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SPEECH TITLE; WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO BE A GOOD PARENT?

Good evening and thank you for coming in such great numbers,
You have children, I have children. We all want our sons and daughters to look forward to a
great future. And that they will do well. We, as parents, work towards this goal, from the
moment they go to primary school and then to secondary school. Then they pursue their
studies at university level and so on and some are not otherwise pursue further work. No
matter what the situation we as parents need to be relevant to the growth and development of
our children.

Mothers and fathers are respected gentlemen,
On this day , I will deliver a speech entitled What Does It Take To Be A Good Parent?.
The statement happy family cord prosperity clearly shows that the family does play an
important role in shaping the personality of noble children. Teens are often involved in social
problems have sparked polemical issues among mass media on a daily basis has moved from
lip to lip. Who is to blame in this case? Of course, certain things happen of course there are
reasons motivating. Noble character building children starting from the family. A family
formed with the role of their parents.

Attendees honored,
Being a parent can be one of the most rewarding and fulfilling experiences of your life, but
that doesn't mean it's easy. No matter what age your child or children are, your work is never
done. To be a good parent, you need to know how to make your children feel valued and
loved, while teaching them the difference between right and wrong. At the end of the day, the
most important thing is to create a nurturing environment where your children feel like they
can thrive and develop into confident, independent, and caring adults. How to be a good
parent? I will deliver a 12-step how to be a good parent.

Dear parents dear,
Step 1
Educate Children With Religious Knowledge Since Childhood
Islam through Quran and Sunnah is the religion that is universal and comprehensive. It not
only covers the faith, shariah and morals but also includes education family and kids. Parents
have a high position in the eyes of society and religion. Functions parents in shaping
children's irreplaceable. Through their children to know the love, the values of life and the
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meaning of love. Islam demands that parents be given high positions in the family and
society. User grateful placed in the first place after the worship of God for human sacrifices
unwavering priority so the parents first aid on the other. Parent is one element does not exist
without what is called society or the community of mankind. It continues to provide a new
generation of community. They play a very important role in the formation of human society
and civilization future.

According to Muslim parents is a big role. They are responsible for the future of children.
Their role as the main builder and first children hard to find parts. They were responsible for
introducing the children the love, the meaning of life and the need to sacrifice in the discharge
of their responsibilities. In a tradition called Every child is born on the fitrah, then his parents
are making Jews, or Christians or Zoroastrians here means Islam Fitrah therefore every child
is born as a Muslim then the parents are responsible for providing the perfect religion to
children remains above its Islamic nature and to ensure that children are not affected by the
environment that will destroy and affect the nature of its occurrence.

Step 2
Loving Your Child
Give your child love and affection. Sometimes the best thing you can give your child is love
and affection. A warm touch or a caring hug can let your child know how much you really
care about him or her. Don't ever overlook how important a physical connection is when it
comes to your child. Here are some ways to show love and affection:
o A gentle cuddle, a little encouragement, appreciation, approval or even a smile
can go a long way to boost the confidence and well-being of your children.
o Tell them you love them every day, no matter how angry at them you may be.
o Give lots of hugs and some kisses. Make your children comfortable with love
and affection from birth.
o Love them unconditionally; don't force them to be who you think they should
be in order to earn your love. Let them know that you will always love them no
matter what.
Step 3
Praise Your Children
Praising your children is an important part of being a good parent. You want your kids to feel
proud of their accomplishments and good about themselves. If you don't give them the
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confidence they need to be out in the world on their own, then they won't feel empowered to
be independent or adventurous. When they do something good, let them know that you've
noticed and that you're very proud of them.
Make a habit of praising your children at least three times as much as you give them
negative feedback. Though it's important to tell your children when they're doing
something wrong, it's also important to help them build a positive sense of self.
If they are too young to fully understand, praise them with treats, applause, and lots of
love. Encouraging them for doing everything from using the potty to getting good
grades can help them lead a happy and successful life.

