FAMILIAR

He grew quiet again, really quiet, but I felt his breath, warm and
faintly beer scented, against my face. He shifted ever-so-slightly
beneath me and, oh man, no, I hadnt imagined that hard press against
my groin earlier. I felt like Id been knocked breathless all over again,
but for a very different reason this time.
Im not hurt. And would it be totally wrong of me to say Im not
sorry you fell on me, and Im more comfortable than you might
guess? His voice had gone all husky again, and the hard ridge
pressing into my groin seemed to grow even firmer.
Youwha I found myself speechless once more. This wasnt
possible. Couldnt, under any circumstances, be possible. I was
dreaming this. I was not lying on top of the guy Id been having wet
dreams about since that blustery October night when Id first seen him,
the guy I was certain was straight and totally unaware of my existence,
and he wasnt sporting an erection against my own quickly burgeoning
one, and he surely wasnt telling me he was glad Id fallen on top of
him. No, couldnt be
b fdc

ALSO BY M. L. RHODES
Always
Bring The Heat
Couplings
The Draegan Lords
The Elf And Shoemaker
Falling
Fires Of Ballian
Hearts & Bones
Into The Woods
Lords Of Kellesborne
Never Let Go
Out Of My Mind
Passion
Passion & Satisfaction
The Professors Secret Passion
Satisfaction
Shattered
Souls Deep
True Of Heart
The Truth About Al
Under My Skin, Vols. I & II
Vertigo
Wanting

FAMILIAR
BY
M. L. RHODES

AMBER QUILL PRESS, LLC

http://www.AmberQuill.com

FAMILIAR
AN AMBER QUILL PRESS BOOK
This book is a work of fiction.
All names, characters, locations, and incidents are products of the
authors imagination, or have been used fictitiously.
Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, locales,
or events is entirely coincidental.
Amber Quill Press, LLC
http://www.AmberQuill.com
All rights reserved.
No portion of this book may be transmitted or
reproduced in any form, or by any means, without permission in
writing from the publisher, with the exception of brief
excerpts used for the purposes of review.
Copyright 2012 by M. L. Rhodes
ISBN 978-1-61124-365-9
Cover Art 2012 Trace Edward Zaber

PUBLISHED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

This ones for my son C, an amazing young man

with many talents and passions. Like Emrys in this story, he
has one of the biggest hearts Ive ever known, and his
creativity and ability to look at things from a different perspective
are a true gift. I love you like crazy, sweetheart, and
know the world will only ever be a better place with you in it.

FAMILIAR

CHAPTER 1
My hopeless crush, and the trouble it created, began on a
blustery autumn night when I was sixteen. Yeah, I know, how
clicha dark and stormy night. But trust me when I tell you that
sometimes, truth is stranger than fiction.
The high school football team had a game that particular
Saturday night, which also happened to be Halloween. While the
town was packed with locals and tourists roaming the streets in
costume, or attending parties or Samhain rituals (after all, our town
was famous for its Halloween celebrations), the die-hard football
fans took time off from the revelries to go watch the local high
school boys battle it out on the gridiron.
Although I was hardly an athlete myself, nor did I have any
particular love of sports, I did have plenty of school spiritor was
1

