AskDeepak:HowtoFindDirectioninYourLife

Q:Ihaveareallyhardtimewithchoiceandactionwhenitcomestofindingmydirectioninlife.I
wanttodosomethingIloveandI'mpassionateabout,butIhaven'tfiguredoutwhatthatisyet.Inthe
meantime,I'mnotwillingtocompromisemyidealstochoosewhatispractical.Schoolandworkfelt
meaninglesstome,soIdroppedoutofcollegeandspentayearnotworking,notgoingout,basically
justreadingbooksonspiritualityandpsychologyinhopesthatIcouldfindmyself.Thatoneyear
allowedmetogodeeperinmyspirituality,butinmypracticallifeIhavenotaccomplishedanything.
IwanttotrustthatIamonmyownperfectpathandeverythingisasitshouldbe,butsometimesIfeel
verylost.I'mworkingnowandI'mconsideringgoingbacktoschool,butIhavenogreatvisionor
aspirationsformyfutureandIfeeldead.Idon'tknowwhyI'mhereandwhatmypurposeis.Ihaven't
feltthatsparkofinspiration.Actiondoesn'tcomewithease.Idon'tfeelatonewithmychoices.I'mso
lost.WhatcanIdobetter?Thankyousomuch.
NancyD.,DiamondBar,California
DearNancy,
Yourlettergetsmoreandmorenegativeasitgoeson,culminatinginastartlingstatement:Ifeeldead.
Sowhatstartedoutasonethingaletterfromanidealisticyoungpersonwhohaspostponedher
identitycrisiswindsupsoundinglikealetterfromsomeonewhoisacutelydepressed.Therefore,the
onlywayyoucangetanansweristogoinsideandfindit.You'vereadalotofspiritualbooks.The
seedissown.Nowit'stimetoletsomeseedssprout.
Tofindoutwhichones,herearefivequestionstoaskyourself.Writethemdownandkeepthepaper
available,becauseyouwillneedtoaskeachquestioneverydayuntilitisanswered.I'lllistthe
questionsfirstandthentellyouaspecialwaytoanswerthem,becausethemethodisasimportantas
theanswers:

AmIdepressedandsickofmylife?
AmIdriftingbecauseIknowsomethingperfectiswaitingjustoverthehorizon?
IstodaygoingthewayIwantitto?
WhenIlookaround,doesmylifetellmewhoIam?WhatdoIseeinthereflectionofthe
outerworld?

IfIcouldjumpaheadfiveyearsandmeetmyself,whowouldImeet?
Thesearequestionsthatgetaskedduringtheidentitycrisisofone'searly20s.Theyarealwaysaskedin
confusionbecauselateadolescenceisn'tquiteoverandfullyfledgedadulthoodhasnotquitebegun.
Peopleexperiencetheiridentitycrisisinverydifferentways.Ittendstobringoutwhatwemostfear
andwhatwemostdreamof.Thisisatimeforlove,ideals,acareer,growingconfidenceandthe
excitementoftakingflight.
That'stheideal,butofcourse,manypeopleexperienceotherelementsoftheidentitycrisis:a
paralyzingsenseofindecision,lossofselfconfidence,panicthatoldbehaviorsthatworkedinyour
teensnolongerworkandafrighteningsenseofemptiness.Rightnow,youaremiredinthenegative
sideoffindingyourtrueidentity.Solet'seliminatethenegativeandletthepositivepartofyourlife
starttoguideyou.
That'swherethefivequestionscomein.Pullyourlistoutinthemorning.Readeachquestion,then
closeyoureyesandwaitforananswer.Don'tforce;don'texpectanything.Ifyouhearalotofmental
chatter,exhaleandaskthischattertostopforamomentsoyoucanhaveaclearmind.Whatever
answeryoureceiveafterafewminutes,that'stoday'sanswer.Moveontothenextquestion.
Onceyouhaveyourfiveanswers,goonandenjoyyourday.Don'tthinkaboutthequestionsagain.
Don'treturntothem.Youhavedoneyourjobfortheday.Therestisforenjoyment.
Repeatthisprocedureeveryday.Onedaynoonecanpredictwhenoneoftheanswerswillseem

