Linda Marie Petersen Psychology of Women Reflections Journal PSYC 1190-60

1. Are You A Feminist? Why or Why Not? August 28, 2009

The definition given in class of a Feminist is: A person who favors political, economic and

social equality of women and men and therefore favors the legal and social changes necessary to

achieve that equality.

Based on this definition, I would have to say that I was a feminist. But do not really consider

myself to be one. When I (and a great many people) think of the term “feminist” the thought that

comes to mind are the femi-nazis; those women who are very militant feminists, that seems to be

obsessed with oppressing the entirety of the male populace. By THIS definition, I would whole

heartedly say, NO.

I believe equality should be based on skill, not on sex. This is why I have a very difficult time

with the “glass ceiling” women seem to encounter when trying to advance in their chosen career,

the fact that women make less money than men. If there were true political, economic and social

equality of women and men, this would not be an issue.

2. What Does Femininity Mean to You? September 9, 2009

When I hear the word Femininity, I immediately think of the tight corseted, frail – seeming

women which was very much centered in and around caring for her children, her husband and

doing or showing nothing but respectability at all times.

In fact, just out of curiosity, I did a Google search for the term Femininity. The very first link

had this list at the top of the page, with different phrases about femininity:

Feminine arts, being feminine, be more feminine, ideal woman, womanhood, how

to make him fall in love, play hard to get, attract a man, being more attractive,

femininity courses & ebooks, confidence, relationship advice, marriage, make a

man fall in love, attraction, dating tips for women, Southern Belles, charm
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lessons, charisma, beautiful, classy, mysterious lady, romance your boyfriend,

seduce your husband, beauty secrets, finishing school, geisha and courtesan

charms, best wife.

To me, femininity is both an ideal and a curse. For the woman who chooses to attempt and

uphold this way of life, she will find it a near impossible if not a completely impossible task, as it

puts too much strain (both emotionally and physically) on the woman.

Although, there are certainly aspects of femininity we should all take away from the ideal, I do

not see it as a fully, attainable existence.

3. My BEM Scale September 11, 2009

I am not entirely certain I believe in the BEM scores. I scored lower on both the Masculinity and

Femininity scales, which would lead me to believe that I am a true neutral. That does not fit with

who and what I am and who I have become. Either the test is skewed one way or the other, or I

am not good at self reporting. It could be a mixture of the two. Either way, I question the

validity of the test.

4. What Ethnic Group Do You Identify With? September 16, 2009

There are two ethnic groups I identify with, Those being Euro-American, Midwestern USA

version.

The second one is the Asian ethnic group – specifically, Japanese.

How Has That Shaped How You View The World?

Ever since High School, when I became friends with a Japanese foreign exchange student in my

junior year, they have fascinated me. Not only their traditional clothing (kimono, obi, wooden

shoes, etc. but their culture, their language, how they present themselves, their television, their

art, etc.
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I am definitely my mother’s child. I have her temper, her way of internalizing things and many

of her mannerisms. Similarly, I am also my fathers, daughter. I have his attitude towards people

of certain cultures (in general, his views on government, and the “If I can’t fix it myself, at least I

can give it a try before calling someone to do it,” attitude.

I have loved the sound of the Japanese language ever since I first heard it spoken at the age of

seventeen when I met Chizuru, a foreign exchange student that was here from Japan. We

became friends and when she put on a party for her host-family, she invited me to take part. She

dressed me up in full kimono, gave me a wig, and did my face white, like the traditional geisha.

I had been practicing a song she taught me and we did that in front of everyone at the party. It

was nerve racking, but fun. Looking back on that time, she showed happiness and would tell me

she was nervous or afraid or something like that, but would smile and laugh through it, so I never

saw her as being nervous or scared, and always confident of whatever she was doing and

whatever situation she found herself in. I have always wanted to be like Chizuru; able to smile

when nervous, show confidence no matter the situation, and to come from a culture that actually

has a history and a reverence for their elders and their dead and their gods. Our country is barely

250 years old and is a melting pot of every culture that, while good in many cases, does not lend

itself easily to integrating into the “American way.” What is that?

Although I try to seem confident when nervous or angry, it never seems to come off as well as

when she did it. I still admire her to this day.

