Art of Love 2014 Seminar 34 - Series Finale - Mastering The Secrets To Soulful Relationships

201 4 SEMI NAR TRANSCRI PTS
Discover the Keys to Deep Connection

& Lasting Love
with Your Host, Arielle Ford
Mastering the Secrets To Conscious Relationships The Art of Love Relationship Series
Copyright Evolving Wisdom, LLC, 2014. All Rights Reserved. 1
Welcome to The Art of Love Relationship Series. We are delighted you are joining us for
our Series Finale, Mastering the Secrets to Conscious Relationships: 7 Keys to Creating
Closeness, Connection and Lasting Love, with your host, internationally bestselling author
and soulmate expert, Arielle Ford, along with bestselling author and creator of the Conscious
Uncoupling Process, Katherine Woodward Thomas.
Theres no series in the world as singularly focused on giving you the tools youll need to have a
more connected, satisfying relationship, and deeper love than you ever thought possible.
We are so glad to have you with us, and again, welcome to The Art of Love Relationship Series!
Arielle Ford with Special Guest,
Katherine Woodward Thomas, MA, MFT
Mastering the Secrets to Conscious Relationships:
7 Keys to Creating Closeness, Connection
and Lasting Love
Arielle Ford has spent the last 25 years living and promoting consciousness through all forms of media. She is
the author of the international bestseller, The Soulmate Secret: Manifest The Love Of Your Life With The Law Of
Attraction. Her latest book, Wabi Sabi Love: The Ancient Art Of Finding Perfect Love In Imperfect Relationships
has won the Silver Nautilus Book Award. Arielle has been called The Cupid of Consciousness and The Fairy
Godmother of Love. Arielle is also the creator of The Soulmate Secret Online Course which is offered several
times a year by Evolving Wisdom. She lives in La Jolla, CA with her husband and soulmate, Brian Hilliard and
their feline friends.
Katherine Woodward Thomas, M.A., MFT is author of the national bestseller Calling in The One, a licensed
psychotherapist and a highly acclaimed relationship expert who has worked with hundreds of thousands of
people throughout the world to support them in realizing their highest potentials in life, love and livelihood. She
is also the co-creator of the Calling in The One Online 7 Week Course, creator of the Conscious Uncoupling
5 step process to recover from a breakup, and the co-founder of the Feminine Power Global Community, a
thriving transformative learning community serving thousands of women worldwide. Inspired by a fervent
desire to be of service to the evolution love in the world, and the awakening of greater levels of goodness and
authentic care between us, Katherine is happily penning her next literary offering, Conscious Uncoupling: The
5 Steps to Living Happy Even After.
Arielle Ford: Hi, Everybody. Its Arielle here and I
am so excited to be with you tonight because were
celebrating the incredible experience of these past
nine days of The Art of Love Relationship Series. I
want to take just a quick moment to say a great,
big Hello! to the more than 200,000 of you from
171 countries who have come together for this really
special nale event for The Art of Love Series.
The past nine days have just been remarkable and
Im just now feeling so much gratitude. I mean the
experts were brilliant, the seminars were insightful
and full of groundbreaking tools and techniques,
all of which were totally completely designed to
improve our love lives. By gauging how many of you
came to every single seminar, its obvious that your
commitment to learning and growing and living a
more fullling life is completely of the charts. One
of the things Im most happy about is the fact that
so many of you are already closer to the deeply
connected passionate relationship of your dreams.
I want to take a second here just to really say thank
you to all of you again for being part of this series
because I created it for you, but I couldnt have done
it without you.
Before I go even a minute further, I want to welcome
my dear friend and colleague and co-host for
tonights event. Shes one of the most brilliant
women on the planet and I know many of you
already know her well. Shes the bestselling author of
Calling In The One and the creator of the Calling In
The One and Conscious Uncoupling online courses,
and shes been in the news a lot lately maybe you
saw her on The Today Show or perhaps you read an
article about her in People Magazine or The New
York Times all of this has been in connection with
Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband Chris Martin
who recently announced that theyre going through
a Conscious Uncoupling. Im sure that you can
imagine, Katherine has been in high demand ever
since, which is why Im more thrilled than ever
that shes here with us tonight. So please welcome
Katherine Woodward Thomas.
Katherine Woodward Thomas: Oh, that was so
lovely. Thank you so much, Arielle. Im just so happy
to be here with everyone to celebrate, which really
has been an amazing, incredible series. I think this is
absolutely the best one yet.
I totally agree. I think it was just beyond remarkable
and I must say that Im really, really happy that you
could join me tonight because I know just how big a
whirlwind these last few weeks have been for you.
Katherine: Well, thats really true, Arielle. The
Conscious Uncoupling work that I created has gotten
a great deal of media attention, really all around
the world, due to the generosity of Gwyneth and
Chris choice to use which I think is probably a
really hard time for them personally to introduce
a really positive alternative for how we might end
relationships with respect, with generosity and with
goodwill, really in an efort to do the least amount of
damage to ourselves, to each other, and especially
to any children who might be involved. So Im feeling
very grateful to them. You know this work has been
really close to my heart for a while now and Ive
been very, very moved though to see how quickly
Conscious Uncoupling has been embraced by the
culture at large. Its been quite shocking and moving
actually to see that.
I think it was only a matter of time, Katherine, that
Conscious Uncoupling would come to the forefront. I
mean its kind of overdue actually. The world needs it
now more than ever and its a lot like the work weve
been doing here in The Art of Love Series, really
giving people tools and tips and strategies so that
they can create a very deeply connected passionate,
fullling relationship, the kind that maybe they never
even dreamt was possible.
Katherine: Absolutely, so true, and you know at the
end of the day, I am a rm supporter of committed,
thriving, happy, healthy relationships and its actually
what inspired me to create the Conscious Uncoupling
program because Ive seen in the opportunity that
Ive had to work with so many people from all
can take some notes as we go. And even if you were
able to listen to all of the seminars that we had in the
series, I can promise you that youre probably going
to hear something come out of our mouths that you
might have missed.
Arielle: Yes, its amazing how when you hear
something for the second time it might stick even
a little better. All right, Katherine, so lets dive in for
just a few minutes here what Conscious Coupling
is all about because I know you and I, weve both
dedicated our lives to using our experience of
working with thousands of people on how to bring
deeply connected and conscious relationships into
existence, but when I asked several hundred people
in a survey what their biggest relationship challenge
was, overwhelmingly I heard the same thing which
was, I dont know how to efectively ask for what
I need. I dont know how to have these crucial
conversations. So as we looked back at what sets
a truly conscious and connected relationship apart
from an average or ordinary relationship, we saw
that there are seven key areas conscious couples
have mastered.
We covered these in the series kickof with Lisa
Nichols and we also covered them throughout the
nine days, but I want to just quickly recap them
again right now, letting everybody know that were
going to go into them in a lot more depth tonight.
Key #1: Improving your communication skills.
Key #2: Ending blame, judgment and criticism.
Key #3: Deepening intimacy and connection.
Key #4: Having soulful satisfying sex (and who
doesnt want that?)
Key #5: Healing betrayal and restoring trust.
Key #6: Creating authentic partnership.
Key #7: (And perhaps most importantly) Having play,
fun and friendship in your relationship.
around the world in helping them to nd love, that
consciously completing a relationship thats ending
where youre leaving on honorable terms and youre
doing the least amount of damage to each other and
to your children, its the number one best thing that
we can do to set ourselves up to win in love moving
forward.
We are all about inspiring and empowering people
to create happy, healthy, sustainable love and thats
why Im so thrilled and grateful to be here with you
tonight and to be focused on The Art of Love Series
that provides such incredible insight into mastering
The Art of Love, and because as you and I know,
Arielle, very few of us were born knowing how to
have good relationships.
