THE INAPPROPRIATE RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN TEACHERS

AND STUDENTS
A healthy student-teacher relationship is important for both student and
teacher success. A student should feel his teacher is there to help him succeed and
a teacher should feel that the student appreciates and values his / her work.
Developing healthy student-teacher relationships takes time, hard work and
devotion from both sides, but once those relationships are established, it becomes
easier to teach your classes. Thus, the relationship teacher student is of a great
significance for the good marching of things. n its essence, this relationship must
be the good communication between two consciences always opened to one
another, a communication through which the teacher stimulates the active
participation of the student in his / her own process of education. !uch a relation
teacher student presupposes that those involved agree to respect each other and
their personalities. "Those students who have close, positive and supportive
relationships with their teachers will attain higher levels of achievement than those
students with more conflictual relationships. f a student feels a personal
connection to a teacher, e#periences fre$uent communication with a teacher, and
receives more guidance and praise than criticism from the teacher, then the student
is likely to become more trustful of that teacher, show more engagement in the
academic content presented, display better classroom behavior, and achieve at
higher levels academically.%
&
As a conse$uence, positive teacher student
relationships promote the students' desire to learn and draws them into the process
of learning.
&
www.apa.org (The American )sychological Association*
+owever there are some teachers and students who constantly forget what
they are supposed to do in the classroom and cross the barrier and defy the law by
having love relationships.
,eedless to say that that such a relationship is prohibited not only from the moral
and ethical point of view, but also by the law which pleads against the se#ual
relationships with minors.
-ately we have witnessed that the number of teachers who put their carrier
in .eopardy, and not only their carriers but also their freedom because of their
desire to have an inappropriate relationship with their students, has increased.
/ne of the most recent cases happened in !f. 0heorghe at the Art +ighschool
where a twelve years old student accused one of her teachers of having raped her.
+er parents claim that they have found about what had happened after reading the
girl's diary and they immediately alerted the authorities. 1ntil the elucidation of
the case the teacher was relieved of his position.
2aybe one of the most well known, but also tragic case is that of 3ogdan 4alph
5ostache, the student who committed suicide because he was in love with his
teacher. +e turned to this foolish act after the teacher broke up with him. n front
of the police officers and .ournalists the teacher admitted her love relationship
with her student even thought she was married. Thus, their story ended tragically
but because it involves school and the whole educational system we cannot stop
wondering "which are the limits that a teacher and his / her student cannot pass in
their institutional relation6% t might be a rhetorical $uestion7 it is like "$uestioning
a priest how many times he made love behind the altar.%
8
Therefore, a teacher, but
also his / her students should see their relations as something sacred and they
should not cross the professional line.
,evertheless, the most actual and debatable case is that of the sports teacher from
9ean 2onnet and his minor student. The teacher is under the accusation of raping
the girl during a voyage, but he declared that they both agreed to this action.
8
Tribuna nvatamantului, article written by 2aria Dobrescu,
+owever, during the investigation many things about both parts involved came to
light. :or instance, the :acebook profile of the minor girl showed that she had a
promiscuous behavior in her every day life and many of her colleagues were on
the teacher's side. As far as the teacher is concerned, he was arrested for a few
days after which he was released because the .udges considered that he is not a
public peril. And even though the scandals are always presented on T; because
they make good ratings, the love affair of the teacher and his student has been the
delice of the media and it has been amplified by the reputation of the highschool,
by the popularity of the teacher among his students and also by the decision of the
.udges.
n order to find out what people think about such se#ual scandals and in
order to discover which is the line that a teacher should never cross in his / her
relations with the students applied a $uestionnaire to a number of twenty people
who were willing to share with me private information about their lives. 2oreover,
also wanted to find out if they were ever put in situations like the ones described
above, that is if they were molested by a teacher or if they ever fell in love with
one of their teachers. <ven if the number is not $uite relevant managed to find
out some sincere responses to my $uestions.