5. Break A Nonverbal More. What Was the Experience? September 16, 2009

This was quite fun. I chose two nonverbal mores:

1. Invade someone’s personal space by standing too close to them.

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I did this twice, with one male and one female; one time in an elevator and one time in an office

cube. Both times, the person stepped or leaned back to attempt to gain that personal space back.

It seemed to be so unconscious on their parts; I don’t believe they were even aware of it.

The response from this more did not surprise me, at all. I have seen this done over and over and

the response (at least in the American culture) seems to be nearly always the same – they pull

away, trying to regain their personal space. When I talk to a person from an Asian culture, they

stand/sit much closer than I am usually comfortable with, as a Euro-American; that being said, as

soon as I change my own view on what is acceptable in their culture, it becomes a non-issue.

2. Make eye contact with someone and see their reaction.

Again, I did this twice; with one male and one female, both times in a walkway/hallway. I

received two different responses. The female automatically broke contact with me and looked

down at the floor. The male kept the eye contact and began a conversation with me, as we

passed each other.

The response from this one only halfway surprised me. I expected both people to look down

and/or away from me. The first one, the female, did just that. She was obviously very

uncomfortable with extended eye contact and no words being communicated. The second

person, the male, kept that eye contact and initiated a conversation as we passed each other;

nothing lengthy, just a short “Hello” and a nod. I returned the greeting. I expected the male to

look away, just as the female did. My conclusion on this, tenuous as it is with no continued

experimentation, is the males are more confident and content with extended eye contact than

females are. This would be an interesting thing to follow up on at some point in time.

6. How Women Are Treated in Language? September 16, 2009

Display Rules: n A cultures rules for what emotions can be expressed or displayed.
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By and large, I find women to be more degraded and the words used to describe feminine gender

or characteristics to be more childish than the male opposites. Several Examples include:

Male Female

Strong Weak or Fragile

Stud Bitch

Master Mistress

These words are not only used to describe the male or female in question. If you sit down and

think about it, you will see the female form is much more sinister and demeaning to the females

than it is the males.

Men are strong (usually meant to communicate able, healthy, physically and mentally sound);

Women are weak or fragile (communicating less able than her male counterpart, physically and

mentally fragile – thank you Victorian era for this).

Men are Studs (usually meant to communicate sexual prowess and ability); Women are Bitches

(a malicious, selfish and all around unpleasant woman). Not only were these used for males and

females of the human species, but in the canine species, as well (Studs are the impregnators and

Bitches are the impregnated – this could be seen as the stud holding the power over the bitch).

Men are Masters (usually meant to communicate head of household, owner of property, one

expertly skilled in a field of study or craft of some sort); Women have the term Mistress (used to

communicate female head of household in the “good old days”, but recently the word mistress is

used to show the female as one having an extramarital encounter with a man).

7. Language and Perception? September 16, 2009

Franklin Durán, Dr. Borukhova, Thomas Cholmondeley, Najibullah Zazi, Jean Pierre Rices. All

of these people have two things in common. They were all charged with a crime, and they all
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showed no emotion in the courtroom. At least, that is what the reporters say.

It has been shown in study after study that cultures where openly showing emotion is

discouraged, the focus is on the eyes of the person to see what emotion they are portraying. This

is extremely difficult in Euro-centric cultures where showing emotion openly is encouraged,

because we will say the person is emotionless or not showing any emotion, simply because their

facial characteristics are not doing what we expect them to do.

Because of this finding, my thought process has changed considerably when I hear a reporter say

that so-and-so “showed no emotion in the courtroom today,,,”. I now have to stop and ask

myself several questions:

1. Where is the suspect from?

2. Are they in/from a culture that encourages or discourages the showing of emotion?

3. Are we putting pressure on everyone else to show the same kind of emotions we show?

Even after asking these questions, there are many more that would need to be asked and many

more studies to do. Until that time, reporters are still going to make a big deal out of suspects

showing emotion, or not.

8. Are we an Experiment? September 24, 2009

The first assignment was due tonight, and I had finished it, made sure all of the requirements

were met for the formatting and look of the document, as well as all of the questions were

answered. Before class, there were several of the students milling about and talking about the

assignment; each one saying she was told something different. One said she was told there could

be no movies, another was told the content researched could not be any older than tow or three

years, another was told it could not be a drama, yet another was told it had to be a comedy series.