God, isnt that the truth. Really, this is why Ive made
up my lifes work to bring more loving partnerships
into the world and why each series we create is
dedicated to empowering people with the tools and
strategies they need to nd and nurture the kind of
loving, thriving, committed partnerships that makes
all of life so much richer.
This year we focused on building a series that
dives deeply into the seven keys to having deeper
connection and lasting love. These are keys that
when mastered, really do help to foster those
very conscious couplings that you mentioned, and
were going to talk more about conscious coupling
in a minute, but needless to say, its everything a
romantic relationship should be.
Katherine: For sure, Arielle, and thats what I think
Im most excited about to dive into tonight is really
looking at those seven keys and talking about how
each of the seminars in The Art of Love Series just
zeroes in on a critical component thats relating to
these keys that really, all of us can learn to master.
Were going to be sharing with you some of the most
powerful insights, tips and tools that our experts
provided during the series so I really want to invite
all of you to grab a notebook and pen so that you
She is such a master at the art of expression and I
loved what she shared about reasons that men and
women dont communicate in her seminar Mastering
the Art of Expression: Powerful Communication
Tools to Get Your Needs MetLike Magic. It was
such a great title even.
So often women feel embarrassed or ashamed of
what it is that we need, and so we arent willing
to speak about it out loud, and I know weve
heard from many men that they are so focused
on being providers and keeping it together that it
actually doesnt occur to them that they need to
communicate. There can be huge breakdowns in
communication that end up really costing us love.
Arielle: Wow, thats so true and its really important
to know your own communication style as well as the
style your partner communicates in, so that you can
have this really open and direct conversation that
doesnt feel threatening or threatens a relationship.
Katherine, as you mentioned, Alison shared during
that particular seminar that women are ashamed or
embarrassed about what they need, and they think
they shouldnt need it or they dont deserve it, or
we should be more self-sufcient and provide it all
for ourselves. They try to just get over it or they try
to get their partner to go to a therapist, hoping the
therapist will tell their partner what they need.
Katherine: Oh yes, Ive been that therapist for sure.
I bet you have, and the thing that I learned that I
didnt know is that men often tend not to really
communicate until theyre at a breaking point. So
theyll focus on providing or getting the job done or
producing results and often theyre not even aware
that they need something until they hit a breaking
point. I just loved Alisons technique for setting up
a big conversation ahead of time by having this
little talk with your partner that says, Honey, when
we need to have a big talk, what are the words you
need to hear so you wont panic or you wont think
that youre in trouble, but youd be willing to commit
Katherine: I love those Arielle and I think each of us
is clearly at diferent places on our journey inside of
mastering all of these keys of conscious coupling.
I think all of the seminars have been incredibly
valuable for us in really deepening our skill levels. I
think were hoping that after listening to all of the
wonderful teachers that weve had in the series
sharing on these keys, that all of you are feeling a bit
more condent in these seven areas than you were
going in, and youve begun to incorporate these
distinctions and all that youve been learning into
your life.
There might be some things that you feel like youve
kind of barely grasped yet, but you know its all okay
because that might just mean that you need to listen
again and spend a little more time deepening into
these particular areas that are really speaking to you.
Arielle: Yes, exactly and its good and important to
remember that all of these keys work together and
interact with each other. We set tonight up as a way
to give you insights and tools that you can use, really
right now, starting today, to deepen your mastery of
each of these keys.
Katherine, why dont you start us of with the rst
key by really talking a bit about whats so important
about communication skills in a connected and
conscious relationship?
Katherine: Oh, for sure. I mean I think we all know,
Arielle, that one of the biggest challenges that we
collectively have in love is, and actually that can
cause our relationships to fail to realize their full
potentials or even break up, has to do with these
communication challenges. Its not that we dont
want to communicate with the person were in a
relationship with, its that we dont know how. A
lot of us didnt learn healthy communication in the
homes that we were growing up in or we havent
seen a lot of happy couples who are modeling how
to do this well in our communities. I just learned so
much about communication skills from the series,
particularly from the incredible Alison Armstrong.
Then Dr. Diana jumped in and she talked about
how critical it is to express our gratitude and our
appreciation for one another and really how critical it
is to never take each other for granted, and she gave
us some wonderful tools and techniques to make the
communication and the trust so much easier.
Oh, I just remembered this. One of the most
important things I learned in this seminar, this was
so great, was when the best time of day is to have
the big conversation with your guy, and its the
late afternoon. The reason for it is because their
testosterone levels drop a little bit and it turns out
theyre more open. Did you know that?
Katherine: I did not know that.
Arielle: I didnt either. I said okay, well thats okay,
after 3:00pm is going to be when we have the big
conversation. Then they also ofered a magic phrase
for when you need to ask for something thats really
important, and this one may seem a little obvious,
but its worth writing down and remembering, okay?
Heres what it is: Honey, I would really love it if you
would _____, and just ll in the blank.
Katherine: That simple, thats amazing. I love that
and you know we do need to hear these kinds of
reminders. Honey, I would really love it if you would
_____. Thats awesome and you know along with
increasing our communication skills, something else
that we would all be really wise to do, whether were
clearing out the residue of the past relationship or
wanting our current relationship to really ourish and
thrive is to end blame and judgment and criticism,
both towards ourselves and towards our partner.
This is the second key to creating a conscious and
connected relationship.
Arielle: Yes, absolutely. I think so many of us think
that avoiding conict is the key to ending blame and
criticism, but I know you know that isnt true in a
conscious coupling. Couples have to actually master a
way to approach ghting that can bring them closer
together ,rather than tearing them apart, right?
Katherine: Absolutely, thats really, really true, Arielle.
some time to talk about something that could be
really important to improving our relationship?
Katherine: Oh, thats just so brilliant. She really gets
men and she really gets how these things need
to be spoken. She ofered a lot of powerful tips
and techniques like that one for improving your
communication skills. Her seminar really was one of
the highlights of the series for me for sure.
Yes, thats really why we put it on Day One. We
wanted people to start with the ability to be able
to set it up. One of the things I liked that she said
during that seminar was that one of the best ways to
have a talk was to go for a walk where youre side by
side, so youre not actually like, in each others face,
if its really a difcult conversation.
Then one of the other seminars that also talked
about ways to do this was the one we did with Dr.
Diana Kirschner and David Essel. It was called Finally
Be Heard: How to Have Crucial Conversations on
Everything from Sex to Kids to Taking Out the
Garbage. I asked them, What do you guys think
is really important for a great relationship? David
said the number one thing was trust, being able to
trust that your partner is going to follow their word
and do what they say theyre going to do. He talked
about how easy it is to say, I love you, or Youre
the one Ive been waiting for, but unless you have
this real trust, those kinds of feeling and statements
just dont have a solid foundation to grow on.
David is somebody Ive known for 20 years and hes
been working with couples for decades now, so he
knows all about what it takes to have this really solid
foundation and what can erode it. He says that in
the long run the breaking of daily trust can be just
as damaging as someone having an afair. When
the partner says over and over again, But it wasnt
my intention to upset you or to put you down or to
be late again, or whatever it is theyre saying, that
adds up over time to lack of trust and the foundation
erodes.
threaten your partner or the relationship when youre
ghting. You dont want to see a ght as a win-lose
situation but, and this was so brilliant when they said
this, they want you to reframe it as you and your
partner versus a misunderstanding, and then you
make the misunderstanding the enemy because they
really believe that when things get too heated, there
needs to be an agreement that either one of you can
call a time-out, give yourself some space to calm
down and then re-center.
For all of you out there, I just want you to know that
theres an exciting adventure ahead of you on your
relationship journey and it involves learning how to
ght fairly in a way thats a win-win.
