Table of Contents

GETTING ATTENTION FROM PAGE 1 ................................................................................................3

WAYS TO MAKE A GOOD STORY GREAT .........................................................................................3
5 STORY MISTAKES EVEN GOOD WRITERS MAKE ......................................................................3
10 WAYS TO LAUNCH STRONG SCENES .........................................................................................4
6 WAYS TO PERFECT YOUR WRITING TONE ..............................................................................6
AREAS TO IMRPOVE IN WRITING ....................................................................................................8
HOW TO WRITE EFFECTIVE SUPPORTING CHARACTERS .........................................................11
GAINING PERSPECTIVE ON YOUR WORK ....................................................................................13
THE 5 ESSENTAIL STORY INGREDIENTS........................................................................................14
ONE SIMPLE WAY TO SHARPEN YOUR PITCH ..............................................................................16
PLOT LIKE A BESTSELLER: 8 THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ....................................................17
3 WAYS TO KNOW WHEN TO END YOUR CHAPTERS .................................................................19
HOW TO CRAFT COMPELLING CHARACTERS .............................................................................21
A Driving Need, Desire, Ambition or Goal....................................................................................21
A Secret...........................................................................................................................................21
A Contradiction...............................................................................................................................21
Vulnerability...................................................................................................................................22
10 WAYS TO START YOUR STORY BETTER
..................................................................................................................................................................23
3 SECRETS TO GREAT STORYTELLING ..........................................................................................25
HOW TO BALANCE ACTION, NARRATIVE, AND DIALOGUE IN YOUR NOVEL .....................31
THE 7 TOOLS OF DIALOGUE ............................................................................................................33
10-MINUTE FIXES TO 10 COMMON PLOT PROBLEMS ................................................................36
HOW TO WRITE INTRIGUING MALE AND FEMALE CHARACTERS .........................................41
THE 4 STORY STRUTURES THAT DOMINATE NOVELS ...............................................................43
5 STEPS TO A GREAT FEMALE PROTAGONIST .............................................................................46
MOTIVATE YOUR CHARACTERS LIKE A PRO ...............................................................................47
3 EXERCISES FOR TAPPING INSPIRATION ....................................................................................48
FROM IDEA TO PAGE IN 4 SIMPLE STEPS ......................................................................................49
TAKE YOUR NOVEL TO THE FINISH LINE .....................................................................................50
YOUR ESSENTIAL SYNOPSIS CHECKLIST ....................................................................................54
10 SYNOPSIS DOS AND DON'TS .......................................................................................................55
YOUR GUIDE TO AN EFFECTIVE NOVEL SYNOPSIS ...................................................................56
10 QUERY LETTER NO-NOS ..............................................................................................................58
BASICS OF A SOLID 3-PARAGRAPH QUERY ..................................................................................59
HOW TO CHANNEL PASSION IN YOUR WRITING.........................................................................63
7 TIPS TO LAND THE PERFECT TITLE FOR YOUR NOVEL .........................................................65
PUBLISHING 101: WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ............................................................................67
HOW TO WEAVE IN BACKSTORY TO REVEAL CHARACTER.....................................................73
11 PLOT PITFALLSAND HOW TO RESCUE YOUR STORY FROM THEM................................76
5 EASY TIPS TO STRENGTHEN YOUR SCENES .............................................................................79
FOLLOW THESE RULES FOR STRONGER WRITING.....................................................................82
MICHAEL CRICHTON'S TOP 5 WRITING LESSONS ......................................................................85
DON'T USE ADVERBS AND ADJECTIVES TO PETTIFY YOUR PROSE ......................................86
DEFINING AND DEVELOPING YOUR ANTI-HERO .......................................................................89
3 TIPS FOR WRITING SUCCESSFUL FLASHBACKS ......................................................................94
17 WRITING SECRETS ........................................................................................................................98

USING STRONG VERBS.....................................................................................................................100

BODY LANGUAGE: LIST OF MOVEMENTS..................................................................................102
DESCRIPTIVE WORDS FOR MOOD ................................................................................................107
DESCRIPTIVE WORDS FOR TOUCH AND FEEL ...........................................................................108
DESCRIPTIVE WORDS FOR SMELL ...............................................................................................109
DESCRIPTIVE WORDS FOR HEARING (SOFT SOUNDS) ............................................................110
DESCRIPTIVE WORDS FOR HEARING (LOUD SOUNDS) ...........................................................111
NEW TERMS ........................................................................................................................................112

GETTING ATTENTION FROM PAGE 1

Show the initial problem the hero has to solve. There can be small victories
along the way, but his major actions can't completely solve his ultimate problem,
because when that happens, the story is over. Typically, major actions are revealed,
and more problems occur as a result for him to solve.

WAYS TO MAKE A GOOD STORY GREAT

Use body language. It can tell things about characters or their state of mind.
Use idiosyncrasies. Don't have characters always be rational.
Don't worry about something having to be pretty. If it didn't have to look
pretty, what would you write?
Be true to your I.Q. Don't overexplain, try to sound smarter, or dumb things down.

Use your best material only when it has a purpose (when there's something
awesome you want to write, save it for when it's relevant or adapt the story around
it.)
Use wit (not necessarily humor). Unique perspectives and unexpected things or
behavior.
Make them cry. Show the build-up and emotional downfall of a character, not just
quick sad events

5 STORY MISTAKES EVEN GOOD WRITERS MAKE

1. Overdoing symbolism/themes.
2. Trying too hard. Ex: Trying to be funny or impressive. You're either something
or you're not, but don't force it.
3. Failing to anticipate readers' response. If things don't flow or events/actions
are unrealistic, they will notice that.
4. Using a hook as a gimmick. Don't try to hook readers in with some kind of
exciting scene that's really a gimmick (a dishonest trick). Ex: If you're writing a
romance story, dont start things off with action and explosions. That's the wrong
kind of hook.
5. Leaving readers hanging. Ex: Withholding information in an attempt to create
suspense. Or ending a chapter during the middle of an important scene. If you
end the chapter after the protagonist is in a car crash, readers will read on to see if
he's okay, not to read about a completely different character in another scene.
Don't create scenes that will make readers want to skip ahead of content to get to
where they want to read about.

10 WAYS TO LAUNCH STRONG SCENES

There are three main ways to launch a scene:

Action, Narrative Summary, and

Setting.

Action Launches
The sooner you start the action in a scene, the more momentum is has to carry
the reader forward. If you end up explaining an action, then you're no longer
demonstrating an action. The key to creating strong momentum is to start an
action without explaining anything. ---- The key elements of action are this:
time and momentum. It takes time to set up something (like a heist) and the
steps along the way don't just happen spontaneously. They take time. -----The lack of explanation forces readers to keep going to find out what is
happening. Action launches tend to launch a reader's physical senses. To
make an action launch:
1. Get straight to the action. Don't drag on. Ex: He ran outside the
front door. Instead of, He paused, considering he may never come
back, and ran outside the front door.
2. Hook the reader with big or surprising actions. A murder, car
crash, heart attack, kidnapping-- all these kinds of things at the launch
of a scene allows for more possibilities within it.
3. Be sure the action is true to your character. Don't have a shy
character suddenly start a fight with a stranger. Do have a brave person
go into a burning building to save someone.
4. Act first, think later. If your character is going to think in your
action opening, let the action come first, as in, Sarah slapped the
prince. His cheek turning pink, she was horrified. What have I done?
she thought.

Narrative Launches

Writers

often include narrative summaries-- such as descriptions of the

history of a place or the backstory of a character, thinking the reader will not
be patient enough to let actions and dialogue tell the story. In large doses,
narrative summaries are to scenes what voice-overs are to movies:
distractions and interruptions.
Yet a scene launch is one of the easier places to use a judicious amount of
narrative summary, so long as you don't keep the reader captive for too long.
Having too much narrative and not enough action can have a sedative effect
on the reader. A narrative approach is best used with the following

launch strategies:
5. Save time by beginning with a summary.
Sometimes, action will take up more time and space than you'd
like. A scene beginning needs to move fairly quickly and, on
occasion, summary will get the reader there faster.
6. Communicate necessary information to the reader
before the action starts. Sometimes information needs to be
given to set action in motion later in the scene.
7. Reveal a character's thoughts or intentions that cannot
be shown through actions. Sometimes, for whatever reason,
a character is unable to act or speak. So narration will be
necessary to show what they think or feel.

Setting Launches *Note: numbering mistake below

Sometimes setting details are so important to plot or character development
that it's appropriate to include visual setting at the launch of a scene. This is
often the case when placed in unusual, exotic, or challenging locations. If the
setting is going to have a dramatic impact on the characters and the plot, then
there is every reason to let it lead into the scene that it will follow.
1. (8) Engage with specific visual details. If your
character is deserted on an island, the reader needs to
know the lay of the land. Any fruit trees in sight? What
color sand? Are there rocks, shelter or wild, roaming
beasts?
2. (9) Use scenery to set the tone of the scene. If your
scene starts in a dangerous place, describe the scenery in
a language that conveys the appropriate emotions, like
fear and mystery.
3. (10) Reflect a character's feelings through setting.
If you have a sad character walking through a
neighborhood, the homes can reflect that sadness, or
maybe even the weather.

6 WAYS TO PERFECT YOUR WRITING TONE

Tone is one of the most overlooked elements in writing. It can create interest, or kill it. Tone
can mean mood, voice, style, cadence, and inflection. For now, just say that it means the
author's attitude towards his subject.
Like with talking to somebody, tone in writing determines how a reader will respond. If it's
angry, they get nervous. If it's dull, they get bored. You can detect tone problems in your own
work simply by noting where your attention wanders as you reread it. Or, better, by reading it
aloud. You wont have to search for awkward or boring partsyoull hear them.
Some problems with tone are small and can be easily fixed during revision. Others might
require a new approach to the piece as a whole.
1. Avoid a predictable treatment of your subject. In the first draft you write what
people expect you to writewhat you expect yourself to write. I wanted a car. The
tone becomes predictable. Now, during your revision, go deeper. Seek out the harder
truths. Its in the second, third, fourth draft that you say something we dont expect you
to say, something even you didnt expect you to say. When you get tired of being nice. I
wanted a car so I could drive out of my marriage. Surprise yourself, and you will
surprise your reader.
Similarly, youll want to avoid taking an overly emotional approach to an overly
emotional subject.
2. Keep the tone consistent from start to finish. Make sure your very first sentence
establishes the tone you want. You will choose different tones for different subjects. But
stay away from changing tones within a piece. One minute your making jokes about a
guy having affairs, and the next, the reader finds himself laughing at him abusing his
kid. Or shifting from a dead body in the alley, to a wife shopping for clothes at the mall.
Read your work looking for places where the tone fades or shifts. Focus your revision
there.
3. Cut Ruthlessly. If you reread a piece and decide that nothing works until the second
page, why not simply start it there? Read your work looking for places where your
engagement wanes. Boring is bad. Careful is right next to it. When it comes to tone,
dont try to fix the boring partstoss them. You cant fix boring.
Other places where deleting is necessary: Off-topic tangents, and Overemphasis on
themes. For overemphasis on themes, if you're writing fiction, don't give readers your
own interpretation of the meaning of it all. Merely provide the right details and they'll
reach their own conclusions and figure it out. Resist the urge to overtly explain-- it can
come off as condescending or redundant.

4. Let tension sustain tone. Your piece, whatever it is, should be rife with conflict.
Without obstacles, problems, you have no tension-- an essential element for sustaining
tone for the long haul.
5. Convey tone through details and descriptions. Consider the difference between
in October and under an October sky. A description of scenery, however luscious,
can tire the reader if thats all it is. Use the imagery to show us your characters mood: A
sad character will notice rotting houses and untended yards; a contented one will see
picturesque shacks and gardens in a profuse state of nature.
When adding details to enrich your writing, tone comes from being as specific as
possible. Change My husband committed suicide to My husband gassed himself in
our Passat in the Austrian Alps.
6. Learn to recognize built-in problems with tone. In these instances, to fix the tone,
you have to fix the way you think about a given subject. You have to back off, calm
down, see other points of view, maybe even take some responsibility for whatever
happened. When writing about such delicate subjects, you must not let a negative tone
take over by ascribing motives to people: You just tell what they did, and let the reader
read motive into it. You must write with forgiveness, understanding and humor. In some
ways, this can be a payoff to examining your tone as you write: You change the writing,
and the writing changes you. But if you find this is not possible with your subject, dont
be afraid to scrap a project that you discover has inherent problems with tone. Youll be
a better writer for it.

AREAS TO IMRPOVE IN WRITING

Imagery. A successful image can plug right into your readers nervous system at times
when explanation falls flat. Consider, Donna felt weak, versus, Donna was unable to
bring the spoon to her mouth. Which one makes you want to know what happens next?
Pace. Theres no need to begin scenes by laboriously explaining how characters arrived
there, or to open an article or essay with excessive setup or introduction. If you find
youve done this, chances are a more interesting way to begin follows just after what
youve written. Similarly, many writers put an empty paragraph at the end of a scene or
section.
Unity (A.K.A Callback). One method for creating a sense of unity in a piece of
writing is the use of selective repetition. A detail or remark or even just a unique word
mentioned early in your piece can be echoed later, creating a sense of wholeness through
the readers recognition of the previous mention. That recognition also imbues the
repeated element with a resonance, not unlike a coda in a musical composition. The
reader enjoys a satisfying sense of progression, of having moved from one literary
moment to another.
Reread a piece youre working on with an eye toward finding that element you could
repeat in a subtle way, and then look for a place later in the piece where you could drop
it in. If youre unsure which one would be most affective, experiment by trying several.

Effective details. The key to effective description is to realize the importance of

contradictions. The telling detail is almost always one that at first glance doesnt seem to
fit, but by its being there creates the unique whole that the object or action or person
represents.
Often, we read a description and think, If this is there, then that has to be there as well.
Many writers then think that both details must be included, but usually the opposite is
true. Provide the stronger, more typical of the two, and the other is implied; the readers
mind supplies it automatically.

Simplicity. What really matters is whether or not something is clear. Each day, as you
revise the pages from your prior writing session, take a few minutes to ask yourself, Is
this clear? Will the reader understand it? If youre not sure, revise until the answer is
yes. Dont be afraid to deal with a complex topic in a complex way, but always keep in
mind that clarity will make you the readers friend.

Tension. Tension results from two factors: resistance and ambiguity. In nearly every
piece of narrative writing, fiction or otherwise, someone is trying to achieve something.

Tension results from external or internal opposition to achievement of the goal

(resistance), or uncertainty as to the narrator or characters understanding of the situation
in which she finds herself (ambiguity), specifically its perils (psychological, emotional,
physical).
Tension is essential because it keeps readers reading. Thus, in every scene you write,
strive to heighten tension by doing one of two things: Enhancing the forces impeding
achievement of the goal, or confusing/complicating the narrator or characters
understanding of the situation.

Evoking emotion. A sequence of incidents in a story that, if arranged correctly and

dramatized vividly, will create a stimulus that compels the reader to feel the emotion the
author is trying to create. Talking about emotions wont compel a reader to feel them.
He felt sad wont make a reader feel sad. Instead, the reader must be made to feel the
situations in the story, to experience what the characters experience; as a result, just as a
sequence creates emotion in the characters, it will do the same in the reader. This is a
case of stimulus-response.
Writers can achieve this effect if they take the sense of sight for granted and emphasize
the other senses, thus crafting multidimensional descriptions and scenes. Details of sight
alone almost always create a flat effect, so when revising, take a few minutes to make
sure that each scene has at least one other sense detail. In this way, the reader becomes
immersed in the story, feeling it rather than being told about it.

Figurative language. Figurative language can enrich our writing, adding nuance and
depth, like the addition of a harmony line to a melody. The right metaphor can enlarge
our subject and offer our readers new ways of perceiving it. The risk involved, like
adding a heavy sauce to your delicately flavored meal, is that the language can distract
the reader and obscure your meaning rather than developing it. Figurative language calls
attention to itself, can easily descend to clich, and asks for the readers complicity, all
of which can break your reader's focus.
My advice, therefore, is to use figurative language sparingly, strive to make it fresh, and
understand the implications of the comparisons youre making (directly or indirectly).
Make sure its serving the piece. In creating an effective metaphor, trust your
subconscious, which makes connections our conscious minds cannot readily make.
Dont reach for the quick, easy one. Instead, take the time to plumb the depths of your
imagination. Risk a reach toward an unlikely comparison rather than a safe one. You
might be surprised at one you find, and your reader will be delighted.

Objectivity. The perils of subjectivity arise largely from overidentifying with a subject,
narrator or character in a narrative, and making it (or him or her) the vehicle for a
thematic point in which the author himself is overly invested.

If you find yourself overidentifying with a topic or character, try to identify within the

sympathetic subject, narrator or even oneself a trait or belief or habit that is repellent or
inexcusable or just plain odd. In doing so, youll enhance the psychological or moral
distance between yourself and the object of familiarity or allegiance.
Another possible strategy is to rewrite the scene or section from the point of view of
someone other than the object of sympathy. This forced disconnect can achieve a similar
effect.

Language. Think of your writing as a windshield. Ill-suited words can streak and cloud
your readers view, and just-right language can be as clarifying as a high-powered
carwash. Once you have a solid draft, its time to consider:

Could a different word bring even more energy or resonance to a poignant moment
through sound, subtleties of meaning, or syllabic rhythm?

Could the setting be conveyed more vividly? Is the natural world palpable?
Is the emotional tone consistently resonant? Are there neutral words or passages that
could be more charged?

Does the language powerfully enact the action?

As you polish and prune, each piece of writing will teach you something new about
what is possible. Let yourself be surprised.

Style. Writers sometimes speak of style as if it were an ingredient to be added to their

story or poem or memoir. Instead, style is the thing itself. E.B. White said it best,
writing, Style takes its final shape more from attitudes of mind than from principles of
composition, for, as an elderly practitioner once remarked, Writing is an act of faith, not
a trick of grammar. The key, then, to developing ones style is to write, as White states,
in a way that comes naturally.
One key to accomplishing that is to think about style not so much as a matter of
addition, but subtractioncasting off feelings of awkwardness and self-consciousness,
affectation and pretension. Focus on presenting your piece clearly, in a way that
connects with readers.

HOW TO WRITE EFFECTIVE SUPPORTING

CHARACTERS
Balancing

character traits. This holds to the old opposites attract. Ex: An

impulsive person needs someone with a rational approach. A mercenary (a fighter)

needs an informant (a thinker). Have characters that show sides you won't find in
your main characters. They balance each other out.
Tormenting your hero. Not a villain, but someone who gets in your way (An
adversary). A character your protagonist disagrees with, deliberately becomes an
obstacle to them, or is difficult to be around. Ex: Good cop and bad cop. Killers and
pacifists. An assassin may disagree with a soldier's way of fighting. We both kill
targets we never personally choose for reasons we're not privy to. The difference is I
get paid. It's a chance to show conflict.
Fleshing out the supporting cast. A supporting character can be anyone in your
protagonist's life. Anyone. Supporting characters can get wrapped up in your
protagonist's problems, end up in serious trouble, or have small stories of their own.
They give your character life, but also come with responsibilities sometimes. Ex:
lovers and dangers of relationships, kids and raising them, and so on. They also
always have to play a role in the story. They can start out as stereotypes like the
nagging wife or the drunk bum, but can become more evolved and unexpected
throughout the story. Two key things: don't let them hog the spotlight, and don' make
them bland and boring.
Naming supporting characters. It can be hard to remember everyone, so ways to
keep it easy are nicknames. Those can be based off behavior, appearance and so
forth. Don't use dull names like John Doe. Avoid strangely exotic names too. Vary
the number of syllables in names, and make the names between different characters
start with different letters.
Introducing minor characters. Minor characters make an impression when they
arrive, it's just nothing real dramatic. What they do is what really counts and makes
you remember them. But keep in mind that a minor role is no place for complexity.
Don't give minor characters a lot of mystery to them, or readers will expect a further
explanation later.
Adding authenticity. Any world in a story will be full of walk-on characters. Your
protagonist walks down a street, you need pedestrians. Restaurant? Customers eating
there. But don't get too carried away with describing them. They shouldn't need more
than one or two sentences and then you move on with the rest of the story. They don't
need names, and choose details that can be a sort of small commentary on their
environment. Ex: In a neighborhood, the people are dressed in rags. You enter
someone's home and everyone's in suits and dresses. Maybe in a hospital, a doctor is
wearing shades or has a scar. This way, walk-ons remain as much elements of setting

as well as characters-- and this setting will help make it easier for the protagonist and
other supporting characters to stand out.

GAINING PERSPECTIVE ON YOUR WORK

Revision means to see anew, or to visit again. Sometimes we need to take a break from our
work before making the best assesment. It's not understood why, but taking a break does help
our minds better sort things out. It's like sharpening the saw. We can keep sawing with a
blade that's only getting duller, or we can take five and sharpen it, so it will be more effective
the next time we use it.
The amount of time needed for a break can be hours, days, or weeks. However long it takes to
gain new persepctive. And remember, perspective is vital to the revision process and to
improve as a writer.

THE 5 ESSENTAIL STORY INGREDIENTS

The secret to writing a story that draws readers in and keeps them turning pages is not to make
more and more things happen to a character. Instead, the key to writing better stories is to focus
on creating more and more tension as your story unfolds.

Orientation. The beginning of a story must grab the readers attention, orient her to
the setting, mood and tone of the story, and introduce her to a protagonist she will care
about, even worry about, and emotionally invest time and attention into. If readers dont
care about your protagonist, they wont care about your story, either.
So, whats the best way to introduce this all-important character? In essence, you want
to set reader expectations and reveal a portrait of the main character by giving readers a
glimpse of her normal life.
Note that normal life doesnt mean pain-free life.

Crysis. This crisis that tips your characters world upside down must, of course, be one
that your protagonist cannot immediately solve. Its an unavoidable, irrevocable
challenge that sets the movement of the story into motion.
There are two primary ways to introduce a crisis into your story. Either begin the story
by letting your character have what he desires most and then ripping it away, or by
denying him what he desires most and then dangling it in front of him. So, hell either
lose something vital and spend the story trying to regain it, or hell see something
desirable and spend the story trying to obtain it.
It all has to do with what the main character desires, and what he wishes to avoid.

Escalation. Always in a story, your main character needs to be a person that changes
due to new situations. When you throw him into the crisis of the story, he is forever
changed, and he will take whatever steps he can to try and solve his strugglethat is, to
get back to his original life before the crisis But he will fail. Because hell always be a
different person at the end of the story than he was at the beginning. If hes not, readers
wont be satisfied.
First, stop thinking of plot in terms of what happens in your story. Rather, think of it as

payoff for the promises youve made early in the story. Plot is the journey toward
transformation.
Usually if a reader says shes bored or that nothings happening in the story, she
doesnt necessarily mean that events arent occurring, but rather that she doesnt see the
protagonist taking natural, logical steps to try and solve his struggle. During the
escalation stage of your story, let your character take steps to try and resolve the two
crises (internal and external) and get back to the way things were earlier, before his
world was tipped upside down.

Discovery.

