October 2014 PFLAG Buffalo Niagara

Buffalo / Niagara
PO Box 617
Buffalo, NY 14207

716-883-0384

info@pflagbuffalo.org
www.pflagbuffalo.org
www.facebook.com/pflag.niagara



We meet because we have learned that
someone very close to us is Gay, Lesbian,
Bisexual, or Transgendered.


We try to help one another deal with this
information in a positive manner.


Although we do not agree at all times, we try
to be understanding.


We offer help to those who seek it, but do not
force ourselves on others.


We strive to maintain anonymity while
sharing on a level that is comfortable for all
of us.


We encourage all to attend meetings for their
own benefit as well as that of the group.


It is our hope that when each of us reaches a
point of understanding and acceptance, we
realize that this is when others need us the
most.














In place of our monthly sharing meeting,
PFLAG is hosting a screening of Out in the
Silence as part of Time to Stop Bullying
month, sponsored by The Buffalo and Erie
County Libraries.

Sunday, October 19th

1:00-3:00
Central Library; 1 Lafayette Square

A talk-back and refreshments will follow the
hour long film.

More information on Page 2.

OCtober 2014 Page 2



OUT IN THE SILENCE
Wikipedia.com

Out in the Silence is a 2009 documentary film by Joe Wilson and Dean Hamer. It chronicles the
chain of events that occur when the severe bullying of a gay teen draws Wilson and his partner
back to the conservative rural community of Oil City, Pennsylvania where their own same-sex
wedding announcement had previously ignited a controversy. The film focuses on the widely
varying, emotional reactions of the town's residents including the teen and his mother, the head
of the local chapter of the American Family Association, and an evangelical pastor and his wife.
Community Engagement Campaign
The Out in the Silence Campaign for Fairness and Equality in Rural and Small Town America uses
the film as a tool to raise the visibility of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people
and promote dialogue and bridge building [14]. The campaign has held over 500 grassroots
screenings in town halls, schools, churches, and community centers, many in isolated areas that
had not previously experienced any openly LGBT events. The Center for Social Media and the
BRITDOC Foundation have highlighted the campaign as an example of using film for social
change.
In 2011, the Campaign initiated the Out in the Silence Youth Activism Award to highlight the
work of young people on LGBT inclusion and equality.

Festival Awards and recognition
PREMIERE Human Rights Watch International Film Festival, Lincoln Center, NYC
WINNER Special Jury Prize for Bravery in Storytelling, Nashville Film Festival
WINNER Special Jury Prize for Social Significance, South Dakota Film Festival
WINNER Alternative Spirit Award, Rhode Island International Film Festival
WINNER Audience Award, Hardacre Film and Cinema Festival
WINNER Best Documentary, Rehoboth Beach Independent Film Festival
WINNER Best Documentary Out Takes New Zealand Gay Lesbian Film Festival
WINNER Rosebud Award, Rosebud Film Festival
FEATURED PRESENTATION Tribeca Documentary Series
Television Broadcast and Awards
BROADCAST PREMIERE PBS, 2010
ENCORE BROADCASTS PBS World, 2010; PBS, 2011
EMMY AWARD Outstanding Achievement in Documentary, National Academy of Television Arts
and Sciences Mid-Atlantic Chapter

Please join us as we screen this film for the public and for discussion during the month
the B&EC Library System has dedicated to the focus, Time to Stop Bullying. This is the
second movie screened by PFLAG Buffalo-Niagara in partnership with the library; last
October Bully was screened and discussed. PFLAG appreciates the opportunity as a
chance to educate, support, and advocate. A talk-back will follow the hour-long film.
October 2014







GET TO KNOW PFLAG BUFFALO NIAGARAS NEW BOARD MEMBER

Please read the letter of introduction from the newest member of the board.

My name is Julie Lazzaro Thompson. I am a 45 year old professional woman who has worked for
Macys for 25 years. I currently hold the position of account coordinator for Shiseido. I just
recently celebrated my 1 year anniversary with my wife this past June.

I have a strong passion for helping others, especially the families of gay and lesbian adolescents
and adults. I have personally experienced how difficult this adjustment period can be since I have
struggled overcoming obstacles in the relationships with my own family. I thank you for
welcoming me onto the PFLAG Board of Directors.

