THE Spektator №7 December 2009

Your monthly guide to what’s happening in and around Bishkek

Merry
Christmas
Bishkek !

Inside:
Who is Ded Maroz?
Journeys in Tibet
Saving Kyrgyzstan's Aged
Killer Calories
....and much more!

. .
Tourist Maps What’s On Restaurant Guide
 4 This Month

Just
don’t call me
Santa!
Season’s greetings! Your favourite Bishkek monthly CHRIS RICKLETON to take his blood daughter into the sub-zero wil-

D
is back and brimming with tongue-in-cheek yule-
tide cheer. Starting with the lowdown on Ded ED MAROZ, the pre-eminent per-
Maroz, Russia and Central Asia’s main festive celeb- sonage of the Russian New Year, is a
rity, we’ve got a host of turkey-basting articles to survivor. From his pagan roots via the
lift your winter-sapped spirits. Enjoy! suffocating Christian piety of the tsar-
ist period, beyond the state enforced
atheism of the Soviet Union and up to the present
day, he has prevailed. He has been portrayed as the
derness where she was then expected to die. Hen-
pecked and in search of a quiet life, the husband
obeyed, weeping all the way to the wide, barren
fields where he left her to her fate. The young girl
prayed and prayed with all her might as she trem-
bled and shook, until Ded Maroz, the sovereign of
this hapless wasteland, emerged from the winter
mists. “Does thou know me, the red nosed frost?”

Did You Know?

seasonal frieze on people’s window panes, a cruel he asked the girl. The girl in turn addressed ‘Dear
unsmiling face in the sky. He has been made to look Father Frost’ in terms of the utmost respect, and
less like Santa Claus, more like Santa Claus, purged charmed by both her pleasant appearance and
and provided with a homeland. But like Clint East- manners in the face of adversity, he showered her
Overshadowed by New Year in terms of impor- wood and the Spektator, Ded Maroz is very much with gifts - a thick, warm, sequin laced coat and a
tance, the Russian Orthodox Christmas takes alive and well, and it would be a fool that mentions treasure chest brimming with expensive goodies.
place on January 7th, a date determined by the Father Christmas in his presence. Expecting him to return with a corpse, the
Orthodox Church’s continued attachment to the girl’s stepmother sent her husband back to the
Julian Calendar. After 1582, the Julian Calendar Authoritarian Streak wilderness to see what had become of her. Despite
had been made obsolete in Europe by Pope A far cry from the rosy-cheeked, gift giving old man the intervention of a talking dog, who wagged his
Gregory, who cast into a void the best part of that shares so many of St Nicholas’ traits, Ded Maroz tail and repeatedly informed her that all was well
two weeks that the calendar had accumulated, was originally devolved from a series of Slavic Gods chez Maroz, the wicked woman continued to pre-
due to it gaining 11 minutes and 14 seconds on whose terrible cruelty is still recounted in Eurasian pare a feast for the young girl’s funeral. When her
the solar year every year for one and a half mil- folklore today. Pozvizd, who determined both good husband returned overloaded with presents, his
lennia. The Gregorian Calendar was accepted in and bad weather, Zimnik, who had a solely winter daughter dressed in all sorts of fineries, the old hag
Russia in the early 1900s but Christmas was still mandate and Korochun, who governed the lethal was livid. Immediately, she dispatched him once
pegged 13 days ahead of the Gregorian 25th frosts of the Siberian steppe, all left their mark on more to the wide, barren fields, this time with her
December, and is celebrated as if the change the original Ded. Unlike the Western ‘Jack Frost‘, a pe- own daughter, in order to reap some material gain
never occurred. ripheral figure with a limited capacity for real harm, from this unhappy state of affairs. Unfortunately,
· The Gregorian Calendar is so accurate that it Ded Maroz rarely messed around. As late as 1812, he her own spawn was neither as beautiful or polite
will take until the year 4316 to gain a whole day was credited with wiping out an entire army as the as her stepdaughter, and on making acquaintance
on the sun, which we think is very cool. troops of Napoleon Bonaparte perished during their with Ded Maroz she made the rather elementary
· Kyrgyzstan was judged the best possible lo- ill-fated invasion of Russia, a campaign unravelled by mistake of reprimanding him. “Can’t you see I’m
cation for Santa Claus to base his headquarters the ‘coldest winter in living memory’. In doing so, his freezing with cold, you stupid old man?” she yelled.
by a Swedish Logistics firm in 2007. Officials in name took on a more reverent quality. For destroying Ded Maroz took the rebuke personally and froze
the Kyrgyz Tourism Ministry immediately leapt an enemy that had initially seemed invincible, Ded the stupid girl to death.
on the idea to make 2008 ‘the year of Santa was toasted across the width and breadth of the Rus-
Claus‘. The big man had a mountain named sian Empire. He had defended the Tsar’s people with Repression and Renaissance
after him and Alatoo Square hosted a ‘Festival one long, unstoppable mood swing. By the time of the October Revolution, Ded Maroz
of World Santa Clauses’ in February 2009. The Although Ded Maroz remained a rather austere had begun to resemble his Western counterparts
Spektator cannot confirm whether or not Ded presence in Russian folklore, it gradually became in both looks and character. He wore a red caftan,
Maroz was in attendance. clear that his character was on the mend. A tale that sported a white beard and rarely appeared without
had been doing the rounds for some time, trans- his reindeers. Moreover, he’d become inextricably
Visit vologda-oblast.ru to find out how to pay a lated and published in Verra de Blumenthal’s ‘Tales associated with Christmas rather than just winter
visit to Ded Maroz’s home in Veliky Ustuyg. from the Russians’ in 1903, demonstrated that Ded per se. World War I had represented a lean period
giveth as well as taketh away. Once upon a time, it for Ded, as his similarities with the German Santa
is told, a wicked stepmother ordered her husband Klaus who appeared at Weinachten were all too ap-

