
talked about job prospects that I am getting my Ph.D. That is something I will usually not
tell people for a while since they get all weird when they find out that I will be a doctor in
less than another year :) I will however defer the relationship question till it is actually
asked at the end of this email :)

Oh look, the phone conversation topic :). I really have no idea how the secure call option
works, I was figuring that we would just exchange phone numbers and arrange a time to
call. If however you would prefer to go with a bit more secure option, I figure that since
you know my last name you can listen to one of my lectures online and you can go to the
MSU website and figure out my phone number, where I live and a whole host of other
information, on top of that when I email you pictures tomorrow my emails automatically
put all of my contact information on the bottom so you will get it anyway, but with that
being said, I can just give you my phone number and if you are not comfortable with me
having your number you can just call me with a calling card so it gives a random number
as the call back and not yours... normally I would prefer to be the one to call you but I am
not sure how to make that work if you did not want me to know your phone number, so I
guess it would just have to go the other way :)

Ah yes, the relationship topic, well I am divorced and have 4 illegitimate children... okay
so not really (I could not pass that one up :) ). I went on my first date when I was 21, one
of my friends was in Vet school and she set me up with one of her friends who had
likewise not dated. We really did not have a whole lot in common and we had a lot of
different priorities but I think we both liked the idea of being in a relationship so we
dated for 11 months, I broke up with her because when I looked back at all of the things
on my must have and can not stand list she really was stacking up to have the lists
backwards, we got along well and always had fun, but it would just not work long term
so while it broke my heart and unfortunately I am sure it hurt her at the time I broke up
with her. Is happens that the following summer I worked with a girl at the Michigan
Department of Transportation with whom I got along great, so after that summer we
started dating, we had nothing in common, including that she was not religious, and she
maintained that even if she were to become religious she would not raise her kids to be
any specific religion because she would want them to be able to choose for themselves. I
will confess that my priorities were not where they should have been, she was a very
attractive girl so while I knew we would never get married we still dated for 4 months, by
the end of the four months it was obvious to anyone that the relationship was doomed
even though we were still dating and having fun. The night we broke up we went to a
play with her parents with whom she was very close, I knew them fairly well and they
were just totally different that night, like they knew something was wrong. That night
after the play she and I talked about it and decided that things would be best if we went
our separate ways. We kept talking for several months and would see each other
occasionally but she moved to Washington and as tends to happen we drifted apart. Since
then I have not dated other than a date here or there that never went anywhere, I have for
the most part resolved myself to making sure that I do not date a person who I know is
not right for me... sadly there are not a lot of people on the average college campus who
share my religious convictions so I have remained basically single. I will go ahead at this
point and address the elephant in the center of the room with this whole dating topic, I am
not saying you have to answer it if you do not want to, but I will answer it from my
perspective, I do not believe that sex really has a place in dating and to avoid using the v
word I will just say that pursuant to m belief I have not participated in that activity. (yes I
realize that to avoid using the v word I totally had to beat around the bush :) )

Well it would seem to be my turn to ask a few questions. Hmmmm, do you tend to make
lists for yourself to stay organize or do you just remember everything? What would be
your ideal first date? Is there any topic that you find really intriguing and or really love
learning about? And for one last one, what does your relationship history look like? (you
had to know that one was going to come back to you :) )

Well, I guess that will pretty much do it for me for tonight,

I hope you have a wonderful evening,

Sweet dreams,
Blessings for tomorrow,
Rustin

Good morning Cutie,

You really are too sweet, I hope you have a wonderful day :)

Talk to you soon,

Rustin

Good Morning,

My goodness...what are you building for your parents? By now I think you've laid
concrete across the whole of Michigan :) How you managed a weekend like that while
battling a cold I'll never know, but I'm really glad you are feeling better. You might feel
even better after some more rest :)

While by now I really look forward to your letters, I know they take time. Thanks for
letting me know you didn't have time to write - its better than being left to wonder.
Sometimes life is just busy, don't worry, I'm a patient girl :)

I hope you have a good Tuesday,

Hopefully talk to you soon,
Ashleigh

Hey Ashleigh,

I am glad to hear that you were able to take it a bit easier this weekend and catch up on
things... though I have to admit that I am a bit jealous :). So you are going to think I am
nuts but on Friday I ordered 10 yards more concrete for delivery this morning
(fortunately that was the last of the concrete to be laid this summer). The only catch to
that was we were not ready for it when I ordered it and there is no way to stop an order
for 7:30 in the morning. Well, Saturday we got started around 10 am and realized we had
a bit more to do than we had planned, we worked until 1:00 am, went to bed and got up at
7:00 Sunday morning (we skipped church which is very rare) and worked until 1:00 am
Sunday night, we then went to bed and got up at 6:00 this morning to finish up a few last
details before the concrete, all said and done we were ready for the concrete at 7:24 for a
7:30 delivery. We finished this morning and I got cleaned up and went to school getting
here about 2 minutes earlier than I needed for my class. Finally, I have no more deadlines
that are urgent, but I am really pretty darn tired, though I am feeling much better :)

On that note I have to apologize yet again, firstly for not writing to you this weekend and
then again because I am not awake enough to do your most recent email justice tonight :(.
I am going to head home to get some sleep and I will write more tomorrow. You are
sweet to put up with how busy I am and the fact that I can not write regularly right now, I
am not usually this busy and I am not sure why :\.

I hope you have a wonderful night,

Sweet Dreams,
Blessings,
Rustin

Dear ice cream loving Michigan cowboy :)

How are you feeling? I hate those little colds, they are so annoying. Its scientifically
proven now that chicken soup really does make you get better :) (Nothing published yet
on the health benefits of ice cream though). I haven't done much today. I've been writing
emails, reading, playing a little piano, napping with the kitty - its been great. When I got
back to work on Fri I had over 60 emails and 20 voicemails, so this weekend is my refuge
before the storm on Monday.

My goodness I think our letters are reaching novel length. I copied and pasted your last
letters into word processing so I can read your letter while I type mine, and together they
totaled 6 pages. You tend to write more on Fridays anyways so I'm glad I'm just resting
this weekend and can do your letters justice with some good responses :) And since you
enjoy doing it so much I guess I will just have to let you keep reading my writing and
sending me sweet messages back :)

Ok, explain to me why you light fires under enormous slabs of steel and concrete?...well
whatever the reason I'm pleased that it will allow you to graduate. It all sounds so neat.
With all the work that department is making you do I'm convinced engineers aren't
getting enough recognition in this world. And when you apply for your first job, you're
going to have to hold out for a better commute too.

I like how you said you rely on grace. I continue to struggle with wanting my effort to be
enough for getting things done - I prolly :) just want the credit. But its true that grace
plays a greater role in our day in/day out lives than I think we understand. Last Sunday I
went to church with my English friend and the preacher said that one of the most
important questions Jesus is asking is "Do you love me?" It was such a simple reminder.
At the end of the sermon he gave this quote by William Cowper - I thought you might
like it. "Lord it is my chief complaint that my love is weak and faint. Yet I love thee, and
adore. O' for grace to love thee more." Beautiful right?

I'm not sure exactly what my friend Linsi is studying at the Bible school. While she was
unpacking I looked through her orientation booklet. It looked pretty intense with a
weekly scripture reading schedule, memory verses, lecture schedule, and outreach events.
I don't think its like university where you specialize in something. I think its more like an
extended retreat. I write her almost everyday so I'm sure she'll keep me updated. She's
feeling kind of lonely and disoriented right now, but I keep trying to encourage her that
this will change when the school's community becomes better established. I think this
year will prove to be very transformational for her.

Thank you for understanding about my discomfort with the endearment "Sweetie." Your
response was well put and I really appreciate the acuteness and honesty with which you
wrote about it. I must say though that I'm surprised you picked up on how important this
was for me to write to you about. I have a bad habit of using subtlety when I'm afraid of
being forward. Well done :) It must be the introvert in you. In terms of the running away
of imagination, I have a reputation for being a big dreamer so I'm no model for staying
my anticipation and hope of things unseen. If you want to day dream about writing to
perfect girls clear across the county, don't let me stop you :)

I must confess you brought up some very interesting points with the long distance
relationship topic. This is a pretty dense topic to write about so forgive me for the
vagueness and essay sounding vocab... It is a shame that those people divorced after only
3 months. Perhaps they did not know themselves well enough to know what their
relationship deal breaker qualities and values were. Before you mentioned it I had never
weighed the advantages of being able to get to know someone intellectually and
ideologically apart from the physical connection. Being apart does force people to find
other ways to connect. I think so much of what I consider "knowing" someone to be
wrapped up in sharing experiences with them, which you need to be together to do, and
not just knowing things about them. Though I agree that sometimes the attraction and
emotions and absence of the messy things in life can give a false sense of truly
connecting with someone. But isn't that the trouble with dating in the first place? So
much about dating is more about trying people on for size to meet your own needs -
whether temporal or not, than coming along side someone and sharing in life together -
which is more the picture of life after the wedding. It takes a lifetime to truly know
someone, simply because people are complicated and in a constant state of change. So I
think there has to be an intentionality and certain vulnerability in a boy/girl relationship if
it is to survive - whether that's a Friday night movie, or a long distance romance. So I
guess the conclusion would be that yes, there are advantages and disadvantages to long
distance relationships with the hope that if the parties involved played their cards right
the relationship would continue to deepen and grow to the point that being apart would
no longer be an option. I guess like everything else it just takes good communication :)
That is so lame that the girl cancelled on you the night before after all that work bringing
the relationship to that point. Why is that ex's always call at the worst times? The only
time I dated someone long distance, the guy went to Africa for a short stint for the
Salvation Army and ended up sending me an email after 4 months saying he was getting
married! Shocked is not a strong enough word. I never saw him again, so I guess the Lord
did have other plans :)

Dancing. Well you were able to clap to the beat, not all hope is lost :) It is a rare person
who lacks a sense of rhythm, but I think you just need more practice multitasking. And in
your defense, you weren't in your element. I bet the music was new to you along with the
words, so don't be too hard on yourself, you had a lot to concentrate on. Don't be worried,
you'll be fine, I'm a good teacher :)

TV. I completely relate to TV shows taking over your thoughts. For several months I
watched "Alias" with a girlfriend and I started having the strangest dreams. I already have
terrible nightmares so I finally told her we couldn't watch it anymore. I confess though
that I love movies. Well I love talking about movies which isn't exactly like watching
them but still. And more than that I'm such a sucker for movie previews - I never skip
through them (another thing that drives my family crazy). And I agree going without
cable is not much of a loss.

Glad to hear you shower on a regular basis (I usually try to save that question for later in
the communication process :) In response to your question, I think there is a difference
between smell and fragrance. Every person has a unique smell from their chemistry and
that's usually what attracts me to a man - his natural smell. But more often than not
people mask that smell with fragrances from the products we use. But those chemicals
weren't meant to be in your body. I'm a big advocate for natural beauty and simplified
living so I don't wear perfume or use really harsh cleaners or air fresheners. But I do like
lotion with vanilla. I just tell myself its the most natural :)

I'm a big fan of talking through things. And where ever you got that trait, its a good one,
especially in a man :)

How funny that neither of us can score tennis. That makes me feel a little better. Did you
know that during the Reformation playing tennis was considered a sign of well rounded
character, education, and sophistication? It was one of King Henry VIII's favorite games.
I haven't played in probably 10 years, but I'd love to try it again
Baking. Seriously...no bake cookies? Don't worry too much, they aren't very good
anyways because all the good things that go in cookies need to be cooked :) But if you
are really set on getting them right I will tell you that I do well cooking with others.
Actually I think making a meal together or cookies is very romantic and a lot of fun. I
have a lot of good memories from my childhood cooking with my mother, so that's
probably where the joy of doing it together comes from. And you will probably think its
silly but I love going to the grocery store. I look at all the different foods and price
compare and imagine different meals to make. I usually have to set a time limit for
myself when I do the shopping because I spend way too much time just looking around.

And I'm so glad you share food. I've heard its the ultimate sign of selflessness :). My dad
and my brother never share with me. But honestly, how else is one suppose to try new
things? Keep working on your father. I've found that making yummy noises while eating
helps entice conversation around your food :) If you make people think you are having a
better time eating than they are then they are more likely to trade bites with you.

Travel. Well you just need a few months backpacking through Europe and then a
Mediterranean cruise that drops you in Israel and you'll be set. All the places you
mentioned are beautiful and worth your time, though I haven't seen Italy or Israel. Keep
trying to get to China through academia, its the best way to see it because the Chinese
love to conference about their cultural and industrial growth. I studied at two universities
there for a few weeks in 2007 and was blown away by the dichotomy of communism.
The universities are run by the government. The grounds were immaculate, expansive,
and technologically advanced. But the dorms were 6 or 7 stories high without elevators or
hot water. The students washed their clothes in the sink, hung them over the balcony, &
hauled thermoses of hot water from an outside tap for showers. Some of the people told
us that this was a way for the government to control their citizens - they limit individual
access to resources then freely supply them through government sponsors for the
compliant. I could tell you so many stories. It is a wild place.