Once you get that, then the next part of the journey
is about how to navigate money. We had this great
panel. It was called Overcoming Money Madness and
it had some really interesting ideas about how to
talk about money with your partner because as we
know, that can be a real hot button for relationships.
We had this very cool woman, Dr. Jackie Black,
and she was telling us that you should view money
conversations as building and maintaining the family
business. Isnt that a great concept?
Katherine: Yes, thats wonderful.
Arielle: I really liked that looking at it from that
perspective and she said that discussing money isnt
a set of skills that were born with and that couples
really need to develop emotional intelligence around
money and nance because when it comes to money,
love isnt enough. You have to have some skills in
order to stay happy and satised and out of the trap
of criticism and blame because we all have diferent
money styles.
Katherine: Right. I really liked that panel a lot and
I also really appreciated Gina DeVees three-step
process on how to have conversations about money
which speaks to both high level communication skills
and releasing criticism. And we can see, Arielle, how
each of these seminars is really building on the ones
before it and just increases the learning tenfold.
Arielle: Yes, nothings in a bubble here. Weve got to
In fact, those that avoid conict often have a lot of
trouble rooting a relationship down, really making
a home of that relationship. The commitment to
engaging conicts thoroughly in a healthy way
actually deepens intimacy and connection. It doesnt
lessen it.
Studies indicate that couples who never or rarely
ght are actually on the list of those who are most
vulnerable to break up. So its not about avoiding
a ght, its about ghting in a particular way thats
going to make all the diference. Eben Pagan and
his wife Annie Lalla really shared deeply about this
in their wonderful seminar, The Art of Enlightened
Fighting: How to Have Healthy Fights that Actually
Improve Your Relationship. That was one of my
favorites.
Arielle: Yes, me, too. I loved that one.
Katherine: Eben was speaking about a friend of theirs
who was having a challenge with his partner and
what would happen is that when he and his partner
were having a difcult conict is that he would take
it personally. Then hed get ofended and hed kind of
storm out of the room. Eben suggested to his friend
that hed get a journal and hed say to his partner,
I really want to understand what youre trying to
communicate to me. The important part of this
exercise is to really let the other person whos upset,
just kind of unleash all that theyre feeling, all that
theyre trying to communicate, and then what you
do is you repeat it back to your partner and you ask
them to correct you, and you keep it up until he or
she says, Yes, youve now got it.
When Ebens friend did this, he would do this with his
partner, and then he would actually go and meditate
on what his partner said to him before responding.
This actually created a massive breakthrough for
them. This is really active listening at its best, like
souped up active listening.
Arielle: Oh, I love that, souped up active listening,
yes, because whats so great about that technique
is that youre taking the trigger out of it. Youre not
trying to ght, youre trying to understand. Eben and
Annie, they really explain why its so important not to
and you can also know where your own desires or
expectations are coming from. Is this just like an old
belief structure that was just handed down to you
or is this something thats actually really true and
current and relevant to your own authentic values?
So knowing yourself is going to be really, really
important. Again, we want to be letting go of blame,
criticism and judgment of our partner and even of
ourselves, because it can be very easy to shame
ourselves, and others, in this area of money. So this
Know Thyself is really critical to having harmonious
and productive money conversations.
Arielle: It just really makes so much sense, but lets
sort of jump into another place where people tend
to get stuck. What happens when you have diferent
parenting styles and youre trying to raise a child
together?
Katherine: Oh, that was a really dynamic
conversation. This is where I think were most
stretched to show up as the best and most mature
versions of who we are and it was dealt really
beautifully in this beautiful panel that we had,
Becoming Partners in Parenting: How to Parent as a
Team Even When you Disagree.
Dr. Laura Markham who was on that panel strongly
suggests that you always want to manage your
own emotions rst in any challenging parenting
conversation. She talked about taking special care to
soothe your own fears during the conict particularly
when there are children in the mix because when
your fears are triggered, its easy to make rash
decisions that end up costing the children in the
long run. I was really glad to hear them talk about
what a very high stakes game parenting is and that
its so important to notice your own feelings, to
take responsibility for them, to be deeply interested
in hearing what your co-parent has to say, and to
making a real attempt to authentically listen to what
that person is saying, even if its diferent from your
perspective because thats the best way to make sure
that youre making wise and informed decisions when
it comes to caring for your child or your children.
Arielle: Yes, and then they also talked about how
critical it is to frame the conict in such a way that
go step by step.
Katherine: Yes, and Ginas simple communication
process is focused specically on being able to talk
about money it can also I think be applied to any
situation the rst step is to look at whether what
youre in disagreement about has to be in this either-
or category. Is there a way to make it a yes-and? I
think this is true for our communication across the
board, whats being said is true and this is also true,
to draw a wider circle around everything, all the
information, rather than get stuck in a narrow-minded
polarization.
Arielle: Yes, I totally believe that. In fact, my all-time
favorite quote, heres what it is: Its a both-and
world. Its both the way you say it is, and the way I
say it is.
Katherine: Thats great. And then the second step
that Gina suggested is to be really curious in love,
and I really love that phrase. When you come into
a conversation with your beloved where he or she
has an opposite perspective, to just stay consciously
curious about your partner and try to discover,
do your best to discover why this is so important
to him or her and really open yourself to learning
about your partner in that moment. What does your
partner most care about? What is your partner most
interested in? How can you even fall more deeply in
love with this person? Instead of seeing the conict
as a point of separation, you actually nd a way
to allow it to deepen the understanding that you
have of each other which will ultimately really only
strengthen your connection.
Arielle: Thats really beautiful. Whats her third step?
Katherine: The third step that Gina said is that were
really needing to take personal responsibility, really
for the state of our own consciousness. She just
calls it, Know Thyself and again this can relate to
conversations about money or about anything. But
you want to be really honest and really clear with
yourself about what it is that you actually want
from this conversation. You want to take the time
to really get authentic and clear within yourself so
that you can ask clearly for what it is that you want,
paradox. We grow up, we discover which behaviors
get which reactions from our family, it could be that
were the youngest and weve got to make noise to
get noticed or that we need to keep quiet to get the
attention and all of that behavior carries over into our
love relationships.
In fact Harville and Helen call these opposite types,
The Maximizer and The Minimizer, and neither is
right or wrong, but depending on which one you are,
you need to be sensitive to the fact that chances are
your partner is the opposite, which is what draws
us to each other. I totally know thats true for Brian
and me because Im The Minimizer or what they
call The Turtle. They also call this The Turtle in the
Hailstorm. We are always aware of how we balance
each other out in those diferent ways.
Katherine: Oh, thats lovely. I think thats whats
possible when we let go of blame, judgment and
criticism is that we open ourselves up to a deeper
connection and greater intimacy with our beloved,
which is actually the third key to a conscious
relationship.
Were often bringing a lot of excess baggage with us
into a relationship. Its just like clutter, that we just
havent cleared up yet and we might not even be
aware that were walking around with all of it. A really
great technique that people can use to help release
this old baggage almost instantly is EFT tapping.
Ive seen so many powerful results for those who use
tapping and I know you use it almost every day, dont
you, Arielle?
Arielle: Oh, absolutely. In fact, I was just using it last
night. I got this email that totally triggered me and
I could have like responded instantly, but I thought
you know what? Nick Ortner has taught me how to
tap. Let me sit down. I took, I swear to God, less than
three minutes, three rounds of tapping. All the angst
and adrenalin just instantly left me and I decided not
to respond and by the next morning it cleared itself
up. So I know the value of tapping and really one
of the great ways to use it in a relationship is to be
able to use it to really stress so that we can have a
deeper level of intimacy with ourselves and with our
partners.
you acknowledge that conict is a normal part of
every relationship, that theres always going to be ups
and downs, so we can see conict as a problem or we
can choose to see it as a way to grow together as a
couple and as individuals.
