Waking Life Script - Dialogue Transcript

Waking Life Script

"Dream is destiny."
Rock out.
Rock and roll.
Go, strings. Begin.
Sara, will you try that, the thing you asked me about?
- Yeah. - ill you try it a little more subdued?
- !kay. - "ibrato. #ust try it and see what you think.
But what $ want--
$ mean, $ want it to sound rich and maybe almost a little wa%y...
due to being slightly out o& tune.
- Do you want it, um-- - $ think it should be slightly detached.
'hat(s what $ was wondering.
Yeah, yeah, you got it.
Sna))y.
!kay, *ick u* to +, *lease.
- -rik, this is a *icku* to +,. - !kay.
., +, /.
0ey, man, it(s me. 1m, $ 2ust got back into town.
$ thought maybe $ could bum a ride o&& you or something, but that(s cool.
$ could *robably 2ust take a cab, something like that. 1m--
Yeah, $ guess $(ll hang out with you later, something like that.
3hoy there, matey4 You in &or the long haul?
You need a little hitch in your get-along, a little li&t on down the line?
!h, um, yeah, actually, $ was waiting &or a cab or something, but i& you want to--
3ll right. Don(t miss the boat.
- 0ey, thanks. - 5ot a *roblem.
3nchors aweigh4
So what do you think o& my little %essel?
She(s what we call "see-worthy." S----. See with your eyes.
$ &eel like my trans*ort should be an e6tension o& my *ersonality.
"oila. 3nd this? 'his is like my little window to the world,
and e%ery minute, it(s a di&&erent show.
5ow, $ may not understand it. $ may not e%en necessarily agree with it.
But $(ll tell you what, $ acce*t it and 2ust sort o& glide along.
You want to kee* things on an e%en keel $ guess is what $(m saying.
You want to go with the &low. 'he sea re&uses no ri%er.
'he idea is to remain in a state o& constant de*arture while always arri%ing.
Sa%es on introductions and good-byes.
'he ride does not re7uire an e6*lanation.
#ust occu*ants. 'hat(s where you guys come in.
$t(s like you come onto this *lanet with a crayon bo6.
5ow, you may get the 8-*ack, you may get the .9-*ack.
But it(s all in what you do with the crayons,
the colors that you(re gi%en.
Don(t worry about drawing within the lines or coloring outside the lines.
$ say color outside the lines. :olor right o&& he *age.
Don(t bo6 me in. e(re in motion to the ocean.
e are not landlocked, $(ll tell ya that.
So where do you want out?
1h, who, me? 3m $ &irst?
1m, $ don(t know. Really, anywhere is &ine.
ell, 2ust--2ust gi%e me an address or something, okay?
'ell you what, go u* three more streets,
take a right, go two more blocks,
dro* this guy o&& on the ne6t corner.
- here(s that? - $ don(t know either, but it(s somewhere,
and it(s gonna determine the course o& the rest o& your li&e.
3ll ashore that(s going ashore.
'oot toot4
'he reason why $ re&use to take e6istentialism...
as 2ust another ;rench &ashion or historical curiosity...
is that $ think it has something %ery im*ortant to o&&er us &or the new century.
$ (m a&raid we(re losing the real %irtues o& li%ing li&e *assionately,
the sense o& taking res*onsibility &or who you are,
the ability to make something o& yoursel& and &eeling good about li&e.
-6istentialism is o&ten discussed as i& it(s a *hiloso*hy o& des*air.
But $ think the truth is 2ust the o**osite.
Sartre once inter%iewed said he ne%er really &elt a day o& des*air in his li&e.
But one thing that comes out &rom reading these guys...
is not a sense o& anguish about li&e so much as...
a real kind o& e6uberance o& &eeling on to* o& it.
$t(s like your li&e is yours to create.
$(%e read the *ost modernists with some interest, e%en admiration.
But when $ read them, $ always ha%e this aw&ul nagging &eeling...
that something absolutely essential is getting le&t out.
'he more that you talk about a *erson as a social construction...
or as a con&luence o& &orces...
or as &ragmented or marginali)ed,
what you do is you o*en u* a whole new world o& e6cuses.
3nd when Sartre talks about res*onsibility,
he(s not talking about something abstract.
0e(s not talking about the kind o& sel& or soul that theologians would argue
about.
$t(s something %ery concrete. $t(s you and me talking.
<aking decisions. Doing things and taking the conse7uences.
$t might be true that there are si6 billion *eo*le in the world and counting.
5e%ertheless, what you do makes a di&&erence.
$t makes a di&&erence, &irst o& all, in material terms.
<akes a di&&erence to other *eo*le and it sets an e6am*le.
$n short, $ think the message here is...
that we should ne%er sim*ly write oursel%es o&&...
and see oursel%es as the %ictim o& %arious &orces.
$t(s always our decision who we are.
:reation seems to come out o& im*er&ection.
$ t seems to come out o& a stri%ing and a &rustration.
3nd this is where $ think language came &rom.
$ mean, it came &rom our desire to transcend our isolation...
and ha%e some sort o& connection with one another.
3nd it had to be easy when it was 2ust sim*le sur%i%al.
=ike, you know, "water." e came u* with a sound &or that.
!r, "Saber-toothed tiger right behind you." e came u* with a sound &or that.
But when it gets really interesting, $ think,
is when we use that same system o& symbols to communicate...
all the abstract and intangible things that we(re e6*eriencing.
hat is, like, &rustration? !r what is anger or lo%e?
hen $ say "lo%e,"
the sound comes out o& my mouth...
and it hits the other *erson(s ear,
tra%els through this By)antine conduit in their brain,
you know, through their memories o& lo%e or lack o& lo%e,
and they register what $(m saying and say yes, they understand.
But how do $ know they understand? Because words are inert.
'hey(re 2ust symbols. 'hey(re dead, you know?
3nd so much o& our e6*erience is intangible.
So much o& what we *ercei%e cannot be e6*ressed. $t(s uns*eakable.
3nd yet, you know, when we communicate with one another,
and we--
we &eel that we ha%e connected,
and we think that we(re understood,
$ think we ha%e a &eeling o& almost s*iritual communion.
3nd that &eeling might be transient, but $ think it(s what we li%e &or.
$& we>re looking at the highlights o& human de%elo*ment,
you ha%e to look at the e%olution o& the organism...
and then at the de%elo*ment o& its interaction with the en%ironment.
-%olution o& the organism will begin with the e%olution o& li&e...
*ercei%ed through the hominid...
coming to the e%olution o& mankind.
5eanderthal, :ro-<agnon man.
5ow, interestingly, what you>re looking at here are three strings?
biological, anthro*ological--
de%elo*ment o& the cities, cultures--
and cultural, which is human e6*ression.
5ow, what you>%e seen here is the e%olution o& *o*ulations,
not so much the e%olution o& indi%iduals.
3nd in addition, i& you look at the time scales that(s in%ol%ed here--
two billion years &or li&e,
si6 million years &or the hominid,
years &or mankind as we know it--
you(re beginning to see the telesco*ing nature o& the e%olutionary *aradigm.
3nd then when you get to agricultural,
when you get to scienti&ic re%olution and industrial re%olution,
you(re looking at years, years, years.
You(re seeing a &urther telesco*ing o& this e%olutionary time.
hat that means is that as we go through the new e%olution,
it(s gonna telesco*e to the *oint we should be able to see it mani&est itsel&...
within our li&etime, within this generation.
'he new e%olution stems &rom in&ormation,
and it stems &rom two ty*es o& in&ormation? digital and analog.
'he digital is arti&icial intelligence.
'he analog results &rom molecular biology, the cloning o& the organism.
3nd you knit the two together with neurobiology.
Be&ore on the old e%olutionary *aradigm,
one would die and the other would grow and dominate.
But under the new *aradigm, they would e6ist...
as a mutually su**orti%e, noncom*etiti%e grou*ing.
!kay, inde*endent &rom the e6ternal.
3nd what is interesting here is that e%olution now becomes an indi%idually
centered *rocess,
emanating &rom the needs and the desires o& the indi%idual,
and not an e6ternal *rocess, a *assi%e *rocess...
where the indi%idual is 2ust at the whim o& the collecti%e.
