From My Heart and

Out of My Mind
by
Pastor Don Bryant
Coastal Church
Volume 2

A compilation of articles written for the weekly

Coastal Update
Coastal Church
Hanover, Massachusetts
G
od is not always soft. Sometimes He says the hardest things in the most direct of ways, things
we need to face and would avoid if we could.
Romans 2:4 puts it this way. Did you think that because he's such a nice God, he'd let you
off the hook? Better think this one through from the beginning. God is kind, but he's not soft. In
kindness he takes us firmly by the hand and leads us into a radical life-change. If I understand
this verse rightly, God is going to make me face things I dont want to face, say things I dont
want to hear, and shock me into recognizing things I might be wishing away. I hate it when He
does that!!!! Sometimes He lets me down easy from my imagined fantasy world where
everything goes my way. But then there are those times when He grabs me by the scruff of the
neck, points my head in the direction He wants me to look, and says, Face it.

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There are lots of things I dont want to see. I dont want to see how deeply ingrained in me is
the pattern of self-absorption. I possess the ability to make everything I do appear spiritual when
in fact I am only feeding my ambitions, appetites, and unexamined drives. I dont want to see
how deeply I have hurt someone and therefore commit to the hard work of reconciliation. I dont
want to see how much I live in fear and act out of the instinct of self-preservation. I dont want
to see how wedded I am to circumstances and how little I trust God. And I certainly dont want
to see how long I have been in a pattern of denial about my true condition. I dont know if I
could take it. Could I have really been that wrong that long?
In Joshua 1, God makes Joshua face a brutal fact and He says it in a direct way. Moses my
servant is dead. Get going. Ouch!!!!! Couldnt God have put it a bit more thoughtfully, as in,
Joshua, I know you have spent most or your life following Moses and depending on his
leadership. What an inspiration he was to us all. Its not going to be easy to get past this, Joshua.
Dont expect to find your way easily. The wound must be deep and the longing severe. It will be
a while before you feel grounded and self-authenticating. (OK, God might not really use the
phrase self-authenticating, but it sounds soft, so lets just imagine).
But nooooooo!!!!! God just blurts it out Moses is dead; get going. I bet you have heard God
say something like that to you. The exact phrasing might change but the impact is just the same.
Face it, things wont be like they used to. Its your turn to walk by faith and not by sight. Its time
to move on.
Some time ago I was going through a great trial with a shoulder in constant pain. The arm
would hurt, the hand would grow numb and the doctors could find no cause. I complained,
moped, groused and generally made the whole world pay attention. One day my father-in-law, a
rather mild-mannered man of not many words, sort of meandered into the bedroom where I was
resting my injured parts. He spoke the words that got me out of bed and enabled me to go on.
He simply said, use your hand until it falls off. Thats all he said. He said it matter-of-factly
without inflection or self-righteousness. He was right. I got out of bed and moved on.
So what is it that God is being blunt about with you? Maybe it is the kindest cut of all.

ve been thinking about ambulances. From time to time I have seen them from the inside a
broken bone here, a kidney stone there. We all see them fly down the road, lights flashing
and horn blowing. We pull over and wonder who is inside and maybe whisper a quick
prayer for whoever may be suffering from whatever, asking God to heal them.
Ambulances stand for something very important. At least for a time, though it is short, they
stand for the reality that the suffering of the person inside is important enough that things as
normal give way ambulances run red lights, they break speed limits, cars pull over, the hospital
emergency room is ready, the doctors are notified, the EMTs give IVs, hook you up to a heart
monitor, call medical professionals, and in general reassure you that all that can be done is being
done. All of this for me, I ask? I remember being in the ambulance and looking out the back
window, watching cars pulled over to the side. Somehow it felt like a salute, people saying
well give way so you can make it.
The reality is that in our suffering we often feel left behind. The world moves on. The lucky
ones get ahead. And we feel selfish for asking someone else to pay attention. After all, who are
we that other people should slow down for us. We dont want to mess up other peoples lives.
But I am hazarding a guess that Jesus would like to do the ambulance runs. Emergencies are
His specialties. He will show up and say fear not, just when I am ready to panic. He will say

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peace, just when I am ready to think the worse. His eyes will lock on mine and say trust
me, just when I lose focus and descend into my fears.
Romans 15:3 puts it this way. That's exactly what Jesus did. He didn't make it easy for himself
by avoiding people's troubles, but waded right in and helped out. I took on the troubles of the
troubled, is the way Scripture puts it. Yes, Jesus wades right in. No fear, only confidence. No
problems, only plans. Just when I am running out of time, he takes the time. It is reported in
Mark 5:4 that Jesus simply stopped when he heard the cry of the beggars when he was on his
way to Jerusalem. Did you get that? He stopped. The suffering of just one was enough for
Jesus to put other plans on hold. Thats what an ambulance driver does. The sufferer comes
first, and for a time everything else is built around that one great reality.
So the next time you pull over as an ambulance flies by whisper a prayer for the person inside.
Then remind yourself that Jesus will do for you what those EMTs in the ambulance are doing for
the sufferer. And then thank Jesus that he is in the ambulance business.

nthropologists tell us that the thing that makes man distinct from other animals is that he
is a user of tools. He is able to devise tools and use tools to accomplish what he himself
would not be able to do alone. And it is amazing the tools we invent. Think of the
powerful instruments we create to lift things that need to be lifted, move things that need to be
moved, build things that need to be built, demolish things that need to be removed. Everyone of
us has extraordinary powers because we have extraordinary tools we can travel fast,
communicate fast, eat fast, play fast, work fast and still be sitting down while we are doing most
of it.
But tools can get us into trouble, too! I recently read about the men who used a blowtorch to
break into an ATM. Of course, they ended up torching the money inside. The tool they used
defeated the very thing they set out to do.
And I think some of the tools we use in the spiritual world can get us into trouble, too. We
can have an extraordinary sense of power and confidence, a belief in our giftedness, in our
knowledge, in our latest and greatest programs, campaigns and technology. But thats just the
rub when it comes to the Kingdom of God. Its not tools that we use that accomplish things in
that world because we ourselves are the tools, Gods tools. In fact, it is God who is the great
Tool User. Eugene Peterson puts it this way in his translation, The Message. As Jesus sends out
His disciples on mission, he says, "Don't load yourselves up with equipment. Keep it simple; you
are the equipment. (Luk 9:3-4)
I am a tool, not just a tool user, created by God to do something that He needed to get done.
He designed me, invented me, created me and now shapes me so that I fulfill my mission. I,
myself, am the means God uses. And what is it that enables God to use me? The Apostle Pauls
response is simple, weakness. The formula is simple, When I am weak, then I am strong. God
simply wants to use people who have come to the end of their rope, because the less there is of
them, the more there can be of God. When all that I am and all that I have falls before God in
absolute humility and dependence and surrender, then I become a tool God can use. Too full of
myself I become too unavailable to God.
This changes the way I see life, dont you think? Life is continually teaching me how much I
need Gods presence, and I often resent the lesson. But in fact, this is THE lesson, the
fundamental lesson in fulfilling my assignment. Its my own personal story of needing Jesus that
Jesus will use to change the world. If this is missing, then every tool I use to do Gods will

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wont work. It just wont. And if you try, like the men who used a blowtorch to open the ATM,
what you will find is charred ash.
So I have recommitted myself, not to using tools, but being a tool. I offer myself to God and
surrender my power, my abilities, my inventions, my self-confidence, my reputation, my resume.
I offer myself to God to hammer me, break me, melt me, and remold me until I am simply and
most basically a man who knows His God and is filled by Him.