At the climax of the story, the protagonist will make a discovery that
changes his life.
Typically, this discovery will be made through wit (as the character cleverly pieces
together clues from earlier in the story) or grit (as the character shows extraordinary
perseverance or tenacity) to overcome the crisis event (or meet the calling) hes been
given.
The internal discovery and the external resolution help reshape the protagonist's life and
circumstances forever.
The protagonists discovery must come from a choice that she makes, not simply by
chance or from a Wise Answer-Giver. While mentors might guide a character toward
self-discovery, the decisions and courage that determine the outcome of the story must
come from the protagonist.
In one of the paradoxes of storytelling, the reader wants to predict how the story will end
(or how it will get to the end), but he wants to be wrong. So, the resolution of the story
will be most satisfying when it ends in a way that is both inevitable and unexpected.

Change.

Your character will either be transformed into someone more mature,

insightful or at peace, or will plunge into death or despair. Either way, the character will
never be the same by the end of the story as compared to the beginning. This change
marks the resolution of the crisis and the culmination of the story.
As a result of facing the struggle and making this new discovery, the character will move
to a new normal. The characters actions or attitude at the storys end show us how shes
changed from the storys inception.

ONE SIMPLE WAY TO SHARPEN YOUR PITCH

Even though its only a few lines, a pitch should explain who is trying to do what and why.
Remember, the initial pitch is only the bait to hook the agents, make them want to hear more. A
good pitch gets them leaning forward and listening, even at the end of the afternoon. A not-sogood pitch, well, they may tune out the rest of what you have to say even if you have a great
idea for a book.
A way to help this is to make your pitch character driven in the same way your book will be.
Example:
NOT: A burning skyscraper threatens the lives of thousands, including a pregnant woman
trapped on the top floor.
INSTEAD: A former firefighter, fired for insubordination, races to save the lives of thousands
of people in a burning skyscraper, including his pregnant wife.
See what Im getting at here? Lets try another.
NOT: High-school students turned zombies seek vengeance on the town officials who closed
their school for budget reasons.
INSTEAD: A high-school prom queen and the bad boy she secretly loves lead their friendsturned-zombies in a battle to get their school reopened.
And one more:
NOT: A man falsely imprisoned on death row will die at dawn if the governor doesnt pardon
him.
INSTEAD: An intrepid reporter has only 24 hours to save the innocent man shes fallen in
love with from execution.
In each case, we know who the hero is and what their quest is. You have not only told the agent
what your book is about, you have engaged him or her emotionally in the action. Do that, and
your pitch will be a winner.

PLOT LIKE A BESTSELLER: 8 THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW

1. Plot is the writers choice of events to tell the story of the characters progression toward the
goal or desire. Bernhardt notes that youre not just plotting a sequence of eventsyoure
plotting a journey. Your character will travel from one end of something to the other.
2. The plot must be right for the characterand vice versa.
So pair them accordingly. Dont force it.
3. The plot is composed of a series of conflicts.
Bernhardt says every scene should have event, change, and conflict. And, If every scene
doesnt have some kind of conflict in it, take it out. He notes that each scene doesnt
necessarily need to contain a bomb, and that sometimes the conflict is smallbut its no less
essential that conflict occurs, and something changes for your character as a result of it.
A person is defined by the choices they make, and never more so than when the pressure is on,
as it typically tends to be in thrillers, he says.
However, he warns not to just throw in big action scenes to create conflictshootouts are
meaningless if readers dont care about the people doing the shooting.
4. The protagonist should fail many times before succeeding.
Bernhardt asked the audience which Star Wars film is better: The Empire Strikes Back, or
Return of the Jedi? The results were unanimous: The Empire Strikes Back. Why? Everything
goes wrong for the protagonists, and that builds conflict. Thats what really grips the reader,
he says.
5. The protagonists story is only as interesting as the antagonist makes it.
Simply put, Bernhardt says a solid hero mixed with a weak villain doesnt make for a good
read. He notes that conflict spawns from characters who have opposing goalsand not only
should your protagonist have a goal or desire, but your antagonist should, too. The bad guy
may think hes the good guy.
6. Readers like to be surprised.
So twist it up. Bearnhardt says readers will take note of your clevernessand then theyll tell
their friends about the book, and thats the best type of advertising you can get: Word of
mouth is critical.
7. Readers hate coincidence.
Sure, the real world has its fair share of coincidences. But Bernhardt says readers hate
coincidences in bookstheyre too convenient, and reflect poorly on your prose.
8. Conflict can be inner, personal or external.
Bernhardt says this is the place where you can elevate your book from the amateur to the
professional. Layer the conflict in beyond basic motivations of good guy, bad guy. Combine all

three types of conflictinner, personal and externaland then youve got something thats
really rich.

3 WAYS TO KNOW WHEN TO END YOUR CHAPTERS

At some point in writing your novel, you have to start thinking about chaptering, the process
of deciding exactly when and where your chapter breaks will go.
Thoughtful chaptering is more important than ever. By starting and ending in the right places,
your chapter breaks alone can serve the powerful function of building suspense and keeping
your readers reading. Unlike sentences or paragraphs, which have rules, chapters are artistic
decisions; there are no rules. Here are three simple, essential techniques that can help you make
effective chapter pauses.

1. Focus on the writing first. In deciding where to insert their breaks, some writers make
chaptering part of their initial outline, but I find this method constrictive. In my experience, the
most effective chapter breaks are born by writing first, and evaluating the structure second.
(Note: this was copy-n-paste so this isn't my experience being talked about)

2. Break chapters when your story requires a shift. A chapter break like this underscores
the fact that theres been a significant change of some kindof place, of perspective, of point
of view, of plot direction. It jogs your readers mind, telling him that its time for a
reorientation, a retaking of his bearings. It can also refresh your readers eye after a long
interval in one setting or situation. These chapter breaks lend continuity and pacingboth of
which are essential for balancing suspenseto your story.

3. Break chapters in the heart of the action. A good rule of thumb: Ask yourself, How
can I end this part so that the sleepy reader is compelled to keep the light on, if only to see how
some crisis turns out or how some crucial question is answered?
When shooting for this cant-put-the-book-down effect, theres one principle thats as close to a
surefire technique as can be: the good old cliffhanger.
Effective as it is, there are a couple of caveats: First, you dont want to end every chapter this
way, or even most of them. It becomes predictable, which is something you dont ever want
anybody to say about your novel. After a while, this tactic loses its punch. Suspension of
disbelief can go just so far. Second, for the technique to be most effective, it needs to be an
integral part of the overall story, not a gratuitous invention inserted just for effect.
Also, note that a cliffhanger ending to a chapter doesnt have to be an action scene. As long as
it leaves the reader hanging, youre in business.
Example:

(End of chapter:)
Nans normally rosy face was the color of putty. Theres something I need to tell you. Her
eyes were fixed on the floor. Something you dont know about me. (Beginning of next
chapter:)
It had all started, she said, tight-lipped, when her mothers brother moved in. Shed been 12

Use techniques like these to keep that novel curtain drawn tight during intermission, and you
can rest assured your sleepy reader will be fighting to keep his eyes open all night, page by
page, chapter by chapter, book by book.

HOW TO CRAFT COMPELLING CHARACTERS

Characteristics of Compelling Characters.
The most compelling characters are those who appear internally consistent and yet are capable
of surprise. The art of crafting such fully realized characters can be boiled down to four crucial
elements: a driving need, desire, ambition or goal; a secret; a contradiction; and vulnerability.

A Driving Need, Desire, Ambition or Goal

The fundamental truth to characterization is that characters must want something, and the
stronger the want, the more compelling the resulting drama. This is because desire intrinsically
creates conflict, the primordial goo in which character is formed.
By giving the character a deep-seated need or want, you can automatically create conflict, for
the world is not designed to answer our desires as easily as we might hope.

A Secret
For your character, a secret is that inclination or trait (such as a psychological disposition to
dishonesty, violence, sexual excess, or the abuse of alcohol or drugs, to name a few) or an
incident from the past that, if revealed, would change forever the characters standing in her
world, among co-workers, neighbors, friends, family, lovers. Secrets inform us of what our
characters have to lose, and why.

A Contradiction
We all know people who are both shy and rude, cruel but funny, bigoted but protective. This
complexity, which seems to particularly manifest itself during times of stress or conflict, is
what can make a person inherently unpredictable, setting the stage for the kind of surprising
behavior that can keep readers enthralled, wondering what might happen next.
Our senses and minds are tuned to focus on irregularitiesthe thing that doesnt quite fit,
doesnt make sense, or is simply changing. This is an evolutionarily adaptive trait; it helps in
analyzing the environment for threats. But it also attunes us to whatever is unusual in what we
perceive; contradictions reveal what we couldnt predict, the enigma, the surprise.

Vulnerability
Nothing draws us into a character more than her vulnerability. When people appear wounded or
in need of our help, we are instantly drawn to themits a basic human reflex. We may also
sometimes be repelled or frightened, but either way, the fact of the matter is that injury to
another person instantly triggers a strong response.
Obviously, vulnerability may be the result of the characters secret: He is afraid of being found
out. Or it may come from the intensity of his need or wantbecause, as we all know, desire
can render us naked in a fundamental way. For your character, the ambition and focus inherent
in a strong desire can imply some form of inner strength, while at the same time rendering the
character vulnerable to being deprived of what he most wants.

10 WAYS TO START YOUR STORY BETTER

In writing, initial reactions matter. You don't get a second chance to make a first impression.
Many agents, if not impressed, will stop reading after a sentence or two.Never forget that the
entire course of a story or novel, like an avalanche, is largely defined within its first seconds.
To craft a compelling story, you must first launch it in the right direction.

1. Build Momentum. An opening line should have a distinctive voice, a point of view, a
rudimentary plot and some hint of characterization. By the end of the first paragraph, we should
also know the setting and conflict, unless there is a particular reason to withhold this
information.
This doesn't mean to make complex openings. Simplicity will work. A successful opening line
raises multiple questions, but not an infinite number. In other words, it carries momentum.

2. Resist the Urge to Start too Early. You might be tempted to begin your narrative before
the action actually starts, such as when a character wakes up to what will eventually be a
challenging or dramatic day. Better to begin at the first moment of large-scale conflict.
If the protagonists early-morning rituals are essential to the story line, or merely entertaining,
they can always be included in backstory or flashbacksor later, when he wakes up for a
second time.

3. Remember that Small Hooks Catch More Fish than Big Ones. Many writers are
taught that the more unusual or extreme their opening line, the more likely they are to hook
the reader. But what were not taught is that such large hooks also have the power to easily
disappoint readers if the subsequent narrative doesnt measure up. If you begin writing at the
most dramatic or tense moment in your story, you have nowhere to go but downhill. Similarly,
if your hook is extremely strange or misleading, you might have trouble living up to its odd
expectations.

4. Open at a Distance and Close In. In modern cinema, films commonly begin with the
camera focused close up on an object and then draw back panoramically, often to revelatory
effect, such as when what appears to be a nude form is actually revealed to be a piece of fruit.
This technique rarely works in prose. Most readers prefer to be grounded in context and then
to focus in. Open your story accordingly.

5. Avoid Getting Ahead of your Reader. One of the easiest pitfalls in starting a story is to

begin with an opening line that is confusing upon first reading, but that makes perfect sense
once the reader learns additional information later in the story. The problem is that few readers,
if confused, will ever make it that far. This is not to say that you cant include information in
your opening that acquires additional meaning once the reader learns more. That technique is
often a highly rewarding tool. But the opening should make sense on both levelswith and
without knowledge the reader will acquire later.

6. Start with a Minor Mystery. While you dont want to confuse your readers, presenting
them with a puzzle can be highly effectiveparticularly if the narrator is also puzzled. This has
the instant effect of making the reader and narrator partners in crime. An unanswered question
can even encompass an entire novel.

7. Keep Talk to a Minimum. If you feel compelled to begin a story with dialogue, keep in
mind that youre thrusting your readers directly into a maelstrom in which its easy to lose
them. One possible way around this is to begin with a single line of dialogue and then to draw
back and to offer additional context before proceeding with the rest of the conversationa rare
instance in which starting close up and then providing a panorama sometimes works. But long
sequences of dialogue at the outset of a story usually prove difficult to follow.

8. Be Mindful of what Works. As with any other aspect of writing, openings are their own
distinct art formand exposure to the masterwork of others is one of the best ways to learn.

9. When in Doubt, Test Other Options. Writers are often advised to make a short list of
titles and try them out on friends and family. Try doing the same with opening sentences. An
opening line, like a title, sometimes seems truly perfectuntil you come up with several even
better choices.

10. Revist the Beginning Once You Reach the End. Sometimes a story evolves so
significantly during the writing process that an opening line, no matter how brilliant, no longer
applies to the story that follows. The only way to know this is to reconsider the opening
sentence, like the title, once the final draft of the story is complete. Often a new opening is
called for. That doesnt mean your first opening needs to be scrapped entirely; instead, file it
away for use in a future project.
Needless to say, a brilliant opening line cannot salvage a story that lacks other merits, nor will
your story be accepted for publication based on the opening alone. But in a literary
environment where journals and publishing houses receive large quantities of submissions, a
distinctive opening line can help define a piece.

3 SECRETS TO GREAT STORYTELLING

As a novelist and writing instructor, Ive noticed that three of the most vital aspects of story
craft are left out of many writing books and workshops. Even bestselling novelists stumble over
them.
But theyre not difficult to grasp. In fact, theyre easy.
And if you master these simple principles for shaping great stories, your writing will be transformed
forever. Honest. Heres how to do it.

Secret #1:
Cause and Effect are King
Everything in a story must be caused by the action or event that precedes it.
As a fiction writer, you want your reader to always be emotionally present in the story. But
when readers are forced to guess why something happened (or didnt happen), even for just a
split second, it causes them to intellectually disengage and distances them from the story.
Rather than remaining present alongside the characters, theyll begin to analyze or question the
progression of the plot. And you definitely dont want that.
When a reader tells you that he couldnt put a book down, often its because everything in the
story followed logically. Stories that move forward naturally, cause to effect, keep the reader
engrossed and flipping pages. If you fail to do this, it can confuse readers, kill the pace and
telegraph your weaknesses as a writer.
Lets say youre writing a thriller and the protagonist is at home alone. You might write:
With trembling fingers she locked the door. She knew the killer was on the other side.
But, no. You wouldnt write it like that.
Because if you did, you would fracture, just for a moment, the readers emotional engagement
with the story as he wonders, Why did she reach out and lock the door? Then he reads on. Oh, I
get it, the killer is on the other side.
If you find that one sentence is serving to explain what happened in the sentence that preceded
it, you can usually improve the writing by reversing the order so that you render rather than
explain the action.
Its stronger to write the scene like this:
The killer was on the other side of the door. She reached out with a trembling hand to lock it.
CAUSE: The killer is on the other side of the door.
EFFECT: She locks it.

Think about it this way: If youve written a scene in which you could theoretically connect the
events with the word because, then you can typically improve the scene by structuring it so
that you could instead connect the events with the word so.
Take the example about the woman being chased by the killer:
She locked the door because she knew the killer was on the other side.
If written in this order, the sentence moves from effect to cause. However:
She knew the killer was on the other side of the door, so she locked it.
Here, the stimulus leads naturally to her response.
Of course, most of the time we leave out the words because and so, and these are very
simplified examplesbut you get the idea.
Remember in rendering more complex scenes that realizations and discoveries happen after
actions, not before them. Rather than telling us what a character realizes and then telling us
why she realizes itas in, She finally understood who the killer was when she read the
letterwrite it this way: When she read the letter, she finally understood who the killer was.
Always build on what has been said or done, rather than laying the foundation after the idea is
built. Continually move the story forward, rather than forcing yourself to flip backward to give
the reason something occurred.
One last example:
Greg sat bored in the writers workshop. He began to doodle. Hed heard all this stuff before.
Suddenly he gulped and stared around the room, embarrassed, when the teacher called on him
to explain cause and effect structure.
This paragraph is a mess. As it stands, at least seven events occur, and none are in their logical
order. Here is the order in which they actually happened:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.

Greg sits in the workshop

He realizes he's heard all this before
Boredom ensues
Doddling ensues
Greg gets called on
Embarrassment ensues
He gulps and stares around the room

Each event causes the one that follows it.

Your writing will be more effective if you show us whats happening as it happens rather than
explain to us what just happened.
With all of that said, there are three exceptions, three times when you can move from effect to

cause without shattering the spell of your story.

First, in chapter or section breaks. For example, you might begin a section by writing:
How could you do this to me? she screamed.
Immediately, the reader will be curious who is screaming, at whom she is screaming, and why.
This would make a good hook, so its fine (good, even!) to start that way. If this same sentence
appeared in the middle of a scene in progress, though, it would be wiser to move from cause to
effect:
He told her he was in love with another woman.
How could you do this to me? she screamed.
The second exception is when one action causes two or more simultaneous reactions. In the
paragraph about Greg, he gulps and looks around the room. Because his embarrassment causes
him to respond by both gulping and looking around, the order in which you tell the reader he
did them could go either way.
And the final exception is when you write a scene in which your character shows his prowess
by deducing something the reader hasnt yet concluded. Think of Sherlock Holmes staring at
the back of an envelope, cleaning out the drainpipe and then brushing off a nearby stick of
wood and announcing that hes solved the case. The reader is saying, Huh? How did he do
that? Our curiosity is sparked, and later when he explains his deductive process, we see that
everything followed logically from the preceding events.

Secret#2:
If it's not Believable, it Doesn't Belong
The narrative world is also shattered when an action, even if its impossible,
becomes unbelievable.
In writing circles its common to speak about the suspension of disbelief, but that phrase
bothers me because it seems to imply that the reader approaches the story wanting to disbelieve
and that she needs to somehow set that attitude aside in order to engage with the story. But
precisely the opposite is true. Readers approach stories wanting to believe them. Readers have
both the intention and desire to enter a story in which everything that happens, within the
narrative world that governs that story, is believable. As writers, then, our goal isnt to convince
the reader to suspend her disbelief, but rather to give her what she wants by continually
sustaining her belief in the story.
The distinction isnt just a matter of semantics; its a matter of understanding the mindset and
expectations of your readers. Readers want to immerse themselves in deep belief. We need to
respect them enough to keep that belief alive throughout the story.
Lets say you create a world in which gravity doesnt exist. OK, if you bring the world to life
on the page and through your characters, the reader will accept thatbut now shell want you
to be consistent. As soon as someones hair doesnt float above or around her head, or someone

is able to drink a cup of coffee without the liquid floating away, the consistency of that world is
shattered. The reader will begin to either lose interest and eventually stop reading, or will
disengage from the story and begin to look for more inconsistenciesneither of which you
want her to do.
All else being equal, as soon as readers stop believing your story, theyll stop caring about your
story. And readers stop believing stories when characters act inexplicably.
When Im shaping a story, I continually ask myself, What would this character naturally do in
this situation?
And then I let him do it.
Always.
Why?
Because the reader, whether hes conscious of it or not, is asking the same question: What
would this character naturally do?
As soon as characters act in ways that arent believable, either in reference to their
characterizations or to the storys progression, the reader loses faith in the writers ability to tell
that story.
In a scene in my first novel, The Pawn, my protagonist is interviewing the governor of North
Carolina, and the governor is responding oddly. Now, if my hero, whos supposed to be one of
the best investigators in the world, doesnt notice and respond to the governors inexplicable
behavior, the reader will be thinking, Whats wrong with this Bowers guy? Theres obviously
something strange going on here. Why doesnt he notice? Hes a moron.
So, I had Bowers think, Something wasnt clicking. Something wasnt right.
Then the reader will agree, Ah, good! I thought so. OK, now lets find out whats going on here.
Rather than drive the reader away from identifying with the protagonist, this was a way of
drawing the reader deeper into the story.
So when something thats unbelievable or odd happens, dont be afraid to let your character
notice and respond: I never expected her to say that, What? That just doesnt make sense,
or, Obviously theres more going on here than I thought when I first found the necklace.
If a character acts in an unbelievable way, youll need to give the reader a reason whyand itd
better be a good one. Remember: Always give the reader what he wants, or something better. If
you dont give the reader what he wants (believability), you must satisfy him with a twist or a
moment of story escalation that satisfies him more than he ever expected.

Secret#3:
It's All About Escalation
At the heart of story is tension, and at the heart of tension is unmet desire. At its core, a story is
about a character who wants something but cannot get it. As soon as he gets it, the story is over.

So, when you resolve a problem, it must always be within the context of an even greater plot
escalation.
As part of the novel-writing intensives that I teach, I review and critique participants
manuscripts. Often I find that aspiring authors have listened to the advice of so many writing
books and included an engaging hook at the beginning of their story. This is usually a good
idea; however, all too often the writer is then forced to spend the following pages dumping in
background to explain the context of the hook.
Not a good idea.
Because youve killed escalation.
This is also why dream sequences typically dont workthe protagonist thinks shes in a
terrible mess, then wakes up and realizes none of it was real.
So, things werent really that bad after all.
Thats the opposite of escalationand the death of the forward movement of the story.
Tension drives a story forward. When tension is resolved, the momentum of the story is lost.
Ive heard writing instructors differentiate between character-driven and plot-driven
stories, but the truth is that neither character nor plot really drives a story forwardonly unmet
desire does.
You might include page after page of interesting information about your character, but that
wont move the story along; itll cause it to stall out. Until we know what the character wants,
we dont know what the story is about, and we wont be able to worry or care about whether or
not the characters desires are eventually met.
Somewhat similarly, plot is simply the casually related series of events that the character
experiences as he moves through a crisis or calling into a changed or transformed life. So you
might include chase scene after chase scene, but eventually the reader couldnt care less that
one car is following another down the street. Until we know what the stakes are, we dont care.
A story isnt driven forward by events happening, but by tension escalating.
All stories are tension-driven stories.
Now, to create depth in your characters, typically youll have two struggles that play off each
other to deepen the tension of the story. The characters external struggle is a problem that
needs to be solved; her internal struggle is a question that needs to be answered. The interplay
of these two struggles is complementary until, at the climax, the resolution of one gives the
protagonist the skills, insights or wherewithal to resolve the other.
To some extent the genre in which you write will have expectations and conventions thatll
dictate the precedence of the internal or external struggle in your story. However, readers today
are very astute and narratively aware. If you intend to write commercially marketable fiction,
youll need to include both an internal struggle that helps us empathize with the protagonist,
and an external struggle that helps drive the movement of the story toward its exciting climax.
So, as you shape your novel, ask yourself, How can I make things worse? Always look for
ways to drive the protagonist deeper and deeper into an impossible situation (emotionally,
physically or relationally) that you then eventually resolve in a way that is both surprising and

satisfying to the reader.

