Conflict, Drama and the Soul

By Marcus T. Anthony
(PhD)

www.mindfutures.com
mindfutures@yahoo.com 

Note: This article is based on parts of Chapter 6 of my book Sage of Synchronicity (see
end of document for details).
 

The psyche strikes back

It would be nice if the trick to life was simply finding what was
aligned with your Soul Template, and then taking it. Gimme some of
that! You would be a bit like a child in a candy shop with mother’s
credit card. But it is not quite that simple. Every time you reach for
something, physically or within your imagination, there is also a psycho-
spiritual movement within the depths of your mind. The very act of
thinking about a desired future brings to the fore beliefs and
memories from within. In other words, every time you try to create,
there is a concurrent movement of resisting energy. As that energy
emerges, it attracts to you synchronistically the people and events
which reflect those self-limiting beliefs.
 Think of it this way. Imagine trying to fire a large cannon from a
boat. The boat is your mind, the cannon your method of forging your
desired future, and the firing of the cannonball is your goal. Any weak-
ness in the boat’s structure, or for that matter the cannon, will be
made readily apparent when you try to load the cannon onto the boat
and fire it. If the boat is too small and weak - say a little wooden row-
boat - you won’t even be able to get the cannon on board. And even if
you did manage to haul it on, when you fired it, the boat would be
greatly damaged, perhaps even destroyed. If the boat is larger and
sturdier, but there is a weakness in the hull, the pressure of the firing
may cause a perforation - and then you are taking on water! Suddenly
you have an emergency. You are no longer trying to fire the cannon, but
dealing with the water gushing in everywhere.
Creation is like this. How many times have you tried to set yourself a
goal, only to find your anxieties building up? The bigger the goal, the
greater are the issues that tend to emerge. Perhaps a person is trying
to get a business off the ground. She decides that she wants to open a
little shop importing Thai clothing. Then she starts thinking. What
about the money? How reliable are the people I want to work with? Am
I really worthy of the personal and financial rewards that might come
my way? Can I trust myself and the universe? Am I good enough? This
world is so damn rotten, and life is hard!
It all comes back to three things. Beliefs, beliefs, beliefs.
If our wannabe Thai clothes importer does not deal with her belief
structures they will spill over into her emotional life, creating dramas
with lovers, family, friends and workmates. She may find herself ar-
guing with her husband over whether to buy turkey or chicken for
Sunday roast. She screams, “You should know what I want!” He yells
back, “Why do you always expect me to pick up the food?” Before you
know it the China set is sailing across the room in hubby’s direction.
But what is really happening is that the “pressure” exerted by the
woman’s goal has triggered issues related to her father, because her
father has hurt her and damaged her self-belief. In order for the goal
to manifest, she has to believe in herself, believe in the possibility that
she can achieve it, and believe that she is worthy of achieving it.
Standing in the way is the shadow of Daddy, who imprinted upon her
psyche the idea that women are dirty, weak, untrustworthy and devious
(a common male projection onto females). Instead of processing the
energy of that, she projects it out onto hubby. Soon she is beating him
up, and hubby is wondering why the hell his wife is going for his goolies.
Suddenly his wife is looking an awful lot like Ma, and in turn his buttons
are getting pushed big time.
 