Katherine: Oh, absolutely. We need to nd ways to
resolve our conicts that are actually positive and
relationship-building because conict actually doesnt
necessitate hostility or meanness. We can have
respectful discussions that are safe and that allow
people to get to the heart of their diferences in a
way that really deepens understanding. These are the
ways that we want to be working at our issues and
our problems with each other.
Arielle: Yes, and really the best way to close those
kinds of discussions is to always commit to each
other to have continued compassion, to really
recognize together that even when things arent
perfect, we always want to treat each other with a lot
of love and care and respect.
Even for people who arent parents, we have to
remember that perfect compatibility with your
partner isnt the actual goal. One of the quotes that
we got from Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt
is that they said that if we were with somebody that
we were 100% compatible with, wed be bored.
They actually said we need some things to be out
of sync so we can challenge one another and help
one another grow. Once we truly understand and
integrate these ideas and these concepts, then
we wont have any need for blame or judgment
or criticism. In their seminar, it was called Feeling
Safe and Secure with your Mate: The Key to
Addressing Incompatibilities without Threatening
the Relationship. It was just chock full of wisdom and
great ideas for connection.
Katherine: Oh, absolutely and I remember something
that Harville said during the seminar that really
touched me. He said every leaf on a tree is diferent
from every other leaf, even though theyre similar.
Arielle: Oh, thats such a beautiful analogy for
how unique and how the same we all are. Its like a
or children with special needs or with the loss of a
loved one, we put so much pressure on ourselves to
get over it, to gure it out, to x it and really what
we learned from this panel of experts is that we rst
have to become self-caring and self-compassionate
and giving ourselves what we really need because we
can be there for somebody else if were taking care
of ourselves rst. We can ll ourselves up and then
still have enough left over to listen to our partners
and our loved ones and help each other deal with the
various challenges that arise.
Katherine: Absolutely, and its so heartwarming to
realize that we can create partnerships where we
really do show up for each other in this way. Its just a
beautiful way to go through life where we have each
others backs, where were showing up for the tough
times as much as were showing up for the good
times.
Arielle: Yes, Katherine, and speaking of good times,
this is key number four which is having soulful,
satisfying sex. Sometimes we get this backwards.
Theres this myth out there with couples, theres this
pervasive belief, that if you work on your relationship
the sex will take care of itself. But actually its the
opposite thats true.
We had this great panel called Embracing Your
Fantasies: How to Bring Erotic Play into Your Love
Life and it was with Reid Mihalko, Charlotte Rose and
Dr. Tammy Nelson. They really dug deep into this
wonderful and exciting and important topic and they
talked about there being two parts to a relationship.
Theres the part that is about the business of being
in the relationship, the cooking, the cleaning, the
shopping, the paying the bills, picking out the
furniture, the movies to watch, all of that. Then theres
the erotic play where you literally connect with the
energy of Eros and you relate to your partner through
it and you create what we call, Being in love.
Its where you nurture your passionate connection
and the way to do that quickly is really by being
more playful and irtatious. It keeps your interactions
charged with that sexy energy and it allows you to
more easily avoid the day-to-day arguments and
the frustrations about whos going to take out the
We did this great seminar with Nick Ortner. Its called
Coming Together: How to Use the Scientically-
Proven Tapping Method to Instantly Decrease Stress,
Resolve Conicts and Increase Love. If youre in a
relationship, or even if youre not in a relationship, but
youre struggling, and you have stress in your body,
just know that tapping works really, really well. It not
only releases stress, it can also release past traumas
and dramas as well.
Katherine: Wow! I really liked Nicks analogy where
he says that emotionally, most people show up on a
rst date with about 20 suitcases.
Arielle: I know. Isnt that brilliant? Thats where were
bringing our past tramas into the present. We cant
see the people around us clearly, but something they
say will trigger us and remind us of the past, and then
very quickly we can do this tapping sequence and it
will clear the energy out. It gets rid of that weight on
your shoulders and you can move forward.
Katherine: Yes. Another thing that we dealt with
in the series has to do with how we can deepen a
connection when going through trauma or illness.
How can we come together as a team and become
even stronger when faced with so much fear and so
much uncertainty. In the panel discussion Becoming
a Safe Refuge for Each Other: How to Support Your
Partner Through Grief, Illness and Lifes Unexpected
Difculties, psychologist Dr. Ken Druck tells us that
its kind of like the instructions that they give you
on the airplane for the oxygen mask. You have to
put yours on rst and then you have to help others
around you.
Other members of the panel, we had Christine
Arylo on that panel and then we also had Ocean
and Michele Robbins. They all shared their own
powerful and moving experiences and wisdom. They
talked about how even acknowledging that youre
in survival mode can help you to manage emotions
and responsibilities better during the most difcult
times when everything in your life seems to be turned
upside down.
Arielle: Yes, and its really in those times, whether
your spouse is ill or youre caring for aging parents
is that we need to heal from betrayal. Whether its
betrayal from a past relationship or a current one,
we need to rebuild lost trust and make that the
foundation of the relationship. I know, Katherine,
theres obviously been a lot of talk recently about
your Conscious Uncoupling process. How is that
useful for couples in this situation?
Katherine: Oh my gosh, its really useful. One of the
biggest challenges in recovering from betrayal is the
feeling of having been so victimized. It can hurt so
deeply to have someone that you love betray you,
and particularly if you didnt see it coming. You were
kind of broadsided by the revelation of the betrayal. It
can actually make a person love-shy for many, many
years to come.
You want to be able to see how the dishonesty or the
lack of communication leading up to that betrayal
was something that you were actually a part of, not
because youre wrong and bad, not because youre
at fault in any way, but just simply to restore to you
a sense of control back, to put control back into your
own hands, so that you can trust yourself to open
your heart and love again. Because you know that
youre going to create a lot more safety for yourself
moving forward.
I talk about some of this in my seminar from the
series, Conscious Uncoupling & The Art Of Living
Happily Even After, and most particularly how the
quality of the connection that youre creating with
your next partner or with the partner that youre with
right now is actually really deeply impacted by the
quality of the completion that you had in your past
relationship.
In fact, I like to tell people that your next relationship
will not begin when you meet your next partner, but
with how you ended with your previous one, so that
youre actually leaving that relationship toxic-free,
you dont have any more festering resentments,
youre not kind of obsessed with past hurts. You
really feel unencumbered by the things that
happened between yourself and that person. You
have an open and unencumbered heart and to have
your happily even after life that is going to allow
you to realize the full potentials that you hold for
garbage, or who left the kitchen lights on, whos
taking the kid to the doctor on Friday afternoon.
Then rather than working on the relationship and
hoping your sex life will take care of itself, when you
actually work on the physical connected part of your
relationship, the other day-to-day issues can take
care of themselves.
Katherine: Beautiful, so helpful to hear. Then Dr.
Jenn Berman from VH1s Couples Therapy gave us
Getting What Youve Been Craving in the Bedroom:
How To Make Your Sex Life More Intimate Than Its
Ever Been which ofered so many amazing ways
to communicate your needs and have the kind of
passionate intimacy that I think we all ultimately
desire and deserve to have.
Dr. Jenn talked about a little known fact, which is
how for the most part the more we have sex, the
more we want to have sex. She also cited the study of
3,000 Americans that revealed that those of us who
were having sex rated our general health and sense
of well-being higher than those of us who were not
having sex, saying they got more and better sleep,
they felt more relaxed, and less stressed as well. So
people who frequent sex also sleep better, they take
fewer sick days at work, and they have lower blood
pressure.
When couples have problems, truthfully what
happens is sex is usually one of the rst things to go.
