A daughter's difficulties as a wife: Mrs Reuben Chandler to

her mother in New Orleans

[from The Collected Poems ... 1955-1995 (1996), Oxford
University Press] (1996)
SEPTEMBER 3, 1840

1 Now that I've been married for almost four weeks, Mama,
2 I'd better drop you and Papa dear a line.
3 I guess I'm fine.
4 Ruby has promised to take me to the Lexington
5 buggy races Tuesday, if the weather cools.
6 So far we've not been out much.
7 Just stayed here stifling in hot Cincinnati.
8 Clothes almost melt me, Mama, so I've not got out
9 my lovely red velvet-and-silk pelisse yet,

10 or that sweet little lambskin coat with the fur hood.

11 The sheets look elegant!
12 I adore the pink monogram on the turnover
13 with exactly the same pattern on the pillowcases!
14 Darlings!
15 How I wish you could breeze in and admire them!
16 And the table linen,
17 and the bone china,
18 and the grand silver candlesticks,

19 and especially those

20 long-stemmed Venetian wine glasses
21 with the silver rims.

22 My, didn't your little daughter

23 play the queen the other day
24 serving dinner to a whole bevy of bachelors!

25 To tell the truth, Mama,

26 Reuben was a silly to ask them,
27 just imagine me, tiny wee me,

28 hostess to fourteen dragons

29 and famished monsters,
30 doing battle with fuming pipes and flying plugs.

31 Poor Rube!
32 He doesn't chew and hardly ever smokes.
33 He must have felt out of place.

34 I was frantic, naturally,

35 for fear of wine stains and
36 tobacco juice on the table cloth,

37 so I set Agatha to dart in and dab with a towel,

38 and told Sue in the kitchen, to brew up some coffee
39 quick, before they began speechmaking.

40 But it was no use.

41 They would put me up on a chair after the ices,
42 and one of them-Big Tom they call him-

43 (runs a sizable drygoods business here)

44 well, this Tom pulled off my shoe,
45 tried to drink wine out of it while

46 I was dying of laughter,

47 and Tom was laughing too, when suddenly
48 I slipped, and fell on the Flemish decanter!

49 It broke.
50 Such a terrible pity.
51 And so funny at the same time.

52 I must admit the boys were bricks,

53 carrying the tablecloth out to the kitchen,
54 holding it out while I

55 poured hot water from a height,

56 just as you always said to.
57 Everything would have been all right.

58 The party could have gone on.

59 Then Reuben had to nose in and spoil things,
60 sending me to bed!

61 So the boys went off, kind of sheepish.

62 Later Reuben said I had disgraced us
63 and where was I brought up anyway,

64 to behave like a bar maid!

65 But it wasn't my fault, Mama,
66 They were his friends. He invited them.

67 I like to give men a good time!

68 I'm writing this in bed because
69 my head thumps and drums every time I move
70 and I'm so dog tired!

The only time I sleep is in the morning

72 when Reuben has left for the office.
73 Which brings up a delicate subject, Mama.

74 I've been thinking and thinking,

75 wondering whether I'll ever succeed in being
76 the tender, devoted little wife you wanted me to be.

Because ... oh, Mama,

78 why didn't you tell me or warn me before I was married
79 that a wife is expected to do it every night!

80 But how could we have guessed?

81 Ruby came courting so cool and fine and polite,
82 while beneath that gentlemanly, educated exterior ...

83 well! I don't like to worry you, Mama.

84 You know what men are like!
I remember you said once the dears couldn't help it.

86 I try to be brave.
87 But if you did have a chance to speak to Papa,
88 mightn't you ask him to slip a word,

89 sort of man to man to Reuben ...

90 about how delicate I am
91 and how sick I am every month,

92 not one of those cows

93 who can be used and used!
94 Someone's at the door.

95 I forgot,
96 I asked Fanny Daniels to come up this morning
97 to help fix a trim for my hat.

98 I'll have to hustle!

99 Give all my love to dear Spooky and Cookie.
100 How I miss them, the doggy darlings!

101 Oceans of hugs and kisses for you, too,

102 and for precious Papa,
103 From your suffering and loving daughter,
104 Marianne