Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/1415272.

Rating:
Explicit
Archive Warning:
No Archive Warnings Apply
Category:
M/M
Fandom:
One Direction (Band)
Relationship:
Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan/Barbara Palvin, Perrie
Edwards/Zayn Malik
Character:
Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles, Niall Horan, Zayn Malik, Liam Payne,
Perrie Edwards, Barbara Palvin, Nick Grimshaw, everyone but the
boys are only very minor
Additional Tags:
Fake/Pretend Relationship, THE MOTHER OF ALL PUBLICITY
STUNTS, as in Louis and Harry fake a relationship for publicity, way
better than haylor no??, The side pairings are very very minor, also
this will eventually have smut, I promise!!, I have no idea what to tag
this..., does it show?, (yes), Canon Compliant, ish, canon AU,
basically they're cute as fuck even when they aren't actually together,
just read no?, I've got no idea what I'm even saying anymore,
IGNORE THESE TAGS JESUS, Coming Out, Now for the smut tags,
Top Harry, Top Louis, (because they kinda share that really), Anal
Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Rimming, thigh fucking, Angst,
Friends to Lovers
Stats:
Published: 2014-04-04 Completed: 2014-07-04 Chapters: 13/13
Words: 153840
And Then a Bit
by infinitelymint
Summary
Wed like to give the fans what they want. Magee states, placing his hand on the table in
front of him and leaning forward. We want to give them Larry Stylinson.

Or, take a parallel universe where Louis and Harry were never together, mix in a two
year hiatus and an impending comeback, pour in a dash of lost fans, two tablespoons of
strong friendship and a Modest! employee with a good idea. Add a squeeze of pretending
to be a couple, lots of kisses and a tattoo or two. Stir. Serve: the mother of all publicity
stunts.

(aka Harry and Louis fake a relationship for publicity. Eventually it becomes a lot less fake
and a lot more real.)
Notes
Hiiiiiiiiiiiii.
Okay, so, wow-- uumm... I got the idea for this fic in August 2013, so !!!!!!!!! that I'm
finally posting. Crayzyyyyy.
First off a massive, massive thank you to the wonderful Jess and Loo for being the most
brilliant betaes and britpickers ever! Thank you thank you thank you thank you. I could
say it infinitely, and it would never suffice. THANK YOU!
And, just, this fic would not be here right now if not for the wonderful, fantastic, brilliant
Nina, who encouraged me to get back into it, and who has held my hand and petted my
hair and cheered me on since January - this is as much to your credit as mine. This fic is
for you. Jo, den er!
I hope you enjoy reading, and at least give the first proper chapter a shot, it'd mean a lot.
Oh, and I should probably mention that since the plot of this was conceived in August, I
conveiniently ignore things such as their three month "break".
I'll try to update every Friday!
xxxx
PROLOGUE




(x)
I thought our story was epic, you know, you and me.
Spanning years and continents.
Lives ruined, bloodshed.
(Veronica Mars - Look Whos Stalking)

PROLOGUE:
They finished their Where We Are-tour on a Saturday night in Sydney, and Louis had never
been as tired nor as high on adrenaline in his life. Looking back on it now, almost two years later,
Louis can still hear the screaming fans, still feel the pressure from Harrys hands squeezing his
shoulder, still smell the sweat that clung to their bodies like a second skin, still feel the energy in
the air. Theyd stood there on stage, having just performed What Makes You Beautiful, arms
around each other, grins matching, and it had felt like they could literally do anything in the world.
Truth is, back then they could have. Theyd had success for breakfast, fame for lunch and
idolization for dinner. Theyd been the worlds biggest boy band, they were loved and adored and
coveted, and, damn it, they were good.
And they were tired.
They were worn out, worked to the bone, and they needed a break. A hiatus, Liam kept calling it,
feeling the need to remind everybody that it wasnt the end, that it wasnt permanent. Theyd sat
down in Louis hotel room on a Monday during the Australian leg of their tour, and it had been
Zayn that brought it up first.
Little Mix is taking 2014 off, hed said. Theyre gonna use the time to write a new album,
right? But also, you know, to get some peace and quiet
And they all knew what he was getting at. Perrie and Zayn had been engaged since August 2013,
but between One Direction and Little Mix, they saw each other so rarely that they hardly had time
to be engaged, much less plan and have a wedding. They understood how much of a temptation it
must be for Zayn, knowing that Perrie will be home in London for a year, knowing that they
could finally be an actual couple, waking up next to each other every day, doing the weekly shop
together and finally, finally getting married.
None of them had known how to respond, and the next few moments were filled with silence.
Itd be nice, wouldnt it? Harry said eventually. Just for a little while. Just to slow down a bit,
yeah?
And the thing is, it did sound nice. Nice and fantastic and unbelievable and also fucking
terrifying.
Itd just be a hiatus, right? Liam spoke. Like well take some time off, write some songs,
appreciate the quiet life, and then well be back, yeah? Together again? New album, new tour?
Course, mate! Niall smiled. Like you could get rid of us that easily. Well still be One
Direction when were old and senile.
Four pairs of eyes shifted to Louis, who had remained silent throughout it all. He sighed quietly,
ran a hand through his unstyled hair and nodded, I think a break is exactly what we need.
A hiatus, Liam corrected and Louis smiled.
A hiatus. Harry repeated, nodding, and that had sealed it.
Management had been harder to convince. They were certain that even if the boys did return from
their hiatus, the fan base would be long gone, but they were steadfast in their decision. In the end
they compromised. The boys would release a Greatest Hits album in time for Christmas and then
the hiatus would be announced. Theyd agreed on giving themselves two years. It seemed such a
long time, but theyd been going a hundred kilometres an hour for four years and they needed it.
They were to use the last six months of their hiatus to record a new album, so that it would be
ready when they returned.
And that was where they were now. Two years later and ready to take on the world again.
It had been two strange years for all of them. Equal parts fantastic and horrible. It was nice to be
able to live in the same place for an extended period of time, nice to be able to see their families
more often, nice for those with significant others to be able to spend every day with them.
Zayn and Perrie had gotten married six months into the hiatus, a lovely quiet affair, and Louis
doesnt think he has ever seen Zayn that happy before. If nothing else, the hiatus was worth it just
to see that.
But it had been tough as well, tougher than Louis had expected. It was quite natural that the hiatus
meant seeing less of the boys, but it was something else entirely when it actually happened.
Niall went back to Ireland for a time, and ended up doing a bit of writing with various artists.
They all wrote a lot during the hiatus, really. It wasnt long before Niall rekindled the flame with
Barbara, and a year into the hiatus, they went public with their relationship. It was the first time
Niall had ever been officially taken since joining One Direction, but people had been
extraordinarily supportive of it. Then again, it could easily just be because people didnt care
anymore? It was so hard to distinguish between the two these days.
Liam had spent the first seven months in London, and after a bad break up with Sophia, hed
packed his bag and moved to LA to live. Hed gotten involved in a lot of producing in his time
there, and had found a genuine joy in being behind the scenes of the music making, besides just
the writing hed been enjoying for a long time now.
Harry had spent a lot of time with Ed. Theyd taken up writing together, and Harry had co-written
quite a few of the songs on Eds newest album. About a year into the break, Harry had joined Ed
on his tour of North America, travelling with him for two months, and theyd surprised fans with a
duet between the two of them. A bonus track for Eds upcoming album. That had spurned quite a
large number of Harry Styles Quits One Direction, Heartthrob Ready to Go Solo-rumours,
none of which held any truth, Harry was quick to reassure the boys.
Wouldnt ditch you for a solo career even if it was the last thing on earth to do. Six months until
its proper back to work, lads! Miss you .xx
In truth, theyd all been surrounded by break-up rumours and solo-rumours ever since they
announced their hiatus. Few believed that they would ever return as a band. Little Mix had
managed to do so with surprising success a new marketing strategy making them much more
attractive to the American market, and they were doing better overseas than theyd ever done
before. The boys had been comforted by their apparent success.
As for Louis, hed spent the first few months on his sofa, to be honest. It was the strangest thing,
finally being completely free. When theyd broken up their actual relationship, and subsequently
entered their publicity relationship, he and Eleanor had signed a two year contract, and when it
was finally coming to its close in January 2013, Modest! had called them in for renegotiation.
Neither of them had wanted to renew, sick and tired of the lies and the hassle, and somewhere
along the way theyd gone from a friendship to mild dislike. They were sick of each other, plain
and simple. They had somehow been talked into signing a six month contract though, in order for
PR to set up a believable break-up, and Louis had finally been officially single in June 2014.
So when the tour was done, not only did he not have to worry about his obligations to One
Direction, he also didnt have to keep up appearances when it came to his supposed relationship
with Eleanor. So hed spent the first little while on his sofa playing shitty FIFA games and eating
the kind of food Harry would have scolded him for.
He felt restless quickly though and took to writing a lot, penning plenty of potential songs for their
upcoming album, even selling some to other artists. He grew frustrated, though, with his lack of
musical talent, and decided one day to take up piano again, intent this time on learning it one
hundred percent. Hed hired a private teacher, and it had taken a lot of effort and time, but
eventually he mastered the piano to the degree where he felt confident in his abilities.
Besides occupying himself with the piano, hed volunteered for a position as a footie coach for a
team of young boys in Doncaster, leaving him at home every Thursday for training and supper at
his mums. It was nice, the feeling that hed come closer to his family during the break, ever since
hed broken up with El, and no longer felt the pressure of lying and pretending when he was
home.
The boys had seen each other a lot less than theyd liked, but theyd never lost contact. They were
constantly keeping each other in the loop, from texting to calling to silly snapchats of what they
were doing. And they met up of course, albeit not as much as they wished they could, what with
all of their individual projects.
All in all, though, they were all happy when it came to the time to meet up and start working on
their new album.



Hed gotten the phone call on a Tuesday morning.
Good morning, Mr. Tomlinson, a vaguely familiar voice had said when Louis had picked up his
phone with his usual Hello?.
This is Amanda Carter, Mr. Griffiths personal assistant. Wed like for you to come in for a
meeting tomorrow morning at 9 oclock, if you are free?
Louis had frowned in confusion, but agreed nonetheless. Right, um, yeah, sure. Im free.
Splendid. 9 oclock in conference room 2, please. Well see you tomorrow, Mr. Tomlinson.



That Tuesday morning for all intents and purposes a Tuesday like all the rest Louis would
never have believed that in less than a month hed be holding Harrys hand, his best friends hand,
for all the world to see, hundreds of camera-flashes going off, blinding them. Harrys hand in his
the only thing grounding him to the present.
And so it had begun.
I
Chapter Notes
Again the biggest thank you to Jess and Loo for being the bestest best betaes and
britpickers!
And Nina for just being the best!
And without further ado - chapter I:
See the end of the chapter for more notes
AND THEN A BIT
Men mske er det her tiden
Hvor det godt m vre lidt ude af kontrol
Mske er det her ret
Hvor vi ikke lover mere end vi kan holde
Mske er de her dage
Nogle vi husker som dem der satte os fri
(Marie Key De Her Dage)
CHAPTER I:
Louis has always felt a bit like he was being summoned to a secret spy organisation when Modest!
requested meetings like this, for some reason. Maybe it was the sort of mysterious call, the heres-
the-time-and-place-but-dont-think-well-bother-to-tell-you-why-youre-being-summoned-call.
At any rate, he finds himself up bright and early, donning a maroon t-shirt and black skinny jeans
cuffed at the bottom, showing off his tanned ankles and his The Rogue tattoo. On his feet he
slips a pair of worn out black vans no socks and his hair is styled into a messy quiff. He grabs
his sunglasses and jacket from a nearby chair, where he had recklessly disposed of them yesterday
when he came back from a late night trip to Tesco, and makes his way out of his house, mentally
checking that he hasnt forgotten anything of importance.
Keys? Wallet? Phone? Check. Check Check.
He turns on the radio as he pulls out of his garage, listening to the last few lines of Little Mixs
newest single that is playing. He smiles slightly, remembering how lost Zayn had been when
Perrie had really started working again after a year of domestic bliss. But what am I supposed to
do now, Louis? Hed whined to Louis over the phone. Louis, the ever sympathetic chap that he
is, had merely laughed at him and exclaimed that it wasnt like Perrie had died or anything, shed
still be around.
Lucky for the girls, theyd managed to make a successful comeback when they released their
newest album 14 months after their hiatus had begun, it didnt take long for them to be back where
theyd been before their break, better even. It gave Louis hope that maybe the same would be the
case for them. So far things were looking quite glum, though. Theyd always prided themselves
on having the best fans in the world. They were passionate and dedicated if sometimes verging
on the crazy but above all else, they were loyal. Even though management had had plenty of
worries regarding the fickleness of todays teens, Louis had been positive that their fans would still
be there when they returned.
Unfortunately, it seems like management might have been right. And it isnt that people dont
remember them, or that they dont still have fans, but it clearly isnt the same. Not that hed
expected it to be the same, but
Ever since they began making their next album five months ago, PR has worked around the clock
to amp up the boys, and gather the following they used to have. It seems, though, that people are
over 1D. Little Mix had only been away for a year, and theyd managed to hold on to their
fanbase pretty successfully, and those theyd lost they either won back once their newest album
had been released, or they had gained new fans to make up for those who disappeared. It appears
that a year is the limit for a teenage girls attention span. One Direction is nearing two, and while
things arent exactly at we-might-as-well-give-up-no-one-likes-us-anymore-level, they are
nowhere near the comeback the boys had hoped to make. And the thing is, its not like the 12
years olds are their target market any more theyve grown up a lot since, theyre no longer the
teenage lads who sang Torn with great gusto. Theyre older, more mature, and so is their music.
Ideally theyd like to attain an older audience, someone more their own age but how do you do
that when people still see you as an 18-year old with Justin Bieber hair?
Louis sighs as he pulls into the parking lot of the building where Modest! Management has their
offices. He wonders briefly if that is what the meeting is about a new PR strategy to get the band
back to its former glory, perhaps. Hed like to see how theyd play that one.
In all honesty Louis is none too fond of Modest! nor of HJPR nor the publicity schemes in
general. Hed been a part of one for the better part of two and a half years, and it had been awful.
Hed dated Eleanor casually for about four months, when theyd both agreed that they were much
better suited as friends than as lovers. Like any respectable pop star, hed informed their PR team
about their split so that they could figure out how to deal with it, and that was when the charade
that would be his life for the next two and a half years began. Hed been called into a meeting not
unlike like this one, and had met a confused Eleanor in the car park, who told him that she had
been sent for as well. When they had entered the conference room (number one that time) the head
of their publicity team had informed him that they would like for him to continue dating Eleanor.
A split now would only be like adding fuel to the fire that was the Larry Stylinson rumours,
because as long as there had been a One Direction, there had been rumours that Louis was gay
and in a relationship with Harry. And even though it wasnt and isnt true (the relationship with
Harry at any rate, the gay thing might have more truth to it) that didnt seem to make much of a
difference to their management.
They had wanted to sell One Direction, and having too much speculation about Louis and Harrys
sexuality would apparently not be beneficial. Straight boys would sell records, gay boys would
not. At least thats what theyd thought then.
Looking back on it now, Louis cant for the life of him figure out how they got Eleanor and him
to agree to the scheme, but they had, and before they knew it they had agreed to continue to date
publicly. It was fine in the beginning. El was his friend, and if they had to go shopping a few
times, hold hands and exchange a few chaste kisses that was fine with him. He wasnt really
looking to date anyone else, so it wasnt like it put a damper on his social life. They were either
touring or promoting or working hard on their next album, so even if hed wanted to, they were in
no position for him to start new relationships.
So really, the pseudo-dating had been fine in the beginning, what hadnt been as fine was when he
was told that he and Harry would have to limit their public and stage interactions to a bare
minimum. Appear to the outside world as though they werent even friends anymore. Apparently
the so-called Larry-shippers merely regarded Eleanor as a beard, and continued to think that Harry
and Louis were in an actual relationship. Louis had to admire their dedication even if it wasnt
actually true.
Sure his and Harrys friendship was and still is rather special certainly not like the ones he shares
with the other boys, or anyone else in his life really, but they had never been romantically
involved. They were best mates, closer than Louis had ever been to anyone else, but they were
never a couple.
At any rate they were forced to go from hanging all over each other to barely interacting when in
front of other people. They were constantly seated as far away from each other as possible during
interviews, their team sometimes even going as far as to splitting the band into two different
groups for separate ones, but of course never with Louis and Harry in the same group.
It had put a definite strain on their relationship in the beginning, and Harry had found it
particularly difficult to come to terms with. An idealist and optimist like no other, bless that boy,
he hadnt been able to quite see how their public interactions could harm the band after all, as
Harry often argued, there was a certain percentage the fandom who thought they were, and
wanted them to be, together. Also Harry was quite comfortable with his sexuality, and had long
been pressuring management to let him come out publicly. Louis secretly thinks that if there was
one person on planet earth who could come out as gay, and not experience any backlash from the
fact, it will be Harry Styles. Even now though, six years since theyd formed the band Harry has
still not been allowed to confirm his sexuality once and for all (that being another fine clause in
their hiatus compromise with their management). Neither had Louis for that matter, but unlike
Harry, Louis wasnt quite sure he even wanted to, at least not yet. Possibly not for another
hundred years.
Louis crosses the parking lot (luckily not running into Eleanor this time), and upon entering the
Modest! building, with the last time hed been summoned like this in mind yeah, you could
colour him apprehensive, all right.
He visibly shakes his head, as if trying to rid himself of such thoughts, and smiles and nods in
greeting at a couple of businessmen who are waiting for the lift. As it arrives, Louis enters and
pushes the button for the 8
th
floor, before pulling his phone out of his pocket and checking the
time. 8:47 is showing on the screen of his iPhone, and Louis allows himself a short moment to
internally celebrate the fact that he, for once in his life, apparently isnt late. It shouldnt be such a
big feat, but it really, really is. Louis is one of those people who are notoriously late, unless he has
someone else managing his time for him, and even then, more often than not, hell still not make it
on time.
This time though, hes even a bit early, and, Louis figures, if there ever was a time to be punctual
it would be now. The meeting had been requested by one of the heads of Modest! Management
after all, and though he is none too fond of the man, he doesnt think being late would improve
their relationship in any way.
He gets off as the lift dings, and strolls past the reception desk without announcing who he is or
why he is there. He might have been on hiatus for two years, but he is still Louis Tomlinson, and
if the receptionist cant recognize him, well, he feels very sorry for her then; living under a rock
with no interaction with the outside world for at least four and a half years, as she must have been,
cant have been very fun.
Hes had his fair share of interaction with Modest! over the last six months, so he finds his way to
conference room two easily, but he is unable to shake off the thought that this meeting is different.
The way they have gone about it secret spy organisation, Louis thinks again is decidedly
different than the other times, where it had simply been scheduled into their weekly itineraries they
received with times announcing recording time, interviews and so on.
As he reaches for the door handle, he decides not to ponder too much over it, he will know what
they want in a moment anyway, so no use fretting about it now.
Upon entering the room the first thing he sees is the back of someone else.
Morning, Haz, Louis says cheerfully, as he steps further into the room, letting the door fall shut
behind him. Its kind of a relief that this isnt a one-on-one meeting that the other lads will be
here too.
Harry startles slightly at his greeting, having clearly not heard the door opening. Christ, Lou, he
says, trying to sound exasperated, but managing to do so quite miserably due to the large grin that
had spread over his face when he saw Louis. At twenty-two Harry has only gotten more gorgeous
(Shut up. Louis is so allowed to appreciate beauty when it is presented so nicely to him). He is still
as hipster as ever, with his quiffed up curls, white t-shirt that shows just the perfect amount of his
collarbones and tattoos to be intriguing, while still leaving some to the imagination. Though, if
there is a self-respecting straight female or gay male (ahem, anyone really) who has yet to google
pictures of Harry Styles shirtless well, Louis feels really, very sorry for them. They clearly dont
know what they are missing. Also, if Louis just might be able to make out Harrys butterfly tattoo
through the white fabric of the t-shirt, well, he certainly isnt complaining.
Harry narrows his eyes, and for a second Louis is afraid that he has caught him blatantly checking
him out, which, you know, would definitely fall under the categories of awkward and situations
best avoided.
Youre early, Harry says instead, and, well, phew.
Louis grins. Dont sound so surprised, love. It has been known to happen.
Once every second decade, perhaps.
Hmm, Louis hums, somewhat in agreement, as he takes the seat next to Harry. Deciding to
change the subject, he voices the question he has been mulling over since finding Harry waiting
already. Where are the others? Its not like Liam not to be here yet.
I dont know, Harry replies. I was starting to wonder if theyd called us all in to separate
meetings or something, but I suppose not now that were both here.
Yeah, Louis finds himself agreeing, Im sure theyll be here any moment.
Harry hums in agreement. So, any exciting news?
Oh, yes, Louis drawls sarcastically. Ive been on all sorts of thrilling adventures since we
parted ways yesterday afternoon after rehearsals.
Harry rolls his eyes at him, but laughs nonetheless. You never know, Lou. You might have had a
hot date, or something. He nudges Louis teasingly with his elbow.
Oh, yes, comes Louis seriously reply. Did have one as a matter of fact. Dreadfully hot one
actually. Involved just me and two guys call-
Hey! Harry interrupts him, holding up his hands to signal for Louis to stop. I do not want to
hear about what you do in the bedroom.
Louis laughs and shakes his head. It had always been ridiculously easy to tease Harry, and Louis
loves it. Me and two men called Ben and Jerry, Harry. He pauses for a moment, before grinning
stupidly. Hey, that rhymed!
Harry shakes his head, but cant hide the smile threatening to break out on his face. I swear to
god, Lou, sometimes its like you really are five years old.
Well, I certainly hope that todays five-year-olds arent making sexual jokes, but maybe thats
just me...
Harry opens his mouth to retort, but before he can get a word out, the doors opens once again.
Ah, Harry, Louis, Richard Griffiths greets them, as he steps into the room followed by Harry
Magee and what appears to be Simon Jones and One Directions entire PR-team and then some.
How lovely that you could join us at such a short notice.
Louis and Harry exchange confused glances, but are soon forced to turn their attention to greeting
all the new people. Shaking hands and murmuring polite greetings, they quickly find themselves
seated opposite the two founders of Modest! Management, with the rest of the people scattered
around them.
Right, Harry Magee says. Lets just get down to business, shall we? He folds his hands on top
of the table and coughs slightly. In any other circumstance, Louis would probably have admired
the mans ability to cut to the chase and skipping all the small talk, but in this instance he is just
plain confused.
It seems that so is Harry. Wait a minute, he says. Arent we waiting for the others?
Griffiths and Magee exchanges a quick glance before Griffiths clears his throat and answers: Its
just the two of you for this meeting.
Louis raises his eyebrow and, okay, that was unexpected. A group meeting, or, hell, even an
individual meeting would have made sense, but a meeting only involving him and Harry, now that
is strange. The similarities to the last time Louis had been called into a meeting without all the
other boys are starting to make him uncomfortable, but he attempts to suppress those thoughts.
Best not make mountains out of molehills, and all that.
As though Harry can hear what Louis is thinking, and can feel Louis mild panic, he reaches over
and places his hand on top of Louis where it is resting on his own thigh and squeezes gently.
Louis cant suppress the gentle smile that takes over his features, and, quite instinctively, turns his
hand around and laced his fingers through Harrys.
It should be weird, but it isnt. Its just them.
Right, Magee clears his throat again, beginning where hed left off when Harry interrupted him.
As youre both aware your fan base isnt quite in the numbers wed like it to be, and even though
it is improving steadily as we near the release of your album, and all the promo youre doing does
seem to help, its not enough.
What we need, a lady from their PR-team speaks, is something big, something that will draw
the attention of the worlds media and bring back those fans whove yet to return to the fandom.
Are you talking about a PR-stunt? Harry questions, his brow scrunched in a mixture of
confusion and contemplation.
Essentially, yes. Weve been going over different scenarios based on which fans have remained
loyal and which havent and also what we think could garner the kind of interest from both fans
and media that is needed. And also what might make you interesting enough for new people to
check out your new music.
Harry, youve been pressuring us to let you come out for nearly as long as we have been
representing you, Griffiths says, leaning back in his chair, his gaze fixed on Harry. Now is that
time.
Harrys frown deepens. What has that got to do with Louis? He questions.
Everything, Simon Jones answers, and Louis really, really doesnt like that man. While
womanizer Harry Styles coming out certainly is newsworthy, it still wouldnt do anything but
alienate fans, and we definitely have no interest in doing so. However, if both of you were to
come out-
But Louis has never expressed any interest in coming out. Harry interrupts. Louis notes how,
even though Harry is talking as slow as ever, there is a hard edge to his voice that is rarely present.
Perhaps not, Griffiths agrees. But Im sure Louis is willing to make a few sacrifices for the
benefit of the band. So yeah, Louis really, really doesnt like him either.
He shouldnt have to! Harry protests hotly. His sexuality isnt something for you to exploit
before he is ready to-
Its fine, Haz, Louis hears himself say, even though it really, really isnt. The mere thought of
going public with his sexuality is enough to make his insides curl into tight balls of white burning
panic. He has come to term with the fact that he holds very little interest in the female sex, but it is
not something he particularly wants to share with the rest of the world. The amount of people who
would be queuing up to say I told you so is reason enough alone to put such an announcement
off indefinitely. He squeezes Harrys hand which is still clasped in his under the table to reassure
him that he is okay, and he feels Harry relax slightly, the death grip hes had on Louis hand
loosening somewhat. I dont see how having two gay people in one band is going to be any less
alienating to fans. Youve preached to us enough times that we need to appear available to the
fans, like we might actually date one of them someday, so having not one member, but two,
announcing that theyre gay seems to be particularly counterproductive.
The PR lady smirks at him. Yes, she agrees. You are quite right, Mr. Tomlinson, under normal
circumstances it certainly would be somewhat akin to professional suicide, but the two of you are
a rather special case. For as long as there has been a One Direction, there have been speculations
about your relationship- She nods between Harry and Louis with her head.
Louis and I are just friends, always have been. Harry interrupts, his posture stiff.
Yes, were aware of that. The fans, however, clearly arent.
Where are you going with this? Louis asks, tired of beating around the bush. If they are about to
suggest what he is starting to be afraid they are, he wants them to say it as quickly as possible, so
that he can respond with a resounding HELL NO!, and drag Harry out of the conference room
like a bat out of hell.
Wed like to give the fans what they want. Magee states, placing his hand on the table in front
of him and leaning forward. We want to give them Larry Stylinson.
The silence that follows is deafening. Louis is quite sure that had he dropped a pin it would have
positively echoed. It seems that everyone is holding their breaths, waiting for Louis and Harrys
reactions.
And yes, it is exactly what Louis had feared they were going to say, as soon as they had begun
talking about Larry Stylinson. Even though Louis had sort of, kind of seen it coming, and his
reaction most certainly still is absolutely fucking not, he finds himself stunned into silence.
Definitely not something that happens to him often.
Definitely not something that happens to him often.
No. Harrys voice seems to startle them all out of their momentary trance. No. He repeats,
hostility lacing his voice. Never in a million years. And right, okay, Louis understands the
reluctance, really, he is very much on the same page as Harry, but does he really need to sound
like the mere prospect of dating Louis is the very epitome of everything bad in life?
Louis is not going through another public farce like his relationship with Eleanor. He is a person.
We are people. We arent pawns in your little game of chess against the rest of the world.
Okay. So, yeah, maybe it is more of the fact that Harry is the best mate ever and a fucking good
person, and less the fact that he likens dating Louis to eating his own weight in snails or something
equally disgusting. Good to know, you know, for future reference.
The PR lady (Laura? Lauren? Something like that) purses her lips and narrows her eyes at Harry.
We are quite aware that you are human beings, Mr. Styles. And I can assure you that we only
have the bands best interest at heart. If you have any wish for One Direction to reach its former
glory, something needs to be done.
Harry actually snorts, and Louis feels that maybe it is time he shakes himself out of his trance and
joins the conversation. Forgive me if Im wrong, he says, voice dripping with sarcasm. But as
far as I know, we make music, and last time I checked we have a pretty damn good album out
soon. Like by far the best album yet, and, you know, this might be a foreign concept, but how
about we let the music speak for itself, yeah?
Griffiths shakes his head. Thats not going to be enough boys. Wed like to let the music speak
for itself, let that be what brings you new fans, but for that to happen, people would actually have
to listen to it.
Louis raises an eyebrow. Thats a bit harsh, innit? Its not like were some long forgotten indie
band. People do still care.
But not enough. Jones states. You are returning from your hiatus, and we need something to
keep you in the media while we promote the new album. We need something controversial to grab
the publics attention. In this case all publicity really is good publicity, and something like this
would point the spotlight straight at you. If we can haul people in through your relationship,
theyll most likely stay for your music. We need to get people talking about you. The more youre
talked about in the tabloids, in newspapers, online, the more people hear about you, the more
people are intrigued by what youve come up with this time.
Louis opens his mouth, not entirely sure what he is going to say, except that it certainly is not
going to be an acceptance of their plan. He never gets to speak, though, before a timid voice
sounds from his left. He has quite forgotten that everyone and their grandma is present at the
meeting, so it is quite a surprise when someone other than Griffiths, Magee, Jones or PR-lady
speaks.
Perhaps a compromise is to be made here, the man says. He is quite young, probably around
Louis own age, and Louis suspects he is most likely fresh out of school. It is quite the job to have
landed. If we were to launch their relationship and the public reacted badly to it, it would be
disastrous for the band. Maybe we should give it a test run, so to speak. Let Louis and Harry
interact more in public. Set up a few photo ops where they are doing things just the two of them
I dont know, going to the supermarket, having dinner alone, and then see how the public reacts to
it. See if it increases the interest in the band or decreases it. If it does help gather the former
hysteria about the band, perhaps Harry and Louis will reconsider, and if it turns out that people are
not on board Team Larry anymore we can very easily say that they are just friends as always.
His monologue is followed by silence, and Louis uses the opportunity to steal a glance at Harry.
To his immense surprise, he finds Harry staring right back at him. Upon making eye contact,
Harry raises an eyebrow in question, and inclines his head towards Louis, seeming to say that that
it is entirely up to him.
And in all honesty, Louis really cant see the harm in what the man had suggested. Spending some
time with Harry, he could do that. He could definitely, definitely do that. In fact, it sounds really,
bloody nice.
He shrugs at Harry with a half-smile, as if saying might as well. Harry squeezes his hand, and
oh, Louis had quite forgotten that their fingers were still intertwined.
Okay, he says, breaking the silence. Were not agreeing to fake a relationship, but well test
the waters, so to speak. And if this this publicity stunt he spits out the words like they were
something disgusting, seems to actually help the bands popularity, perhaps well reevaluate
pretending. The words taste bitter in his mouth, and he cant help but feel like they are selling
out. Theyre good; they are really, fucking good. So, so much better than theyd been two years
ago, with an amazing album theyve actually written all by themselves, and it feels sort of dirty
that they have to resort to fake relationships and manipulating the public in order to be deemed
successful.
The way Griffiths, Magee and Jones are smiling at him tells him that they know they have won. It
is bloody unfair that it seems like no matter what, they are caught in a bubble of pretending, like
they can never just be who they are. They have to keep moulding themselves to what
Management feels will make them the most money. But this will be the last time, Louis vows to
himself, after this, when One Direction are back to its former glory, they are never going to
pretend to be something theyre not again.
Louis sighs. Well, if thats all, Id really like to get going. Im a busy bee. Songs to write, music
to record you know, things members of bands do when not creating humungous publicity stunts
to fool the rest of the world. Out of the corner of his eye, Louis can see Harrys lips curl into a
small, morbidly amused smile.
Right, Magee says. Well contact you regarding your photo ops. I should think perhaps a trip
to the supermarket would be manageable by tomorrow?
The PR-lady nods. I think that would be a nice way to start out. Weve already lifted the photo
ban on shots of Louis and Harry together as of yesterday, so thats already taken care of. Why
dont you go there around four oclock tomorrow afternoon? Which store shall I send the
paparazzi to?
Theres a Tesco near my place. Harry answers, and then turns his attention to Louis. Ill cook
us dinner afterwards at my place, eh? Unless you have plans?
Louis shakes his head. No plans. He confirms, and, really, as far as publicity stunts and fake
relationships goes, this one seems pretty okay so far. A little trip to Tesco and a home-cooked
meal with Harry yeah, Louis can definitely think of worse things.
Harrys answering smile is blinding. Great, he says. Well, now thats settled we really do need
to go. Were meeting with the lads at noon, and Id really like to have some breakfast before
then. Leaving little room for argument, Harry gets up from his chair and Louis follows suit.
As they reach the door, Louis turns around and salutes them with a mocking grin, before saying:
Id say its been a pleasure, but my mum taught me not to lie. He does not spare any time to
gauge their reactions, simply spins on his heels and drags a grinning Harry by the wrist towards
the elevator.
Once inside the elevator an awkward silence stretches between the two of them. It seems that
neither is quite sure how to behave now that it is just the two of them. Louis has been so adamant
that he would never be a part of a publicity stunt like the one he had entered with Eleanor again,
but somehow they have managed to con him into agreeing anyway. Sure, he hasnt agreed to the
relationship-stuff outright, but Louis is fairly certain that that is where theyll all end up regardless.
You can say many things about One Directions management and PR-team especially in regards
to morals and methods, but one thing you cannot ignore, is that they are good at what they do.
They know how to create results, and Louis would bet most of his savings that since Modest! has
predicted it will work, it will.
So Harry finally breaks the silence. That was unexpected, huh?
Louis smiles wryly and shakes his head. Not entirely, no. There were eerily many similarities to
the time I was called here with Eleanor.
Oh, right. For a second Id forgotten that Harry trails off, and gestures absently with his
hands.
What? That Ive been here, done this? I am quite an expert at having a fake relationship. Louis
supplies. He meant for it to come out jokingly, but it sounded more bitter than anything else.
Harrys wince and his soft Lou- tells Louis that he noticed as well.
No, Haz, Louis interrupts him softly, his hand moving up to tug gently at one of Harrys curls
that has gone astray. Christ, I didnt mean it like that. This is nothing like with El.
Harry shakes his head, frowning. Except its really, really the same, Lou, and you were bloody
miserable back then.
Its not the same, Harry, really. And I wasnt miserable, not really. The whole charade sucked,
yeah, but it wouldnt have been so bad if I hadnt been forced to practically cut you out of my life.
That was by far the worst part. You are my best mate, Haz. In all honesty, this is just a glorified
reason for us to spend ridiculous amounts of time together. Itll be so much youll grow quite sick
of me.
Harry shakes his head again, curls bouncing, but this time he is smiling. Not possible, Lou.
Really, really not possible.
Something warm spreads in Louis chest, but he is saved from having to analyse it by, literally, the
bell, as it signals that they are back on the ground floor. Harry tugs him through the doors by his
wrist, and Louis cant help by notice how Harrys huge hand circles around his wrist like it is no
larger than that of a child.
Louis? Louis? Harrys voice pulls him back to reality as he tears his gaze from their hands and
moves his focus to Harrys face.
Sorry, Louis says. Mustve spaced out for a moment there. You said?
I asked, if you wanted to get something to eat with me? Itll be like our very first proper fake-
date, yeah?
Sure. Louis nods. I didnt really have anything but some tea this morning, so food sounds
really good.
Harry grins. Great, I know this really great caff not too far from here, does the best fry-up of your
life.
Lead the way then, young Harold.
Harry bumps his hip against Louis and shakes his head, grinning. Not so young anymore,
Tomlinson.
And, oh, only Harry would consider twenty-two to be not-so-young-anymore, but then again
Harry has been through more in his twenty-two years of living than most go through in a lifetime.
Youll always be young to me. He keeps his tone purposeful light and joking.
Harry nods seriously in reply. We did sing Forever Young.
Laughing out loud, Louis agrees, That we did, Haz. That we did.



Turns out Harry is right, the place really does serve a fantastic fry-up. They had been seated
immediately in the otherwise busy caf, so Louis supposes that there still is some star quality
connected with their names. It is ridiculous how easy it is for them to fall back into their old
dynamics, almost like no time has passed. It isnt that they hadnt spent time together during the
hiatus, all the boys had made conscious efforts to make sure that they talked regularly (like it was
actually even a possibility for them not to) and met up as often as possible, and of course Louis
and Harry had met up just the two of them whenever they could. They had spent plenty of time
together over the last six months as well, writing, recording and fine-tuning their album until it was
to their satisfaction, but it is so very, very long since they had been just the two of them in a public
setting like this. Conversation flowed easily between them though, steering clear of anything
related to the meeting theyd just left and ignoring the people around them.
Their friendship has always been effortless, and Louis doesnt think there is a single person in his
life that he is ever more in sync with than Harry. They steal food off each others plates, laugh at
each others bad jokes and talk about everything from when Zayn and Perrie would have their first
kid (a couple of years to go, they decided, at least until the mere thought of it didnt scare Zayn
shitless) to how many different kind of take-away there would be at Zayns (a lot, they agreed on,
since Niall was bringing the food, and he could never settle on just one thing; usually craving
Chinese spring rolls at the same time as pepperoni pizza and a green curry).
When theyd finished their food, Louis pulls out his wallet and pays for everything before Harry
can even as much as reach for his.
Hey! Harry protests. You didnt have to do that.
Wanted to, Louis says sincerely, before his lips curls into a smirk. Besides havent you heard
that you should always be a gentleman and pay for your dates meal?
Harry huffs. Im paying for dinner tomorrow, then. And the next time we go out.
Next time, my my. Louis teases. You sure are confident, huh? Maybe you wont get another
date.
Ill have you know we already have one scheduled for tomorrow, so there.
I suppose I walked straight into that one. Fair enough. Should we- Louis is interrupted by a soft,
nervous cough. Turning towards where the noise had sounded, Louis is met with two girls in their
late teens.
We dont mean to interrupt anything, one of the girls begins nervously, and, oh, polite, thats
nice. We just, uhm, we really, really like your music-
Massive fans! The other one interrupts enthusiastically.
The first one smiles, apparently put somewhat at ease by her friends passion. Yeah, were so
excited for your new album.
Thank you, Harry grins. Were very happy to be back.
Both girls smile, visibly more relaxed, and thats really a tribute to Harrys people skills, because
he is the very epitome of calm and polite and just plain nice, youd have to be completely inhuman
not to feel at ease around him.
Could we maybe have a picture, and maybe, like, an autograph?
This time its Louis who answers: Absolutely! He smiles at them, and wow, okay, maybe
Harrys rubbing off on him, or maybe Louis has genuinely missed this, because he finds himself
grinning stupidly as the girls each take pictures wedged in between himself and Harry. Its silly,
and he loves it.
And, okay, its not like he hasnt taken his fair share of fan photos during their hiatus particularly
now that the promo for the new album is picking up, but its been fucking years since he could do
so with Harry, and somehow that just makes it so, so infinitely better.
They write out autographs to the girls, Louis even taking his time to write a little personal greeting,
and shit morning aside this is turning out to be a really great day. As Harry hands over the
notebooks he has scribbled his name in to the girls, Louis grins at them and asks: Anything else?
in his very best shopkeeper-voice. He is expecting them to laugh a bit, maybe (probably) blush
and be on their way, but the shy one hesitates.
Could I, ehm, could I maybe get a photo just the two of you?
Louis glances at Harry and finds him grinning down at him. Of course! Harry says, and sneaks
his arm around Louis waist and pulls him closer. Louis leans into Harry per instinct, and just as
the girl readies her iPhone, Louis is struck by a sudden devilish inspiration. He stands on the tip of
his toes (damn Harry and that growth spurt), tugs Harrys arm to tilt Harry towards him, and just
as he hears the camera shutter go off, he presses his lips against Harrys cheek.
Pulling back he turns to the girls and grins. How was that, babe? Okay?
And yeah, based on the way shes blushing and nodding and grinning, Louis thinks that its quite
all right. He gives them a parting wave, and pulls Harry along with him in the opposite direction
of the girls. It takes him a few moments to register that Harry is being uncharacteristically quiet,
and shit, Louis hadnt even considered that maybe wouldnt be okay with Louis sudden show of
PDA.
Shit, Haz, I didnt- he starts to apologize.
No, no, Lou. Its okay, its perfect. You just caught me off guard, is all. Harry interrupts and
okay, is Louis imagining this, or is Harrys voice deeper, more hoarse?
He shakes his head, imagining things is the first sign of insanity, isnt that what they say? Or
maybe thats talking to yourself?
Well, great. Fantastic. Cant have my fake boyfriend think my lips are disgusting, now can we?
Harry shakes his head, fondly exasperated. Only you, Lou. He says. Only you.
Hey, we both know you love me, babe.
I do though, you know. Harry says, and there is no trace of humour in his voice anymore. I do
love you.
Louis smiles, because, yeah, he really, really loves this boy man in front of him too. He tells
Harry as much, and Harrys shoulders visibly ease, as if he was questioning how much Louis
cared. Stupid boy if hes ever thought that Louis has done anything but loved him.
Best mate ever. Louis adds, and bumps his shoulder against Harrys. For a second something
funny crosses Harrys face, but it is gone as quickly as it came, and maybe Louis just imagined it.
Yeah, Harry agrees. Best mates.



Louis pulls up in front of Zayns house half an hour later, Harry hot on his tail in his own car. As
he climbs out of the car, Louis locks it and leans against it, waiting for Harry as he parks his car
and makes his way towards Louis. They fall into step as they walk up the path to Zayn and
Perries front door in companionable silence. Its one of Louis favourite things, the way he can
just be with Harry. There is no need to fill the silence with inane chatter or awkward small talk or
even deep conversations. They are both perfectly content to just walk in silence, appreciating the
others company.
When they reach the door, Louis moves his hand to the doorknob, ready to push open the door
and enter they have long since abolished the need to ring a doorbell and wait to enter when they
know the others are coming, but Harry reaches out and stops him. The feel of Harrys big hand
encasing Louis own with its warmth send unexpected shivers through Louis body, and he
automatically looks up at Harry, an inquisitive look dominating his face.
Louis raises his eyebrow in question, and Harry bites his lip, appearing nervous. Do we tell
them? He questions eventually. Louis frowns, and Harry immediately backtracks, seeming to
realize how that sounded. I mean- I mean, of course we tell them, but, like, now? Do we do it
now? Or later? Or He trails off, looking at Louis with big eyes and looking so much like Harry
Styles, sixteen, that Louis feels his chest ache a bit.
Louis turns the hand Harry is covering gently and intertwines their fingers, rubbing his thumb in
soothing motions over the back of Harrys hand. Perhaps, Louis starts slowly, because,
honestly, he hasnt really had time to think all of this through, can barely wrap his own head
around it, hasnt even considered how the other boys might feel about it. Perhaps we should wait
until we are done with the meeting today? I mean, like, definitely tell them today, but maybe get
the business bit over with first?
Harry nods and bites his lip. Yes, he says. That sounds like a good idea. Louis smiles at him,
squeezes Harrys hand before dropping it and together they enter Zayns house.
Oooooooiiiii! Louis shouts loudly, making their entrance known as they move through the hall
towards the living room.
In here! He hears Liam shout from the kitchen, and they alter their route slightly to take them
there instead.
Hello boys. Louis says, grin wide, when he and Harry enter the kitchen. The other three boys
are already there, trying to make sense of all the takeaway Niall has brought for their lunch
(enough to feed a small army).
Hungry? Niall asks, forgoing any sort of formal greeting while Zayn and Liam mumble their
hellos, grins matching Louis. Liam rolls his eyes fondly at Niall.
Not particularly, Louis answers honestly. Just had the best fry-up Ive had since living with
Haz.
Niall huffs, but then shrugs. More for me, then, I spose. He grins then. Did you two arrive
together? Better be careful you dont set off those Larry rumours again.
Louis can see Harry shifting uncomfortably out of the corner of his eyes. Separate cars, mate.
Louis answers, shrugging. Hes always the one answering questions regarding his and Harrys
relationship, and its not exactly that Louis minds, but sometimes he wonders what it is that makes
Harry just so uncomfortable about it.
Niall grins and shrugs, picking up as much of the food as he can carry and brings it into the dining
room. Liam and Zayn do the same, and between the three of them theyve managed to carry it all,
leaving Harry and Louis to follow them empty handed. Louis takes a step towards the door, but is
stopped when he feels Harry take a hold of his elbow. He turns half-way around, facing Harry
and lifts an eyebrow in question at the younger man again.
Yeah? Louis asks, trying to make sense of the funny expression on Harrys face. He looks like a
mixture between slightly embarrassed, very pleased and just plain happy.
You like my fry-up better? Harry asks, his grin widening, making his dimples appear (one of
Louis favourite, favourite things about Harry. Yes, definitely).
Louis smiles slightly. Ive yet to have a fry-up that could beat yours, Haz. He says, his voice
uncharacteristically soft, and he feels slightly ridiculous for being so mushy over something like
breakfast. It is the truth though. Very, very much the truth. The way Harrys smile broadens even
more (quite frankly to ridiculous levels it looks like it ought to be painful, almost) makes it all
worth it, though. Sometimes Louis forgets that Harry is still very much the same boy he was when
he was 16, and that a sincere compliment from Louis somehow still seems to make Harry just so,
so happy. Louis doesnt quite understand it, but he would be lying if he said he didnt enjoy how
he could make Harry shine like the sun, just by being honest. Harry is showered in compliments
daily, but for some reason it has always meant more to him when they came from Louis.
Quite frankly, he continues, its a proper tragedy that its been years years, Harold since I
last had it.
He feels Harry move closer to him, and suddenly he is pressed into Louis from behind. Louis goes
still, completely still. Frozen in a unique mixture of shock and anticipation. He feels Harrys
enormous hands where they come to rest on each side of his waist. He can feel every inch of
Harrys toned body, as Harry presses himself against Louis, can feel Harrys soft curls graze his
cheek as Harry leans his head down until his mouth is level with Louis ear, his lips soft against it,
his breath hot.
Well, since were apparently going to be dating, Harrys says slowly, quietly, his voice a deep
rumble. I suppose therell be plenty of sleep-overs where I can cook you breakfast.
Harry pulls back, and, honest, Louis nearly whimpers (thank God he doesnt, because, lord, yeah,
that would have been embarrassing). Harry moves past him, towards the entrance to the dining
room, but stops and looks back at Louis, throwing a cheeky grin his way. For appearances, of
course. He adds, and before Louis has time to even comprehend Harrys words, he is alone in the
kitchen, standing frozen like an idiot.
And, okay, what the hell was that?!

The thing is, Louis thinks as hes seated around Zayn and Perries dinner table, this band meeting
business is really pretty, fucking pointless. It made sense when they were putting together the
album, planning the tour, getting proper ready for their comeback; because they were determined
that this time around the ball was going to be in their court. They made a deal with each other that
at least once a month (theyd been going once a week when the album was really shaping up)
theyd sit down just the five of them no managers, no Paul, only them and theyd talk it all
through without any outside influences. Which songs did they really want on the record? How
strongly did they feel about playing a show in Finland, were they willing to fight the tour planners
on it? It was probably one of the best decisions theyd made since coming back to work. Now
they walked into all their other meetings as a united front, having already decided what they
wanted, and they didnt bend nor bow until they had it exactly how they wanted it (Louis thinks
that had management not cornered Harry and him alone, theyd never have ended up in this
charade).
The result was an album and a tour that they could stand behind, proudly, one hundred percent.
Theyre done with the album, though, the tour is mostly planned, all their promo is decided upon
and there really isnt a reason for them to have this meeting right now. It was more out of habit
than anything else that they scheduled it.
Its nice, though, just sitting around the table talking and laughing with his four best mates. Zayn
and Harry are involved in an intense debate over some book Louis has never even heard the name
of before, and hes discussing the new FIFA with Liam while Niall is oblivious to all of them,
tapping away at his phone.
Louis is distracted from his conversation with Liam when he hears Niall clear his throat. Turning
his attention to Niall, the first thing Louis notices is how his eyes seem to flicker between Louis
and Harry, a strange expression on his face.
What? Harry asks, having also turned his attention from Zayn to Niall. Harry has obviously also
noticed the strange way Niall is acting, and Louis sees Harry glaze nervously at him out of the
corner of his eyes.
Niall pushes his iPhone to the centre of the table. There are three different Larry-related hashtags
trending on twitter. Worldwide. His voice sounds kind of funny, and for a second Louis is just in
shock, because, okay, wow, three worldwide is quite a lot. Like, a lot, a lot. If Louis memory
serves, its been a long time since anything Larry-related has really trended.
Before Louis can do it, Liam has scooped up Nialls phone and hes quickly frowning at the
screen. #LarryStylinson, he reads. #LarryIsReal, #LarryTogetherNeverSurrendered. The lines
in Liams forehead deepen as he frowns harder. He pats the touchscreen a few times, before
raising his eyebrow at what he sees on the screen. The silence at the table is deafening, but Louis
doesnt quite know what hes supposed to say to break it.
Liam finally looks up from the screen, his eyes finding Louis. The confusion in Liams face is
obvious, but it is mixed with a good amount of hurt, and Louis definitely, definitely doesnt
understand why Liam is hurt. Liam places the phone silently in the middle of the table, and they
all subconsciously leans closer to get a look on whats on the screen. Louis heart nearly stops
when he sees a picture of himself kissing Harrys cheek lovingly, staring back at him.
The picture on the phone is small, but, fuck, even in the tiny format, Louis has to admit they look
good together. They look comfortable and happy and, whats most scary, they look almost like a
proper couple.
Oh, he hears Harry from besides him. Oh, all right, yeah. More like fuck, really, in Louis
opinion, but whatever.
Liam snatches the phone of the table and scrolls a bit, his forehead creasing as he reads what is on
the screen. For a moment there is total silence, and even Louis, who would usually just say
something stupid, anything really, when silence like this occurs, finds himself absolutely
speechless.
A Very Larry Christmas, or, well, August but whatever. Louis is momentarily confused, until
he realizes that Liam is reading what is on the phone out loud. We here at Sugarscape definitely
feel like Christmas has arrived early this year. Our very favourites Harry Styles and Louis
Tomlinson of the greatly missed (and highly anticipated) One Direction were spotted together by
fans earlier today. Why has that got our knickers in a twist, you ask? Well, Hazza and Loubear
havent actually been spotted just the two of them privately for years, so we gotta ask ourselves:
are Larry Stylinson back together? Were they ever apart? Have they ever been together? We sure
would like to know. One thing is for sure, they do look mighty cosy together in the pictures from
today, which show them eating an intimate brunch together and also wait for it, getting all kissy
and cute with each other. Were definitely hoping it will be a recurring event. What do you think?
Comment below the video.
The silence that follows Liams reading is even worse than the previous. Louis doesnt even know
where to look, because what the hell? What the actual fucking hell? He can barely wrap his mind
around it, much less even attempt to understand how Liam, Zayn and Niall must be feeling.
Christ, this was not how they were supposed to learn about this.
Louis feels a hand come to rest on his thigh gently, and he nearly starts, before recognizing the
touch as Harrys.
I think you owe us an explanation. Zayn breaks the silence, his voice quiet and hurt. Louis eyes
automatically fly to Zayns and the hurt Louis could hear in his voice is mirrored in Zayns eyes. It
makes Louis heart ache.
We were going to tell you after todays meeting, Louis start. We-
Hes interrupted by a sort of strangled sound coming from Liam. But- but surely this must have
been going on for a while Why havent you told us? Did you think we wouldnt be okay with
it? What did we do that-
No. Harry interrupts fiercely. No. No. No. Youve got it all wrong. Lou and I arent together.
Out of the corner of his eyes, Louis can see Harry shaking his head fiercely, his curls bouncing
with the movement.
What? Niall questions and gestures towards the phone. But what about-
Thats what we need to tell you. Louis interrupts, and boy are they doing a lot of that today.
We were called into a meeting with management and PR today.
Just the two of you? Liam questions, forehead knitting together in confusion.
Yeah, Harry confirms. Just me and Lou. We thought it was really strange too, until they started
talking and suddenly it made perfect sense why it was only us Harry trails off, and Louis
places his hand on top of the one Harry still has resting on Louis thigh. He squeezes it gently,
letting Harry know that he will take it from here.
They want us to fake a relationship. He says, trying to keep his tone neutral. The other three
boys reactions are almost comical their faces slacken, their mouths falling open in what looks
like a poor attempt to imitate a goldfish. Like, you know, pretend to date for publicity. To regain
popularity and fans. Supposedly it would all of a sudden be a good thing to be gay, especially if
we were so together.
You said no, right? Zayn asks, clearly concerned.
Louis and Harry exchange glances, neither of them saying anything for a moment. Their hesitation
is not lost on the other boys.
Wait you said yes? What? Niall asks, his brow furrowing in clear confusion.
We didnt exactly Harry pauses, speaking, if possible, even slower than usual. Its like he is
tasting the words, trying them out in his head to find the right combination. Say yes. Like well,
we said wed like you know, try it out, I suppose.
Zayn raises one of his perfectly sculptured eyebrows. Try it out? Try out dating?
Louis shakes his head. No, he can hear the frustration in his own voice, but it is so damn
maddening that they cant seem to explain it all properly to the boys. In all honesty, the whole
situation is just so, so fucked up. No, no. Of course Harry and I arent going to jump into a
relationship because PR told us to. If we were ever going to be together it would have happened
already Im sure. Harrys hand twitches slightly under Louis, and he glazes at the young boy,
only to find that Harry is looking resolutely into his own lap, clearly not asking for Louis
attention. Louis shrugs it off and continues: But wed all like for this album to sell, to get back on
top, and, well, if Harry and I can help that along by spending some time together, then thats not
really that big a sacrifice, is it? So we didnt exactly agree to it, but we did agree to appearing in
public together a few times and seeing how people would react to see if it really would help.
So today was for PR? Liam asks.
No. Louis is momentarily startled by the fierceness in Harrys answer, but quickly recovers and
squeezes the younger boys hand in what is meant to be a reassuring way.
No, Louis agrees. We dont actually have our first planned photo-op until tomorrow. Today
was just because Haz is my best friend, and we havent been able to do anything together in
public just the two of us for fucking years. So, yeah, it felt bloody good to be able to go have
breakfast together.
Zayn breathes out a breath it seems hes been holding in for a long time. Okay, he says softly,
and then with more conviction. Okay. Just, we love you, you know? Wed never ask you to do
this, wed never want you to do this if it isnt something you really want. Like-
We get it, Zayn, Harry interrupts. And were not doing this is it doesnt feel right, were not
doing this if its going to be like with Lou and Eleanor. But, like, right now, it doesnt seem that
bad to be honest. I get to hang out with one of my favourite people in the entire world on a regular
basis. Were going food shopping and having dinner at my place tomorrow, that doesnt exactly
feel like a death sentence to me. Sure, the paps are going to be annoying, but were pretty used to
them by now.
Okay, Niall nods finally. If thats your decision, well support you. Any way we can help, just
let us know. Zayn and Liam both murmur their agreement.
And thats sort of it. Louis feels like its almost a tribute to their friendship that the lads know
when to let it go. Either way the decision is made, and it means more than Louis thought it would
to have the boys acceptance.
They carefully avoid the subject for the next hour, just chatting about this and that, and just
enjoying each others company. Its three oclock when Niall decides that its time to go home,
Liam following him 20 minutes later. At near four, Perrie returns home, greeting both Harry and
Louis warmly, before planting a kiss on Zayns lips, innocent and so, so intimate all at once. Harry
and Louis take it as their cue to leave.
They walk to their cars in silence, unconsciously stopping between the two, and Louis turns to
face Harry, offering him a crooked smile. He sees the hesitation on Harrys face for a second,
barely able to wonder what it means, before the bigger boy steps towards him, timidly wrapping
his arms around Louis.
Its an instinct reaction for Louis to circle his arms around Harry and pull him closer, his chin
resting on Harrys shoulder. Harry tightens his hold on Louis when he feels him respond to the
embrace, and Louis feels Harry turn his head slightly, feels the soft pressure of Harrys lips against
his hair. He doesnt think, really, just reacts, and turns his own head slightly, pressing his lips
against Harrys bare skin, where his neck meets his shoulders. Its such an intimate gesture, but its
Harry, and Louis doesnt really have time to contemplate his own actions.
Thank you. Harry breathes into his hair. I know its such a shit situation, particularly for you.
You never asked for any of this, not the coming out, not the fake relationship, and its so awfully
selfish of me to allow you to do this, but he pauses for a moment, and Louis rubs his back
gently, allowing Harry to get this off his chest. But I cant help but be so happy, and so grateful,
that I get to spend all this time with you. And Im so sick of hiding who I am, so just.. He pauses
again, and pulls Louis even closer to him, impossibly close. All Louis does is clutch Harry just as
tight in response.
They stand there, clutching each other, for a few seconds, before Harry pulls back slightly. He
moves his hands from around Louis and cups his face, cradles it between his large hands. He leans
forward, resting his forehead against Louis, and Louis fingers are rubbing soft circles on Harrys
hips like they have an actual life of their own.
Ive missed you. Harry says quietly, his earnest eyes boring into Louis. I know that weve
been spending time together, I know, but Ive missed you so much all the same. Ive missed being
able to touch you without it being a national disaster in interviews, Ive missed not having to
constantly be aware of where you are so I could avoid you in public, Ive missed being able to act
exactly how I want to with you on stage, without having to worry about what management is
going to say. Louis clutches Harrys hips a little tighter, so fucking endeared by the boy in front
of him, laying out his feelings.
Ive missed you too, Harry. He murmurs quietly. Its like they are in a secret bubble of their
own, and any loud noise might disrupt this time parallel theyve managed to create for themselves.
He moves one hand from Harrys hip to his cheek, lightly stroking it. And I love you, he adds,
because he feels like its something Harry needs to hear, and because its the truth. I love you so
much, you know that, right?
Harry nods, letting his hands slide from Louis cheeks, down his neck until they rest against his
chest. Harry drops his forehead to Louis shoulder, and Louis moves his hand to Harrys curls,
lightly trading his finger through them. I know, Harry whispers. And I love you too. So
much.
Theyre both quiet for a few moments, stuck in a position Louis cant help but think must be
extraordinarily uncomfortable for Harry due to their height difference.
Finally they pull apart, Harry giving Louis a small, unsure smile, and Louis smiling back in the
most reassuringly way he possibly can think of.
Better part ways, Louis smiles, reaching out to squeeze Harrys hand.
Yeah, Harry agrees. Ill see you tomorrow, yeah?
Wouldnt miss it for the world, I promise.

The rest of Louis day passes relatively uneventfully. He picks up some takeaway on his way
home to his house, and settles into his couch, half-watching a rerun of Keeping up with the
Kardashians while eating his early dinner. Afterwards, when hes deposited the empty boxes in
his bin and grown tired of watching Kim fighting with her mom, he pulls out his phone intent on
checking twitter. The first thing he sees is the notification that Harry has tweeted something an
hour ago, and he curiously pulls up Harrys profile. He sees two tweets made within a couple of
minutes of each other, and he cant help but smile, because, really, Harry is such a loveable dork.
(x)
(x)
Louis considers replying to the tweets, but ultimately decides against it. Theres nothing that
directly ties him to what Harrys written, so he figures hell let people speculate.
With only slight hesitation he goes to look at his mentions. Like always its a bit of mixed bunch
of tweets, varying from asking him to follow them, have sex with them, quite a bit just thanking
him for being who he is and expressing their excitement over the upcoming album, a fair few
calling him a faggot, even more asking about Harry. He sees one of the more harmless inquiries,
and figures he might as well, so he taps on the reply button. He types in an answer he knows is
both too sappy and too honest all at once, but figures if theyre going to do this, they may as well
go all out. Its been a long time since hes had to deliver this kind of fanservice, but he likes it so
much better than what he had to go through when with Eleanor. At least this time hes honest in
his lies.
(x)
(x)
He smiles, satisfied as he sees the number of retweets and favourites rising. He flickers through his
mentions again for a few minutes, seeing how its becoming more and more Larry-centred, and for
a moment he considers pulling up Tumblr or something like it to see how people are reacting
there. There seems to be an alarming number of people still very interested and invested in their
relationship. Louis is surprised even though hes not.
Hes startled out of his thoughts when his phone buzzes with another notification. Its another
tweet from Harry, this one directed at him. He pulls it up, reads it quickly, and once again cant
contain the smile that breaks out, huge and genuine. He feels like a bit of an idiot, sitting alone in
his house, smiling like a loon, eyes surely crinkling like hes been told is a tell-tale sign that his
smile is sincere, while staring at his phone. If his heart beats just a little bit faster than normal, well,
nobody is ever going to know.
(x)

Chapter End Notes
Please leave your thoughts? It would mean so, so much if you would take the time to
comment!
I'm at tumblr at infinitelymint
- come say hi, please!! :)
See you next Friday! xxxx
II
Chapter Notes
Right, so... Chapter two, voila.
As always, massive, massive thank you to Jess and Loo for looking it through - this
would all be a pile of errors without them! Thank you both so much!
And to Nina for actually making me pick this up again, without you it would still be
abandoned in my 'project'-folder.
Also a massive, MASSIVE thank you to all of you who read the beginning of the
story, and especially to those of you who took the time to leave a comment. It means
so, so much. I hope you like this too!
Oh, and there is a manip in here, I simply could not find the original poster of, so if
you know who it is, please give me a shout. I'd like to give credit where credit is due!
xxxx
Hey, skal vi to ikke bare folde det her ud?
St med bne arme - st med smil - st for skud
Og ikke holde det nede og ikke pakke det ind
Ikke skrme det mod regn eller sne eller vind
(Marie Key Uden Forsvar)
CHAPTER II:
It's twelve oclock the next day, when Louis finds himself knocking on Harrys door. They
havent actually chosen a time to meet, but Louis was bored at home, and figured that he might as
well head over to Harrys (that calling Harry and letting him know he was coming might have
been a good idea only occurred to him now that he is standing on Harrys threshold). He doesnt
have to wait long before he hears the tell-tale click signalling that Harry is unlocking the door on
the other side and mere seconds later it opens, revealing a slightly disgruntled looking Harry. His
curls are tucked under a black beanie, and he is wearing a pair of trackies and a long-sleeved, grey
oversized shirt, which hangs loosely on his fit frame, hiding Harrys toned torso which, in all
honesty, is probably in Louis best interest.
Louis? Harrys surprised exclamation pulls Louis back to reality, and he refocuses his eyes on
Harrys face. For a second Louis is worried that Harry will be annoyed that hes come
unannounced, but that thought is quickly binned as he sees the pleased smile Harrys lips are
curling into, dimples deepening as it widens.
Youre here early.
Louis shrugs. Sorry, mate, I was bored and had nothing to do, figured I might as well head over.
Probably should have called though, eh?
Harry shakes his head quickly. No, no, Lou. You can come anytime you want, you never have
to call, you know that. Come on in.
Louis smiles at Harrys words as the younger man opens the door wider and steps aside, allowing
Louis entrance to his house.
Management called this morning, Harry says as they make their way to his living room. Said
theyd tried you, but couldnt reach you. I tried calling as well, but it went straight to voicemail. I
think they thought you were ignoring them again.
Hmm, Louis says, as he stuffs his hands in his pocket, pulling out his phone. I havent heard
anything, he continues as he pushes the homebutton on his iPhone, waiting for it to light up.
Ah, he says as the black screen continues to glare at him, mustve run out of battery this
morning, I didnt even notice. What did they want?
Just to confirm the details about today. Were supposed to enter Tescos at four oclock, and then
spend like 45 minutes shopping and then the pap will follow us some of the way home.
Right, Louis nods, well that gives us plenty of time, doesnt it? What to do, young Harold?
Harry shrugs. I dont know. You hungry? I was just about to make a sandwich, and then maybe
we could play FIFA or something.
Louis grins in response. Sounds like a perfect day, babe. Im starving, and you do make a mean
turkey sandwich.
No pickles but extra mustard, right? Harry questions over his shoulders, as they change course
and walk into Harrys spacious kitchen.
You know me so well. Louis says, his voice carrying a teasing edge that he is sure is making
Harry roll his eyes, even though he cant see it, as Harrys back is to him.
Better than anyone, Harry banters back, and, really, if Louis is completely honest, that's
probably very, very true.
Dont think you should say that to my mother, mate.
Harry laughs, and looks over his shoulder at Louis, throwing him a cheeky wink. Jay and I have
an understanding.
Is that so? Louis questions, smiling.
Mhm-hmm Harry confirms, turning his attention back to his fridge, getting out the ingredients
for their sandwiches.
So, Louis jumps onto Harrys kitchen island, seating himself next to where Harry has started to
prepare their meal, ready for our supermarket-rendezvous?
Spreading mayo on the bread, Harry looks up, smiling as he meets Louis eyes. Yes, he
confirms, I mean, its gonna be kinda strange, yeah? Like, with the pap and stuff, but, yeah, I
mean, its you Lou, Im always up for spending time with you.
Eyes crinkling, Louis smiles back at him and snatches a piece of the cucumber Harry has just cut.
Youre such a sap, he says, voice fonder than hed like, but, really, who could blame him?
Harry positively radiates sincerity, and when he goes around saying shit like that... yeah, its pretty
hard for Louis not to be endeared. Also, Harry is his absolute best friend; hes allowed to be a bit
mushy.
Harry smiles again which seems to be a constant occurrence when they're together, and,
honestly, Louis is definitely not complaining and swats at Louis hand when he makes to grab
another slice of cucumber.
Hey! he says, as Louis manages to grab one anyway, but then he settles for shaking his head
fondly when all Louis does is grin back at him, cucumber wedged between his teeth. Im not
denying it, though, Harry says then, momentarily confusing Louis until he clarifies, that Im a
sap, I mean. Like, mate, my favourite movie is Love Actually, and I cry every time I watch Titanic.
Which is often. So, like, Im a sap and Im proud of it.
Proud sap? Louis questions, grinning. Youre practically a walking gay stereotype, babe.
Proud of that, too, is what Harry returns, and, yeah, Louis knows that. Harrys always been
proud and unabashed about what and who he is. Its probably one of the qualities that Louis has
always admired the most about him. Its the exact opposite of Louis, who ever since being thrown
into the spotlight, has done everything in his power to weed out everything that screamed gay
about him. He had been all for throwing around gay innuendo during interviews because that was
safe, that was a joke Actually dealing with his sexuality on the other hand, yeah, not so safe.
He had changed himself and his mannerisms so drastically that for a period of time, he could
barely even recognize himself.
It was funny how it had worked: as Louis had made a conscious effort to become less flamboyant,
Harry had started acting more and more visibly camp. The irony of it is not lost on Louis.
Hey, Harry says, placing a hand on Louis thigh, having apparently abandoned their sandwiches.
Im sorry, Lou, I didnt mean to-
Oh, Louis cuts him off, realizing how Harry must have interpreted his silence, no, sorry, Haz.
Got caught up in my thoughts. He jumps off the counter, eyeing the finished sandwiches. Those
done? He asks, nodding his head at the food. Without waiting for Harrys reply he continues,
Great. Brilliant. I think I was promised FIFA? Lets go, H.
Harry seems frozen for a moment, looking at Louis with his brows furrowed, clearly debating
whether or not he should let Louis off the hook, or whether he should press him to talk about it.
He should let it go, Louis thinks. Yes, definitely let it go. Louis is not going there, not talking
about it. Nope, no way, forget about it. Not going to happen, no.
Go, go. Times a-ticking, babe. We gotta get going if youre going to have any chance of scoring
a goal before we have to go on our inspiring photoshoot. Chop chop. He makes his way towards
the living room, leaving Harry behind to carry their food.
Oi! He hears Harry from behind him in the kitchen, What do you mean if Im going to have a
chance of scoring a goal, Tomlinson? He asks as he appears in the living room, plopping down
next to Louis on the sofa, placing both the food and two cans of beer on the small table in front of
them (massive hands, Harry has. Its mad, really. Unnatural. Louis has half a mind that Harrys
some sort of mutant alien hybrid, DNA mixed with some race thats got humongous hands. Its a
solid theory, yeah?). Im ace at this game, you liar.
Unlike the real deal, though. Louis grins, mentally sighing in relief that he got Harry to let it go.
Come on then, Styles. Show me what youve got.


The next few hours pass in a blur of FIFA, food and excellent company. Louis ends up beating
Harry three games to one, and Harry throws the controller to the floor groaning after the fourth
game. Louis definitely doesnt intend to let it go anytime soon.
No more, Lou, Harry moans, closing his eyes and leaning his head back against the backrest of
the sofa. What time is it anyway, should I get ready yet?
Fishing his phone from his pocket, Louis is reminded that it has run out of battery, and instead he
reaches across the sofa and pulls Harrys phone out of his pocket. Harry jumps comically at the
initial contact, but settles back into the sofa once hes realised Louis motives.
Louis checks the screen of Harrys phone. Just about three, he says, as an idea pops into his
mind. Smiling mischievously, he places the phone on the coffee table in front of the sofa, and
hurries to straddle Harrys lap before the younger boy can get up.
Shocked at Louis sudden movement, and the fact that hes suddenly sitting in his lap, Harrys
eyes spring open, and he opens his mouth, question surely on the tip of his tongue.
Better give them something to talk about, eh? Louis grin is wicked when he clarifies for him.
What? Harry asks, confusion clearly etched into his features. Louis winks in answer, and leans
down, quickly placing his lips against Harrys neck and sucking.
Harry instantly goes completely still, and, really, thats a bit ridiculous. Its hardly the first time
Louis has sucked a love bite into his neck. It used to be fairly regular practice back in the
beginning of One Direction, especially towards Liam, because hed get so god damn worried
about what Danielle would think, fidgeting and trying to get away. Harry had always taken it in a
stride, never much bothered by it. Then again Harry also walked around wearing a gold thong, or
even naked, so, like, its no surprise that a little neck-sucking between mates was a no big deal for
him.
This time, though, hes not squirming or laughing like he used to, but rather absolutely frozen in
place, limbs not moving an inch and seemingly barely breathing. Louis absolutely cannot afford to
overthink it, so he just continues working on the mark on Harrys, trying to keep it as platonic as
possible. A platonic love bite, now theres a ridiculous idea, Jesus.
When hes satisfied by his work, he pulls back, viewing the slightly red mark on Harrys skin,
knowing that it will have turned a nice dark colour within the next five or so minutes. There, he
says, grinning as he gets off Harrys lap. Let them all analyse that on Tumblr.
Harry is silent for several moments, still frozen in the position hed been in before Louis
practically assaulted him. Louis grin is growing increasingly fake and uncomfortable, and he is
seriously starting to second guess what the fuck he was even thinking (he wasnt really thinking,
actually, which, yeah, honestly is probably the actual problem), when Harry finally clears his
throat and straightens slightly in the sofa.
Right, he says, clearing his throat again, right, yeah. Um And then, thank goodness, Harry
lets out a laugh, seeming slightly surprised by the sound himself. It doesnt take long for Louis to
join in, and just like that the awkward air is cleared. Their relationship is such a strange thing
sometimes. Brilliant, but strange. Louis occasionally thinks its the kind of thing that ought to be
studied or something. Like in a lab. By actual scientist.
So thats how its going to be, huh? Harry questions, the last peals of laughter having left his
mouth. His grin is wide and earnest, the mark on his neck darkening.
You complaining? Louis asks with a grin, sitting down on the sofa table in front of Harry.
Well, Harry replies, eyes twinkling and dimples deep, youre a bit of a cock tease, leaving me
just with that. Not sure how I feel about months like that, Lou.
Letting out a surprised laugh, Louis shakes his head. Fucking hell, Styles, you twat. Go get
ready. Weve got pictures to take, stores to shop in and all that jazz.
Speaking of pictures, Harry grins, taking a hold of Louis wrists and pulling him towards
himself on the sofa. Lets take one, yeah?
What? Louis laughs, having landed clumsily and awkwardly on the sofa next to Harry,
squeezed almost uncomfortably close to him.
Selfie-time! Harry exclaims enthusiastically as he reaches around Louis to grab the phone from
where Louis has put it down. Now that Im allowed to again, Im gonna tweet about you so
much people are going to get sick of it.
Haz, cmon, Louis laughs, tugging at his beanie self-consciously, which only makes Harry
shake his head.
Stop that, Lou. You look amazing.
Okay, fine. Lets do this then, might as well go all out.
Harrys answer is a grin, before he moves behind Louis, handing him the phone. Here, I think
you have a better angle.
Youre ridiculous, Louis concludes, tone fond and exasperated all at once, but nonetheless he
stretches out his arm, smiles and snaps a photo of the two of them. Without looking at the result,
he hands the phone to Harry, who sets about getting it posted, his tongue peeking out between his
lips in concentration.
Done! He claims with a smile a few moments later, finally stopping typing on his phone.
Lemme see! Louis demands, holding out his hand for Harrys phone.
Im just gonna get ready to go, yeah? Harry says, as he hands Louis his phone. Dont tweet
anything rude from my account while Im gone, Lou. Everyone knows youre with me, theyll
know you did it anyway.
Louis rolls his eyes as Harry makes his way out of the room, the thought having honestly not even
crossed his mind. He has to admit, though, its not really a surprise that Harry would expect it of
him. Turning his attention back to Harrys phone, he pulls up his most recent tweet.
The picture and the tweet are both perfectly innocent, but Louis knows itll send their fans into a
frenzy. Or at least it would have two years ago. He realizes suddenly that he has no idea what the
state of the Larry part of their fandom is. Surely it must have been difficult believing they were in
a relationship once their hiatus had commenced, and it became clear that they went months
without properly seeing each other. It must only be the actual shippers those who merely
enjoyed the fictional idea of them together, but who didnt actually put all that much stock in the
truth of it and the most hardcore believers left. Louis hopes those few would be enough to drum
up attention, hopes that their appearances will be enough to pull people back in, hopes that it isnt
too obvious that it is all a PR-stunt. If they are really going to do it, mind you. Fuck, Louis is
already thinking about it as a certainty.
A small part of Louis feels like he ought to feel bad about how they are going to attempt to fool
pretty much the entire world, but hes been in the industry long enough, gone through more than
enough with Eleanor, to know how the PR-machine works, and it wont really matter much how
he feels about it anyway. Dont hate the player, hate the game has never been more applicable
than now.
Mostly he is just disappointed that their music isnt enough, that they have to resort to such dirty
tactics, have to rely on publicity stunts to sell their record, but such is the way of Modest! and,
honestly, thats the way it has always been.
Louis is pulled from his downright depressing thoughts by Harry who arrives back in the room,
looking exactly as he did when he left, except for having exchanged his comfortable trackies with
his trademark tight black jeans.
Ready to go? Harry grins, holding his hand out for his phone, and checking the time when he
receives it, before stuffing it back in his pocket. I think well make it just in time if we leave
now.
Sure, Louis agrees, getting up from the sofa and making his way towards Harry. Ill just check
how I look, and then Ill be back. He reaches him, and smiles wryly at him when he makes to
pass him, only to be stopped when Harry grabs his wrist, spinning him around to face him.
No need. Harry says, smoothing his palm over Louis shoulders. You look gorgeous, love.
Thanks, Louis says, and bites his lip in an attempt not to break out into a massive, pleased smile.
The thing is, Harry would probably say that even if Louis looked like absolute shit, but on the
other hand the younger man is nothing if not sincere, and Louis chooses to trust that he isnt going
to let him go and get papped looking like someone who would end up on a worst-dressed list in
some trashy magazine.
Lets go then, yeah?
Nodding Harry places his hand on Louis lower back and steers him towards the front door.
Should we, like, hold hands or something? Harry questions as they make their way down his
driveway. Or like, touch? I dont know, how are we supposed to do this?
I think we should probably just act like weve always done, Haz. That used to make them think
we were dating, anyway. And like, holding hands is probably pretty much confirming that were
in a relationship, right? So we should probably steer clear of that until weve decided if were
really doing this.
Harry nods in agreement. Yeah, yeah. Of course. Youre right, he says, before taking a deep
breath and continuing: Lou? He stops abruptly and reaches out for Louis wrist to stop him too.
When Louis has stilled and turned his attention to him, he continues, voice small and tentative, but
so, so sincere. Im really glad its you Im doing this with this time.
Louis smile softens, because, fuck, Harry is only twenty-two years old and hes already been
through a shitload of fake public romances, his name practically synonymous with publicity stunts
for most of the general public. Hes never gotten to have a proper genuine relationship, never
gotten to really fall in love, and thats just so, so unfair, because if there is one person in the world
who deserves to find love and live happily ever after, its Harry Styles. Hes been through far
more than anyone ought to have to go through, especially at his age.
Louis twist his wrist out of Harrys grip gently, and intertwines their fingers, squeezing once
before letting go. Me too, Haz.
They spend the next twenty minutes walking to the shop chatting about the upcoming album and
tour, and Louis is decidedly not nervous about whats awaiting them when they get to Tesco. Hes
not. Hes a fucking professional popstar, paps and publicity stunts are like rainy days in England
to him common and to be expected. Hes not nervous, hes not.
Ready? Harry mutters quietly as they spot the store further down the road. Theres a man
leaning against a black car in front of it, the big camera around his neck giving away his
profession.
Yeah, Louis breathes, as the man notices them and quickly aims his camera at the two of them.
Louis ignores him, focusing on Harry. If theres one thing hes learned from his outing with
Eleanor, it is that looking straight at the camera only confirms that you knew it would be there,
and therefore that it was orchestrated.
You? He keeps his tone light, his smile genuine, all too aware of the man snapping photos of
them.
Harrys answering smile is blinding and not entirely genuine, but Louis knows thats more to do
with the situation than Louis. Yeah, Harry says, and instantly relaxes, smile going from manic to
soft and fond, when Louis places his hand gently on his elbow. Louis smiles back at him, and for
a moment he can forget all about paps and publicity stunts and fooling the public. For a moment
its just the two of them. Just Harry and Louis.
Its a nice moment.
Then he releases Harrys elbow, and its back to business.
They reach Tesco, nodding in acknowledgement at the pap, who nods back at them with a small
smile that seems genuine. At least he doesnt seem like an arse, so theres always that. Harry
places his hand on the small of Louis back and guides him into the store, and Louis thinks he can
hear the tell-tale sound of a camera shutter going off.
So he caught that moment, lovely.
Is he going to come in? Louis questions as they make their way down the first aisle, Harry
having already picked up a basket.
I dont think so. PR felt it would be too obvious, you know, that it was staged, but hell probably
snap some photos from the outside. Possibly a video, Im not sure.
Louis nods. Okay. Great. Well, weve got 45 minutes to spend, Harold. God, thats a long time
to spend in Tesco.
Yeah, well, Harry grins. We have to shop for dinner, and then knowing you, well have
to walk around a second time, putting back all the stupid stuff youve added to the basket, so I
think well manage.
Heeeeeey, Louis whines in protest, though, well, Harry does have a point that was usually
how it went down whenever they went shopping together back when they still lived with each
other. What are you making anyway?
Harry looks slightly bashful at Louis inquiry, and turns to examine a lettuce head instead of
meeting his eyes when he answers: Thought Id make fajitas, you know, like old times. But, I
dont know, would you rather have something else? I could make something more fancy maybe
a steak or some salmon-
Love, Louis interrupts him, smiling. He places his hand on Harrys bicep and waits for him to
turn to face Louis. Fajitas sound amazing. You could literally make me cheese toasties and Id be
impressed. And Ive missed your fajitas maybe even more than I missed your fry-ups, to be
honest.
Yeah? Harry questions, positively beaming with pride.
Yeah. Louis confirms, his own smile wide. Now, what do we need?
Ive got the list right here, Harry says as he pulls out a folded piece of paper from his impossibly
tight trousers. Do you want chicken or beef?
Uumm, Louis laughs, both?
Harrys answer is a large grin. Both it is, then. Could you grab two peppers? Just a red and a
green one. Ill pick us out some avocados for the guacamole.
Ay, sir. Louis says, doing a stupid salute with his hand, before making his way to the peppers,
carefully picking out two that look alright big and shiny, with no visible blemishes. When he
looks up after having put the two in a plastic bag, hes met with the sight of Harry watching him
with a soft, fond expression, avocados already in the basket, along with a punnet of cherry
tomatoes, red onions and some limes. What? Louis asks, self-conscious suddenly.
Nothing, Harry says, shaking his head as if to rid himself of his thoughts, before making his
way to Louis, holding out the basket for him to place the peppers in. Sorry, you just looked so
cute being all focused on picking out two perfect peppers. He nudges his shoulder against Louis
playfully, as they make their way further into the store.
Im not cute. Louis grunts, mock-offended, Im rugged and manly, Harold.
Sure, Harry laughs, whatever you say.
Louis wants to argue further, but instead he just grabs the nearest item off the shelf next to him
(tinned peaches, which, well, disappointing), and places them in Harrys basket, daring him to
protest. All Harry does in return is to smile widely, clearly not all that perturbed by Louis
addition.
For pudding? How delicious, Lou!
Louis mock-scowls in return, half wishing he could have grabbed something worse like a bottle of
whipped cream or whatever. Though, knowing Harry, that would merely have inspired a quip
about it being a bit early in their relationship for that kind of thing, considering they werent
actually dating yet.
Youre a twat. He ends up informing him, and, yeah, not exactly Louis best comeback, but,
well, it is what it is.


