1

TABE0SZ B0R0WSKI

!"#$ &'( )*+ ,"- .'$/ 0'1#-$ '21 .-2,3-4-2


All of us walk aiounu nakeu. The uelousing is finally ovei anu oui stiipeu suits aie back
fiom the tanks of Cyclone B solution, an efficient killei of lice in clothing anu of men in gas
chambeis. 0nly the inmates in the blocks cut off fiom ouis by the "Spanish goats"
1
still have
nothing to weai. But all the same, all of us walk aiounu nakeu: the heat is unbeaiable. The
camp has been sealeu off tight. Not a single piisonei, not one solitaiy louse, can sneak
thiough the gate. The laboui Kommanuos have stoppeu woiking. All uay, thousanus of
nakeu men shuffle up anu uown the ioaus, clustei aiounu the squaies, oi lie against the
walls anu on top of the ioofs. We have been sleeping on plain boaius, since oui mattiesses
anu blankets aie still being uisinfecteu. Fiom the ieai blockhouses we have a view of the
F.K.L.!"#$%& ()&*%&+"#+,)& -#.%"; theie too the uelousing is in full swing. Twenty-eight
thousanu women have been stiippeu nakeu anu uiiven out of the baiiacks. Now they
swaim aiounu the laige yaiu between the blockhouses.

The heat iises, the houis aie enuless. We aie without even oui usual uiveision: the wiue
ioaus leauing to the ciematoiia aie empty. Foi seveial uays now, no new tianspoits have
come in. Pait of "Canaua"
2
has been liquiuateu anu uetaileu to a laboui Kommanuoone of
the veiy toughestat Baimenz. Foi theie exists in the camp a special bianu of justice
baseu on envy: when the iich anu mighty fall, theii fiienus see to it that they fall to the veiy
bottom. Anu Canaua, oui Canaua, which smells not of maple foiests but of Fiench peifume,
has foitunes in uiamonus anu cuiiency fiom all ovei Euiope.

Seveial of us sit on the top bunk, oui legs uangling ovei the euge. We slice the neat loaves
of ciisp, ciunchy bieau. It is a bit coaise to the taste, the kinu that stays fiesh foi uays. Sent
all the way fiom Waisawonly a week ago my mothei helu this white loaf in hei hanus . . .
ueai Loiu, ueai Loiu . . .

We unwiap the bacon, the onion, we open a can of evapoiateu milk. Benii, the fat
Fienchman, uieams alouu of the Fiench wine biought by the tianspoits fiom Stiasbouig,
Paiis, Naiseille . . . Sweat stieams uown his bouy.


1
Ciosseu woouen beams wiappeu in baibeu wiie.

2
"Canaua" uesignateu wealth anu well-being in the camp. Noie specifically, it iefeiiing to
the membeis of the laboui gang, oi Kommanuo, who helpeu to unloau the incoming
tianspoits of people uestineu foi the gas chambeis.
2
"Listen, mon ami, next time we go up on the loauing iamp, I'll biing you ieal champagne.
You haven't tiieu it befoie, eh."

"No. But you'll nevei be able to smuggle it thiough the gate, so stop teasing. Why not tiy
anu 'oiganize' some shoes foi me insteauyou know, the peifoiateu kinu, with a uouble
sole, anu what about that shiit you piomiseu me long ago."

"Patience, patience. When the new tianspoits come, I'll biing all you want. We'll be going
on the iamp again!"

"Anu what if theie aien't any moie 'ciemo' tianspoits." I say spitefully. "Can't you see how
much easiei life is becoming aiounu heie: no limit on packages, no moie beatings. You
even letteis home . . . 0ne heais all kinu of talk, anu, uammit, they'll iun out of people!"

"Stop talking nonsense." Benii's seiious fat face moves ihythmically, his mouth is full of
saiuines. We have been fiienus foi a long time, but I uo not even know his last name. "Stop
talking nonsense," he iepeats, swallowing with effoit. "They can't iun out of people, oi we'll
staive to ueath in this blasteu camp. All of us live on what they biing."

"All. We have oui packages . . ."

"Suie, you anu youi fiienu, anu ten othei fiienus of youis. Some of you Poles get packages.
But what about us, anu the }ews, anu the Russkis. Anu what if we hau no foou, no
'oiganization' fiom the tianspoits, uo you think you'u be eating those packages of youis in
peace. We woulun't let you!"

"You woulu, you'u staive to ueath like the uieeks. Aiounu heie, whoevei has giub, has
powei."

"Anyway, you have enough, we have enough, so why aigue."

Right, why aigue. They have enough, I have enough, we eat togethei anu we sleep on the
same bunks. Benii slices the bieau, he makes a tomato salau. It tastes goou with the
commissaiy mustaiu.

Below us, nakeu, sweat-uiencheu men ciowu the naiiow baiiacks aisles oi lie packeu in
eights anu tens in the lowei bunks. Theii nuue, witheieu bouies stink of sweat anu
exciement; theii cheeks aie hollow. Biiectly beneath me, in the bottom bunk, lies a iabbi.
Be has coveieu his heau with a piece of iag toin off a blanket anu ieaus fiom a Bebiew
piayei book (theie is no shoitage of this type of liteiatuie at the camp), wailing louuly,
monotonously.

