A Dream Too Many

Prologue

There are a million different reasons the world changed last winter; Corina, being the most prominent. The dust and chaos in D.C. and Denver had already settled long before Charlotte stood on her balcony and stared into the sunset with tears in her eyes. Kala, a girl of only 10, came and stood beside her.

She looked up at Charlotte, a mother of two, fifty-two years of age. Grandma Charlotte? I miss them.

Charlotte let fall the endless stream of tears. I know baby girl. I do too.

She hugged the child with love. Charlotte remembered past memories of the happiness and openness the entire family shared in his presence. To call his being there captivating would be an understatement. His very being had a draw when he visited, a magnetic property that few ignored. Around them, he opened up and showed a person few had ever seen. He felt no inner voice telling him that someone might be watching, or listening, instead he was, finally, himself. And it was only them that saw the true person he had become; them and Corina.

Charlotte leaned against the pole of her balcony, watching the sun set over the Rocky Mountains; her pain written over her face. She glanced to the ground, then at Kala.

But they’re together now; they’re happy.

How do you know? Kala asked. Charlotte offered her the kindest look. They were always happy together. She was his world, and everything within it.

The Child and the Butterfly

Ten years prior to Charlotte’s breakdown, Kaleb stood motionless in the parking lot of a school. His look, distant and yet pleased. As hundreds of adults fled the school, corralling the students to safety, he stood silent as the fleeing mass swayed his hair one direction then the other. His focus fixed upon the school. The near inaudible squealing of brakes sounded out as a car stopped behind him. Out of the cab came Charlotte. She watched as her son, Kaleb, stared emotionless at the school.

A smile crept upon his lips, and then a moment later his gaze turned to something in the grass. She wondered to herself what it was when her son dropped his pack, rushed to the grass, and fell to his knees.

There lay a butterfly.

Kaleb inched closer, but backed away when the thing tried to take off into flight, but it couldn’t. One of its wings lay limp on its side, crushed. The single wing fluttered, and that was all. He cupped the dying creature in his hands and held it against his chest as he cried silently. His mother put a hand over her mouth, watching this rare display of affection from her child, and a moment later, she approached. She wrapped her arm around her son and spoke in the most motherly tones. Kaleb? What happened?

He looked to the heavens briefly before answering her. There was nothing I could do!

Tell me about the school.

Lightning.

She glanced up to the sky, and seeing the clear blue sky, she looked back at her son. There’s no storm.

Not there. His watery gaze moved toward the school, and hers followed. The windows lit up with sporadic flashes of light. They were quick and intense. As she took in the sight of so many windows flashing at random, finally he put a hand on hers.

After a moment’s pause, he responded. Let me show you.

The instant he darted into the school she screamed. Wait!

She followed him inside, but what she witnessed paralyzed her. A thousand bolts of lightning flashed in her eyes as she focused upon the one little sphere causing all the commotion. Her son, with open arms, walked slowly through the parade, laughing wildly as the sparks danced and skipped about him. He welcomed the sparks of electricity with open arms as they tickled his fingers and moved about haphazardly. However, it took only one look from his mother before he turned the machine off and stumped back to her.

With the saddest of eyes, he looked up to her. Nothing is forever.

Outside she paused briefly as Kaleb kneeled down, scooped the dead butterfly in his hands, and joined his mother inside the car. His soft whimpers tore at her heart the entire way home.

Once there, she watched in silence as he dug a small hole and buried the creature in the front yard. He laid on his stomach and stared at the small mound he had made. Charlotte approached and laid next to him.

You . . . I can’t help if you won’t let me in. What’s wrong?

I’m trying to think of a name.

She rubbed his head with a grin. Can I help?

He stared blankly at that mound for many moments before answering her. I’ve been thinking for a while.

And?

He closed his eyes as a few tears fell. There’s no name beautiful enough.

From this day forth, she taught him his lessons from home; never did he once step foot inside that school again, though he frequented the small mound as often as possible. He often spoke to her about how ‘special’ that moment was to him, and that even though the thing itself was gone, he could still see the beauty it brought to the world. One day, a single tear rolled down his cheek as he tried to remember that day, so long ago at the school. His mother put her arm around him and spoke in the softest tones. He’s in a better place now.

But why isn’t this one just as good? Why do they have to go?

Over the years, Kaleb grew into a young man. His mother guarded him with a relentless persistence, and though he did her every wish without question, it was his need to learn that eventually drove her to give up in her instinctual behaviors. His drive, ambition, and determination rolled ahead of her wishes and finally came down a path she let herself come to terms with. You want to go to college.