The first $uestion was about the educational system in 4omania, that is
about teachers, students, curriculum and the respondents were supposed to give a
mark to this educational system. Their responses were surprising because they
rated the 4omanian educational system with marks in between 8 and =, which
means that they have such different opinions about it. !ome see the 4omanian
educational system with good eyes, while the others do not trust it. ,evertheless,
the ma.ority of the interviewed people (>?@* rated it somewhere at the middle of
the scale, meaning that they gave it a A, suggesting that it is neither the best, nor
the worst educational system, but a mediocre one.
The second $uestion was a close ended $uestion and it asked the
respondents if they trust their teachers. B?@ of them answered that they do trust
their teachers, while only 8?@ said they do not trust them. The $uestion did not
asked for further details (why they trust / trust not* because it was only designed to
discover if the teacher are still trusted or not.
The third $uestion was meant to find out if there were cases when the
teachers took too much interest on the private life of their students. /ne of the
respondents admitted that one of her teachers obliged her to take private lessons, if
contrary the teacher threatened her with failing her on his sub.ect. 3ut the
shocking part came after this, because during these private lessons the teacher used
to touch her in an unprofessional way.
There was also another positive answer to this $uestion when the teacher took too
much interest in the private life of her student but it was in a tragic moment when
the student had lost one of her parents. !till the teacher managed to keep a
professional distance.
The other respondents did not face such situations.
2oving to the fourth $uestion, people were asked to give their opinion
concerning the latest se#ual scandals between teachers and students, scandals
which were so much promoted by the media. !ome of the answers were that there
is a lack of education on both siCes, or that there is not a clear, delimited distance
between teachers and students. 2any (almost >=@* blamed the lack of morality
and professionalism of teachers, while others claimed that the guilt is on both
siCesD the students' outraging behavior on one side and the teachers' easy values on
the other.
:urthermore, the fifth $uestion refered to which degree a teacher should
know private details about their students' lives. The answers were not surprisingly
at all, because =B@ said that only in a small measure teachers should take interest
in their private lives, while 8@ said that they should not know anything about
them. The percentage shows that people believe their personal lives have nothing
to do with school. n this way they manage to keep a professional but also healthy
relation with their teachers.
n addition, the si#th $uestion moved to the point of this $uestionnaire and
asked people what do they think about the love affairs between teachers and
students. /f course, they did not agree to such relationships saying that teachers
are supposed to educate and prepare a student. Thus, they found wrong, ungraceful
but also embarrassing this type of love relationships and they claimed that in such
situations the student should be e#pelled and the teacher should be e#cluded from
the educational system. There was .ust one person who said that in e#treme cases,
when both parts involved are really in love, the teacher should $uit his / her .ob so
that they could avoid conflictual situations.
The seventh $uestion asked the respondents to describe the prototypical
modern student of nowadays. 2ost of them answered that students today are no
longer interested in studying but in showing off the latest fashion or their parents
e#pensive cars. They also said that students no longer have respect for the teachers
and that they are dominated by technology. Ee can notice that the opinions are
similar but we do not have to make generaliCations from here.
2oreover, the eighth $uestion asked people to e#press their opinion
concerning the statementD "There are no bad students, only bad teaches.% 2ost of
them agreed that this saying is not valid because both parts are responsible in the
process of education. 3eside this they argued that each person has his / her good
and bad parts. Thus, there are good students who manage without the help of their
teachers who are not interested in giving them the right education or there are
good teachers interested in doing their .ob but they do not have students interested
in studying. Also, most of them said that the teacher is the mature person in this
relation and because of this he / she should be a model for the students.
The ninth $uestion asked the respondents to describe the prototypical
modern teacher of nowadays. /ne of the respondents characteriCed the modern
teacher as a revolutionist who should do everything in his power to attract (in the
professional way* his students to learn and cone to his / classes with pleasure.
