Business Book Summaries

April 10, 2013 Copyright 2013 EBSCO Publishing Inc. All Rights Reserved
April 10, 2013
The Drama-Free Office
A Guide to Healthy Collaboration with
Your Team, Coworkers, and Boss
Jim Warner & Kaley Klemp
2012 by Jim Warner & Kaley Klemp
Adapted by permission of Greenleaf Book Group LLC
ISBN: 978-0615659954
Key Concepts
Dramatic behavior is detrimental to a healthy, cre-
ative, and innovative work environment. The best
way to avoid falling into drama is to commit to au-
thentic behavior.
There are four main dramatic personality types:
the Complainer, the Cynic, the Controller, and the
Caretaker.
Before being able to coach others out of their dra-
matic behaviors, people must be able to recognize
and take responsibility for their own dramatic be-
haviors.
Individuals must stay curious, authentic, and emo-
tionally detached in order to avoid falling into the
pitfalls of others dramas.
Individuals must understand the various tools for
difusing drama and when to use them. Tools in-
clude the Direct Conversation, delivering ultima-
tums, handling emotion, making clear agreements,
and showing appreciation.
Individuals must also practice the seven steps for
dealing with drama: geting out of their own dra-
ma, diagnosing the other persons drama, assess-
ing the risks of confrontation, developing rapport,
using direct conversation tools, geting the com-
mitment of others, and validating and anchoring
commitments and new behaviors.
Introduction
In The Drama-Free Ofce, Jim Warner and Kaley
Klemp present their proven methods of recognizing,
diagnosing, and minimizing drama in the workplace.
They emphasize authentic behavior and curious anal-
ysis and demonstrate with real-life examples some of
the warning signs of falling into drama. By breaking
up the types of dramatic behavior into four distinct
roles, the authors are able to explain what causes spe-
cifc behaviors and recommend proven ways to limit,
eliminate, and prevent drama.
The Drama-Free Office Jim Warner & Kaley Klemp
Business Book Summaries

April 10, 2013 Copyright 2013 EBSCO Publishing Inc. All Rights Reserved Page 2
Part I: Overture
The Drama at Riva
In a recent case study, Riva Corporation was deal-
ing with a crisis: one of its most important clients,
Highline Enterprises, was very unhappy with Rivas
products and services and was threatening to take its
business elsewhere. The tension was especially deep
because the CEOs of both companies, Clif and Peter,
had been friends since college. If Highline were to
move away from Riva, it would not only be a huge
hit to the companys profts but would likely end their
friendship.
Clif promised Peter that he would fx the situation,
and went straight to his most reliable staf member,
Laura. He tasked her with solving the Highline project
and assigned her four other managers to work with:
Sam (sales), Theresa (project management/devel-
opment), Foster (fnance), and Candace (customer
service/quality assurance). The teams frst meeting
quickly dissolved into bickering and fnger-pointing.
Team members raised their voices, interrupted one
another, complained, and sulked. Recognizing that
the Highline problem would never be solved until the
teams own drama was addressed, Laura adjourned
the meeting and scheduled brief one-on-one meetings
with each individual for later that day.
Overcoming Drama with Authenticity
The Riva case study team represents the four major
saboteurs, or dramatic types, in the work environ-
ment. Sam is the Complainer, Theresa is the Cynic,
Foster is the Controller, and Candace is the Care-
taker. Each of these personality types can limit or ruin
enthusiasm and progress.
Efective, mature, and responsible leaders must learn
to identify these dramatic features in themselves
before they can atempt to help others. The goal, then,
is to be open to authenticity, which is defned as a
combination of efectiveness and awareness. Efec-
tiveness is another word for productivity, or the ability
to get things done by staying focused and avoiding
the drama of others. Awareness can be described as
a combination of empathy, maturity, and conscious-
ness. Authentic behavior can be summarized by four
diferent aspects:
Further Information
Information about the author and subject:
www.dramafreeofce.com
Information about this book and other business titles:
www.greenleafookgroup.com
Related summaries in the BBS Library:
Reality-Based Leadership
Ditch the Drama, Restore Sanity to the Workplace,
and Turn Excuses into Results
By Cy Wakeman
Rebuilding Trust in the Workplace
Seven Steps to Renew Confdence,
Commitment, and Energy
By Dennis Reina and Michelle Reina
1. Taking healthy responsibility for ones life. By do-
ing this it becomes possible for people to decide
which behaviors to change or keep in order to stay
grounded.