Interestingly enough, the best way to improve your
sex life is actually have sex even when you might not
be in the mood, simply just because you love your
partner and youre aware of these other benets. Dr.
Jenn is also really keen on quickies. She calls them
Sexual Snacks.
Arielle: Oh, I love that, sexual snacks. Honey, is it
time for a sexual snack?
Katherine: Im a little hungry right now.
Arielle: I love Dr. Jenn. I listen to her every night on
Oprah Radio. Shes so great.
On a diferent note completely, another thing thats
critical for a relationship to truly reach its potential
wrong.
Arielle: Yes, of course, and then I think we should
take a second to talk about how important it is to
create a support system for yourself when youre
undertaking this process of healing from a betrayal
and I know that, Katherine, as a licensed therapist
youve worked with probably thousands of individuals
and couples.
Katherine: Yes. After a betrayal, one feels such deep
grief and grief is always going to be best healed
with the support of other people. One should never
try to process this kind of thing in isolation and I
think that this conversation really deepened in Dr.,
John Grays seminar, Repairing Whats Broken: A
Powerful Process To Help Real-Life Couples Move
Past Obstacles And Regain Trust. He worked with
two diferent real live couples and we could see
ourselves in diferent things that the couple were
going through. We could actually kind of identify
with them and recognize ourselves in what they were
experiencing, thats how I felt about it. I really could
identify a lot with what they were dealing with.
Arielle: Yes, that was really powerful to actually
be able to witness the work that he did with these
real couples in this really, therapy sessions. Ive re-
listened to this particular audio a few times now and
each time Im learning something new, which this
is why Im such a big believer in how repetition is
so important to truly integrate benets of this work
because for me, hearing it once is never enough.
I need to go back and listen a few times because
each time I either hear something I didnt hear the
rst time or I get a new distinction or I hear it in a
diferent way. Sometimes Ill just have the series
playing in my car or when Im out for my walk,
and its just amazing to me how each expert just
somewhere, once a day, I hear something I needed to
hear or hear again.
Katherine: Yes, I mean me, too, Arielle, I have the
same thing. I made a commitment to being a student
of love and to spend some time every day with ideas
and materials that actually are supporting me to grow
and expand in love so that I can really bring that into
my relationships.
heartfelt and happy, healthy love moving forward.
Conscious Uncoupling really helps us to end a
relationship on an empowered note so that youre
not dragging that old hurt around with you for years
to come. The difcult things like being able to clear
the residue from a betrayal, youre really equipped to
do that, so that that breakup doesnt take you out or
that betrayal doesnt take you out, but in some ways
even makes you more prepared to have a deeper,
richer experience of love moving forward.
Arielle: Really, really important and really on the
same subject, I also wanted to touch base about the
seminar with Drs. Gay & Katie Hendricks which was
called Healing From Betrayal: How To Rebuild Trust,
Reignite Love And Create A Bond Thats Stronger
Than Ever and they ended up sharing with us the
steps that someone who has been the betrayer needs
to take to begin healing the relationship.
According to Gay and Katie they said, even focusing
on the terms betrayer and betrayed keeps you in
a role of somebody being the victim and the other
person being the villain, which isnt a stance that can
you help you heal or be productive.
They say that if the person whos cheated really
looks at the deeper reasons for what they did, theres
probably something going on in the relationship and
in themselves that made them feel disconnected
and unfullled. The afair, turns out, its like a secret
adrenalin boost. All the research bears this out that
afairs are all about the excitement of slinking around
and getting away with something, instead of doing
the more difcult thing, which is really sitting down
with your partner and sharing with them how you
feel, what you want, what you need. They say thats
where the real satisfaction is.
Katherine: Yes, absolutely, and according to Gay and
Katie, and I really agree with them, that means that
both partners need to get out of their heads, need
to stop over-thinking, over-analyzing and actually
really connect deeply with their own hearts and to
acknowledge their own deeper feelings and needs.
And from there, to be able to share honestly with
their partner without going into whos right or whos
Claire Zammit and Craig Hamilton, is that if you
really want to create an authentic partnership, you
have to let go of old toxic patterns that you may
have been playing out in past relationships because
these patterns, they really can sabotage your current
relationship and your ability to give and receive love
with your partner.
Arielle: Yes, I know thats so true because when I
interviewed Craig and Claire in their seminar, which is
called Enlightened Relationship: Six Power Practices
To Create An Authentic Spiritual Partnership, Claire
said the most beautiful thing, she said, When I met
Craig it wasnt about entering a relationship to get
somebody to love me or to want me. It was about
me showing up being myself, letting go of control
and letting that generate whatever it does. Isnt that
amazing?
Katherine: Oh, I love that. Something else that they
shared in the same seminar, although this time it was
from Craig, is that relationships can be a wonderful
and fertile ground for growth and thats actually
whats really possible for two people when theyre
there together, theyre gently pushing each other
past their edges, theyre encouraging them to grow
and evolve and awaken.
Arielle: Yes and I really like the words you used,
gently push.
Katherine: Yes, gently gently pushing.
Arielle: Yes, thats really important. One thing we can
really do to help our partner grow is to be as clear a
mirror as possible for them, to really help them see
themselves fully.
Its really important, having worked through our
second key, which is Eliminating Blame, Judgment
and Criticism, that we keep this in mind when were
being a mirror because this isnt the opportunity
to dump a bunch of criticism on to your partner or
have it dumped on to you, but its more opportunity
to hold a space for growth and to really help your
partner see their true potential.
Katherine: Absolutely. This is just something thats so
magical that two people can really do for each other
Having this series, Im so grateful to you, because it
makes it so easy and convenient to stay connected to
just this constant stream of empowering information
that supports my own growth and development. I
think of it like exercising. If I work out one day, I get
this temporary benet of feeling really strong and
accomplished following that one workout. But to
really reach and sustain my tness goals, it actually
requires a much more disciplined commitment to
integrate working out into my daily routine. I think its
a similar concept here.
I encourage people to integrate this material into
their daily routine for at least two weeks, maybe
thats 20 minutes while youre driving to and
from the ofce or its going to be 45 minutes of
reviewing a seminar while youre out doing chores
around the house and whatever you can commit
to. I encourage you to make it a habit to expose
yourself to the information daily for two weeks and
watch what happens. I strongly suspect that you
will see a signicant shift in how you think about
love and relationships and how you show up for the
relationships in your own life. It can really be quite
remarkable that just that small commitment like
this can just produce extraordinary results that are
tangible, that you can see, taste and feel.
Arielle: Yes, I so agree. I mean that old saying, What
you put your attention on grows. If youre constantly
focused on whats wrong, thats whats going to show
up. If youre focused on, Im committed to having the
best love relationship in my life, Im willing to make
a small daily commitment to expose myself to these
seminars that inspire me and integrate them into my
daily practice, then things are going to shift.
I want to make sure that we get to cover all those
relationship keys. When we talk about conscious
and soulful relationships, the sixth key is really a
critical one and this one is how to foster authentic
partnership. This is where you can both be who
you truly are and also work together to co-create a
relationship that contributes in some way to a more
enlightened world.
Katherine: This is something that I have really learned
from my two very good friends and yours too, Arielle,
and to make the decision even to not look to the
past to see how we should be doing things, but to
see ourselves as the pioneers of new denitions
within this goal of creating authentic and conscious
relationships and asking ourselves, just getting into
the habit, Whats really possible here? What are my
deeper desires that Im wanting to manifest in this
relationship? How do I want to be receiving love?
How do I want to be giving love?
Arielle: Yes, and allowing our partners to also answer
those questions.
Katherine: Absolutely! And also allowing our answers
to then be diferent from each other, to be diferent in
a way were neithers right, neithers wrong, where we
can be diferent and we can co-exist in a way that has
space for each of us.