The next 30 minutes pass in a blur of foodstuffs and banter and Harrys ridiculous shopping list,
which contains items such as cheddar like actual cheddar like a block not grated thats gross and
wine a good wine not Italian it gives Lou a headache (which is true, of course, and Louis really
shouldnt be surprised that Harry remembered, but he is) and TOILET PAPER!!!!!!!!!!!!. Louis
knows this because he stole the list halfway through their shopping, and tried to make Harry do
the rest of his purchases from memory, while hestuffed the basket with things that were decidedly
not a part of the list.
Its the most fun Louis has had shopping for years.
Harry too, if his wide grin and the deep dimples in his cheeks are any indication.
By the time they make it to the till, Harry has only put back one or two of the most outrageous
things Louis put in the basket, allowing the rest of it to join his intended purchases on the
conveyer belt. Louis tries not to feel immensely satisfied when Harry places the tinned peaches on
the belt with a fond smile.
Louis fails.
When the last item has been scanned, Louis reaches for his wallet and steps forward to pay, only
to have his way cut off by Harry, who steps in front of him, blocking his access completely.
No way, Lou, Harry grins over his shoulder, you paid yesterday, and Ill pay today. That was
our deal.
Louis huffs in mock-indignation, though really it doesnt make a shit of a difference to him,
theyre both multimillionaires, after all.
Fine. He settles for saying, before stepping closer to Harry and lifting himself to his tiptoes, and
hooking his chin on Harrys shoulder, watching as he converses with the sales person while he
pays. His hands rest comfortably against Harrys hips and Harry leans back into him, and turns his
head slightly to rub his cheek gently against his, like the absolute kitten that he is.
Louis squeezes his hips gently, before taking a step back and going to pick up their purchases.
Putting his wallet back in his back-pocket, Harry joins him a few moments later. When theyve
placed the last items in their bags, they nod their goodbyes to the middle-aged lady whod put
through their items, and Louis cant help but notice how shes looking at them with a fond smile,
eyes knowing. It makes Louis more uncomfortable than he is willing to admit.
They make their way out of the shop, ignoring the pap like only five years in the spotlight could
have taught them, and manage to get back to Harrys house without being stopped by any fans.
Louis counts it as a success.
Upon entering the house, it hits Louis that the public, scheduled part of their day is over, and that
the rest of the night is all for them. Hes surprised to note that he barely spared the pap a thought,
or the fact that what they were doing, was essentially a publicity stunt. It didnt feel like it at all.
The stark contrast to how it had been with Eleanor, and how it was with Harry, was mad.
They place their multiple shopping bags on the kitchen island, and Harry turns to Louis with a
wicked smile. So, he says, as he starts pulling out their purchases and placing them around the
kitchen. A pile on the sideboard for what theyll use now, the fridge or freezer for what needs to
be kept cool or frozen, and the cupboards for the random bits and pieces hed just been missing.
Is it safe to assume that your cooking skills havent improved since I last cooked you dinner?
Louis huffs, mock-offended. Whatever are you insinuating, Harold? That I cant cook? Wow, hit
me where it hurts, why dont you?
Harry laughs, and nudges Louis shoulder gently with his own. Alright then, he says, as he
holds the two peppers towards him, his massive hand easily big enough to hold them both, slice
these, then, yeah?
Louis looks at the peppers hed so carefully selected, and then up at Harry again. Cocking an
eyebrow, he reaches out to take the peppers from him one in each hand, because, damn it, not
everybody can have massive mutant-alien hands, and his hands are perfectly adequate and of
average size, thank you very much.
Now, truth be told, Louis cooking skills definitely havent improved much beyond being able to
scramble an egg or two, but theres no point telling Harry that, he thinks. Hes pretty sure even he
can manage to slice some peppers.
Contemplating life, are we? Harry asks suddenly, notifying Louis of the fact that he must have
stood with the peppers longer than he thought.
What?
Youre staring at them like theyre the skull to your Hamlet, love. All you need to do is slice
them, its not that hard. I promise. Harry hands him a chopping board and a knife, his face
dominated by a silly, amused smile. Louis, on the other hand, is not amused, but if it is
Shakespeare Harry wants, its Shakespeare hell get. Ish.
To be or not to be! Louis exclaims, holding on of the peppers out in front of him. Thou art
more lovely and more temperate, Romeo oh, Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo? That
is the question.
He is interrupted in his Shakespearean medley-soliloquy by a loud snort coming from Harry. He
turns his attention towards the younger boy, who is the very picture of mirth eyes big and bright,
cheeks dimpling and smile wide. Louis cocks an eyebrow at him, trying to remain aloof.
How dare you interrupt, you peasant? He questions in a mock-haughtily voice.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, Lou, Harry says, completely unfazed by Louis theatrics.
Its a testament to the years theyve known each other, and the vast amount of time theyve spent
together that nothing Louis does can surprise Harry anymore. Harry is probably considered pretty
much immune due to continuous exposure. Louis isnt sure he likes it, misses how he used to
affect him sometimes. But I dont think thats quite how it goes. Was it really drama you used to
want to study? You would probably need to brush up on your Shakespeare, babe.
Ha ha ha, Haz. Louis replies drily brilliant comeback that, he ought to get a medal. Or
something. Youre hilarious. You just wait, I dont need Shakespeare, I will slice you the nicest
slices of pepper you have ever seen. And you will be impressed, mark my words. You will want
to rename the dish after me. Fajitas--la-Louis Lou-hitas I dont know, well work on it.
Harry laughs in the unique Harry-way that despite everything, and much to Louis joy, he still
seems to be the only one who can bring forth. Its a brilliant laugh loud and unashamed, and its
maybe (probably) Louis favourite sound in the world. And, really, even if Harry isnt affected by
Louis like he once was even if he isnt hit by the same awe and almost hero-like adoration, hell
still always have this, this laugh that is just for him. And-- well, all things considered, thats okay
too.
Ill look forward to it.
Louis feels his competitive side awaken, which is so absolutely ridiculous, because they are
talking about slicing peppers, for Christ sakes, but its him and Harry in a nutshell, and its fun.
Fuckits silly and stupid, but its fun, and, really, it hits Louis that he never has as much fun
with anyone as he does when hes with Harry. His life may not always have been a bed of roses
after he chose to attend the X Factor, but its the absolute best decision of his life, because without
it he wouldnt have met Harry. And, of course, the fame and the money and the doing what he
loves every day and the rest of the boys its great, really great. But Harry, Harrys the true
prize.
Its with a smile on his face that he grabs a chopping board and a knife, and sets to fixing the
peppers. Next to him Harry has turned on the radio, humming softly along to Eds newest single
while grinding spices in his mortar. It feels normal and natural and so, so easy. Louis loves it.
Putting all thoughts of Harry and their joint domesticity in the back of his head, Louis turns his
attention to the peppers in front of him. He goes slow, opening them like hes seen Harry do
before, carefully making sure there arent any seeds getting mixed with the actual peppers, and
taking his time cutting them, attempting to get even, appealing slices.
He does a pretty decent job, if he has to say so himself. Hes fairly sure Harry could have done
both a better and a faster job of it, but hes not really going to dwell on that.
Cutting the last piece of pepper in two, he looks up startled when he hears the sound of a camera
shutter go off, only to find Harry standing with a small smile, his phone pointed towards him.
Whats that for? He questions, placing the knife on the board and moving to wipe his hands on
the tea towel hanging on the wall.
You just looked cute. You know, with your tongue peeking out, ridiculously concentrated on
slicing some pepper.
You going to tweet it?
Nope. Harry shakes his head, popping the p. This ones just for me. Finished? He nods at the
peppers, eyes alight and amused.
Yes, as a matter of fact I am. All for you, love, the nicest slices of pepper youll ever see.
Harry grins at him in reply, and moves closer to the peppers to inspect them. Louis moves nearer
too, curious to see how he will react. Harry takes one and pops it in his mouth, before leaning
against Louis, resting his hand on the small of his back. Its great, babe. Im impressed. Youre a
star. Lou-hitas was it? Hes clearly teasing, and Louis nudges his shoulders slightly.
No need to be a dick, Haz.
Harry laughs, clear and bright. Sorry, Lou. Im serious, its great, yeah? Toss half in each pan
and stir it around, will you? Ill make the guacamole.
Nodding, Louis grabs the chopping board and moves to the stove where two pans one chicken
and one beef are sizzling, filling the room with the delicious smell of spices, reminding him that
its been a while since he last ate. He distributes half of the peppers in each pan, and stirs them
carefully, determined not to botch this. He likes cooking with Harry, he finds. It was never
something they did an awful lot even when they lived together, if only for the sole reason that
Louis was an absolute disaster in a kitchen. But he likes it, and he would quite like for it to be a
regular occurrence, which it probably wont be if he botches their dinner.
When the peppers are thoroughly coated in marinade and sizzling along with the meat, and hes
fairly confident that it wont burn, he is struck by a sudden idea. He moves towards Harry, and
sneaks his hand into his pant pocket. He jumps a bit in shock and lets out a small shriek.
Unable to help laughing at his reaction, Louis pulls Harrys phone from his pocket. Im just
borrowing this, love.
Harry hums in acknowledgement. Just dont tweet rude stuff from my account, Lou.
You know, Harold, I really think we may need to have a conversation about the astounding lack
of trust there is in this relationship. Also, Id have you know, I would never.
Oh, we both know thats not true.
Hmm, Louis grunts, fine, then. But I wont.
Okay. Harry agrees, turning back to his avocados with a smile, and, well, maybe the whole trust
thing in the relationship isnt all that bad, all things considered. Even if it isnt technically a
relationship. Unless you count a friendship, in which case it very much is, andwhy is Louis
even contemplating this, Jesus.
Louis turns back to the stove too, this time armed with Harrys phone. He stirs the two pans
quickly, making sure that nothing has burned in his absence. Luckily both still look delicious. He
turns his attention to Harrys phone still clutched in his hand, sending a mental reminder to himself
that he needs to charge his, and opens Harrys twitter app. He makes quick work of logging Harry
off and himself on, thankful that one of the clauses of his new contract granted him the full control
of his twitter back.
Hed signed it away back when the stunt with Eleanor and the separation from Harry had really
started, not wanting to keep tweeting loved up lies, thinking it easier if he just left it up to PR and
management. It had escalated, however, to heights that Louis had never dreamed of, and soon it
seemed that twitter-Louis was like the alter ego of who Louis himself was. It had been both awful
and frustrating, and he was very, very happy that time was behind him.
Snapping a photo of one of the pans, he quickly attaches it to a tweet, writes something vague and
posts it with a smile.
Its pretty clever, if he has to say so himself. The tweet is perfectly innocent, while simultaneously
confirming that hes with Harry, and that they are doing something as domestic as cooking
together, after having gone to the supermarket just the two of them. Theyre practically an old
married couple.
And Louis knows the shippers used to love it when they were domestic. Back then they were
constantly told off, by management and PR, for appearing too in tune with each other, for
knowing what the other needed before it was ever said, for the ease with which they interacted,
like it was something they could change, like it wasnt natural. If there are any shippers left, Louis
figures theyll love this.
He logs off twitter again and lays Harrys phone on the kitchen counter, before stirring the meat
once more, making sure that nothing has burned while he was tweeting. Harry comes up behind
him, looking at the two pans over his shoulder.
It looks great, Louis. He says, as he reaches around himto turn the temperature of the hob down
a bit. Would you lay the table and maybe open a bottle of wine? Or beer? Or whatever you want.
Ill finish the rest.
Louis nods in assent, moving around Harry to get the plates luckily Harry hasnt changed the
placement of his dinnerware since the last time Louis visited, so hes saved from the
embarrassment of opening a cupboard, and being met by a blender or something ridiculous like
that.
Its difficult to say how maybe Harry really is a wizard but in the time it takes Louis to set the
table, pick a wine from Harrys admittedly large selection, and return to the kitchen, Harry has
managed to finish the fajitas, and seems to have something in the oven as well.
Whats that? Louis asks, inclining his head towards it.
Harry grins and holds up the now empty tin of peaches hes holding in his hand, before
dumping it in the rubbish bin.
Peach crumble.
What? Louis blurts, before barking out a surprised laugh. Youve made peach crumble? Jesus,
Haz, are you like secretly a house elf or something?
Furrowing his brows, it clearly takes Harry a moment to understand the reference, before breaking
into an even wider smile and shaking his head.
No, all human, Lou. Ready to eat?
Louis nods his confirmation and goes to help him carry the food into the dining room. Once
everything is placed on the table, and they have sat down, Louis is overwhelmed by what theyve
managed to produce. Its just fajitas, but it looks and smells fantastic, with plenty of guacamole
and salsa, andfuck, Louis is positively starving.
This looks bloody brilliant. Seriously, I hadnt realized how much Ive missed your fajitas, but
right now Im not sure how I survived this long without them!
Harrys only answer is to blush which, fucking adorable and indicate for Louis to tuck into the
food. He doesnt need to be told twice.
And its just as delicious as it smells, every bit as good as he remembers if not, in fact, better. Its
an explosion of taste and texture in Louis mouth, and he doesnt understand how Harry can be so
good at so many things. If not for his abysmal football skills, Louis would think him absolutely
perfect. And even the fact that hes so absolutely terrible at playing football is okay, because he
never turns down a game, is always so enthusiastic in his love for the game and for playing, is
never deterred by the fact that he is awful. He takes on every task and every challenge with the
same eagerness, the same unwavering optimism. Hes the very embodiment of just playing to have
fun.
Louis thinks, not for the first time, that the world would be a much better place, if more people
were like Harry Styles.
I was thinking, Harry says after theyve both had a few mouthfuls, that maybe we should talk
about what were going to tell the publicif we end up doing this it, I mean. Or maybe we should
talk about whether we are doing it? I mean, II dont know. I kind of feel like its up to you, you
know Maybe?
Louis pushes the food on his place around with his fork while he contemplates Harrys questions.
Finally he looks up at the younger boy, who seems to have been observing Louis in his silence,
bottom lip between his teeth, seeming almost worried and nervous.
It kind of feels like we already are, doesnt it?
Harry furrows his brow in response. I dont know, Lou, I meanwe could still say no. We
havent done anything that solidifies that were more than friends. Weve always meant for our
public image to go back to a friend status, so it could really just be a stepping stone to that, if
youd rather have that. I dont want you to do anything youll regret, anything youre not
comfortable with.
And what about you? What about what you want, what youre comfortable with?
Weve talked about this already, Lou. I just want to be out. I just want to be who I am, to stop
lying. I want to spend time with you, I want to have fun with the lads, and I want to show the
world who the real Harry Styles is.
You wont Louis starts, before clearing his throat and piercing a piece of chicken with his
fork for something to do with his hands, no real intent of actually eating it. You wont be able to
be proper out, H. Like, youll still be pretending, youll still be lying. You wont be able to date or
be with who you want to be with. It will still be a charade.
Louis, Harry breathes after a moment of silence. He looks conflicted, like hes fighting an
internal battle on what to say. Its not about that, Louis. I Its not about getting to date a man,
or about turning my womanizer image into someone who shags blokes left and right Its about
getting to be honest about who I am. About one of the most integral parts of me. I dontLou,
you have to stop thinking of pretending to be in a relationship with you as some sort of
punishment for me. I would literally love nothing more than to be your pretend-boyfriend. I mean,
Louis, you have this idea of me being this fearless person, who just wants to be out and free, and I
do, but Im also so fucking terrified.
His eyes are wide and earnest, and Louis is struck by how very, very young he still is, is
overpowered by the need to cuddle him up, protect him from the evils of the world. He reaches
over the table and takes his hand, tangling their fingers together and holding on tight. Harry
squeezes back gratefully.
Im so scared, Lou. What if nobody will like me after this? What if they all feel like Ive lied to
them, like Ive betrayed them because theyd be right to. I have lied to everybody, and II
would like nothing more than having you by my side through it.
Id be there anyways, Harry. Theres literally no scenario where you coming out could happen
without you having my support one hundred and ten percent. Im always here, Haz. I promise.
You know that.
Yeah I know. Harry whispers, keeping his eyes on his plate.
And, love, if this could help the band shit, even if it just helps you, of course Id want to do it.
And, Im not gonna lie, Im terrified too, Ive always avoided thinking about coming out, because
I know how people are going to react, and its not exactly something I look particularly forward to
going through, but I should, I mean, I should stop lying about who I am, I should face up to it,
be proud of it, and fuck, I am proud, but coming out is still not a particularly appealing thing,
but well, coming out with you by my side would probably be a lot better than coming out alone.
And I had fun today, H, like, probably more fun than Ive had in ages. Ive missed you. And
theyve already had this conversation, Louis has already expressed how much hes missed Harry,
its nothing new. But still, its like they need to go over it all one more time.
Harry looks up at him through his lashes, a small smile playing on his lips. I missed you too.
Like, youve been right here all along, and yet it sort of feels like you havent been, you know?
Because I couldnt act like I wanted to around you, I had to constantly question my actions when
interacting with you. It was like we were always hiding, even when we were just together in
private, like being who we are, having the friendship we have, was something to be ashamed of.
Getting to just act naturally with you today Lou, that was-
Amazing.
Yeah. Harry breathes, agreeing. Hes quiet for a moment more, before squeezing Louis hand
and untangling their fingers. He picks up his fork and shovels a bite of fajita into his mouth. Louis
copies him, dipping the piece of chicken he speared what feels like ages ago in guacamole before
eating it. Its cold, but delicious nonetheless.
I was thinking that, like, itd be a good idea if we worked out the backstory ourselves, something
we think is believable and were comfortable with, so that we wont be forced into anything
management has cooked up when we talk to them?
Louis contemplates Harrys words briefly, before nodding. Yeah, I think Id much prefer to make
our own version of the events, than have them invent something they feel will have the biggest
dramatic effect. I just Do you really think itll work, Haz?
It takes Harry a few moments to answer, and then: I dont know. But, well, theyre the experts,
right? And were trying to appeal to an older crowd, and wasnt that always mainly the people
who thought we were together? So, like I dont know. We can check twitter and Tumblr and
see what theyre saying when were done eating, word is bound to have spread about our
excursion by now, dont you think?
Louis nods in agreement. Yeah, I mean, I wouldnt be surprised if a fan or two spotted us
somewhere between your house and Tesco - or even in Tesco. Did you notice anyone staring in
the shop?
Im not sure, Harry shrugs. I mean, I didnt really pay attention? You took up most of it.
As it should be. Louis grins, pleased by Harrys bashful tone and the slight colouring of his
cheeks. Teasing and getting Harry flustered has always been a favourite pastime of Louis. Theres
nothing better than seeing the effect he can have on the cool and collected Harry Styles, because
he is the only one who has that kind of power. Harry is always in control, charming and flirty,
never thrown off his game, except for when its Louis. And its mutual, Harry has the ability to
fluster Louis like no other, he has just always been better at hiding it, a better actor. And thank
God for that.
Louis doesnt know why its always been like that between them, thinks maybe its because they
know each other as well as they do. They know exactly which buttons to push on each other.
As it should be. Harry agrees with dimpling cheeks, pulling him from his thoughts.
Anyway, Louis says, before taking another bite of the food, thinking while he chews. We
should maybe start with when? Like, when did we get together?
Yeah I-- well, sometime during our hiatus, right? Thatll be least damning, right? We havent
commented on our relationship status during the last two years, like its all just been tabloid
speculation, right? So they wont actually have solid ground for calling us liars.
Well, that makes good sense. But we still have the issue of how much time weve clearly spent
apart these last two years. And, also, when during our hiatus? And how did we go from friends to
more? I think the more we know about our supposed relationship, the more convincing we can be.
And the less likely we are to be caught in a lie, like Eleanor and I constantly were.
Yeah, Harry nods, thats what I was thinking as well. And, Im thinking wed probably want
to be together for a bit before revealing it to the public, right? Like, wed want to be sure this was
really what we wanted, and also have time to build a solid relationship in peace and private So,
like maybe a year, a year and a half? Does that seem unreasonable?
No, that sound good, I think. Like wed have gotten together six months into our hiatus, and
wed have been together for, what, six months when you left for America with Ed.
Exactly, and I was only with him two months, and I visited London several times. We could
easily say you flew out to see me in America as well, like, clearly it would have had to be done in
secret since we were hiding it, so it makes sense that thered be no evidence of it, you know?
Makes sense, Louis acknowledges, before bursting into laughter. Fuck, H, this is ridiculous.
Were seriously sitting here making up this story using logic and logistics and shit, its like were
plotting a damn fanfiction!
Harry grins in answer. Its kind of fun, though, right?
Louis feels his features soften as he looks at Harry, before nodding at the younger boy. Yeah, its
fun. And important, lets not forget important, young Harold. Its vital to our further survival in
this gruesome world.
Shut up, you twat! Harry grins while he kicks Louis shins under the table.
Ow! Louis exclaims dramatically, clutching his leg under the table. It didnt actually hurt at all,
Harry is always so fucking gentle, couldnt hurt a fucking fly. My leg! My leg! That domestic
violence, Harold! I want out, I want out of this relationship, I wan
Hes cut off by Harrys giggles, fucking giggles, because Harry Styles is actually only five years
old. Thats a confirmed fact, yes please and thank you. Louis doesnt know what hes supposed to
do with him, really. Jesus.
Seriously, Lou, Harry says, once his giggles have stopped, and Louis adopts a serious attitude
again hes gotten a lot better at that within the last few years. We got together six months into
the hiatus Why? Like, why did we suddenly go from friends to lovers?
I I dont know.
Well, weve always been close, yeah? Uumm Harry runs a hand through his hair and looks
away, not meeting Louis eyes. He drops both hands to the table, and starts to fiddle with his
paper napkin, pulling it to pieces that he collects in a small pile next to his plate. Louis waits
patiently for him to continue another thing hes gotten better at: patience.
I think, maybe itd be most believable if we didnt just both develop feelings for each other out of
the blue, at the same time nonetheless
Well, yeah, I see that, but whats the alternative?
Well, maybe we should say that Ive always been a bit in love with you, like, but never thought I
could have you. I dont think people will find it all that hard to believe with how much they used
to go on about my heart-eyes and fond looks.
Something twists inside Louis, because well, he doesnt even know why, Jesus. Its just, the
thought of Harry having been in love with him for years is so foreign, so impossible to imagine.
Louis knows how they look at each other, knows how people interpret it, and he would be a liar if
he said hed never entertained the thought of him and Harry as a couple. When so many people
believe you to be something, you definitely entertain the idea it cant be helped. But it had
always been a fleeting thought, too abstract to take seriously, because Harry is his best friend, he
loves Harry more than anything, and there is literally nothing hed do to risk their friendship.
And, then maybe we should say that we didnt get to see each other very much during the first
six months of our hiatus, and we just really, really missed each other, yeah?
Thats not even a lie, Haz. Louis interrupted, smiling gently.
No, its not. But isnt there something to say about sticking as close to the truth as possible? And,
anyway, there was that dinner thing like five months into the hiatus, right? And there are pap shots
of all five of us, so people know we were both there, and we can maybe say that we stayed
together when the other lads left and I dont know Maybe one thing just led to another from
then on, yeah?
Louis nods, impressed by how much thought Harry seemed to have given their entire situation.
Yeah, that that sounds plausible, yeah. And we just didnt want to hide our relationship
anymore with the tour coming up, like with all the paps and the fans around itd be a nightmare, so
thats why we chose now to come out, right?
Yeah, thats a pretty good reason. Like, I mean, I dont think well be able to avoid some people
pointing out how the timing coincides with so many major One Direction things, right when
things are going bad for us PR-wise, but, I mean, I dont think I did a single PR-stunt that wasnt
labelled as such at least by some, and that never seemed to decrease the value of them, you
know?
The value of PR-stunts, my, my Styles-
Thats not what I meant, Lou. I loathe them, you know that, but that doesnt mean I cant
acknowledge that they work.
I know, love. Im just teasing. His head is starting to hurt from their intense conversation, and he
quickly makes the decision that its time to talk about something else. Dinner was fantastic, by
the way, but I do believe I was promised some dessert too?
Harry grins in response and together they manage to clear the table in no time. When they make it
to the kitchen Louis gets busy putting away the leftovers and loading the dishwasher while Harry
pulls a delicious smelling peach crumble out of the oven, and whips up some cream. They finish at
approximately the same time, Louis fetching two dessert plates from Harrys cupboard while
Harry gets the kettle on.
Wanna just eat in here? Harry questions as he grabs two mugs.
Louis is rather distracted by the important task of choosing which tea they will drink, but nods
nonetheless. And the next thing he knows, hes sitting by Harrys kitchen island, eating a bloody
delicious peach crumble and drinking tea with Harry. Its been so long since the last time they did
this, it feels like. Actually, what it feels like is exactly how it was when they lived together. He
voices his last thought out loud, smiling softly at Harry.
Yeah, the younger boy agrees, I missed it.
The way he says it really gets Louis, hes being all shy and soft, like hes embarrassed and a bit
scared to admit it out loud to Louis, and, shit, Harry should never be scared to admit that he misses
Louis, when Louis will always, always have missed Harry just as much.
Me too, H. Like a proper lot. This is gonna be nice, eh?
Harry looks up, locking his eyes with Louis. Hes fucking glowing, his eyes big and bright, smile
wide, dimples deep and so, so absolutely breathtakingly beautiful.
Yeah, its going to be really nice.
Eventually Louis glances down on his watch and sees that its half past ten, which definitely
means he should probably get home. When he voices that thought out loud, Harry pouts like a five
year old, which serves no purpose except to make Louis laugh.
You could stay? Harry says eventually, when Louis has calmed down, If youd like. I mean,
its late, yeah? And I have a guest roomor a room if you wanna cuddle and really relive how it
was when we lived together? We could check twitter and Tumblr and see how people have
reacted to today.
Okay, Louis finds himself agreeing before he even has the time to properly think it through,
sounds great, Harry but then youll have to make me your fry-up tomorrow morning!
Harry grins in response. Of course, but then youll have to come cuddle. Ive missed cuddling.
Cuddling is great, why isnt cuddling more of a thing?
Well make it a thing. Louis says definitively, as they neglect the dishes on the kitchen island,
and make their way upstairs to Harrys master bedroom.
Its not long before theyre both snuggled up in Harrys massive bed, fluffy pillows and soft sheets
surrounding them. Harrys got his laptop in his lap, and theyre both sitting up, resting their backs
against the headboard.
Alright, Harry says, sending a quick grin Louis way. Lets see what theyre saying. Tumblr or
twitter first?
Tumblr. Louis says definitively. Check the Larry Stylinson tag.
Uuhm, Harry says, fidgeting slightly with the edge of the comforter spread over them while
avoiding looking at Louis. I sort of have a blog? Like, I dont post But I made one like way
back, um, just to keep up with what they were saying, and I sort of followed all the big blogs,
right? So itd probably be easier just looking through that dash Uh, well... if any of them are still
around, that is.
Sure. Louis says simply, not really bothered by Harrys admission. He understands perfectly
well the urge to know what people are saying about you it was a pretty regular thing for Louis to
go through the different Tumblr-tags concerning him, especially in the beginning of their career
and when the closeting intensified.
Right, Harry glances at him, a small smile playing on his lips. He quickly goes to sign in, and
Louis nearly gasps when his dashboard loads. There are so many different pictures of todays
event, with so many different captions and edits, and its just a little bit overwhelming. There are
photos of them walking together, of them standing close talking inside the store, of Harrys hand
on the small of Louis back and Louis chin resting on Harrys shoulder.
The tags, though the tags are what really get him.
fuck you guys I think this could be it I think they might be starting the coming out process
cant believe I ever doubted I mean just look at them
boyfriends in love
do you think theyll be out by the time of the tour??
Fucking shit! Guys is that a hickey?!?!!?!?!? Look at Harrys neck omg!!!
look at it zoomed in omg larry smut!!
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And a million other variations of the above all expressing their excitement and happiness. If
nothing else, it seems that the Tumblr shippers are happy. And, well, Louis is no expert on
Tumblr, but considering the amount of notes on most of the posts, it looks as though there is still a
significant amount of people left. He voices this thought out loud to Harry.
Yeah, its kind of brilliant, isnt it?
Its not how the masses are going to react though, Harry. I mean, these people are already Larry-
shippers. We have no idea how the rest of our fans, or former fans, will react.
Right, youre right Should we- like, should we check twitter now?
I No, I dont think so. Lets leave it up to PR, yeah? Im knackered anyways, I could use an
early night.
Harry giggles, like the absolute schoolgirl that he is. Its a quarter past eleven, Lou.
As I said: early.
Harry laughs again, and Louis shuffles to his side of the bed, putting some distance between
himself and Harry. He buries his head in his pillow and takes a deep breath in. Everything smells
of Harry. Everything from the sheets on the bed, to the t-shirt and pyjama bottoms hes borrowed,
to the actual Harry next to him. It is one of Louis favourite smells in the world.
Closing his eyes, he let out a content sigh. Night, Haz.
Harrys reply comes a few moments later. Sweet dreams, Lou.
Louis tries to relax his body enough to fall to sleep, and is just starting to properly feel the pull of
oblivion, when he senses Harry move closer to him. He really ought to be surprised, but in all
honesty hes actually not. He turns around so that theyre face to face, suddenly lying ridiculously
close considering the size of Harrys enormous bed. Harry gives him a sheepish grin, and
intertwines their ankles. Louis smiles softly back at him before flopping onto his back.
You promised me cuddles! is Harrys reasoning, as he pushes himself closer to Louis,
minimizing the already non-existing space between their bodies. Harrys body is warm and firm
nothing like the smaller, soft boyish silhouette Louis used to lie wrapped up in four years ago.
I feel like this should be weirder than it is? Louis trails off, raising an eyebrow, and it sounds
more like a question than he intended it to.
Harry huffs and then agrees: Maybe. He moves to rest his head on Louis shoulder, lying almost
halfway on top of him. He then places his hand on Louis stomach, and Louis can feel it when he
breathes in deeply, burning through the fabric of his t-shirt. But weve never really been normal,
have we?
No, Louis agrees, tightening his arms around Harry. I like this better anyway.

III
Chapter Notes
Well, it's Friday again, would you look at that. Time sure does fly, eh?
A massive, massive thank you to everyone who read, left kudos and commented so
far, this past week has been rough, so it was a bright light in a dark time. Thank you,
thank you from the bottom of my heart.
And of course thank you to Jess and Loo for looking it over and making it much
more british and also much better.
Also the customary thank you to Nina, because without you this would be nothing.
And also because you're the queen of manips. It's so strange to me that one of yours
still hasn't appeared in the fic. Next chapter!
Aaaaaaaand the chapter. Hope you enjoy! xx
Vi kan fylde den kop helt op til randen
Vi kan kaste med gnister til vi har en brand
Vi kan starte det hele op igen
Ja vi kan bare blive ved min ven
Men hvor ender vi s henne?
Hvor ender vi s henne?
(Marie Key Landet)
CHAPTER III:
Its two weeks later when they find themselves back at Modest!s conference room, finally
discussing how everything is going to proceed. Its been two weeks filled with, well, with Harry,
really. Its been two wonderful weeks, but also two extraordinarily strange weeks. It seems as
though One Direction has been mentioned more in the media within the last two weeks, than they
have for the last two years. It's been kind of funny, really, following peoples speculation and
theories, and Louis has started getting a bit of a kick out of tweeting suggestive stuff. It's
essentially like playing a really elaborate prank on the world.
The fans had run particularly rampant the day after their shopping trip, when Louis had been
papped putting petrol on his car around noon, wearing a lilac American Apparel jumper and his
own jeans from the day before. Thered been no doubt in anyones mind that he was wearing
Harrys sweater, the sheer size of it being a dead giveaway, as well as the millions of photos
floating around the internet of Harry himself wearing it years ago. It was a stroke of genius, if he
says so himself, leaving little to no doubt that Louis had spent the night at Harrys.
Never mind that nothing but some innocent cuddling between mates had happened.
Beyond that, theyd made sure to arrive to rehearsals together, taking fan photos upon entering
and exiting their rehearsal space, and generally spending loads of time at both their places. Theyd
eaten out in various parts of London, and even driven up to Manchester to have dinner at Rossos
again. Itd just been nice. Very nice. Not even feeling like a publicity stunt, really.
Now though, theyre sitting here again, and it would all be fine and dandy, if not for the fact that
Louis feels horrible. His throat had been starting to hurt the night before, and when he woke this
morning it was to a fever, terrible cough, and a throat that feels like someone is rubbing it with
sandpaper every time he talks.
So he tries not to. Talk, that is.
Harry keeps casting concerned glances his way, but whether its due to Louis silence or the fact
that he looks like he has died and been poorly resurrected, he doesnt know. Everything had been
done at a snails pace for Louis this morning, resulting in him being very late to get out of the
door. Hed hailed a cab, not trusting himself to be able to drive safely, and arrived at the Modest!
building at the very last moment. He and Harry hadnt had any time to talk before the meeting
began, but it was clear Harry could see that something was definitely wrong. Louis behaviour
throughout the meeting so far could only have solidified his suspicions.
Paying proper attention to the meeting is hardly something Louis is capable of doing in between
coughing up his lungs and the massive dizzy spells that seem to hit him at regular intervals, as well
as just the general shitty-ness hes feeling from the fever.
Louis has never been graciously ill. One could argue that Louis should be professional enough to
power through, and Lord knows that hes performed more concerts than hed care to recall feeling
like absolute death, but hes definitely not feeling particularly inclined towards putting on his
bravado and powering through whilst he feels like this, for a bunch of people in suits that he has
little love for, while they negotiate to which degree his life is going to be a charade.
Yeah. Thanks, but no thanks.
Luckily, Harry has seemed to pick up on this, and has taken it upon himself to represent them
both. Louis is eternally grateful. Harry Styles truly is too good for this world, and one day Louis is
going to figure out how to give him something no one else has ever been able to, because he
deserves the fucking world.
On second thoughts, thats what Louis is doing right now. Hes giving Harry his chance to finally
come out and be who he is, and even though the thought of being out and proud scares Louis
more than probably anything has ever done, hes more than willing to do it for Harry.
Its the first time the thought solidifies itself in Louis mind with such clarity, and hes relieved to
find that he wants to do this. Not for himself at least not now, but perhaps, if hes lucky, in the
long run but for Harry. Hes doing this for Harry, and he is so, so okay with it.
Turning his attention back to the people in front of them, this time Harry Magee, Richard Griffiths,
and the PR lady from last time (Louis has forgotten her name again), as well as Simon Jones
which, Louis supposes, makes sense. The massive entourage of other people who had been
present the last time, was not to be seen now. Its all the same probably, Louis supposes. At least
he feels a little less like a cross between a zoo animal and a science guinea pig this time. Small
victories, and all that.
The response so far has been largely positive, Simon Jones is saying, while swiping on the iPad
in front of him. And the interest in the two of you has been even better than we anticipated. As
Im sure youve seen, One Direction has been featured heavily in the media over the last two
weeks. Its difficult to see how it has impacted your overall popularity at this point, and perhaps
we wont get a real, proper idea until were looking at single and album sales, but as an indicator,
both of your Twitters have seen a significant boost of followers, putting you near your old
numbers. Generally, there is nothing to suggest a coming out at this stage would harm your career.
On the contrary, there is much to suggest that it will help.
Its probably a good thing Louis is ill, otherwise hes not sure he could have stopped himself from
snorting rather unattractively. Simon Jones is a fucking hypocrite, and man, does Louis loathe
him. He may be good at his job, but hes also an absolute dick. Two years ago coming out would
have been the very worst thing that could have happened, would have destroyed the band
according to the people sitting in front of him now, pitching the coming out as whats going to
save the band. Fucking ridiculous.
So what we suggest, Jones continues, is that you are out by the end of the month. Since the
whole purpose of this is to garner publicity, we want the coming out to be as dramatic as possible,
to create as much attention as possible. The idea is that you will arrive separately from the rest of
the boys to the Teen Choice Awards next Sunday, whilst holding hands. Thatll create quite a
buzz when the other three arrive alone and then, were thinking ten minutes later, when you arrive
together. Its guaranteed to cause quite a stir.
Be affectionate on the red carpet, but dont confirm or deny anything. Well release a statement
confirming your relationship status that night, youll tweet something to thank the fans for their
support, or whatever you feel like during the next couple of days, and then well set you up with a
bunch of interviews, some with the rest of the band, some just with the two of you. Of course
youll be discussing the new album and the process of making it in these interviews as well, and
well make sure that all the articles concerning your relationship and coming out will mention your
TCA performance and new album as well. How does that sound?
Overwhelmed, Louis doesnt even know where to begin talking, what to think. It still seems so
absolutely surreal, and this plan theyve cooked upLouis cant even wrap his head around it. He
doubts hed be able to, even if his head didnt feel sluggish and heavy, and sort of like someone
was taking a sledgehammer to his skull. All around, not that pleasant a feeling.
Well he hears Harry start. Silence lingers for a moment and when Harry doesnt continue,
Louis tilts his head to peer at him, instantly meeting the younger mans eyes. Seems that Harry has
been looking at Louis, waiting for his approval or disapproval of the plan. It also seems that he
understands, upon making eye contact with Louis, that hes in no shape to factor into the making
of the decision.
Louis is very grateful when he feels Harrys hand squeeze his, taking this as confirmation that he
will take care of everything.
Well, Harry says again, I think were just going to trust your judgement, yeah? Just, the only
demand we have is that whatever were to do, it has to seem real and genuine, like something
wed do. We dont want it to get out that this is a publicity stunt; we dont want people to
speculate that maybe this isnt real. It has to look authentic, so nothing that screams publicity stunt,
okay?
Absolutely, Magee quickly agrees. Louis agrees too. Trust me, Harry. We have no intention of
this arrangement ever getting out. Were aiming for authenticity here. If anything weve learned
what not to do through Louis and Eleanor. And we trust the two of you to act as you would if you
really were dating. So far youve done an extraordinarily good job of being convincing.
Yes, Jones agrees. Were very satisfied with how youve played things thus far. Very
convincing. If I didnt know better, Id think you really were together. Ive had several people
from the press and the industry come to me questioning whats going on with the two of you. So,
good job. It seems natural and you seem very comfortable with each other, things that were
lacking between you and Eleanor, Louis. So Im very hopeful about this. I dont think well have
to worry about your PDA being as cringe-inducing as the Olympic kiss between Louis and
Eleanor was. I do suggest though, that you discuss the physical aspects of your public relationship
beforehand. When you kiss in public, wed rather not have it look like its the first time, and-
Wait a minute.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Scroll back, rewind the tape, fucking repeat. Louis tunes Simons voice out
completely, his brain too caught on Simons last words.
When you kiss in public.
When you kiss in public.
When you kiss in public.
Holy, fucking shit. Oh, bloody buggering hell, Louis had not thought of that part, had not even for
a second let his mind stray that way any of the times hes thought of their arrangement. Shit.
Shitshitshitshit. Hes going to have to kiss Harry, oh lord, what the fuck?
And the thing is, well, it wont be the first time, will it? Its not exactly something Louis
thinks about a lot. In truth, hes always actively tried not to think about it. In all honesty, Harry
doesnt even think Louis even remembers it, thats how much hes tried not to think about it.
Enough to actually feign amnesia the morning after.
Because Louis and Harry have already kissed. Once. Fucking years ago. Its so, so long ago and
yet Louis still remembers it as though itd happened yesterday. It was after the X Factor, the very
day theyd been told theyd be making a record, and theyd gotten piss drunk, just the five of them
together celebrating. Niall had ended up passed out on the kitchen floor, half-eaten sandwich lying
next to him, ready for consumption when he woke up again. Zayn had fallen asleep on the
bathroom floor after having thrown up his entire stomachs content, and Liam, having not had a
single drop of alcohol thanks to his lone kidney, had claimed the bed. Louis and Harry had found
themselves the only ones awake, sitting close on the sofa, giggling and whispering together, drunk
on vodka, and life, and each other.
Louis doesnt know how it happened, has no idea how they got from point A to point B. All he
knows is that one moment they were sitting close, laughing and practically hanging off each other,
and the next they were kissing.
If there is one thing in the world Louis will never forget, its the feeling of Harrys lips against his
own. The way theyd moulded against his, fitting perfectly.
And fuck if it wasnt exactly what Louis had been trying to tell himself for years that he didnt
want. Becausebecause Harry was, is, will always be, a boy.
Louis had been struggling with those thoughts back then so, so much. So fucking terrified of what
he was feeling, becausebecause he liked Hannah, Hannah was great, butkissing Hannah was
nothing like kissing Harry, and it definitely wasnt because he was Harry, it wasnt. It was
because Harry was a boy. And it was one of those things Louis had spent his entire life trying to
avoid thinking about, because, reallywell, its such a shit thing to think, but life would be a hell
of a lot easier, if he wasnt gay.
Its not that its a bad thing, not at all he didnt think so back then either. Harry had been very
upfront about his sexual preferences from the get go, and Louis had never been bothered, but
Harry wasnt the one labelled the gay one. Harry wasnt the one whod gotten a sexuality
shoved down his throat from the general public before hed even come to terms with it himself.
Hed grown up in Doncaster, hed played football and been a proper lad, and being gay was
absolutely not on top of his list of things that suited his life. It was stupid, a thought process
influenced by the gay stereotype, and Louis hadnt been able to realise that admitting he was gay,
even just to himself, wouldnt change a thing about who he was. Wouldnt make him a different
person, would still make him Louis, just Louis, albeit perhaps a more honest Louis.
It had been a dark time for him in that aspect his life had been transforming, he was going
through something amazing and unbelievable and just simply fantastic but his internal battles
had hung over his head like a thunder cloud.
Hed dealt with it the only way he knew how through loads and loads of humour. Being the
funny one, the class clown, that was a role Louis knew well how to play. So hed covered up his
insecurities and inner struggles with gay innuendo and loads of flirting with Harry. And whereas
most of the touching had been just for them, because that was how they were, how theyd always
been, he would be lying if he said he hadnt cranked up the flirting on stage a notch. In hindsight,
it had also been his own way for him to become comfortable with his sexuality, a way to ease him
into the fact that he was very much not straight, when it was something he very, very much didnt
want to deal with.
If that wasnt the most ridiculous way of dealing with ones problems, Louis doesnt know what it
was. But hes never claimed to be particularly good at dealing with anything related to feelings,
really. The humour had served as a nice distraction, had served as a fine way to ease himself into
the belief that maybe it would be alright.
Thinking back on all of it, the degree of internalized homophobia hed suffered through was
extreme. And it was so fucked up too, because he had absolutely nothing against gay people.
Harry was gay, and was the person Louis cared most for in the entire world alongside his family,
probably, and Louis had never for a second considered that something might have been wrong
with him for being gay.
Its not that hed thought something was wrong with him, it was more he just didnt want to
deal with what being gay entailed for him. He didnt want to admit that people were right, didnt
want to give them the satisfaction of thinking I told you so, didnt want to deal with the
implications of apparently being a walking gay stereotype. And he was being told, constantly,
what being gay would mean for his future, by management, by PR, even sometimes by his own
family. How being gay would ruin his career, how it would come to mean that One Direction
could no longer be. No wonder he hadnt wanted to come out even to himself.
It was not a part of his life he is particularly proud of.
How he dealt with Harry and the kiss is not something he is all that proud of either.
Looking back Louis has such a hard time understanding how Harry could stomach him. Harry
knew, hes sure. Theyve never actually talked about it but Louis is one hundred percent sure
Harry knew very well that Louis was gay all along, long before Louis had finally chosen him to
be the first person he came out to. Yet hed never said anything, had never pressured Louis to sit
down and think it through, had never as much as hinted at it.
Stand-up guy, Harry is, really.
Hed known that it was something Louis had needed to work out on his own, even if it had taken
him about a million and a half years.
Hed never been as sure of himself, or as confident, or as comfortable in his own skin as Harry,
and it was probably the quality of his that he admired and envied the most, out of all of Harrys
many admirable qualities.
It had been clear all along, how much Harry had disagreed with Louis actions, how much he
hated the idea of Eleanor, once Louis had brought her around the first time. It was clear how he
had thought that Louis was just putting off facing the inevitable, the truth. Louis sometimes thinks
that somehow, him denying who he truly was had been just as painful to Harry as it was to him.
Hed make his dislike of Louis relationship with Eleanor very clear from the beginning, being
positively frosty towards her when theyd first met. Itd shocked everyone, because Harry had
never been anything but polite, even to the rudest paps, but with that first meeting Harry had set
the course for his interaction with Eleanor from thereon out. In other words, absolutely none.
Honestly, Louis would probably have cared more, if it werent for the fact that it took all his
energy to maintain just a semblance of a relationship with Eleanor. It was different than with
Hannah because she had been one of his best mates and it was more of a slow transcendence into
something resembling romance, or as much as the two teenagers could manage, and it was never
all that passionate from either of their sides. It had ended amicably.
Him and Eleanor on the other hand were supposed to be a proper adult couple. It came with
certain expectations, like dinner dates and falling in love, and tons of other shit that Louis would
never feel for her, because it became more and more glaringly obvious that he was very, very
much not into women. Their lack of chemistry and physical intimacy had been a joke, and the
amount of people who saw right through it should probably have been a proper blow to Louis
faith in his acting abilities. As it was, he just found himself depressingly apathetic.
This, he thinks, as much as the revelations kissing Harry had brought with it, was the catalyst for
him finally admitting to himself, and coming to terms with, what hed been perfectly aware of for
years, but refused to accept.
He remembers it vividly, how it was simultaneously the best and worst day of his life. How it felt
like a massive weight had been lifted from his shoulders whilst heavy fear was simultaneously
weighing down on his chest, compressing his lungs and heart, and threatening to reduce him to
nothing.
So many conflicting feelings, emotions into overdrive, everything out of control.
Harry had been what got him through it, always Harry. Hed held him while he sobbed like there
was no tomorrow, brushed away his tears with his thumbs and his lips. Holding him close, so
close, pressed into his broad chest until all Louis could hear over the pounding of his own head
and the sounds of his sobs, was the steady beat of Harrys heart, anchoring him.
Hed held him close and stroked Louis back gently all through his confession of Im gay, Im
gay, Im gay, oh fuck, Im gay.
It was Harry whod been his rock through the next few months, through the break-up with
Eleanor after mere months (which, thank god, had gone smoothly, the lack of chemistry and
feelings thankfully having been mutual), the subsequent establishment of their PR-showmance and
his coming out to the rest of the band, to their management, to his mum. Hed wanted to get it all
over with once hed finally come clean to himself, wanted to somewhat embrace it after so many
years of not really being who he was. Harry had been his rock, his harbour, his ship keeping
him above water, never letting him drift away or sink into the abyss. Harry was there for him
through it all, a constant support, the very, very best part of Louis life. His best friend.
Theyd gotten matching tattoos exactly a year later. Friendship tattoos. A ship and a compass. It
had been Louis idea originally. Harry had been tattoo-crazy for ages and Louis had started to
warm up to the idea, having already gotten a few of his own. Hed wanted to do something to
show Harry how much he meant to him, that no matter how much management separated them in
public, no matter how much bullshit they went through, Louis would always be there, would
always be there for him.
Harry had almost cried when Louis suggested a ship and a compass. Louis heart may have nearly
burst with affection for his best friend so young to be shouldering so much.
It wasnt their first tattoo as friends though, Louis thinks as he swipes his thumb over the oops!
on his forearm. Harry had gotten Hi in Louis handwriting, the very first thing Louis had ever
said to him, and Louis hadnt thought twice about reciprocating. But the ship and the compass
were different, so, so different, and Louis got why so many people considered them to be couples
tattoos. They almost were, after all.
The ship and compass were only the first in a long line of tattoos that Larry shippers thought were
couple tattoos, though. There was the butterfly on Harrys stomach and the it is what it is on
Louis chest, and theyd both known the connection between the two Harry having come
bouncing into Louis hotel room with an iPad with the sketch on and talking a mile a minute about
a bloody butterfly on his stomach, introducing Louis to the words that he now has permanently
inked into his chest. It had never been intended as anything but two separate tattoos, no matter
how people had perceived them. It was the same with the rope and the anchor Louis and Harry
had both taken a shine to nautical themed tattoos, had often sat and discussed motives with each
other, had gotten the idea of ropes and anchors because they both though it was cool. It didnt
mean anything. It didnt.
But it all comes back to the fact that Louis owes just about everything to Harry. He often feels
with good reason that he wouldnt stand tall like he does today, if not for Harry.
Harry.
Who he will have to kiss again soon. Fuck.
Its just theyre going to have to pretend to be a couple, a proper couple. Theyre going to have
to be convincing, it cant be like the farce that was Louis PR-relationship with Eleanor. Louis
wont let it be. But he also doesnt know how to make out with Harry one moment and then be
best friends again the next. Theyve always been tactile and affectionate, but thats not exactly
tantamount to swapping DNA. Louis is not made for casual or friends with benefits how is
he supposed to snog Harry one moment and go back to being laddy-dude-bro-pals the next? Like,
its Harry, its not like he can just be totally clinical about it. At any rate, he tried that with El and
their Olympics picture, and look how that had turned out!
How is he supposed to snog Harry and make it seem natural? Will they have to practice? Itd be
pretty bad if their first public kiss looks awkward as fuck, and how could it not? Shit, Louis will
have to drink a bucket full of vodka and rely on liquid courage to cancel out any awkwardness or
nerves.
Its not like they can exactly use their only kiss as inspiration for the coming ones (fuck, ones as in
plural, as in more than one, holy fucking hell). First off, theyd been drunk off their ass, and
second offwell, Louis may or may not have pretended not to remember it the day after.
Oops?
Louis sometimes allows his thoughts to wander to what might have happened, if Niall hadnt
woken up from his nap on the kitchen floor and wandered into the living room of their expensive
hotel room, the half-eaten sandwich from earlier clutched in his hand. Its a scary thought because
honestly, Louis was so far gone in that moment that if one of the two of them was going to stop
what they were doing, itd have had to be Harry.
Nialls arrival though had spurred Harry and Louis to recoil from each other quicker than a
vampire presented with garlic. Which was very, very much for the best.
The next morning Louis had seen no other way out than to pretend hed had an alcohol-induced
blackout, not willing to risk the awkwardness and changes that acknowledging what theyd done
would bring to their relationship. Perhaps not the healthiest coping technique, but it was what it
was.
Harry never brought the kiss up.
Louis? Simons voice snaps Louis out of his thoughts, making Louis focus on him, ignoring the
way his vision blurs a bit. Hes really not feeling well and this meeting honestly cant be over fast
enough. Any thoughts to add?
Ummm Louis trails off, having not been paying attention to the conversation for the last ten
minutes or so, and therefore having absolutely zero idea of what theyre talking about. He feels
Harry squeeze his hand. No. No, I have nothing to add.
Magee nods. Alright, then. Well send the contracts to your lawyers to go through and wed like
them back and signed before Wednesday. Well brief you about the details before the TCAs.
Youre free to go now. Pleasure as always, boys.
Louis thinks he manages to mumble an agreement, or a goodbye, or something, before quickly
shaking the three mens hands, and then hes out of there like a bat out of hell. He has a single
track mind thats going get home, get home, get home, and hes at the stage where hed fight a
fucking army of aliens to get there because he feels absolutely terrible, and he has never, ever
needed to lie in his bed as much as he needs to right now. He might as well be dying. Its a real
possibility, he thinks.
Louis! Harry calls, startling Louis slightly, making him stop in his tracks in the middle of the
hallway and turn around. He feels quite stupid and attempts to smile sheepishly at Harry (though
he isnt sure what kind of grimace actually shows up on his face), hed sort of forgotten about
Harry in his haste to leave the building and get home.
Sorry, babe, he croaks, and really, is it possible for him to be getting steadily worse when it
already feels like hes dying? Totally forgot to say goodbye. I feel like shit, so I really just need to
get home in bed.
Harrys in front of him now, brow furrowed in concern. Yeah, he says. I could tell you werent
feeling all that good in there. You look terrible too, proper sickly.
Louis huffs despite their situation. Thanks, mate. Doing a splendid job of making me feel good
about myself.
Harrys brow furrows more. You should always feel good about yourself. He says quietly, as he
strokes his hand over Louis chin before resting it against his forehead, feeling his temperature.
Shit, youre burning up, he mumbles, mostly to himself, and well, Louis could have told him
that easily enough. Come on, Im taking you home, yeah? Ill make you some soup and you can
curl up in my bed and sleep. You shouldnt be alone now.
Harry, thats- not really necessary, is what Louis is trying to say, but Harry silences him with a
look, and honestly, Louis sees no reason to argue further. Hes always been filled with self-pity
when ill, and having someone take as good care of him as Harry undoubtedly will, is a definite
plus in his book. Okay. He says simply, managing a small smile that is more smile than grimace,
which he counts that as a success.
Harrys answering smile is small and private, but nonetheless filled with love. He wraps his arm
around Louis slim frame, and Louis allows himself to slumps against Harry, relishing in the way
he fits against his side perfectly, like Louis is a piece of IKEA furniture and Harry is the shrew
that holds him together. Or something. Whatever, Louis feels like shit and they fit, okay?
They make their way out of the Modest! building, Louis relying entirely on Harrys guidance,
having buried his face in the crook of his neck, trusting Harry to steer him safely to his car.
Im not sure, Harry says quietly, once theyre outside and walking down the sidewalk to where
Harry has parked. But I think I might see a pap in the car parked across the road from mine.
Either that or some dude with a very big camera feeling the need to point it at us.
Hmm. Louis hums in response, trying to will his body to pull away from Harrys embrace. He
doesnt get farther than the tiniest twitch though, before Harry tightens his arms around him, and
Louis feels his cool lips against his burning forehead. It feels like heaven. All thats missing is
harps playing and angels singing. An old man with a beard saying welcome, and Louis would
think he really had died and gone to paradise.
Stay. Harry whispers against his forehead before pulling back. Were supposed to be a couple
anyway, no ones going to question this.
They will though, Louis thinks, but he doesnt voice it out loud. They will because their
relationship status wont be confirmed for another week, but thats not really the point, is it? Harry
is right, all things pointing to them being a couple is a good thing at this point. Makes it more
believable when everythings revealed.
Harry halts as Louis assumes theyve reached his car. He opens the passenger door for him and
gently guides him towards it. For the briefest of moments, Louis gets the urge to lean up and peck
him on the mouth as thanks, but luckily he catches himself before he embarrasses himself so
thoroughly. The fevers really meddling with his brain, it seems.
Once hes seated comfortably in Harrys car, he leans his head back against the seat and manages
to fall asleep as Harry guides the car smoothly through traffic to his house.
He wakes up some time later when Harry is gently shaking his shoulder. Hes parked in front of
his house and has moved around the car to Louis side, his hand gripping Louis shoulder gently.
Were here, love. Harry says, voice quiet and gentle. Cmon, lets get you into bed, yeah?
Louis thinks he grunts an agreement, but hes still groggy and confused from a lovely mixture of
fever and sleep, so he cant really be sure. Its 50/50, probably. He moves to get out of the car,
limbs heavy and uncooperative, and he sways dangerously once hes finally standing, blood
having rushed to his brain and caused a head rush that leaves him dizzy and disoriented.
Harry grabs his hips, steadying him, and hes suddenly standing so, so close. Or maybe he already
was. Louis doesnt know. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Louis registers how nice Harry
smells. Like a combination of something fresh, and fruity, and something uniquely Harry. Huh.
Louis rests his head against Harrys shoulder, concentrating on breathing in and out, willing the
world to stop spinning.
You want me to carry you up? Harry questions, one of his hands moving to Louis back,
stroking it softly, gently pressing Louis closer to him. Hes teasing probably but honestly, Louis is
quite certain if he said yes, Harry would do it, dodgy back be damned.
Louis shakes his head, letting out a deep breath against Harrys shoulder. No, he says quietly,
his arms moving around Harrys waist to hold the younger boy against him briefly.
Harry is solid and warm and lovely. Grounding. And isnt that some metaphorical shit right there?
No, he repeats. I can walk. I just stood up too quickly, probably.
Okay. Harry agrees after a moment of silence. Okay. Louis feels Harrys lips against the top
of his head, and cant help but smile against Harrys collarbone.
Lets get you inside, yeah?
Louis lets Harry steer him as he turns slightly, fitting Louis under his arm once again, and walking
them towards the house.

A couple of minutes later when Louis is finally sitting on Harrys bed, he thinks hes honestly
never been so relieved to be on a bed in his entire life.
Do you want something to change into? Harry questions, after hes finished with fluffing the
pillows behind Louis, and generally fussing over the state of his bed.
Louis contemplates the trackies and sweatshirt hes wearing, and imagines getting under Harrys
covers wearing it. Not exactly a pleasant thought considering the fact that most of the time he feels
like hes burning up, only interrupted by the times he feels as though he might freeze to death. He
thinks Harrys duvet will probably help against those instances.
Maybe just a t-shirt?
Harry slides his hand down Louis cheek, and Louis cant help but lean into the contact.
Of course.
Harry withdraws his hand and moves towards his closet, but Louis barely has the time to miss the
coolness of his hand on his face before hes back. This time hes clutching a t-shirt Louis knows
will be massive on himself, but the fabric is cool and it wont cling to his body and its perfect.
Get changed, yeah? Ill get you a glass of water. Have you taken any Panadol today?
Louis shakes his head in the negative, before bending down to remove his socks. Its a slow
process removing all his clothes but he manages somehow, before slipping into Harrys t-shirt. He
sighs as the smell of Harry engulfs him, and the fabric attempts to cool his overheated body. It
feels a little bit like heaven.
When he looks up, Harry is standing in the doorway leading to the bathroom, a glass clutched in
one hand. Harry clears his throat and moves all the way into the room, settling on the bed next to
Louis. He holds out his palm, two small pills lying there, and hands Louis the glass of water.
Louis swallows the pills gratefully, thanking Harry with a smile. Harry smiles back, and lifts
himself from the bed as Louis settles back against the pillows, sinking into the paradise that is
Harrys bed. The sheets are soft and cool - Egyptian cotton or some shit, probably. Whatever.
Harry lifts the covers over Louis body and tucks him in gently before brushing his hand against
his forehead, moving his fringe to the side.
Get some sleep, yeah? Ill make some soup for you to eat when you wake up.
Louis smiles in acknowledgement again, its all he can muster as a reply, feeling how sleep is
already pulling him under its spell, the feel of the soft sheets against his body and Harrys hand
gently stroking his head being better than any lullaby. Within moments, hes fast asleep once
more.
When he wakes up later, he feels significantly better, the Panadol having done its job of reducing
his fever somewhat. Hes still not all good, but the feeling of imminent death has lessened
somewhat, so he counts that as a clear win. Louis 1, fever 0 (or maybe, technically, the fever
should be ahead several points, seeing as it got Louis in the first place, but really, details
shmetails).
He reaches out for his phone, which is curiously lying on the bedside table next to a glass of
water, and he figures that it must have been Harry who placed it there when hed picked up Louis
discarded clothes at some point after he had fallen asleep. Said clothes are nowhere in sight but,
knowing Harry hes probably thrown it in the washing machine already.
Looking at the time, he sees that its a quarter past four in the afternoon, meaning hes managed to
get a decent amount of sleep. Next thing he notices is the different notifications on his front screen.
Theres a text from his mother asking him to call her later, as well as a missed call from Zayn and
a twitter notification that Harry has tweeted something not long ago.
He texts back his mum quickly, telling her hell call tomorrow, and decides to ignore Zayn if its
anything important he can call again, Louis is definitely not feeling up to speaking with anyone
save from Harry right now. Lastly he opens twitter to see what kind of mad thing Harry has
deemed worthy of making into a tweet this time.
Theres a picture attached and Louis clicks on the link to see it properly. He is taken to Harrys
Instagram account, and met with a delicious picture of the soup that is no doubt simmering in a pot
downstairs in this very moment.
Louis honestly hadnt considered how hungry he actually was until he saw the tweet. He can only
imagine how people must be speculating right now about whether or not Harry is making soup for
him. They should probably do something to confirm that later. Might as well milk this for what
they can.
Oh, good. Youre awake, Harrys voice startles Louis out of his thoughts, and he looks up from
his phone to see Harry standing in the doorway, a tray between his hands, two bowls of what
Louis assumes must be the soup on it as well two mugs, steam rising from all of it.
Louis sits up straighter in bed and places his phone back on the bedside table. Yeah, he says,
smiling as Harry makes his way inside the room, walking carefully as to not trip and spill the
contents of the tray everywhere. Just woke up.
Feeling any better? Harry places the tray on Louis lap, and his mouth waters at the heavenly
smell of the soup that meets him. Harrys made tea as well, and its possibly the best sick meal
Louis could have imagined.
Yeah, Louis confirms. Sleeping did me good, I think the fevers gone down.
Harry hums and stretches his arm out, placing his hand against Louis forehead to feel his
temperature. Youre not quite as hot anymore, no.
Hey! Louis gasps, mock-offended. I beg to differ on that, please and thank you.
It takes Harry a fraction of a moment to catch up, and then hes grinning, dimples on full display.
You know perfectly well thats not what I meant, you vain, vain person. Youre always hot, is
that what you want to hear? Though I suppose you look more cute right now, bundled up in
blankets like that- Harry trails off, apparently taking a moment to think, before his grin widens
and he pulls out his phone from his impossibly tight pocket (how he fits anything into those jeans
of his, Louis will never know). In fact, he continues, Maybe I should justhe aims his phone
at Louis and in that moment, Louis understands what hes about to do.
If you take a photo, I swear to God Ill chop off your willy, Harold! Louis says, the words out
of his mouth before he even has the time to think anything through.
Harrys answer comes in the form of a pout, but he places his phone on the table next to Louis
and climbs into bed. He reaches for one of the bowls on the tray still situated on Louis lap, and
draws up his knees towards his chest, cradling the bowl in the space between.
Louis reaches for his own bowl, and they eat in companionable silence for the next few moments.
The soup is absolutely delicious but then again, Harrys the one who made it, so Louis would be a
fool to have expected anything else.
He doesnt notice when Harry abandons his bowl in favour of his phone, but soon hes interrupted
in his eating by the sound of a notification on his phone. He ignores it for a moment, eating the last
few spoonfuls of soup, and then reaches across Harry to grab his own phone.
few spoonfuls of soup, and then reaches across Harry to grab his own phone.
Its yet another tweet-notification from Harrys account, and Louis glances at Harry with a raised
brow, but is met with nothing but a self-satisfied smirk from the boy next to him. He shakes his
head grinning, because Harry truly is a wonderful dork, before sliding his thumb across the screen
of his iPhone to open the tweet.

Really? Is that the best you could come up with, H? he questions, but gets no answer in return,
as Harry is back to typing away at his phone. Not a moment passes before another notification
sounds.
Louis groans and reaches for Harrys phone, meaning to pry it from his hands.
God, gimme that phone, Styles. I invoke your rights to tweet, bloody hell, youre an
embarrassment!
Harrys laugh is loud and unabashed as he twists his body away from Louis, holding the phone
out of his reach. Louis entire body aches, and his headache is starting to make a fully fledged
return, as he angles his body towards Harry in attempt to wrestle the phone from him. He ignores
it.
Hes barely leaned towards Harry, before he feels the tray hes quite forgotten is still situated in his
lap slide. Instinctually he reaches down to steady it, and somehow miraculously avoids getting tea
from the still filled mugs all over the bed.
For a moment theyre both quiet, eyes locked. Harrys eyes are still dancing with amusement, and
soon he lets an honest to God giggle out. Louis cant help but smile back.
Oops. Harry says, grin wide again. He reaches to take a mug from the tray. Drink your tea
before it get too cold, Louis. He pats Louis on the top of his head mockingly, and Louis scowls
at him, but takes the tea nonetheless.
Its lukewarm by now, definitely a tad colder than how Louis would prefer it, but the liquid is
soothing for his throat, and Harry still knows how to make Louis tea to perfection.
Yet another notification sounds, and he looks up at a very smug looking Harry.
Finished now?
Harry nods his confirmation, grin still wide, prompting Louis to take his phone and check what he
has tweeted this time.
A surprised laugh escapes Louis. Youre really something else, H.
What? Harry questions. Id much like to keep it, thanks, and you never know with you and
your threats.
Louis smiles at him patronisingly, and drawls sarcastically, Dont worry, love. Wouldnt want to
rob the world of the eighth wonder that is your cock.
Harry pouts. Ill have you know, Ive never had any complaints about my dick, thank you very
much.
Louis hums in agreement, before saying casually, Well, its a nice dick.
The look of shock on Harrys face is priceless, and Louis bursts out laughing, very satisfied with
himself.
Heeeeeeeyyyyyyyy! Harry whines, shoving Louis shoulder with his own. Thats not nice.
Dont make fun of my dick, it has feelings too you know.
Not making fun, love. Ive seen it enough times to give you the totally platonic assessment that
its a nice dick. And, uhmwhat? What the fuck is Louis even saying? How are they even
having this conversation? Jesus Christ, Louis really needs to get his brain-to-mouth-filter checked
out.
Harry smirks. Its even nicer when hard, love.
And, oh, bastard has upped his game. For the briefest of moments, Louis doesnt know what to
say. He settles for dry sarcasm. That should really be his motto, that. Forget carpe diem and all that
jazz. No, Louis Tomlinson lives by when in doubt, use sarcasm. Its totally a thing. And if not, it
should be. Louis will make it a thing, yes. Copyright: Louis Tomlinson, etc. etc.
Im just gutted Ill never get to experience such wonders.
Harry doesnt roll his eyes, but its a damn near thing, Louis is sure. Proper torn up, I see?
Oh, yes. However will I live on?
Well- Harry starts, but is immediately cut off by Louis.
Do not finish that sentence, Harold.
Harry laughs, and leans over to plant a smacking kiss on Louis temple. Wouldnt dream of it,
babes.
Louis shakes his head in fond exasperation. He opens up twitter again, as Harry collects the tray
from his lap and places it on the floor along with all their bowls and mugs. By the time Harry is
back in the bed, Louis has composed his own tweet as an answer to Harrys. He smirks when he
hears Harrys phone go off with a notification.
Harry looks at him meaningfully, as he opens the tweet on his phone. You better not have
tweeted anything about my dick, Louis.
Laughing, Louis shakes his head. I would never, darling. Ive got class.
He glances down at the tweet still open on his phone and smiles. Theyre doing a splendid job at
the showmance thing, if he must say so himself.
Harry smiles softly at him once hes read the tweet. Youre welcome, Lou. He slides further
down the bed, rolling onto his side and facing Louis, making himself comfortable.
Should you really be here? Louis questions, as he nestles into the bed again, facing Harry.
Dont wanna get you ill too.
Hmm. Harry hums. Definitely should. Now, shush, Im tweeting.
Louis rolls his eyes fondly, but stays quiet nonetheless, as he waits for the notification of yet
another tweet. It comes mere moments later.
Louis smiles again, and it seems a near permanent feature on his face ever since he started
spending all this time with Harry. Its nice.
Im really feeling the love, mate.
Harry grins in response, before snatching Louis phone. Louis makes to protest, but then decides
against it, as Harry places both his and Louis phones on the bedside table.
Theres a certain change in the atmosphere, when Harry has his head placed on the pillow again.
Hes gently chewing on his bottom lip, a tell-tale sign that hes nervous about what hes going to
say next. Louis stays quiet and waits for Harry to speak.
It comes a few seconds later.
Have you thought about what youre going to say to your family?
Louis sighs, and buries his head in the pillow for a short moment before looking back at Harry.
Harrys eyes are filled with sympathy when Louis meets them.
It had been the absolute worst part of the arrangement with Eleanor, besides the forced public
separation from Harry, keeping it a secret from his family. His mother had known, of course, and
Dan and Mark, but the rest of his family, the rest of the world really, had been under the
impression that Louis and Eleanor were a genuine couple all through the two and a half years they
dated.
Lying to his family is one of the worst things Louis has ever done, but he also understood
perfectly well why it was a necessity.
He is still lying, really. Or, maybe not actively lying, they certainly do not have a habit of
discussing Louis sexuality over Sunday roast at home, but he is definitely lying by omission. To
this day, his mum is the only one who is aware of Louis sexuality. Maybe Dan knows too, Louis
doesnt know, but it wouldnt surprise him if his mum had told him.
It isnt that he doesnt trust the rest of his family, but its kind of that he cant really trust them with
this. Because his siblings are too young, too easily manipulated, their social media presence too
big. At least hell get to let them in a little more, at least he will get to introduce them to an integral
part of himself finally, at least they will be one step closer to actually knowing him.
If theyll still speak to him after hes dropped that bomb, that is. He wouldnt put it past them not
to, to be honest. Hes been lying to them for years, after all. Not being cross would probably be
the illogical reaction in this scenario.
And he really owes it to them all to Mark, to the girls, to his grandparents to tell them this in
person. Louis can barely begin to imagine how much worse it would be if they found out about it
all through the press. God, no. But telling them is definitely not something he looks forward to
either. How do you even say something like this? After years of them having defended him
against something that was actually the truth? Something that they should never have had to
defend him from in the first place? What if they wont want anything to do with him after this?
What if theyll look at him differently when theyre told hes gay? Theyre concerns Louis has
been having ever since he came out to himself, but concerns hes done everything he could to not
think about, and every day hes waited on telling them has only made it that much worse. It may
have been necessary, but it definitely has not done any good for his chances of forgiveness.
Fuck, Louis is not looking forward to these conversations.
And hell have to have them all now. Soon. No time to prepare. Because theyre leaving for
America on Saturday, in just less than a week. He has only five days to tell them all, and he
should really do it face to face. God, why is his life such a bloody soap opera?
I cant really tell them the truth, can I? Louis finally says, voice sounding weak and dejected
even to his own ears. Like, Fizzie and Lottie are only fifteen and seventeen. The rest of them
even younger. Theyre all on twitter and Instagram and shit. Theyll get asked about it by their
friends, people they meet on the street. I cant really ask of them to keep this kind of secret. I cant
put this on their shoulders, cant face them with the consequences of letting something slip. The
less who know the better. He takes in a deep breath and closes his eyes. Why is he always
getting himself into these kinds of situations? He opens his eyes a moment later when he feels
Harrys hand on his forearm, gesture comforting.
I suppose I get to come clean about my sexuality, though. Heres to hoping theyll still talk to me
after theyve learned that Ive been lying to them for years.
Lou-
Louis shakes his head. Its fine, H. No, God, this is so fucked up. He pauses for a moment,
running his hand through his unstyled fringe. Ill tell my mum the truth, of course. And Dan,
probably. Dont know about Mark. I suppose he deserves the truth as well. I dont know. Fuck.
How am I supposed to differentiate between who is old enough and trustworthy enough to know
the truth? Because this cant get out, Harry. Itd ruin us.
And Ill have to tell them before we leave. They deserve to hear this from me, not some tabloid or
livestream. Its the least I can do. Im gonna have to go to Donny soon. Tomorrow, possibly.
Tuesday morning at the latest. Im going to have to fill my mum in on everything. Ive been
avoiding answering her questions for weeks now. And Im gonna have to stop by my
grandparents, and Ill have to fill Stan in. And shit, Haz, what if they dont buy it? What if they
see through the lie?
Do you Harry trails off, biting his bottom lip once again. He clears his throat and tries again,
voice oddly small. Do you want me to come with you?
And. Oh. Louis hadnt even considered that as a possibility.
I- I dont- youd do that? Louis managed to stammer out, shocked or surprised or something.
Harry looks almost offended at Louis words. Or his tone. Either. Both. Whatever.
What do you mean would I do that? Of course Id do that, Lou. Id love to go with you. If you
think it would make it easier for you in any way, there is literally nothing Id love more than to go
with you. Maybe itd help, maybe it would make it more convincing, make it easier to convince
them, I dont know. Were apparently a very believable couple. I could try talking to Lottie and
Fizzie if they become cross with you, help you explain the situation to your mum, I dont know.
Just be there for you.
Louis doesnt even need a moment to think about it, before answering. Yeah, fuck, Harry. Id
love that. Really. Thatd be amazing.
Harry beams at him.
And, really, yes. Fuck. It would be brilliant to have Harry there. Help him explain it, a sort of
comforting presence. Someone on his side. Someone to help him if he got stuck. Just someone
who knows one hundred percent what the truth is. Louis always weathers a storm better with
Harry by his side. If nothing else, these past six years have at least taught him that.
And its like Strong, isnt it? Because it is a little bit for Harry. Or a lot. For him, about him. At
least in its intended version. Before the other writers had come with their inputs and made it into a
proper love song, it was all about Harry. Louis Strong is all about Harry. About how hed been
there for Louis through some of the toughest times of his life, how they were forever tied together,
because having Harry in his life was as essential as breathing for Louis existence. And it was
Harry whod taught Louis that he didnt have to do everything by himself, he didnt have to
internalize everything and shoulder all his problems alone. That is was okay to ask for help, that is
was okay to say that you needed someone else, and it was always Harry, it was always him Louis
needed, always him who knew what to say, what to do, how to help Louis no matter the situation.
Most times Louis didnt even have to say anything before Harry was by his side, doing exactly
what Louis needed him to do without receiving any instructions. Most of the time Harrys mere
presence makes Louis feel stronger.
So Strong is really his song. Harrys song. Technically. It would be a lot more so, if the other
writers hadnt steered it towards being a love song as much as they had. But Louis had gotten it
then, and he got it now. A love song was much more down One Directions alley and also, his
and Harrys friendship was unique. Hard to comprehend for most outsiders, not that Louis had
been reckless enough to divulge to the others that he was writing about Harry. Theyd
automatically assumed he was talking about Eleanor, and Louis had seen no reason to correct
them.
But he gets why people misunderstand and misinterpret, and generally just dont understand his
and Harrys friendship. Honestly, most of the time Louis isnt even sure he understands it himself.
It just is. It transcends the normal borders of friendship and exists on another plane entirely. In this
bubble that is just HarryandLouis. Its something that Louis would never have thought hed ever
get with anyone. He didnt even know it was a possibility, to be entirely honest, knowing another
person so well that they are practically an extension of you. An intimacy far deeper than any
relationship hes ever been in, any personal connection hes ever had with anyone. They just get
each other, they understand each other. They fit. Plain and simple, they fit. And sometimes
Harrys presence, his touch, his voice and his everything is as essential to Louis as his beating
heart or his working brain, as the air into his lungs.
Its not logical. Its not normal, its not anything Louis can explain properly. Sometimes it could
probably be discussed if its even healthy.
But it is, and its the best thing Louis got.
Itd be good for this whole charade too, yeah? Harry says, moving his hands to gently sweep
Louis fringe to the side. Louis eyes flutter at the contact. Wed get some speculation about me
going to Donny with you, get the talk going. I could call up Nick, and have him call during his
show while were driving up there, drop a few hints, maybe tweet something. Win-win, eh?
Louis doesnt quite consider Nicolas Grimshaws involvement a win-win, but its not exactly like
theyre the enemies the papers wanted them to be at one point either. They just dont really see eye
to eye on certain things, is the thing. Certain things mainly being Harry.
And its not that Louis resents Nick for his public friendship with Harry, for how they could spend
time together in the publics eye, how they could be surrounded by relationship rumours and it
was just fine, when the mere whisper of Harry and Louis being even within ten inches of each
other had practically used to make Modest! call emergency meetings. Its not. (Maybe it is).
Its a lot about the way that Nick used to trash Louis on the radio too, though. Louis doesnt know
what he ever did to the man to make him hold such a grudge. Maybe Louis hasnt always been
super friendly towards him, maybe its just that Harrys always liked Louis better. Ha!
Fact of the matter is though, that Louis Tomlinson is not Nick Grimshaws biggest fan, and the
feeling is very much mutual.
Yeah. Louis says instead of voicing those thoughts. Win-win. So tomorrow?
Harry smile softens even further, until hes looking at Louis with that fond expression that used to
make people think they were in love with each other. Lets wait till Tuesday morning, huh love?
Give you an extra day to recover?
Louis nods, eyelids starting to get more and more heavy. Yeah, sounds good, yeah. Ill call my
mum and set it all up tomorrow.
That sounds like a brilliant idea, Lou. You should get some sleep now though, get better, yeah?
Yeah, Louis agrees sleepily, night Haz.
Night Lou.
The last thing Louis feels before sleep overtakes him is Harrys lips against his forehead.
IV
Chapter Notes
Hiiiii!
Same as last time, thank you so much for reading and especially for leaving kudos
and comments! I love you all, I do I do.
Thank you to Jess and Loo for looking this over and making it much better and more
British!
Thank you to Nina for being awesome and for being the Queen of Manips! She's the
maker of the two mindblowing ones in this chapter - go send her some love. Thank
you, thank you, thank you babes!
And here's four - I hope you enjoy! If you like it, please leave a comment? xx
Folk de gr fra hinanden
De kan ikke f det til at hnge sammen
Og s str der en anden
Men vi to kan ikke klare os uden hinanden
(Marie Key Uden Forsvar)
CHAPTER IV:
Louis is the first to wake up the next day, keeping his eyes closed even after regaining
consciousness. He feels remarkably better, few traces of the fever and its side-effects left. Its
usually these 24-hour things that hit Louis the hardest for some reason. Whatever. Hes just glad
hes feeling better, what with the next couple of weeks hes facing.
Maybe it was Harrys chicken soup, maybe it was magic. Louis wouldnt be surprised to be
honest.
Sometime during the night theyve ended up curled around each other, cuddling. Louis forehead
resting against Harrys bare chest. Hell surely get a nice close-up of one of Harrys birds as soon
as he opens his eyes. Harry has his arms around him, holding him against his chest, and Louis
hands are resting against it, the skin smooth and warm under his touch. Their feet are tangled, and
Louis briefly wonders if they could actually manage to sleep in the same bed without ending up
intertwined with each other.
Probably not.
Harry is a notorious cuddler, if nothing else.
Needing to take a piss, he untangles himself from Harry as gently as possible, careful not to wake
the younger man. He must have stayed up long after Louis had fallen asleep, fever and illness
having significantly put a cramp on his normal bedtime.
He manages to get out of bed somehow, and though Harry twists a bit in his sleep and pulls the
duvet closer to his chest, cuddling it instead of Louis, he doesnt wake up.
As a last minute decision, Louis grabs his phone from the bedside table, before making his way to
the bathroom down the hall, not wanting to risk waking up Harry by using the ensuite one.
He checks the time on his phone as hes moving down the hallway. Its a quarter past eight and
Louis notes somewhere in the back of his mind that hes practically slept more this night than he
sometimes used to do over several days at the height of their career. Weird, that.
He also notes that itd be a reasonable time to call his mum and inform her that she should be
expecting both him and Harry sometime around noon tomorrow. Shell complain about the short
notice hes giving her, surely, but shell only be teasing, because Louis knows how much she
misses him and that shed never pass up an opportunity to have him visit. Or Harry.
His mum has always adored Harry but got to see him less and less as time progressed, and his and
Louis friendship was buried more and more from the rest of the world. As it is now, Louis
doesnt think his mum has seen Harry properly for years maybe, though he knows that they still
keep in contact. Its the same with Louis and Anne, though he actually has been to visit them a
few times during the hiatus, the last time on Harrys birthday for a quiet dinner. Its much easier
with Harrys family, has always been much easier with them because theyve always known the
entire truth, there has never been any reason to hide anything from them, never been any reason to
constantly be on guard like with his own family.
He takes care of his business, so to speak, and washes his hands, splashing a bit of water in his
head. Hes looked better but, all things considered, it could be a lot worse. He needs a shower
though, the feeling of dried sweat clinging to his body from yesterdays yoyo temperature.
He decides to call his mum first though, quickly dialling her familiar number. It only rings twice
before she picks up on the other end.
Louis? She breathes, her voice familiar even through the phone. Its been too long since hes
been home, too long since theyve talked. If hes being honest, hes been ignoring her, knowing
that shed ask him about Harry, demand an explanation, and he hasnt known what to tell her.
Morning mum.
Louis William Tomlinson. Whoops. Youve been ignoring me for the past two weeks, you
scoundrel. Ive had half a mind to drive down to London and demand that you talk to me! Is that
any way to treat your poor mother?
Sorry, mum.
Louis can hear her sigh on the other end. Its alright, love. Just... is everything alright with you?
Youre not in trouble? You know you can tell me anything.
Louis smiles, his mothers concern warming him like a blanket. Hes twenty-four, nearly twenty-
five, and she still dotes on him like a toddler, still worries about him like hes still a child. He used
to find it annoying. Now, though, he finds it comforting.
Everything is fine, mum. I do have something to tell you, though.
Is it about Harry?
Louis is stunned into silence for a moment before recovering somewhat, stammering out a
What?
I dont live on the moon, love. Ive seen the papers too. I--
No! Louis interrupts her. No. No, I mean, its not what it looks like, but it is about Harry, sort
of... Fuck, mum--
Language, poppet.
Louis sighs. Sorry. Its about me. And Harry. But not like you think, just. Id rather explain this
to you in person. Im coming up tomorrow, yeah? With Harry. Im bringing Harry, if thats
okay?
His mum is quiet for a moment. Of course. Yes, love. Of course you can come, and Harry too.
Itll be nice to see him again properly. Ill get the spare room ready for you, though I suppose one
of you will have to sleep on the sofa, or maybe I can convince Lottie to bunk in Fizzies room.
How long will you be staying?
Till early Wednesday afternoon, I think. Louis says, doing the quick maths in his head. If they
leave then, they can still manage a day with Anne and Robin. Harry would like that, Louis thinks.
And dont worry about the rooms. Harry and I can share the spare room; its nothing we havent
done before. In fact theyll have to, if theyre going to keep up the charade for Louis siblings.
He doesnt mention that though.
Well work it out when you get here. Call me when youre on the road, yeah? So we know when
to expect you? And I expect to get a long talk and a detailed explanation when you get here, is
that understood?
Louis grins, his mums mock stern tone of voice as recognisable to him as the sound of running
water.
Aye, aye maam! He doesnt salute, but its a damn near thing.
Good boy, his mum says fondly. Ill see you tomorrow then, Boo. Drive safe, yeah? Give my
love to Harry.
Yeah, Louis agrees, Ill do that. See you tomorrow. Love you.
Love you too, dear.
They both hang up and Louis turns on the water in the shower, adjusting the temperature until its
just right. He strips out of Harrys t-shirt, letting it fall carelessly to the floor, his black boxer briefs
following next, leaving him completely naked. He has the good sense to pull out a towel from the
cupboard he knows Harry keeps stocked with such essentials, laying it next to the sink before
slipping into the shower.
The warm water hits him and its exactly what Louis needs, loosening the tightness he hadnt even
noticed in his shoulders. This entire thing is just... so fucking scary. So, so bloody terrifying. Hes
about to come out. In less than a week hes coming out to the entire world, and Jesus Christ hes
not had enough time to prepare. Nowhere near enough time to prepare. If he could dictate the
amount of time he should be allowed to have to prepare himself, hed probably never get around
to actually doing it.
Maybe its a good thing its happening like this. Like ripping off a plaster, sort of. Quick and
without hesitating, and then its just done.
Hes coming out to the world in less than a week. Hes coming out to his family tomorrow.
His sisters, shit. What if they never want to speak to him again after this? What if they resent him
so much for lying to them all these years that they never want anything to do with him ever again?
Louis has never been so grateful for Harrys offer to do anything, as he is of his offer to come with
him now. Of all the stand-up things Harry has done, this is by far the best. Louis cannot even
begin to express what a relief it is to him. Saint Harry should be his name, really.
Louis allows himself an extra long shower, taking his time with applying shampoo to his semi-
long hair (he should really make a decision about that soon its at the point where he should
either cut it or commit to growing it longer like hed done in early 2014. Perhaps hed ask Harrys
opinion later). When hes finally rinsed the shampoo out of his hair and has deemed himself
sufficiently clean (and pruned), he turns off the water and steps out of the shower.
Grabbing the towel to dry off, he eyes his discarded clothes with distaste, not really feeling like
putting them on again. Running the towel through his dripping hair, he decides to borrow some of
Harrys clothes instead. He wraps the towel around his waist, grabs the dirty clothes, and makes
his way out of the bathroom.
He tiptoes into Harrys bedroom, careful not to wake him as he makes his way towards the chest
of drawers he knows contains Harrys underwear (and his millions of headscarves, even If he
hasnt worn one in such a long time. Louis kind of misses them). He finds a pair of basic black
briefs, much like the ones he was wearing earlier, stifling his curiosity when seeing the
nondescript black shoebox sitting in the corner of the drawer. Louis kind of suspects what might
be hidden in there, but has enough respect for Harrys privacy not to check if he is right in his
suspicions.
Dropping his towel on the floor, he bends over slightly and pulls on the pants.
Are you stealing my underwear? Harry questions, voice still rough with sleep, and Louis whips
around so fast he nearly spins an extra round. Harry is sitting up in bed slightly, his weight resting
on his elbows, and hes staring intently at Louis.
Louis is suddenly conscious of the fact that hes near naked and wet in the middle of Harrys
bedroom, and that naught but seconds ago his was bending over, giving Harry a lovely view of
his naked backside. Ahem. Better not think of that.
Shit, Harry, he settles for instead, hand moving to rest over his heart, warm against his naked,
still damp chest, the feeling of his heart beating a mile a minute grounding him to the present. Are
you trying to give me a heart attack?
Sorry. Harry grins easily. How are you feeling today?
Louis takes a moment to answer, picking up the towel from the floor and clutching it in front of
him in a weak attempt to cover up.
Better. Um, yeah. Loads better. And Ive talked to mum, shes expecting us tomorrow.
Harry smiles, small and genuine. Great. Go find some clothes, just take whatever youd like. Ill
get started on breakfast, what do you want?
Eggs. Louis states without a moments hesitation. Benedict, if you dont mind?
Coming right up, love. Harry says as he swings his legs out of bed, exposing the fact thats hes
dressed only in a pair of pants like Louis.
And its just. Louis not blind, okay? And hes not exactly straight either. So he cant really help
but let his eyes travel down Harrys half naked body. And really, everything about Harry is
attractive, from his broad shoulders, to the firm biceps, to the tattoos littering his body. His v-line,
his long legs, his narrow hips. Hes a sight to behold, truly.
Shaking himself mentally, Louis offers Harry a smile that he hopes isnt as visibly strained as it
feels and turns around, facing the dresser again. He pushes in the drawer and is only halfway
surprised when he hears Harrys voice again, calling his name from the doorway of the bedroom.
Hey Lou, hes quiet until Louis turns around, facing him once again. Thanks for the lovely
wake-up view!
And with a cheeky wink and a laugh hes out the door, leaving Louis an embarrassed, blushing
mess.
This time he shakes himself physically as well, before dropping the dirty clothes in Harrys basket,
supposing he wont mind doing it on top of his own. Louis never did his own washing while they
were still living together, if hes being completely honest.
He walks into Harrys small walk-in closet, where hes got most of his clothes stored, and finds
himself a pair of tight trackies Harry seems so fond of and a new t-shirt, as well as a hoodie.
English summer is a tricky one, so Louis figures its probably safest with the hoodie as well.
Pulling on the trackies, he notes how theyre clearly just on the loose side on Harry, since theyre
clinging tightly to Louis thighs. It looks fine, if not a bit silly. Not enough for him to change into
something else though. Of course the legs are far too long for him, so he bends down and rolls up
the cuffs like is custom with him anyway, before pulling on the plain light blue t-shirt, slightly too
big for him, scoop neck allowing a healthy dose of his upper chest and the it is what it is tattoo to
be seen. He slings the black hoodie over one arm, opting to wait to put it on until its necessary.
Its got these white flecks in it that makes it look almost like it sparkles, and Louis seems to
vaguely recall that hes borrowed it from Harry before. So sue him, its comfy, just at that point of
wear where its been used and washed so many times that its gotten soft, and lovely, and
wonderful. And it smells just like Harry, which is a bigger comfort to Louis than it probably
wonderful. And it smells just like Harry, which is a bigger comfort to Louis than it probably
should be.
He doesnt bother to do anything with his hair, leaving it to dry by itself. Instead he makes his way
downstairs, moving into Harrys kitchen where the younger man is standing by the stove, his bare
back to Louis. Hes still only in his pants because hes Harry and honestly, Louis would probably
have been more shocked if hed put on clothes. Anyway, two can play Harrys game, Louis
decides, as he sneaks closer to him, careful not to alert him of his presence.
Harry seems to be entirely in his own world, watching the two pans on the hob like a hawk whilst
humming one of the songs from their new album (Louis song, fuck, the one Louis wrote all by
himself).
Louis doesnt dwell on it, instead hooking his thumb into the elastic band of Harrys underwear.
He pulls it back and lets it snap Harrys backside, prompting a startled squeak from him.
Cooking in your pants, Styles? Louis questions, moving to stand next to him. Seems highly
unsanitary, if you ask me.
Shit, Lou, Harry breathes, holding his hand to his heart. Bloody hell, you scared the shit out of
me! Hasnt your mother taught you not to sneak up on people?
Hasnt your mother taught you to wear clothes? Louis counters, as Harry fiddles with the food
hes cooking.
Hasnt your mother taught you to ask before you borrow? Harry asks with a pointed look at
Louis crotch.
Louis does not blush. He does not.
Thought youd appreciate the sleep, is all, he says instead.
Harry softens instantly, goes from playful to fond in the beat of a heart.
I dont want you to ever have to ask. Whats mine is yours.
Louis snorts. I think that only goes for married people, love. Were not going quite that far with
this farce.
Harrys dimples deepen, Counts for us too, I think. Cmere. He reaches his arm around Louis
shoulder and pulls him into himself, Louis ending up with his head nestled into Harrys neck. He
grunts at the impact, but adjusts himself so that hes got his head gently resting on Harrys
shoulder, his hand placed on the bare skin of his lower back. If he briefly wonders how itd feel to
slide his hand lower, well, can you really blame him?
Need me to do anything? He asks after their semi-hug has lasted a few moments.
Harrys hums a bit in reply before indicating in the direction of one of his cupboards. Toast the
muffins, yeah?
Louis nods and extracts himself from Harry. Of course. Giving Harry a meaningful glance he
adds, You ought to put on some clothes too.
Harry grins in response. In due time, dear.
Louis shakes his head, perfectly aware of the fact that he wont put on clothes before he deems it
strictly necessary. They work in companionable silence as they somehow manage to finish
breakfast, Louis toasting the muffins and Harry doing everything else. Its an unfair division of
work if anything, but Louis knows he doesnt mind, and its probably for the best anyhow.
Definitely for the best.
When its done and Harrys plated it up, while Louis got a jug of juice from the fridge and made
them tea, they sit down to eat in the kitchen. Its delicious, easily Louis favourite breakfast, and
the fact that Harry bothered to take his time to make it warms his heart, honestly.
I was thinking, Louis says eventually. He takes a sip from his mug, the tea having reached the
perfect temperature for drinking. That maybe we should swing by your mums on our way back?
We could leave my mums on Wednesday afternoon and stop at my grandparents and Marks
before driving to Holmes Chapel, and then stay until either Thursday evening or early Friday
morning? Thatd still give us enough time before were flying Friday afternoon, right?
Harrys quiet for a moment, simply watching him, and Louis nearly grows self-conscious,
wonders if he overstepped some line he wasnt even aware was there. But then Harry smiles this
strange smile that he cant quite place, though it seems genuine. He looks down briefly before
meeting Louis eyes. ThatdId really like that, Louis.
Louis beams. Great. Thats great, Haz. Its been ages since Ive seen them. Have you told them
whats been going on?
Harry sighs and runs his hand through his hair, pushing it back. Its unstyled, hanging across his
forehead like the fringe he used to sport. It makes Louis oddly nostalgic for the younger Harry.
Not my mum. Went to lunch with Gemma a few days ago and filled her in. Ive, uhwell, Ive
been trying to stall with my mum, to be honest. I wasnt really sure what shed say, you know?
And I thought I should try to tell her in person, anyhow. He shrugs and turns back to his
breakfast, eating the last of his eggs.
Louis is quiet for a moment, digesting the fact that Harry actually prioritized going with Louis to
Doncaster, even though he knew it would mean that he couldnt go see his own mum before they
left for the States.
Louis is so, so fond of him.
Ring her up, yeah? Ill deal with the dishes.
Harry raises his brow, but all Louis does is grin before shooing him out of the kitchen, calling a
teasing And put on some clothes! after him.
He finishes his tea and rinses off the plates in the sink, before placing it all in the dishwasher and
putting the butter and juice back in the fridge. When hes done he moves to the living room,
settling on the sofa and turning on the TV. Theres nothing on really, so he settles for reruns of
some old HBO show, not really paying attention anyway.
By the time Harry makes his way into the living room, plopping down on the sofa next to him,
Louis has pulled out his phone and is idly making his way through twitter.
The pics of us from yesterday are up, Louis says, looking up from his phone and noting that
Harry has put on clothes finally.
The ones from the street?
Louis nods. Yeah, fans are in a proper strut about it. Got about a million are you and Harry
together? mentions.
I suppose our tweets yesterday only added fuel to the fire.
Oh, absolutely. S what it was supposed to do, wasnt it, though?
Yeah, Harry says, leaning back against the sofa and resting his head on the back of it.
A mischievous smile crosses Louis face. May as well stir the pot some more, eh?
A slow grin forms on Harrys face. What do you have in mind?
Louis shrugs, Nothing big. Another selfie, maybe? Ill tweet it this time, assure them all that Im
quite fine and you are taking good care of me.
Harry grins and scoots closer to Louis. How do I look? Presentable, eh?
His hair is up in a quiff again, a solid reminder that Harry is definitely not seventeen anymore.
You look great, Haz. Louis says honestly, making him beam. Louis is very conscious of the fact
that his own hair is still half wet and lacks any kind of styling, so he scoots forward on the sofa
and puts on Harrys hoodie. He pushes his hair back and draws up the hood, keeping it fastened
there, before turning to Harry and grinning. Presentable?
Harry shrugs, smile still present. Was before, is now.
Thanks, pal. Solid compliment, that.
Harry laughs and leans into Louis side as Louis rests his weight against the back of the sofa
again. Ready when you are.
Louis hums and opens the camera app on his phone, trying to find a good angle. Hes not working
out too well for him, though, so he draws back his arm and hands Harry the phone.
Think youve got a better angle, he states as Harry accepts the phone.
The younger boy nods before extracting his arm. He has the phone turned horizontally, and Louis
is about to correct him, when the sound of the shutter goes off.
Harry gives Louis his hone back, and Louis checks the photo quickly before deeming it
presentable. He pulls up twitter on his phone, and makes quick work of tweeting something
random before attaching the photo and releasing it to the world:
And from then on out they just sort of float from one activity to the next for the rest of the day,
never making a conscious decision to spend it together, but doing so anyhow. It is always just so
easy with Harry, Louis never has to worry about filling the silence or coming up with something
to do, or constantly being on edge about presenting himself right. Its Harry, and with him more
than with anyone, Louis is allowed to be one hundred and ten percent himself. Its liberating.
Always. Still. The novelty will probably never wear off, to be honest.
They only take a break in their day of doing absolutely nothing when their lawyers stop by with
the contracts for their arrangement, needing their signatures. They get it over with as quickly as
possible, trying not to linger too much on paragraphs about appearances, and renewal times and
such.
When theyre nearing dinner time Louis finally has to come to terms with the fact that he really
ought to return to his own house and pack up his stuff in order to be ready for tomorrow. When he
voices this thought out loud though, the younger man frowns, biting his bottom lip before looking
down, idly playing with a loose thread from one of the pillows occupying the sofa.
I could come with you, if youd like? Harry says, voice quieter than normal, and then, before
Louis has the time to form any kind of response, I mean, itd be nice, yeah? If youre not sick of
my company, that is. And itd make it easier tomorrow, if I was already at your place, wouldnt it?
Since were leaving early, I mean.
He looks like hes about to continue for a moment, but Louis starts speaking before he gets the
chance. Sounds brilliant, Haz. Hurry up, go pack, we can pick up some takeaway on the way to
my house.
Harrys answer is a beam before hes bounding up the stairs, shouting at Louis over his shoulder,
Anything in particular I need to bring?
Louis follows him at a more normal tempo, taking the stairs one at a time as he contemplates
Harrys question.
Clothes. I dont know. Toiletries. A book? Your purple jumper!
Youve grown awfully fond of that jumper.
Louis shrugs, not bothering to deny it. Its comfortable.
Harry shakes his head fondly but grabs it anyway and stuffs it into his bag.
When Harrys pulling out underwear from his dresser, Louis is hit with an onset of sudden
inspiration. Bring one of your headscarves too!
Confused, Harry looks back at him over his shoulder and raises an eyebrow. Why?
Louis shrugs. I like them on you, and you havent worn one in months, years, lifetimes!
Harry laughs and opens the next drawer, pulling out a scarf and holding it out to Louis.
Tie it in?
Louis nods mutely and steps up behind Harry, taking the scarf from his outstretched hand. They
used to do this sometimes, have Louis do Harrys hair. Usually when he was stressed out or high
strung, itd always seemed to calm him down, one run through of Louis hand in his hair sending
him into a blissful haze.
He runs his hands through Harrys quickly put up quiff, which has lost its grandeur somewhat
during the day. When he deems it sufficiently ready (and Harry sufficiently tactile, his shoulders
slumped as he seems to fight an eternal battle not to sink back into Louis), he ties the scarf into
Harrys curls like hes done so many times before. Its been years since hes done it last, but its
like riding a bike, muscle memory, something that just sits in his fingers to the degree where it
demands no thought or proper effort.
He spins Harry around so hes facing him and fusses over the curls framing his face. And its
stupid, because theyre just going back to Louis and no one is going to see them, but its nice. Its
comforting, and comfortable, and nice.
There. Louis says as hes done, giving one of his curls one last tug, harder than necessary,
probably. Harrys eyes flutter, and, well, interesting.
Thanks. Harry says, voice rough as though it hasnt been used in a while. Louis nods and steps
back, places himself on Harrys bed as he get the last things he needs stuffed into the bag. Once
hes packed all that Louis assumes he deems necessary, he slings the bag over his shoulder and
nods at Louis.
Done. He states. Lets go yeah, Im starving.
Being very hungry himself, Louis is extraordinarily on board with that idea.