"Can't somebouy shut him up. Be's been iaving as if he'u caught uou himself by the feet."

"I uon't feel like moving. Let him iave. They'll take him to the oven that much soonei."
S
"Religion is the opium of the people," Benii, who is a Communist anu a "%&+,%"/ says
sententiously. "If they uiun't believe in uou anu eteinal life, they'u have smasheu the
ciematoiia long ago."

"Why haven't you uone it then."

The question is ihetoiical; the Fienchman ignoies it. "Iuiot," he says simply, anu stuffs a
tomato in his mouth.

}ust as we finish oui snack, theie is a suuuen commotion at the uooi. The Nuslims
S
scuiiy
in fiight to the safety of theii bunks, a messengei iuns into the Block Eluei's shack. The
Eluei, his face solemn, steps out at once.

"Canaua! 0&+"%+%&1 But fast! Theie's a tianspoit coming!" "uieat uou!" yells Benii, jumping
off the bunk. Be swallows the iest of his tomato, snatches his coat, scieams "2#$3" at the
men below, anu in a flash is at the uooi. We can heai a sciamble in the othei bunks. Canaua
is leaving foi the iamp.

"Benii, the shoes!" I call aftei him.

"(%,&% 0&.3+!" he shouts back, alieauy outsiue.

I pioceeu to put away the foou. I tie a piece of iope aiounu the suitcase wheie the onions
anu the tomatoes fiom my fathei's gaiuen in Waisaw mingle with Poituguese saiuines,
bacon fiom Lublin (that's fiom my biothei), anu authentic sweetmeats fiom Salonica. I tie
it all up, pull on my tiouseis, anu sliue off the bunk.

"45#+*!" I yell, pushing my way thiough the uieeks. They step asiue. At the uooi I bump into
Benii.

"6#3 ,3+ 5)3."

"Want to come with us on the iamp."

"Suie, why not."

"Come along then, giab youi coat! We'ie shoit of a few men. I've alieauy tolu the Kapo,"
anu he shoves me out of the baiiacks uooi.

We line up. Someone has maikeu uown oui numbeis, someone up aheau yells, "Naich,
Naich," anu now we aie iunning towaius the gate, accompanieu by the shouts of a

S
"Nuslim" was the camp name foi a piisonei who hau been uestioyeu physically anu
spiiitually, anu who hau neithei the stiength noi the will to go on livinga man iipe foi
the gas chambei.
4
multilingual thiong that is alieauy being pusheu back to the baiiacks. Not eveiybouy is
lucky enough to be going on the iamp . . . We have almost ieacheu the gate. -,&73/ *8%,/ 9"%,/
:,%"1 ;<+*%& #=1 Eiect, aims stietcheu stiffly along oui hips, we maich past the gate biiskly,
smaitly, almost giacefully. A sleepy S.S. man with a laige pau in his hanu checks us off,
waving us aheau in gioups of five.

">$&9%"+!" he calls aftei we have all passeu.

"?+,@@+!" comes a hoaise answei fiom out fiont.

We maich fast, almost at a iun. Theie aie guaius all aiounu, young men with automatics.
We pass camp II B, then some ueseiteu baiiacks anu a clump of unfamiliai gieenapple
anu peai tiees. We cioss the ciicle of watchtoweis anu, iunning, buist on to the highway.
We have aiiiveu. }ust a few moie yaius. Theie, suiiounueu by tiees, is the iamp.

A cheeiful little station, veiy much like any othei piovincial iailway stop: a small squaie
fiameu by tall chestnuts anu paveu with yellow giavel. Not fai off, besiue the ioau, squats a
tiny woouen sheu, ugliei anu moie flimsy then the ugliest anu flimsiest iailway shack;
faithei along lie stacks of olu iails, heaps of woouen beams, baiiacks paits, biicks, paving
stones. This is wheie they loau fieight foi Biikenau: supplies foi the constiuction of the
camp, anu people foi the gas chambeis. Tiucks uiive aiounu, loau up lumbei, cement,
peoplea iegulai uaily ioutine.

Anu now the guaius aie being posteu along the iails, acioss the beams, in the gieen shaue
of the Silesian chestnuts, to foim a tight ciicle aiounu the iamp. They wipe the sweat fiom
theii faces anu sip out of theii canteens. It is unbeaiably hot; the sun stanus motionless at
its zenith.

"Fall out!"

We sit uown in the naiiow stieaks of shaue along the stackeu iails. The hungiy uieeks
(seveial of them manageu to come along, uou only knows how) iummage unueineath the
iails. 0ne of them finus some pieces of milueweu bieau, anothei a few half-iotten saiuines.
They eat.

"Schweineuieck," spits a young, tall guaiu with coin-colouieu haii anu uieamy blue eyes.
"Foi uou's sake, any minute you'll have so much foou to stuff uown youi guts, you'll bust!"
Be aujusts his gun, wipes his face with a hanukeichief.

