French novelist Anatole France wrote: "An education isn't how much

you have committed to memory, or even how much you know. It's
being able to differentiate between what you do know and what you
don't." What don't you know?

It was one of those few cold fall days that Southern California
rarely ever experienced. The weather seemed to only add to my
already somber mood. The cool air chilled my bones as I stood within
my backyard swaying to the melody of medieval metal trying to take
my mind off my parents’ imminent divorce. It was the first Iron Maiden
album I had ever been exposed to—my first taste of what true lyrics
were. Over and over again, I played the title track “Dance of Death” on
my baby blue and gray CD player.

There was something about that song that had captivated me,
maybe it was the hidden message I felt lied within cryptic lyrics or
maybe the connection I had formed with it. Every word sung by Bruce
Dickenson conveyed the exact emotion I was feeling; yet the song
spoke nothing about family issues. Resting somewhere deep within the
lyrics I knew there was a story that far surpassed my once one-
dimensional viewpoint on the world.

At the time, I saw my life through the eyes of a child who had
never felt true grief. With the addition of my mom’s repeated suicide
attempts into the equation, my simple perception of the world was
transformed forever. As I tried to understand the agony I was feeling,
my emotions chose to keep me locked in an isolated state somewhere
between childhood and adulthood. I was alone in my struggle to
overcome the pain, but wasn’t mature enough to understand the
implications that came with death.

As I attempted to dissect the lyrics of the “Dance of Death”, I

began to move towards arriving (or you mean “and arrived”?) at an
inner bliss within myself. By forgoing my emotions and current carnal
being, I was able to see a deeper meaning within life and existence.
Our lives as humans were all linked to one another through this
unexplainable concept called death. It was an unavoidable fate that
we would all one day meet in a certain individual circumstance or
another. Whether my mom chose to end her visit on earth now or
continue to venture her life within its enormity, I had no say in her
decision neither would I pass judgment on choice that I didn’t fully
understand. After all, what lied beyond our current existence was a
mystery to me. If after our passing we floated as lost souls wandering
throughout universe or if we were reincarnated to live again, the end
result had no bearing on how I would live my life on earth; each day of
my existence I would make the most of the precious gift of life that had
been bestowed upon me. My time spent on this earth would not be
lived in vain.

Although the relationship between my mother and me inevitably

diminished in the years following, “A Dance of Death” had inspired me
to let a life (which is) independent from her. I was my own entity living
in an unpredictable world; she wouldn’t always be there to offer solace
in times of need. I learned to cope with this reality by seeing the vast
possibilities the world created. Even as a single person, I realized I
could change the world forever. My mom didn’t need to be there to
guide me through life; I could experience the journey for myself.

To this day, I still remain uncertain to the true lyrical meaning

behind the “Dance of Death”; it didn’t make a difference to me though.
My own interpretation of the “Dance of Death” had forever altered how
I viewed life. No one-sided explanation of the song could have affected
me in the same way. For an instance, I was able to have an out of
body experience allowing myself to realize I was not alone in this
problematic endeavor called life; I had been able to form a kinship with
a musician I had never even met. Although I don’t know all the
answers regarding our existence, I’ve grown to appreciate the common
community music creates; a community joining together people from
all walks of life relating to one another through creative energy.

Paragraph 2/3: What is your “once one-dimensional viewpoint on the

world”? What is your “eye of a child who never felt grief”? Sorry, but I
cannot imagine how you felt when sticking between childhood and
adulthood. It cannot be simply described by one word “agony”, or
“pain”, or “isolation”. It is way too general, when it should have been
something specific of yours.

Now I think I want to hear something personal from you. For example,
how did you react (just a few typical actions) at that time? How did
those actions lead you to the conclusion that “I was alone in my
struggle to overcome the pain, but wasn’t mature enough to
understand the implications that came with death?” (prove me that
you were alone, and you were immature)

Paragraph 4: Now I can’t imagine how the song guided you to such
state (no emotion, no sense, only thoughts), let alone how it helped
you along the way to your conclusion about death and life.

Okay, for the first half (what I say above about the state), you may say
“that’s really sudden”. Then show me it’s sudden. You can quote your
thoughts, your words at that time; writing without exclamation is not
the only choice.
For the last half, if you can make a comparison, then go for it. If, in
fact, the song had no obvious role, then I think you should make it
clear that the song only drove you to that state, and that the rest was
yours.

Paragraph 5: Again, how did you come to those conclusions? Do not let
the readers left wondering, “Hey, this person is “extraordinary”.
He/she jots words down and forces everyone to understand that is a
universal truth without any explanation!!!”

Overall: I still cannot comprehend your essay. You can regard that I
may not be a philosopher, not that great brain. However there will be
many people of different kinds to judge your application. If they are all
philosophers, you are lucky. If not, you are out. (I think even if I am a
philosopher, I still cannot understand what you were saying at all)
I don’t recommend you not to write something abstract. I only
recommend you to make it clear and LOGICAL.

Those are about how to write (actually how to CONVEY THE

THOUGHTS). Now about the prompt, I think you addressed it well. The
question is just “what don’t you know,” so don’t feel worried about the
previous quote, because it’s your choice to agree with it. In general, I
can feel that you know how to enjoy this journey of life, how to
discover it. What you don’t know is many, but I do know that you will
certainly pursue this journey till the end with self-confidence. Am I
correct? However the adcom don’t have as much time as I, so the way
you write will greatly decide your fate.