So, you *roduce a neo-human with a new indi%iduality and a new consciousness.
But that(s only the beginning o& the e%olutionary cycle...
because as the ne6t cycle *roceeds,
the in*ut is now this new intelligence.
3s intelligence *iles on intelligence,
as ability *iles on ability, the s*eed changes.
1ntil what? 1ntil you reach a crescendo in a way...
could be imagined as an enormous instantaneous &ul&illment o& human,
human and neo-human *otential.
$t could be something totally di&&erent.
$t could be the am*li&ication o& the indi%idual,
the multi*lication o& indi%idual e6istences.
@arallel e6istences now with the indi%idual no longer restricted by time and
s*ace.
3nd the mani&estations o& this neo-human-ty*e e%olution,
mani&estations could be dramatically counter-intuiti%e.
'hat(s the interesting *art. 'he old e%olution is cold.
$t(s sterile. $t(s e&&icient, okay?
3nd its mani&estations are those social ada*tations.
You(re talking about *arasitism, dominance, morality, okay?
1h, war, *redation, these would be sub2ect to de-em*hasis.
'hese would be sub2ect to de-e%olution.
'he new e%olutionary *aradigm will gi%e us the human traits o& truth, o&
loyalty,
o& 2ustice, o& &reedom.
'hese will be the mani&estations o& the new e%olution.
'hat is what we would ho*e to see &rom this. 'hat would be nice.
3 sel&-destructi%e man &eels com*letely alienated, utterly alone.
0e(s an outsider to the human community.
0e thinks to himsel&, "$ must be insane."
hat he &ails to reali)e is that society has, 2ust as he does,
a %ested interest in considerable losses and catastro*hes.
'hese wars, &amines, &loods and 7uakes meet well-de&ined needs.
<an wants chaos.
$n &act, he(s gotta ha%e it.
De*ression, stri&e, riots, murder, all this dread.
e(re irresistibly drawn to that almost orgiastic state...
created out o& death and destruction.
$t(s in all o& us. e re%el in it.
Sure, the media tries to *ut a sad &ace on these things,
*ainting them u* as great human tragedies.
But we all know the &unction o& the media has ne%er been...
to eliminate the e%ils o& the world, no.
'heir 2ob is to *ersuade us to acce*t those e%ils and get used to li%ing with
them.
'he *owers that be want us to be *assi%e obser%ers.
0ey, you got a match?
3nd they ha%en(t gi%en us any other o*tions...
outside the occasional, *urely symbolic,
*artici*atory act o& %oting.
You want the *u**et on the right or the *u**et on the le&t?
$ &eel that the time has come to *ro2ect my own...
inade7uacies and dissatis&actions...
into the socio*olitical and scienti&ic schemes,
=et my own lack o& a %oice be heard.
$ kee* thinking about something you said.
- Something $ said? - Yeah.
3bout how you o&ten &eel like you(re obser%ing your li&e...
&rom the *ers*ecti%e o& an old woman about to die.
- You remember that? - Yeah. $ still &eel that way sometimes.
=ike $(m looking back on my li&e.
=ike my waking li&e is her memories.
-6actly.
$ heard that 'im =eary said as he was dying...
that he was looking &orward to the moment...
when his body was dead, but his brain was still ali%e.
'hey say that there(s still to minutes o& brain acti%ity a&ter e%erything
is shut down.
3nd a second o& dream consciousness, right,
well, that(s in&initely longer than a waking second.
- You know what $(m saying? - !h, yeah, de&initely.
;or e6am*le, $ wake u* and it(s ?
and then $ go back to slee* and $ ha%e those long, intricate,
beauti&ul dreams that seem to last &or hours,
and then $ wake u* and it(s... ? .
-6actly. So then to minutes o& brain acti%ity,
$ mean, that could be your whole li&e.
$ mean, you are that woman looking back o%er e%erything.
!kay, so what i& $ am? 'hen what would you be in all that?
hate%er $ am right now.
$ mean, yeah, maybe $ only e6ist in your mind.
$(m still 2ust as real as anything else.
Yeah.
- $(%e been thinking also about something you said. - hat(s that?
#ust about reincarnation and where all the new souls come &rom o%er time.
-%erybody always say that they(%e been the reincarnation...
o& :leo*atra or 3le6ander the Great.
$ always want to tell them they were *robably some dumb &uck like e%erybody
else.
$ mean, it(s im*ossible. 'hink about it.
'he world *o*ulation has doubled in the *ast years, right?
- So i& you really belie%e in that ego thing o& one eternal soul, - <m-hmm.
then you only ha%e a A chance o& your soul being o%er .
3nd &or it to be o%er years old, then it(s only one out o& si6.
So what are you saying then? Reincarnation doesn(t e6ist...
or that we(re all young souls like where hal& o& us are &irst-round humans?
5o, no. hat $(m trying to say is that somehow $ belie%e...
reincarnation is 2ust a--
a *oetic e6*ression o& what collecti%e memory really is.
'here was this article by this biochemist that $ read not long ago,
and he was talking about how when a member o& a s*ecies is born,
it has a billion years o& memory to draw on.
3nd this is where we inherit our instincts.
$ like that. $t(s like there(s, um,
this whole tele*athic thing going on that we>re all a *art o&,
whether we>re conscious o& it or not.
'hat would e6*lain why there(s all these, you know,
seemingly s*ontaneous, worldwide, inno%ati%e lea*s in science, in the arts.
You know, like the same results *o**in( u* e%erywhere inde*endent o& each other.
Some guy on a com*uter, he &igures something out,
and then almost simultaneously, a bunch o& other *eo*le all o%er the world...
- &igure out the same thing. - <m-hmm.
'hey did this study. 'hey isolated a grou* o& *eo*le o%er time,
and they monitored their abilities at crossword *u))les...
in relation to the general *o*ulation.
3nd then they secretly ga%e them a day-old crossword,
one that had already been answered by thousands o& other *eo*le.
'heir scores went u* dramatically, like *ercent.
So it(s like once the answers are out there,
you know, *eo*le can *ick u* on (em.
$t(s like we(re all tele*athically sharing our e6*eriences.
$(ll get you mother&uckers i& it(s the last thing $ do.
!h, you(re gonna *ay &or what you did to me.
;or e%ery second $ s*end in this hellhole,
$(ll see you s*end a year in li%ing hell4
!h, you &ucks are gonna beg me to let you die.
5o, no, not yet.
$ want you cocksuckers to su&&er.
!h, $(ll &i6 your &uckin( asses, all right.
<aybe a long needle in your eardrum.
3 hot cigar in your eye.
5othin( &ancy.
Some molten lead u* the ass.
!oh4
!r better still,
some o& that old 3*ache shit.
:ut your eyelids o&&. Yeah.
$(ll 2ust listen to you &ucks screamin(.
!h, what sweet music that(ll be.
Yeah. e(ll do it in the hos*ital.
ith doctors and nurses so you *ricks don(t die on me too 7uick.
You know the best *art?
'he best *art is you dick-smokin( &aggots will ha%e your eyelids cut o&&,
so you>ll ha%e to watch me do it to you, yeah.
You(ll see me bring that cigar closer and closer...
to your wide-o*en eyeball...
till you(re almost out o& your mind.
But not 7uite...
(cause $ want it to last a long, long time.
$ want you to know that it(s me,
that $(m the one that(s doin( it to you.
<e4
3nd that sissy *sychiatrist?
hat unmitigated ignorance4
'hat old drunken &art o& a 2udge4
hat a *om*ous ass4
#udge not lestye be 2udged4
3ll o& you *ukes are gonna die the day $ get out o& this shithole4
$ guarantee you>ll regret the day you met me4
$n a way, in our contem*orary world %iew,
$t(s easy to think that science has come to take the *lace o& God.
But some *hiloso*hical *roblems remain as troubling as e%er.
'ake the *roblem o& &ree will.
'his *roblem(s been around &or a long time,
since be&ore 3ristotle in B.:.
St. 3ugustine, St. 'homas 37uinas,
these guys all worried about how we can be &ree...
i& God already knows in ad%ance e%erything you(re gonna do.