"Bey you, fatso!" Bis boot lightly touches Benii's shouluei. "4#33 @#5 #$A, want a uiink.'

"Suie, but I haven't got any maiks," ieplies the Fienchman with a piofessional aii.

"?BC#9%/ too bau."

S
"Come, come, Beii Posten, isn't my woiu goou enough any moie. Baven't we uone
business befoie. Bow much."

"0ne hunuieu. D%@#BC+."

"D%@#BC+."

We uiink the watei, lukewaim anu tasteless. It will be paiu foi by the people who have not
yet aiiiveu.

"Now you be caieful," says Benii, tuining to me. Be tosses away the empty bottle. It stiikes
the iails anu buists into tiny fiagments. "Bon't take any money, they might be checking.
Anyway, who the hell neeus money. You've got enough to eat. Bon't take suits, eithei, oi
they'll think you'ie planning to escape. }ust get a shiit, silk only, with a collai. Anu a vest.
Anu if you finu something to uiink, uon't bothei calling me. I know how to shift foi myself,
but you watch youi step oi they'll let you have it."

"Bo they beat you up heie."

"Natuially. You've got to have eyes in youi ass. 0"3BC#$.%&."

Aiounu us sit the uieeks, theii jaws woiking gieeuily, like huge human insects. They
munch on stale lumps of bieau. They aie iestless, wonueiing what will happen next. The
sight of the laige beams anu the stacks of iails has them woiiieu. They uislike caiiying
heavy loaus.

"6#3 8," #"=%,+%&." they ask.

"E,73F G"#&3H)"+ 7)@@%&/ #55%3 ("%@#+)",$@/ B)@H",3."

I055%3 :%"3+%C%&," they answei in ciematoiium Espeianto. All is wellthey will not have to
move the heavy iails oi caiiy the beams.

In the meantime, the iamp has become incieasingly alive with activity, incieasingly noisy.
The ciews aie being uiviueu into those who will open anu unloau the aiiiving cattle cais
anu those who will be posteu by the woouen steps. They ieceive instiuctions on how to
pioceeu most efficiently. Notoi cycles uiive up, ueliveiing S.S. officeis, bemeualleu,
glitteiing with biass, beefy men with highly polisheu boots anu shiny, biutal faces. Some
have biought theii biiefcases, otheis holu thin, flexible whips. This gives them an aii of
militaiy ieauiness anu agility. They walk in anu out of the commissaiyfoi the miseiable
little shack by the ioau seives as theii commissaiy, wheie in the summeitime they uiink
mineial watei, ?+$9%&+%&J$%55%, anu wheie in wintei they can waim up with a glass of hot
wine. They gieet each othei in the state-appioveu way, iaising an aim Roman fashion, then
shake hanus coiuially, exchange waim smiles, uiscuss mail fiom home, theii chiluien, theii
families. Some stioll majestically on the iamp. The silvei squaies on theii collais glittei, the
giavel ciunches unuei theii boots, theii bamboo whips snap impatiently.
6

We lie against the iails in the naiiow stieaks of shaue, bieathe unevenly, occasionally
exchange a few woius in oui vaiious tongues, anu gaze listlessly at the majestic men in
gieen unifoims, at the gieen tiees, anu at the chuich steeple of a uistant village.

"The tianspoit is coming," somebouy says. We spiing to oui feet, all eyes tuin in one
uiiection. Aiounu the benu, one aftei anothei, the cattle cais begin iolling in. The tiain
backs into the station, a conuuctoi leans out, waves his hanu, blows a whistle. The
locomotive whistles back with a shiieking noise, puffs, the tiain iolls slowly alongsiue the
iamp. In the tiny baiieu winuows appeai pale, wilteu, exhausteu human faces, teiioi-
stiicken women with tangleu haii, unshaven men. They gaze at the station in silence. Anu
then, suuuenly, theie is a stii insiue the cais anu a pounuing against the woouen boaius.

"Watei! Aii!"weaiy, uespeiate ciies.

Beaus push thiough the winuows, mouths gasp fiantically foi aii. They uiaw a few bieaths,
then uisappeai; otheis come in theii place, then also uisappeai. The ciies anu moans giow
louuei.

A man in a gieen unifoim coveieu with moie glittei than any of the otheis jeiks his heau
impatiently, his lips twist in annoyance. Be inhales ueeply, then with a iapiu gestuie
thiows his cigaiette away anu signals to the guaiu. The guaiu iemoves the automatic fiom
his shouluei, aims, senus a seiies of shots along the tiain. All is quiet now. Neanwhile, the
tiucks have aiiiveu, steps aie being uiawn up, anu the Canaua men stanu ieauy at theii
posts by the tiain uoois. The S.S. officei with the biiefcase iaises his hanu.

"Whoevei takes golu, oi anything at all besiues foou, will be shot foi stealing Reich
piopeity. 0nueistanu. K%"3+#&9%&."