totallyrighttoyou.Thismeansthatyourtrueselfhasdeliveredtheanswer.Don'tjumpforjoyjustyet.
Comebacktwomoretimesandseeifthesameanswerreturns.Ifso,crossthatquestionoffyourlist.
Proceedforaslongasittakesuntilyouhavefivegoodandtrueanswers.Whathaveyoudone?You've
caughtupwithwhereyouneedtobe.Beingyoung,youranswersmaychangenextyear,butwhatyou
wantisanswersforrightnow.Theywillservetogetyououtofyourrut.
Q:I'vealwayswondered:Howdosoulsmultiply?If,infact,wearereincarnated,dowebringoursoul
withuseachtime?Iknowhowpeoplearecreated,butwheredonewsoulscomefrom?
AnnL.,LosGatos,California
DearAnn,
You'dbesurprisedhowoftenthisquestioncomesup,usuallyinthespiritof"gotcha."Skepticssay:
"Therearetwiceasmanypeopleintheworldas50yearsago.Ifallhaveasoul,andsoulsare
immortal,therecan'tbemoresouls.Therefore,reincarnationiswrong."Inoticethatyouareaskingina
friendlierspirit,soherearemycandidthoughts.
First,reincarnationisn'tbeingtestedbythisquestion.Forallweknow,soulsmaybereleasedinsome
kindoforderhumanbeingscannotfathom.Maybethere'sanendlesssupplyinaninfinitePez
dispenser.Therhythmofsoulbirthisn'tourconcern.Allweknowisthateachofusishere,doingthe
bestwecantoevolve.
Second,theegoisusedtothinkingintermsof"I,"ortheseparateself.Butlet'ssettheegoasidefora
moment.Yoursoulisyourdeepestconsciousness,thesourceofyourawareness.Tome,consciousness
isasingularthathasnoplural.Onegoldcanbemadeintomanyornaments,onefiremakesmany
flames,oneoceanmanywaves.Soulsarepatternsofmovementandbehaviorinasingle
consciousness.CallitthemindofGodorthewombofcreation,thissinglesourcecangiverisetoas
manysoulsastheuniversecallsforth,justastheoceancanhaveafewwavesormany.

Q:Itseemslikethere'stoomuchpainandsufferingduetoevildoingofbadpeople,catastrophe,
economiccrisisandsoforthloomingandhoveringaroundourhemisphere...oramIjustgettingtoo
old?Isthereanotherwaytolookatthis?
BrendaB.,LosAngeles
DearBrenda,
Youknowverywellthatthere'sanotherwaytolookatit,soyourrealquestion,Ithink,ishowtoadopt
anotherway.Youcan'ttalkyourselfintoseeingsunshineonarainyday.Ifyoutry,youaredeluding
yourself.Manypeople,thinkingofthemselvesasrealists,feelthesameaboutgoodandevil.Theydon't
wanttotaketheireyesoffthenegativeaspectsoflifebecauserealismdemandsthatwetakethebitter
withthesweet.
Yetwhoistosaythebitterismorerealthanthesweet?Ifyourvisionoflifecontainsloveandpeace,if
youyourselfhaverenouncedviolence,ifyousetyourselfonthespiritualpath,thesethingsdon'tmean
youaren'tarealist.Theymeanyouaimforahigherreality.Idon'tmeanGod,althoughIamnot
excludingreligion.Wearetalkingabouthiddenpotential.Humannatureisdivided.Itcontainsboth
darknessandlight.Youcanchoosetoacceptthedarknessandlamentit,oryoucanchoosetoexpand
thelightuntilthedarknessnolongerdominates.
Thereisnogettingaroundthischoice,whichishighlypersonal.Iknowmillionsofpeopleare
alienatedanddisenchanted.Theysitpassivelywatchingthelatestreportsofviolence,catastrophes,
corruptionandmisdeedsfloatbyontheeveningnews.Buttheadageistrue:Onecandleisenoughto

causethedarknesstogoaway.Onceyouchoosetoraiseyourownawareness,youwillhavedonethe
mostyoucantodefeatthedarksideofhumannature,andtodiscoverahigherrealitycanactuallybe
foundandlived.
Love,
Deepak

Photo:Thinkstock
Eachweek,spiritualteacherDeepakChoprarespondstoOprah.comusers'questionswith
enlighteningadvicetohelpthemlivetheirbestlives.