Unanswered question. That is a very interesting last question. What question am I

surprised that you have not asked? Well...I'm surprised that you haven't asked me
anything about my job or my education. Your promise to answer your own question in
return intrigued me enough to give this a shot :) So here goes. I have a BS in Human
Services with an emphasis in Community Health and French. Basically that translates as
the undergrad to international social work. I kind of fell into it, which is a whole other
story about God's faithfulness. About 6 months ago I started working for my county's
social service network as a case manager. I have about 100 clients and I manage their
Medicaid benefits. I work mostly with people who have chronic medical conditions and
are at risk for going into a nursing home. I set up community services to help those
people stay in their homes as long as possible to increase their quality of life and
hopefully save the government a little money. Its all very complicated, characteristic of
anything bureaucratic, but I'm loving it so far. And I think I'm good at it. I'm good with
people :)

Phone. Now for the question you've been waiting for :) I would really like to try talking
on the phone with you :) How do you want to work that? I know there is a secure call
option on eharmony, but I've never used it before.

Just in case you needed more to write about and distract you away from your homework,
here is a few questions for you. Its only fair that you answer your own question...what
question are you surprised I have not asked you? And what is your response? And you
said you haven't dated much, so if you're comfortable to say, what does your relationship
history look like? (since its kind of a hard one I'll answer that one if you ask it in return
too :)

I hope you feel better.

Blessings for Sunday :)
Ashleigh

Hi cutie,

I hope that you are home and getting caught up on rest :). I am sorry I have been so
neglectful this last week, it really was a bit more than I could chew, I honestly think that
pushing so hard was what got me sick. But it is officially Friday and this weekend should
be more on the relaxing side :) So the first order of things to be done is for me to catch up
on the email that I owe you :)

So, as for where I left off in my response, dancing :), a bit of a true story on that one, so
at church last week we had a guest musical person who came in to lead the music for
worship, he tried to get us to do more modern stuff (something which the Lutheran
church is know to not participate in) and for one of the songs he had us clap to the beat
for more of a southern gospel feel. So there I was in the front row and for the life of me I
could not keep the beat with the rest of the people and sing at the same time, I finally
gave up on singing and just concentrated on the beat and was able to clap along pretty
well. So while the willingness to learn is definitely there, if I can not sing and clap to a
beat, I am a bit worried about being able to move and keep a beat :\. But I would be more
than happy to take you up on that little proposition :)

Hmmm, as a bit of an aside (not that I ever go on those :) ) to the television topic you
could say that I am detailed oriented, but that only applies to things I find interesting, I
have found that I have a problem at school in that when I have to do something that I find
boring I do not really pay attention... you can make your own inferences from that :). I
really do have to give you credit, you always seem to hit the nail right on the head. I
could never have stated it so well as you did but, that is exactly the problem with
television, and for that matter why I tend to prefer older movies that make you think. I
stopped watching TV when I was in sixth grade, at that time I am not sure why I did, I
guess I just did not think it was a good use of time, when I got to the dorms in college I
started to watch TV since that was about the only thing to do that was legal, after about
two weeks I started to have my shows that I would forgo other things just to see, and that
I would be thinking about during the rest of the day wondering what would happen next...
when I realized this I again stopped all together and have not resumed since. For what it
is worth I do have a television for watching movies, but since I do not have cable I only
get about 3 TV channels... not much of a loss I have to say :)

I am glad that you brought up the issue of smell, (and for the record I do shower on a
regular basis... even if I am a single guy :) ). The whole smell thing is a bit of an issue for
me, I have always tended to have a bit of a problem with people who wear much perfume
at all. I understand that women use more products getting ready in the morning than an
average man can possibly understand, and the fact that it is impossible to get those
unscented, and that is totally fine. But if I am around a person who puts on much perfume
(or in a house that has a ton of air fresheners) I start to get a headache and it is all down
hill from there... so I am curious, what are your thought on the issue?

Thanks for the detail and likewise splitting the question into getting and keeping
attention, you strike me as a very contemplative person :)

So this is going to be a bit on the dorky side, but I am going to go for it: how do you tell
the difference between an engineer who is and introvert and one who is an extravert?...
the extravert looks at the other persons shoes during a conversation :).

No need to apologize for a question, I figure that any question is a good question if it
leads to getting to know the other person better. I have to agree though that bringing
things up sooner is definitely better. I should add as an appendix to my response that I am
also the type of person who likes to talk about things, I do not like to argue, but if I do
leave due to an argument, though often times not as soon as I prolly should, I tend to
come back to the topic to talk about it with the other person. I have found that if I do not
resolve things in my mind and talk about it, that it bugs me for a long time. This actually
gets to be a bit of a problem since my dad refuses to talk about things (I am really not
sure where I got that trait :) )... all and all though things work out well between us :)

Of course I am still interested ;)

I have to admit that when I asked the sports question that I was thinking purely of the
observation thereof... yet again another insightful answer :). I have to admit that I am not
a huge sports fan, while I can sit down and enjoy a football game, I am not really a fan
for any particular team. As far as playing sports I enjoy tennis the most, though I likewise
am not sure how to keep score, on top of that I am not very good at it, but it is still fun.
The last time I played it was professors against students, the profs were both over 60 and
both my teammate and myself were about 25, we totally got our buts whooped, and it was
not intentional, they really beat us :)... in my defense though they play tennis against each
other about once a week...

It is a rare girl who can appreciate the difference between homemade and store bough
cinnamon roles, I agree there is a huge difference, but not many people seem to
appreciate it any more. Personally, I love cooking in general, though I have to confess
that I tend to lean more to the pasta and the Italian dishes, really though I think that it is
for the most part the challenge of it all. I will make a confession at this point, and trust
me I have tried this multiple times. For the life of me I cannot make no bake cookies...
now before you laugh, I do well at baking, and while no bake cookies are supposed to be
about the easiest things in the world to make, I just can not get it right. The real downer is
that they are never consistent, some are gooey and some are one step short of petrified :).
So I have to ask, do you like to cook with other people, or do you prefer to cook alone?

So I took things a bit out of order with my last email and talked about the long distance
question already, I just re-read my response and realized that I failed to mention that I
have not tried the long distance relationship thing before, I have gotten to the phone stage
and set up meeting the person (about 200 miles away) and they called the night before to
cancel, I never really heard from them again, apparently their ex-boyfriend whom they
dated for over 6 years called that day and said they wanted to get beck together... while a
bit of a bummer at the time I figure that just means the Lord has someone better in
mind :)

You are all together too sweet, the fact that you spent the time in England on a friends
computer (an typing on a laptop to boot) just to write to me is flattering :)

Sharing food... in my family it is a bit of a no-no, but for some reason I fell far from that
tree, My favorite way to do it is each person finds a few things that sound good to them
on the menu, they then talk to the other person to figure out what in that list sounds good
to them, you then both order what sounds good to the both of you, when the dishes come
you just spit it in half and share with the other person. I have actually gotten to the point
with my dad that the last time we went out to eat he was actually willing to share a bit... I
am making progress :). My step mom and I totally share the same opinion so normally we
wind up splitting a dish and sharing a bite or two with my dad :)

I would absolutely love to travel abroad, this country it beautiful, but to us a building that
is 400 years old is really old, in most of the other more developed countries it has to be
over 1000 years old to be really cool. I would like to see Israel as a first priority, but I
would also love to see England, Germany, France, Spain, and China if at all possible... I
was totally bummed when I found out that my paper for the China conference was not
accepted :(... oh, add to that list Italy as well :)

Well, that would seem to be the end of the questions... I guess now it is my turn to ask a
few... Looking back at the last email I asked a bunch so I will limit myself on this one :) I
am not trying to push if you are not comfortable with the idea, but how would you feel
about having a phone conversation?... and this is not really a fair question, but will ask
anyway :) what question are you surprised I have not asked yet, and what is your
response to it?.. I know it is a low question... but that also means that I have an answer to
it if it were asked in return :)

God Bless,
Talk to you soon,
Rustin

P.S. I wrote this at school but the internet was down so I am sending it from home after
your newest email, sorry it is a bit out of context :|

Hello :)

Did you have a good day? I hope so - I thought of you a lot. I'm falling asleep as I write
this but I wanted you to know I made it home to Colorado safely without any problems.
On the flight there was this computerized map of where we were flying. When we flew
over Michigan I prayed that you would think of me :) I know silly really. I wish you
could see me right now - I'm in these white flannel pajamas curled up in front of the
computer, oh yah and the cat is here too :). And I got a haircut today so the curls are
messy, all over the place - I'm sure you'd think it was cute :).

Thank you for your letter :) I always enjoy them. I'm too tired right now to do your
response justice about the long distance relationship bit but I just wanted you to know it
was great and made me like you even more. So I will just get some rest and let you finish
your letter when you have time - after you clean up from Purdue and the fire :)

Send me the pictures you mentioned - I really want to see them....my email is
priertreize@yahoo.com

Have a great night,

Ashleigh

Welcome back cutie :),

If my math is serving me right (which it often does not) you are back on Colorado right
now, I hope that you had a safe trip and that you were able to catch some sleep on the
plane.

I hope you will forgive me, I had originally planned on finishing my response to your last
email, I am however still at school and considering that I have yet to start the homework
that is due tomorrow at noon I think I am going to have to differ emailing until tomorrow
afternoon... Sorry

I hope you had a great flight,

Talk to you soon,
God Bless,
Rustin

Hey Cutie, :)

It sounds like you are having fun to say the least. I am not sure if you will get this before
you leave but I hope that you have a safe and uneventful trip home :). I have been staying
busy to say the least... today we lit a fire under a 13' x 15' concrete floor slab... we then
proceeded to push on it until it broke. It was a little more eventful than intended, we
actually had a few pieces of concrete flying around the lab and I totally managed to get
some air on a 20 pound piece of steel... the last part was really not intended ;). All and all
though the test data was excellent and I may actually graduate :) I would not only be
willing to explain more about what I am doing but I also have pictures :) ... and yes
mischievous is admittedly a better heading :)

While I appreciate your understanding if I do not have time to write, I rather enjoy
reading emails from you and writing back... so I figure I will just do so since I will never
truly catch up with all else:) On that note though, I hope you do not mind if my answers
to this email are a bit truncated... I will try to be more though again when the people from
Purdue leave... they are staying in a motel 1.3 miles from the lab... I live 70 miles away...
keeping up with them is proving to be a bit of a challenge.

I am happy to inform you that the metabolism seems to be as good as always since ice
cream was again the dinner fair :). And while I yet again appreciate the flattery by saying
that I am diligent, I am not always sure how true that is, I do what I can and rely on grace
for the rest... and much to my chagrin the grace actually compensates for much of what I
was able to do as well :)

Well it sounds like you had a busy day of moving, I would love to seen an old castle in
England, let alone have the privilege to spend a year living in one... I do have to say
though that every time I try to go east I always start out by going south :), the sad thing
though is that is true since we have a bit of a problem with a lake east of us :). So I have
to ask, what is your friend studying at the bible school? (Okay aside from the obvious
answer of "the Bible" :) )

Hopefully you had a good day touring around the city and seeing the sites, it also sounds
like you are in good hands staying with your friend :)

Sooo, to borrow an English term this is a bit of a sticky wicket, you brought this point up
twice in your email and it is a very valid point and was well to be brought up twice,
though you did it quite subtly in different contexts :). On the first count I will confess that
I overstepped what I agree to be a reasonable line in the whole internet relationship thing.
In my defense though I have not dated much and when I call a person sweetie I think of it
as referring to a person who is sweet in much the same way that cutie refers to a person
who is cute (and I should mention that you are guilty on both of those counts :) ) I did not
really think about the deeper more intimate context in which sweetie is used. So in
answer to your question it is alright that you prefer I not use the term sweetie, but along
those lines thank you for bringing up something that bothered you, sorry though I put you
in the position of having to bring it up. The second context in which you brought this up
is with reference to the long distance relationship question (and I appreciate your truthful
response) it is easy sitting at a computer on Friday night writing an email to let your
imagination run away and figure that the perfect girl is writing back to you on a keyboard
half way around the country, while that may well be the case it is prolly not a good idea
to count on it :). As for my take on long distance relationships I agree that it would be
best to live near by for a while before anything went long term, but there are advantages
to the long distance thing. I have know a fair number of people that enjoyed hanging out
together and always had fun when they were together, they wound up getting married
only to find that on the vast majority of the major issues they disagree, one in particular
ended in divorce after about 3 months...not a pretty thing. Long distance relationships
have the advantage (and admittedly disadvantage) that you get to know more about what
the other person is like intellectually and ideologically before you are influence by the
fun and physical aspects of the relationship.. this can however also be overdone, it is
possible to meet someone with whom your agree perfectly but you can not stand to be
around for some other reason. I guess what I am getting at is that long distance is all well
and go as long as there is frequent and significant together time. The other advantage
(and arguably disadvantage) to long distance relationships is that when you are together
you tend to be together for a few days at a time, this allows both people to get to know
what the other person is really like, if you are living close to each other the tendency is to
get together when there is a fun activity planned on a Friday or Saturday night, while that
is all well and good you do not get to know what the person is like during the non-fun
time. I guess what I am getting at is if you go to spend a weekend with a person you get a
better picture of what they are like when things need to be done around the house or
apartment than you do just hanging out with them Saturday evening after all of the "to
do" list is done. You can prolly tell based on the amount I wrote about that, that I think it
is a serious issue and I wanted to give it due coverage, I hope it all made sense, if not
please let me know and I will do my best to clarify :).