He shook his head. No! College is only the means.

She held back the tears forming in her eyes and hugged her son close. Listen. College is filled with . . . well, new people. Will you be okay?

His soft, intelligent eyes beamed bright. I know I don’t get out much, but I have to show them. There’s so much more!

Show them what? She said, wiping away a tear.

That the world is better off with me in it.

That’s all it took. Within a few months, Kaleb had reenrolled in college. The thought was frightening to him, and kept him up at night, though he kept a calm composure and focused upon his responsibilities. It was two weeks before classes started and as Kaleb unpacked his things in his new apartment, a smile spread over his lips. What a freedom this had turned into; the bills were picked up by the student loans and every waking hour could be devoted to his studies.

He hung whiteboards up wherever he could find space and grinned as his eyes landed on the mirror that stretched across an entire wall to make the apartment look bigger. He setup his computer and right off the bat started some soft music playing. Within moments, before he even got around to unpacking the bedroom or kitchen, he lifted a hand and as if choreographing the orchestra himself, closed his eyes and moved his hand in soft, flowing movements in the air.

That day, with so much time before classes started, Kaleb found many opportunities to himself. Though his phone never rang and his door was never knocked upon, his time filled with an endless stream of learning and mental exploration. His boards filled with hypothesis and conclusions while the large living room mirror soon became cluttered with equations and formulas. Finally he erected a large bookshelf that almost covered one entire wall. Box after box of books he unloaded and filled the shelves with various topics from art, science, history, and even the regular best-sellers.

One evening, just as he put down his latest reading project, he donned his shoes, quickly checked his hair, and headed out the door.

There he froze.

A young woman sat on the ground with her knees to her chest, leaning her head against a door, not two, or three down from him. Her near silent sobs were the only sound in the quiet hallway of the apartments. He stared at her, though after a moment he approached her.

I never like seeing a girl cry, not in sorrow.

The first thing through his mind was how ignorant his comment was, and due to the look on her face, she must’ve thought the same. Her tears stopped. Now that she looked at him, he could take in a good view of her face, though to see a girl while crying, he thought, never offers the chance to see her at her best. Even though, she was beautiful. Her bright green eyes looked up to him; she tucked her hair behind her ear and smiled faintly. I’m sorry to ruin your day. I’ll take my pains somewhere else.

He stood silent as she left the hall. His eyes traced the floors, the ceiling, and the walls, trying to reason how he could’ve conversed a little better. Why not ask if she was okay? He thought. In the end, he shook his head and headed back into his apartment.

Inside, he rubbed his temples and shook his head. He let out a guilty laugh, and smiled. I never liked seeing a girl cry. Perfect.

Kaleb immersed himself in his studies. From the earliest hours of the day until beyond the time when the neighbor’s loud music finally silenced, he toiled at his mirror and his whiteboards. Deep in thought, he paced quite a bit. He mumbled to himself, smiled, and then frowned. Once, while writing on the mirror, he paused, looked down, and laughed. As he wrote, again he mumbled to himself, Seeing a girl cry.

That evening he paced and thought constantly. More than once his endless circling brought him outside to his balcony where he’d simply reach the end, turn, and head back inside. He did this non-stop for a while until one time he stopped and sat on the balcony. His gaze turned upward. Deep in thought about his latest theory on prime numbers, an answer came to him. A bright smile covered his face and he traced out his answer in the air. His eyes wandered around and came to rest on the pool below his balcony.

Kaleb’s smile vanished.

Below him, a small crowd of students all looked his direction. They were all laughing. Three young women sat in pool chairs, tanning, and nearly twice as many boys hovered around them, all looking his way. One of the girls shaded her eyes, looked to his balcony, and shook her head. Within a second, he vanished back inside the apartment.

That night he thought hard about his life, how his endless nights of learning and discovery had left him with a social handicap, and his isolation had formed an invisible, imaginary world for his mind. He paced to no end, though he wore no smile tonight. Kaleb thought about those students in the pool and fears rose in the pit of his stomach. Tomorrow was the first day of class, and it terrified him. To have to sit with so many strangers . . . what if the teacher asks him a question? What if they all make fun of him?

As the night grew a slight chill in the air, he sat motionless on his balcony. He stared to the stars with tears in his eyes. Many hours passed before his eyes dried up. He moved back into the apartment and paced around. At last, he stopped, fell to his knees, and clasped his hands together in prayer.