December 2009 The Spektator www.thespektator.co.uk


parent - depicting him was officially discouraged
by the Tsarist authorities. Under Lenin and the
Bolsheviks, Ded fared even worse. He became an
outlaw, a symbol - like the yolka or Christmas tree -
of bourgeois religious prejudices. Even Stalin, who
by the 1930s had almost as many homicides to his
name as the old Ded Maroz, decided that they had
nothing in common and Father Frost was declared
an ‘ally of the priest and kulak’ during the drive for
collectivization. Fortunately, unlike others who
were thus condemned, Ded Maroz returned to ac-
tion in 1936. His rehabilitation owed much to a let-
ter written by Pavel Postyshev, published in Pravda
on December 28th, 1935. In the letter, Postyshev
argued for the reinstatement of the yolka and
other festive traditions as they pre-dated Christi-
anity and could bring joy to Soviet children. A blue
caftan-clad Maroz was thereon after instated at
the Palace of Unions in Moscow, where he sat by
a ‘New Year Tree’, with a beautiful young maiden at
his side, Snegurochka.
Snegurochka is Ded Maroz’s granddaughter,
who dutifully assists him in his gift giving activities
at New Year. In contrast to the faceless elves who
help Father Christmas in the build up to December
25th, Snegurochka had her own place in Russian
folklore for some time before her DNA was deter-
mined. Like Ded Maroz, she was a largely elemen-
tal character, although she didn‘t share his wicked
beginnings. To the contrary, Snegurochka was first
conceived as an ice sprite full of love and energy.
Despite the fact that she is associated with snow
and the cold, she has a warm heart, and in one
Russian fairy tale she jumps through a fire, melt-
ing herself after being rejected by the man of her
dreams. Nowadays she still melts every springtime,
thus explaining her ability to retain such youthful
good looks throughout the centuries.
The End of an Era
Following the break up of the Eastern bloc and the
collapse of the Soviet Union, Ded Maroz’s sphere
of influence more or less retreated to the frontiers
of newly independent Russia and its ‘near abroad’.
He was unceremoniously elbowed out of Poland,
www.thespektator.co.uk
This Month 5
where he was replaced by a revived Swiety Mikolaj, Oposite page Ded Maroz began life as an
the Polish St Nicholas. In Bulgaria he was usurped elemental character, more destructive than
by Dyado Koleda, or Father Christmas, while in the generous.
former Yugoslavia he was denounced as a commu-
nist, dissolved and supplanted by a collection of Top left Snegurochka is a uniquely Russian
ethnically charged mini-djeds. As Christian fervour character whose presence helps distinguish
grew in these countries, their own festive figures her grandpa from foreign imports. (Library
came to be re-associated once more with Christmas, image)
rather than the secular New Year. In predominantly
Muslim Albania however, New Year’s day remained Top right A posse of Ded Maroz imitators
the centrepiece of the festive period. Babadimri, gather at lake Issyk Kul.
the ‘Father Frost’ of this small Balkan state, has re-
mained in place, but is suitably poorer looking than Bottom One cartoonist‘s take on the fight
his Russian relative. He wears simpler clothes, and to fill stockings. The caption reads ‘Don’t let
instead of Ded Maroz’s abundant cortege, Babadim- friendship interfere with business’. (Library
ri has only a solitary reindeer to accompany him on image)
his mission.
In the snow covered, seemingly endless ex-
panses of the Motherland though, Mr Maroz en-
joys uncontested supremacy. His distinction from
Santa Claus is a priority of state, with free three-
week courses in Moscow offered to primary school
teachers in order to help them better understand
and propagate his role in the New Year proceed-
ings. Additionally, whilst bragging rights for owner-
ship of Father Christmas are disputed between the
four Scandinavian states and the fictitious entity
Lapland, the Frosty one has his own pine-panelled
retreat, set in acres of woodland 15 km from the
town of Veliky Ustyug. Since the creation of his
new rodina in 1998, Ded Maroz has received almost
1,500,000 letters and presents from children, many
from outside the country’s borders. The announce-
ment has precipitated an explosion in winter tour-
ism for Veliky Ustuyg, a remote settlement situated
in Vologda oblast, 22 hours by train north-east of
the Russian capital. Here families can celebrate
New Year in fairy-tale style, riding horses and build-
ing snowmen in a bona fide winter wonderland.
Here you can go sledging, skiing, get immersed in
the folklore of ancient Rus, sing festive songs and
dance in giant circles. Here, assisted by his exqui-
site granddaughter Snegurochka, and without the
distraction of that annoying Coca-Cola advert, Ded
Maroz makes plans for the expansion of his gift de-
livery empire.
December 2009 The Spektator
 6 This Month
Kyrgyzstan: families losing hope
as adoptees remain stuck in Central Asia
B
LAURIE RICH
ishkek, 12 Dec (EurasiaNet) - US lawmak-
ers intend to press the government of
Kyrgyzstan to expedite the adoptions of
65 Kyrgyz children by American families.
The adoptions have been stalled as Kyr-
gyz officials mull changes to the Central
Asian state’s adoption framework.
Senators Sam Brownback (R-KS), Bob Casey
(D-PA) and Barbara Boxer (D-CA) are preparing
a letter to Kyrgyz President Kurmanbek Bakiyev
concerning the 65 stalled adoptions, according to
a spokesperson in Sen. Brownback’s office.
Despite encouraging signs earlier this fall that
the situation might be resolved, the Kyrgyz Parlia-
ment failed to take action on new adoption legis-
lation in a mid-November session, as had been ex-
pected. The parliament pushed off further talks on
the issue to February 15, citing a need for “deeper
study,” according to the parliamentary press serv-
ice. The latest delay is causing some of the pro-
spective American parents to lose hope that they
will ever be allowed to bring the children to the
United States.
“Every time we think we’re right there ...some-
thing changes in the government,” said Ann Bates,
a Pennsylvania pediatric nurse who has been wait-
ing since June 2008 to bring home the four-year-
old girl with mild cerebral palsy she was matched
with.
The prospective parents thought they had
achieved a breakthrough back in September
when Kyrgyz Prime Minister Igor Chudinov prom-
ised senators Brownback and Casey that he would
urge parliament to expedite the pending adop-
tions. But three weeks later, Chudinov resigned
in a governmental shake up by President Bakiyev.
It was Chudinov who instituted a moratorium
on international adoptions in February of 2009
amid allegations of fraud and child trafficking on
the part of orphanages and adoption workers. The
government has been investigating those claims,
and, with the aid of UNICEF, is developing a new
adoption framework.
The 65 US families had gone through the
often year-long process to be matched with an
adoptable Kyrgyz child and were in the final stag-
es of adoption when the Kyrgyz officials stopped
processing applications. Many of the children
have disabilities, including one girl who has be-
come blind and deaf and has incurred brain dam-
age during the wait because of late-diagnosed
hydrocephalus, a problem that likely would have
been treated immediately in the United States,
the girl’s prospective adoptive mother, a Florida
paediatrician, believes.
“The human costs of these delays are so
enormous,” said Lisa Brotherton, who has been
waiting to be handed the baby girl with whom
she was matched since 2008. Brotherton, who
visited Bishkek last August, believes the baby has
Cerebral Palsy and is malnourished based on di-
agnoses she received from doctors who examined
photographs of the girl.
December 2009 The Spektator
“For her to continue to be victimized by lan-
guishing in a place where she can make no life-
long bonds adds insult to injury,” said Brotherton,
who worries that the adverse psychological ef-
fects - like attachment disorders, depression and
PTSD - will affect their children.
The prospective parents are well aware of an
ongoing Harvard Medical School study called the
Bucharest Early Intervention Project, which has
shown that children in Romanian orphanages
had significantly lower IQs (65 versus 103) than
children living in the community. Those living
in orphanages also have a much higher rate of
mental illness than those living in the community,
the study also shows. Those placed in foster fami-
lies made dramatic recoveries in mental health
and language acquisition - but the success rates
Kyrgyzstan in Brief
Kyrgyz government to raise electricity, Kyrgyz Diplomats Obliged To Use
hot water supply tariffs Kyrgyz Language
Bishkek, Dec 11 (24.kg) - The government of Kyr-
gyzstan plans to raise tariffs for electricity and hot
water supply two and five times respectively. The
issue will be further discussed at the next session
of the ministers’ cabinet on Thursday.
The plan is to raise the electricity price from 71
tyiyn to 1.5 soms per kilowatt hour. Even after the
increase, Kyrgyzstan’s rates for electricity would
remain lower than all other CIS countries, govern-
ment officials argue.
The same price hike is planned for heating. Cur-
rently, one heating gig-calorie costs the popula-
tion about 507.5 soms. Its price is expected to go
up to 1050 soms as of January 1, 2010 and then to
2500 soms from July 1, 2010, while the hot water
supply tariff will have gone up 10 times by the mid-
dle of 2010. At the time of writing, the price for one
hot water gigacalorie is equal to 253.8 soms. It will
be 1050 soms from January 1, 2010 and 2050 soms
by the middle of the next year.
The same tariffs will be fixed for all consumers.
Kyrgyzstan opts for 11-day
New Year Holiday
Bishkek, Dec 11 (24.kg) - Kyrgyzstan will be opting
for an 11-day New Year holiday ending on Janu-
ary 10, 2010, as announced via the governmental
press service last Friday.
“According to the government’s rational plan,
all firms and enterprises of Kyrgyzstan with a five-
day working week will have to work Saturdays of
January 16, 23, 30 and February 6,” the press serv-
ice said.
However, ministries and state agencies will
maintain skeleton groups working on the holidays.
were significantly diminished for those who were
older than two when they were put into the foster
homes.
The US State Department has tried to inter-
vene on behalf of the families, raising the adoption
issue in meetings with Kyrgyz diplomats, according
to a State Department official. The US government
also brought a group of Kyrgyz MPs this May to the
United States to discuss the adoptions and to meet
with some families.
“The Department of State has urged the Kyr-
gyz government to complete its criminal investiga-
tion and resolve the pending cases so that eligible
children can be placed in permanent homes,” the
official said in an e-mailed response to EurasiaNet’s
questions. “The Department will continue to en-
gage the Kyrgyz government on this issue.”
Bishkek, Dec 12 (RFE/RL) - The Kyrgyz Parliament
has amended the law on state language that
would require all paperwork in Kyrgyzstan’s diplo-
matic representations abroad to be completed in
Kyrgyz, RFE/RL’s Kyrgyz Service reports.
Roza Otunbaeva, a deputy of the opposition
Social Democratic Party and former foreign minis-
ter, proposed postponing the amendment on the
grounds that not all Kyrgyz diplomats are able to
communicate fluently in Kyrgyz.
The parliament majority nonetheless voted for
the amendment. Most Kyrgyz diplomats currently
use Russian in their official correspondence.
The constitution designates both Kyrgyz and
Russian as official languages. The legislation must
be signed by President Kurmanbek Bakiev before
taking effect.
Kyrgyz Analyst Beaten, Robbed In
Bishkek
Bishkek Dec 10 (RFE/RL) - A Kyrgyz political analyst
was severely beaten and robbed in Bishkek late on
December 9, RFE/RL’s Kyrgyz Service reports.
Four assailants attacked Aleksandr Knyazev
near his apartment and took his briefcase and
laptop.
Knyazev said one of the assailants shouted,
“That is for your politics!” as he left the scene of
the attack.
Knyazev is as a well-known political analyst
who has often criticized the foreign policy of Kyr-
gyzstan’s current government.
He is also the director of the Bishkek branch of
the Commonwealth of Independent States Insti-
tute.
www.thespektator.co.uk
 This Month 7
Georgia: the Simpsons come to
Tbilisi as the Samsonadzes
MOLLY CORSO

T
bilisi, Dec 8 (EurasiaNet) - Georgian zation Internews Georgia, Simpsons’ fans in Tbilisi
animators are hoping a local television expressed anger at what they perceived as an awk-
makeover of The Simpsons will mimic ward attempt to duplicate their favourite charac-
the American animated series’ two ters.
decades of success. But the show, The Irina Kharabashvili, the head of The Samsonadz-
Samsonadzes, walks a thin line between es’ animation team and designer of the characters,
originality and flat-out imitation of the world’s countered that the similarities with The Simpsons
best-known cartoon family. run just yellow-skin deep. Animators scrapped a
Shalva Ramishvili, the show’s producer and more regular shaded skin color when they found
creator, says that his idea was to create a program that the color left The Samsonadze characters bland
that is reminiscent of The Simpsons without being and washed-out, she explained. Five fingers were
an actual copy. “I like The Simpsons, too. It is a cult swapped for four as part of a standard animation
cartoon for the USA. We needed to do something technique to make characters appear funnier and
great, something that is different than everything distinct from a real person.
else,” said Ramishvili, who produced a political sat- Kharabashvili maintained that the series’ focus
ire cartoon TV series under ex-President Eduard on Georgian family and Georgian humor makes it
Shevardnadze. “In the [Georgian television] mar- distinct from The Simpsons, despite the charac-
ket, there is nothing like this series. There are no ters’ resemblance. Georgia is not the only country
cartoon series and we decided to do it.” to have fallen prey to Simpsons’ mania. YouTube
Launched six weeks ago on Imedi TV, The Sam- features clips of The Singhsons, a so-called Indian
sonadzes feature the bulging eyes, mustard-toned version of The Simpsons that contains fewer distinc-
skin, four-fingered hands and character move- tions from the American series.
ments reminiscent of their Georgia’s record
American counterparts. The ‘In a short clip filmed by the on observance of intel-
series’ opening shot - a cam- media assistance organization lectual property rights
era zooming down through creates a basis for lin-
the clouds into a candy-color- Internews Georgia, Simpsons’ gering controversy.
ed anonymous town - is more fans in Tbilisi expressed anger “Misunderstandings of Above What would Homer think of the Sam-
than a little reminiscent of the copyright and licensing sonadzes? (Library image)
presentation of The Simpsons at what they perceived as an are pervasive in Geor-
hometown of Springfield. awkward attempt to duplicate gia, where little appre- Articles used with permission from Eurasianet.
But story differences ex- ciation of intellectual Picture not included in original article.
ist. The Samsonadzes are a
their favourite characters.’ property rights exists,”
nuclear family in the Geor- contended Microsoft
gian sense: the father (Gela), mother (Dodo), Corporation representative Zurab Munjishvili, who
daughter (Shorena) and son (Gia) live with Gela’s has battled multiple local cases of alleged Microsoft
parents, a frequent occurrence in family-centric software piracy.
Georgia. While Gela shares Homer Simpson’s lim- Georgia is a post-Soviet country and the Geor-
ited intelligence - the first episode featured his gian mentality is a post-Soviet mentality, he said. “In
finding a job as a bank’s copy machine attendant the Soviet era, Georgians could not lay claim to indi-
- Dodo is a sexier, more aggressive take on quiet vidual copyrights the government took everything
Marge Simpson. from the people -- their intellect, too,” Munjishvili
Georgia’s Caucasus mountain range and the said.
family’s crazed parrot Koke -- not Bart Simpson The Washington, DC-based International Intel-
on a skateboard -- take center stage in The Sam- lectual Property Alliance, a collective of associations
sonadzes opening frames. Ramishvili said that the representing US industries frequently targeted by
openings resemblance to The Simpsons is deliber- international copyright violations, named music,
ate. “The first reaction is the most important. That software and movies as among the top problem
is why,” he said of The Samsonadzes introduction. areas for Georgia in a 2005 report. Two of the most
Neither Ramishvili nor Imedi TV discussed li- popular Georgian websites - http://www.avon.
censing issues with 20th Century Fox, the current ge and http://www.gol.ge - provide hundreds of
owners of the The Simpsons’ copyright. Ramishvili songs, films and cartoons for free downloads.
says that he does not see any need for a license But chief animator Kharabashvili said such
since The Samsonadzes are a family comedy, a uni- practices have nothing in common with The Sam-
versal genre that Fox cannot copyright. “If we were sonadzes: “It looks like [The Simpsons] and it is close
making The Simpsons, with the same personali- because the idea is about family. But it is nothing
ties, that would be different,” Ramishvili said. closer,” Kharabashvili said.
Visit:
A spokesperson for 20th Century Fox did not
http://baghdadfilmfestival.org/
respond to a request for comment in time for pub-
viewTFYFEj2LSbs&feature=youtube_gdata.
lication.
html for a preview of the Samsonadzes
Some local viewers argue otherwise. In a Editor’s Note: Molly Corso
short clip filmed by the media assistance organi- is a freelance reporter based in Tbilisi.