I have to apologies since I am going to have to be the wimp for the day and call it a night,
I will write more for tomorrow, but since I think I am coming down with a cold and I am
really tired to boot I am going to bed for tonight, sorry I could not respond to all of your
email.

I hope you have/had a wonderful flight,

God Bless,
Sweet dreams,
Rustin

Hey you,

I hope you are having a wonderful Wednesday...how's the fire prep going? You will have
to tell me more about that it sounds fun and... dangerous - I wish you could see my face
when I said that last phrase - I was going for mischievous :)

I fly home tomorrow - once again through Houston. I'm going to try and sleep on the
plane this time. I've had a really good trip, though I'm always glad to go home :)

I know you have a lot to work right now, so don't feel rushed to send me a letter if you
need some time to catch up, though I will say that I'm looking forward to hearing from
you again :)

Sweet Dreams, Lots of Blessings,

Ashleigh

Dear Rustin,

I'm glad you had a great weekend celebrating your birthday and passing your exam -
how's the metabolism? And I hope you are getting caught up in your work. I can imagine
you have a lot to do. I still can't believe all the things you accomplish each week. If you
need prayer for anything else, let me know :). I'm glad it brought peace, I think that's the
idea. A friend of mine defended her thesis a few years ago and about two weeks before
she realized that she couldn't use any of her research. She practically redid everything.
I'm pretty sure she didn't sleep for several days. But she passed and received her degree
so I guess it all worked out. You sound diligent so I'm sure that won't happen to you :)

The flight over to London was fine, just long. We had to connect in Houston from
Denver, so apparently you have to fly south now to get to England. When we arrived
customs took over an hour - which is pretty good for Heathrow airport. The next day I
moved my friend up to North England without any problems. We were hauling three very
heavy suitcases and nearly missed our train from London because of the horrendous
traffic (it was like herding cattle). We made it through and I immediately fell asleep on
the train. My friend is studying at Capenwray Bible School for the year. The school is in
an old castle in the English countryside - honestly is there a better place to spend a year
learning about God? The grounds were beautiful like something out of a movie. I think
my friend was a little disappointed with the accommodations and the limited staff
direction, but I'm sure she will come around. As soon as we arrived I had to hug her
goodbye and get right back on the train for London, but still I didn't make it back to my
friend's flat till almost 9pm.

Here in London I'm staying with a friend from university. She was finishing her master's
while I was doing my undergrad. She's originally from Ghana, so I took her around my
little town and to church, making sure she had everything she needed. She is a funny
African lady with the sweetest British accent. I could listen to her talk all day. She has a 5
year old boy and just had a new son 4 months ago. He is adorable! He cries when she
doesn't hold him so she ties him to her back just like a monkey and he falls right to sleep.
Her and her husband are taking such good care of me - they are feeding me so much so
its good you like a girl of "reasonable size" :). I haven't seen much of the city yet, but I'm
going to go around today and visit some sites.

You're last letter was rather good. There is so much to respond to but I will just have to
say that you are clever and sweet, and I'm flattered that you think I am a good match :)
And I like the fun flirting though I do have to ask...I don't mind you calling me "cutie,"
but "sweetie" is a little too intimate for me right now. Is that alright?

Dancing. I think you are overestimating the difficulty of dancing. Half the battle is having
a sense of rhythm and the other bit is a willingness to learn. But for the sake of intriguing
you and not for argument I have a proposition - how bout I trade you rides on a
motorcycle for dance lessons?

Television junkie. Awe yes...there were so many to chose from but that one is important
for me. I'm impressed that you caught that - I'm wondering if you are rather detail
oriented. I know the effect watching television has on me and I don't like it. It removes
me from reality which is probably the purpose - its an escape. But then I find its difficult
to reorient back to the real world where things really matter. I don't even own a television
and watch movies only occasionally on my computer. I hope to limit television time for
my family. Children can't possibly thrive in this world if they can only focus for the
length of a commercial or sitcom. Its a very unpopular opinion in this world, but still
pertinent I think. You were on the right track when you noticed the freshman coming out
of the lecture with their ipods on. I think its really sad how distracted we are from the
world, from each other, from the Lord. I hope my children, my family can be more
engaged in their lives instead of wondering why it passes so quickly.

Only you would think my idiosyncrasies are cute :) And thanks for answering the love
language questions, just to be a nice guy :) It seems our love languages are just another
thing we share in common.

I can understand now why you were attracted to my profile - brown hair, brown eyes,
constant smile :) Thanks for your answers, I love that you separated the interest and
retaining attention questions. I've never gotten real honest answers before. And I didn't
think you were too picky. And I asked more to get to know your preferences than because
I was worried about physical appearance, but still I appreciate your compliment :) And
you are right, its only fair to answer those questions in response...

As you mentioned, these are just preferences I've noticed about myself, but not hard and
fast requirements :) I tend to be immediately attracted to tall, thin men, with dark hair, but
fair skin. And with most women, a man's smell is a very attracting quality - though its
usually just their natural smell, nothing store bought (that may not make any sense to
you, but smell is very powerful). But the thing that holds my attention is intelligence with
gentleness. If a man listens to me genuinely and shows concern for me I think its great,
though I admit my independent streak tends to resist it at first, and a pleasant witty humor
only makes him more fun. I really haven't dated much so this is kind of a difficult
question to be thorough on. If you want any more details just let me know :)

I had a feeling you were an introvert :) Me too, though I've been practicing being more of
an extrovert, you know inviting people to lunch, making the cubicle rounds at work,
joining online dating (ok that one doesn't really count).

You were right, the conflict question was one I'd been thinking about asking. Its hard to
bring up and I appreciate your thorough answer. You explained it very well. I hope you
never have to say something in anger. I'm not very good at confrontation. I tend to freeze
or take things personally, though I think I'm getting better bringing things up immediately
that bother me or that I was offended by but know that I may have misunderstood. If you
bring them up immediately I'm finding they don't become bigger and more dramatic.
Sorry if that question threw you off guard.

Well, if you are still interested :) I will answer your questions...

Sports. I do like sports - any group game I think is fun. Ultimate frisbee is one of my
favorites. Though I must be honest and say that football and tennis are difficult for me to
watch or play because I don't understand the rules. I know that tennis is one of the easiest
games to understand but I still can't figure out the scoring. But I assure you I am very
smart in other areas :) I love baseball, and soccer, though I usually just cheer for which
ever team my brother thinks is best at the time - it saves the fight at family dinners
Cooking. I do enjoy cooking, especially for other people, though I live by myself so I
don't always get up the energy to do it just for me. I tend to be one of the cooks who
cleans as they go so they kitchen never really looks like I'm making much, but my
apartment fills up with the smells. My favorite dish to make? Well I like meals where
everything is mixed together like stir fry or chicken pot pie but I bet I could do a decent
shrimp fettuccine alfredo :) And my grandmother gave me a book of her recipes so I
enjoy practicing those - lots of cakes and cookies and side dishes. Every year my church
has a chili cook-off for the men and a cinnamon roll bake-off for the women. Two years
ago I used my grandma's cinnamon roll recipe which takes over 4 hours because you
have to raise the dough and I won! Of course I entered the next year with store bought
rolls and still won so I think the judging isn't the most accurate.

Long distance relationships. Its not fair that you got to ask this question first...I can't
anticipate your answer :) Honestly I think they can work, though I think they are hard and
require a great deal of intentionality and good communication - well that sounds like any
good relationship doesn't it? I have many friends who had long distance relationships
over several years and they have very good communication in their marriages now so I
guess it can teach you some good skills early. Though I confess I would probably have to
see him every few weeks just because I tend to miss people too much. And, along that
line, its easy to think I know someone because I write them letters and think about them
and talk about them to my friends, though sadly I think technology can create a false
sense of depth in any relationship, so that's why eventually living in at least the same
state would be important for me to gauge the reality of the connection and commitment
of the relationship. I hope that answered your question :) Since you brought it up...What
is your opinion of long distance relationships? Ever tried one?

I've already taken too much time on my friend's laptop so I will have end here. Lets say
we go to eat at a restaurant, and I order something and you order something...but I want
to try the something that you ordered because I think I might like it - I just want a taste :).
Do you share your food? And would you like to travel abroad? Is there a place you've
always wanted to see?

Blessings today,
Ashleigh

P.S. I'm having my fill of tea :)

Hello Sweetie :)

Things are going well in my neck of the woods, it was a nice to just be able to relax a bit
this weekend and enjoy the fact that I am done with my exam. This morning though I
came back and realized just how much stuff I had not done because I was concentrating
on the exam... I am really running pretty close to being swamped... especially since we
have a guest researcher here who is hoping to be able to set a floor on fire by the end of
the week (okay... so I love the pyro part of my job :) )

You sound like quite the trooper, I stayed awake for 22 hours and on the way home I hit a
construction barrel with my car because I fell asleep... I am pretty sure that I could not
make it for 48 hours straight. I am glad that you are having fun though, one day I would
love to see England.

Thank you for the birthday wishes, I did have a wonderful birthday.

Well, I would love to keep writing, but you should prolly be enjoying being in England
not reading emails from guys in Michigan ;)...

I hope you have a blast :)

Sweet dreams,
Talk to you soon,
Rustin

Mornin' (with an English accent :)

I didn't fall asleep at the airport and we made it to London safely - no problems. I slept
really well last night after having been up for close to 48 hours. I don't sleep at all the
night before I fly so it makes it easier adjusting to the jet lag. My friend and I had dessert
in the city last night - we felt so classy walking around, taking the tube, practicing our
British accents. I'm having a great time.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! If my math is right it is now officially the 26th though you are still
sleeping and I am eating breakfast after a walk in the park. I hope the day is wonderful :)

You are sweet to write me again - I also enjoy any message from you, no matter the
length :)

Congrats too on the exam - I wasn't worried at all.

I have to go, we are going to miss our train, so I hope you have a great day and hopefully
I will be able to write again soon.

Ashleigh

Good evening Cutie,

Sorry that I went a bit AWOL on you yesterday, I knew that you were traveling so I took
advantage of the fact that I did not think you would be able to check your email to brush
up on some of the stuff for my exam, I hope you do not mind :). My exam went very
well, they did ask me a few questions that I could not answer but that is the whole point...
to test you until you hit a limit because they want to know where the limit is. All said and
done though I passed with only minor recommendations for things I need do to improve
my research. I was and am very pleased with how it went.

I do have to admit that I am a total dork, I passed that exam and went out the lab where I
am testing the concrete samples that I took last week when we cast the concrete at our
house... my big celebration is breaking concrete :|

For what it is worth, I am not sure you know how much it really did ease my nerves to
know that you prayed that my presentation and exam would go well... thank you, you are
a true sweet heart :)

I have to admit though that I am a bit worried that you might fall asleep reading that long
email at the airport and miss your flight... I hope it was not too boring :). I do really hope
though that you do not feel like you have to write super long messages, it is nice when
you do and I enjoy reading them, but I know that they take a lot of time and I do not want
you pushing your schedule too much to be able to write long messages, I enjoy getting
emails from you no matter how long the message is :)

Thank you for the wishes for my birthday

I hope that you have a truly wonderful time :)

Sweet dreams,
Talk to you later,
Rustin

Good morning!

Thanks for the super long letter. I printed it so I can read through it at the airport. I was
really hoping to write you back before I left but I just wasn't able to. Sorry :( I'll try to
make it up later and give you some clever answers to all those questions. I hear they have
computers in England now so I'll try to send you a message for your birthday :) Have a
great one!

And if it helps ease your nerves, I prayed for your presentation and exam. I'm sure you'll
be fine :)

I'll be back Oct 2.

Have a sweet week.

Ashleigh
p.s. With the country music, cowboy boots, and guns I'm started to imagine you are some
kind of Michigan cowboy....