They pop by a pub near Louis place and bring back enough fish and chips to feed half an army,
devouring it as soon as they step foot in Louis kitchen as though they havent been fed in years.
By the time theyre done, Louis is suggesting they watch a film while Harry looks at him
meaningfully and insists that he needs to pack first.
Louis agrees reluctantly, knowing that Harrys got a point. It ends up being Harry who packs up
most of his stuff anyway.
Once both of their bags are packed and ready for departure, they get ready for bed and climb into
Louis, putting on a film that Louis only gets halfway through before hes asleep. Hes asleep by
ten, and he doesnt think his sleep pattern has been this normal since he joined One Direction.

The next morning passes in a blur of getting ready and not forgetting anything, before theyre on
the road by eight oclock. Harry tells him hes scheduled for Grimshaw to call at nine oclock.
Louis hums in recognition, but otherwise stays quiet and focuses on driving. Theyve left Harrys
car at Louis place and are sitting comfortably beside each other listening, ironically, to the Radio
1 Breakfast Show.
Louis has always liked driving a lot, finding the mechanical motions of pushing the pedals and
shifting the gear stick oddly therapeutic. It can be such a monotonous task, driving, at least once
youre out of the hassle of London, but it also always provides such a brilliant opportunity for
thinking, just allowing your thoughts to wander, and having the time and quiet to ponder the
things that have been weighing down on you. Now, Louis has the time to think about what hes
going to tell his family, something hed wholly avoided thinking about ever since he realised that
theyd be public, meaning everyone and their grandma would know, meaning his family would
know, meaning fuck.
He gets lost in his own mind, entirely unaware of what Harrys doing next to him as his focus is
on driving and his thoughts on his family. He doesnt even consider how much time has passed,
until hes soon startled by the sound of Harrys phone going off.
Thats Grimmy, Harry says, smiling oddly at him. Im gonna put him on speaker, yeah?
Louis only manages to nod before Harrys turned off the radio and is pushing the screen of his
iPhone.
Hello? Harry says, and Louis concentrates on driving. Just on driving, yes. Important that,
keeping your eyes on the road etc. etc.
Hullo Harold, dear, comes Nicks reply through the speaker. Louis is cool, so cool totally
unbothered really, he should get a fucking prize for how unbothered he is. Harold, Jesus. Youre
on speaker here, so say hi to all our listeners.
Even without looking at him Louis can tell Harrys smiling that big dimply smile, and so what.
Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! He says, dragging out the word in that way that has come to be incarnated Harry
to Louis.
So what are you up to this fine Tuesday morning, if we may ask?
Um, Harry says, yeah, um, Im on the road, actually.
Talking and driving, my my, what a bad example you lead. Dont do that at home kids!
Louis can see Harry shaking his head out of the corner of his eyes, smile fond, before replying,
Im not the one driving, dont worry. Strapped safely into the passenger seat, me. Seatbelt on,
very important.
Indeed it is. Good boy! Where to then? Grimmy asks, and Louis can hear some sort of
commotion coming from his end, but its too vague to make out what it is. He is not bothered by
their friendly banter or pet names. Hes not. Hes known for a long time now that Harry was
probably as close to Nick as he was to Louis himself, and while it sucks, Louis is not so much a
five-year old that he doesnt know that he has no right to be mad or resent Harry for it. Really he
should just be glad Harrys kept him in his life at all.
Im going up north actually, yeah. Harry answers, putting a stop to Louis pity-party. He
chances a look at Harry, and finds him smiling softly at him, eyes locked on Louis.
Up north, eh? Grimmy asks, and Louis can practically hear his smirk through the speaker.
Thats totally a thing, hearing smirks. Going to visit the family?
Uhm, Harry says, hesitating just a second too long. Whoever said he wasnt a good actor must
have never seen him in action like this. Its fucking flawless as far as being convincing goes.
Something like that, yeah.
Louis is startled out of listening to Harry and Grimmy when the car in front of them suddenly
brakes hard, forcing Louis to do the same in order to avoid crashing into them. What the fuck?
Louis mutters, breathing in deep to settle his wildly beating heart.
Everything okay? Louis hears Grimmy ask, as theyre moving towards regular speed again.
Yeah, Harry says, somewhat breathless. Louis doesnt think it transfers to the radio though,
which is good, yeah. Harrys squeezes Louis thigh, his broad hand sprawled across it, and what?
When, what, why? Louis doesnt recall Harry placing it there, but he keeps it resting on his thigh,
and he cant say he minds. Its childish, but its sort of nice thats Harrys mind is on him, even
when hes speaking with Grimmy.
Louis is so awfully selfish when it comes to Harry. Would prefer to have him all to himself, all the
time. It had been a bitter pill to swallow, when hed had to come to terms with the fact that Harry
was the kind of person who had many good friends, many best friends. Louis had had a monopoly
on Harrys affections for so long, and when Grimmy had come along new and exciting and
older and gay Harry had been instantly charmed. It wasnt that hed ever left Louis behind; it
was just more that he sort of divided himself. There was Louis Harry, and then there was the
Harry who hung out with all his cool, cool friends. Louis couldnt always unite the two, and it had
bothered him, had made him question if maybe he was the one who was holding Harry back, who
was forcing him to be a version of himself that was no longer there. Keeping him a prisoner in the
past.
He had been too scared of what he might find out if he asked back then, so hed never dared to.
Content somewhat to keep Harry close for as long as he got to. With time hed realized that maybe
he had been flawed in his way of thinking, but hed still not dared to broach the topic with Harry,
in light of recent event, Louis feels maybe he should reconsider.
The car in front of us just hit the brakes out of nowhere, so Lo- we had to do a bit of emergency
braking. No worries, all good.
And, justHarrys near slip, fucking brilliant. Couldnt have been better if theyd actually
planned and rehearsed it. Clever, clever boy. Louis is proud, kind of.
Louis puts his full attention on driving, vaguely aware of Harry telling Nick about their upcoming
album, tour, and the performance at the TCAs; promo stuff. They wrap it up soon enough, and
Harrys turns his attention to Louis.
How was that? Louis doesnt turn towards him, but he knows with a hundred percent certainty
that Harrys biting his lower lip.
Louis face splits into a grin. Fucking brilliant, he says, eyes still on the road. So fucking
brilliant, love. Whoever said you were a terrible actor should hear that and eats his own words.
Yeah?
Absolutely.
Good. Harrys phone alerts them that hes gotten a text message, and its a moment before
Harry speaks again. Its from Grimmy. Tells me that I should be more careful if I dont want
people to know Im with you. Apparently Twitter and Tumblr are blowing up with speculation
that I was going to say your name, and that it was your voice that was heard in the background.
Louis finds himself smiling, satisfied. Good.
Yeah, Grimmy wants to know what the deal is.
You havent told him? Louis asks, honestly surprised. Hed have thought Harry would have
divulged the details of their arrangement to Grimmy ages ago.
No. Harry says, voice oddly quiet. I was kinda of thinking maybe Id not? It comes out as a
question, though Louis suspects it wasnt supposed to.
Oh. Is all he can think to say at first. Well, its up to you. But I wouldnt be annoyed. Like, if
you wanted to tell him. Hes your best friend, I get that. I get why youd want him to know.
Stopping at a red light, Louis turns his head to face Harry.
What? The younger man asks, seeming honestly surprised. Grimmys not my best friend. I
mean, were good friends, sure, but. Like, I have plenty of good friends. But. Louis. Youre my
best friend. Youve always been my best friend.
Oh. Oh.
And its not that its a surprise. Not really. Its more that hes just always sort of figured that they
shared that, him and Grimmy.
Louis. You must have known that. Grimmy, itsweve Its never been the same as it is with
us.
And, wow, that plants wholly unpleasant new images in Louis mind because, not the same. Not
the same. What does that even mean? And suddenly thoughts that hed passed off as ridiculous
ages ago seem totally plausible. Were Harry and Grimmy ever more than friends? Are they more
than friends? No, at least the last one isnt possible, he wouldnt be here with Harry right now if it
were. But before? Why not?
The words are out of his mouth before he even has the time to contemplate them, and as is well
known, once its out there, theres no taking it back.
Have you and Grimmy ever you know? I mean, were you ever more? Yeah. Louis kind of
wouldnt mind if the ground opened up and swallowed him right about now.
No! Jesus, Lou, I wouldve told you if we were, like, Id never keep something like that from
you! And now youre keeping this from Grimmy, Louis thinks but doesnt say. Its not the same
though, Louis reminds himself, because they arent in a relationship, him and Harry. Pretend. Its
all just pretend. Not even that. Right now its really just the build-up to the pretence. Fuck.
I know he wanted to. Harry continues, and, well, honestly Louis could have told him that. It had
been painstakingly obvious how much Grimshaw had wanted Harry. How they managed to be
friends despite that was beyond him. But I... I guess I was never there, I dont know. I mean, Ive
never been interested in him that way. Grimmys lovely, but I-- He always said it was because I
was never emotionally available, and I suppose thats not all wrong. The last part comes out as
though it was just for laughs, but something tells Louis that hes only half joking. Fuck if it makes
any sense to Louis though.
A car honks the horn behind them, startling Louis back to reality. Right. Driving. Green means go
and all that. Right.
He gets the car moving again, trying to make sense of all thats just been said between them. One
thing stands out.
Youre my best friend too, you know. Louis says matter-of-factly. It sounds so childish, this
emphasis on friends and good friends and best friends, but the truth is undeniable. My very best,
Harry. Like, sometimes it seems like a wholly inadequate way of describing what you are. My
favourite person.
Next thing he feels is Harrys lips on the place his upper arm meets his shoulder. The contact
lingers for a moment before Harry pulls back slightly, moves to rest his forehead against it, and
finally, pulls back entirely.
This isnt gonna be that bad, is it? Harry asks quietly.
Not bad at all. Louis smiles and reaches out his hand, blindly groping for Harrys. Upon finding
it, he intertwines their fingers.
They stay like that for the rest of the drive.

Its a bit more than a three hour drive, and they drive it without stopping, so when they pull up in
Louis mothers driveway at half eleven, his legs and back feel cramped. Its absolutely amazing
to stretch them, and he lets out a sound of satisfaction as he stretches his entire body, swaying his
back.
The door to the house swings open to reveal his mother, just as he and Harry are pulling their bags
out of the boot of the car.
Louis! She exclaims, throwing her arms wide, smile big on her face. Harry!
Hello, Jay. Harry smiles as he picks up both his and Louis bags and makes his way to her.
Louis watches the exchange from beside the car, transfixed by the sight of his mum and Harry
clutching each other tightly.
When he finally makes his way to them, his mum is still holding Harry tightly against her,
swaying slightly. She finally draws back, holding him at arms length and taking in his appearance.
My God, Jay says, eyes seeming suspiciously bright. Look at you, dear. So grown up. I still
remember when you were a curly little boy. Shorter than Louis, can you imagine?
Louis huffs. Nice to know you still remember that I exist at least. Dont I get a hug and a hi?
Hes smiling though, which he thinks probably somewhat diminishes his insulted act.
Course you do, love. His mother smiles, drawing him into a tight hug. Ive missed you. She
kisses his cheek before drawing all the way back and continuing, But I havent seen Harry
properly in, oh, years. Anyway, its lovely to have you both here. Come on in, the girls are
upstairs, though I doubt theyll have heard you arrive with the volume of the music they insist on
blasting day in and day out.
Its fine. Louis says, as he makes his way into the house after Harry and his mum. We need to
talk to you first anyhow, without the girls overhearing.
Jay eyes them with this odd look on her face as they take off their shoes and Harry sets down their
bags by the stairs. Okay, she says, nodding her head in affirmation, Right. Well go into the
TV room, yeah?
Louis nods and follows his mum as she moves further into the house. Harrys walking behind
him, and he feels his hand come to rest on his shoulder, squeezing slightly. Hes suddenly hit by
how hes just so, so grateful that Harry offered to come with him, he doesnt know how hed do
this without him.
Once theyre all seated Jay across from Harry and Louis, whore sitting next to each other
Louis finds that he doesnt even know where to start, despite the many hours hes spent
contemplating what to say.
So, Jay finally breaks the ice. I assume theres a reason youve brought Harry, love? She
smiles at Louis kindly, and he feels some of the dread hes been feeling leave his body. This is his
mum theyre talking about, shes never been anything but supportive, and shes not going to be
anything but either.
Louis feels Harrys hand rest on the middle of his back, stroking softly. He smiles at his mum.
Well, um, were sort of doing what I swore Id never do after the whole Eleanor thing, um
He trails off, unsure how to continue, aware of what a shit job hes doing of explaining.
Theyve suggested we pretend to be in a relationship for publicity reasons. Harry says, his hand
on Louis back a grounding presence. And we know its not ideal, but, well, we really need all
the PR we can get. So we agreed to do it.
Jay looks between them for a moment, seemingly stunned by what theyre saying. So what
youre saying, she starts slowly, Is that youll be pretending to be in a relationship? The two of
you. And thats what the last few weeks have been a prelude to?
Yeah, Louis says softly, quietly. Yeah. Mum, I know its not ideal, I know things became
really bad with the Eleanor situation towards the end, but its not the same, I promise. Its not
nearly the same with Harry. And coming out hasnt really been anything Ive been over the moon
about doing, but I think, you know, I dont wanna hide anymore. And I want my sisters to know
who I am. I want I dont want to lie about who I am anymore, mum.
Okay. Jay reaches across the gap between them and takes Louis hand in her own. Of course,
poppet, Ill support you no matter what. I think its lovely that youll have each other through this,
you and Harry. But love, I dont think its a good idea to tell the girls, Im sorry.
No, no, mum. I know we cant tell the girls that its all a sham, but, well, like this, that Im gay,
its such a massive part of who I am that they dont know, and I He trails off, exhausted
suddenly.
Okay, okay, Boo. I get that. Anything I can do to help you, just say so. If you need me to tweet
Harry incessantly or, I dont know, anything. Just say the word, yeah. And Harry, if theres
anything you need from us, just let me know. And feel at home while youre here, yeah? I know
its a long time since youve been here, and it must be odd with the girls, but let me know if
theres anything, yeah? Im gonna tell the girls youre here, so you have a moment to yourselves
before that. She gets up, and before she moves to leave the room she hugs the both of them close
to her chest again. Louis would deny it in any interview, but being in his mothers arms is still so,
so comforting, even after nearly twenty-five years of living.
She stops when she reaches the door and turns around. Louis, her voice is quiet, sad. Im sorry
it has to be like this. Sorry you can never just be one hundred percent true about who you are here.
Im sorry. And before Louis has time to reassure her thats shes got nothing to feel sorry for, that
its not her fault, before he can even say anything, shes out of the door.
Louis sags against Harry, leaning all his weight on him and tugging his head into his neck. Harry
puts his arms around him, tugs him close, close, closer. Its not the same as being in his mothers
arms, can never be compared, but its still good, and safe, and comforting. Its home.
You shouldnt make a person your home, his mum once told him, and Louis thinks that its typical
of him to have ended up doing so anyway, never good at taking orders no matter the
circumstances. So typical of him not only to make a home out of a person, but to make a home out
of a friend. Someone who will always be there, but not always be there. Not physically. Louis is
an idiot, but what else is new.
Ready to face your sisters? Harry asks, his voice naught but a whisper, like speaking above will
shatter the tranquillity theyve created between them.
No. Louis says honestly, How are we even going to break this to them? Why didnt we talk
about this? What am I going to even say?
Harry sneaks his arm between them, taking Louis hand in his. Showing rather than telling,
maybe?
Louis huffs out a laugh against Harrys collarbone. Its a place to start, I suppose. He says.
Cmon, we better get out there.
They dont let go of each others hands as they make their way to face Louis siblings.
Lottie is the first to spot them, faltering in her greeting as she sees their clasped hands.
Taking in a deep breath Louis readies himself, clutching Harrys hand impossibly tight, his palm
sweaty and gross against Harrys. He doesnt complain, the saint.
Girls, he says, relieved that his voice is at least steady. Like ripping off a plaster, he reminds
himself. Okay. Here goes nothing. Id like to introduce you to Harry. My boyfriend.
The silence that follows borders on ridiculous. It seems that hes stunned the Tomlinsons into
silence, and, well, its a little bit impressive that. Louis has nothing if not a flair for dramatic
timing.
Lottie soon recovers enough to turn around, grab her jacket, and walk out of the door.
So maybe Louis could have dealt with that one a bit better.
Harry squeezes Louis hand again, before addressing Jay. Do you mind if I-- he inclines his
head towards the front door where Lottie just disappeared. She shakes her head, and Harry plants
a kiss on Louis temple before letting go of his hand and setting off after Lottie.
Once hes out of the door, Louis turn his attention back to his sisters Fizzie, Daisy, and Phoebe
are standing there, Doris and Ernest not in sight.
Is that you coming out to us, Louis? Fizzie asks, raising a perfectly groomed eyebrow.
Um, Louis stammers, scratching the nape of his neck like a bloody cartoon figure. Yes?
She shakes her head, but steps closer to him nonetheless, clutching him tightly to her chest. He
sinks into the hug, holding her tightly against him and leaning his head on top of hers. Fuck.
Words cannot describe how much he needed this. Soon hes enveloped by two pairs of small
arms, one on each side of him, clutching him close. He moves his hands from around Fizzie to
hold each of the twins and locks eyes with his mother. She shakes her head at him, but the smile
on her face in impossible to mistake. Louis thinks he might even spot tears in her eyes, but hes
sure shed deny that within an inch of her life, if he commented on it.
The twins are too young to understand, he knows, dont remember how it had been with Eleanor,
how vehemently hed had to deny gay rumours, rumours of him and Harry. They would stand
here hugging him under all circumstances. But Fizzie, she could be just as angry as Lottie, would
have every right to be just as angry as Lottie. Itd make sense. So much sense. But shes here,
God, shes here. And that means so, so much.
Daisy, Pheebs, how about helping me make a snack for when Harry and Lottie get back, yeah?
His mum interrupts their mini cuddle, and Louis knows shes giving him time to talk to Fizzie
alone.
The twins agree eagerly, at that age where doing everything in the kitchen is fun fun fun.
Can we bake a cake? Daisy asks excitedly, untangling herself from Louis.
Chocolate is Harrys favourite. Louis pipes in, a small smile on his lips.
Chocolate is your favourite, you dunce. Fizzie grins, and smacks his shoulder. Its great.
So? He laughs. Chocolate is a lot of peoples favourite. Probably like most people in the
worlds favourite, squirt.
Jay shakes her head. Come on, girls. Well bake a carrot cake, I seem to remember Harry had
quite a fondness for that one. She smirks at Louis, and shes right, but shes also an evil, evil
woman.
Come on. Fizzie says, tugging Louis in the direction of the stairs. They dont speak as they
climb them or as theyre making their way down the hall. After entering Fizzies room, Louis sits
himself down on her bed and waits for her to talk.
Were you always together? She finally asks, after the two of them have sat next to each other in
silence for several moments. Back then, I mean. Larry Stylinson and all that, was it all true? I
mean, Ive read their masterposts and stuff, and it makes sense, Lou. It does. Like the tattoos and
all these weird coincidences, and Eleanor. Like, I loved Eleanor, and I dont think I could see it
back then, but reading about it later, it made sense what they said. It did seem odd, the way you
were. So was itwere you? Like, a couple. All these years?
No. Louis says, shaking his head. No. We werent. II see where youre coming from, Fizz, I
do. I mean, I get that it makes sense, Im not stupid. Harry and I have always been closer than
close, but not like that. We got together bit more than a year ago. And I know its shit of me not
telling you before now, but I just I wanted to know that we were solid first, you know. Harry
and I needed time to figure out who we were as a couple, how it differed and how it was the same
as being best friends. Louis doesnt know where all of this is coming from, but Fizzie seems to be
buying it and Louis is simultaneously relieved and feeling like the worlds biggest arsehole at the
same time. Were coming out soon. Properly. Officially. Like to the whole world, really being
together, the whole deal. So, yeah, I wanted you guys to know first, but I didnt know how to tell
you, you know?
Im happy for you. Fizzie says, looking at him earnestly. You seem happy, so Im glad you
dont have to hide this anymore from us, or from anyone.
Yeah, Louis breathes, me too. Hes surprised to find that he has come to mean it.
What about Eleanor? Were you ever together?
For a couple of months, yeah, Louis says, honestly. Like, for the first four months we were in a
genuine relationship, but then it turned into a PR-stunt pretty quickly after that. Im notIm gay,
Fizz, and, like, it took me a long time to come to terms with that, it really did, but Im not going to
hide it anymore, so you deserve to know.
Im glad you told me. She says, turning to hug Louis tight. It always felt a bit like you were
holding yourself back, like we knew you, but we didnt really know you at all.
Im sorry. He tells her, and he is.
Its okay. Quiet. Were here now, arent we?
Yeah. We are.
Louis doesnt know how long they stay like that, cuddling. All he knows is that hes never felt this
close to Fizzie before. Not since he left home for the X Factor all those years ago.
They dont separate until they spot Harry and Lottie standing in the door. Louis stomach turns
into knots upon seeing the tear tracks on his sisters face.
Hey, Harry, Fizzie says, getting up from the bed as he and Lottie step into the room, Wanna go
look at baby photos of Louis?
Harry grins, easy and relaxed; like the situation isnt so fucking tense you could cut it with a blunt
knife. Theres literally nothing I want more, love. He tells her as hes all the way into the room,
Lottie still lingering near the door. He turns himself to Louis, his face hidden from sight of any of
the girls. He is smiling softly, mouths an its okay to him, and Louis loves him so fucking much.
Thank you he mouths back, and Harry smiles again, leans into him. For a second Louis thinks
hell really kiss him, and, to be honest, hes not too sure hed mind all that much. Instead, he kisses
the corner of Louis mouth.
Cmon. Harry says as he draws back from him, avoiding making direct eye contact with him.
He grins brightly at Fizzie and slings his arms around her shoulders. Those baby photos, eh? Is
he naked?
Fizzies bright laugh follows them out until its only Louis and Lottie left.
For a moment theyre both silent.
Why didnt you ever tell me? Lottie finally asks. Didnt you trust me? I defended you, Louis.
All those people telling El that you werent real, I defended you and it turns out they were right all
along. Why? Why didnt you trust me? Why couldnt I know?
Louis is fucking broken. Shattered into a million pieces, surely. Certainly it cant be possible to
feel as awful as Louis does right now and still be whole.
Im sorry! Heartfelt. Honest. You were just. Lottie. You were so young. And I was so
confused. I could barely admit it to myself or mum. Im sorry. I dont know what to tell you, Lots.
I dont know how to make it better, I dont know. I just. Im so sorry. I never meant to hurt you,
you have to believe that. I just didnt want to include you in the lie. I didnt want to force you to
lie, to constantly be on your guard about what you were saying. Sometimes ignorance is bliss,
Lottie. Im sorry, I dont know what else to tell you. I wish there was something I could tell you to
make it better. And maybe I shouldnt have sprung it on you like this, but I just, I didnt know
how else to say it.
And Im lying to you right now. Doing the exact same as I did with Eleanor. I should tell you
everything, I should, but I cant.
Next thing he knows hes got an armful of Lottie.
Im sorry. She mumbles into his neck. I shouldnt have run out like that I was just surprised
and hurt. But Im happy for you, Louis. Really. And youre lucky to have Harry, hes such a nice
guy.
Yeah, Louis laughs, holding her close. See if he ever lets her go again, ha. Theyll have to pry
them apart with a crowbar if Louis got any say in it. Tell me about it.
Lottie laughs into his shoulder. Youre really good together.
Thank you, Louis breathes, and the sting of his current betrayal is only a dull pain. I love you
lots and lots, Lots.
He can feel her shake her head. Youre an idiot. But I love you too.
And just whats that feeling? Relief. Relief is definitely whats coursing through Louis right
about now. Because, not that hed expected any of them to stop, but yeah, hes a little bit
relieved.

Later that day, after cake and conversation, after filling in Dan and fawning over Doris and Ernest,
after dinner and its usual commotion, theyre all sitting in the living room, a film playing on the
telly, though few are actually watching.
Louis and Harry are in the big armchair, Louis sitting in Harrys lap, curled into him. Theyve
done an extraordinary job at playing the couple so far, if Louis has to say so himself. Like, not to
brag or anything, but if he had become a drama teacher, hed definitely have given them an A+.
Double plus. Triple plus. All the pluses really.
One by one, Louis family excuses themselves to go to bed, until its just him and Harry
remaining.
Thank you. Louis mutters, pressing his lips to the soft skin where Harrys neck connects with
his shoulder. I dont know what you told Lottie, but thank you.
I didnt I just told her the truth, really. She was just hurt. And theres nothing you need to
thank me for.
Thank you.
Harry shakes his head in fond exasperation. Youre welcome. Quiet. Was was it okay?
Louis lifts his head, peering up at him. Was what okay?
Thewell, itd be a bit of a cop-out to call it a kiss, but in Fizzies room, was that okay? I
didnt want to, like, overstep any borders. I know we havent really talked about it. The physical
contact, I mean.
Dont be stupid, Haz. Of course it was all right. And, like, its probably something we should
talk about, right? Those aspects. Because its all fine and stuff with the touching and the holding
hands and being close, because thats what weve always done, but, yeah. We should talk about
kissing and stuff, probably.
Kissing and stuff? Harry questions, smirk present on his face.
Louis groans, before dipping down and biting Harrys collarbone. Hard.
Harry lets out a squeak of surprise and then a hiss.
Louis pulls back, smirk now on his face, before he shifts a bit in Harrys lap, trying to get back
into a comfortable position.
Dont. Harry says, warns. He clutches Louis hip to warn him, and, stilling, Louis looks up at
him, an eyebrow raised in question. He takes in the sight of Harry in front of him, who is slightly
flushed, pupils wide, and puts two and two together.
He ghosts his thumbs over the faint bite mark on Harrys collarbone and smiles softly. Like it
rough, do you?
Were not talking about this, Louis.
Thought we were talking about kissing and stuff? Louis quotes.
Doubt theyll ask us to shag in public or make a porno, mate. I dont think its necessary to
discuss our preferences in bed. And, oh, Louis realises, Harrys is embarrassed. For as much as
hes open and unashamed, this is apparently a part of himself that he doesnt feel comfortable
sharing with anyone, not even Louis. Its suddenly so, so important to let him know that hes got
nothing to be ashamed of.
Hey, he says, tilting Harrys head, forcing the younger man to look him in the eyes. No
judgement here, love. I like plenty of rough stuff in bed. Im all for a little biting. Hell, anyone
whos not is totally missing out.
Harry smiles at that, laughs a little, rests his forehead against Louis. Lets stick to talk about
kissing for now, eh?
Well, Louis says, deciding to throw caution to the wind. Its not really going to be our first, is
it?
Harrys quiet for several moments, eyes wide and looking straight into Louis. What? IYou-- I
didnt think you remembered that. He says finally, whispers.
I lied.
Iwhy?
Louis smiles wryly. You were a boy, Harry. I dont know if you recall, but I had a bit of a hard
time coming to terms with the fact that boys are the gender Id prefer to kiss.
Harry shakes his head, seeming almost in a daze. I cant believe you remember. Fuck. Louis, you
absolute arse. Here Ive been walking around for years feeling like, years, Lou! - all weird
about the fact that weve kissed and you didnt even remember. Shit.
Louis laughs, and its maybe not the best reaction, but how could he not. Everything about them is
just ridiculous. It doesnt take long for Harry to join in.
I think we should just wing it, Louis says eventually, once their laughter has subsided. Like,
the kissing. We dont want it to seem staged, so just whenever it feels like a natural moment for it,
yeah? Weve got time before its necessary, anyhow.
Yeah, Harry agrees. Yeah, that sounds fine, like. Yeah, fine.
Hmm, Louis hums, nuzzling into Harrys embrace. How many points of manliness would I
lose if I asked you to carry me to bed now?
Harry laughs, quiet and private like its only for Louis. Dunno, love. Are you sure I can even
carry you?
That earns Harry a slap on the shoulder. Are you calling me fat, Styles?
Louis can feel how Harrys chuckle vibrate in his chest. Its oddly comforting. I wouldnt dare.
Cmon. And with that he gets up with Louis in his arms, demonstrating far more grace than
Louis had ever thought he was capable of possessing.
He may or may not let out a squeak of surprise, the jurys still out on that one.
Hey! He protests as Harry starts walking towards the stairs.
Hmm, Harry contemplates. No. Definitely not fat. Perfect size Id say, actually.
Louis laughs into his shoulder. Youre an idiot, he tells Harry, one hundred percent truthful.
Now put me down before you ruin your back, you oaf.
Harry complies and places him gently on the first step of the stairs, causing them to stand eye-to-
eye.
No, Harry says, grinning, Still every bit as manly as before.
It takes Louis a moment to catch on before he finds himself grinning. Its the beard, isnt it? he
asks, scratching his chin where the week worth of stubble sits.
Probably, yeah, Harry admits, running his thumb over Louis chin. I like the beard.
Yeah? Been thinking maybe I should get to shaving, possibly cut my hair, yeah? Stop looking
like a jobless hobo.
Harry laugh, quiet and genuine, aware of Louis family sleeping around them. I like you clean-
shaven as well. Like, well, reminds me a bit of 18-year old Louis, you know? Makes me kinda
nostalgic.
Louis gasps, mock offended. Are you saying you liked younger me better?!
Harry smiles, obviously non-deterred by Louis theatrics, I like every version of you. And I like
every amount of beard and every hair length, but he trails off, biting his lip and looking at
Louis with wide innocent eyes. Honestly, he looks a bit like a puppy, he thinks.
Go on, Haz. I want your opinion.
Well, when its longer than it is now, yeah? Like it was in late 2013, when Lou did that thing
where she sort of flipped some of your hair in that half-quiff thing, you know?
Louis grins, My hot dad hair.
What?
Thats what the Tumblr girls named the hairstyle. Hot dad hair.
Harry laughs. Well, pretty fitting Ill say. It was hot. So that, yeah, and later too. Like during our
break where it got really long. The hairband. Yeah, I liked that.
Uh-huh? Well, maybe I wont cut it then.
Oh, but I like it short too, Lou, like. I
Harry, Louis cuts him off, laughing. I know what you meant, yeah? I liked it longer too. I
kinda miss it like that. And its nearly there, a few months and Ill be back to my twenty-two year
old prime, yes?
Harry grins. So twenty-two is the prime, yeah?
Louis swats him. Cheeky bastard. He mutters and turns around to climb up the stairs.
You looooove me! Harry sing-songs from behind him.
Cant prove a thing.

The next morning Jay asks Louis to go to the bakery to pick up some bread for breakfast, and
Harry volunteers to tag along, holding out his headscarf to Louis with a big grin. Louis takes it
and ties it into his hair, kind of liking this ritual they seem to have established with it. Very
comforting. Lottie and Fizzie coo at them when they see Louis fixing Harrys hair, and he flips
them off in retaliation. Jay is not impressed to say the least, hurrying a laughing Louis and a
sheepish looking Harry out of the door, out into the real world. Together.
Theyd checked Tumblr and twitter the night before, once theyd tucked themselves into the bed
in the guest room, and seen that there was avid speculation that they were both in Doncaster,
based on Harrys radio interview, the fact that he was now MIA, and the proof that Louis was
home and not in London, which both Fizzie and Lottie had tweeted about, though neither
mentioned Harry. Theyd gotten a text from Simon Jones this morning, telling them to keep up the
good work (ha!) and encouraging them to confirm that they were together in a way that didnt
seem like they were trying to call too much attention to it. No pap excursion or anything, but just
something natural, sort of private.
It is still fairly early, as they make their way down towards the bakery. The streets are practically
deserted, the two of them so far only having met an old lady walking her dog. They walk beside
each other in companionable silence, both content to just breathe in the fresh morning air and let
their thoughts wander.
Are you nervous? Harry asks when they turn the corner, walking onto the street where the
bakery is. About Sunday, I mean.
Yeah, Louis says quietly. Id be lying if I said I wasnt. But, like, maybe more of a good
nervous than a bad? Like sort of oddly excited. It really helped telling the girls and stuff, like I feel
more ready now.
Me too. Like. Yeah, excited and nervous. Im, yeah. Its gonna be kind of nice to get it over
with, yes. Like, once its out there. Gonna be good.
I hope so. Louis agrees as he holds the door to the bakery open for Harry, effectively cutting off
their conversation. Together they peruse the display, Harry offering his expert commentary on the
different choices, the boy still fond of his time at the bakery.
Once theyve chosen what theyd like to have, the old lady behind the counter puts it in paper
bags for them and Louis pays her. Just as hes about to say goodbye and turn around, she offers
him a crooked smile.
My granddaughter is a big fan, she lives up in Manchester. I couldnt trouble the two of you for
an autograph, could I? Itd make her very happy.
Harry smiles big and genuine. Of course. Where do you want it?
The lady produces a piece of paper and a pen for them, tells them her granddaughters name, and
Harry and Louis proceed to sign the paper, adding a small message for the girl. The lady thanks
them profusely, but they brush her off, insisting it was nothing. They make their way back to
Louis familys house and are greeted with four pair of grabby hands simultaneously reaching for
the bread theyre carrying, seemingly having come to the consensus that Harry and Louis were
taking too long.
Breakfast is a loud affair, and Louis cant remember having felt this comfortable at home for a
long, long time. Despite having Harry next to him and having to pretend theyre in a relationship,
he feels so, so free. Like he can finally be one hundred percent himself. Hes surrounded by
laughter and his family who still love him. Always. And hes got Harry sitting next to him, doting
on Doris whos on the other side of him, distractedly touching Louis every now and then, stealing
food from his plate and pulling faces at Ernest. It seems so natural, like he really belongs here with
them all. Louis thinks that somehow, despite it all, he does.
After breakfast, Louis takes Ernest outside, insisting on some male brotherly bonding in the
backyard. Its a bit ridiculous, Ernie isnt even three years old yet, but its nice nonetheless, sitting
on the grass in the yard, rolling a small football between the two of them and telling Ernie stories
that leave him a giggling mess. He doesnt see his sibling nearly as often as hed like.
Some time into Louis and Ernies wannabe game of football Louis is totally trying to groom him
into a football lover, its all about getting an early start the girls join him, leaving only Jay and
Harry in the house, Dan having left for work hours before. When he inquires with Lottie about
Harrys whereabouts, hes told that hes helping their mum make lunch.
When he turns his attention back to his little brother, hes met with Ernies small fists clutching a
handful of grass and dirt in each. Louis lets out a startled laugh and moves to prevent Ernie from
putting either of his dirty fists into his mouth, knowing that it was exactly the kind of thing he
would have done at his age. Jay is always telling Louis how having Ernie is like having a small
Louis all over again.
I think well have to go inside to get you cleaned up, eh big guy? Louis grins as he picks up
Ernie. Hes just about getting too big to carry, but he manages just fine, though its a bit of a task
to prevent him from smearing dirt all over his shirt. They make it to the bathroom and somehow
get all the dirt off Ernie, before Louis takes a hold of his now clean hand, and makes his way
towards the kitchen where he knows Harry and his mum must be.
Were a bit slow on the uptake, Harry. Louis hears his mother say, voice kind, as Louis and
Ernest move into the hall, hearing their voices through the open door leading to the kitchen.
I dont know Harry starts before hes interrupted by Jay once more.
Give him time, yeah?
And, just. Give him time. Give who time? Give Louis time? Time for what?
Theres nothing but silence in the kitchen now, and even Louis and Ernie have stopped in the
middle of the hallway, both curiously silent. Somehow Ernie must be sensing that right about now
would be quite a terrible time to start talking. Clever lad, really.
Yeah? Comes Harrys voice finally, so, so quiet Louis very nearly misses it.
Yeah. Louis hears his mum confirm softly.
And, fuck Louis got fuck all clue what theyre talking about, but they dont seem to be willing
to continue the conversation, so Louis figures he might as well make his presence known.
Eavesdropping is probably a grey area of questionable morals and all that anyhow.
Louis picks up Ernie and makes his way towards the kitchen door, doing nothing to hide his
presence. As he enters the kitchen, his phone alerts him of a new text message, and Louis thanks
the higher powers that it didnt arrive a few minutes earlier. Now that would have been equal parts
awkward and hard to explain. Note to self: when eavesdropping and trying to be covert, put your
phone on silent. Yes. Valuable life lesson, that. Hell have to teach Ernie when hes older.
Its from Simon Jones again, the text: Fan reporting grandma saw you together in Doncaster. Be
a good time to do something thatd confirm youre together.
And, okay. Ask and ye shall receive, Louis is nothing if not out to please. Something.
Oh, Lou, you shouldnt carry him around like that, Jay fusses once she sees Ernest in his arms.
He felt it was a good idea to test his gardening skills, Louis says, ignoring his mother
admonishing. So we had to clean you up a bit, right Ern? Ernies only reply is to giggle into
Louis shoulder, but hell take it.
Hey mum, Louis says, struck by sudden inspiration, Take a picture of Harry, Ernie, and me
please? He holds out his phone for his mother to take, and she does so with a small smile.
Harry looks at him, questioning, but all Louis does in reply is grin widely, moving to stand on
Harrys left, holding Ernest between them.
Alright guys, big smile! Jay says, as she holds up Louis iPhone. Louis poses, one hand
pointing at Ernest, mouth wide in excitement. There you go. Lovely photo. Would you send it to
me, dear? She asks, addressing Louis.
Louis nods his agreement, setting Ernie down on the floor and accepting the phone from his mum.
Are you tweeting that? Harry asks, peering at Louis from the stove where hes back to
managing whatever hes making for lunch with Jay.
Huh? Oh, yeah, Louis nods in affirmation, distracted, trying to figure out what to caption the
photo while he opens the twitter app.
This trip has gone better than hed dared hope so far. Hes happy that theyd gotten the
announcement over with so quickly, leaving all this time for Louis to just relax and have fun with
his family just be with them. Theyre leaving in a few hours, going to swing by Mark and his
grandparents before driving up to Harrys mum. But Louis is calm about it, so much calmer than
when theyd left London. For all intents and purposes Mark is his dad and Keith is his
grandfather, and if they cant accept him for who he is, then, well, fuck. Itd suck, sure, but itd be
their loss. For some reason hes not even remotely concerned about his mums parents.
He types in the tweet and attaches the photo before locking his phone, placing it on the counter,
not bothering to check the amount of retweets and favourites it gets. Hes happy with it just as it is.
Its the truth after all.
V
Chapter Notes
Right, so here's chapter five!
As always massive thank you to Jess and Loo for britpicking and betaing - you
should have seen how this looked before they got their hands on it, miracle workers
they are!
And lots of love to Nina for being my own personal back stroker, I would probably
still be looking miserably at chapter two without you!
And of course thank you to all of you who've read, left kudos, and comments, and
come to talk to me on tumblr! Love you all!
Without further ado:
See the end of the chapter for more notes
S tro p at vi lander der hvor vi skal
Og tro p at vi fr det som vi skal have
Tro p at vi sammen kan n de smukkeste ting
Nu er farten hj og lbet er hrdt
Nu er natten lang og dagen er kort
Og indimellem tnker vi over hvad det her vil bringe
(Marie Key De her dage)
CHAPTER V:
The whole flying thing has never really been Louis cup of tea. Like, not that hes scared of it,
more that hes just not a big fan of sitting on an aeroplane for hours on end, uncomfortable and
unable to sleep properly, and is shit more often than not, too. So, all around not his favourite
pastime, no. Also, time zones. Another thing hes none too fond of. Hes always been sort of
jealous of the way Harrys internal clock is able to adjust so easily, jetlag being almost a foreign
concept to him. One nights sleep and Harry is fine, making him able to travel from one continent
to another on short notice without being all that affected. Its unfair really, when Louis is affected
by jetlag for what seemed like actual ages. He walks around for days feeling like a zombie, unable
to sleep when hes supposed to and so, so tired when he should be awake and rested. Another
reason on the list along with millions of other why Harry Styles is the born rock star, and Louis is
very decidedly not.
Now, when sitting in a comfortable sofa in the VIP lounge of Heathrow Airport, hes slightly
grumpy, what with nearly twelve hours on a plane waiting for him. Its lucky probably, that their
stay in LA has at least been extended in order to include coming out interviews for Harry and
Louis. Itd have been wholly ridiculous, and terrible for Louis inner clock, if they were to leave
again on Monday after barely having even touched down in LA, as had been the original plan.
Then again, its not exactly like the interviews about his relationship with Harry and his
preference in who he likes to share his bed with is something to look particularly forward to.
Christ.
Louis stands up abruptly, feeling jumpy and buzzing from pent up energy, and he knows that he
needs to burn it off somehow before getting on the plane. Talking a walk seems like a good place
to start.
Im gonna go for a walk, lads, he announces to the people surrounding him, Alberto getting up
from his chair to go with him.
Dya want some company? Zayn asks, looking up from the book hes been reading quietly.
Louis shakes his head. No, he says, Im fine. He catches Harrys eyes from where the
younger man is watching him from his chair, and offers him a small smile before turning his back
to the rest of the boys.
Hes got no actual direction really, except for a vague idea to at least go towards some shops, and
not just wander among the gates.
Youve got about an hour before you board, Alberto says, walking a step behind Louis, If
youre going to a shop or something like that, youll probably need to prepare for the potential of
fans.
I dont mind, Louis murmurs. He doesnt really. Beats sitting in a chair for an hour, tapping his
feet and going out of his mind.
Alright, then, Alberto merely says.
And its pretty great, really. Hes been around for a long time now, and Louis feels safe with him.
No matter the situation. Not to mention that he trusts him, not just with his well-being, but with his
secrets as well. Albertos loyal to a fault, would never sell Louis out. Hes a terrific bodyguard,
and somewhere down the line hes become a friend as well.
The two of them manoeuvre through the terminal, Louis forgoing most shops in favour of just
walking past, not really feeling like looking at any of the stuff they have to offer. No one has
approached him yet, but out of the corner of his eye hes seen several people whisper and point at
him. Oh well.
Hes starting to contemplate maybe just grabbing a cup of tea or something, when something
catches his eye. He turns, feeling suddenly inspired as he walks into the Burberry shop, nodding at
the sales assistant and trusting Alberto to keep her from interrupting him in his perusing. He heads
straight towards the display of scarves they have hanging in the corner of the shop, everything
from wool, to cashmere, to silk waiting for him, displaying everything from the classic Burberry
print, to new snazzy ones, or none at all.
He lifts his hand to touch one gently, finding himself contemplating which would look the best in
Harrys brown locks quite before hes even admitted to himself that hes here to shop for Harry.
Its kind of strange, Louis shopping for Harry that is. Back when they lived together and after
also if Louis is being honest it wasnt uncommon for Harry to come back with a sweater of a t-
shirt hed bought for Louis when out shopping, simply because it had made him think of Louis,
but Louis usually left Harrys clothes shopping up to himself.
This though, this practically screams Harry, as Louis takes a teal silk scarf from the rack. Its got
this black heart print on it, connected in a way that almost makes it look like tiny leaves. Its
beautiful. And Louis can just imagine how it would make Harrys eyes greener, how it would
emphasise the pinkness of his lips and the colour of his hair. How Harry would smile wide,
dimples deep, when Louis presents it to him. Its no longer even a question of whether hes going
to buy it for him or not. Honestly, it never really was.
He turns towards the cashier, intent on paying for the scarf and getting back to the lads, when he
spies the shops impressive collection of hats. Mostly for the fun of it, he makes his way over
there, but the longer he contemplates the different hats in front of him, the more he considers
purchasing one for Harry. A nice fedora, perhaps, hed definitely appreciate that.
Louis has always been kind of ambivalent towards Harry and his headwear, on one hand thinking
its fucking sexy (like those pretty headbands) and on the other hand finding it absolutely
ridiculous (like whenever he wore a hat that was bigger than most normal peoples umbrellas). A
nice little fedora though, Louis could definitely appreciate that on him. He picks one from the
shelf, beige and simple looking. Stylish. Classy.
Excuse me, a timid voice sounds behind him. He turns around and is met with the sight of four
girls in their mid to late teens, all of whom are looking at him with equals amount of awe and
nervousness. He smiles at them, somewhat trying to reassure them that despite what they may
think, hes not going to bite off their heads. The girl speaks again, this time seeming to have
gained some confidence from Louis reaction to their interruption. We dont mean to disturb you,
but we were wondering if youd take a photo with us?
Louis smiles at them kindly and nods. Yeah, absolutely. Together or separate?
It ends up being a minor photoshoot, the girls getting their picture taken in various different
combinations and groups before they finally deem it satisfactory. They thank him profusely as he
bids them goodbye, excusing himself to go and pay for the scarf and the fedora.
Once hes got both items in a distinctive Burberry bag, he decides that he might as well head back
to the others. He passes the girls outside the shop, giving them a cheerful wave and a smile,
chuckling at how theyre all bent over their phones, obviously tweeting their pictures and accounts
of what has just happened. Hell have to check to see what twitter is saying once hes on the
plane, he decides.
It doesnt take him long to make it back to the lounge area where the boys are sitting, finding them
almost in the position he left them. Zayn is still reading his book, both Liam and Niall are sleeping,
their heads resting against the backrests. Niall is snoring slightly, and next to him Harry is on his
phone, seeming oblivious to the rest of the world until he hears Louis return. He looks up then,
offering Louis a small smile before eyeing the bag in his hand with a small frown.
Louis plops down next to him, placing the bag by his feet and instinvtively resting his head on
Harrys shoulder. He feels Harry tip his head, the weight of it settling against his own. Louis
exhales.
You better? Harry questions, his thumb tracing a pattern into Louis thigh.
Mmmhh, Louis hums, Yeah. Was feeling kind of edgy, sbetter now. Walk helped, yeah. Bit
tired now, though. He nestles further into Harrys neck and shifts a bit as Harry extracts his arm
from where its trapped between them to slip it around him. He holds him to his side, prompting
Louis to snuggle up against him even more. Suddenly he could really go for a nap.
What did you buy? Harry questions, tapping Louis vans clad foot with the toe of a black boot.
Ive never seen you in Burberry before. Im a bit curious. His words are muddled from where
his mouth is pressed into Louis hair. Theyre pretty much full on cuddling now, cramped together
between their two chairs, and however uncomfortable it may be, the very thought of moving
seems like torture.
Ill show you later, Louis says, unable to hide his smile, hiding it in Harrys collarbone.
Unfair, Harry states. Really, really unfair, Lou. Show me now, pleeeeeaaseeee? He drags the
last word into a childish whine, and Louis laughs quietly, helplessly fond.
On the plane, then, he decides, fiddling with the button of one of the two plaits Harry is
wearing. Hes got such a ridiculous sense of fashion still, age having done nothing but solidify it
as Harry.
Promise? Harry whispers, and Louis tips his head up, locking eyes with him. The younger man
has a small playful smile on his lips, his eyes sparkling despite how exhausted Louis knows that
he is.
Theyd ended up driving home from Annes early this morning instead of last night, meaning that
theyd been up long before anyone should have to be. Once theyd gotten back to London, Louis
had driven them both back to his place where Harrys car was, and theyd separated in order to
pack what they each needed for the next week in LA. Theyd only had a few hours before they
had to be at Heathrow, so a nap was unfortunately out of the question.
Before reaching Annes theyd both been by all of Louis grandparents, as well as Marks house,
and it had, all things considered, gone alright. Theyd been hurt and confused, but theyd also
been accepting and loving, and thats really what it came down to in the end. Anne and Robin had
been absolutely lovely, their understanding knowing no bounds. Louis suspected, though, that
Anne had pulled Harry aside and talked to him about it in private, judging by his demeanour when
hed gone to bed on Friday night, Louis having just gotten out of the shower. Its not that hes
seemed angry, or happy, or sad, or any major distinguishable emotion, more that hed just seemed
kind of off. Hed seemed sort of distracted, antsy and fidgeting, unable to settle down once they
were in bed. Anne had offered the guest room to Louis, but somehow theyd ended up in Harrys
room together, the both of them having grown too used to sleeping next to each other. Louis
found he strangely did sleep better when he wasnt sleeping alone, another persons warm body
next to his serving as a calming presence. A sense of not being alone.
Louis had finally had enough of Harrys restlessness, placing his hand flat against his bare back
and thus prompting him to turn around to face him. Louis had opened his arms, an invitation for
him to take if he wanted, and the younger man had curled up in Louis embrace, his forehead
resting against his chest. Louis carded his hands through his curls, pulling a satisfied sigh from his
lips.
Hed never asked about what Harry and Anne had talked about that night, or why it had affected
Harry like it had, figuring that if he wanted him to know, hed say. Thats not to say he isnt
curious though.
Yeah, Louis says, pulling himself back to the presence, I promise.
Harry seems satisfied with this, nodding and grinning, happy to have gotten his way somewhat.
Im so tired, he sighs, tightening his grip on Louis. Whose terrible idea was it to drive home
this morning?
Yours, Louis grins. Youve only got yourself to blame for this one, mate.
Harry groans. Never listen to me again, please.
Louis laughs, bright and louder than expected. Ill hold you to that.
Harry grins back. Better not, he says, I doubt that go well, if we only had your ideas to
follow.
I dont know what youre trying to insinuate here, mate, but Ill have you know that I co
Lads, Zayn interrupts him, prompting Louis to trail off and look up at him in question. We get
to board now ahead of the rest.
Louis nods and looks around, a little surprised to see that both Niall and Liam are awake and
ready to go, all of it having happened around him, without him even noticing.
I swear to God, Tommo, Niall says as they make their way out of the lounge, him and Louis
walking next to each other, Its like you and Harry exist in your own little world, completely
oblivious to the rest of us.
Hitching up his backpack and keeping it from sliding down his shoulder, Louis shrugs. Im sorry,
I dont know why. He says finally, because he really doesnt, its not like its something that
happens with anyone else, its only Harry. Hes not sure why hes apologising, except that he
feels like he should.
Nah, mate, Niall grins, Its always been like that. We dont mind, weve never minded. The
two of youve always been special.
Whos special? Zayn asks, coming up from behind Louis and slinging his arm around his
shoulders. Little Lou here?
Louis mock growls, I dont know who youre calling little, Malik, but
Boys, Paul warns, as theyre nearing the gate. Lets just get on the plane, yeah? No stopping
for fans.
The boys nod and straighten up slightly, all of them stopping their playful banter in favour of
stepping into a more professional demeanour. Not even the playful stage one, or the friendly lets-
meet-the-fans one, but a purely professional mask, designed to get their task done as quickly and
efficiently as possible.
It doesnt take long to have their passports and boarding passes checked, and soon Louis finds
himself seated in first class next to Harry, facing the reality of spending the next 12 hours on a
plane. Hes not a fan. It makes it easier though, that hes sitting next to Harry. Theyve got a fool-
proof routine for sleeping down, involving a lot of odd angles and tangled limbs, but resulting in
the both of them being able to sleep comfortably. Louis much prefers to sit next to Harry, really.
Niall snores, Liam pours sugar packets on him, and Zayn is all sharp edges and pointy bones, and
definitely not nice to use as a pillow.
So, Harrys voice interrupts his thoughts, Were on the plane, Lou. Let me see what you
bought!
Right, Louis says, grabbing the bag from where hed placed it underneath the seat in front of
him. Uhm, well, happy coming out, I guess. He hands Harry the bag with a small smile.
What? Harry asks, confusion marring his face. Is it for me?
Louis shrugs, Well, Burberrys not really my brand, is it?
Harry looks intently at him, hands clasped on the bag, but he has yet to open it. Lou, he says
quietly, this odd edge to his voice which Louis cant quite place. Lou, you shouldnt have
Come on, H, Louis sighs, Dont go all mushy on me. Its just a present. Open it, yeah? He
pulls out his phone, trying to remain aloof while Harry gingerly looks into the bag.
Harry pulls out the scarf first, looking up at Louis with a blinding smile after hes studied the scarf
thoroughly.
Youre very passionate about me wearing these headscarves, huh? I never knew you liked them
so much. He grins, the scarf clutched in one of his massive paws.
Louis shrugs, tossing his phone between his hands. Was the fact that I gifted you with about a
hundred new ones on your twentieth birthday not a dead give-away?
Harry laughs and inclines his head. Thats true, I just Thank you, Lou. Really. You didnt
have to do this, itsits really beautiful.
Louis doesnt blush, but its a damn near thing. He nods towards the bag. Theres one more
thing.
Harry smiles at him fondly, before pulling out the fedora. He raises his eyebrows at Louis and
laughs, What is it with you, and me with headwear?
Louis shrugs. I just kind of thought it was a shame you stopped wearing stuff like this, is all.
Harrys dimples deepen and he puts on the fedora, smiling up at Louis. How do I look?
Louis grins back, easy and honest, before answering, Brilliant, Haz.
Harry leans in and places a kiss on his cheek. Thank you, he whispers, leaning his forehead
briefly against the side of Louis head. Really, just thank you. This is so, so lovely, Lou. I love
them.
Louis plucks the hat from Harrys head and balances it on his knees, smiling comfortably at him.
Youre welcome, he says simply, no need for any other words, really.
Hmm, Harry hums, and scoots down slightly, positioning himself so that his head can rest
against Louis shoulder comfortably. Did you run into any fans?
Yeah, Louis says as he rests his head on top of Harrys, A few came when I was about to pay
in Burberry. Took a few photos, nothing big.
We should check twitter for them, eh? Harry suggests. Like, check one of the update accounts
or something.
Sure, Louis agrees easily, opening the twitter app on his phone. He chooses one of the big
update accounts, and sees that the last three tweets have been about his spotting.
Thats Harry hesitates for a moment, and lifts his head from Louis shoulder, in order to be
able to look at him properly, Thats kind of really brilliant, Lou. People will know that I got these
from you when I wear it. Pretty neat, that. Quite sly actually.
Louis frowns. Thats not why I did it though. I had no idea theyd be able to identify it from the
photo and
No, Harry interrupts, Lou, come on. I know you didnt, like, plan this or whatever. I know. Im
just saying its convenient. It seems real, because it is real. You did buy me this just because you
wanted to, and through an unplanned event people now know that you bought it, and theyll be
able to connect the dots. But thats not why I like it. I love both, really, Louis, I do! And I cant
believe you bought these and I just
Stop, Louis interrupts him with a laugh, taking a hold of Harrys wrists. Stop, babe. Really.
Youre welcome. Im glad you like them.
I do. Harry repeats again. Think Caroline will let me get away with wearing it at the TCAs?
Louis snorts. You dont have to do that, Haz. Really.
No, no. Louis. I want to. Harry assures him eagerly, turning his hands around in order to grab
Louis hands with his. Youre amazing.
Louis laughs and rests his forehead on Harrys shoulder, shaking it slightly. And youre an idiot.
Fuck, babe, its just a scarf and a hat.
He feels it when Harrys shrugs, his forehead still on his shoulder, following it up and then down
as it moves. Not to me it isnt. A beat of silence, then, Hey, do you wanna come with me to
Shamrocks when we get to LA?
Louis pulls back from Harry to look him in the eyes. He cocks an eyebrow in question. You
getting a tattoo? Well, you know, probably shouldnt come as a surprise.
Yeah, Harry smiles, Made an appointment for tonight. We could grab some dinner after
leaving the airport, and then, like, go there? If you want? Its fine if youd rather just go back to
my house and sleep
No, Louis shakes his head slightly, not even having to think about it twice, Id love to go with
you, yeah? We can always grab dinner somewhere were guaranteed to be papped leaving. Hit
two birds with one stone, sort of.
Yeah, Harry nods, leaning his head back against the seat, thatd be good, yeah. Itd be
But Louis never gets to know what would be what, because next thing he knows a flight attendant
is interrupting them, asking them to fasten their seatbelts and get ready for take off.
From there its a wholly eventless flight. Louis sleeps away a fair bit of it, and spends the rest
listening to music and playing QuizUp against Zayn on his phone, Harry subtly helping him.
Are there paps waiting for us at LAX? Louis asks when theres only half an hour until their
landing. Hes curled into Harry somehow, having ended up with his head on the younger boys
chest.
Harry hums, Yeah. I think so. Isnt there always, though?
Louis allows a chuckle to escape. Point taken.
Its weird, innit? Harry says after a moment of silence, carding his hand through Louis hair. I
mean like, in less than 48 hours the whole world will think were in a relationship.
Nah, mate, Louis teases, Im sure therell still be one or two insisting that the great Harry Styles
simply cannot be anything but very, very, very straight.
Harry swats his upper arm, Louis, I was being serious here.
Louis sobers instantly. Sorry, babe. Um, yeah. Its really weird, definitely. Weird and scary, like.
Yeah. Just a bit hard to imagine, no? Seems kind of surreal to me, to be honest.
It takes Harry a moment to answer, then, Surreal. Yeah, uh for me too. Surreal.
Hmm, Louis is tired, his eyelids drooping and he could definitely, definitely go to sleep now.
No use though, when theyll be landing in no time. No one can blame him for being tired though,
it is like four in the morning UK time. We should maybe sit down sometime and think of couple-
y things we can do over the next couple of months, yeah?
Yeah, Harry says, distractedly running his hands through Louis hair again, and then repeating
the motion.
Louis sighs and shakes his head. You shouldnt do that, Haz. Youre gonna make me fall asleep
again.
Harry chuckles. Thatd be of no use, were nearly there. We better sit up properly anyhow. Well
go straight to Craigs or something when we get there, yeah? And then Shamrocks, and then we
can go straight to bed when we get back to the house. We havent got TCA rehearsals until noon
tomorrow, and the meeting with Jones about the arrival isnt until Sunday morning.
Louis nods, Yeah, sounds good. He straightens up in his seat and fastens his seat belt once more
as the flight attendant comes by again. Hey, he says, suddenly remembering that Harry never
disclosed what hes getting at Shamrocks, What are you going to get?
Huh? Harry says, momentarily confused, before visibly catching on. Oh, the tattoo? Umm,
well, just this lyric from Happily that Ive wanted to get for years, yeah? Just never really could,
all things considered, so, umm
Which lyric?
Harry hesitates for a moment, then, I just want it to be you and I forever.
Oh, Louis says, temporarily stunned into silence. Thats well, people are going to take that
as being about the two of us, you know?
Harry shrugs, and turns to look out of the window, taking in the sight of the ground getting closer
and closer. Let them then, he finally says, voice barely distinguishable over the loud noise from
the plane. I dont really care to be honest. Its, well. Ive wanted this for a while. ItsI cant
explain it, Lou, I
Hey, Louis interrupts him, reaching out to touch his upper arm gently. Hey. Darling, come on,
you dont owe me any kind of explanation, alright? Its a lovely lyric, it really is. I dont mind that
people will think its about us. I kind of hope itll turn out to be about us. I mean, like, I hope
were just as close as we are now forever. I dont ever wanna lose the friendship we have
together.
Theres a sort of sad tilt to Harrys mouth when he smiles in response, like his lips just couldnt be
bothered to make the effort to look genuinely happy.
Sometimes I think Ill end up alone. Harry lets out after a moment of silence, effectively
somewhat changing the subject. The words are quiet, Harrys voice barely above a whisper, but
fuck if they dont shatter Louis heart into a billion tiny pieces, grinding it until its nothing but tiny
particles of dust. Because shit, there is literally not a single person on the entire planet Earth, not
one individual in the history of mankind, whom Louis could point at and say deserves to find
someone to love and spend the rest of their life with more than Harry.
Harry who has fuck who has probably never even known what its like to be in love. And its
not that Louis really ever been in love either, but thats so not the point, because this is Harry.
Beautiful, lovely, wonderful, magnificent Harry, who is both far kinder and much more deserving
of love than Louis. The thought that he should end up alone is nearly unbearable.
No, Haz, he says, once hes regained his ability to function, You wont. I promise, love, some
day youre going to meet some wonderful boy, and youre going to fall in love with him, and
there is literally no way he wont fall in love with you too. And youll get married and have
wonderful children who will be just as amazing as their dad. And I will hate your husband just a
little bit for coming along and taking you from me.
For a moment Harry looks like hes about to say something, odd expression on his face, but then
he turns his head, burying it in Louis chest at the same moment as the flight touches the ground.
He stays there as the flight taxies into place, Louis gently rubbing his back. They dont separate
until the flight attendant returns to inform them that theyre free to leave the plane ahead of the
people in the lower classes.
Its a quick thing, getting up and off the plane, and through all the formalities that must be covered
when entering a new country. They dont wait for their bags, having people who will make sure
they get to their hotel rooms, or in their case Harrys house, where theyve opted for staying for
the duration of their time in Los Angeles. Harry had offered the other boys to come stay at his as
well, but theyd all preferred a hotel for the week even Liam who has his own house here the
allure of a breakfast bar and room service being too much for them. Management and PR had
been wholly supportive of the idea of Harry and Louis staying separately from the rest of the boys,
counting on the fact that everyone but the two of them would be seen and papped at the hotel to
raise suspicion that they were somewhere private, just the two of them.
They take a moment to collectively steel themselves before going to meet the wall of paparazzi
theyve been told will be waiting for them. Its been a long time since theyve had to deal with
anything quite of this scale, so its all a bit daunting. (Fucking terrifying actually, but, well,
semantics). Once theyre as ready as theyll ever be, they start moving again, Niall, Liam, and
Zayn leaving in front of Harry and Louis, who are walking next to each other, but other than that
doing nothing to indicate that anything has changed between them. Louis is clutching the
Burberry bag in one hand, ensuring that there will be high quality pictures of him in possession of
it, before Harry turns up with new Burberry items.
Its strange really, being back to getting blinding by flashes going off, and steadily ignoring the
many questions and requests shouted at you.
Hey, Harry! Harry! Look here, bro!
Harry, Louis, are you gonna give us a kiss for the camera?
Where are you going now, boys? Zayn, wheres the missus?
Niall, did you and Barbara break up?
And so it continues, though Louis is happy to note that he has managed to retain his finely tuned
ability to ignore every single word that comes out of their mouths. Its a proper feat alright. Louis
places a hand on Harrys lower back, using gentle pressure to guide him towards the car, wanting
to get out of there as fast as possible.
They stumble into the car with little grace a minute later, breathing a collective sigh of relief.
Id sort of forgotten how much of a madhouse that could be when its all five of us. Harry says,
sagging back into the seat of the car.
Yeah, Louis agrees, mimicking his pose. Theyre alone now, the other boys having taken a
different car to the hotel, having all declined Louis and Harrys generous offer to come with them
to dinner.
Its a quarter to eight, but for Louis internal clock its nearly five in the morning, so hes already
exhausted. He closes his eyes for what is supposed to be just a second, but the next thing he
knows is Harry gently shaking him awake.
Gotta wake up, babe, he says, Were here now.
Disoriented and barely awake, Louis makes a noise of disapproval and buries his head in Harrys
chest.
Come on, Lou, Harry coaches gently, We going to go eat, yeah? Well take the back entrance
in and then leave out the front.
Louis nods against Harrys collarbone, breathes in deep and pulls back. The heavy blanket of
sleep is somewhat being lifted off of him, and he stretches as best he can inside the car, before
looking up at Harry through his lashes.
Right, he says, Yes, lets go. God, Im exhausted. Bloody jetlag.
Harry hums in agreement, though he seems entirely unbothered by it, the bastard.
When theyre finally seated at a table in the middle of the restaurant, they take a moment to
consider what theyd like before ordering. The waiter returns a minute later with a bottle of wine
and some water, before leaving them alone again. Louis wants nothing more than to bury himself
in Harry, not in the mood to be around other people at all. Theyre sitting close, despite the
massive booth theyve got for themselves, and Louis leans into Harry, burying his face in Harrys
chest. Hes still soft and tired, pliant from his little nap in the car, and its quite possible that he
could just fall asleep right then and there, given the proper opportunity.
He soon feels Harry nuzzling into his hair, inhaling deeply, and he absent mindedly thinks that he
hopes his hair smells alright.
Theres a girl sneaking photos of us from one of the tables, Harry breathes into Louis hair, his
hot breath soothing on Louis scalp. He hums in recognition of Harrys words, but opts for doing
nothing but pressing himself closer to Harry, chasing the warmth and revelling in the way his
body sags into Harrys like they were intentionally sculpted to just fit. He could get up, should
probably get up and extract himself from Harry, but he doesnt want to. Besides, isnt staying
what a boyfriend would do anyway?
So stay he does, comfortable just to be close to him, ignoring the fact that they are in the middle of
a crowded restaurant.
Its not until the waiter returns with two steaming hot plates that he lifts his head from Harrys
chest, giving it a light parting kiss for show. They eat in relative silence, jet lag seeming to finally
pay Harry a little visit. Its a comfortable silence though, as it always is with them. When he has
taken the last bite of his food, Louis is reminded of Harrys impending tattoo, and he realizes that
he never asked where it would be. He takes in what he can see of Harrys body, most of it sadly
covered by fabric, only his arms bare for Louis to see. Theres barely any space left on Harrys left
arm, most of it covered with different tattoos, different memories, some of which even Louis
doesnt know the true meaning to. His other arm, the right one, is still suspiciously bare, just like
Louis own left. Hes never really considered much why that is, its always just felt wrong to even
consider filling it like hes filled his other arm. He wonders now, if maybe Harry is planning to
finally tattoo his mostly bare arm, cant imagine where hed find room on the other, unless he
means for the tattoo to weave itself in between the others. Or maybe hes planned to have it
somewhere else on his body entirely.
He catches Harrys attention by taking a hold of his wrist, his thumb brushing over his pulse point,
vaguely noting the soft thud-thud of Harrys heart he can feel under his thumb.
Where are you going to get it? he asks, and then clarifies, The tattoo, I mean.
Harry smiles and nods his head at where Louis fingers are encompassing his right wrist. Right
there, he says, Around my wrist. Like a bracelet, sort of.
Louis loosens his grip on him and moves it to take hold of his hand instead, pulling his wrist closer
to him to study. He runs a finger over the soft skin, imagines how itll look when its got words
etched into it, all the way around.
Gonna look so pretty, darling, Im sure of it. He murmurs, giving Harrys hand a small squeeze
before releasing it again.
Harry practically preens under his compliments, smile wide and sincere. Thank you, he
breathes, Means a lot.
Louis smiles back at him, Are you ready now? Wanna get the bill and go?
Lou, Ive long surpassed the point where I had to, like, get ready for a tattoo. Think I got a few
too many for that. But yes, lets go, yeah? And then to bed. After. So you can sleep.
Hmm, Louis hums, flagging down a waiter, Sounds brilliant.
Louis gets the bill for them whilst Harry calls their driver to let him know to have the car ready
outside. They collect their things before making their way towards the doors that lead them onto
the street and into the arms of what seems like half of LAs paparazzi.
Theyre blinded by flashes the second the door opens and they leave the restaurant. Louis walks
half a step in front of Harry, trying to make out the path to the car through the bright spots dancing
in front of his eyes, when he feels Harrys hand rest on his hip, gently leading him forward. He
twists his hand around to hold onto Harrys forearm and leans slightly against him as he comes up
next to Louis. He keeps his head down from there on out, trusting Harry to guide him to the car.
Their driver is ready in front of the passenger door, holding it open as they reach him, enabling the
two of them to slip into the car quickly. Aware that the paparazzi are still taking pictures through
the window of the car, Louis places his hand on Harrys thigh and sags against him.
Dont know how you managed to live with this daily, to be honest, he mumbles into Harrys
chest, his thumb absent mindedly drawing circles into Harrys thigh.
He feels Harry shrug more than he sees it, and when he speaks, it is with words breathed into
Louis hair.
You get used to it.
Thats thats kind of sad, really, Haz. Louis says after a moments pause, because, fuck, it is.
Its not something anyone should ever have to get used to, being treated like youre some kind of
zoo animal, some kind of object everyone has the right to get a piece of, like youre not even
human.
Harry shrugs again and brushes his hand across Louis chest, over his tattoo. It is what it is. He
says, and then pulls Louis a fraction of an inch closer, just as the car finally starts moving.
Louis stays in his position, even as theyre moving down the street at a steady speed, too lazy and
too tired to sit upright. Harry doesnt seem to mind anyhow, as he rests his head on top of Louis.
Its a short drive, only a few minutes until theyre parked outside of the tattoo shop, a few paps
lingering there, apparently waiting for them as they perk up once the car pulls to a stop in front of
the parlour.
Louis sits up, and makes to get out of the car, when Harry catches his wrist, making him turn his
attention back to Harry to see what he wants.
Harrys eyes are big and apologetic, and his grip on Louis wrist tightens as he speaks, as though
its absolutely necessary for him that Louis believes him. I didnt know theyd be here, Lou. I
didnt, I swear.
Louis shakes his head, moves the hand whose wrist Harry isnt clutching to stroke down his
cheek. I know that, darling. The thought never even crossed my mind, I promise. Lets just get it
over with, eh? Lets get you tatted.
Harry seems to breathe a visible sigh of relief, before he smiles whilst ducking his head slightly,
looking up at Louis through his lashes, looking so, so adorable and then, at last, nods.
Louis runs his hand through Harrys hair as a parting gesture, before opening the car door and
stepping outside. The walk from the car is both shorter and easier to make than when at Craigs,
the amount of paps far smaller. Louis suspects though that there might be a few fans outside once
theyre ready to leave, a rather large amount of people seeming to have taken quite an investment
in their rumoured relationship.
Once theyre inside Shamrock Social Club theyre greeted by Freddy. Louis is delighted to see
him again, it being a long time he last stepped foot here. He gives them an appraising look, and
then a nod and a smile.
Always knew there was more than just friendship between the two of you, he says, pointing
between their arms. Too many complimentary tattoos for it all to be platonic. Glad to see youre
not hiding it anymore.
Louis shrugs and leans slightly into Harry for show, when the younger boy rests his massive hand
on the small of his back. He doesnt bother to correct Freddys assumption about the length of
their relationship, opting instead for just smiling softly.
We got sick of pretending, yeah? Harry says then. Figured now might be the best time to just
come clean with it.
Didnt want a tour where we had to constantly hide everything, you know?
Makes sense, boys. M happy for you, bout fucking time, Id say. Are we tatting you up too,
Louis? Getting more couple tattoos?
Louis shakes his head, Just Harry this time, mate. Though I gotta admit Im itching a bit to get a
new one now Im here.
Freddy laughs, Its usually like that, yeah. Next time youre here, eh? Give you two the time to
come up with something blatantly obvious.
Absolutely, Harry says, smiling as he seats himself in the chair, rolling up the fabric of his
flannel shirt and baring his naked wrist.
Freddy nods and seems to put on his professional mask, nodding towards Harrys arm. A lyric,
yeah?
Yes. Harry nods, and produces a piece of paper from his pocket. This one.
Freddy reads out the words quickly, cocking an eyebrow and looking between the two of them.
Not a couple tattoo, eh?
Louis looks to Harry, a small smile tugging on his lips, and sees him shrugging sheepishly at
Freddy, a pretty blush colouring his cheeks.
Alright then, Freddy says, waving the paper slightly, And in this writing?
Harry nods. Its just my own, yeah.
Dont want your boyfriend over there to be the writer?
No, Harry says, just as Louis heart speeds up, Freddys question startling him, irrationally
nervous about what Harry might have said. Which is ridiculous, of course, why should Harry ever
want something like that to be on his body in Louis handwriting? Im the one whos wishing it,
no?
Hey, Louis interjects, running his hands down Harrys back. I want it too, love. Its mostly for
show, but then again, also a little bit not. He does wish that itll always be him and Harry against
the world, after all.
Harry leans into his touch, and meets Louis eyes with a smile. Louis smiles back at him. Fond
and private. Harry knows what Louis means, what he isnt saying, Louis is certain.
Sure, Freddy says, drawing their attention back to him. Ill just get this ready then. He waves
the paper in the air, and then leaves the room.
Harry and Louis and the only ones left here now, bar the paparazzi and fans who have started to
congregate outside the shop, visible through the windows.
Louis, Harry says, voice quiet, effectively drawing Louis attention back to him. I waswell,
umm, I was kind of, you know, wondering if, well, if youd, you know do some of it?
Louis knits his brow together in confusion, trying to decipher Harrys sentence. Do some of
what? he asks, confused.
Harry doesnt meet his eyes when he answers, The tattoo. He looks up then, eyes locking with
Louis. Would you do some of the tattoo?
For several long seconds Louis is too stunned to answer, wouldnt know what to say even if he
wasnt paralysed into confusion. Because in, like, an objective light, he knows that Harrys been
tattooed by his friends before, knows he has small doodles by Ed and one by Zayn, and thats
fine, but its silly and somewhat meaningless, and Louis has never even entertained the idea of
holding the gun himself, one hundred percent convinced that he lacks the steady hand and the
artistic abilities it would require. And, fuck, Harry is asking him to do a part of this tattoo this
tattoo that hes been waiting years to have -- shit, fuck, bloody hell, just what even?!
Fuck, Haz, Louis finally breathes. I couldnt do that. Fuck, no. Id mess it all up. Im not Zayn,
I havent got a steady hand, Id ruin it completely, I
Lou, Harry interrupts, a hand on Louis arm, calming him down. Relax, love. You dont have
to, really. But Id love it, if you would. Im not asking for steady or, like, pretty. It can be crooked,
and messy, and I dont mind, okay? Its just the dots between the beginning and the end of the
lyric, and yeah Id really love it if youd do them. Itd mean a lot.
Louis breathes in a steadying breath. Just the dots? He questions.
Harry nods, smile slowly blooming on his face. Just the dots. He confirms.
And you wont hold it against me when I fuck it up?
Harrys grin remains wide, bastard knowing perfectly well that hes already convinced Louis.
Stupid curls and puppy eyes. Blast it all.
Id never. Ill love it. I promise.
Louis is about to protest that he cant know that in advance, when Freddy returns. Settled your
lovers spat?, he questions, a knowing glint in his eye.
Harry grins. Yes, he says smugly, Louis will do the dots.
Freddy nods, and looks at Louis, who surely must have a look of complete terror on his face.
Thats how hes feeling anyhow. You wanna go before or after me? He asks, nodding towards
Harrys wrist and the tattoo gun lying next to it.
Umm, Louis hears himself say, uncertain. First, I think. Yes. First, get it over with, please.
Hey, Harry says softly, reaching out to take Louis hand, stroking his thumb over the back of it.
Sweetheart, you dont have to do this if you dont want to.
Louis pauses for a second and catches Harrys eyes, concern and sincerity shining through. And,
also, sweetheart? Thats a new one. Hell have to up that one soon.
No, Louis decides. No, I want to do this. Dear. Louis tags on the last word, looking at Harry
meaningfully.
Harry grins at that, keeps himself from laughing somehow. Okay.
Right, Louis, Freddy interrupts, having prepared Harrys wrist while they talked. Im just
gonna walk you through it, yeah? Its just three small dots, itll be over before you know it. You
just have to dip the needle in the ink here, see, and then press it into his skin at a 45 degree angle
where the mark is on his skin. Youve been on the other side of this a hundred times, bro, you
where the mark is on his skin. Youve been on the other side of this a hundred times, bro, you
know how it is.
Louis represses the urge to shake his head, because it is not the fucking same thing, okay?!
And. Shit. Suddenly it just feels so massive and important and all consuming and shitshitshitshit
how is Louis supposed to do this?
Lou, Harry says, catching Louis attention, making him look up from Harrys wrist and at his
best friend instead. I trust you, okay? I love you.
Louis nods, feels himself calm somewhat. He leans down, tattoo gun still clutched in one hand,
and presses a kiss against the back of the hand thats about to be tattooed. He nods again. Right.
Right. I love you too. Okay. Nodding up at Freddy, he attempts a smile. Lets do this. Im
ready.
Freddy nods, instructs Louis on how to go about it again, and sooner than he ever could have
been prepared for, hes pressing the needle into Harrys skin. For something that he has managed
to work himself up over so quickly, its over laughably fast. He hands Freddy the gun, hands
shaking slightly now that its over, and moves to rest his forehead against Harrys, trying to regain
control of his body that seems to have gone completely hay wire.
Harry twists his head as Freddy starts working on the tattoo, kissing Louis on the forehead, down
the side of his face, over his cheek, to his neck and his collarbones. Thank you, he breathes into
Louis skin, head resting against his chest.
Louis runs his hands through Harrys hair as Freddy keeps working on him, adjusting his wrist as
needs be. Louis hasnt dared look at what hes tattooed after he finished, fucking terrified to be
met by runny ink and bloody squares or something. Its not entirely unlikely, in all honesty.
When Freddys finished and cleaned up Harrys wrist, Harry pulls it closer to himself, studying it
close up, and obstructing Louis view of it in the meantime.
Lou, Harry breathes, looking up at him with wide eyes, lips curling into a smile, dimples on full
display. Thank you! He pauses for a moment, then, wryly, Id kiss you if it wouldnt end up on
plastered across the internet in five seconds flat.
Louis laughs, knows Harrys kidding, and takes a hold of his forearm gently, guiding it towards
himself so he can see. When we get home, babe, he murmurs for the benefit of Freddy, acutely
aware of the roles theyre playing. He focuses then on inspecting the newest addition to Harrys
large collection of tattoos, stares at how the words wrap around his wrist, not unlike the I cant
change tattoo hed gotten covered long ago, only this time moving all the way around Harrys
wrist. And there, nestled between the forever and I, the beginning and end of the tattoo, are the
three dots Louis has made.
Theyre well, theyre not bad, exactly. More likewell, theyre all round and the ink isnt
running, which Louis counts as a clear victory, and, really, well, hed kind of expected it to be
worse. The first dot is slightly bigger than the other two, and the middle one isnt quite on line
with the rest, but it could have gone far, far worse. All in all its a beautiful tattoo, compliments
Harrys slim wrist nicely, and its just pretty. Very Harry, really.
Harrys fingers sneak under his chin and pull Louis head up, making him look at his face instead.
Its perfect, babe, it really is. I love it. I love you.
And, its well its weird, because its the first time Louis has caught himself wondering how
much of Harrys appearance is for show. Not thatlike, Louis knows that Harry wouldnt say it
was perfect, wouldnt say he loved it if he didnt mean it, and he knows that Harry loves him. But
is he telling him so because he wants Louis to know, or because he is playing the role of Louis
soon-to-be public boyfriend? Would Harry have said it to him if they hadnt had these roles to
play?
Louis mentally shakes his head, not wanting to dwell on it. Instead he trusts his own wrist, the one
donning the band with the suit of cards on it, towards Harry. Do me now, he says, the idea
having literally just formed in his mind. He turns his wrist over, exposing the underside, the
opposite of where Harrys three dots are resting, and looks up at him, meeting his confused eyes.
Three dots. Go ahead, do me.
Harry frowns. Are you serious?
Louis only nods, and looks to Freddy. Is that okay?
Freddy grins and nods. Sure thing, mate. Ill get a new needle. Switch places you two. He
leaves the room, presumably to get the equipment for tattooing Louis, and Louis turns his attention
back to Harry.
Will you?
I Harry says, still seeming somewhat shocked. Are you sure?
Louis smiles, running a soft thumb over the skin above Harrys new tattoo, careful not to touch the
inked skin. One hundred percent sure, Louis says, finding that hes speaking the absolute truth.
It may have been a spontaneous idea, but hes sure that its what he wants.
When Freddy returns he wraps up Harrys wrist and talks him through the steps of tattooing
Louis, even though hes actually tried his hand at it before. After that its a quick process,
practically over before Louis has even prepared himself for it to begin, and soon he has three small
dots directly above the club suit of his other tattoo. Louis cant help but think how both of their
dots will be visible, would practically line up if theyre holding hands. The thought is oddly
dizzying.
Thank you, he tells Harry, unable to tear his eyes from the new tattoo. Its undoubtedly the
simplest and smallest one hes got, but it already means so, so much, because Harry did it. Harry
did this. Shit.
Exhaustion suddenly hits him like a tonne of bricks, the excitement of tattooing and being tattooed
somewhat over, and now he just wants to go back to Harrys house and curl up in bed with him.
He gets his way soon enough as they pay Freddy and quickly bid him goodbye. They make their
way through the paparazzi assembled outside, and the fans attempting to snap selfies with the two
of them while theyre walking to the car, and then theyre finally driving back to Harrys house.
Somehow Louis avoids falling asleep on the way, but hes out cold the second his head touches
the pillow in Harrys bedroom.

The next day, the day before the TCAs, passes by in a blur of technical run throughs, rehearsals,
and their briefing about tomorrows arrival, and before Louis knows it hes sitting in the backseat
of the car that will take him and Harry to the show.
And its fucking terrifying, and hes bloody scared. Its one thing that hes about to come out to
the world, and hes doing so in a fake relationship with his best mate, but on top of that theyre
also performing their newest single the world premiere of their new music. Nobodys heard the
song before, and in all likelihood it may fail spectacularly. Not to mention that the gig they were
able to get is the TCAs, which, well, isnt necessarily the most beneficial considering the fact that
they are trying to reach a broader spectrum of fans.
The reality is though that beggars cant be choosers, and all Louis can hope is that theyll smash
their performance now, and that people will like it. They just have to do their best, and as clich as
it is, there is nothing else they can do.
Theyve just arrived, Harry says, interrupting Louis musings, his phone clutched in his hand as
he follows E!s twitter as it live tweets from the red carpet. The boys, I mean. Theyve just
stepped onto the red carpet, and people are starting to wonder where we are.
Right, Louis says in acknowledgement, helpless to fight the grin spreading over his face. Its
just this is kind of ridiculous, really. Like, when you stop to think about it all, its absolutely one
hundred percent just really fucking absurd. And can you really do anything but laugh at it?
So, Harry says, putting his phone down as the car starts moving from where its been parked for
the last fifteen minutes. Itll only be five minutes before theyre there now, Louis knows. Holding
hands, right? But no direct confirmation. Be coy, dodge questions, keep them guessing? Theyre
putting out a press release soon. Thats it, right?
Louis nods, Yeah, I think that about covers it.
Okay. Harry fidgets with the edge of his sheer black shirt which is unbuttoned to the middle of
his chest, showing off the butterfly and the birds nicely. Hes got half a zoo tattooed on his chest,
and Louis is apparently easily amused. The fedora Louis bought for him earlier rests on top of his
curls, and he looks so much like he did two years ago that it almost feels like Louis has gone back
in time. Almost.
You nervous? he questions, and rests his hand on Harrys thigh, meaning it to be a comforting
gesture.
Yes, he breathes, looking up at Louis and meeting his eyes, I am. I really, really am!
Louis squeezes his thigh and runs his thumb over the denim of his black skinny jeans. Me too,
he says honestly, Really, very nervous. Were in this together though, so itll be alright.
Harry nods. Yes. Yes. Alright. Itll be alright.
Ill go out first, yeah? Louis asks as the car pulls to a stop.
Okay.
Louis nods once curtly and takes a deep breath, adjusting the jean jacket hes wearing as the
passenger door is opened. He steps out, not allowing himself as much as a second to linger on
what hes about to do, what it will mean. Knows that thinking about it will do nothing but harm,
knows that its one of those things he needs to just throw himself into. No second thoughts.
Its overwhelming is what it is, the second hes out of the car. Fans are lined up, screaming his
name as they see him, paparazzi snapping away at him, so many flashes that he can hardly make
out what is going on in front of him, and the interviewers lined up as well, waiting to get their
individual scoop.
He turns his attention back to the car just as Harry steps out, looking the very definition of calm
and at ease despite how nervous Louis knows he was in the car must still be. Hes a fucking
picture: so, so beautiful. All skinny jeans, and shining boots, and sheer shirts and the fedora that
Louis knows will be tied to him in two seconds flat.
He smiles at Harry, small and private, and receives one in return, both reassuring the other that
theyre there, that theyre in this together, doing it together. He suppresses the need to draw in a
big breath in preparation, and just holds out his hand for Harry to take instead. Like ripping off a
plaster.
Harry takes it with a smile, his palm clammy in Louis, and its the only thing betraying how
nervous he really is. Louis squeezes his hand, knows that his own must be at least as gross, and
then interlaces the fingers.
The effect of their clasped hands is immediate. The screaming from the fans assembled to see the
various stars arrivals increases tenfold, and the paps go crazy. In all his years of being a pretty
fucking big celebrity, hes never experienced it quite like this. Its got a sort of frantic edge to it,
like they just know that this is a BIG THING, capital letters and all, like they know its practically
showbiz history, like they know that if they get the best picture it might make them rich enough to
retire comfortably tomorrow.
And its just weird like, Louis doesnt know what he expected, but thisits a fucking circus.
Maybe he was kind of expecting time to stand still for just a moment, everything suspended in air,
frozen in mid-air. Maybe he was expecting everyone to be stunned into silence or whatever.
Maybe he just wasnt expecting anything. Its well, its not because he couldnt have foreseen
this kind of reaction, its more that he suddenly finds himself aware of just how very much
unprepared he is for all of this. That he had thought he had prepared himself for what was to come
seems pretty preposterous now.
Theres no use fretting over could haves or should haves, so Louis plasters on a smile as him
and Harry make their way up the red carpet. They ignore the paparazzi and reporters calling
questions after them, their sole focus being getting to the other boys who are waiting for them
further up the red carpet. Theyre to take arrival photos all of them together, and they have one red
carpet interview with a reporter from E! before they are free to go inside.
Its kind of comforting, actually, holding Harrys hand, Louis thinks, as they catch up with the rest
of the boys. Its big and warm, somehow fitting perfectly with his own, like they were made to be
clasped. He figures theyre going to be holding hands quite a bit over the next long while, so its
probably a good thing.
They let go of each other as they line up to get their official arrival photos taken. Harry sneaks his
hand around Louis waist, and Louis leans into him, smiling at the camera. There seems to be
hundreds of cameras flashing in his face, and he feels positively blinded by the time theyre done.
Harrys hand slips into his again and he allows him to guide them towards the interview waiting
for them.
So, she says, as the five of them arrange themselves around her. Im here with One Direction
whose new single has its world premiere right here at the Teen Choice Awards later today. Are
you excited boys?
Yeah, Liam says, smiling. Very excited. Its been a while since weve performed, and getting
to present the song in a setting like this for the first time is really ace. Its a good way to come
back, I think.
The interviewer nods and turns to Zayn. Your new single is called Never Changed, can you put
a few words on it?
Well, its written by the five of us, and its pretty much just about what weve been through since
meeting each other, and that despite all of the things weve been through, and all the things that
have changed, the five of us are still as close as we ever were.
Were all very excited to hear it. And your new album which drops when exactly?
October 24
th
! Niall supplies, grin large. And then were starting our tour on the 10
th
of
January, so were really excited for that. I think weve all missed touring a lot. Its been nice with
a break, but were very much ready to get back at it now.
That sounds fantastic, boys, the interviewer smiles, her grin unnaturally big. And Im being
told you have to move on now. I cant let you leave without asking though, she nods towards
Harry and Louis intertwined fingers, Is this the two of you confirming that the rumours are right,
and that you are in a relationship?
Dont know where you got that idea, love. Louis says flippantly, as he flashes a toothy grin,
before pulling Harry with him towards the entrance of the Gibson Amphitheatre, where the show
was held, the other boys following them after making their hurried goodbyes.
Lou, Harry laughs, somewhat scandalized, burying his head in Louis neck as they wait to be
escorted to their seats. Youre such a shit.
Louis laughs, startled and fond. What was I supposed to say, Haz? Dont confirm anything he
mimics Simon Jones voice. Like how is that a solid plan? Its not like we could deny it, its
becoming official in a few hours.
I thought it was hilarious, Tommo, Niall grins, hand moving up to adjust the tips of his now all
brown hair (Im trying it out, he said when Louis and the others had inquired as to whether he
was going to die the tips again soon.).
I Louis starts to say, but he doesnt get to finish due to the man whos suddenly in front of
them, gesturing for them to follow him while he murmurs quietly into his walkie-talkie.
Theyre shown to their seats, and Louis revels in the fact that hes finally allowed to actually sit
next to Harry again without it being a national disaster. He leans into him, extracting his hand
from Harrys after giving it a little squeeze. Wouldnt want to appear to be trying too hard Louis
hasnt forgotten the amount of shit him and Eleanor used to get for not even being able to walk
two steps without holding hands. He will not let this thing with Harry be as obviously fake as it
was with El.
That went alright, yeah? he whispers, leaning into Harry, his mouth brushing the shell of his ear.
He draws back slightly as he feels Harry nod, and the younger man turns his head towards him,
and leans his forehead against it.
Yes. Harry breathes quietly, the two of them in their own world. Yeah, it went alright. Not that
bad, really.
Paps were insane! Louis murmured. Has it ever been like that before? When you were out with
Taylor maybe? Or Kendall?
Not the least bit, Harry shakes his head, moving Louis gently from side to side as well. Never.
But I guess two members of what used to be the biggest boy band kind of coming out together, is
a pretty huge deal no matter how yesterdays news we are.
Hmm, Louis hums in agreement. It seems to have helped though, right? Like, were sold out
for the first four shows in England, and getting there with the rest. Its looking much better than it
did a month ago.
Harry pulls back and nods. Yes, much better. S nice. Im he trails off as quiet settles over the
room in anticipation for the show to start. Louis turns his attention to the stage and doesnt even
flinch in surprise as Harrys hand comes to rest on his thigh. He knows there will be cameras
filming them, fans taking photos, and really, Harrys hand looks natural there. Comfortable, none
of the stiff edge that there had been to Louis when he was resting his on Eleanors thigh at that
sodding Topshop fashion show.
The part of the show leading up to their performance passes by in a blur, Louis too nervous about
their upcoming performance to pay too close attention to what is going on on the stage. Before he
knows it, the same man whod shown them to their seats has returned and is telling them that its
time to get ready for the stage.
They sneak backstage to the changing rooms and quickly rid themselves of the clothes theyd
arrived in. Louis keeps on his black skinny jeans and vans, but exchanges the denim jacket and
white t-shirt for a black one with a scooping neck line. He looks over at Harry, who has
exchanged his shirt for a white t-shirt with a dark blue dip-dye effect on the bottom. Hes currently
attempting to tie the scarf Louis had gotten him into his curls, the fedora placed neatly on top of
his pile of folded clothes.
Need a hand? Louis asks as he approaches him, having taken a look in the mirror and deemed
his own appearance satisfactory.
Harry smiles brilliantly and holds out the blue scarf to Louis. Please, he states, turning his back
to Louis again and locking eyes with him in the mirror.
Louis reaches up at the same time as Harry crouches down, their added efforts somewhat leaving
them at a height difference that makes it possible for Louis to tie it in. Its probably not
comfortable for either of them, but its fast and effective, and soon Louis is turning him around to
have a proper look at him. He reaches up to free a few curls from the scarf and then gives him a
once over, taking in his entire appearance from the tips of his black Chelsea boots to the scarf on
his head.
You look fantastic, Haz. He smiles genuinely, allowing the back of his finger to graze his cheek
as it passes it. Harrys eyes close briefly at the contact.
Harrys eyes travel down Louis body, and he feels the oddest mixture of confident and edgy. Its
strange.
Youre beautiful, Lou, Harry says, taking a step back from him and smiling. You always are.
Louis finds himself beaming at the compliment. Hes always been a sucker for those, albeit not
always sure how to react, particularly not when Harry is always so painfully sincere in everything
he says. Smiling seems to be the best option, yes.
Hey, lovebirds! Zayn calls from across the room. You ready to go on stage or should we give
you a moment?
Louis laughs and rolls his eyes, makes his way towards the others. Were ready. Lets show them
what we got, eh?
They huddle up in front of the dressing room door and go through with their pre-gig ritual that
theyd perfected long ago. Once theyre done, Louis can feel the nerves turned into adrenaline
pumping through his body. He feels high, a little like he could take on the entire world right now.
Hes missed the high of performing, and for the first time since their meeting with management, he
feels like hes found an inner calm. This is what hes supposed to be doing. This is all he wants to
do all hes ever wanted to do. That he gets to actually interact with Harry on stage now is just an
added bonus.
All traces of nerves are gone when he steps onto the stage, the beginning notes of their new song
ringing through the hall. Its an upbeat song with sort of folk-y undertones, somewhat reminiscent
of the style theyd dabbled with in Happily and Through the Dark. Its more mature, sure, but still
true to who they are as a band, and most importantly, its just so, so much fun to perform.
He belts out his own part, the chorus, harmonises with Harry perfectly, and hes one big smile.
Just. Its so much fun. Such a stark contrast to how performing had been before their break, when
he had to always be so, so aware of where Harry was for the sole purpose of avoiding him, of not
even looking in his direction. Now he can barely stop looking at Harry, constantly catching his
eyes, sure that the big grin on Harrys face is mirrored on his own.
Its over much quicker than Louis would have liked, and he suddenly cant wait to get to perform
all their new songs. And their old songs. For the tour, really, he cant wait for the tour. Cant help
but think of how much fun its going to be this time around. Like it was during their Up All
Night tour, which had seemed like nothing but a fever dream throughout both the Take Me
Home tour and Where We Are tour.
As soon as theyre off the stage, having exchanged a few quick words with the hosts, they fall
together in one big pile of limbs. An oddly misshapen mound of humans in something thats
meant to somewhat resemble a hug. Its raw, and uncoordinated, and so filled with love and
affection, and this feeling of being so fucking proud of themselves and the other four because
because it was so bloody good. Their performance. So good. Vocals on point and no one tripping
on stage, and not to mention what seemed to be a genuinely good reception to the song amongst
the audience.
Its everything they could have hoped for and more. Soon theyll be able to see what the verdict
really is on the song, articles and fan reports surely being written right this very moment, but until
then they can one hundred percent just enjoy their good performance.
And they do. They get changed back into their original outfits and sit through the rest of the show
before moving on to the after party together.