5owadays we know that the world o*erates according to some &undamental *hysical
laws,
and these laws go%ern the beha%ior o& e%ery ob2ect in the world.
5ow, these laws, because they(re so trustworthy,
they enable incredible technological achie%ements.
But look at yoursel&. e(re 2ust *hysical systems too.
e(re 2ust com*le6 arrangements o& carbon molecules.
e(re mostly water,
and our beha%ior isn(t gonna be an e6ce*tion to basic *hysical laws.
So it starts to look like whether it(s God setting things u* in ad%ance...
and knowing e%erything you(re gonna do...
or whether it(s these basic *hysical laws go%erning e%erything.
'here(s not a lot o& room le&t &or &reedom.
So now you might be tem*ted to 2ust ignore the 7uestion,
ignore the mystery o& &ree will.
Say, "!h, well, it(s 2ust an historical anecdote. $t(s so*homoric.
$t(s a 7uestion with no answer. #ust &orget about it."
But the 7uestion kee*s staring you right in the &ace.
You think about indi%iduality, &or e6am*le, who you are.
ho you are is mostly a matter o& the &ree choices that you make.
!r take res*onsibility. You can only be held res*onsible,
you can only be &ound guilty or admired or res*ected...
&or things you did o& your own &ree will.
'he 7uestion kee*s coming back, and we don(t really ha%e a solution to it.
$t starts to look like all your decisions are really 2ust a charade.
'hink about how it ha**ens. 'here(s some electrical acti%ity in your brain.
Your neurons &ire. 'hey send a signal down into your ner%ous system.
$t *asses along down into your muscle &ibers.
'hey twitch. You might, say, reach out your arm.
=ooks like it(s a &ree action on your *art,
but e%ery one o& those-- e%ery *art o& that *rocess...
is actually go%erned by *hysical law?
chemical laws, electrical laws and so on.
So now it 2ust looks like the Big Bang set u* the initial conditions,
and the whole rest o& our history,
the whole rest o& human history and e%en be&ore,
is really 2ust sort o& the *laying out o& subatomic *articles...
according to these basic &undamental *hysical laws.
e think we>re s*ecial. e think we ha%e some kind o& s*ecial dignity,
but that now comes under threat.
$ mean, that(s really challenged by this *icture.
So you might be saying, "ell, wait a minute. hat about 7uantum mechanics?
"$ know enough contem*orary *hysical theory to know it(s not really like that.
"$t(s really a *robabilistic theory.
'here(s room. $t(s loose. $t(s not deterministic."
3nd that(s gonna enable us to understand &ree will.
But i& you look at the details, it(s not really gonna hel*...
because what ha**ens is you ha%e some %ery small 7uantum *articles,
and their beha%ior is a**arently a bit random.
'hey swer%e. 'heir beha%ior is absurd in the sense that it(s un*redictable...
and we can(t understand it based on anything that came be&ore.
$t 2ust does something out o& the blue, according to a *robabilistic &ramework.
But is that gonna hel* with &reedom?
Should our &reedom 2ust be a matter o& *robabilities,
2ust some random swer%ing in a chaotic system?
'hat 2ust seems like it(s worse. $(d rather be a gear...
in a big deterministic, *hysical machine...
than 2ust some random swer%ing.
So we can(t 2ust ignore the *roblem.
e ha%e to &ind room in our contem*orary world %iew &or *ersons,
with all that that it entailsB not 2ust bodies, but *ersons.
3nd that means trying to sol%e the *roblem o& &reedom,
&inding room &or choice and res*onsibility...
and trying to understand indi%iduality.
You can(t &ight city hall, death and ta6es.
Don(t talk about *olitics or religion.
'his is all the e7ui%alent o& enemy *ro*aganda rolling across the *icket line.
" =ay down, G.$. =ay down, G.$."
e saw it all through the th :entury.
3nd now in the st :entury, it(s time to stand u* and reali)e...
that we should not allow oursel%es to be crammed into this rat ma)e.
e should not submit to dehumani)ation.
$ don(t know about you, but $(m concerned with what(s ha**ening in this world.
$(m concerned with the structure.
$(m concerned with the systems o& control,
those that control my li&e and those that seek to control it e%en more4
$ want &reedom4 'hat(s what $ want4
3nd that(s what you should want4
$t(s u* to each and e%ery one o& us to turn loose and 2ust sho%el the greed,
the hatred, the en%y and, yes, the insecurities...
because that is the central mode o& control-- make us &eel *athetic, small...
so we(ll willingly gi%e u* our so%ereignty, our liberty, our destiny.
e ha%e got to reali)e that we(re being conditioned on a mass scale.
Start challenging this cor*orate sla%e state4
'he st :entury is gonna be a new century,
not the century o& sla%ery, not the century o& lies and issues o& no
signi&icance...
and classism and statism and all the rest o& the modes o& control4
$t(s gonna be the age o& humankind...
standing u* &or something *ure and something right4
hat a bunch o& garbage-- liberal Democrat, conser%ati%e Re*ublican.
$t(s all there to control you. 'wo sides o& the same coin.
'wo management teams bidding &or control4
'he :.-.!. 2ob o& Sla%ery, $ncor*orated4
'he truth is out there in &ront o& you, but they lay out this bu&&et o& lies4
$(m sick o& it, and $(m not gonna take a bite out o& it4 Do you got me?
Resistance is not &utile. e(re gonna win this thing.
0umankind is too good4 e(re not a bunch o& underachie%ers4
e(re gonna stand u* and we(re gonna be human beings4
e(re gonna get &ired u* about the real things, the things that matter?
creati%ity and the dynamic human s*irit that re&uses to submit4
ell, that(s it4 'hat(s all $ got to say4 $t(s in your court.
'he 7uest is to be liberated &rom the negati%e,
which is really our own will to nothingness.
3nd once ha%ing said yes to the instant,
the a&&irmation is contagious.
$t bursts into a chain o& a&&irmations that knows no limit.
'o say yes to one instant...
is to say yes to all o& e6istence.
'he main character is what you might call "the mind."
$t(s mastery, it(s ca*acity to re*resent.
'hroughout history, attem*ts ha%e been made...
to contain those e6*eriences which ha**en at the edge o& the limit...
where the mind is %ulnerable.
But $ think we are in a %ery signi&icant moment in history.
'hose moments, those what you might call liminal,
=imit, &rontier, edge )one e6*eriences...
are actually now becoming the norm.
'hese multi*licities and distinctions and di&&erences...
that ha%e gi%en great di&&iculty to the old mind...
are actually through entering into their %ery essence,
tasting and &eeling their uni7ueness.
!ne might make a breakthrough to that common something...
that holds them together.
3nd so the main character is, to this new mind,
greater, greater mind.
3 mind that yet is to be.
3nd when we are ob%iously entered into that mode,
you can see a radical sub2ecti%ity,
radical attunement to indi%iduality, uni7ueness to that which the mind is,
o*ens itsel& to a %ast ob2ecti%ity.
So the story is the story o& the cosmos now.
'he moment is not 2ust a *assing, em*ty nothing yet.
3nd this is in the way in which these secret *assages ha**en.
Yes, it(s em*ty with such &ullness...
that the great moment, the great li&e o& the uni%erse...
is *ulsating in it.
3nd each one, each ob2ect, each *lace, each act...
=ea%es a mark.
3nd that story is singular.
But, in &act, it(s story a&ter story.
'ime 2ust dissol%es into 7uick-mo%ing *articles that are swirling away.
-ither $(m mo%ing &ast or time is. 5e%er both simultaneously.
$t(s such a strange *arado6. $ mean, while, technically,
$ (m closer to the end o& my li&e than $(%e e%er been,
$ actually &eel more than e%er that $ ha%e all the time in the world.
hen $ was younger, there was a des*eration, a desire &or certainty,
=ike there was an end to the *ath, and $ had to get there.
$ know what you mean because $ can remember thinking,
"!h, someday, like in my mid-thirties maybe,
e%erything(s going to 2ust somehow 2ell and settle, 2ust end."
$t was like there was this *lateau, and it was waiting &or me,
and $ was climbing u* it, and when $ got to the to*,
all growth and change would sto*.
