Hitmans10MostSatisfying

Assassinations
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assassinations
TheHitmanserieshasforyearsbeensynonymouswithmemorablevillainsthatspanacrossvarying
internationalcultures,vastlydifferingideologies,andincreasinglyvulgarpersonas.Theserieshas
alwaysbeenknownforitssubtleuseofdarkcomedicundertones,butastimeprogressed,andthe
guysatIOInteractivebecamemorebold,thesubjectmatterthatfueledtheseembodimentsofevil
becameevermoretwistedandgrotesque.Intheearlydaysthetargetsthatpopulatedthegames
werethepersonificationsofthestereotypicalbaddy.Theyweredruglords,gangbosses,andwar
criminals,tonameafew.Thesecharacterswereindeedbad,thatssomethingwecanallagreeon,
butveryfewofthemwereactuallyrepulsiveandtheresnothingmoreenjoyablethanridding
theworldofacreep.Whenitcomestoreminiscingontheverybestassassinationsoftheseries,
weareverymuchlikeamotherwithherchildrenwelovethemall.Thereforewellbefocusing
ontargetsthatareheadandshouldersabovetherestwhenitcomestobeingthatlittlebitmore
loathsome. Lets take a look at the 10 most memorable Hitmanvillains that didnt just embrace
theirroleasabadguywithopenarms;theybroughtitinclose,plantedabigsloppykissonit,and
then copped a feel Right before being eliminated by none other than our bald headed buddy,
Agent47.
10.LorneDeHavilland
Foundin:BloodMoneyAnelderlymultimillionaireplayboywhoownshisownXratedmagazine
and struts around in a red smoking jacket man, this is all starting to sound very satirical. Mr.
Hefnum,Havilland,isamanwhomakesmostofhismoneybycatchingrichandpowerfulpeople
withtheirpantsdownquiteliterally.Usinghiddencamerasinhisnumerousstripclubsheuses
theincriminatingfootagetoblackmailhiswaytothetopagain,quiteliterallyashelivesona
picturesquemountainintheRockies.WefindHavillandinthefestivelythemedmissionYouBetter
WatchOut,aleveljampackedwithbarelydressedwomensituatedinalavishlymodernsnow
coatedmansion.Oh,yeah,andtheresanextremelydrunkSantaClausroamingthegroundsnot
reallyrelevantbutlikewewerentgoingtomentionthat!LornedeHavillandfindshimselfatthe
lowestplaceonthislistduetothefactthat,attheendoftheday,heisntreallythatbadofaguy.
Sure,hemaybearidiculouslyoldplayboy,andhemaybeacriminal,andhemayshamelesslyoffer
you money and women to save his own skin but when compared to the other characters of
Hitmanhedefinitelywontbeyourfirstthoughtwhenreminiscingonthemostvileinhabitantsof
theseries.Memorableassassination:DroppingalightingrigonhisheadasheinspectsanXrated
photoshoot.Ifonlyhewasntsoperverted
9.WinstonBeldingford
Found in:Contracts For all you nonBritish people out there, the inhabitants of Contracts
BeldingfordManormissionarecompletelyrightintheirportrayalofaneverydayEnglishman.No,
seriously,theyallliveinhugeestates,speakwithadisturbingsinisterreceivedpronunciation,have
abutler,andcantescapetheirincreasinglydesperatedesiretohuntman.Thatsrighthuntman!
Winston Beldingford holds the position of orchestrator of this little known English pastime.
Abductingathleticyouthsandreleasingthemintohisgrounds,heandhisjollybandofaristocratic
drinkingbuddieshuntthemdown,andthenputthemdown,withagun,totheface!Heobviously
neverhadthepleasureofseeingRamboyoujustdonthuntman,Winston!Jeez!Thatslikerule
numberone!Addingtohisalreadywarpedideasofhunting,healsolikestoindulgeinvoyeuristic
pleasures.Asecretcompartmentcanbefoundleadingfromhisbedroomtoaonewaymirror
which,ofcourse,looksintothebathroomofayounglady.Winston,youdirtydog!Wait,doesnt
Agent 47 and therefore the player, technically hunt man? Uh oh. Memorable assassination:
Smotheringhimwithafeatherypillowashesleeps.Sweetdreams,Winston.