Hello Miss Insanely Cute :)

Hopefully you are having a good day :). I have been staying uber busy lately since I have
to take an exam on Friday that basically decides if the department thinks that the research
I have been doing is worthy of a degree... it is not quite my thesis defense, but it is getting
close... so yeah, preparing for that has been a bit on the stressful side to say the least... the
interesting part is that my advisor wants me to cover a whole ton of stuff in the
presentation that I do not have time for, it is a 30 minute presentation before they can ask
questions to examine me, I did a practice run today and to get through all of the stuff he
wants me to cover takes at least 45 minutes... alas, such is life I guess :)

So I see how this is going to work... we have been talking for only a few weeks and you
jet off out of the country :). That is really pretty cool though, I have yet to be out of the
United States (well except Canada,,, but when you are from Michigan that does not really
count :) ). I hope you have a safe trip and that you have fun helping your friend move :)

Wow, while I love fall I think I will take the 75 degrees that we have today... we will not
get the first snow until give or take the middle of November... while it is beautiful and
romantic, driving is snow is something I could do without :)

Well count you as the rebel, sneaking of to Barnes and Noble :) That sounds a lot like the
last conference that I went to, with the exception that engineers are not the best for
mingling and mixing. The whole thing was a serious of awkward silences... although we
did have a conference dinner that was open bar... people got really talkative by the end of
that :). As a side note that you will prolly appreciate, I was there with a friend of mine
who is a girl, and she could not get over the fact that the men's room had a line about 5
minutes long and the women's room had none... I think that was the highlight of the
conference for her :)

I am yet again oddly flattered that I have manage to come out ahead of Simba (very cute
name by the way)... but I have also learned another trick, if I want to get your attention all
I have to do is throw myself on the floor head first and whimper... of course after a fall
like that I would probably all out cry :). He does sound like an adorable cat... oddly like a
dog :)

If you can find the slave clone I will pay for shipping :)

You have to be careful about those guys from Michigan... especially the ones who start
taking over your inbox :). Hmmm, I am guessing that you are prolly getting flooded with
communication requests at this point... you know what they say about the early bird :).
And yes the fee is exorbitant, I think I have been on here for about 9 months now, while
not one of my first matches you are definitely one of the best ;)
Interesting insights, I guess I have never really though about the possibility of a guy just
wanting to be married and not worrying too much about to whom... interesting.

Well if that is true then I have another 3 days before my metabolism takes a dive... I will
have to make the best of that time :). You bring up a good point with the bars over the
kisses, the problem is that I like the hugs and I have yet to find a comparable chocolate in
the bar form. Also, the bars when you bite into them there are always the little pieces that
fall and get in the car upholstery... and I am just picky enough that I do not want the little
pieces of chocolate in my upholstery :). As a side note I have never been a huge fan of the
little Debbie snack cakes... they just taste so processed

Soooo, It is clear that you really enjoy dancing (like any good Baptist ;) ) and I am
curious, would you be willing to teach someone to dance... for the sake of argument lets
give that person the code name "Rustin" :)

To give a little plug for my skunk idea I have had very good luck with plants and skunks
are actually quite affectionate, much like the way you described Simba... besides how
much fun would it be do go into a motel to check in with a skunk on a leash... or the dog
park with a skunk... better yet... take him into Pet Supplies Plus with you :)

Well my little cutie, I thank you for the subtle reminder that getting older means that I am
closer to Heaven and dying... props to the inspirational speaker for the day :). While
junior high was not a fun time do you remember how little responsibility there was at that
age... I almost miss it in a way, but lets face it... I am still in school so while I may have
stress no one is able to sue me for mal-practice for at least another 4 years :). On top of
this being my golden birthday (which I did not realize till you pointed it out) I will finish
my exam the day before... if I pass... I will definitely have a reason to celebrate... lets not
talk about what happens if I don't pass :)

As far as my idealized rules for guns I got them the hard way. My parents did not really
have much for rules surrounding them (and by that I mean my access to them as a kid...
they had rules for their use and how I could use toy guns as I mentioned in the last email,
but when you are 12 getting home from school alone those rules are not really followed),
I know some of the stuff I did and how fortunate I am to have not gotten hurt, I would not
want my kids to be able to do the stuff I did... One thing that really stuck out in my mind
during the guided communication process was that you have television Junkie as one of
your can't stands. I have to ask how this would translate into you idealized rules for
"screen time" for kids? I ask that here since you mentioned that kids are only able to
focus for 30 minutes. It actually just happened to me about 3 hours ago where I was
outside of a large freshman lecture hall when class ended, I was watching the people
come out of the room and was amazed that upwards of 90% of them had Ipods in there
ears by the time they got to the lecture hall doors, this just amazed me...

You seem to have some pretty darn cute idiosyncrasies... I will let you imagine to which
ones I am referring :)
That is an absolutely beautiful description of the river you would like to share with your
husband, that also coincidentally says quite a bit about your priorities in life that you
would want to be able to take your husband to a place that has so much meaning for you
in your life... I also like that you describe catching a fish as catching dinner :) And thank
you for the honest answer and revealing that you cheat at board games... but then again
who doesn't?

Well, you did not specifically ask me the love language question in return but I will go
ahead and answer it... just to be a nice guy :). I tend to receive love best though quality
time and physical touch, I also show love in the same way except I throw in a good dose
of words of affirmation. The one way that I have a hard time both showing and reviving
love is with gifts... I enjoy giving and getting them, but it just does not really make it on
my love language radar
Now why on earth would I judge you for asking these questions? I do though ask that you
take my responses for what they are, simply preferences, none of them are set in stone or
must haves. I tend to prefer girls with give or take shoulder length hair, given the option I
have always preferred straight dark hair. This next one is really two questions, what
catches my attention and what keeps my interest. To answer the first, a smile is the first
thing that gets my attention, the second attention getter is a girl who is a reasonable size, I
am not looking for a girl who looks like Barbie or some kind of stick bug, but a girl who
is a reasonable size. Assuming the smile and size things are met the one feature that I find
captivating is eyes, two girls can have the same color eyes and ones are beautiful while
the others are not, I am not sure that makes sense… it is just a feeling, I can not really
explain it… I assume it is the same way with guys… but I have never really checked ;).
Given the option I prefer brown eyes, they are one step short of mesmerizing.

With that being answered, what keeps my interest? The first thing is a girl who is
intelligent and has a sense of humor. Other things like shared faith and politics are
necessary for a relationship, but I can be interested without them (though that interest
from the get go would not blossom into any relationship past friends). I hope I answered
your question without sounding to picky, these are just ideas, not something that is an
absolute requirement, I know women worry a lot about physical appearance, if that is
why you asked the questions then I will simply say you have nothing to worry about ;)

Hmmm, I am a grad student, and an engineering grad student to boot, I am pretty sure
being an introvert was a requirement in the application process :). If you care for me to
elaborate just let me know :)

Ya know, I am getting the impression that these questions are not ones that you just
happened to think about at the end of writing your email, these seem to be ones that you
have thought about in the past but did not want to ask until now… just an observation…
and perhaps a wrong one at that ;)

Conflict… I am assuming we are not talking about armed conflict… I tend to whimper in
those situations (and I assure you it is not a manly whimper :) ). So for me to set the
stage, lets say I am having an argument with my wife… whatever the reason is not really
important, whether the issue is trivial or not does not really change my conflict handling
technique. When I realize that an argument is turning into an argument and is no longer a
discussion or debate, I will usually point this out to the other party(s) involved, if they
persist in the argument I will usually just be silent hoping they will stop. When I find that
I am getting to the point where I am about ready to say what I really think (in anger) I
will go to another room or out to the garage to avoid saying what I might in anger. A lot
of people think that I leave because I do not care or am mad, that is not the case, I leave
because it is a lot easier to apologize of walking out of a room than for saying something
that you do not mean simply because you are angry. Words are powerful, while I like
everyone else slip up and say things that I do not mean, when in conflict I try to be very
aware of what I am saying and when I think I may say things I do not mean, I will leave.
This really stemmed from hearing my parents argue as a kid… I remember hearing my
mom tell my dad that she wished she had not married him, at that time I do not think she
meant it, and I know that she really apologized for it later, but from that point on my dad
was a bit more guarded because he always had that ringing in his head… doing
something like that to a person I love is the last thing I would want to do, which is why I
will remove myself from the situation.

On a bit more of a fun note… idiosyncrasies… well the first would be that I can not spell
that word for my life. Other than that I have a thing about light switches, I can not believe
that they are off the first time I flip them, I have to flip them on again then off or in some
other way check to verify that they are off… this is confounded by the fact that I can not
just look at the switch to verify that it is off… because the lights are off. I think the best
sleep is that you get after the alarm goes off the first time in the morning. When I get
nervous I tend to fill in spaces in conversations with ummmmmmmm. I also wear cow
boy boots pretty much everywhere… yes including church :). Oh and for one more I use
the word “prolly” :)

Well it would seem to be my turn to ask questions (which you are prolly glad to hear
since this message is insanely long :) ). You did open a bit of a can of worms here so I
have to ask, what physical aspects of a guy get your attention? What keeps you interested
in a guy? Do you like sports? Do you have any teams you follow? Do you enjoy
cooking? If so what is you favorite dish to make? I have already asked a lot but there is
one more thing I would like to ask, if this is too much to answer in one email feel free to
defer it (or any of them for that matter) :), what is your take on long distance
relationships?

Have a wonderful evening,

Sweet dreams,
Safe travels,
Rustin

I totally understand if you do not have time to write while you are away… I do ask that
you have a cup of Tea for me though
Hello there sleepy :)

So its been snowing here. Amazing right. In Colorado it snows the last day of summer
and the first day of fall, who knew. And when I was walking up to my apartment just
now, the air smelled smoky like when you first start a campfire - fall is one of the better
of God's creations :).

The conference was lame. Too much policy campaigning, not enough consumer
connection, but what did I expect at a national convention headed by federal agencies.
And my name tag was the size of a small car. It seriously took up the entire right side of
my sweater. I did the mingle and mix thing for the first couple sessions, but after lunch I
was over it so I left early and went to Barnes & Noble.

So I have this cat, well, he's more like a baby lion, and all he wants to do it cuddle right
on top me when I'm reading (you try finding a place for 13 lbs of cat on someone as small
as me - its really hard). When I come home from work he runs right to me and literally
throws himself on the ground head first followed by all his fur and enormous paws. Then
he proceeds to cry as if to say "Please, please pet me, I'm sooooo lonely!" Pathetic. And I
fall for it every time. He did the same routine tonight, but lost interest in me quickly
when he realized I was going to sit at the computer instead of focus on him. How's that
for competition? You are coming out ahead of Simba - Congrats :)

Worry free Sunday - check.

Don't ask Rustin's opinion about dresses - check.
Get Rustin a slave clone for birthday - umm...working on it.

Well, I'm glad we've established that you exist. If the whole of American fiscal lending,
auditing, and scholarship institutions think you exist I guess I will just have to trust
them :). And I don't work for eHarmony either. I work with plenty of medicaid clients
who wish they probably worked for eHarmony, but my only connection to it is as a
customer who paid an exorbitant fee for a tiny inbox that it filling up with messages from
some guy in Michigan. And I have never tried internet dating - actually you were one of
my first matches, and one of the first communication requests I received :) So that made
it all very intriguing :).

Hold on...the cat is wanting to be held again....

You are right to look at dating with the intention of marriage. Perhaps that means you are
not opposed to making well thought out commitments in life - whether for relationships
or other things. Although, I understand how women can get scared. We are easily
intimidated so a lot of times if a man is too excited about getting married right away or
puts too much pressure on the woman to fulfill his vision of the future we think they are
more interested in marriage, than in us as people, as companions. And I sympathize with
men that women are impossible to read. So what I'm trying to say is that I agree that
dating should be fun - we all need more fun in life anyway. Plus, people were made for
joy and if part of that can come from being with each other, all the better.

What is it with men and sugar? All my college guy friends ate massive amounts of sugar,
but they would sit and eat boxes of Little Debby snack cakes instead of ice cream and
chocolate kisses. But the real question here is why on earth would you buy the kisses
when the bars are cheaper and easier to open? At this point the topic of ice cream is way
out of control. But I confess the paragraph made me laugh and I've been retelling it to
some of my friends, but they said to tell you that a man's metabolism plummets after
25....sorry :) Ok, that was kind of harsh. I guess you can find comfort in finishing off that
box of ice cream without getting a bowl :)

Blasphemy. There is absolutely no dancing in heaven. Why do you think I'm trying to get
my fill of it while I'm down here? Ok, I really have no idea where that silly rule came
from. Of course there is dancing in heaven.

Do you really want me to answer the question about the skunk? Maybe you should start
with a plant :)

Your birthday is so soon! That's great! 26 is closer to 30, but farther from 13:) Do you
remember how awful junior high was? Maybe you could look at getting older as getting
farther away from bad memories and closer to heaven :) But since we are sharing secrets
I confess that I have several friends who send me the same "Happy 21st Birthday" card
EVERY year. It helps keep things in perspective :) Plus, did you even notice, but this
year is your golden birthday because you are the same age as the day you were born. That
is very special and worth celebrating. And if you find yourself getting depressed just
remember that my golden birthday was on friday the 13th :( Seriously, how does that
even happen?