-%en e6hilaration. But that hasn(t ha**ened like that, thank goodness.
$ think that what we don(t take into account when we>re young is our endless
curiosity.
'hat(s what(s so great about being human.
- You know that thing Benedict 3nderson says about identity? - 5o.
ell, he(s talking about like, say, a baby *icture.
So you *ick u* this *icture, this two-dimensional image, and you say, "'hat(s
me."
ell, to connect this baby in this weird little image...
with yoursel& li%ing and breathing in the *resent,
you ha%e to make u* a story like, "'his was me when $ was a year old,
"and later $ had long hair, and then we mo%ed to Ri%erdale,
and now here $ am."
So it takes a story that(s actually a &iction...
to make you and the baby in the *icture identical to create your identity.
3nd the &unny thing is, our cells are com*letely regenerating e%ery se%en years.
e(%e already become com*letely di&&erent *eo*le se%eral times o%er,
and yet we always remain 7uintessentially oursel%es.
0mm.
!ur criti7ue began as all criti7ues begin?
with doubt.
Doubt became our narrati%e.
!urs was a 7uest &or a new story, our own.
3nd we gras* toward this new history dri%en by the sus*icion...
that ordinary language couldn(t tell it.
!ur *ast a**eared &ro)en in the distance,
and our e%ery gesture and accent...
signi&ied the negation o& the old world and the reach &or a new one.
'he way we li%ed created a new situation,
one o& e6uberance and &riendshi*,
that o& a sub%ersi%e microsociety...
in the heart o& a society which ignored it.
3rt was not the goal but the occasion and the method...
&or locating our s*eci&ic rhythm...
and buried *ossibilities o& our time.
'he disco%ery o& a true communication was what it was about,
or at least the 7uest &or such a communication.
'he ad%enture o& &inding it and losing it.
e the una**eased, the unacce*ting continued looking,
&illing in the silences with our own wishes, &ears and &antasies.
Dri%en &orward by the &act that no matter how em*ty the world seemed,
no matter how degraded and used u* the world a**eared to us,
we knew that anything was still *ossible.
3nd, gi%en the right circumstances,
a new world was 2ust as likely as an old one.
'here are two kinds o& su&&erers in this world?
those who su&&er &rom a lack o& li&e...
and those who su&&er &rom an o%erabundance o& li&e.
$(%e always &ound mysel& in the second category.
hen you come to think o& it,
almost all human beha%ior and acti%ity...
is not essentially any di&&erent &rom animal beha%ior.
'he most ad%anced technologies and cra&tsmanshi*...
bring us, at best, u* to the su*er-chim*an)ee le%el.
3ctually, the ga* between,
say, @lato or 5iet)sche and the a%erage human...
is greater than the ga* between that chim*an)ee and the a%erage human.
'he realm o& the real s*irit,
the true artist, the saint, the *hiloso*her,
is rarely achie%ed.
hy so &ew?
hy is world history and e%olution not stories o& *rogress...
but rather this endless and &utile addition o& )eroes?
5o greater %alues ha%e de%elo*ed.
0ell, the Greeks years ago were 2ust as ad%anced as we are.
So what are these barriers that kee* *eo*le...
&rom reaching anywhere near their real *otential?
'he answer to that can be &ound in another 7uestion, and that(s this?
hich is the most uni%ersal human characteristic--
&ear or la)iness?
hat are you writing?
3 no%el.
hat(s the story?
'here(s no story.
$t(s 2ust...
*eo*le, gestures, moments,
bits o& ra*ture, &leeting emotions.
$n short,
the greatest stories e%er told.
3re you in the story?
$ don(t think so.
But then $(m kind o& reading it and then writing it.
$t was in the middle o& the desert, in the middle o& nowhere,
but on the way to "egas, so, you know,
e%ery once in a while a car would *ull in, get gas.
$t was the last gas sto* be&ore "egas.
!&&ice had the chair, had a cash register,
and that was all the room there was in that o&&ice.
$ was aslee*, and $ heard a noise.
You know, 2ust like in my mind.
So $ got u*, and $ walked out,
and $ stood on the curb o& where the gas station ends,
you know, the dri%eway there.
$(m rubbing the sand out o& my eyes, trying to see what(s going on,
and way down at the %ery end o& the gas station...
they had tire racks.
:hains around them, you know.
3nd $ see there(s an -conoline %an down there.
3nd there(s a guy with his '-shirt o&&,
and he(s *acking his -conoline %an...
with all o& these tires.
0e(s got the last two tires in his hands,
*ushes them into the thing,
and then $, o& course, $ go, " 0ey, you4"
'his guy turns around, he(s got no shirt on,
he(s sweating, he(s built like a brick shithouse,
*ulls out a kni&e, it(s inches long,
and then starts running at me as &ast as he can, going,
$(m still--
"'his is wrong." $ walked in,
stuck my hand behind the cash register where the owner ke*t a. re%ol%er,
*ull it out, cocked the trigger,
and 2ust as $ turned around, he was comin( through the door.
3nd $ could see his eyes. $(ll ne%er &orget this guy(s eyes.
3nd he 2ust had bad thoughts about me in his eyes.
3nd $ &ired a round, and it hit him. Boom. Right in the chest.
Bang. 0e went-- as &ast as he was coming in the door, he went out the door.
ent right u* between the two *um*s, ethyl and regular.
3nd he must(%e been on drugs, on s*eed or something, you know,
because he stood u*...
and he still had the kni&e, and the blood was 2ust all o%er his chest,
and he stood u* and he went like that, 2ust mo%ed a little like that.
3nd $ was *retty much in shock,
so $ 2ust held the trigger back and &anned the hammer.
$t(s one o& those old-time-- Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom4
3nd $ blew him out o& the gas station.
3nd e%er since then,
$ always carry this.
$ hear that.
3 well-armed *o*ulace is the best de&ense against tyranny.
$(ll drink to that.
3nd you know,
$ ha%en(t &ired this in such a long time, $ don(t e%en know i& it>ll work.
hy don>t you *ull the trigger and &ind out?
$(m not here. =ea%e a message.
0ey, man. $ guess you already took o&& or something.
But, uh, remind me to tell you about this dream $ had last night...
(cause there(s some really &unny stu&&in it.
3ll right, man. 1h, $ guess $(ll catch you later. !kay.
Bareback riding. :o*enhagen illiam...
and his horse Same Deal.
...&or a hat band. Sew it into the inside o& the--
$ do not await the &uture,
antici*ating sal%ation, absolution,
not e%en enlightenment through *rocess.
$ subscribe to the *remise that this &lawed *er&ection is su&&icient and
com*lete...
in e%ery single, ine&&able moment.
'he Blonde Bee, the ;ire&ly, @raying <antis--
...lunatic macaroni munchkin with my googat--
...%enerable tradition o& sorcerers, shamans and other %isionaries...
who ha%e de%elo*ed and *er&ected the art o& dream tra%el,
the so-called lucid dream state...
where, by consciously controlling your dreams,
you(re able to disco%er things...
beyond your ca*acity to a**rehend in your awake state.
- inning back-to-back-- - 'ell us what ;eli6 is doing--
3 single ego is an absurdly narrow %antage &rom which to %iew this-- this
e6*erience.
3nd where most consider their indi%idual relationshi* to the uni%erse,
$ contem*late relationshi*s...
o& my %arious sel%es to one another.
hile most *eo*le with mobility *roblems...
are ha%ing trouble 2ust getting around,
at age 2oy :ullison(s out seeing the world.
CC5ow $(m &ree to see the worldCC
0ey, how(s it going?
'hey say that dreams are real only as long as they last.
:an(t you say the same thing about li&e?
3 lot o& us out there are ma**ing that mindDbody relationshi* o& dreams.
e(re called the oneironauts. e(re e6*lorers o& the dream world.
Really, it(s 2ust about the two o**osing states o& consciousness...
which don(t really o**ose at all.
See, in the waking world,
the neuro-system inhibits the acti%ation o& the %i%idness o& memories.
'his makes e%olutionary sense.
$t(d be malada*ted &or the *erce*tual image o& a *redator...
to be mistaken &or the memory o& one and %ice-%ersa.
