The Self in Interpersonal Communication

What Is Self-Concept?
By Kendra Cherry
Question: What Is Self-Concept?
Answer:
Self-concept is the image that we have of ourselves. This image is formed in a number of ways,
but is particularly influenced by our interactions with important people in our lives.

Definitions

"Self-concept is our perception or image of our abilities and our uniqueness. At first one's
self-concept is very general and changeable... As we grow older, these self-perceptions
become much more organized, detailed, and specific."
(Pastorino & Doyle-Portillo, 2013)

"A self-concept is a collection of beliefs about one's own nature, unique qualities, and
typical behavior. Your self-concept is your mental picture of yourself. It is a collection of
self-perceptions. For example, a self-concept might include such beliefs as 'I am
easygoing' or 'I am pretty' or 'I am hardworking.'"
(Weiten, Dunn, & Hammer, 2012)

"The individual self consists of attributes and personality traits that differentiate us from
other individuals (for example, 'introverted'). The relational self is defined by our
relationships with significant others (for example, 'sister'). Finally, the collective self
reflects our membership in social groups (for example, 'British')."
(Crisp, R. J. & Turner, R. N., 2007)

Components of Self-Concept
Like many topics within psychology, a number of theorists have proposed different ways of
thinking about self-concept.
According to a theory known as social identity theory, self-concept is composed of two key
parts: personal identity and social identity. Our personal identity includes such things as
personality traits and other characteristics that make each person unique. Social identity includes
the groups we belong to including our community, religion, college, and other groups.
Bracken (1992) suggested that there are six specific domains related to self-concept:

Social - the ability to interact with others

Competance - ability to meet basic needs

Affect - awareness of emotional states

Physical - feelings about looks, health, physical condition, and overall appearance

Academic - success or failure in school

Family - how well one functions within the family unit

Humanist psychologist Carl Rogers1 believed that there were three different parts of self-concept:
1. Self-image, or how you see yourself. It is important to realize that self-image does not
necessarily coincide with reality. People might have an inflated self-image and believe
that they are better at things than they really are. Conversely, people are also prone to
having negative self-images and perceive or exaggerate flaws or weaknesses. For
example, a teenage boy might believe that he is clumsy and socially awkward when he is
really quite charming and likeable. A teenage girl might believe that she is overweight,
when she is really quite thin.
Each individual's self-image is probably a mix of different aspects including your
physical characteristics, personality traits, and social roles.
2. Self-esteem2, or how much you value yourself. A number of different factors can impact
self-esteem, including how we compare ourselves to others and how others respond to us.
When people respond positively to our behavior, we are more likely to develop positive
self-esteem. When we compare ourselves to others and find ourselves lacking, it can have
a negative impact on our self-esteem.
3. Ideal self, or how you wish you could be. In many cases, the way we see ourselves and
how we would like to see ourselves do not quite match up.

Congruence and Incongruence

As mentioned earlier, our self-concepts are not always perfectly aligned with reality. Some
students might believe that they are great at academics, but their school transcripts might tell a
different story. According to Carl Rogers, the degree to which a person's self-concept matches up
to reality is known as congruence and incongruence. While we all tend to distort reality to a
certain degree, congruence occurs when self-concept is fairly well aligned to reality.
Incongruence happens when reality does not match up to our self-concept.
Rogers believed that incongruence has its earliest roots in childhood. When parents place
conditions on their affection for their children (only expressing love if children "earn it" through
certain behaviors and living up to the parents' expectations), children begin to distort the
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memories of experiences that leave them feeling unworthy of their parents' love.
Unconditional love, on the other hand, helps to foster congruence. Children who experience such
love feel no need to continually distort their memories in order to believe that other people will
love and accept them as they are.
References:

Bracken, B. A. (1992). Examiner's Manual for the Multidimensional Self-esteem Scale. Austin, TX: Pro-Ed.

Crisp, R. J. & Turner, R. N. (2007). Essential Social Psychology. London: Sage Publications.

Pastorino, E. E. & Doyle-Portillo, S. M. (2013). What Is Psychology?: Essentials. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.

Rogers, C. (1959). A Theory of Therapy, Personality and Interpersonal Relationships as Developed in the Client-centered Framework. In (ed.) S. Koch, Psychology: A
Study of a Science. Vol. 3: Formulations of the Person and the Social Context. New York: McGraw Hill.

Weiten, W., Dunn, D. S., & Hammer, E. Y. (2012) Psychology Applied to Modern Life: Adjustments in the 21st Century. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.

Dimensions of the Self

What are self-concept, self-awareness, and self-esteem and how do they influence
interpersonal communication?
Self-Concept
o Self-concept is the image you have of who you are.
o

Sources of self-concept include others' images of you, social

comparisons, cultural teachings, and your own interpretations and
evaluations.

Self-Awareness
o

Self-awareness is your knowledge of yourself; the extent to which you

know who you are.

A useful way of looking at self-awareness is with the Johari window,

which consists of four parts. The open self: information known to self
and others; the blind self: information known only to others; the
hidden self: information known only to self; and the unknown self:
information known to neither self nor others.

To increase self-awareness, ask yourself about yourself, listen to

others, actively seek information about yourself, see your different
selves, and increase your open self.
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Self-Esteem
o

Self-esteem is the value you place on yourself; your perceived selfworth.

To increase self-esteem, try attacking your self-destructive beliefs,

seeking affirmation, seeking out nourishing people, and working on
projects that will result in success.

Self-Disclosure
What is self-disclosure? What influences self-disclosure? What are its potential
rewards and dangers? What guidelines are useful in making decisions to selfdisclose and in listening to the disclosures of others?

Self-disclosure is revealing information about yourself to others, information

that is normally hidden.
Self-disclosure is influenced by a variety of factors: who you are, your
culture, your gender, your listeners, and your topic.

Among the rewards of self-disclosure are self-knowledge, ability to cope,

communication effectiveness, meaningfulness of relationships, and
physiological health. Among the dangers are personal risks, relational risks,
professional risks, and the fact that communication is irreversible; once
something is said, you can't take it back.

In self-disclosing consider your motivation, the appropriateness of the

disclosure to the person and context, the disclosures of others (the dyadic
effect), and the possible burdens that the self-disclosure might impose on
others and on yourself.

In responding to the disclosures of others, listen effectively, support and

reinforce the discloser, keep disclosures confidential, and don't use
disclosures as weapons.

In some situations you'll want to resist self-disclosing by being determined

not to be pushed into it, being assertive and direct, or being indirect.

Communication Apprehension
What is communication apprehension? How can you effectively manage your own
apprehension? How can you help empower those who are apprehensive?

Communication apprehension is a state of fear or anxiety about

communication situations. Trait apprehension is a fear of communication
generally. State apprehension is a fear of communication that is specific to a
situation (for example, an interview or public speaking situation).
Theories and management of communication apprehension include cognitive
restructuring, systematic desensitization, and skill acquisition.
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Cognitive restructuring focuses on unrealistic beliefs and seeks to

substitute more realistic ones.

Systematic desensitization attempts to train you to respond without

apprehension to increasingly more anxiety-provoking situations.

Skill acquisition focuses on training you to master the skills involved in

situations that normally provoke apprehension. To build skills: Prepare
and practice, focus on success, familiarize yourself with the situation,
and try to relax.