Louis has been here for about an hour now, having lost Harry and the other boys about half an
hour ago. Last time he saw him, Harry was chatting with Miley Cyrus about something or other,
and Louis didnt exactly feel like that was a conversation he particularly wanted to interrupt. Hes
chatting with a producer from LA himself, giddy from the praise their song and performance has
been getting from everyone hes talked to, as well as maybe one too many glasses of champagne.
In only an hour or so, at what will be eight oclock in the morning in London, the press release
confirming their relationship will be released. Louis doesnt linger on the thought for even two
seconds.
Its a nice party. There are a few fans here as well; people not directly affiliated with the music
industry or anyone in it, but who have got connections, or money, or whatever to get into a party
like this. Louis doesnt think theyre here for One Direction, though he caught them looking at
him a fair few times, but at any rate hes just happy that they havent been bothering him. Not that
he wouldnt take a picture or two if they were, but yeah its nice.
Lou! Harrys excited voice comes suddenly, catching him quite by surprise. Lou, whereve
you been? Ive looked everywhere for you! Come, he tugs at Louis wrist, smile wide and eyes
glassy. Drunk. Come on, babe. Dance with me? Please?
Louis laughs, feels larger than life and so light, like happiness is filling him with air, like a hot air
balloon, and any minute he might fly away. Yes. He says simply, effectively. Yes he wants to
dance with Harry, wants to flail around with him, smile with him, laugh with him, just be with
him. Yes. Yes yes yes yes yes. A million, a billion yess. All the yess in the world.
Harry tugs him towards the dance floor, and Louis calls a halfarsed goodbye over his shoulder to
the guy he was talking to, and lets Harry lead him away. And it sort of feels like hes floating, or
flying, or a little bit of both. Definitely, definitely not like hes walking. Are his legs even moving?
Everything is swimming sort of, the world turning and tipping and never standing still. His senses
dulled until the point where everything is just a pleasant buzz. But in the midst of his drunken haze
is Harry. Harry, who is so bright and so clear, like colour in a sea of black and white. Vibrant and
happy, and Louis wonders for a moment if maybe the world does revolve around Harry Styles. Or
maybe thats just Louis world. Spinning around Harry like hes the sun to Louis earth.
Theyre close as soon as they make it to the dance floor, pressed up against each other until all
Louis can feel is Harry. Hes surrounded by Harry Harrys arms, and his smell, and his skin, and
his very being. It doesnt feel like theres anything but Harry. And theyre close; so, so close. Its
like the rest of the world has ceased to exist, like all there is left is Louis and Harry. He quite
thinks he could be content like this for the rest of his life, probably. He could think of worse fates.
Theyre so close.
Louis doesnt know how it happens, much like with their first kiss. Doesnt know who instigates,
who takes the first step, who closes the last distance. All he knows is that one moment theyre
dancing close, and the next their lips are pressed together in a kiss.
And the feel of Harrys mouth against his is simultaneously not enough and too much. The way
Harrys jaw feels under his fingers, the way his plump lips fit perfectly against Louis thin once --
its all out of this world. He wants moremoremore, and at the same time he wants to push Harry
away, terrified by what hes feeling because hey, Louis likes kissing. Louis has kissed his fair
share of people, and hes had some rather bloody fantastic kisses throughout his nearly twenty-five
years of living, but its nothing, nothing like it is with Harry. Hes never ever felt like this from just
kissing someone, and yeah, thats fucking terrifying.
Also, Louis is drunk. So, so very, very drunk. And drunk Louis is definitely not known to make
the best of decisions. Theres a tiny voice in the back of his head telling him that snogging his best
mate might be very much on top of the list of shit never to be done.
Louis is a fucking master at ignoring that voice.
He tilts his head slightly, runs his tongue over Harrys bottom lip, prompting him to open his
mouth. He does so quite willingly, taking in Louis tongue, meeting it halfway with his own.
Louis all but moans at the contact. Harrys mouth is warm, and wet, and perfect, and Loui twines
his fingers in his hair, pulls him closer, cant get him close enough. Kisses, kisses, kisses him until
he cant possibly do so for even a split second longer without beginning to feel faint from the lack
of air.
Its not the first time Louis kisses Harry, but its without question the best, their adolescent kiss
being childs play in comparison. Harrys not the first person he kisses, nor is he the first boy. Its
not the first. Its not really any kind of first. But if it were the last, Louis could probably die a
happy man.
Chapter End Notes
Hiii.
Okay special note this time - I'm most likely not going to be able to post next Friday,
as I'll be out all day and not sure when I'll return, but it'll be late. Chapter six will be
up either late, late Friday my time or some time Saturday morning. Sorryyyy.
Also, if you're ever sitting back wondering what Harry thinks about it all, or why
Louis did this or that, my ask box on my tumblr is always open for character asks, so
you can just come ask them yourself ;)
And lastly, if you like this, it'd mean a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot to me if you'd reblog my
tumblr masterpost for this fic *insert blushing emoji*
Kudos and comments are a writers bread and butter!
See you next week! xxxx Heidi.
VI
Chapter Notes
Hiiiiiiiiiiiii.
Would you look at that? So I am posting Friday after all, funny that.
As usual a massive, massive thank you to the wonderful Jess and Loo for looking this
over! Thank you thank you thank you thank you.
And, just, this fic would not be here right now if not for the wonderful, fantastic,
brilliant Nina, who is also the woman responsible for the brilliant manip this features.
Send some cyber-chocolate her way!
Hope you enjoy. xx
See the end of the chapter for more notes
S tro p det vi har og nr vejen ikke er klar
Og der er mrke dage - vi kan komme tilbage
Men lige nu er vi landet p s fint et sted
Mrk det lige - vi er endelig med
(Marie Key Uden Forsvar)
CHAPTER VI:
Louis wakes up the day after the TCAs alone, Harrys side of the bed cold, indicating that the
younger man got up a while ago. Louis reaches for his phone which lies on the bedside table. He
ignores the millions of notifications hes got missed calls, and texts, and even a snapchat or two
and checks the time. 9.47. He groans out loud. Hes got a mild headache pressing on his temples
and hes still so, so tired. They hadnt even stayed that late at the after party; it must be the jetlag
still
Wait a minute.
Shit.
Suddenly last nights events come rushing back to him, everything from the fact that hes now
publicly out, that the entire world knows he is gay, to the fact that everyone believes him to be in a
relationship with Harry, to the fact that they kissed.
Again.
Theyd kissed again.
And its not that its unexpected per se. Louis had come to terms with the fact that it was to
happen at some point, but hed never ever entertained the thought that maybe it would happen
totally naturally, without any pressure from paps, or plans, or anything. At a time where it didnt
have to happen, or where it didnt exactly serve the purpose of furthering their stunt. Theyd
kissed because that was what had felt natural in the situation. Because they were drunk, and close,
and theyd wanted to. And thats potentially very, very awkward, Louis thinks.
Maybe thats why Harrys out of bed this early. Maybe hes appalled by what they did, maybe
hes contemplating how to let Louis down easy, like he isnt already perfectly aware that it wasnt
anything more than a snog between mates pretending to be boyfriends. Its not like he even wants
it to be more. Its not. Its really, really not.
Like, its probably not a bad idea that they get used to kissing, make it seem as natural as possible.
They definitely wouldnt want to seem like they only kiss when in front of a camera, like its
awkward and unfamiliar andno. Definitely, definitely would not want that.
And anyway, its not like they can go out and snog anyone else not like they can go out and kiss
someone else for the next long, long while. And Louis isnt thinking they should shag, no, thatd
be awkward, probably, and theyre mates, so no, just no. But, like, a little snogging isnt anything
to get worked up about, right? Nothing to freak out about.
Surely Harry must think so too right?
Louis looks down at his phone again and sees three notifications from twitter hed overlooked
previously amongst the many other notifications on his phone. He continues to ignore those, not
quite ready to deal with the reality they represent, and focuses on the tweets. Theyre all from
Harry, tweeted earlier this morning in quick succession. Louis heart is suddenly beating a mile a
minute, and hes nervous. God, is he ever nervous. The press release is out now, he knows. Its
out there - in black and white - confirming that Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson are in a
romantic relationship. There must be thousands of articles already, the calls on his phone surely
have no purpose but getting confirmation directly from him. Same with all the texts, surely.
He checks Harrys tweets instead.
He draws in a deep breath, and its just its out there now. Its really out there. Its been such an
abstract concept through all of this, hard to comprehend, hard to imagine, sometimes even hard to
take seriously. Theres a part of Louis who honestly never believed theyd get to this point. But
here there are. Here they are. Shit. And they arrived hand in hand to an event, theyve kissed,
even if no one knows it, and theres a press release confirming it now. Its out there. No taking it
back. No backing out. No second thoughts.
Its terrifying.
And Harry Harry got up this morning, left a sleeping Louis in bed, and wrote these tweets.
How long did he spend agonizing over what to say? How scared was he when he pushed send?
Why hadnt he woken him up? Hed talked so much about needing Louis to be by his side
throughout this, so why didnt he ask for his support when doing something as massive as
confirming his sexuality for the whole entire world to read?
Fuck, Louis headache is only increasing with all these thoughts and, really, maybe he should just
man up and find Harry. Face the music, so to speak. If Harrys still here, that is. God, Louis hopes
so; doesnt know where else he could have or would have gone, but the irrational fear that maybe
he did leave festers in Louis stomach until hes out of the bed and out of the bedroom door,
before hes even registered hes moving.
Hes clad in a pair of pants and a ratty old t-shirt of Harrys, nothing scandalous, so hes got no
qualms about walking through Harrys house like this. Theyre the only two here at any rate, so
its not like it matters. Harrys already seen him in practically every version he comes in anyway.
He checks the kitchen first but finds it empty, no sign of Harry except for the used mug by the
sink, which Louis supposes must have contained his morning tea. He checks the living room next,
then the bathroom and the study, and several of the spare rooms. Nothing. Harry isnt to be found
in any of them.
Louis feels panic clench his gut, starting to believe that maybe Harry did just up and leave without
even leaving a message for him, and sweet Jesus that is not on. That is so, so not on. Just because
they kissed?! Well, if thats how Harrys going to react, Louis has a thing or two hed like to say
to him. He doesnt get to just leave Louis without so much as a bloody note, just because hes got
his knickers in a twist over a bloody kiss that wouldve had to have happened eventually anyhow,
and
Louis angry thoughts are cut off immediately as he steps out into the back garden and spots Harry
by the pool. Hes sitting on the edge of it with his back to Louis and feet submerged in the water.
by the pool. Hes sitting on the edge of it with his back to Louis and feet submerged in the water.
He doesnt hear him approach until hes right behind him, sitting down next to him.
Harry looks tired, but attempts a weak smile anyway. Morning, Lou, he says, somewhat
carefully, like hes trying to gauge Louis mood before giving away too much of how hes feeling
himself.
Morning, love, Louis answers, smiling gently at him, and nudging his shoulder with his own.
He absolutely refuses to let this be awkward.
Harry lets out a deep breath and turns slightly, leaning his head on Louis shoulder. Hes just in a
pair of lavender swimming trunks, which is so very Harry it makes Louis smile widen. Hes
tanned, and toned, and fucking fit. Hes also newly tattooed, and Louis has to internally roll his
eyes, because Harry has always been so fucking shitty at proper aftercare for his tattoos. At least
he seems to be keeping it shadowed by his own body this time, and it doesnt seem like he has
actually been in the pool with anything but his legs. Small victories.
Louis sneaks his arms around the younger man, resting his hand on his upper arm, holding him
closer. Harrys naked skin is hot to the touch, and a light sheen of sweat clings to him, indicating
that hes been sitting here for a while. Louis absentmindedly thinks that he hopes hes remembered
to put on sun cream, the sharp morning sun already having a burning effect.
Theyre quiet for a moment, Louis isnt sure what to say if hes being entirely honest. He feels that
its probably best to leave it up to Harry, let him speak when hes ready and have the conversation
about what hes willing to talk about.
It only takes a minute or so of silence.
Are you going to pretend not to remember this time too? Harry says quietly, so quietly that
Louis almost doesnt hear it over the sound of birds chirping and the neighbours gardener
mowing their lawn. Harry keeps his head buried in Louis chest, his eyes closed, and for a
moment Louis is quite confused as to what theyre talking about.
No, he says, as soon as he has caught on, surprised that Harrys cut straight to the chase, no
beating around the bush. I remember. I think we should probably talk about it.
I Harry starts, drawing back slightly to lock eyes with him, placing a hand against his chest to
steady himself. I dont really know what to say to be honest.
Louis shrugs and drops his hand from his arm, letting it slide down his back to rest just above the
swimming trunks. We were drunk, he says, and then clears his throat. We were drunk, and
dancing close, and were faking a relationship. Its not that strange, is it?
Something unrecognizable shifts over Harrys face for a moment before he drops his head,
looking down at the tiles surrounding the pool. No, he says, Not so strange, no.
In fact, Louis continues, It probably wouldnt be a bad thing to get used to it.
What? Harry looks up and locks eyes with Louis again. What do you mean get used to it?
For a second Louis worries hes overstepped some sort of boundary he was unaware was there,
but he continues, figures hes already got the ball rolling, he might as well just continue what he
started. And its a solid idea, it is. Logical. Yes.
Well, we need to do it when it feels natural, right? Like when wed do it if we really were in a
relationship. So yesterday wasnt that strange. Pretty sure we sold the idea of us being a couple
pretty well. And we cant snog anyone else for the next long while anyway. So if it feels like a
good time to do so every now and then, I dont really see the big deal there. Louis stops
rambling, quiets down and waits for Harrys answer.
Right, Harry says after a moment, turning his attention to the sky, No big deal. Youre right.
Yeah, of course youre right. Just wasnt sure if you were going to fake amnesia again. He smiles
at Louis, but its all wrong. Louis doesnt know why, cant really see much of a difference, but its
all wrong.
Harry, he says, not even sure where hes going to take the sentence, what hes going to say.
There are pictures, Harry interrupts him, picking up his phone from next to him. Like from last
night. He scrolls a bit before handing Louis his phone. From the after party. Of the two of us.
Louis looks at the screen, and is met with a blurry photo, obviously taken from a distance,
showing him and Harry, plastered against each other, clearly in the middle of a heated kiss.
Oh, Louis says, not sure how else to react. This is this is actually really good, right? Like, it
doesnt seem orchestrated at all. Were proper good at this fake-lationship shit.
Yeah, Harry says, and lies down on the tiles, his feet still dangling over the edge of the pool,
toes submerged in the water.
Louis lies down on his side, facing Harry, and decides to change the subject. I read your tweets.
Harry closes his eyes for a moment before turning his head to look at Louis. Yeah, I um, well,
I just wanted to clear everything up, I think. Sort of give people a clarification from me, and just a
tiny explanation, I guess. Ive got a lot to answer for
Why didnt you wake me? Louis asks, voicing the question hes been itching to ask since he
read the tweets.
Harry shrugs. I know jetlag always hits you pretty hard, figured Id best let you sleep.
Louis shakes his head as well as he can with his head still resting on the warm tiles. He runs his
fingers down Harrys cheek, stroking his thumb over his chin. Baby, Id have woken up for
this.
Harrys smile is small but genuine. Its okay. I just tweeted it, I havent checked how people are
reacting, what the articles are saying. Dunno whats trending or anything.
Hmm, Louis hums, Well look at it later, yeah? Lets get some breakfast for now? Maybe a
nap after that, you must still be exhausted.
Harry nods and sits up, extracts his feet from the pool. Yeah, he says, making to stand up
properly and holding out his hand to help up Louis once hes done so. Yeah, that sounds nice.

They enjoy the rest of their day doing absolutely nothing, knowing that as soon as they set off for
their many interviews tomorrow, the kind of tranquillity theyre currently experiencing will be
nothing but an unrealistic dream. They keep away from twitter and all things TV and internet,
opting instead to alternate between napping, and eating, and lying in the garden or dipping in the
pool. Its nice, getting their batteries recharged so to speak, a little bit of calm before the storm that
is undoubtedly waiting for them.
When its time for them to go to bed, Harry is the first one to shower before Louis takes over the
bathroom, going to wash off the left over traces of sun cream and sweat from the hot weather.
When he returns to the bedroom, clean and damp, he sees Harry on his phone, brow furrowed.
Harry, Louis sighs, before crawling into the bed, this time foregoing the t-shirt, leaving him only
in his pants. Its hot here, even with the air conditioning, and Louis has never been all that good at
sleeping when its too warm. You shouldnt be checking twitter, H. It doesnt matter what
theyre saying.
Harry looks up guiltily and places the phone on the sheets covering his lap. Theyre being pretty
nice, he says, as Louis moves to retrieve his own phone from the chest of drawers where hed left
it before going to take a shower. Like there are plenty of arseholes, but generally people are
being pretty nice and supportive. And Jones sent a text; he says the overall media response is
really positive. And were supposed to have been googled a lot more since yesterday than we
have been in ages. So, all good. You know, considering.
Thats good, Louis murmurs, distracted by the notification of Harry having tweeted yet another
thing while Louis was in the shower. He calls up the tweet, curious as to what the younger man
has to say this time. Its a response to a fan tweet, he quickly discovers, and he checks that one
too.
Louis touches Harrys small twitter icon, wanting to see it in a bigger version. Its an older photo
of the two of them, from one of the nights theyd spent with just the lads, where theyd been
allowed to be friends without any restrictions. Louis shakes his head; leave it to Harry to do
something like changing his twitter icon to a picture of the two of them. He really shouldnt be
surprised. Its a good idea though, all things considered. And how are anyone but them and the
other three boys to know just how old the photo is?
Louis goes to write a new tweet and tags Harry before typing out a few words and pushing send.
He cant help but smirk as Harrys phone goes off, the younger man looking at him from their bed
with raised eyebrows.
Harry laughs out loud when he sees it, his smile wide as he turns to his side in the bed, facing
Louis. Louis gets under the covers and turns to face him too. He seems to be deep in
concentration, trying to figure out how to answer him, and Louis is content to just watch him as he
seems to type in a tweet only to delete it again a moment later with a shake of his head and a
frown etched into his face. Finally Louis feels his phone vibrate in his hand, notifying him of the
fact that he has tweeted a reply. He pulls it up, stupidly eager to see what he settled on.
He chuckles and looks up at Harry. His eyes are sparkling and a dimple is visible in the cheek that
isnt pressed into the pillow. He seems tired too though, a sort of hazy quality to the way hes
looking at Louis. Louis hand moves to stroke back his hair quite of its own accord, and his eyes
flutter shut at the contact. Louis smiles softly at him before extracting his hand.
Get some sleep, yeah, Haz? You were up so early.
Harry nods. Night Lou, he whispers, before letting his eyes fall shut.
Louis watches him for a few minutes, waits for his breathing to even out, waits for him to fall
asleep. He goes to scroll through his camera roll then, looking through the photos hes got of him
and Harry, before finally settling on one a fan had taken of them during a Take Me Home
concert. Louis has always had a soft spot for that particular picture, and figures itd be a good
choice for his new twitter icon. He changes the photo before tweeting a reply to Harry, then
finally putting his phone of the bedside table, and closing his eyes, letting sleep overtake him.

Its the next day that they boys find themselves in one interview after the other. Its much like
when theyre doing album promo, or when they were doing interviews for their movie, Louis
thinks. Theyre all sitting on a sofa together, Harry and Louis next to each other, and the
journalists are coming one after another and interviewing them. Its been a mixture of album and
come back related questions and, of course, questions about Harry and Louis relationship.
Theyve only got one more interview to go through today, though theyre doing an interview with
Rolling Stone tomorrow, and a cover shoot the day after. The American part of their coming out
will be rounded off with a TV interview for E!, just him and Harry the day before flying back to
London where more interviews are waiting for them, no doubt. Louis only knows that they have a
live interview with Graham Norton on his Friday night chat show, this being the first aired
interview with them, every other publication under strict orders not to publish anything until later.
Their music video is premiering in a few hours, and Louis is optimistic in light of the single
reception, which luckily has been good overall. The music video is nice as well, he thinks, a
collection of footage from their years as a band, moving chronologically from their X Factor days
until now; including a lot of the boys private footage, therefore not editing out Harry and Louis
friendship, and also including footage from the process of making the new album. Everything is
edited together beautifully and gives a wonderful insight into the boys real relationships. Louis
gets all nostalgic every time he sees it. Its a lot like This Is Us ought to have been, in his
opinion.
The reception of their coming out has also generally been good, now that its been two days. The
world is at a different place than when theyd first started the band. Not that its all rainbows and
glitter, but theres been much less backlash than Louis had thought there would be. Not that they
are entirely free of it. Their twitter mentions are far from all supportive. Louis knows that there are
more than a few people who have openly expressed how disgusted they were by the two of them,
and there are also plenty of former fans who are feeling lied to and betrayed. Not without reason,
really.
They seem to have gained a lot of new support too, though. Both of their twitter follower numbers
have been climbing steadily upwards, and if Simon Jones is anything to go by, a lot of people
outside the tween demographic have been expressing interest in them on social media, in light of
their new song, and the reveal of Harry and Louis sexualities and relationship.
All in all, it could have gone a lot worse.
Currently theyre sitting across from a woman in her early thirties. Shes from some magazine or
other, Louis is honestly not sure, having lost track of the interviewers individual employers long
ago. Theyve exhausted the album questions, though honestly Louis could probably talk about
that for days on end, and the interviewer is slowly edging into asking about Louis and Harry. Its
what shes been waiting to get to all through the interview, Louis can tell. He cant really blame
her, it is juicy stuff after all. And if it helps the band, well
Theyre being recorded, the interviews, probably to be put up on the various websites of the
publications along with the articles, so Louis is constantly aware of his body language. Hes got
his arm thrown over the backrest of the sofa, resting gently on Harrys shoulder. Harry is leaned
into him slightly, his hand resting comfortably on Louis knee. Its nice enough. And weird too,
getting to be this affectionate with Harry in an interview, being actually encouraged to
acknowledge each other, smile fondly, look at each other with what the internet has dubbed as
heart eyes, but Louis honestly just thinks its his regular way of looking at Harry. Its a bit
ridiculous, but also a lot of fun.
So, Harry, Louis, she says, catching Louis attention again. You took the whole world by
surprise at the Teen Choice Awards by arriving together hand in hand, did you not? And now an
official press release has confirmed your relationship. How has the reaction been so far?
Fairly good, yeah, Harry says, ducking his head slightly to smile at Louis. Yeah, I mean, we
were kind of nervous about it all, you know? But people have been very nice so far, and, yeah,
its really, like, good to be able to just be with each other
Without having to look over our shoulders all the time, yeah, or constantly think about every
action to make sure it seems platonic. Louis continues, returning Harrys smile, before looking
back at the interviewer. Its been better than we dared hope for, yeah.
Well, I think I speak for everyone when I say that were very happy for the two of you, she
says, smiling what appears to be genuinely.
Hear, hear! Niall cheers with a big grin, eliciting a laugh from all of them.
Right, the interviewer continues, consulting her notes. The press release didnt offer a lot of
information beyond the fact that you were together, so could you tell us a bit about how long
youve been a couple, how it happened and such?
Well, its been about a year now, Louis starts.
Yeah, Harry continues, Contrary to popular belief we didnt get together before about six
months into our hiatus, which I know must come as a shock to a lot of people
Ah, yes. The so called Larry Stylinson shippers. The large portion of your fan base who believed
the two of you to be involved in a relationship since the X Factor.
Exactly, Louis nods, And, I mean, we get why they thought so. Weve always been really
close, very affectionate. Its a very easy conclusion to come to.
But there wasnt any romantic feelings between the two of you back then? She prods, leaning
forward in her chair slightly.
Harry clears his throat. Well, he says, looking down in his lap, I think, you know, Ive always
been in love with Lou its, well, I dont know, its just always been there? Like a part of me?
But I never really thought I had a chance, if Im honest. Yeah, so feels a bit like Ive loved him
all my life sometimes. Feels a lot like a dream that I actually have him now, can call him mine.
He looks up then, catches Louis eyes with a brilliant smile, and Louis doesnt know what to do.
Cant do anything but smile back, soft and fond, because what is he supposed to say to that?
Harry is being a terrific actor, the interviewer eating up everything he says with great gusto.
And you Louis?
Louis tears his eyes from Harrys and turns his attention back to the woman in front of them.
Well, no, I I had a really hard time coming to terms with my sexuality, so I never really
entertained the thought of Harry as anything but my best friend. Now I kind of wish Id done so,
Id have loved to have spent the last few years with him, even if it would have had to have been in
hiding.
Thats another thing I think many people are curious about your sexualities. Im not asking you
to label yourself, but I am curious about the many high profile relationships youve been involved
in, Harry, and your long term girlfriend, Louis.
Ive never been anything but friends with the women I was linked with. Harry states honestly,
looking straight at the interviewer, speaking slowly but clearly. Its never been anything but
mutually beneficial PR. Ive always been very aware of my sexuality; like that Im not
romantically or sexually interested in women.
So you knew you were gay when you joined the X Factor?
Yeah, pretty much. I mean, like, I was really young, yeah? So I guess I hadnt written off the
possibility that I might meet a girl Id be attracted to, and I wasnt really out to anyone, but, well, it
didnt happen. I mean, Ive never met a woman I was sexually attracted to. I, well, I met Louis?
That was pretty much instant confirmation right there. Been in love with him pretty much since I
was sixteen years old.
Louis tightens his grip on Harrys shoulder, and the younger boy sags further into him. Its such a
believable tale theyre spinning, nothing like with Eleanor when there were seven thousand
different versions of how and when they met floating around, and Louis could never keep what
was the official one straight.
And how about you, Louis? You were in a three year relationship with a woman, were you
not?
Louis internally rolls his eyes, because for a woman claiming not to want them to label
themselves, she sure is fishing.
Well, I was in a relationship with Eleanor for a few months, yeah. Harry squeezes his thigh.
Um, mostly, I think, because I was having such a hard time sorting myself out, and El is a lovely
girl. But, yeah, a few months, and then we broke up. And we sort of kept up the appearance of
dating, so to speak, because there was such heavy scrutiny on my relationship with Harry, and
everyone was trying to label me when Id barely figured it out myself, and was still trying to come
to terms with the fact that I am exclusively into guys.
And here you are now, the interviewer smiles, What a journey, huh? There was a lot of
speculation that the two of you stopped being friends back before your hiatus because you were
rarely pictured together
Yeah, Louis confirms, We were asked to take a step back from each other publicly back
then
But you never had a falling out?
Never. Harry shakes his head.
But surely it must have been difficult being in love with your best friend, Harry?
Of course it was, Harry says, and Louis moves his hand from where its resting on his shoulder,
to take his hand in his instead. Yeah, of course it was awful a lot of the time. It hurt and, like, it
was awful seeing Louis struggle so much, I think, but also I mean, the alternative was always
much worse, you know? Like, when it came down to it, that was always pretty much it; Id much
rather have Louis there as my best friend, than not have him at all. It still seems so
incomprehensible that I get to be with him properly, really. Louis squeezes his hand again, and
leans in to place a kiss on his temple. Harry sags into him, letting out a deep breath. Louis has no
clue where he is getting all of this from, but it seems so genuine, and the interviewer is drinking it
up, like someone who has spent days in the desert without water.
Youve been very public about your romance lately. She continues, obviously aware of the time
and the list of questions shes still hoping to have answered. Even leading up to the coming out,
you were spotted together a lot, looking intimate. And youve been tweeting quite a bit and
posting a lot of pictures. How come this sudden upsurge after being together for so long?
Well, we were trying to hide that we were romantically involved for a year or so, and, well, its
just nice now, not having to hide anything. I love Harry more than anything, and I dont mind that
the world knows. I just want to be open about how I feel about him. Louis shrugs, trying to seem
nonchalant about it all.
Yeah, Harry agrees, I mean, I think it just comes down to the fact that we no longer have to
hide. Its like, when thereve been restrictions on how much you can interact with your boyfriend
in public for so long, I think its just really nice to, like, do exactly what you want to without
second guessing every action.
Were really just trying out being like any other couple. Its nice, Louis supplies.
Theyre insufferable, Zayn laughs, Unbearable to be around.
Sickeningly in love! Niall chimes in.
Nauseating. Liam agrees, nodding solemnly.
The interviewer turns to the other three boys now. And hows this been from your perspective as
the ones closest to Louis and Harry?
Well, Liam says, smiling at them, Its been really nice seeing them find happiness with each
other, as sappy as that sounds. We all saw how tough it was for them to pretend not to be friends,
so its nice to see them like they are now. Together and happy. Happier than Ive ever seen them,
probably.
Yeah, Niall agrees. I mean, Ive always thought they ought to just get together meself, so Ive
wanted to get to say I told you so for quite so time.
The interviewer laughs, obviously charmed by Niall like the rest of the world. And is it different
now theyre together? Do you think its changed the dynamic of the band?
Well, theres not really much of a difference, I dont think, Zayn says, shrugging, I mean, they
still pretty much act the same around us as they used to, only now every time they touch or
interact, theres this sort of added layer of intimacy to it and
And now they kiss, too! Niall interrupts, his face split into a gigantic grin.
And that. Zayn agrees. But, really, theyre still Harry and Louis, its not like they treat us any
differently. And despite what you may think, they do know how and when to be professional.
Were all just happy for them. Liam cements with a smile. And were looking forward to
coming out with the new album and going on tour. Its going to be really great to be able to do so
without having any secrets hidden or anything like that. Were just genuinely looking forward to
having fun all five of us together, like we used to before everything got complicated.
The interviewer smiles, before locking eyes with someone behind the boys and giving a small
nod. Louis assumes that means shes been asked to wrap up the interview. Alright, boys, one last
question. Louis and Harry, this one is from a colleague of mine, I promised to ask, what do you
have each other listed as in your phonebook?
Louis lets out a surprised laugh, not having expected that one at all. Well, he says, grinning, I
think Im going to disappoint a lot of people now, but Haz is actually just a banana emoji on my
phone.
Hmm, Harry hums in agreement, I almost wish I had Louis as something ridiculously
embarrassing now, but hes just a football emoji on mine. Had to keep it covert, you know?
Maybe we ought to change it, eh, love? How do you feel about babycheeks?
Harry laughs, eyes twinkling. Dunno. Im quite partial to snugglebum when it comes to you--
Oh, for Gods sake, Liam groans, and then turns to the interviewer. Look at what you started
now!
Sorry boys, she giggles. Id love to continue this, but Im afraid my time has run out, and I
need to wrap this up. It was lovely speaking to you all, Im very much looking forward to hearing
your new album.
Theres a lot of commotion following her words, shutting off the recorders and crew starting to
pack up, as well as the boys thanking her for the interview. Louis leans back into the sofa and
Harry sags into him, curling in on himself to fit more snugly against Louis.
I was thinking we could go to the beach? Harry murmurs, face pressed into his chest. You
could surf, like. If you wanted to.
Hmm, Louis hums, spying the interviewer out of the corner of his eye. Shes watching them
with poorly concealed curiosity. Well. Sounds nice, babe. Today? Now?
Yeah, Harry says, tilting up his head to look at Louis. The weathers nice, yeah?
It is, Louis agrees, before tilting his head down and capturing Harrys lips in a brief kiss. If the
younger man is surprised, he doesnt show. All Louis receives in response is a fond smile and
another quick peck on his lips. It should be weird kissing Harry, probably. It should be, but it isnt.
Its like theres a certain familiarity to it, a connection and intimacy Louis hasnt experienced
before. Which doesnt make any sense. It doesnt make any sense, because they have literally
kissed less than a handful of times, and they are not even romantically interested in each other.
And yet kissing Harry feels almost as natural and effortless as breathing.
They havent kissed since the after party, and they havent talked about it since the morning after,
but. Well. Theyd agreed to do it when it felt natural, and had he been in an actual relationship,
Louis would have done it then, and with the interviewer watching them like a hawk, Louis thinks
its well justified. Besides, its not like Harry is complaining.

Twenty minutes later he finds himself in the passenger seat of Harrys white Mercedes headed for
the beach. Turns out Harry had a bag packed in the trunk of his car holding everything theyd
need; only leaving the surfboard for Louis to rent when they get there. Sneaky lad.
Louis is all for these kinds of spontaneous trips, loves how they can just make a decision and go.
Together. Go together in public, God; Louis still cant believe its actually a thing. It seems so
surreal after so long of never getting to do anything together outside each others houses.
Theyre mostly quiet for the drive, letting the radio fill the silence as Harry manoeuvers them
through the streets of Los Angeles. Louis is feeling quite content really, the weather nice and the
company great, the interviews having gone better than expected. Soon theyll be back in London,
and hes pretty sure theyll at least have a few days off before its time to do interviews with
Europes reporters. Theyre probably the biggest coming out of the 21
st
century in all honesty, so
Louis understands why everyone suddenly wants an interview, a picture, a quote.
There might be paps here, Harry says as he pulls into a parking spot, startling Louis from his
own thoughts. Louis turns his attention fully to him, angling his body towards the younger boy. I
havent, like, called any I wouldnt. But. Well, Id almost be surprised if there isnt at least
one
Its fine, Louis assures him, reaching out to pet his thigh. Ill just have to put on my boyfriend
mask. No worries, babe.
Harry smiles and nods, shoulders sagging slightly. Right, he breathes. Right. Lets go then,
yeah?
Yeah. Louis confirms, getting out of the car. He pushes his sunglasses higher up on his nose,
taking in his surroundings. Its gorgeous here, much different from rainy London, but he knows
that despite the sun and the palm trees, and the yellow beaches and azure blue water, itll never be
quite like home.
Hey, Harry says, quietly, looking around to see if theres anyone within listening range. This is
probably, like, the wrong time to bring this up, um But, well, I was thinking earlier, like, Lou
I meanI just-- what do we do when we get home?
Louis furrows his brow, confused. When we get home?
Yeah, I mean. Just. Like, weve been together for a year, yeah? Thats like. I mean. Thats the
story, right? And wed have moved in together, wouldnt we, if it were trueI just, well, what do
we do?
Oh. Oh. Well, honestly Louis hadnt considered that. Its not technically like theyd know, really,
the paps and the fans, if they were to say they lived together without doing so. But. Well, the fans
arent the only ones theyre fooling there is Louis family and many of their friends, people like
Ben and James Corden and Nick, who would definitely be suspicious, if they were to stop by one
of their houses, and find no indication that the other lived there too. Its, well, its a complicated
web theyre weaving, and the more they stick to the actual truth the better. The less likely are they
to be revealed, to be caught in a lie, which would be disastrous. Definitely the end of the band.
The end of their professional careers. No doubt.
Well, Louis says slowly, weighing his words before speaking, I guessI mean, were going
on tour in four monthsumm, we could-- I guess we could move in together until then. If you
want? Then were sure no one will get suspicious.
Harrys quiet for a moment, and Louis spends three gruesome seconds thinking that he might have
totally misunderstood what he was getting at. Then he smiles. Louis might breathe a literal sigh of
relief. Might.
Yeah, thatd make most sense, wouldnt it? Kinda nice, too. I mean, Iwell, Ive kind of missed
living with you. Yeah. So, nice, yeah. Id like that.
Louis nods and smiles. Great then. At my place? Thatd make most sense, right? Like, I suspect
youve had Grimshaw over within the last year? Itd be painfully obvious that Ive never lived
there at any point within that time. We can say youve kept your house to keep up pretences.
Harry smiles as he grabs the bag from the backseat of the car. Makes sense, he says, And you
dont mind? Me moving in? Youre certain?
Louis laughs and hip checks Harry as he comes up next to him. Mate, I get good company and
proper food out of this deal. Win win, innit? Cant complain.
I always knew you only wanted me for my cooking skills, Harry laughs, as they start making
their way towards the beach, intent on finding some place to change and rent a surfboard for
Louis.
That and your ability to do the laundry. Louis nods and laces his fingers with Harrys.
Harry looks down at their hands, and then up at Louis, a small smile playing on his lips. Hes
beautiful like this, Louis thinks, its like this whole game of pretending has somehow allowed
Harry to be more himself in public which, he supposes, makes sense, since he no longer has to
hide such a big part of who he is. Its like hes happier, more relaxed, feeling none of the stress his
usual PR stunts had put on him.
Its rubbing off on Louis.
Its nothing like it was with Eleanor, its nothing like he had thought it would be. And now theyre
moving in together, theyre kissing and holding hands, and it just feels so natural. Like, Louis
knows that theyre not in love with each other, knows that theyre not actually in a relationship,
but hes never been this at ease with any other person, has never before met anyone who allowed
him to be just one hundred percent himself. They might not be in love, but Harry is the most
important person in Louis life.
Its nice seeing him this happy. Its nice thinking that maybe Louis had a large part in making him
this happy.
Louis has always felt like there was a lot negative connotations with coming out, always expected
it to be awful, but its not. At all, really. Theres been nothing about coming out thats made his
life worse than it was before, nothing that could ever make him regret this decision. For all intents
and purposes hes happier now that he was before.
Thanks to Harry. Its always thanks to Harry, isnt it?
Im gonna go buy us something to drink, Harry says, as they reach the beach. If you get your
surfboard, Ill meet you by the changing room, yeah?
Louis nods and cups Harrys hip with his hand. Sounds good.
He leans up at the same time as Harry leans down, their lips meeting for a brief moment. Its
strange, that its so normal. So instinctual. It should be weird, kissing his best mate, right? Louis
definitely thinks it should be weird. Its just not, though. Like, theres no explanation for it, Louis
cant give a reason or make sense of it really but, well, it is what it is. Its nice though, that its not
something thats going to be awkward between them. If they can slip into a routine where they
kiss when its necessary, surely they can stop again when that time comes.
Also, Harry is an excellent kisser, so. Its not like they can kiss anyone else for the next however
long, and its not like Louis has kissed anyone for a long while. Its nice, this. Its nice
experiencing physical intimacy with someone again, and his and Harrys chemistry has always
been a science of its own
Besides, its not like theyre shagging. Its not like theyre going to be shagging. Just some
harmless kissing between mates. For business purposes. No worries. None.
Louis makes quick work of renting a surfboard from the small shop, Harry having already packed
the wetsuit Louis has had at his LA place for years now, before making his way towards the line
of small stalls set up along the beach where its possible to change. He finds Harry quickly
enough, the younger boy sitting in the sand in front of one, waiting for him. Hes got the bag with
their swimsuits on one side of him, and a plastic bag, which Louis assumes contains drinks and
snacks, on the other. He gets up when he sees Louis, sends him a smile and nods towards the
changing room behind him, which Louis takes to mean that its empty and ready for them.
They go in together, quickly changing into their swimming trunks, and Louis puts on the wetsuit
over his.
I saw what Im pretty sure were a few paps out there, Harry says before they exit, and, well, if
anyone would know, it would be Harry. Supposedly Cameron Diaz is surfing here right now, so
I guess its a safe bet well be papped too.
Louis nods and smiles to reassure Harry. It seems that the younger boy is worried when it comes
to Louis and the paparazzi, must remember how much he used to hate it with Eleanor, or
whenever they were all together, really.
I dont mind, he says, because its the truth. It is. I dont mind when its us, Harry. It hasnt
been that bad, really. I mean, he amends, Theyre all a bunch of twats, but like, its been okay.
You dont have to be so worried all the time. I get that its a part of this, getting papped. A huge
part, really. Pretty much the entire purpose. Its fine.
Harry nods and ducks his head, smiling. He seems placated by Louis reassurances, so he counts
that one as a win.
They make their way out of the changing room, and find themselves a somewhat secluded piece
of the beach, where Harry spreads their big beach towels while Louis prepares to go surfing. The
waves are nice here, not quite like the ones hed experienced when they were in Australia during
their Up All Night tour, but good nonetheless. Its been ages since he last surfed, so its just great
to be back amongst the waves at all.
Hes not entirely sure how long he keeps going, but he keeps at it until his body aches and hes
entirely exhausted. Hes floating on his board when he looks to the shore and sees Harry standing
by the water, a snapback on backwards and a pair of sunglasses shielding his eyes from the harsh
LA sun. He smiles and waves at him when he sees Louis looking at him. Louis waves back, and
decides to paddle in and join him on the beach. He picks up his board and carries it under his arm
the rest of the way, squinting slightly because of the sun.
Hi, love, Louis says, as Harry becomes within hearing distance.
Harrys answer is a smile as he reaches out for him to come closer. Hey, he murmurs, a warm
hand on his wet cheek, drawing him in for a kiss. This one is longer than the others theyve shared
today, their lips moulding together, moving softly. After a few moments Harry pulls back, only to
place kisses along Louis jaw towards his ear. Louis hand, the one not holding the surfboard, has
found its way to the dip of Harrys waist, resting comfortably against his naked skin.
Theres a pap over there, Harry murmurs into his ear, like something taken out of a spy movie.
Louis has to restrain himself not to look around trying to locate said paps. Instead he moves his
hand to cup Harrys cheek, turning his head slightly and connecting their lips again.
Okay, he says when he pulls away. Best give him something to report back about, then.
Harry laughs and leans up to peck him on the mouth again. Put your surfboard back, babe. Ill
get some snacks ready for when you get back. We can lay in the sun a bit before we leave.
Louis nods, a wicked grin on his face. Youre a proper housewife, arent you? he teases,
tugging slightly at one of the curls peeking out from Harrys snapback.
Harry shakes his head, smiling big, and takes a step back from him. Just do what I say, he
smiles.
Louis nods, grin growing wider. Yes, dear.
With a fond shake of his head, Harry turns around and moves back to where he set up their stuff.
Louis returns the surfboard to the shop as quickly as he can, before making his way back to him.
His hair is wet and he cant wait to get out of his wetsuit, so the faster hes back the better, really.
He pushes back his hair with one hand, trying to get the wet locks away from his face, and when
looking slightly to his left, he finally spots the pap Harry was talking about. Hes lounging near
them, though far enough away not to be within hearing range. Hes got his camera somewhat
hidden under a towel it seems. When he looks back at Harry, he sees that the younger boy is
holding up his phone, pointed at Louis, looking very much like he just took a picture. Louis
shakes his head fondly while taking the last few steps towards him and plopping down on the
towel meant for him.
He unzips his wetsuit and pulls it off his upper body, leaving himself bare chested, before turning
to Harry. Did you tweet about me again? he enquires, reaching behind him to take his own
phone out of the bag.
Maybe, Harry says, grinning.
Louis shakes his head in fond exasperation. Youre gonna end up getting complaints, Haz.
People dont want to constantly be confronted with my ugly mug.
Harry frowns and shakes his head, S not ugly, he says, making Louis chuckle.
Louis pulls up twitter on his phone and sees Harrys newest tweet, sent out only a minute ago.

Louis raises an eyebrow at him, entirely unimpressed. Surfer Girl, Harry? Really?
Harry grins and shrugs before starting to open various containers with different food, making
Louis realise just how hungry he actually is.
Its The Beach Boys, Louis. Whats not to love?
Louis is tempted to hum a few lines of Wouldnt It Be Nice, but sticks to just rolling his eyes
instead before taking a strawberry from the container Harry has just opened, and popping it in his
mouth.
They talk idly about their day whilst they eat, and then about the next couple of days and getting
some of Harrys stuff moved into Louis house. Theyre both lying on their sides, facing each
other with the containers of food and the drinks Harry bought between them. Louis isnt sure what
angle the pap has on them, but it doesnt really matter anyway, because it sort of has to be a
constant act when theyre not in their own home. It was one of the things that had compromised
Louis and Eleanors stunt the most, the fact that there was plenty of footage of them three steps
apart as soon as they thought they were out of the range of paparazzi and fans.
So he feeds Harry strawberries and smears a carrot stick with guacamole on his nose, only to lean
forward and kiss it off him whilst hes laughing. Harry retaliates by attempting to stick a breadstick
up Louis nose, which he captures in his mouth instead, taking a big, obnoxious bite.
When theyre done eating, Harry rolls onto his back and stretches lazily in the afternoon sun. He
arches his back, drawing attention to the tanned skin of his chest and stomach. Louis stays on his
side, watching him with a fond smile until the younger boy turns his attention back to him.
Wanna go in the water before we head back? he asks, eyes large and curious.
Louis nods and gets up to peel his wetsuit off entirely. Hes left in the swim trunks Harry had
brought for him, and when he returns his attention to his surroundings, dumping his wetsuit
unceremoniously on the sand though he knows hell loathe himself for it later, he finds Harry
standing near, watching him. He holds out his hand for Louis, apparently ready to go as well, but
Louis shakes his head.
A wicked idea comes to him, and he smiles brightly at him. Race you there? he asks, waiting a
moment for recognition to bloom on Harrys face before taking off down the beach towards the
ocean.
Hey! he hears Harry laughing from behind him, chasing after him.
Louis laugh rings out loud and clear, uncontrolled and real. He makes it to the water first. Its
colder without the wetsuit to act as a barrier between his body and the cool water, but its not
unbearable. Kind of nice against his sun heated skin.
Harrys right behind him, and he throws his arms around Louis waist, lifting him and spinning
him around, while loudly accusing him of cheating.
Louis mock gasps as Harry places his feet back on the ground and spins around to face him.
Harrys arms are still encircling him, and Louis moves his hands to hold him loosely around the
neck.
Did not, he says.
Harry pulls him a fraction of an inch closer. Did too, he says. The water is up to their waists, the
waves crashing around them. For a second theyre both quiet, eyes locked, standing so, so close.
Then Harry murmurs, Im going to kiss you now, and Louis only reply is to pull him closer by
his neck. One of his hands slides from Harrys neck to cup his cheek, while the other tangles itself
in his wet curls. Harrys hand slides up Louis chest to come to hold his head, and at some point
his tongue makes its way into Louis mouth.
He traces his tongue over Harrys teeth before meeting his tongue, tugging slightly at his curls,
startling a moan from the younger boy. Louis has to resist the urge to smirk in satisfaction that he
elicited such a sound from the younger man, concentrating instead on continuing kissing him.
When they eventually break apart for the need of air, Louis isnt sure how long theyve been
standing there. Theyre still so close, still holding each other in the water, resting their foreheads
against each others.
Youre a good kisser, Harry murmurs, and though Louis eyes are closed, he can practically
hear the smile in his voice.
He decides to go with the truth in reply. Youre not too bad yourself.
Its not Harry starts, Its not going to, like, ruin anything? Is it? Us. Kissing, you know?
Louis takes a moment to answer, then, I dont think so. I mean, well, youre my best mate, H.
Kissing you is nice and all, but its just kissing. We both know its just kissing, there isnt any sort
of conflict of interest or whatever. It doesnt really have to be that big and complicated, does it?
No Harry says, closing his eyes, No, I guess not. Its not like we can kiss anyone else, is it?
Its a repeat of what Louis told him yesterday, but its probably the most valid point there is.
Theyre going to keep this up for at least the next six months, and they cant risk getting caught or
it getting out if they hook up with someone else, so a little kiss here and there only seems like the
logical solution. Besides, theyre in public. Theyre supposed to be a sickeningly in love couple,
supposed to finally be out and proud, it only makes sense that they would be snogging left, right,
and center.
Exactly, Louis confirms.
Harry doesnt reply, burying his head in Louis wet hair instead. Louis holds him close, gently
rubbing his back as the water moves around them.
Im sorry, Louis murmurs eventually, taking a moment before clarifying, Im sorry that youre
saddled with this after all this closeting. You deserve to get to go out and find a boy to fall in love
with, someone you can have an actual relationship with without any of this, and I
Lou, Harry interrupts, voice odd. This is where I want to be.

The last thing Louis sees before he goes to sleep that night is a tweet from Sugarscape, linking him
to a video of him and Harry on the beach. He doesnt watch it, knows all too well what hell see.

The next month passes in a flurry of interviews, and interviews, and a few more interviews. Louis
and Harry do most with the other boys, but also a few by themselves. The general reception of
their coming out continues to be positive, though they do occasionally get slurs shouted after them
on the streets, and their mentions continue to be something that is best to stay out of, despite the
amount of people who also tweet them supportive things. The demand for a Larry Stylinson sex
tape trends worldwide on twitter more times than Louis dares think of, and according to PR their
mentions in the media are still going up steadily.
Though people are somewhat over the shock of their coming out and the announcement of their
relationship, it seems that theres still nothing the media loves more than to cover some sort of
story about Harry and Louis, whether it be that theyve gone grocery shopping or that they were
spotted being intimate at a restaurant. Of course it helps that they keep doing things that will
put them in the papers, that being the intent of the whole charade after all.
The amount of sources close to them that have commented on their romance has also been
ridiculous.
Theyve been living together since they returned from LA in the end of August, and here, nearly a
month later, it almost feels like theyve jumped into a time machine and gone back to the time
when they were still living together. Almost.
Theyve continued sharing a bed, even though they technically dont have to. Louis house has
plenty of spare rooms, and people rarely stop by unannounced. So.
When Louis had raised the question of their sleeping arrangements though, Harry had confessed
that he slept better when he wasnt alone in the bed, and Louis definitely wasnt one to protest.
There is something about sleeping intertwined with Harry that always grounds him, sort of, the
physical contact, or maybe just Harrys very presence, having an instant calming effect on him.
And it does help when people unaware of their relationship stop by, as there is no question that
Louis bedroom is inhabited by two people.
Nick had come by about a week after theyd returned from America, coincidentally a day when
Louis had been out with Zayn, but according to Harry who, for some reason, continued to be
steadfast in his decision not to tell Nick the truth he hadnt suspected a thing. According to
Harry he is also happy for the two of them Louis isnt so sure he believes that one.
All in all, their cohabitation is going well. Theyve settled into a routine that works for them,
learned how to live together under the circumstances theyre in now. Theyve even learned to
work around the awkward aspects, like when they wake up with the others hard-on pressed
against them. Its only natural after all. Its also perhaps the most depressing aspect of their
arrangement, the fact that his own hand is the only action hes going to see the next long while.
Not that Louis (or Harry for that matter, as far as Louis is aware) ever saw that much action. Its
kind of difficult what with being so heavily closeted. But he hadnt exactly been celibate for all
those years after coming to terms with his sexuality either, showbiz having no shortage of other
closeted celebrities, who it would be just as disastrous to be outed for. He has shagged his fair
share of musicians, actors, and even a sports player or two. All one night stands, any prospects of
an actual relationship being too complicated.
And even if it is an option that he hasnt used more than a handful of times a year, there is still
something to say about the possibility being taken away from him entirely. Even though he has
always kind of had to do with jacking himself off in the shower, he has always known that the
possibility for actual sex was there if he really, really needed it.
Now it isnt.
He and Harry might have eased into a routine where kissing in public has become more than
normal, but the very thought of doing more with him, or even bringing the kissing to their private
lives, seems ludicrous. They arent in a relationship and, as Harry had put it, theyre not going to
be required to do a sex tape or anything. Steering clear of shagging each other for the sole reason
of just needing someone seems to be the smartest choice.
Doesnt mean Louis doesnt find himself so fucking horny and sexually frustrated most of the
time, especially when Harry is such a good kisser and so bloody fit. Louis has kind of lost count
of the amount of times hes had to make out with Harry in a club or somewhere when theyve
been out, only for the thought of taking Harry back to bed now to cross his mind. He hardly thinks
anyone can blame him.
He wakes up plastered to Harrys back on a Wednesday towards the end of September, his hard
cock pressed against the fabric of Harrys tight boxers where theyre covering the cleft of his arse.
He has to restrain himself not to grind up into the contact, desperate for more friction even through
his haze of sleep. Its a miracle that he doesnt just go for it, a miracle that he still has some
semblance of understanding through his sleep muddled brain that this is Harry, that he absolutely
is not supposed to dry hump him until he comes.
He gets up instead, careful not to wake Harry, and goes to take a shower. They havent got
anything official on today, except for Harry promising to pick Lux up from school and take her to
the park while Lou has some errand to run. Louis figures he might as well tag along.
By the time hes out of the shower Harrys already up, having got the kettle on and is frying eggs
in the kitchen. Louis dresses in a pair of comfortable trackies and a t-shirt before joining him and
fixing their tea while Harry plates their breakfast.
They eat while checking this mornings headlines on their respective iPads, seeing two One
Direction related articles, one involving Zayn and Perrie, the other discussing Niall and Barbara,
though both manage to mention Harry and Louis relationship.
What are you doing today? Harry asks as hes rinsing their plates in the sink, before placing
them in the dishwasher, while Louis is putting away the butter and juice.
Thought I might tag along with you, if you dont mind? Havent seen Lux in agesI mean, he
backtracks, suddenly worried that Harry might have looked forward to a day without him, a day
with just Lux. He is her godfather, after all. I mean, unless you want to get in some quality time
just the two of you. I get that. I might play some FIFA then, um, maybe Ill call Stan, drive up to
visit him, I dont know, maybe
Louis, Harry interrupts his ramblings, laughing, Louis. Jesus, stop. No, I dont mind. Id love it
if youd come along. So would Lux. Shes in a right football-phase, shed probably appreciate it
loads not only to have me to play against, I think.
Louis hesitates for a second, unsure where the sudden bout of insecurity came from, before
nodding. Poor girl, having to settle for playing football against you.
Innit? Harry laughs, shaking his head as he dries his hands on a towel.
Tragedy, really. Louis says, nodding seriously.
Good thing youll be there to save the day, then.
Louis hums in agreement and steps away from the refrigerator, which he had been leaning against.
Im gonna go practice the piano, I think. Im still having a bit of trouble with the bridge of Little
Things, he shrugs, Come get me when youre ready to leave, yeah?
Harry nods, Of course.
Louis gives him a parting smile before making his way to the living room where hes got his
piano. It was actually Harry who had suggested having him play piano to a couple of their songs
on tour, figuring it would be something the fans would gobble up. So far theyve decided on
performing Little Things, Something Great and one of the songs from their new album in piano
versions. Louis wrote the song for their new album, so hes already got that one down on the
piano. Its coincidentally also their third single, their second being an upbeat happy one that they
shot the video for about a week ago. The third single, Louis song, is a slow ballad, haunting in its
melody, and theres talk about performing it at the X Factor finale in December, with Louis on
piano as the only musical arrangement.
He sits down at the piano, running his fingers lightly over the keys, feeling the coldness
underneath his fingers. He sighs, before placing his fingers over the keys hes to use for the
beginning of the song, then he starts to play.
For someone who had always loved the piano, but not really learned to play until recently, he
thinks hes got it down pretty well. His years in the music industry, where he has worked with
melodies, and lyrics, and singing in general, has developed his sense of rhythm quite extensively.
He lets his fingers drift over the keys, letting the familiar melody of the song hes been singing for
something like four years wash over him. He works on it diligently, humming the melody while
he plays over and over again, working on the bridge and the song overall, trying to reach the kind
of familiarity hes got with the songs hes written himself. He doesnt stop until he catches sight of
Harry out of the corner of his eye. He stops playing and turns to the younger man.
Time to go?
Almost, Harry says, advancing into the room and sitting down on the piano stool next to Louis.
Figured we should probably have a sandwich before driving, though.
Louis nods and makes to get up, only to be held down by Harrys hand on his thigh. He looks up
at him and cocks an eyebrow in question.
Play it for me one more time? Harry questions with a small grin. I love it when you play.
Louis smiles at the compliment before putting his fingers to the keys and starting to play. Harry
hums while he does so, a soft smile dancing on his lips when Louis looks at him. Hes got his eyes
closed. Louis knows that he was the one to approach Ed about doing a song for their second
album, knows that Ed had talked Little Things over with Harry before sitting down to write it
properly, knows that the song remains special to Harry even now, even after having written so
many songs himself.
When hes finishes, finger lingering on the last key, he looks up at him, meeting the younger
mans eyes as he slowly opens his own.
Good, Harry says eventually. S good, Lou. Youre so good. Its gonna be amazing live, this,
cant wait to hear it.
Louis nods, hoping that hell gain the kind of familiarity with it that he wont fear messing up live.
Tours still months off though, doesnt start until January, rehearsals not beginning before the
middle of November, so hes got plenty of time to get used to playing it. And learning Something
Great, which he technically hasnt even started with yet.
They make their way to the kitchen and eat the sandwiches Harry had prepared, before gathering
the things theyll need for their time with Lux. Once Harry decides theyve got everything, they
head to Louis car. Louis gets into the drivers seat and navigates the car down the streets while
Harry gives him directions to Luxs school.
They both get out of the car and walk to her school hand in hand. Shes not difficult to spot,
running at them as soon as she sees them, and jumping into Harrys waiting arms. Theyve clearly
missed each other, and Louis stays in the background as the two reunite. He hasnt seen Lux in a
while, doubts she even remembers who he is beyond what Lou and Harry have probably told her
about the band. Hes surprised then, when as soon as Harry sets her down, she flings herself at
Louis to give him a fierce hug.
Hi, love, Louis says quietly into her ear as they hug, and he looks up to get eye contact with
Harry who is watching the two of them fondly.
Looking past Harry he sees several people with their phones out, pointing at the three of them. He
pulls away from Lux and tries to shield her from their sight with his body. At least they all have
the decency to stay away from the three of them, surprising as it is.
He keeps a hand on Luxs shoulder, as he leans up and whisper in Harrys ear, I think we should
just drop the park idea and go back to the house and play.
Harry nods, evidently having seen the many camera phones as well. Yeah, he agrees, Lets
go.
They each grab one of Luxs hands and make their way to Louis car, chatting idly about her day
at school.
The day passes quickly, honestly the most fun Louis has had in ages. Lux is so enthusiastic and
happy, and it transfers to both Louis and Harry. By the time they go in to start dinner, theyre
frozen from the English autumn but all three of them have huge smiles painted on their faces.
They wash the dirt off their hands and make their way to the kitchen, all three of them. Harry puts
Lux and Louis to work chopping vegetables, while he marinates the meat. Lou and Tom are
coming for dinner before taking Lux home with them, and though Lou is one of the few on their
team who knows about their arrangement, and Louis suspects Tom knows about it by extension,
theyll still have to somewhat keep up appearances since Lux, much likes Louis siblings, is much,
much too young to understand the truth.
Louis is in the middle of chopping carrots with her when the doorbell rings. She hurries off the
stool shes been standing on in order to reach the counter, and makes her way towards the door,
Louis right behind her.
Turns out theyve timed it all perfectly, Harry putting the food on the table as Lou and Tom make
their way into the dining room. Its an impressive spread like always; potatoes, and meat, and a
salad which Lux proudly tells her parents she helped make.
Its all mindless chatter from there, the four adults steering clear of the issue of Harry and Louis
situation because of Lux. Its a nice evening, all in all, a good excuse to just not think about what
theyre doing, Lux working as a wonderful distraction.
She also serves to remind Louis, once again, how much he wants children, not right this second,
but he cant help but remember that hes really only getting older. Its kind of sad, sitting here as a
nearly twenty-five year old gay man in a fake relationship, he tries not to think about it too much.
When the three of them leave its late, Lux having fallen asleep in one of Louis spare rooms, and
Tom carries her to their car while Lou bids the two of them a proper goodbye. As soon as theyre
out of the door Harry sags against it, smiling tiredly up at Louis.
Im pooped, he says, running a hand through his unruly curls.
Louis chuckles and stretches, arching his back. Yeah, me too.
Harry nods his head before stepping away from the door, moving towards the stairs thatll lead
them upstairs to where their bedroom is. Lets go to bed, huh?
Louis follows him silently, the two of them slipping into their usual pre-bedtime routine which
theyve perfected over the last month. Louis gets into bed first, fiddling with his phone while
Harry strips down to his boxers. Once Harry deems himself ready for bed, he bends over it to pull
back the covers on his side, and Louis sees his opportunity to snap a photo, thinking of it as fan
service of the highest order. Just as hes about to take it, Harry notices, and he raises his finger,
pointing it at Louis.
Babe, you better not be taking a the sound of the camera shutter goes off picture of me
right now. He ends with a sigh.
Louis grins, entirely unapologetic. He settles back against his pillows, almost sighing as the
softness engulfs him, and sets about posting a tweet.
A moment later Harrys phone buzzes with a notification from across the room, making the
younger boy get up to get it.
Louis is quite satisfied with himself, if he has to say so. He goes back to playing QuizUp against
Zayn, answering two out of three correctly in the sports category and thereby keeping the two of
them tied, before his phone buzzes with a twitter notification. He looks up at Harry who is still
standing across the room, leaning against the wall, his hands crossed in front of him and his phone
clutched in one. Hes smirking at him, and Louis tries to give him his most unimpressed look
before looking down to check the tweet.
He contemplates what to write for a moment, looking up and catching Harrys eye, both of them
aware of how this somehow turned into a sort of competition. They are ridiculous, really.
He looks away from Harry first, having a tweet to focus on, and with a small smile types out
something that he very much doubts Harry is expecting.
It only takes Harry a moment to check the tweet and then look up at Louis with raised eyebrows.
Babycheeks? Really?
Louis laughs gleefully before snuggling further into the bed. Well, he says after a moments
silence. Did we not agree to break out the pet names?
Harry pushes away from the wall, shaking his head. Theres a small smile playing on his lips
though, so Louis figures theyre alright. He goes to close the curtains, darkening the room, before
he takes his phone again and tweets Louis back.
Louis has his phone ready, curious to see what hell reply, and checks it as soon as the notification
ticks in.
He lets out a surprised laugh, remembering their first interview after coming out. The fans are
going to have a field day with this one, he states with a smirk directed at Harry, who nods, smile
mirrored.
It feels kind of mean, but I also kind of love riling them up Harry confesses, making his way
to the bed as Louis types in a tweet in reply before pushing send.
Harrys phone goes off just as hes sat down on the bed.
Harry laughs out loud when he reads the tweet, and Louis presses a satisfied smile into his pillow.
The last thing he registers before falling asleep is Harrys reply.

Chapter End Notes
Okay, wow. This was a proper drag to get up - all those tweets took ages and I'm
proper knackered now. Let me know what you think?
Now...... bad news. I'm not going to update next week because I'll be in the middle of
writing a week long exam in theatre and culture politics, sorry. Sorry sorry sorry
sorry. Next update will be two weeks from now (it's some chapter you'll be getting,
sooo.......)
If you need more And Then a Bit until then, check out the character asks, or send
some of your own if there's something you're curious about.
It'd also mean a lot if you'd reblog the masterpost for the fic. Or just come say hi on
tumblr.
See you here in two weeks xx
VII
Chapter Notes
As always a massive, massive thank you to Jess and Loo for making this readable.
And to Nina for giving me a virtual pat on the head, and encouraging me to leave the
flat to buy chocolate whenever this or my exam looked too glum. You're a babe!
Thank you to all of you who read it, and leave comments, and kudos, and come talk
to me on tumblr - means a very much a lot. And thank you for your patience, I hope
this chapter will help with the fact that there wasn't one last week.
Enjoy?
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Billedet blev taget p en sommerdag
Jeg finder det frem og alting vender tilbage
Os to i parken i morgenens tge
Jeg viser dig mit billede og du hvisker til mig
Jeg har aldrig holdt af nogen som jeg holder af dig
Du ved hvad jeg tnker uden jeg siger noget
(Marie Key De her dage)

CHAPTER VII:
Okay, Ben says as he steps back into the room. Right. Were just gonna talk the concept over
one last time before we start filming, yeah?
Louis nods from the sofa where hes sitting next to Harry, cuddled up in the younger mans
embrace. Its early, like really, really early (alright, its 9.30 in the morning, but it feels very, very
early to Louis, and theyve been up for a while, okay?), and Louis is just tired. So, so tired. Harry
is warm, and soft, and comfortable, and theyre surrounded by people theyre supposed to look
like a couple in front of, so Harrys arms are totally fair game.
Theyre shooting the video for the third and last single of their new album today. The album is
being released tomorrow, and Louis is feeling quite optimistic about it. Their second video and
single were released two weeks ago, and with two videos and two singles out, the reception so far
has been beyond everything they dared hope for before Modest! had suggested their charade. The
massive media attention given to Harry and Louis, and PRs tireless work to make sure that their
new album and tour was mentioned in each and every one of the articles discussing their
relationship, seems to have paid off. Thank God. Louis would hate to think that they were doing
all of this for the good of nothing.
The video theyre about to shoot is the ballad out of the three of their singles, a song Louis wrote
himself. Hes quite honoured that its been chosen as a single, to be honest. Its to be a black and
white video, as far as Louis has understood, somewhat reminiscent of the Little Things one. All of
them have just gone through make up, hair, and wardrobe, with the only thing left to do being
waiting for the actual shooting to begin.
So, Ben says, drawing Louis attention back to him. They had considered if they wanted to try
their hands at a new director for their new videos, but had ultimately decided to keep Ben, mostly
out of loyalty, probably. He was good, though, Ben. Still. The two first videos hed made for this
album had been great, so Louis has high hopes for this as well. The song is kind of his baby.
As you know, were going with no visible scenery or props except for the piano Louis will be at.
Were going for sentimentality, were going for the dramatic effect. Were putting you in a kind of
black box, or white box really, and I want you different places, sometimes a couple of you
together, sometimes all alone, and then youre all moving to stand around Louis piano towards
the end of the song. Well be playing around a lot with light and shadows.
Harry, I think were going to try to place you on the piano stool with Louis. Im supposed to make
sure theres plenty of love in the air between you two, He pauses and looks meaningfully at the
way theyre curled around each other on the sofa, But I suppose that wont be too difficult. How
you managed to hide this for a year without any of us suspecting is beyond me.
Louis offers him a sheepish smile while he reaches down to take Harrys hand, squeezing gently.
Theyd discussed it early, who they were going to tell the truth to, and theyd both agreed that it
was smartest to let as few people as possible know. The only two on their team who would know
were Lou and Paul, everyone else knew just as much as the general public. It was best that way,
least amount of risk. Didnt mean it felt good lying to their close friends.
Anyway, Ben continues, Lets get this show on the road. Come on, boys. He motions with
his arm towards the door he just entered through. They get up one by one, stretching and
yawning, and sluggishly make their way towards the door. Louis will never understand why an
inside shoot needs to start this early, but here they are.
The location is pretty boring compared to what theyve previously had to work with, it being
literally just a big empty room where everything from the walls, to the ceiling, to the floor is white.
To the left of the room stands a big, beautiful piano. Its sleek and black, but with a sort of timeless
feel to it.
Louis moves towards it automatically, running his hand over its shiny surface when he reaches it.
He feels someone come up behind him, identifies the person as Harry as soon as he feels hands
snake around his middle and lips press against the back of his head. He feels him move his head,
hooking it over his shoulder until their cheeks are pressed together.
The camera is already shooting behind the scenes footage. Harry murmurs, quiet enough that
no one but Louis will hear.
Louis turns around in his embrace so that theyre standing close, chests pressed together. Okay,
he says, hands resting on Harrys shoulders.
Harry smiles at him softly, hands still around him, holding him loosely. So, I was thinking, he
starts, dropping his hands and taking a step back, That maybe you could try teaching me the
chorus while we wait to start?
Louis grins, totally on board with that suggestion. Hes tried teaching Harry to play small melodies
on the piano about a billion and one times, but the younger man just doesnt seem to possess the
skills required for playing. Hes definitely much more of a guitar man, which he has mastered
quite well over the past few years.
Sit down, love, Louis instructs, gesturing towards the stool. He moves towards it himself, sitting
down next to Harry and begins to instruct him as well as he can. Its just as hopeless as Louis
knew it would be, but theyre both a laughing, giggling mess all the way through, which he
knows must translate well onto the camera. Ben definitely cant accuse them of not giving him
anything to work with.
Their impromptu piano lesson must end sooner rather than later though, as Ben deems everyone
ready to begin. Theres always so much waiting around during video shoots, and Louis finds it
especially hard to pass time when theyre supposed to be quiet on top of waiting, cant even have
a conversation. He supposes he could go into the other room, but on the other hand you never
know when its your time to be filmed, and youll have an entire angry filming crew after you if
youre nowhere to be found. Plus, theyre constantly shooting footage for the behind the scenes
video, and that works rather badly if they arent present in the room.
Somehow he and Harry end up lying on the floor together, Louis head resting against Harrys
sternum. Harry is running his fingers through the hairs at his neck, careful not to ruin what Lou
spent half an hour perfecting. Its very peaceful really, lulling Louis straight into slumber.
He isnt sure how long it really is, but it only feels like seconds before hes roused awake by a
hand on his shoulder. Apparently its time to film the part where hes alone by the piano, the
opening sequence, and hes not really required to do much but play the melody on the piano while
looking sombre, smouldering a bit at the camera. Its quick work.
Basically the entire shoot goes by quickly. Its mainly just sitting around and singing, the real
work being in the editing of it. Louis and Harry film the part where theyre by the piano, just the
two of them, without trouble, all theyre required to do being to look at each other fondly and sing.
Its not exactly difficult to do. Eventually they make it to the part where they film all five of them
together surrounding the piano, and eventually Ben calls it a day.
Theyve only had a short break for lunch halfway through, so Louis is happy to finally be done,
and ready to curl up in front of the TV with a bowl of spaghetti and a beer or something. Once
theyve gathered their things, he links his fingers with Harrys, sure that quite the crowd must have
assembled outside the studio theyre in. Louis will never understand how the fans always manage
to find them wherever they are, even now when, although theyve been aiming towards a more
mature audience, they still seem to attract the girls (and boys) in their late teens, who apparently
have nothing better to do than stake out their locations in the hope of a photo or an autograph,
but they do, and the dedication has to be impressive if nothing else.
His suspicions are confirmed a few minutes later when they exit the building to find a group of
people waiting. He has long ago come to accept the fact that hes just not the kind of person who
will always think its brilliant to sign autographs and pose for pictures. Some days its just the
very, very last thing you want to do. Its easier when Harrys there with him, more tolerable, but
still. Today is one of those days where Louis would rather curl up in a corner and never see nor
speak to a stranger ever again.
Harry seems to notice somehow, squeezing his hand and gently stroking the back of it with his
thumb. Its soothing. Its nice, yes.
Itll be over with quickly, yeah? Harry murmurs quietly, intended for Louis ears only.
Yeah, Louis breathes. Sorry. Im just
Dont worry, Lou, He smiles tentatively, looking sideways and catching his eyes. Lets just get
home, yeah?
And somehow they do. Its mainly to Harrys credit probably, as he somehow manages to appease
the fans and Louis need to get home as quickly as possible, simultaneously. True miracle worker
that boy, really. Louis is impressed. Always so impressed. Harry is an impressive human. The
most impressive, probably. Yes.
And they were perfectly nice and polite, most of the fans whod been waiting outside, so thats not
even it, its just, like, well. Would they be here if not for the fact that Harry and he had announced
their relationship? Would they just have scoffed at One Direction, if their interests hadnt been
piqued by their coming out?
Louis doesnt know.
It doesnt really matter, though, is the thing. Theyre here now, and thats what matters, isnt it? It
is. It really, really is.
But its been two months, and it still hits Louis with crippling force sometimes, the fact that theyre
out, that hes out. Holy, fucking shit, hes out. Some days he wants nothing more than to curl up
under the covers in his bed, cant bear the thought of facing the world.
Other days he feels so fucking relieved. So fucking happy that he can just be himself. So grateful
to Harry, and in some twisted way to management and PR, for giving him the kick that he needed
in order to be who he really is. Hes not sure he would or could have ever gotten to this point
alone, but most days hes so, so happy that he is.
Once theyre home, Harry feeds him and they cuddle up on the sofa to watch a movie, before
dragging their exhausted bodies to bed earlier than Louis would ever admit to going to sleep. Its
all good.


Louis Tomlinson, Louis hears someone shout out laughingly from behind him. He turns around
and is met with Greg James. Its been ages since theyve seen each other, but of course Greg is
here now. Its the release party for their album, after all, and as far as Louis knows, most of Radio
1 has been invited.
Mate, Louis smiles, as Greg sidles up next to him by the bar, gesturing to the bartender to give
him a beer. Been ages, hasnt it? You good?
Absolutely, Greg grins, taking a drink out of the bottle hes just been handed. So are you, Im
guessing. New album, new tour soon new boyfriend?
Louis shrugs, smiling gently. Not so new the last one.
New for us, innit? Had all of us fooled for a year, impressive that. Nick is quite put out that he
couldnt tell. Its good?
Yeah, Louis confirms. Yeah, its really good.
Heard your new album too, bro. Its sick. Gonna be a massive hit, Im sure.
Hope so. Louis nods, fiddling with the label on his bottle of beer.
You should come by! Yeah. Do some innuendo bingo with me, bring the lads, or just bring
Harry, the listeners would love to have you and Harry in
Someone say my name? A voice interrupts Greg from behind Louis. Harrys voice. Louis twists
his head to see him walking closer, until hes right behind Louis, settling his arms around his waist
and bending down a little to give him a kiss in greeting, Louis twisting his head around to reach
him.
Was just telling Louis the two of you ought to come do some innuendo bingo with me, Greg
fills Harry in with a smile.
Oh, yeah, mate, he gushes, smile big as he leans his head against Louis. Thatd be sick.
Brilliant, Greg grins, before pushing away from the bar, beer in hand. Ill give you a call
sometime, yeah? It was great catching up, Louis. And Harry. He takes a step away, and then
pauses before turning all the way around. Oh, he says. Im really happy for you, by the way.
Really happy. He gives them a nod and a wave, and then he disappears into the crowd.
There are so many people here tonight. So many. All here to celebrate the release of their album,
and its a little bit mad to think that its actually out there now. Released this morning. This very
minute there are people all over the world who are listening to it. There are critics listening to it as
Louis stands here with Harry, sipping on his beer, moving closer and closer to tipsy. Tomorrow
hes going to wake up to hopefully no hangover and one review after the next, giving their
professional opinion on the album theyve worked their arses off on. Its always nerve-wracking,
but even more so with this album, when every song on there is their own, every decision made
bears their print. This is their album, through and through.
He turns around in Harrys arms so that theyre facing each other, resting his hands on Harrys
chest.
Hi, Harry says, small smile playing on his lips.
Hi.
I didnt interrupt anything, he looks concerned suddenly. Did I?
Louis shakes his head to reassure the younger man. Nope, he says, popping the p. We really
were just talking about innuendo bingo.
Thatd be fun, right? I think thatd be fun.
Sure, Louis nods, grinning, because yes! it would be fun. We should definitely suggest it to
PR.
Harry nods, but doesnt comment further. Louis suddenly wonders what he actually wanted since
he came to find him. He voices this out loud.
Dunno, Harry shrugs, looking slightly bashful. I just hadnt seen you in a while, wanted to see
where you were at.
Louis grins back at him, spreading his arms. Here I am.
Here you are. A moment, then, Heydo you maybe wanna get really, really drunk?
That startles a laugh out of Louis, and he frees himself from Harrys arms and flags down the
bartender. Turning to Harry, he raises an eyebrow in challenge. Shots?
Harry nods, confirms. Bring it on, Tomlinson.
Everything beyond that is a bit fuzzy around the edges.