The story needs to progress toward more and more conflict, with more intimate struggles and
deeper tension.
The plot must always thicken; it must never thin. Because of that, repetition is the enemy of
escalation. Every murder you include decreases the impact that each subsequent murder will
have on the reader. Every explosion, prayer, conversion, sex scene means less and less to the
reader, simply because repetition, by its very nature, serves to work against that escalation your
story so desperately needs.
Strive, instead, to continually make things worse for the protagonist. In doing so, youll make
them better and better for the reader.
All three of these storytelling secrets are interwoven. When every event is naturally caused by
the one that precedes it, the story makes sense. As characters act in ways that are credible and
convincing in the quest for their goals, the story remains believable, and the deepening tension
and struggles keep the reader caring about whats happening as well as interested in whats
going to happen next.
By consistently driving your story forward through action that follows naturally, characters
who act believably, and tension that mounts exponentially, youll keep readers flipping pages
and panting for more of your work.

HOW TO BALANCE ACTION, NARRATIVE,

AND DIALOGUE IN YOUR NOVEL
Most of the time, we want to balance our scenes using three elements of fiction: dialogue,
action and narrative. This is one reason you want to put your character in a scene with other
characters as often as possible. Scenes that weave together these three elements engage the
reader at an emotional level much more effectively than scenes that are only dialogue, only
narrative or only action.

Keeping Talk in the Foreground. Knowing when to only focus on one element is as
important as learning to weave them all together. Is it ever a good thing to create a scene with
only dialogue? Only narrative? Only action?
If you want to highlight a particular character trait in your viewpoint character or focus on
something specific that the characters are talking about, you dont want the scene cluttered, the
reader distracted or the pace slowed by action or narrative. You know how sometimes when
someone is telling you a story, the setting, the other people around you, everything just kind of
fades away, and youre intent only on what the other person is saying? This is what its like
when you cut away action and narrative and leave only your characters spoken words.

Pacing Your Scenes. Pacing is probably the most common fiction element to pay attention to
when considering when and when not to weave dialogue, narrative and action. If youre
creating a fast-paced conflict scene between two or more people, you might do well to consider
only dialogue, at least for parts of it.
Narrative explains, and dialogue blurts out. It can take the protagonist pages to tell us
something in narrative, whereas a scene of dialogue can quickly show us through that
characters own words said out loud.
Similar reasoning applies when writing scenes with only narrative or only action. You want to
focus on something in your characters mind or describe something that would only sound
contrived in dialogue, so you use straight narrative. Or the action needs to drive the scene
forward because its intense and emotional, and your characters just wouldnt be talking during
this time.

Striking Balance. There are no hard-and-fast rules about when and when not to blend
dialogue, action and narrative. To weave them together well is to find your storys rhythm. But
there are a few questions you can ask yourself about your story, especially in the rewrite stage,
that can help you know which elements are most effective for a particular scene, and which
might be better used elsewhere.
Is the story moving a little too slowly, and do I need to speed things up? (Use dialogue.)

Is it time to give the reader some background on the characters so theyre more
sympathetic? (Use narrative, dialogue or a combination of the two.)
Do I have too many dialogue scenes in a row? (Use action or narrative.)
Are my characters constantly confiding in others about things they should only be
pondering in their minds? (Use narrative.)
Likewise, are my characters alone in their heads when my characters in conversation
would be more effective and lively? (Use dialogue.)
Is my story top-heavy in any way at alltoo much dialogue, too much narrative or too
much action? (Insert more of the elements that are missing.)
Are my characters providing too many background details as theyre talking to each
other? (Use narrative.)

Whether were using dialogue, action or narrative to move the story forward, any or all three of
these elements are doing double duty by revealing our characters motives. Your storys
dialogue can reveal motive in a way thats natural and authentic, because whether were aware
of it or not, we reveal our own motives all the time in our everyday lives.
And to understand a characters motive is to understand the character.
You want every word to be compelling, to be gripping, and to move the story forward. If it's
not, you have to find a way that it does. No word should be wasted.

THE 7 TOOLS OF DIALOGUE

We can usually sense when dialogue needs work. What fiction writers often lack is a defined
set of tools they can put to use on problem areas. Like fixing a car, with the right set of tools,
oyu can keep working at whatever's wrong until it's fixed.

1. Let it Flow. When you write the first draft of a scene, let the dialogue flow. This technique
will allow you to come up with lines you never would have thought of if you tried to get it right
the first time.
In fact, you can often come up with a dynamic scene by writing the dialogue first. Record what
your characters are arguing about, stewing over, revealing. Write it all as fast as you can. As
you do, pay no attention to attributions (who said what). Just write the lines.
Once you get these on the page, you will have a good idea of what the scene is all about. And it
may be something different than you anticipated, which is good. Now you can go back and
write the narrative that goes with the scene, and the normal speaker attributions and tags.

2. Act it Out. Improvisational work can be a tremendous exercise for learning to write
dialogue.
Make up a scene between two characters in conflict. Then start an argument. Go back and
forth, changing your actual physical location. Allow a slight pause as you switch, giving
yourself time to come up with a response in each characters voice.
Another twist on this technique: Do a scene between two well-known actors. Use the entire
history of movies and television.

3. Sidestep the Obvious. One of the most common mistakes aspiring writers make with
dialogue is creating a simple back-and-forth exchange. Each line responds directly to the
previous line, often repeating a word or phrase (an echo). It looks something like this:
Hello, Mary.
Hi, Sylvia.
My, thats a wonderful outfit youre wearing.
Outfit? You mean this old thing?
Old thing! It looks practically new.
Its not new, but thank you for saying so.

This sort of dialogue is on the nose. There are no surprises, and the reader drifts along with

little interest. While some direct response is fine, your dialogue will be stronger if you sidestep
the obvious:
Hello, Mary.
Sylvia. I didnt see you.
My, thats a wonderful outfit youre wearing.
I need a drink.

I dont really know what is going on in this scene (incidentally, Ive written only these four
lines of dialogue). But I think youll agree this exchange is immediately more interesting and
suggestive of currents beneath the surface than the first example. I might even find the seeds of
an entire story here.
You can also sidestep with a question:
Hello, Mary.
Sylvia, I didn't see you.
My, that's a wonderful outfit you're wearing.
Where is he, Sylvia?

Who is he? And why should Sylvia know? The point is there are innumerable directions in
which the sidestep technique can go. Experiment to find a path that works best for you. Look at
a section of your dialogue and change some direct responses into off-center retorts.

4. Cultivate Silence. A powerful variation on the sidestep is silence. It is often the best
choice, no matter what words you might come up with.

5. Polish a Gem. Weve all had those moments when we wake up and have the perfect
response for a conversation that took place the night before.
Your characters can have those at a moment's notice. But, one gem per quarter. Divide your
novel into fourths. When you polish your dialogue, find those opportunities in each quarter to
polish a gem.
And how do you do that? Like a diamond cutter, you take what is rough and tap at it until it is
perfect. Just remember to use these gems sparingly. The perfect comeback grows tiresome if it
happens all the time.

6. Employ Confrontation. Many writers struggle with exposition in their novels. Often they
heap it on in large chunks of straight narrative. Backstorywhat happens before the novel
opensis especially troublesome. How can we give the essentials and avoid a mere
information drop?

Use dialogue. First, create a tension-filled scene, usually between two characters. Get them
arguing, confronting each other. Then have the information appear in the natural course of
things. Here is the clunky way to do it: John Davenport was a doctor fleeing from a terrible
past. He had been drummed out of the profession for bungling an operation while he was
drunk.
Instead, place this backstory in a scene in which John is confronted by a patient who is aware
of the doctors past:
I know who you are, Charles said.
You know nothing, John said.
You're that doctor.
If you don't mind I--
From Hopkins. You killled a woman because you were souses. Yeah, that's it.

And so forth. This is a much underused method, but it not only gives weight to your dialogue, it
increases the pace of your story.

7. Drop Words. This is a favorite technique of dialogue master Elmore Leonard. By excising
a single word here and there, he creates a feeling of verisimilitude in his dialogue. It sounds
like real speech, though it is really nothing of the sort. All of Leonards dialogue contributes to
characterization and story. Here is the standard exchange:
Your dog was killed?
Yes, run over by a car.
What did you call it?
It was a she. I called her Tuffy.

This is the way Leonard did it in Out of Sight:

Your dog was killed?
Got run over by a car.
What did you call it?
Was a she, name Tuffy.

Notice its all a matter of a few words dropped, leaving the feeling of real speech.
As with any technique, theres always a danger of overdoing it. Pick your spots and your
characters with careful precision and focus, and your dialogue will thank you for it later.

10-MINUTE FIXES TO 10 COMMON PLOT

PROBLEMS
1. I'm Missing a Crucial Piece of Information
Youre writing a key scene, and you realize that you really need to know something, but its
either impossible to find out or too costly in time or money to do so.
10-MINUTE SOLUTION: If you can't find the data you need, get as close as you can and
wing the rest
When the chips are down, make it up.
Lets say you need to present exact details about the innards of a nuclear bomb. Current atomic
devices are top secret, but you can learn a lot online about outdated ones. Then, use common
sense and your imagination to take it from there. What might be different today in a bomb?
Well, you can bet the electronics are smarter and smaller. With the addition of fictional details,
you can BS your way convincingly through the scene:
The guts of the bomb were now open to his scrutiny. As the detonation sequence began, Agent
008 focused on the microchips, which were shielded, for fail-safe reasons, behind a thin
titanium screen about the size of a credit card. Microchips are delicate. If he could somehow
disable one, even by something as small as a scratchthat might do it. Nothing to lose at this
point. He snapped the clip off his Montblanc Meisterstck and, using it as a miniature crowbar,
went to work.
You might be surprised at how much you can make up in a convincing way. Maybe you need a
recipe for the perfect poison and have no idea where to begin. Invent a character whos a
chemist, and have that character develop a poison thats as lethal as cyanide, as innocentsmelling as strawberries and as traceable as water.
Be bold!

2. My Action in this Scene Drags

Weve all been there: Youve got an action scene thats starting to bore even you. Granted, your
story is moving forward, but it feels cumbersome.
10-MINUTE SOLUTION: Resist the urge to pile it on; rather, tighten what you've got
You could spend hoursdays!trying to inject more life into a scene, but the best solution is
often just the opposite. Usually a quicker pace will do the trick.

One of the easiest, most effective ways to tighten prose is to turn full sentences into fragments
and opt for one-line paragraphs.
If you start with this, for example: The thug was much taller and heavier than Jamal. Looking up,
Jamal thought: If I dont figure something out fast, were all dead meat. There was the pool cue,
propped against the table, his only available weapon. He grabbed it, wound up as the big man began to
react, and swung. It was with a tremendous sense of satisfaction that everybody in the bar heard a
crunching sound.

Turn it into something like this:

Jamal looked up.A giant.
Without thinking, he grabbed the pool cue and swung, eyes closed.
A satisfying crunch!

You shouldnt try to write a whole book this way, but rat-a-tat (i.e, rapid sucession of tapping
sounds) passages like this will bring variety and movement to your fiction.

3. One of My Character's is Starting to Seem Lackluster

Sometimes you get too careful with a character, especially if youve based her on yourself or a
close friend or relative. If this seems to be the case, consider adding weirdness.
10-MINUTE SOLUTION: Give her an obsession
Obsessions are great because theyre simple to drop into a characters personality, and you can
use them repeatedly to spice up your plot.
An obsession gives a character a sort of schizophrenic point of view that can be used for comic
relief, extra conflict, inner turmoil or all three.

4. I Have to Communicate a Lot of Information, and it's Overkill

Youre at a turning point in your novel, and youve got one character revealing information to
another, or making connections in his head as the puzzle pieces fall into place. Or your
omniscient narrator is explaining a lot of stuff to the reader. And it doesnt feel natural.
10-MINUTE SOLUTION: Turn narrative into dialogue
Dont underestimate the modern readers ability to infer, generalize and make connections. A
professionals first instinct is to cut exposition, but when youve sliced away all but the
essential and youre still looking at an awkward block of text, turn it into dialogue.
Scope around for a handy character for the first one to talk to. Then, give the two some backand-forth, something to disagree about. Create a little conflict while delivering your basic facts.

Or, if your character is alone, make him have an internal argument.

5. I Don't Know What Should Come Next

10-MINUTE SOLUTION: Have a 10-minute brainstorm
Have confidence that as a writer, you are by nature a bit of a mystic. We take the creative
journey others fear to take, and we return with something no ones ever seen before. You
cant force it, but when you shift into a place of non-judging receptivity, youll be amazed
at what you get.

6. I've Got a Complex Plot, and All My Final Raveling Seems Forced
10-MINUTE SOLUTION: Choose some loose ends to leave loose
Readers will know theyre in good hands if you pay off your suspense. This is key, and it bears
repeating: Suspense is the most important aspect of a book to build and bring to a satisfying
climax and conclusion. This holds true in any genre; even the most sedate literary novels are
built on a foundation of suspense.
It follows, then, that not every loose end needs to be tied up. Leaving your readers with a little
bit of hmmm can be a good thing (especially if youre writing a series).
Even if you dont want to keep readers wondering, its still true that some ends just dont need
to be wrapped up. For example, if you have a minor character who served a function early on,
but who dropped out halfway through the book, by the end the reader will either have forgotten
about her, or will understand that particular loose end is irrelevant.
Challenge your impulse to wrap up everything with a bow, and you might achieve a more
natural result.

7. I Need a Bridge Between Two Scenes but I'm at a Loss

10-MINUTE SOLUTION: Insert a chapter break, or use the magic word
An excellent way to bridge two scenes is to actually separate them. A chapter break can
eliminate the need for a bridge altogether. Pick a novel you like and study the last and
subsequent first pages of chapters. Youll find that most modern novels freely jump forward

(even backward) in time, or sideways in space (from one characters viewpoint to anothers, for
example), and the overall effect is smooth. Give it a try.
The magic word is meanwhile. Rather than a big-deal transition, meanwhile might be all you
need.

8. My Ending Made My Critique Group Go, So What?

10-MINUTE SOLUTION: Add passion, violence, or both
A weak ending, of course, may signify major problems with the rest of the book. But not
necessarily. If youve built convincing characters and worked out a believable, suspenseful
story, but things still fall flat at the end, this could be because you havent gone far enough.
Some authors simply take their foot off the accelerator toward the end, either from fatigue or
from an unnecessary sense of restraint. Whatever the case, if you discover youre one of them,
youve got to ramp up the emotion.
Now, you dont want to be cheap, but be advised that exploitation works. Readers expect to be
knocked out of their socks, and its really OK to give them that.
So try heightening the ending youve already got. A good way to do it is to add passion or
violenceor both.
When trying to figure out how to amp up your ending, your genre can help you decide. Every
romantic story from Pride and Prejudice to Sweet, Savage Love ends with love, love and more
love, so if youre writing a romance, adding passion is a no-brainer.
On the other hand, if youve got a thriller or mystery, or even a literary novel, violence goes a
long way toward making readers feel excited and, ultimately, satisfied.
If the police come to arrest the bad guy, make it a shootout. If your tragic hero dies, make him
die horribly. If your heroine is happy at the end, make her happy and rich. If your novel already
ends with a bang, make it louder!

9. My Agent/Editor Wants Me to Cut 10,000 Words!

Many authors on the brink of getting published are told by a prospective agent or editor, I love
this novel, but its too long. If you can cut it by about 10,000 words (or whatever terrifyingly
high number), I think I can sell (or publish) this. They dont want any specific cuts at this
point; they just want the manuscript to better fit a common format.
10-MINUTE SOLUTION: Micro-edit your way to success

You can spend lots of time rereading your manuscript and painfully strategizing what hunks to
cut, but an excellent way to quickly trim it to size is to cut one word per sentence. This
technique is pure magic. Or, you can divide the number of words you need to cut by the
number of pages you have, and come up with an average words-to-cut per page. Of course you
wont be able to whittle down your whole manuscript in 10 minutes, but take it as a challenge.

10. The Whole Thing Stinks!

Every author is stricken, at least once per book, by Creeping Rot Disease. CRD begins as a
dark feeling that takes over your mind and heart when you least expect it. You look at your
manuscript and the feeling creeps over you that all youve done is foul a perfectly good stack of
paper. Its lousy. Its not original. Its nothing any agent, let alone editor, would look at twice.
Im wasting my life, you think. Im a fool.
10-MINUTE SOLUTION: Take a break
The better solution is to take a break. Turn off your computer, close your notebook, cap your
pen (because the problem is not with your manuscript, its with you) and do something
completely different.
Can you become a great author in 10 minutes? No, but between careless abandon and
paralyzing overanalysis, you can find a lot of solutions to help you move forward. The goal is
to work past problems as they arise so you can keep writing. You can always go back and
smooth over any rough edges later.

HOW TO WRITE INTRIGUING MALE AND

FEMALE CHARACTERS
Chances are, if youre female, you write like a girl, and if youre male, you write like a guy.
Not that theres anything wrong with that unless, that is, youd like your writing to be read
by members of another gender, or youre trying to create characters of the opposite sex. If so, it
might just help to have a better understanding about how the other half thinks, acts, reads and
writes.
If you havent considered the impact of your own gender on your writing, its time to start. By
educating yourself about how men and women differ, youll be able to better understand your
audience, broaden your writings appeal and make educated choices when it comes to language,
story and styleno matter what youre writing, or who youre writing it for.

Talk the Talk

We dont usually pay enough attention to how something as simple as choosing our words can
attract or turn off prospective readers.
Gender-specific terms arent always immediately obvious; there are plenty of seemingly
ordinary words and phrases that are much more likely to be uttered by one sex or the other. A
woman is three times more likely to use the word gorgeous, for example. And when men do
use it, its typically only to describe a womannot a baby, a pair of shoes or a piece of
chocolate cake.
So lets start with some basic guidelines. No matter what youre writing, if your intended
audience is female, make sure to include plenty of personal pronounsI, you and we
and descriptive terms. If your intended audience is male, on the other hand, trade in pronouns
for articlessuch as a, the and thatchoose active verbs, limit adjectives and include
concrete figures, like numbers. Observe the stylistic differences between these two statements:
Im sorry were late; we had a flat tire on our way here, and, The tire blew when we hit 70
on the freeway. Chances are you can tell right away which sex is talking in each one.
When you want to appeal to a mixed audience, review your writing with an eye for instances in
which the language skews toward your own gender. When you find them, make revisions to
include a balance of wording that caters to the other sex as well. Pay special attention to your
analogies; if youre writing an article on choosing energy-efficient appliances, for example, and
you compare a refrigerator to a sports car, counter later in the piece by mentioning that the
dishwasher purrs like a kitten. Or opt for gender-neutral analogies.

Walk the Walk

No matter what you write, one of the earliest decisions youll make is how to approach your
topic. Gender should definitely play a role here. Men generally prefer to see something
accomplished a battle won, a dog trained. Women often favor a focus on the relationships
and emotions behind the story what happens to the family left at home while the spouse is
off fighting the war, what its like for the dog to learn to sit and stay?
The lessons are clear if youre writing for a single gender, but whats a writer to do to be more
inclusive of both men and women? Where there is yin, balance it with yang. If you choose a
female approach to a topic, bring balance by incorporating more masculine elements, and vice
versa.

Dress the Part

Style differences are especially important to understand if youre writing dialogue. One of the
most difficult undertakings we face as writers is putting the right words into our characters
mouths. Recognizing differences in the way the genders communicate can help you create more
believable, engaging characters that will ring true for your readers. Linguistic research has
found that women are more likely to state preferences rather than demands (I would like a
glass of wine), start a sentence with a question (What do you think about ?) and use
apologetic language even when being decisive (Im so sorry, but Im going to have to lay you
off). Men, on the other hand, use more commanding and aggressive language (Grab me a
beer), and are more likely to pepper everyday conversation with less accommodating phrasing
(which can include things like sarcasm, put-downs or references to taboo body parts). Studies
have also shown that men dont divulge much personal information in everyday conversation,
while women frequently do.
If youre writing for a single genderwhether youre penning an instructional piece or
working on your novel-in-progressdont shy away from integrating these style differences
into your work. They may seem subtle, but youll be surprised at how much careful attention to
these preferences can boost your writings appeal to your audience.

THE 4 STORY STRUTURES THAT

DOMINATE NOVELS
All stories contain four elements that can determine structure: milieu, idea, character and event.
While each is present in every story, there is generally one that dominates the others.
Which one dominates? The one that the author cares about most. This is why the process of
discovering the structure of a story is usually a process of self-discovery. Which aspect of the
story matters most to you? That is the aspect that determines your storys structure.
Lets take each element in turn and look at the structure that would be required if that were to
be the dominant element in your story.

STRUCTURE 1: The Milieu Story

The milieu is the worldthe planet, the society, the weather, the family, all the elements that
come up during your world-creation phase. Every story has a milieu, but when a story is
structured around one, the milieu is the thing the storyteller cares about most.
Milieu stories always follow that structure. An observer who sees things the way wed see them
gets to the strange place, observes things that interest him, is transformed by what he sees, and
then comes back a new person.
This structure is most common in science fiction and fantasy, but it also occurs in other types of
novels.
As you conceive and write your own story, if you realize that what you care about most is
having a character explore and discover the world youve created, chances are this structure is
your best choice.
When writing a milieu story, your beginning point is obviouswhen the character arrives
and the ending is just as plain: when she leaves (or, in a variant, when she decides not to leave,
ending the question of going home).
Such stories are typically most effective when seen through the viewpoint of the arriving
character, as shell be surprised by and interested in the same strange and marvelous (and
terrible) things that engage the readers.

STRUCTURE 2: The Idea Story

Idea stories are about the process of seeking and discovering new information through the eyes
of characters who are driven to make the discoveries. The structure is very simple: The idea

story begins by raising a question; it ends when the question is answered.

Most mysteries follow this structure. The story begins when a crime takes place. The question
we ask is, who did it and why? The story ends when the identity and motive of the criminal
are revealed.
When writing an idea story, begin as close as possible to the point where the question is first
raised, and end as soon as possible after the question is answered.

STRUCTURE 3: The Character Story

Character stories focus on the transformation of a characters role in the communities that
matter most to him. Sure, in one sense, stories are almost always about one or more
characters. In most stories, though, the tale is not about the characters character; that is, the
story is not about who the character is.
Take, for example, the Indiana Jones movies. These are not character stories. The story is
always about what Indiana Jones does, but never who he is. Jones faces many problems and
adventures, but in the end, his role in society is exactly what it was before: part-time
archaeology professor and full-time knight-errant.
By contrast, Carson McCullers The Member of the Wedding is about a young girls longing to
change her role in the only community she knowsher household, her family. She determines
that she wants to belong to her brother and his new wife; they are the we of me, she decides.
In the effort to become part of their marriage, she is thwartedbut in the process, her role in
the family and in the world at large is transformed, and at the end of the story she is not who
she was when she first began. The Member of the Wedding is a classic example of a character
story.
The structure of a character story is as simple as any of the others. The story begins at the
moment when the main character becomes so unhappy, impatient or angry in her present role
that she begins the process of change; it ends when the character either settles into a new role
(happily or not) or gives up the struggle and remains in the old role (happily or not).

STRUCTURE 4: The Event Story

In the event story, something is wrong in the fabric of the universe; the world is out of order.
The event story ends at the point when a new order is established or, more rarely, when the old
order is restored or, rarest of all, when the world descends into chaos as the forces of order are
destroyed. The story begins not at the point when the world becomes disordered, but rather at
the point when the character whose actions are most crucial to establishing the new order
becomes involved in the struggle. Hamlet doesnt begin with the murder of Hamlets father; it
begins much later, when the ghost appears to Hamlet and involves him in the struggle to
remove the usurper and reestablish the proper order of the kingdom.