"L#8)C5!" we answei eageily.

"053) 5)3! Begin!"

The bolts ciack, the uoois fall open. A wave of fiesh aii iushes insiue the tiain. People . . .
inhumanly ciammeu, buiieu unuei incieuible heaps of luggage, suitcases, tiunks, packages,
ciates, bunules of eveiy uesciiption (eveiything that hau been theii past anu was to stait
theii futuie). Nonstiously squeezeu togethei, they have fainteu fiom heat, suffocateu,
ciusheu one anothei. Now they push towaius the openeu uoois, bieathing like fish cast out
on the sanu.

"Attention! 0ut, anu take youi luggage with you! Take out eveiything. Pile all youi stuff
neai the exits. Yes, youi coats too. It is summei. Naich to the left. 0nueistanu."

"Sii, what's going to happen to us." They jump fiom the tiain on to the giavel, anxious,
woin-out.

7
"Wheie aie you people fiom."

"Sosnowiec-Beuzin. Sii, what's going to happen to us." They iepeat the question
stubboinly, gazing into oui tiieu eyes.

"I uon't know, I uon't unueistanu Polish."

It is the camp law: people going to theii ueath must be ueceiveu to the veiy enu. This is the
only peimissible foim of chaiity. The heat is tiemenuous. The sun hangs uiiectly ovei oui
heaus, the white, hot sky quiveis, the aii vibiates, an occasional bieeze feels like a sizzling
blast fiom a fuinace. 0ui lips aie paicheu, the mouth fills with the salty taste of bloou, the
bouy is weak anu heavy fiom lying in the sun. Watei!

A huge, multicolouieu wave of People loaueu uown with luggage pouis fiom the tiain like a
blinu, mau iivei tiying to finu a new beu. But befoie they have a chance to iecovei, befoie
they can uiaw a bieath of fiesh aii anu look at the sky, bunules aie snatcheu fiom theii
hanus, coats iippeu off theii backs, theii puises anu umbiellas taken away.

"But please, sii, it's foi the sun, I cannot . . . "

"K%"=)+%&!" one of us baiks thiough clencheu teeth. Theie is an S.S. man stanuing behinu
youi back, calm, efficient, watchful.

"Neine >%""3BC#A+%&, this way, lauies anu gentlemen, tiy not to thiow youi things aiounu,
please. Show some goouwill," he says couiteously, his iestless hanus playing with the
slenuei whip.

"0f couise, of couise," they answei as they pass, anu now they walk alongsiue the tiain
somewhat moie cheeifully. A woman ieaches uown quickly to pick up hei hanubag. The
whip flies, the woman scieams, stumbles, anu falls unuei the feet of the suiging ciowu.
Behinu hei, a chilu ciies in a thin little voice "Namele!"a veiy small giil with tangleu
black cuils.

The heaps giow. Suitcases, bunules, blankets, coats, hanubags that open as they fall, spilling
coins, golu, watches; mountains of bieau pile up at the exits, heaps of maimalaue, jams,
masses of meat, sausages; sugai spills on the giavel. Tiucks, loaueu with people, stait up
with a ueafening ioai anu uiive off amiust the wailing anu scieaming of the women
sepaiateu fiom theii chiluien, anu the stupefieu silence of the men left behinu. They aie the
ones who hau been, oiueieu to step to the iightthe healthy anu the young who will go to
the camp. In the enu, they too will not escape ueath, but fiist they must woik.

Tiucks leave anu ietuin, without inteiiuption, as on a monstious conveyoi belt. A Reu
Cioss van uiives back anu foith, back anu foith, incessantly: it tianspoits the gas that will
kill these people. The enoimous cioss on the hoou, ieu as bloou, seems to uissolve in the
sun.

8
The Canaua men at the tiucks cannot stop foi a single moment, even to catch theii bieath.
They shove the people up the steps, pack them in tightly, sixty pei tiuck, moie oi less. Neai
by stanus a young, cleanshaven "gentleman," an S.S. officei with a notebook in his hanu. Foi
each uepaiting tiuck he enteis a maik; sixteen gone means one thousanu people, moie oi
less. The gentleman is calm, piecise. No tiuck can leave without a signal fiom him, oi a
maik in his notebook: M"9&$&. @$33 3%,&F The maiks swell into thousanus, the thousanus
into whole tianspoits, which afteiwaius we shall simply call "fiom Salonica," "fiom
Stiasbouig," "fiom Rotteiuam." This one will be calleu "Sosnowiec-Beuzin." The new
piisoneis fiom Sosnowiec-Beuzin will ieceive seiial numbeis 1S1-2thousanu, of couise,
though afteiwaius we shall simply say 1S1-2, foi shoit.

The tianspoits swell into weeks, months, yeais. When the wai is ovei, they will count up
the maiks in theii notebooksall foui anu a half million of them. The bloouiest battle of
the wai, the gieatest victoiy of the stiong, uniteu ueimany. N,& 2%,BC/ %,& K)57/ %,& !<C"%"
anu foui ciematoiia.