FAMILIAR

full of spirits, so to speak, since my best friend Lee Babbitt and I

lurked under the bleachers during games, sharing a bottle of Jim
Beam his older brother always bought for us at the package store.
Therefore, I was in attendance the night the Salem Witches (yes,
thats really the mascot for Salem High School) worked a bit of
magick and actually beat the division-leading Danvers Falcons.
No one had expected it, since the Witches hadnt exactly been
having a stellar year. But Id heard rumblings in the hallways that
week about the new kid whod just moved to town. Hed joined
the football team and had already booted Skippy McDermotts
scrawny ass out of the quarterback position and taken over because
he was just that good. I hadnt seen this new kid around, mostly
because I wasnt really looking. As I said, sportsnot my thing.
Plus, Id spent several days the past week home sick with the
stomach flu that my little sister had gifted me with after it ran
rampant in her fourth grade class. When Id finally dragged
myself, pale and jittery, back to school on Friday, Id been too
busy trying to play catch up with my classes to see much of
anything except the blur of makeup tests and piles of homework
Id missed.
Anyway, the new kid was now the quarterback. And by some
miracle, at that Halloween night football game, with the wind
gusting dry leaves across the field, and the chilly threat of rain in
the air, with only ten seconds left on the clock, the new kid threw a
forty-yard pass to one of the wide receivers in the end zone and the
Witches scored, beating the Falcons by one point. The crowd went
ape shit. Lee and I, skulking under the bleachers, thoroughly
kerschnickered, and me feeling pukey all over again because booze
on the heels of stomach flu wasnt exactly one of my brighter
moments, almost went deaf from the stomping feet and whoops of
2

FAMILIAR

joy above us. We wondered what had happened, so we slinked out

and caught the end of the uproar.
Down on the field, the team had hoisted the new kid and the
wide receiver up on their shoulders. What looked like a jillion
screaming fans had joined them, swarming around them like ants
at a picnic. Lee and I clung to the fence near the end zone where
the locker rooms were, watching the hoopla.
And thats when it happened.
As the crush on the field moved toward us, the new kid took off
his helmet and I saw him for the first time. My heart stopped
beating. Or maybe it rushed ahead at mach speed. I wasnt sure.
All I was certain about was that in my sixteen years I, Emrys
Andrews, had never seen anyone I wanted so badly. He was blond
and buff and had a knockout smile as they carried him, in his red
team uniform, off the field like the hero he was. And I stood there,
drunk, geeky, and stupid with love at first sightokay, I was
sixteen, so maybe it was lust, but you get the pointand all I knew
was that I wanted him. Yearned for him. Needed him. I wanted to
worship at the temple of his beauty, like right now, this second, or
I was going to explode into a million little shattered bits. My
cheeks stung with heat in spite of the cold air, my stomach felt all
swirly and hot, my private parts pressed painfully against the
zipper of my jeans, and my chest tightened. So maybe it was lust
and love.
I found myself cheering like everyone else, caught up in the
mania, and as he passed near the fence, still up on his teammates
shoulders, I reached for the golden god. Couldnt help it. I needed
to cop a feel of all that amazing, mind-numbing goodness. He
passed only a few feet away from me, close enough I could see
now that his eyes were summer-sky blue. But not close enough for
3

FAMILIAR

me to get even my fingertips on him. So I tried harder, leaning

across the fence.
At that moment, a miraculous thing occurredthe heros gaze
fell on me. On me! For a few brief, shining seconds, his smile
seemed to brighten, and those blue eyes were mine, all mine. If I
hadnt already been a total goner, that would have cinched the
deal.
Bountiful Goddess, I needed to touch him. Needed to touch
him in the worst way!
I threw my body farther across the fence, forcing myself to
reachreaaaach!
Looking back on it now, I remember being completely
dumbstruck at the events that followed. It happened so fast, and
yet, watching it play back through my internal lens after the fact, it
all seemed to unfold in horrifying slow motion.
I was drunkno doubt about itso when the tingling shot
through my hand and out my fingertips, at first I didnt put two and
two together. I remember thinking, holy shit, Im so plastered my
hands getting all sizzly and numb! How weird is that? Well,
except, imagine those thoughts sort of slurred and unintelligible,
coming from the brain of a teenage lush.
And then, one of the players carrying the golden football god
tripped, as if hed suddenly been zapped in the legs by a Taser and
no longer had control of his muscles. He teetered for a split second,
then went down, crashing into the guy next to him. Who also went
down, dragging to the ground the man next to him as he tried to
hold onto him for support. And then, because there were so many
people crushed together in the celebratory mob, it was like
watching the destruction of a huge pile of human dominos. The
football god, and his fellow player whod been supported on his
4

FAMILIAR

teammates shoulders, fell. Everyone around them went down.