$& the memory o& a *redator con2ured u* a *erce*tual image,
we(d be running o&& to the bathroom e%ery time we had a scary thought.
So you ha%e these serotonic neurons...
that inhibit hallucinations...
that they themsel%es are inhibited during R-< slee*.
'his allows dreams to a**ear real...
while *re%enting com*etition &rom other *erce*tual *rocesses.
'his is why dreams are mistaken &or reality.
'o the &unctional system o& neural acti%ity that creates our world,
there is no di&&erence between dreaming a *erce*tion and an action...
and actually the waking *erce*tion and action.
$ had a &riend once who told me...
that the worst mistake that you could make...
is to think that you are ali%e...
when really you>re aslee* in li&e(s waiting room.
'he trick is to combine...
your waking rational abilities...
with the in&inite *ossibilities o& your dreams.
(:ause i& you can do that, you can do anything.
Did you e%er ha%e a 2ob that you hated and worked real hard at?
3 long, hard day o& work. ;inally you get to go home, get in bed, close your
eyes.
3nd immediately you wake u* and reali)e...
that the whole day at work had been a dream.
$t(s bad enough that you sell your waking li&e &or-- &or minimum wage,
but now they get your dreams &or &ree.
0ey, man, what are you doing here?
$ &ancy mysel& the social lubricator o& the dream world,
hel*ing *eo*le become lucid a little easier.
:ut out all that &ear and an6iety stu&& and 2ust rock and roll.
By becoming lucid, you mean 2ust knowing that you>re dreaming, right?
Yeah. 3nd then you can control it.
'hey(re more realistic and less bi)arre than non-lucid dreams.
You know, $ 2ust woke &rom a dream.
$t wasn(t like a ty*ical dream. $t seemed more like $(d walked into an alternate
uni%erse.
Yeah, it(s real.
$ mean, technically, it(s a *henomenon o& slee*,
but you can ha%e so much damn &un in your dreams.
3nd, o& course, e%eryone knows &un rules.
- Yeah. -So what was going on in your dream?
!h. 3 lot o& *eo*le. 3 lot o& talking.
Some o& it was kind o& absurdist, like &rom a strange mo%ie or something.
<ostly, it was 2ust *eo*le going o&& about whate%er, really intensely.
$ woke u* wondering, where did all this stu&& come &rom?
- You can control that. - Do you ha%e these dreams all the time?
0ell, yeah. $(m always gonna make the best o& it.
But the trick is, you got to reali)e that you(re dreaming in the &irst *lace.
You got to be able to recogni)e it.
You got to be able to ask yoursel&, " 0ey, man, is this a dream?"
<ost *eo*le ne%er ask themsel%es that...
when they(re awake or es*ecially when they(re aslee*.
Seems like e%eryone(s slee*walking through their waking state...
or wake walking through their dreams.
-ither way they(re not gonna get much out o& it.
'he thing that sna**ed me into reali)ing $ was dreaming was, uh-- was my digital
clock.
$ couldn(t really read it. $t was like the circuitry was all screwed u* or
something.
Yeah, that(s real common. 3nd small *rinted material is *retty tough too.
"ery unstable.
3nother good ti*-o&& is trying to ad2ust light le%els.
You can(t really do that.
$& you see a light switch nearby, turn it on and o&& and see i& it works.
'hat(s one o& the &ew things you can(t do in a lucid dream.
hat the hell. $ can &ly around,
ha%e an interesting con%ersation with 3lbert Schweit)er.
$ can e6*lore all these new dimensions o& reality,
not to mention $ can ha%e any kind o& se6 $ want, which is way cool.
So $ can(t ad2ust light le%els. So what?
But that(s one o& the things you do to test i& you>re dreaming or not, right?
Yeah, like $ said, you can totally train yoursel& to recogni)e it.
$ mean, 2ust hit a light switch e%ery now and then.
$& the lights are on and you can(t turn them o&&, then most likely you>re
dreaming.
3nd then you can get down to business.
3nd belie%e me, it(s unlimited.
- 0ey, you know what $(%e been working on lately? - hat(s that?
!h, man, it(s way ambitious, but $(m getting better at it.
You(re gonna dig this. 'hree-si6ty %ision, man.
$ can see in all directions. @retty cool, huh?
Yeah. ow.
ell, $ got to go, man.
!kay, later, man. Su*er *er&undo on the early e%e o& your day.
- hat(s that mean? - ell, you know, $ ne%er &igured it out.
<aybe you can. 'his guy always whis*ers into my ear.
=ouis. 0e(s a recurring dream character.
:inema, in its essence,
is about re*roduction o& reality,
which is that, like, reality is actually re*roduced.
3nd &or him, it might sound like a storytelling medium, really.
3nd he &eels like, um-- like &ilm--
=ike-- like literature is better &or telling a story.
3nd i& you tell a story or e%en like a 2oke--
"'his guy walks into a bar and sees a dwar&."
'hat works really well because you>re imagining this guy and this dwar&ing this
bar.
3nd it(s an imaginati%e as*ect to it.
$n &ilm, you don(t ha%e that because you actually are &ilming a s*eci&ic guy...
in a s*eci&ic bar with a s*eci&ic dwar&...
- o& a s*eci&ic height who looks a certain way, right? - <m-hmm.
So like, um, &or Ba)in, what the ontology o& &ilm has to deal--
it has to deal with, you know, with--
- @hotogra*hy also has an ontology, - Right.
e6ce*t that it adds this dimension o& time to it...
and this greater realism.
3nd so, it(s about that guy...
at that moment in that s*ace.
3nd, you know, Ba)in is, like, a :hristian,
so he, like, belie%es that, you know--
in God, ob%iously, and e%erything.
;or him, reality and God are the same. You know, like--
3nd so what &ilm is actually ca*turing is, like, God incarnate, creating.
You know, like this %ery moment, God is mani&esting as this.
3nd what the &ilm would ca*ture i& it was &ilming us right now...
would be, like, God as this table,
and God is you and God is me and God looking the way we look right now...
and saying and thinking what we>re thinking right now...
- because we>re all God mani&est in that sense. - <m-hmm.
So &ilm is like a record o& God or the &ace o& God...
or o& the e%er-changing &ace o& God.
You ha%e a mos7uito. You want me to get it &or you?
- You got it. Yeah. - $ got it?
3nd the whole 0ollywood thing has taken &ilm...
and tried to make it this storytelling medium...
where you take these books or stories...
and then you, like, you know--
you get the scri*t and then try to &ind somebody who &its the thing.
But it(s ridiculous.
$t shouldn(t be based on the scri*t.
$t should be based on the *erson, the thing.
3nd, um-- 3nd in that sense,
they(re almost right to ha%e this whole star system...
- because then it(s about that *erson instead o& the story. - Right.
'ru&&aut always said the best &ilms aren(t made--
'he best scri*ts don(t make the best &ilms...
because they ha%e that kind o& literary, narrati%e thing that you>re sort o& a
sla%e to.
'he best &ilms are the ones that aren(t tied to that sla%ishly.
So, um-- So-- $ don(t know--
'he whole narrati%e thing seems to me like--
!b%iously, there(s narrati%ity to cinema (cause it(s in time,
2ust the way there(s narrati%ity to music.
You don(t &irst think o& the story o& the song, then make the song.
$t has to come out o& the moment.
'hat(s what &ilm has. $t(s 2ust that moment, which is holy.
You know, like this moment, it(s holy.
But we walk around like it(s not holy.
e walk around like there(s some holy moments and there are all the other
moments...
- that are not holy, but this moment is holy. - Right. Right.
3nd &ilm can let us see that.
e can &rame it so that we see, like, "3h, this moment. 0oly."
=ike "holy, holy, holy" moment by moment.
But who can li%e that way? ho can go, "ow, holy"?
Because i& $ were to look at you and let you be holy--
$ don(t know. $ would, like, sto* talking.
ell, you(d be in the moment. 'he moment is holy, right?
Yeah, but $(d be o*en.
$(d look in your eyes and $(d cry...
and $(d &eel all this stu&& and that(s not *olite.
$t would make you uncom&ortable.