www.thespektator.co.uk December 2009 The Spektator

 8 Travel
Tibet
DREAMS
Over a thousand years ago, when the Kyrgyz were
a tall, pale, red haired people that lived in forests,
Tibet and China were great empires battling for
control of the Central Asian trade routes. Now,
with the tussle firmly decided in China’s favour,
Tibetan Buddhist culture faces a day to day strug-
gle against annihilation. John Fluharty, a pho-
tographer with a passion for the Himalayas, tells
of a trip he made to the region the year before the
2008 Olympics in Beijing.
December 2009 The Spektator
JOHN FLUHARTY
S
URROUNDED BY JUTTING, magiste-
rial peaks, Tibet, the famed ‘roof of the
world‘, is the Earth’s highest plateau. Ti-
betan Buddhism holds that the region
rested peacefully underwater while
the rest of the Earth was being created.
Then, with the blessing of the Bodhisattava of
Compassion, it emerged from it’s slumber, slowly
rising out of the waters to reveal the immense
mountains that throw jagged shapes at the
edges of its plains. Long shielded from the out-
side world by these structures, Tibet has always
been a land richly imagined and little known, an
enigmatic and dream-like place whose mysteries
were given further accent in the accounts of ex-
plorers, missionaries and diplomats - Old World
travellers who admired far more than they under-
stood. Once the impenetrable hub of a mountain
empire, it was only in the mid-1980s that Tibet
become truly accessible to the western lens, as
the government of the People’s Republic of China
(PRC) sought to cash in on a golden tourism op-
portunity by permitting foreign travel to the re-
gion. Lhasa, the capital, is situated in the Tsang
province of Tibet, at the country’s geographical
heart. There are three other regions: Ü, Amdo and
Kham.
I visited Tibet in 2007, as part of a private trek,
first paying a visit to Lhasa before continuing on
into the mountains directly east of the city. After a
long haul flight to China and a series of mainland
connections, I arrived at Lhasa airport, positioned
a fair distance from the city itself. Almost imme-
diately, the altitude which had so often broken
Chinese armies in the days when the two great
empires vied for control of the Silk Road, hit me
like a brick. I was reasonably fit, and even fetch-
ing my bags and carrying them to the taxi left me
winded. The hour long ride into the city made
me feel as if I had slipped back into my child-
hood bed, my father reading me ‘Lost Horizon’
- a novel about a group of travellers who stum-
ble upon Shangri-La - as I drifted off to sleep. The
path to Lhasa was brown and barren - just sheets
of ice and rocky outcrops, with hopeful patches
of grass interspersed along the way.
Will Lhasa last?
As I arrived in Lhasa, it was clear to see a recent
transformation had taken place. My first impres-
sions of the city were those of a forced moder-
nity; shiny steel and concrete structures that dif-
fered vastly from the architecture I had expected
to see. Moreover, the inhabitants were clearly
not Tibetan. This, I soon learned, was the Chi-
nese quarter of the city, built at breakneck speed
and a considerable cost over the past decade.
However, we quickly entered the ancient city.
The Potala Palace, historical home of the Dali
Lama, was pre-eminent, perched at the top of a
slope and distinguished from the other low lying
buildings of the city. It was nevertheless hum-
ble in its grandeur, stumpy in comparison to the
high rise buildings of the New Town and dwarfed
by the towering peaks that form the backdrop to
the capital.
Drepung monastery, the largest monastery
in the city, was the first place I visited. The mon-
astery was cavernous in its proportions, built
into the side of one of the rocky hems of the
Lhasa valley. Clearly large enough to be home to
thousands of monks, the eeriness was palpable.
www.thespektator.co.uk
 Travel 9

Only a handful of monks were actually present. I One of the most pleasing days I had in Lhasa
found that the monastery had been nearly emp- was spent observing communal prayer at an un-
ty for years, with its original inhabitants - closely assuming nunnery. Following the vacuous, ster-
affiliated to the exiled Dalai Lama - de-robing in ile atmosphere in the valley monasteries and the
favour of some more sullen, ’on message’ monks. Potala Palace, the unrestricted, playful laughter
The same eeriness was also apparent at the of the nuns was a source of immense relief for
Potala Palace as large crowds of me. Initially, Lhasa ap-
tourists were slowly shepherd- ‘The fundamental nature pears to embody the dis-
ed through the intricate pas-
sageways once inhabited by
of art within the Tibetan tress of a proud people
colonized, its recent and
countless monks and members Buddhist culture is one of cosmetic transforma-
of the Tibetan government. I complexity and meticulous- tion revealing itself like a
tried to imagine these corridors
of power - spiritual if not politi-
ness, qualities borne out in rash on ancient skin. But
hopping off the beaten
cal - buzzing as they had in the both the construction and track proved extremely
past, but the overriding image embellishment of monas- rewarding. I came to
of government controlled tour- teries in the region.’ learn that however diffi-
ism was far too dominant. cult their circumstances,
Lhasa has a bustling mar- a Tibetan is always capa-
ket, full of both merchandise for Tibetans and ble of a broad smile and a belly laugh, especially
foreigners. There were a number of shops where within the sanctuary of a remote convent.
one could buy chupas, the traditional clothing.
Dzi is a rare Tibetan bead made by secret means, A World of Art
and none of the locals I quizzed could shed any After a few days in Lhasa, I began to edge my way
light on the intricate handiwork that make the into the country proper. Phenpo Chu Valley, a
beads one of the ultimate souvenirs a foreigner few hours to the east of Lhasa was my first desti-
can bring home from Tibet. The manufacture of nation. Tibet in the summer is surprisingly green.
the beads which have Buddha’s eyes on them - There are almost no trees, as the plateau’s eleva-
looking out for the wearer for good luck - is a par- tion doesn’t allow them to take root, however
ticularly secretive matter, and my efforts to get many of the mountains in the lower regions and
to the bottom of their mystery in a split second most of the valleys are covered in grass. Rising up Top Left Cave monastery, Phenpo-Chu valley.
were politely rebuffed. Many dzi beads are for from the valley floor are gentle, bosom shaped (John Fluharty)
sale in the market, however there is a big differ- hills. As with the Potala in Lhasa, there are often
ence between the ‘real’ ones and most of the oth- monasteries settled at the summit of the small
ers, with the real beads often costing hundreds hills, providing focal points along the valleys Above Nuns outside the Potala Palace. (John
of US dollars. that stretch out like perfectly carved bowls. One Fluharty)

www.thespektator.co.uk December 2009 The Spektator

 10 Travel
Top Left A philosophy session begins in the
Drigung monastery, Reting. (John Fluharty)
Top Right A young monk stands amongst the
rubble of a partly destroyed monastery. (John
Fluharty)
Bottom A boy poses infront of a thousand
miniature Buddhas. Their production is in-
tended to bring clarity and peace of mind dur-
ing meditation. (John Fluharty)
monastery was balanced on top of a very narrow
steep slope with a vertical drop the other side,
effectively built into the side of a cliff. Seem-
ingly in the middle of nowhere, it was a perfectly
square, wooden structure perched in an almost
impossible position, completely secluded from
any disruption to the monk’s daily routine of
prayer and philosophical debate. This attempt
to achieve balance in spite of the physical chal-
lenges imposed by its surroundings seemed the
very embodiment of religious dedication, as well
as the Tibetan struggle with empire, modernity
and self.
The monks in this particular monastery were
concerned with the continuous construction of
miniature Buddhas as a means of meditation. So
much of Tibetan Buddhist meditation relies on
the scrupulous production and reproduction of
tangible art. The process, rather than the prod-
uct, is meant to lead to a degree of clarity within
meditation. Mandalas or sand paintings - which
often take weeks to create - are meant to be a
representation of the impermanent nature of
life. Thankas, similarly, are paintings that deco-
rate the walls of the religious buildings in Tibet,
recalling moments in Buddha‘s life, or telling of
the path to enlightenment. The fundamental na-
ture of art within the Tibetan Buddhist culture is
one of complexity and meticulousness, qualities
borne out in both the construction and embel-
lishment of monasteries in the region.
Following the time spent around the Phen-
po area of Tibet, I made my way further north-
east to the Reting area, where the Reting mon-
astery, renowned within Tibet as a monastery
responsible for the education and guardianship
of previous Dali Lamas, is situated. Given the
political climate in the country it was not pos-
sible to visit, however, one can camp on a hill
overlooking the building without being unduly
harassed. Another hike yielded another nunnery,
December 2009 The Spektator
once more located in an unfathomable corner
of the Himalaya. Further up from Reting, tucked
into the crevice of two meeting mountains was
the intricate series of buildings which made up
the nunnery complex. The cliff on which they
were built was again daunting. When consider-
ing the architecture of these cliff monasteries,
I imagine the frightening prospect of having
to carry the heavy materials needed for their
construction on your back up sheer paths. I had
witnessed this personally some years before on
a trek in the Nepali Himalayas, in which I often
saw people carrying objects up to 3 or 4 times
their own weight on their spines, up through
the crosshatched switchbacks. A large pool ta-
ble which could only have been carried whole,
in a town 4000m above sea level, was a poign-
ant reminder of the strength needed to survive
and enjoy life at this altitude.
Once again, the nunnery was a joyous place
to visit, the nuns there beholding the sudden
appearance of blonde haired, blue eyed tour-
ists like myself with curiosity and once the ice
had broken, uproarious laughter. This contrast-
ed sharply with many monasteries in Reting,
which as in Lhasa, had either been destroyed
physically, or ‘streamlined’ to the extent that
only a skeleton staff of monks remained within
the complexes, in order to ensure their general
maintenance.
Feeding Time
One that had been left in a better physical and
moral condition, the Drigung monastery, lies
just east of the Reting area. Here, one of the
most important rituals in Tibetan Buddhist cul-
ture takes place; the ritual of ‘sky burial‘. Due to
the extremely hard soil, ground burials in Tibet
are impractical. There are relatively few ways to
deal with a body once someone has died. Bud-
dhism teaches that the body is only a vessel for
www.thespektator.co.uk
 Travel 11

the soul. Once someone has passed away the is a paste which is then eaten. Momos are the
body can be disposed of by dissecting it and general favourite of any foreigner visiting Tibet.
leaving it for birds - namely vultures - which Obviously adapted from Chinese cuisine, they are The Not-so-Silk Route:
Tibet from KG
come and watch while the monks dissect the special dumplings that are steamed and eaten
body. The vultures are kept at bay by whips until with a tomato and chilli based sauce. Finally, tea
the body is ready. After all the flesh and organs is an important part of the Tibetan diet. Generally
have been devoured by the hungry vultures, the made with black tea leaves, there are two kinds; China is best reached from southern Kyr-
bones are then crushed, mixed with flour and the more traditional ‘butter tea’ which is made gyzstan on a bus that goes from Osh to
once again fed to the birds. Once this process has with milk, black tea and yaks butter, and ‘sweet Kashgar. As of last summer it costs $75,
finished, nothing remains of the body. tea’ which is with sugar in place of the butter. not $50 as it used to be. It’s a rickety dou-
While I did not witness a burial myself, see- When I drifted off to sleep as a child listening ble-decker sleeper, and will be populated
ing the site where they are performed was suf- to my father read me stories of a far off land in the with Uighurs and Chinese immigrants who
ficient to understand the Ti- Himalayas, I could only won’t speak a word of Russian or English.
betan connection with death ‘After all the flesh and or- dream about what Tibet The trip took us 25 hours including about
and reincarnation. There is would be like. Even twenty 5 hours at the border because we caught
a large degree of openness gans have been devoured years ago, relatively little the Chinese at lunch time, plus swine flu
in Tibetan culture about life by the hungry vultures, the was known about the area checks, plus someone had smuggled an
and death. Buddhists do not bones are then crushed, compared to today. With orchard in the guts of the bus.
need to fear death, as they
believe they will be reincar-
mixed with flour and once the expansion of coloniza-
tion of Lhasa, the ease of
You can taxi/hitch this for about the
same price, or just fly to Urumqi. At the
nated in another body in the again fed to the birds.’ information flow via the time of writing there was a temporary ban
next life. Their understand- internet, and the work of on non-Chinese people travelling inde-
ing of death seems both more realistic than that television documentaries, it is apparent that Ti- pendently in Tibet, and though we weren’t
of other cultures, and less detached, for even af- bet is a quickly changing country with a rapidly hassled all the time for permits, there re-
ter the beloved have passed away, it is believed expanding tourism sector fuelled by the boom in ally isn’t anyone travelling around without
that they are still making their way about the technology. So sharp is the contrast between the a 4x4. From Kashgar make your way to Xin-
universe somewhere, albeit inside another body. new and the old in Tibet, that it is hard to know ing, and if you’re going overland, certainly
Using Drigung as a base, I enjoyed a series how much longer the ancient culture will survive stop at Jiayuguan, the most western part
of hikes before returning to Lhasa for a few final as it has. The government of the People’s Republic of the Great Wall.
days in the city before flying back. Whilst adding of China maintains an openly antagonistic stance From Xining, get the train to Lhasa.
a sense of symmetry to my trip, it also gave me towards some of the earliest customs this culture You’ll need to get a permit first from a tour
the opportunity to savour the sights, sounds and has produced, the ‘sky burial’ amongst others, and company and book a tour. You’ll be met in
most importantly, tastes of this unique country. there is little love lost between the two peoples. I Lhasa by a guide. I used Tibetanconnec-
Tibetan food for example, is exceptional in that watched the images of unrest that prefaced the tions.com who provided a laid back, semi-
it is made entirely above the tree line. The fact 2008 Olympics in Beijing with horror, clips of strife informative service. Tibetanconnections
that almost nothing grows makes it extremely and distress captured on camera, then beamed is based in Lete Youth Hostel, an excel-
difficult to carry on what would be considered into Western living rooms via CNN. But to visit this lent facility guarded by a heartbreakingly
a “normal” diet. The staple diet is what is called country at any point is undoubtedly a privilege, beautiful receptionist.
tsampa, which is ground barley - one of the few and for all the hours I spend worrying about its
crops readily available - mixed with yak’s milk people, I don’t dream about Tibet enough. Information provided by Evan Harris
tea. When combined in this fashion, the result

