CHAPTER FOUR

'You! What are you doing here! You should be in London!'

'Oh, should I?' Dark, winged eyebrows shot up in apparent surprise at
this statement, but surprised he most certainly was not. She would have
thought he was in London, at least if she had wandered into the town
again, and she undoubtedly would have had to, just as she would
undoubtedly have had to have seen someone who would have started
chatting to her, trying to find out what was going on between him and
her. And it wouldn't have taken her long to discover that, as far as
everyone was concerned, he had done his usual vanishing trick, because
that was what his mother had told her friends, who would have told
everyone else.
He had only found out by accident, having volunteered to drive his
mother in to town to meet her cronies for their weekly game of bridge.
'Oh, no need,' his mother had responded with uncustomary vagueness.' I
may have mentioned that you were heading back to the City, and why
see them again just yet if you do not have to? Hm? You know the
questions you will be asked! They can be so forthright sometimes.'
'You may have mentioned it, cara Mama?'
'It is possible, s. I do not know. I cannot quite remember. Such a small
detail!'
But actually having her believe that he was not around, that he wouldn't
threaten her by being at the dance, suited him perfectly. James Dalgleish
was not a man who hid behind neatly contrived preconceptions. She
challenged him and he wanted her.
Before he had laid eyes on her, his one thought had been the swift
acquisition of the Rectory, to which end he had been prepared to do
anything. Pay over the odds, find the woman somewhere else to live even
if it meant building a house for her. He had enough money to compensate
her in any way she chose, financially. Then he met her and for a while he
saw himself as simply a shrewd businessman who was prepared to get to
know his quarry, find out exactly whether her plans to live at the Rectory
were long-term, discover the weakness that would provide him with what
he wanted.
Buthehadn'tkickedoffwithhisplantodenigratethehouse,hadhe?Andnowhea
cknowledgedthathejustwantedher.
Wantedtotakehertohisbedandmakelovetoher,watchherclosed,defensivefac
eopenupbeforehiseyeslikeaflowerblooming
undertheraysofthesun.Hewantedtohearhermoanaloudwithdesire,desirefor
him,hewantedtowatchherwritheonhisbedand
loseallherinhibitions.AllthoughtsofbuyingtheRectoryhadtemporarilytaken
abackseattourgesthatwerestrongerandfar,far
moreirresistible.
Sotheaccusationburninginhereyesnowwashardlyashocktohissystem.
'IwasundertheimpressionthatyouhadurgentworktoattendtoinLondon!'
Jamesshruggedandgaveherahelplesslyapologeticgrimacethatdidnothingto
erasethedismayshefeltatseeinghim
again.Andeverypulseinherbodywasracing.Shelookedaroundalittledesperat
elyforSimonandcalledhim,turningawaysothat
shedidn'thavetolookatthemanlounginginfrontofher.
Hewasdressedinpalecreamchinosthataccentuatedthelithenarrownessofhis
hipsandthelengthofhislegs,andadark
greyshort-
sleevedshirt.Bothreekedofimmaculateandverypriceytailoringandneitherdi
dmuchtolessenthepredatorialimpactof
hisdarklyhandsomefaceandwhipcord-leanbody.
Nowshefelthugelyself-consciousinherget-
up.Shehaddressedtomakeapositivestatementwhensheconfrontedthe
peoplewhowereherneighbours,atleastforthemoment.Ifyou'rewhisperingab
outmebehindmyback,shewantedtoimply,then
youdon'tfrightenme.
Instead,withthoserivetingdarkblueeyesbroodinglylookingather,allshecoul
dfeelwasthestrainingofthefinematerial
ofherdressagainstherbreastsandtheoverexposureofherlegs,whichweren'tev
enprotectedwithtightsbecausethenightwasso
balmyandshehadpredictedthatitwouldbepositivelyhotinthevillagehall.
ShebreathedasighofreliefwhensheheardSimon'slittlefeetpatteringtowardst
hekitchen.
'Didyourmothersendyoutofetchme?'Saraaskedinastiltedvoice,clutchingatt
helaststrawthathemightnotactually
begoingtothewretcheddance.Shebentdowntoadjustherson'spyjamatopandt
henranherfingersthroughhisfinehair.'Because
therewasnoneed.I'mprettysureIcouldfindyourhouseifit'snextdoortomine.I
nfact,'shecontinued,standingupandclutching
Simon'shandinhers,'itmightbeagoodideaformetofollowyouinmycar.Iwantt
ohavemyowntransport.'Inthefaceofhis
silence,whichwasaccompaniedbyapatienttiltofhishead,asifhewaslistening
carefullytowhatshewassayingbutnotreally
payingagreatdealofnotice,Sarafeltherselfchatteringonwitlessly.Shegavean
ervouslaugh.'Iwouldn'twanttofindthatIhadto
walkhomeifIwashavingarottentime!Allthisisolationstretchingintoinfinity!
Iwouldgethopelesslylost!'Hervoicefalteredinto
silenceandthesilencecontinuedforafewawkwardsecondslonger.
'Iwouldn'tdreamofallowingyoutogoonyourown,'Jamesdrawled,turningtow
ardshiscarandexpectinghertofollow
him.
'Don'tberidiculous!'Shehesitatedinfrontofthedoor,whichhewasholdingope
nforher.'I'mperfectlycapableofgetting
myselftothetownandfindingwhereIshouldbegoing!'
'Nonsense.'Hesmiledimplacablyand,whileshefeltinclinedtostandhergroun
dandarguethemattertillthecowscame
home,Simonremovedthedecisionfromherhandsbyopeningthebackcardoor
andclamberingintotheseat.
ThesmileJamesgavehermadeherscowl.
'Doyoualwaysgetyourownway?'shesnapped,slidingpasthimintothepasseng
erseatandpressingherlegstogether.
'Always,'heassuredher,halfturningtolookather.'Youlookstunning,bythewa
y.'Hismouthcurvedintoasmilethat
sentalittlethrillracingdownherspine.'Butdon'tfeelobligedtothankmeforthec
ompliment.'
'Iwon't,'Sarareturned,instantlyregrettingherreplybecauseitwasunnecessary
.'Butthankyouanyway,'sheadded,
turningtostarestraightahead.
'Ibroughtmyteddy,'Simonpipedupfrombehind.'WillMrsMrsBabysitterm
ind?'
'Ithinkshewouldlovetoseeyourteddy.'JamesstartedtheengineandallowedSa
ratostarefrozenlyaheadatthescenery
whilehechattedwithherson.Allthatice,buthehadtastedthoselips,hadfeltasur
geofheatcomefromherstraightintohimandhe
knewthatundertheicelayahotpooloffirejustwaitingforhimtoignite.
Astheyturnedleftandbeganthedriveuptothemanor,Saracouldn'tholdontoher
pointedsilenceanylonger.Hermouth
droppedopenasshetookinthelength,breadthandwidthoftherollingestate.
'Thisisn'tallyours,isit?'shegasped,turningtostareathisavertedprofile.
'Allofit,'heconfirmed,alittlenettledbythefactthathispropertyimpressedher,e
venifhedidn't.'Overthere,totheright,
there'sarosegardenandevenaminiaturemaze.'
Sarastaredatthegraciousmanorrisingupwitheffortlessgrace,dominatingthe
courtyardwhichsprawledarounda
magnificentcircularflowerbedthatwasburstingwithcolour.AsilverRolls-
Roycewasparkedneatlyinfrontofthehouse.
'Isitacastle?'Simonbreathed,awestruck,standingupsothathewaspeeringbet
weenthemwithhisteddyclutchedinhis
arms.
'Notquite,'Jamessaid,laughing.'Notuncomfortableenough.'
'Andyourmotherliveshereonherown?'Saraasked.Thepalegoldfrontagesee
medtostretchonforever,risinginplaces
toturretsthatbelongedtosomethingfromafairytale.
'Shehasstaff,naturally.'
'Oh,naturally,'Sarasaid,missingtheamusedlookhethrewather.'Itmustbeawf
ullylonelyforher.'Theygotoutofthe
carandSarastaredupwardsattheimposingfaade.'Rattlingaroundhereonhero
wn,eveniftherearestaff.'
'Icomeupandseeheratleastonceamonth,'Jamesgrated,notcaringforthedescri
ptionofhismotherrattlingaroundin
thehouseandcaringevenlessfortheassumptionthatshemustbelonely.
'Andthentherearetwoofyourattlingaround.'Simontuggedatherhandandshel
etherselfbepulledtowardstheheavy
oakdoor.'Didn'tyoueverthinkofselling?Maybebuyingsomethingsmallerfor
yourmother?Iwould,ifitwereme.'
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CATHYWILLIAMS
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Inthatsplitinstantheknewhowshewouldreactifheadmittedthathehadindeedt
houghtofbuyingsomewheresmaller
andthattheplacehehadinmindwasonlyastone'sthrowaway,wasinfacttheRec
torywhichshehadonlyjustoccupied.
Shewaswaryenoughofhimalready.Infact,shepositivelybristledwithuneasys
uspicionwheneverhewaswithinstriking
distanceofher.Hearingthathewantedherhousewasnotexactlygoingtofillher
withtrustingwarmth,wasit?Lustorcold-headed
practicality?hewondered.
Hiseyesslidacrosstothelongcolumnofherneckasshegazedupwards,paleand
beckoninginthemellowlightofthe
eveningsun.
Cold-
headedpracticality,hethought,wouldbedealtwithlater.Itwouldn'tbeaproble
m.Butitwasnotinhisnatureto
issueanoutrightlieandsohecleverlyevadedthequestion.
'Thisisourheritage,'hetoldhertruthfullyenough.'AndIwouldneversellit.Itbel
ongstotheDalgleishfamilyasit
alwayswill.'Noliethere.Hisintentionsweren'ttosellthefamilyhome,merelyc
onvertitintosomethingelse,somethingthatwould
dojusticetoitsgrandeur.'Now,let'sgoinside.'Helightlyplacedhishandonherel
bowandsoengrossedwassheinhersurroundings
thatshebarelynoticed.
'CanIseethetrainsassoonaswegetinside?'Simonaskedhopefully.
'Ihopehe'llbeOKhe'sprettymuchbetternow
buthehasbeensoillwiththatchestinfection'Saralookedworriedly
atJames.
'Ihavemymobilephone.Youcanbecontactedandbebackherewithinhalfanho
ur.Surelythisiswhathappenedwhen
youwentoutinLondon?'
'Itwasdifferentthere,'Sarasaidquickly.'Lizzieknewhimfrombirth,knewwhat
todoifhegotsick.'Shehadhadto,Sara
thoughtregretfully.Workinglonghourshadnecessitatedthatandlonghoursw
erewhatshehadhadtodotopayforthemortgage
becausePhillip'sideaofmaintenancehadonlyeverbeentheveryoccasionalfla
mboyantpresentforhisson.Andinthepasttwo
years,noteventhat.
AsfarasPhilliphadbeenconcerned,shehadchosentohavethebabyandsosheco
ulddamnwelltakecareofhim
financiallyherself.Hewasover-
committedasitwaswithhisapartmentinLondonandahouseinPortugal.When
hehadhadthe
nervetoimplythatshemighthavegotherselfpregnantasapassporttoawedding
ring,Sarahadceasedtotalkaboutmaintenanceand
doneeverythingwithinherpowertomakesurethatshetookcareofherselfandhe
rsontothebestofherability.
'Lizzie?'
'Hisnanny.'
'Youhadananny?'
'Ihadtowork.Therearesuchthingsasamortgage,bills,food,clothes.Littlethin
gsthatusuallyhavepricetagsattachedto
them.'Sheknewthatshewasbeingridiculouslydefensiveasallheroldguiltrose
tothesurfaceandnotforthefirsttime.Guiltat
havinggotpregnantinthefirstplace,guiltathavingtowork,guiltatthehoursshe
workedbecausebeingatopcommoditiestrader
hadneverbeenanine-to-
fivejob.Somuchguiltthatshecoulddrownunderitifsheletherself.
ShewasrelievedwhentheywereinsidethehouseandMariawaswiththem,cluc
kingoverSimon,warmlyaskingSara
questionsaboutwhatshethoughtoftheirtownandtartlytellinghersonthathisch
oiceofcoloursdidnothingforhim,thatheshould
havewornsomethingalittlelesssevere,consideringtheywouldbegoingtoacas
uallittlebarbecue,somenicelittlecheckedshirtthat
didn'tmakehimlookasifhewastakingafewhours'breakfromwork.
'Idon'thaveanycheckedshirts.'
Saraslidasidelongglanceathimandhermouthtwitchedatthecorneredexpressi
ononhisface.
'Ilookfine,'hemuttered,lookingpointedlyathiswatch.
'Anddoyouagree?'
Sarafoundtwopairsofeyesfocusedonher,onedark,theothernavyblueandalot
moredisconcerting.Shechosetomeet
thedarkpair.
'Helooksallright,'sheconceded.
'Allright?'Hecouldn'thelpit.Hedidnotconsiderhimselfbyanymeansvain,but
hewasusedtobeingseenassomewhat
morethanallright.Allrightwasapedestriandescriptiontobeappliedtoapedest
rianmanandhestruggledtocontainaludicrous
feelingofpiqueinthefaceofthosegreeneyeswhichwerenowdoingamoredetai
ledinventoryofhim.
'Theshirtisalittleonthesombreside,colour-
wise,'Saraelaborated,unabletoresisthavingago,evenifitwasavery
smallone.Itwasjustsosatisfyingtodentthatmassiveegoofhis.'Notverysumm
ery,ifyouknowwhatImean,butIguessnotbad.'
'Well,'hesmiledslumberously,hisblueeyesrovingoverherinamimicryofhero
wnphysicalappraisalofhimexcept
takingfar,farlonger,lingeringoverthepertswellofherbreasts,theslenderness
ofherwaistandthelengthofhernakedlegs,'thenI
shouldbethankfulthatyouwillrelievethedullnessofmyclothing,shouldn'tI?'
Hedidanotherleisurelyappraisalofher,thistime
startingwithherfeetandworkingupwardsuntilhewaslookingatherflushedfac
ewithlazyamusement.
'Nowoffyougo,children.'Mariapositivelyhustledthemtothefrontdoor.'Simo
nandIwanttoplaywithacertainsetof
trainsbeforehegetstoosleepy!'
'Iwon'tbelongandI'lltakehimhomeassoonaswegetback.'
'Hewillbesleeping!'
'Hewon'twakeup.Hesleepslikealog.'
'Hecansleepthenighthere,'Mariasaid,frowning.'Therearemorethanenoughb
edroomstoaccommodateonesmallboy.'
Shesmiled.'Andyouaswell,ifyoudon'twanttospendthenightawayfromhim.
Now,yourunalongthebothofyou.'
SarahovereduncertainlythenbenttogiveSimonahug.Whenshestooped,herdr
essrodeevenhigherupherthighs.The
statementoutfitwasprovingtobealiability.
'There'snoneedtoworryabouthim,'Jamessoothedassoonastheywereinthecar
withthemanorhousediminishing
behindthem.'Mymamaloveschildren,likeallItalians.Lefttoher,Iwouldhavea
dozenchildrensothatshecouldspendhertime
bustlingaroundthem.'
Saraslidaglanceathimandcouldn'timaginealesslikelycandidateforadozench
ildren.
'Thenwhydon'tyouobligeher?'
'Iwillwhenthetimeisright.'
'Andifithasn'tbeenrightsofar,thenhaven'tyouaskedyourselfwhetheriteverw
ill?Maybethere'sapatternthere.Never
therighttimeintherightplacefortherightwoman.'
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HARLEQUINPRESENTS2479
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'Therightwomanhminterestingconcept
YoumeanIshouldstopdatingblondebimbosandlookforanotherkindof
womantowarmmybed?'Hisattempttolightentheconversationwentdownlike
aleadballoon.
'Oh,no,'Sarasaidcoolly,'youjustneedtofindtherightblondebimbo.She'soutth
eresomewhere!'Shecouldn'thelpit.
Shegaveabitter,sarcasticlaughandfeltthestingoftearspressagainsthereyelid
s.
'Tellmeaboutyourjob.'Theroadstraightaheadledalmostdirectlytothevillage
hall.Jamestookthefirstleftsothathe
couldgettherebythemostcircuitousroute.'WhatdidyoudoinLondon?'
'IIwasacommoditiestrader.'Saracouldalmosthearthesilenceofsurpriseddi
sapprovalricochetingaroundthecar.
'Andbeforeyoutellmethatthatwasnokindofjobforawoman,Imightaswelllety
ouknowthatIwasverygoodatit.Morethan
that,itpaidverywell,whichhappenstobeextremelyhandywhenyou'rebringin
gupachild.'
'Icanseewhyyouneededananny,'wasallhesaid.'Commoditytradingisanexha
ustingjob.Idon'tsupposeyougotto
seeyoursonasmuchasyouwouldhaveliked.'
Thegentlesympathyinhisvoicecaughtherunawaresandshefoundherselfflou
nderingbetweenresentmentathis
observationsandanoverpoweringurgetopouroutherfeelings.Shehadbecome
soaccustomedtocarryingtheweightofsingle
motherhoodonhershoulders,topushingonhowevertiredordepressedorjustpl
ainfedupshemightbe,thatconfidinginother
peoplewasatalentshehadlostalongtimeago.Evenhergirlfriendshadnotbeenp
rivytoherinnermostthoughts.She'dmetthem
whenevertheycouldarrangeto,whichwasinfrequentlybecausemostofthemw
orkedinthesamehigh-octanefieldasshehad,and
theychattedaboutbonuses,holidays,frustrationsatworkbutseldomabouthow
theyreallyfelt.Theywereallyoung,inenviably
well-
paidjobs,theyhadnotimetobedepressed.Theylaughed,ateatexpensiverestau
rantsandveeredawayfromanythingthatmight
implythattheirlifestyleswerenotallthattheywerecrackeduptobe.
'IsupposeyouthinkthatIwasanirresponsiblemother,bringingachildintothew
orldandthennotevenspendingany
qualitytimewithhim,butIhadnochoice.TradingwastheonlythingIwasgoodat
.Ididn'tgotouniversity,Iwasahopeless
secretary.Iwouldhavebeenfiredsoonerorlaterifmybossdidn'thappentonotic
ethatIhadanabilitytopredictmarkettrends.And
tradingisagameyoucan'tslowdownwithoutgettingleftbehind.'Shecouldhear
thepitchofhervoicerisingindefensivenessand
tookafewdeep,steadyingbreaths.'Arewenearlythere?'
'Nearly.'
Shewaitedforhim
tocontinuetryingtodraginformationoutofherandwashalfhopingthathewoul
dbecauseinthe
darknessofthecaritfeltgoodtotalk,likebeinginaconfessional,buthedidn't.He
justpointedoutoneortwolandmarkstoherand
thenprosaicallybegantotalkaboutplacesshecouldvisit,thingsSimonmightli
ketoseewhentheygotachance.
Whywasn'thetalkingabouther?shewonderedfeverishly.Foraminutetheresh
ehadactuallythoughtthathewas
genuinelyinterested,genuinelysympathetictowhatshehadgonethroughforth
epastfiveyears,andtherewasadam insideher
waitingtoburst.Butsuddenlyhehadstoppedaskingquestions,lostallinterest.
Assoonashehadheardwhatshehaddoneforaliving,Sarathoughtslowly.Sheh
adbeensorighttobracketJames
DalgleishandPhillipinthesamecategory.Neitherofthemhadreallylikedawo
manwhopossessedanintellectthatcouldthreaten
them.Philliphadsleptwithherbecauseshehadbeenanoveltyforhimandbecau
sehehadlikedthewayshelooked,butwherewas
henow?GettingmarriedandmovingtoSydney.Gettingmarriedtoawomanwh
owasblonde,helplessandhadneverdoneaday's
hardworkinherlife.Gettingmarriedtoawomanwhowassevenmonthspregna
nt.Sheherselfhadnotseenherexfornearlynine
monthsandherfriendshadbeenalltoowillingtoexplainwhy.Shesuspectedeve
nhemighthavefeltsometwingeoffeelingforher
andthesonhehadneverreallyacknowledged.Induecourse,aletterwouldarrive
andtherewouldbeonelineofregretfortheway
thingsturnedoutbutrathermorethanonesomehowlayingtheblameforeveryth
ingatherdoor,andagooddealmoredevotedtohow
hehadfinallyfoundwhathehadbeenlookingforallhislife.Theletterwouldarri
vetoaflatoccupiedbytenantsandshesincerely
hopedthattheywoulddropitinthenearestbin.ShedetestedPhillip,butrejection
stillhurtandwhathurtevenmorewasknowingthat
hersonhadbeenrejectedaswell.
Bythetimetheyreachedthevillagehall,hermoodhadsunktorock-
bottom.Shecouldbarelylookatthemanwalkingin
withher,andwhenhebrushedagainstherarmastheyenteredshevisiblyflinche
d.
Thankfullytherewasnoneedtostaygluedtohisside.Fionahadturnedupandwa
swavingatherfromacrosstheroom,
andtheseaofhostilityandsuspicionshethoughtshewouldfindwasabsent.Ever
yonewastoobusyhavingagoodtime.Themusic
wasloudandoperatedbyanenthusiasticyouthwithshoulder-
lengthhairandtherewasalongbuffettableextendingacrossoneside
ofthehall,onwhichsheassumedfoodwouldbelaidoutinduecourse.
ItwasasfarremovedfromafashionableLondonnightclubasitwaspossibletoge
t.
'I'llgetyouadrink,'Jamessaidintoherear.'Stayhere.'Hemovedawayintothecr
owd,stoppingeverytwofeettohavea
fewwordswithsomeone,andSaraimmediatelyheadedtowardsFiona.
Stayhere?Didheimaginethathecouldissueimperativesandshewouldmindles
slyobey?Outofthecornerofhereye,
shecouldseehimstilltryingtogettothebar,wherethreemiddle-
agedgentlemenweretryingtokeepupwiththecrowdofpeople
puttingintheirorders,andshesmirkedwithsatisfactionatthethoughtofhimret
urningtothatspotbythedoortofindthatshehad
disappearedintothecrowd.Ofcourse,itwouldn'tbelongbeforehezeroedinonh
er,butbythenshewouldhaveprovedherpoint.
IfthishadbeenLondon,shethoughtwithanotherofthosepangsofregret,shecou
ldwellandtrulyhavelostherself.The
crowdsandthedarknessofanightclubwouldhaveeasilyswallowedherup.Not
sohere.Theyhaddimmedthelightsbutdarkit
certainlywasnotandthecrowdscouldn'thideaflyformorethantwentyminutes.
Andifshehadbeenwithherfriendsbutshewouldn'thavebeenwithherfriend
satanightclub.Theywouldhavebeenat
asmartwinebaroranexpensiverestaurant,swappinganecdotesaboutwhowas
doingwhatatwork,andatthebackofhermindguilt
wouldhavebeennaggingawaythatshehadleftSimonatnightwhenshehadbeen
outallday.Atleasthereshedidn'tfeelguilty
aboutleavinghim
withMariaforacoupleofhours.Theyhadhadagooddaytogether,doingsomew
eeding,bakingsomebread,
takingtimeouttojustsitinthegardenwhereshehadsleepilywatchedhimplaywi
thhisLegoonarugwhileshereadamagazine.
Little,simplethingsthatherfriendswouldneverhaveunderstoodbecausethey
belongedtoaferventlychild-freecultureandtalkof
childrenboredthem.
FionaandherthreefriendsallhadchildrenanditwasweirdtodiscussSimonope
nlywithoutseeingonlypoliteintereston
theirfaces.Itwaseveninterestingtodiscussschoolingintheareawhensheknew
fullwellthatthechancesoftheirstayingputwas
onlyfifty-fifty,ifthat.
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CATHYWILLIAMS
HARLEQUINPRESENTS2479
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Shefelthisapproachbeforeshesawhim.Eveninacrowdedroom,withdiscomu
sicrattlingoutinthebackground,she
stillfelthisapproach.Itmadethehairsonthebackofherneckstandonendandshe
steeledherselfforhisinevitableremarkabout
walkingoffwhenhehadpointedlytoldhertostayput.
Shewasaggrievedtofindthathewasglaringlyindifferenttowhethershehadwal
kedoff,stayedputorevenheadedback
inthedirectionofhome.
Hehandedheraglassofwine,whichshedrankwithrecordspeed,andthenignore
dherwhilehechattedamicablywithher
companions.Fionatriedtoincludeherintheconversationwhileherbrighteyes
dartedbetweenthetwoofthem,takingintheirbody
language.Buttheirhistorieswentbackalongway.Mutualfriendsweremention
ed,incidentsreferredto,andafterawhileSara
excusedherselftogetsomemorewine.Twoglassesandshewasfeelingmuchbe
tter.
'Notrunningawayfrommebyanychance?'Hisvelvetyvoicewashedoverheran
dsheturnedtohimwitharadiantsmile.
'Don'tlooknow
butyourego'sshowing,'Sarasaidsmugly,happilyacceptingherthirdglassofwi
ne.A pleasant
contentmentwashedoverher.'Notsurprising,though,consideringthatallthela
ssiesareflutteringtheireyelashesatyou.'
'Soyou'vebeenwatchingme,haveyou?'Hisgazesweptoverherwithlazyspecu
lation.Itgavehimakickofsatisfaction
tothinkthatshehadbeenfollowinghisprogressthroughtheroom,lookingateve
rywomanhehadstoppedtotalkto.Hergreeneyes
wereglitteringupathim,amazingeyes,likegreenglass.Heraisedhisglasstohis
lipsandcontinuedtostareatherupturnedfaceuntil
shereddened,although,henoticed,shedidn'ttearhergazeawayasshenormally
would,sothatshecouldrushbehindherdefences.
Shemethisstareandmatchedit.
'OfcourseIhaven'tbeenwatchingyou.''
'Well,I'vebeenwatchingyou,'hesaidsoftly,'alongwithmostoftheotherunatta
chedmalesinthisplace.Wouldyoulike
todance?'
Beforeshecouldformulateananswer,hehadcircledherwaistwithhishandsand
waspullingherinthedirectionofthe
makeshiftdancefloor.
Hersoftcomplianceassheleantintohimmadehimtightenthemusclesaroundhi
sloinsandahotwaveofunexpectedly
primitiveemotionfloodedthroughhim.Hetightenedhisholdonher,pullingher
closerintohimsothathecouldfeelthecrushofher
softbreastsagainsthischestandsothatshecouldfeelthehardnessbetweenhisle
gsthatwouldbetellingherexactlywhathewanted
todowithher.
'Peoplewilltalk,'Saramurmured,allowingherheadtorestlightlyonhisshoulde
r.
'Becausewe'redancing?'Heknewexactlywhatshemeant.Itwasn'tthattheywe
redancing,buthowtheyweredancing.
Therewasnotamillimetreofspacebetweenthemandshewasgyratingslowlyag
ainsthisbody,intimetotheslow,steadybeatofthe
lovesong.
Lord,butwasthishowshedancedwithothermen?Thethoughtsentashardofsea
ringjealousystraightthroughhimand
hecurledhisfingersintoherlonghair,tiltingherfacetohis.
'DoyougotoalotofnightclubsinLondon,Sara?'heaskedhuskilyandshegaveal
ow-throatedgurgleoflaughterand
shookherhead.
'Itryandnotgooutatall.Or,atleast,notveryoften.SometimesonaSaturdayeven
ing,althoughSundayswerealwaysthe
worstforme.Don'tyoufindSundaystheloneliestdayoftheweek?'Shetrailedhe
rfingersfromhisshoulderstothebackofhisneck
andheaudiblycaughthisbreath.
'Howmuchhaveyouhadtodrink?'hequeriedunsteadily.
'Threeglasses.Andcounting.'
'Threeglassesandfullstop.'
'Ihopeyou'renottellingmehowmuchIcandrink,MrDalgleish,becauseifyouar
ethenI'mafraidyoudon'tknowmeat
all.'
