14 Characteristics of Amazing Mentors

What is a mentor? Heres the dictionary definition:

Noun: an experienced and trusted adviser.
In order to be a mentor, you need to be seen as experienced and successful at something. A
mentor gives advice and guides someone who is less experienced and successful, i.e., a
mentee or protg.
Mentoring is a gift and a privilege. To be asked by someone for mentoring means that person
sees you as a role model and believes your wisdom can help he/she grow and be more
successful.
Mentoring someone has the potential to be one of the most rewarding and satisfying things
youll ever do in your career.
If you have been asked by someone to be their mentor dont just be an okay mentor be an
amazing mentor! Be that person who made a difference in a persons life!
What does an amazing mentor do? When people are asked to describe their most amazing
mentors, here are the 14 characteristics most often mentioned:
1. They are present.
Amazing mentors are incredibly focused and in the moment. They take a sincere interest in
their mentees, and treat their time spent as important. They hold their calls, shut their doors,
turn off their phones, and give their mentees 100% undivided attention.
2. They listen.
While you can feel when someone is present, listening is the most visible skill most often
used to demonstrate presence. Active listening comes across in making eye contact, attentive
body language, paraphrasing, and giving encouragement to open up. Great listeners are
genuinely curious about learning more, and they listen for understanding, disciplining
themselves to suspend their own judgment. Sometimes, thats all someone needs just to be
heard, and to think things through for themselves. Listening is the ultimate form of respect.
3. They ask awesome questions.
Amazing mentors dont just tell war stories and spew advice. In addition to listening, they ask
awesome questions lots of them! They use questions as a way to learn more, and more
importantly, as a way to help the mentee clarify and solve his/her own problems.
4. They are role models.
Amazing mentors are always aware of the impact of their behaviors on others. The lessons
learned are, Do as I do, not just what I say.
5. They keep their promises and hold their mentee accountable.
Mentoring sessions often end with a list of action items, and amazing mentors are very adept
at summarizing who is going to do what by when. Then, at the start of the next session, they
will report on what they did and ask the mentee to do the same. By doing so, they are role
modeling personal accountability, and they dont appreciate it when a mentee hasnt
completed their homework. They will let them know that its an expectation and condition of
continuing the mentoring relationship.
6. They learn from their mentees.
Amazing mentors learn as much from their mentees and their mentees learn from them they
at least try.
7. They are humble.
Being asked to be a mentor can be a huge ego trip if you let it be. Amazing mentors realize
mentoring is not all about them its about the growth and development of the mentee. Being
a role model does not mean having to be seen as perfect. Mentees can learn just as much
about your mistakes and shortcomings as they can your successes and strengths. Sharing your
mistakes and lessons learned, and what you are doing to develop yourself helps establish trust
and gives your mentee permission to be vulnerable.
8. They share amazing stories.
In addition to listening and asking great questions, mentors can teach by telling compelling
stories about their own lessons learned. Storytelling is an art and should not be overused a
good rule of thumb is one story per mentoring session, but make it a good one.
9. They give feedback.
When a mentor offers feedback, its offered as a gift with the intention of helping the mentee
learn about himself/herself and grow. Amazing mentors because they take such a genuine
interest, listen, and ask such great questions will learn a lot about what makes a mentee tick.
They have the ability and sensitivity to offer specific, sincere, and timely feedback.
10. They are patient.
Amazing mentors remember what its like to be new or inexperienced, and will allow their
mentees the time to reflect, form insights, make mistakes, learn, and grow at their own pace.
While they set high standards and will push a mentee to do more than they thought they could
do, they dont expect unrealistic, overnight improvement.
11. They respect and honor confidentiality.
Amazing mentors expect what, is said in Vegas, stays in Vegas.
12. They practice Situational Leadership.
The same approach shouldnt be used for every mentee. Some people are less experienced
and require more direction and support, while others are more experienced and may just need
to be listened to and given a vote of confidence. Amazing mentors vary their approach to the
individual and to the situation.
13. They set boundaries.
The best mentors dont date their mentees, are not friends with their mentees, and know
where to draw the line between a trusted professional relationship and an intimate personal
relationship.
14. They value diversity.
Amazing mentors dont just seek or do well with mentees that remind them of themselves
when they were younger. They are willing to push themselves out of their comfort zone and
mentor those are very different than themselves.
12 Ways for Leaders to Build a Solid
Foundation of Trust with their Employees

A solid foundation of trust is critical to any healthy and productive relationship. Trust is the
biggest and most important building block of teams, marriages, friendships, and the
relationship between a leader and his/her employees.
Without trust, communication, coaching, engagement, and the ability to manage change all
break down, productivity suffers, and your most valued employees become flight risks.
One of the toughest messages Ive had to deliver as an executive coach is to present data to a
leader that their employees dont trust them. Most leaders like to see themselves as basically
trustworthy. Finding out that their employees dont trust them or question their integrity can
be devastating and difficult to accept.
If youve gotten this feedback, or suspect people do not trust you, here are 12 things you can do to
begin to re-build a foundation of trust.

1. Dont over commit and do keep your promises. Being seen as unreliable is a form of mistrust.
Dont promise or commit to something unless you know you can honor the commitment. Then,
follow through. Do what you say youre going to do.

2. Keep confidences. Being seen as someone who can't keep a secret is another cause of mistrust.
However, as a manager, dont promise confidentiality if you arent sure if you can or should keep the
information from others (i.e., performance, legal, ethical issues).

3. Admit your mistakes. Admitting your mistakes (or weaknesses) shows vulnerability, humility, and
accountability. Dont look for someone else to blame. Learn from your mistake, dont dwell on it,
and move on.