Everybody. The whole mob. Crash! Bang! Boom! Leaving a
massive pile of bodies in a heap on the crispy autumn-brown grass.
The cheers of victory became shocked silence, the only sound
for several seconds the leaves, crunching and crackling as they
continued to blow in waves over the field.
Across the horrible scene, I saw my older sister Gillian glaring
at me from the other side of the football field, her expression filled
with knowing.
Oh crap. Oh. Freaking. CRAP!
Had I
But as the silence turned to moans and groans and swear words
and shrieks, as other people ran onto the field to help those whod
fallen, and the paramedics rushed straight to the golden god, who
now lay clutching his arm against his chest, his skin gone pale, and
his eyes closed in agony, I knew.
This was my doing.
I took a hard swallow and tried not to barfand not just from
flu and booze this time, but from a great big ol helping of guilt.
Guilt with a capital G. Because all those people lying on the field?
The beautiful new guy clutching his arm and moaning in pain? It
was my fault. I had caused it.
How, you ask?
Because Im a witch. Lower case w. Not the school mascot, but
an actual pure-blooded, born and raised Salem witch. There have
been Andrews in one form or another in Salem since the 1600s,
and ditto my moms family. A long and distinguished line on
both sides, my parents always said.
Distinguished. Yeah.
Except for me. Because the sad truth of the matter was, as far
5

FAMILIAR

as witches wentI had somehow fallen, like a brown smushy

apple, a little too far from the family tree. It wasnt that I was bad
as in evil. I was bad as in Well, if there were such a thing as a
magick hierarchy, much to my familys dismay Id be on the
bottom rung of the ladder under the label talentless hack. Or
maybe even lower than that, with a big sign taped to my forehead
that said, A danger to himself and others. My life was a history
of mishaps and accidents with magickthered been episodes of
exploding birthday cakes, holes blown in the backyard fence, toy
fire engines gone mad, cats turned purple, and my sister Samantha
waking up one morning with warts all over her face. And that was
just to name a few. Id finally stopped trying to master my power
for the safety of everyone, because it seemed the more I practiced,
the worse it got. Nowadays mostly I tried to pretend I didnt have
any powers at all. I did a pretty good job of keeping it under wraps,
too. Except, apparently, when I drank and then saw a gorgeous
hunk I couldnt live without.
Never, ever do magick drunk, my sister Gillian had once told
me. The same Gillian who glared at me from across the football
field. She was sixteen months older than me and always thought
she was so much smarter than I could ever be. She also thought she
was right about everything. In this case, she was. Just like driving,
one should never drink and cast a spell, especially when one
already has minimal control over his magick in the first place. Not
that Id even realized I was casting a spell, mind youit had just
happened. Id wanted the new guy so bad, wanted to touch him so
much, Id inadvertently tried to give a little magick boost to my
reach to make it come true. And that was the problemthat had
always been my problem. If I didnt keep a tight lid on it, magick
had a tendency to control me rather than the other way around. I
6