So. Louis is drunk. Or, well, drunk doesnt even begin to cover it. Louis is pissed. Shit-faced.
Sloshed, bombed, plastered, and any other adjective you can find that might accurately convey
just how much alcohol hes consumed. Hes not picky.
Its all Harrys fault anyway. Like, probably. Great oaf of a person that he is. All Harrys fault. Its
unfair, actually, yes. Definitely unfair. Like, there should be some sort of rule set regarding size
difference in drinking competitions to make up for the extra amount of alcohol big people can
drink. Its preposterous that there isnt, is what it is.
So, yes. Conclusion: Harrys fault.
Not that the younger man is faring much better than Louis, if truth be told. Last time Louis had
seen him, he was standing on top of a table with Niall, belting out traditional Irish songs. Harry
didnt know the words, of course. A sight for sore eyes, really.
This party has been smashing it, yes, one for the ages, and record books, and worthy of the Queen
or, err, something. Good. Yes. Everything has just been great. Is great. Present tense, currently
ongoing. Louis is never going to bed, no. This party isnt overrated, but sleep definitely is. Maybe
if he never goes to sleep, this party, this night, will never end, and they wont have to get up early
tomorrow with massive headaches to get the worlds verdict on their latest album.
Partying until the end of eternity doesnt sound so bad, Louis thinks. Hes got Harry and his boys,
hes got music and beer, hes got
Nick Grimshaw.
Tomlinson, the older man greets him, as he sits down in the booth Louis has been occupying in
an attempt to make the world stop spinning. Louis is just on the wrong, or the right, depending
how you look at it, side of too drunk to tackle Nick Grimshaw.
Grimshaw, he says, thankfully not slurring, because even though the man opposite him is
clearly just as intoxicated as he is, being drunk is a weakness, and you do not reveal your
weaknesses to your enemies or something. Fuck. Louis really is drunk.
Tomlinson, Nick repeats, grinning.
Louis is about to say something (rude, probably, lets be honest), but then Nicks entire
demeanour changes, going from snooty to serious in two seconds flat.
Louis, he says, seriously, which, well, Louis wasnt aware Nick Grimshaw actually knew how
to be serious (or that he knew Louis name). (That was mean and uncalled for, but Louis is drunk.
And. Sorry.)
We havent talked since you and Harold came out with your relationship and lets be clear
here, mate, I do so blame you for Harry keeping me in the dark about this for a fucking year
but, he clears his throat, avoiding eye contact with Louis in favour of examining the sticky table
between them. A moment passes, and then he looks up again, catches his eyes once more. He
looks so earnest, which is strange. So strange. Such an odd expression to bear here in the middle
of a crowded club at god knows what time of the night, when hes got a shot stain down the front
of his shirt and his stupid, curly quiff is sweaty and well past its prime. Louis shouldnt talk, hes
probably far worse off.
Im really fucking happy for you two.
See that wasnt where Louis had thought things were going. Not at all. Kind of a curve-ball that,
out of the blue kind of shit, really.
Really, Nick continues. I mean, Im not going to lie, for a fucking long time I didnt think it
was ever going to happen, thought you had your head stuck too far up your arse to see that the
best thing you could ever wish for was right fucking in front of you. And he was so bloody
miserable for so long, so, just. Im really happy for you. Havent seen Harry this happy for ages,
probably in all the time Ive known him. Youre good for each other, and I can see that. Fuck, the
entire world can see that. Youve gotten what? Five angry tweets? There isnt even any backlash,
which, dont get me wrong, its exactly how it should be. But. Like, not exactly what was
expected, is it?
Louis isnt sure what to say, but luckily Grimshaw doesnt seem to need an actual reply.
And, Iwe both know it pains me greatly to say this, Tomlinson, but I wanted to bury the hach
hathatchet once and for all, Nick slurs, words tumbling out of his mouth like he cant get
this part of the conversation over with quickly enough. Louis sympathises. I know I was kind of
nasty to you sometimes, but in my defence you were making poor Harold fucking miserable, and
hes my best friend, so I didnt exactly think you were the greatest of people. Nick pauses for a
moment, and Louis is so fucking confusedwhat the fuck is Nick talking about?! Hes far too
drunk to even attempt to make sense of it all. But now youre making him happy, so. What do
you say, eh? Put the past behind us? Civility, for Harrys sake if for nothing else?
For Harrys sake. Right. Now theres something Louis can agree to. Making Harry happy. Yes,
he wants nothing more. Really. If making Harry happy was an actual job, sign Louis right up, put
him down for tenure, one of those 50 years at the same firm kinda careers, hell fucking yes. Louis
is on board for that, definitely.
Nick is looking at him expectantly, and, right, theyre having a conversation. Nick proposed
something. Louis is supposed to answer.
He nods.
Nick smiles, and extends his hand. Louis takes it, shaking the older mans bigger one. It engulfs
his smaller one, but its nowhere near as nice as it is when its Harrys hand. Everything is nicer
with Harry.
Am I seeing things, a voice says from next to Louis. He looks away from Nick, startled, their
hands still clutched. Its Harry, and a smile blooms on Louis face instinctively. Or are the two of
you shaking hands? Is this like a drunken hallucination?
No hallucination, young Harold. Louis and I have decided to let bygones be bygones, so to
speak.
Harrys dimples deepen as his smile widens, and Louis thinks that, yes, definitely, Harrys dimples
are his very favourite feature of his. He scoots over in the booth, silently offering Harry the new
space created next to him to settle down on.
Harry does so, plastering himself close against him, and throwing his arm over his shoulder,
pulling him even closer.
Hi. He grins dopily at him, eyes clouded, and curls sweaty and wild. If he hesitates, its only for
a fraction of a second, and then hes leaning closer to Louis, sealing their lips together.
Kissing Harry is great, it really, really is. And, like, often drunk kissing can be really gross, all lack
of coordination, and too much spit, and justno. But not with Harry. Kissing is literally always
fantastic with Harry. In all honesty, Louis thinks that they could probably kiss anywhere, anytime,
in any state, and it would still be bloody brilliant. Probably the best kissing Louis has ever done, if
hes being honest, but hes not quite ready to delve into that territory.
He brings his hand to Harrys cheek on instinct, running his tongue over his bottom lip, prompting
the younger man to open his mouth and allow Louis entrance. Its like the rest of the world sort of
ceases to exist when they kiss, Louis thinks. Like its a gateway to a world that only belongs to
him and Harry, like time stops and nothing matters but the feel of Harry under his fingertips,
against his lips; the feel of Harrys hands as they settle in his hair, or on his cheek, his neck,
against his chest, his waist. There is literally no place on Louis that Harry could touch without
igniting a fire in Louis skin, his body responding even to the smallest ghost of a touch from him.
Ahem, Nick clears his throat, forcing Louis and Harry to separate their lips reluctantly. I get
that youre all out and shit, but maybe you shouldnt be trying to snog each others faces off when
in the presence of others, and
Bugger off, Grimshaw! Louis interrupts, tugging slightly at Harrys curls where his hand is still
buried. The younger boys eyes flutter shut.
Nick grins, seeming to have taken no offence at all. Alright then. Harry, Tomlinson, I expect to
be invited for dinner soon, but Ill let you go back to exchanging DNA now. Remember boys, sex
is cleaner with a packaged wiener. No glove, no love!
It takes Louis a moment to process Nicks words, and the next thing he knows he has Harrys face
pressed into his neck, the younger man groaning.
Louis might be drunk, but he will not be bested by Nick Grimshaw. They might have struck a
tentative truce, and a sort of somewhat timid friendship, but he has his pride. He raises his
eyebrow, doing his best to appear unaffected, aloof. Weve been together for a year, mate. Were
well past the stage where condoms are a must.
Nicks grin remains, and he nods at Louis, Harrys face still tucked into his neck, and hes starting
to kiss along his exposed collarbones, biting slightly. Louis just manages to keep back a moan, but
he cant prevent his eyes from fluttering shut, and when he opens them a few seconds later, its to
the sight of Nicks retreating back.
He turns his attention back to Harrys ministrations, tangling his hand in the younger mans curls
and tugging his head back gently. Harry whines slightly as his lips get dragged from where theyd
been sucking a bruise into Louis collarbone.
For a second theyre just looking at each other, not saying anything, his hand still buried in
Harrys curls. Harrys eyes are big, his pupils dilated. Then hes slinging his leg over Louis,
straddling him, and he will never understand how drunk Harry seems to be more graceful than
sober Harry right now, but there you are. He barely manages to process that hes got a lap full of
Harry, before the younger man is leaning in for another kiss, capturing his bottom lip between his
teeth and biting down gently, teasingly.
From there on out its a dance of tongues, hot and wet and so, so good. Harrys lips are a little
sticky, and he tastes like vodka and something sweet strawberry, Louis thinks, probably. He
wouldnt be surprised if he had been drinking strawberry daiquiris, sipping them through a straw
settled between his luscious lips, cheeks hollowed as he sucks, licking up the trail that makes its
way down his chin
Louis groans into Harrys mouth at the same time as he grinds down into Louis lap. He had
barely registered it before, through the haze of the kissing and the constant buzzing going through
his entire body, and the feel of Harry, just Harry, Harry everywhere, but hes half hard already,
half hard in his skin tight jeans, which definitely leave nothing to the imagination. Half hard from
kissing and now grinding against his best mate. Shit, Louis is a special kind of fucked up, and
now Harry knows, must surely feel Louis dick, andfuck, Harry is hard too.
He can feel it, can feel what has to be Harrys dick, as he grinds down against him again, their
cocks making contact through the two layers of fabric, and its not enough. Its not enough. Louis
doesnt think he has ever been this sexually frustrated in all of his near twenty-five years of living.
Ever. He wants nothing more than to bend Harry over the table in the booth, sink into him from
behind, deeper and deeper until hes buried inside of him, buried inside the tight heat of his perfect
little bum.
Or have Harry buried in him, really, fuck, Louis is so not picky.
Lou, Lou, Harry pants hotly and somewhat (very much) desperately in his ear, as he continues
to grind down into his lap in small rocking motions. Please, Lou, fuck, please he trails off,
biting lightly at Louis earlobe before nosing down his cheek and then mouthing at his scruffy
jawline. Lou, he mutters again, as his mouth finds Louis once more, and shit if this isnt the
hottest thing Louis has ever done, probably, Christ, and they havent even taken off their clothes.
Lou, please the words are somewhat lost in Louis mouth, but the sentiment remains, and in
all honesty he cant come up with a single good reason why they shouldnt hail a cab and get the
fuck home, out of their clothes, and into their bed right fucking now.
Up, up, he mutters against Harrys mouth, pulling his hair again to detach their lips. The
younger man moans wantonly, grinding down harder against Louis, and Louis is suddenly
reminded of back when hed bitten Harrys collarbone, realises that he already knows some of
what Harry likes in bed. He tugs again, slightly harder this time, and Harrys mouth falls open and
his eyes fall shut simultaneously.
Up, he repeats impatiently, rocking his hips against Harrys as much as he can whilst pinned
under the younger mans weight. Fuck, love, up, up. Lets get home, please, fuck, bed. Naked.
Come on, come on! Louis is beyond making coherent sentences, head nothing but a haze of
Harry, and need, and justjust so much fucking desire for the man in his lap that he doesnt think
he can last as much as twenty seconds more of this without coming in his pants.
Yes. Fuck, yes! Harry gasps out, finally catching on to what Louis is getting at. Yes, take me
home, please, fuck, yes. Louis. Want you to fuck me, fuck me so hardfuck, Louis bites down
at Harrys collarbone, hard enough to leave a mark, effectively cutting him off.
Up! he repeats urgently, quite sure that if Harry continues to talk about anyone fucking anyone
he will surely come untouched, and that is so not on, not when hes a taxi ride away from what
hes pretty sure will be his best shag ever.
Harry scrambles off of him faster than he had thought the drunk man could move, and extends his
hand to him, pulling him out of the booth. He weaves them through the crowded club, not pausing
to say goodbye to anyone, not pausing to alert security of their hasty exit, not even pausing to grab
their coats, and pulls him out through the front entrance of the club.
Theres a sea of paparazzi outside, because of fucking course there is, but at present moment Louis
has honestly never cared less. Hes perfectly aware of how they both must look, perfectly aware
of how their dicks must be visibly straining against the dark denim of both of their jeans, but he
cant bring himself to give a shit.
Theyre clutching each others hand, walking as close as possible without risking tripping over
each others feet, and ignoring the paparazzi to the best of their abilities. Theres a taxi, just a
regular taxi by the curb, and as neither of them paused to call an actual car on their way out, they
get into it.
The first thing Harry does after Louis has rattled off the address to the taxi driver, is lean into him
and connect their lips once again. His hand slides down to cup him through his jeans, and Louis
moans into the kiss, tangling his hand in his soft locks, as has quickly become his favourite thing
to do when theyre snogging, and tugging at it, making Harry moan in turn.
He can see the camera flashes through his closed eyes as he continues kissing Harry, knows these
windows arent tinted and that the paps must have a free-for-all view of them snogging, of Harrys
hand covering Louis dick, andfuck, hes hard pressed to come up with anything that he has
cared less about ever.
So, so what if theyre going to be plastered across every news site come tomorrow morning, if this
doesnt just scream authenticity, Louis doesnt know what would.
Also, hes not giving up Harrys lips on his or Harrys hand on his dick for anything.
The thought that this might be the very worst idea either of them has ever had only crosses Louis
mind briefly, before he dismisses the thought, too far gone to do anything about it at this stage
anyway, so he might as well enjoy it.
The taxi ride to their house feels simultaneously like the longest and shortest trip of Louis life.
They dont stop kissing, except to catch their breath when necessary, and they use these breaks to
kiss along each others necks, over their collarbones, over their shoulders through the fabric of
their respective t-shirts.
The cab driver must surely be sick of them by now, and Louis distractedly notes to remember to
tip him generously, before turning his full attention back to Harry. Hes so fucking hard in his
jeans that hell be hard pressed (ha, fuck, Harryd be proud) not to come the second he gets skin to
skin contact on his dick.
Hes going to fuck Harry, though, yes, that he will. This might be the very last time theyre ever
doing this, and hes not going to come this close to fucking the most beautiful man on the planet,
only to let it slip away because he has the stamina of a sixteen year old.
God, he hopes hell get to have Harry inside of him too. He nearly moans out loud at the thought,
wants to feel the younger man stretch him open, fill him up. He wants every single thing with
Harry, wants to shag him until neither of them can walk, until their throats are hoarse and sore,
until Harrys got beard burn between his thighs and his arse cheeks, until Louis has bruises littered
all over his body.
The taxi pulls to a stop and Louis fishes out all of the notes in his wallet, doesnt even bother to
count it, knows that there is more than enough to cover the fare and give the driver a much
deserved tip.
Next thing he knows, Harry is pulling him out of the car and into his embrace, catching his lips
again and pressing closer, closer, closer against him, until there isnt as much as a millimetre
between them and he can feel every plane of his body against him. Harry is desperately grinding
their clothed cocks together in small circles, whilst also trying to walk Louis backwards towards
the house.
Louis is all but delirious with lust, and they stumble, nearly falling several times, until Harry takes
matters into his own hands and hoists him up from the ground. Louis wraps his legs around his
middle by instinct, having barely registered that the younger man is now carrying him towards the
house as they continue to snog. Harrys hands are settled on his bum, spread out and covering
each cheek, and Louis cant help but imagine those hands running all over his naked skin,
covering so much, covering everything; cant help but imagine those fingers teasing him open,
moving inside of him, rubbing against his prostate.
Fuck. Louis grinds against him as well as he can in their current position, pressing his dick against
his stomach, and then his arse against his cock when he moves back. It elicits a moan from Harry
when he makes contact, and the younger man stumbles forward slightly, ending up with Louis
backed against the front door, Harrys body pressed into his, covering him as they continue to
kiss. Hands are wandering freely now, Louis currently running over Harrys bare, muscular back
underneath his shirt, while Harry has one under his arse, holding him up, and the other cupping
his cheek, keeping his head right where it is.
They pull apart after a moment, when air is desperately needed, and for a few seconds nothing can
be heard other than their gasping breaths, and Louis own heart thudding away steadily. Tha-
dump, tha-dump, tha-dump. Surely its so loud Harry must be able to hear it too?
Lou, he says then, breaking the silence. Fuck, Lou. Youre so hot, so bloody beautiful. Wanted
this He traces kisses along Louis jaw, Wanted this for
Haz, Louis interrupts him breathlessly, tugging his mouth away from him by pulling his hair
again. Come on, Haz. Inside. We needlet me downinside. Bed. We need
Yesinside, yes, Harry blabbers, releasing his hold on him and putting him down gently. Once
Louis is on his feet again, he wastes no time before he spins around, fishing his key from his
pocket and unlocking the door only fumbling a bit more than usual, which he counts as a clear
victory.
He doesnt think hes ever moved through his house as quickly as he and Harry do then, and that
includes the time he very nearly missed the beginning of a Man U game hed been excited for all
week because hed been stuck in traffic. Its almost like in the blink of an eye this time, one
second theyre in the hall, and the next theyre in Louis room. If he didnt know better, hed have
sworn they must have apparated or something.
Harry allows him no chance to second guess what theyre doing, tugging him in for yet another
kiss. If Louis had been more sober, hed probably have questioned how clever it was to shag his
best friend, but as it is, though he is starting to sober a little, hes still far too drunk to care. Much
too drunk to say no to Harry when hes right in front of him, willing and gorgeous, and Louis
wants him so fucking bad.
Harrys hands snake their way underneath his t-shirt, making contact with his naked skin, and shit,
Louis feels like he might as well have died and gone to heaven. His lips trail down his neck,
starting to suck yet another bruise into his collarbone as Louis gets his hands under his plaid shirt,
unbuttoning the few buttons not left open, before sliding it off his shoulders, leaving the taller man
naked from the waist up. Louis hands run over his toned chest, feeling the contrast between his
hard abs and soft hips, and, shit, its like he was carved by the Gods, like someone has taken the
specifics in Louis mind defining the perfect male body and created Harry. Hes so fucking fit, so
big and broad, and hard and soft, and Louis must have seen him shirtless more than hes seen
anyone, bar himself, without a shirt, and yet it cant even begin to compare to now, when he gets
to touch. Harry has always been beautiful, in that abstract wow-Im-not-blind-youre-quite-the-
hottie way, but its so, so different now that hes here in front of him, his to touch and admire and
Jesus.
his hands travel further down, brushing gently over Harrys bulge, only the ghost of a touch,
before popping the button of his jeans and shoving them down to mid-thigh along with his pants.
His cock springs free, already fully hard and flushed, precome beading out of the slit. Hes got
such a fucking gorgeous cock, big and heavy in Louis hand as he takes hold of it, prompting a
guttural moan from Harry.
Lou, he gasps, as Louis hand slides down his dick, thumb stroking over the slit and collecting
the precome there to make the slide of his hand easier. Lou, please, he moans, clutching Louis
shoulders in what appears to be an effort to remain standing. Hes so affected, so affected by every
single little touch of Louis, and Louis loves it.
Lou, I cantIm gonna he gasps, as Louis squeezes the base of his cock before taking a
step back.
Jeans off and get on the bed, he orders, overwhelmed and trying to clear his head.
Harry nods, nearly tripping over his own two feet in his haste to do as Louis said. Louis busies
himself with shedding his own clothes, pulling his t-shirt over his head and ridding himself of his
jeans and pants at the same time. Once hes naked he looks up to see Harry lying shamelessly
naked on their bed, propped up by his elbows and watching him with poorly concealed want. He
would probably feel self-conscious, standing naked in front of Harry, who is arguably the fittest
bloke on the planet, but its impossible with the way hes looking at him like hes the most
exquisite thing in the world. Its intoxicating.
He moves closer to the bed, stands there briefly just watching Harry, before he gets up onto the
mattress, crawling forward until hes encasing Harry with his body as best he can with the size
difference. He holds Harrys wrists pinned to the bed, and he leans down to capture his lips in yet
another kiss, still not tired of it, though it feels like theyve done nothing but kiss all night.
Hes keeping up his weight with his hands and knees, not touching Harry besides the connection
between their lips and hands, and the younger man tries to buck up, seeking some kind of friction
for his cock. Louis takes pity on him and moves one hand down to take a hold of his length.
Harry arches his back with a moan into his mouth as soon as Louis hand makes contact. As soon
as Louis pulls their lips apart to breathe, hes blabbering a string of please and want you and
Lou, fuck me, please fuck me! while snaking the hand no longer pinned to the bed down along
Louis body until its cupping his balls and then loosely pumping his cock, as best Harry can
without some kind of lubrication.
Louis hisses, squeezing the younger mans dick as Harry makes contact with his, which only
makes Harry moan louder.
Okay, okay, he mutters as he slaps Harrys hand away from his dick, unable to think straight.
They need lube, right, they do. Lube and condoms. and they need them right now, because Louis
honestly doesnt think hell last even a minute if Harry keeps his hand on him. Its been ages,
okay?
He draws back from Harry, ignoring the whimpers of protest he lets out, and reaches for the lube
and condoms he knows are lying in the drawer of his bed table. He manages to grab both, and
draws back to him, placing the items next to his head.
Are you sure? Louis asks, needing the confirmation before they do something theyll never get
to undo.
Fuck, yes, Harry breathes, reaching up to grip Louis cock in a loose grip again. Please.
Okay, okay, Louis babbles, nods, as he bats his hand away again, reaching for a pillow behind
him, the younger boy bending his knees and lifting his bum off the mattress for him to place the
pillow under him, giving Louis a better angle to work at. He takes the lube and coats two fingers
before leaving the bottle uncapped next to Harry.
He crawls backwards a bit until his head is level with Harrys pelvis. He uses his lube free hand to
spread apart the cheeks of Harrys arse, and he rubs a lube sticky finger against his hole while he
bends down and runs his tongue along the vein on the underside of Harrys dick, exposed from
the way its resting against his stomach.
the way its resting against his stomach.
Harry moans loudly, body shuddering slightly, though he remains otherwise still good boy,
Louis thinks absent-mindedly, as he circles his rim. Harry fists his hands in the sheets, and moans
even louder, as Louis pushes his first finger inside of him, while taking the head of his cock in his
mouth. Harrys so tight and hot around his finger, impossibly tight, and Louis is struck by how
insane it is that hes supposed to fit himself inside of that.
Louis quickly works towards two fingers, and then three, curling them and rubbing them against
Harrys prostate, making him arch his back and mutter a stream of pleas for Louis to just get
inside me already.
Louis is so very, very on board with that suggestion.
As soon as Louis thinks Harrys ready he extracts his fingers from him, making the younger boy
whimper at the empty feeling. Its not for long though, because as soon as Louis has managed to
roll on a condom and slick himself up with lube, hes lining himself up at Harrys entrance and
slowly pushing in until hes all the way inside.
And for a moment its like theyre suspended in air. Everything frozen. Eyes locked. Bodies
connected in the most intimate way possible. Its everything and too much all at once. Its unreal
and unlike anything Louis has ever experienced.
For a moment hes still, buried deep in Harry, and then, like when you push play on a movie,
everything is put into motion at once. Sound returns, metaphorical feet are placed firmly on the
ground again.
And Louis pulls out, Harrys tight hole squeezing around him as though begging him to stay.
He pushes back in and it rips moans from both of them, the guttural sounds mixing with each
other in such harmony that one wouldnt be able to tell one from the other.
Lou, Lou, Lou, Harry gasps, chants, as Louis moves inside him, shifting the angle slightly with
each thrust, in search of the one that will make him hit Harrys prostate. When Harry lets out a
louder cry of his name and throws his head back with closed eyes, Louis figures hes found it.
Fuck, H, he gasps as he thrusts hard into him again, the feeling fucking exquisite. Fuck, you
feel so good, so tight, babe, shit.
Lou, Harry moans again, a desperate edge to his voice. Harder, please, fuck me harder,
please.
And Harry really only had to ask once. Louis takes a hold under Harrys knees, pressing them
towards the other boys chest to allow him better access. He picks up his speed, slamming into
Harry repeatedly as he chases his own orgasm, making sure to hit Harrys prostate with each
stroke. Theyre both muttering, moaning, gasping, and Louis mind is hazy, delirious with how
good this is, how close he is.
Harry has sneaked his hand over his thighs, and is pumping his own cock desperately, obviously
close as well.
Im gonna he gasps, head thrown back as much as his position allows him, Im gonna come,
fuck, I
Yes. Louis hisses, doubling his efforts as he thrusts into him. Yes, come on, Harry, come on
And with a cry, the younger man starts coming, spurting pearly white come onto his own chest,
some of it making it as far as his chin, if Louis isnt mistaken. Louis has literally never seen
anything hotter.
As Harry comes, he squeezes his hole tighter around Louis by instinct, and thats the last straw
before he starts coming only seconds after him. Its the best orgasm hes had in what feels like
years. Fucking ever, probably, Louis wouldnt be surprised.
He stays inside him as he comes, pulling out when his dick starts to soften. He pulls off the
condom and goes into the bathroom to dispose of it, taking a moment to process the fact that he
just fucked his best friend, who he is conveniently pretending to be in a relationship with, and
fucking hell what were they thinking?!
He shakes his head, still feeling the last effects of the alcohol, and decides to deal with the
repercussions tomorrow. He wets a flannel and makes his way back into their bedroom, where
Harry is still lying on the bed, spread-eagled, naked in all his glory, and covered in his own come.
His eyes are closed, but Louis can tell by the way hes breathing that hes still awake, and as he
sits down on the edge of the bed, he opens his eyes, smiling timidly.
Hi, Louis whispers, though having no idea why. Theyre the only ones around, after all, but it
feels a bit like he shouldnt speak too loudly, out of fear of bursting the bubble theyve built
around them. Their sex bubble, fuck.
Hi, Harry says, just as quietly, his smile strengthening. Louis reaches down and starts to wipe
the come off his chest with the flannel. They dont speak as he works, Harrys big hand having
moved to rest against Louis bare thigh.
Lou, Harry murmurs, as Louis gets up to toss the wet flannel in the hamper. Should we, like
talk, the word lingers in the air, unspoken, but they both know exactly where Harry was
going.
Tomorrow. Louis decides definitively. Well talk tomorrow. He slips on a pair of pants,
unsure if theyre his or Harrys, and not really caring either, before slipping under the covers next
to him. We should probably be sober anyhow, he continues, turning on his side to look at
Harry. When we, uhwhen we talk.
Okay, Harry agrees with a small nod, eyes drooping. He slips under the covers himself,
hesitating for a moment as if he doesnt know if what theyve done changes the way theyve come
to sleep, curled around each other, limbs intertwined.
Louis opens his arms slightly, in a gesture for Harry to come closer, and the younger man smiles
gently before curling up against him, letting Louis spoon him from behind. Louis hand comes to
rest against Harrys bare chest, and the younger man is still naked, and that is probably a
thought-path Louis should steer clear of. He breathes in the smell of Harrys hair, and its the last
thing he registers before he falls asleep.

When Louis wakes up the next morning its to a pounding headache, a ringing phone, and a
naked Harry pressed up against him. Harry is stirring too, groggy and confused, because, a brief
look at his phone - which is still ringing, God - tells him that its only twenty minutes past eight.
Harry reaches over and takes Louis phone, sliding to accept the call Niall and putting it on
speaker.
What? Harry rasps, while Louis lets his head fall back against the pillow, fucking exhausted.
Harry picks up the phone, places it on Louis bare chest, and then proceeds to rest his head there
as well, as Niall babbles on, clearly still rather drunk. (Louis wonders if Niall has even made it
home yet, he thinks probably not). Louis hand moves quite on its own accord to run his fingers
through Harrys hair.
fucking smashed it, lads! Im telling you, like four and five and six stars all around, only one
place with three, but that magazine are a bunch of dick anyways, and, also, youre all over the
internet and on the front page of the Daily Mail and The Sun. Like, you know, the two of you
walking out of the club, right? Looking like you just gave each other head in the bathroom and are
off to finish it at home! Niall starts cackling, like this is the funniest thing hes ever heard, and
Louis closes his eyes, thinks that apart from the fact that there technically hadnt been any
blowjobs involved, Niall has delivered a pretty accurate description of what had gone down.
Louis slept with Harry, has had sex with Harry, and, well, he is far too hungover to even begin to
contemplate what that might mean.
Thats great, Louis interrupts Nialls monologue. But its arse oclock in the morning and
were sleeping. Bye. He manages to hang up his phone somehow, dropping it to the floor, not
caring the slightest if the screen ends up cracking, just desperate to go back to sleep.
Often when Louis is unceremoniously woken like this, and kept awake for longer than it would
take for him to turn around to lie on his other side and close his eyes again, he finds it difficult to
fall back asleep not this time though. This time he merely tightens his arms around Harry, closes
his eyes, and drifts off in the matter of a few seconds.

The second time he wakes up, its significantly later and hes alone in bed. He can hear the faint
sound of the shower running in the en suite, and with his pounding head, and the feeling of
generally being proper disgusting, he figures that Harrys got the right idea.
He gets out of bed with some difficulty, grabs his things, and makes his way towards the guest
bathroom. Luckily hes taken to keeping the all bathrooms fully stocked on the essentials, thanks
to his mothers insistence, so its not really a problem taking a shower in here. When he gets the
shower turned on, he waits a moment for it to reach the desired temperature before stepping into it,
letting the hot water soothe his tired and sore body. He doesnt know if its the dancing or the
fucking from yesterday that has got him feeling sore in muscles he didnt even remember he had,
but here it is at any rate.
It eases the tension in his head a bit as well, the pounding headache a greeting from the way too
many shots he did yesterday. God, what even was yesterday? How the fuck did it go from
celebrating the release of their new album, to Harry and him practically getting it on in the club, to
actually getting it on at home? Fucking ridiculous. (Potentially disastrous.)
He takes longer in the shower than he normally would, as it proves to be a nice place to think
things through. He lets his mind wander and tries to sort out what the fuck they have done
because they cant afford to fuck this up, they cant.
And, really, its no wonder they ended up in bed with each other, is it? Like, theyre close, theyre
both fit, theyre getting off with each other all the time and pretending to be in a relationship.
Theyre literally sleeping together, curled around each other, skin against skin. Theyre so fucking
sexually frustrated, with no possible outlet but their own hands. Looking back they were pretty
much like a ticking time bomb it was only a matter of time before it happened.
And now it has. Louis hasnt got a clue where theyre supposed to go from here.
He finally gets out of the shower, towels off and puts on the clothes he brought with him with the
single purpose of comfort (If the sweater just so happens to be Harrys, it doesnt mean anything.
It doesnt).
He makes his way towards the kitchen then, on a mission to get an aspirin and a cup of tea
(preferably in that order), and maybe, if it doesnt seem too taxing, toast a bit of bread. As he nears
the kitchen though, the unmistakable smell of bacon meets his nostrils, and he thinks that he might
have to give up everything and just marry Harry, because anyone who gets up the day after a
party like the one yesterday to make a proper fry-up, is most definitely a keeper.
A couple of months ago Louis probably wouldnt even have had bacon and eggs in his fridge, if
hes being honest, but lots of things have changed since Harry moved in. Even if it is just a
temporary move, it will be at least for the next six or so months, and to anyone who visits them, it
needs to seem at least as much Harrys house as Louis. Their house, their home. Its been so, so
important to Louis that Harry feels like this is his home too, like he doesnt just feel like a guest.
When he moves into the kitchen, hes met with the sight of Harry by the hob, bacon and eggs
sizzling in the pan in front of him. The radio is playing softly in the background and hes
humming along to the music. He doesnt hear Louis come in at first, so he moves closer to him,
stopping when hes properly into the kitchen, and leans against the counter.
Morning, he announces his presence, keeping his voice low so as not to startle the younger man.
Harry spins around quickly, having obviously been deep in his own thoughts. His features morphs
into a tentative smile once he realizes that its just Louis who has come to disrupt his cooking.
Good morning, he murmurs, and then nods his head towards the counter opposite the one hes
standing by. Theres some aspirin there if youve got a headache.
Louis does, as a matter of fact, so he smiles gratefully at Harry and moves towards the glass of
water and packet of pills that hes now noticing Harry has put there. Thanks, love, he says once
hes swallowed, before moving up behind him to peer over his shoulder at the pans hes got going
on. Full English, it seems. Louis doubts he has ever loved another human more.
On instinct he places his hand on Harrys waist, hesitating slightly when the other man freezes at
the contact. He doesnt draw back though, lets his hand rest its full weight on Harry, refusing,
absolutely refusing, to let last night make this awkward. Maybe if he just behaves like normal
nothing has to be strange, nothing has to change. Yes, Louis would quite prefer that.
It takes a few moments, but eventually Harry leans back against him, staying there for a moment
before drawing back, turning off the hob and turning himself around to face Louis.
Are we going to talk about it now?
Louis sighs, closing his eyes briefly, before opening them again and meeting Harrys. Yes.
Lou, he starts, but is interrupted by Louis shake of his head.
Lets eat first.
Louis, he says again, warns.
While we eat then, Louis concedes, trying to quell the churning of his stomach. He doubts hell
be able to eat anything now.
Harry sighs then, looks down and turns around to fiddle with the pans.
Louis heart hurts, feels like it is being crushed, ripped apart, trampled upon.
They are not okay.
How he could have ever thought they would be okay after what they did? How he could ever
have thought things would just go back to normal? God, Louis is a fool. Such a bloody fool.
It has changed everything. Of course it has changed everything. How could it not?
He takes a step back, allowing Harry more room, so that he can bring the pans to the table, as well
as the plates and cutlery. Louis should help, probably, but he finds himself frozen in his spot.
Harry moves past him again, grabbing the pot of tea hes apparently made as well, because hes
nothing if not perfect, and just as hes nearly out of Louis reach, he cant help but reach out for
him, hand around his wrist stopping him in the middle of the kitchen.
Harry, he breathes, a wretched whisper, and it feels like the one word claws its way up his
throat, leaving it torn and shredded. He doesnt know what hes going to say, doesnt know what
he can say, doesnt know how to fix this, make it alright. If only he could turn back time. Harry,
Im
No, Harry interrupts, shaking his head, a pained expression marring his face. Dont say youre
sorry. Please.
Louis takes a deep breath, lungs feeling too small to hold the air he needs in order to breathe
properly. Im not sorry, Louis says then, honestly. Not that we slept together. Im sorry that this
is where we are now. I never wantedI wouldnt do I hate myself for doing anything that
could ever endanger what we are
Next thing he knows, hes got an armful of Harry, the younger man clutching him close, close,
closer until theres not even a hairs breadth between them, until Louis can hardly breathe.
You havent, you havent, Harry is murmuring into his hair. You havent. Im right here,
always right here. He pulls back, only just enough to look Louis in the eyes. We need to talk
about this, Lou, but Im still right here. Ill always be right here. It doesnt have to change any
more than we let it.
I dont know what to say, Louis admits, resting his head against Harrys shoulder. His broad
hand traces up and down Louis spine, and all he can think about is how those hands felt on his
naked skin, and fuck.
We had sex. Harry states, prompting Louis to let out a surprised laugh, having not expected him
to just state it like that at all.
We did, Louis confirms, once his laugh has died out. We were also terribly drunk.
Harry nods. True. It was good sex, though.
It was. Louis agrees, because if nothing else then Harry is at least right about that; the sex was
amazing, the best shag Louis has had in ages, and they were so piss drunk they could hardly see
straight. What they could do to each other sober is probably best left not thought about. To be
honest, we should probably have expected it to happen, shouldnt we?
Harry is silent for a moment, before drawing back from Louis, moving to rest his weight against
the counter, creating some distance between them. What do you mean?
Well, were living up and down each other, were snogging more times than not, were sleeping
half naked in the same bed. Were both fucking fit and not allowed to shag anyone else. Were
men
Harry snorts, Were men?
Its a valid point, isnt it? Louis shrugs, taking a step back and leaning against the opposite
counter.
Suppose so. What is your point though?
Louis shrugs again. We were both so fucking sexually frustrated, so it was to be expected?
And what now? Harry questions, running a hand through his semi-dried curls.
Well you said it yourself, didnt you? It wont change any more than we let it. We both know
what this was, so, like, thanks and lets put it behind us? Youre a fantastic shag, Harry, but youre
my best mate and the person I love the most on the fucking planet probably, so Id really prefer
not to let a one night stand ruin six years of friendship.
Harry nods after a moment, before drawing away from the counter and turning his back on Louis,
hiding his face. He grabs the pot of tea from where hed placed it before leaping into Louis arms,
and makes his way to the dining room.
Youre right, he hears Harrys voice from the other room. We, uhwe both know what it was.
No use over complicating it is there, you know, uh, when were on the same page.
And thats that.

Harry is off for the rest of the day. Its not surprising really, obviously what they did has shifted
something between them, how could it not? It would be foolish to believe it could all be restored
in the blink of an eye. Time, probably, is all thats needed, right? Just some time for them to fall
back into their usual routines, their usual way of being. Yes. Thats all.
But then again, it probably wouldnt hurt to do something nice for Harry, would it? Like well,
he left a little after theyd eaten breakfast, something about running some errands and being back
in time for dinner. Its kind of ridiculous, honestly, because they could probably be in the fight of
their lives and hating each others guts, and Harry would most likely still be home in time to cook
Louis supper. Hes too good. Hes doing everything, basically. Hes cooking every meal, doing
all the washing, cleaning most of the flat and not complaining the least. Like, Louis been mowing
the grass and shit, but really hes been slacking with the rest, and thats terribly unfair to Harry.
Hes a proper saint, and he should get a day off, he really, really should.
But the thing is, Louis is just really hopeless in a kitchen. Like, really fucking hopeless. Not even
if the apocalypse was impending and the only way to save Earth was to cook the zombies a nice
plate of Spaghetti Bolognese would he be able to pull it off. It speaks volumes about what Harry
means to him that hes even attempting. He tries not to linger on that thought.
Somehow he manages to go to the shop to get the ingredients for dinner, wash the soiled bedding
from last night, hoover, and clean, and cook and set the table, by the time Harry comes home,
rather disgruntled, at half past six.
Lou, he shouts as he enters. Louis is in the kitchen, uncorking a bottle of wine, which is the last
thing that needs to be done before his dinner for Harry is ready. Lou, he says again, his voice
coming nearer. Did you take the stew out of the freezer like I texted you? Or do we have to order
take-away again, because I do his voice falters, and Louis assumes it must be because he
stepped into the dining room, and seen that the table is already set.
Louis? his voice calls again, this time more uncertain as he moves closer to the kitchen.
In here, Louis finally calls back, as he manages to open the bottle of wine.
Whats all this? he asks, a small smile playing on his lips as he takes in the sight of Louis with
the now opened bottle of wine between his legs.
Louis shrugs in response. Youve been doing everything since you moved in here, which, you
know, sorry. Thought Id do something nice for you and cook you dinner.
Harry furrows his brow, while still smiling. And by cook me dinner you mean order me
takeaway, right?
Louis grins and shakes his head. I have learned a thing or two in all the years Ive been living
alone, believe it or not. But tonight its actually an oldie were having. Come on, go sit down, Ill
bring the food.
Do you need me to help, or
Louis shakes his head. No, no. Just relax. Here, he thrusts the bottle of wine into Harrys hands.
Take this to the table, and the water in the fridge please, dont really think Im up for wine, to be
honest.
Harry nods and does as Louis says silently, and its only a couple of minutes before hes brought
everything to the table and theyre sitting across from each other eating. The wine is on the table
untouched, neither of them feeling much like alcohol after yesterday. Harry had started out by
fiddling with his phone, taking a picture of the food, Louis suspects, and hed be very surprised if
he doesnt find a tweet from Harry when he checks his phone after dinner.
And its weird, because its all the same, really, as they eat, and talk, and laugh and joke. Its all
the same, except its not, because theres this underlying current of something more. Theres a
heavy tension that Louis doesnt know how to make dissipate, and he doubts Harry knows either.
Its like theyve opened a can of worms by sleeping with each other, and now they dont know
how to close it again. Louis cant help but wonder if he wants to.
The thing is, this can be exactly what they want it to be. Theyre best friends, theyre pretending to
be in love, theyre apparently really fucking sexually compatible, so why not take advantage of it?
Why not use each other, when neither of them can be with anyone else for the next long while?
As long as theyre clear about it with each other, surely it wont be a problem? Their mistake last
night had been to get caught up in the lust of everything, and shag without a care for how it would
affect them in the long run. However, if they talked it through before, if they hashed out the
boundaries together, if they made sure they were both on the same page, then surely there would
be nothing wrong with it? Surely it could only be beneficial to the both of them?
Theyve already started it, theres no going back. They know what the other feels like pressed
against them naked, Louis knows how it feels to be inside Harry, and Harry knows how it feels to
have Louis fill him up until he feels so full he could burst from it. They know those things now,
know them, will always know them. There is no going back.
Louis ponders it for the rest of the night, unable to come to a conclusion himself. Its not until
theyre about to go to bed, when Harry is brushing his teeth in the bathroom and Louis is fiddling
with his phone, already in bed, that he decides to broach the subject with him. First though, he
checks twitter to see if Harry really did tweet at dinner, and finds that there is indeed a tweet he
hasnt seen waiting for him.

Hey, Lou, Harry calls from the bathroom, startling Louis out of his twitter absorbance. Theres a
bit of a divergence between the fans those who believes that Harry did the cooking, and those
who believe that Louis did. His side is winning, which is really no surprise, considering the story
of this meal is practically iconic. Have you checked our iTunes placement? Or read any
reviews?
Louis shakes his head, before remembering that Harry is in the other room and cant see him. No,
Iuh, I kind of forgot actually, in the midst of everything. Which is ridiculous, how could he
forget about the release of their album, the album theyve worked so hard on for so long, the
album that will probably either make or break their entire career? The things Harry does to his
brain, really. I only know what Niall said this morning, which was quite good, yeah? Have you
looked at it?
No, Harry says as he enters the bedroom, dressed only in a pair of pants, and how is Louis
supposed to deal with practically naked Harry now that hes tried running his hands over the
naked skin, tried trailing his lips over it; how is he supposed to deal now, when he could barely do
so before? God, they better be able to work something out, or Louis will have to implement a very
strict onesies only policy in the bedroom. Its slightly ridiculous, really, because if theyd thought
of last night as something to settle their urges, tide them over until theyre free and can shag
whoever theyd like, they were so, so wrong. Sleeping with Harry has only made Louis crave it so
much more, only made him even more aware of what he could have. Probably top three of the
absolute worst decisions of his life, to be honest.
We should do it now, maybe? Harry continues, while rubbing his hands with lotion. Grab the
iPad, yeah?
Louis nods and twists his body to grab the iPad from his bedside table while Harry settles in next
to him, squeezing close so that they can both see the screen. They check everything from reviews
to fan opinions, to the iTunes chart, and its all better than theyd ever dared to expect. Of course
there is a magazine here and there who isnt convinced, people on the internet who are still unable
to look past their boy band personas of 2011, but all in all its everything Louis could have ever
dared to dream of, and a lot more.
He twists his head to look at Harry, a small smile playing on his lips, when he finds Harrys face a
lot closer to him than hed expected. Hes smiling too, big and goofy, because fuck, it feels like
theyre so close to achieving everything theyve hoped for, and its fantastic, and the only one he
wants to share it with is Harry.
His gaze shifts to Harrys lips, because, really, how could they not? Harrys got the most sinful
lips, plump and soft, red and perfect. Hes a brilliant kisser, and Louis is only human. How is he
supposed to look at Harry, at his lips, up close like this, look at Harry when hes probably the
most beautiful man ever, and not want to kiss him silly; not want to run his hands down his toned
chest, suck love bites into the column of his throat, wrap his lips around the head of his fucking
perfect dick and
He hardly notices that hes leaning closer to Harry, nor that Harry is doing the same, until their lips
are only millimetres apart. They both hesitate for just a moment, eyes drifting upwards to seek the
others, and for a moment Louis is just staring into Harrys wide eyes, into the brilliant green
around his dilated pupils. His eyes are the most beautiful colour, and if you asked Louis right now
what his favourite colour was, Harrys eyes would be the answer. They look at each other for a
moment, and the next their lips meet in the middle, both of them moving forward at the same time
to breach the little distance left between them.
Kissing Harry has always been fireworks and explosions, and every other clich, and it is this time
too, except that its different. Its quiet, and settled, and intimate, and so, so soft. Its the kind of
kiss that speaks of intimacy, and familiarity, and trust. Its not the kiss of one night stands or
passionate affairs, its the kiss of long term and forever. They kind of are, even if not like that, so
Louis doesnt worry too much about it. Doesnt let himself worry too much about it. He gives
himself over to the moment one hundred percent, hand moving to rest against Harrys cheek as he
pulls him in closer. They kiss, and kiss, and kiss, until suddenly Harry draws back, ripping his lips
from Louis harshly and moving backwards, creating, in Louis opinion, unwanted space between
them.
No, Harry gasps out, shaking his head wildly, as if his words arent enough to drill the meaning
into Louis mind. No, fuck, Lou, no. What are we doing?
Louis kind of wants to come back with sarcastic reply, a what does it look like were doing?, but
he does sort of have a feeling for when not to be witty. Now is definitely, definitely not the time.
Haz, he breathes out instead, reaching out for him, but Harry flinches, moves further away from
him, and Louis chest hurts. Harry, he repeats, this time staying where he is.
No, Louis, we cant just. Fuck. If were gonna get out of this with our friendship intact, we cant
just make out because were horny, we gotta stop thinking with our dicks
But we dont! Louis blurts out, interrupting him. He takes a deep breath before continuing,
softer this time, We dont, Harry. I mean, he backtracks. At least not if we talk it through
before. Youre right, we cant just think with our dicks, but if we talk this through together, if we
work out some guidelines or whatever, theres no reason why we should walk around constantly
sexually frustrated for the next six months, is there?
Harry frowns, and asks cautiously, like hes almost afraid of what Louis is saying. What are you
suggesting, Louis?
Louis speaks quickly, wanting to get it all out before he loses his nerve. Well, whats really
stopping us from sleeping together, H? I mean, Ive been thinking about this all day, and, shit, I
dont know about you, but Im going to be proper bummed about having to go back to my own
hand, when I know what Im missing out on with you now. Like, youre fucking fit, Haz, youre
beautiful, Id be a fool not to see that. And, honestly, I dont remember the last time I had a shag
so good, and I was fucking drunk, babe, like Im not evenI dontMy point is Harry. It
doesnt have to be more than it is, it doesnt have to be so complicated. Were us, its just us. Why
shouldnt we be able to take advantage of the situation weve been thrust into? Why shouldnt we
make the best of it? Its just sex, Harry, its just sex.
He looks conflicted for several moments, long enough for Louis to think that maybe he severely
fucked everything up. Its so long, so long, and Louis should have said something ages ago,
should have backtracked somehow, should have tried to laugh it off, fucking anything other than
this god forsaken silence that has taken over them, and shit, Louis is such a bloody idiot, such a
fool, what the fuck was he thinking, how could he ever have thought this might end well, Jesus
bloody Chr
Harry surges forward, knocking him back against the headboard of the bed with the force of his
body, connecting their lips in a fierce kiss, entirely different from the one only minutes before. Its
raw, and real, and unpolished, teeth clashing and biting and nails digging into soft skin. Harrys
lips are pushing against his, unrelenting, punishing and bruising. He kisses Louis like he literally
has no other choice, like its vital to his survival, like he really has no other option.
Louis can do nothing but accept every kiss, every lick, every bite; welcome him, kiss him back,
letting him do exactly as he pleases with him.
And like flicking a switch, it changes. From one second to the next the kiss goes from almost
brutal, to so, so unbearably soft. Harry draws back a little bit, their lips remaining connected for
just a little while, before separating with a smack that seems to reverberate in the otherwise silent
bedroom.
Okay, Harry breathes, looking into Louis eyes, face so, so close. Okay.
Just sex. Louis whispers, almost afraid to speak louder. It feels like a promise theyre making,
like signing a verbal contract almost. Fuck, a week ago, even a day ago, Louis would never have
expected them to be in this situation now, in this situation ever.
Just Harry says, biting his lip, eyes big and shining in the dimly lit room. Louis doesnt know
what to make of anything anymore. Just. Its definitive, this, and then Harry closes the distance
between them again.
Theres none of the harshness, none of the brutal need left, just something that feels like a soft
yearning, a burning in the pit of his stomach. Its slow, so slow, the way Harrys lips drag over
his, the way their tongues tangle, hands roaming all over the others body. Its such a contrast to
last night, to the hurried frenzy, to the desperation. Its like theyre settled in the knowledge that
theyre doing this, that theyve talked about it, that neither of them is suddenly going to come to
their senses and stop what theyre doing. Theres no rush, because they have all the time in the
world, really, so why should they rush it?
Harry trails his mouth up Louis scruffy cheek, until his lips rest against his ear, and Louis head is
filled with the sound of his breathing. Its like music to the most perfect lyrics.
You say Im beautiful, Lou, Harry whispers, goose bumps rising on Louis skin, But you have
no idea how perfect you are. The most gorgeous man Ive ever laid eyes on.
Louis opens his mouth to protest, because where does Harry even get these things from, what is
he even talking about, fucking madness, but then, before he can even utter as much as a syllable,
Harrys mouth is covering his again, cutting off any objection. He kind of has other things to think
about after that.
It continues like it started, soft and intimate, all the way through, marked by the feeling of having
all the time in the world. Theres time, suddenly, to map out each others bodies, to learn every
wrinkle and birthmark, every curve and every angle, theres a sort of settlement in the knowledge
that this will happen again, that it isnt a one off.
It should be weirder, maybe. Definitely. Harry is his best friend, and this is definitely not best
friend activities, but. Theyve already done it once and theyre still alright. And there is absolutely
nothing short of the end of the world that could keep him from touching Harry now (and even
then, probably not). Harry is every bit as addicting as weed to him, a craving thats too real, too
big to ignore. And why should he when the man is looming above him, running his hands all over
him, making him feel like fucking heaven, rubbing their clothed, hard cocks against each other in
slow, measured circles.
Its somewhere around the time when Harry wraps his hand around Louis dick through his briefs
that he decides to just stop bloody over thinking it all the time, and just give himself over to what
hes feeling. Somehow, through the haze of pleasure and Harry that clouds his mind, they get
naked, and before he knows it, Harrys fingers are entering him, spreading him open in a way that
no one but himself has done in more than a year. His own fingers are wholly inadequate in
comparison to Harrys.
He can hardly function beyond how unbelievably amazing he feels, and he might actually whine
when Harry extracts his fingers from him, after a last rub over his prostate that makes him arch his
back, his entire body thrumming with pleasure.
Theres hardly any time between Harrys fingers leaving him, and his hard cock entering him, and
of the two, if he must choose, he much prefers Harrys dick. He nearly sighs in relief when Harry
is buried all the way inside him, pelvis pressed against his arse, with Louis legs wrapped loosely
around his waist. It feels like they were made with the sole purpose of being joined like this.
It continues to be slow from then on, Harry moving inside his with languid, steady thrusts that
brush against his prostate with every move. Its so, so intimate, and, to be honest, Louis doesnt
think he has ever actually had sex this way. Its not really the usual way of one night stands.
When his orgasm hits him, it is like a wave crashing onto shore, submerging his entire body. Its
literally every nerve in his body tingling, he can feel it from the tips of his toes to the roots of his
hair. Hes delirious with pleasure for several moments could be minutes, hours, days, and
months, and years, for all he knows unable to do much but clutch Harrys shoulders, nails
digging in deep.
When he starts to come back, its to the mildly uncomfortable sensation of Harry pulling out of
him, his hole clenching around nothing, stretched and empty. Harry gets out of bed, presumably to
discard the condom in the bathroom, but Louis continues to lie there, honestly unsure if his body
even functions anymore. It feels a bit like Harry has turned every muscle in his body into liquid.
He feels weightless, sort of, still. Like he could just float away, like the smallest gust of wind
would take his body with it. His eyes drift closed, and hes nearly asleep when he feels the
coolness of a wet cloth cleaning his own come off his stomach.
He cracks open an eye, and is met with the sight of Harry looming above him, still naked as the
day he was born, and a flannel in his hand. Hes cleaning him thoroughly, a small fond smile
playing on his face as he takes in Louis. He makes to get up from the bed, intent to return the cloth
to the bathroom, Louis suspects, but, to be honest, he isnt really on board with that idea, so he
makes grabby hands at him, clutching the younger mans wrist and tugging him towards him.
Harrys smile only widens as he drops the flannel on the floor (an utterly un-Harry thing to do,
really), and climbs into bed next to Louis, covering them both with the duvet. Louis sighs happily
into his lips as he kisses him, before shuffling closer to slot their limbs together again, and Louis
feels soft, and sleepy, and perfect.
He falls asleep in Harrys arms, like he has for the last many, many, many nights, but it has
probably never felt better than it does right now.
Chapter End Notes
Thanks for reading! If you've got the time, or have anything to day, or even if you
don't, please leave a comment - it means so much!
If you need more And Then a Bit, check out the character asks, or send some of your
own if there's something you're curious about.
It'd also mean a lot if you'd reblog the masterpost for the fic. Or just come say hi on
tumblr.
Hope to see you next Friday (for a monster of a chapter - 16k!) xxxx
Ps: I cocked up with the tweets in the end of last chapter, and only just discovered a
couple of days ago, so... well, you can go back and see the proper exchange if you'd
like :)
VIII
Chapter Notes
Okay, so I'm sorry this is up so late - I'm absolutely swamped with exams. Sigh.
I've got about a million credits to give now, so here goes:
As always a massive, massive thank you to Jess and Loo for making this readable.
And now for all the manips and pictures (tweets not counting):
To Nina for number 1, 3, 4, 8. This wouldn't be half of what it is without you. I
literally just have to say 'could you make....' and it appears in my mailbox. I've got
this theory that she's at least part magic. Nina Potter, yes. Solid theory that.
Number 2 is by the wonderful Sami who so kindly allowed me to use it - THANK
YOU!
5 and 6 are my private photos.
7 is curtesy of dear old google.
Thank you to all of you who read it, and leave comments, and kudos, and come talk
to me on tumblr - means a very much a lot. I'm sorry it takes me so long to answer
nowadays, I can't stress it enough, it's these exams, I'm just so stressed. Give me
about two weeks more and I'll be free of uni and I'll be here so much you all grow
sick of me.
Enjoy? x
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Du er den jeg drmmer om - det eneste jeg kan se
Den jeg venter p - jeg ved godt det ikke m ske
Den jeg fanges i - men jeg kan ikke gre ved
At jeg falder for
At jeg falder for dig
(Marie Key Uopnelig)

CHAPTER VIII:
Tour rehearsals start in the middle of November and are set to run until the 22
nd
of December,
leaving the boys with a small break until the tour begins on the 7
th
of January in London.
December has already been hectic, filled with rehearsal after rehearsal and the premiere of their
third single on the finale of The X Factor, which had gotten a reception beyond Louis wildest
dreams. Now theyve got three days of rehearsals left, theyve got the songs down, got the intro
and intermediate videos filmed, got pretty much everything else down, except for a brief run-
through with the choreographer. Which is ridiculous, yes, Louis is perfectly aware of that. Like,
three days left? Theyve been doing mock gigs on the stage for ages now, but it had been decided
that since there wasnt really any actual choreography involved, the boys would work out most of
their onstage movements by themselves three tours behind them has left them with some
understanding of how to move on stage, how to avoid blocking, etc and then a choreographer
would be hired for the last few days to tweak any minor details he felt he needed to.
So here they are, running through the show with a choreographer theyve never worked with
before watching them, ready to give them pointers and directions on how to improve.
Louis is having so much fun, so much. Its justits everything performing and being on stage
ought to be, its careless, and fun, and the fact that he doesnt have to stay a constant three metres
from Harry means the fucking world. Theres a calm and a sort of relaxation in performing that
hasnt actually been there since the Up All Night tour. And its better than then too, because
theyre older, and better, and more familiar with performing, more safe in it. Its brilliant, really.
Once theyve run through their set, Louis is sweaty, and happy, and exhausted too. They gather
on the edge of the stage when the choreographer Martin, Louis recalls beckons them closer,
and Louis leans into Harry side, sitting close on the edge of the stage, thighs pressed together, and
Harrys arm draped over his shoulder, holding him close. Harry drops a kiss on the top of his hair,
and Louis smiles before snuggling further into his neck.
Its been two months since they casually started sleeping together, and things have been better
than Louis could ever have wished for. If there is one word to describe how theyve been for the
past two months, it would be content. And not in the negative were-alright-but-only-just-things-
could-be-so-so-much-better way, but in the way where things are just so settled. Louis couldnt
wish for more really, like the only way it could actually be better would be if they were actually in
love with each other. Would uncomplicate a lot of things, thats for sure.
Being best mates who are living together, and kissing, and shagging isnt all that bad either
though, all things considered. It works. Its totally illogical and it shouldnt work, but it does.
Louis is really very much not going to question it. Whats that saying? Dont look a gift horse in
the mouth? That might take the biscuit for weirdest epithet ever, but Louis agrees with the
sentiment nonetheless.
This whole thing is a lot easier, a lot less complicated, if he just doesnt think too much about it,
Louis has learned.
Well, Martin-the-choreographer says, breaking Louis out of his thoughts. Thats great lads,
really. Its very clear this isnt your first time doing a show like this. Theres not much to say,
really, Im just going to give you each a few pointers. Zayn-
Louis zones out again as Martin addresses Zayn, then Niall, and at last Liam, giving them each
pointers and corrections.
Harry, Louis, Martin says finally, after what feels a bit like hours. Louis is tired, okay? Kind of
hungry too. Wouldnt mind getting to go home and have Harry make him a sandwich. Possibly
throw in a blowjob or something, thatd be ace. Wheres the love, boys? There's going to be
people who have come to see you two being in love, and like, its there, of course it is, but its too
subtle. Give the fans a few kisses, a cheeky smack on the bum, anything really. Its okay to show
that youre together. Not too much, but something, yeah? Find the balance, do whats comfortable
for you. Whenever it feels natural. And, oh, Something Great, yeah? That must be an emotional
song for you two, right? Written by Harry back when he was in love with you, no? Wishing you
would just love him back. With the piano ensemble, its going to go straight to all the girls hearts.
I want you, Harry, to go to Louis after the song and give him a kiss, every time, right? A sort of
'yes, its sucked, but Ive got you now'. Louis, you look at Harry during your song, make sure
people get hes the one youre singing to. That goes for all the love songs, dont leave any doubt
youre singing about each other. But dont turn it into a cheesy rom com, be cheeky too, be fun.
Show people how happy you are together. But we dont want you to be getting off with each
other 24/7 either, were not making soft core porn, Louis snorts. Keep it fairly PG, yeah? A little
filthy at times is okay, though. Again, find the balance youre comfortable with and with what is
appropriate.
Wont it seem staged, though? Harry questions after theyve had a moment to digest Martins
monologue. If we kiss every time after Something Great?
Martin shakes his head. No, he says.Its not gonna seem staged. Its going to seem more like a
cute little ritual you two have, you know? Its Louis reassuring you that you dont have to wish for
something great anymore, because now you have it. It just shows that the song is special to you,
which it is, I assume?
Its Harrys turn to nod, as he breathes a soft, Yeah. Louis tilts his head up to kiss the corner of
Harrys mouth, and he feels the younger man pull him closer.
Right, Martin says, addressing all of them again. I wanna run through Something Great,
Midnight Memories, Little Things, All That I Have, and These Words again, alright? And
remember what I said.
The boys make various noises of acceptance and scramble off the edge of the stage, taking their
respective positions to run through the songs requested. Its ridiculous how much more fun
performing is now that they can all mess around and have fun, and, well, if hes gotta smack
Harrys bum and give him a kiss or two, its really all for the greater good of the band. Yes.
Martin seems a lot more satisfied with their performances when they finish this time, and he nods
and praises them, telling them to remember what he said for tomorrow when theyll continue.
Theres quite the crowd assembled outside their rehearsal space when they make to leave, and
while Louis is mostly feeling like just getting to their car and then home, the group of young girls
who are clearly allowed to be here because their Christmas holidays have started, their mum's and
dad's standing in the background, make him stop. He drags Harry towards them, and they spend a
good amount of time making sure that theyve greeted, signed autographs for, and taken pictures
with all of the kids before they wave their goodbyes and make their way to the car. Once inside it,
Louis whips out his phone to see a notification of a tweet from Niall, and he opens it out of
boredom, quite surprised to see that its about him and Harry.
And, right, its just strange, is all. Like, to see one of the boys tweeting about them like theyre an
item, mostly because it hasnt really happened. Louis knows, however, that theyve been asked by
management to step it up a bit, to acknowledge it more on social media, like theyhave done in
interviews, as the fans are eating it up. Louis supposes thats what's going on now.
Hes contemplating whether he should reply when he accidentally swipes the button that takes
him to his own account, and sees the tweet he sent during their lunch break, yet another selfie of
him and Harry. Theyve gone a bit mad really, but as long as the fans continue to love it, Louis
supposes theyre doing something right.

They continue to rehearse with Martin for the next two days, the final one being the sort of Grand
Finale, so to speak, where they perform for all the higher-ups who (thank god) deem them ready
to perform for the masses. Why thank you, yes.
And then theyre off. For three blissful weeks until the tour starts. After nearly five months of
constant promo, and interviews, and photo shoots and publicity stunts, those three weeks are a
fucking godsend. Louis has the total amount of zero plans and it is glorious.
Or, well.
Technically he does have some sort of plans, him and Harry have to keep up pretences after all, so
theyre pretty much spending Christmas together. Louis birthday and Christmas eve with Louis
family, then theyre driving up to Harrys mums for Christmas day, and then well, actually
Louis isnt sure what happens after that, to be honest. Theyre probably gonna separate, spend
some time apart, Louis imagines, which for him will probably be lying around on the sofa playing
FIFA. Maybe he'll see Stan, or hang out with his family a bit more. Hell work it out later, thats
the beauty of being off, isnt it, no need to actually plan too much ahead. Louis is a fan, definitely.


Theyre packed and driving to Doncaster the day before Louis birthday, the journey passing
mostly in comfortable silence. Harry is doing the driving, so Louis spends the drive trying to settle
on a radio station, looking out of the window, taking in the passing fields and houses, and having
the occasional snooze. Its in the midst of one of those that hes shaken awake by Harry, the
younger man holding his door open, the vehicle no longer moving. He gets out of the car
groggily, stretching and trying to wake himself up. Harry moves up next to him, holding both their
bags as he waits for Louis to lead the way to the house.
At first glance it seems that no ones home, which Louis finds strange, considering both his mum
and Dans cars are in the driveway. They move through the house, calling their hellos after
having dropped their bags at the bottom of the stairs. They check the back garden last, and find the
entire Tomlinson-Deakin clan dressed up in their best snow gear, respectively engaged in either
what looks like a brutal snow fight or the building of two massive snowmen.
Louis is about to announce their arrival when Harry sneaks his arm around him, and pulls him
ever so slightly closer. Louis smiles up at him, meeting his eyes and seeing the smile mirrored on
his face. He snuggles further into him before making their way properly out into the yard.
Lottie is the first who spots them, looking up from where shes patting the belly of one of the
snowmen, Doris perched on her lap, enthusiastically throwing snow at the snowman as best she
can.
You two are so cute, Lottie calls as a greeting, which alerts the rest of the family to their
presence, momentarily stalling the snow fight as they go to greet them.
Jay reaches them first, Ernest perched on her hip as she gives both Louis and Harry a kiss on their
cheeks in greeting. Hello boys, she says, smile soft and cheeks rosy. Were so glad youre
here. Drive was alright? Not too much snow on the ground?
No, it was alright, thanks Jay Harry answers as Louis accepts Ernest from his mum, the younger
boy having made grabby hands at him as soon as he recognised his older brother.
Hey there, buddy, Louis says as he clutches Ernest closer to him, vaguely aware that Harry and
his mum continue to chat. How are you doing, huh? You good? Yeah. You build that snowman,
did you? Its very pretty, yes, youre a very good snowman builder, arent you? Hes gently
bouncing Ernie while talking about this and that, making the little boy giggle.
When are you two going to get one of those? Lottie questions, bringing Doris with her as she
moves up next to their mum.
Louis is still trying to process Lotties question (because, what?) as Harry crouches down so that
hes at Doris level, where the little girl is standing by herself in front of Lottie as she holds onto
both of Doris hands to make sure she doesnt fall. He gathers her in his arms, lifting her up as he
straightens, much to Louis tiny little sisters amusement.
Give us a few years, eh? Harry answers, bouncing Doris on his hips, dimples twinkling at
Lottie.
Well, until then, Jay smiles, looking fondly at the two of them as they each hold their baby.
You can practise on these two as much as you want. They suit you quite nicely.
Louis is about to reply when hes suddenly got a twin on each side of him, hugging him close, as
Fizzie and Dan make their way towards them as well.
He greets his sisters as best he can with the little boy still clutched in his arms, and watches on
fondly as Harry interacts with each of them as well. He fits so seamlessly into Louis family, and it
makes all the difference, really. He still feels bad about lying to his sisters, theres probably no
helping that, but Harry soothes that ache by just being here. He's once again struck by how
fucking grateful he is that everything is so effortless with Harry; it makes all the difference. Its
going to be so strange when they end this, when he has to go out there and figure out how to
function outside this two-man-show hes established with Harry, when hes free to be with
whoever he wants and has to build an actual relationship from scratch and... actually, Louis would
rather not think of that, to be honest.
Somehow both Louis and Harry are roped into joining in on the snow fight, Lottie joining as well
this time, as Jay takes the twins inside to make everyone hot chocolate for when theyre finished.
Its a proper brutal game, the others deciding that under no circumstances are Harry and Louis
allowed to be on the same team, so naturally it develops into Harry and Louis trying to chuck as
much snow at the other as possible. Louis clearly has the better aim out of the two of them, three
of his snowballs hitting Harry for every one of Harrys making contact with him.
Sometime after what seems like Louis five hundredth snowball has made contact with Harry, the
younger man decides to throw caution to the wind. He lets out a cry that would have been better
suited for a medieval battlefield than a snowy back garden in South Yorkshire, and charges
towards Louis, abandoning the tree hes been attempting to shield himself behind in favour of the
open fields. Really, all hes missing is a sword and he might as well be taken straight from one of
the battle scenes in Lord of the Rings. Or something.
Louis barely has time to register what he's done, much less get over the shock and the what-the-
hell-are-you-doing? the other boy has got going on, before Harry is tackling him to the ground,
the full weight of his body pressing Louis into the snow as he lies on top of him, grinning briefly
before dumping a handful of snow on his face.
Louis splutters, shaking his head in attempt to get the cold snow away, away, away from him, but
all that results in is the snow making its way down his collar, and yeah, thats not exactly pleasant.
Hes just about to protest, loudly, when he feels Harrys gentle fingers brush the snow away. He
looks up properly and locks eyes with him, returning the smile hes getting.
Harry leans down and connects their lips softly, just as a massive amount of snow is dropped on
top of them, his body luckily shielding Louis from most of it. Harry pulls away, and they both turn
their heads to see the twins, Dan, Lottie, and Fizzie standing above them, matching looks of faux
innocence on their faces. Louis cocks an eyebrow.
We were just wondering if you were ready to go inside to get something hot to drink? Dan says,
no longer able to contain his grin.
Louis rolls his eyes and takes a handful of snow, chucking it towards his family as best as he can
when lying on his back in the snow. The angle is off, and the snow barely makes contact with
their shins, but the twins jump back and shriek anyway. Be gone, you imbeciles! Louis says as
he fists his hand around the fabric of Harrys coat. Well be there in a moment.
Hes vaguely aware of his family shuffling inside, as Harry turns his attention back to him,
dimples deep in his cheeks as he smiles at him.
Hi, Harry giggles, a wet, gloved thumb running over Louis cheek.
Louis laughs quietly. Hi. What was that, Styles?
Hmm? he hums in question, as he continues to hover over him. Its quite ridiculous really, Louis
can feel the snow seeping into the fabric of his jacket, must surely be halfway to pneumonia by
now, but he doesnt really fancy moving either, so.
That was quite the battle cry, mate. Have you been watching too much Game of Thrones?
Harry snorts and leans down to nose along Louis cheekbone. His nose feels like ice. Thats
really more of your kind of show, innit? He asks, mouth close to his ear, and its sort of
ridiculous, because they spent the better part of their November nights watching the series
together, so, well. Besides, maybe I just wanted to get you in this position, eh? I quite like having
you like this.
If Louis cheeks redden, its solely thanks to the cold and definitely nothing else. Is that so? he
says instead, voice coy. Well. What are you going to do now you have me like this?
Harry draws back, just enough to meet Louis eyes, his smile still wide and dimples deep. This,
he says quietly, serenely, before bending down and connecting their lips.
For several moments Louis is just caught up in the pleasure of kissing him, before he suddenly
eyes an opportunity, so to speak. As he licks into his mouth, tongue grazing over his teeth and
tangling with Harrys own, his hand moves from his back to the ground, grabbing a handful of
snow. He waits just the beat of a heart before moving his hand quickly and releasing the handful
of snow over Harrys head.
The younger man squeaks in surprise into his mouth before separating their lips and shaking his
head, trying to rid himself of all the snow that has taken up residence in his curls. Hes laughing,
so Louis feels a bright smile bloom on his own face, as Harrys twinkling eyes meet his. He leans
down to peck Louis on the lips once, chastely, and then pulls back entirely, getting off him and
extending his arm to help him up. Louis looks at it warily for a secondbefore taking it, letting
Harry haul him to his feet and, thankfully, not drop him on his bum or something.
You know, Harry says, as they make their way towards the house, wet, and cold. and happy.
You didnt have to chuck snow at me to get me to stop kissing you.
Louis laughs brightly in response as he opens the door, toeing off his shoes so as not to drag
melting snow and dirt through the entire house. Dunno, thought that method was quite effective.
Harry hums as they both step into the house, taking off their wet jackets and hanging them to dry
next to the rest of Louis familys.
Were just gonna change into something dry, he calls as they move up the stairs, and he vaguely
registers his mother's sound of acknowledgement coming from the living room. As soon as theyre
inside Louis room he pulls off his jumper, feeling the chill starting to get to him from his wet
jeans and the splotches on the back of his jumper where the water seeped through the fabric of his
jacket.
When hes done stripping, standing in his room in nothing but his pants, shivering slightly from
the cold, he accepts the trackies and the new jumper Harry is handing him from one of their bags,
which Harry had brought upstairs, Harry did all the packing, actually, so their clothes are just
packed into the same bags, not separated into whats Louis and his, so it shouldn't be a surprise
really, when he puts on the jumper only to realise that its pleasantly big and comfy on him, and
also very, very much Harrys. He kind of suspects that it was on purpose, though.
Harry changes quickly too, putting on his own trackies and the oops jumper that was a part of
their Where We Are merch. He never knew that Harry had one, but then again, this one is a little
bit tight on his shoulders, stretched a bit over his chest, and, well, it could just be because the
jumper is two years old and Harry has grown, his body having matured, but it could also be
because it 's actually Louis jumper. Hmm.
Once they join his family in the living room Jay thrusts big mugs of hot chocolate into their hands
and the two of them cuddle up in the big armchair, Louis revelling in the heat that is Harryand the
warm liquid in his cup, slowly warming up his still slightly shivering body.
They spend the rest of the day alternating between playing board games and watching movies,
Harry either curled up around Louis, helping Jay in the kitchen with preparing for tomorrow, or
playing with either Doris or Ernie, or both. It warms Louis heart to see him on the floor with
Doris, holding her doll as they seem to play some sort of game Louis isnt even going to pretend
to understand.
He catches his mother watching him as he watches Harry and his youngest siblings with a fond
smile, but much to his surprise, she never tries to broach the subject. He'd been quite wary of
coming here, if hes quite honest, only for the reason that he wasnt quite prepared to discuss what
his relationship with Harry had turned into with his mother, not quite ready for her questions,
and quite sure that she wouldnt be able to understand the complexity theyve turned into. She
never asks, though.

Louis wakes up on the morning of his twenty-fifth birthday to Harry running his hands through
his hair; the gentlest wake up, really. He stretches his body before opening his eyes slowly, taking
in the younger man, who is wearing nothing but a pair of trackies, as he sits next to him on the
bed.
Good morning, love, Harry says quietly, continuing to stroke his hair.
Morning, he croaks out, smiling gently. He yawns a bit, trying to rid his body of the last amount
of sleepiness before continuing. I gotta say, Im kind of disappointed, you know? Yeah, I feel a
bit cheated, to be honest.
Oh yeah? Harry smiles, his hand now playing with the hair at the nape of Louis' neck, where
its starting to get quite long. Whys that?
Well, Louis starts, turning to lie on his side and propping his head up with his arm. Since Im
now in a relationship, he uses to his free hand to air quote the word. I should think I would be
woken up by a birthday blowjob.
Harry shakes his head, laughing. Early bird gets the worm?
Hmm, Louis agrees. Well, all I can say is that you better not be expecting one come your
birthday, is all.
Harry laughs and trails his hand down Louis cheek fondly. Thought we established no funny
business with all your siblings next door?
Louis hums in recognition, since, well, that is technically true. Speaking of, he says. Where is
my loving family?
Harry looks sheepish and then averts his eyes. Well, he confesses. Its, um, still kind of early?
Yeah, uh, so probably still sleeping, I think. Louis grabs his wrist, fingers wrapping around it
tightly, to look at the watch nestled over his anchor tattoo. About twenty minutes past eight it says.
Well. Could be worse, at least. He quirks an eyebrow, clearly saying: well, why?
Harry blusters slightly, but then gets off the bed and moves towards their bags. Louis sits up in
bed, watching him as he pulls a small parcel from one of the duffel bags.
I wanted to give you this, he confesses sheepishly. When it was just the two of us, yeah? He
crosses the small room again, handing Louis the present which is neatly wrapped in shiny white
paper with a coral bow on top of it. Its very minimalistic and pretty, and Louis kind of suspects
Harry wrapped it himself.
Louis weighs the present in his hands, noting how it barely weighs anything, before looking up at
Harry with a smile. Thanks, Haz, he says, and makes to remove the ribbon when Harry stops
him with a hand on his arm.
Wait a minute. Let me take a photo, yeah?
Louis frowns in reply. I just woke up, babe, I must look a mess, surely we should spare twitter
that?
Harry shakes his head with a smile, sitting down on the bed next to him, facing him as he runs his
hand through his hair, straightening it out a bit and swooping some of it back.
You look beautiful, love, Harry reassures as he moves back again, and takes his phone from the
bedside table. Give me a smile, yeah?
Louis does as hes told, smiling softly at him with the present lying in his duvet covered lap.
When Harry gets around to tweeting it, it will surely be the most intimate and private picture
theyve released onto social media. All in all, Louis supposes its a pretty perfect way to say hey-
ho look at us, were spending Christmas together.
Ill tweet it a bit later, eh? Open your present now. Harry says as he sits down on the bed again
opposite Louis, watching him with poorly concealed anxiousness. Whatever it is in this parcel,
Harry is clearly unsure of how he will react to it. He tries to give him a reassuring smile before
turning his attention to the gift, taking off the ribbon with ease before peeling off the tape and
slowly taking away the wrapping paper. Hes left with a handful of nearly weightless tissue paper
it seems, and the actual content of the present can only be paper itself, Louis muses. He looks up
at Harry briefly, only to see the younger lads gaze fixed on his hands. He turns his attention back
to the parcel, peeling back the tissue paper to reveal a plain, light blue envelope made from a
stiffer sort of paper. He hesitates for a moment again, looking up at Harry, only for him to mumble
a quiet go on. Louis does so.
Opening the envelope, he pulls out two tickets of some sort, and upon further inspection sees that
theyre for a flight. Two. One bears his name and the other Harrys. He puts down the envelope to
inspect the tickets closer, and sees that its first class tickets to Thailand, their flight leaving on
Boxing Day.
Harry, he breathes out, looking up at his best friend again in awe, not quite sure what to say.
Harry is watching him carefully, his lower lip wedged between his teeth as he awaits his reaction.
Its, uh, its only, like, if you want to, right? he starts to babble after a moment of silence. Like,
no pressure. Just thought it would be nice, right. Like. You know, like to get away for a bit. Get a
bit of a proper holiday before tour starts. Uh, yeah. Unless you have other plans, I mean, you
dont have to, right?
Harry, Louis says again, cutting him off. Really, fuck, Harry. Thank you! This is exactly what
I need, darling, this is perfect! And it really, really is.
Yeah? Harry asks quietly, relief flooding his features, his posture slackening slightly.
Yeah. Louis confirms with a nod and a squeeze of his hand.
Right, we, uh. We get back on the 5
th
of January, right, so that leaves us with two days before
tour starts, that alright?
Perfect. Louis nods, squeezing his hand again.
Harrys smile brightens, as it seems the last shreds of doubt leave him. Oh, he says suddenly,
reaching out with the hand not holding Louis' to wrap around his wrist. I was so nervous about
your present, I totally forgot to say happy birthday! He draws in a breath and smiles crookedly at
him. Louis heart flutters. Happy birthday, Louis.
Louis laughs. Thank you, he gets out, smiling back at him full force. He was never too thrilled
about getting older before, but right now he cant say that hes all that bothered. You really
thought I wouldnt want to go, huh? he questions curiously, thumb rubbing over Harrys
knuckles.
Harry shrugs sheepishly. Dunno, he says. Thought maybe you, you know, wanted some time
away from me. Weve been spending so much time together lately--
Nah, he cuts him off, shaking his head. Im good.


See when Louis had mock complained about the lack of birthday blowjobs, he hadnt been
expecting to find himself in the shower with Harry a mere 30 minutes later, but somehow here
they are. Hes already halfway to hard just from looking at Harrys wet, naked body, and that
should be embarrassing, perhaps, but he really cant bring himself to care when Harry is every bit
as affected as him.
So, to be honest, hes kind of expecting Harry to wank him off, maybe even blow him. Like, its
his birthday, and theyre clearly both turned on already, and now that theyve somehow made it
into the shower together (that was so Harrys idea something about saving water, and being nice
to the environment, and shit that Louis really just took to mean hed like an excuse to be naked
with him. Whatever, he isnt complaining), and the radio positioned in the spare bathroom is
playing softly, so they should be somewhat safe from being heard as long as they dont get too
loud. So, yeah, something would be nice now.
Instead what Harry says is, Turn around, yeah? His voice is soft and eyes fond. Hes barely
audible over the sound of the water cascading down on them. Im gonna wash your hair.
Louis quirks an eyebrow, because, what? He does as hes told though, turning his back to him as
the younger man reaches in front of him to grab the shampoo positioned in front of him. Its a
moment, and then Louis feels Harrys hands in his hair, softly massaging the shampoo in,
fingertips gliding over his scalp, applying slight pressure. Its intoxicating, is what it is.
Theyve actually never showered together before, Louis has always thought it to be kind of
intimate, and, well, theyre not like that. And theyve always been at Louis where theres an
abundance of bathrooms, so its never been a necessity like it sort of is now with this being the
only shower available to the two of them. Right.
Harry continues to rub the shampoo into Louis hair, and hes only two seconds from literally
purring, which is all sorts of embarrassing, honestly. If anyone is a human version of a cat out of
the two of them, its definitely Harry. When he apparently deems that hes cleaned Louis hair
thoroughly enough, he takes down the shower head and rinses the soap out of his hair, careful not
to get any in his eyes.
Louis is about to turn around to face him as he hangs the shower head again, but hes stopped
when his warm hand comes to rest on his wet shoulder, applying just enough pressure to make
him stay where he is. When it seems that Harry has become confident that he will be staying still,
he loosens his grip and snakes one hand around him, spreading it over the lowest part of his
tummy, just above his groin, while the other trails down his back.
The hand trailing down his back is covered in something slippery, which Louis supposes must be
soap, and he hasnt a clue how Harry managed to coat his hand in soap without him noticing but
then again, hes always suspected that the boy was at least part magic, so. A fairy maybe, one of
those ridiculous ones who has flowers in their hair and talks to all the animals in the woods, who
has birds that braid his hair and
Harrys hand has made its way all the way down Louis back to his arse, slipping between his
cheeks and ghosting over his hole. His body sort of locks in anticipation for whats about to
happen, completely frozen until Harrys finger pushes inside. He shudders at the sensation, the
soap not quite as effective as lube, so its just a bit rougher than normal, just a bit more primal. Its
fucking amazing.
Harry doesnt exactly finger him though, its more like hes well, its almost like hes just
rubbing the soap around a bit, not going very far in, while his other hand rubs small circles on
Louis tummy.
Hes just about to push back, to demand Harry does something, anything, when he withdraws his
hand completely. For a few seconds Louis is confused and missing the pressure of Harrys finger,
is just about to say something, let out a fucking whimper, whatever, when Harrys fingers are
back, this time soap free as they enter Louis hole, which is still a slick from the soap.
He hasnt got a clue what Harry is doing, because it seems like hes trying to get the soap away,
and what the fuck was the whole point then, fucking hell. He's getting so hard, its such a fucking
turn on being at Harrys mercy like this, not knowing what's coming next, but knowing that this
boy is pretty much a guarantee of the fact that it will end up in a bloody amazing orgasm.
As much as he likes to be the one in control, being the one holding Harry down, being the one
pulling the strings, its kind of fantastic to be able to just hand over the reins to Harry too. To just
trust that he will take care of him.
Harry removes his fingers again after a moment, and Louis is starting to get a little fed up with him
being a fucking tease, when he feels him plaster himself against Louis body from behind,
drawing his arms around him in a backwards hug. His cock is so fucking hard and trapped
between Louis back and Harry himself, and Louis revels in the fact that at least hes not the only
one so fucking desperate for it. And its all just from Harry playing with Louis body, fuck. Louis
has barely laid a hand on Harry, theres literally nothing but what Harrys hands have been doing
to him that could have turned him on, andLouis is getting sort of dizzy, really, like if he doesnt
get off soon, he might actually pass out or something.
Harrys mouth is right by Louis ear when he whispers, sending shivers down his spine. Tell me
if you want me to stop.
The enquiry about what the fuck Harrys talking about is lost in Louis throat as he feels him drop
to his knees behind him, the water still falling around them, keeping them warm, though honestly,
Louis' every cell feels like it is on fire, he could probably walk naked in Antarctica and still feel
perfectly toasty.
The next thing he feels is Harrys hands spreading apart his cheeks, and then his tongue giving a
tentative lick over his hole.
Holy. Fucking. Shit.
Okay, so, like the thing with the whole no proper actual relationship with a guy, all one night
stands thing is that, well, rimjobs wasnt exactly a part of the equation for Louis. It had always
seemed just a tad too intimate to be something he wanted to go at with a boy hed most likely
never see outside of some award show or celebrity party again. So, yeah, Louis has never before
had another boys tongue up his arse, but fucking bloody hell, has he been missing out!
His knees nearly give out when Harrys tongue licks over him again, and he leans forward,
bracing himself against the wall as an attempt not to fall. If these first two licks are any indications
of how its going to continue to feel, it will be a right fucking miracle if he's anything but a puddle
of goo on the floor of the shower stall when theyre done.
Harry fits his lips around his hole and sucks gently, drawing an actual whimper from him as his
entire body shakes, the pleasure so overwhelming, and Louis has had some fucking fantastic
orgasms particularly over the last two months with Harry, because like with everything else in
their lives, theyre just so, so sexually compatible but even then theres still something different
about this. Something hot and dirty and, Christ, Harry is licking his arsehole, and it justit just
feels fucking amazing.
Eventually, Harry slips his tongue inside him, fucking in and out with it, prompting small
whimpers of pleasure from him. Its strange, Louis is normally notoriously loud in bed, can moan
like a fucking champ and talk so dirty that he once got Harry to come largely untouched from just
his words. Hes not quiet. As Harry once so eloquently put it, Louis is loud, loud, loud.
Not right now, though. He literally cant do anything but whimper, letting out these tiny needy
noises hes not even sure Harry can hear over the deafening sound of the shower or the soft tunes
coming from the radio. Louis can barely hear it over the roaring in his ears.
He tries to grab his cock with one hand, so desperate for some pressure he would probably sell his
soul to the devil if thats what he had to do, but his hand is swatted away by Harry. It puts across
the message quite neatly, Louis is not allowed to touch himself.
It continues like that for, well, he has no idea how long. He feels so tightly wound with pleasure,
like a thread that's been pulled tighter and tighter and tighter, and is now threatening to unravel
any second. He feels so good and so desperate at the same time, panting helplessly. His hand
travels back around to knot itself in Harrys wet curls, pulling slightly, and he doesnt even know
what he hopes to achieve with this action, he doesnt even know if he wants Harry to stop or keep
going (probably both, honestly), just that he needs something to hold onto, something to ground
him.
When Harry pulls his tongue away from him, he places two closed mouthed kisses over his hole
before standing up again. He spins Louis around so theyre facing each other and seems to take in
his appearance for a moment, before surging forward and connecting their lips.
He tastes a little bit like soap and sort of musty andfuck. He kisses Louis with a fervour which
seemingly knows no boundaries. Its not enough though, not enough, even when Harry is close,
so close, hands roaming all over him. Not enough, because Louis dick feels like its going to
fucking explode, its so hard, he needs, shit, he needs it so bad, needs Harry to touch him so bad.
Harry does. He wraps his massive hand around both their cocks at the same time, stroking them
tightly together, his dick every bit as rock hard as Louis. It doesnt take long really, not long at all,
before Louis is coming, biting into Harrys shoulder, enough to just break the skin. Harry comes
too, as soon as his teeth sink in.
It takes a while after that for Louis to calm down and get his senses back. He doesnt have a clue
how long they stand there, leaning on each other while the water washes away the come between
them.
Eventually Harry turns off the shower and somehow guides Louis out of it before wrapping him
in a big fluffy towel. Louis feels a bit useless really, but also a lot nice, and he still cant quite
believe that just happened, body still thrumming with pleasure.
They dry off and get dressed in silence, Louis slipping into Harrys lavender jumper once more.
Its fast become his favourite, and its positively massive on him, but its also so, so comfortable,
soft and warm, and it still smells like Harry. Perfect piece of clothing, absolutely.
Once hes dressed, he looks up to see Harry shrugging on an oversized black knitted jumper, and
doesnt really think twice of it before sidling up to him, pressing close and wrapping his arms
around his tall frame.
Cuddle me, please? he murmurs into his neck, feeling needy and a little bit antsy, and a lot like a
good cuddle could help.
Of course, Harry says, tightening his arms around him. Anytime, Louis. Hes silent for a
moment, then, even quieter, Was that okay, or?
Louis laughs into his collarbone, shaking his head fondly. Are you kidding me? he asks, lips
grazing Harrys skin as he speaks. You rendered me literally speechless. Like, it might actually
top the holiday tickets on the list of best birthday gifts ever.
Im glad, he hears Harry murmur into his hair, as he slowly starts to feel somewhat normally
functioning again. Harry pulls slightly at Louis jumper, pulling back just enough to look him in
the eyes, raising an eyebrow with a teasing smile. Youve grown quite fond of this jumper, huh?
Louis snorts, before burying his head in the crook of Harrys neck again. Mate, he says. Ive
been jealous of this jumper for years. Now that I can actually wear it without management shitting
a brick, Im going to, yeah? Youre just gonna have to get used to it.
Harry hums in recognition and pulls Louis even tighter against him. I dont mind, he confesses,
Though were gonna have to share it. Im quite fond of that jumper myself.
Sharing is caring. Louis states with a smirk, though Harry cant see it, what with Louis face
pressed into his neck.
Louis feels Harry nod. Charity starts at home, he finishes, before silence settles over them for a
few brief moments.
Have you ever Louis starts, before trailing off, not sure why hes even bringing this up. He
coughs slightly before finishing, Before?
Harry seems to instantly know what hes referring to, though that probably isnt all that surprising,
since what else could he really be referring to?
No, he admits. First time, actually.
And honestly, Louis finds that quite surprising, what with how fucking brilliant at it he was.
Well, he says, fisting his hands in Harrys sweater as he takes a step back, allowing space
between the two of them again. Youre really quite the natural. Im impressed.
Yeah? Harry asks, dimples deepening, as if it wasnt perfectly obvious how very gone Louis
had been, how he could barely function through the overwhelming pleasure.
Yeah. Louis confirms softly. Im gonna have to return the favour sometime.
Harry frowns and then shakes his head, You dont have to, Lou, like, thats not why
I know thats not why you did it, Haz. He interrupts. I want to, yeah? And its the truth, it
really, really is. Its also kind of strange, because hes never ever had someone who he wanted to
do that for, but boy does he want to do it for Harry, wants to make him feel every bit as good as
he made Louis feel.
Harry hesitates for a moment before nodding. Alright, he says, before changing the subject.
Wanna come downstairs and make breakfast for the others?
Louis laughs, Am I really supposed to make breakfast for others on my birthday? Seems a bit
backwards, no? Hes already moving towards the door.
Harry chuckles, Well, what I meant was, how about I cook breakfast and you keep me company
and sample it all?
Sounds much better, babe, Louis nods, as Harry catches up with him, and together they make
their way to the kitchen.


The rest of the day is honestly probably the nicest birthday Louis has ever had. Harry makes
waffles per his request, while he sits on the counter picking at the first waffle Harry finished. The
rest of Louis family filters into the kitchen as Harry is finishing the last waffle, as though they
could smell that breakfast was ready. Maybe they could.
From then on its a myriad of birthday wishes and an impromptu song started by Fizzie and Harry,
and presents from his family. Its a mixture of bought and homemade gifts, and it turns out that
Harry is almost even more excited than Louis when he sees the number of things the twins have
made from painted cups, to paintings, to what Louis thinks was supposed to be a knitted scarf.
Hes gushing about where to put it up in their house, and Louis is one hundred percent sure that
he's dead serious. Its making Daisy and Phoebes day. Louis' too, if he's being honest.
They all 'awww' appropriately when they learn what he got from Harry, and its just a really,
really wonderful morning. Just like the last time Harry had been here with him, he just fits so
seamlessly and effortlessly into Louis family, its like hes always been there, like he is supposed
to be here, and it makes Louis so, so happy. Hes always felt so welcome with Harrys family,
always thought of it as a sort of refuge, a place for him to go when it was all going bad, a place
where he was guaranteed to be able to be just Louis, just himself, exactly as he is, because there
were never any younger siblings who couldnt know his real sexuality or the fact that he was still
friends with Harry.
Its nice to see Harry feel as genuinely at home with Louis family as he does with Harrys. Its
nice to see Harry and Fizzie joke with each other, or Harry and Lottie gossip about the stars that
he knows. Its nice seeing him so genuinely interested in what Phoebe and Daisy are telling him,
or him doting on Doris and Ernest. Its nice seeing him talk cooking and gardening with Louis
mum, and golfing with Dan. Its just so, so nice.
Louis catches his mothers eyes across the table, and shes smiling softly at him, eyes knowing.
He averts his gaze quickly, picking up conversation with Dan.
After breakfast Harry tweets his photo of Louis, Louis' phone going off as hes sat in the living
room with Doris, trying to entertain her while Harry helps his mother with the dishes. He pulls out
his phone after hearing the notification and opens it to see Harrys tweet. His entire chest feels like
its going to positively burst.
The rest of the day is pretty much everything Louis could have wished for and more. Its just so
lovely being home, being surrounded by all the people he loves the most, missing only the three
other boys who he and Harry Skype with individually throughout the day. In the evening his mum
makes dinner while Harry makes dessert, and when they are all done eating, Louis and Harry
hand out their presents to every one, and the girls are allowed to open theirs while Harry and
Louis are still there with them. It had taken one very long day wandering about London together
to pick them all out, but it is so very worth it to see how happy they make his siblings. After this,
they bid Louis family goodbye, opting to drive to Annes now since theyll be leaving her
tomorrow evening in order to have time to pack up and be ready for their early flight on Boxing
Day.
The drive there is fairly silent, both of them tired after the day and quite anxious just to get to
Annes. Snow is falling steadily, though luckily not too thickly, so the roads are covered, and its
dark outside; not altogether too pleasant driving conditions.
They havent talked about how its going to be when they get to Harrys parents house, even
though they are steadily getting closer and closer, and Louis thinks that may be a huge mistake on
their parts. Its the first occasion outside the time they spend just the two of them at home, or the
rare times theyre with the other boys without a single other person present, that they dont have to
pretend to be a couple, and Louis isnt exactly sure how theyre supposed to handle it.
And its different when theyre home at any rate, ever since they started adding benefits to their
friendship. Louis doubts Harry has told his mother about that part, even though the two of them
are close. There are certain things better kept secret from one's mother. They havent even filled in
the other boys, though Louis thinks they know anyway, or at the very least suspect. Louis has
gotten enough knowing looks from Zayn to realise that the other boy knows something is going
on behind closed doors. Surprisingly, he hasnt brought it up though, and Louis is definitely not
going to be the one to, so.
But they should have talked about it, maybe, yes. Just, like... well. What are they supposed to do?
Should they sleep apart? They havent really got a reason to sleep together is all? Not that they
really had at home before they started shagging, but Louis definitely slept better when he was with
Harry, right from the start, but he isnt really sure sleeping in the same bed is a particularly good
idea when they cant as much as give each other a cheeky handjob. Not even in the shower,
because, really, he'd like to see how they'd explain that one away.
So probably best to stay in separate rooms, yes. Fuckthats going to be so strange, he really
hasnt slept without Harry for what feels like actual ages, isnt sure hes going to be able to. He
has to though, there's going to come a time, a time which is moving closer and closer, Louis
knows, where this is all going to stop. Where they're going to have to move apart and go back to
being just friends, where Louis will finally be able to actually do something to find someone to
spend the rest of his life with, someone to have kids with, someone to share everything with.
Harry will do the same. It makes Louis feel sick to his stomach.
Im probably gonna go out for a few hours with Johnny and some of the lads if thats okay with
you? You know, like I always do? Harry says eventually, when theyre only twenty minutes
from Holmes Chapel. It startles Louis out of his thoughts, and he turns to face the other man,
seeing his face tilted slightly towards him as he tries to keep his attention on both Louis and the
road. Hes worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, looking worried, as if Louis would actually
ever say no. Ridiculous.
Course, H, he says with a reassuring smile. Its no problem, Im knackered anyway, Ill just
go to bed.
Harry frowns for a moment. You could come with me, if youd like. Johnny wouldnt mind.
Louis shakes his head, quite content with the idea of just going to bed, maybe scrolling through
twitter; he should probably say thank you for all the birthday wishes and such. Yeah. No, really,
babe. Go have fun with him. You know Im terrible with time zones, I should probably try to be
as well rested for Thailand as possible, and knowing you and Gemma, youll have us up by the
crack of dawn tomorrow.
Harry grins sheepishly, before his face morphs into one of uncertainty. If youre sure?
Course I am, Harry. Id tell you if I wasnt.
He finally seems placated, so he nods and smiles at Louis. The rest of the drive passes in silence,
the soft Christmas tunes from the radio being the only thing heard over the noise of the car.
When they pull into Anne and Robins driveway and get out of the car, Anne is already at the
door waiting for them, a big smile upon her face.
Hi, love, she greets them, hugging first Louis and then Harry.
Hi, mum, Harry grins, kissing her cheek. Im just dropping off the bags and Lou here, and then
Im meeting up with Johnny like I usually do. Shouldnt be more than an hour or two, but I expect
youll all be sleeping when I get home.
Of course, darling, Anne smiles. Just drive safe, please, you never know with this snow.
Will do, Harry nods, as he places their bags on the floor before kissing his mum on the cheek
again. He looks at Louis, hesitates, clearly caught off guard, because of course his first instinct
would be to kiss Louis goodbye too, its what they would have done under literally any other
circumstances, but now theres really no plausible reason to.
See you tomorrow, Haz. Louis says instead, hoping to ease Harrys inner turmoil.
Harry nods, an odd expression upon his face, sort of contemplating almost. Sweet dreams, Lou.
He murmurs before throwing a wave over his shoulder at the both of them and then closing the
door behind him.
Louis turns to Anne with a smile, finding the older women already looking at him.
Care for some tea before bed? She questions, and continues without waiting for Louis answer.
Robin is wrapping the last couple of presents upstairs and Gemma is watching over the
shortbread in the oven. I think its about due to come out, we could probably sneak one to go
along with it. Oh, and happy birthday, of course! I trust you had a nice day?
Louis nods, Sounds lovely, Anne. And thank you. And yes, I had a great day.
They start moving towards the kitchen, as she continues to talk about this and that. Apparently it
had been a proper struggle finding a present for Harry (Louis can definitely sympathise), she met
up with his mum recently (Louis actually wasnt aware of that), and she was quite looking
forward to attending some of their shows this tour (it still hasnt sunk in for Louis that theyre only
about two weeks from their first show, what the fuck?)
They step into the kitchen just as Gemma is pulling a tray of biscuits out of the oven, the radio
softly playing Christmas songs in the background. She sets the tray down and turns around to face
him with a warm smile, as she pulls off her oven gloves.
Louis! She exclaims happily, opening her arms and stepping towards him.
Gemma! Louis grins in return, accepting her in a tight hug. It's been ages since the last they saw
each other, despite the fact that she also resides in London. Harrys gone to visit her multiple
times, of course, but he hasnt had her around the house, and Louis hasnt been with him to any of
the lunches, or walks, or gallery opening the siblings have gone to together.
Thought I heard you and my brother come in, but I was on strict shortbread watch duty, so I
couldnt go check. She gestures at to where Anne is now lifting a few biscuits off the tray and
onto a cool plate, presumably so that they can cool off enough for them to be able to eat them with
tea. Where is he though?
Ditched me, Louis sighs dramatically, clutching his heart in mock hurt. Right up and left me,
didnt he? Not even a second glance. Tragic, really. Off to the pub with the mates he likes better
than me.
She grins and nudges his shoulder. Poor babes, and on your birthday, too, what a scoundrel, she
says, nodding her head in sympathy. Now everyone will think that hes come home without
you.
Louis frowns, because yes, thats true. The whole point of spending Christmas together with each
others families was that the world would know it, it would seem a couple-y thing to do. So, well,
if people are going to see the pictures of Harry at the pub, which there will no doubt be, are they
just going to assume that they separated after Louis birthday? Theyre going to have to do
something to solidify the fact that hes in Holmes Chapel too.
Cmere, Gemma says, startling Louis out of his thoughts. Shes got her phone out, camera app
open. Well take a selfie, yeah? Dispel those poor break-up rumours my brothers presence at the
pub is no doubt stirring, eh?
Louis grins and nods, because thats really the perfect solution, isnt it? They press close together,
smiles big as Gemma presses the button of her iPhone, before setting about instagraming and
tweeting the photo. Shes still got a massive following on both social media accounts, so Louis has
no doubt therell be little time before its common knowledge that hes in Cheshire with Harrys
family.
Done! She grins at him, putting her phone down on the side as she goes to grab a few mugs out
of the cupboard, Anne having gone upstairs to presumably get Robin.
Louis pulls out his own phone to find a text from Harry telling him that there are so many fans at
the pub, all of them apparently interested in knowing if Louis was there as well. He quickly texts
him to take a look at Gemmas twitter, along with a winky smiley, before opening his own twitter
app and doing exactly that.
He lets out a chuckle when he sees what she wrote; hes always loved Gemma, the two of them
getting along splendidly. They converse idly for a few minutes as they wait for the kettle to finish
boiling, before a notification sounds from both their phones. Louis pulls his free, and sees that its
indicating that Harry has tweeted. Curious as to what he has to say, he pulls it up on his phone,
and knows that Gemma must have done so too when he hears her quiet chuckle.
Little charmer, isnt he? she asks, grinning, as they carry the mugs, tea, and biscuits to the table,
just as Anne and Robin make their way down the stairs. Louis hums in agreement, throwing a
smile her way before going to greet Robin, getting a hug and a happy birthday his way.
They spend the next twenty minutes with their tea, chatting, until they seem to reach a general
consensus that its time to go to bed. Louis goes into the hall to get his bags, and meets Anne by
the stairs.
I made up the bed in the spare room for you, she says with a smile, as they both make their way
upstairs. Unless youre sleeping with Harry?
Louis shakes his head with a small smile of his own. No, he says. Its fine. Im knackered, Ill
just go straight to sleep.
Alright, love, she nods, as they reach the door to the spare room. Have a nice sleep, yeah? Ill
see you in the morning.
Louis nods and returns the sentiment, before leaning in and giving her a peck on the cheek. Good
night, Anne.
As soon as hes inside the room, he grabs his toiletries, making his way to the bathroom. He takes
care of all he needs to do quickly, before moving back to his room, stripping down to his pants
and getting into bed.
He snuggles into the covers and then opens his twitter app, thumbing through some of the
mentions and birthday greetings hes gotten throughout the day. Finally he thumbs out his own
one, after mulling for a few moments over what to write, and pushes send.
He puts down his phone then, supposing he might as well get some sleep now, since hell
undoubtedly be getting up early hes quite sure that Harry and Gemma are every bit as awful as
a pair of five year olds, if hes being honest.
It feels strange, this sleeping alone thing. He misses the weight of Harrys arms around him,
misses the warmth of the other boy pressed against him, misses the gentle rhythm of his beating
heart. Hes grown so, so used to having him next to him, so used to it that he nearly caves, nearly
gathers his duvet and moves into Harrys room to wait for him to get back. That wont solve
anything, though, is the thing. If he cant even sleep one lousy night alone now, how is he
supposed to do so after months of a tour with shared hotel rooms? Shared hotel rooms that will
surely only have one bed, because theres no use risking having a hotel employee spreading
rumours.
So, no. Louis' gotta man up, really. Gotta get it together. Harry wont always be there to hold him
in his sleep, and he just has to get used to that. Yes.
He squeezes his eyes tighter together, willing himself to go to sleep, when he hears the stairs
creak. Harry must be getting home, he hopes. That, or theres either a burglar, or Father Christmas
in the house right now, and all things considered, Louis quite thinks that Harry is the most realistic
guess. He hears bustling in the hall outside his door, and someone entering Harrys room, which is
directly across from the spare room.
He doesnt know what Harry expects, doesnt know if he expects to find Louis snuggled into his
bed and is now presented with the view of an empty one? Maybe hes relieved to finally get to
sleep alone, fuck if Louis knows.
Someone is moving in the hallway again, Louis can hear, and he snuggles further into his duvet as
the handle of the door to his room is pulled, careful to keep his breath steady and deep even
though his heart is going a mile a minute. Hes not too sure why hes pretending to be asleep,
knows only that it was his instinctive reaction for some reason, and hes not about to jump ship
now.
The door opens slowly, creaking slightly. Theres silence, only overshadowed by the quiet sounds
of Harry breathing, as he must peer into the room and see Louis.
Oh, Louis hears him breathe out. A few moments pass, and he still hasnt heard the sound of the
door closing, of Harry leaving, knows that the other boy must still be watching him. Right, he
hears Harry whisper then, before the door closes behind him.
Louis lets out a breath he didnt know hed been holding, before opening his eyes, peering into the
dark room Harry just vacated.
He stays awake long after, tossing and turning, and unable to sleep. When he finally drifts off, its
to restless sleep and disturbing dreams.


