Hairspray!

Hairspray
Music: Marc Shaiman

Lyrics: Marc Shaiman, Scott Wittman
Book: Thomas Meehan, Mark O'Donnell
Premiere: Thursday, u!ust "#, $%%$
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'T (
P)OLO*+,: BLT(MO),, -+., "/0$
"1 *OOD MO).(.* BLT(MO),
T)'2
Oh, oh, oh
Woke up today
3eelin! the 4ay ( al4ays do
Oh, oh, oh
Hun!ry 5or somethin!
That ( can't eat
Then ( hear that 6eat
The rhythm o5 to4n
Starts callin! me do4n
(t's like a messa!e 5rom
Hi!h a6o7e
Oh, oh, oh
Pullin! me out
To the smiles and the
Streets that ( lo7e
T)'2 89 ,.S,MBL,:
*ood mornin! Baltimore
,7ery day's like an open door
,7ery ni!ht is a 5antasy
,7ery sound's like a symphony
nd some day 4hen ( take to the 5loor
The 4orld's !onna 4ake up and see
Baltimore and me
Oh, oh, oh
Look at my hair
What ;do; can compare 4ith mine today<
Oh, oh, oh,
('7e !ot my hairspray and radio
('m ready to !o
The rats on the street
ll dance round my 5eet
They seem to say
;Tracy, it's up to you;
So, oh, oh
Don't hold me 6ack
''ause today all my dreams 4ill come true
There's the 5lasher 4ho li7es ne=t door
There's the 6um on his 6ar room stool
They 4ish me luck on my 4ay to school
nd some day 4hen ( take to the 5loor
Baltimore and me
( kno4 e7ery step
( kno4 e7ery son!
( kno4 there's a place 4here ( 6elon!
( see all those party li!hts shinin! ahead
So someone in7ite me
Be5ore ( drop dead>
,.S,MBL,
Be5ore she drops dead>
T)'2 89 ,.S,MBL,:
So, Oh, Oh
*i7e me a chance
''ause 4hen ( start to dance i'm a mo7ie star
Oh, oh, oh
Somethin! inside o5 me makes me mo7e
When ( hear the !roo7e
My ma tells me no
But my 5eet tell me !o>
(t's like a drummer inside my heart
Oh, oh, oh
Don't make me 4ait
One more moment 5or my li5e to start111
,.S,MBL,
*ood mornin!, !ood mornin!
Waitin! 5or my li5e to start
T)'2 89 ,.S,MBL,:
( lo7e you Baltimore
,7ery day's like an open door
,7ery ni!ht is a 5antasy
,7ery sound's like a symphony
nd ( promise Baltimore
That some day 4hen
( take to the 5loor
*onna 4ake up and see
Baltimore and me111
,.S,MBL,
2es, More Or Less We ll !ree
T)'2
Baltimore and me111
,.S,MBL,
Someday the 4orld
(s !onna see
T)'2
Baltimore and me>
S',., ": T? STT(O. @ T)'2AS
$1 TH, .(',ST B(DS (. TOW.
'O).2
Hey there, Teena!e Baltimore>
Don't chan!e that channel>
''ause it's time 5or the 'orny
'ollins Sho4> Brou!ht to you 6y
+ltra 'lutch Hairspray>
'O).2 89 'O+.'(L M,MB,)S:
,7'ry a5ternoon
When the clock strikes 5our
86op&6ee&6a, 6a&6a&6a&6a, 6ee&6a:
craCy 6unch o5 kids
'rash throu!h that door
86op&6ee&6a, 6a&6a&6a&6a, 6ee&6a:
They thro4 o55 their coats
nd lea7e the sDuares 6ehind
nd then they shake it, shake it, shake it
Like they're losin! their mind
2ou'll ne7er see them 5ro4n
''ause they're the nicest kids in to4n
,7ery a5ternoon
2ou turn your T1?1 on
8na, na, na, na, na, na&na&na&na:
nd 4e kno4 you turn the sound up
When your parents are !one, yeah
8na, na, na, na, na, na&na&na&na:
nd then you t4ist and shout
3or your 5a7orite star
nd once you'7e practiced e7ery step
That's in your repertoire
2ou 6etter come on do4n
nd meet the nicest kids in to4n
8)unnin! 5rom school to TracyAs house:
T)'2
Hurry Penny, hurry, the sho4As already started> WeEre !onna miss it>
P,..2
(Em hurryin!, Tracy, 6ut my mother says (Em not allo4ed to perspire>
T)'2
'Amon>
8Back at TracyAs house1 ,dna and Prudy are talkin!1:
P)+D2
,dna, is my laundry ready<
,D.
Who 4ants to kno4< Sure is hon1 'ome on up1 That 4ill 6e three dollars1
P)+D2
ThatAs pretty pricely 5or a 5e4 pairs o5 pettipants1
,D.
(Am sorry, Prudy Pin!leton, 6ut there 4ere some e=tra char!es1 Some o5 your personal stains
reDuired poundin! on a rock1
8Tracy and Penny enter:1
T)'2
(Am home>
,D.
3our oAclock1 *uess ( donAt need to ask 4ho !ot detention a!ain1 Tracy Turn6lad, mind your
manners and say hello to our !uest1
T)'2
Hello, Mrs1 Pin!leton1
,D.
nd you, Penny<
P,..2
Hello Mrs1 Pin!leton111 ( mean111 mother1
,D.
Teena!ers1 They Fust lo7e 4atchin! that 'orny 'ollins1
P)+D2
DelinDuents1 (t ainAt ri!ht dancin! to that colored music1
,D.
DonAt 6e silly, it ainAt colored, the T?As 6lack and 4hite1
8Prudy e=its shakin! her head in disappro7al:1
P)+D2
Penny Pin!leton, come 6ack 6e5ore ( kill your !randmother, yesterday it 4as almost too late111
P,..2
2es mother, Fust keep a4ay 5rom the kni7es this time111
P)+D2
2eah yeah111 and remem6er111 you keep a4ay 5rom any kind o5 race e=presion111
P,..2
2es Mom1
'O).2
.ice 4hite kids
Who like to lead the 4ay
nd once a month
We ha7e our ;ne!ro day>;
nd i'm the man 4ho keeps it spinnin' round
Mr1 'orny 'ollins
With the latest, !reatest Baltimore sound>>
So e7ery a5ternoon
Drop e7erythin!
86op&6ee&6a, 6a&6a&6a&6a, 6ee&6a:
Who needs to read and 4rite
When you can dance and sin!<
86op&6ee&6a, 6a&6a&6a&6a, 6ee&6a:
3or!et a6out your al!e6ra
nd calculus
2ou can al4ays do your home4ork
On the mornin! 6us
'an't tell a 7er6 5rom a noun
They're the nicest kids in to4n
)oll 'all>>
'O+.'(L M,MB,)S
('m m6er>
Brad>
Tammy>
3ender>
Brenda>
Sketchy>
Shelley>
(1G1
Lou nn>
nd ('m111L(.B>
8ll o5 the !irls scream1:
T)'2
Oh Link> Biss me a!ain and a!ain>
,D.
Turn that racket do4n1 (Am tryin! to iron in here1
'O).2 89 'O+.'(L M,MB,)S:
So, i5 e7ery ni!ht you're shakin!
s you lie in 6ed
8mony&mony, ooh, mony&mony:
nd the 6ass and drums
re poundin! in your head
8mony&mony, ooh, mony&mony:
Who cares a6out sleep
When you can snooCe in
School<
They'll ne7er !et to colle!e
But they sure look cool
Don't need a cap and a !o4n
''ause they're the nicest
Bids in to4n
They're the nicest1 .icest
They're the nicest, nicest
They're the su!ar 'n' spicest,
The nicest kids in111
Bids in to4n>
'O).2
nd that 4as our ne4 dance o5 the 4eek, the Hstricken chickenI1 WeAll 6e ri!ht 6ack1
8Li!hts shi5t in the T? studio:1
?,LM
nd 4eAre o55> ll ri!ht, people, ho4 many times do ( ha7e to tell you< We do not pick our noses,
4hile on camera1 nd Tammy that thin! is horri6le, lose it1 2ou too, 3ender1
8The kids sadly turn a4ay to remo7e their paddin!:1
nd Link, stop ho!!in! the cameraJ youAre not ,l7is yet1 m6er111 ho! the camera1
MB,)
2es, mother1
?,LM
nd you, Mr 'ollins> .one o5 that Detroit sound today1 2ou ha7e somethin! a!ainst !ood music<
'O).2
The kids are Fust o7er the moon 5or rhythm and 6lues, ?elma1 They canAt !et enou!h1
?,LM
TheyAre kids, 'orny1 ThatAs 4hy 4e ha7e to steer them in the 4hite direction111 ( mean111 you kno4
4hat ( mean1
L(.B
m6er, (A7e !ot somethin! 5or you1 8O55ers his rin!:1 ( 5i!ured, since 4eA7e 6een !oin! to!ether sort
o5111 steadily111 may6e 4e should make it o55icial1
MB,)
Oh, Link1 2our 'ouncil Mem6er rin!1 Ho4 s4eet1 nd it matches my hair color e=actly>
?,LM
h, ah, ah> .one o5 that> Sa7e your personal li7es 5or the camera> nd 4eAre 6ack in 5i7e, 5our,
three111
'O).2
.o4 donAt 5or!et, !uys and *id!ets, our 7ery 5irst prime time spectacular is comin! up on -une 0th 1
WeAll 6e li7e at BaltimoreAs 6rand ne4 ,7entorium 6roadcastin! nation4ide>
Talent scouts 4ill arri7e 5rom all o5 the maFor record la6els, and sponsorin! the e7ent 4ill 6e none
other than our +ltra 'lutch Hairspray1 So, letAs !i7e a !reat 6i! 5a4nin! Baltimore salute to the
President o5 +ltra 'lutch, Mr1 SpritCer1
SP)(TK,)
+ltra clutch is happy to 6rin! you 5ine youn!sters to national attention1
LL
Our 6i! 6reak>
'O).2
lso li7e on the special, 4eAll 6e cro4nin! your choice 5or Miss Teena!e Hairspary "/0$>
MB,)
My 6i! 6reak>
8Back at TracyEs:
,D.
Well, isnAt she a lo7ely slim !irl1
T)'2
( !uess m6erAs pretty 6ut she canAt dance1
P,..2
Plastic little spastic1
T)'2
Oh no> (Am !onna kill mysel51 Look> SheAs 4earin! LinkAs council rin!>
MB,) 8)eadin! 5rom a cue card:
Hey, !an!, donAt 5or!et to 4atch Mom and me ne=t Thursday on Mother&Dau!hter Day1 nd ( 4ant
to 6e your Miss Teena!e Hairspray1 )emem6er, a 7ote 5or me 5rom you is a 7ote 5or me1
'O).2
What an une=pected ad li61, m6er1 nd speakin! o5 e=pectin! the une=pected, our o4n 5un lo7in!,
5ree4heelin! Brenda 4ill 6e takin! a lea7e o5 a6sence 5rom the sho41 Ho4 lon! 4ill you 6e !one
Brenda<
B),.D
.ine months1
'O).2
So, it seems 4eAll ha7e an openin! 5or a !irl 4ho is Fust as 5un lo7in!, 6ut may6e not Duite as
5ree4heelin!1 Wanna 6e one o5 the nicest kids in to4n< 'ut school tomorro4 and come on do4n to
station WKKT to audition>
T)'2
Ohmi!od> (tAs the drean o5 a li5etime1 ( ha7e to !o audition1
P,..2
Ohmi!od> (tAs the dream o5 a li5etime1 ( ha7e to !o 4atch you audition1
,D. 8turnin! o55 the T?:
ThatAll 6e enou!h o5 that 5or one day1 .o one is auditionin! 5or anythin!1 ThereAll 6e no cuttin!
school in this house1
P,..2
But Mrs1 Turn6lad111
,D.
Penny, !o tell your mother she 4ants you1
P,..2
She does< ( 6etter hurry1 Bye Mrs1 Turn6lad, 6ye Tracy1
8Penny 6umps Wil6ur as he enters:1
W(LB+)
Whoa> )ush hour tra55ic> Hiya ladies1 Since ( !ot that ne4 shipment o5 e=plodin! 6u66le !um,
6usiness do4nstairs is 6oomin!> Ho4 are my t4o 5unny honeys<
,D.
Oh, stop Wil6ur1 2ouAre the 5unny one1
T)'2
Daddy, tomorro4 (Am auditionin! to dance on a T? sho41
,D.
2ouAre !oin! to ha7e to !o 5urther than that to !et around me, youn! lady1 .o oneAs auditionin! 5or
anythin!1 nd 4hat did ( tell you a6out that hair< ll ratted up like a teena!ed -eCe6el1
T)'2
Mother, you are so 5i5ties1 ,7en our 5irst lady, -ackie B1 Bennedy rats her hair1
,D.
2eah< Well, you ainAt no 5irst lady, are ya< SheAs a hair hopper, thatAs 4hat !ot her put in detention
a!ain1 8Takin! Wil6ur aside:1 Wil6ur, talk to her& *irls like Tracy111 people like us111 you kno4 4hat
(Am sayin!1 They donAt put people like us on T?, e=cept to 6e lau!hed at1
W(LB+)
Tracy, this T? thin!111 you really 4ant it<
T)'2
(tAs my dream, Daddy1
W(LB+)
Then you !o 5or it> This is merica, 6a6e1 2ou !otta think 6i! to 6e 6i!1
,D.
Bein! 6i! is not the pro6lem Wil6ur1
W(LB+)
When ( 4as oyur a!e my parents 6e!!ed me to run a4ay 4ith the circus, 6ut ( said, H.o, thatAs
4hat you 4ant1 ( ha7e dreams o5 my o4nI1 ( dreamt o5 openin! a chain o5 Foke shops 4orld4ide1 So,
okay, (A7e still !ot only one, 6ut someday, i5 ( can 5i!ure out ho4 to keep the air 5rom leakin! out o5
my so5a siCed Whoopee 'ushion, (Am !oin! to make a noise heard round the 4orld>
8,dna screams 4ith deli!ht:
2ou 5ollo4 your dream, 6a6y1 (Am !ra6inAan oran!e crush and headin! 6ack to the shop111 ( !ot my
dream and ( 4u7 it>
,D.
2ouAre not helpin! Wil6ur>
T)'2
Thanks Daddy1
,D.