keep trying to be simple. Some have suggested that I have succeeded, at least at the level of
simple-mindedness. But that is not the kind of simple I am talking about. I am referring to
being uncomplicated, a life story easily told with a few phrases: obeyed the commands of
God, fulfilled his obligations, got up on time, ate right, exercised, paid his bills, organized his
sock drawer and got his car oil changed every 3,000 miles. I dont now how I would get all that
on my tombstone as an epitaph. But it would be simple.
You know the routine. Keep life humming, purring, and dont muck it up with longings,
desires, risks and hunches. Erase the words adventure, daring, sacrificing, dreaming they are
just various ways to spell the word trouble.
But I am not simple, no matter how hard I try, and believe me, I have tried very hard. Things
keep popping up in me that go beyond mere duty, steadfastness and perseverance. Maybe this is
what the writer of Ecclesiastes was referring to when he observed that God has put eternity in the
hearts of men. In each of us there is the suspicion there is more, that out there somewhere there
is something glorious waiting to be known.
Sometimes we dont know how to handle the more that we suspect is out there. We do dumb
things as we follow longings, hopes, and look for the thrills of finding new paths and new
meanings. I wont validate the dumb things we can do. But I will validate the desire to be on an
adventure. And people alert to the longings of the heart will often get lost, end up at dead ends,
get scratched, bruised, broken and desperate. Their story will get very complicated.
I wish I could be a play-it-safe sometimes. Such people seem to have it so much easier than
me. They keep everything under control, ordered, their cards close to their chest, their mouth
shut and their heads ducked. They seem to never hear the siren songs that ring in my ears. But
there is something I would have to give up that I now know I dont want to give up and believe
that I should not give up - my heart.
As your pastor I know that you really arent simple either. You dont go in straight lines. You
get lost. At least most of you do. You didnt set out to get lost, to do dumb things, to choose bad
things, to shame your God or to wallow in selfishness. You are human and you have this thing in
you the Bible calls a heart the center of longing, desire, love and joy. And at times you dont
know what to do with the heart. It wont shut-up, quiet down, go away or take a break. If it
would, you could be simple. But you wouldnt be you and that would be the worse blow of all.
Jesus understands. He gave you the heart you have, and rather than just listening to our
hearts, lets listen to the one who made the heart and knows how to use it to get us where he
wants us to be. I have come that you might have life and have it abundantly, Jesus said. (John
10:10) Trust Him. He will give the life that answers to the hearts desire for joy.

ve been thinking about chasing God, hunting, if you will. The apostles learned that Jesus
shows up in unexpected places at unexpected times and is at first unrecognizable. This isnt
a game of hide and seek. Jesus is training the spiritual eye to see what is there, who is there.
You remember how Elisha prayed that the eyes of his servant would be open to see all the
heavenly hosts encamped around Israel. (2 Kings 6) In this day of the Lords resurrection, we
pray that our eyes would be open to the reigning Jesus. But the seeing begins with us. We have
to develop the hunters eye.
In the New York Times Magazine of March 26, Michael Pollan writes of the experience of
becoming a hunter. If I was going to eat meat, he writes, I was going to learn how to hunt-to
stalk and kill. And butcher the animal whose flesh I savored. As it happened, I learned a lot
more than that. He learned that it was more than just aiming a gun and firing. He learned that
hunting was getting past oneself and tuning into the world. He goes on to write of the
experience. When I could hear Angelos footsteps no longer, my ears and eyes started tuning in
everything. It was as if Id dialed up the gain on all my senses, or quieted myself to such an
extent that the world itself grew louder and brighter. I quickly learned to filter out the static of
birdsong, of which there was plenty at that early hour, and to listen for the frequency of specific
sounds, - the crack of branches or the snuffling of animals. I found I could see farther into the
woods than I ever had before, picking out the tiniest changes in my visual field at an almost
inconceivable distance, just so long as those changes involved movement or blackness. The
sharpness of focus and depth of field was uncanny, though, being nearsighted, I knew it well
from the experience of putting on glasses with a strong, new prescription for the first time.
Hunters eye, Angelo said when I described the phenomenon; he knew all about it.
This is a physical example of what I want to be spiritually. Alert for the Presence. A depth of
field vision that sees through and not just with the eye. An ability to filter out noise and hear the
steps of Jesus.
The people I like to be around have Hunters Eye. They see Jesus in just those places I only
see the confusion of brambles and underbrush. They point and say, See, there He is. I
respond, No, I dont see, but in the meantime I will take your word for it and trust that He is
with me until I can see, too.
You can be someone elses Hunters Eye. Keep helping people see the nearness of Jesus.
Identify with their lostness and confusion and pain, but dont stay there. Bring them Jesus.
Romans 10:8 says it this way, The Word is near you Some see and some do not.
Elizabeth Barrett Browning expresses the same truth this way. Earth is crammed with
heaven/and every common bush afire with God. But only he who sees takes off his shoes. /The
rest sit round it and pluck blackberries.

he largest class at Harvard now is a class on happiness. Over 800 students crowd the
classroom to learn about the illusive nature of happiness and to develop the skills that will
nourish a happy life.
The professor teaching the class wonders aloud about post-traumatic stress disorder, in which
a single trauma can damage a person for life. He questions if it might be possible to create the
opposite phenomenon, a single glorious, ecstatic experience that could change a person for the
better for life. If one phenomenal and tragic event can send a person spiraling down into a life of
pessimism and worry, is it possible for the opposite to happen an extraordinary and positive
event that will send signals for the rest of ones life that hope is the final and last response.

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The Christian says yes. And then points to the resurrection of Jesus. Easter is a historical
event that moves happiness out of the realm of the psychology of positive thinking to a reliable,
accurate and empirically true assessment of how things really are. Anyone who is not happy is
not merely weak. They are also blind - blind to what has happened in history that changes the
true state of affairs.
Yes, there are plenty of things that hurt. There is a lot of suffering to go through in this world.
But we see not just with but through the eye. We pass through the event to the other side, the
side that reveals Christ on the throne working out the plan to bring all things together into that
harmonious whole of which his resurrection is only the beginning.
We can speak of a post-traumatic-disorder. But we can also speak of a post-resurrectionorder. If there is really one who encountered the worst this world can throw at a person and
overcame it, and that one is now the one who lives and wants his life to be my own, then I can
never look at the world the same way again.
This way of looking is a skill I need to develop, because left to my myself I will see the world
in the old way. But now with intention, focus, and alertness I see Christ. If then you have been
raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of
God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died,
and your life is hidden with Christ in God. (Col 3:1-3)

ant to live longer? Dont be famous!!! I read an interesting statistic the other day.
Baseball players in the Hall of Fame live an average five years less than other
ballplayers. Interestingly enough, extraordinary performance that turns the head of
the crowds is rewarded by a shorter life.
The article didnt speculate on why that was so, but I think we can all hazard a few guesses.
One is that extraordinary fame brings more than ordinary pressure. Once you are in the public
eye, then the crowds demand to be heard. And the crowds can be pretty demanding. You can go
from doing something beautifully and well simply because you love it to doing the extraordinary
merely to stay afloat in the opinion polls. And those are two very different motivations. The
first keeps the wheels humming and the second grinds and churns.
So much work that is done for the Lord begins out of love for Him. The desire for
recognition and reward is far from the mind. Gratitude and worship lubricate the gears that turn
the wheels of ministry and service. It is duty that calls us but it is love that makes us do duty
beautifully.
And then someone notices! They applaud, affirm and ask for more. Its natural. We all want
to be around those who out of love lift up beautiful offerings of service to our God. But now
something new is going on, something we hadnt planned on and dont even think about at the
first. What we did initially out of love becomes tainted with love of praise. God gets small, and
people get big. And before we know it the desires of others become our masters.
Its like a baseball player who is in the zone of a very good year focused, fit and ready,
enjoying the display of something pure and natural and sweet. And then the next year he is
judged by the year before. His market price goes up or down based on comparisons. The press
speculates about whether or not he can maintain it. They look a bit more carefully, criticize a
little more deeply, dismiss a bit more breezily. And before he knows, the ball player is reading