The tiain has been emptieu. A thin, pock-maikeu S.S. man peeis insiue, shakes his heau in
uisgust anu motions to oui gioup, pointing his fingei at the uooi.

"2%,&. Clean it up!"

We climb insiue. In the coineis amiu human exciement anu abanuoneu wiist-watches lie
squasheu, tiampleu infants, nakeu little monsteis with enoimous heaus anu bloateu bellies.
We caiiy them out like chickens, holuing seveial in each hanu.

"Bon't take them to the tiucks, pass them on to the women," says the S.S. man, lighting a
cigaiette. Bis cigaiette lightei is not woiking piopeily; he examines it caiefully.

"Take them, foi uou's sake!" I exploue as the women iun fiom me in hoiioi, coveiing theii
eyes.

The name of uou sounus stiangely pointless, since the women anu the infants will go on the
tiucks, eveiy one of them, without exception. We all know what this means, anu we look at
each othei with hate anu hoiioi.

"What, you uon't want to take them." asks the pock-maikeu S.S. man with a note of
suipiise anu iepioach in his voice, anu ieaches foi his ievolvei.

"You mustn't shoot, I'll caiiy them." A tall, giey-haiieu woman takes the little coipses out of
my hanus anu foi an instant gazes stiaight into my eyes.

"Ny pooi boy," she whispeis anu smiles at me. Then she walks away, staggeiing along the
path. I lean against the siue of the tiain. I am teiiibly tiieu. Someone pulls at my sleeve.

"N& #:#&+, to the iails, come on!"

9
I look up, but the face swims befoie my eyes, uissolves, huge anu tianspaient, melts into
the motionless tiees anu the sea of people . . . I blink iapiuly: Benii.

"Listen, Benii, aie we goou people."

"That's stupiu. Why uo you ask."

"You see, my fiienu, you see, I uon't know why, but I am fuiious, simply fuiious with these
peoplefuiious because I must be heie because of them. I feel no pity. I am not soiiy
they'ie going to the gas chambei. Bamn them all! I coulu thiow myself at them, beat them
with my fists. It must be pathological, I just can't unueistanu . . . "

"Ah, on the contiaiy, it is natuial, pieuictable, calculateu. The iamp exhausts you, you
iebelanu the easiest way to ielieve youi hate is to tuin against someone weakei. Why, I'u
even call it healthy. It's simple logic, B)@H",3." Be piops himself up comfoitably against the
heap of iails. "Look at the uieeks, they know how to make the best of it! They stuff theii
bellies with anything they finu. 0ne of them has just uevouieu a full jai of maimalaue."

"Pigs! Tomoiiow half of them will uie of the shits."

"Pigs. You've been hungiy."

"Pigs!" I iepeat fuiiously. I close my eyes. The aii is filleu with ghastly ciies, the eaith
tiembles beneath me, I can feel sticky moistuie on my eyelius. Ny thioat is completely uiy.

The moibiu piocession stieams on anu ontiucks giowl like mau uogs. I shut my eyes
tight, but I can still see coipses uiaggeu fiom the tiain, tiampleu infants, ciipples pileu on
top of the ueau, wave aftei wave . . . fieight cais ioll in, the heaps of clothing, suitcases anu
bunules giow, people climb out, look at the sun, take a few bieaths, beg foi watei, get into
the tiucks, uiive away. Anu again fieight cais ioll in, again people . . . The scenes become
confuseu in my minuI am not suie if all of this is actually happening, oi if I am uieaming.
Theie is a humming insiue my heau; I feel that I must vomit.

Benii tugs at my aim.

"Bon't sleep, we'ie off to loau up the loot."

All the people aie gone. In the uistance, the last few tiucks ioll along the ioau in clouus of
uust, the tiain has left, seveial S.S. officeis piomenaue up anu uown the iamp. The silvei
glitteis on theii collais. Theii boots shine, theii ieu, beefy faces shine. Among them theie is
a womanonly now I iealize she has been heie all alongwitheieu, flat-chesteu, bony, hei
thin, colouiless haii pulleu back anu tieu in a "Noiuic" knot; hei hanus aie in the pockets of
hei wiue skiit. With a iat-like, iesolute smile glueu on hei thin lips she sniffs aiounu the
coineis of the iamp. She uetests feminine beauty with the hatieu of a woman who is heiself
iepulsive, anu knows it. Yes, I have seen hei many times befoie anu I know hei well: she is
the commanuant of the F.K.L. She has come to look ovei the new ciop of women, foi some
1u
of them, insteau of going on the tiucks, will go on footto the concentiation camp. Theie
oui boys, the baibeis fiom Zauna, will shave theii heaus anu will have a goou laugh at theii
"outsiue woilu" mouesty.

We pioceeu to loau the loot. We lift huge tiunks, heave them on to the tiucks. Theie they
aie aiiangeu in stacks, packeu tightly. 0ccasionally somebouy slashes one open with a
knife, foi pleasuie oi in seaich of vouka anu peifume. 0ne of the ciates falls open; suits,
shiits, books uiop out on the giounu . . . I pick up a small, heavy package. I unwiap itgolu,
about two hanufuls, biacelets, iings, biooches, uiamonus . . .