None of this was laid out in the assignment sheet the instructor posted on D2L. Everyone in this
Linda Marie Petersen Psychology of Women Reflections Journal PSYC 1190-60

group seemed to be in quite an uproar. It was very difficult to find ANY series at all that fit what

she wanted.

About a week ago, I sat down with the professor and explained I could not find ANY TV shows

that had an African-American family in them that were recent comedies. We sat down at the

computer in her office and she helped me find “RV” and “Are We Done Yet?". RV was made in

2006; “Are We Done Yet” was made in 2007.

These two movies met all criteria but one stated above – the one where it cannot be a movie.

This is not the first time I have heard of communication being not very good between the

professor and her students. I have, unfortunately, first hand experience (from my perception) at

it. This makes me wonder one of two things:

1. Is she just that bad at giving direction to people, or being deliberately vague to see if the

students will question her further? If the latter of the two, she should post something like

“these are the minimum requirements, see me for full details.

2. We are an experiment. The professor is using us to test some theory of her own and we

will be part of a research project for “Case Study X”, or something of the like.

Only time will tell.

9. Where Do I Want to be When I Grow Up? September 30, 2009

Chart where you would like to be in various areas of your life at various ages.

20’s: In my 20’s I knew I wanted to be a veterinary technician and went to school to make that a

reality. Once done, I realized it wasn’t really what I wanted to do and ended up leaving that

profession and taking work from temp agencies (usually doing manual labor on an assembly line,

data entry, cleaning office buildings, etc). In my late 20’s after two failed engagements, I moved

in with a girlfriend of mine, who talked me into going back to school and helped me find my
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own apartment and steady job once I was done with school. There, I met my future husband.

30’s: At the age of 30, I got married. I have had three jobs in the last eleven years, we bought a

house, have three cats, a nice little yard and a lot of debt we are paying off.

40’s: Enter the 40’s. Where life is supposed to start settling down into some kind of routine and

couples are supposed to be comfortable with who they married (right?). This is certainly not the

case in the Petersen household. I am now celebrating nine years at the same company and he is

working for a contract firm. Since I just entered my 40’s, I still have a long way to go in them.

By the time they are over, my goal is to have accomplished attaining my Associates degree, see

my stepdaughter, Megan, off to college on a full scholarship, and becoming more physically fit.

Let’s wait and see where the 50’s and 60’s take me.

What has shaped your aspirations?

I grew up in a very traditional household in a two-bedroom suburban house (mom, dad, younger

brother, one dog and one cat). I am now 41 years old, my parents are still married (and, yes, they

are the originals). As a traditional household, my father brought home the paycheck, my mom

went to work as a secretary, then she came home, took care of the house, cooked, cleaned and

found time to be in service to my father.

I still try to emulate my mother and all she accomplished, even while she was working.

10. Sex and Euphemisms November 4, 2009

What purpose do euphemisms for sex and the body parts serve in this country?

Euphemisms are most commonly used to get around verbalizing a word or idea that is considered

taboo/delicate/crude in the conversation. In addition to this, it is also a way to dehumanize those

parts of the body or acts that fall into the above categories: (i.e. a vagina is considered a pussy,
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cunt, hot box; a Penis is called a cock, dick, shaft). If we were to use the words vagina and

penis, would it truly be that bad? I do not think so. Although, we are brought up to believe sex

is not something that is talked about, so instead of talking about it, the words are used to either

make fun of or degrade it.

Why are there so many of them?

It is easier to come up with words that desensitize and dehumanize a thought, person, word, act,

etc. than it is to come to terms with that thought, person, word, act, etc. If you dehumanize

something, it is seen as less threatening and, therefore, less important.

Why do we not use the clinical or normal terms?

If people use the actual names of the things instead of euphemisms, you give power to those

things you are naming. Something that is very uncomfortable in areas that are considered taboo

for discussion.

11. What factors do you believe influences Lesbians have fewer eating disorders and less

preoccupation with weight when compared to heterosexual females. November 17, 2009

Lesbians have a better body image, in general, leading them to have less preoccupation with their

weight and, therefore, fewer eating disorders. My thought on this is because lesbians have come

to terms with who they are from very early on in their sexual and physical development.