Arielle: Yes, were back to its a both-and world.
Yes, what sounds so amazing about all these keys
that weve addressed so far and the whole idea
of conscious relationships in general, is that these
are opening up space to get us talking, so that we
can really have these crucial conversations with
each other and do it in a way thats really safe and
supportive.
Katherine: Absolutely. And you know, Arielle
something always been impressed with is Ive known
you and Brian now together over the years is, that the
two of you are such a shining example of this seventh
key, which is to have fun and creating a playful
friendship with your partner.
Arielle: Oh thanks Katherine. Brian and I are very,
very fond of that key.
Arielle: I think that one of the ways you can really
create friendship with your soulmate is to be willing
to both ask for and ofer forgiveness. Because with
all of our friendships and all of our relationships, the
truth is, were going to head a place where we need
to do that and for a lot of us it can be really difcult.
I learned this amazing process from our good friend
Lisa Nichols and its about asking for forgiveness. Her
seminar was called: Deeping Your Friendship: The
Secret Formula To Achieving Greater Understanding
and when you commit to holding your partner and
yourself in the kindest, most loving way possible and
youre holding before you their true potential at all
times, its not only a gift to that person, but its a gift
to yourself, and in many ways its a gift to the entire
community. Everyone is blessed by this kind of a
union.
Arielle: Yes, its so true. Your love blesses the world.
I think that so many relationships are now shifting to
the woman making more money than the man. This is
now true in more than forty percent of couples.
Katherine: Wow.
Arielle: Yes, can you believe it? Forty percent of
women now out-earn their husbands, so its time for
us to let go of old preconceived patterns in order for
us to really nd true happiness in love and in life and
in our relationship.
We did a panel about this paradigm shift thats
happening right now and Dr. Sheri Myers talked
about this. It was also including Alison Armstrong,
Evan Marc Katz and Al Watts and we called this one:
Bucking Traditional Roles In The Name Of Love:
How To Navigate Tensions When The Woman Is
The Breadwinner. Dr. Sheri was saying that weve all
been so indoctrinated and socialized to believe that
things should be a certain way and weve now seen
that we dont have the role models to be who we
authentically are. So its time to accept that theres
this paradigm shift both for ourselves and for our
future generations, because now we are the role
models for the next generation.
She has this great conversation about learning a
whole diferent level of self-respect and respect
for one another and then asking ourselves in a
really open and honest way, In todays world what
does it mean to be a man? What does it mean to
be a woman? and then redening our team and
our sharing roles and our responsibilities so that
everybody feels empowered and nurtured and safe
and cared for.
Katherine: Thats exquisite. I mean its so powerful
to begin to see our own changing roles in this way
And Acceptance With Your Partner.
Katherine: Oh, I love that title.
Arielle: Yes, I do too. She joined me on the kick-of
for The Art of Love Series and I had just the most
amazing time with her and I know that so many
members listening in of The Art of Love community
loved it too. So let me just share with you the process
that Lisa talked about when it comes to forgiveness
because it was just incredibly powerful.
Lisa said that rather than just saying to somebody,
Please forgive me, she believes that it gives you an
opportunity to create a fertile ground to create all
this growth that weve been talking about.
Katherine: Oh, wonderful. And you know, Arielle,
I just want to remind us that forgiveness isnt just
about pardoning the past or being pardoned for
something you did in the past. I mean thats clearly
a part of it, but its about also how were moving
forward into the future from here. What needs to
change from this moment forward thats going to
restore a sense of safety and trust?
Arielle: Exactly, yes. Thats why what Lisa talked is
so important. She said in the rst step we have to
do what she calls, Owning your junk. Dont you
love that? First, weve got to own our junk which
means that we take ownership of the role in whatever
happened with your partner. The phrase that she
believes is best to use is, I take responsibility for
_____.
Katherine: Wow. No wiggle room in that statement.
Arielle: No, and no adding a because on the end of
it.
Katherine: Ah, there you go. Oh darn, just when I had
it all worked out.
Arielle: Right. Yes, so I take responsibility for _____
because just by really owning what youve done, it
really says something to your partner.
You can also start by saying, I take responsibility for
_____ and then the next piece is, I know it must
have made you feel _____, and then be really clear
and honest with how you imagine you might have
made your partner feel through your actions or in
actions, maybe it made them feel scared or angry or
frustrated like you didnt care they were going to be
abandoned, but its super important to acknowledge
them, I know it must have made you feel _____.
Katherine: Wow that is so powerful, just even those
rst two steps.
Arielle: But wait, theres a step three.
Katherine: Okay.
Arielle: Step three is, What I learned about myself
is or you could also say, What Im learning from
this is. and this is when you openly clarify what
youve learned from the whole experience, what its
taught you.
Once you say that, the fourth step is, What Im
committed to do diferently is and then you state
your commitment without putting any stipulations on
it. It could be something like, What Im committed
to doing diferently moving forward is to speak to
you with more love or To really deeply listen to
you or To have more patience when were both
stressed and overwhelmed or To not let things slide
if something is bothering me. So whatever it is you
commit to change, you want to just end with, What
Im committed to doing diferently is...
Katherine: Oh, thats it. I mean thats just what
makes it so alive and healthy and really allows the
relationship to deepen and grow and I especially love
that its just not about like giving the because all
the processing, all of the reasons Im this way and
just trying to youre just responsible for the impact
its had, youre responsible for what youve learned
and who youre going to be moving forward. I think
that just really opens up the space for authentic
completion and forgiveness to happen.
Arielle: Yes, because you dont want this to be about
keeping score, creating a power struggle. For those
of you that are taking notes, Im going to recap these
steps, okay?
Number one, I take responsibility for
Number two, I know it must have made you feel...
Heres what Im learning and nally Heres what I
commit to do diferently..
Then the nal thing is, Will you forgive me? I mean
I think thats just an amazing and generous way to
have this conversation.
Katherine: Yes, its beautiful. And forgiveness is
so key in any friendship and in any relationship,
particularly within an intimate lasting love. And so is
the commitment to play, which is another aspect of
this seventh key Fun, Play and Friendship.
The fabulous Carol Allen talked about how we
sometimes forget what our partner loves to do and
how they love to play and thats part of what we fell
in love with right at the start, yes?
Arielle: Yes, absolutely! I talked to Carol along with
our friends SARK and Dr. John Waddell and Dr. Teri
Orbuch and we had this great seminar called: Date
Your Mate!: The Easiest Ways To Immediately Ignite
Passionate Fun In Your Relationship. And Carol
reminded us that we have to really understand the
way our partner is built and whats truly important
to them because when you honor that and you
value and you support that, then your relationship
automatically becomes a whole lot more fun. We
want to be careful not to get too casual in our
relationships especially the longer weve been
together. We want to actually make a conscious
efort to make the time to have fun. Like you just said,
we fall in love with that part of a person, the part that
loves to have fun and they fell in love with that part of
us, so we need to keep that a part of our relationship.
Katherine: Absolutely! What I love, what I learned
from SARK in that seminar is how easy fun and play
can be with your partner. You can make up little
connective games that require very little time or
efort. You can really refuel yourself so that you keep
just enjoying the relationship and inside of that its
going to keep going stronger and stronger.
Arielle: One of the things she talked about that is
part of this process as well, is how important it is to
handle our exhaustion, that we really need to rest and
do things that can refuel ourselves, so that we have
time and energy to have fun. As you mentioned a
little while ago about putting our own oxygen mask
on rst
Katherine: Yes.
Arielle: Weve got to make sure that we do that so
we have the energy and the joy and the love to just
overow and then share it in a fun way with our
partner.