'Becauseyoudon'ttakeordersfromaman?'
'That'sright.'God,ithadbeenalongtimesinceshehaddancedlikethiswithaman
.Thinkingaboutit,shedidn't
remembereverdancinglikethiswithaman,notevenPhillip,whohadhateddanc
inganywayandwasscathingofanywherethatloud
musicwasplayedandhemightbeobligedtogetupanddance.
'Now,that'ssomethingthatmightcomebetweenus,'hemurmuredlazily.
'Becauseyoulikeorderingpeopleabout?'
'BecausewhenIsleepwithawomanIliketobeincharge.'
Hiswordsfloatedoverherandintoherandthencrashedthroughherconsciousne
ss,leavingbehindasurgeofexcitement
thatmadehernippleshardenagainstthelacycoveringofherbra.
'Areyouhungry?'
'Whwhat?'
'BecauseIseethey'rebeginningtoputoutthefoodoverthere.'Themusiccameto
anabrupthalt,someoneannouncedthat
foodwasservedandthateveryonehadtoformanorderlyqueue,andhepulledaw
ayfromher.
Somethinginherstomach.Sheneededsomethinginherstomach.Shecouldfeel
thealcohol,preciouslittlebutmorethan
shewasusedtodrinking,swishingaroundinsideher.Thebarbecuesmelleddeli
cious.
'Itwillsoberyouup,'Jamessaidinanundertoneandwhenshewasbeginningtow
onderwhetherthepostscripttothat
remarkwasthat,sober,shewouldn'tcarryonmakingafoolofherself,hecontinu
edwithalazyhalf-smile,'sothatIcannotlaterbe
accusedofhavinghadmywickedwaywithsomeoneundertheinfluenceofdrin
k.'Hiseyestangledwithhers.
'Youwon'tbehavingyourwickedwaywithme,'Saraprotestedweakly.
'Shallwejoinsomeoftheothersoutside?'Hehadtostoplookingatthosedrowsy,
beckoningeyesorhewouldhaveno
choicebuttoabandoneatinganddraghersomewhereprivate,tohellwithwhatth
eentiretownhadtosayonthesubject.Corporate
businesswomanshemightwellhavebeen,butwhenitcametoemotionsshewas
themostintriguingwomanhehadevermetandthe
complexcombinationofvulnerabilityandgutsyintelligencewasdrivinghimcr
azy.
Sarawasbarelyawareoftheconversationswirlingaroundherasshemunchedh
erwaythroughchicken,asausageand
somebitsofsaladandbread.Theonlythingshewasawareofwastheenergyema
natingfromthemansittingalongsideheronthe
bench,histhighgrazingherseverysooften.
Whenthemusicstartedback,driftingthroughtheopenwindowstowhereoutsid
elightshadbeenswitchedonto
accommodatethegatheringdarkness,Jamesstoodupandannouncedthatitwas
timeforthemtoleave.
HISCONVINIENTMISTRESS
CATHYWILLIAMS
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19
'Sarawantstobebackearlyasit'sthefirsttimemymotherisbabysittingherson.'
Herchancewasnow,toagreewithhimandleave,buttogowhereanddowhat,ort
odisagree,standhergroundandput
herprovocativebehaviourdowntoalittletoomuchwineonanemptystomach.R
ightnow,shefeltassoberasajudge.
Wrongtime,wrongplaceanddefinitely,shethought,wrongman.Shewasbeha
vinglikeateenagerinsteadofthe
responsiblemotherthatshewas,floppingalloverhim
likeawetragandactingasthoughthathuskyvoiceofhisandhisbody
pressingagainstherssothatshecouldfeelhisarousalwasbecauseofher.Wheni
nsteadhewasonlyared-bloodedmaleresponding
intypicalfashiontoareasonablyattractivewomanwhohadtoomuchwineinsid
eherforherowngood.
Butshehadbeeninadeepfreezeforfiveyears.Somewherealongthelineshehad
forgottenthatshewasonlytwenty-six,
hardlyoverthehill.
'Hecanbeabitnervouswithstrangers,tostartwith,'Sarasaid,clearingherthroat
andstandingup.'IpromisedhimthatI
wouldn'tbebacklate.WhereshallIputmyplateandglass?'
'Leaveithere,'Fionasaid,catchinghereyeandgrinningbroadly.'I'lltakeitin.So
meofuspoor,haplesssoulshavebeen
ropedintodoingalltheclearingaway,sowe'llbehereuntilthebreakofdawn.Ora
tleastuntileleven-thirtywhenourresidentDJ
packsupandleaves.'
'Thatwouldbemybrother,'Helenexplained,smiling,'andhe'llpackupexactly
whenItellhimto.'
Itwasonlywhentheywereoutsideintheclear,coolairthatasickeningrushofner
veswashedoverher,andwhenshe
steppedgingerlyintohiscaritintensifiedtothepointwhereshehadtorestherhea
dbackandclosehereyes.
Hedidn'tstarttheengineimmediately.Instead,heturnedinhisseatandlookedat
her.'Ifyouwanttobackout,tellme
now.'
Saraslowlyinclinedherheadsothatshewaslookingstraightintohisglitteringe
yes.'Idon'tknow whattodo,'she
answeredtruthfully.
'Iknowwhatyouwanttodo,'hemurmured,reachingouttoslidehisfingersalong
hercheekandintoherhair,andSara's
breathcaughtpainfullyinherthroat.
'Wherewillwego?'
'TotheRectory.'Hegaveherakillingsmilethatmadehershiverwithfearandsear
inganticipation.'Anddon'tworry,'he
dippedhisfingerstoherhalf-
partedmouthandgentlytraceditsoutline,'I'mnotabeast.Ifyouchangeyourmin
dalongtheway,I
won'ttakeadvantageofyou.'Butshewouldn't,hethoughtwithaflareoftriumph
thatmadehisloinsphysicallyache.Shewantedhim
asbadlyashewantedher.Hecouldfeelitintheloadedatmospherebetweenthem
.Theairwasthickwithunexpressedneeds.Hewas
notsurprisedwhenshegavehimanimperceptiblenodandonlythendidheturna
wayandfiretheengineintolife.
CHAPTERFIVE
EventoSara'sracingmind,thedrivebackseemedalotshorterandwasaccompli
shedinsilence.Asilencepregnantwith
slickexcitement.
'Changedyourmindyet?'Jamesaskedsoftly,whentheyreachedtheRectoryan
dhehadkilledtheengine.
'Changedyours?'Shelaughedalittlewryly.'We'rebehavingliketeenagers.Atl
eastIam.It'sjustthat'
'Justthatwhat?'
'Oh,Idon'tknow.'Sheshruggedandstaredoutofthewindow.Yes,shewantedto
sleepwithhim.Badly.Toobadly,and
thatwastheproblem,buthow.couldsheexplainthattohim?Howcouldshetellhi
mthatshewasfranklyterrifiedofopeningherself
uptoanothermanwhenherexperienceswiththelastonehadlefthermortallywo
unded?Hewouldroarwithlaughter.Thiswasn't
abouthavingarelationshipasfarasJamesDalgleishwasconcerned,itwasabout
havingsex,andhavingsexwasnotsomethinghe
wouldassociatewithagonising.
'Look,whydon'twegoinsideandwecantalk?'
'Areyouinterestedintalking?'Shelookedathimandhefeltasharptugsomewhe
reinsideattheworriedexpressiononher
face.'No,ofcourseyou'renot,'shesaidonalittlesigh.'Whyshouldyoube?What
doessexhavetodowithtalking?'
'Comeon.'Heslungopenhiscardoorandstroderoundsothathecouldpullherso
penforher.'Ifyouneedtotalkuntilthis
timenextweek,thenI'mgoingtolisten,sooutyoucomeandwe'llgoinsideandge
tourselvessomegood,strongcoffee.'
'Youdon'thavetoIknowthelastthingyouwanttodoisdrinkcoffeeatakitchen
tableandchat,especiallywhen
especiallysince '
Hedidn'tanswer.Insteadhetookherlimphandinhisandgentlypulledheroutoft
hecar.
'Whereareyourkeys?'
'Icanopenthedoor.'Shedetachedherhandfromhissothatshecouldrummagear
oundinherbag,andassoonasshehad
foundthekeysandopenedtheside-
doorimmediatelywantedtoslipherhandbackintohis.
NowonderI'minastate,shethoughtjerkily.Whenwasthelasttimeshehadwant
edphysicalcontactwithaman?But
whatthehellmusthebethinkingofher?Shecertainlywasn'tlivinguptoherimag
eofasavvyLondongirlwhohadmovedinthefast
laneandknewhowtobehaveaccordingly.Shewasactinglikeanadolescentsuff
eringanextremecaseoffirst-datenerves.
"There'snoneed'
'Ifyousaythatoncemore,I'llthrottleyou.Nowstepaside,andgointothekitchen.
I'llmakeussomecoffeeandwecan
takeitintothesittingroom.Thenwe'lltalk.'Heleanedagainsttheframeofthe
door,toweringoverher,andshestoodbacktolet
himbrushpast.
'Perhapsweshouldgobacktoyourhouse.IneedtocheckandmakesurethatSim
on'sOK.'
'He'llbefine.'Hestuckthekettleon,fetchedmugs,spoonedcoffeeintothemand
resistedthetemptationtoturnaroundand
drinkinthefigureonthechair.Havinggivenhimthegreenlight,shewasnowapp
lyingthebrakesasifherlifedependedonit,andto
hisamazementhewasn'tintheslightestbitannoyed.Frustratedyes,butannoye
dno.Andhestillwantedher.Insteadofdampening
hisenthusiasm,herhesitantretreatseemedtohavefuelledhim
evenmore.Hemustbemellowingwithage,hethoughtwithwry
bemusement.
'Now,yougointothesittingroom.Youcancallmymotherandfindoutwhethere
verything'sallright,butshewouldhave
calledmeiftherehadbeenaproblem.Itookmymobilephonewithme.Still,ifitp
utsyourmindatrest'
'Whyareyoubeingsounderstanding?'Saraaskedwarily.'Anddon'ttellmethat
you'reanunderstandingmanbynature.'
'Well,'Jamesshotheraslow,amusedsmilethatmadeherstomachcurllikeafisti
nsideher,'ImustsayI'veneverknown
anywomanwho'susedaggressionaspartofhercourtshiproutine.'
HISCONVINIENTMISTRESS
CATHYWILLIAMS
HARLEQUINPRESENTS2479
20
'We'renotcourtingoneanother,though,'Sarareturnedquickly,'soI'mallowed.'
Courtship?JamesDalgleish?Hadheever
courtedawomaninhislife?Sheverymuchdoubtedit,andthenhardontheheelso
fthatthoughtcameanotherwhatwoulditbe
like?Whatwoulditbeliketohavethisbig,powerful,self-
confident,sexymangoweakatthekneesatthethoughtofawoman?To
findhimselfunabletofunctionunlessshewasaround?Thethoughtofitmadeher
blushandshehustledtowardsthesittingroom,
acutelyconsciousofhimfollowingcloselybehindher.
'Youcan'thideawayforever.'Thosewerehisfirstwordstheminuteshehadsatdo
wnandhehadmovedacrosstothebay
windowsothathecouldperchagainsttheledgeandstaredownather.
'BecauseIdidn'tjumpintothesackwithyoudoesn'tmeanthatI'mhidingawayfr
omanything!'Saralied,buttherewasno
vigourinhervoice.Hewasstaringatherinthesameprobingwaythatshewouldh
aveshiedawayfromadayago,butwhichnow
madeherwanttojustjustlethimin.Shehadnoideawheretheurgewascoming
frombutherhelplessnesstofightitofffrightened
her.
'Ofcourseyouare.'Jamessaunteredtowardsthesofaandsatdownnexttoher,de
pressingitwithhisweight.Itwassmall
enoughforhisthightorestlightlyagainsthersandallthosecrazy,racingpulsesle
aptintolifeasheturnedtolookather,stretching
outhisarmalongthebackofthesofasothatitwasrestinglooselybehindhershoul
ders.'Whyelsewouldyouhaverunouthere,to
thebackofbeyond?'
'Youknowwhy.SimonSimonhashadtheserecurrentchestinfectionsforyea
rs;heneededtogetoutofLondon.This
house,comingwhenitdid,justseemedlikethehandoffate.'
'Youcouldhavemovedtothecountryandstillbeenwithincommutingdistance
ofyourjobinLondon.'
'Whyareyoupinningmeagainstthewallwithyourquestions?'
'Becauseyousaidyouwantedtotalkandtalkyouwill.What'stherelationshipwi
thSimon'sfather?'
'What'sthatgottodowithanything?'Shebegantolookawayandhecaughtherch
ininonehandandforcedhertolookat
himinstead.
'Justabouteverything,'hegrated.'Iwanttosleepwithyou,butIhavenointention
ofsleepingwithawomanwho'sstill
involvedwithherex.'Itshockedhimjusthowmuchhehatedthethoughtofsome
oneelsehavingaclaimtoherbody,tohermind.
'AndhereIwas,thinkingthatyouwereoneofthosetypical,unscrupuloushigh-
fliers,'Saramockedinanattempttolighten
theatmosphere.Itdidn'twork.Hecontinuedtolookatherwithsuchunsmilingco
ncentrationthatshefeltgiddyandthecurling
feelinginherstomachbegantospreadtootherplacesinherbody.
'Youstillhaven'tansweredmyquestion.'
'Idon'thaveanykindofrelationshipwithPhillip,'Sarasaidinarush.Hercheeks
werepinkwithcolour.'No,I'mlying.I
havegotarelationshipwithPhillip,butit'smorealongthelinesofloathing.'Sheg
aveabitterlaugh.'Youcouldsaywedidn'tparton
thebestofterms.'
'Youmeanbeforeyoucameuphere?'
'ImeanwhenhediscoveredIwaspregnant.There.Satisfied?'
'I'lltellyouwhenI'msatisfied,'Jamesmurmured.'AndI'mnot.Itakeithedidn'tli
kethethoughtofbecomingadaddy?'
'What'sthepointintalkingaboutthis?'Sarasquirmed.
'Thepointisthatyoucan'tliveyourlifeifyou'restillattachedtoyourpast.'
'That'spsychobabble.'
'Isit?Ibetyouhaven'thadarelationshipwithanymansinceSimon'sbeenonthes
cene,'hesaidastutely.'Haveallthemen
inyourlifeoverthepastfiveyearsjustbeengoodfriends,Sara?'
Pridestruggledwithwearyhelplessnessandsheshrugged.'Youdon'tunderstan
d.Yougoouttoworkbecauseyouwantto
notbecauseyouhaveto.I'veworkedsothatIcouldpayoffthemortgageandraise
achild.Ihaven'thadachoiceandthere'snoroom
toclock-watchwhenyou'reacommoditytrader.It'snotanine-to-
fivejobandjustthesmallesthintofweaknesswouldhavecostme
myjob.Ihaven'thadhadtimetodevotetocultivatingarelationship.'Shefoun
dthatshewaswringingherhandstogetherandshe
madeanefforttostillthem.
'Soyouworkedfromdawntillduskandspentyourleisuretimefeelingguiltybec
auseyouhadtoleaveyoursoninthecare
ofastranger.'
'Shewasn'tastranger,'Sarasaid,hearingthemiseryinhervoicewithdistaste.Sel
f-pitywasanindulgencewhichshehad
alwaysviewedwithcontempt,exceptintheveryearlyhoursofthemorning,whe
ntherestoftheworldwasasleepandshecould
allowhermindtodriftoveritspastandbuildcastlesthatwerenevergoingtobe.
'Youcouldhavegotanotherjob,somethinglessdemanding.MovedoutofLond
on,workedsomewhereinoneofthe
counties.'
'Youdon'tunderstand,'Saramuttered,tuggingherfaceoutofhiscontrollinggri
psothatshedidn'thavetolookintothose
disturbing,piercingnavyblueeyes.
Sheknewwhyhewasdoingthis,sittingonthissofa,encouraginghertospillouth
erlifehistory.Hewantedtosleepwith
herandwaspreparedtohelpheroverthislittlestumblingblocksimplyasameans
toanend.Whatconfusedherwasherown
temptationtoyield.Shehadspenttoolongonherown,shethoughtfeverishly,to
olongwardingofftherestoftheworld.Shehad
confidedinPhillipandlookwherethathadgother.
'Soyoukeeptellingme.Well,then,whydon'tyouenlightenme?'
Hewatchedthefractionaltiltofherheadandthestubborncompressionofhermo
uthandthoughtthatifhehadanysense
atallhewouldleavehertoherzealouslyprotectedthoughtsandwalkrightoutoft
hekitchendoor.Hewasn'tinterestedinplaying
lengthygameswiththeoppositesex.
'Scared,Sara?'hemurmuredsoftly.Shedidn'tanswer,justcontinuedtostareun
blinkinglyinfrontofher.'Whatdidthat
bastarddotoyou?'heenquiredanditwasthegentlenessinhisvoicethatdiditforh
er.
Shefelttheprickoftearsbehindherlidsandwasmortifiedwhenoneoozedoutoft
hecornerofhereye.
'Sorry,'shemumbled,rubbingherfistagainsthereyeandtakingseveraldeepbre
aths.Hesilentlyhandedheracrispwhite
handkerchiefandshedabbedhereyeswithoutlookingathimandthenclenchedt
hehandkerchiefinherhand.'Ibetyouhatewomen
whocry.'
Heflusheddarklywhensheslidhereyessidewaystocatchtheexpressionofdisc
omfortonhisface.
'Thoughtso.'
HISCONVINIENTMISTRESS
CATHYWILLIAMS
HARLEQUINPRESENTS2479
21
'Idon'thatewomenwhocry,perse,'Jamessaid,wonderinghowhehadsuddenly
happenedtofindhimselfontheback
legs.
'Youjusthateitwhentheycrybecausetheywantmorefromyouthanyou'reprep
aredtogive.'
'Weweren'ttalkingaboutme,'heraspeduncomfortablyandSaraimpulsivelyre
achedoutandstrokedthesideofhischeek.
Itwasthefirsttimeshehadglimpsedanylossofthatphenomenalself-
controlandhesuddenlylookedlikeaboy,caughthavingto
confesstosomethinghedidn'twantto.
Jamescaughtherhandinhisandnippedhersoftpalm,lookingintoherfaceashed
idso.'Witch,'hemurmured,'don'tthink
youcanchangethesubjectwheneveryouwantto.I'mnotthroughtalkingtoyouq
uiteyet.'Hetrailedhistonguelightlyagainstthe
softundersideofherwristandshegaspedattheburstofpleasurethatthesimpleto
uchinvoked.
Philliphadbeenherfirstandonlyloverbuthislovemakinghadbeentargetedtow
ardshisownsatisfaction,somethingshe
hadonlyseeninretrospectandwiththeadvantageofhindsightwhenthelimitati
onsofhispersonalityhadbecomestunninglyobvious.
ShehadhadnopointsofcomparisonbutinstinctivelysheknewthatJameswasn
otcutfromthesamecloth.Atleastnotasfarasthe
sexualgamewasconcerned.
Shewasbreathingquicklyashetrailedaleisurelypathwithhismouthalonghera
rm,finallypullinghertowardshimso
thathecouldassaulthermouthinakissthatwaslingeringandcoaxingbutultimat
elypromisedtotalpossession.Everyporeinher
bodywasscreamingoutforsatisfaction.
'I Ithoughtyouwanted totalk.'
'Later.Nowshallwegosomewheremorecomfortable?'Hepausedtomurmu
ragainsthermouthandSaranodded
drowsilyathim.
'Upstairs.Mybedroom.It'sthefirstdoorontheleft.'Shefoundthatshecouldbare
lyutterthewordscoherently.
Beforeshecouldputhertremblinglegstothetest,hehadreachedoutandscoope
dherup,carryingherthroughthesitting
roomasthoughsheweighedlessthanafeather,thenupthestairsandalongthelan
dinguntilhecouldnudgeopenthedoortoher
bedroomwithhisfoot.
'Please,nolights,'Sarabegged,whenhemadetoturnontheoverheadlight.
'I'llcompromise,'hedrawledbywayofresponse,andpromptlyswitchedonthel
ittlelamponthetablebythesideofthe
king-
sizedbed,sothattheroomwasbathedinaverysoftglow.'Iwanttoseeyou,mydar
ling.IwanttoseeyourfacewhenItouch
youandIwantyoutoseeme.'
Hewatchedhercheeksturnpinkandmarvelledhowawomanwhohadobviousl
yheldherowninthedemanding,cutthroatworldoftradingcouldberenderedass
hyasakittenwhenitcametoherownsexuality.
Hehadlaidheronthebedandhelookedatherasshestaredathimwithfascination,
herredhairdramaticagainstthepale
creambedlinen.
Deliberatelyheremovedhisclothes,itembyitem.Firsthisshirt,thenhisshoes,h
issocksandhistrousers,neverlettinghis
eyesleaveherface.Herbreathwascominginshortlittlegasps.Didsheknowho
wmuchofaturn-onitwasforhimtobewatchedthe
wayshewaswatchinghimnow?hewondered.Whatwasgoingoninherhead?S
hedidn'twanttobeattractedtohim,hadfought
againstittoothandnail,butshewas.Sohowvaluablewashisconquest?Onepart
ofherwashis,buthewasslowlydiscoveringthat
capturingthatonepartwasnotgoingtobeenough.Ithelpedthatshewasn'tharbo
uringanynostalgicfeelingsaboutherex,buthestill
wantedmorethanherphysicalcapitulation.
Hewasthicklyandimpressivelyarousedwhenhestrippedoffhisboxershortsan
dhesmiledwithindolentamusementas
hermouthpartedatthesightofhim.
Shecouldn'thelpit.Shedazedlythoughtthathisbodywasasmuchaworkofartas
itwaspossibleforanyhumanbodyto
be.Broad-
shouldered,withhispowerfulchestnarrowingtoaslimwaistandhipsandlegsth
atnooneintheirrightmindwouldever
haveassociatedwithabusinessman.Shecoulddiscerntheflexofhismusclesan
dsinewsbeneaththeolive-tonedskin,andwhenher
eyesalightedonhisproudlyerectmanhoodshefoundthatshecouldn'ttearthem
away.
Hewalkedtowardsthesideofthebedandextendedhishands,reachingoutforhe
rtotakethemsothathecoulddrawher
toherfeet.
Thethoughtofhernakedbodywassomethingtobesavoured.Hewantedtobethe
onewhoremovedherclothes,sothathe
couldseehernudityinchbyinch,appreciateeverytinybitofitinslowdegrees.
Heunzippedthedressfromthebackandshearchedashekissedtheslendercolu
mnofherneck,thenhershouldersasthe
dresswastuggeddowntoherwaist,exposingherbreastsstrainingthroughthela
cybra.
Later.Hewouldsavourthemlater,feastonthem,butfornowhewascontenttosp
anherwaistwithhisbighandsanddraw
herclosesothathecouldtakehermouthinalingeringkiss.
Shewastallandslender,justtheoppositeofthesmall,voluptuouswomenhehad
alwaysfavoured,buttherewas
somethingunbearablyeroticaboutthesensuouslengthofher,theperfectflawle
ssnessofherpaleskin.
Hebroughthishandsuptocupherbreastsandshesighedwithpleasure,automati
callypushingthem towardshim,
conductingherowninventoryofhisbodywithherhands.Sheranthemalonghis
shoulders,thencircledhistightbrownnippleswith
herthumbs,thenmovedtocaressthehard,fiatplanesofhisstomach.
Shewaswearingtoomanyclothes.Shewantedtofeelhim,fleshagainstflesh,an
dasiftheneedwasasstronginhimasit
wasinherhedraggeddownherdress,whichfelltoherankles,allowinghertostep
outofit.
'Now,bed'
'Whatabouttherestofmyclothes?'Saraasked,dippinghereyesatthenakedyear
ninginhisexpression.
'Oh,don'tworry,Ishallgettothat'
Therewassomethingshamelesslywantonaboutlyingsemi-
clothedonavastbed,withabigmantoweringpossessively
overyou.Sarasmiledwithhalf-
closedeyes,invitinghisravishingappraisalofher,whichwasnolesssearingtha
ntheoneshewas
affordinghim.
Therewasnoyesterdayandnotomorrow,onlythismoment,righthereandnow,t
imeless.
Sarapushedherselfupagainstthepillowsandreachedbehindwithtremblingfin
gerstounclaspthebra.Sensationwas
racingthroughher,betrayingeverylineofdefenceshehadeveradoptedwhenitc
ametotheoppositesex.Shejustknewthatshe
wantedthisman'seyesonherandhishandsonherandhisbodytopossesshersutte
rly.
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CATHYWILLIAMS
HARLEQUINPRESENTS2479
22
Jamesmovedtowardsthesideofthebedandloweredhimselfalongsideher,wat
chingherquiveringbodyandrelishingthe
thoughtoftastingeverylastinchofit.Asherbrawasundoneandbeforeshecould
pullitoff,hestraddledhersothathislength
coveredhersandhesupportedhimselfonhiselbowasheslippedhisfreehandun
derthebratocupthesoftmoundofherbreast.
Hefeltherlowmoanashebeganteasingonenipple,rollingitgentlybetweenhist
humbandforefinger.Henudgedupthe
braandfeastedonthesightofherbarebreasts.Lord,buthewouldhavetocontrol
hisurgetotakeherimmediately,rightnow,and
releasethepounding,physicalacheofhisdesireinhisloins.
Helayoverherandcaughthishandsinherhair.Herheadwasflungbackandanot
hermoanescapedherashetracedher
lowerlipwithhistongue,thentastedthesweetnessofhermouthinaslow,sensua
lkissthathadherwrithinglikeacatbeneathhim.
Ithadbeenalongtime,andevenwhenshehadmadeloveallthattimeagoithadne
verbeenlikethis.Throughherhazy
mind,sheknewthatshewasbeingtouchedbyamanwhohadcompletemasteryi
ntheartofmakinglove.Hismouthwasdemanding
andhungryyetdelicatelylingeringandshewassoabsorbedwiththepleasureofi
tthatshewashardlyawarethathehadnudgedapart
herthighs,thebetterforhertofeelhisrampantmalenesspressedagainsther.He
movedslowlyoverher,hishardshaftpressing
againsthermoistcleftwithanevocativerhythmthatmadehergasp.
'Enjoyingyourself,cara?'
'YouyouknowIam.'
'Thenwhydon'tyoutellme?'
'Don'tstop.Please.'
Herwordssentfierceadrenalinerushingthroughhim.Heslidoffthebraandease
dhimselflowersothathecouldtracethe
tightbudofherswollennipplewiththetipofhistongue,andwhenshecouldbeari
tnolongershetangledherfingersintohishairand
pushedhimdownsothathecouldsuckleonhernippleanddrawitshamelesslyint
ohismouth.
Agroanescapedherandhervoice,sohuskythatshebarelyrecogniseditasherow
n,pleadedwithhimtotakeher.Her
briefswerewetwithherunbiddenarousal,shecouldfeelit,andwhenheeasedthe
moffshequiveredwithreliefandinstinctively
partedherlegs,invitinghisentrance.
Buthewasn'tready.Heshiftedhisattentionfromonebreasttotheother,teasingt
hefullpinkdiscwithhismouthwhilehis
handtraileddowntoherstomachandnavel,thenwithinexorableslownesstothe
slipperycreasebetweenherthighs.
Saratensedasheprobedandthenrubbedthesensitiveclitoristhathadherreleasi
ngherbreathinshakygaspsasifshewas
fightingforair.
Shewasperchedontheedgeoforgasm,thenshewasfreefalling,unabletoresistt
hepowerfulshuddersofsoaring
pleasureashecontinuedtorubherbeforeeasinghisfingerdeepintohermoistnes
s.Herbodyliterallyshookandtrembledunderthe
assaultofsensation,andwhenshefinallystilledshecouldbarelyopenhereyesto
lookathim.