Tracy, come 6ack up here1 (A7e !ot hampers o5 laundry ans my diet pill is 4earin! o551
T)'2
But Mamma ( 4ant to 6e 5amous1
,D.
2ou 4ant to 6e 5amous< Learn ho4 to !et 6lood out o5 a car upholstery1 .o4 thatAs a skill you could
take ri!ht to the 6ank1 2ou think ( 4anted to spend my li5e 4ashin! and ironin! other peopleAs
clothin!< .o, ( 4anted to desi!n them1 ( thou!ht ( 4ould 6e the 6i!!est thin! in 6rassieres1 Well,
you deal 4ith 4hat li5e !i7es you1 .o4 start 5oldin!1
T)'2
+!h1
S',., $: P,..2AS @ T)'2AS @ MB,)AS
8t Penny and PrudyAs House:1
P,..2
But Mom, all ( 4as doin! 4as 4atchin! 'orny 'ollins o7er at TracyAs1
P)+D2
DidnAt ( 5or6id you 5rom listenin! to race music< Oh, i5 the police e7er locate your 5ather heAll punish
you !ood1
8t m6er and ?elmaAs House:1
?,LM
2our dancin! 4as atrocious yoday, m6er1 (Am 4illin! to lie, cheat, and steal to 4in you that Miss
Hairspray cro4n, 6ut youA7e !ot to 4ork 4ith me1 .o4 let me at that Cit>
8t TracyAs House:1
,D.
Stop> ThatAs no 4ay to treat clean clothes1 One day youAll o4n H,dnaAs Ocidental LaundryI Will you
6e ready<
T)'2
( hope not1
L1 MM, ('M B(* *()L .OW
P)+D2
Don't contradict me>
?,LM
Don't diso6ey me>
,D.
Don't e7en think a6out !oin! to
that audition1
T)'2, P,..2 9 MB,)
Please>
MOMS
.o>
L *()LS
Mother>>>>
MOMS
Stop>
P,..2
Stop tellin! me 4hat to do
MOMS
Don't>
MB,)
Don't treat me like a child o5 t4o
MOMS
.o>
T)'2
( kno4 that you 4ant 4hat's 6est
MOMS
Please>
T)'2
But mother, please,
*()LS
*i7e it a rest>>>
LL
Stop> Don't> .o> Please>
Mama1 ('m a 6i! !irl no4>
T)'2
Once upon a time 4hen ( 4as Fust a kid
2ou ne7er let me do iust 4hat the older kids did
But lose that laundry list o5 4hat you 4on't allo4
*()LS
''ause mama, i'm a 6i! !irl no4
MB,)
Once upon a time ( used to play 4ith toys
But no4 i'd rather play around 4ith teena!e 6oys
So, i5 ( !et a hickey, please don't ha7e a co4
*()LS
P,..2
Ma, ( !otta tell you that 4ithout a dou6t
( !et my 6est dancin! lessons 5rom you
2ou're the one 4ho tau!ht me ho4 to ;t4ist and shout;
Because you shout non&stop
nd you're so t4isted too>
Wo &oh &oh &oh &oh
T)'2
Once ( used to 5id!et
''ause ( Fust sat home
MB,)
But no4 i'm Fust like !id!et
nd ( !otta !et to rome>
P,..2
So say, arri7ederci>
T)'2
Toodle&loo>
MB,)
nd ciao>
*()LS
LL
*()LS
Mama, i'm a 6i! !irl no4
8hey mama, say mama:
T)'2
Once upon a time ( 4as a shy youn! thin!
'ould 6arely 4alk and talk so much as dance and sin!
But let me hit that sta!e, ( 4anna take my 6o4
*()LS
MB,)
Wo & oh & oh & oh & oh
Once upon a time ( used to dress up 'ken'
But no4 that i'm a 4oman, ( like 6i!!er men
nd ( don't need a 6ar6ie doll to sho4 me ho4
*()LS
*()LS
Ma, you al4ays tau!ht me
What 4as ri!ht 5rom 4ron!
nd no4 ( iust 4anna !i7e it a try
Mama, i'7e 6een in the nest 5or 5ar too lon!
So please !i7e a push and mama 4atch me 5ly
MB,)
Watch me 5ly
*()LS
Hey, mama, say mama
P,..2
Someday ( 4ill meet a man
2ou 4on't condemn
MB,)
nd 4e 4ill ha7e some kids
nd you can torture them
T)'2
But let me 6e a star
Be5ore ( take that 7o4
*()LS
P,..2
Oh & Oh & Oh
*()LS
Mama, i'm a 6i! !irl no4
MB,)
Hey & Hey & Hey
*()LS
Mama, i'm a 6i! !irl
MB,)
Ooh, such a 6i!, 6i! !irl>
*()LS
('m a 6i! !irl no4
LL
Stop> Don't> .%" please>
*()LS
Mama, i'm a 6i! !irl no4>>>
S',., L: TH, +D(T(O.
LO+ ..
ThatAs it Mrs1 ?on Tussle1 She 4as the last candidate1
?,LM
)eally< ThatAs all< Who 4ould A7e !uessed that Baltimore !irls 4ere all so horri6le< My, ho4 this
to4n has !one do4nhill since ( 4as cro4ned Miss Baltimore 'ra6s1
8Tracy 9 Penny enter, runnin!, out o5 6reath:1
TMM2
Oh 4ait Mrs1 ?on Tussle, it seems 4e ha7e another do4nhill !irl to audition1
T)'2
Phe4> ( thou!ht 4eAd ne7er !et here1 Stupid 6us crash>
P,..2
ll my li5e ( ima!ined 4hat this place 4ould look like1 This isnAt it1
T)'2
Hi there1 m ( too late to audition<
?,LM
.ot too late, dear1 -ust too much
P,..2
Tracy> Look, itAs Link>
T)'2
Link Larkin1 So near, and yet so !or!eous1
L(.B 8heAs talkin! to 3ender:
( kno4, those !irls 4ere all o7er me1 ( donAt kno4 ho4 )ock Hudson stands it1 8He 4alks ri!ht into
Tracy:1 ,=cuse me, little darlin!, ( hipe ( didnAt mess your Mdo1
8,7eryone 5reeCes e=cept Tracy and Penny:1
N1 ( '. H,) TH, B,LLS
T)'2
( can hear the 6ells
P,..2
Tracy, are you all ri!ht<
T)'2
Well, don'tcha hear them chime<
P,..2
( don't hear anythin!1
T)'2
'an't 'cha 5eel my heart6eat keepin! per5ect time<
nd all 6ecause he111
Touched me
He looked at me and stared, yes he
Bumped me
My heart 4as unprepared 4hen he
Tapped me
nd knocked me o55 my 5eet
One little touch
.o4 my li5e's complete 'cause 4hen he
.ud!ed me
Lo7e put me in a 5i=, yes it
Hit me
-ust like a ton o5 6ricks, yes my
Heart 6urst
.o4 ( kno4 4hat li5e's a6out
One little touch
nd lo7e's knocked me out and,
T)'2 89 ,.S,MBL,:
My head is spinnin!
Somethin!'s 6e!innin!
,7ery6ody says
That a !irl 4ho looks like me
'an't 4in his lo7e
Well, Fust 4ait and see 'cause
-ust hear them chimin!
My temp'rature's clim6in!
( cant contain my Foy
''ause ( 5in'ly 5ound the 6oy
('7e 6een missin'
Listen>
)ound one
He'll ask me on a date and then
)ound t4o
('ll primp, 6ut 4on't late 6ecause
)ound three's
When 4e kiss inside his car
Won't !o all the 4ay
But i'll !o pretty 5ar>
nd then,
)ound 5our
He'll ask me 5or my hand and then
)ound 5i7e
We'll 6ook the 4eddin! 6and so 6y
)ound si=
m6er, much to your surprise
This hea7y4ei!ht champion
Takes the priCe and111
My ears are rin!in!
The 6ridesmaids are sin!in!
,7ery6ody says
Thet a !uy 4ho's such a !em
Won't look my 4ay
Well, the lau!h's on them 'cause
My 5ather 4ill smile
s he 4alks me do4n the aisle
My mother starts to cry
But ( can't see 'cause Link and (
re 5rench kissin'
Listen>
My head is reelin!
( can't stop the pealin!
,7ery6ody 4arns
That he 4on't like 4hat he'll see
But ( kno4 that he'll look
(nside o5 me yeah,
Today's Fust the start 'cause
nd 'til death do us part
nd e7en 4hen 4e die
We'll look do4n 5rom up a6o7e
)emem6erin! the ni!ht
That 4e t4o 5ell in lo7e
We 6oth 4ill share a tear
nd he'll 4hisper as 4e're reminiscin'
Listen>
,.S,MBL,
She can hear the 6ells
T)'2
,.S,MBL,
She can hear the 6ells
T)'2
,.S,MBL,
Bon!, 6on!, 6on!, 6on!>
MB,)
nd 4hat are you doin! here<
T)'2
( came to audition 5or 'orny1 My name is Tracy Turn6lad1 nd, like you, ( !o to Patterson Park
Hi!h111
SH,LL,2
2es, (A7e seen you1
MB,)
Who could miss her< renAt you usually in detention a6out no4<
T)'2
( cut school to come do4n here1 (snAt that too cool< (Am a little ner7ous, can ( start o7er1 ( assure
youAll calm do4n, ri!ht a5ter ( ha7e a heart attack>
#1 8TH, L,*,.D O3: M(SS BLT(MO), ')BS
T)'2
Well, ( 6rou!ht my o4n 'N#s,' so i5 you put 'em on, ('ll sho4 you my stu55>
LO+ ..
Ha7en't you already sho4n us enou!h<
OThe 'ouncil *irls snicker1:
?,LM
Oh my !od
Ho4 times ha7e chan!ed
This !irl's either 6lind
Or completely deran!ed
h, 6ut time seemed to halt
When ( 4as ;Miss Baltimore 'ra6s;
T)'2
(tAs 6een my childhood dream to dance on this sho4>
MB,)
Well, may6e you ou!hta !o 6ack to sleep>
'hildhood dreams
3or me 4ere cracked
When that damn shirley temple
Stole my 5rickin' act
But the cro4n's in the 7ault
3rom 4hen ( 4on ;Miss Baltimore 'ra6s;
Those poor runner&ups
Mi!ht still hold some !rud!es
They padded their 'cups'
But ( scre4ed the Fud!es
Those 6roads thou!ht they'd 4in
(5 a plate they 4ould spin in their dance
.ot a chance>
'ause ( hit the sta!e
Batons a6laCe
While 6eltin! hi!h 'c's
nd preparin! sou55les>
But that triple somersault
Was ho4 ( clinched ;Miss Baltimore 'ra6s;>
?,LM
Proceed111
TMM2
re you scared 4e're on li7e<
T)'2
.o, ('m sure ( can cope>
MB,)
Well, this sho4 isn't 6roadcast
in111
'O+.'(L *()LS
111'inemascope>
?,LM
( ne7er drank one chocolate malt
.o, no desserts 5or ;Miss Baltimore 'ra6s;
SH,LL,2
Ho4 many s4eaters do you o4n<
T)'2
Well, ('m sure ('7e !ot plenty
Let's see, ( ha7e three1115i7e<111
Wait, ( ha7e t4enty>>
?,LM
( 4ould say 'oy !e7alt'
(5 ( 4asn't ;Miss Baltimore 'ra6s;>
tycoon ( 4ed
So cuddly and 5unny
The old 5art dropped dead
But le5t tons o5 money
So ( 6ou!ht this station
?,LM 9 'O+.'(L *()LS
So all o5 the nation
'ould see
?,LM
Ba6y am6er and me>
MB,)
Do you dance like you dress<
L(.B
m6er, there's no need to 6e cruel>
?,LM
Would you s4im in an inte!rated pool<
8The 'ouncil Mem6ers !asp1:
T)'2
( sure 4ould1 ('m all 5or
inte!ration, it's The .e4
3rontier>
?,LM
.ot in Baltimore it isn't> nd may ( 6e 5rank<
3irst impressions can 6e tou!h
nd 4hen ( sa4 you, ( kne4 it
(5 your siCe 4eren't enou!h
2our last ans4er Fust 6le4 it>
nd so, my dear, so short and stout
2ou'll ne7er 6e ;in;
?,LM 9 'O+.'(L *()LS
So 4e're kickin! you out>
?,LM
2ou can't !et past me kid
But it isn't your 5ault
?,LM 9 'O+.'(L M,MB,)S
(t's hard to !et rid o5 ;Miss Baltimore111
?,LM
111'ra6s>;
2ou may !o1
T)'2
+m111 thank you<
P,..2
*ee Tracy, that 4ent 4ell>
8Lorraine comes in:1
LO))(.,
Hello Ma'am, may ( please
audition<
?,LM
.o, 6ut you can 6o4 and e=alt>
''ause ( 4as ;Miss Baltimore111
?,LM 9 TH, 'O+.'(L M,MB,)S
111'ra6s;>
'ra6s, 'ra6s>>>
S',., N: D,T,.T(O.
