ANSIOSO

Although both anxious and avoidant people have difficulty constructing an authentic,
cohesive, and stable sense of self-worth, their reliance on different secondary attachment
strategies (see Chapter 2, this volume) results in different self-configurations and disorders of
the self. Anxious, hyperactivating strategies intensify doubts about selfworth and self-
efficacy, and intensify a persons sense of vulnerability to rejection or abandonment.
Avoidant, deactivating strategies, in contrast, are a persons attempts to Mental
Representations of Self and Others suppress such doubts, while working to convince the self
and others that one is selfsufficient and invincible.
Consistent with the anxious stance depicted in the dream, it is common for an attachment-
anxious person, who hopes to gain a partners love, esteem, and protection, to take some of
the blame for a partners unreliable care (Something is wrong with me; I dont have what it
takes to gain my partners reliable attention and regard). It is also common for such a person
to ruminate about why he or she is so worthless that others do not want to provide the love
and approval that is so strongly desired. These thought processes heighten and reinforce the
cognitive accessibility of negative self-representations and doubts about ones social value.
Moreover, anxious overdependence on attachment figures interferes with the development of
self-efficacy. Anxiously attached people generally prefer to rely on their partner rather than
engage in challenging activities alone, thereby preventing them from exploring and learning
new information and skills. In addition, deliberate but awkward or desperate attempts to gain
proximity to an attachment figure reinforce a negative self-image, because anxious people
often present themselves in degrading, incompetent, childish, or excessively needy ways in an
effort to elicit compassion and support.

EVITANTE
In the case of avoidant attachment, it is common to prop up ones self-image through
unconscious defenses and narcissistic behavior (defensive self-enhancement). Avoidant
people learn not to focus on or care about threats and not to seek support from attachment
figures. These defensive efforts are accompanied by attempts to deny vulnerability, negative
self-aspects, and memories of personal failures, while trying to focus on and display traits and
feelings compatible with self-sufficiency. Avoidant people often entertain fantasies of
perfection and power, exaggerate their achievements and talents, and avoid situations that
challenge their defenses and threaten their grandiosity. They can become quite annoyed,
however, when someone asks them to alter their behavior, be more considerate, soften their
defenses, or admit their mistakes. Below is an example from an avoidant female university
students dream. In this dream, her prickliness is symbolically represented by wire spikes
growing out of the dreamers head and hair.



Understanding these two processessubjective appraisal of threats and activation of the
attachment system by threat-related thoughtsis crucial for understanding how secondary
attachment strategies (hyperactivation and deactivation) bias attachmentsystem
activation. Hyperactivating strategies include vigilance with respect to possible threats,
exaggerated appraisals of threats (catastrophizing), and rumination about previous and merely
possible threatening experiences that reactivate proximity-seeking efforts and emphasize the
urgency of gaining a partners attention, care, and support. This often causes anxiously
attached individuals to activate their attachment system even in the absence of objective
threats. Deactivating (avoidant) strategies, in contrast, include diversion of attention away
from threats and inhibition or suppression of threat-related thoughts that might activate the
system. Because of these strategic maneuvers, avoidant individuals often distance themselves
from threats and keep themselves from thinking about either their need for comfort or
protection, or the relief they might experience in the presence or arms of a loving and
protective relationship partner. Avoidant people tend to display, as we quoted Bowlby saying
in Chapter 1, compulsive self-reliance.