Well, its a bit of a relief to me that you have some good rules around guns. I'm
completely in agreement about the video games especially. As if life wasn't already
violent enough with movies and news, but now we have video games that reward people
according to how many people they kill. And then we wonder why are children can't
focus for longer than 30 minutes. And I heed your fair warning about trying to get me
shooting, just be prepared for resistance :)

I love that when you abbreviate answers, all that comes out is sarcasm. Who does that?

Pet peeves. I know we like to pretend that we are perfectly altruistic, but hair in the drain
is gross - I'm completely with you. For me, I hate when people chew with their mouth
open. If what you have to say is really that important, let me assure you I will be plenty
patient and wait for you to swallow. And I don't do well with dirtiness or clutter either,
even if it is clean :).

Idiosyncrasies. So these are suppose to be peculiar. Hmm...well, I can't walk on grates in

the street. I know they are safe but I'm still afraid I'll fall through. I have to walk around
them. And I play with one earring when I'm thinking about something I don't understand.
And I don't wipe of knives after I use them, I just put them in the sink. It drives my
brother nuts. I'm sure I have other ones, but my friends would prolly :) be better judges.

Sharing with my husband. Since I'm no cheater except at board games, I will answer this
one honestly. At first I was going to say that I would like to share some kind of service
project with my husband - whether faith related or just in the community. But as I
thought about it more I changed my mind. See, there is this river near Gunnison, CO
where my grandpa learned to fish in the late 30's. Then he taught my dad. And my dad
took my brother and I nearly every summer fishing on that river. Its a pretty rugged
current because the water falls from a dam up stream and runs through the canyon, but
that's what makes it challenging and fun - you have to know the river to make it work for
you. I would love to share that place with my husband, even if only once. He wouldn't
have to fish, but it'd be best if he was willing to try because that's how you build the
memories, standing waist deep in freezing mountain water, fighting the current, hoping to
catch dinner. It's one of my favorite places :).
Love languages. Interesting question. As I understand it, a person receives love in one
language, but may give love in another language. My receiving love is two fold. I
definitely feel loved when someone spends quality time with me, though I also receive
love through physical touch. Both of those make internet dating very hard for me :). But I
think I give love by words of affirmation. Its really easy for me to compliment someone,
encourage them to try something they are afraid of, or comfort them when they are sad. I
think words are very powerful, especially when spoken to benefit others.

New questions. Now don't judge me but do you like long hair or short hair on women?
What catches your attention and interest in a woman? Do you consider yourself an
introvert or extrovert? How do you handle conflict? And I liked the idiosyncrasy one so
you get that one too :)

Just to let you know too, on Thursday I'm flying to England to help a friend move and
visit another friend and her new baby, so I may be away from a computer for a few days.
Now that I'm accustomed to getting a message from you almost everyday, this will be
really hard :), so if it takes me some time to get back to you during the next week, you
know that I'm out driving on the other side of the road and drinking tea so don't be
worried :).

Have a great Wednesday,

Ashleigh

P.S. insanely cute is one of my specialties :)

Hey Ashleigh,

I just wanted to say that I hope you had a good day :). I am heading to bed here in a few, I
hope you have a wonderful rest of your evening.
Sweet dreams,
Rustin

Ashleigh,

So you totally brought a smile to my face tonight when I sat down for dinner, as I was
eating the ice cream out of the box I could not help but think of you… it is sooooo a
dish :). And no, I do not usually eat straight from the box, but if the box is almost gone
what is the point of getting a dish dirty… :)

Have a wonderful night cutie,

Rustin

Good Morning,

Thanks for the heads up... I am sure that if I do not hear from you I will just cry myself to
sleep tonight :). Okay just kidding, I hope you have a wonderful time at your conference
and a splendid dinner.

Catch ya later,
Rustin

P.S. I was thinking about you to this morning ;)

Good Morning,

I of course was thinking of you so just wanted to give you a heads up that I'm in a
conference in Denver all day today and then have a friend for dinner till late so if I don't
get to writing you back don't worry :)

I hope you a have blessed day. Talk to you soon :)

Ashleigh

Good evening Cutie :),

I hope that you had a good worry free Sunday. As usual I went to church this morning
and then came home to work on stuff around the house, I have to admit though that it was
a nice refresher since I spent Saturday in the office. I do have to admit though that school
is a lot more laid back on the weekends... in a sick demented almost masochistic way it
was kind of fun :)

Ah yes my silly little girl :). The irony to this whole thing is that I write these messages in
word then copy and past them into the little boxes on eHarmony (that way I can hid the
fact that I can not spell to save my life) and in the process of copying the message over I
made the active decision to have the second message start with that paragraph even
though it would have fit on the bottom of the previous box... just and interesting
coincidence :). Also interesting is that I have on occasion thought the same thing about
people working for eHarmony. I let my subscription lapse after having not communicated
with anyone for over three weeks, the following day two people contacted me, after I
rejoined I never heard from them again... and besides, who does not love a good
conspiracy theory. I however also can be honest to a fault (that is why asking me if a
dress makes you backside look big can be an interesting situation :) ) and I figure that an
honest question deserves an honest answer so on that note I do not work for eHarmony...
if I did I would need a new job, something about paying a monthly subscription fee to go
to work just seems counter productive :). Along those same lines, the IRS, Student loan
company, MasterCard, and Visa all seem to think that I exist, so I guess I have to
conclude that I really do exist as well :). If you are really curious you can go to the
Michigan State web page and type my name in the people search box... they say I exist
too :), and if you do that you will figure out my home address which you can then google
earth... if you get into that kind of thing :). Some how I can not help but think that you
being silly is insanely cute, to be honest, I would really like to be able to give you a hug
right now :), Correct me if I am wrong, but I am assuming that you also do not work for
eHarmony either :)

I would love to be able to clone myself, but then I would have to compete with myself for
getting to talk to you, and while I like a challenge... that would defiantly be my match.
Besides, I am pretty sure that the world does not need two of me... although if I could get
the second one to work as a servant to me... that would be pretty sweet since he would do
everything the way I would... this has real potential :). In all honesty about the sleeping
schedule I do not sleep as much as I should, I have a bit of a reputation at school for
taking naps during the day. I figure that if I am really tired I am better off taking a 20
minute nap then waking up and working than I would be if I tried to just work tired. It is
actually working out pretty darn well... although there are a limited number of ways to
sleep at a desk and be comfortable for long :)

When you say that you have never done something like this are you saying you have
never tried internet dating before or that you have never really gotten into the open
communication where you are sharing your sense of humor before? And for the record, I
rather enjoy your sense of humor, you also write pretty darn amazing emails :)

I am glad that I did not scare you off with the future focused questions, a lot of people
read them and think that I am trying to go way to fast and they get scared... I look at it
and figure that I am dating because I am trying to find the girl that the Lord wants me to
marry, if I do not figure out what she wants and what I want out of marriage, than I am
missing the most important part of dating. I can go out with most people and have fun,
but in the process of dating figuring out if this is the right person is the most important
part and the fun you have is just a bonus :)

Favorite dish that my step mom makes... well that is a no brainier... fudge brownies with
vanilla ice cream and chocolate syrup on top :)... that totally has to count as a dish, it has
three food groups :) As an aside I should warn you that you are talking to a guy who has
on more than one occasion purchased on the way home from school a 12oz. bag of
Hershey's kisses and consumed them all in the following 1 hour car ride... and the thing
that most girls find appalling is that I still weigh 145 pounds :)... gotta love metabolism :)
Since you are prolly thinking to yourself that I have still not answered the question... you
are right :). I though would have to say a good shrimp fettuccine alfredo is my favorite...
the down side is that shrimp here are insanely expensive so that dish is a bit more of a
treat that a staple (unlike the brownies with ice cream and syrup... which by the way
make a great breakfast if you leave off the syrup :) )

Shhh, it is our little secret... and while we are talking about secrets... much to the dismay
of Baptists I think there will be dancing in heaven as well :)

When I was proof reading that last message I really considered toning down the section
on prayer, I am glad that I did not :) It is a true blessing to live under the New Covenant
and be able to approach God freely as a loving compassionate God and Father. I like to
look at it like any relationship. If you do not talk to the person with whom you are in the
relationship how can it grow? Yes God knows it all already, but I am sure that much like
a teacher who has been teaching the same subject for the last 40 years who loves to see
the light go on in a kids minds, that God likes hearing from us. As yet another aside... I
was out meandering around the yard today praying when I found that I had a bit of
company... I was joined by a skunk... I did not get sprayed but that definitely tends to
spoils the mood :)... but as an aside from the aside I have heard that skunks make great
pets... any thoughts? And yes, they are de-scented and use a litter box :)

This is one of the things that I like about you, you have the ability to look at a situation
and see things that I totally missed... the transparency factor that prayer would add to a
relationship had not really entered my mind. But more importantly the need to be
cautions praying with a significant other before marriage is eminent thus putting intimacy
ahead of commitment... a very good point. That is definitely an interesting list of
awkward things :), but as you said it can all be worked though if both people have the
same end in mind and a willingness to work though it.

Total bummer that people try to double dip on your birthday and Christmas present :), as
far as the story I will differ to your better judgment. My birthday... this years is going to
be pretty darn depressing, 26 sounds so much older than 25... it is like saying "alright
world I am officially closer to 30". This untimely event will happen on September 26th

That is a relief to know that you are not opposed to hunting :). I was allowed to play with
toy guns growing up but we always had the rule that you had to treat it like a real gun,
you can not point it at anyone or pretend to shoot people (with the exception of nerf
guns... I mean that is what they are for) I was also not allowed to play computer games
where you were shooting a person, at the time I thought it was just dumb but now I
totally see why and would want to extend those rules to my own family as well. Fair
warning though, if you hang around me long enough I will prolly (and that is totally a
Midwest thing) try to get you into shooting a bit :)
I have to apologize at this point since it is getting late and I should be getting to bed... at
the same time I really want to keep writing to you... so on that note I am going to have to
abbreviate the rest of my answers :
That sounds like a very practical way of looking at life and planning for the future.
Though I have to confess that I always wanted 2.4 children...

Pet peeves, I would like to pretend that I do not have any but truth told I do have a
couple... one of the biggest is hair in the drain... not sure why but it drove me nuts
when I lived in the dorms, also dirtiness in general bothers me... though I am
pretty much okay with clutter... just so long as it is clean clutter :)

I will try to limit my questions here... I got carried away on the last email... so here
it goes. Do you have any idiosyncrasies? What is an activity/interest that you
really would like to share with you husband (faith is totally cheating :) )? Have
you read the book the five love languages? If so what are your love languages? I
will be good and let it go at three :)

Have a wonderful evening and day Monday,

Sweet dreams,
Rustin

Well hello there cutie :),

So I did something completely silly. Now I must preface this by telling you that a friend
of mine was so concerned about me being on eharmony that he told me all these awful
stories about people saying the site is a scam, & the people you are matched with aren't
really members of the site, & even if you do start communicating with someone they
really work for the company & are just trying to keep you renewing your membership.
And all this conspiracy theory talk really upset me because I want you to be real :) So I
prayed before going to bed asking the Lord to please help me understand all the doubts
going through my mind. So here is where the silliness comes in. I was rushing yesterday
when I checked my email & my eharmony inbox. And in rushing I only opened your 2nd
message, the one beginning with "So are you serious that you really exist?" With all that
having happened the night before I about fell over when I read that line. Here I was
doubting if you were real and you were asking me the same question! I read through the
2nd email and thought it was kind of odd (I know now its because I only had half of it :).
You didn't sound like you normally do. I rushed out the door and have been worrying
about it all morning. So I sat down just now to write back and found the first part of the
email. Oh brother, I was completely shocked and overjoyed at what I had done. So
basically it was silly to be rushing, and silly to doubt and let my friend get to me, and
finally just plain silly to worry. So I assure you that I really do exist, and am usually
honest to a fault. So honest question, are you real or do you just work for eharmony? :)

School on Saturday?...lame. I do hope you got a lot done though and had a wonderful
Friday also. I've been thinking about how busy I was when I was in school and working.
When do you sleep? You honestly must have endless energy. You lay concrete, work on
motorcycles, give presentations, drive 800 miles a week, write cute girls long letters
about ice cream and Lutherans, and who knows what else you do. I hear there is new
technology being released around cloning....you might want to look into it. I am
definitely having fun with these letters. And I too get that excited feeling with each letter
- even the short, "have a great day, I'm thinking about you" kind :) Nice touch. Plus, its
rare for me to share humor like this, especially with a man. Most men find it intimidating.
And I have never done something like this so the mystery is very intriguing too.