T)'2
Why do they ha7e to 6e so mean< Will they !i7e me a chance< ,ncoura!ement< ppreciation< .o,
all ( e7er hear is111
P)(.'(PL
Tracy Turn6lad, once a!ain your monumental hair do has seriously o6structed e7eryoneAs 7ie4 o5
the 6lack6oard1 s Principal o5 Patterson Park Hi!h, ( condemn you to three more days o5 detention>
T)'2
Detention> (s there no pity 5or a teen Fust tryin! to 5it in<
S,W,,D
May6e you shouldnAt try so hard<
T)'2
,=cuse me1 2ou !et detention Fust a6out e7ery time ( do, and (A7e ne7er seen you complain1
S,W,,D
(tAs ho4 ( use my 6lues1
D+.,
+se them 6lues honey> 2ou !otta use them to lose them1
T)'2
Hey, that mo7eAs s4i5t1
S,W,,D
The man can dine me on a diet o5 detention so lon! as he donAt star7e me o5 my tunes1
HereAs a little somethin! that says: Hello, my name is Sea4eed111
T)'2
ThatAs un6elie7a6le1 'an ( do that<
S,W,,D
( donAt kno4111 can you<
T)'2
Hello, my name is Tracy Turn6lad1
STOO(,
Hey> .ot 6ad 5or a 4hite !irl1
S,W,,D
inAt no 6lack and 4hite here111 detention is a rain6o4 e=perience1
T)'2
Oh> WhatAs that step<
S,W,,D
Oh this< ( call it Hthe hottieI111 ( use it to attract the opposite se=111 *ood !irl> 2ou almost ha7e it>
T)'2
Oh my *od> (A7e Fust realiCed 4ho you are1 (A7e seen you dance on .e!ro Day1
LO))(.,
O5 course you ha7e111 his mom hosts the sho4>
T)'2
2our Mom is Motormouth May6elle, the D-< That makes you like111 royalty> .e!ro day is the 6est> (
4ish e7ery day 4as ne!ro day1
S,W,,D
t our house it is1
T)'2
Wait> 'orny 'ollins is hostin! an important Dance tomorro4 ni!ht, may6e i5 he sa4 me dancin! like
this 4ith you heAd put me on his sho4111
S,W,,D
'ool>
LO))(.,
ThatAcould 4ork111
STOO(, 9 D+.,
2eaah> 2ou can do it !irl>
S,W,,D
So ho4 do you 5eel a6out detention no4<
T)'2
(Am a 6ad, 6ad !irl 4ho needs to 6e punished>
8They all 6e!in to dance:
P)(.'(PL
Smilin!, lau!hin! and dancin! in detention< Tracy Turn6lad> (Am puttin! you in Special ,d1
T)'2
Special ,d< What do you do in special ,d<
STOO(,
Musicals>
LL
Wah&hoo>>>
S',., #: TH, MD(SO. D.',
'O).2
Hey there you youn! dancers> (Am honored to 6e your !uest D- here at PHP 111 So 4ith no 5urther
ado&do, letAs do do some dancin!1 (tAs the hottest dance arround and it 4as 6orn ri!ht here in
Baltimore> WhatAs it called kids>
ST+D,.TS
The Madison Dance>
'O).2
nd 4here did you see it 5irst<
ST+D,.TS
The 'orny 'ollins Sho4>
'O).2
(tAs Madison time> *o>
8The music starts1 They all start dancin!:
T)'2
Hurry Sea4eed> The dance has already started>
S,W,,D
ll ri!ht 6ut remem6er, you !otta dance 4ith your cro4d ans ( !otta dance 4ith mine1
T)'2
O look> (tAs the Madison, my 5a7ourite>
S,W,,D
2ou keep your eye on 'orny1 This could 6e your 6i! chance>
T)'2
Then youAd 6etter keep an eye on me1
'O).2
.o4 4hen ( say hit it> Sho4 me a 6i! 6ad Baltimore 6o=111 Hit it>
LO))(.,
Why do 4e al4ays ha7e to dance at the 6ack<
S,W,,D
( donAt kno4111 itAs Fust the 4ay it is1
'O).2
When ( say hit it, take it to the 6asket> Hit it> m6er, 4ho is your 5riend111 sheAs like a 6reath o5 5resh
mountain air>
MB,)
2ou !ot the mountain part ri!ht>
'O).2
.o4 4hen ( say hit it, letAs take a dri7e doen Druid Hill111 Hit it>>
Han! a ri!ht111 5eed the monkey111 heAs in the 6ack seat1
L(.B
Hey little darlin!111 ha7enAt 4e met some4here<
T)'2
Link Larkin actually spoke to me1 (All ne7er 4ash this ear a!ain>
8They continue dancin!1 Tracy is dancin! near 'orny:
T)'2
Hi 'orny>
'O).2
Hey 'upcake> WhatAs your name<
T)'2 8as she does the Hmy name isI dance:
(Am Tracy Turn6lad1
'O).2
What else ha7e you !ot hidin! in those Buster Bro4ns<
T)'2
Well111 hereAs one ( learnt in detention111 itAs Hthe HottiesI step1 ( use it to attract the opposite se=1
S,W,,D
Hey hey hey> 'heck her out e7ery6ody>
8Tracy does the step, and e7ery6ody Foin in:1
L(.B
That !irlAs as 5ree as the 4ind1
MB,)
,7ery6ody stop likin! her>
'O).2
ll ri!ht e7er26ody, letAs take it home> 'raCy> nd that, Baltimorians, is ho4 4e do the Madison>
Blackout1
S',., 0: T)'2 T TH, 'O).2 'OLL(.S SHOW @ T)'2AS HOM,
'O).2
Hey there teena!e Baltimore> 2ouAre Fust in time 5or The 'orny 'ollins Sho4>
TodayAs Fam&packed edition 4ill include Limk Larkin sin!ins a special reDuest Top N% hit: (t takes
T4o1 So let the Party 6e!in>
8t TracyAs Home:
P,..2
Hurry MiC Turn6lad> Hurry, Mr1 Turn6lad> 'ome see 4hatAs on T?1
W(LB+)
Penny Pin!leton, this 6etter 6e important1
P,..2
(t is>
,D.
Oh no> DonAt tell me your mother is on P oAclock ne4s111 a!ain1 Last 4eek she 4as clamin! there
4as an alien in her 6ack yard1
P,..2
Oh no> ( already put my !randmother inside the house1 This is somethin! else111 come>
01 .(',ST B(DS (. TOW. 8reprise:
LL
)oll 'all>>
'O+.'(L M,MB,)S
('m m6er>
Brad>
Tammy>
3ender>
Brenda>
Sketch>
Shelley>
(1G1
Lou nn>
nd ('m111 Tracy>
8ll o5 the !irls scream1:
'O).2
So, i5 e7ery ni!ht you're shakin!
s you lie in 6ed
W(LB+), ,D. 9 P,..2
*o Tracy> *o, !o Tracy>
nd the 6ass and drums
re poundin! in your head
Who cares a6out sleep
When you can snooCe in School<
They'll ne7er !et to colle!e
But they sure look cool
Don't need a cap and a !o4n
''ause they're the nicest Bids in to4n
They're the nicest1 .icest
They're the nicest, nicest
They're the su!ar 'n' spicest,
The nicest kids in111
Bids in to4n>
'O).2
2eah> nd that 4as our dance o5 the 4eek: HThe hottieI, introduced to you 6y our 6rand ne4 'ouncil
Mem6er, Miss Tracy Turn6lad1
,D.
Oh> My 4ord> Tracy> Li7e in our o4n li7in! room>
W(LB+)
( think (A7e seen her 6e5ore1
P,..2
nd sheAs !oin! to 6e a re!ular1
,D.
(ma!ine, my little !irl11 re!ular at last>
P,..2
Hi Tracy> (tAs me Penny>
,D.
She canAt hear you1
8The phone rin!s and she ans4ers it:1
,D.
Hello111 yes, this is her childhood home111 no (Am not her 5ather1
'O).2
So letAs 4a7e a 4ist5ul 6ye 6ye to Brenda111 see you ne=t year1
LL
44444111
'O).2
111 and inau!urate the ne4est mem6er o5 our council Tracy Turn6lad> 'oCy up to old 'orny and tell
is a6out yoursel5 Trrrrace>
T)'2
Well, ( !o to Patterson Park Hi!h, ( 4atch your sho4, and ( do a6solutely nothin! else1
'O).2
nd i5 you 4ere president, 4hat 4ould your 5irst o55icial act 6e<
T)'2
Well, (Ad make e7eryday .e!ro Day>
?,LM 9 SP)(TK,)
Whaaaaaat> 8He runs o55 in terror, she 5ollo4s him:1
'O).2
So111 4hat do you say kid> Looks like 4e mi!ht Fust ha7e a hot ne4 candidate 5or Miss Teena!e
Hairspray>
MB,)
.o, she canAt 6e MissHairspray> SheAs the H6e5oreI in the Metrecal diet ad, and (Am the Ha5terI111
and a5ters al4ays 4in>
'O).2
m6er111 4hat a comedian> So, Tracy, ho4 4ould you like Link Larkin to sin! s son! Fust 5or you<
MB,)
.o> He canAt 6ecause e7eryone kno4s that 4hene7er he sin!s, heAs sin!in! to M,1 HeAs
completely in7ol7ed 4ith M,111 see<
'O).2
)i!ht, so Tracy, tell us ho4 4ould you like Link Larkin to sin! s son! Fust 5or you<
T)'2
Would (< Would (<
MB,)
2ou people are i!norin! the la4s o5 nature>
'O).2
Link Larkin, our o4n ,l7is, 4ill no4 sin! to the eDualy 6loomin! Tracy Turn6lad his 7ersion o5 this
4eekAs top N% hit, H(t takes t4oI1
MB,)
Mother>
Q1 (T TB,S TWO
'HO()
<<<, <<<, <<<, <<<, <<<
<<<, <<<, <<<, <<<
(t takes t4o
<<<1<<<, <<<, <<<1<<<, <<<
Doo doo, 4op>
L(.B
They say it's a man's 4orld
Well, that cannot 6e denied
But 4hat !ood's a man's 4orld
Without a 4oman 6y your side
nd so ( 4ill 4ait
+ntil that moment you decide
L(.B 9 'HO()
That i'm your man
nd you're my !irl
That i'm the sea
nd you're the pearl
(t takes t4o, 6a6y,
(t takes t4o
Doo doo & 4op>
L(.B
kin! ain't a kin!
Without the po4'r 6ehind the throne
prince is a pauper1 Ba6e,
Without a chick to call his o4n
So please, darlin!, choose me
( don't 4anna rule alone
Tell me,
L(.B 9 *+2S
('m your kin!
nd you're my Dueen
That no one else
'an come 6et4een
(t takes t4o, 6a6y,
(t takes t4o
'HO()
Don't you kno4
L(.B
Lancelot had !uine7ere
Mrs1 'laus has old st1 .ick
)omeo had Fuliet
nd liC, 4ell, she has her dick
They say it takes t4o to tan!o
Well, that tan!o's child's play
So take me to the dance 5loor
nd 4e'll t4ist the ni!ht a4ay
-ust like 5rankie a7alon
Had his 5a7orite mouseketeer
( dream o5 a lo7er, 6a6e,
To say the thin!s " lon! to hear
So come closer 6a6y,
Oh and 4hisper in my ear
T)'2 8in anythin! 6ut a 4hisper:
2eah>
L(.B T)'2
That you're my !irl ('m your !irl
nd i'm your 6oy 2ou're my 6oy
That you're my pride 2ou're my pride
nd i'm your Foy ('m your Foy
That i'm the sand ('m the sand
nd you're the tide 2ou're the tide
('ll 6e the !room Be the !room
(5 you'll 6e my 6ride ('ll 6e your 6ride
(t takes t4o, 6a6y, (t takes t4o
(t takes t4o (t takes t4o
L(.B
(t takes t4o, 6a6y
T)'2 9 L(.B
(t takes t4o
'HO()
111T4o & oo & <<<>
SP)(TK,)
.e!ro Day e7eryday< Thay chu66y communist !irl111 ( assure you1 'ontro7ersy is not 4hat +ltra
'lutch 4ishes to promote1
'O).2
.e!roes and chu66y !irls 6uy hairspray too, Mr1 SpritCer1
SP)(TK,)
Mrs1 ?on Tussle, ho4 do you plan to handle this<
?,LM
( plan to start 6y 5irin! him>
'O).2
2ou canAt 5ire 'orny 'ollins 5rom the 'orny 'olins Sho41
?,LM
Why not< They do it all the time on Lassie>
'O).2
M)1 SpritCer1 To keep the audience you !ot to keep up 4ith the times1
?,LM
This sho4As 5ine the 4ay it is1
'O).2
Brin!in! Tracy on is Fust the 6e!!inin!1 (A7e !ot terri5ic ideas 5or updatin! the sho41
SP)(TK,)
(Am !ettin! one o5 my sick headaches1 ( need to lie do4n1 8He lea7es:1
?,LM
So youA7e !ot ideas, do you< nd !oin! 6ehind my 6ack to put this no&talent 5attie on the sho4 is
one o5 them<
'O).2
Damn ri!ht ?elma1 (tAs time 4e put kids on the sho4 4ho look like kids 4ho 4atch the sho41
?,LM
.ot 4hile (Am producin! it1
'O).2
May6e itAs time to chan!e that, too1
?,LM
re you threatenin! me 'ollins<
'O).2
4> 2ou kno4 me ?elma> On the other hand, ( could al4ays take the sho4 to channel ""1
Blackout1
S',., Q: T)'2AS HOM, & '(T2
,D. 8tired 5rom hours on the phone:
2es1 Thank you so much>111 (Em sure Tracy appreciates your 7ote 5or Miss Teena!e Hairspray1 2es>
nd she lo7es you too1 ?ery much1 Whoe7er you are1 *ood6ye> 8The phone rin!s a!ain:1 This is
craCy1 Hello< What am ( 4earin!< housecoat, scu55ies and Supphose1 What are you 4earin!<
Hello< Hello<
T)'2 86urstin! in e=itedly:
Mama did you see< Did you see me<
,D.
O5 course ( did1 (t 4as on tele7ision1 ( had to1 The phoneEs 6een rin!in! like he 4as a telethon1 To
think, the 5ruit o5 my 4om6, a 6elo7ed T? icon1
T)'2
So you are not mad<
,D.
Mad< Ho4 could ( 6e mad< 2ouEre 5amous> (5 youEd only told me you 4as !oin! to !et on the sho4, (
ne7er 4ould ha7e said you couldnEt1 But sit111 tell me, i 5ame all you thou!ht it 4ould 6e< re you
happy honey<
T)'2
2es Mama, and ( think (Em in lo7e1
,D.
( kno41 (E7e 6een 5ollo4in!1 But you and ( are !oin! to ha7e a talk a6out 6oys1 2ou can learn a lot
5rom the mistakes o5 the 4omen on soap&operas1 8Phone rin!s:1 There it !oes a!ain1
T)'2
Hello< 2es111 this is Tracy Turn6lad1 Hello Mr1 Pinky1
,D.
Mr1 Pinky< TH, Mr1 Pinky< s in Mr1 PinkyEs Guality 'lothes 5or Guantity *irls<
T)'2
2ou 4ant to hire me as your e=clusi7e spokes!irl and 5ashion e55i!y< 8to ,dna: WhatEs an e55i!y<
ThatEs 7ery 5latterin!, 6ut ('m a5raid all 6usiness must !o throu!h my a!ent111 it 4ould 6e our
pleasure1 WeEll 6e ri!ht o7er, Mr1 Pinky1 *ood6ye> 8She han!s up the phone:1
,D.
n a!ent> ( donEt kno4 any a!ents1 Ho4 a6out a nice 6ail 6ondsman<
T)'2
Mother, put that thin! do4n1 ('m takin! my ne4 a!ent to Mr1 PinkyEs Shop, and then out on the to4n1
,D.