4. Get feedback. While its a tough pill to swallow, awareness that your employees dont trust you is
the first step to recovery. A lack of trust can mean many things, and getting specific feedback is a
way to diagnose the problem and take the right corrective actions.

5. Share credit and acknowledge the contributions of others. Be an advocate for others ideas,
especially your peers. Being seen as stealing one of your employees innovative ideas is a trust
deal-breaker!

6. Dont do anything newsworthy. That is, dont do anything that you wouldnt feel comfortable
reading about in the newspaper the next day. Your character as a leader is defined by the decisions
you make while no one is watching.

7. Dont gossip. Dont talk about others behind their backs, unless its something positive. If you do,
others will assume youre doing the same to them. And if you say something positive, you can
assume it will get back to them.

8. Share information. Leaders often keep people the dark about where they are going or what they
are planning. In the absence of good information, people draw their own conclusions. Guesswork is
a shaky foundation of trust. Give people consistent updates, status reports, and explain the reasons
for your decisions.

9. Get to know people, develop relationships. If you take the time to get to know others and share
information about yourself, people will be less likely to question your motives and give you the
benefit of the doubt.

10. Make sure your message is consistent. Leadership starts with a clear and consistent vision,
goals, and values. Dont say different things to different audiences, in an attempt to please
everyone. And if you change your mind about something, explain why your opinion has changed.

11. Be a straight-shooter. When asked a question, give a complete, direct answer no smoke and
mirrors. If you dont have the answer, dont fake it.
12. Trust your employees. As a leader, its not your employees responsibility to earn your trust.
You assume your employees are trustworthy and treat them like you trust them. Your employees
will be more willing to trust you if they know you trust them.


Top 10 Ways to Build Trust at Work
Do you want to know how to build trust in your organization? You cannot always control the
trust you experience in your larger organization, but you can act in ways that promote trust
within your immediate work environment.
Destroying trust and rebuilding trust allow you to look at what doesn't work to build a
trusting work environment. These are places that you don't need to go.
Build trust instead from the beginning of your relationship with a new employee. The
following are ways to create and preserve trusting relationships in a trust promoting work
environment.
How to Build Trust
Hire and promote people, who are capable of forming positive, trusting interpersonal
relationships with people who report to them, to supervisory positions. The supervisor's
relationship with reporting employees is the fundamental building block of trust.

Develop the skills of all employees, and especially those of current supervisors and people
desiring promotion, in interpersonal relationship building and effective interpersonal skills.

Keep staff members truthfully informed. Provide as much information as you can
comfortably divulge as soon as possible in any situation.

Expect supervisors to act with integrity and keep commitments. If you cannot keep a
commitment, explain what is happening in the situation without delay. Current behavior and
actions are perceived by employees as the basis for predicting future behavior. Supervisors
who act as if they are worthy of trust will more likely be followed with fewer complaints.

Confront hard issues in a timely fashion. If an employee has excessive absences or spends
work time wandering around, it is important to confront the employee about these issues.
Other employees will watch and trust you more.

Protect the interest of all employees in a work group. Do not talk about absent employees,
nor allow others to place blame, call names, or point fingers. Employees learn to trust when
they know that their names are not being taken in vain.

Display competence in supervisory and other work tasks. Know what you are talking about,
and if you dont know admit it. Nothing builds trust more effectively than a manager
saying that he doesn't know and will find out so that everyone is informed. The worst
reaction occurs when a manager pretends to know and offers faulty information. Employees
forgive a lack of knowledge - they never forgive a liar.
Listen with respect and full attention. Exhibit empathy and sensitivity to the needs of staff
members. Trust grows out of the belief that you understand and can relate.

Take thoughtful risks to improve service and products for the customer. When you
demonstrate that risk-taking is promoted, you demonstrate that employees may do the
same - especially if there are no consequences when a thoughtfully considered risk goes
awry. When consequences for risk taking don't occur, trust is cemented.

If you are a supervisor or a team member, set high expectations and act as if you believe
staff members are capable of living up to them. This trust and support will draw forth your
employees' best efforts and their trust in return.
The Human Resources professional has a special role in promoting trust. So do line
managers. You coach managers and supervisors about all of the appropriate roles described
above in building trust relationships.
You also influence the power differentials within the organization by developing and
publishing supportive, protective, honorable policies. You are influential in building
appropriate social norms among people who are doing different jobs in your organization.
Engage in trust building and team building activities only when there is a sincere desire in
your organization to create a trusting, empowering, team-oriented work environment.
Engaging in these activities for any but honorable reasons is a travesty and a sham. People
will know the difference, or they will find out, and then, they will never trust you.
Build a Trust Relationship Over Time
Trust is built and maintained by many small actions over time. Marsha Sinetar, the author,
said, Trust is not a matter of technique, but of character; we are trusted because of our way
of being, not because of our polished exteriors or our expertly crafted communications.
You can build trusting relationships and a culture of trust in your workplace. You build trust
through all of your actions and every interaction you have with coworkers and employees.
You build trust one step at a time. Trust is fragile, but strengthens over time with - you
guessed it - more trust. Prove yourself and your organization worthy.
References About Trust Relationships
Dirks, Kurt T., Journal of Applied Psychology, Vol 85(6), Dec, 2000. pp. 1004-1012.
Jones, Del, Gannett News Service, 2001.
Meyer, R.C., Davis, J. H., and Schoorman, F. S., Academy of Management Review, 20(3),
1995.
Tway, Duane C., A Construct of Trust, Dissertation, 1993.
Tway, Duane C., Unpublished Paper, Leadership and Trust: An Imperative for the Transition
Decade and Beyond, 1995.