Katherine: Right. Sometimes we have to step out of
our routine, out of everything thats familiar and just
create the fun. Really Arielle, I mean isnt that what
this is about? We might hear the phrase Conscious
Relationship and think, Oh that sounds kind of
serious, but really thats only a very small part of it.
A lot of it is really about enjoying life to the fullest,
having fun, fostering friendship, being in a joyful
place with your partner, enjoying each other. I think
ultimately this is what this whole series afords us the
ability to create this kind of powerful, loving, playful,
long-term loving relationship.
Arielle: Just yesterday Brian and I made a
commitment to add even more fun into our
relationship. Since we love to go to concerts, we
decided were going to nd at least one great concert
a month to commit to and very quickly I bought
tickets for the entire summer.
I want to go back to something else that we touched
on which is the sixth key, Authentic Partnership and
thats the fact that we dont always have a good role
model in relationships to look up to. When we talk
about conscious soulful, connected relationships this
is the reason why we brought into this series, these
interviews with our soulmate couples. It was really
one of my favorite parts to do.
Katherine: Absolutely. I mean I think one of the things
thats really most wonderful about what The Art of
Love ofers is this opportunity to model after these
soulmate couples who are living these keys in their
day to day lives together.
Arielle: Yes, I totally agree because I know earlier
we were talking about setting up a support system
Arielle: Yes, exactly. You bring up something really
important because thats how to keep immersing
yourself in the teachings, how to really give yourself
the gift of these learnings as you commit to
creating your own conscious, soulful and connected
relationship.
God, its just now hitting me Katherine this is the
nale. Our series could actually be over. Can you
believe it?
Katherine: Oh my God. It actually makes me feel a
little sad because Ive had such an amazing time with
these seminars. Ive been learning so much Arielle.
Im going to miss having them be a part of my life
everyday.
Arielle: Yes, me too. I know from a lot of the
messages weve gotten from people whove been
listening in everyday that theyve been incorporating
the audios into their daily routine and Im still really
inspired by you Katherine from something you
said earlier in the call about making a two-week
commitment to continue to expose ourselves daily to
the powerful and inspiring information and wisdom,
so that we can all have this deeply connected, soulful,
conscious relationship that we crave and deserve and
then we can all just pay attention to what starts to
shift in our lives as we continue to be immersed in
this love, energy and insight of the series.
Katherine: Well, it will almost be like the series keeps
going for another two weeks.
Arielle: Yes, its exactly what itll be like.
For those of you who are here with us and that are
listening, if you know that making a commitment to
integrate this information into you daily routine is
right for you and you havent yet chosen one of the
packages available, I want you to know how easy and
afordable it is for you to have access to the entire
series of seminars and transcripts and some new
powerful bonuses that have all been bundled for you
to have unlimited access.
If youre in front of your computer right now, I want
you to take a look and go to ArtofLoveAudios.com
and this way I can give you all the information you
as your making changes in your life and your
relationships and most of us have just never seen the
kind of healthy relationship that we want to model,
which is why it was so important to me to be able
to bring in these real life soulmate couples, whove
already mastered these seven keys to show us the
way.
Katherine: Yes. I learn something new every time I
listen to one of these eight couples that you have in
the series. I so appreciate how generous they are in
giving us a glimpse into their private lives because
it really helps us to see whats actually possible and
why we would even really strive to have this kind of
relationship. Even some of the couples work together
too, so even when youre spending that much time
together, youre both working together and youre life
mates together, as well.
Arielle: Yes, its critical to have good examples and
another part of why I love creating this series is for
me personally is I feel like I get a Ph.D. in love twice
a year doing this. I really get to immerse myself in
these teachings.
Earlier, Katherine, you talked about making a
commitment to surrounding yourself everyday on
being a student of love, on how to have access
to these amazing teachers, and I think thats an
important part of mastering all of these keys to
conscious coupling. This year I sat down with eight
diferent Love Masters and I asked them to share with
us a specic techniques on how to have, do, be and
share more love in the world.
Katherine: Wow. What amazed me the most in these
conversations is that you just really cut to the heart
of the matter with all of them. I mean you only spoke
to each of them for about 15 minutes, but they were
all so willing to share very, very deeply with you right
out of the gate. They were kind of like mini sessions
that are great if we just want a love boost were
driving to work, we have a short commute, were out
doing the dishes, were going for a short walk, you
only have about 15 minutes so these conversations
are really powerful and inspiring in a very brief period
of time.
really resonates for you, you can go back and easily
refer to things later and then you can also focus on
specic keys and issues that relate to your own life
and relationship. Because seeing the printed words
alongside the audios can really be invaluable and it
helps you work with the material at a more in-depth
level.
As weve talked about tonight, all the great ways that
you could share these tools and tips with the people
that you love most, these transcripts and audios
make it super, super easy to do that.
One of the ways you can share what youve learned
from The Art of Love with your partner or your future
partner, theyre on the way and Ill confess this is
something Ive done, you can say to them, You
know honey, I love you so much and your happiness
and our relationship is so important to me that I just
have to share a few minutes of what I heard today in
the seminar about great ways to communicate with
your mate and if I put the recording on your iPod or
if I put the CD in your car would you be willing to
listen to it? Let me tell you, if theres something you
want someone to hear, sort of framing it this way,
theyre more likely to say, Sure! Of course, whatever
you want.
Let me just quickly take you through the basic
package options.
The rst option is our Basic Access Package. Its our
all digital access package and thats perfect for you
if you know you only want to listen to the audios
on your iPod or MP3 player and youre sure that
you dont actually need to own the CDs or have the
transcripts in book form. In this option youll get all
of The Art of Love Relationship Series Keynote and
Panel audios, the Soulmate Couple Interviews, the
Conversations with the Love Masters, the Transcripts
and the Creating More Powerful Connection with
Your Partner Bonus Package. You can download all of
those and have complete instant access to the entire
series and its a $408.00 value, but we have a special
event-only price of $97.00. Its worth $408.00, but
special event-only pricing is only $97.00.
need to determine, which package is best suited for
you or if you want you can just click on the blue link
on the nale event page that says, To View the Full
Series and Learn About Our Upgrade Options Visit
The Art of Love Series Program information Page,
just click link right on that.
Now, weve specically designed these packages as
a result of the consistent feedback weve received
every year from our attendees. So the rst thing is we
know that many of your schedules are so busy, that
it was unavoidable for you to miss at least a few of
the seminars during the event and often they were
seminars you really wanted to hear. And then second,
a lot of people wanted more than 24-hour access
to each of the seminars because there was just too
much great material to absorb. And then third, we
got a hundred of requests from people who wanted
to be able to download the audios and transcripts so
they could actually dig in more deeply on their own
time when they were in the car, working out or even
reading on planes or buses or even just in bed.
So Im really excited to report that we created a
solution to each of these common requests. By
choosing either the Basic, Premium or Premium
Deluxe Upgrade Options youll be able to listen to the
series anytime and anywhere and even share your
favorite seminars with others, including your partner,
and as I mentioned theres some fantastic bonuses as
well.
Katherine: Well, these options may get really
convenient and realistically help you keep the
commitment as integrating this material into our daily
lives.
Arielle: Which is exactly why weve designed them
this way. Once you have unlimited access to the
seminars, youll be able to move through them at
your own pace in a sequence that makes sense for
you and really take in all that they have to ofer
and repeat them as often as necessary to get the
maximum support from them.
And then also this is really one of my favorite tools
the packages include the printed transcripts of
each session, so then you can highlight anything that
passion levels. As I mentioned, this is special event-
only pricing and its going to end really soon.
I want to just jump in here and share what few
people have written to us about how this series has
impacted them. Gloria from San Jose writes, Arielle,
I just want to say that not only have I been listening
to the seminars everyday, but Ive also been listening
to them in my car. Ive been dating one guy now. Our
seventh date will be this weekend and all of a sudden,
two more men want to date me. Its amazing! Im
obviously doing something serious when it comes to
manifesting and its a little scary too.