The viewpoint character, not the narrator, is our guide into the world situation. We start with the
small part of the world that he knows and understands and see only as much of the disorder of
the universe as he can.
Too many writers of event stories, especially epic fantasies, dont learn this lesson from
Tolkien. Instead, they imagine that their poor reader wont be able to understand whats going
on if they dont begin with a prologue showing the world situation. Alas, these prologues
always fail. Because we arent emotionally involved with any characters, because we dont yet
care, the prologues are meaningless. They are also usually confusing, as a half-dozen names are
thrown at us all at once. I have learned as a book reviewer that its usually best to skip the
prologue and begin with the storyas the author also should have done. I have nevernot
oncefound that by skipping the prologue I missed some information I needed to have in order
to read the story; and when I have read the prologue first, I have nevernot oncefound it
interesting, helpful or even understandable.
In other words, writers of event stories, dont write prologues. Begin small, and only gradually
expand our vision to include the whole world. If you dont let us know and care about the hero
first, we wont be around for the saving of the world. Theres plenty of time for us to learn the
big picture.

5 STEPS TO A GREAT FEMALE

PROTAGONIST
The key, they say (They being published authors with female protagonists), to a great female
protagonist is to shun stereotypes and double-standards and instead focus on simply making her
believable in every way. Once youve done that, you can make your own rules.
Here are their top 5 tips for making your heroine shine:
1. Go ahead and let people underestimate your female protagonist at the start of your story. This
will give her a chance to prove herself (and prove them wrong).
2. Follow Alex Kavas rule of thumb: Make your female stronger than your gun. Otherwise,
she could be seen as weak or vulnerable. Give your heroine a strong intellect, a sharp wit, or
some other quality that will make her a character who has what it really takes to be tough.
3. That said, dont get so carried away trying to make her tough that you forget that shes a real
woman, not a superhero. Erica Spindler says great female protagonists dont have to be defined
by big, heroic things, and recommends giving her a little touch of normalcy, something readers
can identify with. (An example from Spindler: Maybe shes incredibly gutsy by day, but when
shes alone at night, she finally breaks down.)
4. Dont be afraid to victimize your protagonist. Victimizing the heroine can be a catalyst to
allow her strength to come through. If she has a horrific background (shes been attacked, shes
lost a child or someone close to her, etc.), she has something to overcomeshe now has a
reason to be strong.
5. Try giving your character a fear. This may sound counterintuitive to making a tough
protagonist, as with Indiana Jones and his phobia of snakes, relatable fears can make characters
seem realand give them more plot-building obstacles to overcome in the course of your story.

MOTIVATE YOUR CHARACTERS LIKE A

PRO
Edgar-nominated author D.P. Lyle, MD, advises that to begin developing a characters
motivation, you should first decide where he or she fallsat the beginning of your storyin
each of these key spectrums:
Tough Guy <> Whiner
Team Guy <> Rebel
Artist <> Dreamer
Smarty <> Dummy
Blooming Rose <> Wallflower
Grinder <> Lazy Dog
Goody <> Baddy
Believer <> Doubter

Now, look ahead to where you plan for your story to end. Where will your character fall on all
of the above spectrums, once the story arc has come to its close? Motivated characters all have
one thing in common: They change. Use the above spectrums as a barometer to measure that
changeand by the end of the story, the character should fall at the opposite end of most or
even all of the above ranges.

3 EXERCISES FOR TAPPING INSPIRATION

1. Let people be your prompts. The next time you and a friend or spouse are out dining or
waiting to board a plane, work up an imaginary profile of two or three of the persons nearby
(being careful, of course, not to stare), based on their clothing, mannerisms or bits of
conversation you overhear. What are their livelihoods, favorite activities, fears, obsessions?
Imagine them engaged in a crisis.

2. What inspires you to write? Keep a running list of anything that propels you to put
words on paperwhether in the form of a letter, a journal entry, the opening lines of a poem or
short story. From time to time, choose one of these jottings and build on it until you have a
complete draft.

3. Play a favorite piece of music and write down anything that comes to mind. Dont
pause to find the right word or to make your sentences perfect; just let the music work its magic
on your imagination.

FROM IDEA TO PAGE IN 4 SIMPLE STEPS

Nothing is more exciting than the promise of a story in your head, but in order to get it on the
page you need to figure out exactly what you need to do to make it work. You need to
realistically outline and throw out what bogs the readers down. You need to set up a game plan
to hook your readers and keep them reading. Here are some simple steps to help you build the
frame that you hang your story on.

STEP 1. Always Begin with Your Protagonist. The readers need to discover who the hero
is and why they should root for him. Introduce your protagonist, either directly or indirectly,
within the first 300 words.

STEP 2. Establish Time and Place. Your readers should know exactly where they are. If
they are wondering, they lose focus and may stop reading. They have to trust that you are in
control of the story. Nobody likes to be left alone in the dark.

STEP 3. Announce the Stakes. Great prose will go a long wayabout 2,500 words, more
or less. After that, even the most literary readers want to know why theyre reading. Just a
simple sentence can do the trick. At the end of the first section of The Things They Carried,
Tim OBrien writes of the letters that Jimmy Cross received from a girl back home named
Martha. He mentions that theyre signed Love, Martha, but acknowledges that using the
word love is a custom and not anything more. At the end of this section, OBrien writes,
Slowly, a bit distracted, he would get up and move among his men, checking the perimeter,
then at full dark he would return to his hole and watch the night and wonder if Martha was a
virgin.
Right there, the author lets us know whats really on the mindand at the heart of the story
of this young man who is so very far away from home.

STEP 4. Organize. Once you have your story structured around the beginning youve set in
place, look at all the bits of writing youve done and all the notes youve taken and ask yourself
one simple question: Where the heck was I going with this? If you dont know, or if where
youre going now doesnt match where you were going when you set out, focus on better
defining those areas before you go any further.

TAKE YOUR NOVEL TO THE FINISH LINE

1. Write the Whole First Draft Firstand Fast
This first rule deals not so much with revision, but with resisting the impulse to revise as you
write. This is difficult in large part because it means forgiving yourself for writing terrible
prose. Theres no way around it. Fast means sloppysloppy diction, syntax, grammar. Any
damage suffered by your writers ego, however, will come at a small cost compared to the
benefits gained.
Truth is, a quickly written draft produces a narrative with a clean trajectory. Think of it as a
carpenters chalk line, the graph of your storys arc. Your characters might remain undercooked
and your subplots unexplored in this first go-through, but in working fast you have little choice
but to hew close to the basic story line. As a result, youre saved from the tempting side-trails
and seductive tangents that can derail your progress. (You can come back to those later, when
your task is to spice up and thicken your characters and plot, to pursue all of their wonderful
complications.)
Heres the point: Once youve blasted through to the end of a book, you have a much better
sense of what belongs in the beginning and middle sections. And to your great advantage you
wont have wasted your time writing, revising and polishing unnecessary scenes that will only
end up on the cutting-room floor.
How fast is fast, you ask? Depends on the writer. My natural habit is to work slowly, but I
wrote the first draft of my current manuscript in six months, an hour a day, five or six days a
week. My objective was to write two pages each time I sat down, not so daunting a task once I
absolved myself in advance for committing every writers sin there is, many times, in every
session. If you do the sameif you dedicate yourself to writing without self-editingyoull be
amazed at how soon that draft is finished. Then its time for the rewrite, starting with the
element that will sustain your readers on their own marathon: the action.

2. Evaluate the Dramatic Function of Every Scene or Unit of Action

Readers can tell if a passage fails to advance the story in some way. If thats the case, they
begin to skim, or worse, they toss the book aside. Therefore, the best way to start revising is to
begin rereading your first draft and ask yourself this essential question at the opening of every
chapter or scene: What exactly happens here, and how does it surprise my character or offer
some new perception to the reader? Be sure every dramatized incident, whatever it isa fight,
a conversation or merely a silent moment in which a character ponders some issuemoves the
story to a new place. When you find scenes that dont, youve found the first targets of your
revision.
In Kent Harufs Plainsong, a small-town Colorado teacher goes out to visit a pair of old
bachelor farmers/brothers and stuns them (and the readers, too) by asking if theyd be willing
to take in a high school girl whos been kicked out of her home because shes pregnant. The
two old men, understandably, are struck dumb. Its a lively scene, the teachers request a

surprise that sets into motion a key element of the novels plot.
The next passage, however, is quiet. The teacher has left the farmhouse kitchen, and the two
men put on their coats and go outside into the winter night to fix a broken water heater. An
entire page is spent describing how they chop free the heater from ice thats formed in the water
tank and how they relight the pilotnearly 300 words during which the men dont say one
thing to each other! Nor does the narrator offer insight into their thoughts. Can such a passage
justify itself? Listen to how it ends and to how Haruf transitions into the inevitable
conversation:
So for a while they stood below the windmill in the failing light. The thirsty horses
approached and peered at them and sniffed at the water and began to drink, sucking up
long draughts of it. Afterward they stood back watching the two brothers, their eyes as
large and luminous as perfect round knobs of mahogany glass.It was almost dark now.
Only a thin violet band of light showed in the west on the low horizon.
All right, Harold said. I know what I think. What do you think we do with her?
The passage in question may not advance the plot directly, but it does demonstrate the
particular way these brothers communicate with each other: silently, through side-by-side labor.
Also, its evocative language makes us feel as if the horses themselves are grateful, a feeling the
readerconsciously or notbrings to the discussion the brothers are about to have concerning
the girl.
Scenes dont have to be highly dramatic in order to perform valuable work. Yet its important
that you examine them one by one, satisfying yourself that each will deepen your readers
connection to the story and urge them to turn the page.
Failing that test, scenes need to be cutor reworked until they pass.

3. Identify Lulls in Action Where You can Insert Mini-Scenes

As novels progress, they inevitably alternate between the modes of scene and summary.
Scenes, of course, depict moments of decision and high emotion, turning points that demand a
full dramatic rendering, complete with dialogue, action and vivid descriptions. But intervening
periods of time, lulls between episodes of heavy weather, character histories and complicated
relationships also must be accounted for. Summaries, thenlong passages of expositionare a
necessary evil. (All that densely packed prose, with no white space for the eye to rest upon!)
One way to help your readers persevere through spots where the pacing lags is to spice up the
passages with bits of live action, with mini-scenes.
In the first chapter of Jon Hasslers Staggerford, the narrator spends pages describing a typical
day in the life of Miles Pruitt, a high school English instructora tedious approach had Hassler
not interjected several mini-scenes into the long summary. Notice how smoothly Hassler moves
from exposition to a moment of dry humor. All it requires is a single transitional sentence with
the marker had indicating the shift backward in time:
William Mulholland was in this class. In the Staggerford Public Library every book
having to do with physics, chemistry, statistics, or any other sort of cold-blooded
calculation contained on its check-out card the name William Mulholland. Only once
had he spoken in this class. On the opening day of school Miles, taking roll, had said,

Bill Mulholland.My name is William, he replied.

Toni Morrison uses a similar strategy throughout Beloved, a novel with a complex structure and
wide scope that requires frequent use of summary. In this passage Sethe, a former slave, is
reminiscing about her lost husband, Halle, and about other slaves she knew on the plantation.
Morrison doesnt use transitional language at all. She simply plugs in a bit of uttered speech:
Hidden behind honeysuckle she watched them. How different they were without her, how
they laughed and played and urinated and sang. All but Sixo, who laughed onceat the
very end. Halle, of course, was the nicest. Baby Suggs eighth and last child, who rented
himself out all over the country to buy her away from there. But he too, as it turned out,
was nothing but a man.A man aint nothing but a man, said Baby Suggs. But a son?
Well now, thats somebody.
Be on the alert, then, in your own work for long paragraphs consisting of backstory, physical
description and character analysis. The information in such passages may be necessary, but
unless you sprinkle in memorable scenic elementssnippets of dialogue, little clips of
movementyour readers might lose patience.

4. Vary Your Methods of Beginning Chapters

Chapter breaks and other pauses allow readers to catch their breath, ponder what theyve read
and anticipate what might be coming next. As you revise your novel, dont miss the opportunity
to look at them collectively and make sure youre offering a variety of chapter kickoffs to pique
your readers. Sometimes youll want to give them what they expectbut a good novelist walks
the line between keeping readers comfortable and making them crazy, so other times its best to
startle them.
The most common method of getting a chapter started, one that takes readers by the hand and
gently guides them into the next section of the story, is to position a character in time and
instantly establish the dramatic situation. Theres nothing flashy about this strategy, but it gets
the
job done.
On the morning of the 22nd I wakened with a start. Before I opened my eyes, I seemed to
know that something had happened. I heard excited voices in the kitchengrandmothers
was so shrill that I knew she must be almost beside herself.
Willa Cather, from Chapter 14 of My ntoniaAfter Ty left, it took me half an hour to
get myself down to my fathers.
Jane Smiley, from Chapter 16 of A Thousand Acres
Another method sketches out a period of time, rendering its mood and general character as a
way to place coming events into context. Use this strategy when your novel calls for a moment
of reflection, requires a bit of backstory or needs to make a chronological leap forward. Heres
F. Scott Fitzgerald at his evocative best:
There was music from my neighbors house through the summer nights. In his blue
gardens men and girls came and went like moths among the whisperings and the
champagne and the stars.
from Chapter 3 of The Great Gatsby

Other times, thoughespecially following chapters that move at a leisurely paceyoull feel
the need to shake things up, toss readers in over their heads, pitch them a curve. In other words,
crank up the speed a notch or two. In my novel Undiscovered Country, Chapter 13 begins with
the appearance of the narrators dead father in a moment for which neither the narrator nor the
reader is prepared.
This time he didnt smell like gunpowder and beeswax, but instead like hed smelled on
those nights when he got home late from closing and came into my room to check on me.
He always reeked of cigarettes from his night at the Valhalla, but there was also a hint
of his spearmint toothpaste and the soap he was partial to, a tangy brown bar soap
peppered with mysterious black granules. It was this combination of smells that made me
glance up now into the rearview mirror as Charlie and I neared the edge of town.
Dad was in the backseat watching me.
Finally, a clever way to open a chapter is to offer some pithy observation that bears directly
upon the events unfolding. My brother Leif Enger uses this method to good effect in his recent
novel, So Brave, Young, and Handsome.
Violence seldom issues a warning
from Chapter 7Its an old business, it turns out, this notion that learning a persons true
name gives you leverage
from Chapter 4
Or consider this gem from Leo Tolstoy, at the opening of Anna Karenina:
Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.
Remember that every new chapter offers the opportunity to reintroduce your story and re-orient
your readers to the world of your novel. So as you revise, be strategic with your chapter
openings. Your efforts will stave off reader complacency and give your novel the chance to
hook your readers again and again.
Are these all strategies you could employ while you write the first draft? I dont think so. Its
not until you can stand back and look at that draft as a cohesive whole that you will be able to
apply these rules effectively and give your manuscript the revision it requires.
Writing and revising a novel means hard work, months or years of itall the more reason to
keep your readers needs at the forefront of your mind as youre working. The time and energy
invested in your novel doesnt come to an end, after all, once you revise the last page, or even
after the manuscript has been edited, produced and publishedbecause, finally, your readers
pour themselves into it, lay their own claims to it. Keeping this in mind should inspire us to
fashion novels that are enjoyable yet challenging, familiar yet surprising, and as free of
unnecessary hindrances as we can make them.

YOUR ESSENTIAL SYNOPSIS CHECKLIST

Use a 1-inch margin on all sides; justify the left margin only. Put your name and contact
information on the top left corner of the first page. Type the novels genre, word count and
the word Synopsis in the top right corner of the first page. Dont number the first page.
Put the novels title, centered and in all caps, about one-third of the way down the page. Begin
the synopsis text four lines below the title. The text throughout the synopsis should be
double-spaced (unless you plan to keep it to one or two pages, in which case single-spaced is
OK). Use all caps the first time you introduce a character. After the first page, use a header
on every page that contains your last name/your novels title in all caps/the word
Synopsis:Name/TITLE/Synopsis. After the first page, number the pages in the top right
corner on the same line as the header. The first line of text on each page after the first page
should be three lines below the header.

10 SYNOPSIS DOS AND DON'TS

1. Do keep in mind that this is a sales pitch. Make it a short, fast and exciting read.
2. Do establish a hook at the beginning of the synopsis. Introduce your lead character and set
up a key conflict.

3. Do remember to always introduce your most important character first.

4. Do provide details about each of your central characters (age, gender, marital status,
profession, etc.), but dont do this for every characteronly the primary ones.

5. Do include the characters motivations and emotions.

6. Do highlight pivotal plot points.
7. Do reveal your novels ending.
8. Dont go into detail about what happens; just tell the reader what happens as concisely as
you can.

9. Dont inject long sections of dialogue.

10. Do write in the third person, present tense, even if your novel is written in a different point
of view.

YOUR GUIDE TO AN EFFECTIVE NOVEL

SYNOPSIS
How you submit your novel package will depend on each agent or publishers specified
submission guidelines. Youll find that some want only a query letter; others request a query
letter and the complete manuscript; some prefer a query letter plus three sample chapters and a
synopsis; and still others request a query letter, a few sample chapters, an outline and a
synopsis. All want an SASE (self-addressed, stamped envelope) with adequate postage, unless
they request an electronic submission. To determine what you need to submit, visit the agent or
publishers website for guidelines, or consult a current edition of a market resource such as
Novel & Short Story Writers Market, Writers Market or Guide to Literary Agents. These
sources have submission specifications that come straight from the editors and agents telling
you just what to send, how to send it and when to anticipate a response.
Be prepared to send at least a query letter, a synopsis and three consecutive sample chapters.
These are the most importantand most requestedparts of your novel package. You may not
need to send them all in the same submission package, but you probably will need to use each
of them at one time or another, so prepare everything before you start submitting. Here well
focus on what writers often find the most difficult component of their novel submission
package: the synopsis.

Defining Synopsis
The synopsis supplies key information about your novel (plot, theme, characterization, setting),
while also showing how these coalesce to form the big picture. Quickly tell what your novel is
about without making the editor or agent read the novel in its entirety.
There are no hard and fast rules about the synopsis. In fact, theres conflicting advice about the
typical length of a synopsis. Most editors and agents agree, though: The shorter, the better.
When writing your synopsis, focus on the essential parts of your story, and try not to include
sections of dialogue unless you think theyre absolutely necessary. (Its OK to inject a few
strong quotes from your characters, but keep them brief.) Finally, even though the synopsis is
only a condensed version of your novel, it must seem complete.
Keep events in the same order as they happen in the novel (but dont break them down into
individual chapters). Remember that your synopsis should have a beginning, a middle and an
ending (yes, you must tell how the novel ends to round out your synopsis).
Thats whats required of a synopsis: You need to be concise, compelling and complete, all at the same
time.

Crafting Two Synopses

Because there is no definitive length to a synopsis, its recommended you have two versions: a
long synopsis and a short synopsis.
In past years, there used to be a fairly universal system regarding synopses. For every 35 or so
pages of your manuscript, you would have one page of synopsis explanation, up to a maximum
of eight pages. So, if your book was 245 pages, double-spaced, your synopsis would be

approximately seven pages. This was fairly standard, and allowed writers a decent amount of
space to explain their story. You should write a synopsis following these guidelines first. This
will be your long synopsis.
The problem is that during the past few years, agents started to get busier and busier, and now
they want to hear your story now-now-now. Many agents today request synopses of no more
than two pages. Some even say one page, but two pages is generally acceptable. To be ready to
submit to these agents, youll also need to draft a new, more concise synopsisthe short
synopsis.
So, once youve written both, which do you submit? If you think your short synopsis is tight
and effective, always use that. However, if you think the long synopsis is actually more
effective, then you will sometimes submit one and sometimes submit the other. If an agent
requests two pages max, send only the short one. If she says simply, Send a synopsis, and
you feel your longer synopsis is superior, submit the long one. If youre writing plot-heavy
fiction, such as thrillers and mysteries, you might really benefit from submitting a longer, more
thorough synopsis.
Your best bet on knowing what to submit is to follow the guidelines of the agency or publisher
in question.

Formatting Electronic Submissions

Some editors or agents might ask you to submit your synopsis via e-mail or on a CD. The
editor or agent can provide you with specific formatting guidelines indicating how she wants it
sent and the type of files she prefers.
If an agent or editor does request an electronic submission, keep the following four points in
mind:
1. Follow the same formatting specs as for a paper synopsis submission.
2. When sending your synopsis via e-mail, put the name of your novel in the subject line (but
dont use all capsits just obnoxious).
3. Send the synopsis as an attachment to your e-mail unless the editor or agent requests
otherwise.
4. Include a cover letter in the body of your e-mail, and your cover page and table of contents
in the file along with the synopsis.

10 QUERY LETTER NO-NOS

10. Letters that have typos in the first sentence.
9. Letters that start with a nugget of wisdom: Every step we take in life moves us in a
direction.

8. Letters with faint or very small type. You can assume that just about everyone in publishing
suffers from eyestrain.

7. Letters longer than one page.

6. Letters with overcomplicated directions for replying: Im going to Tortola for the next three
weeks. If you need to reach me, please call my cell number. Dont leave a message at my home
number because I wont get it until I return. A simple street or e-mail address will do.

5. Photocopied letters with no salutation.

4. Letters that start, I know how busy you are, so Ill get straight to the point and not take up
too much of your valuable time. By writing this, youve already taken up a full sentence of my
valuable time.

3. Letters with grandiose claims: My novel will appeal to women, and because there are 150
million women in the United States, it will sell 150 million copies.

2. Letters that say, Ive worked very hard on this novel. Does that fact alone make it a good
novel?

1. And the No. 1 query letter no-no: I have written a fiction novel. When an agent sees this
sentence in a query letter, he quickly draws the conclusion that a writer who doesnt know that
a novel is, by definition, a work of fiction is a writer who isnt ready to be published.

BASICS OF A SOLID 3-PARAGRAPH QUERY

Like many independent literary agencies, mine is small, with only two full-time people and one
part-time person and no more than 50 active clients at any given time. Yet even we receive at
least 50 query letters every week. Potentially, we could replace our entire client listwhich has
been nearly 20 years in the makingevery week of the year. And at the end of each year,
weve read, processed, answered, thrown away, cried over, winced at, yawned over or gotten
excited about nearly 3,000 letters about as-yet-unpublished books. That number doesnt include
the e-mail querieswhich we officially dont accept, but which nevertheless come in at the
rate of 20 or more a week.
Out of those 3,000 pleas, nearly 75 percent are about novels. And out of those, at least 90
percent are about first novels. That brings the number of queries about first novels to about
2,000 every year. And in a recent year, I accepted as a client one new novelist out of those
2,000. Thats not 2 percent, or 1 percent, or even one-half of a percent. Thats one-tenth of onehalf of a percent.
Reading statistics like those must be thoroughly discouraging. Statistics are, after all, often
discouraging: The number of people who apply to certain schools versus the number who get in
is always a discouraging number. Our chances of winning a million-dollar-plus lottery are also
discouraging, but many of us still buy tickets. So lets look at those numbers another way: 80
percent of those query letters about first novels never should have been sent.
Thats righta full 80 percent of the letters I read pitching first novels never should have been
sent to me, or to any agent or editor. Either the writers were not ready to be published and their
books were not ready to be agented, or they misdirected the query letter by writing to me about
the kind of book I dont represent.
So, if we subtract 80 percent from the 2,000 first-novel query letters I (and many of my
colleagues) see every year, we come up with a grand total of 400. Four hundred letters a year is
only about eight per week. I would happily read to their end eight letters a week about first
novels. Yet if I still take on only one writer of those 400, I have taken on one-quarter of a
percent of the writers who write to me about their first novels. Its still a small percentage, but
1/400th is considerably better than 1/2000th. (Try reading that sentence out loud and youll see
one reason why.)
So, with that in mind, lets make sure you have the tools you need to write a query letter that
sets you apart from the packa letter that should definitely be sent.

