SELF DISCOVERY WORKSHOPS: SEMESTER 2

TABLE OF CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION

SESSION 1: JOHARI WINDOW

SESSION 2: APPRECIATIVE INQUIRY

SESSION 3: DIALOGIC LISTENING

12

SESSION 4: RED FLAGS

21

SESSION 5: ISSUES BRAINSTORM

24

SESSION 6: BECAUSE I AM A MAN/ WOMAN

27

SESSION 7: WHAT KIND OF TEAM MEMBER AM I?

31

SESSION 8: WALKING THE LEADERSHIP TALK

33

SESSION 9: LEADERSHIP ENVELOPES

36

SESSION 10: REVISITING THE JOHARI WINDOW

39

INTRODUCTION
In the first semester, fellows have been immersed in several intensive processes, including
field support, village immersion, classroom training, etc. They have also been living in teams
and have started working through various differences and conflicts that arise. For many
fellows, these months have also been months of intense churning as they live away from their
homes and friends for the first time, or as they find themselves expected to explain their life
choices to friends and family members.
The second semesters Self-Discovery workshops seek to create a moment of pause and self
reflection -- a space for fellows to look more closely at themselves and their experiences,
think about the issues they are passionate about, and evaluate themselves on the leadership
skills they already possess or wish to develop. At the same time, the workshops focus on the
block teams as a space for collective reflection and growth; in the process of self-disclosure
and group feedback, as well as in creating shared agreements for their relationships to one
another, fellow teams are expected to deepen their relationships and build their capacity to
support one anothers growth. Finally, the sessions aim not only to create reflective spaces
but also to help fellows build skills such as Appreciative Inquiry, Dialogic Listening, which
will prove crucial to the harmonious functioning of fellow teams, and later to fellows
capacity to lead social change processes in the world.
None of the sessions here require a PL or external resource person to facilitate the session.
However, it is highly recommended that a program leader be around to support some of the
sessions, particularly Session 6, which might bring up uncomfortable feelings for some
participants. It has also been recommended that sessions 5 and 6 take place in a larger group,
combining 2 or more blocks, because they are much more effective with more participants.
The program leaders and FC would need to plan for the same wherever it is possible.
For each session, the LC Executive is encouraged to read the design a week beforehand and
clarify any questions with the block PL or the location FC. The presence of block PLs is not
required for these sessions; however, the PL may choose to sit in on sessions (as a participant
rather than as a facilitator) in order to understand the fellows journeys and be able to
participate in a similar journey along with them. In either case, the PL should follow up with
the LC executive and the fellows afterward so as to address any lingering questions or
emotions that the session might bring up for fellows in subsequent days and weeks.

SESSION 1: JOHARI WINDOW

Introduction
In this first session of the Self-Discovery curriculum, participants use the Johari Window to
better understand their relationships with themselves and others. The Johari window is a
disclosure/feedback model of self-awareness and relationship building that will not only
push participants to beginning a process of self-discovery and identifying their strengths,
feelings, motivations, etc., but will also lead to a dialogue about the the role of sharing
information and receiving feedback in building deeper relationships. It therefore forms an
important base for the self-discovery curriculum to follow.
The Johari Window, named for its inventors, Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham, is one of the
most useful models for describing the creation of trust in human interaction. A four-paned
window divides personal awareness into four types: open, hidden, blind and unknown. The
lines dividing these four panes are like window shades they can move as an interaction
progresses. We build trust by opening our personal shades to others so that we become an
open window (Adapted from Of Human Interaction, by Joseph Luft. Mayfield Publishing
Company, 1969.)
Objectives
To encourage participants to begin a process of self-discovery and identify their strengths,
feelings, motivations, etc.
To build trust based on a disclosure-feedback model of self-awareness
To begin a dialogue about the the role of sharing information and receiving feedback in
building deeper relationships.
Resources
Handout 1
Pen and paper for all participants
Facilitation
Can be facilitated by the LC executive
Time: 1 1/2 - 2 hours
Activity
Part 1
Each Participant is given Handout 1 and told that the window represents different aspects of
the self, some of which are known to everyone and some of which are completely hidden.
Participants are asked to fill out the windows open and hidden with as much information
as they can put down. They are informed that they will not be required to share this handout
with anyone and should feel free to put down confidential information, particularly in the
hidden section. This part of the exercise should take about 10 minutes.

1.

Open: Things we know about ourselves and others in the group know about us. This
is the information about the person -- behavior, attitude, feelings, emotion,
knowledge, experience, skills, views, etc. -- known by the person ('the self') and
known by the group ('others'). Participants should put down everything they can think
of about themselves that the group knows, from their favorite food or TV show to an
important dream or skill.

2.

Hidden: The Hidden Johari region represents what is known to ourselves but kept
hidden from, and therefore unknown to, others. This hidden or avoided self represents
information, feelings, or anything else that a person knows about him/herself, but
which is not revealed or is kept hidden from others. The hidden area could also
include sensitivities, fears, hidden agendas, secrets -- anything that a person knows
but does not reveal, for whatever reason. As participants fill out this information,
remind them that the handout is confidential and that they will not be required to
show their sheets of paper to anyone.

After participants have filled out these two areas, facilitator shares that the aim in any group
should always be to develop the 'open area' for every person, because when we work in this
area with others we are at our most effective and productive, and the group is at its most
productive too. By telling others how we feel and other information about ourselves we
reduce the hidden area, and increase the open area, which enables better understanding,
cooperation, trust, team-working effectiveness and productivity. Reducing hidden areas also
reduces the potential for confusion, misunderstanding, poor communication, etc, which all
distract from and undermine team effectiveness. Further, by opening our hidden areas to
others, we invite them into our lives and build trust.
Participants are asked to look at their hidden quadrant and choose one thing they are
willing to share with the group. The extent to which an individual discloses personal feelings
and information, and the issues which are disclosed, and to whom, must always be at the
individual's own discretion. If some participants are hesitant to share deeply personal
information, they should simply be asked What is one thing about you that we dont yet
know but that would make our group work better for you?. The answer could be as simple as
I like having an hour of time to myself in the mornings before we go to school or I have a
hard time being open with others and would prefer not to be pushed too hard. This should
take about 15 minutes.
Part 2
Participants are then introduced to the second half of the quadrant -- the things that we do not
know about ourselves. The Blind quadrant is for information about a person that is known
to others in the group, but is unknown to the person him/herself. This blind area is not an
effective or productive space for individuals or groups.
The Unknown quadrant represents things that neither the individual nor the group knows (it
might represent things like an ability that is underestimated or untried through lack of

opportunity, encouragement, confidence or training; a natural ability or aptitude that a person

doesn't realise they possess; a fear or aversion that a person does not know they have).
At the start of this activity, participants have no way of knowing the difference between what
goes into each of these areas. They should therefore be asked to make a list of a few
questions they have about themselves that they think the group might be able to offer some
insight on. For example, Am I able to lead discussions effectively? or What do you think
my greatest strengths as a team member are? or what seems to be a natural aptitude that I
dont realize I have?). Once each participant has made a list of 3-5 questions, they take turns
asking the group these questions and noting down the answers. This can take about 30
minutes.
Once everyone in the group has had their questions answered by the group, they put new
learnings about themselves into the Blind category. If some questions remain unanswered,
they are noted in the Unknown category. This should only take a few minutes.
Final Reflection
Participants close the activity by sharing one new thing they learned about themselves in the
process of the activity and one Unknown that they want to answer. The group can
brainstorm collectively about how the participant might find an answer to that Unknown (for
instance, if the Fellow has a question about her ability to lead discussions effectively, she can
propose to lead some group processes over the next few weeks and solicit feedback about
how well they went). Once participants are able to feel like they believe a new learning about
themselves, whether it was something they were told by the group or discovered in the
process of trying out a new activity, they may move it into the open quadrant.
This debrief can take 30-60 minutes
Notes to the Facilitator
The most important thing for the facilitator to keep in mind for this activity is that different
people will have different levels of comfort in sharing, and this must be respected. We are all
coming from different spaces and conditioning, and if we push someone to share before he or
she is ready to, they might shut down on the process altogether. This dynamic must be borne
in mind because, the more sensitive and respectful the facilitation of this session, the more
likely a fellow is to embrace the entire self-discovery curriculum.
The activity must never become a judgment on how much people chose to share, nor should
anyone feel the need to compete with others about how big their open areas are. Rather,
participants should be asked to focus on their own quadrants and try to see how they can
enlarge their open quadrant without putting themselves at more risk than they are
immediately comfortable with.