www.thespektator.co.uk December 2009 The Spektator

14 Travel

Something
for the
Kids

T
ROB MARKS

For ex-pat parents in child unfriendly Bishkek, the HIRD-WORLD LIVING with first-world this way. The Bishkek-based Kulikov family, long
‘golden arches’ of McDonalds and the ice cream infants has never struck me as a par- renowned for their speciality cakes and biscuits,
factory at Pizza Hut can seem a universe away. ticularly good idea. I found myself have now turned their attention to creating a
Rob Marks reviews ‘Chudo Ostrov’, a family run rather bemused by the section of my sanctuary of innocence and play (not to mention
eatery unashamedly indulgent of children. Central Asia guidebook devoted to palatable food and scrupulously clean toilets) at
advice on travelling with offspring, as it abruptly the heart of an otherwise indifferent city. ‘The Is-
pronounced a total absence of the sort of facili- land of Miracles’ (Chudo Ostrov), as their cafe on
Top: Deformed, but child friendly creatures ties that make even the smallest amount of time the top floor of ‘Dyetski Mir’ (formally Silk Way)
decorate the walls of Chudo Ostrov. spent with a child bearable. on Propect Chui is called, is a dedicated chil-
I cast my mind a long way back to a trip up dren’s cafe. With a special children’s menu and
Below: Don’t leave without trying the melon the Amazon river from some desolate village, an in-house play area, they certainly understand
milkshakes. where an American missionary and her three chil- their market. Pirates and fantastic animals adorn
dren were desperately trying to join our boat. By the walls, along with aquariums of tropical fish
the time they had navi- and heaps of toys, with
gated the rotting twenty- ‘The owners have aimed for which the children are
foot long gangplank with quality in service and have hit free to let off steam at a
their wheelie suitcases suitable distance from
and colouring books all the mark. For the first time in a their watching parents
the plum places on the local cafe my chips didn’t arrive The owners have
deck had already been aimed for quality in serv-
taken, and they were half an hour after I’d finished ice and have hit the mark.
forced to hunker down my main course.’ For the first time in a local
below decks. Spending 5 cafe my chips didn’t arrive
days and nights on the floor space by that stink- half an hour after I’d finished my main course, and I
ing engine, and sharing that same space with a was even given a little bowl of ice to cool my drink
motley of other less fortunate characters will down with. The menu is solidly Russo-Asian and
probably not be a childhood experience they re- of good quality, but it’s with the cakes and sweets
member fondly. that it really shines, with clever takes on European
Similarly, it’s a tall order to bring a European classics employing fresh local ingredients such as
child to the villages of Kyrgyzstan and expect walnuts and alpine strawberries. The melon milk-
them to survive for any length of time. Firstly shakes deserve a special reccomendation.
there’s the trauma of teaching them to crap into The business lunch menu draws an older,
a hole in the ground without falling into several less boisterous crowd (mercifully the children are
meters of human excrement. Heaven forbid they all at school at this time), providing three courses
ever get ill, for while a vinegar sponge bath or and a drink for a very reasonable 200 som.
pepper-vodka cocktail may work wonders for the After that, if your children haven’t already
local metabolism, such remedies have a more-de- drunk too much cola, you can take them down to
structive-than-constructive effect on unseasoned the ground floor, where cake decorating parties
Western constitutions. And then there’s the food can be organised. Judging from what we saw,
- no friendly, familiar turkey twizzlers here. En- children here are quite keen on this rather unor-
tertainment? Unless they like throwing rocks at thodox activity and since the cake will be from
farm animals or can play Counterstrike to a high the Kulikov bakery, you won’t have any qualms
enough standard, there isn’t a lot for your chil- about eating it, even if it ends up looking like it
dren to do outside of school. As opposed to the was decorated by a colour-blind drag artist. At
ever plentiful, often empty leisure time thrust on the end of a long, fun, family day out, Chudo Os-
their Western counterparts, many children here trov deserves two chocolate smeared thumbs up
are expected to direct their spare hours towards for providing children with their own cafe expe-
helping the family. rience in Bishkek, an experience that adults too
But not everybody in Kyrgyzstan sees things won’t labour to enjoy.

December 2009 The Spektator www.thespektator.co.uk

 16 Focus
Adopt
a
Babushka
In view of the promised rises in heating and elec-
tricity costs, 2010 threatens to be an unhappy year
for Kyrgyzstan’s old and vulnerable. Natalya Wells
investigates the work of an organization trying to
lighten the load of the country’s seniors.
Top: Teatime during a session with Babushka
Adoption Foundation’s Home Visiting Service.
(Natalya Wells)
Top right: A small livestock gift can make the
world of difference to a poor household in
southern Kyrgyzstan. (Natalya Wells)
December 2009 The Spektator
R
NATALYA WELLS
IMA USED TO BE ONE of those babush-
kas who sell their meagre belongings on
the pavement, a sadly familiar sight in
Bishkek. She was not always destitute, or
even poor. In fact, Rima had a successful
career culminating in a high position at the Ministry
of Public Utilities with responsibility for all of Kyr-
gyzstan’s state hotels, including Hotel Kyrgyzstan,
which is now the Hyatt. Divorced and childless, Rima
saved most of her earnings in order to purchase a
more comfortable apartment for her old age. Her
retirement, however, coincided with Kyrgyzstan’s
independence and she found herself amongst the
first swell of elders to be pensioned off under the
new republic, with devastating consequences.
When the Kyrgyz Republic replaced the rouble
with the Kyrgyz som, the rate was set at 200 roubles
to 1 som, making Rima’s savings in roubles virtu-
ally worthless overnight. Inflation reached 1000%
and the value of the som steadily declined. Many
banks went bankrupt and dissolved, taking with
them what was left of many people’s life savings.
The Soviet pension system and many other social
services fell into disarray as the country focused on
self-government. To make matters worse, Rima was
shocked to find that her pension had been calcu-
lated incorrectly. The military company for which
she had worked for most of her life collapsed along
with the Soviet Union and claimed to have lost all
its archives, meaning that Rima could not obtain
proof of the bulk of her employment history. There-
fore, her pension was based only on her two years at
the Ministry of Public Utilities, resulting in a miserly
monthly payment of 17 som, then the equivalent
of US$4. Rima was forced to return to the work-
force at a time when the fledgling republic was in
economic shambles, and despite her engineering
qualifications the only employment she could find
at such an age was as a cleaner, earning 300 som
per month. She lasted four years.
Despite the blow to her retirement plans after
a productive and dedicated working life, Rima, now
71, is stoic and accepting of her circumstances. “I’ve
always been a cheerful person”, she says, and her
‘smile wrinkles’ and frequent laughter testify to this
assertion. She does not feel a need for the finer
things in life – she indicates her carefully-main-
tained clothes that were purchased in the 1980s –
and instead treasures her friendships. Rima’s only
regret is that despite having travelled all over the
former Soviet Union when she worked for the mili-
tary company, she has never been abroad.
A Helping Hand
Rima would eventually have sold all her posses-
sions and been reduced to begging in the streets
had she not heard about Babushka Adoption
Foundation, a Kyrgyz NGO, via a friend. Through
Babushka Adoption Foundation, Rima was ‘adopt-
ed’ in 2004 by a sponsor whose financial contribu-
tion supplements her small pension, so that she
can afford life’s basic necessities. The Babushka
Adoption Foundation adoption program, which
has been running for 10 years, matches sponsors
from all over the world with babushkas like Rima.
Despite some of the progress made in the Kyr-
gyz Republic in its 18 years of independence, the
social safety net provided during Soviet times has
never been refashioned, and the pension system in
particular is far from adequate. The Kyrgyz Repub-
lic National Statistics Committee calculated the
average minimum monthly cost of living for pen-
sioners in Bishkek at 3,200 som in 2009. In compari-
son, the average monthly pension rate this year is
www.thespektator.co.uk