Will you talk to me? I’m going to need some help tomorrow. I don’t know what I’m doing. I need answers. Why does it feel like the harder I grasp at life, the faster it disappears in the distance?

His head lowered and he cried heavily. Why am I even here?

A long time passed with him crouched on the floor. Memories of his isolated past flashed in his mind. He could still see the vivid image of that single wing flapping in the grass, that frail creature that once brought such beauty into the world. Just then, an image of a young girl entered his thoughts. He remembered how torn she appeared to him, crying in the hallway. To him, she resembled that butterfly, so hurt and helpless. His damp eyes suddenly opened, stared to a wall. Do me a favor? If you only answer one prayer from me, let it be this. Help her. Whoever she was, she was hurting. If you could help her to smile again, I’d be forever grateful.

Unspoken Answers

Corina lay on her stomach patiently by the pool, writing in her diary. A boy named Charlie sat next to her. Come on. It’ll be fun. He nudged her arm, and persisted, what are you writing about, me?

Corina stopped writing, closed her eyes. I try to write only happy thoughts.

Are you still upset about that kiss thing? I told you I’m sorry.

But you weren’t. I could see it.

Charlie tapped Ed and motioned to a balcony above them. Look at that! This one needs a white padded room for sure.

Corina rolled over and looked up at the balcony. A student paced in and out of the apartment. He finally came to a stop and stared into the sky with a bright, genuine smile. She couldn’t take her eyes away as he traced something in the air.

Ed glanced around at the three ladies, tanning in their swimsuits. All this scenery down here and he’s staring into the sky. This one’s questionable for sure.

Just as that student’s eyes lowered to the pool, every one of the boys laughed.

Welcome to earth. Charlie said.

Corina shaded her eyes, looked up the balcony.

I come in peace. Ed laughed, and Corina, disgusted with them, merely shook her head. The student above quickly disappeared inside the apartment and never returned.

You guys are so immature. She said.

Corina thought she’d seen that student before, somewhere in the past. That night she couldn’t shake the feeling that she recognized him. Her friend Linda sat with her in her small dorm room as they chatted. Why does it matter?

Corina circled her living room, scratched her head. I don’t know. There was just something so sincere in his eyes.

I think you need to go see Charlie, clear your head.

We’re done.

Linda tugged on Corina’s arm. Because he tried to kiss you? He’s a boy, that’s what they do.

Corina sank into the couch, and smiled. That’s where!

Where what?

That’s where I’ve seen him. That day he saw me in the hall. The memory cycled over and again in her mind, her crying, his confused look, and his spoken words. She remembered the honest, yet concerned look when he talked, and she remembered her response.

Corina put her head in her hands. I was such a jerk.

The next morning Corina woke with a smile. She pulled away her covers just as the piercing rays of the sun shot through the window. Linda stirred with a grumble. As Corina popped out of bed and gathered some clothes, Linda observed, still half asleep. You’re awful cheery this morning.

Corina said nothing as she smiled, and went to the shower. An hour later, she was in class. She looked all around at the new faces and opened her book with enthusiasm. The instructor, Professor Remner, entered, shut the door and went to the board. All right. I’m Professor Remner. I’d like to go around the room and get a feel for each of your majors. To some this an elective, though to others this might be a prerequisite.

The professor asked them, one by one, and seemed to make mental notes after each answer. When he came to Corina, she smiled, and nearly jumped in her seat. Oh! I don’t have a major yet.

The entire class smirked and giggled. Remner merely shook his head. You’re awful happy about that, aren’t you?

Just then, the door to the room opened. The entire class turned to see who opened it and every eye in the room came to rest upon a single student. A hint of sadness filled Corina’s heart as this young man’s face flushed with a bright red. He rubbed his hands down his pant legs as his eyes, wide and alert, darted around the room.

I’m glad you could make it. Could you tell us your major, please? The student’s voice, barely audible, cracked when he spoke, Electronics.

Very well. Take a seat.

Every eye in the room stared as this young man fumbled with his book, dropped his pen and even bumped a couple desks before finally plopping down in an empty seat.

Throughout the hour he did little more than write in a journal. Corina rarely took her eyes off him. He held a strange aura about him, one that attracted gazes as though his on-lookers stood in perpetual fascination as to what he might do next. Remner seemed to grow frustrated with him. He leaned against his desk, closed his journal, and peered down to him through his glasses. Do you think you could stay with us for just this one hour?

The student answered, never looking up from his desk, Yes.

And can you tell me the answer to the question on the board?

Yes.