I must say I am very impressed with your future focused questions and perspective. It is a
rare man, and sadly a rarer Christian man who, as he gets to know a woman, intentionally
looks ahead to marriage and the life built around it. From a woman's perspective this is
very comforting and encouraging to respond to because it shows "certain people" that this
man is aware of the value of what he is pursuing and affirms in his character that he is
able to discern what he wants. All that to say I think we agree on many things
surrounding what we hope marriage will be and who it is meant to glorify. As a side note,
how interesting that we have both experienced divorce and this created a deep desire to
avoid it ourselves, instilling a willingness for compromise and patience with others in
conflict. I'm not sure that is most people's response to it :)
Alright, along with everything else sweet about you, you must have a sweet tooth because
ice cream cannot be your favorite "dish," its a dessert! At least peanut butter has protein
and comes from something naturally grown in the ground. And who doesn't like
something beginning with "chocolate chip cookie dough"... I insist that you pick again.
Its suppose to be unique silly. Here, I will help...What is a favorite food that your step
mom makes?

There are Lutherans in heaven? No one told me :) Does the Baptist General Conference
know?

Prayer. In no way do I think you are nuts. Except you say "prolly" a lot. Must be a mid-
West thing:) For me prayer is one of the best things Jesus bought us on the cross. I really
cling to verses that affirm that I now have freedom to approach God with confidence.
How neat is that?! I agree with you that being alone outside is a perfect time to talk with
the Lord. As much as he made us for relationships and community, I know he enjoys that
intimate time with us. I try to balance prayer with worship and request. I pray before I
read my Bible that God would open my eyes that I would see wonderful things in his law.
I ask for wisdom a lot because I learned early that my own ideas usually just get me in
hot water. Just recently I started praying more regularly with friends over the phone, and
for my pastor and my church. For a long time I didn't understand why the Lord wanted us
to pray for people if he is already sovereign with a good plan in hand. But He showed me
that praying for others helps us draw near to them and teaches us to love them better.
Plus, when the Lord answers specific prayers it strengthens my faith which helps me be
more obedient to his will and to trust him more easily.

And yes I want to make prayer a priority with my husband. If you are going to live
together as one, praying together, I hope, could only help with communication,
transparency, and love. I would want to be careful though creating this kind of intimacy
in a relationship before marriage was clearly on the horizon. I think intimacy in a
relationship should mirror commitment. And I had not considered the initial
awkwardness until you mentioned it. But in relationships most things are awkward the
first few times - the first kiss, the first fight, the first, dare I say it, flatulence :) But
awkwardness can be embraced and pushed through. It just makes for funny inside jokes
later :)

I will tell you the story about my high school perfect day another time. It involves the ex
boyfriend which are always stories left for later :) So I'll just try to distract you & tell you
that my birthday is the 13th of December. Birthdays are my favorite, but I have to really
play defense that month because people are always trying to roll my birthday gift &
Christmas gift into one. When is your birthday?

My thoughts on hunting...well I'm not against it. I've never been hunting but knowing my
tendency to gasp and swerve for a ground hog it would probably take quite a bit of
convincing to get me to try it. Sorry :( And I have to tell you that I am not a big fan of
guns either. I confess its mostly fear. My father has guns (he has a small game license too
so he can shoot squirrels in city limits, awesome I know). He kept the guns at a
neighbor's house when I was little. But growing up my mother would not let us play guns
or pretend to shot people with anything resembling one and that is definitely a rule I will
have for my family.

Ideal family...2.5 kids, one dog. Alright, kidding. I must tell you Rustin that I don't hold
out for a lot of ideals. I spent a lot of years before I was a Christian planning my life and
expecting things. But God has taught me to be more content with what's happening now
while I trust him for my future. I can tell you that I am excited for a future with a husband
and several children. And I hope on the weekends we have sporting games to attend, road
trips, Sunday school & if at all possible, some rest :) I want to take care of my family and
love on them and hopefully instill in them a love for the Lord and a curiosity about the
world and its people. There is so much life here to help us prepare for the next one, I'm
really looking forward to sharing it with them :)

At this rate if I ask too much more I won't hear back from you till next Friday. So I'll just
ask one question. What are your pet peeves?

Have a great Sunday :)

Ashleigh

P.S. Every time I see a motorcycle now I think of you :)

Hey Cutie :),

I hope that you had a wonderful day. I have to admit that I am a bit sore today, I took the
day off yesterday to lay the concrete we were getting ready for at home. It was fun, but
17 yards of concrete was a bit much for two people to attempt in a day. We got it done
and it looks good, but I am definitely feeling it, to top it off, since I took Thursday off I
am planning to come into school this Saturday :(. On the bright side I am sure I will get
tons of stuff done tomorrow with no students around :)

Phew, so now the pressure is on, now I feel like I have too keep the bar for messages
where it is, I will do my best :). I am a bit flattered though that I was able to distract you
with my letter through the course of the day. You have no reason to be nervous writing
these emails, I look at them and figure that they should be fun, I enjoy being able to write
to a cutie like you and I enjoy that little excited feeling when I see the “new eHarmony
message” email in my inbox… I just hope you are having fun too… I should be careful
here since I am not implying that this is a game, just that I am enjoying getting to know
you… I hope that made sense :)

Having internet totally makes you more grown up :). It is interesting that you are a mac
person. I have always used the PC and have been thinking about getting a mac… As far
as the internet we got it back in 2000 when my dads work was paying for it, they have
keep paying for it and since everyone at home has access to high speed internet at work
we just live with the free dial up since we don’t want to pay for high speed… yes… my
family is just that frugal… it usually works pretty well until certain people tell me that
they posted new pictures on eHarmony… then it is frustrating ;)

Well, you are right that my engineering ability is capitalized on at home, but I figure that
they paid for the undergrad degree so I am just giving them a return on the investment…
besides it is really fun :) (and my step mom is an excellent cook :) ) Peanut butter is a
total necessity, my favorite thing to do with pb (and yes I started this when I was 5) is to
spread it thick on toast then put cinnamon and sugar on top of that… absolutely delish :).
Favorite dish though… hmmm… it prolly changes day by day, but right now I would
have to say chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.

I have to confess that I enjoy a good fire and brimstone sermon :). Really the Baptist
thing comes down to the fact that Lutherans are willing to tolerate a bit more deviation
from the Bible than the Baptists. As far as leaving the Baptist church, I can assure you
that there are Lutheran in heaven too :) (at least that is what I am counting on :) )

I can pretty much guarantee that if things keep going well that a motorcycle ride is in the
future ;)

For having not grown up in the Church the way you write has a lot of elements of religion
in it, like saying that we were not intended to experience the hurt of divorce… it is
interesting, that says a lot about your faith… but I will keep that inference to myself… no
worries… it is a good inference :). The inference is also further confirmed by the end of
that paragraph. I could not agree more with the saying that a cord of three strands can not
be easily broken (I read that somewhere… it was a good book :) ). The interesting thing
about having a mutual love for Christ in a marriage is that when the other person does
something that is upsetting or hurtful, you can look to God and realize that he loves the
other person just as much as he did before they did whatever it was, and he loves you
despite all of your hurtful actions… how then can you be mad at your spouse? It is
perhaps something that needs to be talked about in love, but nothing to get mad over. And
while you may say that it is not romantic by the world’s standards, the paragraph you
wrote about how you think Christ should be in a marriage is one of the more romantic
paragraphs I have read… also, though you do not like ice cream you said it may be
necessary after a fight… sounds like you are the type who is willing to compromise ;)…
fear not, I could be talked into splitting a jar of peanut butter :)

I like to look at dating and think that the person I am on the date with is a child of God, in
essence, I am asking God to let me date his daughter. With how much he loves her and
has helped her in her life, what right do I have to be mad at her for something, she and the
relationship are a gift from God.

While not a requirement it definitely counts as a plus :) I would not close a match if I
learned that I had to keep my Buddy Holly CD in my car :)

I am not positive I will have to move out of Michigan, but with the way the job market is
around here I may well have to. My reason for asking if you would be willing to move is
not because I want to move every few years, but that I would like to be able to move to
follow a job if it is necessary and the Lord is leading in that direction. My degree will be
fairly specialized, there are not a lot of structural engineers with a specialty in fire
engineering. There are plenty of good jobs, but I have no idea where I will end up, and I
would like to have the freedom to move if necessary. I would of course like to work in
the same company for my entire career and not have to move around… but who knows
what the future holds. I will hopefully be graduating in May of 2010, but that could well
be delayed as late as Dec 2010… depends on what my committee has to say.

You totally sold me on Colorado when you eliminated my secret fear of Pirates… phew. I
do love Colorado though, I have family in Montrose and I get out there to visit them
every few years, two of the last four years I went through there on my motorcycle, it is
absolutely beautiful… I am starting to think that the locals are pretty sweet as well ;)

You have to know that I would love to hear the story about your perfect day description
in high school… but you do not have to tell me if you don’t want to :) That sounds like an
amazing day. You had me sold at the steak for lunch :) again though I am flattered that
me letters made it into that day :)… there is so much I could say about that day, but I am
going to jut say that you are cute and sweet and then let it go at that :)

So I have a confession to make, I love to hike, but I have a bit of a problem. I was in a car
accident as a kid and I hit the dash pretty darn hard with my knees, I did not worry about
it until later when it was starting to hurt, as it turned out, I messed up my knees, while I
can walk fine and it does not hurt, if I try to walk I will make it about 3 miles before it
starts to hurt and after 5 I will need someone to carry me the rest of the way. So in answer
to your question, I love hiking, I just can not go for really long hikes in a day. Fall is
coincidentally the best time of year for hiking, it is so beautiful with the colors and the air
starting to get crisp. Out of curiosity though, what day in December is your birthday?

Hmmm, are you trying to say that you liked to sniff the dry erase markers in 2nd
grade? :) I do have to say though that I have always been fond of the name Ashleigh,
though I never knew it could be spelled that way :)

Sooo, are you serious that you really exist? You like driving a manual... I would have
sworen that no one besides myself liked manuals, they are a total blast to drive and they
give you 50% more towing capacity... when you drive a Camry that 50% can be pretty
darn handy :). I also took the liberty of looking up the legacy and that is a pretty darn
good looking car, very classy and grown up looking... much like having your own
internet :)

Glad you wrote some more questions... I would not have had anything to write about if
you had not :)

Ah yes, my conservative nature, in general I think that the government should be as small
as possible, while it is necessary to have government at the national level to supply
defense and things that are very large, expensive, and necessary, they should not try to
micro manage your life. On that note, I am whole opposed to government healthcare. I
am a strong supporter of the second amendment, I am not a gun nut but I do like my right
to keep and bear arms if I so choose. For a few other issues I think gay marriage is
wrong, abortion is wrong, and that welfare is something that should be handled at the
state level and should be done primarily through faith based organizations. That last one
may take a little bit of explaining. The Bible says that we are to do good deeds showing
love and compassion to the poor and in need, it also says that the poor will always be
among us... putting those two together I figure that the Lord allows there to be poor
people so that those he has blessed with much have an outlet for their generosity. Hence
why I think it is the obligation of the faith based organizations to administer to the poor
and needy. While it is tempting to go on I am starting to run a bit low on time for the
evening so I will let it go at that :)

At this point in my life I am both a morning person and a night owl, I tend to stay up to
late and in order to get everything done have to get up early in the morning. Given the
choice I would prefer to get up about 8:00 am and go to bed around 12-1:00 am... so I
guess that would make me a night owl :)

Wow, so this last question is not an easy one... but yet a good question (and not strange at
all)... don't be surprised if you get asked that one in return :) Prayer takes a lot of forms in
my life... there is always the "please Lord don't let that cop come after me" prayer,
followed by either the "Lord please let him give me just a warning" or the "thank you
Lord he did not see me prayer" :). Other than that I do pray at meals but I do not really
count that as prayer, yes it is talking to god and thinking him for the food, but it is not
really heart felt prayer. To me the best time to pray (and don't think I am nuts for this) is
walking around outside at night looking up at the starts and being surrounded by God's
creation and the majesty of the skies without the hub-bub of people. It is just so peaceful
and a time to sort out your thoughts and talk to God like he is a friend who you want to
tell about your day and what is going on in life. At these times I like to avoid "request"
type prayers, preferring to just talk to God. I do also pray before bed, but unfortunately I
tend to be tired and more often end up snoring before I get to Amen.