Another person gave a more ironical answerD "The modern teacher has a facebook
profile7 he stays on 2essenger to talk and make .okes with his students7 he
answers to their instant messages and does not do anything to maintain a
professional relation.% /n the other hand, others said that teachers today are more
open-minded and they choose educational activities in accordance with the needs
of his students. +owever the response that was the most fre$uently given was that
teachers forget about the ethical part of their .ob and they transformed themselves
in persons who simply came to the classroom, taught something and left without
carrying if the students understood or not.
The last $uestion was based on a study made in America, a study which
proved that the new networks of socialiCation encourage an e#posure too big for
both teachers and students' lives. Thus, asked people if they agreed to this or not.
F?@ said that they indeed believe that the socialiCation sites and networks
encourage an e#posure too big, while G?@ did not agree. They motivated their
answer by saying that everyone should reveal as much as he / she wants, according
to their principles and to what they want the others to know.
The conclusions reached after applying this $uestionnaire were thatD
&. )eople do not see with good eyes the love relationships between teachers
and students. n such a situation, the teacher is considered the mature one
and he / she should set some limits in his / her relation with the students7
8. The factors that seem to influence a love affair between a teacher and a
student have to do with the easy moral values of each person involved, but
also with the lack of education and professionalism of teachers7
H. )eople consider that students are more interested in other things than
learning. Thus they have other preoccupations and priorities than studying7
G. Teachers should not know too many things about the private lives of their
students and they should maintain their interest in the scholar sphere7
A. The new means of socialiCation encourage an e#posure too big for both
teachers and students.
The psychologist opinion about the relations between teachers and students is
the followingD "The adolescent is a person who looks for models and when he
finds one he venerates and worships him. 2any students end by falling in love
with his teacher because they are attracted by their looks, by their physi$ue or by
their intellect. !ome never speak about this love, but others, the most courageous
ones, send "signals% to their teachers e#pecting for a sign. t seems that nowadays
students have a greater chance compared with the elder studentsD the barrier
between teachers and students is often broken. !ome time ago, the teacher felt like
an important person from the society while today the teacher student relation is
another. Ehen the teacher does no longer see his / her mission he / she is a sure
pray to temptation.%
H
A psychopedagog tried to e#plain how she acts in front of such behaviorsD "
try to discover the cause of such inappropriate relations, try to talk with both
persons involved, separately or together. 3ut the teachers are those who have to
establish boundaries, because students often become addicted to the presence of
that teacher. 3etween the teacher and his students should be the most a relation of
sympathy, as a didactic model.%
G
What do positive student-teache e!ationships !oo" !i"e in the c!assoo#$
"Teachers show their pleasure and en.oyment of students.
Teachers interact in a responsive and respectful manner.
Teachers offer students help (e.g., answering $uestions in timely manner,
offering support that matches the children's needs* in achieving academic
and social ob.ectives.
Teachers help students reflect on their thinking and learning skills.
H
www.evC.ro, Ieren 4osner, psychologist
G
www.Ciaruldeiasi.ro, 5laudia 5arausu, scholar adviser
Teachers know and demonstrate knowledge about individual students'
interests, emotional strengths and academic levels.
Teachers seldom show irritability or aggravation toward students.%
A
Taking these points into consideration it should be concluded that the teacher is
the one who should make the rules in the classroom, that means he should be the
one who should establish the boundaries in his / her relation with the students.
:urthermore before doing something that he / she would regret later the teacher
should think that he / she must be a model for his / her students, not a love partner.
3eside this, in order to have a healthy relation with his / her students a teacher
should respect the rules he / she established in the classroom and think that he /
she is the adult in such a love relationship, while the student is only a teenager
dominated by his / her hormones.
A
httpD//www.apa.org
THE INAPPROPRIATE RELATIONSHIPS
BETWEEN TEACHERS AND STUDENTS
!tudentD Ale#andra )avel
5!5, A,