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the papers the next day for the latest opinion. I think we would all agree that this is a terrible way
to live.
I would like to do a survey. Do hall of fame Christians live longer or shorter than the
average? (Not sure how we would determine hall of fame standards or average, but you get the
point). My guess is that a lot of what we call superior spiritual performance can be chalked up to
the pressure of the crowds, not because those who so perform are hypocrites and seek only praise
from men, but because they are afraid. The crowd can wound, and it is just too easy to be a has
been.
The crowds new one thing about Jesus. He performed for an audience of one. His critics
admitted that he never preached in order to pander to men and their opinions. "Teacher, we know
that you are true and teach the way of God truthfully, and you do not care about anyone's
opinion, for you are not swayed by appearances. (Mat 22:16) Jesus Himself asked, How do
you expect to get anywhere with God when you spend all your time jockeying for position with
each other, ranking your rivals and ignoring God? (Joh 5:44)
Lets get back to beautiful! Lets return to love! Forget the hall of fame. Itll kill you.

number of years ago I drove with a team of men to help build housing for missionaries.
I was driving the RV. Unrecognized by me the lights of the RV were growing dimmer all
the time. (Come to find out later on, the alternator had flunked alternating, and the
lights were working directly off the battery). I actually didnt notice that my lights were growing
dimmer. As long as I was on the freeway there was the light of other cars giving me enough light
to see. (Isnt that like most of us living by the light of others with no real brightness of our
own?) But when I came to my exit, I suddenly found myself with no other cars around, and it got
really dark in a hurry. I slowed way down and inched my way along. The RV was moving
forward, if you could call it that. Strange how I never really concluded that its too dark;
something must be wrong with the headlights. It all happened so gradually.
Out of no where I saw blue lights, and it was you know who. He informed me that I was
driving in the dark. He asked me where I was going, and then he said, Follow close behind me.
Use my light.
Jesus said, No one who believes in me will stay in darkness. (Jn 12:46)
That is exactly what Jesus does. He comes beside me and gives me the benefit of his light. I
am the light of the world. (Jn 8:12) God is out there in this thing we call the future, He will
meet us, and He will say, Follow my light. That means that what is ahead of me is meeting
Him.
But I guess all of this begins with me fessin up to how lost I am and how dark it is when I
try to use my own light. It could be that we dont know how lost we are or how dark it really is.
We get used to things being the way they are.
Here are some questions that will clue you in: 1) Am I living by a strong moral compass or
have most of my decisions been made by whats convenient and immediate? 2) Am I
consciously paying attention to the light of Gods Word and the example of Jesus, or am I just
muddling along? 3) Am I borrowing my light from other Christians in a way that takes the place
of Gods directing and leading in my own life? 4) Have I found myself in a besetting sin that no
longer bothers me because I have become used to the darkness?

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For most of us the light doesnt shut off all in one moment. Wed notice! It just grows
dimmer day by day, and then through some heart-stopping moment we find out we are lost. Can
we say blue, flashing lights?
As the Bible exhorts us, "Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on
you." (Eph 5:14) There is a lot of light, enough to go around. Walk to the light.

hoveling snow at night has to be on anyones top ten list of things not to do, but some
things cant wait until morning light. So out I go to clear the driveway, porch and walk.
Sandy, our cocker spaniel, of course, requires her own special place for me to shovel out,
and she waits up on the porch until I get it done. Do they make shovels for dogs?
While shoveling the spotlight on the house keeps going off leaving me in the dark. It is one
of those sensor lights that come on when they detect movement in a certain area of space. The
switch on the inside of the house may be on, but unless there is motion on the outside of the
house, it stays dark. Sharon calls out and offers some direction to get the light back on. Move a
little closer toward the driveway. I do, and the light comes on. Move out of the sensored area,
and the light goes off.
The switch is on, but it does me no good unless I walk where the light will shine. And the
light of Gods presence and joy and fellowship in Him shines, too, but I must walk in the light.
But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the
blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. (1Jo 1:7)
I dont earn the light, deserve the light, merit the light. I simply find out where the light
shines and walk in it. The Bible tells me a couple of things about the light. First, the light shines
in Jesus. In Him the fullness of God is pleased to dwell. Gods light radiates from the center of
Jesus of Nazareth. Allegiance to Him, trust in Him, love for Him, and focus on Him brings me
into the place where Gods grace falls and His leading and providing are available. Trying to live
life without Christ is darkness.
Second, I move toward the light as I commit to being more and more like Jesus. You love
me if you obey my commands. It certainly would be a strange thing for God to bestow His light
on us while we are moving away from the image renewal God wants to work in us using the
template of His own beloved Son.
Sharon calls out to me in the darkness, Move over toward the driveway and the light will
shine. I move. The light comes on. Not bad. Jesus says, Move over toward by ways and
leave your darkness behind. The light comes on. Better still.

he Bible is right. In the presence of many words, sin is not absent. Heres the fact: the
more we speak, the more we sin. Do I have a witness?
So maybe it is simple. Just say little and sin less. For some of us who grew up in unsafe
homes, this makes sense. Dads rages and moms moods taught us early on that we speak at our
own risk. Words could be taken too wrongly too quickly, so it was best to zip the lip and play
absent. Or maybe we have had an experience with a friend who turned out not to be a friend but
a spy and used our words against us. We were thinking out loud by talking out loud and assumed
our friend would be able to tune out the chaff and search for the good. Come to find out they
were holding us accountable for every word.

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Is this the kind of carefulness the Bible is commending? Im not so sure. The reality is that
sometimes I dont know what I am thinking until I say it to a friend, or maybe to anyone, maybe
even an enemy. We are relational and not fully formed in and of ourselves. It is in relationship
that truth comes into view and takes shape. It is people who wonder and wander and doubt and
ponder and consider and mull over together who get close. People who dont need people to
share thoughts and sharpen opinions are like those old take your weight and tell your fortune
machines. Put in your quarter. Youll get back words but it wont be a conversation.
There are some things we really know and dont need to have a conversation about. But
theres a lot more we wonder about and need help thinking through.
All that to say I have opened a blog at www.donbryant.wordpress.com. Its a place where I
think out loud. (Someone told me Im going to regret this). But I really do want to let you know
what Im thinking, conversational style. My wife Sharon has often told me that just because I
think something that doesnt mean I have to say it. So true! But I also want to believe that
friends want to talk about things, talk over things. I want to do that with you, but only if you
want to.
Ill be writing about lots of thingschurch, theology, politics, articles and books I read,
things I affirm as good and true, things that cause me concern, and you (no, just kidding!!!!)
You can easily join in the conversation by posting your responses. You dont have to give
your real name but can choose a username, but your email address will be available to me if you
reply (and not to the other readers). Its a public discussion with my thoughts being the
springboard. If I respond to your post or someone else does, youll get an email notification. Or
just check the site regularly to see what subjects are coming up.
Lets visit together and keep in touch!

very so often you will run across an article on some of the most famous lines out of the
movies that have entered the language of everyday conversation. One of the lines is from
Dirty Harry, Do you feel lucky, punk?
Let me ask you a question. Do you? Do you believe that you are about to be blessed? Do
you think that the best day in your life is about to happen any day now? Contrary to what life
might seem like right now, do you think that any moment the sun is going to break through those
clouds? And, if something really blessed has come your way, do you think it is a fluke and
probably cant happen again, at least not any time too soon?
In 1 Corinthians 1:10 the Apostle Paul writes, And he did it, rescued us from certain doom.
And he'll do it again, rescuing us as many times as we need rescuing. As many times as I need
rescuing? I need rescuing an awful lot, you know. Paul, I inquire, are you saying that luck (in its
Christian form) doesnt run out? Are you saying there is more where that came from?
I think that is exactly what Paul is saying and what Paul wants me to believe. There are times
I get rescued by God by what seems to be the skin of my teeth. The response of the flesh is that I
cant depend on that too many times. Its not the normal way of things. Im not sure I want to be
out on that limb again.
The reality is that people who are living all out for God need rescue on a regular basis. They
are not doing the ordinary and the usual. They are taking risks, daring to do and to believe that
God will be there when they, like Abraham, set out on a journey that only God has the map to. If