only 2,120 som and pensions are not always paid
on time. Babushka Adoption Foundation sponsors
help bridge the disparity between incomes and
the cost of living. Every two months, Babushka
Adoption Foundation disburses funds from spon-
sors to their adopted beneficiaries in Bishkek, and
also to pensioners in Leilek district (Batken oblast).
These cash transfers enable the babushkas to pay
for electricity, gas or coal, medicines and other es-
sentials that they might otherwise go without.
Nevertheless, the rising costs of living con-
tinue to widen the gap between the poor and the
nouveau riche, exposing more and more elderly
people to the risk of extreme poverty. The Food
and Agriculture Organization recorded an 80% in-
crease in the price of flour and a 20% rise in the
cost of cooking oil in Kyrgyzstan last year. During
that time the cost of gas, which is factored into
the price of just about every commodity, rose by
80%, according to ACTED. And late this year the
Kyrgyz government announced a massive increase
in utilities tariffs: 200% for electricity and 500% for
hot water.
Making Contact
Babushka Adoption Foundation also runs a Home
Visiting Service for their beneficiaries with mobil-
ity difficulties, funded with the assistance of the
International Women’s Club of Bishkek. Through
this program Babushka Adoption Foundation so-
cial workers deliver money, bring groceries, run er-
rands, and assist with household chores. They also
represent an important link with the outside world.
I accompanied social worker Gula to Galina’s
house on one of her regular visits. On some days
Gula gives Galina a bath; today she is cleaning
her one-room apartment. Gula first stops by an
www.thespektator.co.uk
pharmacy to purchase Galina’s medication. Galina
is wheelchair-bound and has been confined to her
third-floor apartment for years. She also has bad
eyesight. Her only daughter married and moved to
Russia and she has no one to care for her.
I wonder how Galina got from her bed to her
wheelchair, but don’t know that I should ask. The
large bag of adult diapers answers my question
about how she manages with the tiny toilet, and
also explains the unpleasant odour that pervades
the small apartment. Galina chatters away while
Gula mops the floor around her, and it is obvious
that she values her company as much as her practi-
cal assistance. She asks Gula to take a salve to her
friend, another of Babushka Adoption Foundation’s
beneficiaries. After cleaning, Gula checks the water
‘A deaf and mute babushka’s
face lights up when she sees Almaz
enter her gate, and he explains in
sign language that she and her
husband will receive a sheep.’
meter and writes down the reading on the small
chalkboard on the door. As we bid goodbye, I feel
much concern for Galina’s safety, living alone with
limited mobility and vision.
Many of the needy babushkas in Bishkek are
ethnic Russians. The large-scale emigration of work-
ing-age Russians during Kyrgyzstan’s difficult post-
independence transition left many elderly relatives
struggling to cope on their own. Babushka Adop-
tion Foundation’s eligibility rules stipulate that ba-
bushkas should be childless, or at least have no chil-
Focus 17
dren who can care for them. The traditional large
family networks common in Central Asian cultures
act as a safeguard for relatives who would other-
wise be left vulnerable, despite the fact that large
numbers of Kyrgyz also moved abroad in search of
better employment opportunities.
Life’s harder in the South
However, not even close-knit family ties can protect
some elderly Kyrgyz and Uzbeks from a difficult old
age, especially in Batken oblast. Batken, where Ba-
bushka Adoption Foundation has a branch office,
is the most remote oblast in Kyrgyzstan. Formerly
the site of a thriving coal industry, unemployment
and poverty are now rampant here. Consequently,
Babushka Adoption Foundation registers many
babushkas in Batken who have children they are
in contact with, since their children are invariably
unemployed and unable to provide sustenance for
either their parents or themselves. In many cases,
entire extended families live off a babushka’s tiny
old-age pension.
Batken’s physical isolation from the bulk of
the country, combined with a very low level of de-
velopment, ensures a subsistence-level existence
for the majority living in this very rural southern
region. Once an oblast that provided energy for
other parts of Kyrgyzstan, coal and cow dung are
now used in tandem for heating homes and water.
Few houses have running water and agriculture,
the mainstay of Batken’s economy, is difficult due
to lack of irrigated water. Hospitals here are more
poorly equipped than anywhere else in Kyrgyzstan.
For the people of this area, Babushka Adoption
Foundation’s self-sufficiency projects represent a
welcome source of relief.
December 2009 The Spektator
 18 Focus
Above: Gula helps weelchair-bound Galina Babushka Adoption Foundation has set up Self-
with a spot of paperwork. (Natalya Wells)
Top Right: The very grateful recipients of a to start small businesses with the donation of start-
sheep in Batken oblast. (Natalya Wells)
Get Involved
For those interested in adopting, you can
choose whether you prefer a babushka (eld-
erly woman) or dedushka (elderly man), and
Babushka Adoption Foundation will send
you a profile, including a short biography
and photograph.
Adopting a babushka for the period of one
year costs €150. From this annual amount,
€20 will be given at six 2-monthly intervals
to your adoptee in Kyrgyz som, and €30
goes to the running costs of the organiza-
tion – salaries, utilities, internet and postal The program is self-perpetuating, as one offspring
expenses. Payment can be made in cash at
their office or into one of four bank accounts babushka.
(information available on their website).
For more information about Babushka
Adoption Foundation:
• Visit: www.babushkaadoption.org
• Email: babushka@elcat.kg or call:
(+996 312) 48-64-90
• Visit the office at 39 Moskovskaya #5,
Bishkek
December 2009 The Spektator
Help Groups among its beneficiaries in villages
throughout Batken oblast, and some have decided
up materials, such as sewing machines and kitch-
enware. The cooking group has been contracted
to supply the local school with meals for a govern-
ment nutrition program that provides students
with free breakfasts. The sewing group sells its
products at the local bazaar and takes advance or-
ders for local girls’ dowries. It is also keeping tradi-
tional handicraft practices alive, and many young-
er members of the community seek training from
the babushkas. The profits from these endeavours
are returned to the groups (the sewing group pur-
chased more sewing machines) and used to help
out the elderly in their villages. Babushka Adoption
Foundation has been fortunate in receiving grants
from Asia Universal Bank (AUB) for the develop-
ment of the Self Help Groups.
In partnership with GTZ (a German technical
development agency), Babushka Adoption Foun-
dation also runs a program called Help to Help
Themselves, which aims to provide the elderly in
Batken oblast with sustainable income-generation
opportunities. Last year the two organizations
donated goats, and this year sheep, to babush-
kas who have the capability to raise livestock. The
beneficiaries can use or sell the milk and wool,
as well as the young after each breeding season.
from each animal is passed on to another eligible
Almaz, the head of the Batken branch office, is
a local hero among the elderly. He makes his way
through a gauntlet of kisses and prayers to ad-
dress a group of babushkas who have gathered at
a chaikhana for the two-monthly money distribu-
tion. He jokes with each babushka and dedushka
as he counts out the som notes and gets their
signature. Then he presents sheep to the selected
beneficiaries. Later, we visit recipients at home,
who for one reason or another are not able to
come to the meeting place. A deaf and mute ba-
bushka’s face lights up when she sees Almaz enter
her gate, and he explains in sign language that she
and her husband will receive a sheep.
A Mission with a Meaning
Back at the branch office, a reserved and digni-
fied old man arrives to collect a parcel. Sometimes
sponsors form a personal relationship with their
adopted babushka, through letters and photos or
presents for special occasions. This man’s sponsor
in Denmark has sent practical items like teabags,
packet soups and warm socks. Almaz takes a photo
of the man with his open parcel to email to the
sponsor; he seems overwhelmed by the parcel and
the fuss.
The very capable staff at the Babushka Adop-
tion Foundation head office in Bishkek translate let-
ters between babushkas and sponsors to and from
English and Russian. They even organize meetings
for those sponsors who wish to visit their adopted
babushka, and act as interpreters. Currently Ba-
bushka Adoption Foundation has 630 sponsors
who have ‘adopted’ more than 900 babushkas. The
vast majority of the sponsors are foreigners, with
the Swiss and the Danish topping the list by far, fol-
lowed by the Dutch.
But Babushka Adoption Foundation’s director,
Aidai, is keen to involve more local Kyrgyz, espe-
cially the business and governing elite, in their mis-
sion to restore some dignity to the lives of the eld-
erly. “We hope to get 500 Kyrgyz sponsors to adopt
a babushka next year”, she says.
The target is ambitious, but necessary. The glo-
bal financial crisis has resulted in fewer sponsors
this year, and Babushka Adoption Foundation can-
not compete indefinitely for empathy among indi-
vidual charity supporters. Aidai wants the Kyrgyz
people to recognise the unjust circumstances that
the elderly find themselves in, and make a proac-
tive commitment to improving them.
www.thespektator.co.uk
 20 Focus
FAT
of the
Land
A skinny man scorned in the land of lipids, Evan
Harris has a major beef with regional dietary
habits. Take note, this article carries a govern-
ment health warning.
Top Left The phrase ‘fatted calf’ takes on a new
meaning at some of the city’s most gruesome
meat markets. (Evan Harris)
Top Right Osh bazaar’s infamous‘ offal cur-
tains’ are heart attacks in waiting, according to
Rashid the cardiologist. (Evan Harris)
Below Chinese Aristocrat Lady Weng's
thoughts en route to a marriage with an
Uighur Kaghan.
I have left my beautiful country, China,
And have been taken to the nomad’s camp.
My clothing is of coarse felt and furs
I must force myself to eat their rancid mutton
Lady Weng 3rd Century AD
December 2009 The Spektator
I
EVAN HARRIS
N THE GREAT CARVE-UP which followed dining companion, gesturing at the remaining
the collapse of the Soviet Union, Turk- slices of horse intestine sausage, last remnants
menistan was bequeathed gas and a crazy of a dish of besh barmak. The first tasting went
President, Kazakhstan oil and giant ap- badly. The contrast between the melt in your
ples, while Uzbekistan was left a sum of mouth fat wad and elastic band intestine fell foul
gold, an even greater sum of cotton and of my gag reflex. “Yeah I’m done”. Spreading the
the coolest cities in Central Asia. Poor Kyrgyzstan, sickly mutton tang closer to my nostrils in an at-
who along with Tajikistan was the country which tempt to wipe my mouth, it’s easily understood
could least afford to ‘go solo’ and break free of that Kyrgyzstan suffers the 10th highest heart
Moscow’s grasp, had to make do with mountains disease rate in the world and the world’s high-
and mounds upon mounds of fatty meat. But est rate of strokes. The World Health Organisa-
make do they did and almost two decades later, tion estimates 38% of the population could es-
the national enthusiasm cape an early death by
for dishes which are os- “Spreading the sickly mut- avoiding tobacco, doing
tensibly harmful to the exercise and changing
human organism contin- ton tang closer to my nostrils, their diet. Rashit, a doc-
ues unabated, particu- it’s easily understood that Kyr- tor in the cardiology unit
larly amongst the older
generations. Not that
gyzstan suffers the 10th high- of one of Bishkek’s big-
gest hospitals, doesn’t
this should be of any par- est heart disease rate in the doubt the impact of
ticular surprise. Dubious world and the world’s highest traditional food. “We tell
cuts of meat have been our patients they must
a massive part of life in rate of strokes.” change their diet. Re-
the Trans-Oxanian region duce intake of salt and
for millennia now, as evidenced in one Chinese fat. Also they mustn’t eat animals’ internal or-
noblewoman’s poem ‘Eighteen refrains to a Bar- gans.” I’m surprised by this last comment. I didn’t
barian flute’, penned during her journey to a mar- realise offal was particularly unhealthy, just par-
riage of alliance beyond the Empire’s Northern ticularly revolting. Rashit shows me a nutrient
frontier. Oil, grease, jelly, opaque white blocks on table demonstrating that 100g of liver or kidney
the market stall, juicy golden rind clinging to the has up to five times as much cholesterol as the
bovine hunk, this is their culinary tradition, their equivalent piece of steak. The table is used to
substance of choice, their comfort food in times educate people of the dangers of their fat abuse,
of crisis. But as the infrastructure which once sup- but the message is yet to penetrate society. The
ported such widespread consumption slowly aisles of the meat hall in the city’s main bazaar
recedes, the unrestrained joy with which two are lined with grotesque offal curtains, the floor
middle aged baikes tuck into their fifth round of is slick with blood. Behind hanging lines of intes-
shashlyk disguises an unpalatable truth: the Kyr- tine a woman is firmly crushing garlic and black
gyz Republic is dying of heart disease. pepper into an enormous roll of fat clinging to
“Are you sure you don’t want this?” asks my a sliver of red. “This is horse meat” she says, “For
www.thespektator.co.uk
 Focus 21

To Hell with
besh barmak." “Is it tasty?” I ask, remembering ing replaced by those of the West. All over the
that awful combination of textures at my friend’s city, fast food kiosks are popping up like chrome