Drama disempowers
This is a classic drama. Drama can also occur in psychic space,
invisible to the eye. People can be expending enormous amounts of
energy on psychic “drama” without there being any visible conflict. The
Sage is able to work directly with the emotional and psychic energy as
it surfaces, then integrate and heal it. In other words, he is able to
assume responsibility for the energy.
The failure to love yourself completely and assume a high level of
responsibility for your emotional energy leaves you vulnerable to end-
less interpersonal and psychic battles. If you fail to reign in your need
for drama, you disempower yourself. The higher your propensity for
drama, the less creative energy you have left to manifest your Dream.
Drama depletes your energy, distorts your focus, and takes your at-
tention away from creating your Bliss.
Some time ago, I was involved in doozy of a drama. The situation
involved a certain think-tank and the development of a report for a
powerful international organisation. As a member of that group, I was
invited to participate. The discussion was all electronic, involving emails
and other web media. As it turned out, my contribution was minimal, as
I was busy at the time, and much of it was beyond my expertise and
interests. After several weeks, a final document was prepared.
 Many of the contributions had been rambling and the whole discussion
was quite disorganised, so one group member, Sean, bravely vol-
unteered for the onerous task of putting all the ideas together into
one intelligible document. This huge operation took him a month. When
the document was ready, Sean asked for comments from other par-
ticipants. Feeling guilty that I had not really contributed as much as I
should have, I offered to proof-read and edit the document. This is
where the drama started.
The document I received was rather shoddy, and had multiple prob-
lems. I felt numerous changes needed to be made. Yet time was running
out because we had to submit the report in only a few days. So I went
through it with a big red pen (so to speak), and made many
recommendations for changes. I then sent it into the group leader,
Harry, to see what he thought.
Harry was aghast. He said that everyone was too busy to go through
all my recommendations, so they would just have to leave it.
Here is where my ego checked into the hotel. I was annoyed that my
voice had been ignored. Then another group member, Chang, came
forward and stated that he also thought the document was well below
professional standard. Harry reiterated that other members had
looked at it, and hadn’t noticed any real problems. Sean wrote that if
Chang and I were not happy with the document, we could have our
names removed from it. He then blurted out that in all of his profes-
sional career, having had multiple publications as a writer and academic,
he had never received the kind of criticisms that Chang and I had put
forward. He was indignant. His ego had checked into the hotel too.
Things were now getting pushy at the hotel check-in desk. Chang
marched in and started clanging the bell at the front desk, demanding
service. He sent emails and made postings saying that he had published
twice as many books and papers as Sean, and that Sean had no right to
submit the paper without his consent, nor the right to erase his name
from the paper.
 I tried to be diplomatic, and posted several times apologising for any
misunderstandings. I got no responses, which again pushed my buttons.
Ignored yet again! Now I was trying to wrestle my ego and stop it from
grabbing an axe and running around the hotel foyer.
My part in the drama sprung from a childhood issue. My parents were
particularly strict, and believed that children should be seen, and not
heard. My father had little time for love and nurturing. Children were
basically tools for fixing stuff around the house, and a cheap source of
labour for the family business. Anytime I complained or acted up, I was
silenced with physical punishment, or sent to my bedroom without
dinner or TV. In my father’s defence, sometimes I got water if I was
really good.
Chang’s Soul Issues soon became clear to me. He wrote me an email.
Did he start off with an analysis of the situation, or telling me how to
resolve the problem? That would have been the rational approach,
after all. But no! He got straight into telling me about his childhood and
how everyone at school beat him up because he was different.
There it was in black and white. Chang’s investment in the drama
sprung from his wounded child. Yet Chang had no intention of accepting
responsibility for that hurt, and working towards healing and group
harmony. No, he wanted attention and sympathy from me, and justice
from the group for being wronged.
By that point I had worked on the issue, having completed several
sessions of Connecting with the Ego and Wounded Child, so I had pulled
my emotional energy out. I had taken responsibility. I worked on some
deep issues to do with my father and elder brother, especially some
anger and sadness that was lingering within me.
Because I have a commitment to honouring Spirit and a vision to
focus upon, I didn’t let Chang pull me back into the drama (which is
what he wanted). I checked out of the hotel, which wasn’t easy, as
there were bully-boys at the door trying to push me back inside.
I wrote a polite email to Chang telling him I was sorry for his child-
hood mistreatment, but suggesting that we should focus on resolving
the issue. Before I sent the email, I checked the intention behind it
(by letting my ego speak, and correcting it), and acknowledged anything
that was ego-based. The intention that underpins action is very impor-
tant if you want to resolve dramas; for even as you are saying or doing
one thing, at an energetic level you may be doing the opposite.
Sean was eyeball-deep in the muck of drama too, reacting from his
Soul Issues. My sense was that his father had punished him also, and
the criticism had generated a fear reaction, followed by anger. Where
there is anger, there is fear.
Eventually it all died down. The blood was washed from the hotel
carpet. In a final irony, I learned that Chang and I had been given the
wrong document - an earlier rough draft, not the final copy.
There was a broader group dynamic at work, also. All of us in the
drama had been seduced by the ego’s desire for power and attention.
We were looking for a greater level of recognition. The paper was our
passport to global-level power. It was about face, status, and prestige.
Entire cultures are built on such ego stuff. However, as soon as you
buy into the collective ego narrative, you become a channel for dark-
ness. Our group was generating a vortex of dark energy, which we were
all being sucked into. Our egos were being used as a channel through
which dark energy could pour.

The need for love

What the ego (and the wounded child) is really wanting is uncon-
ditional love, and attention. If it cannot get it from “you” in the form
of self-love and acceptance, it will seek it from outside. Ego agendas
are thus a substitute for love. So why bother with the agenda at all? It
is a distraction from your Bliss, and will only lead you into darkness,
because it will never light your heart from within. The wounded child’s
need for love and attention will not be met, no matter how high you
climb the ladder of status and power.
 You might become president of the most powerful nation on Earth,
but for your Spirit that has no value relative to the “achievement” of
finding love.
There was a lesson for me in the think-tank drama. My intention in
contributing to the production of the document did not reflect my
Bliss. It emerged from an ego agenda for attention, to be elevated in
status and power. It was a trap.
The “higher” you go in circles of power, the darker the energy tends
to get. Many powerful organisations and world leaders are magnets for
dark energy. Some individuals are particularly prone to becoming
ensnared within such energy if they have major unresolved issues of
pain and abandonment. For it is through the ego -and in turn the
wounded child - that dark energy manipulates us. This is one reason
why the world is so screwed up - ego and dark energy run the show.
It is vitally important to inform the young about the inner life of the
psyche. Current education does little to teach people about con-
sciousness.
Members of the think tank mentioned above have MBAs and PhDs,
have sold hundreds of thousands of books and written countless aca-
demic papers. Many hold positions of societal prestige and power. Yet
many are no more conscious of Spirit than high school dropouts. In
some cases, they are less aware, as their egos have completely taken
control of the ship.
It is important when dealing with higher levels of societal power that
you are clear about your intentions. Use the Connecting exercises to
check the ego (I outline these in Sage of Synchronicity). Otherwise
you might just find your inner pompous twit has become your outer
pompous twit, and you are in the muck up to your eyeballs.
*** 
 Sage of Synchronicity is now available. Find out more about
the book at www.mindfutures.com, or at Benjamin Franklin
Press Asia – www.eastwestfutures.com.. Presently you can
purchase a hard copy by mailing me, Marcus,
mindfutures@yahoo.com. Hard copies will also be available
from Amazon and other online retailers by the end of
January 2010.
The eBook version is now available at:
http://www.lybrary.com/marcus-anthony-m-29204.html,
http://www.cyberread.com/Sage-of-
Synchronicity/Anthony-Marcus-T/id321854/, and
http://www.entourageedge.com/e-books/self-help-2/sage-
of-synchronicity.html