HANDOUT: JOHARI WINDOW TEMPLATE

SESSION 2: APPRECIATIVE INQUIRY

Introduction
The purpose of appreciative inquiry is to see what is working and focus on strengthening that.
It has been widely used in various contexts for complex problem solving. Here, one can use it
for boosting team morale or for team building. This activity also sets the tone of the SelfDiscovery workshops, and the LC executive can come back to the theme of growing through
appreciation of strengths rather than criticism of weaknesses throughout the semester.
Objective
Understand and appreciate your team strengths
Material
Handout on Appreciative Inquiry for participants to read before the session.
Paper with appreciative inquiry questions or themes and pens for each participant.
Total time required: 2 hours
Individual writing: 15 minutes
Group sharing: 30 minutes
Start-Stop-Continue chart: 30 minutes
Planning: 30 minutes
Debrief: 15 minutes
Mode of facilitation
These can be peer facilitated or self facilitated
Executing the activity
All participants read the Appreciative Inquiry handout before the workshop begins. The
facilitator then explains that the purpose of this activity is to appreciate your team strengths
better. There is a deliberate focus on what works for you and your team rather than what does
not.
Each team member is asked to first individually respond to the following questions in
writing. This will take about 10-15 minutes.
Describe a time in your team that you consider a high point experience, a time when you
were most engaged and felt alive and vibrant
Without being modest, tell me what you most value about yourself, your work, and your
team
What are the core factors that give life to your team when it is at its best?
Imagine your team one year from now, when everything is just as you always wished it
could be. What is different? How have you contributed to this dream team?
Each group member shares her or his answers with the group, and at this point, everyone is
asked simply to listen and understand one anothers experiences rather than commenting
upon them. This can take up to 45 minutes.

Next, the team collectively makes a best practices chart based on what each person shared
about how the team was able to achieve its goals and work at its best. The chart seeks to
document behaviors that the group feels has most enabled its success in the past.
This chart should later be displayed prominently in a location where team members are likely
to see it on a regular basis and check in with themselves about the extent to which the group
is following through on these behaviors.
The team then looks at the chart and designs ways of working together to actualize those
behaviors and continue building on team strengths or starting something new that is desired
by the group. For example, if the team has listed Continue being open with each other as
one of their processes, they might decide to create a buddy system where fellows check in on
each other regularly outside of large group spaces. Another team might decide to meet every
Friday to discuss where they are in terms of HM workshops or goals that they need to achieve
by end of the month.
Debrief and Homework
Fellows can have a short discussion around the following questions:
What is the one unexpected/surprising aspect of your group that you learnt through this
activity?
What was the one surprising aspect of yourself that you learnt?
Later, fellows can be asked to follow up on the activity by examining who was the most
proactive in taking forward the decisions they came to as a group, or by revisiting their chart
at various points in the semester.

HANDOUT 2: Appreciative Inquiry: A Positive Revolution in Change

By David Cooperrider and Diana Whitney
These are like Spark Notes that give a quick review of the highlights of this book. We
recommend that you read the entire book for much more in-depth knowledge.
Appreciative Inquiry (AI) starts with strengths andresults in dramatic improvements in the
triple bottom line: people, profits, and planet. It can significantly enhance employee
engagement, retention, and morale, customer satisfaction, cost competitiveness, revenues,
and profits, as well as businesses understanding and abilities to meet the needs of
society. (viii) Nutrimental Foods had a 200 percent increase in revenues; Hunter Douglas
had $3.5 million in savings; there were other amazing results. (viii)
Companies too often look at what is going wrong, rather than into extraordinary moments of
high engagement, commitment, and passionate achievement. (2) We should look at retention
and magnetic work environments times when people feel connected to their work and
colleagues.
We have a deficit-based approach to change. We say that change begins with the
identification of the most pressing problems, their gaps, and root causes. (3) This book
proposes that we have reached the end of problem-solving as a way of inspiring, mobilizing,
and sustaining human system change. (3) What would happen if we began all of our work
with the positive presumption that organizations are alive with infinite constructive
capacity? (3)
At GTE, they had a wholesale transformation of the corporate culture, engaging the positive
potential of the company. The company wanted to recognize and invite the expression of
strengths, initiatives, and capabilities. They wanted a narrative-rich culture with a ratio of 5
positive stories of success and high performance for every negative one. (4) AI transforms a
culture that seeks out problems and tries to solve them. Instead this is about focusing on
positive stories of strength! Dont talk about what is not working, how hard it is to overcome,
and who is to blame. Talk about hopes and dreams. Seek out engagement, commitment, and
enthusiasm, with open communication, human potential, and a true learning
organization. (6)
Lets look at the definitions of the two key words in this phrase:
Appreciate Valuing; the act of recognizing the best in people or the world around us;
affirming past and present strengths, successes, and potentials; to perceive those things that
give life (health, vitality, excellence) to living systems; to increase in value (like the
economy); to prize, esteem, and honor
Inquiry: The act of exploration and discovery; to ask questions; to be open to seeking new
potentials and possibilities. (7)

AI is the search for the best in people, their organizations, and the world around them. It
involves systematic discovery of what gives life to an organization, community, when it is
most effective and capable in economic, ecological, and human terms. In AI, intervention
gives way to inquiry, imagination, and innovation. Instead of negation, criticism, and
spiraling diagnosis, there is discovery, dream, and design. AI involves the art and practice of
asking unconditionally positive questions that strengthen a systems positive capacity to
apprehend, anticipate, and heighten positive potential. Through mass mobilized inquiry,
hundreds and even thousands of people can be involved in co-creating their collective future.
AI assumes that every organization and community has many untapped and rich accounts of
the positive what people talk about as past, present, and future capacities, or the positive
core.
We often ignore the positive core of organizations. Yet one thing is clear: Human systems
grow in the direction of what they persistently ask questions about. (9)
When you inquire into the positive core of the organization, an organization enhances its
collective wisdom, builds energy and resiliency to change, and extends its capacity to achieve
extraordinary results. (10) You can map the positive core in workshops! Instead of problem
analysis, you do positive core analysis. This is at the heart of positive change.
Problem-solving approaches are slow, painful, backward looking, and poor at resulting in
new vision; instead they generate defensiveness. In AI, we look at the root cause of success.
You look at what works well when the organization is at its best.
At the heart of AI is the appreciative interview, a one-on-one dialogue among organization
members and stakeholders using questions related to high point experiences, valuing, and
what gives life to the organization at its best. (14) Questions include:
Describe a time in your organization when you consider a high point experience, a
time when you were most engaged and felt alive and vibrant
Without being modest, tell me what you most value about yourself, your work, and
your organization
What are the core factors that give life to your organization when it is at its best?
Imagine your organization 10 years from now, when everything is just as you
always wished it could be. What is different? How have you contributed to this dream
organization?
The appreciative inquiry 4-D cycle:
AI is a narrative-based process of positive change. It is a cycle of activity that starts by
engaging all members of an organization or community in a broad set of interviews and deep
dialogue about strengths, resources, and capabilities. It then moves people through a series of
activities focusing in envisioning bold possibilities and lifting up the most life-centric dreams
for the future. From there, it asks people to discuss and craft propositions that will guide their
future together. And finally, it involves the formation of teams to carry out the work needed to
realize the new dreams and the designs for the future. (15)

There are 4 key phases:

1. Discovery Mobilizing the whole system by engaging all stakeholders in the articulation
of strengths and best practices. Identifying the best of what has been and what is.
2.
Dream Creating a clear results-oriented vision in relation to discovered potential
and in relation to questions of higher purpose, such as What is the world calling us to
become?
3.
Design Creating possibility propositions to the ideal organization, articulating an
organization design that people feel is capable of drawing upon and magnifying the positive
core to realize the newly expressed dream.
4.
Destiny Strengthening the affirmative capability of the whole system, enabling it to
build hope and sustain momentum for ongoing positive change and high performance. (16)
At the heart of this process is affirmative topic choice this is the starting point and most
strategic aspect of any AI process. (17) To select affirmative topics, you involve a crosssection of people in the organization; it grows out of preliminary interviews into the
organization at its best; and it challenges people to reframe deficit issues into affirmative
topics for inquiry. (17)
Organizations move in the direction that they study. If you focus on the negative, you will
move in that direction! If you focus on the positive, you will move towards that! Dont focus
on what you want less of; focus on what you want more of. Affirmative topics should be
about anything that gives life. Systems move in the direction of the deepest and most frequent
inquiries.
DISCOVERY - At the heart of discovery is the appreciative interview. (25) Everyone should
be interviewed in a fundamentally affirmative way. Every question is positive. We uncover
what makes the organization at its best. They analyze their positive core, and the roots of
their success.
DREAM - Our imaginations grow not from searching for what is wrong, but by being
inspired by what is worth valuing. We want to move beyond the status quo to envision the
ideal future that we would value. We ask people to lift their sights and exercise their
imaginations and discuss what their organization could look like if it were fully aligned
around its strengths and aspirations. (27) Here is where we put the interview stories to
constructive use. (27)
DESIGN After the strategic focus, we look at how we can create the ideal organization.
Images of the future come out of grounded examples from the positive past of the
organization. We take the best of what is, and build a bridge to the possibility of what might
be.
DESTINY This is where we act.