I believe I can be a strong asset to the PFLAG team.









PFLAG Buffalo-Niagara Board of Directors


Phil Salemi, President
Amy Fularz, Vice President
Kristian Rickard, Vice President
Brian Carrier, Treasurer
Michele Perry, Secretary
Lisbeth Ball, Director
Ann Carrier, Director
Julie Christiano, Director
Julie Lazzaro Thompson, Director




October 2014



Ben & Jerry's Signs Employers' Amicus Brief In Support Of Gay Marriage

T


Ben & Jerry's is making a bold new stand in defense of same-sex marriage.
The Vermont-based ice cream giant has signed an Employers' Amicus Brief urging the U.S.
Supreme Court to review pending marriage equality ban cases in Utah, Oklahoma and Virginia.
Company representatives confirmed the news in a lengthy post on the official Ben & Jerry's
website, jokingly calling the brief "fancy lawyer speak for a formal legal petition asking the
Supreme Court to review these latest circuit court rulings."

Often, its not enough to change the way you do business, or change the practice within your
business, Chris Miller, Ben & Jerrys Social Mission Activism Manager, said in the post. Unless
youre willing to stand up and advocate for the rights of others, not just here in our backyard but
around the world, its often just not good enough.
Miller went on to note, This is not just a concern of the gay rights community. There is a broad
base of support for a single standard across all 50 states that recognize same sex marriage.
The company confirmed the news on Twitter:
Meanwhile, officials took part in Vermont's Pride parade on Sept. 14:
Other corporations to sign the brief reportedly include Amazon, Target and Viacom. You can read
the full post on the Ben & Jerry's website here.
It isn't the first time that Ben & Jerry's has spoken up on behalf of same-sex marriage and other
lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) related issues. In 2011, company founders Ben
Cohen and Jerry Greenfield joined the Human Rights Campaign's "NYers for Marriage Equality"
effort.

Meanwhile, the company has also released special pro-marriage equality flavors, like "Hubby
Hubby" in the U.S. and "I Dough, I Dough" in Australia.

October 2014





COMING OUT AT WORK: ADVICE TO CONSIDER FROM HUMAN RIGHTS CAMPAIGN
From HRC.org

Being open at work can be a daunting challenge. But it can also relieve the daily stress of hiding
who you are. At the same time, however, no one wants to put their job security or opportunity
for advancement in jeopardy. So here are some things to think about as you consider whether or
not to come out at work:
Questions to Ask
Does your employer have a written non-discrimination policy? Does it specifically cover
sexual orientation and/or gender identity/expression? Does insurance cover domestic partner
benefits? Does health coverage cover transitioning costs?
Is there a lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender employee resource group at your
workplace?
Whats the overall climate in your workplace? Do people tend to make derogatory comments
or jokes? Are any of your co-workers openly LGBT?
What are your work relationships like? Do people discuss their personal lives? Are they asking
questions about yours? Is the atmosphere friendly or guarded?
Does your state or locality have a non-discrimination law including sexual orientation and
gender identity/expression?
Is your company ranked on the Human Rights Campaign Corporate Equality Index? If so,
what rating has it earned?

Moving Forward
Once youve assessed your workplace atmosphere, here are some practical steps to take:
Identify someone who is LGBT or LGBT-supportive, and talk to them first.
Take a breath. People will often take their cues from you on how to talk and feel about LGBT
issues. The more casual you are, the more likely they are to follow your lead.
Make a plan.
Talk about LGBT-related news stories, movies, TV shows or other topics as a way to signal
your views or start the conversation.

Bring a partner or date to company functions, or have them meet you at work one day.
October 2014




Put an HRC sticker and/or a picture of your partner on your desk.

Benefits of Being Open at Work

Eliminates the need to hide or mislead.
Makes deeper friendships possible.
Breaks down barriers to understanding.
Builds trusting working relationships.
Lets us bring our whole selves to work.
Being open can make you more productive, and can even benefit your career because your
peers will see you in a new, perhaps even courageous, light

SUGGESTED RESOURCES FROM PFLAG NY: PART 4

The New York PFLAG website, http://www.pflagnyc.org/support/suggestedreading, is a good
place to find many books of support and information. The site lists books for parents, siblings,
and teens, as well as books that focus on history, society, and religion. There are fictional pieces
for teens, non-fiction books for parents of LGBT youth, and well as for children of LGBT parents.