Q:Iam43yearsold,experiencingamajorlifecrisis,whichislikeaspiritualawakeningorpersonal
metamorphosisofsomekind.Myworldiscrashinginaroundme,andIfeellikeasinkingship.My20
yearmarriageisdefunctandperhapshasalwaysbeen.Iquitmyjob.Myhusbandisworkinglikea
madmantryingtobuildabusiness.Heisarecoveringaddictandcompletelyimmersedinhisnew
venture,whichmakeshim100percentabsent.Wehavenohealthinsuranceandnosavings,wehold
astronomicaldebt,andmyelderlyparentsarefilingforbankruptcy.Ihavegained25pounds,andthe
thoughtofwhatitwilltaketotryandbreakfreeissooverwhelmingthatIcanhardlymove,letalone
determinewhatdirectiontomovein.
WhereisGod?HowdoIaccesshim?Ibelievethisisalifelongpatternforme,andthattherearemany
thingscomingtothesurfacethatImustmovethroughinordertoheal,butIdon'tknowhow.Iaman
intuitive,intelligent,healthy,compassionatepersonwhomusthavesomethingtooffersomewhere.I
wishIknewhowtoturnmybrainoff.NomatterwhatitisIamdoingorcommittedto,Ienduphating
it.It'samajormentalbattletogetgoingorkeepwithit.Mybrainjustgetstotallyjammedupwithall
theoverwhelmingdetails.
IsuspectImaybesomehowbrokenorunabletochange.Ihavecometobelievetheonlyhopeisa
spiritualawakeningofsomekind,andIdon'thaveanyideaofhowtofindthat.CurrentlyIfeellikethe
universeisjusttellingmeto"slowdown"and"bequiet,"andthatiswhatIamdoing.ButhowamIto
knowforsure?Itisinmynaturetobeaslackerandaquitter,lackinganysortofselfdisciplineor
routine.Ifeellikemythoughtsarelikeapingponggameinsidemyhead.Help!
AndrieneS.,GigHarbor,Washington
DearAndriene,
Ithinkit'sgoodtopublishyourletteratlength,eventhoughitcouldbecompressedintotwowords:
feelingoverwhelmed.Thewhirlofwords,emotions,beliefs,worriesanddoubtsthatfillsyourletteris
thedefinitionoffeelingoverwhelmed,andwegetthesenseofamindthathaslostitsbearings.
Nothingyouspeakabouthasescapedthewhirlwind;therefore,weneedtostillthewhirlwindfirstand
foremost.Let'sleaveGodandspiritualityoutofitforthemoment.Thoseareadesperatereachatthis
point.
Iwouldapproachthisfirstasaphysicalimbalance.InthesystemoftraditionalIndianmedicineknown
asAyurveda,oneofthebasicelementsinaperson'smakeupisknownasVayu,orwind.Itgivesriseto
aqualityknownasVata,theaspectofmindandbodyassociatedwithspontaneity,change,resilience
andvitality.WhenVataisoutofbalance,allthesymptomsyoumentionarise:restlessness,worry,
confusion,indecision,anxietyandageneralinabilitytosettledownorseestraight.Iamnotaskingyou
toadoptanewworldview,onlytoseethatwhatfeelslikeahostofproblemsinfacthasasingleroot.
(Youcancheckmybook,PerfectHealth,ifyouwanttoknowmoreaboutAyurvedaindetail.)
Becauseyouaredrasticallyoutofbalance,youhavelosteverytraceofstability.Iknowexternal