Attendees honored,
Step 4
Avoid Comparing Your Children To Others, Especially Siblings
Each child is individual and unique. Celebrate their differences and instill in each child the
desire to pursue their interests and dreams. Failure to do so may give your child an inferiority
complex, an idea that they can never be good enough in your eyes. If you want to help them
improve their behavior, talk about meeting their goals on their own terms, instead of telling
them to act like their sister or neighbor. This will help them develop a sense of self instead of
having an inferiority complex.
Comparing one child to another can also make one child develop a rivalry with his or
her sibling. You want to nurture a loving relationship between your children, not a
competitive one.
Avoid favoritism. Surveys have shown that most parents have favorites, but most
children believe that they are the favorite. If your children are quarreling, don't choose
sides, but be fair and neutral.

Step 5
Listen To Your Children
It's important that your communication with your children goes both ways. You shouldn't just
be there to enforce rules, but to listen to your children when they are having a problem. You
have to be able to express interest in your children and involve yourself in their life. You
should create an atmosphere in which your children can come to you with a problem, however
large or small.
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You can even set aside a time to talk to your children every day. This can be before
bedtime, at breakfast, or during a walk after school. Treat this time as sacred and avoid
checking your phone or getting distracted.
If your child says he has to tell you something, make sure you take this seriously and
drop everything you're doing, or set up a time to talk when you can really listen.

Step 6
Make time for your children
Be careful not to stifle or smother them, however. There's a big difference between protecting
someone and imprisoning them within your too unyielding demands. You want them to feel
like your time together is sacred and special without making them feel like they are forced to
spend time with you.
Spend time with each child individually. Try to divide your time equally if you have
more than one child.
Listen and respect your child and respect what they want to do with their life.
Set aside a day to go to a park, theme parks, museum or library depending on their
interests.
Attend school functions. Do homework with them. Visit their teacher at open house to
get a sense of how they are doing in school.

Dear parents dear,
Step 7
Be there for the milestones
You may have a hectic work schedule, but you should do everything you can to be there for
the important moments in your children's lives, from their ballet recitals to their high school
graduation. Remember that children grow fast and that they'll be on their own before you
know it. Your boss may or may not remember that you missed that meeting, but your child
will most certainly remember that you didn't attend the play they were in. Though you don't
have to drop everything for your children, you should at least try to be there for the
milestones.
If you were too busy to be there for your child's first day of school or another
important milestone, you are liable to regret it for the rest of your life. And you don't
want your child to think of his high school graduation as the time when his mom or
dad couldn't show up.
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Step 8
Being a Good Disciplinarian
Enforce reasonable rules. Enforce rules that apply to every person leading a happy and
productive life not model rules of your ideal person. It's important to set rules and
guidelines that help your child develop and grow without being so strict that your child feels
like he can't take a step without doing something wrong. Ideally, your child should love you
more than he fears your rules.
Communicate your rules clearly. Children should be very familiar with the
consequences of their actions. If you give them a punishment, be sure they understand
the reason and the fault; if you cannot articulate the reason and how they are at fault
the punishment will not have the discouraging effects you desire.
Make sure that you not only set reasonable rules, but that you enforce them
reasonably. Avoid overly harsh forms of punishment, ridiculously stringent
punishments for minor infractions, or anything that involves physically hurting your
child.

Step 9
Provide Order For Your Children
Your kids should feel like there's a sense of order and a logic to things in their household and
in their family life. This can help them feel safe and at peace and to live a happy life both in
and outside of their home. Here are some ways that you can provide order for your children:
Set boundaries such as bedtimes and curfews, so they learn that they have limitations.
By doing so, they actually get a sense of being loved and cared about by their parents.
They might rebel at those boundaries, but inwardly enjoy knowing that concerned
parents guide and love them.
Encourage responsibility by giving them jobs or "chores" to do and as a reward for
those jobs give them some kind of privilege (money, extended curfew, extra play time,
etc.). As "punishment" for not doing these jobs, they have the corresponding privilege
revoked. Even the youngest of children can learn this concept of reward or
consequence. As your child grows, give them more responsibilities and more rewards
or consequences for completing those responsibilities or ignoring them.
Teach them what is right and wrong. If you are religious, take them to the religious
institute that you follow. If you are an atheist or an agnostic, teach them your moral
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stance on things. In either case, don't be hypocritical or be prepared for your child to
point out that you are not "practicing what you preach".