2. Practicing creativity and collaboration. People must
use their sharp intellects for constructive goals
rather than for destructive ends, like cynicism.
3. Empowering others and expressing gratitude. The
best leaders do not gain their power by being self-
ish and dictatorial; they do so by focusing on the
growth and development of their people.
4. Being caring and seting boundaries. A distinction
should be made between being caring and the dra-
matic behavior of the Caretaker. Being caring is all
about empathy for others while still caring for one-
self. By seting boundaries, empathetic people do
not risk overextending themselves for others.
Part II: The Four Drama Roles
The Complainer
Complainers tend to think of themselves as victims.
Everything happens to them, and they always want
someone to help or rescue them. When put in a dif-
fcult situation, complainers will not be the ones who
devise creative solutions. They either never learned
or were never taught how to deal with adversity.
The Drama-Free Office Jim Warner & Kaley Klemp
Business Book Summaries

April 10, 2013 Copyright 2013 EBSCO Publishing Inc. All Rights Reserved Page 3
They will point out their own innocence and ofen
criticize superiors in the same breath. They can be
manipulative and can instill guilt in others. A Com-
plainers chief atitude is helplessness. Complainers
can ofen be managed in the same way as teenagers:
coaching with compassion, but with frm boundar-
ies. Complainers require praise and reassurance and
will ofen push back when criticized. A boss who is a
Complainer will ofen look to someone on their staf
to become either their scapegoat or their confdant (or
both).
The Cynic
Cynics are usually intelligent
and creative, but instead of using
these tools in a positive way,
they tear down others and fnd fault in everything.
This negativity can be extremely destructive to a
team atmosphere; a single Cynic can stife the cre-
ativity and innovation of a dozen coworkers. Where
a Complainers atitude is helplessness, a Cynics is
hopelessness. There is no point, so why bother? is
their moto. Cynics compensate for their own insecu-
rities by bringing everyone else down around them.
They are driven by the need to be right. They are
quick to point out problems but are the last to come
up with solutions.
A person with both Complainer and Cynic traits is
known as the Ultimate Pessimist. The best way to
manage a Cynic is to immediately confront them and
make it known that the behavior is unacceptable.
Cynics are toxic in group environments and should
be eliminated as quickly as possible.
Cynics desire to be right, above all else. They are often intelli-
gent and creative but they use their talents to bring down others
and stifle creativity and innovation.
About the Authors
Jim Warner and Kaley Klemp are devoted to
guiding corporations, family businesses, profes-
sional partnerships, and other organizations on
how to expand their leadership skills, while fos-
tering authenticity within their teams. Whether
for entire corporations, executive teams, small
groups, couples, or individuals, Warner and
Klemp are experts in creating collaborative,
productive interactions.
The Controller
Controllers need to be the best and always need to
win. They are ofen intense, aggressive, and intimi-
dating. Controllers are focused on themselves and
what they think they are entitled to. They do not care
about the needs of others. They are ofen workahol-
ics who tend to micromanage and overanalyze others
eforts. Their expectations are impossibly high, they
become angry if confronted, and they order others
around even if they do not have the authority to.
The Controller-Cynic hybrid is called the Cunning
Dictator, while the Controller-Complainer is called
the Weak King. The best way for leaders to manage
a Controller subordinate is to give them something of
their own to control and oversee. Meanwhile, leaders
must also emphasize collaboration with others and
establish clear boundaries of power. Controller bosses
are challenging to manage, but building relationships
with them will help subordinates with any future
confrontations.
The Caretaker
At frst glance, Caretakers do not seem as dramatic as
the other three personalities. They want to help and
they want everyone to get along. The major mistake
dramatic Caretakers make is in not seting bound-
aries; they become wrapped up in the needs and
opinions of others. Caretakers are also so concerned
with being liked and appreciated that they are ofen
unable to make tough decisions or have difcult con-
versations. More than empathetic, they ofen feel a
need to help, fx, or rescue others and in doing so get
tied up in their problems and drama. A telltale sign of
a Caretaker is someone who has a hard time saying
no. They overcommit and, eventually, underdeliver.