He wakes up the next morning, to Harrys gentle voice and his hand on his shoulder.
Hey, hey, he says, moving his thumbs to stroke the bag under Louis eyes as he blinks them
open. Morning, babe. Happy Christmas. Are you ready to get up? Everyones downstairs.
Louis lets out a small moan and twists his head enough to sort of rub his cheek against Harrys
palm.
Hey, Harry says again, concern marring his voice. Are you feeling okay? Youre looking a bit
peaky.
Louis nods and sighs. Yeah, he says, and moves to sit up in bed. Sorry, Im just exhausted.
Didnt sleep very well.
Im sorry, Harry says sincerely, looking it, even though he has absolutely no blame in this.
Not your fault, Louis shakes his head. Suppose I just dont sleep that well alone, eh?
Why were you? Alone, I mean. I justI got home, yeah? And you were in here, and he trails
off, and it takes Louis a moment to reply.
Thought we should maybe spend a night apart, you know? I dont know. Clearly, it wasnt my
brightest idea since I slept worse than that time Liam dragged us camping in the rain and my air
mattress lost all its air.
I didnt really sleep that well either, Harry admits, smiling at him sheepishly. Ive grown maybe
just a bit used to having you next to me.
Were sad, Louis sighs with a low chuckle. Sad and pathetic is what we are. Now shuffle out
so I can get dressed, Harold.
Harry grins and runs his finger down Louis bare chest. Nothing I havent seen before.
And no, Louis thinks, rolling his eyes, it really, really isnt.


The next 36 hours pass quickly, and before Louis knows it, hes sitting first class on a plane to
Thailand. Christmas with Harrys family had been lovely, relaxed and comfortable, with excellent
food and good company. Theyd ended up driving home in the evening, after watching Love
Actually with Harrys family, to get a nights sleep at home before packing up their bags and
leaving for the airport. They're flying to Bangkok, and from there taking another flight to the
airport in Koh Samui, apparently. It means shit to Louis, really, hes never been to Thailand, so
its all just names and places, and odd sounds that dont mean a thing to him yet. According to
Harry, theyre then being met by people from the resort at the airport and taken to a speedboat
thatll take them to Koh Phangan, which is a 30 minute trip away, and also where theyre staying.
Its the island infamous for its full moon parties, Harry informs him halfway through their flight to
Bangkok, after theyve both slept for a few hours and are bored out of their minds.
Its a long trip, all in all, and by the time theyre finally being handed the key to their private beach
front villa, Louis is so knackered he feels like he could probably sleep from now until a good
while into 2015. Its still only dinner time, Thai time, and if theres anything theyve learned from
their vast amount of travelling and crossing time zones, it's that its paramount to get into the
rhythm of the local time zone as quickly as possible.
So they make their way to the restaurant connected to the resort to have dinner, and afterwards
take a stroll down the beach. Its so beautiful here, the sand soft and the water azure, the sky void
of any clouds and the temperature warm still, even though its evening and the sun is low in the
sky. The resort is surrounded by green covered hills, small huts of another resort peeking up
through the branches in the distance.
And their villa is bloody gorgeous, a huge king size bed sitting in the middle of the room, large
windows allowing a beautiful view of the sea, only twenty small steps away. Its a little slice of
paradise really, with a small private pool and plenty of opportunity to just relax. Its perfect,
absolutely perfect for pre-tour energy charging, and Harry is the perfect companion to bring.
They spend the first couple of days just doing absolutely nothing. Its glorious, and Louis is
working up quite the tan. Hes never really been the kind of person who was content with doing
absolutely nothing for days on end, but right now he literally cant think of anything hed rather
do. He pens lyrics for a few potential songs, listens to a lot of music, and even reads one of the
many books Harry had brought, and all of it without ever growing restless or bored. Theres
something quite magical about this place, a sort of tranquillity that seems to seep into his bones.
Its private too, the resort, the other inhabitants paying little attention to the two of them being
there. Theyve only been asked for one photo since they arrived, a teenage girl on vacation with
her family, and theyd both readily complied. Its not like it was exactly a hardship.
On the second day theyre there, all power cuts off as theyre about to go to bed. It happens in the
blink of an eye, Louis one moment half watching BBC news on the TV in their room, the next
being surrounded by darkness. A confused Harry enters the room from the bathroom a few
seconds later, hair still wet from his shower.
Was that the power that went? He asks, as he moves a towel through his curls.
Yeah, Louis nods, peering out the large window. Dunno if its just us or
Ill go ask the reception, yeah?
Louis nods, ruffling his still damp hair with his hand, willing it to dry quicker. While Harry is
gone he finishes getting ready for bed while the temperature in the room steadily rises due to the
sudden lack of working fan and air condition. Louis really, really hopes they get the power back
soon because hes never been good at sleeping when hes feeling too hot, and he knows, without
the shadow of a doubt, that if this is how its going to be, if its only going to get warmer and
warmer in their room as the night progresses, he might as well give up on sleep entirely. Its going
to be naught but a distant dream.
Its the entire island, Harry says when he returns, holding a bunch of candles in his hand.
Theyre working on getting it back, but it could be a few hours.
Louis grunts and fall back onto the bed. Brilliant, is exactly what it is. If it werent for the
mosquitos, hed probably prefer to sleep outside to be honest, at least it would probably be cooler.
However theres also no saying what might crawl past him, so on second thought, he might just
stick to a hot, sleepless night. Hell just have to take a good, long nap in the sun tomorrow.
He crawls under the covers, and is joined by Harry a few moments later.
Night, Lou, the younger man says, running a finger down his bare arm, but otherwise doesnt
move to touch him. Its not that theyve stopped cuddling in bed, not at all, but it seems that Harry
has wisely understood quite without Louis having to tell him that Louis is feeling hot enough
without adding Harrys body heat to the mixture. Hes a saint.
Its not long before Harrys breathing evens out, his chest rising in a slow, even rhythm, a dead
giveaway that hes fallen asleep. Its not that easy for Louis, he tosses and turns, moves from one
position to the next in attempt to find some rest, to just fall asleep. Its the most frustrating thing in
the world, and hes just so, so hot; feels like he might actually melt.
He contemplates everything from spraying himself up and down in mosquito spray and going
outside to sit, to going to take the coolest shower ever known to the existence of men. In the end,
he settles for at least getting out of the bed, sick of staring at the ceiling.
Hey, comes Harrys sleep-groggy voice as he grips Louis forearm, just as he has sat up and is
about to swing his legs over the side of the bed to stand up. Where are you going?
Shh, go back to sleep, H, he murmurs quietly. I didnt mean to wake you, Im sorry.
No, no, Harry shakes his head, sitting up properly in bed, rubbing his eyes with his fisted hands
and looking every bit the cutest thing ever. He reaches over to look at his phone before turning
back to Louis, the soft light coming from his phone now placed in his lap being the only thing
illuminating the room. Its three thirty, babe, why are you awake?
Louis shrugs sheepishly, before replying, Cant sleep, stoo hot.
Have you been awake this whole time?
He shrugs again. I spose so, yeah.
Lou Harry breathes out, sitting up on his knees to get closer to him, and taking his face in his
hands. Why didnt you wake me up? You should have woken me up.
You were sleeping, Haz, I didnt want to disturb you. Besides, its not like you could do
anything to change it.
Harry looks contemplative for only a few seconds, forehead creased, before closing the space
between them, sealing their lips together. They havent actually kissed since getting to Thailand,
for some reason. Louis doesnt even know why, but its like they had some unspoken rule to keep
all interaction platonic. Maybe its that they dont really have to put on a show here, the mere fact
that theyre staying here together is doing its job of selling them as a couple. Louis doesnt know
why they havent, but now they are, its difficult imagining how hes gone almost a week without
kissing him, now that he feels Harrys lips against his own again, the kiss soft as Harry sneaks his
tongue into his mouth.
Somewhere along the line, Harry pushes him back so hes lying on his back, Harry straddling his
thighs and leaning over him. He gets his hand on Louis' dick, stroking it to hardness before
tightening his grip and starting to wank him off properly, all while he keeps kissing him, slow and
deep. Louis is panting and moaning into Harrys mouth as they kiss, and when he feels himself
being close, he tugs gently on Harrys hair, trying to signal it to him. It results in Harry drawing
back, releasing Louis lips with a loud smack, and then shuffling down the bed to take the tip of
Louis dick into his mouth, sucking gently and lapping his tongue over the slit.
Louis comes with a breathy moan and an arched back, shooting into Harrys mouth as the
younger man swallows it all.
Afterwards, Harry tucks Louis dick back into his pants, before drawing the sheet around their
bodies and pulling him close. Its hot, still so fucking hot in the room, and even hotter now with
Harry pressed against him from behind, but his orgasm has left him sleepy and pliant, and after
breathing out a soft thank you to Harry, and receiving a kiss on the back of his neck in reply, he
finally falls asleep.


Its a bit like time passes differently in Thailand, like the days and nights melt together,
simultaneously moving at the speed of light and at a snails pace. They continue to spend their
days doing absolutely nothing, only leaving their villa on New Years Eve to visit Haad Rin
Beach and the infamous Full Moon Party. Its so much fun being there, not at all their usual scene
and such a normal thing for a pair of lads in their twenties to do. Miraculously, they only get
recognized a couple of times, the sheer amount of people, the darkness of night, and copious
amounts of alcohol people have consumed all contributing to their anonymity. Its nice.
They buy small vials of brightly coloured paint, and have a blast painting each other all over their
bodies in silly patterns, foregoing the professional painters to do it themselves. They drink the
famous buckets and plenty of Chang beer, and Louis feels more twenty-one than twenty-five, and
its honestly the best New Years Eve hes had in ages.
Harry is equal parts fascinated and frightened over the many different versions of fire shows
ooh-ing and ahh-ing when its professional people doing them, and cringing and hiding his face in
Louis chest when its drunken backpackers. Hes got his iPhone clutched in his hands throughout
the entire evening, the other usually occupied by Louis, and hes snapping pictures of everything
and everyone, especially of Louis. Louis is exactly the perfect amount of drunk to positively preen
at the attention hes getting from him, posing, and smiling, and doing silly stuff for his camera,
making him giggle in response.
When theyre sitting in the back of the car thats taking them home, the driver going faster than
Louis would have ever dared in the hilly terrain, he whips out his phone to thumb through twitter,
Harrys head resting against his shoulder, gently snoozing. How he can sleep through this hell of a
ride, Louis will never know. He finds two new tweets from Harry, the first either of them have
tweeted since arriving in Thailand, though Louis knows that the few fan photos theyve taken
have pretty much confirmed their whereabouts. He opens the both tweets.

Louis chuckles to himself before stuffing his phone back into his pocket and resting his head
against Harrys.


The next day Louis wakes up to an empty bed, thankfully without a hangover, and checks his
phone to see that its well past noon. He gets out of bed and goes in search of Harry, finding him
lying on the patio in an open shirt, Adidas shorts, and the hat Louis had bought for him. Its a silly
combination, and it definitely shouldnt look as hot as it does.
Morning, babe, he says when he hears Louis approach, but he doesnt lift his head to
acknowledge him, too caught up in whatever hes writing in that notebook of his.
Not so much morning anymore, Louis counters, as he sneaks a picture of Harry, before
plopping down beside him and setting about tweeting it.
When hes released the picture of Harry to the world he tosses his phone aside, before running his
hand through the hair hanging into his face, attempting to push it back only to have it fall into his
eyes again. He huffs out a frustrated sigh, slicking it back with his hand, using more force this time
but to no avail, as it stubbornly flops right back into his eyes.
What are you doing? Harry laughs, having finally closed his notebook and turned his full
attention to him.
Louis flops backwards so hes lying on his back and turns his head to the side to look at him. It
keeps flopping into my eyes, and its too damn hot to have this hair all over my forehead, Im
fucking melting. It comes out grumpy, but sue him, hes hot and sweaty already, and his stupid
hair is sticking to his forehead, and hes just about had enough of it.
Wait a sec, Harr smiles, getting up from where hes been lying. I know just what to do. Be
right back.
Louis closes his eyes and wait for him to return. The air is filled with the sounds of the waves
crashing and the insects chirping if you could actually call it that, Louis isnt sure, hes not
exactly an expert on wildlife.
Harry returns a minute or two later, carrying one of his headscarves in his hand and wearing the
biggest grin. Harryyy Louis warns, but he just cuts him off with a shake of his head, smile not
dimming in the slightest.
Just trust me, yeah?
Louis sits up again and nods, staying mute as Harry moves behind him and sets to work on his
hair. A few moments later, he's tied in the headscarf, like Louis has so often done to him, and
steps back with a loud Voila!
Louis turns his head to look at him, raising his eyebrow in question, and cant help but smile as
Harrys own smile widens impossibly.
Looks really good, Lou. Really, really good.
Louis plans on wearing it for the rest of their trip.


On the day before theyre flying back home, Harry informs him over lunch that hes got a surprise
for him. Hes never really been good at surprises, too curious for his own good, but he indulges
him and doesnt pry about it too much. After lunch they pack their bags as good as they can, and
go to spend their last few last hours with proper sun on the beach. Theyve both worked up a
lovely tan, Louis' skin dark and golden, just like he prefers it. He makes sure to enjoy it as much
as he can, revelling in being able to just relax, knows that in only a few days their first tour in two
years, their world tour, begins, and time to himself is going to be a very foreign concept.
They have an early dinner in their room and when theyre done eating, Harry grabs his hand and
tells him with a big smile that its time for his surprise. Besides their time at the Full Moon Party,
they havent really left the resort, but theyve already talked about coming back sometime and
experiencing more of the local culture, maybe travelling around the country a bit, going up north
perhaps. For now Harry merely leads him to the reception desk, speaking a few words with the
girl sitting there and receiving something small from her.
He returns to Louis and takes his hand again, leading him outside and stopping in front of a
motorcycle which he hadnt paid any attention to when they'd passed earlier. Harry jiggles the
keys he must just have received with a shit eating grin.
Wanna go for a ride with me?
Louis refrains from commenting on how thats basically the opening to Barbie Girl, and just raises
an eyebrow, lips quirked into a lopsided smile. On these roads, Harold? My, my living on the
edge, are we?
Harry shrugs and continues to grin as he hands him one of the helmets from the ground next to the
bike. All the cool kids are doing it.
All the insane kids, you mean?
Wheres your sense of adventure, Lou? Come on!
Louis allows his smile to break out fully on his face, taking the helmet from Harry and putting it
on. Sure, Ken. Just dont crash us right before our world tour, please.
Harry sighs in mock exasperation. Fine then, but only because you said please.
(If Louis grins just a little bit wider, well no one can see his face with the helmet on.)

He's actually never ridden a bike with Harry before, though he has, much like the rest of the
world, seen the many pap shots of him cruising around LA on one. He definitely understands
Harrys fascination, because riding one is fucking brilliant. Hes got his arms tightly wound
around Harrys middle as they drive up and down the roads of Koh Phangan. Theyre not going
particularly fast, as the road are dubious and badly manufactured, the turns sharp, and Louis has
never experienced roads that go up and down so much. And thats not to mention the ridiculous
amount of young backpackers whove never sat on a bike before getting on one as soon as they
land in Thailand.
So while Louis is quite grateful that theyre not going faster than they are, hes also itching to;
hell have to get Harry to take him for a proper ride when theyre back, thatll have to be the
answer.
When theyve driven for about twenty minutes, and havent seen a soul for at least the last ten,
Harry pulls over. Theyre high up, a fence preventing them from being able to fall to their deaths
into the ocean surrounding the island, and he parks the motorcycle. Theyre got a clear view of the
sun as it's setting over the ocean, casting orange rays into the blue water and painting the horizon a
myriad of oranges, purples, and blues.
They stand there for a while, watching as the sun disappears, pressed close against each other.
When the sun has disappeared into the sea, Louis puts his arm around Harrys waist, leaning
further into him, and rests his head on his shoulder. He feels Harry put an arm around his
shoulders, before pressing a kiss to the crown of his head.
Thank you, Louis says after a moment. Really. Thank you so much for this, H. Its been
brilliant.
Harry squeezes him closer and merely mutters quietly, Thank you for coming with.
Eventually Harry draws away with a small smile. Ready to drive back? We better do it before it
gets totally dark.
Hmm, Louis hums, as they take the few steps to the bike as he ponders his option. Actually,
theres something else I wanna do first.
Harry straightens from where hed been bending down to pick up their helmets, and turns to face
Louis. Oh?
Louis grin turns wicked as he moves closer to Harry, applying pressure to his chest with his
hands to get him to sit down on the bike. Yes, he confirms, as he leans into him, taking a step
even closer as Harrys thighs fall apart and make room for him in between. He's staring up at him
wordlessly, as Louis peers down on him contemplatively. The height difference isnt much to
Louis favour, but its there a little bit, and its kind of nice having to be the one to bend down for
once.
He closes the distance between them, moulding their lips together. Its pretty much muscle
memory by now, how Harry likes to be kissed, and it feels good to have reached this state. Louis
loves it when you get to the point where you dont have to overthink every little swipe of your
tongue, every movement of your lips, where it just comes naturally, and itll be exactly like the
other wants it to be. Theyve got kissing down to a science, really.
He moves his hands down Harrys chest, covered only in a tank top, and pops the button of his
denim shorts when he gets there. He tries to silently communicate to Harry that he needs the him
to lift his bum off the bike slightly to allow Louis to slide the shorts and his pants down his legs.
Harry pulls away from him instead.
Lou, he gasps, drawing back further to be able to look at Louis fully. Lou, were right by the
road, anyone could come by, oh he lets out a moan as Louis starts sucking a bruise into his
neck. Lou, Lou, Lou, Lou, he whines, hands raking down his back. Please, Lou, we cant do
this here Oh, God Lou, fuck, lets just get home, come on
Louis pulls back to look him in the eyes, cupping his jaw in his hands. Wheres your sense of
adventure, love? he asks with a wicked grin. No ones gonna come. Well, besides you, I guess.
Anyway, isnt the possibility of getting caught like, half the fun?
Harry actually outright moans at that, and lifts his hips off the bike enough to allow Louis to slide
his shorts and pants down his thighs, just enough to free his cock. Hes already fully hard, and
Louis almost feels like he should pat himself on the shoulder and give congratulations on a job
well done. There are more pressing matters at hand though, so he resolves to wait until hes at
least made Harry to come.
Louis sinks to his knees, ignoring the sharp pebbles digging into the bare skin of them, and the
general discomfort of the ground. He fists his hand around the base of Harrys cock, and moves to
take the head into his mouth. As he suckles on the head gently, Harrys hand moves to his hair,
fisting there but not pulling, more like hes trying to ground himself.
Lou, Lou, Lou, Lou, he mutters, moans, chants, already seeming desperate.
Louis only answer is to remove his mouth from the head to lick along the vein on the underside,
making his thighs tremble. He takes the head into his mouth again, sinking down lower this time
and gently scraping his teeth over the shaft, careful not to apply more than just the ghost of
pressure. Harrys hand tightens in his hair and he pants, mumbling incoherently, and Louis has to
resist the temptation to smirk, because, well, because he made Harry feel like that. Fuck. He feels
extraordinarily proud of himself, like being able to put Harry in a state like this is some sort of
astonishing feat. It kind of is. Maybe. Not many people have gotten to at any rate, its a bit of a
privilege, really. Louis is nothing if not lucky. Great sex and a boy who is very, very much his
best mate and possibly the best human being on entire planet Earth, what more could one really
ask for?
He keeps bobbing his head up and down, until he can feel that Harry's getting close in the way his
stomach muscles tighten under his thumb where his hand is cupping his hip, digging a bruise into
one of the ferns tattooed there. He pulls off entirely, making Harry whine low in his throat as he
mutters incoherent pleas of please, please, Lou, come on, please, and draws in a big breath
before sinking down again, taking Harrys length further and further into his mouth until it hits the
back of his throat and hes got his nose pressed against warm skin and coarse hair.
Harry seems to be rendered speechless, unable to communicate anything but panting, sounding so,
so hot. Sweat gathers at Louis brow as he breathes in through his nose, and
Lou, Lou, Harrys breath comes out in short gasps, and Louis has to press the hand that was
previously holding the base of Harrys cock against his own obvious erection. Im gonna Im
gonna
Louis hums in recognition, the vibrations going straight to Harrys dick, and when he swallows
around him, it seems to be the last straw for the younger man, because with a drawn out Fuck
hes coming down Louis throat.
When he pulls off, he looks up through his lashes at Harry who is staring at him with glassy eyes
and a look of wonder, and pulls his pants and shorts back up before tucking in his softening dick.
Harry slides down from the bike, sitting on his knees opposite him, one leg on each side of him.
He leans forward and catches Louis in a kiss; must be able to taste himself on Louis tongue, but
he doesnt seem to mind, kissing him like he's water in the middle of a drought. He moves his
hands from where they're cupping Louis cheeks, sliding them down over his chest until he
reaches his basketball shorts. He moves to slide his hand down them, and as much as Louis wants
that, wants that so, so much, wants Harrys hands on him right fucking now, because hes so hard
he feels like he might actually explode from it all soon, he grabs his wrist to still him.
You dont have to, he says, feeling like a right bloody martyr, a masochist, oror something.
Its just important, its so, so important to him, suddenly, that Harry knows thats not why he did
it. He voices this out loud, and Harry replies by leaning forward and planting a chaste kiss on his
lips.
I know. I want to.


They land in Heathrow after another problem free flight, having left Koh Phanang early in the
morning and being transported straight to the airport on Koh Samui where they flew to Bangkok
and then onwards to Heathrow. As they hadnt gotten much sleep the previous night, Louis spent
the majority of their flight with his head resting against Harrys shoulder, slipping in and out of
sleep. Theyd changed into warmer clothes during their two hour long layover at the airport in
Bangkok, aware that they were going to be returning to English winter, and to be honest Louis
wasnt exactly looking forward to that, having gotten used to the heat of Thailand.
Neither of them had brought a winter jacket, but luckily a car was arranged to pick them up from
the airport, so it shouldnt really be a problem. What might be a problem though, was the fact that
Simon Jones had called them just this morning to inform them that there would be a wall of
paparazzi waiting for them at the airport when they got back. Brilliant.
As soon as they step out of the airport, theyre met with camera flashes and shouts coming from all
directions, and Louis is only wearing a tank top with a hoodie over and hes really fucking cold,
and so, so not in the mood for nosy paps shouting at them, asking them who tops and whether
they've joined the mile high club, or if theyre fighting, or have broken up since theyre not
holding hands. Because clearly its an absolute must to always, one hundred percent of the time,
hold your significant others hand, yes, of course. Harry puts his hand on his shoulder, and they
ignore the paps as best they can as they walk towards the car waiting for them, quickly getting
inside it as soon as they reach it. Thankfully its nice and warm, and Louis may or may not have a
small kip as theyre driven back to their house.
By the time its evening and time to go to sleep, Louis is in no way feeling it. Hes got a sleeping
Harry next to him, the younger man having always been better at dealing with jet lag and getting
into the required daily rhythm than he is, and he also suspects that Harry didnt sleep quite as
much as him during their travels.
Out of boredom Louis pulls out his phone, having not looked at it at all for the past few hours,
ever since he briefly talked with his mum after he called just to inform her that theyd gotten safely
home. Though shed have seen the pap shots sooner rather than later anyway, so. He finds that
Harry has apparently tweeted something 30 minutes ago, which must have been when Louis was
in the bathroom brushing his teeth. He opens the tweet, curious to see if its anything related to
him or their trip.
Frowning in confusion, Louis clicks to check what the tweet Harry replied to says. He falls asleep
with a smile on his face ten minutes later.
Chapter End Notes
Thanks for reading! If you've got the time, or have anything to day, or even if you
don't, please leave a comment - it means so much!
If you need more And Then a Bit, check out the character asks, or send some of your
own if there's something you're curious about - it takes me a bit longer to answer
them now, because I'm literally revising every waking moment, but I have them in
my inbox, and I will answer them all.
It'd also mean a lot if you'd reblog the masterpost for the fic. Or just come say hi on
tumblr.
Hope to see you next Friday xxxx
IX
Chapter Notes
Well, it's Friday again, would you look at that. Time sure does fly, eh?
A massive, massive thank you to everyone who read, left kudos and commented so
far, you guys are all so sweet!
And of course thank you to Jess and Loo for looking it over and making it much
more british and also much better.
Also to Nina, because you are a-okay.
Credit for the manip in this goes to Nic THANK YOU so much for letting me use it
:)
Aaaaaaaand the chapter. Hope you enjoy! xx
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Men du tog mig til side og sagde du skal vide
Det her kommer ikke hver eneste dag
Og hvis du bare giver slip s stikker det af
Det er de ord der hnger ved mig nu
For hvis ikke os hvem skulle s ku'
(Marie Key Uden Forsvar)
CHAPTER IX:
So they only have one day to recuperate from their trip to Thailand before the day of their first
show, the beginning of their first tour in two years. That might not be all that smart, probably, but
Louis wouldnt trade it for anything, even if he is rather awful at dealing with jet lag. Besides, the
first day of tour always means that everyone is buzzing with energy, like they might actually be
breathing in adrenaline instead of air. So Louis might be fucking knackered now, but hes quite
sure that once he wakes up tomorrow morning, hell be more than ready to kick off their world
tour in style.
The bed dips next to him as Harry crawls in, sliding up behind and spooning him. He yawns into
Louis hair, places a kiss on the back of his neck, and Louis is just about to say goodnight when
he speaks.
I think I want to get a tattoo.
Louis huffs out a laugh, because Harrys saying it like it might actually be a surprise to him that he
wishes to ink himself, when really he's probably more surprised that it's taken him this long to get
something new. Oh? he says, instead of voicing those thoughts, waiting for Harry to elaborate.
Yeah I mean, yeah. Yeah. Uh, not really sure what though. Something small, I think. Just a
little one.
Hmm, Louis hums non-committally, burying his face further into the pillow, until he suddenly
remembers something hed read on twitter yesterday. Actually, he says, hesitating, Uh, I read
this tweet yesterday where, like fans were wondering why we hadnt gotten any matching tattoos
since we became public He trails off and waits for Harrys reaction, unsure how to continue.
Oh? he inquires, after a few moments of silence.
Yeah, I mean, like... we dont have to do anything about, but like. Maybe just a little thing would
be nice? Just as mates. Just something platonic, it doesnt even have to have anything to do with
each other, we just need everyone else to draw that conclusion, and
Lou, Harry cuts him off, laughing. Louis. Id like that, really. He pulls Louis against him a
little tighter and it almost hurts, but in the very best way. Solves my problem of not knowing
what to get too.
Louis nods his head, unsure if Harry can even see it in the darkness of the room, but knows he
must hear the rustling of the sheets if nothing else. One of his hands move to Harrys wrist where
its resting on Louis tummy, thumbing over the words that he last had inked into the skin there. It
lingers on the three dots that Louis is the artist behind, pressing his thumb into them with light
pressure.
Actually, Harry says, drawing out the word and speaking even more slowly than usual, I was
just thinking, like, uh. Were just talking small tattoos, right? Like, so, uh, maybe we could draw
one for each other? Like something small, just. Something us, you know?
What exactly are you trying to say? Louis asks.
Well, if you draw a little something thatll remind me of you, and Ill do the same, and then well
get them as tattoos?
Louis cant help the grin that spreads across his face. You do know I cant draw for shit, right?
Harry swats his shoulder with exaggerated exasperation. Thats not the point, Louis. Im not
asking Zayn, Im asking you, I know Im not going to get a bloody Picasso piece
Mate, have you seen Picassos paintings? Like the bloke is good, whatever, but you do not want
to get that on your body, trust me.
Harry huffs in slight annoyance, retracting the arm that has stayed on Louis shoulder. You could
just say if you think its a bad idea, I
Hey, no. Louis interrupts again, grabbing his hand in his own. No, H, I think its a brilliant
idea. As long as you dont have unrealistic expectations about my artistic abilities.
Harrys face morphs into a shy smile as he laces his fingers with Louis. Okay. Maybe
tomorrow? After the first show?
After the first show? Louis frowns. Will anything even be open?
Theyll open for us.
Theyll want to turn this into a pap excursion then, you know that, right?
They probably would have anyway. Harry shrugs, and well, hes not wrong.
Yeah That only gives us less than a day to come up with a design, though.
Hmm, Harry hums in recognition. Not up for the challenge?
Louis nearly snorts, and oh, is the game on. Just you wait, Styles, Im going to blow all your
other tattoos out of the water! He thumbs over the newest one on his wrist subconsciously,
tracing the I just want it to be you and I forever, and Harry cuddles closer, buries his head in
his chest.
I dont doubt it.


It actually proves to be quite a beneficial deal theyve made, the challenge giving Louis something
to do with all the time he has on the first day of tour. Luckily, its in London, so theres no
travelling involved, but there's still plenty of time between waking up in the morning and leaving
for soundcheck, and then going through hair, makeup, and wardrobe, until they're finally going on
stage. Plenty of time for him to come up with a tattoo design, draw it up (urgh, thats not going to
be pretty) and mentally prepare himself for inking something of Harry on himself. Knowing the
other man, its probably going to be a kitten, or something. At least thatd be fitting.
Its post soundcheck and Louis is sitting at the venue, having opted against going back home
between now and the concert, racking his brain for a design thats him. Times running out, he still
has to actually draw it as well, which is not going to be pretty, and really, Harry is just an arse for
giving him such a short time to do this.
And just something thats Louis. Something thats Louis. What does that even mean? And
something small, and platonic its not like Harry wants Louis face tattooed on his back, even if
his drawing skills were up to par. So whats Louis? Something thatll make Harry think about him
when he sees it, something that
But of course. It comes to Louis suddenly, like lightening from a clear sky, and of course. Its so
blatantly obvious that he cant believe it's taken him this long to come up with it. He scrambles up
from the sofa hes been lounging on and rummages around the room in an attempt to find a pad of
paper and pen, and sets about sketching.
Ten minutes later he has to admit that drawing a football is probably easier said than done. Hes
got multiple tries on the paper in front of him, and it all looks like misshapen, somewhat round
blobs, with a few dark spots. He really is quite shit at drawing.
Drawing up his phone, he calls the only one he can think to help him, tapping his pen on the paper
in front of him in impatience, waiting for his call to be picked up.
It takes a few more rings, then, Hullo? Its a female voice that picks up, and Louis is confused
for all of two seconds until he realises.
Hi, Pez, he says with a smile. Listen love, its been ages since we talked and we gotta do
something about that soon, like dinner or something, the four of us, but right now Im kinda tight
on time, so could you get me Zayn?
Perrie laughs, bright and happy, once Louis has rushed out his words. Sure thing, Lou. Hes just
in the next room, hang on a moment. There some rustling on her end, and he can hear her
muffled call of Zayn!, before shes back. Okay, Im handing you over to him now. Good luck
tonight, I cant wait to go see you.
He gets out a Bye, love! before its Zayns voice that meets him.
Whats up, Lou?
I need your help. He states, choosing the direct approach. I, uh, Harry and I kinda made this
deal to draw a tattoo for the other, but Im shit at drawing and I really need your help. Like now.
Before the show. He hesitates for a moment, and then tacks on for good measure, Please.
He can almost hear Zayn shake his head in fond exasperation through the phone. Alright, fine,
Lou. But Im having dinner with Pezza first. I can be there in like two hours or so, yeah? Thatll
give us a an hour before we need to get ready for the show, alright?
Louis almost breathes a sigh of relief and grins, Sounds brilliant, Z. Thanks a lot, see you soon,
say hi to Perrie again!
Zayn grumbles his consent, and Louis swears he can hear him mutter out something that sounds
like Someones under the thumb but hes going to be the bigger man and let that one slide.
Well, at any rate, this leaves Louis with two hours to kill, and no idea what to do. Hes buzzing
now that he knows what hes doing, buzzing with energy, because theyre about to start their tour,
about to perform in front of thousands of people for the first time in years. Its terrifying, and
amazing, and exciting all rolled into one.
He contemplates calling Harry to hear what the other man is doing for all of three seconds, until he
realises that this is his only opportunity to get some sleep before the show, and as much as hes
buzzing with energy, itd probably be a good idea to get in a bit of shut-eye. And hes got quite
the comfortable sofa at his disposal, so really, itd be a travesty not to take advantage. Also, hes
pretty sure that Harry himself is at home napping, so if Louis called only to wake him up thatd
really serve no purpose. No, sleeping is good. Sleeping is very good. Sleeping it is.


He wakes up with another persons lips on his own, and its probably telling that he doesnt
immediately freak out, that he can actually tell that theyre Harrys. Is that even a thing?
Recognizing another persons lips with closed eyes and a sleep muddled brain? Apparently it is
for Louis.
He kisses him back with closed eyes, not opening them until he feels the other man smile against
his lips now that he knows he's awake.
Hmm, Louis hums against his lips as he opens his eyes. Hes met with the green of Harry's, so,
so close, the colour vibrant and beautiful, and he thinks he could probably stare into them forever.
Thats a nice way to wake up.
Harrys grin grows and he leans down to peck him on the lips a final time, before pulling all the
way off. Zayn's looking for you.
Well, he smiles, running his hand down Harrys chest, Maybe Id rather spend my time with
you.
Harrys grin remains, stretching his face almost obscenely, to the point where it almost looks
painful. Hes beautiful. So little time, he starts to sing, his hand running over Louis thigh. So
much to do.
Louis lets out a laugh and stretches his body, trying to get the last traces of the heaviness of sleep
to leave his bones. I really gotta find Zayn. Tattoos to draw and all that.
Heeyyy, Harry whines, tracing the inseam of Louis jeans with his thumb. Its not distracting at
all. Its not. Thought you were gonna draw it?
Louis instinctively leans forward to kiss him again, and follows the kiss with a reassurance, I am.
Dont worry, darling.
It seems to placate Harry, and the younger man leans in to peck his lips again, before scrambling
away to allow Louis to swing his legs off the bed. Hey, he calls as Louis is about to exit. Dont
check twitter until after we get the tattoo, yeah?
Louis furrows his brow in confusion, but ends up giving a small shrug, deeming it too
inconsequential to bother thinking too much about. Whatever you say, darling. See you later?
Harry nods with a smile, having taken his place on the sofa Louis just vacated. Yeah, he says,
and then, Oh, Zayn is waiting in wardrobe, by the way. Theres dinner there too, you should
grab something to eat.
Louis nods before parting with a small wave and a smile. He makes his way to wardrobe, only a
couple of doors down from where hes been lounging, finding Zayn sitting there, having a chat
with Caroline, who theyd managed to rope into doing wardrobe for them once again. There was
something comforting, theyd agreed, about being surrounded by the crew they loved.
Hi Z, he says, as he lets himself fall onto the sofa next to Zayn, Hi Caroline.
Louis, Caroline acknowledges him with a smile, before getting up from the sofa. Ill leave you
boys to whatever it is thats youre doing.
As she walks away, silence settles over the two of them, not broken until Zayn raises an eyebrow.
So, he says, leaning back into the sofa. What exactly are we drawing?
Just a football.
Zayn snorts and shakes his head, You cant draw a football?
No. Louis scoffs, trying not to be too insulted.
Well, he says, and gestures towards the pad of paper and pen lying on the table. Alright then.
Give it a shot anyway. Show me what I have to work with.
Grabbing the pad from the table, he sets about drawing. They keep it up for the next hour, the
amount of balled up paper lying around the waste bin, where Louis has chucked it every time he
finds himself utterly unsatisfied with his attempts, has reached ridiculous proportions towards the
end, and yet Louis football is still quite shit.
Hes contemplated several times just having Zayn draw the goddamn ball, but in the end
somethings stopped him every time. To be honest, its probably the knowledge that Harry would
prefer a shitty football drawn by Louis to a perfect one drawn by Zayn, he is quite sure. Yes.
Its timed so perfectly that you'd think it was rehearsed, Louis tugckng his best attempt at the ball
into his pocket just as Harry walks into wardrobe with Niall, Liam having arrived half an hour
ago. Harry makes a beeline straight for him, squeezing in next to him on the sofa and nuzzling his
face into his neck.
Hi, he murmurs, soft and sleepy, pliant and lovely.
Hey babe, Louis breathes, turning his head to kiss his temple.
Got the tattoo drawn?
Louis hums in confirmation. Its pretty shit, so I get if you dont want it after all, but, yeah, its
done.
I want it.
Louis shakes his head in fond exasperation. You havent seen it yet, love.
Doesnt matter, Harry shakes his head, thumb moving over the rope on Louis wrist. You
made it, so I want it.
Alright. Louis says softly, as Caroline calls for them all to get dressed in their stage clothes.
They start to get dressed, pulling on skin tight jeans as Lou spills into the room, takes one look at
Harrys curls, mussed up from sleep, and hurries out of the room again. She returns a few
moments later, a bottle in her hand,and sets about spraying Harrys hair with what Louis assumes
is water. When shes got it sufficiently wet, she combs it back, because apparently thats supposed
to help. Louis hasnt got a clue.
Theres an intern snapping photos for their twitter account, supposed to document the stages
leading up to having them on stage, sort of hype it all up for the fans. He approaches Harry about
a picture as he's standing shirtless in the middle of the room, a flannel shirt in his hand with a look
of contemplation on his face, like hes not quite sure if he wants to wear it.
Harry nods at the intern, before grabbing Louis arm, pulling him to his side.
Come on, he grins, Together, yeah?
Louis smiles involuntarily and kisses his temple. Course, babe. He grabs one side of the shirt in
Harrys hand, holding it up in front of their faces. Harry catches on quickly, holding up the other
end so that its only their eyes and the top of their heads visible. Louis raises his eyebrows just in
time for the intern to snap a photo.
The rest of the time before the show passes in the blink of an eye. They get dressed, and Lou
comes into the room armed with products, swinging brushes and hair dryers, spraying hairspray
and throwing dollops of hair wax at them, until she deems that they look satisfactory. And before
they know it, Paul is approaching them, telling them that theyve got two minutes before they need
to go on stage. Two minutes. Fuck. Its been building up to this for months, and now its here. For
so long it seemed like such an abstract concept, and its almost incomprehensible that all this time
has passed so quickly, that theyre now on the brink of really, really making their comeback.
They huddle together, pressing close, and Harry is right next to him, hand resting on his shoulder,
thumb digging into the back of his neck, like hes trying to reassure Louis of his presence. And
then its him, Louis knows its him who has to take the initiative now, has to offer some kind of
encouragement, some kind of reassurance, because he has always been kind of like the unspoken
leader of the band, and even now when theyre standing here together, mid-twenties and seasoned
performers, four other pairs of eyes turn to him, waiting for his words.
Weve done this a million times, is what he says after a moment, because theyll get a routine
going, a small chant or whatever as the tour progresses, but right now is the first show, the first
show in forever, and all that needs to be said is that its going to be fine. Its going to be just fine.
We know how to do this, and were gonna smash this concert, yeah, lads? Were going to
fucking smash it! Theres a general murmur of consent, and then Niall lets out a whoop and a
HELL YES! and its like all the tension is released from them, replaced with pure adrenalin
streaming through their veins. Performing is the biggest high there is.
It somehow ends up in a mass cuddle, Louis reaching out and grasping the limb closest to him,
holding on tightly and squeezing.
Alright, alright, break it up lads, comes Pauls voice a moment later. We need you to get into
position now, youre going on stage in less than a minute.
Louis nods his head in acknowledgement and draws away from the others. Hes about to move
towards the place where theyll be entering the stage, when he feels a hand clasping his upper arm
and spinning him around. He barely has time to register that its Harry, before he's pulled him
towards him and pressed their lips together, cradling Louis face in his hands. The kiss is hard and
over with quickly, Harry pulling back while panting slightly, looking into his eyes with this fierce
expression Louis doesnt know how to place.
Good luck out there, yeah? Harry finally says, taking a step back, and Louis can only look at
him dumbfounded for several moments, until Paul is calling out 20 seconds! from behind them.
You too, Louis says quietly, running his thumb over Harrys wrist quickly, before turning
around and preparing himself for whats to come.
Ten seconds, Pauls voice calls again, and Louis heart is thudding loudly in his ear. Eight,
seven, six, the band starts playing the intro cords to Never Changed, an obvious choice for their
opening number, as it was fast and upbeat and fun, and a perfect way to cement their entire
journey. Five, four, they can hear the screaming from the fans, knows that right now theyre
seeing a montage of clips from over the years, intermixed with the boys as they are now, seeing
Harry and Louis cuddled up together in bed as Zayn burst in to drag them with him (Louis might
imagine it, but hes pretty sure they scream just a little bit louder at the part where Harry gets out
of bed in all his shirtless glory), and finally they all gather in whats supposed to symbolise them
being backstage. Three, two, one!
At Pauls final count, they set off.

Running onto stage is the most amazing feeling and Louis realises then that even though he
thought he was prepared, even though he thought he remembered how it felt to be on stage, no
amount of preparation could ever have made him ready for the feeling that spreads through him
once they spill onto the stage. The crowd is screaming and screaming as they emerge, Liam first,
then Zayn, then Niall, and at last Harry and Louis. Louis might be imagining it, but it feels like
they scream even louder for the two of them.
The biggest grin overtakes his face, and he honestly has no control over it whatsoever. He
wouldnt be able to stop smiling even if he wanted to. He catches Harrys eyes, and sees his own
grin mirrored on his face, eyes sparkling with excitement.
And its the most fun hes had in ages, it really, really is. Its the most fun hes ever had in a
concert, probably. Theres something about the freedom of not having to censor everything you
do, and even if he has to play up his affections for Harry, it doesnt feel like he has to. It all comes
naturally, so theres nothing forced about it, nothing over thought or strained. Its just exactly how
every concert since they started should have been.
So he goes all out, grabbing Harrys hand when they power down the catwalk during their duet in
Little Black Dress, grinning like a loon when Harry pops his hip and does this little shimmy during
the I wanna see the way you move for me baby line, staring at him unabashedly all the way
through Strong, and finally doing exactly what theyve choreographed at the end of Something
Great.
The audience goes absolutely nuts when he sits down at the piano, and Harry introduces the song,
saying something about how its okay to wish for bigger and better things, because sometimes you
might just get it, finished with a none too subtle look at Louis. Louis smiles back at him, as he lets
his fingers glide over the keys, and Liam begins to sing. Hes more relieved than he should be
when he gets to the end of the song without messing up any notes. When Harry has sung the last
is it too much to ask for something great? Louis removes his hands from the piano keys, going to
do as they agreed during the rehearsing and sing completely a capella. And then the strangest
thing happens when he opens his mouth to sing, like theyve just snapped their fingers and arrived
in Japan or something, silence falls over the entire arena or as much silence as thousands upon
thousands of people gathered in the same place can be and its like everyone is collectively
holding their breath as he sings, eyes locked with Harrys.
Youre all I want, so much its hurting. And just as the last word has dropped from his lips,
Harrys there on his knees in front of Louis, as he grabs his face and locks their lips together.
The effect is instantaneous. The moment Louis stops singing and Harrys lips are on his, the arena
goes crazy. Hes never experienced anything like it, and his mouth warps into a massive grin,
laughing into Harrys mouth, as the younger man wraps his arms around Louis and squeezes tight.
He feels loved. Just so, so loved. By every single person in this room, and by the boys, and its
amazing. He feels accepted, knows that these people who actually chose to spend money on a
ticket to see them accept him, knows that they all knew about him and Harry when they pushed
the purchase button, knows that they came to see them, came to see them together. Its mind
boggling.
It continues on, the concert, working its way seamlessly through the set, going from upbeat pop-y
songs, to soulful ballads, to rocky anthems. They do old classics mixed with most of the songs
from their new album, and people love it all from Louis on the piano during Little Things, to
Harrys uncensored enthusiasm during Happily (and any every song, really). And if Harry maybe
sings Lou and I well, its not like any one is going to tell him off for it.
During twitter questions, which theyd decided to keep, they get asked what their current favourite
film is, and Louis answers Grease, because, well... because its the truth and its been his default
answer since he was eighteen. Harry laughs and starts singing Youre the One That I Want, and
next thing Louis knows hes walking Harry backwards and singing along with the rest of the lads.
The crowd goes wild and Louis is so, so fucking happy he feels like he could right up float away.
Towards the end of the show, when theres only a few songs left, Louis finds himself crooning
out his verse of one of the songs Harry wrote for the album, So Far Away. He sees Harry on the
opposite side of the stage, his back turned to Louis, and he feels a pang of something foreign. A
sort of longing, which is so, so ridiculous because Harry is right there.
How dont you know,
How I feel about you,
Its so hard to understand,
When its all that I am.
How cant you see,
That youre everything to me,
It tears me apart,
Youre right here and yet so far away.
Harry turns around and looks up, just as Louis sings the last word, finding Louis already watching
him. And then, with a kind of funny smile, Harry raises his hand, holding one thumb up in their
age old signal. Louis breathes out heavily, and returns the sentiment.



The high Louis is feeling when they tumble off the stage, having performed Dont Forget Where
You Belong as their last song, is fucking out of this world. Like nothing hes ever experienced
before, not even when they were performing bloody stadiums. His entire body is sizzling with
energy, his limbs restless and still bouncing, even when he gets into a car with Harry after theyve
celebrated a successful first show with the other boys and the crew.
His leg is bouncing up and down as the car engine roars into life, trying to somehow give all the
extra energy an outlet. Harrys hand comes to rest on his knee, tracing soft shapes into his inner
thigh, and yeah, thats not really helping.
Hey, he says, leaning into Louis and nuzzling his scruffy jaw with his nose. Whats the
matter?
Louis shakes his head in denial. No matter. Just. Like, adrenaline, I guess? Just kinda keyed up.
He feels Harry nod against his neck before the younger man starts tracing kisses along the
underside of his jaw. Me too, he says, and punctures his sentence with a gentle bite to Louis
neck. Somehow Harry seems the very, very opposite of keyed up, and if he doesnt stop his
ministrations just about now, Louis will have to walk into the tattoo joint in front of the paps
gathered, with the most obvious boner.
Harry extracts his head, like he knows what Louis thinking, after giving him a last gentle kiss on
his neck. Well put all that extra energy to good use when we get home, yeah? Tattoos are small,
shouldnt take too long.
Louis nods and subconsciously traces the piece of paper bearing whats soon to be Harrys tattoo
in his pocket. Yeah, sounds like a plan, babe.
Should we, like, reveal it now, do you think? What weve drawn?
Louis shrugs, heart suddenly beating a mile a minute, because fuck, what if Harry hates it? Shit
shit shit. He tries to keep his demeanour calm, his voice steady when he replies. Might as well.
Give you a few minutes to have a good cry when you see how horrid I really am at drawing.
Lou, Harry says, smiling, thankfully having taken Louis statement in jest instead of the insult to
himself it really is. Who says Im the one who will be crying? I cant really draw anything but
stick figures, remember?
Louis shrugs with a grin, Already got one of those, whats another one, eh?
Harry nudges him with his shoulder, laughing. Alright, alright. You wanna show me, or should I
go first?
Lets do it at the same time, yeah?
Okay, he agrees easily, producing a piece of paper from his pocket at the same time as Louis
pulls out his. They look at each other for a moment, both of them clutching their respective
drawings protectively. Okay, Harry repeats, On three?
Louis takes a deep breath, so ridiculously nervous about this, and nods. One, he says, his grip
on the paper loosening slightly, Two, and its not really ridiculous, though, is it? Like, whatever
Harry is about to hand him, Louis is going to have that tattooed on his body forever, and
Three.
They hold out the paper for the other to see at the same time, and Louis takes Harrys at the same
time as he loosens his grip on his own. They catch each others eyes for a brief moment, before
looking down at the paper theyre now holding. Louis takes in a deep breath, before unfolding it.
It takes him three seconds to process and then he breaks into a fit of giggles, laughter spilling from
his mouth without his permission.
Its a banana.
He looks up at Harry after a moment, when he realises that the other man hasnt said a word since
the reveal. Hes met with a view of the top of Harrys head as hes looking down, shielding his
expression from Louis.
Harry? he asks quietly, carefully. Is is it really that bad? Im sorry, god, Im so, so sorry. I
tried to warn you, I did, I told you Im shit at drawing, Im sorry. We can call this off its okay, its
fine, we can work something else out, it doesnt have to be
Louis, Harry interrupts him, sounding strangled. No, no, no, Louis. II just its just that
its just that, like. Louis.
And Louis doesnt understand shit, like what is Harry even trying to say? Is that like wow I love
it speechless, or like wow this is the worst kind of shit Ive ever seen I hate it so much
speechless?
Louis. Harry says again, quieter now. Baby, I love it. I do. So, so much. Im just. I didnt.
Fuck. Like, I just didnt expect to see so much of you in this. But it is. Its you, right? And I love
it.
Something warm spreads through Louis chest, and he crooks an eyebrow at Harry. Im a badly
drawn football? Is that like a jab at my footy skills? Or my overall appearance?
Harry lets out a startled laugh, Louis favourite kind of laugh, the one that sort of erupts without
his permission loud and unabashed so uncontrollable that Harry nearly always throws up a
hand in an attempt to contain it. Louis feels so inexplicably proud when he manages to produce
that laugh.
No, Harry grins, once hes gotten his laughter under control. No. Not at all. Its perfect. Youre
perfect. Its a football and kind of messy but really great, and its great ,and its you, and I love it!
Hes slightly winded by the time hes gotten all the words out, talking much faster than Louis has
probably ever heard him.
The car stops just as Louis is about to answer, and they exchange a look briefly before Harry lets
out a loud exhale and opens the door. The second the door is opened theyre met by a sea of
blinding flashes and the air fills with the sound of screaming girls. Louis gets out after Harry,
shutting the car door behind him, and grabs his hand. They should maybe, probably have brought
along a bodyguard for this. Maybe, probably, definitely.
They do manage to get to the entrance of the shop without incident, Harry stumbling slightly as
they enter, and Louis unconsciously reaches out to steady him with the hand thats not already
holding his. Harry thanks him with a smile and a kiss on his temple. Its fine.
Theyre gonna do Harry first, its quickly decided, so while Harry and the artist get ready, Louis
decides to thumb through twitter. He goes to check their official twitter account first, curious to see
how the photo taken of them had turned out.
The amount of retweets and favourites leave him slightly floored, the reception of him and Harry
having been so, so crazy. Beyond what hed ever have expected, cant fucking believe its
actually working. He shakes his head and goes to check on Harrys profile, wanting to see what
he was so adamant about Louis not seeing until now.
And. Oh. Just oh.
Like, thats really quite brilliant when you think about it. Not only have they coincidentally chosen
the two things they have each other listed as on their phones, which already clues everybody in to
the fact that the tattoos are for each other, but now Harry has also inadvertently confirmed that
theyve drawn them for each other. No way people arent going to connect the messy football to
Louis now.
Youre a right sneaky one, huh? He grins at Harry, laughter in his voice as he runs his hand
through Harrys hair.
Hmm? Is Harrys reply, coming out dazedly.
The tweet, the picture. Louis elaborates. Very clever.
Harry grins at him lazily. I am a very clever person.
Louis hums in reply, before sitting down next to where Harrys perched, lying on his back, letting
his phone drop into his lap. Where are you getting it? Louis asks, running his hand down
Harrys chest to settle on his lower stomach, just resting there.
Harry raises his left arm over his head, revealing the inside of his upper arm. Here, he says,
thumbing over his wont stop till we surrender tattoo that has faded to all but nothing. Louis
hand moves at its own volition, brushing over the soft skin. It seems almost surreal that Harry will
soon have something Louis has drawn on his own body, but thats also kind of stupid, because he
already has the first words Louis ever said in Louis handwriting, and that really ought to be the
same its just not, though. Its really not.


Harry was right, the tattoos are small and quickly over with. It barely takes a quarter of an hour
before the tattoo artist is done with Harry, and once hes got it bandaged, the two of them switch
places. Its quick work getting Louis done too, the banana soon resting amongst Louis collection
of small doodles on his lower arm. It seems like theyve barely made it inside the store when
theyre thanking the artist, shaking his hand with smiles on their faces, before braving the mass of
people outside the parlour.
They manage to get into the car without too much effort, thankful to have a driver waiting for
them. And as he settles into Harrys side, Louis starts to feel the undercurrent of excess energy that
had seemed to somewhat hibernate during their tattoo session. Its back full force now, like it
wants to remind Louis that he just performed in front of thousands, and that tattooing is definitely
not an adequate outlet for the kind of adrenaline that would generate.
Still up for spending that energy when we get home? Harry questions, his broad hand moving
down Louis thigh, which is bouncing restlessly once again.
God, yeah, Louis breathes, unable to find a single thing hed rather do, or think of a single way
that would be more effective at tiring him out than shagging Harry.
Hmm, Harry hums, tracing the inseam of Louis jeans with his hand, while nosing along his
cheek. I want you to fuck me. He breathes hotly against Louis ear, voice hoarse, but otherwise
completely normal, like its an everyday occurrence to talk about what kind of dirty things hed
like Louis to do to him. I want you to take control, use me exactly like you want to. I want you to
hold me down and pound into me with that perfect cock of yours. Its so gorgeous, Louis, love.
So pretty, so lovely. Thick and perfect. And you know exactly how to use it, dont you? Know
exactly how to play me, make me feel so fucking good, always make me come so hard I cant see
straight. Best sex of my life with you, youre the fucking best. So beautiful, and kind, and lovely,
and so fucking hot. All that energy, yeah? All that energy thats making you all jittery, I want you
to use that on me, I
Louis grabs his chin roughly, shutting Harry up by pushing their lips together. Hes so hard in his
pants from his words, truth is he could probably have come in his pants right then and there if he
didnt get Harry to shut up. Thatd be all sorts of embarrassing so, yeah, best avoided, that.
He pushes his tongue into Harrys mouth, and theres no refined technique or gentle swipes in
this, it all primal need, teeth clattering and rough bites. The only thing restricting him from
climbing into Harrys lap is the seatbelt, and in all honesty safety isnt exactly his top priority right
now, hed totally undo it if it wasnt because a Diana type accident with two pop stars who were
too horny to stay seated would be all sorts of scandalous. Also hed prefer not to die. Hed really,
really prefer for Harry not to die.
He moves his hand to cover Harrys crotch, giving it a firm squeeze that has the younger man
bucking up into his touch. Hes already at least as hard as Louis and theres a sort of comfort in
knowing that at least hes not the only one whos so, so affected by the other.
Excited are we? He murmurs into Harrys mouth, voice low and raspy and so affected already,
even when hes had nothing but Harrys voice and a kiss or two. His hand is still covering Harrys
clothed dick, and he can feel it when it gives a twitch in response to his words.
Fuck, Harry gets out, it seeming to be an actual struggle to form words. Mate, Ive been
sporting a semi ever since the tattoo parlour.
Hmm, Louis hums, moving his mouth to Harrys neck, nibbling along the soft skin there as he
continues to talk. Like it to hurt do you?
Harry lets out a strangled moan, hand moving to clutch Louis bicep tightly. Lou
Do you like it when I leave marks on you? Louis continues nonchalantly, sucking a bruise into
Harrys neck. Like it when everyone can see that youre taken? That youre mine? He takes a
hold of both of Harrys wrists and pins them to the car seat, pulling back slightly to look into
Harrys eyes. Do you like it when I hold you down? He cocks his head to the side, watching
Harry curiously as he looks back at him with hooded eyes, bottom lip red and swollen from where
hes been biting it to keep his noises down. Its quite the change of whos in charge, and Louis
definitely likes it. Do you like it when I hold you to the mattress so you cant move, when you
just have to take it as I rock into you?
God, Harry gets out, breathing heavy. God, yes. Please, Louis Please.
He places his lips on Harrys gently, a sweet peck. Please what, love? He asks softly, as he
releases his wrists and twines their fingers together.
I want it. Harry pants, clutching his hands tightly. Want it so bad. Want it all. Want you. Want
you so much.
Want me to take care of you? He asks softly, kissing along Harrys jaw. Want me to make you
feel good, baby?
Yes, Harrys voice sounds ruined, and it goes straight to Louis cock. Please.
Im going to make you feel so good, darling. Louis promises. Im going to take such good care
of you.
You do, Lou. Harry says, bringing one of their clasped hands to his lips and kissing Louis
knuckles. You always do.

The spend the rest of the car ride kissing, and its such a conundrum how they can go from hot
and heavy and dirty, to sweet and caring in two seconds flat, and maybe it seems like a cop out,
but everything with Harry is literally so amazing. The versatility is mind blowing, how they can
go from whispering filthily in each others ears to kissing sweetly, and everything is as all
consuming and amazing as the next. Louis has never had that before, has never imagined he might
get it. He doesnt know how hes supposed to let it go.


Theyve somehow made it to their house and into the bedroom, stripped down to their pants and
are currently rutting against each other, Harry on top of him, covering the entirety of Louis body
with his own.
Theres something so safe and comforting about having Harrys body covering his, something that
makes Louis feel protected and taken care of, and its lovely, its brilliant, but its not what he
needs right now. Right now he needs to be the one to take control, the one to take care of Harry.
Thats what he promised him after all.
He pushes at Harrys chest, flipping them over so that hes the one on top, straddling his hips.
Harry goes easily.
Hi, Louis says with a small smile, moving back a bit so that hes seated on his thighs. He takes a
moment to contemplate what to do, how he wants him, and it makes him almost delirious with
power, the amount of possibilities he has with Harrys body, the fact that hes the one who gets to
decide, the knowledge that Harry will do exactly as Louis asks of him.
Its a lot.
Oops. Harry grins at him cheekily, hands moving to rub over Louis bare thighs.
Louis cant keep his snort of amusement back as he shakes his head in mock embarrassment.
Youre awful. He informs him, but all he receives in return is the widening of Harrys smile.
He climbs off him entirely, ignoring the hey! he lets out in protest, and moves towards the
nightstand where they keep their lube and condoms. Turn around, he absentmindedly instructs
him whilst hes still got his back to him, trusting and knowing that Harry will do as he says. He
grabs the half empty bottle of lube and a condom from the drawer, and turns back to the bed. Hes
met with the sight of Harry lying on his stomach as Louis instructed, his head turned towards him,
watching Louis with badly concealed lust.
Come on, babe. Harry says after a moment of silence, reaching his hand out for him. Fondness
for the boy in his bed in their bed blooms in his chest, and he wouldnt be able to keep back
the smile that takes over his face even if he wanted to.
He nods quickly, shedding his pants with one hand, ignoring the way his hard cock slaps against
his stomach as its freed, begging to be touched, in favour of crawling onto the bed and placing
the lube and condom next to Harrys shoulders. He straddles his thighs again and hooks his
fingers in the elastic of Harrys pants, pulling them over his pert little bum. He raises his hips off
the mattress, allowing Louis to pull them all the way off, and Louis drops them off the side of the
bed, returning his attention to the now naked Harry.
He crawls up Harrys body, until hes covering it with his own, his dick nestled in between his
cheeks, and hes really gotta do something about that soon, but first things first
This okay? he asks, lips pressed against Harrys ear, before he kisses down his cheek to the
corner of his mouth.
God, yes. Harry nods eagerly, turning his head slightly to catch Louis lips in a proper kiss,
awkward angle aside. Just get a move on, yeah? Please.
So bossy. Louis teases, before kissing Harry one last time and moving back. He picks up the
condom, pulling it from the package and rolling it onto his dick. He feels settled now, not as
desperate and on edge as right after the show or the tattoo, like theres a certain calm in knowing
whats about to happen.
He coats his dick in lube, making sure to use plenty of it, and positions himself at Harrys opening.
Theyve been worked up for what feels like fucking ages now, it doesnt feel like theres any time
for foreplay now theyve made it to the bed, feels like these past few hours have been foreplay.
He pushes the head of his dick into Harrys heat, and its tighter than when hes taken his time to
open up Harry with his fingers, but not impossibly so. The human body can manage extraordinary
things, Louis thinks, and with Harrys body being relaxed it allows Louis to press further in before
pulling out slightly again and sliding in further with the next push. He continues like this for a few
moments, until hes buried all the way inside Harry, and he plasters his body against the younger
man, covering as much of him as he can while theyre still connected.
This what you wanted? Louis breathes into his ear, hands covering his fists and pressing them
into the mattress.
Yes, Harry hisses, squeezing around his dick and trying to get him to move. God, this feels so
good, Lou. Youve no idea. Lo
Louis grunts and cuts off Harrys sentence as he pulls out of him almost all the way before
pushing into him again. Harry keens and turns his head into the pillow, hands turning around to
clasp Louis in an angle that must surely be awkward for his wrists, but Louis' not about to
complain about the contact. Harry is rutting against the sheets in tiny movements, completely
uncoordinated with Louis thrusts, but it doesnt really matter, the sole objective for him right now
is to get Harry off, to please him.
He shifts his angle a bit, trying to nail Harrys prostate, and he knows the second he gets it right,
because it sends a shudder through Harrys entire body. Both of them are beyond words, Harry
panting and letting out these tiny moans that just do something to Louis, while Louis finds himself
grunting and moaning like a bloody caveman.
He keeps up the angle that means hes hitting Harrys prostate with every thrust, and its not long
before he knows that the other man is close, can feel it in the way his movements take on a more
desperate edge, lose every touch of coordination, become something so primal and based on pure
need that Harry probably wouldnt be able to control it even if Louis asked him to.
Louis focusses all his energy on pleasing Harry, and clutching his hands tighter, he pushes them
into the mattress and doubles his speed. He slams into him quickly and efficiently, making sure to
hit his prostate every time. He turns his head to mouth at the place where Harrys neck meets his
shoulders, sucking a bruise and nibbling with his teeth. A thrust gets him slightly overbalanced,
and his teeth sink deeper into Harrys skin than intended. He definitely doesnt seem to mind
though as he lets out a deep, guttural moan, tightens around Louis, and comes.
Louis pulls out of him carefully as Harry rides out the last of his orgasm. Lou, He rasps,
seeming to have realised that Louis still hasnt come. He tries to turn around, presumably to do
something about that, but Louis places a now freed hand on Harrys back, pressing him down into
the bed again.
Wanna try something, He gets out, pulling the condom off his throbbing cock which is
positively begging him to get a move on, just do something, and grabs the lube once again.
Anything. Harry says, voice entirely sincere, like he really would let Louis do anything to him.
He probably would.
Louis runs a reassuring hand down his back anyway. Tell me if you want me to stop. He says it
because he needs Harry to know that he can, and because he means it, of course, but he knows as
the words leave his mouth that Harry wont say anything. In the grander scheme of things theyve
done things much kinkier anyway.
He squeezes a generous amount of lube into his hand, and coats his now bare cock thoroughly,
before running a lube sticky hand down the inside of Harrys soft thigh. He looks up and meets
Harrys eyes, the younger mans head turned sideways, resting on the bed in order to see what
Louis is doing.
Squeeze tight, yeah, love? Louis says softly, his dick heavy and hard in his hand, flushed purple
at the head from how long hes been staving off his orgasm.
Louis can actually see the moment Harry realises Louis intentions, and his eyes widen almost
comically as he wordlessly clamps his legs together, hooking his ankles over each other in order to
squeeze his thighs together as hard as possible.
Louis smears the remaining lube in his hand over Harrys thighs, before positioning himself above
them and guiding the head of his cock to the non-existent gap between them.
Its a tight squeeze, but the sensation is different from what hes used to when fucking Harry. Its
softer somehow and colder as well, though he expects that will change once he picks up a proper
rhythm, the friction generating heat. Hes holding himself up by his arms, starting to feel a slight
strain in his biceps as he builds up a rhythm, head thrown back and eyes closed, just trying to let
the sensation overtake him, get lost in it, let it submerge him completely. There's so much in their
lives that is controlled, so much they havent really got any influence on, and its frustrating, but
here with Harry, when its just the two of them and all consuming pleasure, its like every problem
no matter how big and important or small and insignificant just fades away.
If he could live in a moment, if he could live in another person, if he could just fold into a teeny
tiny being and crawl into Harry and live there forever, hed quite like to do that,.
Hes so close to his orgasm already, knows that he wont make it much longer, and it just feels so
good. Harry feels so good. His thighs are to die for, and hes breathing out these tiny moans that
go straight to Louis dick, like he might actually be enjoying this too.
He lift his hips from the bed slightly, changing the angle for Louis so that hes suddenly brushing
his dick between the cheeks of Harrys arse, and when he presses in again hes met with Harrys
thumb, the younger man having placed his hand underneath himself as best he can despite the
slightly awkward position. He thumbs over the slit of Louis cock, and thats literally all it takes
for Louis to come.
Theres no warning. He feels like its been building for so long, drawing taut in the pit of his
stomach, like a volcano on the brink of erupting, and when it finally does its with a force that
could eliminate a minor village. He whites out, collapsing heavily on top of Harrys back as his
cock shoots out between Harrys thighs, all over his hand.
Harry parts his thighs as soon as Louis heavy body has taken up residence on top of him, pulling
out the come covered hand from underneath him.
It takes Louis several moments more to regain his bodily functions enough to actually even
consider moving away from Harry, and even then hes not sure he can be bothered.
Not sure I can move, he says honestly, kissing Harrys bare shoulder.
Youre gonna have to eventually. Harry whispers, like its a secret no one else can know. Im
quite literally covered in come. I gotta go shower.
Urgh, Louis says, rolling off him to lie next to him on the bed. You know what I want? I could
really go for a cookie right now. Like a warm one, freshly baked, and then sleep. Id like that,
youd like a shower. We cant all get what we want, Styles.
His eyes are closed, and he startles them open when he feels something cold and sticky on his bare
abdomen. Its Harry, the little shit that he is, tracing patterns on Louis skin with his come sticky
hand. You should shower too, he says, and clearly takes note of Louis face that is none too fond
of that idea. No, he laughs, scooting closer. No. Hear me out, come on. You should come take
a shower with me, get us cleaned up, and then well bake cookies and go to bed.
Louis turns his head sideways to take in the younger man, eyebrow raised. Thats ridiculous,
Harold. Its like one oclock in morning.
Harry doesn't seem deterred though. Come on, Lou, he grins, Just a quick shower and then
cookies. Freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, and we can pop that champagne we have in the
fridge, doesnt that sound brilliant? We just played our first gig, we should celebrate, yeah? He
pauses for a second, face turning soft before continuing, Besides, when else are we going to bake
cookies in the middle of the night, if not in our twenties? Were pop stars, Lou. Young hot pop
stars dont go to bed at one. Young hot pop stars bake cookies in the middle of the night. Wheres
your sense of adventure? Come be a rebel with me!
Louis caves. Of course he does, how could he not? Hed quite like to meet the person who is able
to say no to Harry Styles. Fiiiiine, he says, dragging it out like a petulant child, though he
knows that both he and Harry know that hes not really upset at all. Quite the opposite, actually.
Baking bloody cookies in the middle of the night, just because hes craving them, is the kind of
spontaneity that he loves (also the kind of spontaneity he could never have fulfilled without Harry
because, much as he has tried in his years living alone, Louis does not possess the ability to bake
anything without burning it).
Come on, you child, Harry laughs as he hauls himself out of bed, holding out his hand for Louis
to do the same. Louis grabs it and lets himself be pulled to his feet, stretching once hes vertical
again.
Theyre both naked and its still not awkward, not even now when theyre away from the sexual
situation. Hes just so comfortable with Harry, so comfortable with him in every aspect of his life.
He fits so seamlessly into everything, like they were made to slot together, and Louis has avoided
thinking about these things, has tried to run screaming in the other direction every single time his
mind has moved towards giving their arrangement more thought, towards giving everything thats
been happening with Harry more thought.
Hes scared what hes going to find once he examines everything thoroughly, once he actually just
allows his mind to think, unfiltered. So, so scared.
They have an arrangement. They have an agreement. Casual. It works, it does.
Louis shakes his head. Theres a time and a place for everything, and much as hes tried to ignore
it, there will be a time and a place for these thoughts as well. At some point.
But its not here, and its not now.

They shower together fairly quickly, and its intimate, and familiar, and nice. As soon as theyve
towelled off, Louis puts on a pair of pants and goes back into their bedroom.
If I change the sheets on the bed, will you start on the cookies? He asks with a smile, still
perfectly aware of how absolutely silly it is of them to be doing this in the middle of the night. Still
loving it so, so much though. He turns towards the bed and start stripping it of its soiled sheets as
he hears Harry agree.
He kind of hates making the bed, but theyve gotten down quite a nice routine of helping each
other keep the house habitable. Harrys mostly doing the cooking, because he likes it and because
hes much better at it than Louis, and Louis is the master of the dishwasher. They usually make a
game of cleaning the rest of the house, turning up the music to levels that would probably annoy
the neighbours something dreadful if not for the fact that Louis grounds are big enough for them
to be quite far away from their house, and then just dancing around the house swinging the hoover
or a duster. Its nice. Its almost fun, or as much fun as cleaning could ever be. Louis hasnt even
considered getting a cleaner since Harry moved in, even though they could certainly afford one.
Its nice that their house it just theirs, that the ones who get to come inside their little haven are
only the ones they invite in.
When hes finished, he makes his way to the kitchen and is met with the sight of Harrys bare arse
as he has his back to him, mixing the ingredients in the bowl.
Thats highly unsanitary, dont you think? is his way of greeting Harry, leaning his body against
the refrigerator.
Harry turns around to face him, mixing bowl cradled in his arms. Dunno if it makes much
difference, pal. Youve already had your mouth all over me.
Louis cocks his head to the side, grin widening. Touch.
Besides, Harry continues, Havent you heard that cookies baked naked are better than cookies
baked clothed?
Thats complete bullshit, mate. Louis snorts, moving towards him and hauling himself on top of
the counter next to him. Hes starting to feel the fatigue set in, but its in a nice slow way, where
everything seems to be moving just a little bit in slow motion, where every second seems to last
just a little bit longer, where its like the world has been covered in a soft blanket and everything is
just lovely.
Nuh-uh. Harry shakes his head, grinning as he starts scooping out the cookie dough onto the
oven tray. Scientifically proven and everything, love. Just like the fact that these would probably
be better if we left the batter in the fridge for a couple of days.
Louis shakes his head. Nobody got time for that.
Nobody got time for that. Harry agrees with a grin. Hence the naked baking. We gotta be sure
theyre quality somehow.
Thats utter crap, you just want an excuse to be naked.
Dont really need an excuse with you, do I? Its cheeky, and so Harry, and Louis just shakes his
head in fond exasperation, as Harry puts the cookies in the oven.

They pop the bottle of champagne they have in the fridge as they wait for the cookies to bake,
talking over the concert they performed earlier with excitement. If its any indication of how the
rest of their shows will be, Louis thinks, as he takes a sip of the bubbles straight from the bottle,
this tour is going to be above and beyond what theyve done so far. Its going to top all their
previous tours put together, really.
As soon as Harry takes the cookies out of the oven, Louis is off the counter ready to inhale them
all, but Harry grabs him around the waist and holds him back.
Theyre too hot, Lou, he laughs, spinning Louis around to face him. Youre going to burn
yourself.
Louis pouts and whines softly, Haaaazzz, come on He tries to pry himself free of Harrys
embrace but its futile.
Nope, he shakes his head. Gotta let them cool a bit first. Louis tries to make it past him again,
but Harry just presses him against the counter, bodies plastered against each other so that Louis
can feel Harrys naked, soft dick against his own clothed one. Harry leans in and catches his
mouth in a soft kiss meant to distract him, Louis is sure, and, well, hed be a terrible liar if he said
it didnt work.
How long they spend kissing against the kitchen counter, Louis has no clue, but it feels
simultaneously like several millennia and only a few seconds. After whats either two hours or
two seconds, or maybe, in reality, more like ten minutes, Harry pulls back, smiling softly down at
him, and Louis cant help but run his thumb over his bottom lip, causing the younger mans smile
to widen.
How about I stick a couple on a plate? Harry murmurs quietly against Louis thumb. And then
we eat them in bed?
Louis hums happily in response, removing his thumb. Sounds like a very good idea, he smiles.
The whole kitchen smells deliciously sweet, and if they taste even half as good as they smell,
Louis isnt sure he wants to eat anything else ever again.
They make their way to their bedroom as soon as Harry has put a couple of cookies on a plate and
placed the rest in a tin. As soon as theyre under the covers and Harry has placed the plate in his
lap, Louis reaches over to take one. Its still warm and chewy, the chocolate still melted, and its
so good it puts an instant smile to his face. Its two oclock in the morning, and hes eating freshly
baked cookies in bed with Harry. He doesnt think it gets much better than this, really.
As soon as theyve finished, they settle into bed, too lazy to get up to brush their teeth. Its plenty
gross, and theyll definitely regret it come morning, but right now theyre finally too tired to care,
having reached the point where not even sugar is going to keep them going anymore. As high as
the rush of adrenaline is, as low is the fall afterwards.
Louis wraps his body around Harrys, and presses his nose against his naked skin. He breathes in
the faint smell of apples from Harrys shower gel, and a thought crosses his mind; what if this is
still how it is in five, seven, twelve, twenty years from now?
And, fuck. Thats ridiculous. Stupid. This is hardly meant to last beyond the tour, much less two
decades, and Louis really should lay off the champagne and the sugar. Definitely lay off the sugar
right before bed. It does funny things to his head, yes.
(As he goes to sleep, he tries not to think of how much he wants this to be how it is twenty years
from now.)
He dreams of Harry and him, and a tiny little baby with soft chocolate curls and blue eyes. He
only remembers bits and pieces when he wakes up.


His phone goes off on an early morning a bit more than a week and several shows later, as theyre
having a quiet breakfast in their hotel room in Manchester, the radio playing the breakfast show in
the background as Harry butters his toast opposite him.
He picks up with a quick Hello, before taking a sip of his tea, waiting for the caller to respond.
Hello, Mr. Tomlinson, this is Amanda Carter, Mr. Griffiths personal assistant. Im calling to
inform you that the presence of you and Mr. Styles has been requested in a meeting with Mr.
Griffiths, Mr. Magee ,and Mr. Jones today. Theyll meet with you at the venue at four oclock.
Oh. Thats oh.
Louis barely has time to get out his confirmation, before the phone is hung up on the other end.
Chapter End Notes
Sooo.... I'd probably call this the beginning of the end.
And now...... bad news(ish). I do have the next chapter written, but it's the only one,
and since I'm not going to be able to write for the next week or so, as I'm getting
nearer and nearer my last oral exam, I'm not going to update next Friday. I could, but
then you'd have to wait at least a week between X and XI, and trust me you'd rather
wait between this and the next! Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry (you'll thank me in the end).
I'll have summer break come Monday the 16th, so, besides my concert with the boys,
I'll have all the time in the world to write after I've (hopefully) passed theatre history.
HOWEVER in order not to leave you totally without anything next Friday, I'll do
everything I can to get all the character asks I've got in my inbox (there are quite a
few) answered and post them on my tumblr then, so send me some if there's
something you want to know. To read the ones already answered, check here.
It'd also mean a lot if you'd reblog the masterpost for the fic. Or just come say hi on
tumblr.
See you here in two weeks xx
X
Chapter Notes
So, yeah. Chapter ten, here it is. It's uhhh... I hope you enjoy? Ish. Let me know what
you think.
And of course thank you to Jess and Loo for looking it over and making it much
more british and also much better. You guys are the best.
Also to Nina, because you are a-okay and your vampire-edit-skills were much
appreciated. The Harry manip is all her doing, ahem.
Also credit for the manip used as Harry's new twitter icon goes Nic who is absolutely
aces!
..... dig in?
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Giv mig lidt mere - giv mig lidt mere
Giv mig et til stik
Giv mig lidt mere - giv mig lidt mere
Du m ikke give slip
(Uopnelig Marie Key)
CHAPTER X:
So, this whole thing has worked better than wed ever dared hope for, Simon Jones says, seated
on the other side of the table, opposite Harry and Louis, Richard Griffiths and Harry Magee next
to him. But weve agreed that its time to think of a strategy to end this. Its our hope that the
established fan base will still stay for your music, and not just for your relationship, and of course
we have every intention of playing this as a mutual breakup with the emphasis on the two of you
staying friends, so you can finally stop acting with each other in public. Im thinking youre quite
excited to get your lives back, no? So lets get this worked out, yeah?
Something funny twists in Louis stomach at Simons words, and he feels almost nauseated,
because because hes known this was coming, known it all along, but known it in this abstract
kind of way, like when you're studying for exams and you know that the date where you have to
take them will come, and you know that when the day arrives, it will also mean that it will be all
over, but when youre sitting there buried in books, the fact that the day will come seems like a
farfetched dream.
Except this is kind of the opposite, because maybe Louis doesnt want it to end, maybe Louis has
been dreading the expiration date of their little project, maybe he's been dreading it as much as you
dread the day of an exam, except this doesnt have the consolation prize of being followed by
freedom. Or it does, of course. Its going to be the most free Louis has ever been, never has he
ever lived a life less affected by lies than the one post this whole thing will be, but maybe he
doesnt want to be that free.
Right, he says into the silence that follows Simons words. Unease is eating away at his
stomach, and he doesnt know what to say. His head is a mixture of feelings, so many different
feelings, and he cant work out where one ends and the other begins, cant even sort out what hes
really feeling. Hes so confused, everything is just so confusing and Louis needs a moment, needs
a fucking moment, needs all the fucking moments in the world and he cant even get as much as a
few seconds, because three pairs of eyes are staring at them, three people waiting for what they
have to say, andand Harry isnt saying a word.
Right, he tries again, clearing his throat before continuing. Yes, that soundsthat sounds
reasonable, yeah.
Simon talks and Harry is silent and Louis doesnt know what to do with himself. Hears sentences
such as after the tour, give the fans the kind of shows theyve paid for, spend more time apart
and he just cant deal. Cant fit it all inside his head.
And he realizes, suddenly, that he doesnt know how to continue on with his everyday life
without Harry. Doesnt know how to revert back to how it used to be. Harrys become such an
integral part of his life, of his home and himself. Theyve built a life together somehow, and over
the past almost six months hes never truly stopped to wonder what it would be like once hed
have to peel Harry out of his life again. And its not just the sex, or the domesticity at home, or
them at work its everything, Harry has wormed his way into everything, into every part of
Louis' life, and how is he supposed to remove him when hes stuck like a particularly stubborn
splinter wedged into Louis foot. Only more pleasant. Right.
And its just everything has changed, really. Theres no denying that. Everything has changed.
Big things, small things, nothing is really the same.
How does that sound, boys? Magee interrupts his thoughts, drawing him back to reality.
Fuck if Louis knows, hasnt listened to a word either of them has said for the last few minutes,
knows only vaguely that it was a more detailed plan for their break up, and just
Uh, fine, he says, because really, what else is he supposed to say? Hi, yeah, sorry? Can I get a
moment to process all this, because, yeah, I know this was all pretend all along, but I may have
gotten some things a bit messed up, and Im gonna need a bit to sort it all out in my head before I
can even begin to contemplate a so-called break up. Yeah, sounds good? Right, yeah, not going
to happen.
Just, yeah, he continues, shrugging, and Harry still hasnt said a word, not a word or a sound or
anything, and Christ is he even breathing? Louis steals a glance at him, and sees him looking
resolutely into his own lap, not meeting anyones eyes, lips pressed so tightly together theyre
turning white. Louis cant study him any longer without it seeming both obvious and creepy so he
continues where he left off. Just let us know, right? Like, once you need us to do something. This
is all your charade after all, so
Griffiths nods once resolutely, seeming satisfied with Louis answer. Excellent then. Well
contact you once we need to start planting the seed, yes? You can go now, Im sure youd like to
relax a bit before your show tonight.
Harrys up and out of the room so fast it seems like hes just a blur of motion, like a cartoon figure.
Hes up, out, and gone, and what the hell?
Louis gets up too, makes his way out of the makeshift office in some nondescript room
somewhere at the venue, and exits to see Harrys retreating figure walking away from him, strides
fast and brisk, like he just wants, needs to get away as fast as possible. Louis is so confused.
Harry! he calls, following him down the corridor, but to no avail. Harry! He yells again,
jogging after him, calls his name one last time, and finally manages to stall him. He turns around
just as Louis reaches him, his expression void of any emotion, eyes cold, and Louis has never,
ever seen that expression on Harrys face, much less aimed at him.
What the hell, mate? Louis asks, nausea churning in his stomach, flight mode well and truly
setting in, because this isnt good, this isnt going to end well, no way, no way, not with the way
Harry's looking at him, like hes the scum of the Earth, and Louis doesnt even know what
fucking happened? What did he do? Why are you being like this? He sighs, runs a hand through
his long hair and shakes his head slightly. Look, Im sorry, I get we should have talked about
this, like before, you know? I shouldnt just have agreed, we shouldve talked about how we
wanted things to play out towards the end. We shouldve discussed it, Im sorry. Look, Im sure
we can still get a say in it, if thats what you want, I
Harry lets out a sort of hysterical laughter, shutting Louis up immediately. Hes face is no longer
void of emotion, no, now its a mural of different ones; anger and sadness, hurt and hopelessness.
But anger most of all. Harry just looks so angry, looks so, so angry, has actual tears in his eyes,
and Louis entire being hurts, because apparently hes the one who made him look like this, and
he doesnt know why. He doesnt know how he can fix it, only knows that he one hundred
percent, without a doubt wants to.
You really dont know, do you? He shakes his head incredulously, his voice this strange
mixture of disbelief and anger, and Louis is honestly so fucking scared of what hes about to say.
You literally have no idea. I cant believe I
Harry, what are you talking about? Louis interrupts, so, so confused, and it hurts all over, hurts
inside of him, and he wants it to stop, wants Harry to stop looking at him like that, like he single-
handedly ruined his whole world, killed his entire family and maybe even a puppy or two. Wants
Harry to look at him like he used to, like he's special, like he hung the moon and the stars, like
Harry actually likes him, cares about him, loves him.
Fuck you, Louis. Harrys voice is cold, and he takes a step away from him. He wants to reach
out, grab him and prevent him from leaving, but hes frozen in place, finds that he cant move at
all. Just. Fuck you. If you dont know why Im angry, then it never really mattered anyway, did
it?
Louis doesnt know what to say, doesnt understand anything. But its just as well, because Harry
doesnt stay for more than a few seconds before turning his back on him and fleeing. Louis
doesnt know how long he stands there, all alone in the abandoned corridor, and maybe he should
have followed Harry, that would probably have been the right course of action, but its like his
feet have been glued to the floor, and even if he did end up following him, he wouldnt even
begin to know what to say or do, because he doesnt understand whats happening.
It never really mattered? What never really mattered? Jesus fucking Christ could Harry for once
just stop being so god damn confusing, stop talking in riddles and just bloody tell Louis what hes
upset about? Clearly Louis has done something, must have done something really fucking bad,
because he's never fought with Harry like this, has never had Harry look at him like that, has
never had anything but mild irritation aimed at him from Harry.
Harry doesnt get pissed off, isnt the kind of person who gets angry or holds grudges. Definitely
isnt the kind of person who gets angry at Louis. He's always had an almost saint like approach to
him, always been able to stomach so many more of Louis antics than anyone else. One of the
reasons why they fit so well together.
Eventually Louis moves, makes his way to the dressing room where the other three boys are
gathered, either eating or getting ready for the show. He feels like he might throw up, and Harrys
not here. Harry doesnt arrive until thirty minutes before the show, which is completely
preposterous, and has left the entire crew in an absolute frenzy. Louis has lost count of the number
of times hes been approached about Harrys whereabouts, and every time hes had to tell them
that he literally has no clue.
The other boys have been eyeing him warily all night, obviously aware that something is wrong
(fucking hell, Louis might as well have fighting with Harry flashing over his head in neon letters
its so obvious), but not about to broach the topic in front of their entire crew. Louis is kind of
grateful, wouldnt know where to start or end or what to even say. He doesnt understand this
himself, cant help but feel like hes missing such an integral piece of the puzzle, that last one
which reveals the whole thing.
Harry is simultaneously getting an earful from both Paul, Lou and Caroline, while Lou is trying to
fix his hair and his makeup, and Caroline is fussing over his clothes. He just shrugs and murmurs
at them, too far away for Louis to be able to make out what theyre saying, but close enough that it
feels like Harrys presence envelopes him like a cloak. He looks all wrong, a little bit like hes
aged ten years within the last couple of hours. He looks tired and worn, the corners of his lips
tilted down like hes sad. He looks so, so sad. Looks kind of like Louis feels, like he would
probably look himself if not for the mask of foundation Lou has smeared all over his face.
He looked angry the last time Louis saw him now he just looks miserable.