Hewouldbedisappointedbutshehadbeenpowerlesstoresisthisstimulation.S
hegroanedwithfrustrationandlookedat
him.
'I'msorry,'Sarawhisperedandhesmiledather.
'Whatfor?'Helaynexttoheronhissideandturnedhertofacehim.
'Forforyouknowwhy'Asiftodemonstratewhatshefounddifficulttosa
y,shetouchedhimandhishardnesspulsed
inresponse.
'Youdon'tthinkthatwe'vefinishedalready,doyou?'
Greeneyeswidened.
'I'veonlyexploredapartofyourbody,'heinformedherwithalow,sexylaugh.
Asiftoprovehispoint,heraisedherarmandproceededtotraceapathwithhislips
alongherside,reawakeningripplesof
sensationinher.Thenhemovedhisattentiontoherstomach,tothesoftindentati
onofhernavel,thendowntothemostintimateplace
ofall,wherehisskilfulfingershadjustfinishedtheirmasterfulassault.
'No!'Saratriedtoclampshutherlegs,butwithoutsuccess.
'No?'Helookedupather,then,tofurtheraddleher,heblewgentlyagainstthestill
swollennubofherfemininity.'Why
not?'
'Youcan'tI'venever'
'Neverhadaman'smouthdownthere?'Theshockinglyforthrightquestionhadh
erblushingfuriouslyandshewouldhave
buckedagainsthim
butitwouldhavebeenuseless.Hisweightwasrenderingherimmobile.'There's
afirsttimeforeverything,
though,isn'tthere?'
Withoutallowingthechancefordebate,heloweredhisheadandwithalmostunb
earabledelicacytouchedthetipofher
clitoriswithhistongue.
Fromfeelingspentonlyminutespreviously,Sara'sbodychargedintolifeasifaj
oltofelectricityhadrunthroughit.Where
shewouldhavewrithed,heheldherstillwithhishandsfirmlyplacedonherhips.
Thenhewaslickingwitharhythmicpressurethat
hadhergroaningwithundisguisedrapture.
Shehadneverreachedtheseheightsbeforeandherwholebodywastremblingwi
tharipplingonslaughtofsensationsthat
hadhercryingout.
Thenwhenshethought,anguished,thatshewouldagainnolongerbeabletorestr
ainherselffromcapitulatingtowhathe
wasdoingtoherbody,hewasbreakingawayfrom
thehoneyedmoistnessandmovingtocoverherbodywithhisinonefluid
movement.
'Contraception,'hemurmuredandhereyesflickeredopenattheprosaicnatureo
ftheremark.
'Whwhat?'
'Areyouusingany?'hequestionedsoftly,'becauseifyouaren't,thenthereareoth
erwaysofreachingaclimaxwithout
penetration'
Hewasresponsible,herbrainregistereddimly,responsibleenoughtothinkabo
uttheconsequencesofwhattheywere
abouttodo.Shehalfsmiled.'There'snoneedtoworry,'shesaid,stretchingup,fel
ine-like,tocoilherarmsaroundhisshoulders.'And
noneedtotalkeither,'shewhispered.
Inactualfact,shewasonthePill,notbecausehersexliferequiredit,butbecauset
hePillregulatedherperiodsandhelped
tolightentheflow.Theexplanationwasthereifhewantedit,butrightnowshewa
sn'tintendingtolaunchintoit.Herbodywas
screamingforfulfilmentandshecouldtellfromtheglitterinhiseyesthathewasa
swell.
HISCONVINIENTMISTRESS
CATHYWILLIAMS
HARLEQUINPRESENTS2479
23
Sarafelthimenterherandherbodytensedaseverymusclestretchedtoaccommo
datehissize.Heeasedhimselfinslowly,
withdrewslightly,easedhimselffurtherinandthenhewasmovinginsideher,de
epthruststhathadherspirallingtowardsthemost
powerfulclimaxshehadeverexperienced.
Andshewitnessedhisownsoaringpassionashispowerfulbodyarchedbackon
onelong,finalthrustandheshudderedto
completefulfilment.
Hecouldhavemadelovetoheragain.Hewantednothingmorethantolosehimse
lfoncemoreinherexquisitebodyand
letherloseherselfinhis,buttherewasathreadofuncertaintyrunningthroughhi
mthatmadehimwonderwhethershewouldjustpull
back,retreatagaintoaplacewherehemightnotbeabletoreachher.
Hehadwantedherandnowhefelthimselfconsumedbythepossibilityofhaving
heragain.Hisvagueplantosomehow
gettoknowhersothathecouldmanoeuvrehiswayintobuyingtheRectorylayins
plintersathisfeet,buthedidn'tcare.Atleastnot
atthismomentintime.Atthismomentintimetheonlythinghecaredaboutwasre
peatingthemind-blowingexperiencetheyhad
shared.
'WewehavetogoandcollectSimon,'wasthefirstcoherentthingthatcametoh
ermindashelayonhissideandtugged
hersothatshewasfacinghim.
'It's'heglancedattheclockonthemantelpieceoverthefireplace'eleven-
fifteen.He'llbeasleepalready'Hedidn't
wanttoscareheroffbutjustlyingherenexttoherwasmakinghisbodystirintolife
onceagain.'Sohewon'tnoticewhetheryou're
therenoworinanhour'stime
andIcanthinkofotherthingswecandotofillthetime'Hestrokedthesideofher
breastthen
rolledonenipplebetweenhisfingers,feelingaflareoftriumphasithardenedathi
stouch.
Sex.Itwasallaboutsex,andshehonestlycouldn'tblamehim.Theyhadmadelov
elikepeoplewhohadspentyears
starvedofphysicalcontact.Rightinhercase,butinhiscase?Hewasjustahighlys
killedloverwhoknewhowtopresstheright
buttonstogettherightresponses.
'No,'shesaidweakly,disturbedbythethoughtthatthereshouldbesomethingm
orethanjusttheactofmakinglove,
howevergloriousthatwasinitself.
'Whynot?'Heremovedhishandandshefeltthelossofcontactwithashiverofdis
may.
'Becausebecausewejustcan't.'
'Can't?'
Saratwistedherheadsothatshedidn'thavetolookintohiseyes.Thoseeyesmade
herdoubteverythingshehadever
believed,madeherwonderwhethershyingawayfrommensothatshecouldnev
erbehurthadactuallybeensuchagoodideaafterall.
Shedidn'twanttodoubtherself.ShehadSimontoconsider.Therewasnowaytha
tshewouldexposehimtohavingamanaround,
onlyforthemantodisappearjustashisownfatherhad.AndJamesDalgleishwas
adisappearingkindofman.Youdidn'tneeda
degreeinrocketsciencetospotthatamileoff.
'Ineedtogetdressed.'
'Oh,no,youdon't.'Hegrippedherarm
firmlyenoughtoanchorhertothespotbutnotsohardthathewasphysically
hurtingher,althoughsheknewthattheslightestattemptbyhertogetoffthebedw
ouldresultinenoughpressureforhimtoensure
thatshewentnowhere,
'Howlongdoyouplanonrunningaway,Sara?Anotheryear?Twoyears?Theres
tofyourlife?'
'You'rehurtingmyarm.'
'PorDios,woman!Weallscrew
uponceinawhile!Thetrickisnottoenduphauntedbyit!'Hecouldfeelher
withdrawingwitheverypassingsecondandhispowerlessnesstodoanythingab
outitmadehimwanttobreakthings.Butaggression
wouldgethimnowhere.Heforcedhimselftocalmdown,releasedherarmandga
veheralong,measuredlook.
'You'vescrewedup?Ever?'
'Yes,ifyoumustknow.'Hefeltasifhewassteppingofftheedgeofsomething,but
what?'WhenIwasyoung,Ihada
flingwithawomantenyearsolderthanme.IthoughtitwasloveuntilIsurprisedh
eratherflatoneafternoonwithanotherman.
TurnedoutIwasalittleplaythingbeingcultivatedbythepairofthemasaneasyro
utetosomequickcash.Marryme,divorceme,end
uprich.Nice,quick,foolproof.'Therewasnoreasonwhyheshouldhavekeptthi
suntoldstorytohimself,butitstillconfusedthehell
outofhimastowhyhehadfeltsodamnedcompelledtotellitinthefirstplace.
'Whatdidyoudo?'
'Ilearntmylesson,'hesaidabruptly.
'Butyoudidn'thaveachild.'
'No.'
'Andchildrengethurt.'
'Andadultscanusethattohidebehind!'
'Iwanttogetmysonbacknow.'Herheartwasbeatinglikeadrumandsomethingi
nsideherheadwasscreamingouttoher
thatonewrongmovenowwouldlandherwaist-deepinquicksand.
'Feelfree.'Helaybackwithhishandsbehindhishead.
'Whatdoyoumean,feelfree?'
'Imeanfeelfreetogoandgethim.I'llbewaitingrightheretillyougetback.'
'Whyisitsohardforyoutotakenoforananswer?'Saraflaredinsuddenanger.She
sweptherlegsoffthebedand
stormedtowardsthebathroom,clutchingherbundleofclothesinonehand.
OK,somaybesheshouldn'thavesleptwithhim,butshehadandshedidn'tregret
oneminuteofit.Shejustdidn'twantitto
goanyfurther.Whycouldn'theacceptthat?
Shehadaveryquickshower,changedandhalfexpectedthathewouldhaveleftb
utwhenshereturnedtothebedroomit
wastofindthathewasstillthere,althoughthankfullybackinhisclothesandloun
gingagainstthebaywindow.
'I'llbewaitingrighthereforyou,'heinformedhersteadily.
'Why?'Thequestionwastornfromher.
'Becausewewantoneanotherandit'snogoodpretendingotherwise.You'renots
omevirginalmaideninterrorofa
rampantmale,you'rejustsomeonewho'sreadytoclosethewholeworldoutasas
elf-inflictedpunishmentbecauseyoumadea
mistakealongtimeago.'
'Andhavinghundredsofrelationshipsisasbadashavingnone!Thetruthisthaty
ouenjoyedarompinthehayandnow
you'dquiteliketoenjoyacouplemore,henceyourapparentneedtoclimbintom
ymindandpointoutallthethingsyouthinkI'm
HISCONVINIENTMISTRESS
CATHYWILLIAMS
HARLEQUINPRESENTS2479
24
doingwrong!'Sheburnedatthememoryofhowgoodsexwithhimhadbeenandh
oweasyitwouldbetocarryonhoppingintobed
forjustaslongashewantedher,justtorepeatthegloriousfeelingshehadaroused
inher.Howeasyitwouldbetolethimintoherlife
andintoSimon's.'You'renotexactlytryingtounderstandmefromapurelyunbia
sedpointofview,areyou?'
Hiseyesnarrowedather.'Doyouknowwhatyouneed?'heasked,movingsoslo
wlytowardsherthatshecouldeasily
haveyankedopenthebedroomdoorandfleddownthestairs.However,herlegsa
ppearedtohaveturnedtoleadandshestoodjust
whereshewas,onlymanagingtoshuffleafewstepsbackwardsuntilherbackwa
spressedagainstthedoor.Hestoppedinchesaway
fromherandthenproceededtoplacetheflatofhispalmsoneithersideofher.'Yo
uneedtobeshakenintoseeingsense.'
Thethuddingofherheartbecameasteady,painfuldrumroll.
'Whydon'tyoustophidingawayandfacefacts?We'rebothadultswhohappento
beattractedtooneanother.
Overwhelminglyattracted,'headdedasanafterthought.Hetracedherbarearm
withhisfingerandsheshiveredconvulsively.'See?
Yourmouthmightbesayingonethingbutyourbodyistellingacompletelydiffer
entstory.Likemetoproveit?'
'No!'Sarasqueaked,mesmerisedbyhiseyes.
Insomeobscurepartofhisbrain,herealisedthatthiswashisonlytrumpcard.For
awhile,shehadabandonedtheholdher
pasthadonher,butalltheolddefenceswereback,exceptone.Shecouldn'tdefen
dherselfagainsthistouch.Hehadneverchaseda
womaninhislifebefore,but,dammit,hewaspreparedtodoanythingtochasethi
sone.Hedidn'tknowwhy.Hejustknewthatthere
wasaraw,primitiveurgeinhimthatwantedherbadly.
'You'rescaredofarelationshipandI'mnotinterestedinone,andmaybeyou'reri
ght,maybewebothhaveourreasons,so
youcouldsaythatourneedsmeetneatlyinthecentre.'Heloweredhisheadandou
tlinedhermouthwithhistongue.Shedidn't
respondbutneitherdidshedrawback.'Letgo,Sara.Wemakegoodsex
no,wemakemagnificentsex.Whynot?'Hepushedhimself
awayandsherealisedthatshehadbeenholdingherbreath."Thinkaboutit.I'llbe
gonebythetimeyougetbackwithSimon.'He
pausedatthedoortogiveherabriefnod.'I'llbeintouch.'
Thebarracudacirclingitsprey.Saraclosedhereyesbrieflyand,onceshehadhea
rdtheslamofthekitchendoor,wearily
headeddownthestairs.
CHAPTERSIX
Itwasrainingoutside.Nothingspectacular,justanincessantfinedrizzlethattur
nedtheLondonstreetsintoslipperygrey
grime.Jamespushedhimselfawayfromhisdeskandswivelledhischairrounds
othathewasstaringoutintothedarkeningskies.An
uninspiringview,butevenifhewenttothemassiveglasswindowsandlookeddo
wntheviewwouldbeequallyuninspiring.Bynow,
mostofthenine-to-
fiverswouldhavealreadyleftworkandthepavementswouldberelativelydeser
ted.TheCity,withitsmonuments
tofinancialsuccess,throngedwithpeopleduringthedaybutbynightitwascom
parativelyquiet.Onlythediehardswouldbestillat
workatalittleafternineatnight.
Diehardworkaholics,hethoughtgrimly,andme.Twoweeksagohewouldhave
classifiedhimselfasoneofthose
workaholics,butinthespaceofafortnighthisabilitytofunctionseemedtohavet
akenaknocking.Severaltimeshehadfound
himselfstaringattherowsoffiguresonhiscomputeronlytorealiseafterafewmi
nutesthathehadactuallynotbeentakinganything
inatall.
Liketonight.Fridaynight.Hewouldnormallyhavereviewedallthedetailsofthi
slatestmergerbynowandwouldbe
gettinggeareduptogoout,maybetoarestaurantoroneofthemorelow-
key,members-onlyjazzclubsthathefavoured,with
somethingdelectable,nubileandwilling.
Buthewasonlyhalfwaythroughhisreview
andhadalreadylostinterest.Asforthedelectable,nubile,willing
companion
Heclickedhistongueinirritationandbeganprowlingthroughhisspaciousoffic
e.
Thelastwomanhehadtakenoutfourdaysagohadbeenanunmitigateddisaster.
Shehadseemedquitesexyandvivacious
thelasttimehehadmetherthreemonthsagoatastunninglydullcocktailpartyho
stedbyoneofhisfriendsforaforeignambassador
withextensive,usefulconnections.Shehadflirtedoutrageouslywithhimandh
adbeensuitablypeevedwhenhehadtoldherthathe
would,regrettably,notbearoundtocontinuetheirflirtingbecausehewasduetof
lytoNewYorkthefollowingday,andthenonto
theFarEast.Hehadtakenhernumberandpromptlyforgottenallabouther.Until
fourdaysago,whentakingherouthadseemedan
inspiredidea.Delectable,nubileandwillinghadbeenjustwhatheneededtocom
batthedailyintrusiveimagesofatall,slenderredhairedwitchwhohadsenthimp
ackingandintheprocesslefthimnursingemotionsthatweredrivinghimcrazy.
Unfortunately,Annabelhadfailedtoachievewhathehadhopedshewould.Her
short,tight,sequinneddresshadscreamed
garishness,herall-
overtanhadaddedtotheimpressionandherconversationhadlefthimboredouto
fhisskull.
Backtotheproverbialdrawingboard,hethoughtgrimly.Buthewasn'tgoingtog
etintouchwithSara.Inthecoldlightof
day,hiswords,casuallyspokenbeforehehadheadedoutoftheRectory,hadbee
nexposedforwhattheywere.Apatheticplayfora
womanwhohadmadeitclearinnouncertaintermsthatshemighthavesleptwith
himonce,butbeyondthatshewasgoingnowhere.
Atleastshehadbeenhonestenoughnottofallbackonthetiredexcuseabouthavi
nghadtoomuchtodrink,buthecouldn'tstopthe
nagging,unpleasantsuspicionthatseveralglassesofwinehadplayedabiggerp
artthanhecaredtoadmit.
Hewassoabsorbedinfrowningcontemplationthatittookafewsecondsforthes
oundofthetelephonetoconnectwithhis
brain,thenforhishandtoconnectwiththereceiver.
Theminuteheheardhervoice,hefrozebeforeslowlyturningaroundsothatheco
uldperchontheedgeofhisdeskand
lookoutsideatthedarkeningsky.
'AndtowhatdoIowethepleasureofthiscall?'Hisvoicewascold,uninviting.
Hundredsofmilesaway,Sarahearditwithouttheslightesttremorofapprehensi
on.
'I'msogladIgotthrough.Ithoughtperhapsyoumighthavegoneoutasit'sFriday
night.'
Whichonlyremindedhimwhypreciselyhehadn'tgoneout.Hislipsthinnedwit
hangryself-disgust.
'Cutthepleasantries,Sara,andgettothepoint.Whyhaveyoucalledandwhatdoy
ouwant?'
Gettothepoint?Saranearlylaughed.Oh,yes,she'dgettothepoint,allright,inher
ownsweettime.
'AndthankyousomuchforaskinghowIam,James.Aswellascanbeexpected,n
owthatyoudon'tmentionit.'
'Howdidyougetholdofmymobilenumber?'
'Oh,Iaskedyourmother.ItoldherthatSimonwantedsomethingfromHarrodsa
ndIwantedyoutoseewhetheryoucould
bringitupforhimthenexttimeyoucame.'
'AndIamsupposedtowhat?Inresponsetothat?Feelasuddensurgeofcuriosit
y?Admireyouforyourinventiveness?
Justsaywhatyouhavetosayandgetoffthisline.I'monmywayoutandIdon'thav
etimetostandherehavingaconversationwith
HISCONVINIENTMISTRESS
CATHYWILLIAMS
HARLEQUINPRESENTS2479
25
you.'Inwhichcase,hethoughtcynically,whydoInotsimplyhangup?Rageandf
rustrationwashedoverhimandhefoundthathe
wasstillgrippingthereceiver.
'Idon'texpectadmirationformyinventiveness,butthesurgeofcuriositymightb
enice.IphonedbecauseIwantedtohear
yourvoice,becauseIwanttoseeyou,James.'
'Youwanttoseeme.Wouldthatbesothatwecanhaveare-
runofourlastconversation?Youdorememberourlast
conversation,don'tyou?Theonewhenyoutoldmetoleave?'Hefoundthathewa
sprowlingtheofficewiththephone,likeananimal
inacage.Heevenfeltlikeananimal,awashwithprimitivefeelingsthathecouldn
'tseemtodecipher.
'Irememberit.I'vethoughtaboutit.I'vedonenothingbutthinkaboutit'Notqui
tetrue.Shehadhadoneortwoother
thingsonhermindverywell.Justaswellhecouldn'tseeintohermind,justaswell
hecouldn'tseewhatwasreallygoingoninside
her,underneaththecontrolled,smokyvoicewithjusttherightmixtureofapolog
y,seriousnessandinvitation.
ButGod,ithurttohearhim.Hurtineveryporeofherbody,inplacesshenevereve
nknewexisted.Andtothinkshehad
onceconsideredPhilliptheonlymancapableofdeliveringpain!Whathehaddel
iveredhadbeenabouquetofflowersincomparison.
'I'vespenthoursjustremembering,James.Thewaywelaughedtogether,thewa
yyoumademefeel'Thewayyouused
me.
ThebittermemoryofherconversationwithLucyCampbellroseupinsidehermi
ndlikeamonster.
'So,'thesmallblondehaddrawledwithamaliciouslittlesmileplayingonherlov
elymouth,'IhearyouandJames
Dalgleishcan'tkeepyourhandsoffoneanother'
Sarahadbumpedintoherpurelybyaccidentthedaybeforeand,fromthepositio
nofnotknowingherfromAdam,was
rapidlymadeawareofpreciselywhoshewas,howlongshehadknowntheDalgl
eishfamily,andwhereherambitionslay.Very
definitelyinthedirectionofsex,marriageandbabies.
'Thenyoursourceofinformationneedstobrushuponherspyingskills.'ButSara
flushedguiltilyatthememoryofthemin
bedtogether,makinglovewithfierce,explosiveurgency.Shehaddonewhatsh
ehadneededtodo,butallshecoulddowas
remember.Hewasstillwithher.
'Really?'Lucy'smouthcurvedintoawell-
bredsmileofamusement.'Ishouldn'tbothergettingmyhopesupifIwereyou,'
shemusedthoughtfully.'Jamesisnotopentobeingcaught,especiallybyyou.'
'I'mnottryingtocatchanyone'
'Idon'tsupposehetoldyou'Onefineeyebrowwasarchedspeculatively.'No
ofcoursehewouldn'thave.Noonecan
saythatheisn'tclever'
'Toldmewhat?'
'Whyhe'stakingsuchaninterestinyou.Goodheavens,Jamescouldhavehispic
kofanywoman,anywhere.Sowhy
you?'
'Idon'thavetolistentothis.'
'No,youdon't,but'Lucyshruggedwithjusttherightamountofinsolentindiff
erencetoforestallSara'sdecisiontowalk
away.'IwouldifIwereyou.Infact,you'llprobablythankmeafterwards'
'Idoubtthat.'Butstillshewavered.
'Oh,Iwouldn'tbankonit.Forsomeonewho'ssupposedtobesmart,andbelievem
eI'vealreadyheardallaboutyourbig,
powerfuljobinLondon,you'reincrediblytrusting.Imean,doyoureallyimagin
ethatJamesDalgleish,amanwhocouldhaveliterally
anyone,wouldbeinterestedinyouiftherewasn'tamotive?'
'Motive?Whatareyoutalkingabout?'
'TheRectory,ofcourse.Hasn'thementionedittoyou?Thathewantstogethisha
ndsonyourhouse?Haswantedthat
placeforyears?Imustsay,darling,thatIhavetotakemyhatofftohim.Whatbette
rwaytogetwhathewantsthantosleepwiththe
womanwhoownsit?Somucheasiertopersuadesomeonetodowhatyouwantth
emtodowhenyou'relovers,wouldn'tyousay?'She
lookedatSarawithasmirk.'See?Now,haven'tIdoneyouafavour?'
Saradraggedherselfbacktothepresentandthetaskthatlaybeforeher.
Revenge.
Andwhynot?Whythehellnot?Shehadbeenusedandshewasn'tgoingtoslinka
wayandlickherwoundsinprivate.
Philliphadbeenadisaster,butJames
Herstomachclenchedatthedevastationhehadmanagedtowreak.Andhehadm
anageditbecauseshehadbeenafool,
simpleasthat.Shehadallowedherselftotrust,tofeel,toopenuptohimandhehad
playedonhertrusttogetalittleclosertowhathe
hadwanted.Andithadnotbeenher.
Shefoundthatherfingerswerewhite,clenchedaroundthetelephonecord,hern
ailsbitingintothesoftfleshofherpalm.
Sheforcedherselftorelax.Butitwassohard,becauseevennow,knowingitall,k
nowinghimforthekindofmanhewas,thatdeep,
sexyvoicewasstillmanagingtopiercethroughherlikeaknife.
'Haven'tyouthoughtaboutusatall?'
'Atripdownmemorylane,Sara?'Butdammit,yes,heremembered.Alltooclear
ly.
'Ihaven'tsleptsinceyouleft,James'Andshehadn't.Shehadn'tslept,function
ed,barelyeaten.Shehadbeeninpain.
AndthenwhenshehadmetLucy,hadrealisedwhatwasgoingon,shestillhadn'ts
lept,andthepainwasstillthere,thepainof
knowingthatshehadbeenmanipulatedbyamanshehadfinallyseenasafarcryfr
omPhillip.
'Thisisapointlessconversation.'Butstillhecouldn'treplacethereceiverandhec
ouldhearahuskyshakinessinhisvoice
thatmadehimwanttohurlsomethingveryheavystraightthroughthewindow.
'Rememberhowgoodwewereinbed?Yousaidsoyourselfandyouwereright.
Wemadeloveanditwasneverlikethat
forme.Never.'Thetruthofthatacknowledgmentmadehereyeshurtwithunshe
dtears.Shedrew inherbreathandcontinued
speakingbuthervoicewaswobbly.'Thewayyoutouchedmetheplacesthaty
outouchedIfeltalive.Whenyoukissedme,Ifelt
asthoughIwasonfireandthenwhenyoukissedotherpartsofme,Jamesmy
breasts,mynipples,mystomach'
'Justgoodsex.Ibelievethatwastheconclusionyouarrivedat.'Hewashavingdif
ficultythinkingclearly.Herwordswere
evocativeandhervoicefilledhisheadlikeincense.
'AndIthoughtthatgoodsexwasnotareasonforcarryingonwitharelationship
'Imagesofhimassaultedeverycorner
ofhermind.
Goodsex.Ameetingoftwobodies,butlord,somuchmorethanthat.Forher.
HISCONVINIENTMISTRESS
CATHYWILLIAMS
HARLEQUINPRESENTS2479
26
Shehadsenthimonhisway,yes,andhehadsupposedlywalkedoutofherlifetwo
weeksago,butshecouldseenow,
throughheranguishanddisillusionment,thathewouldhavere-
entereditsoonenough.Hewasacleverandexperiencedmanandone
withamission.Hewouldsimplyhavebankedonherattractiontohimtorailroadt
hroughherdefences.Andthenwhenthetimewas
right,hewouldhavebeguntalkingtoherabouttheRectory,allowinghisabilityt
omakelovetoovercomeherquestions.
Justyourememberthat,Saratoldherselfbitterly.
'I'mhereinLondonforacoupleofdays,'shesaid,scentingherwordswithpromis
e.'Ihavetosortoutarrangementswith
myflat.Routinestuff.Ireallywouldlovetomeetupwithyou.I'mstayinginahote
linKensington,actually,soI'mquitecentraland
wecouldtalk'
'AndyouthinkIshouldmaketimeforyou?'
'Yes,yes,Ido.IdentedyouregothelasttimewemetandIwouldliketomakeupfor
that'Sheverynearlysaidthatshe
hadhurthim,butofcoursehewouldn'thavebeenhurtbyherrejection.Justtempo
rarilyfrustrateduntilhefeltthetimewasrightto
pounceagain.
'Oh,really?Andhowdoyouintendtomakeupforthat?'Adentedegowassometh
inghecoulddealwith.Hementally
beganaprocessofdamagelimitationbytellinghimselfthatthatwasreallyallthe
rewastoit.Thatthehurtandangerhehadfeltwas
justareflectionofamanaccustomedtohavingeverythingbeingdeniedsomethi
ng.
'Iwouldverymuchliketobuyyoudinner.Younametherestaurant.I'mhereonm
yown,sothere'llbenoneedformeto
rushbacktomyroom'Shepurposefullydroppedhervoiceacoupleofnotches
lower.'Notthatit'sthatmuchofaroom,tobe
honest.Justadressingtableandachestofdrawersandabathroomand,ofcourse,
abed'
Wasshedoingthisonpurpose?Jamesthought,stiflinghissuddenurgetogroan.
Hehadnotseenherasanout-and-outflirt
beforebuteithershewasgenuinelynaveinnotknowingthatafewchoicewords
couldsendaman'spulsesrocketing,orelseshewas
blatantlyofferinghimherselfandthethoughtofthatturnedhimonasnothi
ngonthisgreenplaneteverhadinhislifebefore.