FAMILIAR

was hopeless, and my entire family knew it, much as they wished it
could be otherwise. So for most of my sixteen years, Id been the
living embodiment of Murphys Lawanything that could
possibly go wrongaround me, it usually did.
As for the Halloween incident, Id found out after the fact that
my beautiful golden football god was named David Jennings.
Unfortunately, thanks to myeralcohol induced indiscretion,
hed broken his arm in two places and been forced to sit on the
sideline the remainder of the season. In one glorious moment, Id
managed to crush the junior year football career of the guy I
secretly longed for, and destroyed the hopes of the entire town of
Salem that the football team could ever win the division
championship.
Way to go, Emrys!
The story of my life.
After that, for the rest of high school, I kept my distance and
chose to ogle my man from afar. I was too afraid of doing
something else insane to the poor guymaybe next time Id take
out one of his eyes or cause him to spontaneously burst into
flames. I didnt trust myself around him, for his own protection.
Okay, and maybe partly mine as well, because the truth was, I was
so not in his league. Geeks and gorgeous, athletic hunks didnt
mix. Not at our school anyway. And besides, I was pretty sure he
was straight. So he was my beautiful, unobtainable dream. And,
man, did I ever dream about him. I dont think Id ever had so
many wet dreams in my life as I did my junior and senior years.
My sister never gave me away for the Halloween fiasco, thank
the gods. Not even to my parents or my other sistersdid I
mention I have five sisters? One younger and four older. Sheesh,
no wonder I have issues. Anyway, Gilly kept her mouth shut, and
7

FAMILIAR

since many of the residents in Salem arent actually witches,

probably only a few people at the game that night ever suspected
magick has caused the great pile-up as it became known.
And so I flew under the radar as far as David Jennings was
concerned. I tried to stay out of his way, and tried to avoid thinking
about how much I still desperately wanted him.
Until high school graduation

FAMILIAR

CHAPTER 2
You know how high school graduation worksthe ceremony,
the hobnobbing with family whove come to wish you well, then,
once nightfall hits, its party time. And, as Ive already established,
in high school I might have sucked at magick and been shit at
sports, but I had become quite the ace at boozification. So when
someoneIm not even sure who she wasthrew a massive party
at her parents house on Salem Harbor, naturally a sizeable
segment of the graduating class, along with dozens of their closest
friends, showed up to partake. Especially with the news that the
parents had left town that very afternoon and the house had its own
pool, tennis court, and private waterfront.
I wondered, as I caught a ride with some friends, if David
might be at the party. Id seen him at graduation and hed looked
9

FAMILIAR

freaking amazing in a black suit, white shirt, and narrow black tie.
The sleek and sophisticated attire had been offset by a few days
worth of dark blond facial scruff, which had looked incredibly
sexy as opposed to unkempt like it might have on someone else.
Honestly, hed looked like he ought to be on the cover of some
mens magazine, and it had been all I could do not to openly drool
over him all through the graduation ceremony.
But the weird thing was, instead of his usual sunny, smiling,
confident self, hed seemed kind ofI dont knowthe word
vulnerable came to mind. Like something was bothering him, like
he was sad. I just knew that watching him go through the motions
of receiving his diploma, seeing him put on a smile when required
but knowing in my gut it wasnt his real smile, hurt me somehow.
Some seniors actually were sad to have high school finished, but
most of the people I knew were just glad it was over with and
couldnt wait to get the heck out of there. I had never pegged
David as the overly sentimental type, and I figured with his athletic
skill he was probably headed off to some fancy college on a
scholarship, which should be a good thing for him. But whatever
the future held for him, he didnt seem happy about it, and the ache
of sympathy I felt for him left me a little off kilter.
As if I could do anything about it to make him feel better.
Yeah, as if.
In a crowd the size of the one gathered at the party house, with
alcohol being consumed at the speed of light, no one could
possibly keep track of anyone. I didnt see David anywhere, but
there were so many people I could have been standing in the same
room with him and not known it. I lost my best bud Lee about an
hour into the rave when he went to find a bathroom and never
made it back. Hed told me earlier his goals for the night were to
10