In addition to falling short on commitments due to
overextending themselves, Caretakers also foster
unhealthy codependence in others.
The Complainer-Caretaker is known as the Martyr.
The Cynic-Caretaker is the Biter Soldier, and the
Controller-Caretaker is referred to as the Benevo-
The Drama-Free Office Jim Warner & Kaley Klemp
Business Book Summaries

April 10, 2013 Copyright 2013 EBSCO Publishing Inc. All Rights Reserved Page 4
lent Autocrat. Reformed Caretakers ofen turn out to
be efective coworkers. The most important part of
coaching a Caretaker is to get them to set boundar-
ies in order to prevent overcommiting and reduce the
need to rescue others. They will ofen push back at
this, as they fear upseting their coworkers, or worse,
being disliked by them. Working with them to beter
manage their own priorities can ofen help with this.
With Caretaker bosses, frmness and directness are
the best courses of action, mixed with some apprecia-
tion of their eforts.
Part III: Getting Yourself Out of Drama
Review Your Own Scripts
The most common reactions when falling into drama
are denial, rationalizing, and blaming. The frst and
most important step toward authentic behavior and
away from drama is for individuals to forget about
the need to be right. They must instead be curious
about their behaviors and what is causing them. Curi-
osity leads to learning, and helps steer people away
from drama. When falling into drama, people must
frst stop for a moment and ask themselves what
caused it. Once the cause has been determined, they
must next accept responsibility for it. No one falls into
drama without being at least partly responsible, and
owning up to that is important for moving beyond it.
Finally, in order to fully exit the drama, they must ask
themselves the following three questions:
1. What do they want?
2. What do they really want?
3. What do they really want for themselves?
The frst question tends to identify the solution to the
immediate problem, and the answer is ofen outside
of the individuals control. The second question gets
more to the heart of the problem but is still ofen out-
side the realm of direct control. The third question
reduces the scope of the problem even more and tends
to put it into parameters which are within the realm
of personal control. Afer individuals solve a problem
or a particularly dramatic situation, they must press
the reset buton, forgive all involved parties, and
return to a fresh start.
Shifing Out of Your Drama
In the Riva case study, Laura comes across as the
mature leader who is able to check her own drama
at the door by not contributing to the bickering of the
other four team members. This is only partly true.
She was able to keep herself in check but not without
some difculty. She was tempted to berate the others
for their incompetence and just do
the whole thing herself. Earlier in
her career she had received train-
ing in drama control, and she was
able to take a few deep breaths
and remain authentic and curious.
She also remained unatached and decided to use that
frst meeting to gather data so she could beter under-
stand each team members behavior. She hoped to
guide each of them toward more authentic behaviors
and, ultimately, an innovative solution to the Highline
problem. By determining her own part in the situa-
tion and what she really wanted to get out of it, she
put herself in the best position to succeed.
Part IV: Guiding Others Out of Drama
The Tools for Difusing Drama
It is crucial for managers to make expectations for
behaviors clear and up-front. By learning the tools for
difusing drama, a good manager will know which
tools to use and when. There are fve important tools
that can be used to difuse drama:
1. Direct Conversation: By siting down one-on-one
with a dramatic individual, it is possible to have a
clear and honest conversation about the problem
and about expectations for moving forward. Some
things to include in the Direct Conversation are:
observable, specifc facts about the persons behav-
ior, evaluations and judgments made about the
person based on the behavior, the determination
of emotions causing and caused by the behavior,
the accepting of responsibility, and the assignment
of expectations for the future. It can be difcult or
impossible to predict the response of others during
such a conversation, but an efective manager will
remain detached and atempt to fully understand
Before being able to coach others out of their dramatic behavior
it is important to be able to recognize and take responsibility for
ones own dramatic behavior.
The Drama-Free Office Jim Warner & Kaley Klemp
Business Book Summaries

April 10, 2013 Copyright 2013 EBSCO Publishing Inc. All Rights Reserved Page 5
the other persons perspective. When this method
works, a potential argument or fght ofen trans-
forms into a productive conversation.