'IwasgoingtobringSimonwithme,'shewassaying,althoughhewasonlydimly
awareofhervoicebecausehismindhad
takenoffonatangentandheseemedincapableofreiningitbackin,'butyourmum
saidthatshewouldlovenothingbetterthanto
havehimstaywithher.Idon'tknowifshetoldyou,buthe'sbeenoverthereacoupl
eoftimestoplaywiththetrainset.He'snever
hadatrainsetofhisown;itjustwasn'tpossibleintheflatinLondon.Anyway,Iwo
uldliketoseeyou,James.Ofcourse,ifyoudon't
havetime'
Hewouldhavetimethough.Shewassureofit.Withacynicismshehadnotthoug
htherselfcapableof,shereflectedthat
hestillwantedtheRectory.Thebaitwasdanglingveryclosetohim.Shewassure
hewouldgrabit,butjustincase
'Ithinkitmakessense,though,don'tyou,James?Weshouldbeonspeakingterm
s,consideringwe'llprobablybumpinto
oneanotherwheneveryouhappentobeinScotland.It'sasmallplaceandiftongu
eswaggedwhenwehadthatonesillykiss'she
laughedthroatily'well,they'llbewaggingevenmoreifyoushowupandinsist
onwalkingpastmeonthestreetwithoutsayinga
word'
Thelifelineofcoldrationalityrescuedhimfromhiswarringpride.
Herelaxedfractionallyandmovedtositbackdowninhisswivelchair.
'Sowemeetupanddiscusswhat?Politics?Theweather?Worldpoverty?'
'WemeetupanddiscusswhatafoolIwas'Saraallowedherselftopausewhileh
ermindracedaheadtoherown
conclusions,thatshehadindeedbeenafool
tohaveinvolvedherselfwithhiminthefirstplace'tothinkthatIcouldsaygood
bye
toyouandwalkawayunscathed'Truthwascleverlyintermingledwithlies.S
hewouldneverhaveimaginedinathousandyearsthat
shewouldbecapableofacold-
bloodedgameofrevenge,buttherewasaknifetwistinginhergutthatmadeitmu
cheasierthanshe
mighthavethoughtpossible.
Hestillwantedherhouse.Hewouldcome.Andshewouldsleepwithhimbecaus
esheenjoyedit.Shewouldtakewhathe
hadtoofferherinsteadofsqueezingshutherlegsandtalkingaboutprinciples,an
dwhenshewasfinishedshewoulddumphim,but
notuntilshehadinformedhiminnouncertaintermsthatshehadknownfromthe
wordgowhatgamehehadbeenplayingandthanks
forthegoodtimebutthehousewasstayinginherpossession.
'Also,'Saramurmuredconvincingly,'Simonisfondofyourmother.Ifyoudecid
ethatyouwanttohavenothingtodowith
me,thenitmightbeawkwardforthemboth'
'Well,whynot?'Jamesdrawled.Hehadadinnerengagementthefollowingnigh
twithaclient,butitwouldn'tbeaproblem
toeitherdeferthatorelseletRayCoopercoverforhim.'Ifkeepingupappearance
smeansthatmuchtoyou.'Hisvoicewaslazy,
bored,indifferent,buthecouldn'thelphimselffrom
feelingacertainbroodingexcitementatthethoughtofseeingheragain.An
irresistibleweakness.
'Wherewouldyouliketogo?'
'Ican'tsaythatIreallycareonewayortheotherandIhaven'tgottimenowtodebat
esuchanirrelevance.AsIsaid,I'mon
mywayout.'
'Inwhichcase,IknowanexcellentItalianrestaurant.LaTaverna'Overplayin
ghercaseatthispointwouldn'tbeagood
idea.Hewasamanofformidableprideandshehaddentedit.Shedidn'tneedhimt
owalkawayfromherinvitation.
'Right.'
'It'sinChelsea.JustofftheKing'sRoadasamatteroffact.Quiteinformal.'
'Right.I'llbethereatseven-thirty,eventhoughthischaradeleavesmecold.'
'Seven-
thirty.'Sarafilledhervoicewithbubblingpleasure.'Can'twait,James'
Shespentthefollowingdayinastateofbarelysuppressedexcitementunderline
dwithgrimdeterminationtoseethisplan
through.
Shehadarrangedtomeetthreeofherfriendsforlunch,hadenvisagedafun,gossi
pyandbondingcoupleofhourswith
thembutwasbitterlydisappointed.Hermindwastoofullofwhatlayaheadinafe
whours'timeandshehadmovedawayfromribald
talesofofficepolitics,promotionsintheoffingandprospectivebonuses.
Hadthisbeenwhatithadbeenallaboutforheraswell?Thefeverishplanstomake
evenmoremoney?Therestricted
lunchbreaksandlongworkinghourssothatshecouldaffordthenannyandthem
ortgageandthelifestylethatshehadusuallybeen
tooexhaustedtoappreciate?
Itniggledatthebackofhermindandsherealised,withanotherfamiliarspurtofp
ain,thattheseweretheverythingsshe
wouldhavewantedtotalktoJamesabout.Shewouldhaveenjoyednothingmore
thantosoundhimoutaboutwhatshewasfeeling.
Andshewouldhavedonealifetimeago.
HISCONVINIENTMISTRESS
CATHYWILLIAMS
HARLEQUINPRESENTS2479
27
Now,though
Shegotdressedveryslowlyforaneveningseducingtheenemy.
Shewaswearingashortcreamsilkskirtthatfloatedsexilyaroundherthighsande
xposedherlonglegstotheabsolute
maximum.Afigure-huggingcream
topwithsleevestotheelbowsthatjusthitherwaistline,leavingatantalisingglim
pseofskin
whenevershemoved.Highshoesthatemphasisedherheight.Hairlooselycurli
ngdownherback.
Halfofherhopedthathewouldalreadybeattherestaurant,waitingforher,sothat
hecouldbeaffordedthefullimpactof
herwalkingslowlytowardshim.Theotherhalfhopedthatshewouldbethefirstt
oarrivesothatshecouldhavealittletimetogether
thoughtstogetherbeforeshelaideyesonhim.
Planornoplan,shewasn'tacompleteidiot.
Sheknewthatjustseeinghimforthefirsttimeintwoweekswasgoingtohaveane
ffectonher.Shemightbebitterlyhurt
athistreatment,andthatalonewouldbeenoughtogiveherthecouragesheneede
dtodowhatshewantedtodo.Butshewouldalso
havehisdisturbingsexualitytocontendwithaswell.Shewouldhavetowithstan
dthoseamazingeyesonherface,hearthatvoicethat
couldsendelectriccurrentsracingalongherspine,watchthesensuouscurveofh
ismouth.
Hewastherebythetimeshearrived,waitingforher.
Sarasawhimassoonasshewalkedintotherestaurant.Indolentlyloungingonhi
schairrightattheback,cradlingadrink
inhishand.
God,buthelookedrightathomehere.Swarthy,black-
haired,soferociouslygood-lookingthatshegaveasmallgasp.She
couldn'thelpit.
Shewantedhiseyestotravelthelengthofher,butasshewalkedtowardshim
shestillfelthorriblyandacutelyselfconscious.
Fortunatelyitdidn'tshowinhervoicewhenshefinallymadeittothetableandwa
sstandinglookingdownathim.
'Haven'tbeenwaitinglong,haveyou?'Shesmiled.Panic,miseryandacertaina
mountoftreacherouselationrushed
throughher.Shetookhertimetositdown.'Iwouldhavegotherealittlesooner,bu
tthetrafficwasabsolutelyfoul.It'ssoeasyto
forgethowmadthingsaredownherecomparedtoScotland,isn'tit?'
'Whatareyoudrinking?'
Ifhewastryingtoimplyuninterest,thenhewassucceeding.Saraleanedforward
,elbowsonthetable,andsmiledathim.
Noresponse.
'Wine,Ithink.Whathaveyougotthere?'
'Whisky.'Heswallowedamouthfulandcontinuedtolookathercoldly.
'Shallweshareabottleofwhitewine?Ineedsomethingcold.It'ssowarmoutther
e.Ican'trememberasummerlikethisin
years.'
'Ah,theweather.'Hismouthcurledintoahumourlesssmile.'Favouritestandby
ofpeoplestrugglingforconversation.'He
leanedforwardandSarafeltthefullforceofhismasculinitylikeaphysicalblow.
'I'mnotstrugglingforconversation,James,I'mattemptingtomakesome.'Thew
aitercameandtherewastemporaryrelief
fromtheeffecthewashavingonherashescannedthewinelistandorderedabottl
eofChablis.
'AndwhoamItothwartyourefforts?So,theweather.IsitstillsunnyinScotland?
Orhavetherebeenafewshowers?'
'Don't.'
'Don'twhat?'
'Befacetious.'
'Youforget,thiswasyoursplendididea.Tomeetupsothatwecouldchatliketwo
sensibleadultsandsmooththepathfor
aworkablerelationshipshouldweeverhappentomeetwhenI'mnextupthere.'
'Whathaveyoubeendoingsincewelastsawoneanother?'
'Havewefinishedwiththeweather?'
Thewinearrived,waspoured,andSaradrankmostofherglassinthespaceofafe
wseconds.
Wherewasallthecharm?shethoughtacidly.Nowthathisplanshadbeenscuppe
red,didhenotseeanyfurtherpointin
tryingtoexpendanyonher?
'I'vefinallybeenmeetingafewpeople.'Shetwirledthewineglassinonehandan
dproppedherchininthepalmofthe
other.'Fionahasbeenwonderful.Askingusoverfortea,introducingSimontoso
meoftheotherchildren,introducingmetosomeof
herfriends.IjustwishIcouldhavebeenabletogetintoitalittlebitmore'
'Atwhichpoint,'heleanedforwardaswellsothatthedistancebetweenthemwas
narrowedtothepointwheregiddiness
tookover,'IexpectIamtoaskyouwhatyoumeanbythatremark'
'What'sthepointmakingthingsdifficultbetweenus?'
'Youneedtoaskthatquestion?'
Thiswashowhehaddoneit,ofcourse.Thatwayhehadoffocusingabsolutelyan
dentirelyonher.Evennow,whenevery
poreofhimbreathedhostility,hecouldstillmakeherfeelsickwithself-
awareness.HehadamaleaggressionthatmadePhillipseem
likeaboyincomparison.
'We'readults.Adultsmakemistakes.I'vealreadyconfessedtomakingone,totur
ningyouaway'
'Somethingnowomanhaseverdone.'Heknewhowhesounded.Bloodypetulan
t.Hecouldhavekickedhimselfbutthe
wordswereoutbeforehecouldretractthem.
'AndI'veneverhadaone-
nightstandinmylife.'Shewatched,gratefully,asthewaiterpouredheranotherg
lassofwine
andwasawareofthemorderingfood,butonlyjust.'Haveyoumissedme?'
Jamesfelthimselfflushdarkly.'IthinkIpreferconversingabouttheweather,'he
drawled,noticingthedelicateflushthat
invadedhercheeksathisresponse.'AstowhatIhavebeendoing'Hesatback,g
ivinghimselfsomebreathingspace.Thedirectness
ofherquestionhadrattledhim.Ifhehadtriedtoanswerthatone,hewascertaintha
tshewouldhavebeenabletogleanthetruthfrom
hisexpression.'Working.'
'Allworkandnoplay'
'MakesJamesadullboy?'Theyweremakingshortworkofthiswine,hethoughta
ndhewasnettledbytheadmissionto
himselfthathefeltasifheneededit.Whatthehellwashedoinghere?
'Hardlydull,fromwhatIremember'
HISCONVINIENTMISTRESS
CATHYWILLIAMS
HARLEQUINPRESENTS2479
28
'Howismymother?'heaskedheavily.Hehadorderedsomekindoffish,whicha
ppearedtohavenowbeenplacedinfront
ofhimandlookeddelicious,althoughtheconsumptionoffoodwasthelastthing
onhismind.
'Fine.Enjoyingtheweatherandthegardens,youknow'
'AndSimon?'Itwasastruggletokeeptheconversationlow-
keyandnormalbuthehadto.Hehadtostayincontrol
because,againsteverysensibleboneinhisbody,hewasrespondingtoher,towh
ateverdanceshewasleadinghim,anditenraged
him.
'Simonisfine.Hehereallyenjoyslivingupthere.Ofcourse,I'vetoldhimthatt
heweatherhelpsandthatit'scompletely
differentinwinter,withthecoldandthesnow,butthatjustseemstogethimmore
excited.Wouldyoubelievehe'sneverseensnow?'
Sarabeganeating.Insteadofbeingcoollyincontrol,shefeltflusteredandvulner
able.Shehadtoremindherselfwhyshewashere,
whyshewashavingdinnerwiththisman
'No,Londonnevergetssnow,doesit?'Hegaveashort,derisivelaugh.'Andnow
wearebacktotheweather.'
No,we'renot,Sarathoughtfiercely.Wearenotgoingtorunaroundincircles,gett
ingnowhere.Iamnotgoingtoabortmy
planandletyougetawaywithusingme.Iwon'tbehurtbyyouandallowmyselfto
runaway.
Itwassotemptingtoaskhimwhy,toaskhimwhetherhehadfeltanythingforherat
all,thatshehadtolowerhereyesand
takeafewdeep,steadyingbreaths.
'Soweare.Silly,isn'tit?Whenthere'ssomuchelsetotalkabout.'
'Forinstance?'
'ForinstanceIcouldtellyouthatyoulookgood,thatI'dforgottenjusthowgoody
oulook.'Shequietlyclosedherknife
andfork,leavingherfoodunfinished,andmethiseyessteadily.
'Whatareyouplayingat?'Hepushedhisplateaway,depositedhisnapkinonitan
dsatback,staringather,willinghimself
togetagrip,knowingthatnothingwasshowingonhisfacebutthathisbloodyner
voussystemwasinastateofchaos.
'I'mtalking.'
'Talking.'
'That'sright.That'swhyIgotintouchwithyou.Sothatwecouldhaveaconversati
on,although'
'Althoughwhat?'heasked,hiswordsdroppingsoftlyintothesilencebetween
them.
'AlthoughIcanthinkofmuchmoreinterestingthingstodo'
CHAPTERSEVEN
'Oh,really?'
'Really.Tobeperfectlyhonest,Icouldhavehandledeverythingwithmybanker
andtheestateagentsbyphoneore-mail.
TherewasnorealneedtotraveldownheretoLondon,but'Thoseintentblueey
escouldmakeagirlthinkshewasdrowning,Sara
thought.
'Butyoujustcouldn'tresistthedesiretofeastyoureyesonmymagnificentself.'
'No,thatisn'tallthereistoit.Andit'srudetodrawattentiontoyourselflikethat.M
akesyousoundegotistic.Which,of
course,youare.'
Jamesglancedawaybutshecouldseethathewantedtosmileandthatlittleglimp
seofhumourmadeherheartcontract.
'SoIamrude,egotisticIcannotimaginewhyyouwouldmakeatriptoLondont
ocommunicatewithsomeonewiththose
personalitytraits.'
'Ireallydidwanttotalktoyou,James.Ireallydidthinkthatitwouldhavebeencraz
ytojustceasecommunication
completelywhenwe'regoingtoinevitablykeepbumpingintooneanother.And
youmayberudeandegotisticbutyou'realso
interestingandfairlyamusing.'
'Fairlyamusing.Well,we'resteppinguptheladderofcompliments.Nowthatyo
u'vehadyourwaytellingmewhatyou
thinkofme,Ifeelit'sonlyrightthatItellyouwhatIthinkofyou'
Alittleshiverofapprehensionraceddownherspine.Shedidn'twanthimtotellhe
ranythingofthesort.Shejustdidn't
needanymoreofhislies,anymorepretencethathewasinterestedenoughinhert
ohaveformedopinionsofheratall.
'Youlookalarmed,'hemurmured,lettinghiseyeswanderawayfrom
hers,tohermouth,toherbreasts.'Ithinkyou're
immenselycomplexandacompletemystery.Oneminuteyou'relecturingtome
likeaministeronapulpit,thenextminuteyou're
flirtingwithmeandinvitingmebackintoyourbed.Now,thatmakesnosense,do
esit?'
'Doesithaveto?'Saralaughedandtossedherhead.Shehadnevertossedherhead
inherlifebeforeandwassurprisedthat
thegestureseemedtocomesonaturally.'Womenareallowedtobeunpredictabl
e,aren'tthey?'Sherestedherheadonherhandand
gazedathimwithahalf-smile.
Unbelievably,shewasenjoyingthis.
'Ithoughtmenlovedunpredictabilityinwomen.Besides,ifI'mmysteriousandc
omplex,thenImustalsobeunpredictable.
Theygohandinhand.'
'Notallmenloveunpredictability.'Hedidn't.Itappeared,though,thatshewasth
eexceptionbecausethewayshewas
lookingathimnowwasmakinghissensesreelanditwasallhecoulddotokeephis
handsincheck.
'Youmeanyoudon't?'
'ImeanIshouldgetthebilland'
'And?'
Shecouldsensethewaryrestlessnessinhimandonthespurofthemomentsherea
chedoutherhandandcoveredhis,
very,verylightlyandvery,verybriefly,justlongenoughtostrokethesideofhist
humbwithherfinger.Thenherhandwasbackin
placeandburning.Hispoweroverhercouldthreateneverything,butshewouldn
'tletit.
'You'reskatingonthinice,Sara.'Herakedhisfingersthroughhishair,buthiseye
sneverleftherface,notforonesingle
second.
'Caretoexplain?'
'WhatifIdecidetotakeyouuponyourverygenerousoffer?Areyoureallygoingt
ofeelanydifferentlyaboutmeifwe
sleeptogetheragain?Andagainafterthat?AmInotstillgoingtobethebig,badw
olfwhoshouldkeepawayfromyourdoor?'
'It'sallaquestionofchoices,isn'tit?'
'Choices?'
HISCONVINIENTMISTRESS
CATHYWILLIAMS
HARLEQUINPRESENTS2479
29
'Icanchoosetoforeseethedifficultiesandwalkawaybeforetheyarise,orIcanch
oosetorunheadlongintowhateverlies
aheadandrealisethatexperience,whatevertheoutcome,countsforalot.'Toom
uchtalkandtoomuchtruth.Shesmiledseductively.
Anotherlittletalentshedidn'tknowshepossessed.Whateverthismanbroughto
utinher,hewasunique.'Ichoosethelatter.'
Whothehellwashetotalkaboutskatingonthinicewhenhecouldbarelythinkstr
aightwiththosefelineeyeslookingat
him?
Thecirculartableseparatingthemwassmallborderingontinyandhehadtofight
thetemptationtoslouchslightlyfurther
downintohischair,justfarenoughsothathecouldinserthisthighunderneaththa
tveryshort,verysexyskirtofhers.Feelthe
softnessofhercrotchagainstthehardnessofhisknee.God,hewantedher.
'Idon'tthinkthisistheplacetohaveaprolongedconversation,though'Shewa
sunawarethattheloweringofhereyelids
andtheflickofhertongueoverherlipswasaseroticasastriptease.
'Where,'heheardhimselfsaying,'doyouhaveinmind,inthatcase?'
Sarashruggedandlookeddownasshecasuallytracedtherimofherglasswithon
efinger.'Anysuggestions?'
Several,heknew
heshouldsay,andallinvolvetwominutesontheendofaphonewhileyou'rehead
ingbackupto
ScotlandandI'mhere,working,goingoutwithwomenIcanpredictandgettingo
nwithlifebeforeyoucamealongandmanagedto
clutteritup.Hewasascynicalastheycame!Jadedfromexperienceandpermane
ntlywatchfulofthedangersoflosinghismassive
self-control.
Hesignalledtoawaiterforthebill.
Saracouldseethequestionsracingthroughthatcleverbrainofhis.Buthisquesti
onsdidn'tmatter.Hewasgoingtopaythe
bill,nodessert,nocoffees,nochattingoverliqueurs,andthatcouldonlymeanon
ething.Hewasgoingtocomewithher.Shefelta
kickofsatisfactionand,hardontheheelsofthat,arushofundiluted,nakedlongin
g.
Thiswasgoingtobealearningcurveforher,shethoughtalittlewildly.Shecould
n'tgothroughlifechoosingmenwho
thoughtnothingofpullingtherugoutfromunderherfeet.Shewouldtoughenup
andifitwasathisexpensethenthatwasjusttoo
bad.Hedeservedeverythinghegot.
Knowingwhatshenowknew,sheshouldhavebeenleftcoldbyhim,buttheminu
teshehadlaideyesonhimshehadfelt
herbodybegintoreact,andashepaidthebill,ignoringherinsistenceonpayingh
alf,shefeltthelickofexcitementsteadilygetting
stronger.
Thesilencebetweenthemwaselectric.Aswasthefactthathedidn'ttouchher.On
ceoutsidetherestaurant,heshovedhis
handsinhispockets,onlywithdrawingonetohailablackcab.Heleaneddown,g
avethedriveranaddressinChelsea,andoncethey
werebothinsidehesprawledagainsthissideofthecarsothathecouldlookather.
'So,areyougoingtotellmewhatbroughtaboutthischangeofheart?'
'Ialreadytoldyou,'Sarasaid,takingquickbreaths,'Ithoughtthingsoverand,wel
lyouwereright.It'scrazytogo
throughlifebeingaffectedbywhatPhillipdid.We'readultsandwewere'Shes
ighedwithrememberedpleasureandthatsighhad
nothingtodowithrevengeorbitterness.
'Goodtogetherinbed?Fantastic,infact?'
Sararaisedhereyebrowsinunexpectedamusement.'IthinkIcanhearyouregoa
gain.'
'Tut,tut.Now,that'snotveryniceconsideringyou'retheseductresstryingtowoo
mebackbetweenthesheets,isit?'His
deep,velvetyvoicecaughtheramusementandsharedit.Itgaveheranuneasypre
monitionofhowsimpleitwouldbetofallright
backintothetrapofopeninguptohim,becauseonaverybasiclevelshejustseem
edtoclickwithhim.
'I'veneverbeencalledaseductressbefore.'Uneasypremonitionsdidn'thaveap
arttoplay.
'Mm.Icanunderstandwhy.Brutalhonestyisn'tusuallythemarkoftheseductres
s.'
Hisvoicewaswickedlysmoothandshedaredtoextendherhandsothatitwasrest
inglightlyonhisthigh.
'Blamemyjob,'Saramurmured,herpulsesleapingatthecasualphysicalcontact
.'Beingbrutallyhonestbecomesahabit
afterawhile.Doesitscareyou?'Shemovedherhandfractionallyhigherandwas
almostdisappointedwhenhecovereditfirmlywith
hisownbeforeshecouldtakeherexplorationsfurther.
'Oh,Idon'tscareeasily.Not,'headdedinadrawl,'thatyouwon'thavetouseotherf
emininewilestotemptme'
'Otherfemininewilessuchaswhat?'Wasthisreallyhertalking?Flirtingoutra
geouslyandlovingeveryminuteofit?
Goodlord.
Hisresponsetothatwastoremovehishandfromwhereithadbeencoveringhers.
Sarathoughtthatifshelistenedhard
enoughshemightjustbeabletohearthewildbeatofherheartandtheleapofherpu
lsesassheedgedherhandhigheruntilitlayover
thehardrodofhiserection,whichshecouldfeelthrobbingbeneaththefabricofh
istrousers.
Heshiftedslightly.'Now,ifI'dhadmydriverImightjusthaveaskedyoutotakey
ourtechniquealittlefurther.'Hecould
almostsmellthemuskyaromaofherexcitement,fillinghisnostrilsandmaking
himwanttounziphistrousersandpushherhand
harderagainsthim.
'Butregrettably,'hesaidroughly,'nodriverandwe'rejustabouthereatmyapart
ment.'Oncue,thetaxisloweddownand
Sara'spulseratereturnedtosomethingapproachingnormalityassheslippedout
ofthecabandwatchedwithherarmsfoldedacross
herashepaidthefareandthenturnedtolookather.
'Thistime,'hemurmured,walkinguptoherandpositioninghimselfdirectlyinfr
ontofherwithhislegsslightlyparted,'no
turningback.Ifyouthinkyou'regoingtosufferwithagoniesofconscienceafter
wards,orevenbeforeforthatmatter,thenyoucan
leaveinthenextcab.Thisisn'tgoingtobeaone-nightstand.'
'Youmeanyouwantanaffair.'
'Ifyouwanttocallitthat.'
'Whatelsecanwecallit?'
'Wecancallitwhateverwewantto,'heinformedhersilkily,'afterall,it'sjustamat
terofvocabulary.Butwebothknow
whatwe'retalkingabout.'
'Whataboutarelationship,then?'Sarathrewathim.Sheknewthathewouldn'tli
ketheideaofthat,forallhistalkaboutit
justbeingamatterofvocabulary.Anaffairwassomethingfrothyandlightthatdi
ssolvedinapuffofwind,butarelationshipwas
somethingmorethanthatand,consideringthathehadhisownhiddenagendafor
sleepingwithher,thengoingbeyondabitoffroth
wouldnotbesomethinghewouldevencontemplateforaminute.Oh,no,thatwo
uldbejustalittletoomuchlikehardworkforhim.
'Idon'thaveaproblemwiththat,'hesurprisedherbysaying.Inthedimpoolofligh
treflectedfromtheneareststreetlamp,
hecouldseeherstartledexpression.Shewasn'tinterestedinarelationship,heth
ought.Nevermindwhatshesaidaboutmovingaway
HISCONVINIENTMISTRESS
CATHYWILLIAMS
HARLEQUINPRESENTS2479
30
fromherpast,shewasstillastrappedinitassheeverwas.Hefeltasudden,searing
determinationtosnapheroutofit,focusher
entirelyonhim,asaloverandasamanaswell.
'Feelingalittlescaredatthethoughtofgettingtoknowme,Sara?'hemurmuredm
ockinglyandshetiltedherchinup
defensively.
'Notatall,'shelied.
'Good,soshallwegouptomyapartment?Idon'tknowaboutyou,butit'salittleto
ochillytostandoutheredebating
pointsofdetail.'
Thebuildingwassevereandimposingfrom
theoutside.Thewhitefaadewasbrokenbyintricateblackwrought-iron
railingsaroundthelongwindows,andapartfromafewwindow-
boxestherewasatotalabsenceofgreen.Itwasasdifferentfromhis
mansioninScotlandasitwaspossibletoget.Somehowitsummarisedthelifein
Londonthathadwovensuchamagicalspelloverher
whenshehadleftitbehind,butwhich,nowthatshewasinitoncemoreevenifonly
foracoupleofdays,wasalreadybeginningto
impingeuncomfortablyonher.
Twoofthefour-
storeyedbuildingshadobviouslybeencleverlyknockedintoonesothattherece
ptionareawasnotasmall
hallway,leadinguptoasinglestaircase,butalargecentralarea,impeccablytiled
,andatoneendtherewasasmallwalnutdesk
mannedbyauniformedmiddle-
agedmanwhohalfstoodwhenJameswalkedin.
'Ithoughtyou'dgivenupthenightshift,'Jamessaid,grinningashecollectedhis
mail.
'Ihad,sir.'Theweatheredfacereturnedthegrin.'ButthenIdiscoveredthatitbeat
sbeingathomewiththewife,the
mother-in-law,thedaughterandthelittlenipper.Soonasthemother-in-
lawgoesbacktoOzandGaryfinishesthehouserepairsso
thatEllieandlittleTommycanmovein,thenI'lltakebackupmydaypost.Beable
towatchalittlenight-timetellyinpeaceand
quiet.'
'AndIguessyouspendalldaysleeping?'Jamesraisedhiseyebrowsandtappedth
ewadofpostagainsttheopenpalmof
onehand.
