Iwanaga 1

Wyatt Iwanaga
Mrs. Matusich
Gospels and Morality (2)
April 4, 2012
My Struggle with Bragging
I struggle with the temptation of bragging. Until recently, I would brag constantly,
usually about my grades or academic accomplishments. I would even bring up conversational
subjects that would allow me to brag. I felt bad about this bragging immediately after I did it,
and I still regret having done it. This regret was never enough to force me to stop. I would
almost do it without knowing it; it had become normal behavior. I probably brag because I want
people to know what I have done. I want people to care about my accomplishments. However, I
have realized I do not need to brag to have people that care about me, and that modesty is a much
better quality. In addition to this, my regret still gnaws at me. I feel egotistical when I brag.
Therefore, I want to work toward eliminating this temptation. This would help me realize I do
not need to brag to be cared for, and it would eliminate my regrets about having bragged.
Currently, I am making progress, thinking about what I say before I say it and trying to reduce
my bragging. I will continue to try to reduce my bragging by noticing when I do it and stopping
myself, which will help me develop a virtue of modesty and become a more balanced person.
In confronting my temptation, I have made progress recently. I have begun to realize
when I am about to brag, and have made steps to stop as a result. When I first started to journal
my struggle against this temptation, I had trouble resisting it. I would be tempted whenever
anyone was talking about something academic, but I would be able to resist the temptation to
brag with some difficulty, unless I was directly asked. When I was asked directly about grades, I
Iwanaga 2
would say what I got, with no modesty. After a week, I had made more progress, a result of
some introspection, but more a result of my lack of accomplishments to brag about. My grades
experienced a slight dip when I was trying to get over this vice of bragging, luckily for me.
More recently, my grades have begun to improve as a result of some high scores. This would
have prompted bragging if I hadnt made progress with my temptation, but I have managed to
think about what I am about to say, and thus keep myself from bragging. A good example of this
overall trend can be seen in my dealing with AP United States History midterms. Ive done well
on all midterms in the class, but my reaction to the scores has changed. At the beginning of the
year, before this unit started, and I did not think about my temptation with bragging, I would ask
people what they got on their midterms, bringing it up during conversation, with the sole
objective to tell them what I had received and impress them. However, when I received my
grade on the last midterm of the class, which was as good as any I had received prior, I didnt
bring up the midterm at all. I only said I did well when asked, and I only stated my score when
directly asked. Thus, I seem to have become more modest. I have achieved this through a
combination of introspection and luck. By realizing what I had been doing unconsciously, I was
able to realize when I was bragging and prevent myself from doing so. I was lucky in that I have
not had much to brag about, which makes resisting the temptation easier. Because it has been
easier to resist the temptation, I have not become discouraged, and I plan to keep eliminating this
vice. I have learned that simply thinking about what you do can have a great impact on your
actions, and that it is rewarding to resist a temptation.
I am not the first to struggle with temptation. Temptation has been a part of human
nature since the very beginning, and others have dealt with temptation in much the same way as I
have. Parallels can be seen between my struggle with bragging and Saint Pauls description of
Iwanaga 3
his struggle with temptation in Romans 7:15-25. Paul describes his struggle against temptation
as something he is conscious of, but cannot stop. He hates his actions even as he does them. I
felt the same way as I bragged. I would brag and immediately regret having done it, feeling as
though I had done something wrong. Just as Paul did what he knew was wrong, I bragged
knowing it was a vice. However, in both cases, the temptation overcame the good intentions.
Thus, parallels can be drawn between my own struggle and the struggle of Saint Paul. Parallels
can also be drawn from my struggle with temptation to other passages of scripture, such as Jesus
miracles. In particular, the Healing of the Paralytic, as seen in Matthew 9:1-8, can be related to
my struggle. Jesus heals the paralytic physically, but he first forgives the mans sins, healing
him spiritually. Thus, the link between mental health and physical health can be seen in his
miracles. Jesus makes the man whole in both body and mind, healing his crippled body and
removing the burdens of his sin from his mind. Wholeness in the body cannot happen without
wholeness in the mind. Jesus proclaims that it is easier to say Your sins are forgiven than to
say Rise and walk (Mt 9:5). Thus, Jesus first works toward mental wholeness before tackling
other problems, just as I have tried to do in my struggle against temptation. I seek to think about
what I am doing, trying to identify when I brag and why. In doing this, I can help myself to
reach mental wholeness before finally eliminating my bragging, just as the paralytic reached
mental wholeness before overcoming his physical problems. Thus, my struggle, though not as
important as the miracles of Jesus or the struggles of Paul, is still similar in some ways to the
struggles and actions of these two great men.
Overall, I have learned much about dealing with my temptation. I feel I have made
progress in resisting my temptation, and that I know what I must do to continue. According to
Teen Health and Wellnesss article on being gifted, bragging is something that comes with
Iwanaga 4
getting high grades. Though I would not like to call myself gifted, almost bragging in itself, the
article about being gifted on the Teen Health and Wellness website relates well to my struggle.
It advises, Keep in mind that you are still a teenager who is under the guidance of parents
and teachers (Teen Health and Wellness, Being Gifted). I must keep things in perspective, as
advised by the article. This is a piece of advice that had not occurred to me, and should serve to
keep my ego and my bragging in check. This, in addition with what I have learned through this
journaling process, will continue to help me in finally overcoming my temptation. I expect to
continue working at the problem gradually, eventually achieving a balance between recognizing
my achievements and being modest. I do not seek to be modest to the extreme, but to achieve
balance and wholeness. I doubt I will ever completely eliminate the temptation to brag, but I can
work on reducing and resisting it in order to become a more balanced individual.