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mistake of a single person and would not be repeated in the service. While not entirely true
(some such photos appeared in a collage in the vestibule), I believe the organizers tried to respect
these guidelines, insofar as they were able. The funeral was planned by a complex group
involving Davids family and friends, and I relied on their wisdom and sensitivity. Neither St.
Joseph nor I had a role in the planning of the liturgy. We did nothing to advertise or promote the
event. It was not in the bulletin, announcements, or even the prayers.
In hindsight, I believe I made two mistakes regarding these events, for which I apologize to the St.
Joseph community and to those who may have been offended: first, by allowing the vigil to be on
site it gave the entire event a prominence that could be misunderstood as disregard for the abuse
in which Jaeger engaged; and second, by not more directly and authoritatively overseeing the
planning I perhaps allowed certain excesses to occurthough I saw few, honestly, that were not
from people other than the planners. While I set certain ground-rules, and believe they were
largely adhered to, maybe I could have done more.
At the same time, were the situation to arise again, I would still allow this funeral to happen at St.
Joseph. Though some have held that it should have been held elsewhere, I think that gets places
us into the not in my backyard mentality, which runs counter to our faith and our identity. If
Dave Jaeger deserved a funeralas I believe he didwe do not pass it off so that we might not
be tarnished. We are the Church and share in the burdens the Church carries.
Likewise, for those who maintain it should have been a smaller, more private liturgy: even if I
were to agree, it is not my place to tell others who can and cannot come to the funeral of their
loved one.
It was a difficult situation, and one that confounds me even now. I recognize that there continues
to be much denial about the reality of abuse in all segments of the Churchliberal, conservative,
the bishops, and the people in the pews. The complexity of human sin and human goodness
makes it a challenge to see how both exist so starkly in one person. When we look for simple
answers, we either reduce someone to their sin, or try to whitewash that sin or ignore the damage
that it causes (and thus compound the hurt for the victims). It is an impossible dichotomy for us to
navigate, yet God somehow holds both shores. Perhaps, if we all become more humble, we may
yet find reconciliation in the Church: reconciliation that does not drive away survivors of abuse,
but that also leads perpetrators to genuine repentance.
I am sorry for confusion or hurt caused by my decisions. May we all grow in the wisdom of God,
and together come to know Gods will and live it faithfully.
Yours in the Lord,