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you believe that rescues are limited, unusual, rare and generally dispensed with some limit in
mind, then you arent going to risk much for Christ. Youll be a play-it-safe.
I want to believe that each day God will work another rescue for me not because I have
lived a foolhardy life (though even then I will need His help) but because I dared to believe and
burn and dare and do for the Saviors sake. I want to wake up each day and say with faith, do it
again, God, and know that I am not pressing my luck. I dont want to just believe in miracles. I
want to count on them.

he newspaper article caught my eye. Dead Man Rides Subway For Hours. Apparently
he got on the train a bit after midnight and was discovered the next morning around
7AM, sitting in the same place he had been for hours. He had a heart attack soon after
getting on, but he hadnt fallen over. He died sitting upright. So he appeared alive.
Youve got to know where Im going with this!!! Churches across our land are filled with
people who look alive. If they fell over in their seat on Sunday morning, we would pay
attention. But as long as they are sitting up, they must be okay! Arent they? Spiritual death is a
bit harder to detect. It can be there even though the clothes are clean and coordinated, the hair
nicely quaffed, the colognes and hairsprays aromatic, the teeth pearly white and the smile fixed.
But no one knows they are dying inside and the flame is about out. Maybe there is a deep regret
that they cant get out from under. Could be a disappointment that signals life is at an end and
there are no doors to walk through to the other side. Perhaps there is a tape that they keep
listening to over and over that plays the words spoken many years ago by a parent, spouse, child
or friend that wont stop and wounds them a thousand times over. A general sense of lostness
could be overtaking their consciousness though they are doing their best to avoid the truth that
life has been wasted. A temptation could be huffing and puffing and about to blow their door
down, and they feel they walls of their lives shaking and the floor moving.
But by and large we assume the best. If they are sitting up straight, they must be doing well
enough. The trains policy for their employees is that if someone is sitting up, no employee is
allowed to touch them. So if you die sitting up, you could be on that train for a long time!!!
Here is the bottom line: if you are going to know whether or not a person is dead, you have to
touch them. When we are around people, we should be touching them. Good touching, that is.
Bad touching is just being nosy and invasive and impolite. Bad touching is an attempt to
dominate, get our way, distrusting people and interjecting ourselves into their lives.
Good touching is engaging and listening. It allows a person to send the signal, if they want to,
that they arent really doing very well. (After all, if you feel like you are dying who do you talk
to?) Good touching is described by Leighton Ford as similar to running our finger ever so softly
around the lip of a cup until we feel the crack that the eye easily misses. And, as Ford makes
clear, if you connect well, authentically, sincerely, most people will get around to the subject of
how they are doing. And if they feel really safe with you, they might get around to the secret
they have been hiding and embarrassed to reveal; they are thinking a lot about God and what it
might mean to take Him seriously.
I have a fear. Rather than reading someday in the paper, Dead Man Rides Subway For
Hours, I might instead read Dead Man Attends Coastal For Years. And the subtitle would be,
And No One Touched Him.

11

he Patriots loss was hard to see. This is one game when you can say for sure that they
gave it away. Their game plan was sound, they were learning how to handle the blitzes,
they were moving the ball. They could have won, should have won, would have won,
but
I think that can be said about a lot of us. Mostly what we are doing are good things. We get
up and go to work and even get there on time. We give the boss a good days work for not too
good of a days pay. We come straight home and pay attention to the family or the chores or the
pets. And we dont kick the dog!! Bills get paid on time, mother gets called, birthdays
remembered, special occasions recognized. We try to lose a few pounds, exercise in fits and
starts, watch a bit less TV, read a bit more, and stop smoking.
But at critical moments we cough up the ball! We didnt mean to, plan on it, or decide it. But
in the trenches of day in and day out war (thats how the Bible talks about living) we lose the ball
and things start turning the other way.
I have a couple of interpretations of moments like that. The first doesnt sound so spiritual,
but I think it is true. Were human, and we blow it. In case you havent noticed lately, were not
God. No excuses here. Just an observation. It doesnt mean there arent consequences, that it
can just be overlooked, that in the long run it doesnt matter. After all, the Pats arent going to
the Superbowl. But no one gets it right all the time. (I think the Bible says that somewhere).
The second observation is this. You can make all the perfect game plans you want, but game
plans dont win games. People do. And its the small things thatll kill you. Its the day by day
stuff in the trench warfare we call life that makes life work keeping your peace, holding your
tongue, extending a hand, keeping promises of whatever sort made, showing up on time and
ready, being mindful of the weak and the left behind. These arent the big game plans; they are
just the normal everyday behaviors that the big plans require. Often we are going in the right
direction, wanting the right things, making the necessary preparations. And then bam! (as Emeril
would say). We cough up the ball a broken relationship, a promise unkept, a track record
squandered, a word that cant be brought back.
Small things matter. Stay awake, keep alert. Do little things well. Dont forget that what we
do daily is who we are and what we will become. I guess that is why Jesus said if we are faithful
in small things then hell give us a shot at handling the big things The more and more I listen to
Him, the smarter He gets.

emember the song, You Dont Know Me? It comes to mind after reading the latest
Barna Update. George Barna is the Christian version of George Gallup, polling and
probing the church for signs of its direction, health (or unhealth), trying to keep us all up
on whats down with all of us born-againers. Anyway, the headline in his most recent
update reads, Surveys Show Pastors Claim Congregants Are Deeply Committed to God But
Congregants Deny It!
Plainly stated this means that its worse out there than I thought. The Barna study discovered
that pastors believe a large majority of their congregants deem their faith in God to be the highest
priority in their life. On average, pastors contend that 70% of the adults in their church consider
their personal faith in God to transcend all other priorities. Amazingly, as many as one out of
every six pastors (16%) contends that 90% or more of the adults in their church hold their
relationship with God as their top life priority!

12
In contrast to the upbeat pastoral view of peoples faith, a nationally representative sample of
1002 adults was asked the same question i.e., to identify their top priority in life and a very
different perspective emerged. Only one out of every seven adults (15%) placed their faith in
God at the top of their priority list. To make an apples-to-apples comparison, the survey isolated
those who attend Protestant churches and found that even among that segment of adults, not
quite one out of every four (23%) named their faith in God as their top priority in life.
The conclusion is that we (you and me) are often not on the same page. How do pastors get it
so wrong, Barna asks? The fact is that pastors were 21 times more likely to evaluate on the basis
of whether people showed up (i.e., attendance) than to determine whether people experienced the
presence of God during their time at the church. In other words, if you are still breathing and
show up and are involved, then, so the story goes, I supposedly think you are doing ok. (By the
way, the people groups least likely to put God first were adults under 30 years of age and
residents of the Northeast).
In my better moments I understand , as CS Lewis wrote, that we are all in the hospital, and the
difference among us is that some have been there a bit longer and know their way around. But I
admit, I sometimes duck my head and dont want to see what is so clearly true how desperately
we need Christ and how confused our lives can get. On a regular basis we do what we dont
want to do, dont do the good that we want to do, and get caught up in habits, hurts and hang-ups
that mess up our lives. Maybe the reason I dont want to see it is that I would have to admit that
church as usual doesnt hack it. Maybe I would have to change too much how I do ministry.
Maybe I dont love enough and value enough the personal angst of those of us who would say
help me if they thought anybody would listen and could guide. Maybe I am afraid that I wont
be able to really help at all, that I am not deep enough, mature enough, Spirit-anointed enough or
whatever the latest buzz word is. Maybe I just wont have quick answers and have to return to
the Fountain and drink and wait, like the disciples waiting in Acts 2.
I wonder one more thing. Do congregants think Pastors are more spiritually committed than
they really are?
Oh, by the way, how are you doing?