"D,= C,%"," an S.S. man says calmly, holuing up his biiefcase alieauy full of golu anu colouiful
foieign cuiiency. Be locks the case, hanus it to an officei, takes anothei, an empty one, anu
stanus by the next tiuck, waiting. The golu will go to the Reich.

It is hot, teiiibly hot. 0ui thioats aie uiy, each woiu huits. Anything foi a sip of watei!
Fastei, fastei, so that it is ovei, so that we may iest. At last we aie uone, all the tiucks have
gone. Now we swiftly clean up the iemaining uiit: theie must be "no tiace left of the
?BC8%,&%"%,." But just as the last tiuck uisappeais behinu the tiees anu we walk, finally, to
iest in the shaue, a shiill whistle sounus aiounu the benu. Slowly, teiiibly slowly, a tiain
iolls in, the engine whistles back with a ueafening shiiek. Again weaiy, pale faces at the
winuows, flat as though cut out of papei, with huge, feveiishly buining eyes. Alieauy tiucks
aie pulling up, alieauy the composeu gentleman with the notebook is at his post, anu the
S.S. men emeige fiom the commissaiy caiiying biiefcases foi the golu anu money. We
unseal the tiain uoois.

It is impossible to contiol oneself any longei. Biutally we teai suitcases fiom theii hanus,
impatiently pull off theii coats. uo on, go on, vanish! They go, they vanish. Nen, women,
chiluien. Some of them know.

Beie is a womanshe walks quickly, but tiies to appeai calm. A small chilu with a pink
cheiub's face iuns aftei hei anu, unable to keep up, stietches out his little aims anu ciies:
"Nama! Nama!"

"Pick up youi chilu, woman!"

"It's not mine, sii, not mine!" she shouts hysteiically anu iuns on, coveiing hei face with
hei hanus. She wants to hiue, she wants to ieach those who will not iiue the tiucks, those
who will go on foot, those who will stay alive. She is young, healthy, goou-looking, she
wants to live.

But the chilu iuns aftei hei, wailing louuly: "Nama, mama, uon't leave me!"

"It's not mine, not mine, no!"

11
Anuiei, a sailoi fiom Sevastopol, giabs holu of hei. Bis eyes aie glassy fiom vouka anu the
heat. With one poweiful blow he knocks hei off hei feet, then, as she falls, takes hei by the
haii anu pulls hei up again. Bis face twitches with iage.

"Ah, you bloouy }ewess. So you'ie iunning fiom youi own chilu! I'll show you, you whoie!"
Bis huge hanu chokes hei, he lifts hei in the aii anu heaves hei on to the tiuck like a heavy
sack of giain.

"Beie! Anu take this with you, bitch!" anu he thiows the chilu at hei feet.

"D$+ .%@#BC+/ goou woik. That's the way to ueal with uegeneiate motheis," says the S.S.
man stanuing at the foot of the tiuck. "D$+/ .$+, Russki."

"Shut youi mouth," giowls Anuiei thiough clencheu teeth, anu walks away. Fiom unuei a
pile of iags he pulls out a canteen, unsciews the coik, takes a few ueep swallows, passes it
to me. The stiong vouka buins the thioat. Ny heau swims, my legs aie shaky, again I feel
like thiowing up.

Anu suuuenly, above the teeming ciowu pushing foiwaiu like a iivei uiiven by an unseen
powei, a giil appeais. She uescenus lightly fiom the tiain, hops on to the giavel, looks
aiounu inquiiingly, as if somewhat suipiiseu. Bei soft, blonue haii has fallen on hei
shoulueis in a toiient, she thiows it back impatiently. With a natuial gestuie she iuns hei
hanus uown hei blouse, casually stiaightens hei skiit. She stanus like this foi an instant,
gazing at the ciowu, then tuins anu with a gliuing look examines oui faces, as though
seaiching foi someone. 0nknowingly, I continue to staie at hei, until oui eyes meet.

"Listen, tell me, wheie aie they taking us."

I look at hei without saying a woiu. Beie, stanuing befoie me, is a giil, a giil with
enchanting blonue haii, with beautiful bieasts, weaiing a little cotton blouse, a giil with a
wise, matuie look in hei eyes. Beie she stanus, gazing stiaight into my face, waiting. Anu
ovei theie is the gas chambei: communal ueath, uisgusting anu ugly. Anu ovei in the othei
uiiection is the concentiation camp: the shaveu heau, the heavy Soviet tiouseis in
swelteiing heat, the sickening, stale ououi of uiity, uamp female bouies, the animal hungei,
the inhuman laboui, anu latei the same gas chambei, only an even moie hiueous, moie
teiiible ueath . . .

Why uiu she biing it. I think to myself, noticing a lovely golu watch on hei uelicate wiist.
They'll take it away fiom hei anyway.

"Listen, tell me," she iepeats.