You could laugh too. hy would you cry?
ell, (cause-- $ don(t know.
;or me, $ 2ust tend to cry.
1h-huh. ell--
ell, let(s do it right now. =et(s ha%e a holy moment.
- -%erything is layers, isn(t it? - Yeah.
'here(s the holy moment and then there(s the awareness...
o& trying to ha%e the holy moment...
in the same way that the &ilm is the actual moment really ha**ening,
but then the character *retending to be in a di&&erent reality.
$t(s all these layers.
3nd, uh, $ was in and out o& the holy moment, looking at you.
:an be in a holy-- You(re uni7ue that way, :a%eh.
'hat(s one o& the reasons $ en2oy you.
You can... bring me into that.
$& the world that we are &orced to acce*t is &alse and nothing is true,
then e%erything is *ossible.
!n the way to disco%ering what we lo%e, we will &ind e%erything we hate,
e%erything that blocks our *ath to what we desire.
'he com&ort will ne%er be com&ortable &or those who seek what is not on the
market.
3 systematic 7uestioning o& the idea o& ha**iness.
e(ll cut the %ocal chords o& e%ery em*owered s*eaker.
e(ll yank the social symbols through the looking glass. e(ll de%alue society(s
currency.
'o con&ront the &amiliar.
Society is a &raud so com*lete and %enal...
that it demands to be destroyed beyond the *ower o& memory to recall its
e6istence.
here there(s &ire, we will carry gasoline.
$nterru*t the continuum o& e%eryday e6*erience...
and all the normal e6*ectations that go with it.
'o li%e as i& something actually de*ended on one(s actions.
'o ru*ture the s*ell o& the ideology o& the commodi&ied consumer society...
so that our o**ressed desires o& a more authentic nature can come &orward.
'o demonstrate the contrast between what li&e *resently is and what it could be.
'o immerse oursel%es in the obli%ion o& actions and know we(re making it ha**en.
'here will be an intensity ne%er be&ore known in e%eryday li&e...
to e6change lo%e and hate, li&e and death,
terror and redem*tion, re*ulsions and attractions.
3n a&&irmation o& &reedom so reckless and un7uali&ied,
that it amounts to a total denial o& e%ery kind o& restraint and limitation.
- 0ey, old man, what you doing u* there? - $(m not sure.
You need any hel* getting down, sir?
5o, $ don(t think so.
Stu*id bastard.
5o worse than us. 0e(s all action and no theory.
e(re all theory and no actions.
hy so glum, <r. Deborg?
hat was missing was &elt irretrie%able.
'he e6treme uncertainties...
o& subsisting without working...
made e6cesses necessary...
and breaks de&initi%e.
'o 7uote Ste%enson?
"Suicide carried o&& many.
" Drink and the de%il...
took care o& the rest."
- 0ey. - 0ey.
You a dreamer?
Yeah.
$ ha%en(t seen too many o& you around lately.
'hings ha%e been tough lately &or dreamers.
'hey say dreaming(s dead, that no one does it anymore.
$t(s not dead. $t(s 2ust that it(s been &orgotten.
Remo%ed &rom our language.
5obody teaches it, so no one knows it e6ists.
'he dreamer is banished to obscurity.
$(m trying to change all that, and $ ho*e you are too.
By dreaming e%ery day.
Dreaming with our hands and dreaming with our minds.
!ur *lanet is &acing the greatest *roblems it(s e%er &aced. -%er.
So whate%er you do, don(t be bored.
'his is absolutely the most e6citing time we could ha%e *ossibly ho*ed to be
ali%e.
3nd things are 2ust starting.
3 thousand years is but an instant.
'here(s nothing new, nothing di&&erent. 'he same *attern o%er and o%er.
'he same clouds, the same music,
the same insight &elt an hour or an eternity ago.
'here(s nothing here &or me now, nothing at all.
5ow $ remember. 'his ha**ened to me be&ore. 'his is why $ le&t.
You ha%e begun to &ind your answers.
3lthough it will seem di&&icult, the rewards will be great.
-6ercise your human mind as thoroughly as *ossible,
knowing it is only an e6ercise.
Build beauti&ul arti&acts, sol%e *roblems,
e6*lore the secrets o& the *hysical uni%erse.
Sa%or the in*ut &rom all the senses.
;eel the 2oy and sorrow, the laughter, the em*athy, com*assion...
and tote the emotional memory in your tra%el bag.
$ remember where $ came &rom and how $ became a human.
hy $ hung around. 3nd now my &inal de*arture is scheduled.
'his way out. -sca*ing %elocity.
5ot 2ust eternity, but in&inity.
- -6cuse me. - -6cuse me.
0ey. :ould we do that again?
$ know we ha%en(t met, but $ don(t want to be an ant. You know?
$ mean, it(s like we go through li&e...
with our antennas bouncing o&& one other,
continuously on ant auto*ilot,
with nothing really human re7uired o& us.
Sto*. Go. alk here. Dri%e there.
3ll action basically &or sur%i%al.
3ll communication sim*ly to kee* this ant colony bu))ing along...
in an e&&icient, *olite manner.
" 0ere(s your change." " @a*er or *lastic?" ":redit or debit?"
"You want ketchu* with that?"
$ don(t want a straw. $ want real human moments.
$ want to see you. $ want you to see me.
$ don(t want to gi%e that u*. $ don(t want to be an ant, you know?
Yeah. Yeah, $ know.
$ don(t want to be an ant, either.
Yeah, thanks &or kind o&, like, 2ostling me there.
$(%e been kind o& on )ombie auto*ilot lately.
$ don(t &eel like an ant in my head, but $ guess $ *robably look like one.
$t(s kind o& like D.0. =awrence had this idea o& two *eo*le meeting on a road...
3nd instead o& 2ust *assing and glancing away,
they decided to acce*t what he calls "the con&rontation between their souls."
$t(s like, um-- like &reeing the bra%e reckless gods within us all.
'hen it(s like we ha%e met.
$(m doing this *ro2ect. $(m ho*ing you(ll be interested in doing it.
$t(s a soa* o*era,
and, so, the characters are the &antasy li%es.
'hey(re the alter egos o& the *er&ormers who are in it.
So you *retty much 2ust &igure out something that you>%e always wanted to do...
or the li&e you>%e wanted to lead or occu*ation or something like that.
3nd we write that in, and then we also ha%e your li&e intersect...
with other *eo*le(s in the soa* o*era in some ty*ical soa* o*era &ashion.
'hen $ also want to show it in a li%e %enue...
and ha%e the actors *resent so that once the e*isode is screened,
then the audience can direct...
the actors &or subse7uent e*isodes with menus or something.
So it has a lot to do with choices and honoring *eo*le(s ability...
to say what it is that they want to see...
and also consumerism and art and commodity.
3nd i& you don(t like what you got, then you can send it back...
or you get what you *ay &or,
or 2ust *artici*ating, 2ust really making choices.
- So, you wanna do it? - 1h, yeah. Yeah, that sounds really cool.
$(d lo%e to be in it, but, um--
1h, $ kinda gotta ask you a 7uestion &irst though.
$ don(t really know how to say it, but, um--
uh, what(s it like to be a character in a dream?
(:ause, uh, $(m not awake right now.
3nd $ ha%en(t e%en worn a watch since, like, &ourth grade.
$ think this is the same watch too.
1m-- 1h, yeah.
$ don(t e%en know i& you>re able to answer that 7uestion.
But $(m 2ust trying to get like a sense o& where $ am and what(s going on.
So, what about you? hat(s your name? hat(s your address?
hat are you doing?
$-- $-- You know, $ can(t really remember right now.
$ can(t really-- $ can(t really recall that.
But that(s beside the *oint...
whether or not $ can dredge u* this in&ormation...
about, you know, my address or, you know,
my mom(s maiden name or whatnot.
$(%e got the bene&it in this reality, i& you wanna call that,
o& a consistent *ers*ecti%e.
hat is your consistent *ers*ecti%e?
$t(s mostly 2ust me dealing with a lot o& *eo*le...
who are...
e6*osing me to in&ormation and ideas...
that... seem %aguely &amiliar,
but, at the same time,
it(s all %ery alien to me.