Query Letter Basics

A good query letter, like the best writing, has urgency and clarity. Its not dull, but it attends to
the business
at hand without fuss. It is, of course, a sales pitch directed with passion, belief and enthusiasm
to someone likely to buy the product being pitched. Youre trying to find a reader for your
book. And because every editor and agent is first a reader, youre going to write this letter to
the reader who is most likely to want to read your book.

Lets start with the basics. For instance, youve probably figured out that an effective query
letter:
doesnt state the obviousif it does, agents will think your book is all telling, no
showing.
is never longer than one pageif it is, agents will think your book is overwritten.
is not about youif it is, agents will think your book will be too navel-gazing to invite the
reader in.
never sounds genericif it does, agents will think your book wont have a unique or
appealing voice.
makes the book sound interestingif it doesnt, agents will know the book isnt.
So what does a good query letter look like? Well, heres a letter that got my attention:
Dear Ms. Rittenberg,
I am seeking representation. I have won a few awards for fiction and poetry. My novel,
THE CLEARING [later titled A Certain Slant of Light], is a supernatural love story told
from the point of view of a young woman who has been dead 130 years. Shes haunting a
high school English teacher when one of the boys in his class sees her. No one has seen
her since her death. When the two of them fall in love, the fact that he is in a body and
she is not presents the first of their problems.
Please let me know if you would be interested in reading part or all of THE CLEARING.
I have enclosed a SASE. Thank you and I look forward to hearing from you.
Although the author, Laura Whitcomb, began the letter by saying something that might not
have been strictly necessary, she said it with admirable brevity. I didnt have time to stop in the
middle of the opening sentence. Before I knew it, I had read the whole letter and written the
word yes at the bottom. (If you could see the pile of rejected query letters in my office every
week, you would see how the no is always written at the top of the letters. Thats because I
didnt reach the end.) Lauras letter wasnt written with fireworks, but it didnt need to be,
because the story as she described it briefly needed no embellishment. And she had enough
confidence in her story to let the description be.
Lets break it down paragraph by paragraph, and see how all the pieces fit together.

The First Paragraph: Your Hook

The first paragraph of your query letter should skip the throat-clearingor at least keep the
opening pleasantries to a bare minimumand get quickly to the one-line description. In that
sentence youll give the title of the novel and insert the genre if appropriate. Heres the first line
of a letter I saw this year:
[Title] is a coming-of-age novel about two young women trying to survive their first year
of college and find their own identities.
To tell you the truth, that sentence would have been enough to describe the book, but the author
went on for four more sentences in an attempt to make the novel sound dramatic. If she had
taken out those four additional sentences, she would have had a serviceable description of the
novel. However, she probably also would have had to face the fact that her novel was not
inherently dramatic enough to interest agents and editors in a competitive marketplace. It didnt

have a hook. Somewhere within herself, she knew this, and thats why she added the four
sentences.
Look again at Lauras letter:
My novel, THE CLEARING, is a supernatural love story told from the point of view of a
young woman who has been dead 130 years.
The genre, the title and the hook are in one sentence. Laura added a few more sentences to
flesh out the basic idea, but she didnt go on too long and, more important, she left the reader
with a cliffhanger by saying:
When the two of them fall in love, the fact that he is in a body and she is not presents the
first of their problems.
Your hook should be your novels distinguishing feature. A distinguishing feature can be
something imaginative in the plotthe way Lauras book was a love story featuring a heroine
whod been dead for 130 yearsor it can be sheer good writing. It can be something unique
about the book or about the way you describe the book. But if the one-liner doesnt make
anyone sit up and take notice, all the additional plot description in the world isnt going to help.
Your letter should not describe your book at length, should not drag the reader all the way
through the plot and should not give away the ending. A real mood-killer is to use an
overworked notion like redemption or a clichd descriptionsuch as, Its about the human
conditionwhen describing your book. Stick to the concrete. Its easy to see why someone
might think that a one-line description is the same thing as a summary, but its not.

The Second Paragraph: Your Bio

In your second paragraph, give some brief and pertinent biographical information. Writing
courses, publications and awards are good to mention. But more than a sentence summing up
minor publications and writing study is not so good.
Rememberthe immediate task of the query letter is to get an agent or editor interested in
reading your novel. Its not to showcase what an interesting, fabulous, credentialed or kooky
person you are. That will come later, when your agent needs to sell you as well as your book.
But for now, you need to come across as professional, serious, dedicated and confident.
Anything you say about yourself should somehow, briefly and brilliantly, make us think we
want to read your book. All Laura said of herself was, I have won a few awards for fiction and
poetry. Because she couldnt claim to have won the Pulitzer, hadnt invented nuclear fusion,
wasnt married to someone famous and, more to the point, had never published a book, there
was no point in giving a long rsum of her achievements.
Many query writers insert a sentence beginning, Although I am an unpublished writer
Doing so simultaneously states the obvious (youre writing about your first novel, after all) and
dwells negatively on youon what you havent done. Remember that the query letter is
looking to the future. The future is when someone is going to read your novel, and your job is
to convince us that we will be that future someone. Say no more than one or two things:
I received my MFA from the Columbia Writing Program, where my novel was awarded the
Prize for Singular Fabulousness.

 Ive worked as a taxi driver and a mail carrier while writing and publishing short fiction in
literary journals.

The Third (and Final) Paragraph: Your Conclusion

Your third paragraph should be the sign-off paragraph. Wrap up the letter with a word or two
about having enclosed a SASE and looking forward to a response, and sign off. Dont drag it
out. Dont give your vacation schedule with your spouses cell phone number. If youve used a
letterhead with your address, e-mail address and telephone number, or inserted that information
in a business-letter-appropriate fashion, anyone who wants to track you down will find you.
Many agents nowadays dont even need you to indicate that youre making a multiple
submission, because they assume you are. So stop talking, finish the letter with a
complimentary closing and hit Save. Then prepare yourself for the next step: researching
agents to find the right one for your book.

HOW TO CHANNEL PASSION IN YOUR

WRITING
What is it in a novel that sweeps us away? To put it differently, when we are transported while
reading fiction, what is it on the page that actually produces that effect?
Many things can contribute: an intriguing premise, protagonists about whom we immediately
care, three-dimensional antagonists, gripping scenes, a richly developed world, a singular
voice, high believability, micro-tension on every page.
But above all there is a feeling that this story mattersa lot. We want to experience it. We have
to read it. How does that happen? What causes us to feel like that every page of the way?
In a word, I believe it is this: passion.
Now, passion is an overused word. Its a cultural buzzword like survivor, solutions, sustainable
and edgy. It sounds evocative and important, but what does it really mean?
As a literary agent, I especially dislike the way the word is used in the writing game. Write
what you are passionate about! How often have you heard that advice? I am passionate about
my fiction! Well, duh. Thats no great claim. Its like saying, I love breathing air!
Every author believes he has passion. What he actually means is he has dedication. Thats
great, but its not the same as the passion that comes through on the page.
The passion that comes through on the page is something inherent in the story itself. In some
way, the author has endowed imaginary people and made-up events with urgency and
importance. Those qualities do not lie below the surface; they dwell in the printed words.
When I point out this difference, most authors are quick to reassure me, Oh, my pages are
passionate, all right! My books about big issues. It has themes galore. Hey, I lived these events
myself. (Or, if not, I certainly did lots of research.)
If thats true, then why do so many manuscripts and even published novels fail to get me in
their grips?
Have you ever felt like a novel you were reading was, in truth, a waste of paper? Did you ever
slog through a novels middle wondering why you were even bothering? If so, you know what
Im talking about. The spark that ignited the writing can all too easily get lost in the long
process of completing the manuscript.
Focus is easy to lose.
So what is that missing X factor? How do you get that necessary passion on the pageand in a
way that pierces through to the hearts of crusty, seen-it-all agents, editors and (finally) readers?
And how do you summon that passion at every writing session, no matter how many months
and drafts youve already devoted to a project?
The first thing to realize is that every moment of a story that you choose to set down matters.

Every scene not only enacts a change but has hidden in it the reason that the change is
important. One of your responsibilities is to pin down that importance.
The next principle is that nothing in a story is meaningful until its meaning is clear to a
character. If youre asking your readers to intuit (by themselves) the unfolding significance of
whats happening, then you arent doing your job. You are driving through the dark with your
authorial headlights switched off.
Dont get me wrong. Im not in favor of clunky moralizing. Angst and hand-wringing by pointof-view characters also grows wearisome. Even so, the impact of what is happening in the story
can be weighed and measured by those experiencing it: your characters.
How to do that without bogging things down? One technique is to include not what a particular
plot turn means in the grand scheme of things, but instead what it means to your point-of-view
character. In other words, illuminate for that person not what has changed, but how she has
changed.
There is also the matter of finding the overall storys meaning and making it come through.
That cant be done by sticking the moral in at the end. Meaning must infuse the entire
manuscript. For that to happen you must discover every day why this story matters to you.
Thats not as difficult as it sounds. All it takes is asking yourself at every writing session why
you care about what is happening in the scene at hand. What makes you angry? When you look
at whats happening, what about it strikes you as sad, ironic, stupid, soulful, sublime or just
plain real?
Transposing your own powerful feelings, opinions, joys and sadness to your characters, every
day, is the way to instill in your pages the wisdom that is living inside your noveland you.
Do that daily and you will make passion a practical tool.

7 TIPS TO LAND THE PERFECT TITLE FOR

YOUR NOVEL
Having a good title meant everything in 18th-century England, where the fate of lovers often
hinged upon whether or not the man could claim a stately rank like duke or baron.
For the fiction writer of the 21st century, a good title of a different sort is just as crucial.
Unfortunately, too many aspiring writers spend years perfecting their manuscripts, only to tack
on uninspired titles as afterthoughts. I encounter this casual approach to titling in my own
fiction workshops, where talented students undermine first-rate stories with second-rate labels.
Fortunately, this is one of the easiest pitfalls for the emerging writer to avoid. I urge my
students to think of their titles as the first opportunity to stand out in the slush pile. After all,
while we are told not to judge a book by its cover, when confronted with thousands of
submissions, what editor wont be drawn to a clever or alluring title? Devoting even a small
amount of creative energy to naming your work can vastly improve your odds of publication.
My rule of thumb is that strong titles are distinctive, but not distracting. While Anton Chekhov
could afford to tack dull titles (Home, The Student) onto vivid stories, modern audiences
want something more memorable. At the same time, anything as complex as The Effect of
Gamma Rays on Man-in-the-Moon Marigolds may draw attention to itself at the expense of the
story that follows (unless, of course, youre Paul Zindel).
The trick is to find a happy balance between the all-too-forgettable and the truly over-the-top.
You want to choose something that makes your readers think: What a fantastic title! Why didnt
I come up with it?
Heres how to do just that.

1. Google It. The easiest way to ensure you have an original title is to type the phrase into an
Internet search engine, or even Amazon.com. Some great titles will produce matches, of course
but if you are the first person to coin the phrase youve chosen, then you know youve hit the
originality jackpot. (While titles are not copyrightable, and in theory you could name your
novel Gone With the Wind, doing so is unlikely to help your career.)

2. Maximize Your Choices. I tell my students to approach naming a story as they do seeking
a mate: While some people meet their perfect partners during their teenage years and live
happily ever after, the vast majority of us have to date lots of people before we find what were
looking for. The same holds true for titles. I suggest making a list of at least five different titles
before deciding upon one. Theres also much to be said for asking friends and family which
title they prefer.

3. Don't Forget Voice and Point of View. Every fiction writer knows that strong prose
requires a distinctive voice and a consistent point of view. Far too many writers forget that a
title should do the same. If youre narrating a story in the third person, dont call it My
Summer Vacation. On the other hand, if your story is told from an unusual vantage point, you

can use the title to announce this fact to the reader. Robert Olen Butler, for example, uses his
title for exactly this purpose in the modern classic Jealous Husband Returns in Form of
Parrot.

4. Include Precise Nouns and Active Verbs. Computer programmers have tried for years
to create the perfect algorithm for naming a bookfor example, claiming that three-word titles
sell best, or insisting that the most marketable titles contain verbs. If this approach actually
worked, of course, these programmers would be publishing moguls. A simpler technique is to
select precise nouns and strong, active verbs. Eugene ONeills Desire Under the Elms is far
more compelling than Love Under the Trees would have been.

5. Craft Two Meanings. Most readers consider your title twiceonce before they start
reading your work, and again after they have finished. Many successful titles gain hidden
layers of meaning as theyre read, so they pack an extra punch when reflected upon for the
second time. Noteworthy examples include Shirley Jacksons The Lottery and John
Cheevers The Swimmer.

6. Avoid Sabotaging Your Plot with Your Title. If youre writing a mystery novel or a
suspense thriller, make sure you dont give away the ending on the cover. Also, refrain from
using either the first or last lines of your story as your title, as such double duty takes away
the surprise of the opening hook or the dramatic conclusion.

7. Make Certain Your Title Matches Your Story. This is the most important rule of
titling, probably the only one no writer can afford to break. Often we start off with a promising
title in mind for our workand assume, once we have finished writing, that this title still fits.
Unfortunately, the human imagination does not always conform to our expectations, so its
essential to ask yourself, once your manuscript is complete, whether the original title still
matches the story youve told.
Titling may seem stressful, but the process should actually be enjoyable. After all, any writer
who has completed a story or novel realizes that a title serves one more purpose that primarily
benefits the author: Typing a solid title onto your manuscript is a way of patting yourself on the
back and taking pride in a job well done.

PUBLISHING 101: WHAT YOU NEED TO

KNOW
It might sound like an unfair stereotype, but its true: Those of us who have worked in
publishing can attest to the obvious fact that few first-time writers have the slightest idea of
what goes on behind the scenes at their publishers. And its not because its top-secret
information that agents and editors dont want you to know. In fact, the opposite is true:
Developing a basic understanding of the process with a realization of how you can impact the
sale of your book is crucial to your success. If you dream of a career as a writer, the more
knowledge you have about the marketplace and the publishing process, the better your chance
of making your dreams come true.
There are two crucial parts to every writing career: The first is the writing and completion of
your manuscript and preparing it for acquisition and publication, and the second is everything
that goes along with the production, marketing, sale and distribution of your book. Knowing
how all this comes together doesnt just increase your odds of crafting a submission that will
get you a dealit also gives you a better chance of impacting the decisions that can make or
break your books success.
Heres how it works, why you need to know and how you can enter into a publishing
agreement as an author with influence.

First Things First

Before getting into the specifics of how publishing works, you need to start with the basics.
And that means that even while youre in the stages of completing or revising your manuscript,
you need to make a habit of visiting your local bookstore regularly. Your goal: marketplace
research. Browse the aisles, make observations and read similar books in the same broad genre
as your own.
Pay special attention to the books in your section written by authors you dont recognize.
Notice how theyre packaged and priced. Take note of the cover design, jacket copy and
sources of the endorsement blurbsanything that went into the process of publishing what you
see in front of you.
Bookstores are laboratories for marketing and selling books. Writing is a craft, but publishing is
a business. To become a successful author you must develop a knowledge of that laboratory.
Being able to intelligently discuss books and authors with professionals who make their living
in publishing builds your credibility as a market-savvy authorespecially if you can
demonstrate an understanding of where your own book will fit in. Once you know exactly
where your work belongs on the shelf, be sure that knowledge is reflected in the query or cover
letter accompanying your submissions to agents or editors. It will increase your chances of
getting one.

Acquisitions

Publishing is an extremely competitive business. Houses compete to sign the best manuscripts
possible. The major houses, as a rule, do not accept unsolicited submissions. They rely on
agents to supply them with a steady stream of publishable possibilities. Once an editor agrees
to read a manuscript, it has passed a critical test. If the editor likes what she reads and thinks
its a good fit for her list, she will then move forward with a proposal to acquire the book. But
this doesnt mean its a done deal.
Every publisher has an acquisition committee of editors, publishers and sales and marketing
representatives dedicated to finding manuscripts that can, to put it bluntly, make the company
money. There are three broad criteria publishers use to make these selections. The first is
whether or not they feel the manuscript is well written and informative or entertaining. The
second is whether or not they think it can secure a wide enough distribution to booksellers
and then attract enough consumers to generate sufficient revenue. The third is whether or not
the author has a platform and is promotable. Each manuscript must meet all three criteria,
almost without exception, to be seriously considered. Timing (and, lets be honest, luck) also
plays an important role: If your book is salable but the company recently acquired two similar
titles, yours may get the bump. Publishers go to great lengths to produce a well-rounded list of
titles. Each imprint has a certain editorial expertise by genre, and the company is focused on
producing a group of quality books that fill every category.
If your submission meets the committees approval after all of this has been considered, youll
be offered a contract.

The Meeting
Consider for a moment that even once youve made it past the gatekeepers, your book is just
one of hundredsor even thousandsyour publisher releases each year. The more you can
separate yourself from all the other authors up front, the better chance you have of making an
impact on the publication of your book. So once you sign the contract (after negotiations and
the expert consult of your agent or another legal professional, of course), plan a trip to your
publisher, set up a meeting with your editor and ask him to invite the appropriate parties of all
the departments involved with the book. Whether or not this request is honoredand if so, who
exactly attendswill speak volumes about where you are in the pecking order of other authors.
For example, if it turns out to be just your editor, or a group of bright young assistants,
youre probably near the bottom of the list (along with almost all the other first-time authors).
If that happens, dont take it as a bad sign. Just understand where you rank in the grand scheme
of things so you can set realistic expectations.
The moment that contract was signed, you lost rights and control over how your manuscript
will be published. But if you develop solid relationships up front with the key people involved
in making your manuscript a marketable book, you have a better chance of at least having your
ideas heard. This meeting is your first and, arguably, most important chance to do that. (It may
even be the only one you get.) So dont skip this step. The secret to being effective: Base your
comments on the realities of the marketplace, and acknowledge the time constraints these
players have in balancing their work on your book among all the others. This is where all those
visits to the bookstore begin to pay off.

Editorial

Todays book industry is so competitive that most acquired manuscripts dont require
significant editorial overhauls. Those needing lots of attentionwhether theyre riddled with
technical errors or in need of heavy restructuringrarely make it past the agent.
Todays editors more often request minor rewrites or
reworks and otherwise polish the manuscripts they acquire. The secret to starting off right:
Recognize that when an editor asks for editorial changes, you are under contract to rewrite and
deliver on time. You are the author and always maintain your copyright, but ownership of your
writing has transferred to your publisher, which is paying you for those rights and control.
Similarly, when it comes to your books title, know that it could very well be changed, and its
your publishers prerogative to do so.
Beyond the obvious editor/author relationship, every smart writer knows his editor is also his
main contact (and advocate) for all things relating to the publication of his manuscript. Conduct
yourself accordingly. Dont come off as needy, but dont neglect this relationship, either.

Scheduling
Once a title is scheduled for publication and a release month has been set, the work begins in
earnest. The time from a books acquisition to the day it hits shelves is typically anywhere from
one to two years. It depends on how timely your topic is, how many titles are under contract in
your category and when your publisher thinks your book will have the greatest chance of
success in the market.
Publishers meet often to discuss the seasonal schedule and position their titles to maximize
sales potential. The biggest consideration is competition, both in-house and from other
companies. Publishing competitive titles concurrently dilutes the sales potential of the entire
list. This is another reason its essential to meet all your deadlines for rewrites, revisions and
reviews: Failing to do so can endanger the carefully choreographed timing designed to
maximize your books sales prospects.

Numbers
Publishers work from a set of numbers that is developed during that initial acquisition meeting.
Upon agreeing to publish your manuscript, your publisher already knows the number of copies
your book needs to sell to be profitablefor the house and for you. Profitability is the
cornerstone of everything the company does with regard to publication, and its often referred
to as the budget number for each book. This number is the basis of how much attention to
detail your title receives. With limited time and resources to produce thousands of titles, the
budget number is one way for publishers to prioritize.
Authors are rarely aware of their budget numbers, and questions directly relating to those
numbers seldom receive a response. Again, that initial meeting with your editor or publishing
team is the best indicator of where your book stands.

Production
Possibly the most overlooked and underappreciated part of the publication process is the work
of the production department, which develops and designs the cover and interior of each book,
along with coordinating the printing and binding of the finished products. Readers do in fact
judge a book by its cover, and getting it right is something the largest publishers do extremely

well.
Awareness of the production schedule for your book is important; knowing when each part of
the design and layout process is coming helps you determine when its appropriate to ask any
questions you might haveand to gently offer your own ideas while theres still time for them
to be taken into consideration. As long as you acknowledge your publishers control, youre
likely to find the house will be receptive to your input if its based on your keen sense of the
market. Always make suggestions a few weeks in advance of the date the production schedule
indicates each decision is being made. Dont be overbearing and dont be a pest. Make
intelligent suggestions based on your knowledge of the need your book is filling in the
marketplace, and you will be seen as an asset, not just another author looking to promote her
own interests. Speak up too late, and theres no turning back. Your publishers team is making
all the decisions, remember; they bought the rights to your writing and can do what they want.

Marketing
There are three major components to book marketing: advertising, promotion and publicity.
Advertising includes paid placements of a book in print or other media. Promotion is the
creation of anything that draws attention to a book, from corrugated floor and shelf displays in
bookstores to bookmark and T-shirt giveaways. Publicity is the art of generating print and
media pieces about an author and her book. The key to selling copies at a high sell-through
(meaning people actually buy the books off the shelves) in todays marketplace is to generate
lots of publicity. The key to effective publicity is to focus on the area that will generate the
most sales for your book.
One quick caveat: The stronger your author platform already is, the better equipped you will be
to assist in these efforts. Marketing is not something that starts or stops at any given time.
Ideally, its an integral part of your writing career that begins long before you land a book deal
and continues for as long as you call yourself a writer. (Editors Note: For more on this, visit
writersdigest.com and see the May/June 2009 issue of Writers Digest, which focuses on author
platforms and marketing.)
Successful marketing is all about creating the proper mixture of advertising, promotion and
publicity within the assigned marketing budget to generate interest that results in sales. Dont
ask for things that are clearly outside the limits of your publishers budget. If something is
missing from the plan and you offer to help, make sure you get your publishers approval, and
be willing to work with each department to make it happen. Be prepared to invest your own
money in these efforts eventually, but dont offer to do it up front until you know exactly what
your publisher plans to do. Then, partner with your publisher to promote your book, keeping
them informed of your own efforts and listening carefully to their expertise so that together you
can present a unified marketing plan. Publishers dislike authors going off on their own without
consulting them or soliciting input. They also dislike authors who are singularly focused on the
writing and want nothing to do with promotion. These are the two quickest ways to lose
support, and you never, ever want your publisher to turn its back on your efforts.