een thinking about a song. You know how that is. Psychologists tell you the way to stop
obsessing about a song is to go ahead and sing it all the way through. For those of you
who have heard me sing, you know that will kill any song. But I dont want to kill this
song, or sing it. I want to live it.
Its by Steven Curtis Chapman, titled The Walk. Some of the lyrics go like this:
I got a grandpa Rudd/Well, he gave thirty years to the lumber yard/Lovin' his family and
working hard/Got a faith like a solid rock/he's just doing the walk
I got a friend named Larry/Sends me letters from a foreign land/He moved there with his
kids/and his pretty wife Mary/to answer a holy call/He's just doin' the walk
Well you can run with the big dogs/
you can fly like the eagles/you can jump through all the hoops/and climb the ladder to the
top/But when it comes down/You know it all comes down to the walk

13
I get filled with big plans, grand dreams, everything working out my way. Then I start
pushing, not following. Then I forget the walk, the day-by-day stuff that Christ calls me to do.
This is the stuff that no one gets exempt from, no matter what circles they run in, what degrees
they have, the size following they attract, you name it. Everyone has their version of what keeps
them jacked. And all of a sudden we wake up and find out we arent doin the walk. We still use
the words, sing the tunes, do the ceremonies. Still religious. But we are irritable, easily
impolite, unmindful of the weak and struggling, escapist of our duties, and out of control of our
appetites. We didnt set out to disobey God. Were just not listening anymore. We forget about
being ordinary, disciples with no exemptions, running the race like all must do. Talents dont
exempt me. Skills are not a free pass card. Education is not an exemption from doing what all
Christ-followers must do.
I think of this when I think of how I spent my Christmas. A lot goes on this time of year for a
pastor. Extra services with special and unusual touches that no one demands but would be nice.
No matter how well you think things are under wraps, things pop up that keep me hopping. In
the midst of this the Bryant boys required a bit of extra help. Ben had sinus surgery and Jon
needed my help back in Chicago for a move-down four floors and up four more somewhere else.
Being with and taking care of the guys was a huge chunk of Christmas 2005. Nothing grandiose.
Just being a dad, following through on commitments, accepting responsibilities, getting er done.
Not an interruption or detour or distraction. But loving mercy and doing justly.
As Jon and I sat in the service at Willow Creek Church near Chicago last Sunday and I felt
like I was catching my breath for the first time in weeks, the Praise Team launched into this
Chapman song. It was like they sang it for me, Gods way of saying, Don, this trip, this work,
the airport runs, the late nights and very early mornings are all just walking the talk. If this was
missing, nothing else would count.
So wherever you are, do the walk. Be basic. Dont jump over the routines, forget the
ordinary. Make sure you don't take things for granted and go slack in working for the common
good; share what you have with others. God takes particular pleasure in acts of worship--a
different kind of "sacrifice"--that take place in kitchen and workplace and on the streets. (Heb
13:16)

dont mess up in normal ways. In fact, sometimes you gotta laugh. If you think Im laughing
because Im just the happy sort, think again. Let me give to you an example.
For most people with computer printers, paper jams are a pretty regular occurrence. But I
couldnt have a pretty regular occurrence. Noooooooo! I had to have a compact disc jam.
Not had one of those? Probably not. Like I said, I dont mess up in normal ways.
It all begins with not putting your cd back in its case after listening to it. It begins with just
laying it on a flat space that happens to be convenient at the time, like on top of the paper that is
stacked in the printer. And then all you have to do is forget you put it there and later on print a
file. In goes the cd when the paper is sucked into the printer. Some awful noises. No, printers
dont play cds!!
At first I couldnt figure it out. Paper jams dont make those kind of sounds! Sure enough,
the cd was somewhere inside the printer. They dont quite bend like paper.
It got me thinking about the parts of my life I leave laying around and not paying attention to.
The ancients practiced the discipline of what they called collection. Its sort of like a spiritual
version of rack em up in billiards. After each game, the players collect all the balls left on the

14
table and in the pockets and put them in a rack. Its a fresh start. Soon enough the cue balls of
life will roll down the table at lightning speed and split us apart pieces of us lying all over the
place after challenges, fears, regrets, failures, sins and confusion. But we cant live that way.
If we dont gather these things up and offer them to Christ for forgiveness, fresh perspective
and new resolve they will jam up the living of this life to which we are called. How many things
come back to haunt us that we didnt deal with, had forgotten about, but were just laying there
waiting to cause a great deal of damage. It could be a broken relationship we just let lie, or a sin
that we convinced ourselves was not really a big deal. Maybe it is a fear we are running from. A
habit we cant manage. A hang-up that keeps tripping us up. These things really dont go away.
Colossians 1:20 says of Christ,
All the broken and dislocated pieces of the universe--people and things, animals and atoms--get
properly fixed and fit together in vibrant harmonies, all because of his death, his blood that
poured down from the Cross. Christ puts every part of us back together.
Be alert to life. Dont sleepily move from one day to another, dull to the life of growth, focus
and purpose. Bring all of you to Jesus. You cant afford to have a part of you that is not touched
by Him and fit into His plan. Ignorance of our lives is a luxury we cant afford.

shared with the Flocks gatherings a guide to worships meaning. Using the word worship
as an acrostic, we are reminded that our Sunday celebrations are to be characterized by:
Wonder The Bible says that when Christ returns we will marvel at Him. We will find Him to
be wholly more than we ever could have imagined. Certainly now our gatherings should be
characterized by
Openness Wherever we find true worship in the Bible we find Gods people saying, Here am
I, send me. True worship is a life sacrificed to God for His glory. True worship is costly
worship
Repentance Isaiah sees the Lord and cries out, Woe is me. God doesnt just blow our
minds; He embarrasses our consciences. Readiness for worship means honesty about our true
condition and need for deep forgiveness. Lament and mourning should be as characteristic of
our gatherings as exuberant praise and glad shouting. We dont just take up the tambourines;
we also pass the Kleenex.
Sincerity Jesus taught us that God is looking for worshipers who will worship Him in spirit
and in truth. This means to be simply present before Him for who I am, not relying on rituals
or ceremonies to substitute for the face-to-face meeting with God.
Hands I come to worship to give a helping hand to the weak, the struggling, those who
straggle behind. I arrive early to look for them and encourage them. I stay late to talk with
them. Worship is more than about me. It is us.
Intentional I mean to worship. Its a value, priority, and goal that I build my life and schedule
around. Like the early church that met together daily to devote themselves to prayers and the
apostles teaching, I make sure that my basic responsibility is to work out my new identity as a
child of God by being with the children of God together before our Father.
Participation We are the worshipers. We dont come to worship to see what the church has for
us. We are the church and God is the audience. We worship; we sing; we praise; we pray; we
repent; we receive an assignment from God. Worship is not what someone does for us. Each
one of us is given something by God to contribute. Everyone gets in on it.

15
Keep this list somewhere, maybe in the Bible that you bring to worship. Use it much like a pilot
goes through his check-off list before flight. Review these seven characteristics of worship one
at a time, and then say to yourself: check, check, check, check, check, check, check.
Thoughtfully and intentionally we ready ourselves to come into the presence of God. And may
God be glorified!!

ver called for human help but got stuck up a companys phone tree? For your life you
cant find a human voice. There are just some things an automated voice at the other end
cant help you with. The electronic responses dont get the job done.
There is a fellow out there who has cracked the codes of the automated phone systems of
major companies so you can get to a human immediately. His name is Paul English and he has a
website telling you how at paulenglish.com. He comments that 25 % of the time if you hit 0 you
get someone. Other times you have to hit 0# or 0*. There are a few others that you might need
some coaching on. At Nextel, for instance, you have to hit 0 five times after calling their
number. At Home Depot, when you are asked for your account number, keep hitting #. After
five or six times, a human appears!! Morgan Chase banks number requires entering 5 pause
14*0. Who woulda guessed? The web site posts many more of the magic digits.
The religious systems men have developed are like a companys phone tree. Press this, say
that, select this option, say that word, etc. If we stay on the phone long enough, maybe God will
connect with us. But maybe He wont. Perhaps we will feel the presence of His absence the
harder we try to do religion. Well just build a more elaborate religious system, some would
guess. Add a feast, create a ceremony, think up a new rule, require a punishmentanything to
find the magic digit so that God picks up on the other end. Over the ages intricate systems of
religious ritual and beliefs have been developed, tried and redeveloped. Doing God has been
made hard, real hard.
This brings me to Christmas. Christmas is God telling me the magic digit. Christmas is God
telling me how to talk to the living God. Jesus! The writer of Hebrews puts it this way. Going
through a long line of prophets, God has been addressing our ancestors in different ways for
centuries. Recently he spoke to us directly through his Son. (Heb 1:1-2) Jesus is God coming
close, touchable, vulnerable to my condition, sympathetic in response. As Peter Kreeft has
written, Jesus is the tears of God. He is God suffering with us, for us, and in an eternal sense,
instead of us.
My guess is that Paul English doesnt have God on his list of magic digits. He doesnt need
to. Jesus beat Him to it.

