The graphs below provide information on global population figures

and figures for urban populations in different world regions.

The line graph illustrates the increase in global population from 1800 to 2100,
while the bar chart predicts the number of people who live in cities in
developed and less developed regions.
Overall, there is an upward trend of the number of world population. The
urban population in developing regions is expected to increase substantially,
while that of developed region is predicted to keep stable.
Comment [AB1]: In the number of people in the
world / in the worlds population.
Comment [AB2]: You need to say when here : -
between 1800 and now.
Comment [AB3]: Again you should say : -
between 2015 and 2040.
In 1800, there were 1000 million people in the world, and the worldwide
population witnessed a gradual growth to 2000 million by 1920. After that, a
rapid rise was seen in the size of people around the world, peaking at
approximately 8000 million by the end of 2040, before it is thought to
experience a decline by nearly 2000 million at the end of the period shown in
the graph.
The urban population in developed regions is expected to stand at about 1300
million, whereas it is expected to see almost a twofold increase in the number
of urban people in developing regions between 2015 and 2040.

IELTS Marking
Criteria
My comments
Band
score

Task Fulfilment


Presents a clear position throughout the response. Presents a
clear overview of main trends, however, it is unclear at times
which periods of time you are talking about - in your
overview you should specify timer time periods as well as
picking out general trends.


6.0

Cohesion and
Coherence


Logically organises information and ideas; there is clear
progression throughout. Presents a clear central topic
within each paragraph. Uses cohesive devices effectively,
but the lack of time references (years) and in the case of
this sentence: -, before it is thought to experience a
decline by nearly 2000 million at the end of the period
shown in the graph. the information is about after not
before there is some confusion.


http://library.bcu.ac.uk/learner/writingguides/1.33.htm

6.0

Lexical resource


Generally appropriate word choices and some very good
collocation - witness growth; upward trend; increase
substantially.

6.5
Grammatical
Range
and accuracy


Makes some errors in grammar and punctuation but
they rarely reduce communication. However, your
mistakes repeat in the task i.e. the wrong tense and
prepositions. The tenses are the problem here you can
use all present simple tense if you want; if you choose to
use past tense, write about specific years, present perfect
needs to be used to talk about past until now and future
tense (will) or (expected to/projected to) for future
trends. You do show control of grammar though with
your longer sentences meaning that you show more a



6.5
Comment [AB4]: Has been seen (until now)
Comment [AB5]: Size of population / number of
people
Comment [AB6]: Which will peak (in the future)
Comment [AB7]: A new sentence and it should
be after; not before.

After this year, numbers are projected/ will
experience a decline of 2000 million ..
(experience a .. of )


Comment [AB8]: developing
Comment [AB9]: Your meaning here is in the
future but you mean in the past until now -

The urban population in developing regions has
steadily stood at 1300, whereas developed
countries is expected to see almost.
grammar capability of a 7.0.



Overall score : 6.0 /6.5 because there are issues with tenses and lack of detail (about
years) sometimes it is difficult to follow your description of the data.



Some useful information

There has been an increase in the number of people aged over thirty. [correct]
There has been an increase of the number of people aged over thirty. [incorrect]

Between 1990 and 2000, there was a drop 15%. [incorrect]Between 1990 and 2000, there was a
drop of 15%. [correct]

We use a noun describing a specific trend or change + in + a word phrase describing the thing which
has changed:
* a(n) cut / decline / decrease / drop / fall / increase / reduction / rise, etc. in something
There have been dramatic cuts in the level of spending on the elderly.
The chart shows a decline in the bird pouplation.

* a(n) change / growth / improvement / trend / variation, etc. in something
There have been significant improvements in health care.
We have seen massive changes in people's lifestyles.

We use a noun describing a change or the result of a change + of + a number showing the size of the
change:
* a(n) decrease / drop / fall / increase / reduction / rise, etc. of + number
The statistics show a reduction of 20% in energy costs as a result of the government's new measures.
The radio station experienced a fall of 36,000 listeners to a total audience of 2.1 million.

* a high / low / maximum / total / peak, etc. + of + number
Demand reached a peak of 45,000 in early March.