Who< Me Tracy Turn6lad, 5ame has !one into your head and le5t you 4acky1 Hon111 (Ell 6e ri!ht
6eside you, i5 thatEs 4hat you 4ant, and to!ether 4e can cla4 your 4ay to the top1 But canEt 4e do it
o7er the phone< ( ha7enEt 6een out o5 this appartment since111 since111 (E7e neer 6een out o5 this
appartment>
P1 W,L'OM, TO TH, 0%'S
T)'2
Hey mama hey mama,
Look around
,7ery6ody's !roo7in' to a 6rand ne4 sound
Hey mama hey mama,
3ollo4 me
" kno4 somethin!'s in you
That you 4anna set 5ree
So let so, !o, !o o5 the past no4
Say hello to the lo7e in your heart
2es, " kno4 that the 4orld's spinnin! 5ast no4
2ou !otta !et yoursel5 a 6rand ne4 start
T)'2, D2.M(T,S 9 ,.S,MBL,
Hey mama, 4elcome to the 0%'s
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh mama, 4elcome to the 0%'s
*o mama, !o, !o, !o>
D2.M(T,S 9 ,.S,MBL,
Welcome to the 0%'s
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
Hey mama
2eah, yeah, yeah,
2eah, yeah, yeah
T)'2
Hey mama, hey mama,
Take my hand
,D.
3irst let's make a pit stop
t the 4iener stand
T)'2
Hey mama, hey mama,
Take a chance
,D.
Oh Tracy, it's 6een years
Since someone asked me to dance
T)'2
So let !o, so, !o o5 the past no4
Say hello to the li!ht in your eyes
2es, ( kno4 that the 4orld's
Spinnin! 5ast no4
But you !otta run the race
To 4in the priCe
T)'2, D2.M(T,S 9, ,.S,MBL,
Hey mama, 4elcome to the 0%'s
Oh, oh, oh, oh1 Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
*o mama, !o, !o, !o>
D2.M(T,S 9 ,.S,MBL,
Welcome to the 0%'s
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
Hey mama
2eah, yeah, yeah,
2eah, yeah, yeah
8Tracy 9 ,dna arri7e at Mr1 Pinky's He5ty Hidea4ay
as ne4 5ans 6esie!e Tracy 5or photos and auto!raphs1:
D2.M(T,S
Welcome to the rhythm o5 a 6rand ne4 day
T)'2
Take your old&5ashioned 5ears
T)'2 9 D2.M(T,S
nd Fust thro4 them a4ay
M)1 P(.B2'S ST33
2ou should add some color and a 5resh ne4 ;do;
D2.M(T,S 9 ,.S,MBL,
''ause it's time 5or a star
Who looks Fust like you>
-+D(.,
Dontcha let no6ody
Try to steal your 5un
''ause a little touch o5 lipstick
.e7er hurt no one
BM(LH
The 5uture's !ot a million roads
3or you to choose
But you'll 4alk a little taller
(n some hi!h&heel shoes
SH2.
nd once you 5ind the style
That makes you 5eel like you
Somethin! 5resh
Somethin! ne4
D2.M(T,S 9 ,.S,MBL,
Step on out
Hear us shout
T)'2, D2.M(T,S 9 ,.S,MBL,
Mama, that's your cue>>>
,.S,MBL,
2eah, 2eah, 2eah
8,dna emer!es 5rom Mr1 Pinky's Shop all 6rand ne41:
,D.
Hey Tracy, hey 6a6y,
Look at me>
('m the cutest chickie
That ya e7er did see
Hey Tracy, hey 6a6y,
Look at us
Where is there a team
That's hal5 as 5a6ulous<>
8Tracy takes her turn in ;Mr1 Pinky's;1:
,D. 89 ,.S,MBL,:
( let !o, !o1 *o o5 the past no4
Said hello to this red carpet ride
2es ( kno4 that the 4orld's spinnin! 5ast no4
Tell lolla6ri!ida to step aside>
,D. 9 ,.S,MBL,
2our mama's 4elcomin! the 0%'s
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh1 Oh, oh, oh
Oh your mama's 4elcomin! the 0%'s
*o, mama, !o, !o, !o>
,.S,MBL,
Welcome to the 0%'s
Open the door
3or the !irl 4ho has more,
She's a star111
Tracy, !o, !o, !o>
LL
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh1 Oh, oh
Oh, oh1 Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh1 Oh
*o mama1 *o, !o, !o>
Hey mama 4elcome to the 0%'s
BM(LH
Welcome to the ;0;, to the ;%;
To the apostrophe ;s;>
LL
8-+D(., ri55s1:
LL
8SH2. ri55s1:
LL
Welcome to the 0%'s
*o mama !o, !o, !o>
D2.M(T,S
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh1 Oh, oh
Oh, oh1 Oh, oh, oh
*o mama, !o, !o, !o>>
S',., P: Dod!e6all & Patterson Hi!h School Play!round1
Link, 3ender and their male pals 4arm up on the 5ar side o5 sta!e1 m6er, Lou nn, and Shelley
enter1 Tammy enters 4earin! a 4i! desi!ned to make her look like Tracy1 m6er stares1
MB,)
What is that supposed to 6e<
TMM2
(snAt it the dreamiest< (tAs called HThe TracyI1 ,7eryone 4hoAs anyone has one1
*2M T,'H,)
*ather up, students1 Brace yoursel7es 5or scatter dod!e 6all1
MB,)
Bathy Schmink told me she heard Tracy 4as seen 4ith that horri6le 6oy 5rom the 'hess 'lu6R
SH,LL,2
( heard sheAs 5riends 4ith another 6oy 4ho is not on the 'hess 'lu6 111 yet1 8Looks at Link:1
TMM2
(s is true she is in Special ,d< 8Tryin! to chan!e the su6Fect:1
MB,)
2up1 Tracy Turn6lah is a tramp and she is retarded1 ThatAs ri!htR sheAs 5ast and slo4 at the same
time> 8she crosses to Link:1 Link Larkin, ho4 could you kiss that o7ersiCed 6u55alo ri!ht on theR air<
L(.B
That didnAt mean anythin!, m6er, it 4as Fust a cool 4ay to end the son!1
8Tracy, Sea4eed, and the Special ,d kids arri7e:1
3,.D,)
Hey, here they come> Special ,d> Special !eeks> *eeks>
L(.B
That ainAt cool 3ender1
*2M T,'H,)
Ha, ha> Special ,d> Ha, ha>
T)'2 8prayin! to hersel5 4hen she sees Link:
Oh Link, i5 5ate 5orces you to thro4 the 6all at me today, seal it 4ith a kiss1
S,W,,D
*ot a prayer 5or me too< This !ame can !et pretty 7icious1
T)'2
What is scatter dod!e 6all any4ay<
S,W,,D
(tAs sort o5 like a protest rally1 Looks like a !ood idea until the police sho4 up, then you 6etter scatter
and dod!e1
P,..2
Hi, Tracy1 Sorry a6out your Special ,d&ness1 But think o5 it as a testament to the record&6reakin!
e=tremes your hair has reached1 (Am so Fealous> HelloR
T)'2
Sea4eed, this is my 5riend Penny Lou Pin!leton1
S,W,,D
Wait, (A7e seen you 6e5ore1 t the !um machine>
P,..2 8proudly:
( do t4o packs a day1
S,W,,D
HmmR ll that che4in! must make the muscles in your mouth mi!hty stron!1
P,..2 86lushin! 4ith pride:
.ot reallyR pro6a6ly Fust a7era!e1
MB,)
Well, 4ell, 4ell, Tracy Tu!6oatR you 5inally 5ound a tittle you could 4in: Miss Special ,d>
L(.B
Bnock it o55 m6er1
T)'2
m6er ?on Tussle, you ha7e acne o5 the soul1
*2M T,'H,)
StudentsR 'ommence>
8nd 4ith a shrill 4histle the !ame 6e!ins1 m6er !ets the 6all and thro4s it at Tracy:1
MB,)
Hey, thunder thi!hs, dod!e this>
T)'2
2ou thro4 like a !irl>
S,W,,D
Hey, no 5air thro4in! at the head1
*2M T,'H,)
ThatAs ri!ht, !o 5or his nuts>
8The 6all 6arely misses his head:1
L(.B
,7ery6ody take it easy1 This isnAt World War Three>
8m6er !ets the 6all a4ay 5orm Link and takes dead aim at TracyAs head:
MB,)
Says you> ,at dod!e 6all, Trampy Ton&o&lard>
8She snaps the 6all ri!ht into TracyAs head1 Tracy crumples to the !round, knocked out1 4histle
6lo4s:1
*2M T,'H,)
*ame o7er>
8School 6ell rin!s:
'lass dismissed> ll ri!ht you stinky> (5 you take a sho4er 6e5ore 'hristmas you !et ,=tra credit>
8They lea7e:1
MB,)
Poor Tracy1 So tra!ic, ( 5or!ot to cry1 re you comin!, Link<
L(.B
m6er, that 4asnAt necessary1
MB,)
( said, are you comin!, Link<
L(.B
(n a minute1
MB,)
(All 6e 4aitin! under the 6leachers1
8She lea7es1 Sea4eed1 Tracy and Link are helpin! Tracy:1
P,..2
+h, oh, Tracy< re you dead<
S,W,,D
( 6etter !o !et the school nurse1
P,..2
(All !o 4ith you1
8They !o o55 to!ether, lea7in! Tracy and Link alone:1
L(.B
Tracy< Tracy, ho4 you doinA< *eeR you are 6eauti5ul 4hen you are unconscious1
8 6ell tone identi5ies H( 'an Hear the BellsI as Link says those 4ords:1
T)'2
Where am (< Link<
L(.B
2ou 6etter< 3or a second there it looked like HTeen n!elI time1
T)'2
Where7er ( am, please, no one chan!e the channel1
L(.B
2ouA7e !ot a 5unny 4ay o5 puttin! thin!s1 ( like that1
P,..2
The nurse is out sick, 6ut look 4hat Sea4eed 5ound1
S,W,,D
Band ids>
P,..2
HeAs so nurturin!1
T)'2
Oh, Link, this is my 5riend Sea4eed1
L(.B
Ho4 you doinA<
S,W,,D
Ho4 you doinA<
P,..2 8to Tracy:
Ho4 are you doin!<
T)'2
Ho4 do you think< ( Fust !ot creamed in 5ront o5 the entire school1
S,W,,D
Hey, Trace, ( kno4 4hatAll make you 5eel 6etter1 My momAs hostin! a party at our record shop on
.orth 7enue1 Wanna come check it out<
P,..2
(, too, 5eel not !ood1 May ( also come check it out<
S,W,,D
2ou surely may1
T)'2
(A7e ne7er 6een to .orth 7enue 6e5ore1
L(.B
Would it 6e sa5e up there 5or, you kno4, us<
S,W,,D
DonAt 4orry cracker 6oy, itAs cool1
T)'2
What do you think Link<
L(.B
( think !ettin! to kno4 you is the 6e!innin! o5 a 4hole lot o5 ad7enture1
P,..2
(ma!ine 6ein! in7ited places 6y colored people1
T)'2
(t 5eels so hip>
S,W,,D
*lad you 5eel that 4ay, 5riends1 A'ause not e7ery6ody does1
P1 )+. .D T,LL THT
( can't see
Why people look at me
nd only see the color o5 my 5ace
nd then there's those
That try to help, !od kno4s
But ha7e to al4ays put me in my place
.o4 ( 4on't ask you to 6e color 6lind
''ause i5 you pick the 5ruit
Then !irl, you're sure to 5ind111
The 6lacker the 6erry
The s4eeter the Fuice
( could say it ain't so
But darlin', 4hat's the use<
The darker the chocolate
The richer the taste
nd that's 4here it's at111
111no4 run and tell that>>
,.S,MBL,
)un and tell that>
S,W,,D
)un and tell that>
,.S,MBL,
)un and tell that>
S,W,,D 89 ,.S,MBL,:
( can't see
Why people disa!ree
,ach time ( tell them 4hat ( kno4 is true
nd i5 you come
nd see the 4orld i'm 5rom
" 6et your heart is !onna 5eel it too
2eah1 ( could lie
But 6a6y1 Let's 6e 6old
?anilla can 6e nice
But i5 the truth 6e told111
But darlin', 4hat's the use
That's 4here it's at
.o4 run and tell that>>
,.S,MBL,
)un and tell that>
S',., /: MOTO)MO+THAS ),'O)D SHOP
8The scene shi5ts to Motormouth May6elle's record shop dance party 4here her dau!hter Li'l (neC
and her 5riends are already in 5ull s4in!1:
L('L (.,K
Hey, you're Tracy Turn6lad> 2ou're my 5a7orite dancer on the 'orny 'ollins Sho41
S,W,,D
This is my sister, Li'l (neC1
T)'2
Sure1 ( sa4 you at the auditions1
L('L (.,K
Well, you're the only one 4ho did, 'cause they kicked me out on my youn!, !i5ted and 6lack 6ehind1
S,W,,D
Tell 'em a6out it>
L('L (.,K
('m tired o5 co7erin' up all my pride
S,W,,D 9 ,.S,MBL,
So !i7e me 5i7e on the 6lack&hand side
L('L (.,K
('7e !ot a ne4 4ay o5 mo7in'
nd ( !ot my o4n 7oice
S,W,,D 9 ,.S,MBL,
So ho4 can ( help
But to shout and reFoice
L('L (.,K
The people 'round here
'an 6arely pay their rent
They're ;try'n to make dollar
Out 'a 5i5teen cent;
But 4e !ot a spirit
Money Fust cant 6uy
L('L (.,K 9 ,.S,MBL,
(t's deep as a ri7er
nd soars to the sky>>
S,W,,D, L('L (.,K 9 ,.S,MBL,
( cant see
The reason it cant 6e
The kinda 4orld 4here 4e all !et our chance
The time is no4
nd 4e can sho4 them ho4
To turn the music up and let's all dance
''ause all thin!s are eDual
When it comes to lo7e
Well, that ain't Duite true
''ause 4hen push comes to sho7e111
But darlin', 4hat's the use
That's 4here it's at
S,W,,D
111.o4 run and tell that>>
,.S,MBL,
)un and tell that>
S,W,,D
)un and tell that>>
8The son! ends an Motormouth makes her entrance:1
MOTO)MO+TH
ThereAs platters o5 tunes and 5ood on the ta6le1 What else 4ould you e=pect 5romR
LL
Ms1 Motormouth May6elle>
S,W,,D
Mama, ( 6rou!ht some 5riends1
MOTO)MO+TH
Whoop&dee&doo, 4hat a coup> The e7er sparkinA Sir Link Larkin>
L(.B
l4ays nice to see you, Ms1 Motormouth1
P,..2
(Am Penny Lou Pin!leton and (Am 7ery pleased and scared to 6e here1
MOTO)MO+TH
2ouAre 4elcome, kitten, to come and sit in1
T)'2
This is Fust so 5ro&tastic1 'an ( say ho4 thrilled ( am to meet you, MiC Motormouth1 (Am Sea4eedAs
5riend, Tracy1
MOTO)MO+TH
Oh, yes, indeedy1 (A7e seen you, s4eetie1 ll a!lo4 on 'ornyAs sho41
T)'2
*ee, thanks1 But (Am only there 6ecause o5 your son1 Why canAt 4e all dance to!ether like this on
T?<
MOTO)MO+TH
Think 4e ha7enAt tried< WeA7e pleaded, 6e!!ed, and lied1 We pressured the mayor, petitioned the
!o7, and 4hat did 4e !et<
MOTO)MO+TH 9 B(DS
One day a month>
S,W,,D
,nou!h talk1 We came to dance1 LetAs play some hide and seek>
8Music starts:1
T)'21 P,..2 9 L(.B
The dirty 6oo!ie>
8They start to dance 4hen suddenly the door 6ursts open:1
MB,)
aaaaaieeeeeee>> Link>> What are you doin! in this hu!e cro4d o5 minorities<
L(.B
Tryin! to 5it in1 What are you doin!<
MB,)
( 4aited 5or you under the 6leachers until hal5&4ay throu!h the -? track meet, then ( sa4 you !ettin!