FAMILIAR

get drunk and laid, preferably in that order. I had to assume hed
been successful. My best girl pal, Jeannie, abandoned me a halfhour after that when she and her newest girlfriend (and I do mean
new, since shed just met the black-haired, tattooed goth chick at
the party) took off because they were craving chocolate cake and
Spicy Ranch Doritos. I was pretty sure theyd been smoking weed
out on the boat dock and had the major munchies.
That left me on my own to wander. Which was okay. I might
have been a member of the geekinese, which is how my group of
friends and I laughingly referred to ourselveswe were the
computer nerd/video gamers, the artsy-fartsy painters and poets,
the slackers, the goth and/or pagan woo-woo types, or, more often,
some bits and parts of all of the abovebut I was generally
tolerated by most of the other student cliques, even if I was
somewhat invisible to them. No one gave me any shit, anyway, and
I was free to come and go as I pleased, with a few people I knew
waving to say hi or briefly dragging me into their conversations or
their dances, while others pressed more cups of beer into my
waiting hands.
As the night wore on, some people left for other parties or to go
find hotel rooms with their hook-ups, but there were still a lot of
hangers-on, myself included, and the level of drunken revelry had
died out a bit, going from the loud, booming, everyones dancing
and screaming phase to the quieter, serious drinking phase, or for
some, if I move too much Im going to ralph phase. I, myself,
had managed to keep a bit of restraint, and I wasnt completely
shitfaced. Just pleasantly buzzed. Id spent an hour having a really
deep conversation with an old elementary school friend about if
aliens and witches were at war, who would win. He thought aliens.
Needless to say, my money was on the witches.
11

FAMILIAR

Around midnight, I found myself dragged into a game of truth

or dare. Jeannie and her new girlfriend, Jean, (yeah, like that
wasnt going to get confusing) were back, and they and several
others were drinking peppermint schnapps out on the beach. When
it came to my turn, I wanted to choose truth because I wasnt really
the adventurous type, and the dare option had gotten me burned
in the past. But Jeannie basically shamed me into saying dare
with a few well-placed taunts.
Okay, fine, I told her. I was still buzzed enough I was
mellow and willing to play along. Hit me with your best.
Hmm She tapped her long, blue-painted fingernail against
her lips. It exactly matched the current color of her short, spiky
hair and the blue and yellow striped knee socks she was wearing
with her black miniskirt. Id told her earlier she looked like a
tropical fish. Shed given me her standard response to my
smartassednessshed flipped me the bird.
Okay, Ive got it, she said. See that house down the shore,
not the one next to us, but the one way down there, on the big lot,
like a quarter of a mile or half-mile or whatever, the one far away.
Distances were clearly not her strongpoint when shed been
drinking and smoking. Thankfully she pointed, giving me a general
idea. See it? The one with no lights on around it, and thats all
overgrown?
Maybe. Sort of. I squinted, trying to make it out, and could
see a large, particularly dark area where a house with no lights on
might be. Its dark down there. How the hell can you tell its
overgrown?
Annabeth said
Whos Annabeth? I interrupted.
Shes the girls whose house youre at right now, dumb ass!
12

FAMILIAR

She kicked my shin. How could you be here and not know that?
She didnt give me a chance to answer before she continued.
Anywayshe rolled her eyesshe said that house has been
abandoned for a while and it might be haunted. Since youre the
witch dude, Ive decided you need to go down there and check it
out. Go inside and scare away the ghosts with your witchy ju-ju.
Okay, let me clarify something. See, the deal is, my friends at
school didnt know I was actually a magick-wielding witch, or that
my family members all were, tooits not like I ever intentionally
used my magick around my friends. I liked them too much to risk
their lives, for one thing. Plus, theres an unwritten rule amongst
the old-school Salem witches that, for the most part, we keep our
powers secret from the non-magick types. Even three hundred and
twenty years later, not everyones forgotten what had made our
town famous, or infamous as the case may be. There were those
who would not deal well with the knowledge that real witchcraft
was still alive and well in Salem.
So, my friends didnt know the truth. They called me witch
dude simply because my family ran one of the witch-themed
stores on Derby Street. The store was called Eye of Newt, and my
parents sold all the usual metaphysical stuffherbs, incense,
books, Wiccan and pagan ritual supplies, along with the requisite
Salem witch souvenirs. There were a dozen or more of these types
of stores in downtown Salem, most of them catering to the tourist
trade. Some were run by regular folk just looking to make a buck
or have some funthey often dressed up and played the part, but it
was all for show. Some stores, however, were owned by bona fide
witcheseither the neo-pagan Wiccan variety or the ones who
could trace their lineage back hundreds of years. All the witches,
new and old, could do magick of some sort. The tourists and non13