8.VinnieSluggerSinistra
Found in:Blood Money Appearing in one of the most loved missions of the series, Vinnie is
definitelyonetargetthatlingersvividlyinthememoriesoffanseverywhereandnotjustbecause
ofhislouddresssense.Hetakesresidenceinalargehouseinaquietsuburbia,where,boredout
ofhismindinhisquietnewlife,hespeculateshowhewillliterallydieofit.Oh,howrighthewas.
As a former drug smuggler he climbed to the top of Americas Most Wanted list a task only
accomplishedbythemostferociousofcriminals.Killingpeopleinwitnessprotectiontosavehis
ownskin,henowironicallyfindshimselfinarolereversal.Thiscowardlyshadowofhisformerself
willretreatandhideinacupboardifconfrontedbyAgent47,butspareasecondtopitytheworn
out hasbeen and hell put a bullet through the back of your head. Memorable
assassination:Luringhimovertothewindowwithaphonecallandsnipinghimfromacrossthe
street.
7.SkipMuldoon
Foundin:BloodMoneyAshipcaptainwhohasanoverwhelmingtasteforallthingssweet.Cakes,
pastries and young waiters in tight sailor uniforms all appear on Skips list of things he wants to
haveinsidehim.Disguiseyourselfasawaiter,anda62musclecladsteelyeyedwaiteratthat,
andtheeverenthusiasticMuldoonwillstarttothrowsomeflirtationyourway.Orderingyoutogo
fetch him some cake, hell promise you a taste of his sweet stuff in return for your services.
Shudder.Oh,anddidwementionthathesknownforhavingsexualrelationswithhisnieceand
soontobedaughterinlaw.Yep,addincesttoSkipsrepertoireofshadyshenanigansandyouhave
oneunforgettablesleazeball.Memorableassassination:Poisoninghiscake.Howaboutatasteof
47snotsosweetstuff,eh,Skip?
6.DomOsmond
Found in:Absolution Meet Dom Osmond, the owner of seedy strip joint, the Vixen Club. While
DommaynotbeassuccessfulasouroldfriendHavilland,hecertainlytrumpstheoldgeezerwhen
itcomestosleazinessandbrutalitybothofwhichfarsurpasstheminimumrequirementsforthis
list. While Havillands illegal activity revolving around women was a subtlety, Absolutionholds
nothingbackinlettingyouknowjusthowpsychoticallydominatingOsmondiswhenitcomesto
his strippers. Forcing his women into prostitution with threats of violence he is, however, kind
enoughtoallowthegirlsanalternativewayout.StickinguptoDomwillgetanygirlballsyenough
todosoaniceallexpensespaidtriptoHawaiiHawaiibeing,ofcourse,adecrepitbuildingat
thebackoftheclubwherehestrapsthemdown,violentlyrapesthem,andthenproceedstobeat
themtodeathwithahairbrush.Charming.Memorableassassination:Shootinghiminthefaceas
hecheckshimselfoutinaonewaymirror.Vanityisadeadlysin,itseems.
5.CliveSkurky
Foundin:AbsolutionYouvegottohandittoSkurky,hespitchperfectatwhathedoes.Whathe
does,however,justsohappenstoincludebeingthemostcorruptsheriffimaginable.Seriously,this
guyliterallystinksofcorruption.Well,notliterally,butYeah,weregoingtogowithliterally.
Heliterallystinksofcorruption!Everythingabouthimscreams,donttrustthisman!Fromthe
laidbackswaggerofhiscocksurewalk,tothewayhetreatshisprisonersasanimalsforcingthem
tofighteachotherforhisownpleasure.FollowingsuitinourlistofHitmandegeneratesthereis,
ofcourse,somethingextrathatmakesSkurkyallthemoresleazyhesmassivelyintoS&M.We
meetSkurkyforthefirsttimetiedupinhisveryownsexdungeonbeingbeatenbyalatexwearing
dominatrix.Itsalsoveryheavilyimpliedthathesintomakingtorturepornandsnufffilms,which
pretty much cements his place on this list. If Skurky has taught the public anything with
hisappearance its this: never, ever, trust a man who wears sunglasses indoors. Memorable
assassination:Exposinghiscowardicetohisowncommunityrightbeforeyoushoothimintheface.