circumstancesarequitedifficult.AnoverloadofstressisthemostcommonreasonVatagoesoutof
balance.Youfeeluprootedandtossedaboutbyeverylittlewave.Weneedtogetyouplantedbackon
thegroundagain,whichbeginswithplantingyourselfbackinyourbodyagain.Takethisadvice
seriously.Don'tobeyyourinstinctsrightnow.Theyareseverelyoffkilter.Hereisatwopartprogram
foryouthatisalsoapplicabletoanyonecarriedawaybyworryandstress.
PartOne:
Releaseyourselffromyoursymptoms.Whenyouhaveasurgeoffearoranxiety,liedownandrest.
Don'tactonimpulse.Slowdown.Stopcriticizingyourhusbandandburdeninghimwithyourtroubles.
Whenyoubegintofeelselfpity,don'tindulgethosefeelings.Turntosomethingelse,likehousework
oreventelevision.Ifyoufeellikecomplainingorwhining,stopyourself.Allthesemeasuresarelike
puttingthebrakesonarunawaycar.Inthiscase,themindisthecar,andyoucan'tstopitwithonetap
ofthebrakes.Youhavetobegintogainsomedistanceandclarity.Imbalancemakesthathard,butyou
musttry.
PartTwo:
Takepositivestepstoregainbalance.Beginwithasteadyroutine,howevermuchyouhaveavoidedit
inthepast.Gotobedatregularhours.Cookandeatmealsontime.Makesureyougetoutofbedonly
afteryou'vegottenatleastsevenhoursofsleep.Cleanthehouseandprovideaneat,reassuring
environmentforyourself.Tosettleyourmind,readbooksonhealing,taketimetowalkeveryday,
associatewithcalmer,moresecurepeople.Findaconfidantyoucantrusttogiveyousoundadvice.
Stopassociatingwiththosewhobringyoudownbymakingyoursituationseemhopeless,orwhose
problemsonlycompoundyours.Ifpossible,findaclosefriendwhohascompassionandcanofferyou
kindness.
Onthephysicalside,Ayurvedarecommendsdailymassagewithsesameoil.Youcanfinddetails
onlineorfromthebookImentioned,nottomentionAyurvedicclinicsthathavecroppedupthroughout
thecountry.Avoidstimulantsliketobaccoandalcohol.Ultimately,however,thebiggeststepwillbeto
stoppanickingandtakeseriouslytheunderstandingthatyourhealingliesinyourownhands.Ideeply
sympathizewithyourdifficultsituation.Ifyoucanbringyourselfbackintobalance,thechancesof
findingsolutionstotheseotherproblemswillgreatlyincrease.

Photo:Thinkstock
Eachweek,spiritualteacherDeepakChoprarespondstoOprah.comusers'questionswith
enlighteningadvicetohelpthemlivetheirbestlives.

Q:Iam43yearsold,experiencingamajorlifecrisis,whichislikeaspiritualawakeningorpersonal
metamorphosisofsomekind.Myworldiscrashinginaroundme,andIfeellikeasinkingship.My20
yearmarriageisdefunctandperhapshasalwaysbeen.Iquitmyjob.Myhusbandisworkinglikea
madmantryingtobuildabusiness.Heisarecoveringaddictandcompletelyimmersedinhisnew
venture,whichmakeshim100percentabsent.Wehavenohealthinsuranceandnosavings,wehold
astronomicaldebt,andmyelderlyparentsarefilingforbankruptcy.Ihavegained25pounds,andthe
thoughtofwhatitwilltaketotryandbreakfreeissooverwhelmingthatIcanhardlymove,letalone
determinewhatdirectiontomovein.
WhereisGod?HowdoIaccesshim?Ibelievethisisalifelongpatternforme,andthattherearemany
thingscomingtothesurfacethatImustmovethroughinordertoheal,butIdon'tknowhow.Iaman
intuitive,intelligent,healthy,compassionatepersonwhomusthavesomethingtooffersomewhere.I
wishIknewhowtoturnmybrainoff.NomatterwhatitisIamdoingorcommittedto,Ienduphating
it.It'samajormentalbattletogetgoingorkeepwithit.Mybrainjustgetstotallyjammedupwithall
theoverwhelmingdetails.