He doesnt get the chance to speak to Harry, none of them gets the chance to speak to him before
the show. Hes surrounded by the crew, getting prepped and reprimanded all at once, and it
doesnt allow for any of them to approach him. So as theyre about to go on stage, Louis is really
flying blind. Has no idea what to expect, no idea how to act, no idea where they stand. Its
confusing and frustrating, and really fucking terrifying.
Theres no time for huddles, or cuddles, or chants, or reassurances that theyre going to smash this.
No time at all. Barely have they lined up before the first bars of Never Change can be heard, and
they need to run on stage.
Louis feels so sick to his stomach that for several seconds hes afraid he might throw up. Hes met
by the crowd of thousands of people, and hes never wanted to be on stage less. He feels so
exposed, so vulnerable, so out of control and he kind of just wants to curl up in his bed and sob
for a few hours. He doesnt understand how it could all go so wrong so fast. Just this morning
theyd had a leisurely shag in the shower before having breakfast together and watching a film in
bed. It was good, it was so, so good, and now its just not.
Hes going to get to talk to Harry after this, he supposes. Will have time to sort it out.
Communication, right. He just gotta talk to Harry, tell him that he doesnt know whats going on,
but that he wants to fix it. Yes. Theyre off for the next four days, before their next gig. A mini
break in the middle of the UK leg of their tour, and they bloody live together, so no way Harry
can avoid him, right? Theyve got a car arranged for the two of them in the morning, hell even
get to see Harry tonight in their room. Maybe its just all a bit of a misunderstanding. Maybe Harry
has realised that he overreacted, maybe he just took his frustrations over something else out on
Louis, and theyll sort it out once they talk. Louis is sure they can sort it out if they just sit down
and talk it through like rational adults.
Hes kind of forgotten that hes on stage to be honest, sort of tuned out the screaming crowd,
singing along to their songs on autopilot. Its not until Niall hip checks him that he zones back in,
returns to the present, so to speak. Theyre between songs, and Niall raises his eyebrows, seeming
to ask if hes okay. Hes really not, but he better not show that.
Zayn and Liam are talking to the crowd, and Louis forces a smile, trying to convey that hes just
fine.
I dont know about you boys, he says into his microphone, stepping closer to the edge of the
stage. He holds up his hand over his eyes, looking out over the horde of people, like a sailor
taking in a ship on the horizon. But Im kind of overwhelmed by this right now.
Pretty sick crowd this is, Tommo. Niall agrees with a sage nod, and Liam and Zayn murmur
their agreements. Louis doesnt know where Harry is, and he turns slightly to look for him as Niall
continues to introduce their next song. Hes at the opposite side of the stage, his back turned to
Louis as he seems to be interacting with the crowd hes in front of. He always does that, its
nothing out of the ordinary, Louis reminds himself, but but then why does it feel like Harrys
ignoring him?
Because he is, it turns out as the concert progresses. He really, really is. Theyve played a fair few
concerts of this tour by now, and never has it felt like this. This is worse, actually, than Take Me
Home, which Louis had thought was as bad as it could get. He doesnt really let himself worry
about how Harry seems to be sticking to the opposite part of the stage from where he is, until they
get to Something Great. Like, Harry still walked the catwalk with him during Little Black Dress,
and maybe he seemed to be looking everywhere but at him, and maybe he wasnt holding his
hand like has become the custom, but its nothing compared to the feeling Louis has when hes
sung his last line of Something Great and Harry isnt there.
Harry isnt there.
And maybe it shouldnt be a big deal, maybe Louis is overreacting, but--- but it is a big deal. Its a
really fucking big deal, because Harry is ignoring the choreography theyve been given, is
ignoring something they were actually told to do. And its shit, is what it is. Louis doesnt even
want to begin to think about what kind of speculation theyve started today, everybody and their
grandma must be able to see how wrong they were on stage tonight. Theyre going to wake up
tomorrow to break up speculations, and is that what Harry wants? How are they supposed to
ever seem like theyve remained friends after a breakup that looks to be so hostile? After Harry
can barely even look at him? Is this Harrys way of saying this is it? As in this is it for their
friendship? As in Im done with you, Louis? Because that is so not on, Louis is so not on board
with that. Fuck, theyve really gotta talk. Sooner rather than later. Hes just going to have to bite
the bullet and confront Harry as soon as theyre back at the hotel, yes. Solid plan that, no way
thats going to go south, nope.
Somehow he makes it through the rest of the show, and he thinks that he seemed pretty normal,
hopes he didnt seem like someone who just had the rug pulled out from under him, just had his
entire world practically crashing down around his ears, because Louis has tried missing Harry a lot
of times, he missed him back when he kept jetting off to LA every time they had as much as two
days off, he missed him when he was touring with Ed, he missed him when he moved out of their
shared flat, he missed him back when theyd just met when he had to spend three days without
him over Christmas, but somehow hes never missed him as much as he does right now, standing
only a few meters away from him, being so close that he could literally take two steps, reach out
his arm, and touch him. Its a clich, hes literally living Harrys lyrics, but he really is so close,
just so close, and yet so, so far away.
And really, its just so fucking confusing, Louis thinks, as they leave the stage a final time,
because Harry was smiling at him on stage, at least a few times, and it looked genuine, it did. But
now, as soon as they're off stage, hes avoiding Louis, not even speaking to him. Louis cant even
fucking find him backstage after the concert, and he's just so, so fucking confused.
It doesnt take him searching long to be completely convinced that Harrys already left, and why
hed do that, Louis has no clue. Except to avoid him, of course, thats the most glaringly obvious
reason, and he's going to have a choice few words for him as soon as he gets back to their hotel
room. Which might as well be now, he supposes, as he flags down Alberto and asks him to get
him a car to leave the venue.
Thankfully the ride back is fairly quick and theyre not interrupted by any fans which Louis is so,
so grateful for. The car parks in the basement of the hotel, allowing Louis to make it to his room
undetected. He unlocks the door with his key card, and is immediately met with the sense of
something being wrong. Theres something different about the room, something very, very off.
It takes him several laps around the room, inspecting it, to realise that Harrys suitcase is missing,
every trace of their cohabitation is missing. Harrys jumper which Louis had tossed over the arm
of the sofa just this morning, just as Harrys toothbrush and every fucking thing he brought with
him. Gone.
All that's left is Louis clothes, folded neatly in the second suitcase because Harry is still a fucking
sweetheart, even when he hates Louis so much that he cant even stand to tell him that hes
leaving, much less actually spend time in the same hotel room as him. And it just looks so wrong,
all his clothes neatly folded and placed in one suitcase. All wrong. Ever since all of this started,
theyve just packed two suitcases with a mixture of their clothes, and it seems so wrong to see one
suitcase containing only his. It must have taken Harry ages too to separate their clothes, but he did
it anyway, even though they're both going home together tomorrow morning. God, whatever hes
apparently done, Harry is angry. Really fucking angry, and how is Louis supposed to fix
something hes done when hes not even sure what it is? And, like, Harry cant just keep running
away from him, thats not how it works. Theyre gonna both be home tomorrow, theyve got four
days before their next gig, theyre gonna talk about it sometime then, no way Louis is going
through another concert like the one they just performed. Harry cant avoid him forever.
He sits down on the bed that suddenly seems much, much too big, views the lone suitcase, and he
just feels this inexplicable feeling of sadness, weighing down on his chest heavily. And its
something as simple as having to wear his own clothes, not having Harrys jumpers be mixed in
with his own in the suitcase, not having the lavender knit to curl into or the massive black jumper
that dwarfs even Harry. Not being surrounded by Harrys smell, his very presence. Louis has
grown so accustomed to spending practically every waking moment with Harry, it kind of feels
like hes forgotten how to just be himself. He misses him already, he really, really misses him.
Even on stage tonight, Harry was right there, and yet he's probably never been further away.
Sighing, he gets up again and moves to his suitcase to find a t-shirt to sleep in. Hes suddenly
tired, the happenings of the evening draped over him like a blanket of exhaustion. Carefully
ruffling through the clothes Harrys folded, trying not to mess it up too much so that hell have to
pack it all again in the morning, he gets out a stack of shirts. Hes just about to grab a generic
white one, when he sees a glimpse of something striped. Pulling at the fabric he ends up with a t-
shirt thats decidedly Harrys, as Louis definitely hasnt worn anything striped since 2012. He
holds it to his face and sniffs the fabric, meeting the unmistakable smell of Harry. He must have
forgotten it in his haste to get away from Louis, and Louis heart clenches at the same time as he
gets up, the top still clutched in his hand.
Normally he doesnt even sleep in a t-shirt, preferring to sleep in just his boxers or completely
naked, but he also usually has Harry draped all over him as a human blanket, and
Louis puts on the top. Its a big on him, a bit loose even on Harry, and it cloaks him, makes him
feel safer somehow. Its a poor substitute for Harry, but its really better than nothing. He foregoes
brushing his teeth, too sad and exhausted to bother, and just crawls under the covers, trying to
ignore the empty space beside him that has been occupied almost every day for the past five
months.
Despite his exhaustion, it takes him hours to actually fall asleep, and when he finally does its to a
restless slumber. He wakes up of his own volition at six in the morning, still utterly exhausted and
simultaneously unable to sleep anymore. He quickly makes peace with the idea that more sleep is
not on the cards for him anytime soon, so he packs up his room, calling room service to get them
to pack him up some breakfast for the trip home, and supposes that the earlier he gets home, the
less is the risk that Harry has the time to sneak out before he gets there. He calls up the car service
too, thankful that its one of those 24-hour companies, and that hes returned to being the kind of
A-list celebrity that people bend over backwards to satisfy. Hell make sure to tip them
generously.
Thats how he finds himself on the road by seven oclock, head rested against the coolness of the
window as he mindlessly watches the English countryside pass him by. He doesnt really fall
asleep but he dozes off several times, and soon enough the car is pulling up in front of their house.
Theres no light in any of the windows, no indication that anyones home, but there wouldnt
really be, would there? Its only about nine oclock, Harry could easily still be sleeping. Harry
probably is still sleeping.
He tries to keep quiet as he lets himself into the house, moving towards the master bedroom after
having dropped his bag in the hall. He ignores the uneasy feeling in his tummy as he moves closer
to the door leading into their sleeping quarters. He feels almost nauseated, inexplicably nervous as
he pushes the door open, and
Hes not here.
Harrys not here.
The bed is as empty as when they left to go on tour more than a week ago, the same jumper
thrown carelessly on top of the bedspread where Harry had tossed it when he changed his mind
about bringing it with them. He hasnt been here. He hasnt been here at all, its very, very clear.
Which begs the question, where has he gone then? If he left the hotel room with all his stuff, but
didnt go home, where did he go?
Before he can think it through too much, he types in a text to him, a simple where are you ?? and
pushes send, before tossing his phone onto Harrys pillow. He sheds his trackies and crawls under
the covers on their bed, burying his face in the pillow that still smells like Harrys shampoo, and
falls asleep again.
When he wakes up theres still no word from Harry, though there are several texts and missed
calls from him mum and the other boys. He doesnt check any of them.

He spends the next few hours in a sort of trance, it feels like, doesnt really know what hes doing,
how hes getting time to pass. Its strange, and hes confused, and just so mentally exhausted. It
feels a bit like hes entered some strange twilight zone. Harry's mad at him, fuck, Harry left
without a word of where he was going, hasnt told Louis anything, hasnt even replied to his text
to say that hes at least alive. For fucks sake, for all Louis knows, Harry could be lying in a ditch
somewhere, stone cold and dead.
Thats not exactly a pleasant thought, so he tries to keep his mind from wandering down that path.
Hes sitting on the sofa in the living room, and hes honestly pretty sure that hes been sitting here
doing nothing for an amount of time which would definitely not be classified normal. He doesnt
feel normal at all now, so its probably quite fitting.
A thought suddenly occurs to him, so very obvious that hes surprised he hasnt thought of it
before now. Harrys house. Harrys house. Louis has been so used to thinking of his house as
their house, but technically this is Louis home, and Harry still has his own, only twenty minutes
away. Maybe hes gone home? Maybe what they need is just Louis showing up there, giving
Harry no opportunity to ignore him, and then theyll just talk this out. Get it sorted, get the
misunderstandings cleared. Yes.
Theyll probably be able to quell the abundance of break up rumours there must surely be by now,
their odd behaviour on stage having hardly been missed by anyone. If they just talk it through, and
make an appearance together tomorrow, that should be more than enough to assure everybody that
theyre fine, unless unless this is about Harry wanting out now? Is that what this is? Is this
Harry wanting it to end, Harry being sick of it, Harry being sick of Louis? Why didnt he just say
so then? And why is he mad? Louis cant even count the number of times they swore not to let
this affect their friendship in the long run, theyve stressed numerous times how the break up will
have to happen in a way that allows them to continue their friendship naturally afterwards, but
Harry is genuinely mad at Louis now, genuinely doesnt want anything to do with him. The
thought of having lost Harry forever is both nauseating and painful all at once.
Right. Hell just have to do something about it then, no use bumming around on the sofa. He gets
up and makes his way upstairs, brimming with energy now that hes got a purpose, a plan. He just
needs to grab his phone, his wallet, and his car keys, and then hes off. Fuck that hes still wearing
Harrys t-shirt and a ratty pair of trackies, fuck that his fringe is messy, and kind of gross and
greasy, fuck that he probably looks like death caught him unawares. Hes not going to Harrys to
seduce him, hes going there to figure out what the fuck hes done, and to get Harry to forgive
him, even if it means getting on his knees and begging. Hes not above begging, hes not above
doing anything that could fix this thing between him and Harry right now.
His phone is tangled with the bedspread, and when Louis finally manages to extract it, its yet
again filled with missed calls and texts. Zayns called multiple times once again, which is strange,
really, because Louis wouldnt expect to hear from him at all during these four days hes got just
him and Perrie. Its not Zayns calls that really trip him up, though, its one lone, innocent message
from Niall. Six simple words. Six words that kind of bring down his entire world.
Mate, whats Harry doing in LA??
And thats thats a really good question.
Thats a really fucking brilliant question. Question of the year, that. The year and the century and
the fucking millennia, and what the fuck is Harry doing in America?!
Louis is sort of frozen in position, half bent over the bed, and the words seem to just ricochet
inside his brain, a constant chant of Harry, Harry, Harry and LA, LA, LA.
LA as in Los Angeles. As in America. As in on the other side of the fucking world, Jesus Christ.
They have a four day break and Harrys flown to LA? Has flown to LA and not even bothered to
tell Louis a single thing? Oh, that is just so not on. And how would Niall know? Clearly not from
Harry or he wouldnt be asking Louis why he was there, so so that means everyone must
know? Does that mean that there are pictures of him there? Do everyone know that Harry fucked
off to LA for a couple of days and left Louis here? Like, not that he cant do that, Louis isnt his
mum or his keeper or whatever, but but he didnt even say a word. Shit.
Louis pulls up his twitter app, certain that twitter will be able to tell him what he wants to know.
One of the first things he sees is a tweet from Sugarscape, which makes his stomach twist into
knots, nausea burn in his throat. The picture attached is even worse.

He turns off his phone, the thing feeling like its burning through the skin of his fingers, and he
tosses it aside carelessly, kind of hoping it might shatter and break, like its its fault that Harrys in
LA, looking like hes either part vampire or just feeling every bit as awful as Louis.
He sits motionless on the bed for several moments, before he cant quell the curiosity any longer, a
sick need to just know burning in him. He gets his laptop opened quickly, moving almost
mechanically as he gets Sugarscapes homepage opened. Harrys literally the top news on their
site, and the headline hes met with clenches around his heart like an ice cold hand.
LARRY STYLINSON OVER?! HARRY STYLES SPOTTED DINING WITH OLDER
MALE
Oh, no! Say it aint so! Is Harry Styles (22) and Louis Tomlinsons (25) relationship, lovingly
dubbed Larry Stylinson by fans, over only a few months after they went public with it? If so thats
the saddest thing to happen to us since the ending of Titanic. LIKE THAT WASNT
EMOTIONALLY DAMAGING ENOUGH!
The lads of One Direction have a short four day break in their busy touring schedule, and here at
Sugarscape wed have thought that the bands lovebirds Hario and Luigi would be spending that
time together as theyve been pretty much inseparable since coming out to the public in August
last year. For the first time since then it seems like there might be trouble in paradise though *cue
sobbing*.
The two men, who have otherwise been quite open with their affections in concerts, seemed off
and didnt interact at all according to fans, and coupled with the rumours of Harry arriving late
to the concert and taking off for LA the minute the concert was over, it doesnt seem too good for
the two lovebirds, does it? (We cant be the only ones whove had to inhale biscuits in a steady
stream to cope with this, stay strong girls!)
Last nights concert, as well as Harry appearance at LAX where he looked very upset and
rundown (just return to your boy, Hazza, and let him cuddle you better, thats our advice!), has
fuelled massive speculation amongst fans on whether the two of them are breaking up. We must
admit its even planted a seed of doubt in us, and we pride ourselves on being the biggest fans of
their relationship to be found. Its all quite sad, innit?
There has yet to be any statements from either boy, and the Tommo hasnt been spotted since last
nights concert either. Styles was spotted only a short hour ago having an early breakfast with an
older male friend. Fans who spotted the two took a grainy picture, and otherwise reported that
they were sitting close, and looked very comfortable with each other. Oh, Hazzabear We gotta
say, if this a break up were witnessing, Harry sure does move on quickly. Poor Louis. We can
only hope that this is all a big misunderstanding, and theyll be back to being their good old selves
by the next concert.
We, for one, are gonna be very sad if this is the end of Larry Stylinson after they finally got
together! While we sit back with popcorn and tissues ready and wait to see how this plays out,
why not take a look at the gallery weve made of lovely moments throughout their epic love story
just click NEXT! Or comment with your theory below: do you think theyre breaking up??

Shit. Oh, fucking shit, Louis cant believe he just read through all of that, cant fucking get the
grainy image of Harry and the man out of his mind, cant get the way his hand was resting
intimately on Harrys forearm out of his head, cant forget how close they were sitting, and. No.
No, fuck, Louis doesnt even have a right to be jealous, doesnt have any right, but, sod it all, he
is. He doesnt want to share, much like hes never wanted to share Harry with Nick, its childish
and its selfish, but he just want Harry to be his, just want it to be the two of them.
And its just Louis remembers him, remember how Harry used to fly to LA to see him regularly
before their hiatus, God only knows how much he saw him during their two year break.
And now Harrys with him again, flew there without a word the second they had just a few days
off, and thats not okay. Not okay. For all intents and purposes Harry is still technically with
Louis, he doesnt just get to go gallivanting off with other men, he doesnt get to go make the
entire world believe that hes cheating on Louis (he doesnt get to cheat on Louis, fuck. No, no
Harry wouldnt, wouldnt ever, not even when hes mad, not even when this isnt even real, he
wouldnt. right?).
He doesnt just get to run away, damn it.
Fuck. Fuck, and why does Louis feel like flying to LA and punching that son of a bitch for
touching Harry, and thats just unfair. Louis is being possessive, and its unfair, and he hasnt
got any right. Harry isnt his property, Louis has no right to have any kind of say in who can
touch him and who cant, its just
Hes always kind of wondered if maybe they were more than just friends? Back when Harry kept
going there, kept spending so much time with him, and Louis couldnt help but wonder if maybe
Harry really had found someone. Hes never asked Harry, and Harry has never mentioned it, so
with time hes sort of just thought that it was him reading too much into an innocent situation, but
now maybe not?
But, just even if Harry is reconciling with his former lover, boyfriend, sugar daddy, whatever,
he wouldnt do it to Louis like this, right? He wouldnt. The Harry Louis knows would never
make Louis look this bad to the press, would never end what they had with a cheating scandal.
No. Just no. Problem is the Harry who gets this pissed at him, isnt really a Harry that he knows.
But no. No way Harry would ever do this. No, Louis refuses to believe it. He knows Harry, yes.
Odd behaviour of the past 24+ hours aside, Louis knows Harry.
And hes literally got the biggest headache of his life, feels fucking awful physically and
mentally. And just. Just a lot like he could probably sleep from now and until the end of time.
Harrys made it so, so abundantly clear that he doesnt want Louis to contact him, that he doesnt
want anything to do with Louis, and hell just have to well, accept it really, what else can he
do? Harry flew to fucking LA to get away from him, hes not gonna chase him there when he
clearly doesnt want anything to do with him.
If hes lucky, he can get to talk to Harry when they get back to work. Harryll have to
acknowledge him eventually, so
Hes going to bed. Hes going to crawl into bed and hes going to stay there for the rest of their
short break, and hell only get up to have a wee and to get something to eat. Maybe not even the
last one. No, fuck, hes gotta stop being such a drama queen, yes definitely the last one too, hes
not going to mourn himself into starvation. Hes just gonna crawl into bed, and do nothing, and
feel really fucking sorry for himself, and thats not going to be anyone elses business. Zayn can
just amuse himself with Perrie, and his mum is going to have to survive a few days without talking
to him, and Harry clearly doesnt give two fucks about him, so thats all fine and dandy just like it
is.
He buries himself under the covers, the blankets lying heavy like the feeling in the pit of his
stomach. The room is dark, curtains drawn even though its not yet night, and Louis cant help but
think that this room is an excellent representation of his emotional state.
Christ, who knew losing his best friend would turn him into such an emo? God, does he feel
pathetic.
Even more so when he may or may not have a little cry before falling asleep once again.

Its morning on the day hes leaving to go back on tour, when he suddenly hears something
downstairs. Hes kept pretty true to his vow to stay in bed, watching Breaking Bad from the
beginning and not turning on his phone or computer once. Its felt both therapeutic and
counterproductive all at once.
His first thought is that maybe its Harry whos finally come home, but it only lasts a couple of
seconds before he hears Zayn bellowing his name from downstairs. He groans into his pillow, not
ready to face anyone really, and in desperate need of a shower.
Louis, Zayn calls again, voice getting louder as hes presumably climbing the stairs. Louis, are
you in he cuts off when he opens the door to the bedroom, seeing only Louis head peeking up
from the duvet. Louis. He sighs, moving further into the room and opening the blinds, allowing
natural light to finally enter the room.
Theyre silent for a few moments before Zayn sighs once more and moves to lie next to Louis on
top of the covers. You havent been answering any of my calls, mate. He states, looking at
Louis expectantly.
Phones off. Louis explains, voice kinda rough from disuse.
Hmm, Zayn hums, Been kinda worried about you, and, you know, with Harry being in LA
and you two seeming off and all He trails off, but its quite clear that theyre cutting straight to
the chase, not beating around the bush or anything. When Louis doesnt answer after a moment,
Zayn continues, When I couldnt get a hold of you, I called Harry and asked him what the hell
was going on you know, told him I hadnt been able to get in contact with you these past few
days, asked what the hell he was doing in LA
He trails off, and Louis prompts him with a soft Oh, pathetically desperate to hear what Harry
mightve answered.
Yeah, he told me to get my finger out of my arse and go see if you were okay. He sounded
worried, Lou.
Louis snorts rather unattractively, and feels the sting of tears in his eyes yet again. So Harry hadnt
minded telling Zayn to check on him, but Clearly not worried enough to call himself.
Zayn stays silent after that, letting Louis last words hang in the air between them. He can almost
see how they trace lines there, painting the air with heavy black strokes.
Are you ready to tell me whats up with you and Harry? He finally asks, turning on his side to
face Louis properly. Something in his expression seems weird.
It makes Louis ask, What do you mean?
Lovers spat? Zayn questions, raising an eyebrow. Louis furrows his brown in confusion, not
sure where hes getting at. Trouble in Paradise? Is it--
Zayn, Louis interrupts him, speaking slowly. You know were not actually together, Harry and
I.
Several beats of silence pass between them.
Evidently Zayn did not know that. So. Louis isnt sure which of them is the most shocked by their
personal revelations. Because. Well, what the fuck?! Zayn. Zayn, out of all people, apparently
thought they were together. Just. Literally, what the actual fuck?
Youre Zayn seems to be trying to wrap his head around this apparent newfound information.
Youre not?
No. Louis answers, voice high pitched and slightly hysteric. No, this is a fucking publicity
stunt, you know that!
But youre living together?
For appearances sakes.
Youre shagging, dont try to deny it, its so fucking obvious.
Weve got needs. Harrys an amazing shag. Its notwere not its just a friends thing, no
strings like
Louis, tell me one thing that would be different between how you are now, and if you were
actually in a relationship. Zayn finally says after several moments have passed, with the
controlled calm of someone speaking to an unruly toddler. Louis supposes the comparison isnt
without its points.
And, oh. Just oh.
Because. Fuck. Because Louis cant, now that he really thinks about it. They practically are,
arent they? Even if none of them thought to consider it. Even if it hasnt been something theyve
acknowledged, theyve somehow slipped into the routine of a couple right down to Wednesday
night sex. Even when its just the two of them. Even when they have no one to put on a charade
for.
Theyve been like actors in a play, only they just never stepped out of their roles, adapting to them
until they became the role, until there was no distinction between what was real and what was not.
Except it hadnt been a role. It has never been a role. Cant be divided into whats real and whats
not, because its all real. Everything for them has been genuine, and natural, and--
Hes in love with Harry. Fuck.Fuck, hes in love with Harry. Maybe he always has been. No, not
maybe. Probably. Definitely. Shit, its always been there, hasnt it? Always been there, strumming
through his body like a second heartbeat. Such an integral part of Louis that hes never had to
ponder it, always been able to brush it away as a friendly love, because Harry is easily the most in
important person in his life, and fuck, hes really always been in love with him, hasnt he?
Every emotion Louis has ever felt suddenly makes tenfold more sense his feelings whenever
Harry had to stroll around with one of his many ladies, had always been more than just anger over
what they were putting Harry through. It was actual jealousy, even if he didnt want to admit it to
himself back then.
And it could be amazing. It could be wonderful. It could be the start of a proper relationship, a
proper future for the two of them. It could be marriage, and kids, and happily ever after. It could
be everything.
If only Harry felt the same.
And he sees it, with the same clarity that he realised his own love, that Harry doesnt feel the same
way. How could he? Hes Harry Styles, the most beautiful, wonderful, fantastic boy on earth
inside and out. He deserves much, much more than Louis could ever hope to give him.
Hes in love with Harry. Cant ever envision a time when he might not be. Hes in love with
Harry.
But Harry will never love him back.
And he doesnt understand how he could have been so oblivious, how he couldnt see it for so
long. Its like his love for Harry rolls off him, like it clings to his skin like a perfume, like hes so
surrounded by it that he can practically taste it in the air. All this time, all this time its just been
right there, been a part of Louis, been as much a part of him as his right arm, and, fuck, hes
possibly the most oblivious person on the entire planet Earth. Its so clear to him now, the fact that
he was blind to his own feelings for so long seems such a ridiculous notion.
And Louis, he just he just breaks. Shatters into a million tiny pieces like fine crystal glass
dropped on the floor.
He crumbles, quite literally, folds in on himself, wraps his arms around his own torso as though
hes trying to keep himself together.
And the tears stream down his face. They fall in a steady stream, like they have no intention of
ever stopping, not until Louis has dried out, every drop of liquid in his body evaporated. He sobs.
It reverberates through his body like tiny earthquakes whose epicentres are located in his belly. He
sobs, and cries, and doesnt even feel Zayn as he holds him close, because suddenly he
understands. He understands everything from the past six years. And it hurts.
Hes broken, broken beyond repair it feels like, because the biggest piece of him, the piece nestled
right inside his heart, the piece that is so obviously Harry, will never be able to be glued back on.
He can mend himself with time, hes sure, but it will always be a cheap imitation of who he used
to be, who he could have been in a perfect world, like a Chinese vase with obvious glue tracks
and a big shard missing.
Pretty, but broken.
Mended, but not quite.
Never truly returned to its former glory. A shadow, a pale imitation of who he could have been.
And its like something heavy is sitting on his chest, pressing down on his lungs; its like his throat
is closing up, like someone has clasped their hands around it and is just squeezing, squeezing,
squeezing. Squeezing. Louis cant breathe. He cant breathe.
He briefly wonders if this is what its like, getting a panic attack, a heart attack, shit, Louis feels
like hes dying. Could be dying. Fuck. He feels like he should be gasping, desperately gasping for
air. His insides burn, his entire body feels so weird, and--
He. Cant. Breathe.
Louis. Zayns voice cuts through the haze of Louis mind, sharp like a dagger, the other boy
cradling Louis head in his hands as Louis finally locks eyes with him. Lou, breathe.
He gasps. He gasps and air flows into his lungs, filling them until he feels somewhat human. Its
kind of like the first rays of sun after a long winter. Hes breathing, hes breathing just fine, and
had he been a little more lucid, hed probably have seen Zayns relieved face.
Louis, Zayn says again, and Louis tilts his head to look at him, tears still making their way
down his cheeks, and he has no control, no control over it at all. Wouldnt be able to stop them
even if he had the mental capacity to contemplate it.
Im in love with Harry. He whispers, so quiet that hes sure Zayn nearly misses it. Its strange,
saying the words out loud. So strange, but he has simultaneously never been this sure of anything
in his entire life. Hes so, so in love with Harry and what the hell has these past five months
even been? Does Harry know, does he know that theyve pretty much been an actual couple? Did
he know all along? Is that what this is about? Is it because he finally got sick of it, got sick of the
way Louis managed to twist them into something he never agreed to be? Fuck, its so confusing,
Louis is so confused, and hes just Hes so in love with Harry, and its kind of difficult to fit
anything else into his head, the revelation filling it up, taking up every bit of space available.
Hows he supposed to go on now? Hows he supposed to spend all his time with Harry, so
painfully aware of the fact that hes in love with him? How is he supposed to look at Harry
avoiding him every day, look at him and not even being able to speak to him?
God, hes been so stupid these last few months, hasnt he? Just been so, so blind. It seems so
ridiculous now that hes been so out of touch with his own feelings. It makes him question every
single thing that has happened between them, makes him wonder what changes and what doesnt.
What moments suddenly take on a new meaning? All the things Harry has done for him when
did he realise? When did he realise how hopelessly Louis has fallen for him? When did it start
going from being a fun shag for Harry to being shit-my-best-mate-has-fallen-in-love-with-me?
Why didnt he say something? Why not just a simple Hey mate, not all that comfortable with
your clearly not-so-platonic feelings for me? No, no just, it kind of hits Louis out of nowhere,
theres no way, no scenario, no alternate universe where this wouldnt have ended up in ruin, no
way this wouldnt have resulted in absolute heartbreak. It is what it is.
Fuck, nothing Louis is thinking is making sense. He cant think clearly at all.

Zayn stays. They dont speak much after Louis confession, but Zayn stays. He packs Louis bag
again, pushes him into the shower and gets him ready to go to the hotel theyre staying at for the
next concert. Louis stays silent.
Zayn drives them, its a couple of hours drive, and Louis spends the entire time looking out the
window, only moving to turn off the radio the second he hears the opening piano bars of their
third single. No just no.
He moves like hes a zombie, still so, so caught up in his own mind, and he lets Zayn guide him to
his hotel room, opening the door and letting Louis in. Louis kind of just wants to be alone, really.
Its afternoon, he suspects, and they have a concert in the evening, they must have missed
soundcheck, Louis suddenly realises, but he doesnt have it in him to give a fuck, counting on
Zayn having sorted it out.
Zayn lingers in the doorway as Louis moves into the room with his bag. So hes not coming,
Louis is strangely relieved honestly.
He looks at Zayn expectantly, waiting for the other man to say whatever hes clearly bursting to
say.
This doesnt have to be a bad thing, Lou, He finally mutters, looking at Louis with this this
expression Louis cant place. I dont understand why you see it like that. You can finally be
happy now. He stays for a few moments more, sort of looking like hes expecting Louis to say
something, but he wouldnt know what to say, wouldnt know where to start at all. Zayn leaves.
His parting words stay with Louis, because Louis can finally be happy now? What even? Louis
was happy enough before this happened, before his entire world came crashing down around his
ears. Now? Yeah, not so much.
Unless
Unless by you Zayn didnt mean you as in Louis, but as in Harry and Louis, as in the two of
them. As in the two of them could finally be happy together.
But that would mean that would mean Harry felt the same. And the concept feels so foreign, so
ridiculous, but maybe?
At any rate, its just well, its not like it can get any worse, is it? Theyve already hit rock
bottom. Harry isnt speaking to him, they arent interacting beyond their limited time on stage
when they have to keep up appearances. Louis honestly cant imagine any scenario that would be
worse than what theyre currently living through. Not ever in the coming on seven years theyve
known each other, has it been this bad. Harry wont even look at him, for Gods sake. Its not that
their relationship has hit a rough patch, they literally havent even got a relationship anymore. Its
like hes air to Harry. Every bit as insignificant as a stranger is to him. So why not? Why not just
be honest? If nothing else itll be a weight off his chest.
And Louis, fucking hell, in all honesty Louis isnt even sure what he did. Christ, this is all so, so
fucked up.
So what does he really have to lose when push comes to shove? Nothing. Literally nothing. Zilch,
zero. So he might as well, right?
Maybe, if theres just the tiniest chance that everything will work out in his favour even if it
seems the most unlikely scenario, but maybe. Just maybe.
And, before all this happened, before everything went to hell, Louis hadnt told Harry that he
loved him for almost a month, not even in a text or a snapchat. Thats not normal for them. Its the
longest hes ever gone without saying the words since the first time he told him all those years
ago. The thing is, he realises now, even then he wasnt sure how hed mean them if he told him.
Everything has gotten so big and important and complicated, so hard to sort out. The line between
best friends and something more and the fucking love of his life having been blurred beyond
recognition.
Theyre not blurred any more. Not even close. The lines drawn into the sand so clearly they could
be spotted from the fucking moon. Love of his life. Love of every single one of his lives, if he
actually believed in reincarnation. Theres no one but Harry, Louis sees that, he knows that, feels
it deep in his heart without a shadow of doubt, but--
Harry hasnt said it either.
He picks up his phone to check what time it is. Zayn had made him turn it on and call his mother
after Louis got out of the shower, but he hasnt looked at it since. First thing he sees is that Harry
has tweeted something an hour ago. Right. Louis has never been good at curbing his curiosity, so
he quickly swipes his thumb across the screen to check what Harry wrote, and
Fuck. What the actual fuck? Shit, Louis doesnt even know where to put his attention, because the
tweet, fuck, the tweetlike, what does that even mean? Is thatno, Louis is so fucking confused,
what is Harry doing? Wait. Itsis that a Script lyric? Shit. From Breakeven, what the fuck. Louis
knows that song, Louis loves that song, its-- its a break-up song if there ever was one, but
theyre notits not
What is Harry doing?
There are already so many rumours about them breaking up, because Louis knows the fans, and
the media, and everyone can see theyve been off ever since the meeting. And The Script, fuck,
Harry. No ones going to doubt that hes indirecting Louis here, and why is he? Sod it all, Louis
doesnt understand anything anymore.
Because maybe Harry does want more. Maybe. But why the fuck he's acting this way, Louis
doesnt understand; it doesnt make any sense.
And then his new profile picture. No, no, no, no.
It might say Harry Tomlinson, but hes cropped out Louis and his Louis Styles jersey from the
original pic. And. Fuck, he could have chosen so many pictures, theyve got so many cute and
couple-y pictures of the two of them, but he chose this one. One without Louis. One where he
actually took the time to cut out Louis. It shouldnt be a big deal, shouldnt be significant, but to
Louis, right now, it feels like it means everything. Like Harry is sending him a message. Or
sending someone a message.
Who the fuck ever knows whats going through Harry Styles brain?
Fact is that this picture is just enough to appease the fans, while still sending the message clearly
across that everything is so fucking fucked up.
Louis needs to fix this. Whatever end it will meet, it needs to be fixed.
And, fuck, the lyrics should mean more to him, should punch a bigger hole in his gut, it really,
really should. Its The Script, for fucks sake. Its a song that contains lyrics like What am I gonna
to do when the best part of me was always you and What am I supposed to say when I'm all
choked up and you're ok (Louis is so, so not okay), but he cant think further than Harry
Tomlinson, Harry Tomlinson, Harry Tomlinson, because fuck does he want that someday.
He types in a tweet of his own, before hes barely even registered pushing the buttons, and the
next thing he knows, hes thrown his phone recklessly at the bed, unsure if it even landed there or
if it has now taken residence on the floor. Then hes out the door, the tweet still open on his
screen, no doubt. A reply to Harrys picture, even if no one will ever understand, even if everyone
will misinterpret it.
He tears down the hall of the hotel, almost running straight into Paul, and only slows down for the
few seconds it takes to get a room number out of him. He finds the door he needs quickly, and
bangs on it impatiently until the door is opened by the disgruntled boy whose hair is sticking out in
odd angles, clearly having just been asleep. Under normal circumstances Louis would be more
apologetic over messing with someones nap, but this time hes really got no time for compassion
or any of that kind of shit. Hes a man on a mission.
He takes a deep breath before talking, heart beating a mile a minute, threatening to beat out of his
chest.
Niall, I need your help.
Chapter End Notes
Thanks for reading! If you've got the time, or have anything to say, or even if you
don't, please leave a comment - it means so, so much to me!
If you need more And Then a Bit, check out the character asks, or send some of your
own if there's something you're curious about.
It'd also mean a lot if you'd reblog the masterpost for the fic. Or just come say hi on
tumblr.
I'm currently writing the next (last actual) chapter, so I can't guarantee it'll be up on
Friday, it depends on how quickly I can get it done, and my betas need some time to
look it over too, but I'll do my very best! Thanks for reading xx
XI
Chapter Notes
Okay, I can't believe I'm doing this, but this is the last chapter, so of course thanks
must be given:
To Jess - for being sweet, and kind, and British. And amazing. Thank you for your
time, and your superiour English skills.
To Loo - for powering through even though life is busy. For always coming through,
and for making the fic so, so much better. For dealing with my terrible grammar. For
being kind, and lovely, and an absolute sweetheart.
To Nina - for being the reason this is even a thing. Without you this would still only
be 14.000 words half forgotten in my project folder. Thank you for continuos
support, for being the very, very best, for giving me much more encouragement and
love than I deserve. And for your manips, because you are a QUEEN. This is for
you.
To all you lovely, lovely people who've read this, to the ones who've stuck with me
from the beginning and the ones who came as the story progressed, and to those who
will hopefully read now that it's finished - thank you so, so much. you have no idea
how much the fact that you're reading has meant to you. I'll never be able to express
in words how grateful I am for all the kudos, comments and kind messages on tumblr.
Just thank you so, so much.
And a massive happy birthday to Dina, this is a bit late, but I hope you'll enjoy.
Credit to the manips goes to Nina, and for Harry's twitter profile pic the credit goes to
Nic. Thank you.
Happy reading - epilogue will follow as soon as it's done. xx
See the end of the chapter for more notes
S tro p det kan st selv - helt uden forsvar
Tro p det kan holde - det er s fedt det vi har
Nr jeg ser det hele - hjt oppe - ovenfra
Er vi to helt vildt rigtige - jeg ved det bare
(Marie Key Uden Forsvar)
CHAPTER XI:
Honestly. Louis doesnt think hes ever been this nervous before a concert before. Not ever. Not
the first time, not the biggest crowd, just never. Theyre all backstage now, getting ready for the
show, and Harrys there, is right there, so close Louis hasnt been so close to him for days and,
frankly, he looks terrible, looks every bit as terrible as he did in those pap pictures from his arrival
at LAX, and it twists in Louis gut, because fuck, he doesnt want Harry to look terrible. Doesnt
want him to look like someone killed his pet, especially doesnt want him looking like that when
chances are that Louis is the reason he does. Somehow, no matter what it takes, Louis is going to
fix this. Whatever end it gets, whatever means it takes, hes going to find a way to make Harry
happy again, even if he has to move himself to Timbuktu. Yes, having a purpose is great.
Harry hasnt acknowledged him at all, not that Louis was really expecting him to, what with him
doing everything in his power to not have to spend time with Louis these past few days. Its one
of the main reasons he quite thinks he might be about to make the stupidest move of his entire life,
but well, no pain, no gain, isnt that what they say? Not that this is really no pain, no gain,
or well, it is, but more like in a no risking your heart and massive humiliation, no gain - and
even then no guarantee of gain, this might well blow up in your face and turn out to be the worst
decision you have ever made in all of your twenty five years of living kind of way.
Christ. Louis isnt even sure hes going to make it to make it through this sane. The thing is, this is
kind of it, isnt it? Either this works and thatll be the best fucking thing in the world, or it doesnt,
and that might actually mean the end of seven years of friendship; of seven years with Harry as the
most important part of his life. Well, actually, not really that, he doesnt think theres anything that
could take that title away from Harry, thinks hell probably always be the most important part of
Louis life, but itll definitely be the end of him being anything to Harry.
He doesnt know how theyd be able to salvage anything if this doesnt work, doesnt even think
Harry would want to. Like, Louis might be able to write it off as a charade kind of thing, as
something done because everybody thinks theyre breaking up, so why not, but well, he isnt
sure Harry would even buy it, is pretty sure that no matter what, hes going to give away the fact
that hes madly in love with his best friend, the wanna spend every single moment from now until
the end of the world with you kind of in love, and he finds that he kind of doesnt mind. It would
be pretty mortifying to have Harry know that hes just so, so gone for him, but he finds that now
that hes finally admitted it to himself, has finally come clean, well, he doesnt think he could
really hide it, even if he wanted to. Hes so, so sick of secrets and just not being honest with each
other, and no matter how Harry feels, if they ever want any chance to rebuild some sort of
other, and no matter how Harry feels, if they ever want any chance to rebuild some sort of
relationship, its probably about time they just come clean about everything.
Now, there are probably better ways of going about this, but well. Go big or go home, really.
Plus, the other boys had been all for the idea, so Louis is sort of counting on the fact that theyd
have stopped him if he was about to make the biggest, most humiliating mistake of his life. Right.
Doesnt mean hes not nervous though, doesnt mean he isnt fucking terrified, doesnt mean he
doesnt feel like throwing up and bolting from the room.
He must be giving off a dont come near me kind of vibe, because theyre all leaving him alone,
and hes really kind of grateful for it, isnt sure if words or vomit would leave his mouth if
someone were to ask him a question, and right now hes really questioning his own sanity. Hes
sitting on a sofa, thankfully ready to get on stage, appearance wise, head in his hands as hes
going through his plan obsessively, absolutely determined not to fuck it up. Thatd be awful, just
awful, and definitely best avoided.
His heart is beating so hard, so fast, that he feels like surely it must be leaving behind a bruise on
his chest. He kind of wants to bolt, to just run, run, run until his legs give away under him, until he
comes tumbling to the ground, hopefully a really fucking long way from here. God, what was he
ever thinking, coming up with this plan? Like, really, he wasnt even thinking, was he? Hes
never made a decision so fast, barely contemplated it for even a few seconds before coming to
knock on Nialls door, begging him for his help.
He doesnt know what hed have done without Niall. Fucking fantastic Niall, who dropped
everything he had in his arms to help Louis, who informed Liam and Zayn, and everyone else
whod need to know, so that Louis wouldnt have to deal with that on top of what he was already
doing, who just understood that Louis was fucking terrified and needed all the time in the world to
keep himself from spontaneously combusting with repressed emotions and nerves.
The thing is, it feels a bit like hes letting a vampire kiss his neck, trusting them not to bite while
theyre at it. Its like hes giving Harry his heart, with a nice little bow on top of it and a card
saying please dont break me, while simultaneously handing him a hammer.
Hes trusting Harry, trusting him not to hurt him, and while he knows that Harry never would
deliberately, no matter how much he despises Louis, because hes still the best fucking person on
earth, this time it might just might be out of his hands, might not be his choice at all.

Before he knows it, time having moved much, much too fast, Paul is announcing that its time for
them to line up, to get on stage, to play the gig thats going to alter the course of Louis life
permanently, no matter what. He looks up from his hands, where his head has been resting,
elbows digging into his thighs, and meets Harrys eyes for all of two seconds. The younger man
was looking at him, could have been looking at him for actual ages, for all Louis knows, and with
this frown on his face, this sort of contemplative and and worried look, like he was actually
concerned about Louis. That doesnt make sense, but all Louis knows is that they caught each
others eyes, and Harry is looking better, Lou having done a miracle job on him, and he was
looking at Louis, looking at him before Louis himself looked up, and he didnt stop, didnt
immediately look away when they made eye contact, kept looking for just a few seconds. Then he
looked away, looked away and got up, grabbed his mic and got ready to go on stage, and Louis
doesnt know what to make of anything, except for the fact that he needs to get on stage and he
needs to try. He needs to try, if nothing else he needs to be able to say that he did everything in his
power to sort it all out.
So this time, when they run on stage, its different, so different from last time, because this time
Louis has a plan. It might be a shit one and it might end horribly, but hes going to try; hes going
to give it his best and if hes lucky itll work out in his favour, and if not well, thats something
hell have to deal with then.
He makes it through Little Black Dress, walking next to Harry down the catwalk, makes it
through Strong, makes it through so many songs, and Harry isnt really acknowledging him, but
its okay because Louis is nervous enough as it is. Theres only twitter questions left until it all
goes down, and, well, to say that Louis is scared shitless would be an understatement. He doesnt
pay much attention through the first two, giving half hearted, automatic answers, and the
circumstances considered, he thinks he can be excused. Hes pulled back to the present though
when Zayn reads the last question aloud, a simple clearing of his throat and then, Oh, this is an
easy one, lads. Which is your favourite football team? Niall?
Niall takes a moment to answer, pretending to be thinking hard. Derby, mate, he says
eventually, Really no competition, Im afraid.
Course, Zayn chuckles, turning slightly, angling his body towards Harry. Harry?
Manchester United, Louis thinks, because everyone and their second cousin twice removed
knows that Harrys favourite team is United, and why people continue to ask questions they
already know the answers to, Louis will never unders
Doncaster Rovers, Harry says, startling just about everyone, very much including Louis.
Because, just what? Yeah, uh, my favourite football team is Doncaster Rovers. I mean, like,
United is a close second, but the Rovers has become quite special to me.
Special place in your heart? Liam teases, and Louis is still too stunned to actually comprehend
whats going on around him.
Yeah, he hears Harry soft reply. Exactly that, yeah.
And, well, what is Louis supposed to make of that? Is that is Harry trying to make peace? To
figure something out? Is it just to keep up pretences? Because its not exactly like hes bothered to
do anything about that over these past few days. Is this Harrys version of an olive branch?
He looks up at him, but Harrys still got his back to him, leaving Louis no opportunity to analyse
his facial expression.
Good choice, he gets out miraculously, voice uncharacteristically soft and fond. Or, well, not
really all that uncharacteristically considering that hes talking to Harry. Think I might have to
agree with Harold on this one, personally.
Course you do, Liam chuckles, shaking his head slightly and hip checking him with a small
smile playing on his lips. Hes suddenly reminded that all the boys know whats about to happen,
and oh, God.
He sort of tunes out the rest of their answers, so, so nervous that he doesnt think he could focus
even if his entire career was riding on it. As Niall moves to introduce the next song, Louis moves
towards his piano, sitting down on the bench to run his fingers over the keys, trying to calm his
nerves.
This is going to make or break everything between himself and Harry, and thats thats fucking
terrifying. What if hes misinterpreted everything? Shit. But, no, the boys wouldnt have been so
enthusiastic about his idea if they knew he was setting himself up for heartbreak, right? Theyd
have said something, would have stopped him. Right? They definitely wouldnt have spent hours
leading up to their performance on practising the changes with him, Niall wouldnt have agreed so
easily, just no.
He puts his fingers to the keys, and just like that theyre off, the opening notes to Little Things
coming softly from his piano. As soon as he puts his fingers to the keys and starts to play, its
almost like hes transported to some strange zen-like state where hes just inexplicably calm, the
nerves from earlier gone and forgotten. Well, sort of. But suddenly he can focus on nothing apart
from letting his fingers drift over the keys as Zayn starts the first verse, can focus on nothing but
this song, on whats happening right now, on whats about to happen, and hes calm, just settled
in the knowledge of whats about to happen. Hes about to be honest, so, so honest more honest
with himself, and the world, and Harry than he has probably ever been. Its strangely liberating.
The first part of the song is as normal, nothing out of the ordinary, and Louis kind of thinks that
maybe he should be getting more and more nervous as it approaches, but strangely its only like he
gets calmer. He loves Harry, is so, so in love with Harry, wants to spend the rest of his life with
him, and hes ready for Harry to know, is ready for the whole world to know, doesnt ever want
to keep something like that a secret.
Its with the start of the second verse, of Louis verse, that things take a different turn. Louis stays
silent, just completely silent, plays the music like he has to, but doesnt say a word. Doesnt utter
even a syllable, exactly like theyve rehearsed.
Niall does instead.
He watches Harry, cant help but look at the other man as the words meant to come from Louis
leave Nialls mouth instead.
You can't go to bed,
Without a cup of tea,
And maybe that's the reason,
That you talk in your sleep,
And all those conversations,
Are the secrets that I keep,
Though it makes no sense to me
Niall sings it flawlessly, but it sounds odd coming from him and not Louis, even after having
rehearsed through it countless times only a few hours ago. As soon as Nialls let out the first word,
Harry whips his head around to look at Louis, naturally as confused as everyone in the crowd. His
eyes lock with Louis, and Louis smiles at him softly, tries to communicate everything he cant say
with words in that one look, tries to reassure him that its okay, that nothings wrong, that its all
under control. He doesnt quite know if he succeeds, but Harry seems placated at least that Niall
isnt taking over for Louis because hes run for the hills or something. Which is good, he
supposes.
He breaks their eye contact when he turns away from Louis to sing his part, and Louis doesnt let
himself mourn the loss of whats probably the most direct contact the two of them have had since
the conversation (if you can even call it that) in the hallway after the meeting with Modest!. He
doesnt let himself mourn it, because hes finally really allowing himself to hope for a hell of a lot
of contact as soon as this concert is over, is letting himself hope that he interpreted everything
correctly, that maybe Harry is every bit as gone for him as he is for Harry.
Louis has never been this impatient with a song in his entire bloody life, the suspense is literally
killing him, and he wants to just fast forward through the stupid chorus, yet at the same time hes
really, really not ready, needs a pause button or something, needs to stop, slow down, take a deep
breath and get ready.
Its time. Its time and its now, its going to change everything, and Louis heart is beating a
million times a minute, which surely cannot be healthy, but hes really got other things to worry
about. So.
So he sings.
You'll never love yourself,
Half as much as I love you,
You'll never treat yourself right, darlin',
But I want you to,
If I let you know I'm here for you,
Maybe you'll love yourself,
Like I love you,
Oh
The very moment Louis utters the first syllable of Nialls part, Harry whips around to look at him
again, so fast Louis almost worries it gave him whiplash. He looks at Louis, eyes big and
surprised, and Louis sings. He looks back at Harry, looks straight at him, because hes singing to
him, hes singing to Harry and he needs him to know without a shadow of doubt that its him, that
its him Louis wants, him Louis loves. Because it is. Just so, so much.
When he gets to the end of it, its so glaringly obvious that Harry is too stunned to do anything,
least of all sing, so Louis cant help but quirk his lips up, a tiny private smile meant just for him as
he continues to sing Harrys part.
And I've just let these little things,
Slip out of my mouth,
He doesnt get further before Harry seems to finally perk up, and he joins in, eyes locked with
Louis with the kind of intensity that eliminates the rest of the world around them, that makes it
seem as though its just the two of them here and not an arena filled with thousands of people.
They sing together, their voices blending in perfect harmony, and Louis knows, somehow,
distantly, that there are so, so many screaming fans in the crowd, so many people bearing witness
to this, but his entire world is Harry. Just Harry.
'Cause it's you,
oh it's you,
It's you,
They add up to
Louis stops singing, confident that Harry can sing the rest of his verse now, and also that hes
gotten his point across. Harry finishes singing the last two lines alone, eyes still locked with
Louis, and he feels the hope blossom even more, feels it fill his entire being, glide through his
veins like liquid gold. Harrys smiling at him, grin big and sincere. Hes smiling at Louis, looking
straight at him, eyes locked, and hes singing; singing words Louis had hardly dared to dream of
hearing even in his wildest imagination. And its not the same as having Harry tell him to his face,
but when Harry looks at him like he is now, its pretty damn close. Louis will take it for now.
And I'm in love with you,
And all your little things,

Somehow the concert moves on, and it feels like a giant stone has been lifted off Louis shoulders,
like he can finally breathe easily again. Theres still so much they need to talk about, so much, but
he feels lighter than he has in days. If hes not misinterpreting everything, Harry wants him too.
Loves him too, and its the most brilliant feeling Louis has ever felt. Its like theyre neutrons and
protons, making more sense together than apart, having more purpose together, becoming
something big, and vital, and fucking irreplaceable together, and maybe this metaphor is all
messed up but sue him, because his brain is all scrambled and he never actually managed to pass
physics. So.
He makes it through a handful of songs almost in a trance, smiling like a loon as he sings his parts
with passion, constantly stealing glances at Harry to find him already watching him, grin mirrored
on his face.
Theres still the tiniest, miniscule doubt inside of him, this part that finds it so, so difficult to
believe that Harry could possibly love him back, so there arent words enough in the English
vocabulary to describe the amount of relief he feels when he finishes his solo in Something Great
to find Harry kneeling in front of him. He doesnt immediately draw Louis in for a kiss though,
not like all the other times, and for a few seconds they just look into each others eyes. Harry
seems to be searching for something, and Louis is powerless to do anything but look back at him.
He just hopes that Harry will find what he seeks in his gaze. Its only a short moment later, though
it feels like an eternity to Louis, that Harry runs his nose along his cheek until hes breathing hotly
against his ear.
Please tell me this means what I think it means. His voice is just loud enough for Louis to hear
over the roaring crowd, and he knows that theyre holding up the concert, knows that there are so,
so many people watching them, knows that they should get a move on, knows they should wait to
talk this through until theyre alone in their hotel room.
He pulls Harrys face away from his gently, cradling it in his hands. He looks into his eyes, trying
with every fibre of his being to convey how much he means the words hes about to utter. He
leans in, rests his forehead briefly against Harrys, before moving to press his lips against his ear.
I love you. He whispers, words meant only for Harrys ears, and he hears them, Louis knows,
because his hands move to grasp his wrists, wrapping around them easily, like every body part of
Harrys was made to fit Louis, and holds tight. He pauses for a moment and then adds, because
its an important distinction, Im in love with you. Im so, so in love with you.
Next thing he knows hes got Harrys lips pressed against his own, a bruising sort of quality to it,
and its the best fucking thing Louis has ever felt.
He thinks it might mean I love you too.

Louis doesnt know how he is supposed to make it through the rest of the concert when it feels
like hes being physically pulled to Harry all the time, like his fingers are itching from the need to
touch him, to hold him, to have him. Theres still so much time left, so much time, and Harrys
there, hes right there, but Louis cant grab him, cant whisk him away like he want to. And its
just torture, orbiting around him, fingers brushing, smiles aimed, kisses blown, but its not enough;
its not enough because right now Louis needs him, needs him so much, and he still has to share
him with thousands upon thousands of people in the audience.
Im gonna go for a quick wee, lads, he announces quickly when the next break between songs
comes, needing desperately to have three seconds to collect his thoughts, if theres to be any hope
of him completing the concert without showing off some inhuman abilities and throwing Harry
over his shoulder before flying out of the arena or something equally impossible.
He leans his head against the wall as soon as hes off the stage, thankful that there arent any of
their crew around right now, and breathes in deeply, trying to sort out and calm down the
thousands of different emotions swirling around in his body. He startles when hes ripped out of
his thoughts by a pair of familiar arms sneaking around his waist, pulling him close against a broad
chest.
He sags into it, moves his own hand to intertwine with one of Harrys resting on his stomach.
You okay? Harry breathes into his ear, tightening his grip on his hand.
Louis nods, and he knows Harry must feel the motion against his shoulder. Louis is okay. Louis is
good, is great, is fantastic. Is so fucking overwhelmed. God.
He turns around in Harrys arms so that theyre face to face, and Harrys hands come to rest on his
hips, Louis own hands splayed out over Harrys firm pecs, forehead resting against his shoulder.
Theres so much I need to tell you, Harry says finally after what seems like years of silence, but
is hopefully only a few seconds, seeing as theyve got a concert going on and theyre being wildly
unprofessional right now. He lifts his head, meeting Harrys eyes as theyre boring down into his.
So much you dont know.
And it should probably set off all sorts of alarms in Louis head; is Harry about to announce that he
actually has four wives and seventeen children spread all over the world, did he elope with
someone else when he was in LA, did he record a sex tape of the two of them and sell it to
Sugarscape? He finds that he doesnt care though, as long as Harry actually wants him back, he
doesnt think theres anything Harry could say that could ruin this for him.
Me too, he says instead, because its the truth, because there are so many things he needs to
explain to Harry too. Theres a lot we need to talk about.
Harry nods, hesitates only for a second, like hes afraid he might not actually be allowed to, before
bending down slightly and placing a chaste kiss on Louis lips. I didnt get to say it out there,
Louis, but I love you too. I love you so, so bloody much.
And its a little bit like hearing angels sing, or winning the game of life, oror something equally
amazing. Its unbelievable, and all consuming, and so empowering that Louis quite expects he
might actually be able to really fly if he gave it a bit of effort. Hearing Harry say those words,
hearing them and knowing that its not in a laddy-dude-bro-pal kind of way, but that its in the
spend-our-life-together-for-the-rest-of-forever kind of way is probably the best thing Louis has
ever experienced. Hes so lucky, just so, so lucky. He doesnt know how he could ever have
gotten this lucky, he must have been a fucking saint in some former life or something. Christ.
He doesnt think he could form actual words even if his life depended on it, feeling so, so
overwhelmed, emotions filling his entire being like theyre threatening to spill from his body any
second. And its not that he didnt know, because Harrys reaction on stage had sort of given
away that Louis wasnt exactly alone in the love department (and thank fucking god for that!), but
hearing the words, hearing those three little words actually coming from Harrys mouth---
There are no words. No words.
There are no words that could ever describe how Louis is feeling right now. Better than getting
three yeses on his audition, better than being put in One Direction, better than making it to the
final of the X Factor, better than getting a record deal, a number one album, a fucking stadium
tour, better than all of those things combined. Because Harry loves him too, is in love with him
too, possibly wants to spend the rest of his life with him too, though that ones probably something
they ought to cover in the very long conversation theyll no doubt be having.
Devoid of words, Louis pulls Harrys face to his, sealing their lips together and trying to convey
all that he cant find the words for with his lips.

As soon as the concert is over theyre out of the venue, and in a car on their way to the hotel,
neither of them fancying staying around to answer questions from the other lads before they even
have time to talk about it the two of them. Theyre silent as they sit next to each other in the car,
thighs pressed closed and fingers intertwined. Its not for the lack of something to say, Louis
thinks, its probably more because theres too much to say. He doesnt know where to start or
what to say, doesnt know where to go from here except that he wants to go there with Harry.
Always with Harry, wants Harry right there next to him for the rest of his life preferably.
Im sorry, he says eventually, just as the car pulls up next to the entrance to the hotel. Hes not
even sure what hes apologising for if hes honest, but he has this inexplicable need to express just
how sorry he is for any and all hurt he might have caused Harry.
Harry twists slightly in his seat so that hes facing Louis, the car having come to a complete stop
now. Im sorry too, babe, he says, raising his hands to run a thumb down Louis cheek. I
wasnt fair to you either, and. Therestheres so much we need to talk about, just he pauses,
expression almost pained as he leans forward and connects their lips, kissing Louis once, hard. I
love you, he says, voice fierce and eyes burning. I love you, softer this time, and you love me,
yeah? Thats whats most important. Well work all the rest of it out together.
Louis nods and leans forward, connecting their lips again, softer this time. I do, sunshine. I love
you so much.
Harry nods and leans in, rests his forehead against Louis shoulder, letting out a sigh when Louis
takes his hand to card through his soft curls where theyre peeking out from the headscarf.
Ready to go inside? He murmurs, pressing his lips into Harrys hair. Therere bound to be fans
outside now, should probably put on our game face.
Harry stiffens slightly, almost unnoticeably, probably wouldnt be something he would catch, if he
wasnt so attuned to the younger mans body. He shakes his head and leans in, placing a kiss on
Harrys temple. Not what I meant, baby. This is all real, all of it. I just meant, like, our let go
meet fans face.
Harry nods, lets out a long breath and moves to unbuckle his seatbelt. Im sorry, he says, turning
to Louis again, whos done the same. I dont mean to be so sensitive, I just
Louis shakes his head, cutting him off. Dont worry about it, love. Lets go in before we talk all
of this through, yeah?
Harry nods, and Louis squeezes his hand one last time, before moving to get out of the car,
pausing outside it and waiting for Harry to exit as well, grabbing his hand when theyve closed the
car door. There are plenty of fans stationed outside the hotel, and Louis smiles and waves at them,
as he makes his way to the hotel entrance with Harry.
They take the lift up to the floor theyve rented, and as they step out Louis makes to turn towards
his room, expecting Harry to follow, when the younger man pulls at their intertwined hands,
effectively stopping Louis mid-stride. He turns to face him fully, a questioning look upon his face,
and hes met with a sort of nervous looking Harry.
Can we get my stuff first? he asks, taking his bottom lip between his teeth and pressing down
enough for the flesh to turn white. For several moments Louis doesnt understand, until he realises
that Harrys referring to the single room he must have gotten Paul to book for him. Because he
wasnt expecting to sleep with Louis, to interact with Louis at all. Right. How easy it is to forget
how shitty everything was only a few hours ago. I mean, like... if you dont mind me staying
with you, and all He trails off and the lip is back between his teeth in record time.
Louis lifts his hand to gently tug his abused lip away from his teeth with a soft smile. Course we
can, lovely. Dont be silly, I want nothing more than to share our room again. These past days
have been a bit shit without you.
Harry nods, slotting himself against Louis side, hand curling around his hip. For me too.
Hmm, Louis hums, in lieu of something better to say, because what really is there to say? Hes
seen how Harry looked when he got to LAX, saw how he looked today before Lou did her magic
on him, but on the other hand he was still perfectly alright to go out and eat with people, and its
not that he doesnt know hes being a shit for even worrying about it, for even thinking about it,
but theres so much they still havent talked about, and Louis just he just doesnt know. Doesnt
know anything, not what to believe, not what to think, nothing. He knows that Harry loves him
now, doesnt doubt it, but that doesnt mean
Hey, Harry says, tugging gently at his arm as they walk down the corridor towards his room,
their fingers still linked. Hey, youre all frown-y, whats the matter?
Louis shakes his head, forcing a small smile on his face as he tries to just rid himself of those
stupid thoughts. Nothing. He says, giving Harrys hand a brief squeeze. Nothing, dont worry.
Its stupid.
Not stupid, Harry argues, which is kind of ridiculous, considering the fact that he doesnt know
what Louis is even thinking about. Couldnt be stupid, love. He stops in the middle of the
corridor, stalling Louis too through their linked hands. Clearly it bothers you, tell me what it is.
Its not rational, Haz, he sighs, resigning himself to telling Harry about how ridiculous he is.
Like, I know its stupid, and unfair and all, but I just you fucked off to LA, Harry. You didnt
even tell me, you didnt answer my text, I didnt know where you fucking were, and the next
thing I know there are articles everywhere about you and another man, and I know that youre just
friends probably, and that I dont have any say in it anyway because we werent actually together,
and
But we kind of were. Harry interrupts him, and well yeah, they really kind of were. And thats
a big part of why I reacted like I did, and we should talk about this, baby, we have to talk about
this, but maybe not right here. Later. But, Louis, love, theres no probably in the just friends.
Hes just a friend. A good friend, yeah, but just a friend. Im not interested in anyone but you,
would honestly probably need a fucking lifetime to get over you.
He lets out a heavy breath following Harrys words, wordlessly stepping closer and burying
himself in his embrace, winding his arms around his waist as he feels Harry move to hold him
close as well. Dont want you to ever have to get over me, he chooses to mumble into Harrys
collarbone a few moments later, resting his lips there in a lingering kiss.
Harry holds him closer, and its the only answer Louis will ever really need.


They gather Harrys things from his room quickly, and Louis derives a sick sort of pleasure from
letting the door slam shut to the empty room, fully intent on never letting Harry get his own room
again.
He barely allows Harry to drop his bags next to his before hes crowding him up against a wall,
pressing his body close to his, and he knows they ought to talk, ought to sort it all out before just
falling into bed, but just hes just missed Harry, just missed him so fucking much. Missed being
close to him, and his touch, and his everything, and honestly its not like their ability to speak is
going anywhere, they can still talk tomorrow. Right.
Hes got both hands resting on Harrys shoulders, and the younger man has let his body slide
down the wall slightly, putting them exactly eye to eye. Hes watching Louis with big, trusting
eyes, like hes just waiting to see what Louis next move will be, like hell allow him to do
anything, anything at all. Like no matter what Louis asked for, Harry would give it to him.
He slides his hands down slightly to fist them in the fabric of his white tank top. I, he says,
pronouncing each word clearly, Have missed you. So much. He moves closer to kiss him
chastely once, and then repeats. So much.
Harrys hands move to grasp his hips, pulling him impossibly closer, murmuring an earnest, God,
I missed you too, before sealing their lips together once again, this time wasting no time on chaste
or proper, but going straight to downright indecent. Hot. Fucking mind numbingly good. The best,
really, always the fucking best with Harry.
He takes a step backwards, pulling Harry with him through the hold hes got of his tank top, all
the while keeping their mouths connected. It feels like coming home, kissing Harry again. Like
coming home and finding ones rightful place on Earth, and winning life, really. Its the best
feeling, the absolute best, the way his lips mould against Louis, the way their lips fit together
seamlessly, the way their tongues glide against each other, wet and perfect. And its better, so, so
much better than it has ever been before, because now its with the knowledge that, fuck, theyre
in love with each other. Louis doesnt think hes ever been this happy in his life, finds that he cant
hold back a smile, the corner of his lips curving up as they fall back against the bed, Harry on top
of him.
What are you smiling about? Harry asks, smile widening just from looking at him. They scuttle
back slightly until he's lying back against the pillows and Harry is straddling his lap.
You just make me happy. He answers honestly, hand coming up to take a hold of the hem of
Harrys tank top, moving to pull it off him.
Harrys grin widens to impossible proportions as he pulls the top off all the way, leaving him
shirtless on top of Louis. Itd be a lie to say that hed forgotten how fucking gorgeous Harry is, but
it's something else being confronted with it directly again.
So fucking fit, he cant help but let out as he runs his hands up Harrys toned upper body,
stopping at his nipples to run his thumbs over them, before pinching them in the way he knows
drives Harry mad.
Lou, he breathes, throwing back his head and arching his back as he lets out a soft moan,
nipples hardening under Louis fingertips.
Yes, dear? Louis asks, smirk firmly etched onto his face and a smug tone colouring his voice.
He finds great, great satisfaction in being able to elicit such reaction from Harry.
Harry grabs his wrists, stilling his actions. Naked, he rasps out, panting slightly already, I want
you naked, please. Please, baby, want to see you naked, cant wait, I
Louis raises his hips as best he can, rubbing his denim clad, hardening cock against Harrys.
Might wanna get off me then, babes, he grins, twisting his hands around to free his wrists and
intertwine his fingers with Harrys. He pulls their joined hands to his face and kisses the back of
each of Harrys hands, the action intimate and uncharacteristically sweet for their current situation.
Harry bends down to connect their lips again before rolling off of him and the bed, and Louis
nearly groans from the lack of contact. He predicts a future where being separated from Harry is
nearly groans from the lack of contact. He predicts a future where being separated from Harry is
going to be next to impossible, even now when hes literally half a metre away, he still thinks its
too much. Surely thats not healthy, but he supposes they can be classified as being smack in the
middle of their honeymoon phase, and considering what theyve gone through to get here, how
long theyve waited to have this properly, and taking into account the conversation theyre going
to have in the morning that will be neither short nor pleasant, Louis thinks they should be allowed
to stay in the honeymoon phase for a really fucking long time. Forever, perhaps. You definitely
wont hear Louis complaining.
He sits up in the bed, ridding himself of his clothes and tossing them carelessly to the ground,
watching Harry shamelessly as he does the same. He gets a hand on himself, pulling slowly, just
enough to keep him from exploding as he watches Harry bend over his suitcase, pulling out
something from the front pocket. Lube and condoms, Louis can see, as Harry turns back to him,
making his way towards the bed, eyes trailing appreciatively down Louis body.
He crawls back into bed, looming over Louis with a small smile on his face, the lube and condoms
still clutched in his hand. Wanna feel you everywhere, he breathes, holding his weight up with
one hand as he uses the other to run down Louis side, coming to rest on his hip. God, I never
thought I could have this again. Shit. LouLou, do you want to fuck me, or
Louis shakes his head, running his hands down Harrys strong back. Want you inside me, he
breathes, dick fully hard at the thought of Harry looming over him, covering his entire body with
his own, filling him up until its almost too much to take.
Harry lets out a strangled sound, burying his head in the crook of Louis shoulder with a Fuck
yes, before drawing back and kissing him once more. He fumbles slightly with the bottle of lube
and the next thing Louis knows, hes got Harrys sticky finger between his cheeks, circling his
hole briefly before pushing in.
The sensation just from one of Harrys fingers is maddening, Louis back arching from pleasure
without his consent. Its only been six days or so since he last had Harrys fingers inside of him,
but it feels like an actual lifetime, and this, now, feeling Harry add another finger, and then
another, moving them inside him, brushing over Louis prostate, its absolutely breath taking.
He's sucking marks into the points of Louis hips, mouth moving over his skin, wet and soft like
velvet, sucking, licking, and biting until Louis feels like he can hardly stay in his own skin, so
entirely overwhelmed by what hes experiencing.
One hand already fisted in the sheets, a desperate attempt to ground himself, Louis moves the
other to Harrys hair, tangling his fingers with the soft curls. Harry lets out a sinful moan as he
tugs slightly, his fingers pumping inside him still, stretching his tight hole, getting it ready to take
him again.
When he seems to deem Louis ready he extracts his fingers, causing him to let out a whimper,
mourning the loss of Harry inside him. Harry bends over him slightly, reaching for the condom
hed placed next to his head, but in a split decision Louis reaches out, catches his wrist and stops
him.
No, he shakes his head as best he can, resting amongst an army of pillows. He looks deeply into
Harrys eyes, thumb drawing small circles over his wrist. I wanna feel you, wanna feel all of
you.
Harry looks stunned at Louis words, like he had never even considered it a possibility. Lou
he gets out, sounding almost strangled.
Only if you want to, of course, Louis rushes out, not wanting to ever force him to do anything
he doesnt want to. I just fuck, Haz, I wanna feel you, want you to come inside of me, baby.
God, Harry breathes out, tucking his head into the juncture between Louis shoulder and neck,
breathing in deeply. Fuck, Louis, I want that so much, but
We had that full medical check-up right before tour, love, were both clean. I mean unless
youve he trails off, unable to finish the sentence, because even if Harry did confirm that the
man was just a friend, that doesnt mean that he hasnt had a one night stand with some random
boy in a club or something, and
Fuck, no. Louis. I havent slept with anyone but you for like a year, dont wanna sleep with
anyone else ever again. Its with you, its like, love, I havent had sex this good with anyone
ever in my entire life, and even if you were a really shitty shag, which youre not, I would still
prefer you because its you.
Louis grins, oddly touched by his outburst. He decides that actions speak louder than words and
reaches for the bottle of lube, pouring a generous amount into his palm and reaching down to grab
Harrys cock. He lets out a mix of a gasp and a moan as Louis hand wraps around him, pumping
slowly and coating him in the cold lube. Its a slightly awkward angle, Harry still lying on top of
Louis, face tucked into his neck, and Louis is brushing his own dick with his knuckles every time
he strokes him. Its all he can do not to come right there. Its been a long time, its been much,
much too long since he felt Harrys hands on his naked skin, since he felt his soft lips, his hard
cock, the way his muscles ripple as he moves.
Yeah? Harry breathes, looking into Louis eyes intently, green vibrant and almost burning with
intensity as he raises himself over him, holding up his weight with his arms, hands planted on
either side of Louis head.
In lieu of an answer, Louis raises his legs, wrapping them around Harrys hips and digging his
heels into the soft flesh of his arse cheeks as he pushes Harrys pelvis closer to his. Yes.
Harry grins, smile wide and unabashed, as he bends down to kiss Louis hard, seeming like he
couldnt actually stop himself. If you insist, he murmurs against Louis lips, prompting a smile
from him, before lining himself up with Louis entrance. I havent he starts, before shrugging
slightly, looking sheepish, waiting to push inside Louis for some godforsaken reason he will never
understand. Ive never you know, without, before.
It tugs at Louis heart, the fact that he might not have been Harrys first, but hes Harrys first
something. And Harry is his. Me neither. Never met anyone I wanted to with before.
Harry looks at a loss for words, doesnt seem to know what to say, so instead he takes a hold of
his cock again and pushes inside Louis. It probably says more than he ever could with words
anyhow, their bodies saying things that could never be uttered in sentences that made sense.
And its indescribable really. Just wow.
There is no word, no sentence, no collection of syllables or sounds that could ever string together
into something that would be worthy of describing how it feels to have Harry push inside of him
without the latex barrier of a condom between them. If the way Harrys head is thrown back as he
bottoms out, eyes squeezed together and mouth open, is any indication of how he feels, its pretty
damn good for him too.
He stays still inside him, doesnt move for what feels like half a century, gasping for small breaths
of air.
Harry Louis breathes out, voice wretched and overwhelmed, and theyve barely started
shagging, but theres something about the thought of what theyre doing, of the fact that there's no
barrier between them that is so, so intimate. Theyre together in the most intimate way possible
and thats just overwhelming. Just so overwhelming.
Christ, fuck, Lou. God, you feelit feels, its shit. Louis. This is he lets out a load moan,
seeming unable to put his thoughts into words, but its okay because Louis knows exactly what he
means, feels it too, feels how its too big, much too big to actually describe. Its love, is what it is.
Its love. Its the kind of love that rushes through your body, that clings to your skin, that lingers in
the air around them. Hes never felt this close to Harry before, feels almost like theyre just one
person, like they could melt together and never separate again, like they could take up residence
within each other.
When Louis had been younger hed never understood the appeal of staying with just one person
for the rest of his life, couldnt understand why youd want to tie yourself down, limit yourself to
just one person. He couldnt imagine one person that would be the kind of special and fascinating
thatd keep you interested for years and years. Hed grown out of it rather quickly, had moved on
to wanting that kind of connections to someone, but also found it much, much too unrealistic. A
fairy tale dream. His own parents hadnt even lasted two weeks for crying out loud. His mum and
Mark lasted longer, granted, but it was so bad by the end of it, Louis couldnt imagine how it
would ever be possible to stay with the same person for the rest of ones life. Hed seen his mum
and Mark fall in love, had seen how much they cared for each other and had seen it all fall apart,
had seen how thin the line between love and animosity could be.
Now though, with Harry, it's the kind of love and connection hed only thought existed in fanciful
dreams and nave minds. It was too much and not enough all at once. It was the fucking best and
also absolutely terrifying. It has the ability to keep him together, to keep him sated, and happy, and
fucking brilliant for the rest of his life, or it could absolutely break him. He kind of understands the
people who settle for mediocre, because it seems that the bigger, and better, and more important it
is, the more of yourself you give to the other person, the bigger the risk of it all, the less you will
have left of yourself if it ever were to go south.
Theyre doing this, theyre really doing this, God, Louis hopes so. They havent talked though,
they still havent talked, and shit, maybe theyre not really on the same page? Maybe theyre not,
and shit, if theyre not, if he's going to have to give up on Harry tomorrow no. Sod it all, no,
Louis doesnt think he would actually be able to.
Lou. Harry lets out with a pained moan above him. Fuck, Lou, I
Move, he manages to get out, skin feeling overheated and body skittish, impatient. You can
move.
Harry pulls out of him, as much as he can without slipping all the way out. It feels unbelievable,
like nothing Louis could ever have imagined. He arches his back, moans filthily as his head falls
to the side, eyes falling shut from pleasure. Hes got no control over his body, his reactions, no
control at all, and it would be so, so scary if not for the fact that Harrys the one affecting him like
this, and he has never, has never trusted anyone like he trusts him, cant think of anyone hed
rather put his life, his happiness, his heart, and his health in the hands of.
Oh, my God, Harry rasps as he pulls out again, rhythm slow. His fingers are digging into Louis
hips and he finds that he kind of hopes theyll leave behind bruises, some physical proof of what
theyre doing, of how much theyre giving to each other. Oh, God, Lou. Shit. Fuck. Love, you
feel so fucking good, love you so much, love you so, so much, Harry continues, words blending
together as he moves and pants and squeezes his eyes together, evidently every bit as affected as
Louis. All his earlier concerns fall away because theres no way, just no way that Harry doesnt
feel the same. Just no way.
Faster, Haz, he rasps out, raising his hips off the mattress to meet Harrys thrusts in an attempt to
hurry him along. Fuck, faster, harder. Love you. Fuck me harder, please, baby, please. His
babble turns into a string of incoherent sounds as Harry takes hold of his legs, lifting them to rest
against his shoulders, shifting the angle of his thrusts. Louis never thought he was athletic or
bendy enough to fold in on himself like this, but when Harry pushes inside and nails his prostate
straight on, he finds that hes very, very grateful that he apparently is.
Harry picks up his pace, slamming into Louis prostate again and again, manoeuvring his hand in
between them to take a hold of Louis leaking cock, stroking it in time with his thrusts.
Its almost too good. Almost too much. He feels it in every nerve of his body, feels how its
building up to an orgasm that could probably kill a lesser man. Hes beyond words, might even be
beyond human sounds. He feels like he could so easily just float away, might actually just raise his
body off the mattress if he just let himself go. Its scary and exhilarating and the best sex theyve
ever had.
When they come, they come together in unison, twin cries blending in harmony, shuddering
bodies and lungs gasping for air, gasping for something like sanity to return to them. Louis
stomach is painted in streaks of white like particularly abstract body paint, and Harrys come is
inside him. The sensation of him coming inside him is still at the forefront of his mind. He doesnt
think he could ever forget how it feels, doesnt think he will ever want to have sex with a condom
ever again if he can help it, cant fucking wait to get to do it the other way around, to get to push
inside Harry and feel him around him, skin to skin. Shit. Hes almost at the point where he could
go again, mentally at any rate.
He cant help but stare up at Harry in wonder, almost at a loss for words. His legs slip from his
shoulders, and the younger man slides out of him, body still looming over him. He feels like he
should say something, but the silence just stretches between them, growing longer and longer, and
there's really only one thing running in a loop inside his mind.
I love you.
He thinks that might say it all, and much more.
But then the strangest thing happens, because Harrys face just sort of crumples, and the next thing
Louis knows, he barely has time to register whats happening, and Harry is crying. Big fat tears
making their way down his cheeks, gravity pulling them from his skin, letting them fall down,
down, down until they splatter against Louis cheek.
Its an instinctive reaction, when Louis reaches up to curl his hands around Harry's ribs, pulling
him down on top of him and wrapping his arms around him so tightly it surely ought to bruise,
like Harrys crumbling in his arms and the tighter he squeezes, the more he can hold him together.
He doesnt know whats wrong, hasnt a clue, but the overwhelming need to protect Harry, to
make him feel better, to stop his tears, is almost unreal. He doesnt know what to do, doesnt
know how to help, is powerless to do anything but hold him close, stroke his back and mutter
nonsensical reassurances in his ear, waiting it out as Harry cries like his entire world has just come
crashing down around him.
Im sorry, Im sorry, he starts to mutter as the tears die down somewhat, turn into small sniffles
muffled by how Harrys pressed his head into Louis neck. If the situation was a little less grave,
he would have marvelled at how small Harry is capable of making himself in Louis arms, the vast
size difference taken into account, its really quite impressive. Time and a place for everything
though, right, and this is definitely neither. God Im sorry, Im sorry, fuck I feel like Im taking
advantage of you, shit. Like Ive been
What are you talking about? Louis interrupts him, suddenly infinite amounts more confused,
brows furrowing as he tries making sense of Harrys rambles.
Harry buries his head further into Louis skin, like hes afraid of meeting his eyes, and Louis only
holds him closer, arms tightening around him in an attempt to convey how there literally isnt a
single thing he could say to change Louis opinion of him, of the two of them.
You dont know everything, he says, and pulls back, Louis reluctantly releasing his grip on
Harrys body as he sits back further, putting more and more distance between himself and Louis.
You dont really know anything at all, shit there areLouis, there are things you deserve to
know, and I shouldnt I should have told you sooner, should have given you the opportunity to
make an informed decision, and Im sorry, I just you need to know. It might change everything,
and
Harry, Louis interrupts again warily, this time genuinely worried about what hes going to say.
Hes rarely seen Harry this distraught and its tearing him apart quite literally it feels like not
knowing why or how he can help. Youre scaring me, baby, what
Ive been in love with you since I was 16 years old. Harry rushes out, like getting the words out
faster might lessen the severity of them, might take away some of the impact.
Nothing follows his confession but silence.
Nothing but silence because because what is Louis even supposed to say? Since he was
sixteen? Since Harry was sixteen? Sixteen. Sixteen, thats thats since
Always, fuck, Im sorry, Lou. I cantI didnt mean to, I justIHe seems almost desperate
to explain himself, sounds distraught and sad, and Louis isnt angry, isnt angry at all, just
confused, just having a hard time wrapping his mind around what Harrys saying, having a hard
time processing it all. Im sorry, he says again, like he actually has something to apologise for.
Im so sorry, Louis, please just please just say something. Just tell me I havent ruined
everything, tell me we can still make it work, please.
The sheer desperation in Harrys voice pulls him out of his thoughts, because even as hes trying
to wrap his head around the fucking bombshell Harry just dropped, it never for a second occurred
to him to break it off with him, to stop what theyre doing. He doesnt understand at all why Harry
thinks he might want to, but apparently he hasnt really understood anything these past seven
years, so its really no surprise.
He reaches out to take Harrys hands between his, pulling them to his lips and kissing them,
seeing how Harrys shoulders visibly deflate from where hes sitting across from him. I love
you. Louis states quietly, reaching up to wipe away the new tear that makes its way down
Harrys cheek. Of course you havent ruined anything, baby, Im just trying to understand. Im
just confused. Cmere, he holds out his arms, and has barely uttered the words until Harry crawls
into his embrace, pressing himself against him and holding on tightly to the point where it almost
borders on uncomfortable. Tell me from the beginning, sunshine. Just- Just help me understand,
yeah?
God, I dont Harry starts, tightening his hold on Louis, like hes afraid hell leave if he lets
him go. I dont know where to start, I just I dont want you to feel like I took advantage of
you, or like I manipulated you into falling in love with me, that was never my intention, I didnt
I
Harry, no. Louis interrupts him firmly, voice leaving no room for argument, because no. Just no.
He knows, without a shadow of a doubt, that his love for Harry wasnt something he was
manipulated into, wasnt something that just happened overnight, not even something that has
come within the last few months since they started their charade. Its been there all along, since the
beginning, and Louis has been so laughably out of touch with his feelings, but theres really not
even an ounce of doubt in him; loving Harry, being in love with Harry, thats how hes felt all
along. Theres really nothing that has changed, except for the fact that hes a hell of a lot more
honest with himself now. Sure the love has evolved, has grown deeper, and stronger, and more
intricate as Louis has gotten to know Harry better, just like he knows it will continue to grow, and
evolve, and strengthen even more with time. Every second of every day he falls a little bit more in
love with the wonderful man currently curled up in his embrace, smelling like green apples and
fresh air and all things good in life.
Harry, he picks up again, twisting his face to a slightly awkward and uncomfortable angle to
place a kiss high on his cheekbone which is still wet and marked by tear tracks, leaving behind salt
where they dry. I love you. Not because weve been pretending to be a couple for the last six
months, not because weve been living together and kissing, and shagging, but because youre
you. Because youre the best person Ive ever met, because you make me the best version of me
there is. Because my life was better the second you entered it, and with every second I spend
without you the world becomes a little more grey. Because every time something big happens
youre the one I want to share it with. Because you are the best part of my life. I didnt know until
I knew, Harry, but it was always there. Its not new, its not something that developed over the last
few months. Its just not. Its been there all along, even if it took me so, so long to realise and
acknowledge it. And for that, love, Im sorry. So sorry.
I fell in love with you when I was sixteen, like from the second I saw you in that bathroom I was
just just so bloody gone for you, had lost out to my feelings before the battle had even started
really. And well, with every second Ive spent with you since its only intensified. Ive spent
seven years being madly in love with you, knowing, thinking, that I could never actually have
you, that you would never see me as anything more than a mate, and I he shakes his head,
Louis feeling the motion against his naked chest, and he feels awful, feels so awful for everything
hes put Harry through, feels awful for all the years theyve lost, all the years they could have had
together, and he vows to spend the rest of his life trying to make it up to him.
Hes got drying come on his stomach and a boy with too long limbs in his arms, and he swears
that hes going to devote his life to making Harry happy. He thinks it might be the noblest goal
one could have in life. If all he has to do is love and care for him, it also sounds like the easiest.
Hey, he murmurs, pressing kisses into Harrys curls. Lets sleep, love. Lets sleep and talk
about all this tomorrow, yeah?
It takes Harry a beat to answer, but then he nods. Yeah, okay, he extracts himself slightly from
Louis, pulling back to look him in the eyes. He looks timid and unsure still, and Louis wants
nothing more than to eradicate those feelings from him forever. Crying has turned his eyes a
striking green, and and Louis is just so, so in love with him.
He lies down on his side and pulls at Harry to lie down next to him facing him, wrapping his legs
and arms around the younger man, naked skin against naked skin.
Running a hand through Harrys curls gently, he catches Harrys eyes, sees how his lids are
already threatening to drop, jetlag and the days events taking their toll on him. This is what you
want, right? Louis cant help but question, needing to be one hundred percent sure.
More than anything.