SESSION 3: DIALOGIC LISTENING

Introduction
Its hard to say when we became a society of poor listeners. But somewhere between our
many everyday distractions, technological and otherwise, and the pressure to get ahead by
making ourselves heard, we as a society have lost touch with this basic human skill. In the
process, we have not only hurt the quality of our relationships to others, we have also hurt
ourselves.
Fortunately, listening is a skill that can be learned and practiced, a muscle that can be
developed. This workshop aims to introduce you to dialogic listening, which moves beyond
passively hearing someone, and even beyond the techniques that have come to be known as
active listening.
Objectives
To introduce fellows to the concepts of active and dialogic listening
To enable fellows to practise dialogic listening in a safe space
To create space for feedback around ones listening strengths and weaknesses
Resources
Copies of the Handout on Dialogic Listening for each fellow, to be distributed beforehand
Prior Preparation
All fellows must read the Dialogic Listening handout before coming to the session and also
bring their copies along for reference
Facilitation
Can be facilitated by the LC Executive
Time:
1 1/2 - 2 1/2 hours depending on number of participants
Activity
LC Executive begins by summarizing Dialogic Listening based on the handout that everyone
has read. Take no more than 10 minutes to do this.
If there are 6 or more fellows, they break up into groups of 3-4. If there are 5 or fewer, the
whole group can do this activity together. In each group, one person takes on the role of
Speaker and one of Listener. The others are scribes who will simply observe and take notes.
The Speaker is asked to pick a situation from the last few weeks that he or she would like to
discuss more deeply than had been possible so far. This can be a situation from work or from
personal life; the only requirement is a willingness on the part of the Speaker to examine and
understand this situation more deeply through a conversation with the Listener.

Over the next ten minutes, the Speaker tells the Listener about the situation, and the Listener
attempts to apply the principles and practices of Dialogic Listening in order to deepen the
conversation. The Scribes take notes on the interaction, noting places where the Listener is
able to embody a particular aspect of Dialogic Listening as well as places where the Listeners
could improve this skill.
Note: If a particular fellow cannot come up with any situation, they can chose the following
prompt: Think about a day over the past month when you felt frustrated or otherwise unable
to fulfill your work objectives at school. Start by telling the Listener what happened.
At the end of ten minutes, the conversation is stopped, and the Speaker begins by telling the
Listener what she or he most appreciated about the conversation. The Speaker then mentions
one area where the Listener could improve their practice of Dialogic Listening.
Next, the scribes offer feedback to the Listeners, again starting from what the Listener is
already doing well and then offering suggestions for an area of improvement. Throughout,
Listeners are asked only to take in the feedback, without responding to it. Together, this
should take an additional 10 minutes.
Roles are then switched, with different people taking on the roles of Speaker and Listener,
and the rest are scribes. The process is repeated until each person has had a chance to play
both roles and has given and received feedback on their listening. Each pair gets a total of 20
minutes, 10 for the conversation and 10 for feedback.
Participants are then given 15 minutes to write down their personal responses to the following
questions:
What did you learn about yourself as a listener today?
Which aspect of dialogic listening is easiest for you to practice? Why?
Which aspect of dialogic listening is hardest for you to practice? Why?
Based on your learning today and on the feedback you have received, what are three
concrete steps you can take to become a better dialogic listener?
The group then debriefs around the following questions:
What concrete steps can each of us take to become a better dialogic listener?
What practices or policies can we agree upon as a group to create an atmosphere of better
dialogic listening?
Note to the Facilitator
The most important point for this activitys success is that the feedback should be based on
the Dialogic Listening handout rather than on a fellows personal views about the Listener. If
the feedback veers off from the principles and practices discussed in the handout, the LC
executive must bring the focus of the conversation back to the handout. Needless to say, the
LC executive must thoroughly familiarize herself or himself with the handout in order to do
this!

It is also possible that some participants resist the technique on the grounds that it is too
technical and listening should be an organic process. Acknowledge that they are right -listening should be an organic process. However, point out that we can also develop our
capacities and improve our skill sets around many things that should be organic, such as
leadership, empathy, relationship building, etc. Suggest that participants treat these exercises
as a scaffold -- once the building has been constructed, one can do away with the scaffolding,
but theres no way to build without one; similarly, once you have mastered the skill, you can
do away with the technical aspects of the handout, but the technical aspects are a useful tool
for mastering the skills.

HANDOUT 3: DIALOGIC LISTENING

Its hard to say when we became a society of poor listeners. But somewhere between our
many everyday distractions, technological and otherwise, and the pressure to get ahead by
making ourselves heard, we as a society have lost touch with this basic human skill. In the
process, we have not only hurt the quality of our relationships to others, we have also hurt
ourselves.
Fortunately, listening is a skill that can be learned and practiced, a muscle that can be
developed. This workshop aims to introduce you to dialogic listening, which moves beyond
passively hearing someone, and even beyond the techniques that have come to be known as
active listening. Some of these techniques will initially be hard to practice and might feel
fake; with steady use, however, you will find your own best listening style and find that the
techniques naturally slip into the background as your focus shifts to listening to the speaker
and creating meaning together.
Whats the big deal about listening?
According to Richard Salem, one of the pioneers in the fields of mediation and negotiation
during community conflicts, good listening:
1. builds trust and respect,
2. enables the disputants to release their emotions,
3. reduces tensions,
4. encourages the surfacing of information, and
5. creates a safe environment that is conducive to collaborative problem solving
Theres more. Madelyn Burley-Allen, author of Listening: the Forgotten Skill, has found that
when you listen well, you:
1. acknowledge the speaker,
2. increase the speaker's self-esteem and confidence,
3. show the speaker, "You are important" and "I am not judging you,"
4. gain the speaker's cooperation,
5. reduce stress and tension,
6. build teamwork,
7. gain trust,
8. elicit openness,
9. gain a sharing of ideas and thoughts, and
10. obtain more valid information about the speakers and the subject.
As change leaders, this is amongst the most important skills you can develop; it will form the
bedrock of various other competencies, such as Influence Without Authority and
Collaborative Work.
What is Dialogic Listening? How Does it Differ from Active Listening? How do both of
those differ from what I have so far assumed listening to be?