'Notall,sir.There'salimittowhatthewifewilltolerate.'
Jameswasstillgrinningastheelevatordoorpurredshutonthem.'He'saninstituti
onhere,'heexplainedwithadevastating
smile.'BeenhereaslongasIhave.'
'Whichishowlong,exactly?'Saraaskedcuriously.
'Almostsixyears.BeforethatIhadamewshouseinRichmondbutthisisahelluv
alotmoreconvenientforcentral
London.'
'Andnotroublesomegardentotakecareof.'
'Andnotroublesomegardentotakecareof,'heagreed,standingbacktoallowher
toexitfirst.'Ipresumethatwasyour
reasonforanapartmentaswell?'
'Yes,'sheadmitted,'althoughwithachild,agardenwouldhavebeenideal.ButIj
ustwouldneverhavehadthetimeto
lookafteritanditwouldhavebeentoosmallincentralLondon,anyway,toemplo
ytheuseofagardener.'
'Soyouwentfromoneextremetotheother.'
'Simonadoresit.'Sheshrugged,watchinghimashesmoothlyunlockedhisdoor
andpusheditopen,automaticallyturning
todeactivatehisalarm.
'Andyou?'
Sarapretendedtoignorethequestion.Itwasn'tdifficult.Hehadswitchedontheli
ghtandshewasquiteliterallyspeechless
atwhatshesaw.Acresofspace.AcresofspaceforaLondonapartmentatanyrate
.Shallowstairsledawayfromthedooranddown
toasuperbsunkensittingareawhichroseononesidetogiveanopenviewofyetan
othersittingarea,lessformal,withatelevisionset
atoneendandalongsidethatadeskwithacomplexarrayofofficeequipment.On
theotherside,thesunkenarealeduptoaspacious
diningareaandbeyondthatthekitchen,whichwas,unheardofinaLondonflat,l
argeenoughtohouseakitchentableaswellasall
theusualculinaryparaphernalia.Alongcounter,toppedwithblackgranite,sep
aratedthekitchenfromthediningarea,butasidefrom
thatonedivisiontheeyecouldtravelthewidthoftheroomwithoutbeingobstruct
edbyanydoors.Andthegleamingwoodenflooring
emphasisedtheillusionofvastspace.
Stretchingbehindwerethedoorsthatledtothebedroomsandbathrooms.Itwase
legantbutunderstated,asonlytrulyvery
expensiveplaceswere.Thepaintingsonthewallsweresmall,discreetandvagu
elyfamiliar.
'AndIthoughtthatmyapartmentwasluxurious,'shecommenteddrily,stepping
tentativelydownthestairstothesitting
areaandlookingaroundherslowly.
'Somethingtodrink?'Whichremindedherofthereasonshewashereinthefirstpl
ace,andanunexpectedflutterofnerves
rippleduptothesurface.
'Please.'
'Coffee?Tea?'
'Aglassofwine,ifyouhaveit.'Shefollowedhimuptothekitchenandperchedaw
kwardlyononeofthesoftlypadded
chairsbythetable.'It'sanamazingplace,'shesaid,watchingashepouredheragla
ssofwineandoneforhimself,beforesitting
oppositeheratthetable.Hereyesskitteredawayfromtheaggressiveplanesofhi
sfaceandtheonlythingrunningthroughherhead
wasthefactthatsheneededtokeeptalking.Shewasnolongertheseductressoutt
oevenscores.Shejustfeltlikeanervous,timid
younggirloutonherfirstdatewithamanwhowaslight-
yearsaheadofherinthesophisticationstakes.
'Howonearthdidyoufindit?AplacelikethisislikegolddustinLondon.Youmus
thavespentmonths,yearssearching.'
'Iownthebuilding,actually.'Jameswatchedthechangingexpressionsonherfa
cewithamusement.'Or,rather,it'sbeenin
thefamilyforaslongasIcanremember.Weusedtoownquiteabitmoreasamatte
roffactbutalot'sbeensoldalongthewayto
helpcoverthecostsofrunningtheestateinScotland.'
'Oh,indeed.Don'tweallhavetoflogafewofourLondonassetssothatwecankee
pourcountryestatesrunning?'
Hegrinnedatthesarcasm,whichSarahalfwishedhehadn'tdonebecauseshethe
nbecamealltoouncomfortablyaware
that,manipulatorornot,themanhadbagsofcharm,toomuchforhisowngood.
'WherewereyoubeforeyoulivedinLondon?'sheaskedhurriedly.
'Oh,abitofhereandabitofthere.'Thoseamazingeyes!Theywouldhaveheldher
captiveifshewasn'tsointenton
avoidingthem.'Buildingupmybusinesses,handlingmyfather'sinvestments.I
likedtheideaofbeingfairlyrootless.'
'Ithoughtyoustillwerefairlyrootless.'
HISCONVINIENTMISTRESS
CATHYWILLIAMS
HARLEQUINPRESENTS2479
31
'Ihavethisplace,'hemadeanexpansivegesturetoencompasstheapartment,'an
dScotland.I'masrootedasit'spossible
foranymantobe.'
'Notmanymenownpropertiesallovertheglobe,'Sarapointedout.
'Iconsidermyselfveryfortunateinthatrespect.'
Saratoyedwiththestemofherwineglass.
'I'msurprisedyouhaven'tbeensnappedupbynow.'Shewanteddesperatelytore
memberhowshewasgoingintothis,with
hereyeswideopenandcold-
bloodedlyawarethatherswasagamewithoutemotion.Shedidn'twanttosuccu
mbtoanyphoney
charm.She'dalreadygonedownthatroad.'Eligibleplayboysarealwaysthefirst
togo.'
'That'sbeenyourexperience,hasit?'Thelazysmiledroppedfrom
hisface.'AndI'm notaplayboy.Infact,thevery
descriptionisaninsult.Playboystravelfrompartytoparty,spendingDaddy'sm
oneyandchasingprettyyoungthings.'
'Andyoudon'tchaseprettyyoungthings?'Shegesturedaroundher.'Thisisn'tD
addy's?Youdon'tpartywiththebestof
them?'Shedaredhimtocontradicther,toputherbackintheangryframeofminds
heneededtokeepherperspectiveswithinsight.
Helookedathercarefully,asifhewasmakinguphismindaboutsomething,then
hesmiled.
'Actuallythebuildingbelongsjointlytomymotherandmenow,notthatsheever
getsthechancetocomedowntoLondon
exceptforAscotandChristmasshopping.Sometimesit'soddtothinkthatshewa
sonceamodeljetsettingallovertheworld.'
Sarawaswellandtrulydeflected.'Didn'tshemissallofthis?'
'Oh,shetookalittlewhiletosettle,sheoncetoldme.Shemissedtheshopsandthe
hectictravelandthebuzz,butthen
afterafewmonthsshefoundherselfbeingdrawnintovillagelife.And,ofcourse,
sheadoredtheoldman.Apparently,shereturnedto
Londonafewmonthsaftershehadmovedupandfoundthatalotofherfriendswe
renotquitetheexcitingyoungthingsshethought
theywere.'
Abitlikeme,Sarathoughtbitterly,excepttheonlymalewhostoodanychanceof
holdingbackherreturnwasfiveyears
old.Thefriendsaspectshecouldunderstand.Theyhadn'tchanged,itwasherlife
stylethathadaltered.Butasforbeingdrawninto
villagelife,shecouldn'tseeithappening.Shestillhadonefootupnorth,onedow
nsouthandnoonetohelphermakehermindup.
'HowareyoufindinglifeintheHighlands?'heaskedcuriouslyandimmediately
herantennaewereup.Thiswouldbehis
firststep,shethought.Hewouldnevercomerightoutwithhisplantobuythehous
efrom underherfeet.Hewouldgentlybut
relentlesslymoveinandusewhateverwasnecessarytogetwhathewanted.
'Different.'Sarastoodupandstretched.'DoyoumindifIremovemyjacket?'Wit
houtgivinghim timetoanswer,she
pulledofftheshortcreamjacket,whichleftheronlyinhertighttopthatfellneatly
tothewaistbandoftheskirt.
'Notgoingtocarryon?Shame.'Hishoodedblueeyeslingeredonher.'Iliketheth
oughtofmywomandoingastripteasein
mykitchen.'
Hiswoman.Sarafeltashiverofpleasureatthepossessiveterminology.Possessi
vebutfranklymeaningless.Theonlything
thatreallygottothismanwhenitcametowomenwassex.Andshewantedtogetto
him,didn'tshe?
Shepulledthetopoverherheadanddroppeditonthetablebetweenthem.Herfin
gershadbeentremblingwhenshedid
that,butashiseyesdriftedoverherbreastspushingagainstthelacybrashefeltthe
samerushofpowerthathadsurgedthroughher
earlier.Thesilencebetweenthemwaseroticallycharged,onlybrokenwhenhep
ushedbackhischairandhookedoneanklearound
anothersothathecouldpullittowardshim,enablinghimtostretchouthislegsan
dcontinuehislazy,broodinglysexyappraisalof
whatshewasdoing.
Inthatinstantitoccurredtoherthatshewouldneverhavebeenabletodowhatshe
wasdoingifshehadn'tbeengenuinely
andintenselyattractedtohim.Shewantedtotouchhimandhavehimtouchheran
dshewould,butinduecourse,whenthebuild-up
hadleftthembothweakwithneed.
Hehadtippedhisheadbacksothathiseyesappeareddrowsilyhalf-
closedashewatchedher.
Saraunhookedthebraandslowlypulledeachstrapdown,thenthelacypieceofn
otmuchwasoffandjoiningthe
discardedtoponthetable.
Herbreastspointedproudlyoutforhisinspection.Sheheardhisswiftintakeofbr
eathandhalfsmiled.
Sheshimmiedtowardshimuntilshewasstandingrightinfrontofhim,then,very
slowlyandnottakinghereyesaway
from
hisdarklyflushedface,sheridherselfofherskirt.Shealmostwantedtoscream
outloudwithherdesperatecravingtobe
touched.Whenherbodydidfinallymakecontactwithhis,shewassurethatshew
ouldexplodeintoathousandfragments.
Italmostdid.Itfeltasifitwouldanywayashedroppedhislegsfromthechairsoth
athewasholdingherbetweenthem
andthenflickedasidethecrotchofherpantiessothathecouldleanforwardandde
eplyinhalethescentofherduskywomanliness.He
filledhisnostrilswithitandsheallowedherselftodrownundertheweightofmin
dlesssensationasheruffledthefinehairbetween
herlegs,blowingagainstit,preparingherforthedelicateprobingofhistongueo
nthetipofherswollen,sensitisedclitoris.
Withamuffledgroan,Saraclaspedthebackofhisdarkheadwithherhandsandar
chedback,shiftingherstanceslightlyso
thatshecouldmoreeasilyopenherselfuptoaccommodatethedarkheadtherebe
tweenherlegs.
Atonepointsheheardherselfpleadingwithhimtostopinavoicethatshebarelyr
ecognised,andwhenhediddrawback
shewasstillshudderingfromtheimpactofhisravaging,intimatekiss.
'Sitonmylap,'hecommandedshakilyandsheobeyed.Hetiltedherbackandthen
subjectedherthrobbingbreaststothe
sameoralexplorationthathehadaffordedhermostprivateparts.
Hesuckedoneachnipple,drawingtherousedbudintohismouthsothathecouldt
easeitwithhisteethandhistongue.His
moistmouthwasconnectingtoinvisiblesensorylineswithinherbody,shooting
pleasurestraightfromthetipsofhernipplestothose
partsofherbodywhichcouldonlybeappeasedwhensherubbedthemagainstthe
roughfabricofhistrousers.
Ifshecarriedondoingthissheknewthatshewouldnotbeabletostopbringingher
selftoanuncontrollableclimax,andas
ifsensingthishepulledbackfromherthrobbingbreastsandroughlytoldherthat
heneededtogetoutofhisclothesnow.
Whathedidn'ttellherwasthathehadneverfeltsowildly,devastatinglyoutofco
ntrolbefore.Hecouldfeelhimself
bulgingagainsthistrousersanditphysicallyhurt.
Itdidn'ttakehimlongtodivesthimselfofhisclothes,practicallyrippinghisshirt
offhisback,poppingacoupleofbuttons
intheprocesswhichbouncedacrossthekitchenfloor.
Thistimewhentheirbodiesmet,fleshagainstflesh,therewasnoroomforseduct
iveforeplay.
Theirbodieswerehotandslickandripetobemeldedtogetherasone.Hepulledhe
rbackontohim,lettingherhavejust
themerestbuild-
upasheclaspedhisbighandsonherwaistandencouragedhertofeelthatintensel
yarousingfrictiononceagainas
sherubbedherselfwantonlyandrhythmicallyagainsthishardenedshaft.Thisti
metherewerenoknickersandnotrouserstoimpede
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CATHYWILLIAMS
HARLEQUINPRESENTS2479
32
theheatedsatisfactionoffeelinghim
massivebetweenherthighs,eachthrustingmovementbringinganincoherent
moanfrom her
partedmouth.
Thenwithanunsteadygroanheinsertedhimselfintoher,hispowerfulbodyshu
dderingwithsatisfactionasshebeganto
undulateontopofhim,steadilyupanddown,increasinghertemposothatherbea
utiful,bountifulbreastsbouncedjusttherebyhis
mouth,justtherewherehecouldalmostcatchthem.AndGod,hewantedtotastet
hemagain.
Asshemoved,hishandssweptupwardstocaptureonejigglingbreastandhesuc
kedfiercelyontheengorgedpinknipple.
Itwastoomuch.Didshecryout?Shedidn'tknow.Hereyeswereclosed,herheadt
hrownback,theupperpartofhertorso
pushedforwardtoaccommodatehisdevastatingmouthonherbreasts,andthen
shewasfreefallingthroughspaceandtime,tumbling
overtheedgeandfeelinghimtakingthesameelectrifyingridethatshewason.
TheirbodieswerelockedintooneanotherandSarafeltthatfirstburstofshatterin
gsensationgivewaytoclimacticripples
thattookhertoaseriesofpeaksthathadhersaggingwhenshefinallycamebackd
owntoearth.
Itfeltsomehowrightwhenhedrewhertohimandwrappedhisarmsaroundher,sl
owlytracingthelineofherspinewith
hisfingers.Shewassopeacefulthatshecouldveryeasilyhavenoddedoff.
'Ihopeyou'renottootired'Hisvoicewasalow,huskymurmurinherearandshe
openedhereyesdrowsilytofind
herselfstaringathisfirmjawlineandaglimpseofhismouththattoldherhewass
miling.Herfingersitchedtostroketheedgeofhis
mouthandsheresolutelykeptthemstill.
'Youcouldn't'Hervoicewasashuskyashisandshedidn'trecognisethesexyla
ughasbelongingtoherwhenhe
informedherthatshereallyshouldn'tsaythingsthatcouldpossiblyconstituteac
hallengetoamanlikehim.
'ButthistimeIthinkwe'llbeabitmoreconventionalandavailourselvesofmykin
g-sizedbed.'Hekissedthetipofher
noseandshestraightenedtostaredownathim,unbotheredbyhernudity.Theyw
alkedwiththeirfingerslinkedoutofthefabulous
openareatowardsoneofthedoors,whichopenedintoanequallyimpressivema
sterbedroom.
Thissectionofthehousewascarpetedandplushlyso.Hertoessquirmeddelight
edlyintothethickpileandhetuggedher
towardsthebed.
Thiswasabigbedforabigmanandthelinenwasuncompromisinglymasculine,
amixtureofdarkgreensandvibrant
burgundiesthatwouldhaveleftaperfectstrangerinnodoubtastothesensualnat
ureoftheiroccupant.
And,justincaseshewasinanydoubtherself,hespentthenexthourandahalfsho
wingherjusthowsensualhecouldbe.
Thefranticurgencyoftheirfirstboutoflovemaking,whentheyhadbeendevour
edbyaconsumingneedtogettooneanother,driven
byaprimitivesexualcravingthathadleftthemspentandbreathless,wasreplace
dbyalingering,almosttenderandequallyfulfilling
explorationofeachother'sbodies.Itwasaslow,melodicdancethattookthembo
thtothesamedramaticheights,butviaadifferent
route.
Afterwards,withherbraininneutralandhersensesswimmingpleasurablyinth
eaftermathoftheirlovemaking,Sara
coiledherselfonhersidesothattheywerefacingoneanotherwiththeirbodieslig
htlytouching.
'Ishouldbegoingbacktomyhotel,'shemurmuredhalf-
heartedlyandhestrokedsomehairawayfromherface.
'Ican'tthinkwhy.'
Sara'sbrainstruggledtogetagripofsomethingveryimportantthatwasedgingth
erejustoutofreach.
'Ican'tstandthethoughtofyourhangingontoyourpast,youknow.'James'svoice
wasdeadlyseriousandhefoundthathe
wasstaringdownatherwithsuchferociousintensitythatheforcedhimselftodil
uteitwithsomethinglikealowlaugh.
'I'mnot.Notanymore.'
'Tellmeabouthim.Tellmewhatwentwrong.'
'Everythingwentwrongandit'stoolongastorytotell,anyway.Longandtedious
andunnecessary.'
'Wehavetime.'Hefoundhimselfdriventoglimpsethatpartofherlifethatwasca
pableofmakinghisteethsnaptogether
infrustratedanger.
'Youmeanyou'renotgoingtosuggestthatwe
indulgeagain?'Saraenquiredlightlytobreakthesuddentension,andthe
ployworked.Hesmiled.Didheknowhowmuchyoungerhelookedwhenhesmi
led?
.'I'mnolongerateenager,'Jamessaiddrily,becausehewantedhertotalkandsex
wouldwait.Hesmiledagainandthat
smiledidit.Whatharmwasthereinspillingoutabitofherpersonalhistorytohim
?Itwasn'tastatesecret,forheaven'ssake!
Soshefoundherselftellinghimaboutherbackground,aboutgrowingupintheE
astEndofLondon,helpingherfather
withhismarketstall,averythrivingmarketstall,butamarketstallnevertheless.
Shewasanonlychildwithaquickbrainandher
parentshadlovinglyfosteredhertalentforschoolwork.Bythetimeshewasnine
shecouldrunthemarketstallasefficientlyasthe
bestofthemandshehadenjoyedit.She'dlearnttobarter,beguntopredicttrendsi
nwhatsoldandwhenitsoldandwhyitsold.
'IneverrealiseditwasatalentthatwouldgetmewhereIeventuallygot,butIwasg
oodatwell,trading,Isuppose'She
sighedandstaredmistilyintothedistance.Oncestarted,shewasdiscoveringtha
tthetorrentwasunstoppable.Philliphadmetherata
socialoccasionwhenherstarwasbeginningtoshine.Hehadzeroedinonherand,
foolthatshehadbeen,shehadtakenhimatface
value,shewascleverbutnotcleverenoughtospotthesnobbehindthecharming
veneer.
'SoIneverthoughttwiceabouttellinghimallaboutmyparents,whereIhadgrow
nup.Hewasappalled.Not,'sheadded
truthfully,'thatIthinkthatthatwasthereasonitallwentpear-
shaped.Butitcertainlydidn'thelpmatters.Hehadnoneedforbright
starswithdubiousbackgrounds.Infact,asitturnedout,hehadnoneedforbrights
tarsatall.He'smarryingsomeonewithno
pretensionstoacareerbutpresumablygoodbreedingstock.Unlikeme.Thepre
gnancywasthelaststraw.Hefeltguiltytostartwith,
hewasn'tacompletemonster,butsoonhebeganimplyingthat,sinceitwasmyfa
ult,hehadnodutiestodealwithit,withhisown
son.Everysooftenhewouldcomearoundunannounced,Isupposewhenoneofh
istwingesofguiltgotalittlehardtohandle,butall
thatstoppedafterawhile.Hehadn'twantedachildandheespeciallycouldn'tdea
lwithasonwhowasn'tthepictureofrobusthealth.'
Sarasighedandmanagedaweaksmile.'Sothereyougo.'
'Markettrader,'Jamesmurmuredsoftly,reachingtoplaceakissonhermouth,'Ili
keit.'Andhedid.Althoughifanyone
wastoaskhimpreciselywhy,hewouldnothavebeenabletoprovideanadequate
answer.
CHAPTEREIGHT
BythemiddleofAugust,SararealisedthatherinitialdecisiontoleaveScotlandi
ntimetogetSimonbacktoLondonfor
schoolatthebeginningofSeptemberwasnolongeronthecards.Shehaddoneno
thingaboutarrangingsomewheretolive,had
checkedoutnoschoolseitherinoraroundLondon,andwhenevershethoughtab
outithermindwentunhelpfullyblank.
SheblamedJames.ForsomeonewhoworkedandlivedinLondon,hehadcertai
nlyfounditinsidehimselftobreakwith
hisroutinesothathecouldseeher,sometimestwoorthreetimesduringtheweek,
alwaysintheeveningwhenSimonwasnotaround.
HISCONVINIENTMISTRESS
CATHYWILLIAMS
HARLEQUINPRESENTS2479
33
Whenhecameupontheweekends,allthreeofthem,sheinsistedthattheymeeto
nlyatnight.Shesaidthatherdayswerejusttoofull
tryingtogetthehousetogetherandseeingaboutthemillionandonethingsthatsti
llneededdoing.Infact,shemadesurenottobe
aroundontheSaturdayssheknewhewouldbetravellinguptohisestate.
Shearrangedtoexploreanywhereandeverywhere.Shetookhershoppingtrips
asfarawayfromhomebaseasshecould.
SheevenmadeamammothefforttotakeSimonacrosstoEdinburgh,givingthe
mselvesalittlestay-overtreat,althoughallshecould
thinkaboutwastheprospectofseeingJameswhenshegotbackontheSundayev
ening.
Sheadoredthewayhewaitedimpatientlyforher.Shecouldimaginehim
stridingthroughthemillionsofroomsinhis
mansion,frowningwithhishandsshovedintohispockets,waitingforherphone
callinforminghimthatSimonwassettled.
'It'sridiculous,'hehadgroundouttheweekendbefore,whenshehadcalmlyinfo
rmedhimthatno,shecouldn'tpossiblygo
outwithhimduringtheday.'IneedtobeinyourcompanyandyetwhenIcomeuph
ereyoudonothingbutinsistIkeepaway.'
Herlaughterhadmanagedtocoaxareluctantsmilefromhim,butprettysoonshe
knewthatshewouldn'tbeabletohold
himatbaybytellinghimthatthosewereherrulesandshewantedthemrespected.
Hehadheldoffsofarbuthewaslikeacagedtiger,
bidinghistimeuntilhecouldpushfurtherforward.
Shealsoknewthatprettysoonshewouldhavetodowhatshehadsetouttodo
confronthimwithhisownunpleasant
littleschemetobuyherhouseanddeclareherselfthewinner,showhimthatshew
asnobody'sfoolandthatshecouldplaythesex
gameascompetentlyashethoughthecould.
Shewassittinginthegarden,halfreadingabookandhalfkeepinganeyeonSimo
n,whowasbusilydiggingupsome
weedsforherinthehopeoffindingeitherwormsorburiedtreasure.Sherestedhe
rheadback,closedhereyesforafewseconds,and
whensheopenedthemagainitwastoseeJamesstandinginfrontoftheFrenchdo
ors,watchingher.
Sarasatupandblinkedbutthevisionrefusedtodisappear.Infact,thevisionstrod
etowardsher,long,leanandunfairly
sexyinhislightweighttrousersandshort-
sleevedshirtthathungoverhistrousers.
'Ithoughtyouhadathousandthingstodoandweren'tgoingtobearound,'hesaid,
finallystandinginfrontofherand
staringdownatherflushedface.
Simonhadstoppedhisenergeticexplorationoftheflowerbedsothathecouldlo
okatJames.
'Whatareyoudoinghere?'
'Youknow,you'redoingverylittleformyconcentration,lyingthereinnexttono
thing.'Hesmiledveryslowly.'Now,
whatifsomepassingstrangerhadcalledroundandfoundyoudressedlikethat?'
'Dressedlikewhat?'SarapeeredanxiouslyovertoSimonandsmiledreassuring
lyathim.Jamesfollowedthedirectionof
hergazetosmileattheboy,whogrinnedbackandlookedpreparedtolaunchinto
conversation.Sarathoughtshe'dbetternipthatin
thebudsoshetoldhimcheerfullythatifhedugabitdeepershewassurehewouldfi
ndwhathewaslookingfor.
'Whichiswhat?'BlueeyesthathadthepowertoscorchrefocusedonSara'sflush
edface.
'Buriedtreasureorworms.Eitherisequallyacceptable.Andyoustillhaven'ttol
dmewhatyou'redoinghere,not,'she
addedasapostscript,'thatitisn'tverynicetoseeyou.'Exceptnothereandnotnow
.Shehadmanagedtomakeverysurethatcontact
withhersonwasminimalandthingsweren'tgoingtochangethere.
Settlingscores,whichwastheobjectoftheexerciseorsoshekepttellingherself,
wasonething.Shecouldhandlethe
consequences,butSimonhadtobeprotectedfrominvolvementwithJames.
'IIthoughtwehadarrangedtomeetupabitlater'
'Wehadbut'Jameslookedupintothecloudlessblueskyandsquinted.Thehot
summeragreedwithhim.Naturally
inclinedtoswarthiness,hehadbeengivenbythesunadeep,bronzedcolourthat
mademostotherpeoplelookanaemicincomparison.
Especiallyher,withherultra-
fairskinthatneededprotecting.Notthatheseemedtomind.Infact,sheblusheda
ssheremembered
someofhismorepotentadulationsofherbody.
Heglancedbackdownatherandgrinned.'ItwassobloodyhotthatIcouldn'tresis
tdrivingovertoseeifIcouldcatchyou
beforeyouwentout.Somehow,'heleanedover,trappingherinhersunlounger,'
Mama,wonderfulcompanythoughsheis,wasnot
quitethewomanIfanciedspendingmySaturdaywith.'
Saralickedherlips.'Actually,Iwasonmywayout'
'Inapairofshortsandacroppedtopthatbarelycoversyourbreasts?NotifIhavea
nysayinthat.'
'Iwasgoingtochangefirst!'
'Outwhere?'
'Outtothemarket,actually.Ineedtobuysomevegetables,foodformetocookfor
ustonight.'
Hehadn'tstraightenedupandthewarmsuggestivenessofhiseyesastheyroame
doverherfaceandtheupperpartofher
bodymadehernipplesache.
'Good,'hemurmured,'Ifancyatriptothemarket.Alwayssuchanadventure,that
marketofours.Icandriveusthere.We
canhavelunchsomewhere.'
'No!'
Jamesfrownedandpushedhimselfup.'No?Whynot?'Henarrowedhiseyessus
piciouslyonherface.Sometimes,not
veryoften,hehadthedisconcertingfeelingthattheearth,onwhichhisfeetwerev
eryfirmlyplanted,wasshiftingeversoslightly
underhim.Thiswasoneofthosetimes.Shouldn'tmatterabean,ofcourse,sinces
exwasalltherewasbetweenthem,hot,vibrant,
compulsivesex,buthedidn'tlikeherimmediaterejectionofhiscompany.
'Becausethenyou'dseewhatI'mbuyingandthemealtonightwouldn'tbeasur
prise.'
'Letmetakeyouout.YouknowhowmuchMamaenjoyscomingherenowtobab
ysitSimon'
Whichwassomethingelse,Sarathoughtguiltily.Shehadn'tplanneditthatway,
butSimonandMariaseemedtohave
developedanaturalbondandithadbeeneasiertoseehimawayfromherownhou
se.Moreoftenthannot,theywentbacktohisestate
andhecookedforher,temptedherpalatewithdelicacieshecarriedupwithhim
inhishelicopter,littlemorselsofparadisefrom
FortnumandMasonorHarrods.