Dear parents dear,
Step 10
Be A United Front With Your Spouse
If you have a spouse, then it's important that your children think of you as a united front as
two people who will both say "yes" or "no" to the same things. If your kids think that their
mother will always say yes and their father will say no, then they'll think that one parent is
"better" or more easily manipulatable than the other. They should see you and your spouse as
a unit so there's order in your high school, and so you don't find yourself in a difficult
situation because you and your spouse don't agree on certain things when it comes to raising
the kids.
This doesn't mean that you and your house have to agree 100% about everything
having to do with the kids. But it does mean that you should work together to solve
problems that involve the children, instead of being pitted against each other.
You shouldn't argue with your spouse in front of the children. If they are sleeping,
argue quietly. Children may feel insecure and fearful when they hear parents
bickering. In addition, children will learn to argue with each other the same way they
hear their parents argue with each other. Show them that when people disagree, they
can discuss their differences peacefully.

Step 11
Helping Your Child Build Character
Teach your children to be independent. Teach your children that it is okay for them to be
different, and they do not have to follow the crowd. Teach them right from wrong when they
are young, and they will (more often than not) be able to make their own decisions, instead of
listening to or following others. Remember that your child is not an extension of yourself.
Your child is an individual under your care, not a chance for you to relive your life through
them.
When your children get old enough to make decisions for themselves, you should
encourage them to choose which extra-curricular activities they want to do or what
friends they want to play with. Unless you think an activity is very dangerous, or a
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playmate is a very bad influence, you should let your children figure things out for
themselves.
A child may have an opposite disposition, ie: introverted when you are extroverted, for
instance, and will not be able to fit into the pattern and style that you choose, and will
make his or her own decisions instead.
They need to learn that their own actions have consequences (good and bad). By doing
so, it helps them to become good decision makers and problem solvers so that they are
prepared for independence and adulthood.
Don't routinely do things for your children that they can learn to do for themselves.
While getting them a glass of water before bed is a nice way to make them get to sleep
faster, don't do it so often that they come to expect it.

Step 12
Know That A Parent's Work I s Never Done
Though you may think you have already molded and raised your child into the person he or
she will become by the time your child dons his or her graduation cap, this is far from true.
Your parenting will have a life-long effect on your child and you should always give your
child the love and affection he needs, even if you're hundreds of miles away. While you won't
always be a constant daily presence in your child's life, you should always let your children
know that you care about them and that you'll be there for them, no matter what.
Your children will still turn to you for advice, and will still be affected by what you
say no matter what age they are. As the years go on, you can not only improve your
parenting techniques, but you can start to think about how to be a good grandparent!

CONCLUSION
Children's education is a jihad and requires sacrifice from parents. Parents should first reflect
the culture of healthy and good example to be followed by the children. Kids are the mirror of
their parents. We do not want parents to teach her to walk like a crab right. Educating children
to punish the one thing that should not be underestimated when it appears they are not
following the directions. Penalty taken by parents of their children is different and not the
same as the law applicable to the community. Parents need to take wise approaches in which
punish children by giving advice with a gentle and more kind. Therefore, to make our children
good children, parents need to improve themselves first. Good parent will be getting good. In
Shaa Allah.
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REFERENCES

Abdul Monir Yaacob (2007). Membentuk Keluarga Menerusi Nilai-Nilai Kekeluargaan
Islam. Dlm. Azrina Sobian. Keluarga Islam, Kemahiran Keibubapaan dan Cabaran Semasa.
Selangor: MPH Group Publishing Sdn Bhd.

Compassionate Child-Rearing: An In-Depth Approach to Optimal Parenting by Robert W.
Firestone (Author), R. D. Laing (Foreword) accessed via the web :

Mat Tanjo Peranan Ibubapa dalam Pendidikan Anak-anak-Materi Diskusi Konvensyen
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http://mattanjo.wordpress.com/mapin/peranan-ibubapa-dalam-pendidikan-anak-anak/

How to Be a Good Parent Edited by Wpendy, Elizabeth Douglas, Krystle C., Hannah
accessed via the web:
http://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Good-Parent

Parenting From the Inside Out by Daniel J. Siegel MD (Author), Mary Hartzell (Author)

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/compassion-matters/201011/how-be-good-parent-it-s-
all-about-you

http://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/advice/8-ways-to-be-a-better-
parent/?page=2

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/what-makes-a-good-parent/