$(m not in an ob2ecti%e, rational world.
=ike, $(%e been, like, &lying around.
1h--
$ don(t know. $t(s weird, too, because it(s not like a &i6ed state.
$t(s more like this whole s*ectrum o& awareness.
=ike the lucidity wa%ers.
=ike, right now $ know that $(m dreaming, right?
e(re, like, e%en talking about it.
'his is the most in mysel& and in my thoughts that $(%e been so &ar.
$(m talking about being in a dream.
But $(m beginning to think...
that it(s something that $ don(t really ha%e any *recedent &or.
$t(s-- $t(s totally uni7ue.
'he-- 'he 7uality o&-- o& the en%ironment...
and the in&ormation that $(m recei%ing.
=ike your soa* o*era, &or e6am*le.
'hat(s a really cool idea.
$ didn(t come u* with that. $t(s like something outside o& mysel&.
$t(s like something transmitted to me e6ternally.
$ don(t know what this is.
e seem to think we(re so limited by the world...
and-- and the con&ines, but we(re really 2ust creating them.
3nd you kee* trying to &igure it out,
but it seems like now that you know that what you>re doing is dreaming,
you can do whate%er you want to.
You(re, uh, dreaming, but you>re awake.
You ha%e, um, so many o*tions,
and that(s what li&e is about.
$ understand what you>re saying.
$t(s u* to me. $(m the dreamer.
$t(s weird. =ike, so much o& the in&ormation...
that-- that these *eo*le ha%e been im*arting to me--
$ don(t know. $t(s got this, like, really hea%y connotation to it.
- ell, how do you &eel? - ell,
ell, sometimes $ &eel kind o& isolated,
but most o& the time, $ &eel really connected,
really, like, engaged in this acti%e *rocess.
hich is kind o& weird because most o& the time,
$(%e 2ust been really *assi%e and not really res*onding,
e6ce*t &or now, $ guess.
$(m 2ust kind o& letting the in&ormation wash o%er me.
$t(s not necessarily *assi%e to not res*ond %erbally.
e(re communicating on so many le%els simultaneously.
@erha*s you(re-- you(re *ercei%ing directly.
<ost o& the *eo*le that $(%e been encountering...
and most o& the things that $ would wanna say,
it(s like they kind o& say it &or me and almost at my cue.
$t(s, like, com*lete unto itsel&.
$t(s not like $(m ha%ing a bad dream. $t(s a great dream.
But...
it(s so unlike any other dream $(%e e%er had be&ore.
$t(s like the dream.
$t(s like $(m being *re*ared &or something.
"!n this bridge," =orca warns,
"li&e is not a dream.
" Beware and beware and...
beware."
3nd so many think because "then" ha**ens,
" now" isn(t.
But didn(t $ mention the ongoing "wow" is ha**ening right now?
e are all coauthors o& this dancing e6uberance...
where e%en our inabilities are ha%ing a roast.
e are the authors o& oursel%es,
coauthoring a gigantic Dostoye%sky no%el starring clowns.
'his entire thing we(re in%ol%ed with called the world...
is an o**ortunity to e6hibit how e6citing alienation can be.
=i&e is a matter o& a miracle that is collected o%er time...
by moments &labbergasted to be in each other(s *resence.
'he world is an e6am to see i& we can rise into the direct e6*eriences.
!ur eyesight is here as a test to see i& we can see beyond it.
<atter is here as a test &or our curiosity.
Doubt is here as an e6am &or our %itality.
'homas <ann wrote that he would rather *artici*ate in li&e...
than write a hundred stories.
Giacometti was once run down by a car,
and he recalled &alling into a lucid &aint,
a sudden e6hilaration,
as he reali)ed at last something was ha**ening to him.
3n assum*tion de%elo*s that you cannot understand li&e and li%e li&e
simultaneously.
$ do not agree entirely. hich is to say $ do not e6actly disagree.
$ would say that li&e understood is li&e li%ed.
But the *arado6es bug me,
and $ can learn to lo%e and make lo%e...
to the *arado6es that bug me.
3nd on really romantic e%enings o& sel&,
$ go salsa dancing with my con&usion.
Be&ore you dri&t o&&, don(t &orget.
hich is to say, remember.
Because remembering is so much more a *sychotic acti%ity than &orgetting.
=orca in that same *oem said...
that the iguana will bite those who do not dream.
3nd as one reali)es...
that one is a dream &igure...
in another *erson(s dream,
that is sel&-awareness.
You ha%en(t met yoursel& yet.
But the ad%antage to meeting others in the meantime...
is that one o& them may *resent you to yoursel&.
-6amine the nature...
o& e%erything you obser%e.
;or instance,
you might &ind yoursel& walking through...
a dream *arking lot.
3nd, yes, those are dream &eet inside o& your dream shoes.
@art o& your dream sel&. 3nd so,
the *erson you a**ear to be in the dream...
cannot be who you really are.
'his is an image,
a mental model.
Do you remember me?
5o. 5o, $ don(t think so.
3t the station?
You were on the *ay *hone and you looked at me...
a &ew times.
$ remember that, but $ don(t remember that being you.
3re you sure?
ell, maybe not.
$ was sitting down...
and you were looking at me.
<y little &riend, dream no more. $t(s really here.
$t(s called -&&erdent @lus.
$n hell, you sink to the le%el o& your lack o& lo%e.
$n hea%en, you rise to the le%el o& your &ullness o& lo%e.
0urry u*4 :ome on4 Get in the car4 =et(s go.
3llegedly, the story goes like this.
Billy ilder runs into =ouis <alle.
'his was in the late ( s, early ( s.
3nd =ouis <alle had 2ust made his most e6*ensi%e &ilm, which had cost D
million dollars.
3nd Billy ilder asks him what the &ilm is about.
3nd =ouis <alle says, "$t(s sort o& a dream within a dream."
3nd Billy ilder says, "You 2ust lost D million dollars."
$ &eel a little more a**rehensi%e about this one than $ did--
Down through the centuries, the notion that li&e is wra**ed in a dream...
has been a *er%asi%e theme o& *hiloso*hers and *oets.
So doesn(t it make sense that death, too, would be wra**ed in dream?
'hat, a&ter death, your conscious li&e would continue...
in what might be called, "a dream body"?
$t would be the same dream body you e6*erience in your e%eryday dream li&e.
-6ce*t that in the *ost-mortal state,
you could ne%er again wake u*,
ne%er again return to your *hysical body.
3s the *attern gets more intricate and subtle,
being swe*t along is no longer enough.
hat(s the word, turd?
0ey, do you also dri%e a boat car?
- 3 what? - You ga%e me a ride in a car that was also a boat.
5o, man, $ don(t ha%e a boat car. $ don(t know what you>re talking about.
<an, this must be, like, *arallel uni%erse night.
You know that cat that was 2ust in here,
who 2ust ran out the door?
ell, he comes u* to the counter, and $ say, "hat(s the word, turd? "
3nd he lays down this burrito and he kind o& looks at me, kind o& stares at me
and says,
" $ ha%e but recently returned &rom the %alley o& the shadow o& death.
" $(m ra*turously breathing in all the odors and essences o& li&e.
"$(%e been to the brink o& total obli%ion.
$ remember and &erment the desire to remember e%erything."
So, what did you say to that?
ell, $ mean, what could $ say?
$ said, "$& you>re gonna microwa%e that burrito,
"$ want you to *oke holes in the *lastic wra**ing because they e6*lode.
3nd $(m tired o& cleaning u* your little burrito doings. You dig me?"
(:ause the 2ala*enos dry u*.
'hey(re like little wheels.
hen it was o%er, all $ could think about...
was how this entire notion o& onesel&,
what we are, is 2ust...
this logical structure,
a *lace to momentarily house all the abstractions.
$t was a time to become conscious,
to gi%e &orm and coherence to the mystery.
3nd $ had been a *art o& that. $t was a gi&t.
=i&e was raging all around me,
and e%ery moment was magical.
$ lo%ed all the *eo*le,
dealing with all the contradictory im*ulses.
'hat(s what $ lo%ed the most-- connecting with the *eo*le.
=ooking back, that(s all that really mattered.