2. Delivering Ultimatums: This should not be a frst re-
sort for even the most dramatic individuals, but it
ofen becomes a necessary step when Direct Con-
versation is unsuccessful. When presenting an ul-
timatum, managers must be extremely clear about
what is expected of the individuals work and be-
havior from that point forward, as well as the con-
sequences if behaviors do not change. In order for
ultimatums to work, managers must remain emo-
tionally detached while issuing them.
3. Handling Emotion: It is possible that in any confron-
tation, the person being confronted could display
any number of emotions, ranging from embarrass-
ment to sadness. It is important for managers to
acknowledge the individuals emotions and, while
remaining detached and curious, address how
they might be feeling. Failing
to address strong emotional
responses can have negative
efects, such as causing the
other person to botle up and
stifing any further progress.
Managers must be under-
standing without geting dragged into the drama
themselves.
4. Making Clear Agreements: Clear, measurable agree-
ments promote maturity and responsibility for
peoples actions, and will therefore be resisted by
the four dramatic types. In order to make clear
agreements, managers must state specifcally what
is expected of their subordinates, defne measur-
able parameters for success, and establish defnite
milestones and deadlines. They must also ensure
that subordinates fully understand and explicitly
agree to all terms.
5. Showing Appreciation: Ofentimes the true cause of
drama is a workers need to feel valued or appreci-
ated. By simply acknowledging aloud what is good
about a person or his behaviors, managers can pre-
vent the majority of workplace dramas. However,
they must be sure that any atempts at appreciating
others are sincere and specifc to the individual.
The Seven Steps for Dealing with Drama
There are seven steps that leaders should follow when
dealing with workplace drama:
1. Remain anchored in authenticity and stay away from
any atitudes or behaviors that will encourage or pro-
mote further drama. It is too easy for managers to
forget this step and become mired in the drama
themselves.
2. Diagnose the type of drama displayed by the person in
question. Stay curious and detached and determine
which of the four types of drama the person leans
toward. This will help determine the best solution.
3. Assess the risks of confrontation. Realize that there are
several potential negative outcomes, such as noth-
ing happening, resistance increasing, chaos erupt-
ing, the person being pushed too far, or the rela-
tionship ending. If the risks are too high, it might
not be a good idea to confront the individual, or at
least not yet.
4. Develop a rapport with the other person. There is only
one chance at the start of the meeting to establish
any sort of meaningful connection. This can be
done through demonstrating appreciation and em-
pathy, fnding something to like about the person,
and seting aside judgments about them.
5. Use the Direct Conversation tools learned in the previ-
ous chapter. Make sure to establish either an agree-
ment or an ultimatum.
6. Strive for commitment. Drama-prone people will re-
sist an atempt to commit to any established agree-
ment. They may start making excuses or justifca-
tions, or they may get angry or upset. This makes
it very easy to fall into the drama. Avoid this and
reiterate in clear language the commitment they
are expected to make until they agree.
7. Validate and anchor their commitments and new behav-
iors. Be sure to praise and appreciate any positive
behaviors and honor any commitments agreed to.
When managing the dramatic behavior of a boss, make sure to
establish a relationship with them. Understand their personality
and opinions before making a risky confrontation.
The Drama-Free Office Jim Warner & Kaley Klemp
Business Book Summaries

April 10, 2013 Copyright 2013 EBSCO Publishing Inc. All Rights Reserved Page 6
Puting the Tools and Processes to Work
Geting back to the Riva case study, Laura used the
drama-free techniques to get out of her own drama
and coach each of her team members out of theirs.
Her frst meeting was with Sam, the sales manager
and Complainer. During the meeting Sam exclaimed
his innocence and helplessness, insisting that he
had done everything he could, and called the entire
situation a disaster. He sat down with Laura and
immediately started down this track again. Laura
decided to skip pleasantries and get right to the point.
She was able to build a rapport with Sam by listen-
ing to and refecting his complaints back to him, and
then she began a Direct Conversation and got him
to commit in clear language to collaborate with the
group in the next team meeting.