When listening to people, we are often either distracted or focusing more on what we will say
in response to them than on what they are saying (surely weve all had the experience of
coming up with rebuttals or comments even before the other person has finished what theyre
saying!). Active listening was developed as a structured way of listening and responding to
others. It stresses putting one's self in another's place, with the goal of effectively
understanding and accurately interpreting another's meanings.
Dialogic Listening takes this one step further, arguing that meaning is created in the space
between two people. Rather than assuming that the speaker comes to the conversation with a
clear idea that the listener only needs to understand, this approach focuses on speaker and
listener making sense of an experience or idea together. Advocates of Dialogic Listening
argue that it is impossible for us to actually get inside another's mind, or even to actually set
aside our own perspectives and emotions, but we can develop the ability to understand each
other better through the process of interaction and communication.
What does Dialogic Listening entail in practice?
The most important element in applying dialogic listening is the participant's attitude. The
dialogic listener must stay focused on staying present, and on the open-ended process they
are jointly creating. Dialogic listening occurs when these attitudes are coupled with the
following techniques:
1. Dialogic listeners should encourage each other to say more, to further explore and
explicate their views and questions. The authors find that requests to "say more" seldom
produce mere repetition, and generally produces greater clarity and detail.
2. Dialogic listeners should also use, extend, and share metaphors. Such use of metaphors is
typical of the softer style of thinking, which this approach seeks to foster. Exploring
metaphors can help to reveal new perspectives on an issue or situation.
3. Dialogic listening also makes use of paraphrasing. The authors recommend asking one's
conversation partner to paraphrase one's comments. Dialogic listeners use paraphrasing
not just to repeat what the other said but also to interpret and respond. Again, the goal
here is to keep the conversation open and focused on the interaction.
4. The authors also encourage dialogic listeners to explore the context of each other's
claims. Explore the circumstances and desires which surround ideas, feelings and
opinions. Filling out the context facilitates shared understanding. 1
Im still not sure how to apply these principles! Can you give me an example?
Lets take the example of a conversation between two fellows, A and B. A has just come back
from a difficult day at school, and B wants to engage A in a conversation about whats wrong.
A: Some days, it really doesnt feel like any of this work is worth it.
B: Whats going on?
A: Same old thing. I keep talking to the HM about fear-free classrooms, but it feels like
we are getting nowhere.
B: Tell me more.

Stewart, John, and Milt Thomas. "Dialogic Listening: Sculpting Mutual Meanings," in Bridges Not Walls, ed.
John Stewart, 6th edition, (New York: McGraw- Hill, 1995), pp. 184-201.

A: Well, last week, I was very upset because I saw one of the teachers hitting students
regularly. I tried taking it up with him directly, but he didnt seem to be interested in
talking about it. So I brought it up with the headmaster, and he said hed look into it.
But today, the same teacher slapped a Class 2 student for forgetting her textbook at
home. And when I mentioned this to him and to the headmaster, they just told me that
children need to be disciplined and that I wouldnt understand. It just feels like all this
talking about fear-free classrooms makes no difference.
B: Yes, I know what you mean. Sometimes, this whole process of behavior change can
feel like banging ones head against a wall.
A: Not just any wall. A solid concrete wall thats ten feet high and surrounds you on all 4
sides.
B: And the space youre in keeps shrinking as the walls come closer together.
A: Exactly. It feels so claustrophobic sometimes. Like theres no room for
experimentation or growth.
B: Hmm, thats interesting. So it sounds like you arent just getting annoyed with the fact
that your efforts arent bearing fruit -- youre also feeling stifled in terms of the space
thats available to you within the school. Is that an accurate sense of how youre
feeling?
A: I dont know about stifled; maybe thats too strong a word. But yes, I think youre
right. Its not just about whether the Headmaster is listening to me but also about my
sense that maybe I dont have the freedom to create as much change as I thought I
could when I came into the fellowship.
B: Do you think this is coming just from todays incident, or is there a broader context to
this feeling?
A: Oh, its definitely broader. I think Ive felt this way since The Village Immersion,
actually. I came in with such big dreams of what I would do within these two years, but
sometimes I feel so helpless looking at the complexity of the problems that exist. I
know thats part of the process of becoming a change leader, but some days, everything
just feels so overwhelming, like I dont even know where to begin.
B: Yes, I understand. And I think thats what happens when were really passionate about
change. It becomes hard to sit by and watch how slowly things happen sometimes.
A: I guess its about patience, huh? Celebrating the small victories and being patient with
the bigger struggles. I suppose it is too much to expect a teacher to change 35 years of
learned behavior in just a few months!
This conversation could go on a lot longer, but just from this excerpt, notice the following
applications of Dialogic Listening.
A: Same old thing. I keep talking to the HM about fear-free classrooms, but it feels like we
are getting nowhere.
B: Tell me more.
A: Well, last week, I was very upset because I saw one of the teachers hitting students
regularly. I tried taking it up with him directly, but he didnt seem to be interested in
talking about it. So I brought it up with the headmaster, and he said hed look into it.
But today, the same teacher slapped a Class 2 student for forgetting her textbook at
home. And when I mentioned this to him and to the headmaster, they just told me that

children need to be disciplined and that I wouldnt understand. It just feels like all this
talking about fear-free classrooms makes no difference.
When A first mentions her struggle, B doesnt jump to conclusions about why shes feeling
that way, nor does B simply tell her to cheer up. Instead, B asks for more details and lets A
get to heart of what is upsetting her.
B: Yes, I know what you mean. Sometimes, this whole process of behavior change can feel
like banging ones head against a wall.
A: Not just any wall. A solid concrete wall thats ten feet high and surrounds you on all 4
sides.
B: And the space youre in keeps shrinking as the walls come closer together.
A: Exactly. It feels so claustrophobic sometimes. Like theres no room for experimentation
or growth.
Once A has explained her situation, B introduces a metaphor to try and take the conversation
further. A chooses to accept the metaphor and build upon it, and B builds further upon As
expansion of the metaphor. By the fourth statement, this metaphor has allowed A to come to a
clearer sense of her emotions -- the focus has shifted from frustration to claustrophobia.
B: Hmm, thats interesting. So it sounds like you arent just getting annoyed with the fact
that your efforts arent bearing fruit -- youre also feeling stifled in terms of the space
thats available to you within the school. Is that an accurate sense of how youre
feeling?
A: I dont know about stifled; maybe thats too strong a word. But yes, I think youre right.
Its not just about whether the Headmaster is listening to me but also about my sense
that maybe I dont have the freedom to create as much change as I thought I could
when I came into the fellowship.
In this section, B brings the metaphor back into real life by offering an interpretation of what
A just said. Rather than assuming that he already understands As perspective, however, B
asks A if his paraphrasing is accurate. A uses that opportunity to reflect on Bs interpretation
and clarify how shes feeling and what she meant by the metaphor.
B: Do you think this is coming just from todays incident, or is there a broader context to
this feeling?
A: Oh, its definitely broader. I think Ive felt this way since The Village Immersion,
actually. I came in with such big dreams of what I would do within these two years, but
sometimes I feel so helpless looking at the complexity of the problems that exist. I know
thats part of the process of becoming a change leader, but some days, everything just
feels so overwhelming, like I dont even know where to begin.
B: Yes, I understand. And I think thats what happens when were really passionate about
change. It becomes hard to sit by and watch how slowly things happen sometimes.
A: I guess its about patience, huh? Celebrating the small victories and being patient with
the bigger struggles. I suppose it is too much to expect a teacher to change 35 years of
learned
behavior
in
just
a
few
months!

Now that B has a clearer sense of how A is feeling, he introduces a question to broaden the
discussion from this particular moment to the larger context. In the process, A is able to locate
her feelings of frustration and helplessness within her broader set of experiences and come to
a better sense of why this particular moment has been such a trigger.
Once again, B responds by paraphrasing As words through his own interpretation of the
moment, thereby helping A to see her feelings in context and feel more at peace.
One more time, tell me how to practice dialogic listening.
First, just talk more. Make time for conversation. Ask the other person to say more
about what they are thinking. Look for clarity and detail. Offer likewise and listen
to their requests for information. If you ask them to talk more, they will also
become more interested in you and a comfortable balance of speaking and listening
will emerge.
Use metaphor. Ask 'What is it like?' Take the thinking into other worlds and explore
how things might work out there. Then wonder how to bring the ideas found there
back into the 'real world'.
Use paraphrasing and otherwise reflect back to the other person what you are
hearing and seeing. Show them their selves in the mirror of you. Discuss what you
perceive and what leads you to these conclusions.
Explore what you discover about one another. Wonder together what is happening
between you and the locus and dynamics of your shared understanding. Wander
together through each others thoughts, emotions, needs and goals, preferences,
beliefs, values, and so on.
Above all, remember that the conversation does not seek to dig hard but to encircle
and play with concepts, using metaphor and other expanding methods. The focus is
on the here and now of what is going on between the people rather than what is going
on in one person's mind or what was or what might be. 2
When I try to practice dialogic listening, people tell me that they just dont get the
impression that I really want to understand. What could I be doing that gives them such
an impression?
Madelyn Burley-Allen offers these guidelines for listening:
1. Be attentive. Be interested. Be alert and not distracted. Create a positive atmosphere
through nonverbal behavior.
2. Be a sounding board -- allow the speaker to bounce ideas and feelings off you.
3. Don't ask a lot of questions. They can give the impression you are "grilling" the
speaker.
4. Act like a mirror -- reflect back what you think the speaker is saying and feeling.
5. Don't discount the speaker's feelings by using stock phrases like "It's not that bad," or
"You'll feel better tomorrow."

