quotes: anonymous

a scene is a collection of sexual references that masquerades as an art support group

-anonymous
After decades of careful research on the possible uses of the Internet, we were still
unprepared for anything as pointless as IRC.
-anonymous
All the surrealist stuff with naked women, with a few exceptions, gets me really angry.
So much of it is obviously, 'Let us look at naked ladies while pretending to shock you by
exposing your mind to the naked breast!'
-anonymous
And it's not development's fault--the corporate management infrastructure seems to have
a worse checks and balances system than a pre-school lemonade stand.
-anonymous
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. In bed!
-anonymous
art and science are of the same basic fabric, except in art you tend to arrive at important
developments without the need for documentation on how you got there
-anonymous
But, of course, both you and I know that our words our meaningless and we only speak
them to hint at the dark and deranged undercurrent, which can never be named.
-anonymous
Call his bluff. If you're lucky you'll get to see his entire life flashing before his lies.
-anonymous
Dear L. L. Bean, please rename the color choice for mens' boxers to something other than
'cream.' Many thanks.
-anonymous
Delaying Windows Vista's release would be like throwing sand in the anal lubricant. It
would not change anything, just make it a bit more painful for Gates and the customers
preparing themselves.
-anonymous
Everybody who's vested is too busy lighting cigars and tipping hookers to comment.
-anonymous Sports Illustrated editor after AOL/Time-Warner merger announcement
I am gayer than a cocaine tupperware party
-anonymous
I can see it now: Our drives will give you the capacity to continue to store all that old
data in addition to all your new data. The new Segate Information Buttplug 1 terabyte
drive - the data goes in, but it never comes out. "The constipation of success"
-anonymous
I don't know what my problem with women is.. I've tried getting bigger shoes, but it
doesn't help.
-anonymous
I feel so... dirty... I'm currently using Windows XP, instead of my old faithful Linux, and
I really hate myself. I feel like a cheap whore.
-anonymous
I had more thoughts over the weekend but I forgot them because they were at a party and
I was busy staring at some girl's legs.
-anonymous
i have a persistent object...in my pants!!
-anonymous
i have my doubts that the evening will wind up with us together unless ... the first words
out of her mouth are "i" and "apologize" in that order
-anonymous
I just saw my insurance rates pass before my eyes.
-anonymous
i suffer for art. or from it, rather.
-anonymous
I take all major forms of death.
-anonymous
I wasn't looking for 'Ms. Right', or even 'Ms. Right Now', but more for 'Ms. Right Here'.
-anonymous
I think that's reason enough to give up Linux and go with BeOS R5. I mean, how much
sex does the average Linux user get? I just did a poll of Be developers I know. They get a
lot. I don't think it has anything to do with sex appeal though. It has to do with time.
Linux users sit and play with themselves while recompiling their kernel. Be users leave
that job to Brian "no-dual-Celerons-TYVM" Swetland at Be and spend the quality time
with their wives and girlfriends. Linux may be hot now, but without adequate procreation
of its vocal supporters, it will be a footnote in a generation.
-anonymous
I'm not homophobic, I'm just intolerant.
-anonymous
I'm smart. Take my pants off.
-anonymous
if anyone wants the vicarious orgasm, send me a check for $5.
-anonymous
If I wanted to sleep with someone that effeminate, I'd be heterosexual.
-anonymous
It's only premarital sex if you're going to get married.
-anonymous
It's so embarrassing when I'm always right.
-anonymous
Maybe 1 percent. The one percent shall hereby be named 'angst'. As in, 'I met a really
nice piece of angst today'.
-anonymous
Men are always whining about how we're suffocating them. Personally, I think if you can
hear them whining... you're not pressing hard enough on the pillow.
-anonymous
my ethics teacher, on the other hand, is one of the best impersonators of a hamster
pumped full of crack in the world. who wins? me.
-anonymous
My testicles actually grow in size every time I drive that fast.
-anonymous
Never read James Joyce while sitting on the toilet. It will forever distort your ability to go
to the can.
-anonymous
NT is like AIDS. Everything looks great, and a couple of years later you realize you've
got serious problems - the price you pay for screwing around.
-anonymous
Oh, btw, if I said or did anything out of character, or accidentally
embarrassed/angered/molested anyone -- I blame it on the liquor and drugs ... oh, and of
course, I was out of town on business.
-anonymous
Shouldn't we try and rise above our evolutionarily determined urges, especially when
they're nothing but meaningless, wasteful exchanges? No? Well, unless you want to
never get laid...
-anonymous
Sometimes I really hate myself for being so judgemental. But not today.
-anonymous
SWM seeks intelligent SWF for pointless sexual relationship. I'm bitter, jaded, and hate
the outdoors, but don't let that stop you since I won't value your opinion anyway. Call me,
and save the money you would have spent on dinner and a movie.
-anonymous
SWM25, snuff fetishist, seeking SWF18-25 for short term relationship.
-anonymous
Ten thousand people in this damn school and I get a stupid fat Greek with poor taste in
music who lives across the hall and thinks he's a headbanger.
-anonymous
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.
-anonymous
The great thing about homophobia is that once you've decided you hate gays, you can
then decide that someone you don't like is gay, and have a reason to hate him other than
that he's a fat, stupid, ham-handed imbecile.
-anonymous
The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
-anonymous
The irony is that we subtly contribute to this by helping to build network and
organizational infrastructure which supports a highly networked economy. We think
we're doing better because our salaries go up and up and up when in fact we spend more
and more of our income at... amazon.com. Translation: less money now than when I was
flat broke.
-anonymous
There is but one lesson you must learn, young one: Do what you want. If you don't know
what you want, then do nothing, and call it Zen. Don't bother attempting to get
subcultural insights from someone who believes in subculture. The emperor wears no
clothes and the Way cannot be seen.
-anonymous
This is it. Billions of dollars of development in computers and miniaturization
technology, all so I can have Jenna Jameson and a cheap knock-off of "The Bard's Tale"
in my pants.
-anonymous
We do dangerous drugs, and pass the savings on to you!
-anonymous
Welcome to Vasa-Zine! The only online magazine for humans, by humans. Well except
for that one day when the apes took over, but I think we have that problem under control
now.
-anonymous
WILL YOU PLEASE IMPALE YOURSELF THROUGH THE HEART ON MY
WOODEN STAKE, GOTH BOY? CHECK ONE: YES NO
-anonymous
You do not understand hate. You do not hate something, you are full of hate or not full of
hate. Generally, if you are not full of hate you are dumb. Generally, if you are full of hate
you are also dumb. Generally, you are dumb.
-anonymous
You misunderstand. I'm not a sexist, I'm a misogynist. I don't have anything against any
of the _other_ sexes, just women.
-anonymous