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34-35
CLARA T LPEZ MENNDEZ...........Mother so far........2-3
HANNA GUSTAVSSON........cover: THE MOTHER......front+back
JESS ARNDT.......Mothers..............................8-9
JOHANNA GUSTAVSSON.......................................
Wake up from this dream and fight!..................28-29
LENA SRAPHIN.............Characterization............4-7
MALENE DAM...........My mothers.....................30-33
PIA SANDSTRM.............To whom it may concern....10-19
ULRIKA GOMM.......Hunger............................20-27
M. O. T. H. E. R.
Mumbling miniature morning mists
Offering ornaments of orange ointments
The tufted tulip tipping the tears
Her hurried hair hurling her heirs
Earnest envisioning of eagle-eyed eggs
Retrace the remainder, rhythm of reds
from Samuel,
from Samuel R. Delany.
My mother is an African-American,
Science-Fiction, queer writer.
He lived as a queer person,
in a three-way open marriage
A complex, rich
never
be
feeling of
like
comfort
her.
with what,
Perhaps
back then,
just a little.
felt like
She inspires
my, our
me.
undeniable nature,
nostalgia.
by us.
Experiences transit in a
unidirectional manner, enough to
make me realize the nature of our
time.
kinship.
My mother is called
dear
Samuel R. Delany.
I guess Im ok.
I think I am ok at times,
prior to nominalization,
once in a while,
if I am happy.
of my misled misconceptions.
Mother
so far
Characterization
by Lena Sraphin
Mothers
by Jess Arndt
BLOCK
BLOCK
BLOCK
BLOCK
BLOCK
BLOCK
BLOCK
BLOCK
ABOUT
ABOUT
ABOUT
ABOUT
ABOUT
ABOUT
ABOUT
ABOUT
THE
THE
THE
THE
THE
THE
THE
THE
MOTHER
MOTHER
MOTHER
MOTHER
MOTHER
MOTHER
MOTHER
MOTHER
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
BLOCK
BLOCK
BLOCK
BLOCK
BLOCK
BLOCK
BLOCK
BLOCK
ABOUT
ABOUT
ABOUT
ABOUT
ABOUT
ABOUT
ABOUT
ABOUT
THE
THE
THE
THE
THE
THE
THE
THE
MOTHER
MOTHER
MOTHER
MOTHER
MOTHER
MOTHER
MOTHER
MOTHER
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
A
BLOCK
BLOCK
BLOCK
BLOCK
BLOCK
BLOCK
BLOCK
BLOCK
ABOUT
ABOUT
ABOUT
ABOUT
ABOUT
ABOUT
ABOUT
ABOUT
THE
THE
THE
THE
THE
THE
THE
THE
MOTHER
MOTHER
MOTHER
MOTHER
MOTHER
MOTHER
MOTHER
MOTHER
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
Hunger
by Ulrika Gomm
slowly fades
away
clock into
oblivion
repeat
repetitive motion
capable and diligent
hand touching items
and machine
that child lies
untouched
at the assembly line
in the origin of something
oblivion is born
all vitality gets lost
in the fabrication process
obedience gives birth to hate
for ones own
body
and for that child
helplessly lying
there
time passes by
that child shrinks
21
22
that body
wage is a
minimum
milk in the breast for
free
impossible to forget
those breasts
weekdays reappearing
so many times
becoming months
until the day when that child
is fetched
away
24
From being a country of emigration, Sweden changed after the Second World
War to become a country with large-scale labour immigration. This was
because of the enormous shortage of industrial labour. The visa requirements were therefore abolished for immigrants from a number of countries.
From autumn 1945 visas were no longer required for people from Denmark,
Norway or Iceland. The visa requirements for people from Finland and Italy were abolished in 1949, and for people from Turkey in 1952, for people
from Greece in 1953, for people from West Germany in 1954, for people
from Portugal in 1955, for people from Spain in 1959, and for people from
Yugoslavia in 1964.
25
Throughout the 1950s many people from Finland came to Sweden, in hope of
a better life with employment and decent housing. Most of their jobs were
in the cities, in heavy industry and engineering workshops, but there
were also some in the forest regions within the timber and forestry sectors. In their new country many faced housing shortages, discrimination
and oppression.
The import of labour during the 1960s was considered essential in order
for Swedish industry to expand and consequently for the national economy to improve, which was crucial for the development of the welfare and
social security systems with which Sweden is associated internationally.
The immigrants were employed in stagnating businesses and kept them running until the crises of the 1970s. With that recession many of the businesses and sectors that had employed immigrants during the 50s and 60s
were wiped out, and labour immigration almost completely stopped. But
people from the Nordic countries still had a common labour market, and
Finnish immigration continued all through the 1970s. The dominant view
among contemporary scholars regarding the reasons behind the free immigration of the 1950s is that it was introduced to reduce the shortage of
labour power during the boom, in order to prevent high pay increases and
to stabilise the economy.