As far as praying with my wife I know that it will be very awkward for a while but I think
it is something that will strengthen a marriage phenomenally. Taking time out of the day
in either the morning or the evening to kneel down with your wife, hold hands and pray
adds a phenomenal depth to a relationship. I am not referring to the "be near me Lord
Jesus..." prayer, but a genuine confession of weakness, struggles, and temptations. I am
sure it will be hard to develop that kind of closeness with my wife, but I think that is very
important to a relationship and will add a level of depth and connection that will make the
relationship better, more glorifying to God, and more fulfilling... I really hope after
reading these paragraphs that you do not think I am nuts :)

Sooooo looking back this message turned out longer than I had planned... sorry ;). I
should prolly ask a few questions and call it a night. You mentioned that you like to help
your brother build furniture, what kind of stuff did/do you guys like to build? What are
your thoughts on hunting? Would you ever go hunting? Not to pry too much... but what
would your ideal family look like? What kinds of things do you want to do on the
weekends when you have a family of your own? And for one last one... and this may
sound familiar, but I'm curious...what does prayer look like in your life? Would you want
to pray with your husband after you are married?

Okay sorry for asking so many questions, if you do not want to answer them all feel free
to pick and choose :)

Sweet dreams Ashleigh,

Talk to you soon,
Rustin

Good morning Ashleigh :)

I will write more later, but I was thinking about you this morning and just wanted to say
that I hope you have a wonderful day.

Talk to you soon,

Rustin

Dang it... I forgot to ask you some new questions. You've mentioned a few times about
being conservative and willing to share your views. What are these values that you are so
eager to share with everyone? Are you a morning person or a night owl? And if this
doesn't sound too strange in writing, I'm curious...what does prayer look like in your life?
You wrote once that you wanted to pray with your wife, I'm just wondering how you see
that.

Ok, I'm officially going to sleep now. :) Talk to you soon.

Dear Rustin,

Goodness, if you keep writing like that I won't be able to get any work done - I thought
about your letter all day. That was your best message yet. You get points for being clever,
funny, and sweet (again). I didn't deduct anything for superficiality because I secretly
think that you are cuter than me :) But, you sure make a lot of assumptions. I won't go
into detail about them usually being right, because I'm sure you don't need any more
encouragement to use sarcasm as humor. So anyways, now I'm nervous writing this letter
because I feel like I have to compete with you :)

Honestly...dial up? Where do you live? 1995? Ok, I can't say anything here because I just
got my own internet a few weeks ago after going through my entire undergrad without a
computer. Last spring I splurged on a brand new MacPro laptop and printer, so I don't
know what my problem was in waiting for internet. But I have it now and have been
convincing everyone how grown up it makes me. My mom just nods and changes the
subject.

Your family seems to be taking advantage of your engineering skills, and your
willingness to help them out. I hope they feed you. Ok, hopefully not acorn squash, but
really...no one likes acorn squash. Its not very grown up at all but my favorite food is
peanut butter. I like it spread thick on sandwiches with a little blackberry jam - yum! I eat
it straight from the jar too. Its wonderful!

Alright, I'm confused. How does a Lutheran even want to become a Baptist? People only
become Baptist if they don't know what they are getting into. And then after they unravel
its mysteries they only stay because they are too afraid to leave - it's all the fire and
brimstone preaching I think.

Good story about your dad and the motorcycles. I liked the "spare vehicle" idea. I always
put several thousand extra miles on my spare vehicle :) And I confess, at this point, I'm
looking forward to a ride on that motorcycle :)

Divorce. This topic saddens me, not because I personalize it to my own situation, but
because I know destroying any relationship - spousal or not - impacts us in ways we were
not intended to experience - yet so many people are hindered in life by a hurt they
experienced in a relationship with someone they cared about. I think there are many
things that destroy trust and love, and sometimes those things seem more powerful than
us. A lot of times I think we give up too because we are weary and burdened by life. And
I agree that impaired communication impacts a relationship heavily. But I have to believe
that marriage is important to God and possible with his involvement, even if times aren't
always well. Its not very romantic by our world's standards, but I really don't think human
love is enough, both people must love Christ and yearn for his presence in their marriage
in order to have any hope. And I think there has to be honesty, a willingness to work
through conflict, and maybe a little ice cream after a fight :)

Confession. I've heard of Buddy Holly but I have a hard time matching songs with
singers, so like any good girl with her own internet I googled him - youtube has some
videos that were great. I definitely like his music! Is that a requirement of yours similar to
liking motorcycles :)? Ok, you don't have to answer that.

Why will you move out of Michigan? And when do you graduate? I am not opposed to
moving around the country if the circumstances seem right and the Lord is leading. Once
I have a family I'd like to be more stable though for their schooling, but who knows, one
of my best friends was home schooled and she turned out alright. I mean I like her. My
grandma moved around the country with my grandpa while he was in the army. If she did
it, I could. But who wants to leave Colorado? Have you ever been here? 300 days of
sunshine a year, 4 seasons, land lock protection from hurricanes, tsunamis, and pirates.
No earthquakes. No bugs. Plus, have you seen our mountains? In 10 years we will all
have to speak Spanish but still its a great place. You have a good "Hola" - you'll be fine :)

Perfect day. The last time I answered this question I was in high school and it got me into
big trouble. That story is for another time, but I'm glad for another chance at the question.
Well, the day would not consist of any errand running, or laundry, or returning office
emails. I would have pancakes for breakfast with bananas and syrup. And my mother
would sit across the table drinking her black coffee and telling me about her spring
garden plans. Then I'd go swimming and I wouldn't spend the time clearing my mind or
organizing the rest of the day. After that I'd take a long hot shower and just sit and let the
water run through my hair and down my skin. For lunch I'd meet my grandma for steak
(she loves steak). And I'd have a glass of wine and too many buttered rolls. I'd tell her
about you and your letters. And she would smile and tell me random stories about
growing up and her life with grandpa. I'd ask God to stop the sun like he did with Joshua
so I could let her talk for hours and not worry that I'd have to get going. I would want all
this to happen in the home I grew up in so that I could spend the afternoon building
furniture & blanket tents with my brother. Right before dinner I'd finish the last page in a
really good book, and then for dinner I'd eat cereal just because I could. And finally, I'd
go out dancing with my best dress on until I couldn't stand anymore. Yep, that would be a
great day.

I'll condense this last part because I need to get to bed. My favorite time of year is fall. I
think its because I love the anticipation of the holiday season and my birthday is in
December. Plus the trees out here are breathtaking. And to piggy back off that, my
favorite outdoor activity is hiking. Something about the exercise and the adventure. Do
you like hiking?

My name. Its kind of a sad story. My mother could not decide on a name. And a few
weeks before I was born she saw my name in a newspaper article about a young German
girl who had died in a plane crash. Something in that moment convinced her to name me
after that girl. Its a good name and a unique spelling. I'm grateful because there were 5
"Ashley"s in my 2nd grade class. Without the spelling I wouldn't have been noticed in
class or come to think of it, blamed for stealing the new dry erase markers. To this day I
deny I had anything to do with that.

Car. I come from a family of loyal Subaru owners. I just did a trade in for my 5th. Its a
silver legacy sedan. My family says its very classy. I like it because its a manual. I prefer
the manuals, gives you more control in snow, plus they are just more fun to drive :)

Well, with the time difference you are probably already sleeping. I hope you have a great
day tomorrow. Remember, its fresh with His mercies :)

Stay Sweet, :)
Ashleigh

Hola Chica,

I hope you had a wonderful weekend and Monday to boot... and if that makes me sweet
to say so well then I guess I will just have to be sweet :). I am not sure if I should express
my sympathy that you were sick or if I should express jealousy since you got a day off...
it is a bit of a pickle that I am in so I guess I should say that I am glad you were feeling
better on the weekend :). I do have to say that I am surprised, I some how imagined that
you had a super hard job... if all you have to do is solve world peace I will have to change
that assumption :).

This weekend was interesting to say the least... we have been working on projects outside
this year... a bit of a fiasco I must say. I was using a backhoe to dig around the house
(always a good idea), I was so careful of the sewer pipe and whatnot digging around it by
hand, then when I thought the coast was clear and just started digging I suddenly got a
bust of water and the hole started to fill with water... I was a bit bummer, I was hoping
for oil... but I hit the water line for the house instead :(. 24 hours later and a lot of
"debating" between my dad and myself we had the water line patched and were back in
business... I was a bit surprised that I got the electrical and water line to the well in one
scoop :|... all and all though it was a good weekend :)

Well, I hope you are up for another long message since there is a lot in here to respond
to... I am glad that you were attracted to my profile... whatever the reason :). I found your
faith the most attractive but then that your profile and your pictures both showed that you
have class... and well lets be honest... I am a guy so I get to be a little superficial... you
are also very cute, I definitely like your smile :)

At this point I have to apologize if you subjected yourself to a presentation of mine. I am

guessing that you listened to my 2008 presentation at the structural satiability research
council meeting, that was my first major public presentation, there were about 40 people
in the audience, half of whom had a Ph.D. so I was very nervous and talked too fast. I
have not done a bunch of presentation since then, but I think that I am a bit better, this
years conference in Phoenix I was much more relaxed... but still a bit nervous :)... at any
rate, I am sorry the presentation was boring but I hope you enjoyed it :)

You are killing me here, I have dial up internet, and I am trying to look at the new
pictures you posted and search your name... on dial up, I am prolly going to have to wait
till I get to work tomorrow, but I have to say you look very cute in the 1 inch thumbnail I
can see :)

Thank you for giving my hypothetical Lutheran question fair consideration, I have to be
honest about the Baptists and say that if it were not for the infant baptism issue I would
want to be Baptist since they are a bit more conservative than the Lutherans.. it really is a
tight rope walk on that one.

I have to admit that I am impressed with your writing, even if I am reading it from an
engineers perspective :), you take things that I mentioned in different parts of my email
and tie them together to make a more coherent thought than I did in the original email, it
is interesting, I am also enjoying your sense of humor :)

I don't think you realize the can of worms you opened with that question... how did I
become interested in motorcycles :). For a bit of a background when my dad was in his
20's he rode a lot, he and his college roommate went for a cross country trip and my dad
came home in an ambulance and spent the next 8 weeks in the hospital in and out of
surgery, in the end he has a plastic collarbone and shoulder. He however still owns the
bike and still rides it to this day. In light of that he had two bikes when I was younger, he
would take me for rides on them but told me that if I ever owned or rode a bike he would
basically disown me. Well, when I was 12 he let me ride his small bike around the
property, the bike was a 1975, it so happens that I found an identical one on ebay when I
was a freshman in college. I was able to talk my dad into letting me get it so when I
graduated from college I would have a spare vehicle if my car ever broke down... the next
summer I put about 4000 miles on the bike riding with my dad. That fall I found a 1971
bike that was identical to his bigger one (the one he got in the accident on) and since it
had sentimental value he thought I should get it so we could go on longer trips together.
That one never ran right (I do all my own work on them and I made sure it never ran
quite right). Since it had problems, in 2005 we caved in and bought a pair of brand new
matching cruisers (the ones in my profile pictures) and I have been riding at will ever
since :), a very expensive and devious plan but it worked :). The short answer however
would be that I have loved them ever since I knew what they were :) I have about 40,000
miles on my 05 cruiser... perhaps one day I can take you for a ride on it ;)

I am sorry to hear that your parents are also divorced, I am not sure if your case or mine
is better, my parents stuck it out until us kids left for college while yours split sooner.
You had the difficulty of having a dad who lived elsewhere and I had the difficulty of a
family that always fought... in the end the Lord sustains us though all things. I definitely
do not like divorce and do not understand what can take a marriage that started with two
people so in love that they wanted to spend the rest of their live together and end with
them not talking to each other. From what I have seen it is due in large part to a lack of
communication, what are your thoughts on the issue? (Sneaky way to get the question in
but it worked :) )

Hmmm, I recognized about 3 of those bands :). I have a bit of an affinity for country, but
most of the time at school I listen to rock... it is just so relaxing :), it is almost like I listen
to it as a mental out for myself at school, I find rock relaxing at school but in the car I like
country and at home I listen to Love Songs With Delilah... wide variety I know but it all
depends on the mood :) right now I am listening to a Buddy Holly CD, I have to ask, do
you like Buddy Holly?

Wow, that is quite the list of places you have visited, I have to admit that aside form
camping in Canada as a kid I have not been out of the country. All of my travels have
been in the US, in the last 2 years I have only traveled on a motorcycle. I have cut back
on traveling since my parents are realizing that I will prolly be moving out of Michigan
when I graduate and are making a big push on the house to get stuff done with which they
need my help before I leave. I am trying to help as much as I can, but the last year has
been a ton of work, and it looks like it will to continue for about another two months then
reconvene next summer. Out of curiosity are you willing to move around the country or
do you particularly want to stay in Colorado?

Blasphemy, how can a self respecting lady not like ice cream... but then again... that is all
the more for me :), in that case I guess I will not close the match :)... food I can not stand,
hands down acorn squash... I seriously think I would rather gouge my eyes out with an
un-sanitized dull wooden spork than eat acorn squash.