FAMILIAR

witches in town (like most of my friends), however, often didnt

know the difference between the real and the pretendto
them it was all just fluffy bunny hocus pocus and fairy tales
cashing in on the tragic historical event that had put our town on
the map. So I was witch dude in fun, not because anyone truly
expected me to do anything miraculous.
Im not going down there to some empty house in the dead of
night and break into it! I protested. Do you want me to get
arrested?
Chicken shit.
Am not.
Are so. All you have to do is take a walk down the beach, find
a way inside, bring me something you found there so I know you
really did it, and then come back. Easy peasy.
Are you crazy? I dont even have a flashlight. Its pitch black
down there.
Chicken shit.
You already said that.
Cause its true. Dont be a wuss, Emrys. And use your cell
phone as a light.
Cant. The batterys dead. I forgot to charge it last night.
Oh for Gods sake. Fine, then youll have to deal with the
dark. What, are you afraid of the boogieman? she teased. Just
go!
Her girlfriend giggled, and the handful of other people in the
small group started chanting, Go, go, go, go!
You guys are drunk, stoned, and insane, I said, giving them
all, but especially Jeannie, my best evil glare.
Go on, ya big baby! Jeannie stood on wobbly legs, smelling
like peppermint and weed, and dragged me to my feet. Then she
14

FAMILIAR

gave me a shove. Get to it, witch boy! If you dont go, Im telling
everyone here about that time freshman year when you
Dont you dare! I knew what she was about to say and that
was the last thing I needed, to have Jeannie blurt out one of my
deepest darkest moments of humiliation in my young teenage life.
Youre such a shameless bitch. I cant believe youd even
threaten me with that.
She grinned, knowing I said it out of equal parts irritation and
affection. And youre such a wimpy homo.
Lesbo harpy.
Chicken shit.
Geez, cant you come up with something else? That ones
getting old.
Then quit whining and prove me wrong. Youre eighteen
years old. An adult. So act like one and go! She shoved me again.
Get!
Fine, I grumbled. But if I get arrested, youre bailing me out
and telling the cops it was all your fault.
You whine like a little old lady, Emrys. Just go! Id known
her since second grade, which meant I recognized the real
annoyance in her voice. She always hated it when I was a stick in
the mud, as she called me.
So I went. I wasnt happy about it, but obviously Id get no
peace until I did. I was kind of hoping maybe, if I got far enough
down the beach, it would be so dark they wouldnt notice if I
slipped away before I ever got to the house. But I knew that plan
was out when I heard Jeannie holler, Yoo-hoo! Were watching
you!
Great.
Once I got far enough away from them so I couldnt hear their
15

FAMILIAR

talk and laughter, though, I decided maybe it wasnt so bad after

all. It was a beautiful early summer night, not yet muggy as it
would get later in the summer, with a cool breeze blowing off the
harbor, and the usual damp tang of salt in the air. I pulled the hood
of my sweatshirt up over my head against the slight chill, more out
of comfortable habit than because I was really cold. Waves lapped
softly against the sand and rock, and even the dark was okay. It
was a new moonjust the tiniest of crescents hung low on the
horizon, giving out a sliver of light that allowed me to walk
without tripping but not much more. Having grown up in a
magickal family, I was aware that the new moon was a time of new
beginnings and fresh starts, so, heymaybe somewhere down the
beach, in the mysterious haunted house, Id find the ghost of my
dreams, a trunk full of pirate gold, and a talisman that would
miraculously cure my magick clusterfuckery. Woo hoo!
I inhaled deeply of the familiar moist air and felt a new spring
in my step. My head felt clearer than it had all night and I was
actually even laughing a little as I approached the house.
I had to climb up a slope from the water to get to the it. It was
surrounded by trees, and did feel kind of isolatedor maybe it just
seemed that way because it was so dark. It wasnt a huge place like
the one Id just partied at, but as far as waterfront New England
homes went, it wasnt a slouch either. In the tiny bit of moonlight,
I could just make out the bare bones shape of it, and it looked like
it had been built in the Victorian eclectic style, maybe in the early
1900s. It sat at an angle on the lot, had a broad, covered,
wraparound porch facing the harbor, a rambling shape, a large
turret on one end, and several balconies jutting out from the upper
stories. It probably sounds impressive that I would be able to
identify the architectural style, but the only reason I knew it was
16