Heart Disease!
house. “Of course”. “Is it healthy?” “Of course, it is blisters serving cholesterol, although Rashit of-
traditional food”. fers some optimism for the future. He explains
Food is of great pride to the Kyrgyz and there that the Ministry of Health has a program to ed-
is an endemic superstition that all their national ucate and treat the populace, especially those in For those not of Lady Weng or Mr Harris’
products grant long life and glowing health to the provinces where healthcare and education delicate sensibilities, the following is a
the consumer. In reality the food is nearly always are at their weakest. Here in the city there is an recipe for besh barmak. Don’t spare the
fatty and occasionally salty enough to clot blood. education program and a drop in kitchen-lab fat and be sure you wash it down with a
Popular staple plov, is a dish of rice, carrot, and where people come to test the potential dam- bottle of Arpa or Karagandinskoya - enjoy!
mutton. Imagine a greasy, bland risotto. Main of- age their food can do to their arteries. Unfortu-
fender besh barmak, nately do-gooders face an Ingredients:
(meaning ‘five fingers’ ‘Main offender besh bar- uphill struggle; the forces of 2 kg lamb with bones,
after the traditional mak, is a plate of noodles globalization penetrating
2.5l of water,
method of eating),
is a plate of noodles
swimming in meat broth with Kyrgyzstan’s borders aren’t
bringing trendy salad bars,
1 teaspoon of salt,
swimming in meat chopped up mutton and if they’re bringing lowest 3 onions,
broth (read oil) with you’re lucky, horse intestine common denominator fast 1 cup of chopped chives,
chopped up mutton stuffed with fat.’ food. Haunted by tradition, 3 tablespoons of chopped parsley,
and if you’re lucky, those trying to stave off 1 teaspoon of ground black pepper,
horse intestine stuffed with fat. Imagine the nau- health meltdown are in danger of being over- 1 carrot,
seatingly persistent stench of sickly mutton fat whelmed by future fads. My cardiologist friend 3 tablespoons of oil
still lingering beyond the 8th vodka. Feel the fat is philosophical about the problem. “Has your Homemade noodles.
resist your efforts of mastication. A friend once job become more difficult?” I ask. “No, not more
demonstrated the tenacity of the fat here using difficult,” he smiles, "just less easy”. Instructions:

a spoon to scrape an opaque white paste from
the roof of his mouth; the effects of a misadven-
ture with some oromo, a kind of steamed meat
pie. At a man’s birthday party I was introduced to
nose to tail cuisine, my tolerance to vodka faring
much better than my tolerance to fat. Fighting
my impulse to chunder, I watched my hosts rip
through gristle and crunch cartilage. Luke warm,
festering slabs of fat sat atop cold slices of meat
like sadistic sashimi.
Thankfully I’m not alone in my fat phobia.
The younger city dwellers flinch at their ex-
treme gastronomic traditions. Unfortunately
the culinary faux pas of their ancestors are be-
www.thespektator.co.uk
Disclaimer
Whilst The Spektator is happy enough to give
Mr Harris a platform from which he can launch
his fat-scist polemic, we would like to state
that the views therein expressed are not our
own. We scoff our lagman and plov with reck-
less abandon, and particularly recommend
the fried manti at Faiza (restaurant guide p24).
Make a rich lamb broth, cooking until
meat comes easily off the bones. Remove
the bones and cut the meat into slices.
Cook noodle circles or squires in the
broth. In a heavy skillet, cook vegetables
until tender then add the meat and con-
tinue cooking until the onions are golden-
brown. In individual soup bowls, combine
the noodles, vegetables and lamb, pour
the broth over each serving.
Serve very hot.
December 2009 The Spektator
 THE GUIDE
Bars
restaurants
and
There’s a fine line between ‘bar’ and ‘restaurant’ in variety of unusual Chinese delicacies to throw in. Be-
Bishkek. Places more suitable for drinking sessions ware, the ‘spicy’ sauce, although delicious, may leave
are marked with a star *
Price Guide (main course and a garnish)
$ - Expect change from 150 som
$$ - A little over 200 should do the trick
$$$ - Expect to pay in the region of 350
$$$$ - A crisp 500 (or more) needed in this joint
American
Cowboy* (Toktogul/Orozbekova)
Bishkek’s all-American restaurant-cum-dance club
has now gone a little more up-market, but wild
nights are still to be had. Dig in to a kilo of chicken
wings and then hit the dance floor. $$$
Hollywood* (Druzhba/Sovietskaya)
As you would probably guess, decorated with
movie posters, photos of cinema icons and a
bunch of American kitsch. Hollywood is popular
with a younger crowd and is usually packed from
mid-evening onwards. A fun place for a few drinks
before heading off to the clubs. $$
Metro* (133, Chui)
In the impressive location of a former theatre, Met-
ro remains the première drinking hole for ex-pats.
A high ceiling, a long bar and friendly staff compli-
ment a good Tex-Mex menu and a wide selection
of drinks. Metro is one of the best bets for catch-
ing sporting events on TV, although thanks to the
hideously late kickoff times for Champions League
football matches, don’t count on the staff waiting
up unless it’s a big one. $$$
New York Pizza (177, Kievskaya)
Decorated with pictures of the Big Apple and serv-
ing a fine selection of steaks and other American-
themed dishes, NYP is sure to get New Yorkers
thinking of home. Also serves what many believe
to be the best pizza in town. $$$
Armenian
Landau (Manas/Gorky)
Fancy something a little different? If you can tol-
erate the arthritic service, Landau isn’t a bad spot
for a pork steak or some other Armenian culinary
goodies. Also, treat yourself to some decent Arme-
nian conjac whilst your here, you’ll never go near
Bishkek conjac again. Ever. $$$
Chinese
Ak-Bata (108, Ibraimova)
This place must serve up pretty authentic dishes
as it’s always full of Chinese playing mah-jong and
waving their chopsticks about. Smoky and stuffy,
but in a nice way. $
December 2009 The Spektator
Bishkek life
Chuchuara Hoga (117, Chui)
With this Chinese restaurant, a little out of the way
and rarely visited by tourists, you really feel you are
getting the real deal. Request a хого (your own per-
sonal Chinese boiling-pot) and randomly select a
delicate stomachs in some distress several hours later
- consider the ‘not-spicy’ sauce as a suitable alterna-
tive $$
Shaolin (Jibek Jolu/Prospect Mir)
This tidy looking restaurant sticks out for its sheer
range of oriental dishes and its large, round tables
that make it ideal for extended gatherings. $$
Peking Duck I & II
(Soviet/Druzhba & Chui/Tog. Mol.)
Huge portions to feed even the biggest of gluttons
and an English language menu that provides plen-
ty of amusing translations. $$
Dungan
Hui Min (Relocated to the Hotel Dostuk)
A former favourite, we have been told that Hui
Min has now relocated to the Hotel Dostuk. Ap-
parently the menu has been revamped and the
prices increased. The Spektator will be checking it
out soon. We hope they still serve the special Dun-
gan tea, as it’s rather good.
Georgian
Mimino (27, Kievskaya)
Re-opening soon we’re told, Mimino is nice, cosy and
serves up bowl-fulls of steaming, hearty Georgian fare
with pomegranate seeds a-plenty. We recommend the
kjadjapuri, khinkali and anything that’s served in a pot.
Watch out for Uncle Joe at the door. $$$
German
Steinbrau* (5, Gerzena)
Don your beer drinking trousers and head down to
Bishkek’s take on a Bavarian-style beer hall. They brew
their own stuff - such a relief from the insipid bilge
that’s normally sold as lager. Compliment your pint
with a plate of German sausage with sauerkraut. $$$
Uighur
Karavan (Almatinkskoya/Chui)
Excellent little stolvya (canteen) full of the timeless
regional favourites. Being an Uighur restaurant its
gero lagman or lagman pa Uighurski particularly
stand out. No smoking, sit, eat and leave. $
International
2x2* (Isanova/Chui)
Trendy drinking hole with a circular bar and
friendly staff. A good place for knocking back a
few pre-nightclub cocktails. Slouch into one of the
comfy lounge seats and try to look cool. $$$
Avant Gard (127, Sovietskaya)
We’re not so sure what’s so avant-garde about
Avant-Gard. They put candles on the tables in the
evenings, but there is a distinct lack of Parisian
Bohemians. Still, the food is fine and the relaxed
ambience means AG is a good place for a conver-
sation, or a debate on existentialism. $$
Beatles Bar* (Gorky/Sovietskaya)
A Beatles themed bar to make Bishkek scousers feel
at home. Huge screen outside for sporting events.
Shashlyk and cool beer. $$
Buddha Bar (Sovietskaya/Akhunbayeva)
Much anticipated, but yet to be investigated as The
Spektator is currently broke. Chilled out lounge mu-
sic and comfy furniture, any reviews welcome! $$$$
Captain Nemo’s (14, Togolok Moldo)
Small nautically themed restaurant with a selection
of evocatively named dishes including ‘Fish from
the ship’s boy’ and ‘Tongue from the boatswain’s
wife’. Cosy wooden interior and porthole style win-
dows create an underwater log cabin experience.
Spirits, cocktails and a good business lunch. $$$
Coffee House (9, Manas & Togolok Moldo/Ryskulova)
Treat yourself to some of the finest coffee and
cakes Bishkek has to offer at the imaginatively
named ‘Coffee House’, a cosy boutique café with a
European flavour. Curl up and read a book, or just
drop in for a caffeine hit and a chocolate fix. $$$
Concord (Alatoo Square)
Waiting staff dressed as airline stewards and an in-
terior featuring some aeronautical paraphernalia
attempt to lend a little glamour to this small diner
just off Ala-too Square. Good, cheap food and fur-
ther deals for lunch during midweek make this a
popular spot during the daytime. $$
Cosmo Bar* (Sovietska/Toktogul)
Board the sweet smelling elevator, ascend to the
top-floor Cosmo Bar and splash the cash with your
fellow free-spending cosmonauts. Elegant interior,
plush sofas, fancy drinks and pretty waitresses.
Huzzah! $$$$
Crostini (191, Abdrahmanova)
Situated inside the Hyatt Regency, this is a joint to
be reserved for a high end business lunch or mar-
riage proposal only. Renowned chef Taner Erdemir
serves up mouth-watering international cusine,
but at a price. $$$$
Doka Pizza* (153, Kievskaya)
More sexed up than its former Akhunbaeva sister
bar, there’s a strip bar downstairs, Doka Kievskaya
is often a post-party chillout venue for Bishkek’s
young, rich kids. Enjoy the good food, the lively
vibe, and the coquettish waitresses – just don’t
break your beer glass, there’s a stiff fine. Also
non-stop. $$$
www.thespektator.co.uk
 Bars, Restaurants & Clubs 23
Dillinger* (Gorky/Tynystanova) Navigator (103, Moskovskaya) Cyclone (136, Chui)
Glamorous VIP complex including a restaurant, bar A pricey, but pleasant place to while away an after- Smart Italian restaurant with plush interior, effi-
and casino. A decedantly decorated and perculiar- noon. Sit in the bar area over a beer or lounge in the cient, polite serving staff and a warm atmosphere
ly endearing homage to the notorious bank robber airy non-smoking conservatory. Attentive service to alleviate Bishkek’s winter chills. Pasta dishes
- we’re sure he would appreciate it. $$$$ and a refreshing selection of salads, a good place stand out among a menu of traditional Italian fa-
for a light, healthy lunch when fat and grease are vourites. $$$
Fatboy’s* (Chui/Tynastanova) getting you down. $$$$
Civilised, friendly cafe bang in the middle of town and
Stary Edgar’s* (15, Panfilova) Dolce Vita (116a, Akhunbaeva)
a popular ex-pat meeting point. Sensible spot for con-The concrete monstrosity of the Russian Theatre con- Cosy Italian restaurant with smiling waitresses
versation, but if you’re alone there’s a mini-library to pe-
ceals one of Bishkek’s finest attempts at a cosy base- serving excellent pizza. Also serves salads and
ruse (although literary classics are thin on the ground).
ment bar. Friendly staff, a decent menu and a collection European cuisine. Small terrace outside for sum-
Check out the American pancakes for breakfast, top of old bits and bobs decorating the walls make Edgar’s mertime dining. $$
marks. $$$ an attractive alternative to the city’s mainstream cafés.
Four Seasons (116a, Tynystanova) A blues band plays most nights and a pianist adds a ro- Japanese
One of the poshest places to eat out in Bishkek. El- mantic ambience on some Sunday evenings. $$$
egant, yet modern interior and polite service. Great Aoyama (93, Toktogula)
place to splash out on a special occasion or just for Sky Bar* (Razzakova/Moskovskaya) Elegant sushi joint frequented by serious looking
the hell of it. $$$$ Sky Bar opened only recently on the eleventh floor suited-types concluding their latest dodgy deals.
of a highrise but it already seems to have taken off The food’s excellent though - if you can scrape to-
Griffon (Microregion 7) - popular with a trendy crowd on most evenings. gether enough soms. $$$$
A cosy log-cabin affair with a large meat-roasting The windows offer fine views of the city, although
central fireplace. On one disturbing occasion the wouldn’t it be better if they faced the mountains Watari (Shevchenko, Frunze)
waiting staff were about as plesant as a bunch of rather than the grey sprawl of Bishkek? Decent food, A small Japanese-owned restaurant that serves
chavs, but hopefully that was a passing phase. even if the menu isn’t overly adventurous $$$$ sushi as well as dishes with a more indian flavour.
The refined atmosphere makes it ideal for a busi-
ness meeting or just a sophisticated night out $$$
Used English Books for Sale! U Mazaya (Behind ‘Zaks’ on Sovietskaya)
Possibly Central Asia’s only rabbit themed restaurant.
Authors available include: Baldwin, Bryson, Descend into this underground warren and tuck in. Korean
Camus, Childers, Dostoyevsky, Hemingway, Also check out the fairy-light adorned flagship sister-
rabbit-restaurant in Asenbai micro region. $$$ Petel (52, Zhykeeva Pudovkin)
Greene, Kazantzakis, Le Fanu, Murakami, Operating in the back room of a Korean fam-
Nietzsche, Orwell, Pelevin, Poe, Sebald, ily’s house, this is Korean style home-cooking at
Vavilon (Microregion 7) its most personal. Closed on Sunday. Ring: 0543
Zamyatin and many more!
Finely presented dishes, reasonably priced beer (60 922539 $$
All titles 100 som. For a full list email: som) genuinely friendly and attentive service and a
cacartoons@gmail.com music playlist that mixes up a bit of soul, jazz, swing Santa Maria (217, Chui)
and classical tracks played at just the right volume. Live Plush Korean restaurant offering Eastern favou-
Jam* (179, Toktogula) music from 8-ish on most evenings. Definitely worth rites, including exciting Korean barbecues where
An underground oasis of cool. Jam is a cafe with the trek out to the suburbs ( tell your taxi driver to turn you get to cook your own dinner, plus an extensive
a full menu and a lounge bar atmosphere, open left at the yuzhniy vorota and head towards Asenbai for European menu. $$$
till 3am . $$$$ about 1.5km) $$$
Jumanji (Behind the circus) Lebanese
It’s strange. This place is decorated with fake jun- Veranda* (Gorky/Soviet. Vefa Centre roof )
Beirut (Shevchenko/Frunze)
gle foliage and is based on a crap kids’ film yet still Wow, what a view. Eat rather decent international cui-
Now in a new location, Beirut continues to serve
sort of works. You also get to roll a pair of Jumanji sine whilst taking in a superb view of the mountains
enticing Lebanese goodies including falaffle, hu-
dice before you order for the chance to win a spe- from the 4th floor terrace above the Vefa centre. A
mus, and tasty little meat pie things. $$$
cial secret prize - we like this. $$$ great place for some outdoor summer dining. $$$$