on the .orth 7enue 6us ad ( 5ollo4ed you here in my ne4 car1
L(.B
WeAre ha7in! a 6last> 'ome on, Fump in>
8The door 6ursts open a!ain:
?,LM
aaaieeeeeeee> m6er> Has anyone touched you<
MOTO)MO+TH
2ou all 6etter hustle, hereAs ?on Tussle1
?,LM
( sa4 you !ettin! into your darlin!, ne4 car, so ( 5ollo4ed you in mine1 Motormouth, are you
6rain4ashin! these children<
MOTO)MO+TH
TheyAre only dancin!1
T)'2
2eah> We are dancin!1
?,LM
Oh> ( should ha7e kno4n youAd 6e at the 6ottom o5 this 6arrel1
8The door opens a!ain ad this time ,dna enters 4ith a take out 6a!:1
,D.
Ooooooooohhhhh>>> Tray, that 4as you ( sa4> Wil6ur> (t 4as the kids ( sa4>
T)'2
Mama, 4hat are you doin! here<
,D.
( had a sudden cra7in! 5or chicken and 4a55les, so 4e dro7e up to )u6yAs Take&Out across the 4ay1
Hello e7eryone1 (Am TracyAs mom1
?,LM
Oh> So you are 4hat spa4ned that>
,D.
,=cuse me<
?,LM
( !uess you t4o are li7in! proo5 that the 4atermelon doesnAt 5all 5ar 5rom the 7ineR
,D.
Tracy, 6e a dear, hold MommyAs 4a55les1
8,dna takes a threatenin! step to4ard ?elma as Wil6ur enters:1
W(LB+)
ll ri!ht> party> nyone 5or chicken and 4a55les<
STOO(,
(5 4e !et any more 4hite people in here, itAll 6e a su6ur61
?,LM
'ome on, m6er1 LetAs !et 6ack to the ri!ht side o5 the tracks, i5 our cars are still there1
MB,)
LetAs !o, Link1
L(.B
m6er, youAre 6ein! rude to these people1
?,LM 8as i5 to a do!:
m6er, come>
MB,)
Link, come> 8he doesnAt mo7e:1 Link, come>
L(.B
m6er, !o1
MB,)
What e7er happened to the 6land, dominated 6oy ( 5ell in lo7e 4ith< Mother, come1
?,LM
With pleasure1
8They lea7e:1
,D.
( didnAt care 5or them1
L(TTL, (.,K
re all 4hite people like that<
W(LB+)
.a4R Fust most1
T)'2
Well ( kno4 ho4 4e can start chan!in! that1 (5 kids sa4 us dancin! to!ether on T?, theyAd realiCe
that 4eAre not so di55erent a5ter all1 We Fust 4ant to ha7e a !ood time1
S,W,,D
2ou sayin! that you and Link 4ould 6e 4illin! to dance 4ith us on .e!ro Day< That 4ould 6e earth
shakin!>
L(.B 8!ettin! ner7ous1:
TracyR
T)'2
.o1 WeAre not !oin! to dance on .e!ro Day1
L(.B 8relie7ed:
Whe4R
T)'2
2ouAre !oin! to crash White Day>
MOTO)MO+TH
White day is e7eryday1 2a !otta !et more speci5ic than that>
T)'2
(s tomorro4 speci5ic enou!h< Think: itAs Mother&Dau!hter Day1 Motormouth, you 4ork 5or the
station1 They could ne7er turn you and Little (neC a4ay1 nd once the t4o o5 you 6reak the 6arrier,
4eAll all 6e 5ree to dance on T?1
S,W,,D
ThatAs re7olutionary1
MOTO)MO+TH
'hild, it ainAt that easy1 What i5 they call the cops< People could !et hurt1
T)'2
Then 4eAll all 4alk out to!ether1 ThereAs me1 ThereAs Link and (Am sure 4e can !et the others1
Without dancers, theyA7e !ot no sho41
MOTO)MO+TH
What a decision, your childAs !ot 7ision1
,D.
WeA7e al4ays tried to teach her to do 4hatAs ri!ht1
W(LB+)
nd !i7e correct chan!e1
L(.B 8pullin! Tracy aside:
Tracy, you canAt do this1 2ouAre ne4 to the 'ouncil1 2ouAll 6e thro4n o55 the sho4 5or sure1
T)'2
ThatAs 4hy 4eAre all doin! it to!ether1
L(.B
.ot me1
T)'2
2ou donAt think se!re!ation is 4ron!<
L(.B
( like these people1 But 4heter or not theyAre on T? 4onAt !et me a recordin! contract1 8realiCes this
sounds too shallo4: That camo out 4ron!1 (A7e 6een sin!in! and smilin! on that sho4 5or three
years 4aitin! 5or it to lead me to my 6reak1 2ouA7e !ot e7erythin!: 6rains, talent, personality1 Me<
(A7e !ot one chanc to !et seen nation4ide1 Saturday ni!ht is e7erythin! (A7e 4orked 5or1 (Am not
!onna thro4 it a4ay1 'Amon, iAm lea7in! and you !otta too1
T)'2
.o> ( 4ant to do this, and so should you1 (tAs 4hatAs ri!ht1 Stay Link1 Please stay1
L(.B
Sorry1
T)'2
But you and me to!ether, ( 4as startin! to thinkR
L(.B
Sure1 But ( donAt kno41 (tAs !ettin! too complicated1 nd thereAs still m6er1 See yaR little darlinA
8He lea7es:1
P,..2
(Am sorry Tracy1
T)'2
Oh mamaR ho4 could ( think Link Larkin 4ould e7er care a6out someone like me<
,D.
Why 4ouldnAt he< 2ouAre a 6eauti5ul !irl1 (tAs Fust like my soap opera>>
T)'2
Mama, donAt tease1 ( really like him1 (A7e ne7er 5elt anythin! like this 6e5ore1
,D.
-ust !i7e him time1 (Am sure heAll 5i!ure out heAs craCy a6out you1
W(LB+)
Tracy, he could 6e ri!ht1 Should you risk your career<
T)'2
( ne7er 4ould ha7e !otten on the sho4 4ithout Sea4eed1 .o, itAs pay6ack time1
W(LB+)
ThatAs my !irl1
T)'2
Okay1 So this is ho4 4eAre !onna do it, tomorro4, e7eryone 6rin! your mothersR
P,..2
nd sisters>
T)'2
nd meet me around the corner 5rom the studio and make si!ns>
P,..2
2es> nd put 4ords on them>
T)'2
Ms1 Motormouth, you and Little (neC 4ill 4alk in 5irst1 Me and Mama 4ill 6e ri!ht 6ehind you1
,D.
,=cuse me<
T)'2
TheyAll ne7er 6e a6le to thro4 them throu!h the door 4ith us 6lockin! it>
,D.
(Am sorry, TracyR 6ut (Am too 5at to appear on T?1
MOTO)MO+TH
2ou canAt let 4ei!ht restrict your 5ate> Look at me> (Am on T?>
/1 B(*, BLO.D, .D B,+T(3+L
MOTO)MO+TH
Once upon a time
*irl ( 4as Fust like you
.e7er let my e=tra lar!e
Lar!esse shine throu!h
Hair 4as 6ro4n and nappy
.e7er had no 5un
( hid under a 6ushel
Which is easier said than done>
Then one day my !randma
Who 4as 6i! and stout
She said you !otta lo7e yoursel5
3rom inside out
nd Fust as soon as ( learned
Ho4 to strut my 5unky stu55
( 5ound out that the 4orld at lar!e
'ant !et enou!h so111
Brin! on that pecan pie
Pour some su!ar on it
Su!ar don't 6e shy
Scoop me up a mess
O5 that chocolate s4irl
Don't 6e stin!y,
('m a !ro4in! !irl
( o55er 6i! lo7e
With no apolo!y
Ho4 can ( deny the 4orld
The most o5 me
( am not a5raid
To thro4 my 4ei!ht around
Pound 6y pound 6y pound
Because ('m
Bi!, 6londe and 6eauti5ul
There is nothin' '6out me
That's unsuita6le
.o one 4ants a meal
That only o55ers the least
When !irl 4e're ser7in' up
The 4hole damn 5east
MOTO)MO+TH 9 ,.S,MBL,
Slice o55 a piece
O5 that ho! head cheese
Then take a look inside
My 6ook o5 recipes
.o4, don't you sni55 around
3or somethin! 5lu55y and li!ht
( need a man 4ho 6rin!s
man&siCe111 ppetite
('ll use a pinch o5 su!ar
nd a dash o5 spice
('ll let ya lick the spoon
Because it tastes so nice
('ll keep it in my o7en
'Til it's !ood and hot
Beep on stirrin! til it hits the spot
Because i'm111
nd ,dna !irl, you're lookin' so
)ecruita6le
Why sit in the 6leachers
Timid and a5raid
When ,dna,
2ou can 6e your o4n parade>
T)'2
So< Ho4 '6out it, Mama<
,D.
Well, ( am 6i!, ( am 6londe111 ish, and i5 you say
('m 6eauti5ul, ( !uess ('m 6eauti5ul1 OB, ('ll do it>
LL
2eah>>>
8The scene shi5ts and protest si!ns are distri6uted:
S',., /: T? STT(O. P)OT,ST
LL
2eaaa>
Look out old Baltimore
We're marchin! in
'nd 4e ain't shu55lin'
Throu!h that old 6ack door
,D.
nd Tracy, ( 4ill Foin the 5i!ht
(5 ( can keep up this pace
W(LB+)
nd !irls, i'll 6e ri!ht at your side
(5 ( can 5ind some space
MOTO)MO+TH
So you can
Hold your head up
-ust as 6i! as ya please
2ou kno4 they'll hear me knockin'
With the t4o o5 these>
Tomorro4, side 6y side
We'll sho4 the 4orld 4hat's ri!ht
,D.
Looks like i'm touchin' up my roots toni!ht>
Then 4e'll 6e
(t's time to 5ace the 5act
(t's irre5uta6le
'an't ya hear that rum6lin!<
That's our hun!er to 6e 5ree
(t's time to 5in'ly taste
,Duality
8The 'orny 'ollins Mothers and Dau!hters appear1 The protesters march into the studio causin!
caos:1
'O+.'(L MOTH,)S 9 D+*HT,)S
On mother@dau!hter day
Where thin is in,
We're 4hite as 4ool
MOTO)MO+TH
Well ladies, 6i! is 6ack>
nd as 5or 6lack, it's111
111Beauti5ul>>
MOTO)MO+TH
ll shapes and siCes, 5ollo4 me
,D.
Let's 6ust their chops>
?,LM
Guick, call the cops>
MOTO)MO+TH 9 P)OT,ST,)S
We're !onna dance our 4ay to 7ictory>
D2.M(T,S
nd !et us on T?>
P)OT,ST,)S
$111N1110111P111T?'S !ot to inte!rate>
'O+.'(L M,MB,)S
Stay a4ay> This isn't .e!ro Day>
D2.M(T,S
nd !et us on T?>
8Police sirens 4ail1 Whistles 6lo41 s the protesters continue their march, they are loaded into the
addy 4a!on1:
MOTO)MO+TH
2ou 6et ('m 6i!>
,D. 8pullin! on ?elmas hair:
This 6lond is !ray>
L(.B
Tracy, this 4as 6eauti5ul>
MOTO)MO+TH
Bi!, 6londe, and 6eauti5ul leads the 4ay>
,.S,MBL,
.o one's !ettin! on T? today>
,.D o5 'T (
'T ((
S',., ( & TH, -(L HO+S,
"%1 TH, B(* DOLLHO+S,
WOM,.
( !otta !et out
( !otta !et out
( !otta !et out
Ho4'd ( !et in this slammer
This cooler
This 6i! dollhouse>
MT)O.
lri!ht, ladies, 4elcome to the ;Bi! Dollhouse>; 3or those o5 you ne4 to the Baltimore Women's
House o5 Detention, ('m lettin! you kno4 no4 that ( donSt stand 5or 6ooCin!, dopin!, !am6lin!,
5i!htin! or any other kind o5 unladylike 6eha7iour1 Think o5 me as a mother111 one 4ho eats her
youn!>
?,LM
Locked up 4ith all these lo4li5e 4omen
,D.
nd horiContal stripes
in't e=actly slimmin'
MB,)
(s there any6ody here
Who can dry clean my 6louse<
MT)O.
(t's the maid's day o55
LL
(n the 6i! dollhouse
L('L (.,K
Lady Fustice,
Where ha7e you !one<
,D.