Sometimeshewouldfeedhersomeofthedelicioustreats,makingherreclineon
oneofthesofasinoneofthesitting
rooms,doorfirmlyclosedsothatshecouldstretchoutinnakedabandonmentan
dnibblewhathepresentedtoher.Hewouldkneelby
herside,everybittheadoringslave,andthenhisadorationwouldbecomephysic
al,fromhertoestothetopofherhead.
'No,really,James,I'dratherIjustwentdowntothemarketandgotwhatIneedtog
et.'Shereluctantlyswungherlegsover
thesideofthesunloungersothatshecouldmakethepoint.'AndI'llgetthroughita
lotquickerifit'sjustmeandSimon.'
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CATHYWILLIAMS
HARLEQUINPRESENTS2479
34
'Ihavetwoperfectlyfunctioninglegs,'hesaidtautly,'Idon'tthinkI'llholdyouup.
Ifanything,Icanhelp,takeSimonfora
milkshake,leaveyoutoshopinpeaceforacoupleofhours.'
'No!'Sarasaidsharply.Hereyesslidacrosstowherehersonwasbusilymakinga
nunholymessoftheflowersshehad
plantedonlydaysearlier.Obviouslyhisdesignatedspothadfailedtoyieldtheex
pectedtreasure.Shewouldhavetosortthatoutlater.
'What'stheproblem,Sara?'OK,sohewasbeinghighhandedandobstinate,buth
edidn'tliketothinkthathiscompanywas
surplustorequirements,thatshedidn'twanthim
aroundwheneverandwherevershecouldhavehim,becauseasfarashewas
concernedthatwashowitstoodwithhimatthismomentintime.Hecouldn'tstop
thinkingabouther.Itwasthemostseverecaseof
lusthehadeverexperienced.Andwhentheyweretogethershewasasfired-
upashewas,sohecouldn'tunderstandhowshecould
drawlinesaroundthemthewaythatshedid,thewayshewasdoingnow.
'Thereisnoproblem.'Theireyesmetandshewasthefirsttolookaway.'Comeon,
Simes,upstairs.You'vegottochange.
We'regoingintotowntodosomeshopping.'
'ButIhaven'tfoundanytreasure,'Simonwailed,notbudging.
'Whatyouneedisametaldetector,'Jamessaid,strollingacrossand,toSara'sdis
may,reachingoutonehandtotakehis.
'Now,ametaldetectorwilltellyouwheretofindyourburiedtreasure.Itbeepswh
eneveritsensessomethinginterestinginthe
ground.'
SimonwaslookingalittletooenthralledbythatforSara'scomfort,anditwaseve
nmorealarmingwhentheyboth
followedherinsidethehousewithSimonwillinglycomplyingwithJames'sbris
kassertionthathewouldchangehim sothathis
mothercouldgetdressed.
'There'snoneed,'sheprotestedfeebly,onlytofindherselfstaringintotwopairso
fimplacableeyes.
Ofcourse,Jamesgothisway,accompanyingthemtothemarket.Thiswasjustw
hatshedidn'tneed,andassoonasshe
couldshemadeherfeelingsabsolutelyclear.
'Thiswasn'tpartofthedeal,'shehissedastheyventuredintotheopen-
airfoodmarketandshecouldbeassuredthatSimon
wasdistractedenoughnottooverhearawordtheyweresaying.
'Whatdeal?'
'Me.You.Us.Thatdeal.'
Sincethatwaspreciselythearrangementhehadalwaysenjoyedwitheverywom
anhehadeverdated,hewassurprisedto
findhimselfseethingwithangeratbeinginformedthathewasmerelypartofade
al.
'Idon'tknowthatIcareforthatexpression.'
'Why?It'sonlyamatterofvocabulary.'
'Ha,ha.Whatwastherealreasonfornotwantingmetaggingalong,Sara?Werey
ouplanningonmeetingsomeonein
town?Aman?'Hestruggledtohidetheprimitivestabofjealousyunderneathato
neofamusedcynicism.
Sarastoppedtostareathim.'Don'tberidiculous.'
'IsthatwhatI'mbeing?Youseemedprettydeterminednottohavemearoundand
don'tthinkIhaven'tnoticedthatit'sthe
sameonalltheweekendsI'vecomeuphere.You'refreefortheevening,butinexp
licablyoccupiedduringtheday.Wouldn'tyousay
thatthatwasalittlestrange?Alittlerevealing?'
Saraturnedawayandgaveallherattentiontotheboybehindthestallandthensur
prisedhimbyhandingoverthecorrect
amountofmoneybeforehehadtimetoconsulthispieceofpaper,dohissumsand
tellherhowmuchsheowed.
'Well?'Jamespressed.'Whatdoyoudowithyourselfduringthedaylighthours?I
fthere'ssomemanhereyou'vebeen
seeing,I'll'
'What?Houndhimoutoftown?Stringhimupfromthenearestlamppost?'
'Both,'hemuttered,scowling,notthathebelievedthatforaminute.Hewouldha
veheardlongbeforenow.
'There'snoman.HowcouldIhavetheenergyforanyoneelse?'sheaskedtruthful
ly,whichwentalittlewaytoputtingthe
shadowofasmilebackonhisface.Hetookthebagsoffruitandvegetablesfromh
er.
'Wewillhavelunchtogether,thethreeofus,'hestatedflatly,andSararaisedhere
yebrowsathisperemptorytoneofvoice.
'Iknowaverypleasantpubabouttwentymilesaway.'
'Twentymiles?'
'Nodistanceatall.'Heshruggedandgaveheroneofthosefamiliarlooksthatneve
rfailedtomakehergowarmallover.
Wicked,arrogantandsearinglysexyallwrappedupinone.'AndthenIwilldeliv
eryouandSimonbacktotheRectoryinonepiece
andleaveyoutogetonwiththeabsorbingtaskofcookingforyourman.'
'Cookingformyman.Hm.Aren'tyoujustthesortofsensitive,twenty-first-
centuryguythateveryliberatedwomandreams
offinding?'Itwassoeasytodriftintothiskindofteasingbanterwithhimandhisse
nseofhumourneverletherdown.Hecouldmake
hergigglelikeateenager.Shewaspracticallygigglingnowashevisiblypuffedh
imselfupandlookedeveryinchthesexycaveman,
eventhoughhecouldcooklikeadreamwhenheputhismindtoit.
'Yes,'hegrinnedbackather,'thatwouldbeme.Thecapcertainlyfitsso,ifyoudon
'tmind,IthinkIwillwearit.Now,ina
verysensitivemanner,Iwilltakethesebagstothecarandexpecttoseeyouwhatti
me?Inabouthalfanhour?'
Sarasighedandgaveup.'OK.AquicklunchandthenyougohomeorIshallhavey
ourmotherswearingatmeforhogging
youtomyselfwheneveryoucomeup.'
Itwasonlyhourslater,afteranextraordinarilygoodlunchatapubinasmallvilla
gethatmadetheirowntownseemlikea
cosmopolitancityincomparison,thatSaratooktimeouttositdownandthink.Sh
edidn'tlikewhereherthoughtswent.Somewhere
alongtheline,inthatmurkyplacebetweentheoryandpractice,ithadbecomejus
ttoodamnedcomfortablebeingwithJames.Ifhe
hadrailedagainstherforshunninghiscompanyduringtheday,shecouldhaveto
ldhimthatsheyearnedforhimwhenhewasn'twith
her.Shehadmanagedtohangontothatlittlepieceofmaternalprotectivenesstha
tmadehershyawayfrom encouragingcontact
betweenhimandherson,butforhowmuchlonger?
Todayhadbeensomethingofarevelation.ShehadwatchedhelplesslyasJames
hadbondedwithSimon.Shewashis
mum,whomadesurethathewashedhishands,brushedhisteeth,didn'teattoom
uchofthewrongfoods,readbookswithhimanddid
puzzles,butJameshadtalkedtohiminanamusingman-to-
manwaythathadhadSimon'seyesdancingwithdelight.Hehadcarried
himfrompubtocaronhisshoulders,bouncinghimupanddownuntilhersonhadl
aughedtilltearshadgatheredinhiseyes.Hehad
seriouslydiscussedthepossibilityof.doingaspotofmanlymetaldetectingtoge
ther.
Now,asshepreparedvegetables,sheknewthatshewouldhavetodosomethinga
boutthesituation.
HISCONVINIENTMISTRESS
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Shewouldhavetobreakitoff,showherhand,butwhenshethoughtofdoingthat,
whichwasfranklywhatshehadsetout
todointhefirstplace,hermindbaulked.
Realisingthatshehadpeeledfartoomanycarrotsfortwopeople,sheswitchedto
choppingonions,andwhenhereyes
begantowaterfirmlytoldherselfthattheonionsweretoblame.
Coolitdownfirst.Thatwaswhatshewoulddo.Takeherstepscarefullybecause
because
Becauseherhearthaddisobeyedeveryinstructionherheadhadgivenit,shereali
sedwithpanic.Herhearthadboldly
openedupandbeensweptawaywhileallthetimeshehadbeenkiddingherselfth
atshewaspullingthestringsandbeingthehard
womansheneverhadbeenandcertainlywasn'tnow.
TheRectorywasaplaceofseemingorderlycontrolbythetimeseven-
thirtyrolledaround.
Simonwascomfortablytuckedupinbed,fastasleepafterbeingreadhisfavourit
ebookforfiveminutes.Thekitchen
smelledofgarlicandherbsandthefragrantlambshehadspenttheafternoonmak
ing,eventhoughhermindhadbeenmilesaway.
Shewaswearingastraightsleevelessdress,slightlyfittedtothewaistandthenfa
llingsoftlytomid-calf.Veryoldfashioned,
especiallywithherlonghairfallinginripplesdownherback,veryVictorian.Ver
yun-sexy.Notaninchofunnecessaryleg
visibleandnopartofherbodyoutlined.Ifshewasgoingtosticktohergunsandbe
ginthepainfulprocessofphasinghimoutofher
life,thensheneededallthehelpshecouldget.
Nevertheless,shestillfeltherresolvewobblebythetimethedoorbellwentands
hepulledopenthedoortofindhim
standingthere,withanenormousbouquetofflowersinonehand.
Itwasthefirsttimehehadmadeanygesturelikethatandittookheraback.Flower
sseemedtoimplyromanceand
romancewasn'twhathewasabout.
'From
thegardens,'hesaidroughly,notingherreactionandregisteringgrimlythatflow
ersprobablyweren'tpartofthe
'deal'either.Hethrustthematherandfollowedherintothekitchen,watchingwhi
leshefloatedaround,findingavase,fillingitwith
water,deftlyarrangingtheflowerswithanexpertisethatonlyhismotherseeme
dtoshare.
Whatwasshewearing?Hehadn'tseenherinanythinglikethatdressbefore,wass
urprisedthatsheevenpossessed
somethingasdreamilyfeminineasthat,consideringherwardrobemuststillbea
rtheimprintofherpoweroutfits.Itleftanawfullotto
theimaginationand,oncue,hisimaginationbegantorunriotuntilhehadfirmlyp
ouredcoldwateroverit.
'Hand-picked?'
'What?'
"Theflowers.Hand-picked,Ipresume?'
Jamesshruggedcarelessly.'Nottoodifficult,consideringtheprofusionofthem
inthegardens.Smellsgoodinhere.Is
Simonasleep?'
Saradidn'twanttodiscussSimon,butmentionofhisnamedidremindherthather
missionwastobringclosuretothis
peculiarlittlerelationshipsheandJameswerehaving,onewhichmeantrelative
lylittletohimshewassure,butwhichmeantfartoo
muchtoher.
Shewouldnevertellhim
thatshehadfoundoutabouthislittleplantousehertogettheRectory.Itwashumil
iating
enoughnowtothinkaboutthatwithoutbringingitoutintotheopenandbesides
shehadplayedatit-for-tatgamethathadmassively
backfiredonher.Thegameswereover,theonlytruthwasthatshehadtogethim
outofherlifebecauseshewassohopelessly
embroiledwithhimnow.
'Tellmewhat'shappeninginLondon,'sheinvited,steeringtheconversationinto
neutralwaters.'What'splayingatthe
theatre?Arethereanyopen-airpromshappening?Iusedtogototheopen-
airpromseveryyearwhenIwasinLondon.There's
nothingquitelikelisteningtogoodmusicoutside,surroundedbypeople,withap
icnichamperbyyoursideandfriendsaroundyou.'
'Anyfriendsinparticular?'Jamestooktheprofferedglassofwineandswallowe
damouthful.
Recentlyheseemedtohaveunearthedadistastefullypossessivestreakthathew
asfindingdifficulttocontrol.Whatfriends
hadshegonetherewith?Hehadgonetooneopen-
airprom,lastyearinfact.Hehadn'tseenhertherethen.Whohadshebeenwith?
Herex-boyfriend?Someotherman?Awholetribeofthem?
'Friendsfromwork.'SarawentacrosstotheAga,openedthedoorandreleaseda
wonderfulsmellofcooking.
'Doyoukeepintouchwiththemstill?'
'OfcourseIdo!'Shehadconversationsdowntheendofthephonewithsomeofth
em.Theyconsideredhersomethingofa
curiositynowthatshehadleftthebrightlightsbehind,andsheconsideredthema
littledysfunctionaltobesowrappedupinmaking
money,eventhoughshecouldwrylyadmitthatshehadnumberedoneofthemon
lyamatterofacoupleofmonthsago.
'Andthesefriends aretheymaleorfemale?'
'Both,'Sarasaidlightly.'Abitlikeyours,Iexpect.'
'Idon'tencouragefemalefriendships.'Jamesrestedthewineglassonthekitchen
tablesothathecouldlinkhisfingers
behindhishead.From
thisangle,hecouldinspecthereverymovementwithlazy,leisurelyconcentrati
on.'Ifindeventhemost
dispassionatefemalefriendusuallyendsupwantingmorethanIcangive.'
'You'renotasirresistibleasyouthinkyouare,'Sarainformedhim.Shehadn'tdon
eastarter,favouringapuddinginstead,
andnowshebeganbringingdishestothetableandtellinghimwhathewouldbee
ating.
Jameslistenedpolitely,satsquarelyinfrontofhisplate,allowedhertodishoutali
ttleofeverythingforhim.
'Areyoutellingmethatyoudon'tfindmeirresistible?'
'Ithinkweunderstandoneanother,'Saratoldhimlightly.'Webothknowwhatwe
wantoutofthisrelationship.'Inhiscase,
sexandherhouse,inhercaselove,marriage,babies,thewholefairytalethatexpe
rienceshouldhavewarnedherdidn'texist.
Fortunately,hewasn'tgoingtofindthatout.
'Whichis?'
'Youknowwhat.Fun.'
'Andyourneedtoexorciseyourdemons.'
'Meaning?'
'Yourex-
lover.'Itshouldn'thavebotheredhim.Afterall,wasn'thegettingwhathewanted
?Tobedthewomansitting
oppositehimandeatingwiththecomposedairofasaint?Itbotheredhimlikehell
.
Sarashruggedandlethimassume.
'Simonenjoyedtoday,'shesaid,intothetenselittlesilencethathadgreetedherno
n-answer.
'SodidI.'Hepaused.'DoIhearabutcoming?'
HISCONVINIENTMISTRESS
CATHYWILLIAMS
HARLEQUINPRESENTS2479
36
'But,'Sarasaidobligingly,'Ireallydon'twantarepeatperformance.'
'Meaningwhatexactly?'
'Meaningthat,whileIappreciateyourefforts,Idon'twantyoutogetinvolvedwit
hmyson.'
'Whyisthat?'
'Doyouhavetokeepaskingquestions?Can'tyoujustacceptwhatItellyouatface
value?'Sheclosedherknifeandfork.
Shehadbeenabletoeatonlyafractionofwhatwasonherplate.Herappetiteseem
edtohavedonearunner.
'I'veneverbeenagreatbelieverinacceptingthingsatfacevalue.There'salwaysa
deeperagenda.'
Something,shethought,hewouldknowalotabout,consideringhisagenda.
'OK.ThedeeperagendaisthatIdon'twantSimongettingattachedtosomeonew
hoisn'tgoingtobearoundforverylong.'
Jameswasn'tabouttoletthatonego.'Thedinnerwasdelicious,'hesaidcarefully,
sittingbackandfoldinghisarmswithan
expressionthatcouldstopaleopardattwelvepaces.'Itakeitfromyourremarkth
atyou'vealreadyassignedatimelimittous?'
'No,ofcoursenot'
'Simonbenefitsfromhavingamanaroundoccasionally.I'mnotabouttotryands
tepintohisfather'sfootsteps,although
fromwhatyoutellmethatwouldn'tbeverydifficultconsideringthekitchentabl
ewe'resittingatiscapableofmorepaternalfeelings.
But'
'Therearenobuts,James,'Sarasaidsharply.'Ifyoudon'tlikethesituationthenyo
ucanclearoff.'Everywordwaslike
havingaknifedraggedthroughherheart.Shecouldfeelhereyesbeginningtowa
terandhastilystoodupsothatshecouldfocuson
somethingotherthanhisgimlet-like,narrowedstare.
'Thisisn'tgettingusanywhere.'Thelowmurmurcamefromclosertoherthanshe
hadexpected.Withherbacktohim,
belligerentlyattackingtheplatesintoastateofcleanliness,shehadbeenunawar
eofhisapproach.
Frankly,hisresponsealarmedher.Hadn'tshejustgivenhimtheperfectopportu
nityforafight?Sheknewhimwellenough
bynowtoknowthathewasn'tthesortofmanwhotoleratedfemaleattackswitheq
uanimity,sowhywashenotramminghomehis
point?
Sarafelthisarmsslidearoundherwaistandshestiffened,thenbegantomelt.
Onetouch.Thatwasallittook.Whenhebenttoresthismouthagainstthenapeofh
erneck,shefeltthebonesinherbody
soften.
'Ifyoufeelthatstrongly,thenofcourseIwon'ttryandbargeinonyourlittlenuclea
rfamily.'Somehowhemadethatsound
asthoughitwasacriticismofherbutshewaslosingthewilltofightbecausehistee
thwerenowgentlynippingthesideofherneck
andmakingherlegsfeelveryshakyintheprocess.
'Isthatwhyyou'vebeendodgingmeduringthedaywheneverI'vebeendown?'he
murmured,reachingforwardtoswitch
offthetapandthenreplacinghishandalittlefurtheruphertorso,beneathherleftb
reast,infact.'It'sperfectlyunderstandable.'
Saramadeaconcertedefforttoshiftherselfaround,whichshemanagedtodosuc
cessfully,onlytofindthathislong,lean
bodyhadnointentionofmoving.Hekissedthetipofhernose.Thenverygentlyki
ssedhermouth.
Why,why,why?Whycouldn'thehelpheralongandbeaspredictableaseveryoth
ermanonthefaceoftheearth?Because
ifhewas,shethoughttoherself,thenyouwouldn'thavefallenheadoverheelsinl
ovewithhim.Norwouldshestillbefalling,even
thoughsheknewfullwellwhathewasabout.
Sheheavedasmallsighofresignationandcoiledherarmsaroundhisneck,drawi
nghimdownsothathisgentlekisscould
bereplacedbyhermoreurgentone.
Wrongresponse.Definitelynotinaccordancewithherwell-thought-
outplans.Definitelynotasensiblemanoeuvrewhenit
cametoprotectinghervulnerableheart.
'I'vemadepudding,'shemanagedtoprotest.
'It.Can.Wait.'Hepunctuatedthethreewordswithhungrykisses.Whenhestrod
etowardsthekitchendoorandslippedthe
latchdown,allSaracoulddowaswaitinthefamiliarnervousexcitementforhimt
obebackclosetoher.
'Now,'hemurmured,pullinghertohimandwindinghisfingersintoherhair,'Ica
nthinkofahundredmorepleasurable
thingswecandothanargue.'Hesmiledslowly.'Well,onlyone,asamatteroffact,
butthatcanbedoneinahundreddifferentways,
mm?'
Notahundred,asitturnedout.Infact,thekitchenprovedthevenuefortheappetis
eronlyandSarahadneverbefore
imaginedthatakitchentablecouldbethatsatisfyinganinstrumentinlovemakin
g.
Herfloatydress,whichshehadwornasanarmouragainsthisadvances,didn'tsta
ndachance.Notthatheremovedit.Just
pushedituptoherwaist,whereitbunchedaroundher,leavinghim
freetotugdownherunderwearsothathecouldexplorethe
honeyedmoisturebetweenherlegs.Ifthefloatydressdidn'tstandachance,then
neitherdidshe,whenitcametohisabilitytoarouse
her.Allshecoulddowaslieback,herheadflungoverthebackofthechair,andenj
oyhisfullattention.
Shedidn'twanttocome,foughtagainstit,buttheinsistentflickingofhistonguea
gainsthersensitisedbudprovedtoogreat
astimulationtoresistandthewavesofpleasurerushingthroughherinrapidsucc
essionlefthermoaningandwrithinguntilshe
shudderedtoherexplosiveorgasm.
Afterwards,faceflushed,shelaylimplywithherdressstillinelegantlyatherwai
st,breathingheavily.
'Deliciousdessert,'JamesmurmuredwithawickedsmileandSaralookedathim
drowsily.
'That'sthecorniestlineI'veeverheard.'Shesmiledbackandranherfingerslightl
ythroughhishair.Hewasstillsquatting
infrontofherpartedlegsandheplacedaverytenderkissrightthere.
'Now,shallwegobackwards?'
'Gobackwards?'
'Enjoysomemaincourse'
Forwhichthesittingroom,withitsbig,softsofa,provedjusttherightplace.Thec
urtainswereopenandthelightwas
fadingbuttherewasstillenoughtobathetheroominadusky,mellowhue.Throu
ghtheFrenchdoors,therollingscenerymadeher
feelasthoughtheyweremakingloveoutintheopen.
'Simon'supstairs,sleeping,'Sarasaidfeebly.
'Andwe'redownstairs,pleasuringoneanother.I'velockedthedoor,sothere'sno
needtoworry,andwe'llhearhimanyway
ifhewakesup.'
Thistime,therewerenoclothestostandbetweentheirbodies.Saralookedathim
ashestoodinfrontofher.disposingof
his,andidlythoughtthathehadamagnificentbody,lean,strong,powerfulandut
terlylackinginself-consciousness.
HISCONVINIENTMISTRESS
CATHYWILLIAMS
HARLEQUINPRESENTS2479
37
Andwhenhelookedather,hemadeherfeelthesameway.Hernuditywassometh
ingshebaskedinandhiskeeneyes
flickingappreciativelyoverherunclothedbodywasamassiveturn-
on.Thefactthatshehadalreadybeenpleasureddidnotmeanthat
hecouldn'tarouseheragain.Andagainandagain.
Afterwards,whileSaralaysupineonthesofa,JamesstrolledacrosstotheFrench
doorsandclosedthecurtains,thenhe
switchedononeofthetablelamps.
'WhataboutthepuddingI'veslavedover?'sheteasedcontentedly,lookingupat
himashestoodoverher.Sheyawnedand
stretchedandhesmiledather.Avisionofabsolutesatisfiedfulfilment.Hecould
staythereforeverfeastinghiseyesonhersmooth,
palebody,watchingthewayherbreastsmovedwhensheraisedherarmsaboveh
erheadsothatthepinknippleswerelargecircles
beckoninghim.
'Youstayrightwhereyouare.'Hebeganshovingonsomeclothes,justboxershor
tsandtrousersand,asanafterthought,
hisshirt,whichhedidn'tbothertobutton.
'Don'tbesilly,you'retheguest.'Butshejuststretchedagain,languidly,andraise
dherheavyeyestohis.
'Which,ofcourse,means,'hedrawledwithlazyintent,'thatyouhavetomakesur
ethatI'monehundredpercentsatisfied,
andyoucanstayrightthereandthinkofallthewaysyoucandothat.Inthemeanti
me,Ishallfetchusbothourdessert,mademoiselle,
justsolongasyoutellmewheretofindit.'
'Larder.Justsomeicedbrownies,I'mafraid.I'mlousyatdesserts.'Butwhatjoyh
avinghimfetchthemforher.Therewasa
throwononeofthechairs,andshereallyshouldcoverherselfwithit,buttheeffort
involvedseemedalittlebittoomuch.Besides,and
sherevelledinthisthought,wouldn'thejusttearitoffhertheminutehereturned?
Shewasawareofhimreturningevenbeforehereenteredtheroomwiththeplateo
fbrowniesinonehandandtwoglasses
ofwineprecariouslyintheother.
Saraproppedherselfuponherelbowandsurveyedhimashedepositedthewineo
nthetableinfrontofthem,thensaton
thesofabyher,depressingitwithhisweight.
Hedippedhisfingerintosomeicingandheldthefingerouttoherlips,whichshep
roceededtosuckwithhereyes
tantalisinglyfastenedonhis.
'Good?'
Saranodded.
'Well,I'dbettertrysomeformyself,inthatcase.'Atwhichherepeatedtheexercis
e,butinsteadofproferringhisfingerto
hisownmouthhespreadasampleononeofhernipplesandthenohshecould
onlymoanashelickeditoffverythoroughly
beforedoingthesamewiththeotherachingnipple.
Shewaslikeacatbeingstrokedandstretchingitselftoitsfullestsothatthestrokin
gcouldlastforever.
Forever.
Jamesdidn'tpauseinhisministrationsofhereagerbody.Therealisationcreptov
erhimanditwassomethingthathehad
knownforawhile.
Forever.
Itwasagoodplacetobe.
CHAPTERNINE
Jamessatathisdesk,hislonglegsstretchedoutinfrontofhim,plantedsolidlyont
heshiny,polishedsurface.Atleasthe
knewthattherewouldbenointerruptionsofanykind.Everyonehadgonehome.
Hehadallthetimeintheworldtoreflect.Shame
thatthereflectionswereofsuchasordidnature,butthenhehadhadampletimeto
considerthatitservedhimright.
FromtheminutehehadlaideyesonSaraKing,hehadstupidlythrownallhisnatu
ralcautiontothewinds.Evenwhenshe
hadspunhimherpatheticlittlestoryaboutnotwantinghimaroundbecauseshew
asn'tpreparedtohaveanaffair,hehadgone,onlyto
returntheminuteshehadcrookedherfinger.Andhowhisstupidityhadreturned
tobitehim.
Helookedcoldlyatthesmallblackandgoldbagburningaholeonthedesk.Think
ingabouttheringinsideonlymadehim
moreenraged,but,likeSisyphustoilingupthemountain,itseemedthathehadno
choicebuttostareatitandgrimlyacknowledgehis
misplacedtrust.
Ofcourse,hewouldhavetodealwithit.Hehadbeenplayedforafoolandhehadn
ointentionofallowinghertheluxury
ofthinkingthatshehadgotawaywithit.
Heswunghislonglegsfromthedeskandwithinminuteshewasonthephone,ma
kingarrangementswithhispilotforhis
flightuptoScotland.Thenheslippedthebagintohisjacketpocket.Touchingitm
adehim grimacewithdistastebuthealmost
enjoyedthefeelingofrepulsionbecauseitwasastrongandnecessaryremindero
fthefactthathehadbeentakenforafool.
Thehelicopterwouldleaveinanhourandahalf.BythetimehemadeituptotheHi
ghlands,itwouldbeafterten.His
motherwouldprobablybeasleep.Hehadn'ttoldherthathewouldbearrivingada
yaheadofschedule.Hehadn'tknownithimself,
notuntilthisafternoon.
Ifhehadanysense,hewouldleavetheinevitablemeetingwithSarauntilthemor
ning,buthewasn'tfeelingsensible.
Besides,hetoldhimself,shewouldhaveSimonaroundinthemorning.Themin
utesherealisedthathewasontohershewouldhide
behindherson,knowingfullwellthatafull-
blownargumentwouldthenbeoutofthequestion.AndJamesfeltripeforafull-
blown
argument.