That however leads well into my turn to ask questions :), if you do not like ice
cream what is your favorite food? If you could have your perfect day what would
you do? Who would be there? Where would you be? What is your favorite time of
year (and to piggy back on that, what is your favorite outdoor activity)? And since
I have a bit of a curious nature, is there a story behind the spelling of your name?
For one last question, and not to sound like the stereotypical guy, but, what kind of
car do you drive? I will spill the beams and admit that I drive and absolutely love
my 4 cylinder manual transmission Camry :).

I hope you have a splendid evening and day tomorrow achieving world peace :)
Sweet dreams,
Rustin

Hello again,

You're sweet. I did have a nice Friday - Thanks. I was out sick on Thursday so it
definitely was a short week! I felt better Friday morning so I went to work, met with a
few easy clients, solved world peace, went for a run, you know normal Friday stuff :)
Your Friday sounded intense, I hope you got some rest :). One of my favorite things
about you is that you build things. Besides your faith its what attracted me to your profile.
My brother is an aerospace engineering major at CU. He wants to build rockets. He is so
busy that he hardly eats, so I take him out for Chinese & he tells me about the projects he
works on. I don't follow a lot of the technical language but engineering sounds amazing.
Say, have you looked yourself up online? I did look you up, & you may be surprised but I
heard your voice! One of your presentations on fire structures is posted & I listened to a
bit of it. Very convincing. You have a good voice and present well :) You can try to look
me up too, but you may not find anything because I have the same name as a famous
Australian actress. But give it a try. My last name is Brewer.

Long messages are good. You write well, especially for an engineer :) Plus you smile a
lot :) And I agree with your inferences - I love people and enjoy taking care of them. I've
been shown much mercy & grace so I want others to experience it. And you are right that
faith is a great comfort. There is comfort in knowing that we are not alone or forsaken.
There is comfort in knowing that life is not random, that the Lord is working things out
for our good and his glory. And there is hope in knowing that one day we will be with
Jesus in heaven. You definitely are blessed to have been raised in the church. I'm sure He
has some wonderful plans for your life. I've never heard of Synod Lutheran. I looked it
up too & didn't find anything in the doctrines that I disagree with so we will have to have
that baptism discussion. So in answer to your question - yes I would consider changing
my denomination - for argument sake - to Lutheran :)

About the motorcycle. I was just a passenger on the motorcycle. And I was careful not to
touch the muffler. And yes I can tell they are a big part of your life :) It makes you
unique. How did you become so interested in them?

Family. Your dad looks really happy in the pictures, & your stepmom is lovely. I'm glad
you are close with them. My parents are divorced too, though neither remarried. My
father has a Taiwanese girlfriend. I've met her a few times, she seems nice. I already
mentioned my brother & I also have a younger sister, she's the wild one in the family. We
left my father when I was 10. I guess things just didn't work out. My mom says that about
5 years into their marriage the pastor of their church died suddenly of brain cancer. She
said my father was never the same, and he never went back to church. She said it was like
he left for war and came home a different man. I don't understand things like that and I
agree that it is devastating to separate a family that way. I think I was angry with him for
a long time. I've forgiven my father now & I pray hard for our relationship to grow, but I
remain guarded to him. I'm close with my mom and we do the family gatherings too a
couple times a year. Every Thanksgiving we rent out an old train station & have an
amazing potluck. I make pecan pie, & my grandma & her sisters fight over the turkey
heart. Its silly really. My uncle always has to remind me how I'm related to everyone.
After the meal the men watch football and the women play card games with M&Ms for
bets. Its one of my favorite times of year :) We can talk more about family in the future if
you like.

Music. I'm not loyal to a certain genre, I just know what I like when I hear it. Helpful, I
know. I listen to a lot of Jennifer Knapp, Shane & Shane, and Need to Breathe. And I
love Hillsong worship. And I like the sound of Eric Hutchinson, Sugarland, Jason Mraz,
and Jack Johnson. What music do you like?

Have I traveled? Umm....Yes. My mom grew up in a tiny Texas town dreaming of seeing
things that she read about in books, so she took us all over America growing up. After
high school I lived in Paris working as a nanny, and then backpacked through New
Zealand. In college I did mission work in Spain, studied abroad in China & France, and
vacationed in Costa Rica and Panama. I will be in England in two weeks helping a friend
move :) You've mentioned taking trips with your dad. Where do you like to go?

Now, please don't close me but I don't like ice cream....I know I'm sorry. I like plenty of
other things - chocolate cake, molasses cookies, even popsicles, but not ice cream. Please
sympathize with me on this. What is a food that you just can't stand?

Now its my turn to wish you a wonderful evening!

Blessings for Sunday,
Ashleigh

p.s. I posted some new photos too.

Hola Ashleigh,

I hope that you had an absolutely wonderful Friday... especially since it was a short
week :). My day got off to a bit of an interesting start, I am helping my parents build their
house and we had some concrete work to do, since the concrete plant is not running on
Saturdays this summer since the demand is so low we decided to lay 7 yards of concrete
this morning before I came into school... so yeah... three hours of laying concrete then
driving to school and working for a day... I am definitely going to sleep well tonight :)

No worries, I only got the message once :)

I am glad that you liked the questions, I guess I figure that it is better to ask questions that
might be harder to answer than to ask easy questions and not get an accurate picture of a
person. I do have to say though that based on our communications thus far I am definitely
liking the picture that is being painted. On that note, if you would like to see what the
internet has to say about me my last name is Fike... in case you were curious :).

I do have to say these are some pretty darn good answer to the question :) As far as
musical fitness it sounds like you are a few steps ahead of me, I would have had to put
that in the "three thinks you tried and found that you stink at" category on eHarmony. I
"played" the clarinet for three years in middle school and saw the writing on the wall
when I was placed in the second year band my third year of playing... I like to see my
role in the whole music thing as enjoying what other people play :)
I am not sure if it makes sense, but it always gives me that warm fuzzy feeling to hear
someone say that they did not grow up in the church but yet are attending one now. I look
at church and faith as a phenomenal comfort in life, just the peace that it gives is awe
inspiring... it is like not matter what happens at the end of the day you can come to the
Lord and know that you are loved. I have been blessed to have been in the church my
entire life, for a while in my teen years I kind of rebelled against it, but the Lord has seen
fit to bring me back with a stronger renewed faith. Officially I am Missouri Synod
Lutheran but I am currently attending a Wisconsin synod Lutheran church since there is
not a good Missouri Synod church in our area. As far as doctoral issues, I am by no
means an expert, but it is my understanding that the difference between Baptists and
Lutherans is that Lutherans practice Infant Baptism while the Baptist only baptize after a
person of age has made a confession of faith... an interesting issue if you ever want to
discuss it :)

I can not say that I have seen "Swing Time", I have always been partial to the older
movies mainly because of the Chivalry and honor that people portray, you can always
count on the main character being an ethical person who does what is right, even if it is
not to their advantage, something that is oddly lacking from more modern movies. I
would say though that my favorite movie is Cyrano with Jose Ferrar, it was actually
written as a play but the movie rendition of it is excellent.

So you say your father is a Ballroom dance teacher... I am guessing that means that you
are pretty good at dancing yourself. I have to confess that in the dance department I am
doubly blessed... I have two left feet :). I tried dancing at one point and manage to eap out
the white man shuffle for a while, but I have been working on the sprinkler :)

When you say you have ridden a motorcycle do you mean that you drove it or that you
were a passenger? On the cross county trips you do run into a lot of interesting people,
one time we were coming back from Iowa and it just started pouring, we stopped at the
first bridge we could find and when we got under there we realized that the bike gang in
our are the Hell's Angles were under there too. It was a bit tense for the first few minute
but after a while we were all standing around in one big group chatting... despite the
name they are some fairly nice people... but I digress. It is a bit of a relief that you not
only would be willing to ride a bike but that you like them... you prolly gathered from my
profile that they are kind of a big part of my life :)

That is an intriguing answer to what you like most about yourself, I am going to go out
on a limb here and guess that you are a very caring person and always willing to help if a
friend is in need... but I will let my little inferences go at that :)

Hmmm, it looks like I took a few of these questions out of order :)

My family... well since some of the pictures are my dads wedding I am either illegitimate
by 25 years or my dad is remarried, totally option B. I have always been very close to my
dad. For the past 4 years we have gone on cross country bike trips and I love every
second of it. We think so much alike that it is almost scary at times, but overall we get
along very well. I also adore my step mom, she is one of the most wonderful people I
have ever meet, she is caring almost to a fault. She and my dad are in their second year of
marriage. I am also close to my extended family, we have get togethers prolly 4-5 times a
year with the entire family (relatively small about 25 people), since they all live within
about 15 miles of each other in Iowa it is pretty easy for us all to get together when my
immediate family is out that way. The obvious part that I left out here is my birth mom
and any siblings that I have, for the record I have a sister and a younger brother who is
adopted. The unfortunate part of parents going thorough a divorce is that it inevitably
separates the kids, such was my case, for now lets just say that I am not closed to my
mom or either of my siblings... if you want to know more some time in the future just
ask, but for now I will just leave it here.

So the little counter on the bottom of the box is telling me that I am almost out of room,
assuming you are still awake I will ask a few questions and call it a night :). What kind of
music do you like to listen to? How would you describe your relationship with your
family? Would you ever consider changing church denominations? (for the sake of
argument lets say to Lutheran :) ). How do you feel about traveling (and have you
traveled much)?... and for the most pressing question: what is your favorite flavor of ice
cream?

Have a wonderful evening,

Hope to hear from you soon,
Rustin

P.S. sorry for writing such a long message, I can get a bit carried away :)

Hello there Rustin, I'm glad to hear from you again :). I'm sorry if you got this twice, the
first time didn't seem to work.
You asked some very good questions....

The piano. For the picture, the piano happened to be the nearest thing to sit on. And yes,
I do play, but poorly which is why I didn't mention it in my profile. There wasn’t a
section for “List three things you’re trying to be better at.” :) It's something new, so I'm
still learning. I have a full key electric piano but the middle ‘A’ key is broken and
randomly sounds really loud when I hit it too hard. On the weekends, sometimes I sneak
into the music hall at the university near my house, and play on the student pianos. The
real ones always sound better. I play pieces from watered down Devorjak and random
Venetian waltzes. I also sing in the shower, and have a few favorite bands but that’s the
extend of my musical finesse.

My faith. I described it as a gift because that's the way I experience it. It has to be a gift
because I couldn't possibly have done anything to awaken it. I’m a member of a Baptist
church. It's been my home for several years. I didn’t grow up in church so I’m not
familiar with all the doctrinal differences between the denominations, but this church has
been good to me and my pastor has taught me wonderful things about the Lord.

B/W movie. I recently saw "Swing Time" with Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. It was
the first of their films I've seen and it instantly became my favorite. My father is a
ballroom dance teacher, so it was amazing to watch the choreography and know the
amount of work that went into it. They move like they're one person. I must confess
though that part of the draw for me to those films is the time period. I love the dresses,
and curly hair the women wore, and the men in their suits and hats. It was such an elegant
time.

Motorcycles. Forgive me but I don’t know much about them. I have a cousin who
traveled across the country on one. Several weeks ago he was telling me stories about
escaping storms under overpasses and meeting people all over America, and for a few
days I told people I was going to buy a motorcycle and do the exact same thing. I’ve
ridden only one time, and loved it. I’d like to try it again :)

My favorite thing about myself is kind of hard to describe. Do you know that feeling you
get when you see something for what it really is? You listen to a friend and suddenly
understand them perfectly. Or you hear a piece of music that stops all your thoughts and
simply lets you be still for a moment. Or a prayer is answered that seemed impossible. Its
a simple thing, but I get that feeling often, and it has always seemed special to me. Its one
of the things I would never change about myself.

After all that are you up for some questions? I am very curious about you. Your pictures
look like you have a close family. How would you describe your relationships with them?
Can you tell me a bit about your church? And one more...what is your favorite b/w
movie?

Talk to you soon,

Ashleigh

p.s. I see no risk of you boring me :)

Hi Ashleigh,

It seems that we made it through the “guided communication” process :). You are 100%
right that the politics question was/is important to me, I always hesitate to ask since for
many people that can be a bit of a touchy subject, I appreciate your thorough answer. I
am fairly conservative and have found that to be a bit of a sticking point with some
people so I like to get that out in the open fairly early :)

Well, I guess I should prolly ask a few questions and call it good for today so I do not
risk boring you on the first email :). You have a pretty extensive list of things that you
like to do in your free time, but I am a bit curious, you have a piano in one of your
pictures but yet mention nothing about music in your profile, do you also play piano? I
found it interesting that you describe your faith as a “gift from the Lord”, do you belong
to a particular denomination? What is your favorite b/w movie (and yes I agree you can
not beat a good classic). What is your opinion on motorcycles? Would you ever ride one?
Okay one last question and I will stop with the interrogation :), what is your favorite
thing about yourself?

I hope you have a wonderful evening,

Rustin