<<<, 4il6ur, check,
( think ( le5t the iron on>
?,LM
Did you see 'orny lau!hin!<
( could murder that louse>
MT)O.
Honey, that'll !etcha li5e
HOOB,)S
LL
Bi! house>
?,LM
Locked up here in the pen
LL
Bi! house>
MB,)
.o phone>
,D.
.o 5ood>
MOTO)MO+TH
.o men>
,D.
( need a 6ur!er deli7ery
3rom my lo7in! spouse
MT)O.
Honey, Fust eat the mice>
LL
O5 The Bi! Dollhouse
MT)O.
,=ercise ladies> 'ome on letSs start, specially you, 4ith those unslimmin! stripes>
,D. 8to Matron:
2oo hoo,
My stomach's a little sour
( ha7en't had 5ood
(n o7er an hour
MT)O.
2ou Fust had a piCCa,
Si= 6ur!ers, a mouse>
LL
There's no 5ood le5t
?,LM
Hey, matron,
( ha7e !ot to complain
HOOB,)
Mira, mami, don't ( kno4 you
3rom "st and main<
?,LM
,ek, call my attorneys
LipshitC and Strauss
( !otta !et sprun!
3rom the 6i! dollhouse
LL
Bi! house>
L(TTL, (.,K
.o 5air>
,D.
.o 5ood>
P,..2
.o 5un>
LL
Bi! house>
MOTO)MO+TH
nd our 5i!ht had Fust 6e!un
''ause it's 5reedom's 5lame
?elma'd like to douse
So 4e must 6reak out o5 this
LL
Bi! Dollhouse
MT)O.
2ou do the crime, you !otta do the time>
T)'2
Penny, ( can't take
ll this 4aitin!
('7e lost my man
Plus, my hair's de5latin!>
P,..2
Well Tracy,
( hate to !rum6le or !rouse
LL 8screamin! at Tracy:
But it's your 5ault that 4e're in
This 6i! dollhouse>>
B,T.(B 'H('B
Hey, cool it, ladies
.o need to shout
nd don't ya !ot an old man
To 6ail you out<
?,LM
Ha> Her daddy's a per7ert,
loser, a souse>
,D. 8pa4in! ?elma:
Well, it's Fust us !irls
LL
Bi! house>
MB,)
*od, i'm too youn! to 5ry>
LL
Bi! house>
,D.
('m 6ustin! out>
MOTO)MO+TH
*irl, so am (>
LL
Lady Fustice, hear my plea
''ause the 6i! dollhouse
The 6i! dollhouse
The 6i! dollhouse
in't 6i! enou!h 5or me>
3or me>
3or me>
,D.
3or me>>>
8Son! ends:1
MT)O.
)ecess is o7er> Time to pay your de6t to society1 Please keep in mind, tippin! is permited1
8She e=its:1
,D.
To think (Sd ha7e killed to ha7e criminal record 6ack 4hen my mother 4as ali7e111 sheSd 6e so
proud1 )emem6er your !randma 4as a de5ensor o5 4omenSs ri!hts1
T)'2
)i!ht1 2ou ha7en't seen the last o5 us, Mrs1 ?on Tussle1 WeSll 6e marchin! a!ain, and soon, to the
6eat o5 a 4hole ne4 era>
?,LM
Ban! your drum, no one cares1 Don't !et anymore cute ideas a6out protestin! or e7en sho4in! up
at the special1 ('ll ha7e armed !uards surroundin! the ,7entorium to make sure Tracy Turn6lad
doesn't !et 4ithin "%% miles o5 that place1 *ame, set, match1
8 Hun!arian !uard enters, 4ith his assistant holdin! a clip6oard:1
H+.*)(.
SFkldnuoadh! nFoh5uosah asoFd5niousd> LdkC5n!oidh CFsd6uosdh65uas>
Ld5kh7odh5!uoash5uaaFsd65ouashd5uoash5> lsdh5oauish5uoasdh5aad5Fa> LkC=Fn7Clsn7lCknCT=lm>
SS(ST.T
?on Tussle, ?elma< ?on Tussle, m6er<
MB,)
ThatSs us1
H+.*)(.
Lmc klh77 lk=h7oih7oiu7 lkCnioh7aoi7h>
SS(ST.T
Ladies youSre 5ree to !o 4ith the sincere apolo!ies o5 the state o5 Maryland and the personal
compliments o5 the !o7ernor himsel51
?,LM
The !o7ernor< )eally< S4eet, chu66y Millard1 We dated on and o55 in colle!e1 .o4 i5 you dou6le
4ide t4ins 4ill e=cuse me, ( ha7e a national T? Spectacular to produce1
MB,)
( 4as ne7er here1 This ne7er happened1 Oh Tracy1 ny messa!e 5or Link< Place it on my lips, and
('ll 6e sure he !ets it1
?,LM
So lon! Balti&morons>
8They e=it lau!hin!:1
,D.
( still don't care 5or them1
MOTO)MO+TH
( hear ya1 MiC1 T1 This old Fail !ot a 4hole lot nicer1
8The !uards reenter and unlock the cell door:1
H+.*)(. *+)D
SkF6nosFd6nosd!nsdF5!6a1 doF5!nod5!haoud5h!uod5 ksa5Fiu5 asodF5hoi5!hoi do5ih!osid5h!sdo5u1
SS(ST.T
2ou'7e !ot a 7isitor1 Bail has 6een posted1
MOTO)MO+TH
Thank the Lord 5or those 4ho can a55ord it1
W(LB+)
( posted 6ail1
,D.
Wil6ur> Ho4<
W(LB+)
Simple really1 ( mort!a!ed the Store1
T)'2
Oh Daddy>>
,D.
But that place is your li5e>
W(LB+)
2ou t4o are my li5e1 Bail 5or e7eryone> Bail 5or the house> 2ou're 5ree to !o1
8ll the 4omen !o out o5 the cell1 The Turn6lads han! 6ack:1
MOTO)MO+TH
The Turn6lad !an! are real !ood 5olks1 They ha7e the heart, they !et the Fokes1
MT)O.
ll prisioners kindly turn in your tap shoes on the 4ay out1
W(LB+)
Shall 4e hurry up<
MT)O.
Hold it ri!ht there1 We're keepin! that cro4d 6rain 4asher ri!ht here1
W(LB+)
But ( paid 5or e7eryone1 ( !ot a !roup discount1
MT)O. 8readin! 5rom his clip6oard:
'han!e your cupon 6ack on your 4ay out111 cause here it says that:
Miss Turn6lad is here4ith and 5orth4ith 4ithheld, 4ithout 6ail1 She is to 6e mo7ed to solitary
con5inement and held there until 5urther notice 6y special order o5 the !o7ernorSs o55ice1 So, there1
T)'2
The !o7ernorSs o55ice< Mrs ?on Tussle> Manipulatin! our Fudicial system Fust to 4in a contest is un&
merican>
MT)O.
Don't make thin!s 4orse1 Mo7e out peace5ully1 Hurry111 ('m !ro4in! old here1
W(LB+)
('m not !oin! any4here 4ithout my dau!hter1
T)'2
(tSs ok, daddy1 They canSt keep me here 5ore7er1 Besides, ('7e !otta lot to think a6out1 ( mi!ht as
4ell do it in solitary re5inement1
MT)O.
('m countin! to three and then ('m rearrestin! you all 5or ille!al trespass1
W(LB+)
LetSs !o1 We can't do Tracy any !ood here1
,D. 8To the H+.*)(. and the SS(ST.T:
Touch one hair o5 my dau!hterSs head and ('ll 6e 6ack to teach you a 4hole ne4 meanin! 5or split
ends1
8They lea7e1 Little (neC, Motormouth and Penny reappear:1
L(TTL, (.,K
Beep the 5aith, 6a6y1
MOTO)MO+TH
They ha7en't heard the last 5rom us1
P,..2
2ou are so lucky to !et out o5 the al!e6ra 5inal>
8They all lea7e e=cept Tracy:1
""1 *OOD MO).(.* BLT(MO), 8)eprise:
T)'2
Oh, oh, oh
('m all alone
My heart has !ro4n
But it's 6roken, too
This mornin!
Li5e 4as a Baltimore 5airy tale
.o4 ( can't make 6ail>
My mother's in shock
My 5ather's in hock
( much pre5er link's arms
To Failhouse cells
So link, please rescue me no4
''ause ( lo7e you
nd this prison smells1
Link, hear the 6ells>
nd !et ready, Baltimore
There's a 6ri!ht, 6rand&ne4
Day in store
Let me out so this dream's
+n5urled
('ll eat some 6reak5ast,
Then chan!e the 4orld>
nd ( promise Baltimore
Once ( cha&cha ri!ht out o5
That door
The 4orld's !onna 4ake up
nd see
Link's in lo7e 4ith me>
S',., $: T)'2'S HOM,
Wil6ur and ,dna are at home later that day1 Wil6ur is 6usily 4orkin! on a -um6o Hairspray 'an
Model1 ,dna is on the phone1
,D.
Hello< 2es Mr1 Pinky1 2es, o5 course ( understand you ha7e an empire to protect1 2es1 ('ll return the
out5its1 The pettipants too1 ( scarcely 4ore them t4ice111 6ut Mr1 Pinky, sheSs Fust a little !irl and little
!irls make mistakes1 (5 they didnSt111 Where 4ould other little !irls come 5rom<111 2es, ( understand111
it is too 6ad111 *ood6ye1 8She hun!s up:1 Oh Wil6ur, ( think (Sm !oin! mental1
W(LB+)
Ok111 ('m closin! up no4111
,D.
Oh, Wil6ur, my stomachSs in knots1 ( 6ou!ht a dou6le 6o= o5 'andy, and theySre still in the 6o=1
W(LB+)
'alm do4n s4eetheart1
,D.
( canSt calm do4n1 There are names 5or 4omen 4ho a6andon their dau!hters 4hoS7e !otten
themsel7es arrested 5or tryin! to inte!rate an a5ter&school tele7ision sho41 2es, there are names,
and Hallmark doesnSt make a card 5or any o5 them>
W(LB+)
2ou canSt 4orry a6out people callin! you names1 2ou kno4 ho4 many times ('7e 6een called
;craCy; < But ( say, ;2eah, craCy> 'raCy like a loon;1 ny4ay, 4e ha7enSt a6andoned Tracy1 (n 5act, (
!ot Fust 4hat she needs here, stand 6ack1 8The !i!antic can e=plodes: What do you think< (sn't this
!reat>
,D.
(mpressi7e, 6ut ho4 is it !onna help our Tracy<
W(LB+)
2ouSll 6e surprised1
,D.
Oh, sure>111 2ou are a 7isionary in7entor sa7in! the day1 TracySs a teen idol reshapin! the 4orld,
and 4hat am (< ( had a dream too you kno41 ( used to make my o4n clothes, remem6er< ( al4ays
dreamed one day ( 4ould o4n my o4n line o5 Dueen siCed dress patterns1
W(LB+)
2ou 4ere !ood, ,dna1
,D.
2eah< nd 4hereSs it !otten me< T4enty years later ('m still 4ashin! and mendin! and ironin!
e7eryone elseSs clothin!1
W(LB+)
One day, ,dna1
,D.
.o day, Wil6ur1 My timeSs come and !one1 ('m a 4orn out pair o5 6o66y so=, and the elastic is all
stretched1 Oh, Wil6ur, ( suddenly 5eel so111 old1
The music starts1
W(LB+)
.onsense, doll1 2ouSre as spry as a slinky1 Whene7er ('m near you is like !ra66in! hold o5 a !iant
Foy 6uCCer1
"$1 82O+'),: T(M,L,SS TO M,
W(LB+)
Styles keep a chan!in'
The 4orld's re&arran!in'
But ,dna, you're timeless to me
Hemlines are shorter
6eer costs a Duarter
But time cannot take 4hat comes 5ree
2ou're like a stinky old cheese, 6a6e
-ust !ettin' riper 4ith a!e
2ou're like a 5atal disease, 6a6e
But there's no cure
So let this 5e7er ra!e
Some 5olks can't stand it
Say time is a 6andit
But ( take the opposite 7ie4
'ause 4hen ( need a li5t
Time 6rin!s a !i5t
nother day 4ith you
t4ist or a 4altC
(t's all the same schmaltC
With Fust a chan!e in the scenery
2ou'll ne7er 6e old hat
That's that>
2ou're timeless to me
,D.
Oh, Wil6ur>
3ads keep a&5adin'
'astro's in7adin!>
But 4il6ur, you're timeless to me
Hairdos are hi!her
Mine 5eels like 6ar6ed 4ire
But you say i'm chic as can 6e>
2ou're like a rare 7inta!e ripple
7inta!e they'll ne7er 5or!et
So pour me a teeny 4eenie triple
nd 4e can toast the 5act 4e ain't dead yet>
( can't stop eatin!
2our hairline's recedin!
Soon there'll 6e nothin! at all
So, you'll 4ear a 4i!
While ( roast a pi!
Hey> Pass that !eritol
*lenn miller had class
That chu66y checker's a !as
But they all pass e7entually
2ou'll ne7er 6e passe
Hip hooray>
8They dance1:
W(LB+)
Oh> ,dna, 6a6y, dance 5or me>
,D.
Oh Wil6ur> 2ou make me 5eel like a !irl a!ain>
W(LB+)
Oh honey sho4 them the 6umper>
,D.
Oh honey, ( think my 6umperSs stuck in neutral111
W(LB+)
Oh donSt 6rake it111 4e may need it later>
,D.
What do you think o5 this dance 6i! 6oy<
W(LB+)
+hhhhh> 2es, yes yes, 4ay to !o 6a6y>
,D.
2ou're like a 6roken do4n che7y
ll you need is a 5resh coat o5 paint
W(LB+)
nd ,dna, you !ot me !oin' hot and hea7y
2ou're 5at and old, 6ut 6a6y, 6orin! you ain't>
W(LB+) 9 ,D.
Some 5olks don't !et it
But 4e ne7er 5ret it
''ause 4e kno4 that time is our 5riend
(t's plain to see
That you're stuck 4ith me
+ntil the 6itter end
nd 4e !ot a kid
Who's 6lo4in' the lid
O55 the Turn6lad 5amily tree
,D.
2ou'll al4ays hit the spot
Bi! shot>
W(LB+)
2ou'll al4ays 6e du Four
Mon amour
,D.
2ou'll al4ays 6e 5irst strin!