When Louis wakes up the next morning hes met with a pair of green eyes, watching him
tentatively, his body intertwined with Harrys familiar one. A smile breaks out on his face of its
own volition, and he lifts his hand to trace his thumb down the side of Harrys face. Morning,
cutie.
A smile breaks out on Harrys face, almost too large for his face, like its threatening to split it in
multiple pieces, like its almost painful. His face is swollen from sleep, his curls ruffled and
pressed flat on one side, but Louis thinks he might possibly never have looked more gorgeous. He
wants to wake up next to Harry, limbs tangled together like a game of twister gone wrong, every
day for the rest of his life.
Very good morning. Harry confirms, and leans in to kiss Louis good morning. Morning breath
be damned, Louis thinks, yes definitely. He pulls back and hesitates slightly, a small frown
forming on his face. Im sorry about last night, Lou, I just I just got a little overwhelmed, I
think. I mean, itsit was a bit surreal for me, I guess, basically my biggest dream come true.
Louis shakes his head, drawing him in for another chaste kiss. Dont worry about it, love. Harry
turns slightly so that hes lying on his back, looking up at the ceiling, his right hand holding
Louis. Louis pulls his hand closer to him, intent on playing with his big hand and long fingers for
a bit before they have to get out of bed and face the serious stuff theyve been putting off, when he
sees the tattoo. He cant help but run his thumb over the words inked into Harrys wrist.
I just want it to be you and I forever
And suddenly its clear as day to him. He looks up at Harry, meeting the younger mans gaze,
knows that recognition is painted across his face.
For me?
Harry closes his eyes for several seconds, and Louis tightens his hold on his wrist unconsciously.
When Harry opens his eyes again, he scoots closer, so impossibly close that Louis doesnt think
they could get any closer without crawling into each others skin. He kind of wants to do that, he
finds, creepy as it sounds. Its just. Well. He doesnt really think theres such a thing as too close
to Harry. Now that they finally have each other, its like hes starving for Harrys touch all the
time, like he needs to be in physical contact to actually survive, and the closer he can get, the
better.
Always for you. Harry finally mutters, his face so close to Louis that he feels the small puffs of
air that leave his lips as he speaks.
Its simultaneously the most heart warming and heart breaking words hes ever heard uttered, and
hes hardly surprised when a single tear makes it way down his cheek. Harry moves his hand to
wipe it away, brushing his thumb underneath his eye to catch it.
I always thought I would have to settle eventually. Harry confesses after another moment of
silence, words whispered, and hes apparently hell bent on keeping Louis crying. And it always
seemed so unfair to whoever Id end up with, because I always knew that I would never come to
love anyone like I love you. So Id have to settle or end up alone, really.
And its then, with those words, that it just it just hits Louis with the force of a tsunami washing
onto the shore, just how much Harry loves him. That the other man is consumed by the same
overpowering, unbelievable love that Louis is. And its not that he didnt believe it before, its not
that he's doubted Harry when hes told him, its not really anything its justits perhaps the
first time that Louis really understands.
I love you so much, he tells Harry, voice choked up with the strength of his emotions, with his
absolute need for Harry to understand how very, very much he means these words. I love you so,
so much. I dont know how youve come to love me like this, I certainly dont deserve it, and
there are so many people out there who are much better than me. If anything, youre the one
settling for me. Harry makes a noise of protest, but Louis shakes his head as best he can, lying on
his side, and cuts him off, pressing a finger to his lips. I dont know how I got this lucky to have
you love me, but Im not going to question it, Im just going to be so, so happy that you do.
Because I love you so much, Harry. So much. Im so in love with you.
Harry purses his lips, pressing a kiss to the finger still resting against them, keeping him silent.
Youre the love of my life, he tells Louis, words calm, a stark contrast to the palette of different
emotions to be found in his eyes, bottom lashes wet like hes trying to hold back his own tears.
Yeah, Louis breathes, placing his lips on the warm skin of Harrys chest, pressing a kiss to the
smallest of his birds. He draws back slightly and places his head on Harrys chest. And youre
mine, he whispers, because its the truth, its the most honest truth hes ever spoken.
He traces the lines of the bigger bird with his fingers, something he once read coming back to him,
and he cant help but chuckle. You know, he says, trying to take away a bit of the tension
clinging to their repeated confessions of love, tainting the air with a seriousness that Louis
definitely doesnt appreciate this early in the morning. They have so much serious talking to do
later that he needs to lighten the mood now. I read this thing once like, the fans have this mad
theory about these, he swipes his thumb over the bird again, That theyre you and me, right?
And he expects Harry to laugh, to shake his head at the silly conspiracy theories their fans cooked
up back when they were just friends, but instead Harrys silent for the beat of a moment, then,
Not so mad he mutters quietly, almost so quietly that Louis doesnt hear, even though theyre
practically as close as is humanly possible.
In shock, Louis sits up slightly as the words register, holding up his weight with his arm as he lies
sideways, peering down at Harry, his messy hair falling into his eyes. What? he asks, words
perhaps coming out harsher than he meant for them to, because, fuck, hes just surprised. What the
fuck? He sees it in Harrys eyes then, the fear, and he knows that Harry still isnt quite over
everything how could he be when it hasnt even been twenty-four hours that he still feels
insecure about how much and how long hes loved Louis. God, Harry should never have reason
to look at him like that, like hes afraid how Louis will react to something hell confess, not if
Louis has a say in it. He bends forward quickly, kissing Harry square on the mouth, the hand not
being used to hold up his weight moving to cup his cheek. What? he asks again, this time softer,
as he strokes his thumb underneath Harrys eye.
Birds dont have eyebrows, Lou. Harry states, like that explains everything, except the only
thing it serves to do is make Louis even more confused.
I dont... what?
They are us. And I dont know maybe its really awful to have gotten a tattoo on my body that
represented you and not even telling you, but
No, Harry, Louis shakes his head, overwhelmed and so so flattered, really. No, not at all,
baby. Tell me about it, tell me why.
Id just I guess Id kind of come to the realisation and the acceptance that I was in love with
you, and it wasnt about to change anytime soon well, ever really. And youd had that big
epiphany about your sexuality ages ago, but but, like, we were still best mates, and... I guess Id
also finally come to accept that you werent suddenly going to fall in love with me too, but he
pauses again, like hes only able to get out so many words before he needs to start over, try again.
But how I felt about youhow I feel about you, its its so big, Louis. Its likelike I still
cant quite believe you can feel like this about another person, and I just needed something to
symbolise that. I just needed even though I knew you didnt feel the same, I just needed some
sort of token of how I felt for you becausebecause its just
The most beautiful thing. Louis finishes for him, after Harrys tailed off, seeming unable to find
the right words. He understands, understand so, so well, because its exactly how he feels about
Harry.
Yeah. Harry breathes out, hand coming up to rest against Louis neck, stroking over his pulse
point.
For me too, Harry. He sits up properly then, to get a clear look at both of the birds. Theyre
beautiful, hes always thought so, but theyve never made his heart swell quite like they are now
before. Which ones me then? he asks, even though hes already got a pretty good inkling.
Smaller one, Harry smiles, moving his thumb across it like hes caressing it, and Louis heart
threatens to burst with affection.
He grins and nods. Makes sense, I guess.
Hmm, Harry hums with a small smile. Curved eyebrows, too. He sits up more, moving his
hand to trace along Louis eyebrow. Which curves. Oh. He looks at Harrys, sees the straight line,
and looks down at the slightly bigger bird opposite the Louis one, sees the straight eyebrow there,
and he understands. Birds dont have eyebrows, alright.
The love banner then? He asks, because hes always kind of wondered. Surely Harry must have
known when he got it done, that hed be covering it up soon.
Seemed kind of symbolic, yeah? Me hiding my love? He shrugs, like its no big deal, but it
twists in Louis gut, reminds him of how much hurt hes caused Harry, of the fact that it took him
seven fucking years to figure his shit out. Seven years he could have spent with Harry like this.
God. He vows quietly to himself to spend the rest of his life making it up to Harry, never allowing
him for even a split second to doubt that Louis loves him more than he loves his own bloody life.
Please dont ever hide it again. He whispers, rolling on top of Harry and burying into him,
seeking contact with every inch of his skin.
Harry tightens his arms around Louis body and plants a kiss on top of his head. Never, he
breathes into Louis hair, just loud enough for him to hear it. It feels like a promise.

They dont speak much after this, just holding each other close in bed, revelling in the closeness
they feel, until both their stomachs are rumbling in harmony, and Louis finally doesnt feel like he
can put off a shower any longer, very much aware of the fact that hes still got Harrys come
inside of him.
Harry tilts his head down to place a kiss on the corner of Louis mouth, before rolling them gently
so that Louis is below him. He kisses him again, this time on the mouth, before drawing all the
way back. He swings his legs over the side of the bed, and stretches his back as he sits, leaving
Louis completely entranced by the way his muscles ripple as he moves.
Go take a shower, babe, Ill order room service, he says, as he finally stands all the way up, in
all of his naked glory. Louis can do nothing but watch him.
Will you come join me then? He finally gets out, eyes surely crinkling as he smiles up at Harry,
atat his boyfriend? Fuck, he really hopes thats what Harry is now. Hell add it to the long list of
things they need to talk about. And then we talk. He tacks on for good measure.
things they need to talk about. And then we talk. He tacks on for good measure.
Harry smiles at him crookedly. In the shower? You wanna talk in the shower?
He rolls his eyes, sitting up properly in bed, the duvet pooling around his waist, leaving his torso
bare and exposed. He doesnt miss the way Harrys eyes flicker down. After, you tosser.
Harrys grin widens, and he crawls across the bed to capture Louis lips, tongue running over his
bottom lip teasingly before pulling back. I will absolutely be joining you in the shower.
Louis only just manages to hold back a groan. Instead, he leans in again, pecking Harry chastely
on the mouth. Good, he mutters against his lips, before drawing back and getting out of bed. Its
the first time hes stood up since Harry had come inside him last night, and he can feel how hes
still loose and pliant, how Harry could maybe slip right in for round two with no problem. He
feels it as he walks towards the bathroom door, perhaps swaying his hips a little more than he
usually would, because he knows that Harry is watching, feels how a few drops of Harrys come
trickle out of his hole and down the insides of his thighs. He feels like he belongs to Harry, and
while Louis values his freedom and individuality and shit, none of those are mutually exclusive
with belonging to Harry, and he finds that he hopes this feeling will stay, will linger for the rest of
his life on earth, because he never wants to go back to how he felt only a day ago.
He could swear he hears Harry swear quietly as Louis enters the bathroom, leaving the door ajar,
and he suspects his bum might have had something to do with that. He feels like hes just been
made king of the fucking world.
He turns on the shower, waiting for it to reach the desired temperature before stepping inside.
When under the warm spray he closes his eyes, tipping his head as the water cascades down
around him, soaking his hair and falling down his body in droplets.
He doesnt hear Harry when he comes in, isnt alerted to his presence until he hears a soft 'fuck'.
Louis opens his eyes, instantly looking straight into Harrys, and for a few seconds theyre just
looking at each other, the glass door of the shower separating them. Then Harry takes a step
closer, slides it open, and steps inside the shower.
Fuck, Lou, he repeats, stepping closer to him, his hand coming up to cup Louis cheek, thumb
grazing along his bottom lip. Youre so beautiful. Youre a fucking vision, baby.
Louis heart skips a beat, it feels like. He feels warm and tingly and and loved. He feels loved.
He feels so, so loved. People have complimented him before, thousands upon thousands of people
have complimented him, its a part of their industry after all. Hell, Harry has complimented him a
million times before, but hes never really hes never really believed it like this before. Not
like... Louis knows that he isnt exactly hard on the eyes, knows hes good looking, but hes never
felt beautiful like this before, like Harry isnt just complimenting his looks, but his very person.
Like Harry is saying that Louis is beautiful.
I love you. He tells him, because no words feel like theyre enough, but these three ones seem to
get the closest to it. Both his hands come up to cup Harrys hips before sneaking around him and
pulling him closer, head pressed into the space where his neck meets his shoulder, water falling
around them like warm, warm rain. Shit, Haz, I know that Ive said it a million times already and
it hasnt even been 24 hours, but I love you. So much.
Harry laughs into his hair, holding him closer. You say that like you think I mind. I hope youll
tell me many, many times every day for a really fucking long time.
Forever? He cant help but question, tilting his head up to look at him.
Forever sounds pretty nice to me, yeah, Harry answers with a smile, and then like flicking a
switch his expression changes, taking on a worried edge when he nibbles at his bottom lip with his
teeth. Its like hes afraid Louis wouldnt want exactly that. He suddenly remembers that they
havent talked about this, havent talked about much except the fact that Harry has apparently
been in love with him for seven fucking years, Jesus Christ. Louis almost feels faint.
Me too. He says in lieu of a better response, heart beating a million beats a minute, feels a bit
like its got a life of its own, like any minute it might just beat straight out of his body.
Cant believe I get to have you. Harry whispers then, awestruck, voice barely audible over the
sound of the shower. That youre he trails off, like hes not sure hes allowed to finish the
sentence, though they both know which word now hangs in the air between them.
Yours. Louis finishes, confidently. Im yours. And its maybe a little silly, because theres still
so much left for them to sort out, and yet here they are giving each other their hearts, but they love
each other, and surely thats the most important part. Everything else they can sort out afterwards.
Mine. Harry says, uttering the word like hes almost tasting it. And me Im yours too.
Louis nods, because he knows, he understands. He leans forward a bit, placing his lips against the
warm, wet skin of Harrys chest, right over where his heart is beating, protected by flesh and ribs.
He can feel the beat reverberate through his lips. Mine. He says, like tattooing the words onto
Harrys skin.


When they finally get out of the shower, skin damp and bodies loose, theres a trolley with their
breakfast waiting outside their door and it hits Louis that this is it. The cards are about to be put on
the table, theyre about to talk everything through, and and its scary. Not because it can go
wrong, because he feels so settled in this thing with Harry, has never felt so content before in his
life, has never felt like anything was this right. He knows theyre on the same page, perhaps not
about big things like marriage, and kids, and their opinions of people carriers, of wooden fences
and golden retrievers, but thats all negotiable. They love each other, though, they both want an
actual honest to god relationship, and thats really the most important part.
He cant believe, he thinks as he slips on a pair of briefs and one of Harrys massive jumpers,
seeing out of the corner of his eyes Harry slipping on a pair of briefs of his own, that they could
have had this all along if only theyd just been honest with each other, if only theyd been better at
communicating. Never again, he vows silently, never again. From now on theyre going to be
honest with each other, going to tell each other everything. Yes.
They end up sitting down on the sofa to eat breakfast, Harry flicking on the TV for some
background noise as they eat the eggs and fruit he called for. When he feels full, Louis cant help
but tilt sideways slightly, and rest his head on Harrys shoulder, turning his head slightly to kiss his
the ship tattooed on his bicep. Harrys only wearing briefs, his torso left naked, and Louis revels in
the heat radiating off his soft skin, feels so lucky and blessed that this is his to touch and hold and
love for hopefully a really fucking long time.
When Harrys done eating, he places his plate next to Louis on the small coffee table in front of
them, and turns around to face him. Louis offers him a small smile, before making the executive
decision that they need to get closer, closer, closer to each other, and climbs into his lap,
rearranging their limbs until hes satisfied that theyre both comfortable. He cuddles into him,
placing chaste kisses on his neck as he feels his arms come around and hold him close.
I wanna be sure were on the same page, darling, Louis says after a few moments pause. This
is like, this is for the long run, right? Like exclusive, actual boyfriends, hopefully no expiration
date ever?
Harry pulls his head back slightly, just enough to obtain eye contact with him. I wasnt kidding
when I said forever, Lou. Ive been in love with you for seven years when you werent actually
anything but my best friend; Ive long since come to terms with the fact that it is never going to
change. Its definitely, definitely not going to change now that were actually together.
Do you Louis starts, insecurity washing through his body like a tidal wave of unpleasantness.
He takes a deep breath, because this thought honestly hadnt occurred to him before now, but now
that it has he feels a little bit like being sick. Do you think maybe youve put me a little bit on a
pedestal? Like, Im not Im not really that great, Haz. How do you know its not just this
fantasy version of me that youve cooked up that youve fallen in love with, and the real me will
just pale in comparison, will be nothing like youd hoped for
Lou Harry starts, eye twinkling and looking very much like hes trying to hold back a smile.
Failing miserably, too. Wanker. Dont be silly. I know you, I know what it is Im getting and
what it is I want. And those two very much correspond, trust me. Very much. And sweetheart,
Ive basically been in a relationship with you for the past six months, I know what its like waking
up next to you every morning, and cooking you breakfast. I know when you want to be cuddled,
and when its better I just leave you alone. I know how you prefer to be touched, and that you
cant for the life of you seem to remember to rinse the sink for toothpaste after youve brushed
your teeth. I dont have unrealistic expectations of what you'll be like, of what a relationship with
you will be like, I just know that Im always so much happier when Im with you, that your
presence settles something in me, makes even the worst of times so, so much better. Its notlike,
I know were going to fight, I know there will be rough patches, and nights on the sofa, and times
where we can probably hardly stand each other, butI want those times too, Louis, as long as
theyre with you.
Louis nods, heart beating a mile a minute, and he feels tears in the corner of his eyes, threatening
to spill. He blinks them back, determined now not to cry. Harry, were not doing this again, he
says firmly, and then hurries to clarify when he sees Harry recoil slightly at his words. I mean,
were not going to be this shit at communicating again. We gotta talk to each other from now on,
tell each other how we feel. No running, Haz, no fucking off to LA without telling me, no
ignoring me, or avoiding me, or not answering my texts and letting me find out where you are
through pap pics and Sugarscape, I cant do that again, I
Im sorry, Lou. Harry interrupts, voice timid, barely above a whisper. Im so sorry, I just I
was just so fucking hurt, it wasnt rational at all, it wasnt thought through or anything, I just... I
needed to get away. You broke my heart in that meeting, Lou, and I needed to get away before I
crumbled completely, and everything in London reminded me of you. Even my house in LA did,
so I ended up staying with a friend. Youre such youre the biggest part of my life, the most
important, but I dont think Id really realised how much of it youd wormed your way into until
every reminder of you felt like a knife through my heart. And you were just everywhere.
I know Ive been so stupid about this, so fucking nave, but I just it felt real, you know? To me.
So much of the time, especially towards the end, it didnt feel like you were pretending at all,
right? So stupidly Id began to think that maybe I did have a chance, maybe you could come to
love me like I love you, and as time progressed I think I just, like, I just sort of thought maybe it
was becoming real, but we just werent ready to talk about it, and I was too much of a coward to
confront you about everything I guess I was afraid of being rejected and of what youd do if you
found out how I felt about you, and you didnt feel the same. And then I sort of convinced myself
that surely you couldnt be that good of an actor, and that you had to be feeling something too, so
when you so easily sat there discussing how to put an end to everything, I just snapped. I thought
you knew by then, couldnt imagine how you still had no idea how I felt about you, when its so
glaringly obvious that even people Ive never even met can tell.
He draws in a big breath when hes done talking, the words having been rushed out in a speed
previously unfathomable coming from Harry. Louis needs several moments to understand, to
know where he should start, because Harrys just told him so much, so much information, and he
doesnt know what to address first, where to begin, just knows that he loves Harry so much.
It wasnt easy, is what he settles on starting on, and then clarifies, In that meeting. It wasnt
easy at all. I didnt he pauses, takes a deep breath, tries again, I wasnt I didnt know,
Harry. I didnt understand what I was feeling, I was so fucking confused, I just fuck, you
werent saying anything, Haz, and I was so confused, and all I knew was that I didnt want it to
end, didnt want it to end at all, but I didnt know how, or why, or fucking anything, I didnt
understand anything and you werent saying a word, and I just didnt know what to do. Im
sorry.
No, Harry shakes his head fiercely, grabbing Louis face between the palms of his hands,
holding it still in front of his. No, fuck, no, Lou Im sorry. God, I should have told you how I
felt before, I shouldnt just have expected you to get it, I shouldnt even have agreed to this whole
charade when I knew it meant so much more to me than it did to you, I should have been honest
with you years ago, I was just so so scared.
He looks up at Louis, sheepishly and offers him a half crooked smile. His eyes are twinkling, like
even despite the unpleasantness of their conversation, hes never been happier. Louis knows the
feeling. Were here now though, eh?
Louis nods, leans in to kiss Harry again, cant seem to get enough, might never get enough, might
die after a lifetime spent together, still craving the touch of Harrys lips against his own. We are.
Harry hums happily, nosing along Louis jaw and letting out a pleased sigh. You make me so
happy. He whispers, like its a secret, and Louis heart swells until it feels like it could burst, from
both adoration and love, but also regret and shame.
Ive hurt you so much, though, and Im so sorry, Hazza. For all those years, Im so sorry. I never
I didnt know. If Id only known, I
Harry cuts him off with a hard kiss. You make me so happy, he repeats, pronouncing the words
clearly, like it might help Louis understanding the words better. More than anyone else, more
than anything else. Im never happier than when I'm with you. Even when we werent together, I
would still pick you over anyone else. Yes, it hurt, of course it did, but it was always much better
than the alternative of not having you in my life at all. You make me the happiest bloke on the
planet.
Im still sorry. Louis states quietly, because he is, and he wants Harry to know. He melts into
Harrys embrace, holds him close, feels the heat of his warm, bare skin through the knit of his
jumper.
Harry holds him back, just as tightly. Im sorry too.


From then on the tour is better than Louis could ever have dreamed of, his life is better than he
could ever have dreamed of. If he thought being in a fake relationship with Harry had been great,
being in an actual adult relationship with him is fucking fantastic. Bigger, and better, and so much
more than he had ever thought it could possibly be. And the thing is, its still fun, theyre still
them, and its really just so, so good. They play pranks on the other boys and the crew, they go
out for dinner, holding each others hands without a care in the world who sees them. They
engage in such toe curling displays of PDA, Louis is honestly surprised there hasnt been angry
complaints sent in to The Sun and The Daily Mail, who continue to find it newsworthy enough to
print.
Its simultaneously different and then not at all, actually being with Harry. They were so close to
being an actual couple before that not much of their behaviour actually changed, its more that
well, now that they finally know theyre on the same page there is no touch too big, or too little, or
too intimate. Every touch is allowed, and its just like theyre more free now, theres no reason to
overthink, no reason to keep reminding themselves that its just pretend. Its real, its perhaps the
realest thing in Louis life, and its very, very much the best.
He revels in the fact that he can come up behind Harry and kiss his neck when hes speaking to a
crew member, or a fan, or a journalist. Or when hes just cooking dinner, utterly absorbed in
making the perfect sauce for the pasta hes cooking. He revels in the small kisses they cant help
but steal at every moment, the I love yous they utter several times a day, to the point where the
other boys have taken to rolling their eyes and exclaiming We know. You love him, he loves you,
everybody loves each other its brilliant.
Theyre happy for them, though, Louis knows. So happy. He doesnt think he will ever forget
Nialls face when hed shown up at his hotel door, probably looking wild and several degrees of
deranged, begging him to switch verses in Little Things to allow him to serenade Harry, with the
song he was recently told Harry had Ed write from listening to Harry talk about Louis. Seemed
almost poetic in hindsight. Niall hadnt needed two seconds to agree, had just pulled Louis into a
tight hug and called for the other two boys to meet him at the venue for rehearsals. Louis had been
so, so grateful he doesnt think he could ever thank him enough. Is still so, so grateful. Might have
to give him his firstborn or something, or just pay for a nice cruise for him and Barbara. Things to
ponder, he supposes.
They met up with them the day after for the next concert, arriving hand in hand, love marks
littering their bodies to the point where Lou had just sighed and given up on covering them up,
and seeing their three boys, their best friends, sitting side by side on the sofa as though theyd just
been waiting for them to enter, waiting with bated breath to hear how it all turned out, had
warmed something inside Louis. The fact that they cared so, so much for the happiness of him and
Harry. It was humbling, almost.
Theyd broken into cheers when theyd seen them enter, jumping up from the sofa to come
envelope them in a crushing group hug.
About damn time, Niall had said, shaking his head with a massive smile stretching his face.
Weve literally been waiting years for the two of you to get your shit together. Liam teased,
pulling Louis into a tight hug against his side.
Im so happy for you, Zayn had said quietly, pulling Harry in for a hug, Harrys head nestling in
the crook of his neck. Louis doesnt think Zayns words were meant for him to hear, though he
has no doubt Zayn was happy for him as well.
Thank you, Harry had whispered, and Louis had filled him in on his own realisation earlier, so
something tells him that Harry was thanking Zayn for more than just the words hed just uttered.
From the UK they continue to tour Europe after having a few days off. They do two concerts in
Oslo first and then move on to Stockholm, before reaching Copenhagen. Theyve got concerts on
the day before and after Harrys birthday, leaving the actual day free, originally to allow him to fly
home and spend his day with his family. Hed asked Louis though, shortly after theyd gotten
together, if maybe they could stay in Copenhagen and just spend the day together the two of them.
Louis hadnt needed to think twice before agreeing.
Theyd promised Anne to visit her for a few days next time they had an extended break, and the
same with Louis mum. Its not like they hadnt seen them recently anyway, theyd driven down
on a one day break they had between two UK gigs right after getting together, and surprised them
with a visit, wanting to tell them in person about the development of their relationship. He doesnt
think hes ever seen either of them happier than when they came knocking on their doors, hands
held, fingers intertwined.
Now Louis been saddled with planning a birthday day for Harry, even if the younger boy has
continuously reassured him that he doesnt need Louis to do anything special for him, that just
spending the day with him will be more than enough. Louis had gotten Paul to book them the
Royal suite instead of the usual suite theyd been in when previously staying in the hotel, and it
had been every bit worth it, when hed tugged at Harrys hand as the younger man had made to
turn in the same direction as the rest of the lads upon their arrival, only to lead him to the different
room.
As for the actual day, hed been struggling with finding the perfect balance between doing
something and just being together, enjoying each others company. The other boys have chosen to
stay behind as well, Niall having Barbara flown in to spend a few weeks of tour with them, and
Louis has arranged with them to have dinner and go clubbing afterwards to celebrate Harrys
twenty-three years.
The day, however, is just for the two of them, and after hes woken Harry up with an early
morning birthday blowjob, he orders them room service and hands Harry his birthday present.
Louis had had such a difficult time working out what to get him, because fact is that they pretty
much have everything, and anything they dont have, they could just go out and buy themselves.
Harry had done such a good job with Louis birthday present, and he just wanted to give Harry
something that mean as much to him as that trip had done to Louis.
The parcel doesnt look like anything special, isnt even all that big, just an inconspicuous square
box with a neat navy blue ribbon on top. He settles his arm around Harrys wait, pressing a
smiling kiss into his curls as Harry leans into him, turning his face in a silent request for a kiss.
Louis complies and presses their lips together before they both turn their attention back to the
parcel in Harrys hands.
He unties the bow carefully and lifts the lid off the box to see the set of keys lying on top of some
crumpled soft yellow tissue paper. He turns his head to look at Louis, face bearing the cutest
confused expression.
Keys? Harry questions, turning slightly to get a better look at Louis, while still maintaining their
bodily contact.
Louis merely smiles and produces his phone from his pocket, thumbing over the screen until hes
found what he wanted, and hands it to Harry.
Whats this, darling? He asks in confusion, once hes studied the pictured on Louis phone,
thumb swiping between the different ones.
Its our house, Louis explains, and then amends, Or, you know, our hut, or gigantic bungalow,
or something, Im not really sure what to call it if Im honest, H. Its your birthday present.
You bought me a house?
A hut-bungalow-vacation-house thing-y. Louis corrects with a grin. In, erm, in Thailand,
yeah? I thought we both would like to go back, so it would be nice to have something that was
ours there, right? Its on a different, more private island, so we can go away and enjoy the peace
and quiet just the two of us, or with whoever we choose to bring, and
Lou, Harry interrupts him, grinning. He swings his leg over Louis lap so that hes straddling
him, and bends down to place a quick kiss against his lips before drawing back and looking him in
the eyes. Its perfect, Lou. I cant believe youits too much, babe. Much too much. Youre too
good to me.
Louis shakes his head, drawing him in for another kiss and mumbles against his lips, Not
possible.
I love you. Harry just states in between kisses, and Louis still hasnt, probably never will, grown
tired of hearing those words coming from Harry.
Happy birthday, sunshine. He replies, running his hands under Harrys jumper, fingers moving
up and down his spine. I love you too.


They go out for lunch, Louis having gotten a recommendation for a nice, informal restaurant from
the hotel staff, and they take their time to stop to chat with fans outside the hotel, all of whom want
to wish Harry a happy birthday. Hes glowing. Harry is literally glowing, happiness radiating off
him in big waves, and Louis feels so, so proud that hes the reason behind it all. They walk
through the streets of Copenhagen hand in hand, caught in a bubble of their own.
After theyve eaten, Louis tugs Harry along with him, walking through the city, having his phone
guide him to their destination all while dodging Harrys attempts to wheedle where theyre going
out of him. When they get there, he has to take an extra look to make sure that hes in the right
place, before remembering that the staff member hed been emailing had warned him that it was
nothing like the ones youd heard about or seen in Paris or any of the bigger cities.
He tugs Harry with him, walking onto the bridge in front of them, huddling closer together as the
freezing air whirls around them.
Lou, what are we Harry starts, but cuts off when Louis pulls to a stop on the middle of the
bridge, and reaches into his pocket, holding out the content for Harry to take. Harry takes it with a
frown, clearly still confused. What He cuts himself off as he looks at the railing where Louis
indicated with a slight toss of his head. He must make the connection between the locks hanging
there and the one resting in his palm along with a black waterproof marker pen, because his mouth
forms a small o and he looks up at Louis in revelation.
Only if you want to, Louis hastens to reassure him, squeezing the hand now holding the items,
mourning the fact that the cold weather means that two gloves separate their skin on skin contact.
I mean, I know it doesnt really mean anything
It would mean something to me. Harry interrupts him, looking at him with this funny half smile,
before his eyes flicker down to the silver lock in his hand again.
Yeah, Louis visibly relaxes, the corners of his lips turning up into a small private smile. To me
too.
Harry looks up at him, grin blossoming on his face, and he bends down to kiss him quickly before
pulling off one glove with his teeth, and then the other, handing both of them to Louis for him to
hold while he takes off the lid of the pen and stands for a few moments contemplating what to
write. Finally he cradles the lock in his big hand as he scribbles something on it, fingers turning
red from the cold, and Louis quickly decides to treat his boy to a hot chocolate for the walk back
to the hotel.
With a small smile Harry takes his gloves from Louis and accepts his before handing him the lock
and sharpie. The wind is freezing, and his fingers feel stiff and frozen within seconds, but when he
sees what Harrys written on the lock his heart just about skips a beat, and it feels like hes
soaring. Nothing, not even cold as shit weather, can bring him down from his high now.
He leans over to kiss Harry, but its more like clicking teeth with him, because neither can contain
their toothy smiles, happiness bubbling in Louis stomach and flowing through his veins.
He takes the lid off the pen and adds his own contribution to the small lock. He takes just one
moment to admire their handiwork, their black handwriting standing stark against the shiny silver
of the lock, before handing it to Harry, silently prompting him to close it around the railing.
Harry does so, pulling out the keys and admiring the way it hangs next to the other locks, shining
silver in a sea of bronze, not yet battered by wind and weather like the rest of them. Louis pulls
out his phone to snap a picture, tweeting it quickly and taking a moment to admire his handiwork.
When he turns his attention back to Harry, hes looking down at the small set of keys nestled in
the middle of his palm, seeming almost tiny in comparison. Louis cuddles into his side, kissing the
corner of his mouth before looking back down at the set of keys.
Throw it.
Harry nods and closes his palm around the keys, before dropping a quick kiss on Louis lips, and
throwing the keys as far out as he can.
They watch as the tiny object soars through the sky, barely recognisable before it hits the water
and sinks to the bottom.
He hands Harry his gloves, sticking his own hands into his pair, and takes both of Harrys hands.
Well, guess thats it then, eh? No getting rid of me now, unless you fancy a little trip to the
bottom of the water there to retrieve those.
Harry shakes his head, grin wide. Fuck, youre ridiculous, Lou. Dont know why I love you.
He shrugs, unconcerned, in reply.Well, I dunno either, but I do love you silly amounts, so Im
quite happy you do.
Harry takes a step closer to him, smile small and kind of odd, but almost heartbreakingly sincere.
I love you because when I'm thinking about my future like I want it to be, I only see you. I see
you and a big house, and so many kids we could start our own football team. I see a dog and a
sensible car, and toys strewn throughout the house. I see you cursing in the morning when you
step on a piece of LEGO our eldest forgot to put away, and I see you playing footie with them in
our huge back garden, and I see family vacations and small getaways for the two of us when one
of our mums will watch the kids. I see myself falling more and more in love with you every day. I
see growing old together, waking up next to you, in your arms, every day until the day I die. I see
grandchildren andand just, I see forever Louis, and He hesitates for a moment, seeming
almost unable to get more words out, as he clutches Louis hands almost desperately.
Louis leans forward to peck him on his cold, red nose, and says fondly, with his own smile
threatening to break his face in two, Youre a sap.
Harrys grin stretches and he lets out a small laugh. Only for you. He throws back cheekily,
before hesitating. Then, Thats what I want though, Lou, and I know its not even been a full
month, but
Louis shakes his head, tilting it sideways slightly, his lips twitched into a funny smile. Its been
seven years, Curly.
Harry breathes out and nods, before burrowing further into Louis embrace. Louis tightens his
arms around him and they both turn to look out over the water, out to where the key to their lock
made ripples in the surface as it sunk down to the bottom, buried deep where itll never be found
again.
Louis never wants it to be.


When they get back to the hotel, Harry derails him when he makes to walk towards their suite,
pulling him instead towards a nondescript door with the words 'STAFF ONLY' printed on it. He
raises his eyebrows in question and Harry smiles sheepishly as he opens the door.
I got a member of staff to do me a favour, he explains, as they walk into what looks like a staff
lounge, not nearly as lavish as the room theyre staying in, nor the rest of the hotel. I wanted to
show you something, but I didnt want to disturb the guests in the dining room, and, like, it
seemed almost wrong to bring it into our room, you know? Louis doesnt really know,
considering the fact that he has no clue what hes talking about. So I talked to a member of staff,
and she said shes put one in here I could use. He nods in the direction of the wall, and right there
sitting on top of a long table is a silver keyboard.
Harry sits down at the bench in front of it, smiling up at Louis with twinkling eyes. Hes a vision,
really, curls peeking out from his burgundy marl beanie hes wearing, cheeks and nose flushed red
from the cold, lips pink and chapped, but still so, so kissable; so, so tempting.
Ive been practising. He grins at Louis, shedding first his gloves and scarf, then his expensive
coat, and at last the beanie. He flexes his fingers with a mischievous grin sent in Louis direction,
before putting his fingers to the keys.
He plays the opening bars of Little Things beautifully, but he hasnt even reached the second line
of the first verse before he messes up, swears, frustrated, and peers up at Louis with a pout on his
face. Im usually better than this, youre making me nervous.
Louis cant help but let out a small laugh because Harry just looks so damn cute. He bends down
and kisses the pout off Harrys face. Budge over, he says when he pulls back. Ill teach you,
yeah? Youve almost got it, darling.
He nods and makes space for Louis on the bench before putting his fingers to the keys and trying
again. They spend the next half an hour going through the song, and Harry improves steadily to
the point where he almost has the verse down as well. Hes never going to be a master pianist,
obviously, but hes so bloody adorable in his concentration. Louis gets up from the bench and
pulls out his phone, snapping a quick photo of Harry before tweeting once again.
Harry looks up at him with a smile. Let me just try one more time, and we can go up and get
ready for dinner, yeah?
Louis nods with a smile, Of course, love.
And as he plays the opening bars and the first verse, stopping several times to adjust his fingers
before continuing, and being all around just really terrible, Louis is hit with so much fondness he
nearly keels over. He cant believe this is his life now, that he ended up being this lucky, that the
boy sitting across from him, trying to learn how to play the song he had had written for Louis, the
one Louis used to confess his love, is his. That theyre each others'. Theyve not even been a
proper couple for a month, but its still been the very, very best time of Louis life, and if its any
indication of how the rest of their years together will be, well, Louis is perhaps the most blessed
man to ever breathe on this planet.


When Harrys getting ready in their bathroom twenty minutes later, Louis grabs his phone to
check the time, and sees that Harry tweeted something only five minutes ago. With a small smile
he wouldnt even be able to hold back if he tried, he thumbs it open.
Louis grins, heart fluttering. He just loves how fucking clever Harry is with his words and his
puns. He makes his way into the bathroom to his boy, catching Harrys eyes in the mirror with a
fond smile. He holds up his phone for Harry to see, giving it a small shake, before walking up
behind him, draping his arms around his torso and kissing his shoulder.
I love you too.
Chapter End Notes
I hope you liked the ending? Let me know what you think - it'd mean so much.
If you need more And Then a Bit, check out the character asks, or send some of your
own if there's something you're curious about.
It'd also mean a lot if you'd reblog the masterpost for the fic. Or just come say hi on
tumblr.
The EPILOGUE will follow as soon as it's finished. Thanks for everything.
Much love,
Heidi xxxx
EPILOGUE
Chapter Notes
Today it is precisely three months since I uploaded the first chapter. That seems
almost poetic. I hope you enjoy the end!
x
See the end of the chapter for more notes
And after all this time,
You're still the one I love
Looks like we made it
Look how far we've come my baby
We're still together still going strong
(Shania Twain Still the One)
EPILOGUE:
Harry wakes up an hour before their alarm is set to go off, and he can instantly tell that something
is wrong. Or, well, not wrong per se, more like not how he prefers it. The space in the bed next to
him is empty, his arms, which had been wrapped around Louis, holding him close when they
went to sleep the night before, are now cradling nothing but air. Its rare that they wake up to an
empty bed nowadays, though it has been happening more frequently since Oliver started teething.
He supposes thats probably where he can find his husband.
Louis side of the bed is still warm at any rate, so he cant have been up long. Harry resigns
himself to getting up, knows that hes not going to fall back asleep now that hes woken up,
particularly not when he doesnt have Louis warm body to cuddle closer to and drift off with
again, doesnt have the steady beat of his heart to be felt under his palm like Harrys very own
personal lullaby.
Its perhaps a little bit ridiculous, and a lot pathetic, but in the last coming on fifteen years that hes
been in an actual relationship with Louis, neither of them have gotten much better at sleeping
alone. Luckily, its rarely a necessity.
He stretches his body while still lying down, trying to rid himself of the last bits of drowsiness. His
back pops a bit, one of the many reminders that hes closer to forty than thirty. He sits up and
swings his legs over the edge of the bed, yawning a bit before getting on his feet, wincing slightly
when his bare toes make contact with the cool floorboards, and finds a pair of clean boxers to slip
on.
He makes his way down the hallway towards Olivers room, peeking into the other three rooms
on his way there, only to find that theyre all still sleeping.
Its an early Sunday morning, they have no plans except for a Skype call with Liam at nine, which
was the whole reason for setting an alarm during the weekend in the first place. Its an early
Sunday morning, his kids are sleeping safe, healthy, and happy in their beds, his husband is
cradling their youngest in his arms, singing softly to get him to stop fussing, and Harry quite
literally cant imagine a life better than the one hes living, than the one hes been living the last
decade and a half.
He stands in the doorway of the babys room, watching Louis who is swaying gently, his back
turned to Harry, while singing one of the many love songs he has written for and about Harry over
the years. Hes an absolute vision to behold, even from behind, age having only made him so, so
much better in Harrys humble opinion, like a particularly fine bottle of wine. Hes also only
wearing boxers, the two of them having discovered together, barely weeks after having brought
Oliver home from the hospital, that the most effective way of getting him to settle down, stop
fussing, even go to sleep, was skin to skin contact.
He allows himself to admire Louis a few moments more, before moving into the room, letting his
presence be known by wrapping an arm around him from behind, placing a kiss on his naked
shoulder. Hes soft, and solid, and warm, and Harry revels in the contact between his chest and
Louis back, doesnt think he can ever get enough of it, still hasnt overcome the constant need to
touch, touch, touch always touch, never be far away.
Louis stops singing, humming softly in acknowledgement of Harrys arrival. He tilts his head
backwards, resting it on Harrys shoulder, and turns slightly, offering up his lips for Harry to bend
down and kiss. He pecks Louis lips twice in quick succession, and then a last time, lingering
longer and sucking Louis bottom lip in between his.
Louis lets out a content sigh and Harry pulls back, kissing him one last time high on his cheek, just
below his eye. He moves his hand from where its been resting on Louis stomach to rest on top of
Louis own where its spread across Olivers back. Peeking over his shoulder, he can see that he
has fallen back asleep, and he takes a small step away from Louis as he places him back in his cot.
Louis turns to him when hes checked that their son is still sleeping and comfortable, having
Louis turns to him when hes checked that their son is still sleeping and comfortable, having
draped the small blanket over him. He takes a step closer and Harry opens his arms to welcome
him, drawing him in close with a kiss before swaying gently together, Louis head resting against
his shoulder.
Heyyyy, Louis says, drawing his head back to be able to look at him properly. What are you
doing up, love? You were supposed to have a lie in.
Harry smiles back at him, matching the softness in Louis face. Dont really sleep that well
without you next to me, do I? Theyre whispering, so as to not wake up Oliver again, and Harry
supposes itd probably be easier to just leave the room and be able to talk at a normal volume, but
he really quite likes standing here with Louis, and moving sounds like a very taxing activity.
Louis gets up on his tip toes and presses his lips against his in a lingering kiss, before drawing
back, taking a step back, and leading Harry out of the room by his hands. Harry just follows. Of
course he follows, would never even consider not following, would follow Louis to the end of the
Earth, into anything and everything. He feels fearless, invincible with Louis by his side, like
together they could fight through anything, weather any storm.
He leads them into their bedroom, crawling under the covers again, and Harry follows, because of
course he does, what else should he do? When hes snuggled under the duvet, Louis scoots closer
to him and they intertwine their legs, and then their hands. Its a bit, a lot, ridiculous, really, how
affectionate, andand needy they still are, but he just he just loves Louis so, so much. Every bit
as much as when they got together and much, much more. And it works for them, it really, really
does.
He knows Louis, better than he knows himself almost, now, knows him so much better, so much
more intimately than he did when they were just best friends, and its strange in a way, because
hed really thought that he knew everything there was to know about the other lad. But there was
still so much between them they hadnt addressed, still layers of themselves they hadnt given the
other access to in the name of self-preservation. Theres none of that now. They kept true to the
promise theyd made to each other all those years ago no more secrets. Communication.
Wanna go back to sleep, love? Louis asks, breaking Harry out of his thoughts. He smiles softly
at his husband and scoots even closer to him, as close as he can possibly get, naked skin against
naked skin, the only thing between them is their boxers.
Nah, he says, kissing along Louis collarbone, no purpose with it except for creating contact
between his lips and Louis skin. Only thirty minutes till we have to be up again. Can we just
cuddle?
He feels Louis press a kiss to the top of his head, face nestled in his curls, and he smiles into the
crook of his neck because he literally cant help it. Of course, lovely. Louis replies, and Harry
tightens his arms around him as he feels his hands trace patterns on his back. What time is Liam
calling?
Nine, so we should probably have the kids up and fed by then if they wanna talk with him as
well.
Hmm, Louis hums in agreement. Luke will definitely want to
And Freya will want to when Lucas wants to
Yeah, I think hell want to talk to them anyway, he hardly gets to see them with how much time
he spends in LA. Do we have any other plans today?
Harry nods, and he knows Louis can feel it even though he cant see his face. Freya is going to
Nina from her class birthday party later. Zayn and Perrie are picking her up on their way to drop
Mila off there.
Right, and Luke?
Dont think he has anything, no, though something might come up knowing him.
Well, Papa, he cant see it, but he knows Louis is grinning right now, Its a busy thing, being
eleven.
Oh, absolutely, Harry answers, voice dry. Hes a right little social butterfly, that one.
Yeah, well, honestly I think he gets that from you, love right little charmer you were.
Youre one to talk, Mr. Popular, Harry argues, drawing back just the tiniest amount until they
can look each other in the eye.
Well, Louis shrugs, I guess hes just been blessed with really cool parents, eh?
Harry cant exactly argue against that one. He thinks, in his own humble opinion, that they have
done, and are doing, quite a splendid job at raising all four of their children.
How about us? Louis murmurs, tracing Harrys jaw with his thumb, smiling softly at him,
crinkles by his eyes prominent and deepened with the time passed. Have we got any plans?
Youre making me feel like a personal assistant, love, Harry teases, nosing along Louis beard-
scratchy cheekbone. Are you only keeping me around to keep track of your day?
Caught me, Louis grins, kissing Harry chastely, Im a proper clich, banging you, my sexy
assistant. Please dont tell my husband.
Is that what we are? An illicit love affair?
The illicitetest test. Louis scrunches up his face, and Harry cant help but laugh, softly, quietly
because its still in the early hours of the morning, and theyre still in that peaceful state where any
loud noise could shatter the tranquillity of their bubble. The most illicit.
Sounds like a dirty little secret.
Louis shakes his head, Not a secret.
No? Harry grins, Dirty, though?
Kinky, Louis corrects him with a shit eating grin.
How does your husband feel about that? Harry asks, slipping his hand into Louis boxers and
cupping his arse cheek.
Dont think hes complaining, if Im honest. He grinds his fattening cock against Harrys, which
is also starting to harden in interest, and theyre being stupid, really, because they havent got the
time for this, havent the time at all, they need to be up in ten minutes or so, have to cook breakfast
and wake up their kids and get them all dressed and ready.
Fuck, Lou, we dont have the time for this, he warns him, regretfully slipping his hand out of
Louis pants, every bit aware of the fact that he was actually the one who started it.
Quick handjob in the shower? Louis proposes with a lopsided smile, kissing the corner of
Harrys mouth and swinging his legs over the edge of the bed before Harry has the time to answer
him.
And, well they could probably squeeze that in, yes. Hes out of the bed in a flash, standing up
so quickly that hes hit with a dizzy spell, forgetting the fact that he isnt twenty-three anymore,
because at times like these he feels it. Louis is there in a flash with a steadying hand on Harrys
waist and a kiss on his temple as Harry leans into him slightly, regaining his balance.
Not so eager, lover boy, youre not exactly young anymore. Louis teases, as they make their
way to their ensuite bathroom together.
Youre one to talk, grandpa. Harry shoots back with no heat, heart not in it when he has Louis
in front of him, shedding his pants and stepping into the shower gloriously naked.
God, no, Louis says, slightly mortified as he reaches for Harrys hand, pulling him in with him,
now pantless as well. I hope not for many, many years.
Well, Harry laughs quietly, mouthing along Louis neck as the water cascades around them.
Considering Lucas is eleven and Freya is barely eight I would hope so too.
And thank God for that, Louis sighs as he takes a surprising hold of Harrys length which has
miraculously not softened with all their talk about grandchildren. Even at thirty-seven his dick is
still something to be proud of, he even remembers Louis telling him so when they took a weekend
in Rome just the two of them a couple of months ago, though he was incredibly drunk from
touring wineries and has denied it vehemently ever since.
Harry moans into Louis shoulder, reaching down to wrap his hand around both their cocks at
once, covering Louis smaller hand briefly until he removes it, sneaking both hands to cover
Harrys arse, one finger slipping between the cracks of his arse to ghost over his hole. He gasps at
the slight pressure, already so close, stamina never been much this early in the morning even in his
sexual prime. He knows Louis body well enough, speaks the language of his moans fluently, to
know that hes close as well, just from Harrys hand pulling both of them off, making sure to
swipe his thumb over the slit of Louis dick on every upstroke.
Close, he mutters into Louis ear, nibbling slightly at the lobe.
Me too, Louis pants, as he applies a bit more pressure with his finger, slipping just inside
Harrys hole with the very tip of his finger. Harry comes in tandem with the intrusion, orgasm
overwhelming him as he shoots all over both of their torsos, his own hand and the floor of the
shower, all of it instantly being washed away by the water.
He loosens his grip enough to allow his own softening cock to slip free, and then tightens his hold
around Louis dick, letting him fuck into the tight grip one, two, three times before he comes as
well.
Harry holds his palm spread under the spray to wash away Louis come coating it, while he holds
him close to his body as he shakes through the aftershocks of his orgasm.
When he feels Louis slacken in his grip, he grins into his temple before pressing a kiss there, That
was pathetically fast, really. We truly are old, huh?
Well, Louis shrugs, Just following orders, arent we? We did say it needed to be quick.
It was good though, Harry grins, hip checking Louis as he reaches for the shampoo and pours a
dollop into his hand.
Always good with you. Louis replies, uncharacteristically soft as he turns his back to Harry,
letting him massage the shampoo into his hair. Harry kisses Louis shoulder in reply, in agreement,
before grabbing the shower head, tipping Louis head upwards and moving to wash out the
shampoo.
You never answered my question; are we doing anything today? Louis murmurs, only just
audible over the sound of the shower, as he spins Harry around and stands on his tip toes to reach
Harrys hair.
Harry hunches slightly, still hopelessly endeared over Louis pixie size even though hes had so,
so long to get used to it. Well, he starts, as he tries to resist the urge to purr, Louis hands in his
wet curls feeling like fucking heaven. We need to go food shopping, so either we can go together
and bring Harper, Oliver, and Lucas if he wants to come, or one of us can stay home with the kids
while the other goes?
Louis doesnt take more than a few seconds to contemplate before answering, and Harrys heart
swells a bit with his words. Lets all go, Id like to spend all of today with you.
Oh yeah? Harry questions, smile evident in his voice as he turns around, the shampoo having
been rinsed out of his hair. Any particular reason?
Well, Louis grins, looping his arms around Harrys waist and stepping closer. Besides the fact
that I love you silly amounts, it is precisely fourteen years today since the day I proposed to you.
Thats Harryd forgotten, actually, which is nothing like him usually, but in his defence its not
exactly like they usually celebrate the day they got engaged, and he has yet to forget a wedding
anniversary or a birthday or anything of that calibre. Theyve been busy recently, arranging yet
another tour and writing for another album with the boys, trying to schedule it all so that itll cause
the least amount of hassle between their four families, kids and wives and significant others having
been a part of the equation for many, many years now.
He remembers the day Louis asked him to marry him like it happened yesterday, though. It came
slightly out of nowhere, and it happened so fast, not even six months after theyd gotten together
properly, but it had just felt so right. From the minute they got together properly it was like
something just clicked, like the last piece of the puzzle of their lives had been added and they
could finally look down at the full picture.
It had been the last concert of their tour, they were in Australia, having played half a dozen gigs or
so throughout the country, when Louis had sidled up behind him and wrapped his arms around his
torso. Theyd been lined up, ready to go on stage, only minutes before they were to entertain an
audience of thousands. Louis claimed afterwards that it just slipped, that hed had a much more
lavish and intricate proposal planned, but that the words just tumbled out of his mouth right then
and there, like they had a life of their own.
Marry me? Hed blurted out, the words whispered into Harrys ear, quiet enough for the other
lads not to notice.
Harry can still phantom feel the shock he felt upon hearing those words. Hed spun around in
Louis arms to face him, surely looking several shades of unattractive with the way his mouth was
hanging open in disbelief. What? He remembers whispering, shock colouring his voice, because
in all honesty he was still half in the belief that hed imagined Louis question.
I love you, Louis had stated, taking both of Harrys hands in his. I wanna spend the rest of my
life with you. So will you marry me?
And Harry really hadnt needed even a second to contemplate his answer, when all he had ever
wanted was being offered to him right then and there. Hed taken a step closer to Louis, cupped
his cheek in his hand, and whispered a yes with tears in his eyes, before pressing a kiss to his
lips.
It hadnt lasted long before theyd both broken out in massive smiles, hardly able to kiss through
their grins, and Louis had pulled a stunning black silver ring adorned with black diamonds in two
rows out of his pocket, like hed taken to carrying it around with him everywhere. He probably
had. It was unique and beautiful and so, so Harry. A testament to how well Louis knew him. He
still wears it on his right hand to this day, his wedding ring on the left one, and hes able to look
down on either hand and be reminded of Louis, something that never fails to put a smile on his
face. Its like that with his whole body, really.
Because like the sappy shit that he is, Harry has an entire body inked with the declarations of love
he could never utter to Louis face before. The birds that resemble them, the love banner hidden
underneath Harrys bird, like the love he had hidden for so many years. And now hes covered
with other tattoos too, assembled through a life with his husband, telling an ode to the love of his
life, to the family theyve built together.
Hey, he hears Louis voice, as the older man tugs gently at a strand of Harrys hair made straight
by the water pulling it down. Where did you disappear to?
Just reminiscing, taking a stroll down memory lane, you know? Harry smiles, leaning further
into him. Remember the day you proposed to me?
Louis laughs into Harry neck in response. God, that was a mess.
Remember how Niall ended up announcing it to an entire arena by mistake before wed even
managed to comprehend it ourselves? Just saw the ring and asked flat out? Harry grins, breathing
in the intense smell of their joint shampoo that still clings to Louis wet hair, as he reaches behind
him to turn off the shower.
Yes, Louis groans, taking a step back so that they can exit the shower. Harry hands him a towel
as they step out of the stall and into the steam filled room. And we were both too shocked by
being confronted with it that we couldnt do anything but confirm. In hindsight we should perhaps
have waited to put the ring on your finger until after wed finished performing. Or I should just,
you know, have waited til after to actually ask.
Wed just gotten engaged, though, at that point it was probably the happiest day of my life, I was
hardly thinking rationally. Harry shrugs, towelling off before grabbing a pair of pants.
At that point, eh? Louis grinned, reaching past him to grab a pair of pants for himself. Not
anymore?
Well, Harry found himself shrugging, unable to keep a smile off his face. Then I married you,
had an actual wedding and a honeymoon, spent two fantastic years with you before we had
Lucas, and then had three more beautiful children with you, and we suddenly were a family,
spending every single day together. Im spending every single day with you, and its a little bit like
it just keeps getting better.
Louis smiles that perfect, crinkly eyed smile that never fails to make Harrys heart flutter. Weve
been together for nearly fifteen years, Haz, he teases, One should think youd exhausted
yourself of sappy things to say.
Harry laughs and shakes his head, because no, couldnt ever.
Im glad though, Louis continues, So bloody grateful every day that you didnt just give up on
me sometime during the bloody seven years it took me to get my head out of my arse, that you
were willing to have me, that you still loved me when I finally figured out what was going on, I

I would have been a bloody fool not to, Harry interrupts, shaking his head slightly over the fact
that theyre still having this conversation once every year or so Louis seems to become
particularly grateful and sappy around anniversaries, like they remind him of how fragile
everything is, how close they were to not having this wonderful life theyre now living. This past
decade and a half with you, Lou, I couldnt have had that with anyone else, wouldnt want that
with anyone else. Always been just you.
Louis merely nods, because he already knows, Harry knows, its a topic theyve exhausted long
ago, but it seems that every now and then he needs to give Louis a little reminder, and hes always
happy to do so. More than happy to spew out sappy shit that would make any normal person puke
rainbows. True shit, though, the truest of all shits, yes.
He crowds Louis against the bathroom counter and kisses him thoroughly, lazily, exactly like
morning kisses ought to be. Reluctantly, he pulls back after a few moments before it can turn into
something they dont have time to finish.
Role division? He asks, kissing Louis chastely twice more before pulling back completely and
taking a step back.
If you make breakfast, Ill wake up the kids? Louis questions in reply, even though it isnt
actually a question, because thats exactly how it always is.
Sounds perfect. He says in reply anyway, because it does, their routine having been established
more than a decade ago. Louis squeezes his hand before making his way into their bedroom,
presumably to get dressed, leaving Harry behind grinning like a loon for several moments before
he shakes himself out of it and follows his husband into their room.
He pulls on a pair of jeans and an old checked shirt, his style having changed laughably little
during these many years that have passed by, and shakes his wet hair slightly, opting out of doing
anything with it until it has dried completely.
He leaves Louis in their room as hes pulling on a pair of trackies, and heads downstairs to their
kitchen, pulling out ingredients for pancakes, their own little Sunday tradition. Hes halfway
through mixing the batter when Luke enters the kitchen, greeting Harry with a one armed hug and
a good morning, which Harry returns with a smile. Wordlessly, his eldest son pulls out different
kinds of fruit from the fridge, and starts cutting it into pieces and placing it on a big platter, ready
to be strewn over the pancakes for those who want it.
Sleep well? Harry questions as he starts heating up the pan, getting out a plate to place the
pancakes on when theyre finished.
Yeah, Lucas answers, moving to pull plates from the cupboard and place them on the kitchen
counter along with glasses and cutlery, ready for Freya to set the table when she gets down. Was
fine. Can I flip the pancakes, Papa?
Grinning Harry hands his son the spatula, stepping enough to the side to make space for Luke
next to him. Of course, peanut. His grin widens as Luke wrinkles his nose, already having
expressed how he feels that hes much too old to be called peanut, a nickname that had stuck
with them after Louis had marvelled over how the doctor had told them that the foetus was no
bigger than a peanut when theyd first joined their surrogate at her doctors appointment.
He pours the appropriate amount of batter onto the pan, and tips it to spread the batter evenly.
When its cooked enough, he motions for Luke to attempt flipping it. To say politely, its a
disaster, and Harry quickly tips it into the rubbish bin, opening his mouth to reassure his son who
beats him to it.
The first one is always bad, I know, Papa. Lets try again. They do this every weekend, and he
cant help grinning as he pours more batter on the pan, and this time, like every time since Luke
started flipping pancakes every Sunday, he does it to perfection.
A few pancakes in, Freya comes into the kitchen, still clad in her pyjamas. Harry assumes that
Louis thought it would be better not to risk her getting the outfit shes wearing to the birthday dirty
before even leaving the house, and he quite applauds the decision. She turns on the radio as the
first thing, before moving to give Harry a kiss on the cheek as he stoops down to her level, and
then grabbing the things to set the table that Lucas set out earlier. Shes so, so much like Louis in
the morning, takes ages to wake up, quiet, pliant, and soft until shes finally woken up completely.
Shes physically the spitting image of Harry, when looking at her soft chocolate curls, big green
eyes, and deep dimples, but so, so much like Louis on the inside. Just goes to show that genetics
are far, far from everything.
Louis comes down just as theyre putting the food on the table, their four-year old Harpers hand
firmly grasped in his, and a baby monitor in the other.
Didnt want to wake Oliver, he explains, as he helps Harper into her chair. Thought itd be
better to let him sleep.
Harry agrees with a content hum, starting to distribute pancakes among the five of them. Louis
got Harper dressed and ready, the young girl babbling happily about pancakes and something
about dragons that Harry isnt quite sure where it came from. Louis is humming and ooh-ing at
all the right times, though Harry is sure that hes at least as lost as to where the dragons came from
as him. Harper has grown so talkative over the last few months, and its so, so amazing to see how
shes starting to turn into an individual, how shes forming a mind of her own and apparently a
love for dragons. Sometimes Harrys heart feels too big for his body, so big that he doesnt think
his ribs can hold it in anymore, surely only moments from having it bursting from his body.
Daddy, Lucas says, as Harry has put a few pancakes on Louis plate and is moving to sit down
himself. Can I go to Sams house to play today?
Yeah, Louis answers, shooting a quick look at Harry to make sure he doesnt have any protests
against that plan. Of course you can, bud. You can call him after breakfast to arrange a time,
yeah?
Nodding eagerly, Luke tucks into his pancakes with a big grin, the prospect of hanging out with
his best friend seeming to have brightened his day immensely.
Uncle Liam is skyping us in half an hour, Harry reminds them, after hes strewn fruit over his
pancakes. If you guys wanna say hi to him?
As predicted, Luke nods eagerly once more, having some sort of hero-worship deal going on with
Liam. Freya is closer to Niall, the Irish lads constant enthusiasm and high energy levels being
right down her alley, while Zayn has already claimed a soft spot in Harpers heart, never turning
down an opportunity to do one of the four year olds favourite pastimes drawing. Something
tells him that Zayn will be quite enthusiastic to learn about Harpers fascination with dragons. Its
kind of funny, really, how each of the boys have found one of their children to bond with just a
little bit closer than the rest of them, but its lovely, and it works out. Its already clear how much
they enjoy having an uncle they consider a little bit more theirs, how nice it is for them to have
one willing to put his sole attention on them.
They eat their pancakes, chatter filling their dining room and Harrys insides with warmth and life.
The radio is still playing softly in the background, and Louis is cutting Harpers pancakes into
small squares, while Harry makes sure that Luke and Freya are on top of their homework for next
week.
Papa, Freya says suddenly, as all their plates are coming up on empty. Are we going with you
on tour this time?
Harry nods, taking a small sip of his tea, Yeah, he says, smiling at her softly, Not for another
year though, pretty. Weve agreed with your uncles to tour during your summer holidays next
year, so that you all can come with us, and your cousins too.
How does that sound? Louis smiles at their daughter, and Harry feels something touching his
feet underneath the table, can feel Louis feet hooking around Harrys ankles in a subtle sign of
comfort.
Theyve been writing for the album for the past year or so, and are going to spend this summer
recording, before coming out with their next instalment around November, and then touring the
next summer. Thats the plan, and its not that they think their children will object to the idea of
spending their summer travelling around the world with their extended family, but both Freya and
Lucas have reached that point where their friends seem infinitely cooler than their dads, and you
never really know how theyre going to take it.
Were gonna travel around the whole world? Luke questions in awe, eyes big.
In a bus like last time? Freya asks, her expression matching her brothers.
Yeah, Louis confirms with a fond laugh and crinkled eyes. Bus and aeroplane. And not the
whole world, but loads of countries in Europe and loads of places in America.
Theyve opted for fewer places and more time spent each place in order for them to be able to also
be able to create a feeling of holiday for their kids, not willing to expose them to the kind of tours
they were on when the band was both younger and bigger.
Theyve managed to fall comfortably into that niche where theyre nowhere near their former
status, but still demand this undeniable respect from people, the sole fact that theyre still around,
still have a solid fan base despite all odds stacked against them, being impressive to even the
biggest of music snobs. And the fans they have now are great, loyal and brilliant, not to mention
the fact that their music is bloody brilliant, a far cry from the kinds of What Makes You Beautiful,
much more mature and much more them.
Thats so cool, Luke breathes, Are we going to Spain? Can we go see Barcelona play again?
Can we go see the lock? Freya asks eagerly, the little girl having been utterly fascinated by the
lock on the bridge that still hangs there to this day. Theyd taken their children to see it a few years
ago when theyd played in Denmark last, and it must have made quite an impression for Freya to
be able to still remember it despite having been quite young when she saw it.
Theyve taken to bringing a marker pen every time they go there to freshen up the writing, and
gradually add the initials of their children as they came along. They havent been since having
Oliver seven months ago, so theyll have something to add this time as well. Maybe theyll even
have Harper write the O on there, her fascination with Oliver Twist being what had named him
after all.
Course we can, Louis grins, answering both of them at once. Hey, Frey, did you check on
Maggie?
Freya nods, I did, Daddy. She was sleeping because shes an old dog, thats what Papa always
says. Harry grins, cant help it, with the important tone shes infused her words with, like shes
telling them about quantum physics, or explaining the cure for cancer, and not just the
whereabouts of their big golden retriever.
Thats right, he grins at her, Its because Daddy and I had Maggie a whole year before Luke
came along.
We know, Dad, Lucas rolls his eyes, attitude much like Louis, You got a puppy for your
birthday from Dad because he thought you should get in a bit of practice before having actual
kids, youve told us about a million times.
Yeah, Papa, Louis teases, grinning at him from across the table, Youve told us a million
times.
Harry shakes his head in fond exasperation at his familys antics. Youre pains, the both of you,
he tells them, and then turns his attention to Freya, Do you wanna get her breakfast, pretty?
Eagerly, Freya nods her head and scrambles off her chair, luckily finished with her breakfast
already. She hurries to carry her plate to the sink before making her way into the living room
where Maggie must be sleeping in her basket.
Harry gets up to follow her, leaving Louis to feed Harper the last of her breakfast and clear the
table. He gets the dog food from the cupboard in the hall and brings it into the living room, where
Freya is gently petting Maggie, the big dog nuzzling into her hand.
Lets get her to the kitchen so she can eat, yeah? He suggests, shaking the bag slightly to catch
Maggies attention. She perks up exactly at the same time as Freya scrambles to stand, looking
eagerly at Harry.
Can I pour it into the bowl, Papa? She asks, as Maggie gets up and makes her way towards
Harry, tail wagging and tongue rolling out of her mouth.
Of course, love, he nods, bending down slightly to scratch Maggie behind her ear before
making his way into the kitchen where her bowl is, hand coming to rest on his daughters shoulder
as she sidles up next to him.
Luke is rinsing off the plates in the kitchen when they enter, Louis and Harper nowhere in sight,
as he helps Freya with tipping the food into the bowl.
Harold, kids, Louis voice sounds, coming from somewhere in the other part of the house, the
office, Harry presumes, when he continues with, Liam is calling, get in here all of you.
Harry grins at his children from where hes crouched, petting Maggie as she starts to eat. Better
do as your dad says, kiddos. And hes barely let out the words before his two eldest are running
from the kitchen towards the office. He chuckles quietly as he strokes Maggies back one last time
before getting up and making his way there himself.

The call to Liam ends up lasting an hour and a half, before the other lad has to sign off, too tired to
keep going, but with the promise to the kids that hes going to come back and spend all summer in
London in only a few weeks.
Harry takes Freya to her room to do her hair when shes gotten dressed in her favourite dress. He
ties her long curls back with a headscarf with a pretty flower motif, and sends her along to show
herself off to Louis and get his appraisal. He follows her, but ducks into Olivers room, to find his
tiny son has started to stir. He picks him up, cradling him against his chest and kissing the top of
his head where the tiniest amount of nearly translucent hair lies. He breathes in the unmistakable
smell of baby, determined to savour it now that they have it, both of them having found peace
with Oliver being the last one theyre having.
He bounces him gently as he walks downstairs to where he suspects he can find the rest of his
family, unable to hold back the fond expression his face morphs into as Oliver wraps his tiny fist
around the fabric of his checked shirt, holding tight. Hes a quiet baby, hardly ever cried until he
started teething, much unlike Harper for instance, who it seemed had barely done anything but
scream the first year of her life. Its an almost laughable contrast to how soft and quiet she is now,
preferring drawing to most other activities, though Louis has managed to instil an interest in
football in all of their children so far. Privately Harry thinks it stems from how fun Louis makes it
whenever they get out the ball in their garden, and perhaps also how much fun the kids must be
able to sense Louis is having whenever they play with him, how much he loves it, eyes shining
and grin huge. More times than not Harry joins too, and its an all-out family thing.
When he walks into the living room, its to the sight of Freya twirling for Louis, her dress
billowing around her, and Louis telling her how very, very beautiful she looks.
Did Papa do your hair? He asks, bending down to tug a curl slightly, before looking up at
Harry, catching his eyes with a mischievous smile. Perhaps you should do his, eh? It looks a bit
ridiculous, doesnt it?
Freya turns around to look at Harry, Louis hands resting on her hips from where hes still
crouched into a sitting position. She giggles, Your hair looks silly, Papa.
Oh, Harry says, taking a step further into the room, Is there anything you can do about it?
Nodding eagerly, she runs from the living room, presumably to find whatever shes deemed
worthy of being put in Harrys hair, and he walks closer to Louis. Harper is sitting on the floor
next to the sofa drawing, and Maggie is resting next to her, seeming quite content every time
Harper reaches over to pet her, or bury her head in her soft fur.
Did Luke ring Sam? He questions his husband, who reaches to take Oliver from him.
Yeah, Louis smiles softly at Oliver, face the very definition of heart eyes. Yeah. Were
dropping him off on our way to the shops.
Harry steps closer to them, resting one hand one the small of Louis back, and holding the other
out to Oliver, offering him a finger to grab onto. He does so with his tiny, tiny fist and much as he
loves it when they start showing off a personality like Harper, or when they reach the age where
they suddenly show insight and compassion that makes it feel like his heart is going to burst, or
when they reach Lukes age and theyre suddenly much, much too big, hes still going to miss
having a little one once Oliver gets older. Having someone so tiny he used to be able to hold them
in one hand. Its scary how quickly time passes, how quickly they grow up. Its exciting, because
he loves his children, and every single day they continue to astonish him and make him so, so
proud, but its also terrifying, because the world can be such a cruel place, and he wants nothing
more than to wrap them all in his arms and never let them go.
Freya bounces into the room again, a flurry of limbs and excitement, a flowery headscarf not
unlike her own clutched in her hand.
Sit down, Papa, she instructs him, and Harry bends slightly to press his lips against Olivers tiny
fist, before slipping his finger from it and sitting down on the sofa.
Zayn texted a couple of minutes ago, Louis smiles down at them, as he bounces Oliver gently,
to the little guys great amusement. Harry thinks that baby giggles might be his very favourite
sound in the entire world. Theyll be here in like ten minutes or so.
Harry would nod if he could, but Freyas got his head tipped back as she attempts to tie in the
headscarf. He holds up his thumb in recognition instead.
This is hard, Daddy, Freya says from behind him, her small hands wrapped in his curls. He sees
Louis take a step closer, and its impossible to keep the smile off his face as Louis starts to instruct
her how to tie it. When they both deem him finished, Harry turns around with a grin.
How do I look? He asks, running his hand through a few of the curls peeking out from it.
Almost as beautiful as pretty here, Louis smiles, eyes twinkling in merriment. With one arm, the
other holding Oliver up, he reaches down to adjust the scarf slightly. Stunning.
Harrys about to reply when the doorbell rings, and Freya hurries to open it. Louis moves to
follow her while Harry stays in the living room with Harper. He moves from the sofa to the floor
to sit next to his daughter, running his hand over Maggies soft fur as he watches Harper draw
with concentration furrows etched deeply into her forehead.
He reaches with his other hand to smooth down Harpers hair, brown, and straight, and so, so soft
underneath his fingers.
What are you drawing, love? he asks her, trying to sneak a peek at the piece of paper shielded
by her body.
Dragon, papa! She exclaims happily. I draw dragon.
Yeah? he grins, sliding his hand down to rub her back. Can I see? Can I see your dragon?
She picks up the picture with her slightly chubby hands, and stands up taking the two small steps
closer to Harry. He opens his arms and allows her to settle in his lap.
Here, Papa, she thrusts the paper into his hand, cuddling closer to him as he brings one hand
around her to hold her closer. Shes perhaps the most tactile of all their children, and the day hell
turn down a cuddle with her will be a cold day in hell. He looks down at her drawing, a smile
tugging at his lips, as he sees whats clearly a crudely drawn dragon. Not that Harry could do any
better, at four his daughter has already got him beaten as far as artistic abilities goes.
This is really good, monkey, he tells her with a smile and a squeeze of her waist. Really, really
good. Whos that? he points at the two stick figures shes drawn as well.
Thats Freya, she says, pointing to one of the figures, And thats Luke-y, she points to the one
next to the first one, and then moves her finger to something he hadnt noticed the first time hed
looked at the drawing, a tiny blob riding the dragon. And thats me.
Oh, silly Papa, huh, monkey? he grins, ruffling her hair gently, I should have known that.
Where are Daddy and I?
Daddy and Papa and Oliver is home, she says importantly, Oliver is a baby, too small for
dragon.
So were taking care of him at home?
She nods in reply, and he draws her closer in a one armed hug. Thats really nice, monkey. Shall
we go show Daddy your picture?
Nodding eagerly, she scrambles off his lap, and Harry gets up as well. They move towards the
hall, Maggie getting up and following them as they leave the room.
Louis is just closing the door when they reach him, and even though he knows that both Harper
and Zayn would have loved to see each other, he knows shes too young to understand why hed
have to leave almost before hes even arrived. Zayn and Perrie are bringing their two kids for
dinner tomorrow anyway, so shell get to show off her dragon then.
Look, Daddy, Harper toddles towards Louis with the paper clutched in her hand.
What have you got there? Louis grins, handing Oliver to Harry who hurries up to accept him.
He crouches down in front of her, and accepts the drawing. Harry can see how the tips of his lips
quirk upwards upon seeing it. Is that a dragon? Wow, monkey, this is really good. Is it a
dangerous dragon?
Harry has to hold back his laughter as Harper shakes her head vehemently, looking scandalised at
Louis suggestion. No, Daddy. Dragons not dangerous.
Alright, Louis grins. If you say so. Youre the expert. Do you want us to hang it on the
fridge?
Harper nods with big eyes, and moves to grab Louis hand, pulling him with her into the kitchen.
Harry follows them with Oliver perched on his hip.
Should we leave now? he asks, as Louis and Harper are pinning the picture smack in the middle
of the fridge, mismatched magnets from all around the world being used to hold it up. Ive got a
list on my phone, so we just have to get them into their shoes and jackets.
Sound good, Louis smiles at him over his shoulder. Were taking the Range Rover?
Might as well, Harry nods, We moved the car seat there the other day, didnt we?
Yeah, Louis confirms, and then turns to Harper, Hey, monkey, will you go tell your big
brother to get ready to go?
She hurries out of the kitchen with barely a confirming answer, leaving Harry to chuckle softly in
her wake.
Whats with the dragons? Louis asks, grinning, sidling up next to Harry to plant a short kiss on
his lips. Is that your doing?
Nuh-uh, Harry denies, Actually I think it might be Luke? Didnt the two of them watch How
To Train Your Dragon last weekend?
Oh, yeah. I think youre right. Louis nods, as they make their way out of the kitchen. Cool
thing to be obsessed with, I think.
Definitely better than her jelly fish phase, every picture just looked like a giant blob.
She didnt have a jelly fish phase, Harold, Louis laughs, hip checking him as he pulls the kids
jackets from the hanger. She was barely three years old, everything she drew looked like blobs
then.
I think they looked quite like jelly fishes.
Well, you would. Louis retorts, though it had little bite. Harry forgoes whining because he
knows hes right anyway. He holds Oliver while Louis puts on his jacket, and then his tiny shoes,
following with putting on his own vans and a Burberry coat Harrys pretty sure was originally his.
He takes Oliver from Harry at the same time as Luke and Harper bound down the stairs, coming
tumbling towards them in a hurricane of Tomlinson limbs. They chatter loudly as they pull on
their shoes and jackets, and Harry does the same before grabbing the car keys and opening the
door to lead them outside.
Luke has a hold of Harpers hand, and Harry is once again hit by how much of Louis that is in
him, how much of Louis that is in all of their children. Louis says the same about their children
and Harry, and theyve come to the conclusion that maybe theyre just better at spotting the others
characteristics than their own, but thats also quite alright, because Harry wouldnt mind having
twenty children that were spitting images of Louis inside and out. Wouldnt mind at all. But
theres something about the protective streak in Luke that runs a mile deep, something about the
way that hes always looking out for his siblings, trying to shoulder more responsibility than he
should that is just so, so Louis to Harry. It might be how every big brother is supposed to be, but
to Harry its just Louis.

They drop off Luke at Sams house, agreeing with his parents that theyll pick him up before
dinner, before making their way to the shop.
Shopping with Louis now is much like its always been, a fine balance between buying the
necessities on Harrys list and whatever random stuff Louis deems worthy of making its way into
their trolley.
They let Harper choose some ice cream they can have for dessert, it being a special day and all,
and Harry picks up a few ingredients hes missing to be able to bake Louis favourite chocolate
mud cake.
Louis comes back from a detour to pick up some more nappies with a box of strawberries and shit
eating grin. Thought we should relive the night we got engaged, he grins holding up the
strawberries. You know, minus the all night shag fest, Im not nave enough to think thats on the
horizon for us.
Harry grins at him, pulling at his hip and hauling him into a quick kiss. Youre lovely, he tells
him honestly, kissing his temple once before taking the strawberries from him and placing them in
the trolley.
They finish the rest of their shopping at a leisurely pace, having nothing that needs them to hurry,
and stop on their way home to get fish and chips for lunch. Harper deems it her favourite food,
and proceeds to get mushy peas in her dark blonde hair. Louis doesnt stop laughing for what
seems the entire trip home, after Harry, in what was an attempt to remedy the pea plus hair
situation, effectively got the green goo smeared all over his shirt. Life with children and a husband
with the mentality of a five year old is truly thrilling.
Sitting in the passenger seat of the car while Louis drives, Harry whips out his phone to thumb out
two consecutive tweets. He sends off the first one, and hurries to thumb through the sadly few
pictures he has on his fairly new phone for the second one, his heart skipping a beat when he
comes upon one of Louis and Oliver that hed taken only a couple of days ago. With a small smile
and a soaring heart he attaches it, and pushes send.


The rest of their Sunday is exactly like Harrys favourite weekends; filled with nothing, really. He
gets started on the cake as soon as they get home and hes changed his shirt into one of the five
hundred other checked shirts he owns. Harper is sitting on the counter and helping him as best she
can, while Louis puts Oliver down for a nap. When theres a lull in the baking, he pulls out his
phone from his pocket to check the time, only to find that Louis has tweeted something as well,
because of course he has. He opens it with a smile, which only grows when he sees the tweet on
his display.
He hums happily as he lays his phone on the counter, turning his attention back to the baking.
When the cake is in the oven and Louis has returned to the house, Oliver sleeping peacefully in
the garden, they get out the watercolours for Harper to paint with, while the two of them go over
which tracks they want to pitch to the boys for the new album. Their afternoon continues largely
like that, until Harry deems it time to get started on dinner.
Hes cooking fajitas, because somehow its still Louis and all of their childrens favourite, though
Harry, when hes feeling particularly sentimental, would say he himself is more partial to a plate of
chicken wrapped in Parma ham stuffed with mozzarella and a side of homemade mash. He might
be a bit biased.
When Harry is getting the rest of the dinner ready, Louis drives off to pick up Freya from the
birthday party and Luke from Sams. Once theyre back they sit down to eat together, the other
three arriving exactly when the food is ready.
Its at times like these, when theyre all sitting around the table after a day when they havent
really done anything worth writing home about, that Harry is hit with just how ridiculously lucky
they are to have what they have together. Its not that it isnt hard a lot of the time, their jobs not
exactly children friendly, though they do what they can to make it so, and managing four children
can be a challenge. Its not like its all been rainbows and smiles between the two of them for
almost fifteen years, but its never exactly been bad either. Theyve fought, and theyve disagreed,
and theyve thought the other one was a blundering idiot, but theyve never spent a night apart that
they didnt have to. Theyve left each other to cool off, grabbed their jacket and driven far away in
frustration, but theyve always come back after an hour or two at most, always come back to talk
about it, never gone to bed angry. Their sofa has been used for nothing but sitting on, and the
occasional shared nap, or, Harrys favourite, whenever Louis took to napping with one of their
children sleeping on his stomach. The image of that never fails to melt Harrys insides.
After dinner, Lucas suggests they all watch a film, and while Louis piles the plates in the
dishwasher, Harry takes the kids to the living room to let them pick a film. They end up agreeing
on something animated that Harry knows will bore him in two seconds flat, but he doesnt mind at
all when he gets to cuddle up against Louis. Harper is sitting on the other side of Louis, leaning
into him as well, and Oliver is perched in his lap. Freyas head is resting in Harrys, and hes
carding his hand through her curls in a soothing manner. Luke is on the floor with a blanket and a
pillow, arm thrown over Maggie as she lies next to him, hand scratching gently at her belly.
Like predicted the movie does nothing for him, but he revels in just being with his family, these
nights meaning more to him than words can properly explain. He tips his head to rest it on Louis
shoulder. The height difference between them would surely have made it an awkward position, if
it wasnt for the fact that Harrys sunk so deep into the cushions of the sofa that he thinks hes
never going to manage to get up again. Louis turns his head to place a chaste kiss on his forehead,
and Harry tucks the smile the breaks onto his face into Louis shoulder.
Hes just happy. So, so happy.
Their life together is an odd mix of over the top celebrity and down to earth domesticity, the both
of them going to great length to ensure that their kids are raised in as stable and normal an
environment as possible, trying to keep them clear of the famous aspect of their lives, of them as
Harry and Louis of One Direction, though of course it clashes every now and then, like when they
bring them along on tour. They work hard though, to design a tour thats adapted to their families,
and not having to adapt their families to the tour.
They have enough money to last them several lifetimes, they dont need to work, they do ot solely
because they enjoy it, but if it ever came down to it, it wouldnt even be a choice they had to think
about. Their family will always come first. They had their years on top of fame, and it was fucking
great a lot of the time, but it doesnt hold a candle to what they have now. Harry loves music,
loves performing, but hed choose getting to tuck in his children in bed at night any day, and
luckily music doesnt need a stage to be enjoyed. Freya has shown a remarkable interest in
singing, and has been taking piano lessons with Louis for a little while now. Hell take singing
with his daughter and his husband any time.
When the movie ends they herd their children upstairs to get into their pyjamas and get their teeth
brushed and ready for bed. Harper and Oliver are already asleep, which theyd luckily anticipated
by getting them ready before. Harry carries Harper to bed while Louis takes Oliver, Luke and
Freya, trudging after them up the stairs. Once hes deposited her in her bed, and bent over to give
her a quick kiss goodnight, careful not to stir her, he leaves her room, letting the door stand ajar,
and makes his way to Lukes room.
His eldest has changed into his pyjamas and presumably brushed his teeth. Hes lying in bed with
a Harry Potter book clutched in his hand, the bedside light on. Harry makes his way fully into the
room, bending down to hug his son and press a kiss to his forehead.
Night, peanut, he smiles, ruffling his hair slightly, Dont stay up reading too late, alright?
I know, Papa, he sighs exasperatedly as only a preteen can, though he hugs Harry back tightly.
Harry merely grins at him, Sleep well, yeah?
You too, Papa.
Harry squeezes his shoulder a last time, before throwing a See you in the morning over his
shoulder, and making his way out of the room.
Hes walking towards Freyas room, when he hears voices.
Daddy? he can hear her timid voice coming from her room, where Louis must currently be
putting her to bed, and theres something in her voice that just stops him in his tracks. The bed
creaks slightly, meaning Louis must have sat down on the edge of the bed where hes tucked her
in.
Yeah, what is it, pretty? Harry can just imagine how her nose has morphed into that cute
disgruntled expression at Louis use of her pet name, and he wills himself not to laugh because she
just is so, so pretty that even if it didnt stem from her namesake, theyd probably still have ended
up calling her pretty.
It just so happens, though, that Harry had developed such a fascination with Norse mythology
when Luke had been a baby, reading the stories aloud for him, so when Freya came along, such a
beautiful, beautiful baby, it had seemed quite fitting to name her after the goddess of beauty and
love.
Maries parents arent going to live together anymore, she says quietly, seeming almost scared.
Harry is just about to go in when Louis speaks, and he suddenly feels like it would be intruding to
make his presence known.
Oh? He says, quietly, prompting her to continue, and Harry wishes that he could see them.
Theyre getting a divorce, Daddy. Marie said that means her mummy and daddy dont love each
other anymore, but they still love her. Harry can hear a small sniffle, and his heart breaks at the
thought of his baby being sad. Something keeps him rooted to his spot though, something keeping
him back from walking into her room and scooping her into his arms. Louis is in there, so its
okay.
That happens sometimes, lovely, he hears Louis mutter, and theres a bit of commotion before
he continues talking, and Harry assumes he must have lain down in bed with her. Its no ones
fault, sometimes its just better if two people are just friends.
But, Freya starts, and her voice is a little bit muffled by something, and Harry can see vividly
how she must have her face pressed into Louis chest. Will that happen with you and Papa too?
Harrys heart skips a beat and theres silence for one, two, three
No, Harry can just envision Louis must be shaking his head vehemently. No, no, no, pretty,
not at all.
But it happened with Maries mummy and daddy
Papa and I are special, love, we love each other extra special. I love your Papa so, so much, bug,
theres nothing thats going to make me stop loving him, nothing that will make me want to be
separated from him Warmth spreads through Harrys body at Louis words, even though he
already knew, even though hes known, hasnt doubted it for even a second, for almost fifteen
years. Its a big promise to make, but its also the truth Harry knows, knows without a shadow of
a doubt that its a promise theyre never going to break.
Freya is less convinced, though, it seems, interrupting Louis, Maries mum told her that
sometimes it just happens, Daddy, sometimes you just stop loving each other.
Not with Papa and me. Ityou know, sometime when youre older, were going to tell you how
papa and I got together, because you know we were friends for a long time before, and it took us a
very long time to become a couple, so were not just going to stop loving each other now, muffin.
Ive loved your dad for more than twenty-one years, and I love him more and more every single
day
And I love your daddy, Frey. Harry says, stepping into the room, deeming it time for him to
make his presence known. I love your daddy so, so much. He climbs in behind her in bed, and
its a tight fit, but Harry figures that being sandwiched between her fathers, his hand stretched over
her and around Louis pulling both of them closer to him, is probably exactly what she needs. He
looks up briefly and catches Louis eyes, the slightly older man looking back at him with fondness
that should almost be embarrassing.
He links his hand with Louis and gives it a squeeze before continuing. Youve got nothing to
worry about, pretty. We promise. We love each other, and we love you so, so much. Were gonna
stay together and stay a family for the rest of our lives.
But sometimes you fight, Freya says, her voice quivering, Marie said she could hear her
parents yell at night.
Pretty, have you ever heard your papa and me yell at each other? Louis asks gently, detangling
his hand from Harrys to stroke her cheek. Sometimes we argue, because your papa can be really
silly
And your daddy can be a little bit unreasonable Harry interrupts, shifting his eyes to look at
Louis, small smiles playing on both their lips.
But it doesnt mean we dont love each other, Frey. Sometimes we disagree, because thats what
grownups do, but we always talk about it, we never go to bed angry, we always work it out.
Harry moves his hand to rest it on top of Louis which is stroking Freyas hair gently. You have
nothing to worry about, lovely, Harry promises. Nothing at all.
You promise? She asks, voice small, but no longer shaking, tears thankfully no longer making
their way down her cheek.
We do. They both say at the same time, which prompts a small laugh from both of them. Harry
looks up at Louis, sees his husband looking back at him and mouths the words theyve said a
million times by now; I love you. Louis grin widens, and his eyes reduce themselves to small
slits, I love you too, he mouths, and Harry raises himself slightly off the mattress, leaning over
Freya as Louis does the same, meeting his lips in a brief, chaste kiss.
When they pull back Harrys gaze drops to his eldest daughter, and sees the smile on her face, the
worry finally washed away from her features. Its a testament to how scared she really was that
she for once doesnt complain about their PDA, having been in the phase where seeing her
daddies kissing was the yuckiest thing ever for a while now.
Are you ready to sleep, pretty? Louis murmurs, kissing her forehead gently.
Shes quiet for a few moments, then, Will you stay? She whispers in reply, Until I fall asleep.
Both of you?
Settling into the mattress and holding her close as Louis does the same, Harry replies gently,
Course we will.

I love you, Harry says when they lie in their own bed later that night, after having munched on
strawberries (and maybe fed each other one or two) and watched half a movie of their own choice
on the sofa, before deeming their effort to stay awake futile and relocating to their bedroom. Hes
lying on his side, facing Louis who is lying on his back, head turned towards Harry.
Its been nearly fifteen years now, and not a day goes by without them saying those three words
several times. Harry used to think you could say it so much it lost its meaning entirely. Like when
you say Im sorry so many times that it stops being an apology, or when you swear until it ends
up sounding like nothing out of the ordinary. He doesnt think so anymore. Theres no way he
could ever tell Louis he loved him too many times, no scenario where the words would lose their
meaning.
Louis eyes crinkle, small smile present on his lips. It seems that theyre always smiling, have
always been smiling for years now. I love you more.
Harry shakes his head and rolls himself on top of Louis, so that hes encompassing him with his
body, weight held up by his elbows resting on each side of Louis head. He studies Louis for a
moment, taking in his face, from the blue of his eyes to the scruff on his cheeks, to the laugh lines
by his eyes and mouth that have only deepened with age. Hes stunning.
I seriously doubt thats possible.
Louis smile stretches, brightens, I love you equally then, he says.
Equally? Harry asks, voice amused. Hes entirely transfixed by his husband underneath him,
how the soft planes of his body line up perfectly with Harrys. Theyre meant to fit, meant to be
together, Harrys sure of it.
Yes. Louis confirms, one of his hands moving from where it has been resting on the small of
Harrys back to his cheek. The wedding band on Louis finger is cold against his skin, a reminder
of what he has, what the two of them have together. Harry had never thought he could get this
lucky. Right here next to you. Always. Forever if you want me. You know that.
Harry nods. Yes, he does know that, never doubts it for even a split second. Forever, he echoes,
before leaning down and sealing the promise with a kiss, And then a bit.
Chapter End Notes
That's it, everyone. Thank you for sticking with me through this, I hope you've
enjoyed it.
Thank you to Jess, Loo and Nina for helping me through this, couldn't have done it
without you!
Thank you to every single one of you who've read and commented on it. It's meant
the world to me!
MATERPOST here.
TUMBLR here.
Let me know what you thought?
Much love,
Heidi xx
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