In Lauras initial meeting with Theresa the Cynic,
Theresa was dismissive and negative, and she started
down that line again when she met with Laura a
second time. Laura immediately skipped past the
small talk and got right to the heart of the Cynic:
giving her apprecation and recognition for her con-
tributions. By doing this, Laura was able to get more
sincerity from Theresa, along with commitment to
use her technical knowledge and intelligence to help
the group rather than shooting holes in others ideas.
When siting down with Foster the Controller, Laura
had to quickly remember to keep her own drama in
check. Foster immediately started jockeying for con-
trol of the project and belitling the skills of the other
team members. Laura went straight to a Direct Con-
versation again, asserting her role as the team leader
but agreeing to fnd a part of the project that Foster
could lead himself. Specifc expectations for goals
are important when dealing with the Controller;
they prefer to keep things vague so they can do what
they want. Laura was able to spot the rising anger in
Fosters body language during the meeting and, by
addressing it, build a beter rapport with him.
Finally, while meeting with Candace the Caretaker,
Laura had to balance between encouragement and
directness. Being too direct might be upseting or too
discouraging to a Caretaker, so some level of afr-
mation was necessary before Candace shut down
completely. The main point for Laura to emphasize
to Candace was the importance of seting boundaries
and managing priorities.
The Team Meeting
The next day, the group meeting began on a positive
note. Laura saw that her individual discussions with
each of her team members had been efective, and the
group was able to quickly get started brainstorming
creative solutions. When the group started to run low
on ideas, however, they began to fall back into old
familiar habits. Laura stopped, took a few breaths,
and addressed the rising drama. By reminding the
group what they had commited to and gently warn-
ing them of their dramatic behaviors, she was able
to steer the brainstorming session back on track and
arrive at an efective solution for the companys prob-
lem. The only thing that remained was to present the
solution to Clif.
Managing Up
The most difcult and important person to manage at
work is ones boss. It is easy to feel powerless and vic-
timized when confronted by a drama-prone boss, but
it is possible to use many of the same techniques to
arrive at a beter result. The frst thing a subordinate
must do is to fnd out more about the bosss values,
opinions, atitude, and personality. Careful planning
of a communication strategy based on this fact-fnd-
ing is crucial to the careful process of managing
up. It is also important that subordinates under-
stand the potential negative consequences of such a
conversation, including termination. They must stay
supportive and positive while backing up assertions
with specifc facts.
g g g g
Features of the Book
Estimated Reading Time: 45 hours, 201 pages
The Drama-Free Ofce by Jim Warner and Kaley
Klemp is intended for leaders in any ofce seting,
expecially those that have drama-prone coworkers.
The techniques detailed within the book would be
relevant and efective in just about any business envi-
ronment. The authors use several case studies from
real life situations to help illustrate their points, as
well as quick-reference charts and online resources.
The Drama-Free Office Jim Warner & Kaley Klemp
Business Book Summaries

April 10, 2013 Copyright 2013 EBSCO Publishing Inc. All Rights Reserved Page 7
The book is meant to be read cover to cover, but the
tables and charts make it easy to skip ahead or refer
back to specifc information.
Contents
Seting the Stage
Part I: Overture
1. The Drama at Riva
2. Overcoming Drama with Authenticity
Part II: The Four Drama Roles
3. The Complainer
4. The Cynic
5. The Controller
6. The Caretaker
Part III: Geting Yourself Out of Drama
7. Review Your Own Scripts
8. Shifing Out of Your Drama
Part IV: Guiding Others Out of Drama
9. The Tools for Defusing Drama
10. The Seven Steps for Dealing With Drama
11. Puting the Tools and Processes to Work
12. The Team Meeting
13. Managing Up
Conclusion: Being an Authentic Leader
Appendix A: Mature Responses to Dramatic People
Appendix B: The Drama Self-Assessment
Online Tools for Assessing the Authenticity of Your
Ofce
Acknowledgments
About the Authors
The Drama-Free Office Jim Warner & Kaley Klemp
Business Book Summaries

April 10, 2013 Copyright 2013 EBSCO Publishing Inc. All Rights Reserved Page 8
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