What has happened

To honoring?
by ina painter
Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the
land which the Lord your God gives you (Exodus 20:12 NAS).
Children obey your parents in the LORD, for this is right honor your father and
mother (which is the rst commandment with a promise), so that it may be will
with you, and that you may live long on the earth (Ephesians 6:1,2 NAS).
You shall have no other gods before Me (Exodus 30:3 NAS).
A
teacher left her teaching career to raise a family. She had always greeted
her class with Good morning students, to which they replied, Good
morning, Mrs. Brown. When she returned twenty-seven years later she
greeted her class as she had before, only this time the class screamed, Good morn-
ing bitch! What happened in that length of time?
One of the tragedies of our culture is the disobedience of young children and
the prevalent ungovernable, deance of many young adults. We are reaping the
overwhelming rebellion to the fth commandment. Young adults applaud their
free-speech derisions as if they were brilliant truths. Generally speaking, if you are
around young people, Christian or not, sooner than later their condescending dis-
honor oozes out. Mother, you arent wearing that are you? Dad, you dont know
Counsel of Chalcedon Issue 1 2011
18
What Has Happened to Honoring?
how to do that! Its a subtle cancer rag-
ing out of control. Young people, except
two year olds, do not want to look like,
smell like, sound like, buy, wear, drive,
anything resembling an older person.
And the possibility of them seeing their
mother or father in the mirror, and re-
alizing it is them, is the worst thing that
could ever happen.
Uncorrected children and young
adults pave an avenue for parental self-
pity, that debilitating, wound-licking
sin. It buries many a parent in depres-
sion, tempting them to indulge in what-
ever is available to sweeten their bitter
cup. Its a disgrace that many parents
are painfully marginalized by those
carved out of their own bodies.
A Christian bookstore cashier, in
a megaphone voice, spoke about her
deceased father. He was too strict. He
wouldnt listen to us children and never
allowed us to question anything he said.
We grew up hating him. Now my chil-
dren hate him too. I was embarrassed
for the woman, railing the memory
of her father like that! Te Bible says:
Tere is a generation that curses its
father, and does not bless its mother.
Tere is a generation that is pure in its
own eyes, yet is not washed from its
lthiness (Proverbs 30:11, 12 NKJ).
What do the Ten
Commandments have
to do with honor?
Everything! Te Moral Law is entirely
comprehensive and authoritative. It ex-
tends to every thought and action. None
of the Ten Commandments stand apart
from the whole. It cannot be unlawful
to kill, but lawful to dishonor father and
mother. Te Ten Commandments are
foundational, complete and cannot be
broken (John 10:35). When we violate
one, we violate all (James 2:10).
Many Christians feel their duty to
love God and others, is separate and
more and important than their duty to
obey Gods commandments. Portray-
ing a tolerating, good-natured gush of
loving feelings, only betrays the God
of love. Our feelings are neither our
standard nor our guide. If we interpret
Scripture based on our feelings, the
Bible becomes our book, our self-revela-
tion to manipulate as we please.
A woman in a Bible class an-
nounced: All God wants us to do is
love Him and each another. We dont
have to keep the law anymore. No one
said anything, not even the teacher. Te
Bible makes no such separation. It says
If you love Me you will keep My com-
mandments (John 14:15 NAS). Usually
on the heels of that loving statement
is the misinterpretation of Romans
6:14: We are no longer under law but
under grace.
19 Counsel of Chalcedon Issue 1 2011
What Has Happened to Honoring?
It is true; the Lord Jesus has deliv-
ered us from the curse of the law. While
we are dead to the law, the law is not
dead. Romans 7:4 tells us we truly are
freed from the law, in that the law no
longer condemns us; however, we are not
freed from the law to live as we please.
We were born under the laws death sen-
tence right from the start. Our earned
wages deserved death because of our
sins, and our sin natures (Romans 6:23).
Christ rescued us from the laws indict-
ment, interposing His atoning blood.
Tat took care of our law-breaking, so
we could be law-keeping.
How is the righteous requirement
of the law (Romans 8:1-4) to be fullled
in us if we are no longer to keep the law?
Faith does not free us from the very law
that Christ died to fulll. If we throw
out Gods standard, what standard are
we to use? Te answer is that we are
to use Gods righteous law-standard,
plainly written in both the Old and New
Testaments. It is the only standard to
direct our lives. It is also the standard
by which we are judged. Scripture says
anyone who teaches otherwise shall be
called least in the kingdom of heaven
(Matthew 5:19).