IsuspectImaybesomehowbrokenorunabletochange.Ihavecometobelievetheonlyhopeisa
spiritualawakeningofsomekind,andIdon'thaveanyideaofhowtofindthat.CurrentlyIfeellikethe
universeisjusttellingmeto"slowdown"and"bequiet,"andthatiswhatIamdoing.ButhowamIto
knowforsure?Itisinmynaturetobeaslackerandaquitter,lackinganysortofselfdisciplineor
routine.Ifeellikemythoughtsarelikeapingponggameinsidemyhead.Help!
AndrieneS.,GigHarbor,Washington
DearAndriene,
Ithinkit'sgoodtopublishyourletteratlength,eventhoughitcouldbecompressedintotwowords:
feelingoverwhelmed.Thewhirlofwords,emotions,beliefs,worriesanddoubtsthatfillsyourletteris
thedefinitionoffeelingoverwhelmed,andwegetthesenseofamindthathaslostitsbearings.
Nothingyouspeakabouthasescapedthewhirlwind;therefore,weneedtostillthewhirlwindfirstand
foremost.Let'sleaveGodandspiritualityoutofitforthemoment.Thoseareadesperatereachatthis
point.
Iwouldapproachthisfirstasaphysicalimbalance.InthesystemoftraditionalIndianmedicineknown
asAyurveda,oneofthebasicelementsinaperson'smakeupisknownasVayu,orwind.Itgivesriseto
aqualityknownasVata,theaspectofmindandbodyassociatedwithspontaneity,change,resilience
andvitality.WhenVataisoutofbalance,allthesymptomsyoumentionarise:restlessness,worry,
confusion,indecision,anxietyandageneralinabilitytosettledownorseestraight.Iamnotaskingyou
toadoptanewworldview,onlytoseethatwhatfeelslikeahostofproblemsinfacthasasingleroot.
(Youcancheckmybook,PerfectHealth,ifyouwanttoknowmoreaboutAyurvedaindetail.)
Becauseyouaredrasticallyoutofbalance,youhavelosteverytraceofstability.Iknowexternal
circumstancesarequitedifficult.AnoverloadofstressisthemostcommonreasonVatagoesoutof
balance.Youfeeluprootedandtossedaboutbyeverylittlewave.Weneedtogetyouplantedbackon
thegroundagain,whichbeginswithplantingyourselfbackinyourbodyagain.Takethisadvice
seriously.Don'tobeyyourinstinctsrightnow.Theyareseverelyoffkilter.Hereisatwopartprogram
foryouthatisalsoapplicabletoanyonecarriedawaybyworryandstress.
PartOne:
Releaseyourselffromyoursymptoms.Whenyouhaveasurgeoffearoranxiety,liedownandrest.
Don'tactonimpulse.Slowdown.Stopcriticizingyourhusbandandburdeninghimwithyourtroubles.
Whenyoubegintofeelselfpity,don'tindulgethosefeelings.Turntosomethingelse,likehousework
oreventelevision.Ifyoufeellikecomplainingorwhining,stopyourself.Allthesemeasuresarelike
puttingthebrakesonarunawaycar.Inthiscase,themindisthecar,andyoucan'tstopitwithonetap
ofthebrakes.Youhavetobegintogainsomedistanceandclarity.Imbalancemakesthathard,butyou
musttry.
PartTwo:
Takepositivestepstoregainbalance.Beginwithasteadyroutine,howevermuchyouhaveavoidedit
inthepast.Gotobedatregularhours.Cookandeatmealsontime.Makesureyougetoutofbedonly
afteryou'vegottenatleastsevenhoursofsleep.Cleanthehouseandprovideaneat,reassuring
environmentforyourself.Tosettleyourmind,readbooksonhealing,taketimetowalkeveryday,
associatewithcalmer,moresecurepeople.Findaconfidantyoucantrusttogiveyousoundadvice.
Stopassociatingwiththosewhobringyoudownbymakingyoursituationseemhopeless,orwhose
problemsonlycompoundyours.Ifpossible,findaclosefriendwhohascompassionandcanofferyou
kindness.
Onthephysicalside,Ayurvedarecommendsdailymassagewithsesameoil.Youcanfinddetails
onlineorfromthebookImentioned,nottomentionAyurvedicclinicsthathavecroppedupthroughout
thecountry.Avoidstimulantsliketobaccoandalcohol.Ultimately,however,thebiggeststepwillbeto
stoppanickingandtakeseriouslytheunderstandingthatyourhealingliesinyourownhands.Ideeply
sympathizewithyourdifficultsituation.Ifyoucanbringyourselfbackintobalance,thechancesof
findingsolutionstotheseotherproblemswillgreatlyincrease.

http://www.oprah.com/spirit/When-Things-Go-Bump-in-the-MindDeepak-Chopra - comments