couple of Sundays ago I asked a simple question at the beginning of worship. If a car
doesnt run when you try to start it, is it broke? Most people thought so. I did , too. But
then I found out the truth.
My car wouldnt start. I went out in the morning to go to work, and it just ground away. My
mechanic had told me a few weeks before that a check engine light that had been coming on
indicated a new car computer might be needed. So I assumed that was it. But you know
computers sometimes they work and sometimes they dont. So I waited another day and tried
the car again. No starting, just grinding. Okay, Ill wait another day. Computers can cost
several hundred dollars, and I dont want to be too eager. But on the third day it was time.

16
Got it towed in. Next day I took the call from the mechanic. Mr. Bryant, the mechanic
rather sheepishly said, your car is not broke. Not broke? I asked. It wont run. Yes, he
responded, cars need gas to run. Mr. Bryant, you are out of gas.
My wife happened to be in the kitchen when I got the call. I muttered something to the
mechanic about shaming me in front of my wife.
It is often the case that we think we are broken. We grind away. No spark, no energy. Our
emotions get frayed, our words sharp, our manner brisk. We start worrying more than normal,
and soon we are in valley that is deeper than we had supposed. We fear that something has really
gone wrong. But in fact all that has happened is that we are out of gas. There is no power
because there is no presence presence of fuel, that is.
I wonder how many of the things you attribute to brokenness are really a matter of low fuel.
There are times when nothing is really wrong with us that more fuel wont cure. The Apostle
Paul writes in Romans 12:11, Don't burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert
servants of the Master
Its all about fuel, folks. Keep your eye on the gage and never go near empty. You dont want
to run out of fuel in dangerous places. Being on empty can lead to some pretty dire
consequences.

ell, once again country and western music people get it right!! In a PC world we need
some people to talk straight and not blink. People like Randy Travis.
He was on news the other night being interviewed about his views on Hurricane Katrina. I
am not sure how his views became known or were important enough for an interview, but there
he was talking about the judgement of God. He wasnt angry or critical but spiritual and
concerned. The news anchor (a real conservative, by the way) was absolutely incredulous that
anyone could believe anything so barbaric and primitive as to persuaded that a natural disaster
could be a divine intervention to force us to face our sin.
But to disbelieve this is to assert that there is no connection between our spirits and the
physical world, that souls have no relationship to matter. Materialists, who believe we have no
souls, believe there is no necessary connection. There is just a big is about this world, no
ought, no should, and no lessons. But we are not materialists. We are spiritualists, and
that means that our relationship with God gets worked into the world in which we live, for better
and for worse.
In Genesis when Adam and Eve sin, the ground is cursed. Later in the days of Noah God
sends a flood. Upon the nation of Israel God sent a famine, a plague of locusts and many more
catastrophes. The Apostle Paul writes that creation has been subjected to groanings because of a
world invaded by sin, ours. And Paul explicitly states that we are surrounded by signs of Gods
displeasure with sin. For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and
unrighteousness of men. And when Jesus comes at the end of the age to fully redeem us, then
creation itself will be made new, and the lion will lie down with the lamb. The power of nature
turned against us is a constant reminder that there is coming a day when Gods power will be
eternally turned against all who have refused love and service to Him and worshiped and served
the creature. Is this hard to understand? Is this hard to believe?
Jesus makes the same point when he is informed of a catastrophe - unless we repent we too
will perish. Its not about one group of sufferers being worse sinners than another group. Its
about us all being in the same boat. I am not too sure the church is very comfortable with the

17
way Jesus views the world. Maybe we are more amiable than God Himself. Maybe He
embarrasses us. Maybe we are more comfortable being the Red Cross than being the Church
when it comes to such things.
But the same Bible that says trouble in this life reflects our distance from and need for God
also teaches us that God waded right into our troubles in the person of His Son. Romans 8:3 puts
it this way. God went for the jugular when he sent his own Son. He didn't deal with the
problem as some-thing remote and unimportant. In his Son, Jesus, he personally took on the
human condition, entered the disordered mess of struggling humanity in order to set it right once
and for all.
Because we know the real story we go, we give, we serve. The church shows up when trouble
comes. We know that a day of greater trouble is yet coming and now is the chance to
demonstrate to others God loves them. While there is still time.

id you know that the trial of Slobadan Milosevic at the World Court is still going on four
years after it began? Should anything take that long to decide? Is anything that unclear?
Some people act as if with enough time they could convince anybody of anything. Slant the
story a little differently, take another angle, validate another excuse, locate another expert, quote
a different authority, find another psychological syndrome. We have all been there, havent we?
We try to tell the story better the next time to make our side more believable.
I have often wondered how long it will take to be judged by our God at the final judgment.
Will we even get a chance to explain? The Bible says that before Him on that day every knee
will bow and every mouth will be stopped. For those of us facile with the tongue, quick of wit
and bold in personality, maybe it will be the first time where there was no chance to grease the
slide. Maybe for the first time we are simply caught.
Have you ever been caught? How do you handle it? With a yes, but? Or a but you,
too? When was the last time you said to anyone or to God, guilty as charged?
We all will on that day when we appear before Him. In a moment the omniscience of God
and the wisdom of God will yield the truth. And there will be nothing left to say.
I have always been amazed at how quickly court trials are over once the verdict is reached.
The jury is polled and a sentencing date is announced, but thats it. Theres no opportunity for
the defendant to plead his cause, explain the bias of the jury, question the reliability of the
evidence. The judge doesnt talk about his feelings, the jury isnt asked how hard it was for them
to reach a decision, the lawyers arent polled about their reaction. The jury is thanked, the gavel
banged, and the defendant handed over to the jailer. It is over. Just over.
I will appear before God, as surely as I type these words. And it wont take God four years to
think and consider. In an instant the truth will be known and said. I think I will be stunned by
how quickly it all happens. My head will be swimming. And I wont be able to get a word in
edgewise. I dont think I will want to because I know that He cant be fooled or fooled with.
I think I should start practicing the word guilty now. Oh, yes! There is one final phrase. I
throw myself upon the mercy of the court. Ive heard God can save in an instant, too.