Remner waited, looked around the room, but no one so much as twitched. Can you show me?

Corina was positive that the poor young man’s heart must’ve been beating like a drum. He looked about the room. Can’t I show you after class?

She looked around at the eruption of laughter and something sank within her. She hated to see people in uncomfortable situations. Times like these she wanted nothing more than to reach out and offer a helping hand. To sit here and see a person be made fun of tore at her heart. The relentless badgering from Remner and the students only seemed to intensify as the student retracted within himself even more.

I think you can show me now. Remner said.

The poor kid took a breath, glanced up at the board, and shook his head. He got up, and when he grabbed the chalk, even those in the back row could see the shaking of his hands. As he wrote, though, one by one the stifled laughs and whispers fell silent. The quick tapping of the chalk against the board intensified as the answer formed on the board. Remner’s eyes never blinked. The entire class stared when he wrote the final stroke. He slashed the chalk with force, snapping it in two, sending a piece flying a couple feet away. His eyes never looked up when he passed the teacher’s desk, threw the other piece of chalk upon it, and found his seat.

Amazing. We don’t even cover most of that in this class. Remner said.

We, Professor? The student said.

Even from Corina’s view from the back row, it was evident the professor had pushed just a bit too far. The sternness in the young man’s answer had strength to it.

Very well, another.

Remner started to write on the board, How would you solve this one?

The tormented student glanced at the board, then back down at his journal. He took in another deep breath and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

Come on. Show the class.

Corina, and the entire class for that matter, froze in silence. The look on that student’s face had turned from panic and fright, to a controlled anger. He stared at his closed journal for the longest moment before Remner approached. If you want to pass this course, you’ll answer my questions.

Immediately the young man stood and went to the board. His demeanor seemed irritated. He answered the question, but once done, he didn’t sit. Instead, he started filling the rest of the board. The entire class, even Remner, stared on as the board filled with math. The longer he wrote, the more Corina’s smile grew. After what seemed to her like a few minutes, the student wiped his hands, sat down, and delivered a piercing gaze to Professor Remner. Your turn, Professor. How would you solve that one?

Remner said nothing as he stared at the board, his mouth agape. Nearly every student in the room exchanged excited glances, and Corina couldn’t help but look in amazement as that poor, shy student gathered his things and stood. Call me if you need help.

Just when he passed Corina, she put a hand over her mouth and laughed at the Professor, as did most of the class. A moment later the bell rung and the room erupted with students hustling to escape, leaving only Remner in place, staring at the board.

Corina darted out the door, looked both ways down the hall, but the student had already disappeared. She wandered down the hall, chuckling to herself. Just then, he emerged from the bathroom. Corina broke into a trot to reach him. A moment later, she stood before him. Hello.

His blue eyes relaxed and held a sharp sparkle as he looked at the girl before him.

Hello, he said.

Corina shuffled a bit, pulled her books tighter in her arms. I just wanted to apologize for the other day. I’m Corina, by the way.

His eyes lowered in thought, then came back to hers. Don’t worry yourself, Corina. It’s not the first time. Somehow I doubt it will be the last.

When he disappeared into the crowd, Corina stood there, baffled. Her mind raced through the scene with her crying in the hallway. Won’t be the last? she whispered to herself. Suddenly she remembered the pool when the boys taunted him.

That night Corina sat up with Linda in the dorm room. He thinks I was making fun of him.

Don’t most people?

Linda, that’s not the point.

Linda scooted next to her, smiling big. So what’s this I hear about some challenge in class? I heard it embarrassed Mister Remner something fierce.

Corina smiled. Did it ever. Remner pushed and pushed, knowing it was tormenting the guy, so he answered the question on the board, then wrote one of his own and told Remner to answer it.

Did he?

You wanna know the best part? Just as he left, he told Remner to call him if he needed help. It’s what he gets for being such a jerk to him in front of the whole class. You should’ve seen him. He was so nervous, and Remner played on it.

I’ll bet he thinks twice now.

Corina only stared into the distance, I felt so sorry for him.

The next day Corina sat by the pool. She constantly glared up at that balcony, hoping to see him again. She didn’t feel quite right about her apology and thought she needed to do it better.

The minutes, the hours passed and nothing. Never once did his door to his balcony open. Even the next day as she waited in Remner’s classroom, he never showed. Time and again she bathed in the sun, by the pool and rarely caught more than an a faint glance at someone pacing within the apartment.