From http://changingminds.org/techniques/listening/dialogic_listening.htm

6.
7.

8.

Don't let the speaker "hook" you. This can happen if you get angry or upset, allow
yourself to get involved in an argument, or pass judgment on the other person.
Indicate you are listening by

Providing brief, noncommittal acknowledging responses, e.g., "Uh-huh," "I

see."

Giving nonverbal acknowledgements, e.g., head nodding, facial expressions

matching the speaker, open and relaxed body expression, eye contact.

Invitations to say more, e.g., "Tell me about it," "I'd like to hear about that."
Follow good listening "ground rules:"

Don't interrupt.

Don't change the subject or move in a new direction.

Don't rehearse in your own head.

Don't interrogate.

Don't teach.

Don't give advice.

Do reflect back to the speaker what you understand and how you think the
speaker feels 3

Are there any other barriers to good listening that I should be aware of
The following thoughts and behaviors could get in the way of your ability to listen to the
person across from you:
Thinking about your own experience (The same thing happened to me!) when you
should be listening to the other persons
Thinking about something quite different whilst the other person is talking
Thinking about what to say back
Feeling self-conscious or anxious in the situation
Working out some advice to give, based on you own personal experience
Judging the person, either positively or negatively: Surely you didnt want to do that! or
I think you were right to say that.
Deep cultural issues
Ignorance and prejudice4
Remember, listening is a muscle and, like any other muscle, it also takes time and
energy to develop. Commit to practicing this skill on a regular basis rather than
worrying too much about getting it right the first time.

Salem, Richard. "Empathic Listening." Beyond Intractability. Eds. Guy Burgess and Heidi Burgess. Conflict
Research Consortium, University of Colorado, Boulder. Posted: July 2003 <http://www.beyondintractability.org/
essay/empathic_listening/>
4

ibid

SESSION 4: RED FLAGS

Introduction
As team members begin to trust each other and work closely together, conflicts are bound to
arise at various points. In this session, participants share some of their personal red flags and
invite the group to problem solve together, thereby developing greater clarity on their own
emotions, while simultaneously making the group aware of feelings and behaviors that could
endanger their relationships.
Objectives
To explore situations to which we have strong reactions and to work on future responses to
them
To understand the red flags of other group members and work on how to ensure smoother
and more harmonious group functioning.
Facilitation
The activity can be facilitated by the LC executive and the peer group
Resources
Each participant will need a copy of Handout 4: Red Flags and a pen or pencil
Time: 1 1/2 - 2 hours
Filling out Handout: 20 minutes
Sharing with one partner: 20 minutes
Role play: 30-40 minutes
Debrief: 30-40 minutes
Activity
Participants are given copies of Handout 4 and asked to fill these out individually. If they are
unsure of the answer to a particular question, they are encouraged to think about the last time
they felt that particular emotion and to reflect on what it was about that situation that made
them feel angry/ uneasy/ frustrated etc. Participants take about 20 minutes to fill out these
sheets in as much detail as they can.
Participants then pair up and share as much of their handout as they can comfortably share
with a partner. They are encouraged to take a risk and push the boundaries of their comfort
zones, but care must also be taken to ensure that no one feels unsafe as a result. For instance,
if a fellows does not want to share situations that frighten me, they should be allowed to
withhold that information; the facilitator should only ask participants to challenge themselves
to be as honest as they can be today.
Finally, each participant chooses one emotion and situation to enact along with their partner.
So, if one person says that they switch off when someone speaks to them disrespectfully, one
partner enacts the disrespect and the other partner enacts the switching off reaction. The pairs

then present their scenes (one per participant) to the rest of the group, and the group has to
guess which red flag each scene pertains to.
The debrief for this exercise is a group discussion focused around the following questions:
What does this exercise teach you about yourself?
How could anticipating your emotional reactions to certain situations help? Now that you
have identified some of your red flags, are there any steps you can/ would like to take to
manage those emotions constructively?
What are the advantages of knowing the red flags of your group members? Now that you
know some of their red flags, are there any steps you can/ would like to take that might help
you work more harmoniously together?
Notes to the Facilitator
In some groups, it might be important to also open a discussion about whether a situation will
always make me angry and how I choose to express that anger. For instance, if a fellow says
Im very angry when I see a teacher hit a child or Witnessing sexist abuse makes me
angry, it is important to acknowledge that such anger is necessary and important -- the aim
of the exercise is not to suggest that we shouldnt become angry. Similarly, if someone says
I switch off when someone speaks to me disrespectfully, it is important to acknowledge that
as a natural reaction for this individual.
At the same time, it is important to stress that we must each take responsibility for the
emotions we feel and find the most constructive ways of dealing with them; we cannot
always change how others behave, at least not immediately, but we need to manage our own
emotions and use them wisely. If need be, fellows can brainstorm together about ways in
which to deal with these situations and emotions the next time they arise.
Care must also be taken to ensure that the activity does not become a space for personalized
attack. For example, if a fellow response to What kinds of situations/ things/ people irritate
you? by saying People like XYZ fellow, the facilitator must intervene. In such a situation,
the fellow offering this response can be asked to think about specific behaviors that they find
irritating rather than naming individuals because this is more productive for all involved.

HANDOUT 4: RED FLAGS

What kinds of people/ things/ situations
make me angry?

What kinds of things/ people/ situations

frighten or upset me?

What sorts of behaviors/ gestures/ words

make me switch off?

What kinds of situations/ things/ people

irritate me?

What makes me uneasy?

What kinds of things/ people/ situations

frustrate me?

SESSION 5: ISSUES BRAINSTORM

Introduction
Halfway through the second semesters Self-Discovery curriculum, as fellows get to know
each other better, as individuals and as a team, it is important to bring in the larger social
concerns that brought them into the fellowship to begin with. This activity creates the
beginnings of such a conversation in an intense and personal way, moving away from abstract
theorizing about issues and beginning to engage with the very real ways in which various
issues have affected the individuals in the room. In many cases, fellows might also find that
this articulation of the issues closest to them will lay the foundation for future articulation of
private dreams.
Objectives
To help fellows articulate the social or political issues most important to them at a personal
rather than theoretical level
To create a shared sense within the group of the importance of a range of issues and how
they affect individuals
To build trust based on a deeper awareness of each others stories.
Resources
Several sheets of chart paper or old newspaper; Markers bold enough to write on these; pens
and a few half-sheets of A4 paper per participant; tape
Facilitation
This activity requires minimal facilitation and can easily be carried out by the LC executive. It
would, however, be more useful and interesting if it can be carried out at the location level
with 20-30 instead of 5-6 fellows, and it will be fairly ineffective in situations where there are
only 2-3 fellows in a certain block. In such cases, possibilities for combining the activity for a
few blocks should be explored.
Time Required: 2 hours
Brainstorming: 10 minutes
Writing: 20 minutes
Reading: 30 minutes
Debrief: 30 minutes
Activity
The facilitator starts this activity by asking the group to call out important social issues they
believe affect people in India today. The facilitator divides large sheets of chart-paper or
newspaper into 4 quadrants and puts one issue into each quadrant (see diagram below)

Poverty

Gender

Violence

Corruption

The facilitator continues this process until the group runs out of issues and can also add some
that the group may have left out. No issues importance should be judged or debated at this
point; everything should be put on the sheets. By the end of this process, there should be at
least 30 issues on charts or newspaper sheets.
Each participant is then given small sheets of paper (half an A4 sheet each) and asked to write
a personal story of an experience related to 1-3 of the issues on the charts. The facilitator
emphasizes the importance of focusing not on opinions but on personal stories and
experiences. Participants are given the option of putting their names on the sheets or choosing
to write anonymously (the anonymity of the exercise can, of course, only really be
maintained if the activity is being done in the large group).
While the participants are writing, the facilitator puts the charts on the walls of the room and
makes sure tape is available at various places in the room. As the time for the writing ends,
participants are requested to paste their stories into the corresponding quadrants on the charts
around the room (for example, if I wrote a personal story about gender, I need to walk up to
the chart with the gender quadrant and paste my story within it). This activity is done in
silence.
When everyone has finished this exercise, participants are asked to walk around the room,
reading each of the stories. They are encouraged to do this alone and in silence, paying
attention to the thoughts and feelings that arise as they read each story. If participants are
tending to collect in a particular corner of the room, they should be gently encouraged to
spread out and get a sense of as many stories as possible.
The debrief for this activity should begin with a general feel check; the experience of reading
so many stories of the people in the room can be a powerful and emotionally overwhelming
exercise for some people. The group may express surprise at the range of issues experienced
by participants in the room, and in such cases, they should be gently reminded that the room
represents a microcosm of society and the issues of the world beyond the room will always be
part of any room they are in. This can be an important awareness they should carry into their
future work (for instance, whenever I am talking to a room of people, I should assume that
people in the room have experienced various kinds of violence and difficulty associated with
the many issues that exist in society. This awareness allows me to create a safer and more
respectful space for my various stakeholders).