18

e often talk about having splitting headaches. Where do headaches come from?
There are many reasons for them. But one of them is a thought that is bigger than our
brain. Just try to wrap your head around some thoughts and your brain will begin to
hurt. Literally! This isnt just a manner of speaking. Ive learned there are some thoughts I
should avoid if I dont want to go hunting for the bottle of aspirin I know I have in my office but
can never find when I need it. There are thoughts that come into my head that intimidate me,
frighten me, confuse me and tell me that I am in over my head with no possibility to figure a
way out. They threaten me with their bigness and my smallness.
GK Chesterton reminds us that to attempt to understand everything is a strain one can hardly
bear, while to accept what happens is merely an exercise of the disciplined will and of the
deepened faith. We all are capable of the latter. None of us are capable of the former. We
cannot understand everything, but we can accept it and believe nothing happens apart from the
goodness of God.
Acceptance is the difference between the poet and the mathematician. The poet merely looks
at the work of heaven and is exalted by the view. The logician seeks to exhaustively answer all
questions. The poet seeks only to get his head into heaven and take a peek. The rationalist seeks
to get heaven into his head. And it is his head that splits.
Maybe that is why so much of the Bible is in poetry, by the way. Poetry is not about knowing
with the head but feeling the truth with the heart. Poetry is not about exhaustively knowing but
following the scent of truth that will take us home. Poetry is about being surrounded by pointers
toward home every tear, every disappointment, every regret, every stupid mistake once
accepted becomes not a riddle to figure out but a tool for God to use. I dont know how. I do
know it is because of Christ and His love for me. I know it is because of His death upon the
cross and victory over death by His resurrection. But I dont know how. But because of Christ I
can accept. And that is one less headache!!

m not a Pentecostal/Charismatic. I dont brag about it. Maybe its the opposite. Theres
too much self-reserve in me, too much that is skeptical and distant. The church needs people
like me, too, but not too many. Wed tip over.
But if I ever were a Pentecostal, Id be a Jack Hayford type of Pentecostal. He is the gold
standard! Ive never seen him use his enthusiasm to squash more timid types. The humility that
oozes from him creates environments that promote simplicity, genuiness, love, and a sheer desire
to be a vessel of God. I love God more when I am around that man, if only through his books
and tapes.
He wrote an article recently I wanted to write, but he beat me to it. No, let me change that.
He wrote an article I wanted to write but didnt have the courage to write. It is entitled Why I
Dont Set Goals. (Yes, I heard you management types gasp).
Though Jack is no longer a pastor but in retirement pursuing a wider ministry to churches, he
was the pastor of a megachurch of some thousands that happened to get big without a vision
for being big. He confesses that he knew all the management quotes Aim at nothing, and
youll hit it, No vision, no victories, Plan your work, then work your plan. And he knew
that on some level this wisdom yielded a certain reward. But it was merely the reward that
comes through skill, work, and human talent. And that is where the rub was, as he saw it. It was
natural. Measurable, doable, but natural. Where did God go?

19
He decided that his guiding principles would be (1) finding direction through prayer and
(2)watching the fruit of obedience as people grew. His aspiration was not big programs but big
people. Produce big people and then see what God would do.
The church is about Christ-followers living out meaningful discipleship together learning
how to be faithful in our commitments, becoming stronger in the routines of life, lifting up the
weak, training and loving our children, building lives around worship and the timeless wisdom of
the Bible, glorifying God by enjoying Him and losing our taste for the passing pleasures of the
world, serving lost people through deeds of mercy and through the message of the Gospel,
welcoming our newborns into Gods plan, shepherding our youth into values that endure,
founding homes upon the sure Word of God, yoking our lives together to face the hurricane
forces that threaten to swamp us, and then when death comes committing those who have run the
race to the care of the Almighty Father. And doing all of this together.
This is all I ever wanted to do. Just to be with you and live out our faith and our mission.
I know I am judged by certain practical standards (how big is your church?, how many
baptisms this last year?, how good is your music?, is your budget growing?, do you have
the latest video projection and sound equipment?, etc.) Fair questions. Need to be faced. But
sometimes that feels like asking of my blood family how big is your house?, how much
money do the parents bring in?, do you have a large screen tv?, and so on. Yes, some of those
things would be good. But they dont begin to touch what it means to be the Bryants. We dont
live together on the basis of goals. The goal is to be together and bring out the best in one
another as we do life.
And that is what Hayford is saying in his way. Church is being together, saying yes to God
together, and letting God lead.

ometimes I dont know whats on my mind. I have been told that my sermons prove it. Yes,
they say it nicely, but thats what they mean.
Oh, I have lots of things to think about schedules, responsibilities, emergencies, get this
done, go there, keep the list on the refrigerator from growing larger, shrink it if you can (By
the way, how did that list get up there on the refrigerator? Sure isnt my handwriting!!! And I
dont think our dog Sandy has taken penmanship yet.)
Thinking about things I have to think about can keep me from things something in me (or
Someone in me) wants to think about. These are the things that begin to pop up when those
moments come along that allow me to breathe. And often they are big thoughts, so big that I get
scared of them. Things like: is this what I wanted to be when I grew up? Am I grown up?
When will I ever grow up? Whats really worth it in life? What would happen if I ever gave
God all of me? Why am I scared of that? What would I do if I knew I couldnt fail at it? What
am I good at that I dont really like doing? What would I like to be good at and would pay a
really big price to do? Why am I still thinking about things over and done for twenty years?
How do I want to finish the race, my life?
If you stop long enough some of these questions and others start pushing up. If you are quiet
enough, the soul will speak. It will tell you what is on your mind. Mortimer Adler writes, You
have to allow a certain amount of time in which you are doing nothing in order to have things
occur to you, to let your mind think." And they will.
So there is a difference between asking what am I thinking about and whats on my mind. But
I dont think Jesus lived with this difference. What was on his mind is what he was thinking

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about all the time. He was a whole being, unified, no part at war with another part. There was
nothing he was pushing down, avoiding, scared of facing. He was always and wholly simply
himself. Thats why I like spending time with him. WYSIWYG what you see is what you get.
My meat and my drink is to do the Fathers will, he said. Nothing up his sleeve. No exhausted
spirit beneath a painted on exterior. He lived from the inside out. His spirit rose to surface level.
You could touch his insides by being around his outsides. Transparent, but deep.
So the next time you ask me whats on my mind, I might give you a blank stare and then walk
off mumbling something or other to myself about not having a clue. Or I might breezily and too
easily talk about schedules, responsibilities, pressures, impossible challenges. Or perhaps it
could be one of those rare moments when my soul rises up to reveal itself and you get the real
me. Im not always sure which Don Bryant will show up.

he way I figured it, Jon, my son, wouldnt have any friends left. Not if he was going to do
what he was planning to do.
What could be so horrible that even friends would turn off cell phones and delete voice mail
service for a while? What could be so serious that even college students would take a new
interest in their sick uncle who they have only seen once in their lives but who desperately
needed a visit? One simple word says it all MOVE. Yes, it was time to move.
Not just any move, mind you. This was the King Kong of moves. Down two flights of stairs,
no elevator. Then pack it in a van for hauling to a building clear on the other side of campus.
Then up four flights of stairs, no elevator. Can you say 32 inch TV? And I dont mean plasma,
light weight TV!! Sharons last words as I left home had something to do with heart attack and
life insurance.
Not just any friendship would endure this one. No need to make your friends make a
choice, Jon, I said. You havent been there long enough to have this kind of a friend.
(Remember the Seinfeld episode on moving? You dont ask just anybody or help anybody).
So dont ask. We two will get it done. And we did. As we walked on campus and different
students would say hi and chat for a bit, laughing, checking in, and parting with a see you in
lab benediction, they didnt know that I had spared them from making a decision about how
much they really liked Jon. I had given them room to not have to decide now.
I began to think about the lesson for us all. We need wisdom to make distinctions in our
relationships. It is easy to throw out a net and see who responds to our need. And then we can
criticize those who did not respond. But there is a better way. It begins with understanding that
there are different levels of friendship. We need to give people the freedom to move closer as
they get to know us and believe in us and not have to do that too fast. And we need to give
others the freedom to draw more exacting boundaries. People who do well in relationships do
not demand all or nothing, and they demonstrate some understanding of the demands that
friendship brings. They do not force what isnt there. They allow room for what could be there
but isnt yet. And they manage these relationships with careful insight.
It was after three years with his disciples that Jesus said the word, friends, to them. (John
15:15). He didnt use that word casually or too soon. Even our Lord took the time to weigh, to
sift, to see. And when the heavy stuff was ready to begin, as Jesus was moving, moving toward
the cross, he wanted them to go through it with him. Now I call you friends. And even though
he knew they would stumble, he still knew enough to know that they were in this together.
Jesus, my prayer is, weak though I am, when the heavy lifting time comes, call me friend.