Conference
Most major publishers separate their list of titles into seasons. The seasonal designation is
significant to the bookseller and marketing staff because each seasons list is presented at one

conference to the sales group. Members of this sales group then go and make seasonal
presentations to book buyers at major chain and independent bookstore groups around the
country.
Any changes that need to be made to your book should be completed prior to this conference.
Afterward, you wont have another opportunity to speak up about your cover, interior design,
jacket copy, marketing plans or anything else. As soon as its over, your book is already on its
way to being presented, sold and distributed to booksellers around the country.
The conference is a well-guarded place and publishers seldom allow authors to attend. If youre
invited, its a very big deal; make the most of it. If not, it cant hurt to ask about attending a
portion of the conference. On the off-chance your publisher says yes, its a great opportunity to
meet people who have a tremendous impact on the success of your book. Observe, network and
learn.

Sales
Once the sales representatives leave the conference, they immediately begin making
appointments and presenting titles to the buyers for the big chain bookstores (like Barnes &
Noble and Borders), and for suppliers of independent ones (like Ingram and Baker & Taylor).
Seasonal lists of titles are typically sold months in advance of publication, so most titles being
presented are months from the actual publication and release date. This gives the publisher
plenty of time to assess all orders, make adjustments as necessary and print the right number of
copies for distribution to the marketplace.
Obviously, the books at the top of the list get the most orders. If your book is positioned low on
the list, theres a good chance the big chains will pass or give you a small order, which means
you wont find copies on all store shelves. Dont get upset! A targeted distribution with a high
sell-through trumps having your book placed inside every single store in the country. What
makes distribution such a delicate dance is that books are always returnable to the publishers
warehouse if bookstores cant sell them. So while you want your book to be readily available to
your audience, theres also a danger in printing and distributing too many copies. Selling large
quantities to booksellers without proper marketing support is tantamount to a low sell-through
and a high rate of return, which can spell doom to a promising career. (Translation: If your first
book isnt profitable, your chances of publishing a second one are slim.) Be happy with what
you get and work with your publisher to promote your book so you can sell those copies. Then
the stores will have to order more!

Distribution
The most misunderstood and misconstrued term in the wide scope of publishing is distribution.
For the largest trade publishers, selling and distribution go hand-in-hand. Proper distribution is
not a simple listing of a title in the database of a large book outlet or mailing postcards to
bookstores around the country.
Actual distribution begins with the process of sales presentations weve already discussed,
coupled with skillfully matching booksellers with books that sell copies at a very low rate of
return. Different genresas well as the publishing formats of hardcover, trade and massmarket paperbacksresonate with consumers who shop in specific locations. Distribution in
the truest sense is matching the category, format and price to the right outlet in quantities that

make sense for both the publisher and bookseller.

On Sale
The cycle is now complete: Books have been produced and distributed, copies are for sale
online and on store shelves, and marketing plans are, with hope, bringing enough attention to
particular titles that consumers are buying books. It may seem daunting, but its actually both
repetitive and consistent. As an author, understanding how your book works its way through the
process gives you a head start.
Never forget the fact that publishing is a business, your manuscript is a product and you, as the
author, are a commodity. When you sign that contract, your manuscript is packaged, priced and
sold to make money. Your publisher has acquired your work to profit from the sale of your
writing. Its not so much about great writing as it is about a good book that can generate
revenue, and how much value you as an author and your writing bring to the company. As long
as your writing is profitable and you continue to produce entertaining, informative manuscripts
on schedule, you have a very good chance of maintaining a career as a writer.
Best of luck.

HOW TO WEAVE IN BACKSTORY TO

REVEAL CHARACTER
Creating characters backstories before you start writing is crucial because youll want to
determine each ones past experiences and the repercussions these experiences will have on
your story before you begin. All characters come to your story with a problematic past and
unresolved personal conflicts, so you should have a full understanding of what these problems
are right from the starteven if readers dont see the connections until later.
The most common methods you can use to give the audience this important background
information include dialogue, narration, internal dialogue and flashbacks. Remember, too, that
this information must be presented in a natural progression and as an integral part of the story;
otherwise, it will seem forced and unnatural.
Lets take a closer look at the different ways you can introduce backstor y.

Dialogue
If two people are giving vital information about a characters backstory in a factual
conversation, its likely to be dull and uninteresting to the audience. However, if you show the
same two characters having a heated discussion or argument, then the information is revealed
through conflict, and its likely to be more exciting for readers.
Lets say, for example, that a couple is having a conversation in a restaurant. This is rather
uninteresting, unless what they are discussing is highly secret. The situation becomes even
more suspenseful if theyre unaware a man is listening to what theyre saying. The audience is
aware of the intruder but the couple isnt, and this creates tension. By constantly making the
stakes higher and the conflict greater, youll be able to reveal information and backstory while
simultaneously building suspense and keeping the action moving.
Tennessee Williams does an excellent job of providing backstory through dialogue in A
Streetcar Named Desire. When Blanche DuBois comes to visit her sister, Stella, and Stellas
husband, Stanley Kowalski, at their run-down apartment, she comes with a suitcase full of
secrets. Plus, Stanley hates Blanche because he knows she feels superior to him, and as a
consequence, he lashes out at Blanche and Stella:
Who do you think you are? A pair of queens? Now just remember what Huey Long said
that every mans a kingand Im the king around here, and dont you forget it!Again,
Stanley wants to undermine Blanche to Stella when he reminds her of the good times the
two had before Blanche arrived:
Listen, baby, when we first metyou and meyou thought I was common. Well, how
right you was! I was common as dirt. You showed me a snapshot of the place with them
columns, and I pulled you down off them columns, and you loved it, having them colored
lights goin! And wasnt we happy together? Wasnt it all OK? Till she showed up here.
Hoity-toity, describin me like an ape.

What colorful, rich dialogue Stanley uses to express his present conflict, while at the same time
giving information about his happier past without Blanche.

Narration
Although its not done much in modern plays, playwrights used to develop characters who
walked directly out of the set or stood in front of the curtain to provide revealing information
about the characters to the audience. In Thornton Wilders Pulitzer Prize-winning Our Town,
the character of the Stage Manager functions as the narrator when he relates to the audience:
This is the way we were in our growing-up and in our marrying and in our doctoring and
in our living and in our dying.

Inner Dialogue
Thoughts or interior dialogue can also be valuable tools for revealing a characters backstory
and psychology. Take a look at this example from Judith Guests novel Ordinary People. Here,
we see the central character, Conrad Jarrett, interacting with his swim coach. Notice Conrads
internal thoughts in italics, which ultimately provide readers with more insight into what the
boys truly feeling and thinking:
Jarrett, you got to be kidding me. I dont get it. I excuse you from practice twice a week
so you can see some shrink. What the hell more am I supposed to be doing for
you?Nothing. Shrink. Hate that word coarse ignorant just like the kind of word youd
expect from stupid bastard like Salan will not get mad control is all just someday come
down here tell him what he can do with his goddamn ignorant opinions.

Flashbacks
When you interject a scene from the past into the present plot, youre using flashback.
Flashbacks are done either visually, as in film, or by using a characters interior thoughts or
interior monologue, as in prose. The flashback gives information or an explanation about a
specific character or event that is important for the audience to know. Be careful, however, not
to use a flashback if it has no relationship to the present scene; doing so will create confusion.
Flashbacks can often slow down a story or interrupt the flow, and youll want to make sure you
weave them in smoothly.
Toward the end of F. Scott Fitzgeralds The Great Gatsby, the narrator of the novel, Nick
Carraway, relates through summary Gatsbys last night with Daisy before Gatsby goes off to
war:
On the last afternoon before he went abroad, he sat with Daisy in his arms for a long,
silent time. It was a cold fall day, with fire in the room and her cheeks flushed. Now and
then she moved and he changed his arm a little, and once he kissed her dark shining hair.
The afternoon had made them tranquil for a while, as if to give them a deep memory for
the long parting the next promised. They had never been closer in their month of love, nor
communicated more profoundly one with another, than when she brushed silent lips
against his coats shoulder or when he touched the end of her fingers, gently, as though
she were asleep.

This flashback, one of many in the novel, not only provides readers with a glimpse of the
relationship Gatsby and Daisy once shared, but also adds emphasis to angst now felt by Gatsby
as he watches Daisy with her husband, Tom.
Remember that you want a flashback to enhance your present story and allow the audience to
learn secrets from the past, so theyll understand whats happening. But dont rely on
flashbacks to structure your story, and make sure you use them sparingly.

11 PLOT PITFALLSAND HOW TO

RESCUE YOUR STORY FROM THEM
Weve all been there: basking in the glow of a finished manuscript, only to read it over and
realize something is wrong with the plot. Finding ourselves unable to identify the problem only
makes matters worse. But take heart! Here are some common plot gaffes and sensible ways to
revise without starting over.

1. The Plot isn't Original Enough. Go through your pages and highlight anything that
youve read in another book or seen in a movie. In the margin, write where youve seen it.
Then list these sections and make a note for each one about how it could differ from its
lookalike. A mental patient escapes by throwing something heavy through a window. Too much
like One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest? Instead, the patient walks out with a visiting grandma
after convincing her hes an old friend. Quick notes like these can help you detach from
unintentional imitation.

2. Readers Always Know Exactly What's Going to Happen. This may be because
youve chosen a plot point thats overused, or because you keep giving away the answer in
advance. Readers know the villain is going to whip out a picture of the heros son and
blackmail her by pretending to have kidnapped the little boy because you showed the villain
taking pictures of the child and driving away from the schoolyard. You could be less obvious
by only showing the antagonist sitting in the car watching the boy on the playground, and no
more.

3. The Plot is Boring. Take each page and imagine what different writers might do with the
same plot. Choose extreme examples. Would a comedy writer have the cab driver and the
villain coincidentally be childhood friends with unfinished business? Would the mystery writer
have the taxi pass a clue on a street corner that makes a new connection for the hero? Would the
horror writer have the cab driver channel a ghost? Or, imagine the most surprising thing that
could happen in a given scene. It doesnt matter if these ideas dont fit your story. Youre not
going to use them. But often, after thinking of wild ideas to make the story more interesting,
you begin to come up with workable ones that are just as stimulating, but better suited to your
book.

4. The Plot is all Action and the Frenzied Pace Numbs Readers. Let them breathe.
Give the readers a little downtime now and then in your action story. Look back at your
favorite action novels. Notice the conversations, summarized passages, meals, introspection
and releases of emotions that are set in between the car chases, shootouts and confrontations.
List them. Then give the readers a chance to breathe in your own manuscript. Find the dramatic
respites that come from your characters needs, flaws and strengths.

5. The Plot is too Complex. Often, a complex plot can be trimmed into a sleek one by
cutting out some steps. Does your protagonist have to visit her father in the hospital twice
once to bring him flowers and talk about Mom, and then again to find he has taken a turn for
the worse? Couldnt he take a turn for the worse while shes still there the first time? Does your

villain need to have three motives for revenge? Would one or two be interesting enough? To
find the messiness in your overly complex story, summarize it out loud to yourself. When a
section takes too long to explain, make a note. When you find yourself saying, Oh, wait, I
forgot to mention that youre probably in need of a plot trim. When deciding whether or
not to simplify the plot, ask yourself over and over again,
Why does she do that? Why didnt she just do this? Making a plot less complicated doesnt
have to make it less clever.

6. The Plot is too Shallow. Sometimes as writers we get caught up in the action. The
symbolism. The metaphors. The witty dialogue. The great character names. The slick
descriptions. Sometimes we ride these skills over the surface of the story and forget whats
really important. If you or your first readers (friends, family, agent) complain that the novel
feels insubstantial, step back and ask yourself these questions: Why am I bothering to write this
story? Why does the outcome matter to the characters? How do the characters change? How
did my favorite book affect me the first time I read it?

7. Suspension of Disbelief is Destroyed. Readers need to buy into the reality put forward
by what theyre reading. You may go too far with a plot point or not far enough with preparing
your audience for that plot point. If something that sounded right when you outlined it is
coming off as farfetched even to you, look back at the stepping-stones that led to the event. If
your murderer turns over a new leaf at the end of act two, make sure youve given her reason
to.

8. Too Many Subplots Make the Plot Overly Complex. If you start to feel weighed down
by your numerous storylines, start cutting them. List the subplots (shopkeeper with a crush,
neighbors dog that tears up the garden, accountant who threatens to quit every day), and then
list under each title all the ways its necessary.
Only subplots that are so vital that you could not remove them without destroying your novel
get to stick around. Be bold.

9. The Sequence is Illogical. Sometimes the sequence set down in an outline starts to show
its true colors when youre writing the chapters. If you feel the order of scenes or events in your
story is off, list each scene on a separate index card and, in red ink, write a question mark on
every card that doesnt feel right where it is in the story. Shuffle the cards. Im not kidding. Mix
them up completely. Lay them out again in the order you think they might work best, giving
special attention to those with red question marks.
Something about these scenes tricked you the first time. This time, really look closely at the
proper place for those tricky bits.

10. The Premise isn't Compelling. If you fear that a mediocre premise is your holdup, take
out a sheet of paper. Make a list on the left-hand side of everything thats dodgy in your present
premise. Then write a list down the right-hand side about all the things that work great in the
premise of a similar favorite book, play or movie.
See where you might make the stakes higher, the characters more emotional, the setting more a
part of the overall plot. Remember: The premise should make your readers curious.

11. The Conclusion is Unsatisfying. Once again, write a list of what bothers you about your
conclusion, and next to it, a list of what worked great about the end of your favorite novel. Do
you have to create more suspense before you give the readers what theyve been craving? Do
you need to make the answer to the mystery clearer? Does the villain need to be angrier, or
perhaps show remorse? Unsatisfying conclusions are usually lacking something. Whatever that
is, make your storys ending have more of it.

5 EASY TIPS TO STRENGTHEN YOUR

SCENES
1. Relive Your Scenes. Not rewrite. Relive.
Have you ever imagined yourself to be the characters? Tried to feel what theyre feeling? Try it
now. Its not hard. Be an actor.
Often, after Ive written a scene, Ill go back and try to live the emotions. Ill act out the parts
Ive created. Almost always what I feel in character will make me add to or change the scene.
You can also imagine the scene, step by step, in your mind. Let it play like a movie. But instead
of watching the movie from a seat in the theater, be in the scene. The other characters cant see
you, but you can see and hear them.
Intensify the proceedings. Let things happen. Let characters improvise. If you dont like what
they come up with, rewind the scene and allow them to do something else.
Look at the beginnings of your scenes. What do you do to grab the reader at the start? Have you
spent too much time with description of setting? Often the better course is to start in medias res
(in the middle of things) and drop in description a little later.
Examine scene endings. What have you provided that will make the reader want to read on?
Some great places to stop a scene are:
At the moment a major decision is to be made.
Just as a terrible thing happens.
With a portent of something bad about to happen.
With a strong display of emotion.
When raising a question that has no immediate answer.

Keep improving your scenes and your novel will soon develop that cant-put-it-down feel.

2. Heat up the Core. Ask yourself what the core of your scene is. Whats the purpose? Why
does it exist? If the core is weak or unclear, strengthen it.

3. Adjust Your Pace. If you need to speed up a scene, dialogue is one way to do it. Short
exchanges with few beats leave a lot of white space on the page and give a feeling of
movement.
In the Lawrence Block story A Candle for the Bag Lady, a waitress tells private investigator
Matt Scudder someone was looking for him, ending her descriptions by saying he looked
underslung.
Perfectly good word.
I said youd probably get here sooner or later.
I always do. Sooner or later.
Uh-huh. You okay, Matt?
The Mets lost a close one.

I heard it was 13-4.

Thats close for them these days. Did he say what it was about?

To slow the pace of a scene, you can add action beats, thoughts and description as well as
elongated speeches. In the Block story, a killer confesses to Scudder. Scudder asks why he did
it.
Same as the bourbon and coffee. Had to see. Had to taste it and find out what it was like. His
eyes met mine. His were very large, hollow, empty. I fancied I could see right through them to the
blackness at the back of his skull. I couldnt get my mind away from murder, he said. His voice
was more sober now, the mocking playful quality gone from it. I tried. I just couldnt do it. It
was on my mind all the time and I was afraid of what I might do. I couldnt function, I couldnt
think, I just saw blood and death all the time. I was afraid to close my eyes for fear of what I
might see. I would just stay up, days it seemed, and then Id be tired enough to pass out the
minute I closed my eyes. I stopped eating. I used to be fairly heavy and the weight just fell off of
me.

4. Stretch the Tension. Dont waste any good tension beats. Stretch them. Make your prose
the equivalent of slow motion in a movie. Show every beat, using all the tools at your disposal:
thoughts, actions, dialogue, description. Mix these up.
In a famous early scene in Whispers, Dean Koontz takes 17 pages to describe the attempted
rape of the lead character. Read it and learn.

5. Cut or Strengthen Weak Scenes. Identify the 10 weakest scenes in your work. You
should have an idea of what these are. Use your gut instinct.
When you read through the manuscript, you sensed a certain letdown in some of the scenes, or
even outright disappointment.
To help you further, look for scenes where:
Characters do a lot of talking to each other, without much conflict.
The scene feels like a setup for some other scene.
The characters motivations seem undeveloped.
Theres too much introspection going on.
Theres not enough introspection to explain the motivations in action.
Theres little tension or conflict between characters.
Theres little tension or conflict inside the character.

Make yourself identify 10 weak scenes. Even if you think only five are really weak, rate
another five. List the scenes in order of their relative weakness. The weakest scene is No. 1, the
next weakest No. 2, and so on. Write these numbers on sticky notes and mark each weak scene
in the manuscript. Now youre ready to work.
Follow these steps:
STEP 1: Cut scene No. 1 from the manuscript. Its gone. It is the weakest link. Goodbye.
STEP 2: Move to scene No. 2. Answer the Three O Questions:

1.Whats the objective in the scene and who holds it? In other words, who is the POV character
and whats he after in the scene? If hes not after anything, give him something to go after, or
cut the scene. You must be able to state the characters objective clearly and unambiguously.

You must also make this objective clear to the reader at the beginning of the scene. The
character must either state it or show it in action.
2.Next, whats the obstacle to his known objective? Why cant he have it? There are three
primary obstacles you can use:
Another character who opposes him, either consciously or unconsciously.
The character himself is fighting an inner battle or lack of something that gets in his way.
A physical circumstance makes it hard or impossible for him to gain his objective.

3. Finally, what is the outcome of the scene? A character can gain his objective or not. For the
greatest tension, which do you think it should be? Not. Why? Because trouble is your game,
and trouble is tension for the character, and thats what keeps readers reading. Most of the time,
let the outcome be a negativeor at least an unrealizedobjective.
STEP 3: Repeat the above process for the other eight scenes on your list.

FOLLOW THESE RULES FOR STRONGER

WRITING
Strong prose is a matter of practice and discipline and conscious awareness of the words you
put on the page. There are rules for effective writing, and you can save yourself a lot of
unnecessary grief if you take the time to incorporate them into your writing psyche.
These rules cant make a good writer a brilliant one. But they can make an average writer a good
writer, and a good writer better. They can turn a mediocre story into a memorable one. And theyre a
great guide for revising your work.

1. Never let the Truth Get in the Way of Your Story. Creative writing is just that:
creative. If the truth prevents you from telling your fictional story effectively, get rid of the
facts and invent something that makes the story work.

2. Never Use Two Words when One Will Do. Less is more. Usually one powerful word
will do the same job as two weaker ones. Instead of:
Andrea stared at the horrible, slithering mass of snakes.
Write:
Andrea stared at the writhing mass of snakes.

3. Use the Active Voice. The difference between adequate prose and good prose is the
difference between passive and active voice. Make certain that active verbs drive your prose.
Instead of:
There were a great number of dead bodies on the ground.
Write:
Dead bodies littered the ground.

4. Use Parallel Construction. Parallel construction allows you to write in the most
interesting, economical fashion by aligning your verb tenses and uniting phrases with a
common construction. Instead of:
The vampire bared his teeth and then, raising his claws to sharpen them, he started licking his
chops. Gotcha! he said with a grin.
Write:
The vampire bared his teeth, sharpened his claws and licked his chops. Gotcha! he said with
a grin.

5. Keep Related Words Together. Linguistic studies have shown that most of us have a
natural instinct for the placement of adjectives. We dont say, I have a blue shiny car. Instead,
we say, I have a shiny blue car. The same principle should be applied to sentences you write.
Instead of:

Frankenstein noticed a large bloodstain in the rug that was in the middle.
Write:
Frankenstein noticed a large bloodstain in the middle of the rug.

6. Replace Adjectives and Adverbs with Vivid Nouns and Active Verbs. Cultivate the
use of strong verbs and concrete nouns. They are the most powerful tools in a writers arsenal.
Instead of:
Since the day Barbara met the werewolf, she felt very scared and frightened.
Write:
Since the day she met the werewolf, terror haunted Barbaras heart.
There is no surer way to weaken your prose than to pepper it with adverbs. There are, of
course, times when the adverb is appropriate and necessary. Choose those times carefully.
She looked longingly and lovingly at the chocolate.
Or:
She looked at the chocolate with longing and love.
Or better:
Her eyes consumed the chocolate.

7. Don't Overexplain. Give your reader the benefit of the doubt and allow him to intuit the
meaning of the dialogue, rather than read about it. Instead of:
Im sorry, Peter said consolingly.
Write:
Im sorry, Peter said.

8. Write Cinematically. When you write, think visually. Language holds endless possibilities
for a creative approach to expressing an idea.
Eddy Peters exemplified this when he wrote, Not only does the English Language borrow
words from other languages, it sometimes chases them down dark alleys, hits them over the
head and goes through their pockets.

9. Vary Your sentence Structure. Using nothing but noun-verb declarative sentences makes
for dull reading. Break up the monotony. Instead of:
John walked to the closet. He opened the door. He took one look inside and he screamed.
Write:
John walked to the closet and opened the door. Taking one look inside, he screamed.

10. Create Interest by Mixing Ideas. Mixing alien ideas and drawing unlikely parallels
will make the writing fresh
She was the kind of girl who collected men like she collected speeding tickets. They both
happened when she wasnt paying attention.

11. Listen to the Music of the Words. The best prose has a rhythm to it. Honor that rhythm.
There have been days when Ive spent half an hour searching the thesaurus for a word that has
three syllables instead of two. Sometimes the difference is subtle, but it can make the reading
experience more satisfying. Instead of:
Some writers catch on to the rhythm and they delight in the sound of the music as soon as they
learn to write.
Write:
Some writers feel the rhythm and hear the music from the moment they learn to write.