Farfromcalminghim,theflightupgavehimalittlemoretimeforhisragetointen
sify.
HismindwanderedbacktotheconversationhehadhadwithLucyCampbell,wh
ohadcalledhimatworksimplyonthe
spurofthemomentbecauseshehappenedtobeinLondon.Theyhadhadlunchat
oneofthetrendierplacesthatLucyadoredbecause
theygavehertheopportunitytolookatpeopleandknowthattheywerelookingat
her.
Lordknew,hewouldneverhavefoundoutabouttheconversationshehadhadwi
thSarabutacoupleofglassesofwine
hadputherinamellowmood,and,fromteasinghimaboutthefactthattheRector
yhadpassedhimby,shehadconfidedthatshehad
explainedhisdesiretogethishandsonittothecurrentowner,just,shehadadmitt
edsheepishly,toseeherreaction.Jealousypureand
simple,shehadadmittedairily.Afterall,hadn'tshebeenafterthebiggestfishint
ownformostofheryears?But,nowshehadgot
herselfaboyfriendwithwhomshewasheadoverheels,shecouldbeopenandho
nest.
IthadtakenhimonlyamatterofsecondstoworkoutwhySarahadsuddenlydecid
ed,outoftheblue,togetintouchwith
him,tothrowherselfathim.Revengethroughseduction.Hedidn'tcarewhather
reasonshadbeen.Allhecouldfeelwashisownraw
painandallhecouldthinkwasthathehadbeenonthebrinkofproposingmarriage
,ofbecomingthevulnerableidiotonceagain.
HISCONVINIENTMISTRESS
CATHYWILLIAMS
HARLEQUINPRESENTS2479
38
Vulnerable.Idiot.Twowordsthathadneverbeforeenteredhisvocabulary,oran
yoneelse'sforthatmatter,whenitcameto
describinghim.
Aspredicted,itwasalmostaquarterpasttenbythetimethehelicoptertoucheddo
wnontheestateandgettingonfortenthirtywhenhiscarpulledupoutsidetheRec
t
ory.
Hehadn'tevenbotheredtogointothemanor.Insteadhehadgonestraightfromhe
licoptertocar,withhisbriefcaseslung
intothebackseat.
Ashehadhalfexpected,thelightswereoutattheRectory.Ifshewasupinbedshe
probablywouldn'thearhimbangingon
thekitchendoor,sohewenttothefrontdoorinsteadandkepthisfingersdepresse
donthebelluntilheheardtheshuffleoffootsteps.
Therewasnopeepholeinthedoor.TheRectoryhadneverbeenupdatedtoinclud
esuchmodernconveniences.Therewas,however,a
keychainandsheopenedthedoorjustenoughforhimtoseeherpeeringoutathim
withafrown.Thefrownturnedtodelighted
surprise.
Tousledredhairstreamingdownherback,eyesstilldrowsybutsexilyso,mouth
curvingintoasmileofgreetingasshe
unlatchedthedoor.Italladdeduptoawomaneagerlypleasedtoseehermanunex
pectedly.
Thewomanshouldgointoacting.ShewouldbeanaturalcandidateforanOscar.
Hewonderedwhethershehadsimulatedpleasurewhentheyhadmadeloveasw
ellorhadshegroundherteethtogether
andstuckitoutbecause,attheendoftheday,allshewantedwasachancetopayhi
mback?
Itgalledhimtothinkthat,ashefollowedherintothekitchen,hewasstillhalfhopi
ngthathisconclusionshadallbeen
wildlyoffcourse.
'Whatonearthareyoudoinghere,James?'shetossedoverhershoulder.'Ithough
tyouweresupposedtobeflyingin
tomorrow.'
'MybusinessdinnerwascancelledsoIthoughtImightaswellcomeafewhourse
arlierthanplanned.Pleasedtoseeme?'
Herevelledmasochisticallyintheneedtohearherbeautifullipsformulatetheirr
eadylies.Shedidn'tlethimdown.Infact,sheswung
aroundandwoundherarmsaroundhisnecksothatshecoulddrawhim
towardsher,andinsteadofpullingbackheattackedher
mouthwithanaggressionthatstartledher.Thoughnotforlong.Ifshecouldfake
passionthenshediditverywell,hethought,
becausehermouthalmostimmediatelyrespondedtohisurgentplunderandher
bodycurvedagainsthis.Hecouldfeelhimselfget
hardinresponseandheroughlypushedheraway.
Oh,no.Nottonight.Sexwasdefinitelynotonthemenutonight.
'Wereyousleeping?'heasked,leadingthewaytothekitchensothatshewasoblig
edtofallinstepwithhim.
'What'swrong?'
Jamesturnedaroundtofindherstaringathimfromthedoor,asmallfrownreplaci
ngherearlierexpressionofdelight.
'Wrong?'
'Youseemalittlestrange.'
'Mustbethestressofwork,'heliedsmoothly,watchingherwatchinghim.Shewa
sjustalittletooobservantforhisliking
anditirkedhimtorealisethatshepossessed,unusuallyforawomanoratleastany
ofthewomenhehadeversleptwith,atalentfor
readinghismoods.
Sheseemedtoaccepttheexplanation,atleastforthemoment,andfilledthegapb
ychattingaboutwhatshehadbeenupto.
BuyingschooluniformsforSimon,gettingtomeetafewmoreofthelocalwome
nherownageataninformalcoffeemorningfor
someofthemumsattheschool,tryingtobakeacakeandoh,shehadboughtsixchi
ckensandintendedtohavefarm-fresheggsevery
day.
Jameslistenedtothissagaofruralcontentmentwithoutsayinganything.Event
ually,Sara'svoicedwindledawayandthe
silencewasnotthekindshehadbecomeusedtowithhim.Itwasn'tthecompanio
nablesilencetheyalwaysshared.Thisquiethadan
edgetoitanditfrightenedher.
'Whyisworksostressfulatthemoment?'sheasked,searchingforthemostobvio
usexplanationforhispeculiarbehaviour.
Shemustbeimaginingit,ofcourse,becausewhyelsewouldhehavecometoseeh
eratthistimeofthenightifnottoberelaxedin
hercompany?
'Workisalwaysstressful.'Hehadmadeapotofcoffeeandhehandedheracup,re
movinghimselftotheoppositeendof
thekitchentable,fromwhichhecouldinspectherfromarelativedistance.'Didn'
tyoufindthatwhenyouworkedinLondon?'
'Well,yes.'Shetriedabrightsmilebutitfelt,wornattheedges.Itwaslate,eventho
ughshenolongerfelttired,andthe
expressiononhisfacewasdisturbingheratsomeindefinablelevel.'Butthenwit
hachildintow,lifetendstobestressfulatthebestof
times.'Moresilenceinneedoffilling.Andnotamovetotouchher.Bynowtheyw
ouldnormallybealloveroneanother,unableto
stopthemselvesfromtouching,liketeenagersexploringoneanotherforthefirst
timeinsteadoftwoadultswhohadalreadymadelove
moretimesthanshecouldremember.
'So,livingheremustbeadreamcometrue.'Heshotheracoolsmileandnotedwith
satisfactionthedampeningeffectit
had.Thelovelymouthbegantodroopandhereyestookonaguardedwarinessth
atstillhadsomepower,infuriatingly,topiercethe
partofhimthathehadgalvanisedintoself-mending.
'I'mnotsureaboutadreamcometrue,'Sarasaidwithahesitantsmile.'Butyes,the
re'sacertainmagicthatIwouldnever
havebelievedtoexistwhenwefirstarrived.'
'No?'
Forsomereasonshehadneverconfessedtheimmediatedislikeshehadfeltforth
eplacewhenshehadfirstarrived.Hiding
awayintheRectoryratherthangoingintothetownnowseemedlikeadistantdrea
m.Perhapsshehadshiedawayfromthatlittle
admissionbecausetoinsulttheHighlandswouldhavebeentoinsulthim.Andth
enlater,shefoundthatshecouldn't.
Butnowshefeltuncomfortablygoadedintoramblingon.
'IguessitwassuchanenormouschangefromLondon.Well,youofallpeoplemu
stknowwhatImean,butthenit'salways
beendifferentforyoubecauseyou'vealwayslivedhere.'Nowshecouldhardlyb
elieveshehadstuckitoutinLondonforsolong,and
withSimonaswell.Mad.'WhenIfirstcameup,well,IwasconvincedthatI'ddon
ethewrongthing.IthadseemedlikefatewhenI
foundoutthatI'dbeengiftedthisplaceandIgrabbedholdoftheopportunitywith
bothhands,butleavingLondonwasawrench.I'd
becomeaccustomedtothenoisesandthechaosandthewaythateverythingwasl
ivedinthefastlane.Always.Abitlikeyourmum
musthavefeltwhenshemoveduphere.'
HISCONVINIENTMISTRESS
CATHYWILLIAMS
HARLEQUINPRESENTS2479
39
Mentionofhismothermadehislipsthin.Hisdearmamawasnotgoingtolikethis
turnofevents.Shehaddevelopeda
greatdealofaffectionforSimonandforSaratoo,cometothat.Herpointedlytact
fulsilenceonthesubjectofhersonfinallyfinding
thewomanofhisdreamswasproofgalorethatthatveryprospecthadbeenrunnin
gthroughherhead.
'Course,Simonadoresituphere.'Shewaswittering.Shenervouslygulpedsome
ofhercoffeeandwonderedwhetherhe
wouldtakeuptheconversationifsheremainedsilentorwhetherhewouldjustsit
there,withthatdisconcerting,forbiddingexpression
onhisface,untilshebeganwitteringagain.
'Soyou'vesaidbefore.'
'I'msorry.Repeatingmyself.Mustbegettingold.'
Silence.
'Iwishyou'dtellmewhat'swrong.'Thepleawaswrenchedoutofherandshelaug
hedtoconcealthefearthatwas
beginningtoconsumeher.Fearofwhat,though?
'GuesswhoIsawtoday.'
'Idon'tknow.Tellme.'
'LucyCampbell.Yourememberher,don'tyou?Itwouldappearthatthetwoofyo
uhavemet.Small,attractiveblonde
giventogossip.'Hesippedsomecoffeeandwatchedherfaceasshedigestedthis
pieceofinformation.
'Small,attractiveblonde.'Sothiswaswhereitwasleading.Hisunexpectedappe
aranceatherhouse,hisbrooding
expression,thewayhewasmakingverysurenottocometooclosetoher.Hewase
ndingtheiraffair,ifthatwaswhatitwas.Thefact
thatshehadintendedtobetheonedoingtheendingneveroccurredtoher.Shehad
lostsightofheroriginalplantousehimtheway
hehadusedher.Allshecouldthinkofnowwastheprospectofneverseeinghima
gain.Nomoresharedlaughter,nomoreofhisdry
teasing,nomoreofthatwonderfulfeelingofwaitingforhim
toknockonherdoor,nomorelosingherselfintheirlovemaking,
thinkingeverythingwasallrightintheworld.
HehadfoundsomeoneelsejustasPhilliphadfoundsomeoneelse,thoughstrang
elylosingPhilliphadbeennothing
comparedtowhatshefeltnow,eventhoughhehadfatheredtheirsoninthecours
eoftheirbrief,doomedrelationship.
'Yes,IbelieveIdorememberher,nowthatyoumentionit.'Theclevergirlhadspil
ledthebeansabouthisplanstobuythe
Rectoryfromunderherfeet,andlookatthat,shehadgothermanintheend.
'Ithoughtyoumight.'
'Well,'Sarastoodupandcarriedhercuptothesinkthensheremainedthere,withh
erbackpressedagainstthecounterand
herhandssplayedoutoneithersideofher,'youreallyneedn'thaverushedoverhe
retotellme,James.Couldn'tithavewaiteduntil
morning?Thesethingshappen,afterall,don'tthey?'Sheshruggedandlowered
hereyesforasecond.
'Whatthings?'
'Isupposeyoutwoweredestinedforalifetogetherfromanearlyage.Isn'tthatho
witworksinthispartoftheworld?'
'Arrangedmarriages?'Hislipcurledincolddistaste.
'Well,maybenotarrangedbutexpected.'Noroomforseriousinterloperstocom
ealong,althoughshehadneverbeena
seriousinterloper,hadshe?Theyhadnevertalkedaboutcommitmentorafuture
together,andhehadcertainlynevermentionedthe
loveword.
'Twomothersmakingplansfortheirlittletoddlerscrawlingaroundonthegroun
dtogether?Theperfectmatchofchildren
withsimilarbackgrounds,usedtosimilarlifestyles'Shefelttearsofself-
pityprickingthebacksofhereyelids.Differentplace,same
oldstory.Thedaughterofamarkettradershouldneverdarehopefortheimpossi
blewithamanlikeJamesDalgleish.Ditchedbytwo
menforbasicallythesamereason.Mustbesomesortofrecord.
'Youinsultmymother,'hesaidcoldly.'Youalsoseem
toforgetthatshecamehereasanoutsidersothethoughtof
marryingmeoffattheageoffourtoasuitablelocalgirlwouldneverhaveoccurre
dtoher.NoramIthesortofman,'helaughed
shortly,'tomeeklymarryawomanbecauseshefulfilstherightcriteria,eventhou
ghthere'salottobesaidforanarrangementofthat
nature.'
Hiswordsshouldhavefilledherwithreliefbuttheydidn'tbecausehisexpressio
nhadn'tsoftened.
'Besides,'headdedsilkily,'Lucyhasfoundherselfamanandfromallaccountssh
e'smadlyinlove.'
'Oh.That'snice'Nowshewasconfused.
'Isn'tit?'Hepushedhischairbacksothathecouldstretchouthislegsinfrontofhi
mandaffordhimselfawonderfulview
oftheapprehensivewomanstillgluedtothekitchensinkcounter.'Although,ofc
ourse,shewascarryingatorchformewhenyoulast
spoketohernow,whatwasityoutalkedabout?'
'I Idon'tremember.'
'ThatIfindhardtobelieve.'Heraisedhiseyebrowsinamimicryofincredulousdi
sbeliefandSarasuddenlyfeltlikea
rabbittrappedintheheadlightsofanoncomingcar.Anoncomingcarthatwasful
lyawareofitsexistencebutdeterminednottostop.
'Youmusthaveamemorylikeaknife.Partandparcelofthetrainingyouwouldha
vegonethroughforthatjobofyours.'
'Iwishyou'dstopplayinggames.Justtellmewhat'sgoingon.Whydidyoucome
heresolate?TotellmethatawomanI
metoncehasgotaboyfriend?Ican'tthinkthatsharingthatpieceofinformationre
allynecessitatedadrivehereatten-thirtyinthe
evening!'
Hercheekswereflushedandhecouldseetheconfusioninhereyes.
Maybe,hecaughthimselfthinking,hehadbeenwrongabouther.Maybehehada
ddedtwoandtwotogetherandarrivedat
five.
'ShetoldyouthatIhadwantedtheRectoryforyears.'Hesawtheconfusioninherg
loriouseyescloudoverwithsudden
guiltandtheresponsewasdamning.'Didn'tshe?'Hesmiledcoldlywhenshedid
n'tanswersohecontinuedwithhisinexorable
monologue.'AndnaturallyyouassumedthatthereasonIhadshowninterestiny
ouwasthatIwantedsomethingfromyou.Please,feel
freetocontradictmeatanypoint.'
'Whydidn'tyoutellmefromthebeginningthatyouwereinterestedinbuyingmy
house?'Herheartwashammering.Let
himshowerherwithaccusations.Shewasn'tgoingtositdownandplaytheeasyv
ictim.
Heflusheddarkly,grudginglyadmiringherabilitytotosshisargumentrightbac
kinhisface.Whichdidn'texcuseher
behaviour,heremindedhimself.She'dusedhimandwhatreallyfilledhimwiths
elf-disgustwasthefactthatheallowedhimselftobe
usedbecausehecouldn'tkeephishandsoffher,becauseheenjoyedhercompany
,becausehebecameaddictedtoituntilallthat
rubbishaboutmaritalblissandhappy-ever-
afterstoriesendedupscramblinghisverysharpbrain.
'MaybeImetyouanddecidedthattheownerwasmoreimportantthanthebricksa
ndmortar.'
HISCONVINIENTMISTRESS
CATHYWILLIAMS
HARLEQUINPRESENTS2479
40
Saralaughedalittlehysterically.
Howhadallthisgonesodisastrouslywrong?Threehoursagoshewasdishingou
tfishfingersforhersonandhappily
contemplatingseeingthemanwhowasnowshootingherdowninflames.
'Ormaybeyoujustdecidedthatitwouldbeeasiertogetwhatyouwantedifyoustr
ungmealong!'
'Isthatwhenyoudecidedthattwocouldplayatthatgame?Soafteryourhigh-
principledexitfromourrelationshipyou
telephonedmeoutofthebluesothatyoucouldrestartthingsbetweenusbutonyo
uragenda?'Hisguiltthatshemighthavehada
pointinbeingfuriouswithhimifshehadtrulybelievedthathehadsoughthercom
panyfornootherreasonthantosoft-soapherinto
gettingwhathewantedwasimmediatelybanishedbyherfailuretodenyhisaccu
sation.
Hethoughtoftheringrestinginhisjacketpocketandanyinclinationtoseeherpoi
ntofviewwasstillborn.
Shehadusedhimandhewasn'tamantobeused.Notunderanycircumstances.
'Isupposethatwasmyinitialreasonforcallingyou,'Saraconfessedinalowvoice
,'andI'mnotproudofmyself.'Shetook
adeepbreathandforcedherselftocontinue.'Idon'tthinkthere'sanythingtobega
inedfromrevengebutyouhavetounderstand'
'Oh,Ido,doI?'Jamesinterruptedharshly.'Ithinkyou'reconfusingmewithsome
oneelse.'
'Couldyoujustlistentome?Foraminute?'Thepleadingwasbackinhervoicebut
shejustcouldn'thelpitandshewas
desperatetocleartheair,togetacrossherpointofview.
'Ineedadrinkandsomethingalittlestrongerthanacupofbloodycoffee.'Hepush
edhimselfoffthechair,knowingfull
wellthathereallyshouldceasethispointlessdebatebecauseitwasn'tgoingtolea
danywhere.Butnotyet,hetoldhimself.Hejust
couldn'tletgoofityet.Itwasaformofweaknessand,dammit,heknewthat,could
havekickedhimselfforit,buthecouldn'thelp
himself.Onestiffdrinkandhewouldclearoff,shakethiswomanoffhimforgood
andgetbacktonormality.
"There'ssomewhiskyinth'
'Iknowwherethewhiskyis.Youforgetwhatagoodjobyoudidofmakingmefeel
rightathomeinyourhouse.'
Hevanishedtowardsthesmallutility,whereshewastemporarilystoringherme
agresupplyofalcohol,andwhenhe
returnedhewascarryingastubbyglasscontainingageneroussupplyofthebrow
nliquid.
Heresumedhispositiononthechair.Inquisitorwithhissuspecttrappedinfronto
fhim.Oratleastthatwashowitfeltto
Sara.
'Iknowyou'reangry.Furiouseven.AndIdon'tblameyou,butIwasprettyangry
myselfwhenIfoundoutthatyouhad
plansformyhouse.Iimaginedthattheonlyminorobstaclewastakingcareofme
and,insteadofbeingupfrontandhonest,you
decidedtotakecareofmeinyourownway.'Theybothhadapointofview
sowhywasitthatshefeltliketheonewhowas
floundering?'I'dbeenthroughPhillip'
'Oh,stophidingbehindyourex,usingonebadrelationshipasanexcusetojustify
yourbehaviour.'Hepeltedamouthfulof
drinkdownhisthroatandshotherasteely,grimlook.
'I'mnothidingbehindanyone!I'mjusttryingtoexplainhowIfeltwhenIdecidedt
oto'
'Reversethetables?Takecareofmeinyourownway?'
'Iwasangryandhurt.'Shelookedawayandbitherliptocontrolthefloodofemoti
oninsideher.
'Andputthosetwotogetherandwhatelsedoyougetbutalittledollopofcold-
bloodedrevenge?'
'Itwasn'tlikethat,'Saramuttered.Shetookacoupleofshakystepsforwardtotrya
ndclosetheyawningchasmbetween
them,buttheexpressionoficydislikestampedonhisfacewasenoughtomakehe
rswerveawayuntilshetoowasbackinheroriginal
position,elbowsrestingonthekitchentable,bodyurgentlyleaningforward.
'Andwhatwasitlike?'Theremainderofhisdrinkwentdownhisthroatandhehad
tosaythatithadn'tdonethetrick.He
didn'tfeelanycalmer.Hejustfeltlikeanotherone.Whichhewasn'tgoingtohave
becauseonceshe'dfinishedherprettylittlespeech
hewasoutofthere.
'ItwasitshouldhavebeenwellIwantedtobecoolandcalculatingandinc
ontrolofthesituationbut'
Againsteveryounceofbetterjudgement,hefoundthathewaswaitingforherrep
ly.
'IguessIjustwasn'tthekindofpersonwhocould
dealwithwhatIhadstarted.Iitwasfunbetweenus.I enjoyed
yourcompany '
'AndyetyoustillmadesurethatIwaskeptawayfromSimon.Nevermindallthef
unandenjoymentyouwerehavingwith
me.'
'StoptwistingeverythingIsay!'
'ButhowcanInot?Inthespaceofacoupleofhours,asIsatinawinebarinKensingt
on,youchangedintosomeoneelse.'
Hegaveheralookofkillingcontempt.'Atrulyremarkablemetamorphosis.Ho
wever,youwillexcusemeifIfailtostandbackin
admiration.'
'Ican'tstopyoufrombelievingtheworstofme,butyouwerenoangel,'Saramutte
reddefensivelyunderherbreath.Buthe
hadsaidthatthebricksandmortarhadmatteredlessthanthewomanwholivedwi
thinthem.Hadhemeantthatorhaditjustbeenhis
ownwayofmakingsurethathedidn'tputhimselfonaparwithher?Shewasracke
dbydoubtandsickenedbythemotivesthathad
propelledherintothesituationshenowfoundherselfin,eventhoughthosemoti
veshadbeenlostveryearlydowntheline.
Jamesignoredherbarelyaudibleprotest.
'Andtellme,howfardidthepretencego,Sara?Whatwereyouthinkingwhenwe
madelove?Thatitwasallpartand
parcelofyourplantoreelmeinandthenwhatconfrontmewithmyevil,wic
kedplan?'
'Oh,what'stheuseintalkingaboutanyofthis?'shesaidwearily.
'Youstillhaven'tansweredmyquestion.'
'Idon'thavetoansweranyofyourquestions.'
'Butyouaregoingto.'
'AmI?Why?BecauseIlovehearingthewayyousneerateverythingIhavetosay
?'
'Becauseyouareawomanandwomenhaveapeculiartendencynottowantanyo
netoleavethemwithalowopinion.'
'Andyoushouldknow,beingthe.masterconnoisseurofthem.'
Butnotoftheonethatmattered.Thethoughtlefthimtemporarilywinded,butthe
ntheformidableself-controltookover
onceagain,andhewasbackwiththereinsfirmlygraspedinhishands.
'Itoldyouwhenwemadeloveitwas'Thewordswerecomingoutpiecem
ealanditwasgallingtorealisethathewas
absolutelyrightaboutthenatureoftheoppositesex.Eitherthatorheknewherwe
llenoughtopredictherthoughtsandimpulses.
HISCONVINIENTMISTRESS
CATHYWILLIAMS
HARLEQUINPRESENTS2479
41
'Ididn'tlieinbedwithyouthinkingnasty,vengefulthoughts.'Shetiltedherchinu
pdefiantly.'AndIknowyouwon't
believethis,butmyintentionsingettingintouchwithyoumightnothavebeen
noblebuttheyfizzledaway.'
Heshruggedasthoughherexplanationwassomethinghecouldleaveortakeand
thatstung.Hewasn'tevengoingtotry
andunderstand.Hehadcometoconfrontherandthenhewouldleavewithoutab
ackwardglance.
Whathadshebeenforhimexceptabitoffun?Itwasallwellandgoodforhimtoad
opthishigh-handedattitude,buthe
didn'tloveherandneverhad.Hispridemightbetemporarilydented,buthewoul
drecoverwithinhours,whileshe
Jamesstoodupandthrusthishandsintohisjacketpockets.Instantlyhefelttheba
gwiththelittleboxcontainingthering
inside.
Sarascrambledtoherfeet.Itwasalloveranditseemedasifithadonlyjustbeguna
ndshedidn'twanthimtoleave.But
shewasn'tgoingtowringherhandsandbegandnotinamillionyearswasshegoin
gtotellhimthatrevengehadmatterednotonejot
becauseshehadfalleninlovewithhim.
'Andhowfar,justoutofcuriosity,wasthislittleplotsupposedtogo?'Hespokewi
thcasualindifferenceandmildinterest.
'Itoldyou,itwasn'taplot.Ididn'tspendallthattimescheming.Imadeamistake,I
actedthewayIdidbecauseIwas
angryandhurt,Ithoughtyouhadusedme,but'
Shemightwellnothavespoken.Hislongfingerscurledaroundthesmallsquare
objectinhispocketandhisfacehardened
intoacynicalsneer.
'DidyouperhapsenvisagethatIwouldfallinlovewithyou?'Hemanagedtomake
thatsoundasimplausibleasaday
returntriptothemoonandSaravisiblywinced.Hegaveabarkofdangerous,unpl
easantlaughter.'Wasthattheaimofthegame,
Sara?Didyouthinkthatyouhadwhatittooktoweaveamagicspellovermewitha
littlesexualexpertiseandsomefluttering
eyelashes?'Hewatchedthepainfulblushcolourhercheeksandfeltlikeaswine,
buttheboxwasstillsittinghotinhishandandallthe
angerwasstillthere,waitingtobefanned.
'No,ofcoursenot.Ititwasnothinglikethat'Sarastammeredbutshecouldfe
elaguiltyflushstinghercheeks.Guilty
becauseherdreamshadbeentheimpossible.Yes,shehadwantedhim
topropose.Nowthathehadvoicedit,shecouldseewith
dismayrightintothedepthsofherselfandsheknewthatshehadwantedthatslice
ofperfection,marriagetothemanshehadfoolishly
falleninlovewith.Notsoshecouldthrowitbackinhisfacewithtriumph,butbeca
useshewantedtospendtherestofherlifewith
him.
'Yourfaceisgivingyouaway.Shame.Afteryoursterlingperformanceoverthep
astfew weeks.'Hebeganstrolling
towardsthedoorandshefollowedhiminsilence.
Whenhereachedthekitchendoor,hepausedtolookroundather.Shewaswhite-
faced.Good,hethought,buttherewas
nothrillofvictory.Infact,hefeltbloodylousyconsideringhehadventedallhisa
ngerand,hetoldhimself,hadaluckyescape.
'Unfortunately,wearecertaintorunintooneanotheroccasionally,'hedrawled,'
unless,ofcourse,youdecidetomoveback
toLondon,whichisprobablywhereyoubelonganyway.'
'Iwon'tbereturningtoLondon.'Hervoicewashollowwiththeeffortofnotcryin
g.'Simonissettledhere.He'slooking
forwardtogoingtoschoolinSeptember.AndIdon'tbelonginLondonanymore.
'Whichleftherwiththeunanswerablequestionof
whereexactlydidshebelong?Shehadletherselfforgetthemistakesofthepasta
ndatsomedangerousinnerlevelhadconceivedthe
notionthatshebelongedwhereverJamesbelonged.
Jamesshrugged,oneofthoseelegantgesturesthatseemeduniquelyhis.'Yourc
hoice.ButI'mwarningyouthatwhenwe
dorunintooneanother,Ireallywouldrathernothaveanyscenes.We'rejusttwoa
dultswhohadabitoffunandcalleditadaywhen
thefunbegantogetalittlethinontheground.'