W(LB+)
)in!&a&din!&din!>
W(LB+) 9 ,D.
,D.
Oh 6a6y, ( lo7e ho4 you sin! to me111
,D.
W(LB+)
Oh 6a6y, your dance 4as the 6est>
W(LB+)
,D.
( kno4, honey111 2ours too111
W(LB+) 9 ,D.
2ou're timeless to me>>
S',., L & T)'2SS -(L ',LL 9 P,..2SS B,D)OOM
8Link enters:
L(.B
Tracy< Where are you< (tSs me1 Link Larkin1 3rom the sho41
T)'2
Link> O7er here>
L(.B
Shhh> The !uard's asleep1 *ee, you look 6eauti5ul 6ehind 6ars1
T)'2
(t must 6e the lo4&4att instutional li!htin!> Link 4hat are you doin! here<
L(.B
Oh, Tracy1 Seein! you dra!!ed o55 to a Fail 6rou!ht me 6ack to my senses1 ( thou!ht ('d lose it 4hen
( thou!ht ( lost you1 ( couldn't eat, ( couldn't sin!1 ( couldn't e7en concentrate1
T)'2
2ou couldn't eat<
L(.B
.o, so ( 4ent do4n to the station to tell Mrs1 ?on Tussle ( 4as throu!h 4ith the Miss Hairspray
6roadcast111
T)'2
2ou did<
L(.B
( didn't1 When ( !ot to the station ( o7erheard Mrs1 ?on Tussle talkin! to SpritCer1 Tracy, itSs m6er
the talent scouts are comin! to see1 (t had nothin! to do 4ith me1 ll this time ( thou!ht m6er and (
4ere a team1 ( 5eel such an idiot1
T)'2
That makes t4o o5 us1
L(.B
( kno4 a palooka like me isn't 4orthy o5 a !round&6reakin! e=tremist like you, 6ut111
8He produces his rin!:
(t's a little scu55ed 5rom m6er thro4in! it in my 5ace 4hen ( told her ('d rather 6e 4ith you1
T)'2
2ou did<
L(.B
( did1 So 4ould you consider 4earin! my rin!<
T)'2
Would (< Would (<
L(.B
To lose thee 4ere like to lose mysel51 Some kid named Milton 4rote that in the third&5loor 6oy's
room1
T)'2
That's 6eauti5ul1 8She puts on the rin!:1
( ha7e a !ood lo5e: !reat parents, my o4n room, L s4eaters, plus a learnerSs permit !ood throu!h
u!ust1 But you kno4 4hat ('7e 6een missin!, Link<
L(.B
( think ( do1 8They try to kiss:1
Trace, they can keep us 5rom kissin!, 6ut they can't stop us 5rom sin!in!>
"L1 W(THO+T LO?,
L(.B
Once ( 4as a sel5ish 5ool
Who ne7er understood
( ne7er looked inside mysel5
Thou!h on the outside, ( looked !ood>
Then 4e met and you made me
The man ( am today
Tracy, i'm in lo7e 4ith you
.o matter 4hat you 4ei!h
''ause111
L(.B 89 ,.S,MBL,:
Without lo7e
Li5e is like the seasons 4ith
.o summer
Without lo7e
Li5e is rock 'n' roll 4ithout
drummer
Tracy, ('ll 6e yours 5ore7er
''ause " ne7er 4anna 6e
Without lo7e
Tracy, ne7er set me 5ree
.o, ( ain't lyin'
.e7er set me 5ree, Tracy,
.o, no, no>>
T)'2
Once ( 4as a simple !irl
Then stardom came to me
But ( 4as still a nothin!
Thou!h a thousand 5ans may
Disa!ree
,.S,MBL,
Tracy>>
T)'2
3ame 4as Fust a prison
Si!nin! auto!raphs a 6ore
( didn't ha7e a clue
'Til you came 6an!in! on my door
T)'2 89 ,.S,MBL,:
That 4ithout lo7e
Li5e is like my dad 4ithout his 6romo
Without lo7e
Li5e is makin! out 4ith perry como>
Darlin!, ('ll 6e yours 5ore7er
''ause ( ne7er 4anna 6e
Without lo7e
So darlin!, thro4 a4ay the key
L(.B 9 T)'2
('m yours 5ore7er
T)'2
Thro4 a4ay the key
L(.B, T)'29 ,.S,MBL,
2eah, yeah, yeah>
8Scene 5reeCes, 4e see Penny's house at the other side o5 the sta!e:
P)+D2
Penny Lou Pin!leton, you are a6solutely, positi7ely, permanently punished1 This one's 5or 6ein!
4ill5ul1 This one's 5or 6ein! deceit5ul1 This one's 5or 6ein! ne!lect5ul1 nd this one's 5or cryin! ;4ee,
4ee, 4ee; all the 4ay home1
8The phone rin!s:
Why is it e7erytime you tie your dau!hter up, the phone rin!s<
8She e=its Fust as Sea4eed appears in the 4indo4:1
S,W,,D
8clim6in! in Penny's 4indo4:
Psst Penny> What happened<>
P,..2 8strapped into 6ed:
My mother's punishin! me 5or !oin! to Fail 4ithout permission>
S,W,,D
Well, ('m here to sa7e the 5air maiden in her to4er1
P,..2
Oh, Sea4eed> 2ou do care> ( 4as 4orried it 4as Fust a lonely teena!er's 5or6idden 5antasy1
S,W,,D
3rom the moment ( sa4 you, ( kne4 that e7en the colors o5 our skin couldn't keep us apart1 But111
this knots are somethin! else1
P,..2
Hurry, Sea4eed>
S,W,,D
Li7in! in the !hetto
Black is e7ery4here ya !o
Who'd '7e thou!ht i'd lo7e a !irl
With skin as 4hite as 4inter's sno4
P,..2
(n my i7ory to4er
Li5e 4as Fust a hostess snack
But no4 ('7e tasted chocolate
nd i'm ne7er !oin! 6ack
8He sets her 5ree:
P,..2 9 S,W,,D 9 ,.S,MBL,
''ause 4ithout lo7e
S,W,,D
Li5e is like a 6eat that you can't 5ollo4
P,..2 9 S,W,,D 9 ,.S,MBL,
Without lo7e
P,..2
Li5e is Doris Day at the pollo
P,..2 9 S,W,,D 9 ,.S,MBL,
Darlin!, i'll 6e yours 5ore7er
''ause ( ne7er 4anna 6e
Without lo7e
S,W,,D
So darlin!, ne7er set me 5ree
P,..2 9 S,W,,D
('m yours 5ore7er
.e7er set me 5ree
P,..2 9 S,W,,D 9 ,.S,MBL,
.o, no, no>
8Li!hts comes on in the Fail a!ain1 We can see 6oth couples a once:1
L(.B
(5 you're locked up in this prison, trace
( don't kno4 4hat ('ll do
T)'2
Link, ('7e !ot to 6reak out
So that ( can !et my hands on you
S,W,,D
nd !irl, i5 ( can't touch you
.o4 ('m !onna lose control
P,..2
Sea4eed, you're my 6lack 4hite kni!ht
('7e 5ound my 6lue&eyed soul
S,W,,D 9 ,.S,MBL,
S4eet 5reedom is our !oal
L(.B
Trace, ( 4anna kiss ya>
T)'2
Then ( can't 4ait 5or parole>
T)'2
Oh Link1 ('7e !ot to !et out o5 here1 (5 4e only had some hairspray and a Kippo li!hter, 4e could
make a 6lo4torch>
L(.B
('7e !ot a Kippo li!hter> nd uh111 ('7e !ot hairspray too1
8He produces it 5rom his Facket, em6arrassed:
T)'2
Link> What a special ni!ht> 2our rin!> nd your 7ery o4n 6lo4torch>
8He torches the door1 She !ets out:
L(.B
Oh Tracy>
T)'2
Oh, Link>
P,..2
Oh, Sea4eed>
S,W,,D
Oh Penny>
P)+D2
Oh my *od>
'olored people in the house1 ('ll ne7er sell it no4>
LL
''ause 4ithout lo7e
S,W,,D
Li5e is like a prom that 4on't in7ite us
LL
Without lo7e
L(.B
Li5e's !ettin! my 6i! 6reak and laryn!itis
LL
Without lo7e
P,..2
Li5e's a 'N#' 4hen you can't 6uy it
LL
Without lo7e
T)'2
Li5e is like my mother on a diet
LL
Like a 4eek that's only mondays
Only ice cream ne7er sundaes
Like a circle 4ith no center
Like a door marked ;do not enter>;
Darlin!, ('ll Be 2ours 3ore7er
''ause " ne7er 4anna 6e111
Without lo7e
P,..2 9 L(.B
2s no4 you'7e captured me
,.S,MBL,
Without lo7e
S,W,,D 9 T)'2
( surrender happily
,.S,MBL,
Without lo7e
P,..2
Oh sea4eed
LL
.e7er set me 5ree
P,..2 9 S,W,,D
.o, no, no
T)'2 9 L(.B
.o, ( ain't lyin'
P,..2 9 S,W,,D
.e7er set me 5ree
LL
.o, no, no
.o, ( don't 4anna li7e 4ithout
P,..2
Lo7e, lo7e, lo7e
L(.B
2eah, yeah, yeah
LL
Darlin!, you had 6est 6elie7e me,
.e7er lea7e me 4ithout lo7e>
S',., N: MOTO)MO+TH'S
MOTO)MO+TH
(t's a mess out here1
*()L
*ood ni!ht 5or a Fail6reak1
LO))(.,
Ms1 Motormouth, look> .o4 it 4as on channel $> They said that Tracy Turn6lad has escaped 5rom
prision1 They think she 4as helped 6y Link Larkin1 (tSs e7ery4here on the ne4s>
MOTO)MO+TH
Lord ha7e pity> (tSs a craCy city> WhoSs at the 6ackdoor<
8Sea4eed enters 4ith Penny:
MOTO)MO+TH
My 6a6y> nd111 Penny, is it<
P,..2
2es maam1
L(TTL, (.,K
Sea4eed's !ot a !irl5riend>
S,W,,D
(s it ok ( 6rou!ht her home< ( had to !et her a4ay 5rom her looney mama1
MOTO)MO+TH
( ne7er mind lo7e, itSs a !i5t 5rom a6o7e1 But 6e care5ul, cause there's a lot o5 u!ly comin! at you111
P,..2
(t's okay1 My mother's !onna kill me any4ay1
LO))(.,
.o, she 4onSt1 SheSll kill him1
8There's a knock at the door:
L(.B
Hey, MiC Motormouth1 We 6roke Tracy out o5 Fail1
LL
2eah, 4e heard> (t's on T?1
T)'2
The Fail6reak 4as easy compared to !ettin! a ca6 to this side o5 to4n1
MOTO)MO+TH
Well, 4e !otta !et 6usy1 Only $N hours till Miss Hairspray, and itSs !onna 6e on .ational T?1 We
may ne7er !et another chance like this1 nd this time 4e'll start 6y !ettin! 'orny and the !urds at
the studio to help us1
P,..2
May6e your dad could help too1 Sometimes he has ideas1
T)'2
.o111 ('7e !ot to turn mysel5 in111
LL
.o>
T)'2
( canSt put any o5 you in any more dan!er1 My daddy could lose his shop, Link, you could !o to
prision, and Penny111 your mother 4ill kill you>
LO))(.,
.o, she 4ill kill him>
D+.,
( hear you1 Besides 4e already tried it and it didnSt 4ork1
T)'2
ny4ay, this time it 4onSt 6e like yesterday1 Mrs ?on Tussle said thereSll 6e armed !uards at the
Studio1
P,..2
With arms1
T)'2
Someone could !et shot
STOO(,
nd 5or 4hat< -ust so 4e can dance on some silly sho4<
MOTO)MO+TH
Hold it> .o6ody said this 4as !onna 6e easy> (5 somethin!'s 4orth ha7in!, it's 4orth 5i!htin! 5or1
Tracy 4hy did you start all this in the 5irst place<
T)'2
( Fust think it's stupid 4e can't all dance to!ether1
MOTO)MO+TH
So you tried once and you 5ailed1 We canSt !et laCy 4hen thin!s !et craCy>
"N1 ( B.OW WH,), ('?, B,,.
MOTO)MO+TH
There's a li!ht
(n the darkness
Thou!h the ni!ht
(s 6lack as my skin
There's a li!ht
Burnin! 6ri!ht
Sho4in! me the 4ay
But ( kno4 4here i'7e 6een
There's a cry
(n the distance
(t's a 7oice
That comes 5rom deep 4ithin
There's a cry
skin! 4hy
( pray the ans4er's up ahead
''ause ( kno4 4here i'7e 6een
There's a road
We'7e 6een tra7elin'
Lost so many on the 4ay
But the riches
Will 6e plenty
Worth the price 4e
Had to pay
There's a dream
(n the 5uture
There's a stru!!le
We ha7e yet to 4in
nd there's pride
(n my heart
''ause ( kno4
Where i'm !oin!
nd ( kno4 4here i'7e 6een
There's a road
We must tra7el
There's a promise
We must make
''ause the riches
Will 6e plenty
Worth the risk
nd chances that 4e take
There's a dream
(n the 5uture
There's a stru!!le
We ha7e yet to 4in
+se that pride
(n our hearts
To li5t us up
To tomorro4
''ause Fust to sit still
Would 6e a sin
,.S,MBL,
( kno4 it, ( kno4 it
( kno4 4here i'm !oin!