Live Bar* (Kulatova/Pravda - near Ibiza club ) Moldovan

Twenty-four hour sports bar with live music at
weekends. Plenty of leather couches provide the
Indian Moldova Restaurant (Kievskaya/Turusbekova)
ideal place to sip cocktails whilst watching the The Host (Sovietskaya, opposite the Hyatt) If it’s been a while since you last went out for a
Champions league at three in the morning. $$$$ A varied and interesting menu including fine In- Moldovan, this wooden paneled, sturdy-tabled
dian food make this place a real treat. On midweek eatery may be the answer to your prayers. Also,
Lounge Bar* (338a, Frunze) the Moldovan Embassy is next door should you
One of our favourite places to drink in the Sum- days there are also several excellent business care to learn more about the world’s favourite
mertime, when we can afford it. Outdoor balcony- lunch deals offering a soup, salad, main course budget-wine exporting country. $$$
cum-terrace high above the street with slouch- and dessert for 250-350 som. A real stand out and
couches and fine veiws of the circus - which you a Spektator favourite! $$$$
can sometimes smell in hot weather. Nice. $$$ Regional/Central Asian
Meri (33, Gorkova) Italian Arabica* (Sovietskaya/Kulatova)
In the summer months, Meri has one of the prettiest Adriatico (219, Chui) Descend the steps into an aromatic cloud of hooka
dining areas in Bishkek. International cuisine served Classy restaurant with it’s own Italian chef. Great smoke. The music’s normally reasonably decent
24 hours a day, more lively nights see jiving on the pizza, improved service, and a fine selection of chilled out sort of stuff, the food’s good, and the
dance floor to all your favourite Kyrgyz pop tunes. pasta dishes. $$$ waitresses smile. At me, anyway. $$$

Spektator
$$$
THE

.co.uk
Find the best bars in town with the Spektator and thespektator.co.uk

www.thespektator.co.uk December 2009 The Spektator

 24 Bars, Restaurants & Clubs
Arzu-II (Sovietskaya/Lev Tolstoy bridge)
Twenty-four hour joint that’s a godsend for those
who get cravings for lagman or manty at four in
the morning. Sometimes smoking isn’t allowed,
sometimes it is, however the food and prices are
constantly pretty good. Comfy booth style seats
to dig yourself into after a heavy night. $$
Arzu-I (Togolok Moldo, next to the stadium)
Offers a hearty selection of Kyrgyz and European
dishes and a homely atmosphere. It’s probably a
little too chilly for al fresco dining these days, but
there’s also a great outdoor terrace. $$
Forel (Vorentsovka village)
Twenty minutes outside of Bishkek, Forel is a fish-
based ‘relaxation centre’ set amongst babbling
streams and offering fine veiws of the mountains. Fish
your own trout out of a pool and have it deep fat fried
for your pleasure. Only salads, bread, tea and juice are
sold on site but you are welcome to bring any booze
or garnish you desire, it’s also possible to rent a BBQ.
Turkish Arbat (9, Karl Marks)
Tel. 512094; 512087
Carlson (166, Sovietskaya) Smart ‘elite’ club popular with a slightly older
A good outdoor terrace and some hearty food, but crowd. Strip bar and restaurant in same building.
the Karaoke style crooners who provide evening (Entrance charge 200/350 som midweek, 350/450
entertainment are an acquired taste. $$ som Fri/Sat. Strip bar 700 som)
Huzur (Kievskaya/Togoluk Moldo,) City Club (85/1, Zhukeyeva-Pudovkina)
Convivial proprietor Ali claims to have Steven Ger- Tel. 511513; 510581
rard’s 2005 Champion’s League winning Liverpool So exclusive it makes the Spektator crowd feel like
shirt. If you don’t believe that, belive in free lipy- cheap scum bags, City Club is one of the posh-
oshka and good, affordable Turkish cuisine. $$ est clubs in town. Get past the ‘face control’ (ugly
people beware) and spend your evening with
Konak (Sovietskaya/Gorkova)
This Turkish joint used to be ‘Restaurant Camelot’ gangster types, lecherous diplomats, Kazakh busi-
hence the incongruous suits of armour in the back nessmen and a posse of young rich kids who all
room, and the rather crappy castle facade. However, seem to have studied in London. (Entrance charge:
the food is often great, the salads are large and fresh, girls 200/boys 300, Fri/Sat girls 300/boys 500
and the staff are always pleasant. Recommended!
Golden Bull (Chui/Togolok Moldo)
(And now open 24 hours a day) $$
Tel. 620131
Night A Bishkek institution. Full of ex-pats and tourists