Because of this, they are more comfortable with the way they look and are less interested in

typical female stereotypes that many young girls get caught up in when exploring their sexuality

and their physical development. This leads to comfort and a strong self-confidence and self-

worth that is not tied to the typical heterosexual belief “I need to be skinny to be beautiful, pretty

and accepted.” Add to this mix lesbians tend to be more assertive than heterosexual women,

and I believe you have a mix that defies eating, alcohol and drug abuse/disorders.
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12. Depression and the Movie Clip December 2, 2009

What symptoms does Lauren describe?

Not feeling anything, does not enjoy pleasure in anything.

What factors as described in the text, likely played a role in the development of depression?

Significant abuse in her childhood. This predicts the onset of depression.

What therapeutic tools does she report working well for her? Why do you think those

work best in her situation?

Drugs and talk therapy combination; she also became a counselor for other people who also have

depression.

13. Cultural Meanings of Alcohol December 2, 2009

What are the cultural meanings ascribed to alcohol (Specifically college-aged)?

Meanings and Myths of Alcohol among college aged people are one and the same. It is seen as

an escape, a way to mask feelings; yet it is also seen as significant (a way to be seen as popular,

pretty, important, with the “in” crowd) and as an important part of social interactions (if you

don’t drink, you can’t be one of us)

The advertisements used to get people to purchase their brand of alcohol adds to these myths and

meanings of alcohol: There is always a gorgeous female and a handsome male having the time

of their lives because of the type of alcohol they are drinking. If I was constantly told/shown

these myths that I could have that much fun with a specific brand of alcohol, why wouldn’t I buy

into it? Too many of our young people do.

14. Letter to My Body Reflection December 2, 2009

Letter to My Body: what would you be grateful for, what criticisms do you have?

Reflection, how did it help or not, what did you think of the process?
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It was an interesting process. As I have been journaling since I was young, this process did not

help me that much, nor did it give any real revelations to me. It would have been more eye-

opening had I not been doing this before. I can see where it would be useful for someone who is

either not comfortable with their bodies, not used to journaling, not used to introspection. This is

definitely a good way to get in touch with your own body, though. The inside and the outside.

15. Assertiveness Training and Disorders December 2, 2009

How would assertiveness training help individuals with these disorders (Anorexia, Bulimia,

Alcoholism and Drug Abuse)?

Assertiveness training would certainly be helpful for people with any of the above disorders. It

would assist in giving them a solid base from where to start moving forward. Assertiveness

training covers not only how you act/react in certain situations, it also includes ways to handle

those situations, as well as helpful ways to express yourself and ways to avoid conflict. This

could be conflict with a person, as well as conflict with food or drugs and alcohol. Some of

these steps include identifying your trigger scenarios for drinking, drug use, eating, purging, etc.

Also keep track of your emotional temperature during these trigger times.

By using these small suggestions from the assertiveness documents, it will start to empower the

person to change for the positive and to want to continue the change (at least, that is the best case

scenario).

16. Do you identify as a feminist? Why or why not? (Use FIDS sheet to document your

answers). December 9, 2009

If being a feminist means I agree with equal pay for equal work, the ability of women to reach

for and attain any career they desire based on their skills and abilities instead of their gender,
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recognizing males and females are able to be equal but different and that it is NOT the woman’s

fault if she is raped then I would say yes, based on that limited information. If being a feminist

means I agree with the ideas that I want to be with women who are focused on women’s issues,

always questioning the expectation that men should be masculine and women should be

feminine, wanting or needing the community of women and their support, I would disagree with

being feminist.

I am often more comfortable in the company of men than in the company of women (when in the

company of women, I feel as though I need to defend my views and lifestyle to them, as they are

very outspoken against the “male patriarchy”) and would rather have my doors opened for me,

have my gas pumped for me, not have to mow my own lawn or shovel my own driveway. I

appreciate the idea that without feminism women would not have the chance to be whatever they

want to be; however, I also would appreciate the same respect when I tell a feminist I do not

want to join their movement. The last time I did that, I was told that I would be a slave to my

husband if I did not “join them”. I would say I have some feminist views, but do not consider

myself a feminist.