12. Avoid Word Repition. Theres nothing more tiresome for a reader than seeing the same
tiresome words over and over in the same paragraph. This creates the overall impression that
the reader is reading the same repetitive, tiresome prose over again and it tires out the reader.
Note: The exception to this rulethe critical exceptionis when you repeat a word for
emphasis.

13. Beware of it. Grammarians call it an obscure pronominal reference. Thats when it is
left dangling in a sentence without a clear reference to whom or what it refers. Double-check
for dangling its. Where you find:
Kathy couldnt believe it was happening.
Clarify:
Kathy couldnt believe her sister was finally accepting the blame.

MICHAEL CRICHTON'S TOP 5 WRITING LESSONS

1. Challenge Your Reader. Dont be afraid to tackle complex topics such as quantum
physics or manipulating the genetic code. Readers love learning something new. Stirring their
curiosity is just as important as grabbing them from the first page.

2. Surprise Your Reader. No one reading The Andromeda Strain could have guessed the
ending. Novels should be novel. Unpredictability is key.

3. Keep the Clock Ticking. Timing, tension, momentum, paceCrichton set the bar. A
pounding heart keeps the reader reading.

4. Get Your Facts Straight. Whether the details pertain to science, history or setting, readers
expect your research to be accurate.

5. Play Fast and Loose with the Facts. Story trumps all. Crichtons gift was making the
impossible believable. Everyone knows that dinosaurs cant be cloned from fossilized DNA,
but if they could

DON'T USE ADVERBS AND ADJECTIVES TO PETTIFY YOUR PROSE

Some years ago the fine short story writer Raymond Carver offered recollections about learning
to write from teacher and novelist John Gardner. I remember him as being very patient,
Carver wrote in Fires, wanting me to understand what he was trying to show me, telling me
over and over how important it was to have the right words saying what I wanted them to say.
Nothing vague or blurred, no smoky-glass prose He made me see that absolutely everything
was important in a short story. It was of consequence where the commas and periods went.
This attention to detail is precisely why Raymond Carver acquired a reputation as a short story
master; rarely, if ever, was a word or a series of words purposeless and uncertain. His prose was
tight and emphatic, and his phrases never dangled or were superfluous. His craftsmanship
honed his work to its essence. There arent many Raymond Carvers in this world, but each of
us can learn some important things from the way he approached his writing. Sentence structure
and punctuation were crucial, the proper word was essential, and what was omitted as
important as what was inserted.
Which brings us to adverbs and adjectives. Clearly, Carver would cast a suspicious eye on these
forms of speech because many times they add little to what is already on the page. Frequently,
they are not important, and in a short story, that means they have no business there.
Many inexperienced writers throw in pretty words to make their prose more dramatic and
meaningful. But such cosmetic touch-up often turns out to be redundant or simply uninspiring.
Take adverbs such as lovingly or speedily or haltingly. They each point to some
circumstance or emotion or movement, yet do they offer solid impact?
He whispered to her lovingly
She zoomed around the oval speedily
He stuttered haltingly
In the last two instances, the verbs themselves provide the acting and the emotion in the
sentences; the adverbs merely underscore what the verb has already described. Is it possible to
zoom without doing so speedily or to stutter without doing it in halting fashion? These
are redundancies, and they do little for the prose except to give it an awkward cast.
The stone sank quickly
The fire truck bell clanged loudly
How else would a stone sink but quickly? How else would a fire truck bell clang but loudly?
The key is to gauge the relationship of the adverb and the verb it modifies: Are they saying
essentially the same thing? If so, there is a redundancy, and the adverb should come outfast!
It isnt only redundancies that adverbs can generate. They also encourage lazy writing. Take the
earlier example, he whispered to her lovingly I suppose he could whisper many things,

including words, which are loving, but somehow the adverbial tail seems a lazy way out. By
using lovingly the writer is reallyand weve heard this beforetelling instead of showing.
Far more dramatic would be to write:
He whispered words of love my sweet, dear lover, my angel he purred his
contentment, his joy
No adverb here, and the drama is enhanced. Ive shown those things that he whispered
lovingly, and the reader has to be more
involved in the story.
It has become a clich to use the adverbial tail time and time again. In addition to minimizing
the dramatic effect of the action, it grinds on the readers ear (remember, readers hear as well
as read). All those words ending in -ly, not doing much for the sentence, not creating much of
a word picture Who could blame readers for wondering why the words were there in the
first place?
And who could blame these same readers for laying the book aside? Most adverbs, says
William Zinsser, are unnecessary. Hes right. And when its important to prettify your prose,
there are better ways to do it.
Not with adjectives, though. These suffer the same general malady as adverbsusually they
are too numerous, they clutter up our writing, and they can turn a deft phrase into a ponderous
mass. Consider:
The house had an empty feeling to it, the air stale with undefined kitchen odors
This is a tight, dramatic description. But what happens when I add more adjectives to prettify
it?
The dark, dreary house had an empty, suspicious feel to it, the thick air stale and sour with
undefined, scary kitchen odors
Do all these adjectives add much at all? An empty house implies something strange and
sinister, so do I need suspicious? Do I also need dark, dreary? An empty house might be
these things as well, but Im not unmindful that a sinister house may also be bright and sunlit
(though it does stretch my credibility a bit). At least, though, I should dispense with one of the
two adjectives, either dark or dreary because taken together, they are a well-recognized
clich and they almost mean the same thing.
But note the other bits of overwriting: if the air were stale, wouldnt it also be thick? And
wouldnt it be sour, as well?
Mark Twain had it right: As to the Adjective: when in doubt, strike it out. The tendency is to
try and beef up the noun being modified. Its human, I suppose; most of us can never be that
sure were getting our point across. Decorate that noun some more, your fragile self-confidence
hears. Dont run the risk the prose will fall flat because it isnt distinctive enough.
Ah you think, a little word or two, here and there itll catch the readers
attention, itll keep her reading

Well, yes and no. Yes, it might certainly catch the readers attention, but never underestimate
the kind of attention that could
be. Try negative attention, the kind that might push the reader away from the prose. Consider:
He was cheered by the friendly smiles
He spied a group of dirty street-urchins
Do the adjectives friendly and dirty add anything to the sentences? Read the words without
adjectives Now read them with the adjectives inserted. Is anything more provided by
including the adjectives? They contain the thought thats already in the noun they modify, so
they arent doing anything for the sentences except taking up space. Arent smiles usually
friendly? Arent street-urchins usually dirty? Why the adjectives, then?
The short answer is that youre trying to prettify your prose, to give it a lushness that will settle
on the reader. Adjectives are a way of lengthening your sentences and providing a more
complicated word picture, and this, in turn, will intrigue the reader because there will seem to
be substance in the prose. The reader will experience more, and hence, the reader will enjoy it
more.
But misplaced adjectives can do as much damage as botched-up syntax. If the adjectives are
there only to prettify the prose, they should be eliminated. The key is, adjectives should be used
only when they highlight something the noun cant highlight. For example:
He slipped into the darkened alley
Not all alleys are dark, so now you know this one will be. But suppose this had read:
He slipped into the narrow alley
Alleys are usually narrow (if they arent narrow, theyre called streets or roads), so the
adjective isnt telling any more than is offered by the noun. This is prettifying the prose, and
it isnt pretty at all. Reach for adjectives that give more information than can already be found
in the nounwhen, in fact, an adjective should be used at all. Frankly, most adjectives are not
needed. What benefits they offer are usually much less than the havoc they create.
Some years ago, a wise man (with perhaps a sexist bent) said, pick adjectives the way you
would diamonds or a mistress
Carefully, he meant, so carefully.

DEFINING AND DEVELOPING YOUR ANTIHERO

If you dare to write about less-than-charming characters, you dont need to redeem them with
an ending in which they see the error of their ways, mend their faults, and allow their flinty
hearts to be transformed into a choir loft of goodness. You see, Hollywood movies have greatly
influenced audience expectations to such a degree that bad people are expected to become
good, endings are expected to be tidy and hopeful, and outcomes are expected to be laced with
sunshine. Fiction can, and should, mimic life, with all its messes and discomfort and disquiet.
Fiction should also prove just how complicated and troubled many people are.
In fiction, sometimes its difficult to categorize the various character types, especially when the
characters morality cannot be easily defined. This chapter is about a kind of protagonist
meaning hes the focus character in the storywho sometimes has the morality weve
traditionally come to associate with bad guys, which is where the term anti-hero comes from.
An anti-hero is a protagonist who is as flawed or more flawed than most characters; he is
someone who disturbs the reader with his weaknesses yet is sympathetically portrayed, and
who magnifies the frailties of humanity.
In days of old, especially in the eighteenth century, protagonists were often heroes and
antagonists were usually villains, and they were often depicted in stories as either good or evil,
clearly delineated as black and white. My hope is that this chapter, and the book as a whole,
will prove that, as in real life, characters come in many shades and types. An anti-hero is a
protagonist who typically lacks the traditional traits and qualities of a hero, such as
trustworthiness, courage, and honesty. If he were assigned a color, it would be gray.
Often, an anti-hero is unorthodox and might flaunt laws or act in ways contrary to societys
standards. In fact, and this is important, an anti-hero often reflects societys confusion and
ambivalence about morality, and thus he can be used for social or political comment. While an
anti-hero cannot slip into a white hat, he will always:

have the readers sympathies, although sometimes his methods will make this difficult.
have easily identified imperfections.
be made understandable by the story events, meaning that the reader will come to know
his motivations and likely will be privy to his inner demons.
have a starring role in the story.

An anti-hero is often a bad ass, a maverick, or a screw-up. You might want to picture Paul
Newman playing the title character in the film Cool Hand Luke, Clint Eastwood as Harry
Callahan in Dirty Harry, or Bruce Willis playing John McClane in Die Hardslightly scruffy
and worn, sometimes moral, but sometimes not. If the character is a woman, perhaps her slip is
showing and her lipstick is smeared, she sleeps with men she doesnt know well, and she often
cannot fit into traditional womens roles.

An anti-hero can also play the part of an outsider or lonera little man. This kind of antihero often possesses a fragile self-esteem, has often failed at love, and is sometimes estranged
from people from his past. Perhaps the best-known anti-hero of our time is Tony Soprano of the
television series The Sopranos. Bridget Jones of Helen Fieldings Bridget Joness Diary, Sam
Spade of Dashiell Hammetts The Maltese Falcon, Philip Marlow in Raymond Chandlers
stories, Gulliver of Jonathan Swifts Gullivers Travels, and Randall McMurphy of Ken Keseys
One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest are also well-known anti-heroes. The reader loves these
characters because they are realistic and relatablejust like the people in the readers life,
theyre imperfect and roiling with contradictions.
Anti-heroes can be rebels in search of freedom or justice, and theyre usually willing to take the
law into their own hands. They often occupy a gray area between good guy and bad guyJohn
D. MacDonalds Travis McGee comes to mind, as does Jack Sparrow in the Pirates of the
Caribbean films. Robin Hood was an anti-hero, as was Wolf Larsen in Jack Londons The SeaWolf. Of course, there have always been real-life anti-heroes, such as Butch Cassidy and the
Sundance Kid, Wild Bill Hickock, Calamity Jane, and Bonnie and Clyde. Sometimes fast
living, sometimes an outcast, and never superhuman, this character type provides you with lots
of latitude in exploring themes and issues, often amid a true-to-life environment.
Anti-heroes can be obnoxious, pitiful, or charming, but they are always failed heroes or deeply
flawed. Often riddled with paradoxical traits and qualities, they resemble real people more than
any other type of fictional characters do, and they are increasingly popular these days in fiction,
film, and television.
One of the most important qualities to remember is that anti-heroes rarely, if ever, reflect
societys higher valuesor what we like to think of as our societys values; their thinking and
values are often antithetical to those of the norm. For example, the sort of traits valued by most
members of societysuch as honesty, strength, integrity, and compassionwill not always be
exhibited by an anti-hero in a story. Or, he might have a character arc where he grudgingly
adopts some of these traits. Traditional depictions of fictional characters meant that main
players were good guys with traits that we all want to emulate. Anti-heroes turn that
assumption upside down.
And here is the trick to creating anti-heroes: They always possess an underlying pathos. Most
characters come with flaws, neuroses, and issues. But with an anti-hero, these problems are
more noticeable and troublesome, and they sometimes get in the way of forming intimate
attachments. There is always something that is screwing up the anti-heros plan, and that
something is usually from his past. A story with an anti-hero in a starring role might depict how
a person cannot easily escape from the past, particularly deep losses.

Characteristics of an Anti-Hero
It takes a fine hand to draw an anti-hero because this character requires a great deal of nuance
to arouse complicated reactions in the reader. As weve just discussed, an anti-hero is a
character that the reader roots for, despite his flaws and the bad things hes done or how he
justifies these misdeeds. Sometimes the anti-hero is able to toe the line between good and evil,
but often hes a danger to himself and others. Sometimes an anti-hero also has remarkable
ability to compartmentalize. Perhaps he kills an enemy or a bad guy, then in the next scene
shows up at a kids birthday party, apparently unruffled by his recent grisly task.

Like all main characters, understanding an anti-heros character arc is crucial in designating his
role in your story. After all, youll need to know if his good behavior is accidental, or if he is
redeemed by the storys events. One trick to creating an anti-hero is to fashion his primary traits
so that his essential nature and personality are clear to you as you craft each scene he appears
in. Then you need to know the why of these traits and beliefsin essence, how he came to be.
If your character is lawless, rebellious, or obnoxious, it is likely that your character will
somehow justify these behaviors.
An anti-hero is not simply a bad ass who cannot follow the rules. The reasons for why he acts
as he does, along with his self-concept, are important to the story. Another trick to creating a
complicated anti-hero is to shape his less-than-moral traits and acts into a profound statement
about humanity. As you create anti-hero characters, consider that they:

are not role models, although we secretly would like to kick ass like they do.
can be selfish and essentially bad people who occasionally are good.
are sometimes unglamorous and unattractive in character as well as in appearance.
can be motivated by self-interest and self-preservation, but there is usually a line antiheroes wont cross, which sets them apart from villains.
often have motives that are complicated and range from revenge to honor.
forced to choose between right and wrong, will sometimes choose wrong because its
easier.
can play both sides with good guys and bad guys, profiting from both.
can sometimes be coerced to help underdogs, children, or weaker characters, and they
sometimes do so voluntarily.
can embody unattractive traits and behaviors, such as sexist and racist attitudes, and
violent reactions when wronged.
can show little or no remorse for bad behaviors.
are usually a mess of contradictions.

Heroes Versus Anti-Heroes: Identifying the Differences

The role of a hero as the main player who drives the story has been around for centuries.
Heroes somehow embody the forces of good and overcome great odds to succeed in the story.
In classical stories, a hero was always extraordinary, might have divine ancestry, and was more
of a demi-god than human. Hercules is this type of hero.
Over time, the term hero came to be no longer associated with god-like types, but instead came
to mean an extraordinary man or woman who overcame great obstacles, who often sacrificed
him- or herself for a cause, who displayed courage when facing the storys problems, and who
held moral and exemplary traits. Heroes appeared in myths, epic poems, operas, fairy tales,
and, in fact, most story types.
But so the story contains suspense, heroes are never perfect; in fact, in the tradition of Aristotle,
they possess a fatal flaw that can be their undoing. But because they are heroes, part of their

quest is to rise above this flaw so that their grace, perseverance, and greatness of spirit can
inspire and uplift readers. Heroes in fiction are also designed to learn from their mistakes; often
they rise from the ashes to defeat the bad guys.
In many of the character types discussed in this book, there are no absolutes, as in a villain
will always be 100 percent evil or a hero will 100 percent good. If there were absolute truths
about every character type, it would make our jobs as writers easier, but wed also end up with
parodies or caricatures of the human condition. Likewise, anti-heroes can be difficult to classify
because they vary so broadly, and there are few absolute traits shared by every type. Youll
know an anti-hero is in story because hes in the starring role though his morals and motives are
questionable, and despite his moral traits, or lack thereof, you will still sympathize with him.
Here are some general differences that I hope will clarify on which side of morality youll find
an anti-hero, and how an anti-hero is the antithesis of a traditional hero:

A hero is an idealist.

A hero has a conventional moral code.

A hero is somehow extraordinary.

A hero is always proactive and striving.

A hero is often decisive.

A hero is a modern version of a knight in shining armor.

A hero succeeds at his ultimate goals, unless the story is a tragedy.

A hero is motivated by virtues, morals, a higher calling, pure intentions, and love for a
specific person or humanity.
An anti-hero can be motivated by a more primitive, lower nature, including greed or lust,
through much of the story, but he can sometimes be redeemed and answer a higher
calling near the end.

A hero is motivated to overcome flaws and fears, and to reach a higher level. This higher

An anti-hero is a realist.

An anti-hero has a moral code that is quirky and individual.

An anti-hero can be ordinary.

An anti-hero can be passive.

An anti-hero can be indecisive or pushed into action against his will.

An anti-hero can be a tarnished knight, and sometimes a criminal.

An anti-hero might fail in a tragedy, but in other stories he might be redeemed by the
storys events, or he might remain largely unchanged, including being immoral.

level might be about self-improvement, a deeper spiritual connection, or trying to save

humankind from extinction. His motivation and usually altruistic nature lends courage
and creativity to his cause. Often, a hero makes sacrifices in the story for the better of
others.
An anti-hero, while possibly motivated by love or compassion at times, is most often
propelled by self-interest.
A hero (usually when he is the star of the story in genre fiction, such as Westerns)
concludes the story on an upward arc, meaning hes overcome something from within or
has learned a valuable lesson in the story.
An anti-hero can appear in mainstream or genre fiction, and the conclusion will not
always find him changed, especially if hes a character in a series.
A hero always faces monstrous opposition, which essentially makes him heroic in the
first place. As hes standing up to the bad guys and troubles the world hurls at him, he
will take tremendous risks and sometimes battle an authority. His stance is always based
on principles.
An anti-hero also battles authority and sometimes go up against tremendous odds, but
not always because of principles. His motives can be selfish, criminal, or rebellious.
A hero simply is a good guy, the type of character the reader was taught to cheer for
since childhood.
An anti-hero can be a bad guy in manner and speech. He can cuss, drink to excess, talk
down to others, and back up his threats with fists or a gun, yet the reader somehow
sympathizes with or genuinely likes him and cheer him on.
A hero can be complex, but he is generally unambivalent; an anti-hero is a complicated
character who reflects the ambivalence of many real people.
An anti-heros actions and ways of thinking demand that the reader think about issues
and ask difficult questions.

3 TIPS FOR WRITING SUCCESSFUL

FLASHBACKS
Some stories behave conveniently for their authors: They take place in several consecutive
scenes not very far apart in time, and everything the reader needs to know is contained in those
scenes. Such stories are easy to structure. You start when the action starts, write sequentially to
the end of the action and stop.
Then there are the other stories. The ones that take place all over the temporal map: scenes in
the storys present, scenes from the protagonists childhood that are needed to understand the
storys present, scenes from halfway across the country the Tuesday before the story began. All
of these scenes, you have determined, are utterly necessary to the story. You cant dump any of
them. To create any sort of coherent structure for this story, you are going to need flashbacks.
Flashbacks offer many pitfalls. This is because even the best-written flashback carries a built-in
disadvantage: It is, by definition, already over. The scene you are detailing in your flashback
isnt happening in story time. It happened sometime earlier, and so we are being given old
information. Like old bread, old information is never as fresh or tasty as new bread. The
flashback lacks immediacy.
But offsetting this inherent disadvantage are the several advantages a good flashback can bring
to a story. It can make plausible a characters motives, by showing what events in his past
compel him to act the way he is now. It can fill in events that show how the story situation
reached the exciting state its in now. And it can present crucial information that happened so
long ago, that there is simply no other way to include it.
Consider an example of the last case. Your story concerns the behavior of your protagonist,
Gary, toward his teenage son, Jack, who has just been arrested for illegal possession of
firearms. Garys own father was shot during a robbery when Gary was a child, and he
witnessed the killing. This memory shapes all his behavior toward Jack. How do you convey to
the reader what guns mean to Gary? You have three choices:

Tell the reader in exposition, or have Gary ruminate about his fathers murder. The
problem is that the scene is too vital and dramatic for either exposition or expository
memory. Youd be missing a strong opportunity to make your story affect the reader
viscerally.
Start the story with the murder, then jump ahead 30 years to Jacks arrest. This would be
fatally clumsy. The story would seem to start twice, because the time leap is so long, and
chances are very good that the reader would stop reading on the grounds that you dont
seem to know what youre doing.
Use a flashback. When a flashback is the best choice, it will still lack immediacy;
however, you can minimize this drawback and maximize the flashbacks advantages by
following three simple guidelines.

Time travel done right

1. Your flashback should follow a strong scene.
This means that the flashback is never the first scene. Its not even the second scene following a
brief, sketchy, introductory scene like the following:
Gary stared out his kitchen window. Cold rain beat on the brown grass and bare
trees. It took him back to that other rainy day thirty years ago, the day that had
changed Garys life forever
The reason this is not an adequate first scene to support a flashback is that its not really a scene
at all. Nothing happens except weather. We have no idea who Gary is, so we dont care about
his past. Why should we? As far as were concerned, he doesnt yet have a present.
A far stronger approach is to start your story with a scene in story time. It should be an
interesting, vivid scene, which brings its character(s) to life for us. It should contain action
pertinent to the storys central concern, whether thats a murder, a family argument or a
personal internal crisis. It should also go on long enough to really get us into the story. Then
you can use the flashback as your second scene.
What if your story contains more than one flashback? In that case, I hope its either a novel or a
long short story. Most of what you write should actually occur in story time (with one
exception, which well get to later). If you do need two or more flashbacks, intersperse strong
present-story-time scenes among them. Dont go immediately from one flashback into an even
earlier one. The reader will likely become either confused or irritated, wondering when youre
going to actually get on with your main story.

Orient us at the start of the flashback in time and space.

The transition to some flashbacks are so clumsily written that the reader isnt even sure until
halfway through the scene that it is a flashback. Others let us know weve moved back in time,
but not how far or to what place. A reader who is expending energy trying to figure out where
and when she is now is not able to engage with your story.
The following flashback does a good job of transition. Its from Thomas Perrys mystery novel
Sleeping Dogs. Protagonist Michael Schaeffer, a former hit man, has just come upon the site of
a multiple murder:
All his old habits came back automatically. At a glance he assessed [everyone's]
posture and hands. Was there a man whose fingers curled in a little tremor when
their eyes met, a woman whose hand moved to rest inside her handbag? He knew all
the practical moves and involuntary gestures, and he scanned everyone, granting no
exceptions.He and Eddie had done a job like this one when he was no more than
twelve. Eddie had dressed him for baseball, and had even bought him a new glove to
carry folded under his arm. When they had come upon the man in the crowd, he
hadnt even seen them; his eyes were too occupied in studying the crowd for danger
to waste a moment on a little kid and his father walking home from a sandlot game.