Photo:Comstock/Thinkstock
Therearethreestepstotrustingthese"things"thatsuddenlyinterrupttheordinaryflowofyourown
life.
1.Payattentiontoeachincident.Lookatit.Holditinyourmind.Don'tsimplydismissacoincidence
andletitdriftaway.Lifeistotallyinterconnected.Theseunusual"things"aresimplyconnectionsthat
surpriseyoubecauseyouaren'tusedtoseeinglifeexceptinfragments.Nowitisbeginningtopiece
itselftogether.
2.Givesignificancetoyourexperiences.Thismeanschangingyourallegiancetoanewwayof
perceivingyourself.Youareaccustomedtobeinganisolatedpersonboundedbylimitedthoughts,
feelingsandexperiences.Thisisthestateofseparation.Yetifyouchooseto,youcanseeyourselfas
partoftheflowoflife,thecenterofanunfolding,expandingawareness.
3.Valuethisnewwayofbeingintheworld.Youarethesilent,unchangingwitnessinthemidstof
constantchange.Therealyoucomprehendsfarmorethanthelimitedselfinseparation.Asyoutake
yourfirststepsintoexpandedconsciousness,trustthatthepathisright,butdon'ttrusteverylittle
incident.
Therearemanyaspectsoftheself.Somerushforwardeagerlyintonew,unknownchallenges.Others
hangbehindandresist.Thisinnerconflicthasalwaysbeenpresent,butnowitistryingtoresolve
itself.That'swhytheseunexpected"things"arecroppingup.Theyreflectyourdesiretobreakfreeof
conflictandconfusion.Withthatintention,youaresuretomakeprogress.

Q:IstronglyfeelthatIshouldbedoingmorewithmylife.AsIlookoverit,Icansaythatithasbeen
somethingoutofaTylerPerryplay.Iamveryspiritual.Iamalwaysonthequesttoacquiremore
knowledge.Iwanttodomore.Iamlookingwithin,forIfeelthatiswereIwillseethedirectionI
shouldbeheadingin.IamcurrentlyreadingyourbookReinventingtheBody,ResurrectingtheSoul.
Thisbookhasgivenmegreatinsight.WitheverythingI'velearned,mybraingetsinaquestioning
mood.So,myquestionis:HowdoItuneintomyownenergy?
DemetraC.,Windsor,Connecticut
DearDemetra,
Yoursisquiteaconfusingquestion.Yousaythatyouarespiritualandlookinwardforguidanceallthe
time.Thenyouaskhowtotuneintoyourownenergy.Aren'tyoudoingthatalready?There'sa
disconnecthere,andIdon'treallyunderstandwhatyouareasking.Butif"myownenergy"meansyour
uniquepathinlife,manyreadersshareyourconfusion.Weareallconditionedbysociety,ourfamilies
andbeliefsweabsorbedfromallaroundus.Thesesecondhandinfluencesblockourcoreidentity,
whichIcallthetrueself.

WhenthepoetWilliamBlakesaidthatwemust"cleansethedoorsofperception,"hedidn'tmeanthat
oureyesneedwindowwashing.Whatblocksyourvisionexistsinsidethemind.Acloudofold
conditioningmakesithardtolookdirectlyatwhomyouareandwhatyourlifemeans.Anythingyou
candotoclearawaytheinnerfogwillbringyouclosertoyouruniquepathinlife.Indeed,nomatter
whatelseyouaredoing,clearingyourperceptionwillalwaysbepartofyourpath.
Inpracticalterms,thefollowingstepsareuseful:

Meditateinordertoreachdeeperlevelsofawareness.

Valueinnersilenceandpeace.

Resistthepullofgossip,badnewsandsensationalism.

Readpoetryandscripturesfromalltheworld'swisdomtraditions.Thisexposesyoutoclear,
insightful,inspiringminds.

Tendtothebettersideofyournatureandturnawayfromtheworseside.

Healoldwounds.Releaseoldresentments.

Confrontfearandangersothattheycanberesolvedonceandforall.

Removeyourselffromsituationsthatinvolvetoomuchconflictandstress.

Becomeapersonofpeace.

Openanychannelyouanfindthatbringsmoreloveinyourlife.

Givegenerouslyofyourself.

Ihopethishelps.