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> I Hesitate to tell my DMT experience.

People will say it was just a Hallucination, that I had gone


completely out of my mind!
But to me it all seemed real, amazingly, devastingly real, although so uncanny that it fills me with
fresh astonishment every time
I recall it!

> As the drug took hold of me, my companion seemed to be growing smaller, rapidly she dwindled
to the size of a child, an infant.
At the same time, the trees, the river, the whole world began to diminish until it seemed that I,
grown gigantically large,
was looking down upon a miniture park. After a few seconds, my head was projecting above the
trees, the open sky was
above me, and I had lost sight of my companion.

> Let me try and give some idea of my sensations; my own volition played no part whatever; I
was merely the witness of scenes unraveled before me, which I had no more share in producing
than I had in creating a motion picture I saw on the screen.
But no motion picture could have been so vividly Real!

> In a sort of nightmare, I found myself rising in the air, as I rose the Earth dwindled out of all
proporation to my ascent. I saw the city below, but it seemed minute, like sections of a child's
city; and each moment it grew smaller!
> Buoyed by a force beyond myself, I kept on rising. Soon it seemed the much of the country lay
beneath me, while at incalculable speed I was reaching a height of miles! But the illusion persisted
that I, still of giant size, was looking down on a miniture Earth!

> It was the same when, after what seemed but a few seconds, the entire planet was rolling
beneath me - a sphere of light and darkness, of vari-tinted green, silver, blue and other colors I
can-not describe, like a many-colored school globe.
And it was still the same after this globe had dwindled to the size of a marble, a pea; still the same
when other planets - Mars, Jupiter, Saturn - came into view and vanished; still the same when I
seemed to be speeding into the terrible blackness of intersteller space!

> God in Heaven! I thought to myself. Am I going out of the Universe entirely? It really looked as
if this were so!
The solar system had faded to the dimensions of a cluster of fireflies; for a long while I seemed
swallowed up in the blackness of the gulf between suns. But I had the impression that my speed,
already many times that of light, was being constantly accelerated.
It is an understatement to say that I was terrified when I found myself shooting by another sun - a
double sun, with a brilliant luminary, and one pale blue, and some twinkling motes of planets
scattered between.

> Onward & onward I went, like a traveler on an express train who cannot halt at the way
stations; and it always seemed to me that the scale of the Universe was diminishing, while I was
growing larger. Eventually multi-colored suns were blazing all around me,
so near that I felt as if I could have reached out and grasped them.

> Then suns by the cluster were receding from me; whole galaxies, twisted spiral shaped, began
to form around me as I alternately plunged into unspeakable oceans of blackness and came out
into continents of blazing light. Even the Galaxies, each with their
hundreds of millions of billions of stars seemed smaller than I! And they continued to dwindle until
the heavens were flecked with island universes as the ordinary night skies with stars.

> God have mercy on my soul! I could not help thinking a prayer. Am I headed for eternal
Damnation?

> Certainly, I seemed to be among the damned. I doubt if it is possible to experience greater
terror than mine as I went traveling millions of light years into that unimaginable vastness; I
doubt if anyone could have felt more alone as some
omnipotent force kept widening the distance between me and everything familiar.

> Yet - and this was the most horrifying part of it all - it did not seem that I was actually alone!!!
It seemed as if mighty presences, unhuman and invisable, were keeping pace with my flight,
bouying me along my way, leering at me out of the unseen, using me for some inscrutable
purpose. It was this that filled me with such excess fear
that I could have screamed!

> Finally I had passed even beyond the Galaxies. I had entered a gulf of blankness - black, all-
eveloping, meaningless. In the distance the constellations each composed of myriads of Milky
Ways - dimmed and vanished. I had grown to such dimensions that I seemed larger than them all;
and yet by some diabolical irony, I was nothing at all - a mote, an atom swallowed up in an infinity
of emptiness.

> I cannot begin to reckon the ensuing events in time. My impression was that a tremendously
protracted peroid went by - hours, days, weeks, months, years... while I still had the sense of
speeding thru that monsterous vacancy, across distances
that made the whole starry Universe no more by comparison than the length of a flys wing.

> And then, when it seemed there was to be no end of this pilgrimage thru the dark, I reached the
astounding climax of my Trip!

> Once more I was startled by an awareness of light. From the faintest remote shimmering, it
expanded into a broad luminious slightly curving belt, unlike anything I had ever seen before. As I
approached the belt it expanded, until it became a sort of wall, which reached from rim to rim of
the Universe, beneath and as far above as I could see, blazing with fires of deep-red, purple,
indigo, orange, emerald and many more colors I had never before imagined - Fires so fierce that
an ordinary gaze could no have looked upon them, althou, suprisingly, they did not affect my eyes.

> And beore this great wall I halted, a mere pygmy, a dot beside it. Was this the rampart at the
edge of Ceation, the barrier that divided all that existed from non-existence? Or was it the
boundary that seperated the known Universe from something diviner,
more majestic and beautiful, more truly moulded to the hearts desire?

> Somehow I knew that it was the latter; knew beyond doubt that beyond this wall of light there
dwelt wonders past reckoning - the satisfaction of all baffled hopes, dreams, aspirations, the
paradise of the religious, the Utopia of the dreamer, the goal of the longing of poets, prophets,
lovers thru-out the ages!!! How did I know this?
It was as if some deeper voice had spoken to me in tones of crystal truth. Hence I was filled with a
passionate craving to pass that wall. And I fluttered about it moth-like, though the blades of ever-
changing colored light were as swords to keep me out!

> Have I come so far only to be turned back? I thought in despair. Let me pass, let me pass the
wall!!!

> From beyond the barrier, I thought I could hear sounds. There was a weird murmuring, a
commotion as of the swishing of great wings; there was the sounds of music, but music like no
other I had ever heard, so sweet that it made me want to listen forever.

> Let me pass, let me pass the wall! I begged, in a fever of desire. Let me pass and never return!

> But from somewhere in the emptiness a voice seemed to answer... "Not Now! Not for Ages! Not
Until You Have Ascended Above Time & Mortality!"

> Not Now? Not or Ages? I thought back in anguish. But who can ascend above time and
mortality?

> For answer there came a faint sound thru the darkness - it was a sound as of sardonic mockery,
the mockery of some unseen witness; it was joined from the distance by other sounds, low and
resonant of equal mockery... until it seemed to me that I was the target of the laughter of a
mysterious host.

> And at this I cried out in rage and yet dread of that uncanny assemblage; in responce came a
roar, which boomed with concentrated power as if from the very throat of the Universe... "Mortal,
Back to Your Mortality!"

> And suddenly I reeled and everything about me swan; the wall o light wavered, and then
seemed to topple toward me in waves of flame and sparks; and as I felt the absolute terror
sweeping over me, and struggled to avoid the fiery inundation, all at once everything went black.
the collapsing wall of light vanished, and numbness and coldness came over me.

> I opened my eyes and found myself lying on the grass, less than 10 minutes had passed!!!