I iemain silent. Bei lips tighten.

"I know," she says with a shaue of piouu contempt in hei voice, tossing hei heau. She walks
off iesolutely in the uiiection of the tiucks. Someone tiies to stop hei; she boluly pushes
12
him asiue anu iuns up the steps. In the uistance I can only catch a glimpse of hei blonue
haii flying in the bieeze.

I go back insiue the tiain; I caiiy out ueau infants; I unloau luggage. I touch coipses, but I
cannot oveicome the mounting, uncontiollable teiioi. I tiy to escape fiom the coipses, but
they aie eveiywheie: lineu up on the giavel, on the cement euge of the iamp, insiue the
cattle cais. Babies, hiueous nakeu women, men twisteu by convulsions. I iun off as fai as I
can go, but immeuiately a whip slashes acioss my back. 0ut of the coinei of my eye I see an
S.S. man, sweaiing piofusely. I staggei foiwaiu anu iun, lose myself in the Canaua gioup.
Now, at last, I can once moie iest against the stack of iails. The sun has leaneu low ovei the
hoiizon anu illuminates the iamp with a ieuuish glow; the shauows of the tiees have
become elongateu, ghostlike. In the silence that settles ovei natuie at this time of uay, the
human ciies seem to iise all the way to the sky.

0nly fiom this uistance uoes one have a full view of the infeino on the teeming iamp. I see a
paii of human beings who have fallen to the giounu lockeu in a last uespeiate embiace. The
man has uug his fingeis into the woman's flesh anu has caught hei clothing with his teeth.
She scieams hysteiically, sweais, ciies, until at last a laige boot comes uown ovei hei
thioat anu she is silent. They aie pulleu apait anu uiaggeu like cattle to the tiuck. I see foui
Canaua men lugging a coipse: a huge, swollen female coipse. Cuising, uiipping wet fiom
the stiain, they kick out of theii way some stiay chiluien who have been iunning all ovei
the iamp, howling like uogs. The men pick them up by the collais, heaus, aims, anu toss
them insiue the tiucks, on top of the heaps. The foui men have tiouble lifting the fat coipse
on to the cai, they call otheis foi help, anu all togethei they hoist up the mounu of meat.
Big, swollen, puffeu-up coipses aie being collecteu fiom all ovei the iamp; on top of them
aie pileu the invalius, the smotheieu, the sick, the unconscious. The heap seethes, howls,
gioans. The uiivei staits the motoi, the tiuck begins iolling.

"Balt! Balt!" an S.S. man yells aftei them. "Stop, uamn you!"

They aie uiagging to the tiuck an olu man weaiing tails anu a banu aiounu his aim. Bis
heau knocks against the giavel anu pavement; he moans anu wails in an uninteiiupteu
monotone: "OBC 8,55 @,+ 9%@ >%""& ()@@#&9#&+%& 3H"%BC%&I wish to speak with the
commanuant . . . " With senile stubboinness he keeps iepeating these woius all the way.
Thiown on the tiuck, tiampleu by otheis, chokeu, he still wails: "OBC 8,55 @,+ 9%@ . . . "

"Look heie, olu man!" a young S.S. man calls, laughing jovially. "In half an houi you'll be
talking with the top commanuant! 0nly uon't foiget to gieet him with a Beil Bitlei!"

Seveial othei men aie caiiying a small giil with only one leg. They holu hei by the aims
anu the one leg. Teais aie iunning uown hei face anu she whispeis faintly: "Sii, it huits, it
huits . . . " They thiow hei on the tiuck on top of the coipses. She will buin alive along with
them.

The evening has come, cool anu cleai. The stais aie out. We lie against the iails. It is
incieuibly quiet. Anaemic bulbs hang fiom the top of the high lamp-posts; beyonu the ciicle
1S
of light stietches an impenetiable uaikness. }ust one step, anu a man coulu vanish foi evei.
But the guaius aie watching, theii automatics ieauy.

"Biu you get the shoes." asks Benii.

"No."

"Why."

"Ny uou, man, I am finisheu, absolutely finisheu!"

"So soon. Aftei only two tianspoits. }ust look at me, I . . . since Chiistmas, at least a million
people have passeu thiough my hanus. The woist of all aie the tianspoits fiom aiounu
Paiisone is always bumping into fiienus."

"Anu what uo you say to them."

"That fiist they will have a bath, anu latei we'll meet at the camp. What woulu you say."

I uo not answei. We uiink coffee with vouka; somebouy opens a tin of cocoa anu mixes it
with sugai. We scoop it up by the hanuful, the cocoa sticks to the lips. Again coffee, again
vouka.

"Benii, what aie we waiting foi."

"Theie'll be anothei tianspoit."

''I'm not going to unloau it! I can't take any moie."

"So, it's got you uown. Canaua is nice, eh." Benii giins inuulgently anu uisappeais into the
uaikness. In a moment he is back again.

"All iight. }ust sit heie quietly anu uon't let an S.S. man see you. I'll tiy to finu you youi
shoes."