FAMILIAR

because my summer job for the past few years, and again this
summer, was as a walking tour guide in historic Salem, and part of
the shtick was explaining the different types of buildings.
Jeannie had been rightthe house was pitch black inside, and
looked like it hadnt been maintained in a long while. In the
daytime it probably just looked kind of sad and run-down. But at
night, it wasnt a far stretch of the imagination to think it could be
haunted.
I opened the iron gate in the fence that surrounded the
neglected yard, crossed the broad expanse, and started up the steep
but wide porch steps. The steps creaked and moaned under my
every footfall, and felt a little spongy, like the wood was bad. As I
tried to stay upright and not fall on my face in the dark, my earlier
reservations returned with a little chilly chaser up my spine.
I paused and looked back up the beach from where Id come,
and could see the lights at the party house glimmering in the night.
What I didnt see, however, were any forms that might be Jeannie
and the others down by the water where Id left them. Granted, I
was pretty far away, but I should be able to see something if they
were still there. Geez, after all her haranguing, had Jeannie bailed?
Then I shook my head. Knowing hershe probably had. But even
if she had, I knew shed still expect me to complete my mission or
shed give me hell. It wasnt too late for me to walk away from
this, though. It really was dark enough here that I could probably
slink off, cut across the large lot to the other side of the house and
go back to the party from the non-harbor side without them being
any wiser, or even find a ride to Lees where Id planned to crash
tonight. Id take shit from Jeannie about it later, but it would be
better than having the cops show up and arrest me.
Then I kind of snorted, because why in the hell would the cops
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FAMILIAR

be out at this exact location at midnight or twelve-thirty or

whatever it was now? They wouldnt be. Probably. That was
ridiculous.
Unless someone saw me and called them. Or they were
patrolling nearby because of the party down the way.
Oh for Petes sake, man up, Emrys! Its a just a house and who
could possibly have seen you coming up the dark beach?
I was still just tipsy enough to err on the side of being dumb. I
decided Id walk straight to the front door, try the knobwhich I
knew would be locked. Then Id peek in a couple of those big
windows that looked out over the porch. I wouldnt be able to see a
thing because it was like a giant black hole inside, but at least then
I could tell Jeannie, with all honesty, that Id tried. Better that than
listen to her call me a wimp for the next three months since I
worked with her and would be seeing her every day. Once Id
taken a quick look in the windows, Id walk back down these
stupid noisy steps and get the heck out of here. Two minutes, tops.
Thats all it would take.
Id just screwed up my courage to initiate my plan, and was
about to take a step toward the door when I heard a quiet creak
from somewhere nearby.
What? Was that me, or something else?
I froze with my foot suspended in air, mid-step. My heart kind
of leapt and, without warning, I could hear it pounding loudly in
my eardrums. I found myself irrationally terrified, while at the
same time having to fight back a rush of hysterical laughter
because I suddenly imagined how I must look, with one foot
dangling in the air like one of those ugly pink flamingoes standing
on one leg that people put in their yards. I was, I realized, wearing
a faded red hoodie that could almost pass as pink in the dark.
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Great, I was going to get ghosted while I looked like some Miami
senior citizens lawn dcor.
Get a grip! Old houses creak. Its probably nothing.
Sure. Nothing. No problem.
I waited for several seconds and heard no other unexpected
sounds, so I quietly set my foot back down. My heart was still
racing, though, and I felt a strange quivering in my stomach.
The sudden, powerful urge to use magick hit me. Oh, no, no,
no. That would be a very bad idea. Besides, I had no clue what I
would doshoot lightning bolts at the invisible creaking sound?
Create a light in the palm of my hand so I could freaking see? Cast
a net of white protective light around myself? Id seen my family
do variations on those things from time to timeokay, well maybe
not the lightning bolt thing. Id just finished rereading some of my
old Thor comic books this past week, where he could control the
weather with his mystical hammer Mjolnir, so thats probably
where that delusion was coming from. Still, me do any kind of
magick, even the simplest stuff? I snorted softly. Id probably blow
up the house or something.
And, yet, the urge was still there. I couldnt quite banish it.
Some self-protective instinct, I guess.
When I heard another creak, I knew damn good and well I
hadnt made it.
Run! my nagging inner voice said. Get out of here now and
dont be a dumb ass!
But, like some kind of freak, I was frozen in place, one sweaty
hand tightly clutching the porch railing. I looked to the left, looked
to the right, left again, right againand saw nothing but darkness
and shadows.
Now. Go now!
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FAMILIAR