'And,ofcourse,noonewillthinktwice,willthey,'Sarasaidquietly,'becausethef
unalwaysgetsalittlethinontheground
whenitcomestoyou?'
"That'sright.'Hepulledopenthekitchendoorandnotedthatshehadstoppedafe
wfeetawayfrom him.Shelooked
thoroughlybatteredandhehardenedhisjaw
againsttheweaknessofcompassion.Shehadalreadygivenhim
alltheanswershe
neededandnowwasthetimetogetout.Thenexttimehecameuptoseehismother
,hewouldmakedamnsurethattherewasa
beautifulwomanonhisarm.Letherbeundernoillusionthatwhattheyhadwassp
ecial.Thatwouldbehislittleprivatetormentand
hewouldsoonputthattobed.
'Oh,'hesaidcasually,'andIwouldratheryouceasedhavinganythingtodowithm
ymother.'
'Youcan'tdictatewhoIseeandwhoIdon't.'
'Oh,butIcanandIdo.'Hissmilewascoldenoughtocutthroughsteel.'Idonotseet
hepointofanycosyrelationships
betweenmymotherandeitheryouoryourson.AndIsuggestyoupayverycloseh
eedtomywarningbecauseifIevercomeuptothe
Highlandsandwalkintomyhousetofindyouthere'heleftatellingpause'le
t'sjustsayyouwouldnotlikemyreaction'
Well,thingscouldn'tgetmuchworse,couldthey?Hehadpaidhissurprisevisita
nddonewhatsheassumedhehadcome
todo.Namely,reduceher.Hehadtwistedherstammeredattemptsatexplanatio
n,walkedoverherneedtotalk,sneeredatherheartfelt
apologies.Nowhewastellinghertokeepawayfrom hismother,withwhom
shehaddevelopedawarm relationshipandwhose
fondnessforSimonhadbeeninstrumentalingettinghimtomakefriends.
Withoutmakingapointorexertinganypressure,shehadarrangedacoupleoflitt
leteapartiesforsomeofthe
grandmothersofchildrenofsimilarage.Shewasacharming,delightfulwoman
andSarawouldmissher,becausesheknewthatshe
woulddoasJameshadasked.
Butshewouldn'tstopcommunicationswithoutsomewordofexplanationandth
atshewoulddointhemorning.Byphone.
Mariaalwayswokeupbeforeseven,ahabitthatseemedtocreepupwitholdage,s
hehadoncelaughed,andJamesrarelywandered
downbeforenine.Helikedtoreadthenewspapersinbedbecause,hehadoncetol
dher,itwasaluxuryhecouldneveraffordwhenhe
wasinLondon.
Shetiltedherchinupnowandfoldedherarmsacrossherchest.Shemightaswell
gooutwithsomesemblanceofdignity
eventhoughshefeltmortallywounded.
'Goodbye,James.'
Forthebriefestofsecondshehesitated,struckbytherealisationthatthistimethe
goodbyewasfinal.Thehesitationwas
swiftlyreplacedbyhisconvictionthathehaddonetherightandonlypossiblethi
ng.Hedidn'tanswer.Insteadhegaveherabrief,
mockingnodoftheheadandclosedthedoorbehindhim.
HISCONVINIENTMISTRESS
CATHYWILLIAMS
HARLEQUINPRESENTS2479
42
Yes,ithadallgoneaccordingtoplan.Hehadhadhisfull-
blownargumentbuthewasstillangry.Hemadeittohishouse
infiveminutesflat,arecordhewassure,consideringthedarknessofthesmallroa
dandtheunpredictabilityoftheturns.Hehad
drivenlikeabatoutofhell.
Helethimselfin,relievedthatthehousewasinsilenceandhismotherhadnotbee
nononeofherjauntsdowntothe
kitchentofetchherselfsomethingwarmtodrink,ahabitwhichshestillmaintain
edeventhoughtherewaseverythinginhermassive
bedroomtomakewhateversheneededwithouthavingtotraversethehouseinda
rkness.
Hewalkedthroughthevariousrooms,discardinghisjacketinthevastkitchenon
achairalongtheway,andheaded
straightforthedrinkscabinetinoneofthesmallerofthesittingrooms.
Nolovertonight,hethoughtcynically,butwhosaidtherewasn'tpeacetobefoun
dinafewglassesofveryfinemalt
whisky?
CHAPTERTEN
Wherewashe?
Wherewashe?
Oneminuteonthephone.Wasn'tthatwhattheyalwayssaid?Oneminuteonthep
hone,onemomentofdistractionanda
toddlercouldbelyingfacedowninapondorclimbingoutofawindowinanattem
pttonetapassingbutterflyor or
Sarafeltpanicram
intoherlikeafistandshehurledherselfupthestairs,shoutingouthisname,pushi
ngopendoors,
racingtoallhisfavouriteplacestoseewherehemighthavegone.
God,butitwasonlyseven-
thirtyinthemorning!Hewasstillinhispyjamas!Sheherselfhadonlyslungonap
airofjeans
andaT-
shirtsothatshecoulddragherselfdowntothekitchenafteranightofabsolutelyn
osleepwhatsoever,sothatshecouldfix
himabowlofcereal!
Nausearoseuptoherthroatasshecheckedeachroom,franticallylookingunder
beds,insidecupboards,realisingthat
therewasnoboyhidingunderneathorwithin.
Thenthegarden.
Lord,butshecurseditshiddencornersassheranlikeamaniac,pantingnowsotha
twhensheyelledhisnameitwasmore
subduedandsomehowmoredesperate.
Think.
Sheforcedherselftotryandimaginewhatcouldhavecompelledhimtorunandw
here.
Shehadbeenonthephone.ToMaria.Halfsobbing.Explainingeverything.Wo
nderingaloud,anguished,whethershe
shouldn'tjustreturntoLondon
WhethersheshouldleaveScotlandbehind
Thenitclicked.Itwaslikehavingachargeofelectricityrunthroughherbody,an
dinresponseshebegantorun.Outofthe
houseandacrossthefieldsthatseparatedthesprawlingDalgleishManorfromth
eRectory.
Itwouldbearoutehersonwouldknowwell.Hehadwalkeditoftenenoughwith
Maria,takingtheshortcutthatbypassed
thesmallroad.Thescenicroute,Mariahadusedtotellher,sothattheycouldlook
attheflowersandthebirdsandabitofwildlife
beforethemanorhouseroseupbeforethemlikeanimpregnablefortress.
Itwastheonlywayheknewhowtogetthere.
Andassheracedacrossthefields,sheknewthatthatwaswherehewas.
HehadtakenhimselfoffbecausetheconversationshehadhadwithMaria,onew
hichshehadconductedinfrontofher
son,notawarethathischildishbrainwastakingineveryword,everyshakysente
nce,hadgalvanisedhimintoflight.
Shedreadedtothinkwhattheoutcomewouldbeifhewasn'tthere.Iftherewasso
mepartofthehouseorthegardenwhich
shehadleftunchecked,someominouspartthatcouldhouseathousanddangerst
oachild.
Themanorwaswithinsightbeforeshespottedhim.Hisbrightfire-engine-
redpyjamas,thefluffybedroomslippershehad
rememberedtoputonforonce.Hewascarryinghisteddybearunderhisarmand
Mariawaswithhim,stoopingdown,listeningto
whateverhewassaying.
Shecouldbarelybreathebythetimeshemadeittowheretheywere.Thenshewas
sweepinghim upinherarms,
smotheringhimwhilehewaitedpatiently,bemused,forhertoputhimbackdow
n.
Mariastraightenedandlookedather.'Sillyboy.'Sheruffledhishairaffectionate
ly.'Seemedtothinkhewouldbeleaving
today,goingawayfromusforever,beforehecouldfindanywormsorfinishplant
ingthoselittleseedsyouboughtforhimlastweek.
Hewasworriedaboutthechickens.'SheclickedhertongueandSaramethereyes
withgratefulrelief.
'You'reanoodle,aren'tyou?'Couldhefeelthedesperationseepingoutofherlike
sweatwhensheheldhishand?
'Yousaidweweregoingtoleave.Iheardyouonthephone,Mum.'
'Iwas'SaralookedsheepishlyatMaria,whoobliginglytookupthethreadasth
eymadetheirwayintothehouse.
'Justinafoolishmood,'shemurmuredplacatingly.'Mummiessometimesgetlik
ethat.'
Simonnodded.'Iknow.'
'Shallwegohomenow?'Saraasked.
'CanIhavealookatthetrainsfirst?'
'You'restillinyourpyjamas.'
'But,Mum,Teddyhasn'tseenthetrains.Notreally.HewastiredthelasttimeIca
meover.Hefellasleep.Please?'
'Youcanhelpyourselftosomecoffee,'Mariamouthedquietlyoverhishead.'Gi
veyourselftimetocalmdown.Iknow
howyoumustbefeeling,'shemurmured.'WhenJameswasyoung,hegavemeso
methingofafrightmyself.Boys.Soverydifferent
fromgirls,Ibelieve.'
Saradidn'twanttohearaboutJames.Justthementionofhisnamemadesomethin
gdeepinsidehercontractinuntoldpain.
SurelyMariamustbeawareofthis?Afterall,Sarahadconfessedeverythingtoh
er.Hadtoldherhowshefelt,poureditall
out,andithadbeenlikeaswellofwaterburstingthroughadam.
Yetshefoundherselfclingingonlikeafooltowhateverhismotherhadtosay,a
nythingthatmightbreakthroughthe
barrierofnothingnessthathadgrippedhersinceJameshadstalkedoutthenightb
efore.
'Heranaway,youknow,'shewassaying,bustlinginthekitchennowandpouring
Simonaglassofsquash.Itwasadrink
thatshehadneverkeptinthehousebeforeandittouchedSaratorealisethatsheno
wstockedit,inpreparationforwheneverherlittle
part-timechargemightcomearound.
HISCONVINIENTMISTRESS
CATHYWILLIAMS
HARLEQUINPRESENTS2479
43
'Hecouldonlyhavebeensixorsoatthetime.Hisfatherhadbeentellinghimallab
outthesalmonfishing.Hadtoldhim
thathecouldgotoowhenhegotalittleolder.Ofcourse,'Mariasmiledinfondme
mory,'Jamesthoughtthattherewasnotimelikethe
present.IttookusanhourandahalfbeforewefoundhimandIwasneversofrantic
inmylifebefore.'Shecrossedherselfandshook
herhead.'Now,IwilltakeSimonandTeddytoseethetrains,andyoucanmakeso
mecoffeeforyourself.James,'sheloweredher
voice,'isstillsoundasleep.'
Luckyoldhim,Sarathoughtmiserably.Hownicetobeabletoclimbintobedand
knowthatyouweregoingtosinkinto
blissful,forgetfulsleep.Shewonderedwhethershewouldeverbeabletoachiev
ethatagain.
Never,shethoughthollowly.Never.Notifbeinghere,underthesameroofashi
m,couldmakeherfeelsoacutelyaware,
sohorribly,andagainstallodds,happy.Justknowingthatsomewhereinthisvast
househewasinabed,sleeping.
Thesilenceinthekitchenwrappeditselfaroundherasshefilledthekettle,listene
dtoitboil,spoonedcoffeeintoamug.
Thenshesatatthekitchentableandsippedherdrinkandstaredoutatthenever-
endingfieldsinfrontofher.
Itwasalmostashamewhensheheardthesoundoffootstepsheadingintothekitc
hen.Sheverynearlywishedthatshe
couldhavejustafewmoreminutesonherown,towallowinherthoughts,before
Simonandtheinevitabledailyroutinesweptherup
again,leavinghernotimetosavourhermisery.
Shewashalfstandingwhentheabruptnessofthesilencebrokethroughherthoug
htsandshelookedup.
ItwasneitherMarianorSimonatthekitchendoor.
'Whatthehellareyoudoinghere!'
Helookeddreadful.Sarahadafleetingmomentofsatisfactiontoseejusthowaw
fulhelooked.Hishairwaseverywhere,
stickingoutasthoughhehadspenthoursrakinghisfingersthroughit,andhischi
nwasdarkwithstubble.Moredisconcertingly,he
wasinadressinggown,whichwaslooselytiedatthewaist.
Thenthemomentwasgoneasshetookinthehostileantagonisminhisblueeyesa
ndthecoldtwistofhismouth.
'IIcameoverbecauseSimon'
'Oh,spareme.'Hestrodeintothekitchenandpouredhimselfaglassofwaterstrai
ghtfromthetap,whichheswallowedin
onelonggulp.
'Whatdoyoumean,oh,spareme!'Sheshotupfromthechairandfacedhimangril
y,handsonherhips,hergreeneyes
blazing.
'Imean,ifyouthinkthatyoucanswanuphereinanattempttomakesomepeace,th
enyou're'
'Makesomepeace?Believeme,Iwouldn'tbesuchasuchabloodyidiot!'
'Thenwhatthehellareyoudoinghere?ItoldyouIdon'twantyoutocomenearthis
house.Howmanytimeswouldyou
likemetorepeatit?'Hehadfeltlikeazombiewhenhehadrolledhimselfoutofhis
bedinsearchofsomethingtoquenchthis
horrendousthirstofhis.Thewhiskyconsumptionhadendedupbeingrathermor
eenthusiasticthanhehadintended.Hehadslungon
adressinggownasanafterthoughtonhiswayoutoftheroom.Hislegshadfeltlik
ejellyandhisheadGod,hisheadhadbeen
thumping.
Allgone.Onelookatheranditwasasifeverymuscleandnerveandporeinhisbod
yhadbeenactivatedintoalertness.
'Ifyouwouldjuststopforaminuteandlistentome'
'Listentoyou?WhyshouldIlistentoyou?'
'IcameherebecauseSimonishere'Notquitethewayithappened,but,dammit
,thesightofhimhadthrownherintoa
stateofutterconfusion.Shecouldbarelygetherwordsout,nevermindputthemi
nordersothattheymadesense.
'Youmeanyouhadthenervetobringyoursonuphere?'Heslammedtheemptygl
assontothekitchencounterandSara
wassurprisedthatitdidn'tshatterintoathousandpiecesundertheferocityoftheg
esture.'Isupposeyouthoughtthatyoucould
wheedleyourwayintomymother'sgoodbooks?Youdisgustme.'
'Don'tbesuchanegotisticidiot!'Shepushedherhairawayfromherfaceandglare
dathim.Lovinghimandhatinghimand
hatingherselfforfeelingsoinvigoratedevenaftereverythingthathadbeensaid
andalltheaccusationshurledather.Evenwhenhe
wasstaringatherasthoughshewassomethingvilethathadcrawledoutfromund
erarock.
'Ididn'tbringSimonupheresothatImightbumpintoyouandstartgrovellingforf
orgiveness!AndIdidn'tbringhimup
heretotryandwheedlemywayintoanyone'sgoodbooks!Iwouldn'tbehereatall
ifhehadn'trunaway!'
'Runaway!'Therampantdisbeliefinhisvoicemadethatsoundasthough,asfara
sexcuseswent,shehadcomeupwith
somethingthathoveredverynearthebottomofthepile.
'That'sright!IwasonthephoneandwhenIturnedaroundandlookedforhim,h
ewasgone!Iwasoutofmymindwith
worry!IonlyrealisedwherehemighthavecomewhenI'dsearchedthehousefro
mtoptobottom !'
'Andwhywouldyourealisethathemighthavecomehere?'
Therobewasaltogethertoodistracting,Sarathoughtfeverishly.Shecouldseet
oomuchofthathard,bronzedtorsoandto
seewastoimagineathousandthings.
'Because'Shefaltered,andwhenhereyesmethisshecouldseethecoldglitter
oftriumphinhisblueones.
'Because?'Heturned,pouredhimselfanotherglassofwater,whichhedowne
dinanotherlonggulp,andthenlookedat
her.'Yourlittlepieceoffictiongettingalittletooinvolved?'
'Oh,stopit.'
Shesankherheadinherhandsand,foolthathewas,heactuallywantedtogoacros
stoher,closethedistancebetween
them.Hismouthtightenedinself-
disgustandhewondered,notforthefirsttime,howhecouldhavebeenthrougho
necatastrophic
loveaffairallthoseyearsago,onlytorepeattheexperiencelikeachildstickinghi
sfingersintoanopenfiretwiceinsuccession.
Notthathehadknownanythingaboutloveasayoungman.No,hehadwaitedtilln
ow tofallheadoverheelswith
someonewhohadpulledhisstringsasifhehadbeennothingbutapuppet.
'Irealisedhemusthavecomehere,'Sarasaidquietly,raisinghereyestohis,'beca
useIwasonthephonetoyourmotherat
thetime.Youforgethowmuchchildrentakein.Simonwassittingatthekitchent
able,eatinghisbreakfast,notmakingasound.I
almostforgothewasthereatall.'
'Andwhatwereyoutalkingtomymotherabout?'Heshovedhimselfawayfromt
hecounterandmovedtowardsherbefore
sittingdownheavilyonthechairfacinghersattheoppositeendofthetable.'Isup
posemakingupsomelieaboutmyroleinallthis?
Youseemparticularlygoodatdissembling.'
'Iwasn'tmakingupanyliesaboutanythingandI'mnogoodatdissembling.'
'Really?Ibegtodiffer.'
HISCONVINIENTMISTRESS
CATHYWILLIAMS
HARLEQUINPRESENTS2479
44
'StopbehavingasthoughI'mtheonlydemoninallofthis!Asthoughyou'reentitl
edtowearahalo!Youcultivatedme
becauseofwhatyouthoughtyoucouldgetfromme.Youseducedmeto'
'Togetnothing!'Hebangedhisfisthardonthetableandthenclenchedandunclen
chedhishandsasthoughbarely
controllinganoverwhelmingurgetodoviolence.'Imighthavethoughtatthebe
ginningthatitwouldbehelpfultogettoknowyou,to
findoutwhetheryouintendedtoremainintheplacebutatnopointwouldIhav
egonedowntheroadofclimbingintoyourbedso
thatIcouldgainunfairpossessiontothekeytoyourhouse!'
'Youcan'tblamemeforthinkingthatyouwould!'
'Becauseyouconsidermesuchalowformoflife?'
'BecauseI'dbeenhurtonceandI'Saradrewinadeepbreathandlookedathimst
eadily.Whenitcametothecrunch,
therehadbeentoomanymisunderstandings.Thiswouldbethelasttimeshewou
ldeverhaveherchancetospeaktheutter,unadorned
truthandshewasgoingtograspit.
'IwasfoolishenoughtothinkthatIhadbeenusedagain,hurttwice.Except'
Hewasstilllookingatherbuttherewas
adeathlystillnessinhiseyesthatwasdrainingallhercourageaway.'Exceptwhat
Phillipdidtomedidn'tseemsoimportant,notnext
towhatyouhadaccomplished.BecausewhatIfeltforhimlook,Simonranove
rherebecauseofsomethingIsaid.Itoldyour
motherthatIwasthinkingofleaving,goingbacktoLondonhegotworried.'
'Youweresayingaboutyourex-
lover.Idonotbelieveyoufinishedyoursentence.'
'You'remakingmenervous.Iwishyouwouldn'tstareatmelikethat.'
'Wherewouldyoulikemetolook?Atthewalls?Theceiling?'Hisvoicewasscath
ingbuthisfacewasastudyin
attentiveness.Itwouldbethelasttimeshewouldcommandquitesomuchattenti
onfromhim.Youcouldhearapindrop.
'WhatIfeltforhimwasnothinglikewhatIfeltforyou.Correction,feelforyou.Iw
asyoungandinnocentwhenIgot
involvedwithPhillipandwhenitallwentwrong,well,IthoughtIwouldneverre
cover.WhenIlookbackonitnow,IseethatI
recoveredveryquickly.Iwasbitter,ofcourse,onSimon'sbehalf,andangryasw
ellthathehadrejectedhisownson,butIgotonwith
living,working,beingamother.Butwithyou'Shelookedathimhelplessly,k
nowingthatoneharshwordwouldreleaseherfrom
herneedtopoureverythingoutbeforetheywalkedawayfromoneanotheronela
sttime.
Butnoharshwordwasforthcomingandhisexpressionrevealednothing.
'Iwassoutterlydevastated,James,thatyes,Iwantedtoretaliate,wantedtoseduc
eyoutoteachusbothalesson.Mea
lessoninnottrustingandyoualessonintakingadvantageofmeIdidn'tstopto
wonderhowitwasthatseductionshouldhavebeen
soeasy,sopleasurable.Ishouldhavehatedyou,shouldhavehatedyoutouching
me,shouldn'tI?ButIdidn'tandthereasonIdidn't
wasthatIhadfalleninlovewithyou.There.Now,youcanthrowthatbackinmyfa
ce,but'
'You'reinlovewithme.'Pure,undilutedhappinessstoleintohisheartlikeathiefi
nthenight,notthatshewaslookingat
himwiththewonderingeyesofawomaninlove.Moreglaringathim,andhecoul
dn'thelphimself.Hesmiled.Along,slow,utterly
satisfiedsmile.
'Yes,it'sfunny,isn'tit?'Sarasnapped,springingtoherfeetandstridingacrosstoh
im,handsfuriouslyonherhipsandher
hairtousledacrossherface.'Positivelyhilariouswhenyouthinkaboutit.Somuc
hforeveningthestakes!You'llbethrilledtoknow
thatIdidn'tmanagetoachieveanythingatallexcepttodigmyselfdeeperintothe
holeIwashopingtojumpoutof.Hysterical.Ican
seeyouthinkthatfromthegrinonyourface.'
Sheturnedtowalkaway,togoandgethersonsothatshecouldleavethisplacewit
houtcompletelybreakingapart.
Thehandthatsnakedoutasshewasswingingaround,therefore,caughtherunaw
aresandthistimeSarafoundherself
falling.Again.Thistimeliterallyintohislap.
'Notsofast,'hepurredandthecolourroseupintohercheeksinawashofpink.
'I'vesaidwhatIwantedtosay,nowletmego!Andyoucanwipethatinsufferableg
rinoffyourface!'
'No,Ican't.Now,tellmeagain.Tellmethatyouloveme'
'Idon'tintendtorepeatanythingforyourbenefit.Nowletmego!'
'No.'
'What?'Sarastruggledbutitwasimpossibletomakeanyheadway.Hisarm
wasdrapedsecurelyacrossherwaist,just
belowherbreasts.
And,feeble-
mindedidiotthatshewas,shecouldn'thelpherbodyresponding,growinghot,h
ernippleshardeningjust
becauseshewassoclosetohim,touching.
'Isaidno.Iwon'tletyougo.Iwanttosavourthismoment.'Heinchedhisarmabithi
ghersothathecouldstrokesomehair
fromherface.
'It'shorribleandrudetogloat,'shehissed.
'Thisisthesecondtimeyouhavecalledmerude.Youwillhavetoworkonmytrai
ning.'
Herresponsewaslostashismouthmethers,crushingeverywordshecouldutter,
devouringheruntilshecouldbarely
rememberwhathehadsaid,nevermindwhatshehadintendedtoask.Hekissedh
erruthlesslyandsheweaklygaveupandallowed
herselftoreturnthelethalkiss.
'Now,anymorestragglesandIshallhavetodothatagain.Againandagainandag
ain.UntilyouhearwhatIhavetosay.'
'Whichis?'Shewasshockedbyhowbreathlessshesounded.
'Whichisthatmystoryisverymuchlikeyours.Now,sh.Justlisten,mydarling.'
Mydarling?
'Haveyoubeendrinking?'
'OfcourseIhave.'
'Oh.'Disappointmenttrickledintoher,liftedwhenhegentlykissedthecornerof
herdroopingmouth.
'Lastnight.Quiteabit,inactualfact.Anythingtohelpmegetthroughthepain.'
Hereyesrosetentativelytomeethisandwhatshesawtheresentaflareofhoperac
ingthroughher,stretchingitstentacles
intoeveryboneinherbodybeforewrappingaroundherrapidlybeatingheart.
'ItoldyouthatIhadoncebeenduped.Andafterthat,Ilearntself-
control.Whenitcametowomen,theyweremy
playthings,butImadesurenevertogetinvolved.ItoldmyselfthatIwassimplypl
ayingthegameofrelationshipsaccordingtomy
rules.ThetruthwasthatInevermetawomanwhomademewanttobreakthem.U
ntilyoucamealong.'
Saralookedathim,mesmerised.Ifthiswasadream,maysheneverwakeup.
HISCONVINIENTMISTRESS
CATHYWILLIAMS
HARLEQUINPRESENTS2479
45
'Yes,IwantedtheRectory.Andifyouhadbeenanyonebutyou,Iwouldhavebarg
edinandofferedtocutyouadeal.A
verygenerousdeal.Butyouyoursmile,yourvoice,thathesitantlittlewayyou
haveoflookingeverysooftenIcouldn'tcutany
deals.AllIcoulddowasgiveintothedesiretobeinyourcompany.Whenyoumad
eamoveonmeinLondon,everythinginsidewas
tellingmetorunamileandgetbacktothelifeIusedtoknow,whereeverythingwa
sundercontrol,butIcouldn't.'
'No?'Sarasaidstupidly,andheshookhisheadruefullyandsmiled.
'No.Youhadgotundermyskin,lodgedsomewheredeepinsideme,andallIwant
edtodowasbewithyou.WhenI
realisedthat'
'No,pleasedon'tsayit.Pleasedon't.Ihaveneverbeensorrierormorestupidabou
tanythinginmylifebefore.'
'Iwaslikeawoundedanimal.IcamebackhereanddrankasmuchasIcouldbefore
Ilostinterestindrinkingandjust
wantedtosleepitoff.'
'James.'
'Willyoustayrighthere?Don'tmove.Notaninch.I'llbebackinoneminute.Ther
e'ssomethingIwanttoshowyou.'
Hewasgoneliterallytheminute,soshortalengthoftimethatshecouldhardlythi
nkofwhatitwashewantedtoshowher.
Shewastoobusybaskingintheeuphoriaofeverywordhehadjustsaid.Shewant
edtocommiteachsyllabletoheartandholdthem
closetohersothatshecouldfetchthemoutwheneversheneededto.
"Thisisforyou.'Heflickedopenthelidoftheblackandgoldboxandshecouldonl
ygapeattheexquisiteringinside.
'Butit'saring,'shesaidfoolishly.
'Correction.It'saringforyou,mydarling.HaveIrenderedyouspeechless?Tryit
on.Seeifitfits.No,letmeputiton
yourfinger.Iwanttorememberthismomentfortherestofmylife.'
'Thismoment'Anditdidfit.Perfectly.Thesolitarydiamondwasdazzling.
'I'dintendedtoaskthequestionwhenIcameupthisweekend.I'Adarkflushspr
eadacrosshischeeksandhelooked
likeaboy,grapplingtofindtherightwords.
Sobeautiful.Sheplacedherhandonthesideofhisfaceandheimmediatelyturne
ditoversothathecouldpresshislips
againstthepalmofherhand.
'Ihaven'thadmuchpracticeatthissortofthing'
'Much?'Saralaughedshakily.
'Any.IjustwanttosaythatIwaitedallmylifeforyou.IwishI'dknownthatyouwe
rerightthereallalong,inLondon,
withyourson Mydarling,willyoumarryme?'
'Absolutely.Yes,yes,yes.Marryyou,bewithyouforever,livewhereveryouwa
ntustolive'
'Whichisrighthere,ofcourse,unless'
'Righthere.'Shesighedwithexquisitehappiness.'Whowouldhavethoughtit?
RighthereiswhereIfeelIbelong,nextto
you.Justasyourmotherfeltbeingherewithyourdad.'
Thethoughtwaslikedawnbreakingoverthedeepbluesea.Righthere.Nowandf
orever.
Theirlipsmetandtheirkisswasasealofalleternity.
^
HISCONVINIENTMISTRESS
CATHYWILLIAMS
HARLEQUINPRESENTS2479
46__