This is the fourth list of the resources provided on that site. You may be able to read more about
these titles without leaving this newsletter; place your cursor over the title and you may be able
to follow a link to the book.

LGBT Parenting

The Complete Lesbian and Gay Parenting Guide Arlene Istar Lev
Berkley Trade, 2004
Religion
Judaism and Homosexuality: An Authentic Orthodox View Rabbi Chaim Rapoport
Mitchell Vallentine & Company, 2004

What the Bible Really Says About Homosexuality
Daniel A. Helminiak, Ph.D. Alamo Square Distributors, 2000

Do's & Don'ts of Dealing with the Religious Right Marc Adams and Todd Tuttle
Window Books, 2000

Stranger at the Gate: To Be Gay and Christian in America Mel White
Plume, 1995
History & Society

Making Gay History: The Half Century Fight for Lesbian and Gay Equal Rights
Eric Marcus Harper Paperbacks, 2002

October 2014





Conduct Unbecoming: Gays and Lesbians in the U.S. Military Randy Shilts
St. Martin's Griffin, 2005



Positively Gay: New Approaches to Gay and Lesbian Life
Betty Berzon and Barney Frank Celestial Arts, 2004

Fiction for Teens

The Vast Fields of Ordinary Nick Burd Dial, 2009

Boy Meets Boy David Levithan Knopf Books, 2005

Annie on My Mind Nancy Garden
Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2007

Deliver Us from Evie M.E. Kerr
HarperTeen, 1995


OCTOBER 7
th
IS THE DAY TO DINING OUT FOR LIFE AND MAKE A DIFFERENCE
www.diningoutforlife.com/wny
Evergreen Health Services has been on the front line, fighting HIV/AIDS while providing services
to those living with the disease since 1983, and will continue to be there until AIDS is no more.
Evergreen strives to foster healthy communities by providing medical, supportive and behavioral
services to individuals and families in Western New York challenged by chronic or life threatening
diseases. Benedict House, founded by Father Vincent R. Crosby, OSB, in 1987, provides
residential housing opportunities and support services for persons living with AIDS.
This year Benedict House is welcomed as a new affiliate of the Evergreen Association.
How does Dining Out for Life work? Participating restaurants donate 25% or more of
the cost of your meal to the fight against HIV/AIDS. All you have to donate is your
appetite. Participating in Dining Out for Life is as easy as 1, 2, 3.
1. Make plans to dine out on Tuesday October 7, 2014 for breakfast, lunch, dinner or
more.
2. Invite everyone you know to do the same. Reservations are highly encouraged.
3. Spread the word via email on Facebook, Twitter, Foursquare, etc.
Become a Fan on Facebook to receive status updates as new and returning restaurants sign on to
participate in this 2014 event!

October 2014







PLEASE CONSIDER JOINING OR REJOINING AS A PFLAG MEMBER.

Your support helps us as educate, advocate, and support. Read below for
details. Keep in mind that membership is not needed for attendance at sharing
meetings.

Please print and submit to address on Page 1.

Please join our PFLAG chapter to support our mission at whatever level membership you can:

Lifetime Membership .................... $500 New Renewal Change of Address
Benefactor Membership .............$250
Sponsoring Membership .. $100 Advertising member (Business Card Advertisement)
Supporting Membership ...................$50
Household Membership . $30
Newsletter Subscription Only.. $15 Please contact me about volunteer opportunities


Donations of $50.00 or more can be included in the newsletter. Please circle. OK to publish Do not publish


Your National PFLAG membership is included in your local chapter dues. You will also receive the quarterly PFLAG-Pole
Newsletter delivered to your home or by email from the national office. Circle here if you dont want to receive the
PFLAG-Pole Newsletter.


Make checks payable to PFLAG Buffalo/Niagara and mail to: P.O.Box 617 Buffalo, NY 14207

PFLAG Buffalo/Niagara is a non-profit 501(c)3 and donations are tax-deductible as allowed by law.

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