When the Bible says Christ ful-
lled the law, it does not mean He did
away with it. No, He kept the law in our
behalf, fullling every demand. Te
law said we should die for our sins, and
rightly so; however, God laid upon Jesus
the sins of His elect (Isaiah 53:6). Tats
why we are enabled to have peace with
God. Te condemning power of sin and
guilt are removed (Romans 8:1).
Te rst commandment directs
us to love and obey God, giving Him
our strongest aections, honoring
Him above all else and serving Him
exactly as He commands. When we
violate this directive everything is
down hill from there. Nothing is right.
Everything is wrong. It cannot be any
other way.
Our rst duty, You shall have no
other gods before me (Exodus 20:3), is
summarized in the Larger Catechism
Q. and A.104:
Te duties required in the rst
commandment are: knowing and
acknowledging of God to be the
only true God, and our God; and
to worship and glorify him ac-
cordingly, by thinking, meditat-
ing, remembering, highly esteem-
ing, honoring, adoring, choosing,
loving, desiring, fearing of him,
believing him; trusting, hoping,
delighting, rejoicing in him; being
zealous for him, calling upon him,
giving all praise and thanks, and
yielding all obedience and submis-
sion to him with the whole man;
being careful in all things to please
him, and sorrowful when in any-
thing he is oended; and walking
humbly with him. 1
Honoring is not unmerciful

servitude.
It is Gods pathway of blessing. God in-
structs all childrenincluding you and
Counsel of Chalcedon Issue 1 2011
20
What Has Happened to Honoring?
meto render obedience, not only to
our parents, but to all God has placed
around us and in authority over us.
Honor begins in the heart. Its more
than smiling, playing the role, keeping
our mouths shut until we can tell, email
or text a friend how we really feel.
Every one of you shall revere his
mother and his father, and keep My
Sabbaths; I am the LORD your God
(Leviticus 19:3). Tis includes in-
ward reverence and esteem, outward
expressions of respect, obedience to
the lawful commands of parents, care
and endeavor to please and make them
easy, and to avoid everything that may
oend and grieve them, and incur their
displeasure. It is added, and keep my
Sabbaths. If God provides by His law
for the preserving of the honour of par-
ents, parents must use their authority
over their children for the preserving
of the honour of God, particularly the
honour of His Sabbaths 2
We are to honor to our parents,
regardless of their age or position in
life. Tere comes a time when young
children become adults and the re-
quirement for obeying parents shifts
to other authority gures. Tere never
comes a time, however, when any of us
outgrow our duty. Joseph, Governor of
Egypt, second only to Pharaoh, hum-
bled himself before his father Jacob
(Genesis 48:12). Isaac gave honor by
digging again the wells of his father
and calling them by the same names
(Genesis 26:18). You shall rise up be-
fore the gray headed and honor the
aged, and you shall revere your God;
I am the Lord (Leviticus 19:32 NAS).
We must honor God and teach
our children and grandchildren to
honor Him also. Children do not natu-
rally honor God, or us. If we leave them
to their sinful, self-indulgent desires,
they will turn out just like the neigh-
bors kids! Tey need to be taught Gods
word and see it lived out in our lives
without hypocrisies and double stan-
dards. Otherwise the rod of correction,
or even the preposterous time-out
stands in a corner, will have little inu-
ence against tyranthood.
Our neighbors fourteen-year old
was showing o her driving skills in
the driveway of her parents two-story
home. She confused the accelerator
with the brake, collapsing a portion
of the garage and roof. Te estimated
repairs exceeded $35,000. Te parents
21 Counsel of Chalcedon Issue 1 2011
What Has Happened to Honoring?
reported the incident to the insurance
company, claiming the mother was
behind the wheel of the car. Te par-
ents example has no doubt had a last-
ing inuence on their daughter.
Te Shorter Catechism gives
specic directives, including what
God requires and what He forbids.
Q64: What is required in the rth
commandment? A: Te fth com-
mandment requireth the preserving
the honour, and performing the du-
ties, belonging to everyone in their
several places and relations, as supe-
rior, inferiors, or equals.
3
Q65: What is forbidden in the
rth commandment? A: Te fth
commandment forbiddeth the ne-
glecting or, doing any thing against,
the honour and duty which belongeth
to every one in their several places
and relations.