As they passed the man

Theres no chance here that the reader will get lost. The author tells us in the first sentence of
the flashback that we have shifted in time. He tells us how much earlier we are now (when
Michael was 12), where we are (in a crowd of people) and who is present that matters
(Michael, Eddie and their potential victim). Make your transitions just as clear.

Use verb tense conventions to guide your reader in and out of the flashback.

Conventions have evolved about using verb tenses to signal both the start and end of
flashbacks. Although most readers dont consciously notice these tense shifts, the shifts register
below the level of consciousness to signal Now weve moved back in time and Now weve
left the flashback to rejoin story time. Using these conventions is the best way to keep your
reader from flashback confusion.
If your story is being told in the past tense, then write the first few verbs of the flashback in the

past perfect and the rest in simple past. For example, in the above excerpt, Perry tells story-time
events in the past tense (habits came back, he knew, he scanned.) To signal the start of
the flashback, Perry puts its first five verbs in past perfect (had done, had dressed, had
bought, had come, hadnt even seen). After that, he tells the rest of the flashback in past
tense (eyes were, they passed, etc.). The reason for this is that an entire flashback in past
perfect would be cumbersome, especially if its very long.
When youre ready to end the flashback, revert to past perfect for the last few verbs. Then use
past tense to resume story time. This is the way Perry comes out of the flashback quoted above:
As Eddie hustled him away, he had heard people saying something about heart
attacks and strokes. Bystanders had made way for them, apparently feeling sorry that
Eddies little boy had seen some stranger at the moment when a vessel in his brain
exploded.Schaeffer felt his pulse begin to settle down now.
What if your story is being told in present tense? The convention is even simpler. Put storytime action in present tense and put the entire flashback in past tense. When youre ready to
return to story time, simply resume present tense.

Framing your story

A frame story, which may be any length from a few thousand words to a long novel, is one
which begins after all the action is over. Someone, protagonist or author, announces that he is
going to tell a story. He may even give the entire outcome of the story ahead of time, as John
Irving does in the opening to A Prayer For Owen Meany:
I am doomed to remember a boy with a wrecked voice?not because of his voice, or
because he was the smallest person I ever knew, or even because he was the
instrument of my mothers death, but because he is the reason I believe in God; I am
a Christian because of Owen Meany.
And there you have many of the main events of the book. Why would Irving announce them

ahead of time, thereby robbing his novel of any suspense about whether the mother will
survive, whether the protagonist will recover his faith and (the frame is longer than Ive quoted
above) many other key events? He did it, presumably, because he thought he would gain more
than he lost. Although A Prayer For Owen Meanyhas sacrificed some immediacy, it has gained
the chance for the first-person protagonist to look back on these events and thus interpret them
as we go along. We get two perspectives: the young protagonist to whom all this is happening,
and the older person who can comment on what it eventually meant to him. The frame offers a
dual perspective, and the book is richer for it.
Consider this structure carefully before you use it for your story. Do you have an interesting
contrast between your youthful narrator and his later self? Interesting enough to sacrifice
having your reader feel she is experiencing the story as it happens, instead of being told about it
after its over? If so, try a frame. If not, save your flashbacks for use in the body of the work.
However you use flashbacks, they can add depth and interest to your characters. The past is
foreign country, L.P. Hartley said. Flashbacks let us, however briefly, visit that country.

17 WRITING SECRETS
1. Never save your best for last. Start with your best. Expend yourself immediately, then see
what happens. The better you do at the beginning, the better you continue to do.
2. The opening paragraph, sentence, line, phrase, word, titlethe beginning is the most
important part of the work. It sets the tone and lets the readers know youre a commanding
writer.
3. The first duty of a writer is to entertain. Readers lose interest with exposition and abstract
philosophy. They want to be entertained. But they feel cheated if, in the course of entertaining,
you havent taught them something.
4. Show, dont tell or editorialize. "Not ideas about the thing, but the thing itself."Wallace
Stevens
5. Voice is more important than image. "Poetry is not a thing, but a way of saying it."A.E.
Housman
6. Story is more important than anything. Readers (and publishers) care a lot less about craft
than content. The question they ask isnt, "How accomplished is the writer?" but, "How good is
the story?"
7. These rules, pressed far enough, contradict each other. Such is the nature of rules for art.
8. All writing records conflict. Give the opposition quality attention and good lines. The power
of the the antagonists should equal that of the protagonists.
9. Shift focus often. Vary sentence structure and type; jump back and forth in time and place;
make a good mix of narration, description, exposition and dialogue.
10. Be careful of your diction. A single word, like a drop of iodine in a gallon of water, can
change the color of your entire manuscript.
11. Provide readers with closure. The last sentences of the novel echo something that happened
earlier. Life comes full circle. "If I have a pistol in my first chapter, a pistol ends the book."
Ann Rule
12. By the end of the work, the conflict should reach some satisfactory resolution. Not always a
"happily ever after" ending, but something should be finalized.
13. Revise, revise. You never get it on the first try. Art shows up in rewriting.
14. Avoid excessive use of adjectives and adverbs; trust the precision of your nouns and verbs.
Verb form: the shorter the better. Avoid helping verbs and progressives. Avoid passive voice.
Avoid cliche and stock phrases.
15. Be interesting with every sentence. Be brief. Hemingways first editor at the Kansas City
Star gave him this style sheet: "Use short sentences. Use short first paragraphs. Use vigorous
English. Be positive, not negative." Hemingway later referred to that list as "the best rules I
ever learned for the business of writing."

16. If you can be misread, you will be.

17. There are no rules for good writing. Those who break the "rules" successfully are the true
artists. But: learn, practice and master the rules first. "You cannot transcend what you do not
know."Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

USING STRONG VERBS

Whether you are competing for a job, a client, or the attention of a busy audience, one of the
best ways of grabbing and keeping a reader is to use strong, descriptive verbs.
Compare the previous sentence to this one:
To compete for a job, client, or any busy audience, use active verbs to grab and keep the
readers attention.
Do you feel the improved strength and style in the second sentence? You can eliminate
wordiness and boredom by replacing "to be" verbs with more powerful ones. Of course, you
would never want to cut out all forms of "to be" (am, is, are, was, were, be, being, been), but
analyze the distribution of weak and strong verbs in your writing and then edit for maximum
impact on your audience.
You can also condense and strengthen sentences by editing strings of prepositional phrases and
using a strong verb instead.
Weak: I was a manager of a group of six people.
Strong: I managed a six-person group.
Weak: She was responsible for collecting all the data for the school project.
Strong: She collected all the school project data.

About Passive Voice

Passive voice constructions frequently annoy many readers. OR, to put it passively, many
readers are annoyed by this type of sentence construction. (There's that "be" verb again,
followed by the past participle of another perfectly good verb!)
Passive: Customers should be seated no later than five minutes after they enter the diner.
Active: The hostess should seat customers no later than five minutes after they enter.
Passive: Teachers are accused by many parents of treating students unfairly.
Active: Many parents accuse teachers of treating students unfairly.
By the way, passive voice is not actually grammatically incorrect--it's just more wordy. It can
come in handy at times when you don't know the subject of the verb, or when you don't need to
mention or emphasize it. For example...
The bank was robbed Tuesday at midnight. OR
Our local congressman was recently caught in a compromising position.
In these two sentences, passive voice is the simplest way to state the facts.

SOME STRONG VERBS

distinguish
inquire
resemble
reflect
appear

refute
accomplish
symbolize
consider
process

expose
represent
influence
contradict
transform

exist
express
regard
value
analyze

present
base
act
educate
undergo

impact
personify
convey
supply
emerge
develop
note
serve
administer
tackle
consolidate
prioritize
design

discuss
challenge
exhibit
presume
evoke
claim
encourage
outline
streamline
persuade
supervise
upgrade
manage

preserve
eradicate
demand
assume
portray
state
describe
incorporate
operate
expedite
maintain
install
promote

suffer
abolish
offer
experience
display
argue
reveal
achieve
create
project
recommend
launch
overcome

struggle
embody
believe
impress
organize
evolve
define
delegate
establish
involve
coach
solve
deliver

EXAMPLES
1. He was a strong king.
Revised: He emerged as a strong king.
2. Tolstoy is recognized as one of the most influential Russian novelists.
Revised: Readers recognize Tolstoy as one of the most influential Russian novelists.
3. I was the supervisor of a multi-million dollar advertising campaign.
Revised: I supervised a multi-million dollar advertising campaign.
4. She was responsible for managing fourteen full-time employees
Revised: She managed fourteen full-time employees.

BODY LANGUAGE: LIST OF MOVEMENTS

Eyes, Brows and Forehead
arched a sly brow: sly, haughty
blinked owlishly: just waking, focusing, needs glasses
brows bumped together in a scowl: worried, disapproving, irritated
brows knitted in a frown: worried, disapproval, thoughtful
bug-eyed: surprised, fear, horror
cocky wink and confident smile: over confidence, arrogant, good humor, sexy humor
eyes burned with hatred: besides hatred this might suggest maniacal feelings
eyes flashed: fury, defiance, lust, promise, seduction
eyes rolled skyward: disbelief, distrust, humor
forehead puckered: thoughtful, worried, irritation
frustration crinkled her eyes
gaze dipped to her dcolletage: sexual interest, attraction, lust
gimlet-eyed/narrowed eyes: irritation, thoughtful, mean, angry
gleam of deviltry: humor, conniving, cunning
kept eye contact but her gaze became glazed: pretending interest where there is none/bordom
narrowed to crinkled slits: angry, distrust
nystagmic eyes missed nothing (constantly shifting eyes): Shifty
pupils dilated: interested, attraction to opposite sex, fear
raked her with freezing contempt
slammed his eyes shut: stunned, furious, pain
squinted in a furtive manner: fearful, sneaky
stared with cow eyes: surprised, disbelief, hopeful, lovestruck
subtle wink: sexy, humor/sharing a joke, sarcasm
unrelenting stare: distrust, demanding, high interest, unyielding

Place To Place, Stationary Or Posture

ambled away: relaxed, lazy
barged ahead: rude, hurried
battled his way through the melee: desperate, anger, alarm
cruised into the diner: easy-going, feeling dapper, confident
dawdled alongside the road: lazy, deliberate delay for motives, unhurried, relaxed
dragged his blanket in the dirt: sadness/depressed, weary
edged closer to him: sneaky, seeking comfort, seeking protection, seeking an audience
he stood straighter and straightened his tie: sudden interest, sexual attraction
held his crotch and danced a frantic jig: demonstrates physical condition he has to pee
hips rolled and undulated: sexy walk, exaggerating for sex appeal
hovered over them with malice/like a threatening storm: here its malice, but one may hover for
many reasons.
hunched over to look shorter: appear inconspicuous, ashamed of actions, ashamed of height
leaped into action feet hammering the marbled floor: eager, fear, joyous

long-legged strides: hurried, impatient

lumbered across: heavy steps of a big man in a hurry
minced her way up to him: timid, sneaky, insecure, dainty or pretense at dainty
paced/prowled the halls: worried, worried impatience, impatient, diligently seeking pivoted on
his heel and took off: mistaken and changes direction, following orders, hurried, abrupt change
of mind, angry retreat
plodded down the road: unhurried, burdened, reluctant
practiced sensual stroll: sexy, showing off
rammed her bare foot into her jeans: angry, rushed
rocked back and forth on his heels: thoughtful, impatiently waiting
sagged against the wall: exhausted, disappointment
sallied forth: confident, determined
sashayed her cute little fanny: confident, determined, angered and determined
shrank into the angry crowd: fear, insecure, seeking to elude
sketched a brief bow and assumed a regal pose: confident, mocking, snooty, arrogant skidded to
an abrupt halt: change of heart, fear, surprise, shock
skulked on the edges of the crowd: sneaky, ashamed, timid
slithered through the door: sneaky, evil, bad intentions
stormed toward her, pulling up short when: anger with a sudden surprise
swaggered into the class room: over confident, proud, arrogant, conceited
tall erect posture: confidence, military bearing
toe tapped a staccato rhythm: impatience, irritation
tottered/staggered unsteadily then keeled over: drunk, drugged, aged, ill
waltzed across the floor: happy, blissful, exuberant, conceited, arrogant

Head Movement
cocked his head: curiosity, smart-alecky, wondering, thoughtful
cocked his head left and rolled his eyes to right corner of the ceiling: introspection
droop of his head: depressed, downcast, hiding true feelings
nodded vigorously: eager
tilted her head to one side while listening: extreme interest, possibly sexual interest

Mouth And Jaw

a lackluster smile: feigning cheerfulness
cigarette hung immobile in mouth: shock, lazy, uncaring, relaxed casualness
clinched his jaw at the sight: angered, worried, surprised
curled her lips with icy contempt
expelled her breath in a whose: relief, disappointment
gagged at the smell: disgust, distaste
gapped mouth stare: surprised, shock, disbelief
gritted his teeth: anger, irritation, holding back opinion
inhaled a sharp breath: surprise, shock, fear, horror
licked her lips: nervous, sexual attraction
lips primed: affronted, upset, insulted
lips pursed for a juicy kiss

lips pursed like shed been chewing a lemon rind: dislike, angry, irritated, sarcasm
lips screwed into: irritation, anger, grimace, scorn
lips set in a grim line: sorrow, worried, fear of the worst
pursed her lips: perturbed, waiting for a kiss
scarfed down the last biscuit: physical hunger, greed
slack-mouthed: total shock, disbelief
slow and sexy smile: attraction, seductive, coy
smacked his lips: anticipation
smile congealed then melted into horror
smile dangled on the corner of his lips: cocky, sexy
smirked and tossed her hair over her shoulder: conceit, sarcasm, over confident
sneered and flicked lint off his suit: sarcasm, conceit
spewed water and spit: shock
stuck out her tongue: humor, sarcasm, teasing, childish
toothy smile: eagerness, hopeful
wary smile surfaced on her lips

Nose
nose wrinkled in distaste/at the aroma
nostrils flared: anger, sexual attraction
nose in the air: snooty, haughty

Face in General
crimson with fury
handed it over shame-faced
jutted his chin: confident, anger, forceful
managed a deadpan expression: expressionless
muscles in her face tightened: unsmiling, concealing emotions, anger, worried
rested his chin in his palm and looked thoughtful
rubbed a hand over his dark stubble: thoughtful, ashamed of his appearance
screwed up her face: anger, smiling, ready to cry, could almost be any emotion
sneered and flicked lint off his suit: conceit, derision, scorn

Arm and Hand

a vicious yank
arm curled around her waist, tugging her next to him: possessive, pride, protective
bit her lip and glanced away: shy, ashamed, insecure
brandished his fist: anger, threatening, ready to fight, confident, show of pride
clamped his fingers into tender flesh: anger, protective, wants to inflict pain
clenched his dirty little fists: stubborn, angry
clapped her hands on her hips, arms crooked like sugar bowel handles: anger, demanding,
disbelief
constantly twirled her hair and tucked it behind her ear: attracted to the opposite sex, shy
crossed his arms over his chest: waiting, impatient, putting a barrier
crushed the paper in his fist: anger, surrender, discard

dived into the food: hunger, eager, greedy

doffed his hat: polite gesture, mocking, teasing
doodled on the phone pad and tapped the air with her foot: bored, inattention, introspection
drummed her fingers on the desk: impatient, frustrated, bored
fanned her heated face with her hands: physically hot, embarrassed, indicating attraction
fiddled with his keys: nervous, bored
firm, palm to palm hand shake: confident, honest
flipped him the bird: sarcastic discard
forked his fingers through his hair for the third time: disquiet/consternation, worry, thoughtful
handed it over shame-faced: guilt, shame
held his crotch and danced a frantic jig: physical need to relieve himself
limp hand shake: lack of confidence, lack of enthusiasm
propped his elbow on his knee: relaxed, thoughtful
punched her pillow: restless, cant sleep, angry
rested his chin in his palm: thoughful, worried
scratched his hairy belly and yawned: indolent, bored, lazy, relaxed, just waking
shoulders lifted in a shrug: doubtful, careless discard
slapped his face in front of God and country: enraged, affronted/insulted
snapped a sharp salute: respect, sarcastic gesture meaning the opposite of respect
snapped his fingers, expecting service: arrogant, lack of respect, self-centered
sneered and flicked lint off his suit
spread her arms wide: welcoming, joy, love
stabbed at the food: anger, hunger, determined
stood straighter and smoothed his tie: sudden interest, possible sexual interest
stuffed his hands in his pockets: self-conscious, throwing up a barrier
sweaty handshake: nervous, fearful
touched his arm several times while explaining: sign of attraction, flattery, possessive
wide sweep of his arms: welcoming, all inclusive gesture, horror

Sitting or Rising
collapsed in a stupor: exhausted, drunk, drugged, disbelief
enthroned himself at the desk: conceit, pronouncing or taking ownership
exploded out of the chair: shock, eager, anger, supreme joy
roosted on the porch rail like a cock on a hen house roof: claiming ownership, conceit, content
sat, squaring an ankle over one knee: relaxed and open
slouched/wilted in a chair and paid languid attention to: drowsy, lazy, depressed, disinterest,
sad, totally relaxed, disrespectful
squirmed in his chair: ill at ease, nervous, needs the bathroom

Recline
flung himself into the bed: sad, depressed, exhausted, happy
prostrated himself: surrender, desperate, miserable, powerless, obsequious, fawning, flattering
punched her pillow: cant sleep, anger, frustrated
threw himself on the floor kicking and screaming: tantrum

Entire body and General

body stiffened at the remark: offended, anger, alerted

body swayed to music: dreamy, fond memories, enjoys the music
bounced in the car seat, pointing: excitement, fear, eager
cowered behind his brother: fear, shyness, coward, desperate
curled into a ball: sorrow, fear, sleepy, defensive
heart galloping: anxiety, joy, eager
held his crotch and danced a frantic jig
humped over his cane, each step shaking and careful: pain, aged
inhaled a deep breath and blew out slowly: buying time to find words/thoughtful, reconciled
quick and jerky like rusty cogs on a wheel: unsure of actions, self-conscious, tense, edgy
rocked back and forth on his heels: impatient, cocky, gleeful
manhandled the woman into a corner: bully, anger
slumped shoulders: defeat, depressed, sad, surrender
stiff-backed: priggish, haughty, affronted
stood straighter and straightened his tie: sexual interest, wants to make an impression
stooped and bent: aged, arthritic, in pain
stretched extravagantly and yawned: tired, bored, unconcerned
sweating uncontrollably: nervous, fear, guilt
tall erect posture: confidence, military bearing
was panting now at: afraid, exhausted, out of breath, sexual excitement

DESCRIPTIVE WORDS FOR MOOD

Ambiguous: open to or having several possible meanings interpretations.
Ambivalent: having mixed feelings about someone or something
Exuberant: full of enthusiasm; abundant
Livid: furious; ashen: very pale, especially unnaturally so
Morose: gloomy
Raucous: unpleasantly loud
Vivacious: lively and high-spirited

DESCRIPTIVE WORDS FOR TOUCH AND

FEEL
Feathery: resembling feathers
Satiny: smooth; glossy
Tepid: lukewarm; unenthusiastic
Velvety: smooth and mellow

DESCRIPTIVE WORDS FOR SMELL

Acidy: sour
Acrid: unpleasantly pungent: unpleasantly strong and bitter in smell or taste
Aromatic: having fragrant smell: giving off a distinctive and pleasant smell
Balmy: pleasantly mild: pleasantly warm and mild in climate
Briny: salty: relating to, containing, or tasting like sea water
Dank: damp and cold: unpleasantly damp and cold
Gamy: rank-smelling: having a strong bad smell; lewd: sexually suggestive or obscene
Pungent: strong smelling or strong tasting: having a strong smell or a powerfully sharp or
bitter taste
Putrid: decaying with disgusting smell: rotting and giving off a foul smell
Rancid: with disagreeable taste: having the strong disagreeable smell or taste of decomposing
fats or oils
Savory: pleasant or agreeable in taste or smell
Stagnant: foul or stale:stale or impure from lack of motion, as a pool of water

DESCRIPTIVE WORDS FOR HEARING

(SOFT SOUNDS)
Murmur: continuous hum: a continuous low sound, often one that seems to be coming from
some distance away; something said quietly: something said that is either very quiet or sounds
indistinct
Mutter: grumble: to say something in a quiet voice, especially as a complaint or in annoyance
Patter: make quick tapping sound: to make a quick light tapping sound on something
Zing: sharp singing sound: a short high-pitched humming or buzzing sound, e.g. the sound of a
bullet whizzing through the air

DESCRIPTIVE WORDS FOR HEARING

(LOUD SOUNDS)
Bedlam: chaos: a place or situation full of noise, frenzied activity, and confusion
Bleat: make sheep's noise: to make the wavering cry of a sheep, goat, or calf; complain
annoyingly: to complain about something in an irritating way
Bluster: speak or say loudly or arrogantly: to speak loudly, boisterously, or arrogantly, or say
something in this way; blow loudly in gusts: to blow in sudden loud gusts
Bray: speak with harsh voice: to speak, laugh, or say something in a harsh high-pitched rasping
voice
Caterwaul: yowl: to make a loud howling noise
Clamor: a loud uproar, as from a crowd of people; noisy shouting
Din: a loud persistent noise, especially one composed of confused sounds
Discord: unpleasant musical combination
Pandemonium: noisy confused place; wild uproar and chaos
Raucous: unpleasantly loud
Tumult: a violent or noisy commotion

NEW TERMS
Pathos: quality that arouses pity
Ambivalent: unsure: having mixed feelings about something
Clandestine: needing to be concealed; secret
Idiosyncrasy: quirk; a way of behaving, thinking, or feeling that is peculiar to an individual or
group, especially an odd or unusual one

Palpable: intense; so intense as to be almost able to be felt physically

Morbid: showing a strong interest in unpleasant or gloomy subjects such as death, murder, or
accidents

Lament: to express grief or sorrow about something

Rudimentary: basic; undeveloped
Implore: to beg or request earnestly
Writhe: twist or squirm; to feel a strong emotion, especially embarrassment or shame, and
experience internal stress as a result of it

Regale: to entertain somebody; to give somebody plenty to eat and drink

Somber: dark and gloomy; dark in color
Brevity: briefness; use of few words
Exposition: detailed description or discussion; act of describing or discussing something
Eschew: abstain from
Tier: row of seats in rising series; layer; level in hierarchy
Arduous: difficult and tiring; steep or demanding
Contrived: not genuine; unrealistic

Optimum: best of several outcomes

Incorrigible: impossible or very difficult to change
Inadvertently: unintentional; no attentive
Complacent: self-satisfied and unaware of possible dangers; eager to please
Laden: heavily loaded; oppressed by something
Alleviate: to make easier to endure
Impromptu: done spontaneously; without prior preparation; a short piece of instrumental
music whose style gives an impression of improvisation.

Proviso: condition within agreement;

Ubiquitous: present everywhere at once, or seeming to be
Misconstrue: misunderstand or misinterpret
Seldom: rarely
Sordid: dirty and depressing
Benign: kindly; not life-threatening

Compendium: a comprehensive but brief account of a subject, especially in book form;

Coincide: happen at same time; be same in position or form; to agree exactly
Stalemate: situation with no possible winners
Malady: illness; a condition or situation that is problematic and requires a remedy