4.AlvaroDAlvadeAndRichardDelahunt
Foundin:BloodMoneyAppearinginoneofthemostmemorablemissionsofBloodMoney,this
pairofoperaticenthusiastsarerightlyincorporatedintoasingularslotonourlist.DAlvadeisan
extremelytalentedoperasingerandDelahunthisoverenthusiasticandnumberonefan.However,
itsheavilyimpliedthattherelationshipbetweenthesetwomenextendsoutoftheoperahouse
andintothebedroom.Butno,itsnottheirsexualrelationshipthatsontrialhere,itstheirbusiness
one.DAlvadejustsohappenstobeDelahuntsbiggestcustomerandwhenyoutakeintoaccount
thatDelahuntisatraffickerofchildprostitutesitshardtofeelbadforthemwhenitcomesto
theirinevitabledemise.Memorableassassination:SwappingthecostarsreplicaWW1pistolwith
arealoneandlettinghimshootDAlvadeduringtheirrehearsalthendroppingachandelieronto
Delahunt as he trips up on his way to check on his lovers lifeless body. Its all very Romeo and
Juliet
3.EdwardWade
Foundin:AbsolutionYoudexpectanyfriendofDomOsmondtobejustasmessedup,andyoud
beonehundredpercentcorrect.Wadeisadespicablehumanbeingformany,manyreasons.First
and foremost, Wade is responsible for the slaughter of a number of nuns during the mission
Rosewood.Now,ifthatsingularactofevildoesntearnWadeaplaceonthislist,wedontknow
whatwill.Wadehasamorbidpersonality;hesrepulsiveinhisdemeanour,hesaruthlesskiller,he
mocksweakercharacters,andhesalikelyanecrophiliacyeah,youreadthatcorrectly.Ifyouare
killedbyWadeduringyourfinalencounter,youwillbeshownacutscenewherehewillexcitedly
suggest how he and his men are going to rape your corpse. So, yeah, possibly the best ever
incentive not to mess up. Memorable assassination:Blasting him with hot steam. However, no
matterwhichwayyoukillhimhellutterthephraseIgotwoodman!WhydoIhavewood?right
beforehedies.Oh,Wade
2.CampbellSturrock
Found in:Contracts This guy tops the bill when it comes to the most physically memorable
charactersintheseries.HeisamorbidlyobeseScotsmanwhohasanunquenchableappetitefor
bothmeatandfemales.Thesetwogreatlovesofhiscometogetherperfectlytoformthebackdrop
forthemissionTheMeatKingsParty.Aftergettingoffscotfree(hah!)fortheabductionofayoung
girl (who ends up being tortured, murdered, andmutilated), he decides to throwa BDSM fetish
party in his slaughterhouse to celebrate how very fitting. Memorable assassination:Hiding a
knife in one of his chickens in order to sneak it past the guards.
Hellwanthischickensobadlyhellevensendhisfemalecompanionsaway,leavingyoufreetopull
outtheknifeanddosomeslaughteringofyourown.
1.BlakeDexter
Foundin:AbsolutionFather,businessman,andauthorofthebestseller,YourSh*tDontHaveto
Stink!Dexterisamanofmanytalents.UsinghisimmensepowerwithinthecommunityofHope
he regularly gets away with murder, blackmail, and the dumping oftoxic waste (Thats right, we
careabouttheenvironment!).AnyonewhohasplayedAbsolutionwillbemorethanfamiliarwith
this ruthless depiction of absolute evil. Commanding a surprising amount of screentime Dexter
rockets his way to the top of Agent 47s most persistently present antagonists. They say over
familiaritybreedscontempt,andwiththisguysfacepoppinguptimeandtimeagaininorderto
portrayhisvaryingdegreesofsavagery,itsnosurprisethathestandsproudasournumberone
target we loved to finally kill. It also doesnt hurt that hes acted by the very talented Keith
Carradine, whose sensationally twisted performance allows Dexter to be considered not only as
Hitmansmostmemorableantagonist,butasoneofvideogamingsgreatestevervillains.Heresa
short cutscene that sums up perfectly why Blake Dexter is an adversary you most certainly
wouldntwanttomeetdownadarkalleyway.Memorableassassination:Ahelipadshowdown.
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