4
Honoring has no expiration
date or exemption clause. Honor
begins with God, then proceeds to
parents, wives to husbands and hus-
bands to wives (Ephesians 5); the
elders in the Church (Phil.1:1; Acts
20:28; Heb.13:17); civil leaders (Ro-
mans 13:1-7), and all people in gener-
al (1 Peter 2:17). Troughout our lives
God brings us into subordinating
situations, placing authority gures
over us to whom we owe accountabil-
ity and respect. Because God, in His
Divine providence has placed each
person in our path, we are to show
them honor, whether we consider
them worthy or not. Tere is no al-
ternative to honoring the persons be-
hind the food counter at the fast-food
restaurant, or the driver of the car in
front of us. No one is exempt. As long
as we live we are to give honor to oth-
ers, even after they have died.
Te function of godly families
is at the core of a Christian society.
Just as Christ was anchored in a fam-
ily, so are we. We are part of a divine
institution appointed for our nurture
and protection. God established mer-
ciful laws to govern and protect the
family. He created an authority order,
which carries either a blessing or a
curse. It is within the family that we
learn basic lessons from those who
are accountable to God to watch over
our souls. Christ perfectly honored
and obeyed his earthly parents, leav-
ing us an example.
All of society is aected when
there is a breakdown in godly train-
ing and loving discipline back at
the ranch! Te Proverbs get right to
the point about discipline, and it isnt
called child abuse either! Do not
hold back discipline from the child,
although you strike him with the rod,
he will not die. You shall strike him
with the rod and rescue his soul from
Sheol (Proverbs 23:13-14 NAS). Te
rod and reproof give wisdom, but a
child who gets his own way brings
shame to his mother (Proverbs 29:15
NAS). Correct your son, and he will
give you comfort; he will also delight
your soul (Proverbs 29:17 NAS).
Cease listening, my son, to discipline,
and you will stray from the words of
knowledge (Proverbs 19:27 NAS).
Counsel of Chalcedon Issue 1 2011
22
What Has Happened to Honoring?
Remember when our parents
attached incentives to their com-
mands? Eat your food and you can
go out and play. Make good grades
in school and employers hire you.
Te fth commandment has an at-
tached promise, an added incentive,
only better! Honor your father and
mother, which is the rst command-
ment with promise: that it may be
well with you and you may live long
on the earth (Ephesians 6:2, 3). Du-
tiful obedience under Gods bless-
ing, prolongs life, for it implies the
possession of principles of restraint,
sobriety, and industry, which secure
a lengthened existence.
5
Now we come to the end, where
we draw a line between godless and
godly. Its the best part! Weve looked
at the situation and now were going
to look at that about-face, wonder-
ful word, nevertheless. Its a lot like
but, and however. Tese words
are the in-spite-of words that give
us hope.
Nevertheless He saved them for
the sake of His name, that He might
make His power known (Psalm 106:8
NAS). Nevertheless, He looked upon
their distress when He heard their
cry; and He remembered His cove-
nant for their sake (vs. 44). Charles
Spurgeon asked: If God should not
shew mercy to his people with a nev-
ertheless, how should the glory of his
mercy appear?
6

All is not lost. God is bringing
everything along just as He decreed
in one thought from all eternity (Act
15:18). Light is overcoming dark-
ness. His Kingdom is being extended
in calendar time. And even if you
are like me and do not honor oth-
ers perfectly, and your children and
grandchildren are following in your
footsteps, all is not lost. We are and
they are, His covenant children. He
is growing us in grace, bringing us
along. And because He is, we have no
reason to mourn as those who have
no hope.
Footnotes
1. James Benjamin Green, A Harmony of the
Westminster Presbyterian Standards, (1951
reprint. Collins World, 1976) 120.
2. Matthew Henry, Matthew Henrys Commen-
tary, vol.1 (1710 reprint. Delaware: Sover-
eign Grace, 1972) 303.
3. Te Shorter Catechism with Scripture Proofs,
Questions 64, 65 (Banner of Truth Trust)
n.d.
4. Ibid., 19.
5. Georey B. Wilson, Ephesians, (Banner of
Truth, 1978) 124.
6 C.H. Spurgeon, Te Treasury of David, vol.2
(Zondervan, 1966) 380.
ina painter