One day, that very Friday, he finally showed up to Mister Remner’s class. It amused her to observe the Professor’s reactions to him. Remner passed out question after question, always skipping over the student writing in the journal. One of his questions came to Corina. Corina? Could you tell me what class this falls under? He said, pointing to the board. She looked all around for her answer, and as every student faced her, waiting, she remained silent. She looked around the room and her gaze fell on a single pair of eyes. Those soft, blue eyes no longer read from the journal. Another moment passed before she noticed his lips as he mouthed the answer. She studied them closer. I would say . . . class B sir.

Very good Corina!

Just as the class turned to the board, one student remained fixed in his spot. Corina smiled, mouthed the words ‘thank you’ back to him.

When the bell rung and students left the room, Corina waited outside, checking each passing head. Finally, she found the one she was looking for.

Wait a minute. Can I talk to you?

He looked to her and a gentle smile grew on his lips. You again.

Will you walk with me to my next class?

Okay.

He stared at her with questioning eyes.

I’d like to ask you something if I could. She said.

If I answer, will you answer a question for me?

She grinned, shuffled her books around. You’re not going to embarrass me like you did Remner, are you?

I wasn’t aware I embarrassed anyone.

Are you kidding? The whole campus is talking about it. It was great!

His eyes danced around the floor as a concerned look spread over his face. That wasn’t my intention, I just wanted to give him something to think about.

It’s okay. He deserved it in my opinion. He was drilling you for no reason.

He smiled, nodded. You had a question?

When I apologized to you, what did you think it was for?

He trailed off in thought before answering, Such an odd question.

She turned to face him, placing her hand on his arm. Look, that day in the hall, I was . . . it wasn’t a good day.

He closed his eyes for a brief moment and nodded. All is forgiven. When they started walking again, he spoke. So can I ask my question? Why were you crying?

They stopped in the hall, faced each other, and stood in silence. When Corina smiled, so did he.

You never answered my question. She said.

Very well. I had no clue what you were apologizing for, but now I see it was about that day in the hall. So, why were you crying?

They walked a bit; Corina glanced around to find her answer. Someone wanted me to do something I didn’t want to do, and so he broke up with me. So you said you never liked seeing a girl cry.

As long as she’s crying from joy, I don’t mind.

What about guys? Corina asked.

He glanced at the floor, smiled and looked up to her. They should only cry if the girl sheds tears of sorrow.

She lowered her head. Unfortunately that’s where those came from.

I know. I could see it in your eyes.

She pondered briefly before she tilted her head, and spoke. So did you cry for me then?

They stopped walking and she turned to him. His face went blank and his eyes closed. Maybe we should continue this later. He opened his eyes and took a deep breath. Enjoy your next class, Corina.

A moment later, he was gone.

That night Corina thought for a long time about her previous conversation. After playing back his gentle voice and kind eyes in her mind, she knew deep down that he had in fact cried for her. A perfect stranger felt enough for her well-being to shed a tear, even when she didn’t give quite the nicest response that day. He was quite the change from the shallow, self-centered guys she’d dated in the past. Even Charlie, who she swore to her friends, was perfect, turned out so ordinary: selfish and driven to her for the wrong reasons.

She smiled to herself when she understood that her new friend’s comments and answers were not only from the heart, they were pure, true. It really hurt him to see her in pain. And with that thought, she rolled over and fell asleep.

The next day Corina woke as usual. She flipped open the curtains and let in the bright light of the morning. Linda covered her eyes and gasped. Couldn’t you wait a couple hours? Though Corina simply smiled, sniffed the morning air. I’ll be at the pool today if you need me.

Linda leaned up, and wiped her eyes. You’re spending and awful lot of time there these days. Tell me this has nothing to do with nerd boy.

Corina smiled wide and planted herself next to Linda. Have you ever had a stranger cry for you before?

No.

Corina smiled wide.

By the pool, Corina waited with her diary. She wrote a passage about her strange new friend and just when she finished it was time to take a swim. Round after round she swam in the cool waters until she noticed him. Through the blurry waters, leaning over his balcony, her new friend stood for the briefest of moments. She erupted from the pool. Wait!

Before she knew it, he ducked back inside. She pulled herself out of the water and headed toward the apartments.

In the hall, her wet, bare feet slapped against the hard floor as she grew closer to his door. She came to Charlie’s door, paused, and smiled as she glanced toward another. Two doors down she knocked and waited.

When the door opened, her heart skipped a beat. The look on the handsome young man’s face that stood before her was priceless. There was a difference of emotions, as though he wanted to laugh and cry all in one spot. Instead, he wrapped a