Katherine: Thats great. Diana from Charlotte wrote
us to say, Thank you Arielle for you program. At the
time I registered Ive just come out of an unhealthy
two-year relationship where my partner told me he
didnt think he loved enough the whole time. Other
issues with condence and low self-esteem were
involved, but I survived and I saw your program in just
the right time. All good things in life appear when you
need them. I signed up straight away and got to work.
It was amazing to focus on myself and close of old
wounds and rediscover me.
Arielle: Oh, thats great. And then Janet from Miami
shared, This has been one of the most helpful
programs Ive ever had on the topic of love, dating,
partnership and marriage.
We really, really want to support you and honor your
desire to have long-term access to all the audios
from the series. Because were so completely sure
youre going to experience incredible benets and
transformations, we even have a 30-day better
than money back guarantee. What this means is
that anytime in the next 30 days, if youre not 100%
completely satised with your investment, you can
request a full refund and youll still get to keep the
bonuses as our gift to you, which is why I just said its
better than money back.
And if this is not enough when you purchase any
of our Upgrade Packages before midnight Pacic
Time on Thursday, April 17th, youre going to get one
more really amazing bonus package that Im sure
youre going to want because its the perfect one to
Just to quickly recap, in the Basic Access Upgrade
Package, you get unlimited access to our complete
Art of Love Relationship Series seminar library,
downloadable MP3s, 8 Inspiring Couple Spotlight
Seminars also by MP3, and then PDF transcripts of
each seminar, so you can review the material in print
and you wont have to take notes while listening.
Additionally this comes with three extra bonuses. Its
called Creating More Powerful Connection with Your
Partner and this will give you tools to resolve past
pain in order to allow new love into your life.
Now, I just want to mention one thing here and just
to give you a little bit of perspective you will then
have access to these worlds top 50 love experts for
$97.00, which is way less than the cost of one session
with a coach or a therapist just had to say that.
All right, so if you scroll down a little further, youll
see that our most popular option which is the one
we call Premium Deluxe Upgrade Package, this gives
you all the same digital access as the basic package
plus we give you 25 CDs containing every seminar
in the entire series and a beautifully bound book
of all the transcripts. Then additionally, there are
six more bonuses from our Creating More Powerful
Connection with Your Partner and Breaking Old Habits
for Stronger Love bonus. So the total value of this
package is $1,066.00, but the special event-only price
is $197.00.
So quickly to recap the Premium Deluxe Upgrade
Package, which is our physical product, plus digital
access, is the complete Art of Love Relationship
Series library, 25 CDs as well as unlimited access
to the complete library of downloadable MP3s, 8
Inspiring Couple Spotlight Seminars available via
downloadable MP3 and the completed printed
transcripts of each seminar plus downloadable PDF
transcripts so this way you dont have to take notes
and you can highlight the text if you prefer while
listening as well as the six extra bonuses that are
part of the Creating More Powerful Connection with
Your Partner and Breaking Old Habits for Stronger
Love Bonus Packages, and this is giving you powerful
tools to resolve past pain, allow new love in and
increase both your communication skills and your
this knowledge and these tools habitually and then
be prepared for magnicent results. So, I cant believe
this time has own by but as we
Katherine: Our last few minutes with everybody here.
Arielle: Our last few minutes, so as we really bring
this series to a close I hope I dont start crying I
know its so sad its over, but I really want to thank
everybody who joined us. I could feel your energy.
I could see how open you are, how willing to go
in this journey of discovery for the last nine days
because I know as well as anybody, we were not
born knowing how to do relationships, you know.
And it really requires the commitment to discovering
The Art of Love, to really inspire ourselves and our
beloved and here right now weve got this event-only
special and its only going to be available for a few
more days, so I want to again encourage you, make
the commitment, give yourselves a gift and dive in
there because I literally searched the world for this
information. I spent months nding the best possible
experts and the information and stuf that really
works, so dont let tonight be the end of the road
keep growing, have this ongoing commitment. Let us
share with you the concepts and the tips and tools
that will get you where you want to go.
Katherine, I have to thank you so much from the
bottom of my heart. You have made this whole event
so memorable. I couldnt have done it without you.
Katherine: Oh, thank you so much Arielle. Im so
honored to have been here with you and with
everyone. I wouldnt have missed it for the world.
Arielle: Its just been completely yummy and juicy
having you and I want to just end with a simple
practice that Ive learned from our dear friends
Claire Zammit and Craig Hamilton and it seems like a
perfect way to bring this to a close.
Its a really simple practice and all you have to do
is take a breath, just take a breath, let go of your
mind, let go of your feelings and just breath into the
deepest part of yourself and just say to yourself this
power statement which is, All of life is organizing
around my success. I am supported by life and its
show you the path to soulful, deeply connected love.
This bonus is called Realizing Your Highest Potentials
for Love: How to Build a Mutually Empowering
Relationship on a Foundation of Happiness, Respect,
Collaboration and Co-creativity. This bonus is valued
at $194.00. Its an exclusive collection of seminars
that have never been heard before. They are brand
new. One is with my amazing co-host of tonight,
bestselling author and licensed psychotherapist
Katherine Woodward Thomas and the other is with
spiritual teacher Michael Bernard Beckwith. So its
like a masters class in relationships and you can take
everything youve learned over the nine days of The
Art of Love Relationship Series and then use this to
make those nal shift to realize your highest ever
potential for love.
As I said, youll receive two never before released
audio seminars. The rst one is Empowered
Conscious Relationships: The Three Most Critical Keys
to Creating and Sustaining Happy Healthy Love, with
the always wonderful Katherine Woodward Thomas.
In that seminar youll discover three powerful keys
to help you interrupt these old pervasive patterns
that arent serving you or your relationship and then
replace them with new supportive habits for creating
the empowered conscious partnership youve always
desired.
The second brand new seminar with spiritual leader
and relationship expert Michael Bernard Beckwith
and this one is: A Spiritual Approach to Love: 5 Daily
Practices for Creating and Sustaining a Conscious
Relationship. This seminar is so powerful because
Michael shows you whats really possible for a
relationship when one or both partners are connected
to something greater than themselves.
Whichever package you select makes a little
diference, because whats really important here,
whats really important is that you make this
commitment to yourself that having the connected,
soulful, conscious partnership of your dreams
becomes a must and not a should. I want to totally
encourage you to embrace these tools, to make these
work and these experts a part of your daily habit, to
become a student of love, to surround yourself with
Thank you for listening to The Art of Love Relationship Series. For more information
about how you can download the audios in this series or order the CD set and companion
transcripts please visit ArtOfLoveAudios.com, again thats ArtOfLoveAudios.com
We want to thank our event partners Evolving Wisdom, along with The Soulmate Secret &
Calling in The One online coursestodays leading programs designed to help you manifest
the love of your life. To find out how to manifest your own Soulmate you can visit
SoulmateSecretNow.com & CallingInTheOne.net
On behalf of your host, Arielle Ford, and our event partners, we want to thank you again for
participating in this series and send you much love and support on your journey to discovering
the keys to keep connection, soulful passion, and lasting love in your life!
kindred spirits right now, right here in this very
moment and then lets all share one nal collective
good night. Goodnight everybody.
Katherine: Goodnight everyone.
Arielle: Love and Laughter.
safe for me to tell the truth about what I think and
what I feel.
Katherine: Oh, what a lovely way to end this evening
and this wonderful series.
Arielle: All right everyone, so lets imagine that were
all holding hands in a global circle of over 200,000

Art of Love 2014 Seminar 34 - Series Finale - Mastering The Secrets To Soulful Relationships

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