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Raphael Mari Pierre S, Mallari (12A)

Ms. Caroline C. Laforteza
English Honors Program
24 August 2014

The Negative Effects of Being a Middle Child

Most families with children usually consist of an eldest, a middle, and
a youngest child. Each child in the household has his own identity and
behaves according to his birth order in the family. According to Linda Blair
on her book related to birth order, she said that different birth orders affect
the relationship children have with their parents and lead them to develop
various personalities (Blair 2013).
Often times though, the middle child is seen as the odd-man out and
exhibits a different attitude compared to his siblings. They tend to feel more
abandoned than the oldest or youngest child in the family, may become
irritable, get upset easily, or become the family rebel later in life. He sees
himself as lacking in parental attention making him either aggressive or
introverted. A middle child has a lot of insecurities about himself, creating
negative effects on his personality.

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For several years now, evidence has been unconvincing, but new
studies show that family position may truly affect intelligence and
personality (Hartshorne 2009). This paper aims to look into the negative
effects that middle children may be experiencing.

Behavior of Each Child With a Specific Birth Order

It is said that a child of a specific birth order in the family has a
certain personality. A past research showed that firstborn children are
more likely to be hard working, natural leaders, perfectionists, and
nurturing than other children. To test the validity of these traits, a survey
was done at Burlington High School. In the survey done among students in
that school, all of those characteristics applied to most first-born children
except for perfectionism (Nelson and Sibilski 5).

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The research also showed that middle children are most likely to be
independent, diplomatic, secretive about feelings, and laid-back. The survey
done revealed that half those characteristics apply to most middle children
at Burlington High School. Eighty seven percent of the students were laid
back, as seen in the chart below (Nelson and Sibilski 15). On the other
hand, a middle child being secretive and diplomatic did not apply.

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Other findings showed that youngest children were more likely to be

spoiled, charming, outgoing, and rebellious (Nelson and Sibilski 5). The
Burlington High School survey revealed that almost all those characteristics
applied to most last born children.

Based on the study made by Burlington High School, it seems that

middle children may develop problems in relating with others with their
common characteristic traits.

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Characteristics of a Middle Child

A middle child is one who is born a few years after the first child and a
few years before the third and last child. There are instances in which a
middle child feels neglected as the eldest is always getting attention
because he was an only child for a certain period of time and that the
third child also gets more interest being the baby of the family. Middle
children are therefore recognized to have low self-esteem, feelings of
jealousy, inadequacy, and a tendency to be introverted (Danish). They do
whatever it takes to seek the attention of their parents. It is believed that
middle children may feel cheated due to the fact that the firstborn child and
the newest child may be getting more of the parents attention than they
are (Rohlfer, Dumea, Kirk, Bracken, and Stirewalt 5). Since they feel the need to
compete with their older sibling and work hard to be successful in their
careers, they tend to be more social and outgoing. The middle child
usually acts as the peacemaker of the family who wants to end arguments
between the oldest and youngest siblings. It is also thought that middle
children have the highest chances of becoming well- adjusted and
successful adults because they were not dethroned from being a first born
child and were not spoilt like a youngest child might experience. The
middle child learns how to be diplomatic and develops good
negotiating skills because he is caught in the middle of the youngest and
the oldest child. They learn how to compromise and create stronger
bonds with siblings than with their parents.

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Being a middle child can have good and bad effects but it is usually
the negative effects that come into our minds when the middle child is
talked about. These effects are largely due to the insecurities that come
with being in the middle.

Causes of Middle Child Insecurity

According to Health Guidance, there are two main conditions that
may trigger the occurrence of middle child insecurity. The first situation
is described as an identity crisis wherein the middle child does not know
who he is and where he fits in. He is overshadowed by the
personalities and capabilities of his siblings which then allow him to
doubt his role in the family. Seeing the importance and attention given to
his siblings, the middle child does not recognize that he too is a valuable
member of his family unit. The next source that directs him to his
uncertainty is the lesser amount of recognition and support given
by his parents compared to his siblings. In most cases, the eldest and
the youngest child tend to be the favorites of the parents. Although the
parents dont mean to devote too much time to one child, the middle one
notices this and begins to degrade himself.

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Negative Effects of Being a Middle Child

Being middle children have negative effects on their emotional growth.
They tend to have low self-confidence and feel inadequate. Elizabeth
Danish says that the child can become aggressive and extremely
extroverted for his voice to be heard and his presence to be noticed.
Jealousy also comes into play as they resent everything that the other
siblings do. Too much jealousy and resentment pile up inside of them
making them angry and violent. Some can even become juvenile
delinquents just to be able to attract attention. In extreme cases, middle
children can even display "psychotic" behavior.
On the other hand, some middle children may become lonely, quiet
and overly introverted with very low self-esteem. (Danish). They may
sometimes seem a little "off" because they dont know how to fit in. They
become very introverted and somewhat unfriendly. It is not because they
are incapable of making friends but it is just that they are just too shy and
insecure to try and do so. Middle children may become depressed and lack
ambition as they are used to being unrecognized and being treated as
ordinary. They may tend to become passive and complacent with taking
prompts from others. They become underachievers whose inner potentials
are not developed. Being an introvert or an extrovert can both be negative
effects in a middle child.

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Conclusion
There are proponents who believe that birth order has its effects on
personality and that it may give a general idea of an individuals personality
which can be used to predict his future achievement. On the other hand,
there are others who think otherwise. They say that there are many
variables to consider to be able to conclude that birth order does have a
significant effect in the development of ones personality . Scientists still say
that further studies have to be made to prove that birth order has a real
influence over whom we grow up to be,

but at present, we should address the

possibility that birth order can have detrimental outcomes on an individual

(Hartshorne 2009). Furthermore, since many research findings seem to
show negative effects related to being a middle child, these have to be
addressed to gain the full potential of these young individuals.
The middle childs insecurities, which are triggered by self-doubt, greatly
affect his character and
his relationship with his family. They can tear down his confidence and even
downgrade his performance. On top of these, they can destroy the person as
a whole, making him not function well in society, leaving him alone and
desolate.
Even with all the deleterious effects that can result from being a middle
child on his personality,
there are ways to counter these. The key is for parents to treat all their
children exactly the same and always take their childrens feelings into

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consideration before doing anything making sure that things are as fair as
possible. There may be some cases wherein family counseling with a
psychologist or psychiatrist will be needed. Hopefully, with family support
and guidance from a health professional, the middle child can grow up to be
the best person he could be, attaining his full potential.

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Works Cited
Blair, Linda. Birth Order: What Your Position in the Family Really Tells You
About Your Character . U.K.
: Piatkus Books; 2013. Print.

Danish, Elizabeth.Middle Child Syndrome. Health Guidance. n.d. Web.16

July2014.

Hartshorne, Joshua. How birth order affects your personality. Scientific

American. January 8, 2009:
n.pag. Web. 15 July 2014.

Nelson, Emma and Emily Sibilski, Birth Order and Personality. Diss.
Burlington High School,
Print.

Rohlfer, Amy et al. Birth Order and Personality. Diss. California State
University. 2011. Print

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