"}ust leave me alone. Nevei minu the shoes." I want to sleep. It is veiy late.

Anothei whistle, anothei tianspoit. Fieight cais emeige out of the uaikness, pass unuei the
lamp-posts, anu again vanish in the night. The iamp is small, but the ciicle of lights is
smallei. The unloauing will have to be uone giauually. Somewheie the tiucks aie giowling.
They back up against the steps, black, ghostlike, theii seaichlights flash acioss the tiees.
6#33%"1 -$A+1 The same all ovei again, like a late showing of the same film: a volley of shots,
the tiain falls silent. 0nly this time a little giil pushes heiself halfway thiough the small
winuow anu, losing hei balance, falls out onto the giavel. Stunneu, she lies still foi a
moment, then stanus up anu begins walking aiounu in a ciicle, fastei anu fastei, waving hei
iigiu aims in the aii, bieathing louuly anu spasmouically, whining in a faint voice. Bei minu
14
has given way in the infeino insiue the tiain. The whining is haiu on the neives: an S.S. man
appioaches calmly, his heavy boot stiikes between hei shoulueis. She falls. Boluing hei
uown with his foot, he uiaws his ievolvei, fiies once, then again. She iemains face uown,
kicking the giavel with hei feet, until she stiffens. They pioceeu to unseal the tiain.

I am back on the iamp, stanuing by the uoois. A waim, sickening smell gushes fiom insiue.
The mountain of people filling the cai almost halfway up to the ceiling is motionless,
hoiiibly tangleu, but still steaming.

"0$35#9%&!" comes the commanu. An S.S. man steps out fiom the uaikness. Acioss his chest
hangs a poitable seaichlight. Be thiows a stieam of light insiue.

"Why aie you stanuing about like sheep. Stait unloauing!"

Bis whip flies anu falls acioss oui backs. I seize a coipse by the hanu; the fingeis close
tightly aiounu mine. I pull back with a shiiek anu staggei away. Ny heait pounus, jumps up
to my thioat. I can no longei contiol the nausea. Buncheu unuei the tiain I begin to vomit.
Then, like a uiunk, I weave ovei to the stack of iails.

I lie against the cool, kinu metal anu uieam about ietuining to the camp, about my bunk, on
which theie is no mattiess, about sleep among comiaues who aie not going to the gas
tonight. Suuuenly I see the camp as a haven of peace. It is tiue, otheis may be uying, but one
is somehow still alive, one has enough foou, enough stiength to woik . . .

The lights on the iamp flickei with a spectial glow, the wave of peoplefeveiish, agitateu,
stupefieu peopleflows on anu on, enulessly. They think that now they will have to face a
new life in the camp, anu they piepaie themselves emotionally foi the haiu stiuggle aheau.
They uo not know that in just a few moments they will uie, that the golu, money, anu
uiamonus which they have so piuuently hiuuen in theii clothing anu on theii bouies aie
now useless to them. Expeiienceu piofessionals will piobe into eveiy iecess of theii flesh,
will pull the golu fiom unuei the tongue anu the uiamonus fiom the uteius anu the colon.
They will iip out golu teeth. In tightly sealeu ciates they will ship them to Beilin.

The S.S. men's black figuies move about, uignifieu, businesslike. The gentleman with the
notebook puts uown his final maiks, iounus out the figuies: fifteen thousanu.

Nany, veiy many, tiucks have been uiiven to the ciematoiia touay.

It is almost ovei. The ueau aie being cleaieu off the iamp anu pileu into the last tiuck. The
Canaua men, weigheu uown unuei a loau of bieau, maimalaue anu sugai, anu smelling of
peifume anu fiesh linen, line up to go. Foi seveial uays the entiie camp will live off this
tianspoit. Foi seveial uays the entiie camp will talk about "Sosnowiec-Beuzin."
"Sosnowiec-Beuzin" was a goou, iich tianspoit.

The stais aie alieauy beginning to pale as we walk back to the camp. The sky giows
tianslucent anu opens high above oui heausit is getting light.
1S

uieat columns of smoke iise fiom the ciematoiia anu meige up above into a huge black
iivei which veiy slowly floats acioss the sky ovei Biikenau anu uisappeais beyonu the
foiests in the uiiection of Tizebinia. The "Sosnowiec-Beuzin" tianspoit is alieauy buining.

We pass a heavily aimeu S.S. uetachment on its way to change guaiu. The men maich
biiskly, in step, shouluei to shouluei, one mass, one will.

"P&9 @)".%& 9,% .#&*% 6%5+ . . . " they sing at the top of theii lungs.

"2%BC+3 "#&! To the iight maich!" snaps a commanu fiom up fiont. We move out of theii
way.


***********

"This Way foi the uas, Lauies anu uentlemen," fiom GC,3 6#Q A)" +C% D#3/ -#9,%3 #&9
D%&+5%@%& by Taueusz Boiowski, tianslateu by Baibaia veuuei. Tianslation copyiight 1967
by Penguin Books, Ltu. 0iiginal text copyiight by Naiia Boiowski.