Some questions that can be used to guide the debrief are:

What surprised you as you walked around the room reading each others stories?
Was there a story you hesitated to write? If so, where did that hesitation come from? Did it
change after reading all the other stories in the room?
What was the difference between writing/ reading these personal stories around issues and
having a theoretical conversation around these issues? Both are important, but what felt
different here?
What are the issues or stories that may not have been adequately represented here? Why do
you think that is the case?
Did you learn something new about yourself or your team through this exercise? What?
Debrief should also focus on how fellows experiences of these social issues might have
affected the passions and beliefs about social change that brought them into the Fellowship.
In this way, the session bridges the artificial divide between an individual fellows life and the
world she/he wants to change, allowing Fellows to view their lives and share their stories
through a lens of self discovery and social change simultaneously. This will also lay a good
foundation for later articulation of private dreams.
Notes to Facilitator
Depending on the kinds of stories fellows choose to write up, and on the degree of trust
amongst them, in some fellow groups, this sessions debrief will be mostly emotional, while
in others, it may lend readily to an exploration of various social phenomena and how they
affect individuals. Both serve the purposes of the exercise, but if the discussion feels too
heavily weighted towards one of the other, the facilitator should introduce a debrief question
to balance out the conversation.

SESSION 6: BECAUSE I AM A MAN/ WOMAN

Introduction
While each of us is an individual with a particular set of experiences, passions, and triggers,
we are also members of various social groups that have influenced our behaviors and
expectations from ourselves and others. As the fellow group begins to work together and
open up to each other, some of these will emerge as stumbling blocks, and this exercise seeks
to open honest conversation around one of the most critical issues that every fellow group
must deal with -- gender.
Women and men in India are raised to relate to others very differently. For example, women
are generally encouraged to talk about their emotions and seek help, while men are generally
encouraged to appear invulnerable and to not form deep, nurturing relationships with other
men. On the other hand, we are often raised to believe that men are better at solving problems
because women can be too emotional. All of these beliefs, conscious and subconscious,
become part of a groups functioning and often give rise to conflicts. While it is outside the
scope of any one exercise to address this deep conditioning, this session seeks to open a
conversation around gender and what the young women and young men in the group need
from each other.
Objectives
To facilitate self-discovery from the lens of gender, helping individuals identify emotions
and behaviors that stem from their social training as young men or young women.
To deepen the groups awareness of the ways in which gender-related upbringing and
behaviors might affect overall cohesion and trust
To help each block come up with a set of agreements that will allow participants of both
genders to interact more comfortably, sensitively, and respectfully with one another.
Facilitation
The session does not require any expert facilitation. However, the facilitator must be aware
that, depending on the levels of trust in the group, this conversation can veer into deeply
personal areas that might be uncomfortable for some group members. It is therefore highly
recommended that a Program Leader or other resource person be available to support the LC
executive in this session.
Also, this session is significantly more effective if conducted in the larger group; multiple
voices allow for some degree of anonymity and safety, which in turn allows this conversation
to gain depth. It is therefore highly recommended that this session be conducted at location
level rather than in the blocks.
Resources
Chart paper and markers for group agreements
Time: 2 hours

Activity
Fellows are asked to sit on the floor in two horizontal lines, one for the men and one for the
women, facing each other. If there are significantly fewer men than women, or vice versa,
they are asked to spread themselves out so that, even if there isnt one man facing every
woman, everyone can see and hear at least some of the others clearly.
The facilitator announces that she/ he is going to call out a series of statements that the
fellows will complete. In the first round, only the women will speak, and the men will listen.
In a second round, the men will speak and the women will listen. The responses do not have
to come in any order but can simply be shouted out, and each fellow can give as many
responses as she or he wants.
The facilitator reminds the fellows of the importance of confidentiality and deep listening.
Fellows are then asked to look at the person across from them and take a deep breath.
The facilitator begins with a set of statements for the women to fill. These are:
One thing I am proud of as a woman is...
One thing I never want a man to say to me is...
One thing I never want a man to do to me is...
One thing I need from my male allies is...
One thing I want you to know about women is...
The facilitator waits until there are at least 6-8 responses for each statement before moving on
the the next one. If need be, the facilitator can repeat a statement a few times for more
responses.
At the end of this exercise, the women and men are separated into two groups, and each
group is asked to share amongst themselves the feelings and thoughts that came up for them
in the course of the exercise. Ideally, each group would have a facilitator of the same gender
as the group, but if this is not possible, it is okay for the groups to just share emotions at this
time. Allow about 10 minutes for this conversation.
The groups then come back together in the same horizontal lines. The facilitator explains that
this time the men will have a chance to speak and the women will have a chance to listen.
The responses do not have to come in any order but can simply be shouted out, and each
fellow can give as many responses as he wants.
The facilitator begins the same set of statements, adapted for the men to fill. These are:
One thing I am proud of as a man is...
One thing I never want a woman to say to me is...
One thing I never want a woman to do to me is...
One thing I need from my female allies is...
One thing I want you to know about men is...
The facilitator waits until there are at least 6-8 responses for each statement before moving on
the the next one. If need be, the facilitator can repeat a statement a few times for more
responses.

At the end of this exercise, the women and men are again separated into two groups, and each
group is asked to share amongst themselves the feelings and thoughts that came up for them
in the course of the exercise. Ideally, each group would have a facilitator of the same gender
as the group, but if this is not possible, it is okay for the groups to just share emotions at this
time. Allow about ten minutes for this conversation.
The larger group is then brought together and broken up first into pairs or threes, with each
small group having at least one man and one woman in it. In these small groups, participants
share some of the highlights of the discussions that happened in the single-gender groups.
Allow an additional ten minutes for this conversation.
The larger group is now brought together again, and the facilitator starts by asking about
feelings. Some possible debrief questions are:
What was the most difficult statement for you to make? Why?
What was the most difficult statement to hear? Why?
What did you learn about yourself and the experiences of people of your gender through
this exercise?
What did you learn about people of the opposite gender through this exercise?
What is one statement you heard today based on which you can take action?
From feelings, the facilitator moves the conversation to thoughts and ideas, specifically in
response to the questions never want a
to say to me, never want a
to do to me,
and one thing I need from my allies. Fellows are asked what they heard their peers of the
opposite gender asking from them (rather than what they want from the opposite gender -this has already been expressed). Allow time for indepth conversation around these issues,
and allow fellows to clarify and nuance one anothers understanding. For instance, if a man
says, I heard the women saying that we should never touch them, ask the women if they
meant never or if they would like to add a nuance to this. If a woman says, Well, I dont
think its about never being able to touch us; I think its about the kind of touch and about
asking permission, ask her to clarify what she means. Because this conversation happens so
seldom in our society, push fellows to explain in as much detail as they can, and challenge
them to practice the skills of dialogic listening throughout this conversation. Allow 30-40
minutes for this conversation.
Finally, stress that not all women want the same things, and not all men want the same things.
These broad gender-based wishes or needs are also influenced by a range of other factors,
including personality, family, class, religion, rural-urban background, etc. It is therefore
important for us to have this conversation in more depth with the individuals we are working
with regularly.
At this point, the larger group should break up into the various block-level groups. Each
individual fellow is asked to share more with the smaller group about what they need from
each other in this regard. Each fellow group then comes up with a set of guidelines for their
block to practice greater gender sensitivity. Examples of such guidelines might be:

 As a woman, I will recognize that it might be much harder for my male colleagues to
express emotions than it is for me, and I will work hard to create safe spaces for them.
As a man, I will ask permission before hugging a woman in my group.
As a group, we will not judge either the women or the men as too emotional or too
sensitive in any situation but will strive to understand the emotions they are expressing.
While the block groups are devising their plans of action, the facilitator can move from group
to group to ensure that the discussion retains its seriousness and purpose. If the exercise is
being facilitated by a fellow, then at this point, the fellow must join her or his block group,
and the Program Leaders can take over the task of ensuring that the group comes up with
guidelines that reflect the needs and wishes of both the women and men in the group. Allow
30 - 40 minutes for the creation of these guidelines.
In each group, the LC executive takes the responsibility for later putting up these guidelines
on a chart that can be prominently displayed in the office, residences, or somewhere where
the fellows will come across it on a daily basis.
Notes to the Facilitator
Depending on the level of trust in the group and the depth of the conversations so far, it is
possible that some people express deep discomfort, pain, or other uncomfortable emotions. It
is important for the facilitator to note that our training as men and as women has created
several deep-seated assumptions and tendencies, and it is natural for there to be a high level
of discomfort when we first begin to talk about these issues that are usually ignored in our
society.
In some groups, it is possible that certain fellows get defensive about the exercise and ask
why we are separating them based on gender when in truth, we are all the same. If this
question arises, gently remind the group that, although we might all wish for equality, our
society has constructed the experiences of men and women differently. Explain that, rather
than trying to divide the group, you are attempting to open up an important conversation
about some of the differences that exist, simply so that we can understand ourselves and each
other better and work more effectively together.

SESSION 7: WHAT KIND OF TEAM MEMBER AM I?

Introduction
Each member of a team is valuable. A rich and diverse team is an asset because most complex
problems require different set of skills that one person cannot possess. To discover what each
persons unique strength in the team is, one can use the Belbin team roles questionnaire.
Purpose
To explore each participants unique talent and contribution to the team
Material
Belbin team roles questionnaire.

Prior Preparation
All participants should have filled out the Belbin Team Roles
survey online as well as the Observer assessments.
Participants will have received and read their reports before
coming to the session.
Before the session, the LC executive will have drawn the
facing diagram on a board or flipchart (instead of the pictorial
representations, it is also possible to just write the name of
each of the corresponding Belbins Roles in the
corresponding sections.

Total time required: 1 1/2 hour

Sharing of reports: 30 minutes
Team analysis and coming to action points: 1 hour
Mode of facilitation
Belbins Team Roles activity is an expert facilitator led activity. Therefore, rather than trying
to interpret it within the team, it is important that the activity be done on www.belbin.com
and expert reports be generated there.
Executing the activity
Each fellow comes into the session having read and thought about their individual reports.
The activity begins with each person walking up to the diagram on the board or flipchart and
putting her or his initials in the sections corresponding to the two roles on which she or he has
been ranked most highly. Participants should use their top two Team Roles as highlighted on
the Team Role Overview page of their report
Each team member then takes about 5 minutes to share the role they naturally play and their
findings about themselves with the group.

The team is then encouraged to look at the chart as a whole and analyze their findings as a
team rather than as individuals. Using their newly-acquired knowledge of Team Roles, ask
participants to come up with a list of five strengths of the team, and five possible weaknesses.
This may include statements such as: We have three Teamworkers and no Shapers. This
means that we are at risk of losing direction and focus. However, the atmosphere within the
team is likely to be very supportive.
Further debrief can focus around the question: Reflect on your team composition. Does your
team have a diverse set of people? If so, how do you all complement each other? If not, who
is missing? How do you intend to make up for the loss/lacunae in your team?
On completion of this exercise, ask participants to come up with 3 action points, based on
their discussions, which will enable the team to increase its effectiveness
Homework
Try on a new role in your team for one team activity, in the next two weeks with your teams
permission and check how it feels for you. Each of your team members can do the same. At
the end of the activity, report on how it felt to try on a new role, why you chose the role you
did, what your team felt and thought about your performance and if you would like to
continue the same role further.

SESSION 8: WALKING THE LEADERSHIP TALK

Introduction
As participants move towards the end of their first year of the fellowship, they have had a
chance to practice leadership in many different contexts. This exercise creates space for
reflection and feedback around individual leadership strengths and weaknesses, allowing
each Fellow to get a clearer sense of who she or he is as a leader and how they can be more
effective.
Objectives
To gain a realistic sense of ones strengths and weaknesses as a leader based on reflection
on ones lived leadership behaviors.
To identify gaps between the leader I am and the leader I want to be and to design
ways of filling those gaps.
Facilitation
This activity can easily be facilitated by the peer group with some support from the LC
executive.
Resources
A copy of Handout 5, My Leadership Behaviors, for each participant.
Time: 1 1/2 hours
20 minutes for filling percentages in Handout 3
30 minutes for sharing and feedback
40 minutes for debrief
Activity
Participants are given copies of Handout 5 and are first asked to reflect on the past week and
their daily interaction with their peers and in the schools where they work. Using the list of
behaviors in the chart, they are asked to determine the amount of time (in percentages) that
they generally spend on each behavior. Then in the second column, they are asked to
determine what they feel would be ideal distribution of time (in percentages). Remind
participants that, at any given time, they are doing one of the following, so the totals of the
10 behaviors should come to 100%, not more!
When everyone has finished, they share their percentage break-ups with the rest of the
group and invite feedback. While it will never be possible for other group members to
conclusively assess the percentage of time spent on each behavior by a particular fellow,
they can be invited to give overall assessments of whether their impression of the fellows
time break-up matches the fellows self-assessment. For instance, if a fellow feels she/he has
spent the largest chunk of time collaborating, while the group feels that fellow spends most
of her/his time directing, this can prove to be valuable feedback on individual leadership
styles and what aspects of leadership each individual most needs to work on. If the group

has in fact been invited to offer feedback, they should be reminded to use the Appreciative
Inquiry framework and focus on what the fellow does well rather than on what she or he
lacks.
The debrief can focus on the following questions:
1. Is there a gap between how you should spend your energy and how you actually spend it?
2. Are there some behaviors that are taking up too much of your leadership time? Why?
3. Are there some strategies that you can employ that would move you closer to your ideal
distribution of behavior?

HANDOUT 5: MY LEADERSHIP BEHAVIORS

Think back to your work over the last week, including your interactions with other fellows
and with your HMs, over the past week. Now, using the list of behaviors below, determine
the amount of time (in percentages) that you spent on each of the following behaviors (treat
your total time as 100% and break it up between these 10 behaviors).
Then in the second column, determine what you feel would be ideal distribution of time (in
percentages) for each of these behaviors.
Remember that you can only be doing one of these things at a time, so your total time
should not exceed 100%!

Behavior

Percentage of time spent on

each behavior

Ideally the percentage of

time you would like to
devote to each behavior

Informing
Directing
Clarifying or Justifying
Persuading
Collaborating
Brainstorming or
Envisioning
Reflecting (Quiet Time for
Thinking)
Observing
Disciplining
Resolving interpersonal
conflicts

Reflection Questions
1. Is there a gap between how you should spend your energy and how you actually spend it?
2. Are there some behaviors that are taking up too much of your leadership time? Why?
3. Are there some strategies that you can employ that would move you closer to your ideal
distribution of behavior?

SESSION 9: LEADERSHIP ENVELOPES

Introduction
This leadership game builds upon the previous sessions understanding on oneself as a leader
but pushes fellows to articulate how broad leadership principles can be translated into lived
behaviors in their work. Fellows brainstorm about a wide variety of leadership approaches to
various situations that they encounter in the course of their daily work. The group also
discusses different fellows strengths and struggles in this regard and attempts to find a way
for fellows to support each others growth as leader.
Objectives
To build on the previous session by helping participants see which leadership principles are
easiest and hardest for them to apply in their lives and work
To help Fellows see one anothers leadership strengths and identify concrete ways in which
they can work together to support each others learning and growth.
Time: 2 hours
Facilitation
Can be facilitated by LC executive.
Prior Preparation
All participants should read the Leadership Challenge handout before the session, so as to
build a basic understanding of the principles they will be looking at in this session. They are
also encouraged to bring their handout copies with them so that they can easily consult them
during the session
Resources
Handout for each participant
Five leadership-principle envelopes. Each envelope has one of the following leadership
principles taken from James M. Kouzes and Barry Z. Posner's The Leadership Challenge
(Jossey-Bass Publishers, 1995):

Challenge the process

Inspire a shared vision

Enable others to act

Model the way

Encourage the heart

Activity
Review the five leadership principles. Explain to participants that the activity requires them
to translate these principles into everyday on-the-job behaviors.
Distribute the supplies. Give one leadership-principle envelope and four sheets of paper to
each participant. If there are more than five participants, come of them can pair up into teams.