Clubs
literally every night of the week. Long bar, friendly
To get there take a taxi to Vorentsovka village and, if
staff, cheapish beer, everyone’s happy. (Entrance
your taxi driver doesn’t know the exact location, ask a
charge [girls/boys] free/400 midweek, 150/400 Fri/
friendly villager. Trout is 800som/kilo $$$
Sat. ‘Foreigners’ free.)
Jalalabad (Togolok Moldo/Kievskaya) There are some Bishkek old-hands who say that Ibiza (9, Kulatova)
Basically the cheapest food (that won’t give you gut things aren’t what they used to be when it comes A cavernous space with a large dance floor. Danc-
rot) in the centre of town. While it should stand out to nightlife in Bishkek. They talk of legendary nights ers suspended on platforms 15 feet above the
for its fresh lagman, Jalalabad is sometimes over- of carnage, vomit, and debauchery - delights that floor, strobe lighting, smoke machines and bang-
looked. Probably at its best in summer, when the contemporary Bishkek struggles to offer. ing dance tunes. Bishkek’s (half-arsed) attempt
shashlyk masters flanking the entrance offer their Not so, we say. Take your pick from the list below to create a little bit of the party island. Efforts to
creations straight to guests sitting at Eastern-style and we’re sure there’s still enough carnage, vomit negotiate a cheaper entrance fee are futile. (En-
tables – cross your legs and see how long you can and debauchery in town to keep everyone happy. trance charge 350-400 som)
last before cramp sets in. $
Derevyashka (Ryskulova, behind Dvorets Sporta) Diskoklubs Retro Metro (24, Mira)
Atmospheric drinking hall that serves a range Heaven (Frunze/Pravda - in the Hotel Dostuk) www.retrometro.kg
of Central Asian and Russian cuisine, as well as As Heaven is found inside a hotel it is surprisingly Bright, happy, 80’s kitsch bar, the DJ spins his re-
cheap-as-chips Arpa on tap. Well worth it on foot- unseedy. In fact it stands out for being a bastion of cords from inside the front of a VW camper van.
ball nights, when the locals are rather rowdy. $ the well-dressed (if one is generous). Turn up in tatty One of the most popular places for post-2am
jeans and a t-shirt and you may feel a little out of partying. (Entrance
����������������������������������
charge: 200/300 som mid-
Faiza (Jibek Jolu/Prospect Mira) place; then again, you may not give a shit. Tables by week, 350/450 som Fri/Sat. Reserve for 200 som)
Possibly the best place to munch traditional grub the dancefloor cost 1000 som but include drinks up
in town. Their fried pelmeni and manti are so good to this value. (Entrance charge 200-400 som) Live Music
that they have often run out by lunchtime. Save
an appetite and go early. $$ Fire & Ice (Tynystanova/Erkindik) Promzona (16, Cholpon-Atinskaya)
A slightly grittier version of Golden Bull. Again, for- www.promzona.kg
Syrian eigners can often get in for free. Popular throughout Promzona’s far-flung location sadly means a taxi
ride or a long walk home are in order at the end
the week. (Entrance ‘foreigners’ free)
Damashq (54, Manas - opposite the Humanities Uni) of a night. Nevertheless, this trendy live music
See a full review of Damashq in this month’s Out Pharoah (East side of the Philharmonic) venue has a lot going for it: good bands, an exten-
& About section! An underground lair packed with eyecatching nods sive menu, and a hip industrial interior featuring,
to Ancient Egypt. Foreigners can sometimes negoti- strangely, a wind tunnel fan, make this one of the
ate cheap or free entry but be prepared to get stung
Russian/Ukrainian inside. Beer costs the best part of 200som.
best nights out in Bishkek. Tuesday is Jazz night.
Rock or blues bands normally play at the week-
Charge 400-500 som) ends. (Music charge 200-350 som)
Pirogoff-Vodkin (Kievskaya/Togolok Moldo)
Classy restaurant with a turn of the 20th century Infinity (Micro region 7)
atmosphere serving Russian specialities. Have your Yet to be investigated. Ask a taxi driver to take you Tequila Blues (Turesbekova/Engels)
tea in a giant samovar. $$$ to ‘Infinity’ (and beyond) in the 7th micro region. It’s A possible misnomer, the tequila is just fine, but the
located way out near the hotel Jannat. Any reports blues is pretty much non-existent. Young Russian
Khutoryanka (Sovietskaya/Lev Tolstoy bridge) would be welcome! (Entrance charge ?) studenty types mosh away the nights to rock bands
Unassuming, to put it mildly, on the outside, this Platinum (East side of the he Philharmonic) in an atmospheric underground bunker. Weekends
place is a revelation on the inside. Delicious food, Take a seat at the snazzy 360 degree bar and do bat- are not for the fainthearted, or the claustrophobic.
reasonable service, Ukrainian brass band music tle with some of Kyrgyzstan’s most convivial ‘elite’ for (Entrance charge 150 som)
on the cd player. We love it! $$$ gold-digging temptresses. (Entrance charge 400- Zeppelin (43, Chui)
Taras Bulba (Near the Yuzhniy Vorota on Sovietskaya) 500 som) Zeppelin is in the same vein as Tequila Blues but
Like all the Ukrainian restaurants we’ve tried in Apple (28, Manas) not quite so spit and sawdust. On the nights we’ve
Bishkek, Taras Bulba serves great food. We liked the Fat, old, lecherous foreigners not welcome, this visited, there’s been a line up of young rock or
potato pancakes with caviar, the delicious soups place is for a younger cooler crowd. Multiple bars, punk bands strutting their stuff, heavier beats
and fresh salads. $$$ large dance floor, friendly atmosphere. Thursday seem to go down best with the young Russian
usually a big night. (Entrance charge 100-300 som) crowd. Full restaurant menu.
Zaporyzhia (9, Prospect Mira) (Entrance charge 100-150 som)
Recently opened, Zaporyzhia is a cossack fla- Mojito (Micro region 12)
voured restauraunt in a varnish-scented log cab- Another place to be checked out. Do they actu- Live music also common at Stary Edgar’s and
in. Hearty rustic dishes and a homely atmosphere. ally serve mojitos? Possibly. Is it a Hemingwayesque Beatles Bar (see ‘bars/restaurants’)
Recommended! $$$ club reminiscent of 1950s Havana? Probably not.

December 2009 The Spektator www.thespektator.co.uk

 What’s On 25
December 22nd-30th December 27th-30th Entertainment Directory
New Year Mornings for Children 27th December Kyrgyz State Philharmonic
Fairy tales, shows and play activities Him, Her, a window and the Deceased Chui Prospect, 253
Russian Drama Theatre 11.00 Tel 66 20 32 Russian Farce Tel: 212262, 212235
Take your children along to a series of charming Russian Drama Theatre 18:00 Tel 66 20 32 Hours: 17:00-19:00 in summer
Russian matinees with titles like 'an ordinary little Tickets 100-500 soms Tickets: 70-100 som (sometimes much more for
pea', then head for lunch at Chudo Ostrov. special performances)
Tickets from 100-400 som 28th December There are two concert halls featuring classical, tra-
Theatre Romance ditional Kyrgyz, and pop concerts and a variety of
Christmas Day Comedy in Russian shows.
Kubanich Sataev for one night only Russian Drama Theatre 18:00 Tel 66 20 32
Tickets 100-500 soms The Puppet Theatre
Kyrgyz singer with a traditional repertoire
Sovietskaya/Michurina
Dvorets Sporta 18:30 Tel 62 51 77
29th Decemder Performances on Sundays at 11:00am.
Although he might be an outside bet to steal
your Christmas plans, we have it from a reliable Red Apple The Conservatory
source that Mr Sataev is the cream of Kyrgyz Drama written by Chingiz Aitmatov Jantosheva, 115
crooners. His father was popular during the So- Russian Drama Theatre 18:00 Tel 66 20 32 Tel: 479542
viet Union and now Kubanich is back in Bishkek Tickets 100-500 soms Concerts by students and professors.
to bring the house down with some loud senti-
mental classics. 30th Decemder Russian Drama Theatre
Midnight Robbery Tynystanova, 122 (Situated in Oak Park)
The Far-too-Married Taxi Driver Musical comedy in Russian Tel.: 662032, 621571
Comedy in Russian Russian Drama Theatre 18:00 Tel 66 20 32 Hours: Mon-Sun, 10:00-18:00
Russian Drama Theatre 18:00 Tel 66 20 32 Tickets 100-500 soms Tickets 30-100 som
A range of local and international plays in Russian.
Christmas Lunch
Ham, turkey and general merriment New Year's Parties Open on New Years Day
Metro (Chui/Turuzbekova intersection) Apple Club
Probably the only place where you can find Thumping D+B to help see the New Year in Bishkek inconveniently dies on January 1st as
all three on Christmas Day. Fill your boots at The Spektator tried out last year's version and can restaurant and bar owners choose to prioritize
Bishkek's premier ex-pat drinking hole. thus confirm that this fixture is a certified banger. time with their families over topping up foreign
Great tunes, friendly folks and a party that doesn't hangovers. Scandalous. We asked around and
Boxing Day wind down until 6.00 am. only found a couple of places that aren't taking
Snow Queen 28, Manas (Tel 0551 750 945 ) a day off.
Fairy tale play in Russian Tickets 500 som
Russian Drama Theatre TBC Tel 66 20 32 Beta Gourmet (Betastores top floor, Kievskaya)
Golden Bull Probably the only place you can get served at
An evening of traditional Kyrgyz music The usual night of mayhem with bells on lunch time on New Years Day, much to the dis-
Philharmonia 18:00 Tel 61 40 15 Tel 620 131 gruntlement of the waiting staff. Full of portly
Tickets 300 som Turks stuffing themselves with assorted kebabs
Metro and salads, Beta is a nice option if you can’t be
The Hotel Owner Down and Dirty New Years Knees Up bothered to cook.
Russian comedy about a hozyaika gostinitsa Probably the pick of the bunch in terms of fes tive (Betastores top floor, Kievskaya)
Russian Drama Theatre 18:00 Tel 66 20 32 cheer. Great live music, reasonably priced food
Tickets 100-500 soms and drink and plenty of friendly faces. Jam
(Chui/Turuzbekova intersection) Lounge bar Jam plans a small festive celebration
Ernsr Akramov on the evening of Jan 1st, although it won’t be
New Year Musical Evening Wasabi open on New Year’s Eve. Bubble away on a hook-
Opera Ballet Tel 66 15 48 Moulin Rouge themed night ah pipe and knock back a beer as you write out
Tickets 350 som For those curious to see how a Japanese restaurant those resolutions.
pulls of a Moulin Rouge themed New Years party,
Live updates this could be the one. The staff couldn't confirm a
179 Toktogula (Tel 0554448668)

For all the Bishkek opera, ballet and concert listings, table reservation price though, which is usually a
Metro
check our frequently updated What’s On listings at: sign of a fleece.
Open all day January 1st.
(Shevchenko/Frunze)
www.thespektator.co.uk (Chui/Turuzbekova)

What’s On is sponsored by
www.davebrand.com
Map: Location guide 7. Beta Stores Supermarket 14. New York Pizza 21. Stary Edgars
1. Tequila Blues 8. Derevyashka 15. Cowboy 22. TSUM Department Store
2. Metro Bar (American Pub) 9. Cyclone 16. National Museum 23. Jam
3. Watari 10. Coffee House (II) 17. Navigator 24. Mimino
4. Zaporyzhian Nights 11. Adriatico 18. Sky Bar 25. Arabica
5. Coffe House (I) 12. Santa Maria 19. Boulevard 26. Konak
6. 2x2 Bar 13. Faiza 20. Fatboy’s 27. VEFA shopping Centre (& Veranda)

www.thespektator.co.uk December 2009 The Spektator

 Map 27
a Gvardia
o l o d aya Gvardi Mol o d aya
M

Jibek
Jolu
Kievskaya
THE MOUNTAINS

Chui
Engelsa
Lva Tolstogo

Toktogula
1 2 13
23 ve.
Manas a
ve.
Manas a4 5

Ryskulova

Jumabe
ve.
Manas a

Kievskaya
Moskovskaya

Isanova

k
6 11

T. Abdymom
Isanova 8 Koenkozo
va
Isanova 7
12 Dvorets
Sporta
9 10

unov stadium
oldo
Togolok M

Jibe
Michael Frunze
Spartak

k Jo
Chui
Toktogula

k o 14
Logvinen
Moskovskaya

va
Orozbeko
15

Juma

Baeto
16
Lva Tolstog

va
Orozbeko a
Razzakov
Bokonbaeva

bek

va
18
Razzakov
a 19
17 Erkind
Abdym

Erkindik
Tugolbay

Michae
omuno
o

21
l Frunze

a ova
Fatianov Tynystan
va

ova
Tynystan 20 AYA
SOVETSK
AYA
Circus

26 27 SOVETSK
Chui

AYA
Kievskaya

SOVETSK a eva 24
22
Shopoko
va
A. Usenb
Toktogula

25
Lva

va
Shopoko
Pravda
a
Elebaev
Tol

Pravda
s

lya
Gogo
tog

Ogonbae
Moskov
o

North
Bokonb

lya
Gogo
va

www.thespektator.co.uk December 2009 The Spektator

28 Weekend The End

Christmas crackers and the crap jokes inside them

are as much a part of the festive period as baubles,
nativity sets and re-runs of the Chevvy Chase films.
Reel these off to your mates and watch them lapse
into spasms of cringing and groaning, before the
inevitable onset of violence.

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a boogie in it.
What did the grape say when the elephant stepped
on it?
Nothing. It just let out a little wine.
What's ET short for?
Because he's only got little legs.
How does a yeti get down a hill.
By-icycle.
What do you call a woman who stands between
two goal posts?
Annette.
What do angry mice send each other at Christmas?
Cross mouse cards.
Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy!
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A broken drum, you just can't beat it!
How did Scrooge win the football game?
The ghost of Christmas passed!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinsilitis!
What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree?
Nice gnawing you!

Santa Gags

Why did Santa's helper see the doctor?

Because he had a low "elf" esteem!
What do you call a cat in the desert?
Sandy Claws!
What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker!
What do you call Santa's little helpers?
Subordinate clauses!
Did Rudolph go to school?
No. He was Elf-taught!

Santa went to the Doctors with a problem.

Doctor: What seems to be the problem?
Santa: I seem to have a mince pie stuck up my arse!
Doctor: Your in luck, I've got just the cream for that!

Apologies.

December 2009 The Spektator www.thespektator.co.uk