Until the mid-1970s immigrants social conditions were regulated by several international conventions, such as the International Labour Organisations (ILO) convention of 1962 regarding foreigners rights to access
the same social security as citizens of the host country. Also important
was the Nordic convention of 1955 regarding social security for all citizens of Nordic countries. The visa requirement was abolished for many
nationalities in order to foster increasing labour immigration, many
years before the new law regarding immigrants social rights and security
was approved. As early as 1943 Sweden abolished the need for a work permit for citizens from other Nordic countries. Until then the purpose of
the Swedish Aliens Act had been to prevent or limit immigration into the
country.
Since 1974 Sweden has had legislation which gives women the right, under
any circumstances, to make their own decisions about abortion until the
18th week of pregnancy. As early as 1938 the law permitted abortion for
medical, humanitarian or eugenic reasons. In 2008 the requirement for the
woman to have connections to Sweden in order to be able to have an abortion was abolished.
In 1985 the government made a historic resolution for day care for all
children in Sweden. All municipalities had to expand their day care provision, so that all parents in employment or study could be offered day
care for their children from the age of 18 months. Since 2001 children
of unemployed parents have also had the right to day care for 15 hours
per week. A child without a residence permit does not have a right to day
care; a refugee child with a residence permit or asylum status has the
same rights as a child with a Swedish citizenship.
26
sources:
Growth Analysis
Swedish Agency for Growth Policy Analysis
UNHCR The UN Refugee Agency
Regeringskansliet Government office in Sweden
The history of the Finns in Sweden part 3, edited by Jarmo Lainio, 1996
27
Your son has passed. My son has drowned. Your child is dead. Smells and
damp air and free falling, I die. That's the simplest way to describe it,
I die, not big nor small, I just die, death. I feel his entire body
inside me again, but now with the size of a grown person, like a big
fucking mountain imploding and he remains inside me and I'm bursting but
keep myself together, I am not going to loose him. Everything in the room
is above me, everything in that room is on me, I loose my integrity, I
have no integrity at all. They with the body of an elephant with eyes
that eat and eat. I close my eyes and cut them off. I want to take him,
my memory of him, and push them off off me, off me, want to put my arms
firmly around me, like an embrace, and then slowly push them out to make
space, push their bodies away from me. Need space. Have no space. Have
panic. I imagine Julia and Johanna descending on me, cutting me out of
the picture, and levitating me out of here, in my imagination. In present
state, in the court room, I want to let go but don't know how. Hear Lola
Rodriguez De Tio's voice (is she there?) Despierta de ese sueo, que es
28
the room, he and I, and the room stands still and listens. I speak of
life before, growing up, losing love and loved ones and fellows and my
country and having a political awakening and finding no alternatives,
there is no choice anymore, I have to live to struggle and remain a
believer in the possibility of change but not being able to live on it,
in it! About pointing out a problem and becoming the problem. All the
time being the fucking problem! Killing joy! Killjoy! The room lies in
complete silence and I continue: GIVE ME ALTERNATIVES THAT IS NOT BASED
ON GROWTH! I scream, I cry, I'm awake, this is not a dream, I am on my
knees, I have fought Lola, believe me, and I have lost one to many things
at this point.
Curtains close.
Judge. Sentence. My verdict: 57 years. Out in 25. Cell next to cell, I
see this in front of me when I close my eyes and I smile even though I
know shit's bound to tear me apart.
Your cell Lolita, the wall paper has the same pattern as the immigrations
office. After 25 years in here we might forget how to lock the door,
forget how to take long strides, forget the horizon. But we will learn
again and practice every day. Feel a body and its limits. Inside out,
outside in. Let me be your mirror, let me be your horizon. We sleep next
to each other, pressed up against each other. At night I'm afraid, I wake
you up and we three talk, as always, we say: 1) You cannot have
solidarity between fragments, you need bodies. 2) We are different things
and we keep autonomous. 3) We are different persons and we respect the
distance in that fact. 4) To love is to agree to that distance, to adore
the distance that is between us and the one we love.
And this is the revelation of our unity. We are each others children, we
are a tripod and we are ready for anything to happen.
29
My mothers
by Malene Dam
I have mothers, whom I projected a father into, as big warm loving hugs
and fun times. Those are my big gay bear mothers as a Dad. Those came in
the moment when I was so desperate without even knowing it. I was in a
haze of becoming the artist thing, just out of gymnasium, having moved
away from my hometown to a bigger city, at art school. The artist thing
provided a role that was understood as avant-garde, something else, in my
small-town setting. Claiming this role became a way out of the suburban
mirrors of similarity, which could only reflect the very few.
I left those mirrors behind without ever looking back.
I would sit next to my then mother, Jan, my big gay bear art teacher and
we would paint watercolors. Mine from old family photographs of my dad
and I, - there were only a few. Jan from Google images of erect hairy
bears, he had many to pick from. My dad looked like these bears. But he
was still, quiet and untouchable. My mother as my gay bear Dad invited me
into his home and into his chosen family. He gently showed me another way
of living and having family.
We both came from the same small-town religious community of the West
Coast in Denmark. He had been a swimmer too. I enjoyed hearing the allure
of the saunas of his coming of age and wished I could transport those
memories into mine. They did not seem remotely available in my memory
box.