MOTO)MO+TH
nd lord kno4s ( kno411
Where i'7e 6een
Oh> When 4e 4in,
('ll !i7e thanks to my !od
''ause ( kno4 4here i'7e 6een
S',., #: M(SS T,,.*, H()SP)2
'O).2
nd no4, li7e, 5rom the certi5ied up&to&code Baltimore ,7entorium111
1115or the 5irst time e7er on nation4ide tele7ision111
it's The 'orny 'ollins Spectacular111
'O+.'(L *()LS
He's 'orny>>
'O).2
1116rou!ht to you 6y +ltra 'lutch Hairspray>
"#1 8(T'S: H()SP)2
'O).2 89 ,.S,MBL,:
What !i7es a !irl
Po4er and punch<
(s it charm, is it poise<
.o, it's hairspray>
What !ets a !al
sked out to lunch
(s it 6rains, is it dou!h<
.o, it's hairspray>
(5 you take a ride
With no can at your side
Then your 5lip 4ill 6e !one
With the 4ind
But i5 you spray it and lock it,
2ou can take o55 in a rocket
nd in outer space
,ach hair 4ill 6e in place
Why take a chance
When you !et up and dance
(5 you t4ist, ( insist
2ou use hairspray
nd tell your mother
Her head she should smother
With ;ultra&clutch; 5aith5ully
So i5 you're a redhead,
6londe or 6runette
-ust take my ad7ice
nd you mi!ht Fust !et
The only thin! 6etter than hairspray
'O).2
That's me>
,.S,MBL,
Ska&doo&dle&e&ya
Doo&dle&e&ya do 4ah
'O).2
3or!et the milkman
,.S,MBL,
Hairspray> Wo4>
'O).2
That's me>
'O).2 9 ,.S,MBL,
What makes a man
)each out and touch<
+ltra clutch>
'O).2 9 ,.S,MBL,
So i5 you're a redhead,
6londe or 6runette
-ust take my ad7ice
nd you mi!ht Fust !et
'O).2
That's me>
,.S,MBL,
Ska&doo&dle&e&ya
Doo&dle&e&ya do 4ah
'O+.'(L *()LS
He's 'orny 'ollins>
'O).2
,.S,MBL,
Hairspray> Wo4>
'O).2
That's me>
,.S,MBL,
Ska&doo&dle&e&ya do 4ah
Ska&doo&dle&e&ya do 4ah>
Do 4o4>
'O).2
;Hey, 6a6y, you look like you could use a sti55 one>;
B),.D
Ska&doo&dle&e&ya&do do 4ah>>>>
8 man in a hat and a 5ake nose enters pushin! a !i!antic hairspray can1 ?elma approaches
suspiciously1:
?,LM
nd 4eSre o55 5or net4ork commercial1 What the hell is this<>
W(LB+)
Product placement1 The sponsor insists1
?,LM
What a relie51 We needed a little somethin! there1 Don't ( kno4 you<
W(LB+)
Honest ?elma, ('m a total stran!er1
8?elma 4hips o55 his hat and nose to re7eal Wil6ur:
?,LM
2ou>
W(LB+)
Damn>
?,LM
*uards> )iot SDuad> 'ome here111pronto>>
8Sea4eed and L 6oys dressed as !uards run in 5rom the aisle:
What is this< Some kind o5 TroFan Horse< WhatSs inside<
(5 your dau!hter's hidin! there she'll rot in there1 *uards, i5 any6ody touches that can111 open 5ire>
MOTO)MO+TH 8Dressed as a !uard:
+nderstood Maam1
W(LB+)
2ou 4in ?on Tussle this time1 2ou're one cle7er 4oman111 ('ll say that1
?,LM
*et out>>
8Sea4eed e=its up the aisle:
nd comin! 6ack to 'orny on camera one in L111 $111
'O).2
nd no4 5or the talent portion o5 the competition1 The 5inalists present a dance o5 their o4n creation1
m6er ?on Tussle and Tracy Turn6lad are neck to neck1 ,7en thou!h Tracy canSt 6e here, our
rules say that the contestant has to dance to 4in1 )eady m6er<
MB,)
)eady as a 6unny in ,aster1 Tracy Turn6lad, this son! is a6out you111
"01 'OOT(,S
MB,)
They came 5rom 4ay 5ar out
(n outer space
nd 4ith her help
They may destroy the human race
MB,) 9 *+2S
She's !ot cooties>
*()LS
111'ooties
MB,)
They'7e 5ound a place to nest
*+2S
She's !ot cooties
*()LS
111'ooties
MB,)
(5 ( 4ere her i'd 6e depressed
Lon! tailed, sharp nailed
3uCCy le!s, layin! e!!s
;,44, !et 'em a4ay 5rom me,
!et 'em a4ay 5rom me 111 e444>>;
(n science class
She's like a 4alkin! sho4&and&tell
Her pet skunk ran a4ay
''ause it couldn't take the smell
*+2S
She's !ot cooties
*()LS
111'ooties
MB,)
.o6ody 4ant to sit 6y her
*+2S
She's !ot cooties
*()LS
111'ooties
MB,)
She don't need a coat
''ause she's !ot 5ur>
'ircle, circle,
LL
Dot, dot, dot
MB,)
Hurry, !et your cootie shot>
;'ome on e7ery6ody, let's stamp 'em out>;
*+2S
She's !ot cooties
*()LS
111'ooties
MB,)
She's Fust as 5riendly as can 6e
*+2S
She's !ot cooties
*()LS
111'ooties
MB,)
She sho4s them cootie hospitality
*+2S
She's !ot cooties
*()LS
111'ooties
MB,)
She's like a li7in! ;t4ili!ht Cone;
*+2S
She's !ot cooties
*()LS
111'ooties
MB,)
Guick, !et rod serlin! on the phone>
MB,)
Black, 4hite, red, !reen
MB,) 9 ,.S,MBL,
,7ery color in 6et4een
MB,)
Dresses like a circus clo4n
MB,) 9 ,.S,MBL,
Some6ody ou!hta hose her do4n
MB,)
*re4 up in a cootie Coo
( 6et her t4o&ton mama's !ot 'em too>
;nd that's 5or you>;
Thank you ladies and !entlemen, and kids1 ('m no4 ready to consume the title o5 Miss Teena!e
Hairspray
8SpritCer carries the cro4n and the 6ouDuet:1
'O).2
-ust to 6e sure, ( think 4eSd 6etter check the 6oard1
8The 6oard sho4s m6er is the 4inner 6ya a 5e4 7otes:1
SP)(TK,)
2es, m6er ?on Tussle is the 4inner1
MB,)
What did ( tell you< *i7e me the cro4n, !i7e me the 5lo4ers, and e7ery6ody start 6o4in!>
8Tracy and 5riends enter throu!h the aisle:1
T)'2
.ot so 5ast, m6er1 Look 4ho's comin! throu!h the 5ront door1
'O).2
)i!ht on schedule> ( mean111 ( kno4 nothin! a6out this comple= plan1 Ladies and !entlemen ( !i7e
you the ne7er to 6e counted out Tracy Turn6lad>
"Q1 2O+ '.'T STOP TH, B,T 8Part ":
T)'2
2ou cant stop an a7alanche
s it races do4n the hill
2ou can try to stop the seasons, !irl
But ya kno4 you ne7er 4ill
nd you can try to stop my dancin' 5eet
But ( Fust cannot stand still
''ause the 4orld keeps spinnin!
')ound and 'round
nd my heart's keepin! time
To the speed o5 sound
( 4as lost til ( heard the drums
Then ( 5ound my 4ay
T)'2 9 L(.B
''ause you can't stop the 6eat
,7er since this old 4orld 6e!an
4oman 5ound out i5 she shook it
She could shake up a man
nd so i'm !onna shake and shimmy it
The 6est that ( can today
''ause you cant stop
The motion o5 the ocean
Or the sun in the sky
2ou can 4onder i5 you 4anna
But ( ne7er ask 4hy
nd i5 you try to hold me do4n
('m !onna spit in your eye and say
That you cant stop the 6eat>
8Penny appears onsta!e trans5ormed into a hot teena!e ti!ress1:
T)'2
What do ya' ha7e to say, Penny<
P,..2
( am no4 a checker6oard chick>
2ou can't stop a ri7er
s it rushes to the sea
2ou can try and stop the hands o5 time
But ya kno4 it Fust can't 6e
nd i5 they try to stop us, sea4eed,
('ll call the n & dou6le&a & < & p>
')ound and 'round1
S,W,,D
')ound and 'round
P,..2
S,W,,D
Speed o5 sound
P,..2
( 4as lost till ( heard the drums
Then ( 5ound my 4ay
P,..2 9 S,W,,D
''ause you can't stop the 6eat
P,..2 9 S,W,,D, T)'2 9 L(.B
,7er since 4e 5irst sa4 the li!ht
man and 4oman liked to shake it
On a saturday ni!ht
With all my mi!ht today
Or the rain 5rom a6o7e
They can try to stop the paradise
We're dreamin! o5
But they cannot stop the rhythm
O5 t4o hearts in lo7e to stay
''ause you cant stop the 6eat>
8The !uards re7eal themsel7es:1
T)'2
*et her> m6er, this is my dance, and it's dedicated to e7ery6ody>
'O).2
,7eryone, look111 look at the score6oard>
8(t sho4s Tracy is the 4inner:1
?,LM 9 MB,)
.o>>
MB,)
(t's 4ron!> (t's Fust so 4ron!>
L(TTL, (.,K
Hand o7er that cro4n, honey>
MB,)
2ouSll ha7e to rip it 5rom my cold dead hands>
L(TTL, (.,K
That 4ill 4ork1
T)'2
2ou can keep you cro4n, m6er1 ( ha7e my heart set on somethin! a lot more important1
L(.B
Would that happen to 6e me<
T)'2
O5 course you, Link1 But ( also 4ant a !raduate de!ree in musicolo!y 4ith a minor in ,thnic studies,
ans ( also 4ant to 6e the 5irst one to say ;The 'orny 'ollins Sho4 is no4 and 5ore7ermore o55icially
inte!rated>
'O).2
merica look up>HereSs history ri!ht 6e5ore your eyes1 Tele7ision 4ill ne7er 6e the same1
SP)(TK,)
This is mar7elous1 The phones are !oin! craCy1 ,7en the !o7ernor called1 He's enFoyin! the sho4
so much that he !ranted a pardon to Tracy> 2ou cannot 6uy this kind o5 pu6licity> ?elma, you're a
!enius>
?,LM
( am< 2es1 ( am1
SP)(TK,)
('m a6out to launch a ne4 line o5 products and ( 4ant this 4oman to head the campai!n>
?,LM 8curiously:
( Fust don't kno4 4hat to say111
SP)(TK,)
(t comes 4ith o55ices, a company car, and a hu!e salary>
?,LM 8hope5uly:
SP)(TK,)
?elma111 you're the ne4ly appointed ?ice President o5 +ltra 'lutch, 6eauty products 5or 4omen o5
color>
?,LM 8stupi5ied:
SP)(TK,)
nd no4 merica 4ould like to hear you kids sin! our ne4 theme son!1 ( think ( can !et you a
recordin! contract>
L(.B
My 6i! 6reak>
8Prudy appears:
P)+D2
*i7e me 6ack my dau!hter> ( kno4 youS7e !ot her1 ( sa4 her on T?1
Penny, ( cn hardly reco!niCe you111
P,..2
('m a pretty !irl, Mama1
P)+D2
nd you look so happy1 ( can't say it's 4hat ( 4ant111 6ut i5 this 6lack 6oy is responsi6le 5or the li!ht in
your eyes, then ho4 could ( o6Fect<
8They em6race:1
'O).2
Li7e Tele7ision> There's nothin! like it111
L(.B
This may not 6e the ri!ht moment since 4e're on national T7 and all, 6ut Tracy111 i5 ( don't kiss you
no4 ('m !onna die>
8They kiss:1
W(LB+)
That's my !irl>
?,LM
Be5ore ( !et completely sick111 could you tell me 4hat is in this can<
W(LB+)
My masterpiece1
8The hu!e can e=plodes and re7eals ,dna:
,D.
So111 4hat did ( miss< (S7e 6een stuck in that can since lunch111 ( 4ouldn't ruh in there a5ter me i5 (
4ere you111
T)'2
Mama> We did it> We're on .ational T?>
,D.
.ational Tele7ision< merica, ( made this mysel5>
"P1 2O+ '.'T STOP TH, B,T 8Part $:
,D.
2ou cant stop my happiness
''ause ( like the 4ay ( am
nd you Fust can't stop my kni5e and 5ork
When ( see a christmas ham
P)+D2
So i5 you don't like the 4ay ( look
Well, ( Fust don't !i7e a damn>
,D. , P)+D2 9 ,.S,MBL,
')ound and 'round
Then ( 5ound my 4ay
,D. 9 W(LB+) 9 'OMP.2
''ause you cant stop the 6eat
,7er since this old 4orld 6e!an
4oman 5ound out i5 she shook it
She could shake up a man
The 6est that ( can today
Or the sun in the sky
2ou can 4onder i5 you 4anna
But ( ne7er ask 4hy
nd i5 you try to hold me do4n
('m !onna spit in your eye and say
That you cant stop the 6eat>
,D.
Wil6ur, 6e a dear and !et me my
o=y!en111 .OW>
8Motormouth steps 5or4ard and remo7es her helmet:
MOTO)MO+TH 8to ?elma:
Step aside, Miss Buttercup111 it's
time to 4rap this mutha' up>
Oh, oh, oh,
2ou can't stop today
,.S,MBL,
111.o>
MOTO)MO+TH
s it comes speedin! do4n the track
,.S,MBL,
O<< <<< <<<, child, yes
MOTO)MO+TH
'hild, yesterday is hist'ry
,.S,MBL,
Be !one>
MOTO)MO+TH
nd it's ne7er comin! 6ack
,.S,MBL,
Look ahead
''ause tomorro4 is a 6rand ne4 day
MOTO)MO+TH
nd it don't kno4 4hite 5rom 6lack
,.S,MBL,
2eah>
')ound and 'round
Then ( 5ound my 4ay
''ause you cant stop the 6eat
LL
,7er since 4e 5irst sa4 the li!ht
man and 4oman liked to shake it
On a saturday ni!ht
With all my mi!ht today
''ause you can't stop
They can try to stop ths paradise
We're dreamin! o5
But you cannot stop the rhythm
2ou can't stop the 6eat>
ah, aah, aah
ah, aah, aah
ah, aah, aah
'ome on, you 7on tussles
*o on, shake your 5anny muscles
?,LM 9 MB,)
We can't>
LL
2es, you can>
?,LM 9 MB,)
.o, 4e can't>
LL
2es, you can>
?,(M 9 MB,)
2es, 4e can111>>>
LL
2ou can't stop the 6eat
?,LM 9 MB,)
,7er since 4e 5irst sa4 the sun
(t seems 7on tussle !irls are al4ays
Tryin' to please someone
But no4 4e're !onna shake and shimmy it
nd ha7e some 5un
Today>
LL
''ause you can't stop
They can try to stop the paradise
We're dreamin! o5
But you cannot stop the rhythm
''ause you can't stop the 6eat>
2ou can't stop the 6eat>>
2ou can't stop the 6eat>>>
TH, ,.D

Hairspray!

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Music: Marc Shaiman

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