Conduct the first round. Ask fellows to think about the leadership principle on the envelope
they received, and to identify how this principle can be applied to on-the-job decisions and
behaviors in their schools or fellow groups. They must write short sentences describing these
application examples on a sheet of paper. Announce a time limit of 3 minutes and encourage
the teams to work rapidly. Explain that the responses will eventually be evaluated in terms of
both the number and the quality of the examples.
Conclude the first round. After 3 minutes, blow the whistle to announce the end of the first
round. Ask each fellow to place her or his response card (the sheet with its application
examples) inside the envelope and pass the envelope, unsealed, to the next person. Instruct
the fellows not to open the envelope they receive.
Conduct the second round. Ask fellows to review the leadership principle on the envelope
they received, but not to look at the application examples on the response card inside. Tell
them to repeat the earlier procedure and list the application examples of this principle on a
new response card. After 3 minutes, blow the whistle and ask them to place the response card
inside the envelope and pass it to the next team.
Conduct more rounds. Conduct two more rounds of the game using the same procedure.
Conduct the evaluation round. Start the fifth round just as you did the previous rounds.
However, tell fellows that they do not have to write any more application examples. Instead,
they must evaluate the four response sheets inside the envelope. They do this by reviewing
the individual examples on each response sheet and then comparing the overall merits of the
response sheets with each other. Teams have 100 points to distribute among the four response
sheets to indicate each card's relative merit. Allow 15 minutes for this activity
Present the results. At the end of the time limit, check to ensure everyone has completed their
task and has recorded on each response card the number of points awarded. Ask for
volunteers to share the leadership principle on their envelope and read the application
examples on each card, beginning with the card that received the least number of points. The
reading should progress from one card to the next in an ascending order of the number of
points. After reading all four cards, the fellow should announce how she/he distributed the
100 points and briefly explain the criteria used for distributing the points. Each fellow has 10
minutes for this part of the exercise.
Determining the Winner. Instruct fellows to place all the response cards on a table at the front
of the room; then call for each fellow to collect her or his cards. Ask them to add up the
points on their cards to determine their total score. Invite everyone to announce their total
scores. Identify and congratulate the fellow with the highest score.
Debrief can focus on these questions:
What are the interesting patterns among the application examples?

 Can you find similarities among application examples related to different leadership
principles?
What leadership principle was the most difficult one for you to come up with suitable
application examples? The easiest one? Why?
Identify one person within the group who seems to have very different leadership strengths
than yours. How can the two of you learn from and support from each other?
Reflect on your work in schools or within the fellow groups. Which leadership principle
application idea could you implement immediately?

SESSION 10: REVISITING THE JOHARI WINDOW

Introduction
The last session of LC 4 for the second semester circles back to the first session. Participants
reuse the Johari window framework to assess how far they have come in their journey of self
discovery and where they would like to go next.
Objective
To carry out an informal self-assessment of their own journeys through the self-discovery
curriculum
To underline that self-discovery is an ongoing process of understanding ourselves more and
more deeply, rather than a one-time effort.
Resources
Copies of Handout 6: Revisiting the Johari Window
Facilitation
The activity can be facilitated by the LC executive.
Time
2 hours
Activity
Part 1
Each Participant is given Handout 6 and reminded that the window represents different
aspects of the self, some of which are known to everyone and some of which are completely
hidden. Participants are asked to fill out the windows open and hidden with as much
information as they can put down. They are informed that they will not be required to share
this handout with anyone and should feel free to put down confidential information,
particularly in the hidden section.
1.

Open: Things we know about ourselves and others in the group know about us. This
is the information about the person -- behavior, attitude, feelings, emotion,
knowledge, experience, skills, views, etc. -- known by the person ('the self') and
known by the group ('others'). Participants should put down everything they can think
of about themselves that the group knows, from their favorite food or TV show to an
important dream or skill.

2.

Hidden: The Hidden Johari region represents what is known to ourselves but kept
hidden from, and therefore unknown to, others. This hidden or avoided self represents
information, feelings, or anything else that a person knows about him/herself, but
which is not revealed or is kept hidden from others. The hidden area could also
include sensitivities, fears, hidden agendas, secrets -- anything that a person knows
but does not reveal, for whatever reason. As participants fill out this information,

remind them that the handout is confidential and that they will not be required to
show their sheets of paper to anyone.
After participants have filled out these two areas, facilitator shares that the aim in any group
should always be to develop the 'open area' for every person, because when we work in this
area with others we are at our most effective and productive, and the group is at its most
productive too. By telling others how we feel and other information about ourselves we
reduce the hidden area, and increase the open area, which enables better understanding,
cooperation, trust, team-working effectiveness and productivity. Reducing hidden areas also
reduces the potential for confusion, misunderstanding, poor communication, etc, which all
distract from and undermine team effectiveness. Further, by opening our hidden areas to
others, we invite them into our lives and build trust.
Participants are asked to look at their hidden quadrant and choose one thing they are
willing to share with the group. The extent to which an individual discloses personal feelings
and information, and the issues which are disclosed, and to whom, must always be at the
individual's own discretion. If some participants are hesitant to share deeply personal
information, they should simply be asked What is one thing about you that we dont yet
know but that would make our group work better for you?. The answer could be as simple as
I like having an hour of time to myself in the mornings before we go to school or I have a
hard time being open with others and would prefer not to be pushed too hard.
Part 2
Participants are then introduced to the second half of the quadrant -- the things that we do not
know about ourselves. The Blind quadrant is for information about a person that is known
to others in the group, but is unknown to the person him/herself. This blind area is not an
effective or productive space for individuals or groups.
The Unknown quadrant represents things that neither the individual nor the group knows (it
might represent things like an ability that is underestimated or untried through lack of
opportunity, encouragement, confidence or training; a natural ability or aptitude that a person
doesn't realise they possess; a fear or aversion that a person does not know they have).
At the start of this activity, participants have no way of knowing the difference between what
goes into each of these areas. They should therefore be asked to make a list of a few
questions they have about themselves that they think the group might be able to offer some
insight on. For example, Am I able to lead discussions effectively? or What do you think
my greatest strengths as a team member are? or what seems to be a natural aptitude that I
dont realize I have?). Once each participant has made a list of 3-5 questions, they take turns
asking the group these questions and noting down the answers.
Once everyone in the group has had their questions answered by the group, they put new
learnings about themselves into the Blind category. If some questions remain unanswered,
they are noted in the Unknown category.
Final Reflection

Participants are asked to reflect on the differences between this version of their Johari
windows and the version they did in the first session. Specifically, they are asked:
What are the things that were in the Hidden section that are now in the Open?
What are the things that were in the Blind section that are now in the Open?
What are the things in the Unknown section that are now either in the Hidden or the Open?
Based on this comparison, participants reflect on the distance they have traveled individually
and as a group on the semesters journey of self-discovery. As a closing exercise, they each
note at least one thing from the hidden section that they are willing to risk sharing with
someone in the group over the next few weeks or months and one thing in the Unknown
section that they would like to explore further.
Note to the Facilitator:
If the group has now achieved a high level of trust and comfort in sharing, an additional
component can now be added to the activity. Fellows can volunteer to offer each other
feedback for the Blind sections. For this part of the exercise, participants would think about
whether there is something that they believe that the Fellow isnt aware of but should be, and
they would ask permission to offer feedback on it. For example: I notice that your Open
section does not mention anything about your ability to create relationships. May I offer you
some feedback on the same? Fellows should always have the option of declining this
feedback, but if they choose to accept it, they can then put any new learnings from this
process into their Open sections.

HANDOUT 6: REVISITING THE JOHARI WINDOW