Jan created a community around this small local non-profit art school. He
became a formative figure for so many going on to art academy studies and
lives. For those of us coming from small-town uniformity this was a vital
moment. This mother figure was listening, fun, extroverted. He pushed,
tickled, and at times manipulated us into more courageous beings. Courage
was celebrated we had little podium dance parties in the middle of the
afternoon transforming the traditional art plinths into stages. He fostered a space where we could experiment together an everyday that was
30
different one that entailed hard work, fun, rigor and experimentation.
He gave our hunger a sense of form and direction. He was our big queer
mother, loving and pushy. I didnt know these could even exist.
Then there is the mother who held me when I was going through a hard time
at twenty. I had not dared to tell her. Afraid she was going to brush
over the heaviness I felt as some teenage stuff. She works in psychiatry. The heaviness had been occupying my body for half a year, and a
fear that it would never leave had crept in there too. This heavy bodily
feeling was outside of words. My mother suggested we take a nap and she
held me that fall afternoon. The boundaries of my body and self seemed
so intensely porous. Lying there, letting go and giving over what was my
adult body. I felt a continuum. My relation with my mother was there in a
stretched-out time all the changes that come with growing up yet always
with her care. Her love exceeds parental discipline and guidance. I come
back to this moment again and again. How my relation to my biological
mother is always also a profoundly bodily affective bind. Its different
from our strange mirrors of mimicry gestures, tones, sensitivities and
words we look alike. I carry this moment with me into friendships. When
I feel profoundly alone, I remind myself of my mothers wordless way of
being there and caring. I try to make these bodily moments a part of my
friendships. There are many ways of caring for each other. Understanding
relationships as continuums, simply knowing that our bodies are tied by a
love that moves beyond words, reason, and logic. To be held when you feel
most vulnerable and alone.
I have had would-be-mothers of authority. In the figure of the teacher in
my early education. I think I was unable to fulfill an image of the student they wanted me to be. I recall them as distanced. I felt unseen and
misunderstood. I guess I didnt fit the mold. I wasnt quiet or studious. Maybe a cocktail made for their disapproval. So it seemed. None of
these teachers asked me what I was trying to understand. It appeared to
me that the quieter boys had the same issues I had. They too did not fit
the mold.
These teachers held the promise of the mother in their very distance.
As mothers to the quiet good student girls. It felt conditional. Other
31
32
We face the world together get too loud together. Other times they are
there in the social anxieties being awkward together. When you can
share and see yourself with others the insecurities as well as the desires and pleasures, everything is a little easier, lighter and more fun.
The sense of being able to just be. We invite others in, always happy to
meet new dance partners. We are different, a bastard group of oddballs in
many ways. The way we care for each other in this odd bunch of a chosen
family is really to be each others mother. We all need mothers, queer
ones, in this world. Some that listen, understand, and celebrate our more
deviant sides.
In the weird life of an itinerant art person, these relations mold and
shift, grow in and out of intensities as geography and schedules shift.
But they are always there, these mothers. They form part of how I understand family. My chosen queer family, my friends, and my given family. All of these contexts of being together are profoundly formed by my
mothers, in all their figurations. I take them with me. They have taught
me about family, friendship and how we relate to other people. This text
could be much longer, and include many more, but for a moment I wanted
just to think about them.
33
Motherhood
by Cecilia Germain
34
hi!
this is an invitation to participate in
DISRUPTIVE LAUGHTER.
disruptive laughter is a publication of 5 issues. each issue will be available both online, as a pdf
for downloading, and in a small edition printed version. there will be some sort of release event in
the end when all the issues are done. so each issue will be more like chapters in the whole, and the
release is an event of gathering those five chapters.
to loose a little bit of the hierarchical curatorial role my idea is to invite three women to participate in disruptive laughter, and those three women will invite two women each to the project.
all together we will be ten voices. this is also a way to hear and listen to voices that you have
not met before. for every issue it will be the same ten women dealing with those different voices
given for each issue. so over time and for each new issue we listen and speak and in the end there
will be a multitude of voices heard.
disruptive laughter:
#1 THE VISIONARY
#2 THE MOTHER
#3 THE DYKE
#4 THE POET
#5 THE WARRIOR
my idea is that the project will be going on for about a year, with start sometime during late summer 2013. every second or third month there will be a new issue published. the idea to give you the
titles for every issue from the beginning, is so each and everyone of the participants can dispose
their individual ideas and contributions to fit their own creative process. and for every issue all
these 10 voices will meet, a multitude of identities, thoughts, lived experiences, dreams, standpoints, complexities and voices.
each participant will have about 5 pages for each issue (more or less if needed). the format will be
A4, standing, b/w. the material can be images; photos, stills, drawings and/or text; essays, concrete poetry, articles, speeches and so on.. the layout will be very simple. all the body text will
have the same font, if there is not a specific layout idea for a specific text.
it is important, if you decide to be part of this project, that you will be part of it through all
the five issues. this project is formulated with inspiration from Audre Lordes life and work.
looking forward to hear from you! please dont hesitate to contact me if there is any questions or
thoughts!
all the best
/Ulrika Gomm
April 3 2013
DISRUPTIVE LAUGHTER
is supported by Lngmanska kulturfonden.
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