Eierkegaard(s last words were, "Swee* me u*."
- 0ey, man. - 0ey.
eren>t you in the boat car?
You know, the guy-- the guy with the hat.
0e ga%e me a ride in his car or boat thing,
and you were in the back seat with me.
$(m not saying you don(t know what you(re talking about,
but $ don(t know what you(re talking about.
5o, see, you guys let me o&& at this really s*eci&ic s*ot...
that you ga%e him directions to let me o&& at.
$ get out and ended u* getting hit by a car.
But then $ 2ust woke u* because $ was dreaming,
and later, $ &ound out that $ was still dreaming,
dreaming that $(d woken u*.
'hose are called "&alse awakenings." $ used to ha%e those all the time.
But $(m still in it now.
$ can(t get out o& it. $t(s been going on &ore%er.
$ kee* waking u*, but $(m 2ust waking u* into another dream.
$(m starting to get cree*ed out too, like $(m talking to dead *eo*le.
'his woman on '"(s telling me about how death is this dream time...
that e6ists outside o& li&e.
$ mean, $(m starting to think that $(m dead.
$(m gonna tell you about a dream $ once had.
$ know that when someone says that,
usually you>re in &or a %ery boring ne6t &ew minutes, and you might be.
But it sounds like-- hat else are you gonna do, right?
3nyway, $ read this essay by @hili* E.. Dick.
hat, you read it in your dream?
5o, no. $ read it be&ore the dream.
$t was the *reamble to the dream.
$t was about that book, ;low <y 'ears, 'he @oliceman Said.
- You know that one? - Yeah, yeah. 0e won an award &or that one.
Right. 'hat(s the one he wrote really &ast.
$t 2ust, like, &lowed right out o& him.
0e &elt he was sort o& channeling it or something.
But anyway, about &our years a&ter it was *ublished,
he was at this *arty and he met this woman...
who had the same name as the woman character in the book.
3nd she had a boy&riend with the same name as the boy&riend character in the
book.
and she was ha%ing an a&&air with this guy, the chie& o& *olice.
3nd he had the same name as the chie& o& *olice in his book.
So she(s telling him all this stu&& &rom her li&e,
and e%erything she(s saying is right out o& his book.
So that(s really &reaking him out, but what can he do?
3nd shortly a&ter that, he was going to mail a letter,
and he saw this kind o&, um, dangerous, shady-looking guy standing by his car.
But instead o& a%oiding him, which he said he usually would ha%e done,
he walked right u* to him and said, ":an $ hel* you?"
3nd the guy said, "Yeah. $ ran out o& gas."
0e *ulls out his wallet and he hands him some money, which he says he ne%er
would ha%e done.
3nd then he gets home and he thinks, "ait a second.
'his guy can(t get to a gas station. 0e(s out o& gas."
So he gets back in his car. 0e &inds the guy, takes him to the gas station.
3nd as he(s *ulling u* to the gas station,
he reali)es, " 0ey, this is in my book too.
'his e6act station. 'his e6act guy. -%erything. "
So this whole e*isode is kind o& cree*y, right?
3nd he(s telling his *riest about it,
describing how he wrote this book,
and &our years later, all these things ha**ened to him.
3nd as he(s telling it to him, the *riest says, "'hat(s the Book o& 3cts.
You(re describing the Book o& 3cts."
0e(s like, "$(%e ne%er read the Book o& 3cts."
So he goes home and reads the Book o& 3cts,
and it(s, like, you know, uncanny.
-%en the characters( names are the same as in the Bible.
3nd the Book o& 3cts takes *lace in 3.D., when it was written, su**osedly.
So @hili* E. Dick had this theory...
that time was an illusion and that we were all actually in 3.D.
3nd the reason that he had written this book...
was that he had somehow momentarily *unctured through this illusion,
this %eil o& time.
3nd what he had seen was what was going on in the Book o& 3cts.
3nd he was really into Gnosticism.
and this idea that this demiurge, or demon,
had created this illusion o& time to make us &orget...
that :hrist was about to return...
and the kingdom o& God was about to arri%e...
and that we(re all in 3.D. and there(s someone trying to make us &orget,
you know, that--you know, that God is imminent.
3nd that(s what time is. 'hat(s what all o& history is,
this kind o& continuous, you know, daydream or distraction.
3nd so $ read that, and $ was like, "ell, that(s weird. "
3nd then that night, $ had a dream,
and there was this guy in the dream who was su**osed to be a *sychic.
But $ was ske*tical. $ was like, " 0e(s not really a *sychic."
$ was 2ust thinking to mysel&.
3nd then suddenly, $ start &loating,
=ike le%itating u* to the ceiling.
3nd as $ almost go through the roo&, $(m like,
" <r. @sychic, $ belie%e you. You(re a *sychic. @ut me down, *lease."
3nd $ &loat down, and as my &eet touch the ground,
the *sychic turns into this woman in a green dress.
3nd this woman is =ady Gregory.
5ow, =ady Gregory was Yeats( *atron, this, you know, $rish *erson.
3nd though $(d ne%er seen her image,
$ was 2ust sure that this was the &ace o& =ady Gregory.
So we(re walking along, and =ady Gregory turns to me and says,
" =et me e6*lain to you the nature o& the uni%erse.
" 5ow, @hili* E. Dick is right about time, but he(s wrong that it(s 3.D.
"3ctually, there(s only one instant, and it(s right now.
"3nd it(s eternity.
"3nd it(s an instant in which God is *osing a 7uestion.
"3nd that 7uestion is, basically, (Do you want to, you know,
"(be one with eternity?
" Do you want to be in hea%en?(
"3nd we(re all saying, (5o, thank you. 5ot 2ust yet.("
3nd so time is actually 2ust this constant saying no...
to God(s in%itation.
'hat(s what time is. $t(s no more 3.D. than it(s you know?
'here(s 2ust this one instant, and that(s what we(re always in.
3nd then she tells me that actually this is the narrati%e o& e%eryone(s li&e.
'hat behind the *henomenal di&&erence, there is but one story,
and that(s the story o& mo%ing &rom the "no" to the "yes."
3ll o& li&e is, " 5o, thank you. 5o, thank you."
'hen ultimately it(s, "Yes, $ gi%e in.
Yes, $ acce*t. Yes, $ embrace."
$ mean, that(s the 2ourney.
- -%eryone gets to the "yes" in the end, right? - Right.
So we continue walking, and my dog runs o%er to me.
So $(m *etting him. $(m really ha**y to see him. 0e(s been dead &orbears.
So $(m *etting him and then $ reali)e...
there(s this kind o& gross oo)ing stu&& coming out o& his stomach.
3nd $ look o%er at =ady Gregory, and she sort o& coughs.
She(s like-- "!h, e6cuse me."
3nd there(s %omit dribbling down her chin, and it smells really bad.
3nd $ think, "ait a second.
"'hat(s not 2ust the smell o& %omit, which doesn(t smell %ery good.
"'hat(s the smell o& dead *erson %omit.
You know, it(s, like, doubly &oul."
3nd then $ reali)e $(m actually in, you know, the land o& the dead.
3nd e%eryone around me was dead.
<y dog had been dead o%er ten years. =ady Gregory had been longer than that.
hen $ &inally woke u*, $ was like, "hoa. 'hat wasn(t a dream."
'hat was a %isitation to this real *lace, the land o& the dead."
- So what ha**ened? 0ow did you &inally get out o& it? - !h, man.
$t was 2ust like one o& those, like, li&e-altering e6*eriences.
$ could ne%er really look at the world the same way again a&ter that.
Yeah, but how did you &inally get out o& the dream?
See, that(s my *roblem. $(m tra**ed.
$ kee*-- $ kee* thinking that $(m waking u*, but $(m still in a dream.
$t seems like it(s going on &ore%er. $ can(t get out o& it.
$ wanna wake u* &or real. 0ow do you really wake u*?
$ don(t know. $(m not %ery good at that anymore.
But, um, i& that>s what you>re thinking,
$ mean, you *robably should.
$& you can wake u*, you should...
because someday you won(t be able to.
So 2ust, um-- But it(s easy.
#ust--#ust... wake u*.