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emember when Hurricane Katrina was just a tropical depression far away off the horn of
Africa? It is hard to think of Katrina it in those terms now. The last four days are the
moments youll remember. The news outlets are using descriptions like: catastrophe,
category 5, most expensive hurricane in US history, deadly, killer, etc. So much damage has
been done that it will take weeks to mount up the toll. And it will take years to erase the disaster.
No hurricane started out as a hurricane. It started out as just enough turmoil for a decent surf
board ride. A little exciting, a bit titillating, a thrill. Maybe a bit rough for some, but basically
harmless. If you cant take it, stay out of the water. But hurricanes have a life of their own, and
they will eventually come after those who never ventured near, had no interest in riding the
waves and wanted to just go about their own lives.
Actually the word hurricane comes from the name of a storm god, hurican, so called by
Caribbean Amerindians. And a hurricane is a god of some sort, meaning bigger than the power
of man with its own ways and rules. No man can stop it. He can only weather it, and maybe not
even that. Hurricanes always have death tolls.
Meteorologists tell us that hurricanes are heat engines. They need warm water whose vapors
are swept up to higher altitudes to condense. The heat is then turned to the destructive work of
the hurricane. Without heat there is no hurricane. They dont come out of nowhere. There must
be a source.
There are lessons here for us all. We have all been in relational hurricanes, and there are
similar patterns. One, all hurricanes start small. They never look big, dangerous or hurtful at
first. In fact, they can be inviting just enough disturbance to provide some thrills. Get it off
the chest, diminish someone to gain control, get in good with someone else who is a critic, too.
Play along. But remember what John Owen has said. Sin always aims at the utmost every time
it rises up to tempt or entice; might it have its own course, it would go out to the utmost sin in
that kind.
Two, hurricanes are gods. They have powers beyond us, greater than us. Men cannot tame
them, manage them, diminish them. They can only weather them once they form. And pray that
the body count does not get too high! And relational hurricanes do the same. You cant put the
wind and storm back in the bottle. It will run its course. Hold on!! Getting us through is
something only the God can do.
Three, dont provide the source of heat. Manage your spirit so that you live in peace with
your God. Walk in the Spirit, giving thanksgiving to God. Make no provision for the flesh. And
potential hurricanes get starved.
You dont get to read about the relational hurricanes that could have happened but did not.
Someone held his tongue, kept his opinion to himself, and chose to love and serve the unlovely
and the unworthy. But some hurricanes do happen and go down in history. Someday may God
give us a blissful forgetfulness.

m in one of those if I had to do it all over again moods. No, I am not filled with self-hate
and self-loathing. Ive already done that. And its not about woulda, shoulda, coulda. Its
more about nodding my head in agreement with something I ignored in the Bible. And
recognizing that not a jot or title will pass away from Gods Word.

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Its there in Genesis 1:5. God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And
there was evening and there was morning, the first day. Did you get that? Evening and
morning make up the first day. Not morning and evening, the usual arrangement. In Hebrew
thought the day begins with the night before the light. Big deal? Very big deal!
How do I begin my day? I think I always begin my day behind. My morning begins with the
demands of the day settling upon me, often leaving me feeling tired before I begin and behind
before I work. I begin my day getting busy about what I have to do.
But the Old Testament believers began their day by going to sleep because their day began at
night. Their response to the demands of life was first to say, lets get a little rest first. (I am
always saying, lets get a little rest later.) The Hebrews werent lazier than most people. Its
just that they believed more than most people. Believed what?
They believed that true living begins with handing things over to God. Thats what sleep is,
checking out for a bit while God runs the universe. (Dont worry, God works the nightshift).
Every once in a while He needs me to get out of the way. And sure enough when I wake up the
sun is coming up, the radio still comes on, the shower has hot water, the coffee pot still makes
coffee, and Sandy the cocker spaniel still is ready for the same breakfast she has had for nine
years. In other words, my day starts with waking up to what God has done and what I will soon
join Him in rather than waking up to what I have to do for God. There is all the difference in the
world between those two mindsets.
If I do it Gods way, my day begins with rest. If I do it my way, my day ends with exhaustion
and begins with too little sleep. If I do it Gods way, the first task of the day is to go to sleep. If
I do it my way, the first task of the day is to worry about how far behind I am.
Sometimes I wonder if we have too many things at night. No, I dont wonder. We do! We
push one more thing into the night hour that has to be done when in fact we should be busy about
giving things back to Him while we get in our pjs, turn off the light and let cool evening breezes
flow through the room. Sleep is not a reward for those who work. It is a requirement for those
who believe there is a powerful God of love.
So dont worry. Go to bed!!
And just when you thought it couldnt get worse!!!! The papers ran a story on Carl Mize
who got struck by lightning four different times. And more amazingly is still alive.
The odds of getting struck by lightning at all are one in 700,000. The odds for four strikes
are unimaginable. Most recently Mize was hit the fourth time while using a backhoe to dig up a
broken water line. The first time he was grabbing the handle of his pickup just when lighting
struck it. In incident number two, Mize was leaning on a swing set that got hit. Incident number
three happened when lightning split a tree that fell into a street light pole, loosening a cable that
swung around to where Mize was standing.
Now those who work with him want hazardous pay. You probably would, too.
Here is the really amazing part of the story. Ready? The paper reports, Mize is heading
back to work later Monday morning. That is more surprising than the strikes. There comes a
point when we all expect a person to just give up. The real miracle is that God has put into each
of a capacity to keep on keeping on.
When people share with me what they have been through, I will sometimes respond,
Youve got to be kidding. I know they arent. But the things people go through, and the
number of things they go through, can stun me. And theyre still standing. And some are doing
more than standing; they are moving forward.

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How does this happen? You can get some idea if you understand the difference between
being a conductor and being a resistor. As John Ortberg tells it, the difference between being a
conductor and a resistor is that a conductor is willing to let go. Floating around the periphery of
its atoms are electrons that can quite easily pass from one atom to another. So a conductor has
what might be called a generosity of spirit when it comes to electrons. A resistor, by contrast,
does not want to let go. It hangs onto its little electrons. It clings to the status quo. It is afraid to
let go because it wants to keep its little possessions intact. And so it does. But the resistor never
knows much power. The secret of the conductor is that it is not generating its own power. It is
not particularly strong or clever; it is simply a conduit. The resistors prayer is, Leave me
alone. The conductors prayer is, As you wish. Each prayer gets answered.
When some people get struck by lightning (the troubles of life), they simply decide to be
conductors. And what will destroy others becomes a moment of flowing power for them. They
are not the impressive, tell-it-out-loud type! They know they hold the treasure of Gods presence
in ordinary clay pots (as the Apostle Paul puts it). They just believe their lives belong to God and
all things are meant for good to those who love Him.

hats the best way to remember something that shouldnt be forgotten? Easy answer!! Be
around other people who dont forget.
Thats how Wednesday trash pick up works for me. (Yeh, I know this is a church newsletter,
but hang in there with me for a few paragraphs). I simply walk out of the house to get into my
car to drive to the Ministry Center, and there, all lined up, are all the neighbors garbage cans. So
I just walk behind the house and drag mine out, too. I dont write it on my calendar, pin notes to
clothes, leave memos taped to doors. I dont berate myself for forgetting. The neighbors remind
me. (And when I come home and all the cans are gone, I remember to take mine back where
they came from, too).
Sorry for the analogy, but church is like trash day. I walk into the fellowship of brothers and
sisters, and I start remembering all the things for which I was created and about which I should
be alert and ready for action. Left to myself a lot these things escape me. (Who can remember
everything? Actually, I dont think any Christian can do that much remembering on his own).
Its amazing how much and how quickly I can forget about Christ-following. No, I dont think I
actually forget I am to be following Christ. I just get vague on what that means, how it is
practiced and areas where I need to be especially careful. I also get used to my own standards,
which can be shown to be pitifully weak when I am around others who are moving on with
Christ.
Thats why Christ gave us the church where there is an abundance of gifts and experiences.
Its seems like every time I am around you and hear you share and speak of Christ and spiritual
things, I end up making a note about something important for me to remember. Thanks for
sharing and including me. I would be much farther behind without you.