But then another creeeaaak, or maybe it was a squeeeeaaak,

sounded. This one louder and longer. And there was no mistaking
what it was this time. A footstep on the old, worn boards of the
porch.
Since I was standing still, that could only mean one thing
Oh crap!

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FAMILIAR

CHAPTER 3
What happened next was a blur of panic and action.
At the same time I heard another squeaking footfall, I saw a
shadowy figure coming around the corner of the house where the
porch wrapped to the south side.
I jumped, practically out of my skin. Which caused the magick
Id been trying to hold back to escape. I didnt mean for it to, it just
didprobably from the adrenaline rush of being startled. I had my
hand out and didnt even remembering raising it, or pointing my
fingers, or channeling any power, or even thinking of any spells or
incantations. I guess I just wanted whatever was coming toward
me to stop, and that intention manifested inwellmagick.
I felt a tingling rush through my hand and fingertips, then a
loud cracking noise split the night air, like wood splintering. Lots
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FAMILIAR

of wood splintering. The porch shuddered beneath my feet. Then I

heard a crash, a loud, surprised grunt, and more wood splintering.
That was followed by a bang, and a yelped, What the hell?
Oh shit, oh shit! My heart pounding like a drum in the
marching band, I stood there in shock, wondering what Id done.
And to whom. The shadowy figure had justdisappeared. It had
been there one second, and then, boom, gone from sight.
I heard scrambling noises, and then more wood cracking and
crashing, followed by several colorful curses.
Oh double shit. I was pretty sure ghosts wouldnt be making
that much noise on the physical plane, nor would they be spouting
swear words in a voice that sounded vaguely familiar.
Shaking myself out of my stupor, I crept toward the ruckus.
Goddess, what had I done this time? I sure hoped whoever was
over there wasnt badly hurt. With my luck, it would probably be
one of those cops Id been worried about.
Hello? I called, cautiously. Are you okay?
Stay back, the voice ordered, sounding a little muffled. The
porch floor just collapsed where I was standing.
So thats what Id done. Guilt hit me in the gut as it always did
when I had one of my mishaps. At this point, I just hoped the guy,
whoever he was, was okay. I mean, as long as he wasnt a ghost.
Okay, clearly I was still feeling slightly hysterical.
I forced myself to rein in the crazy thoughts and do something
useful. Umcan I help you? Are you all right? I asked. I
dropped to my knees and eased forward, feeling with my hands for
where, apparently, the porch had disappeared, so I didnt fall in as
well.
YeahI thinkyeah. There was that familiar voice again. I
couldnt place it, though. Im just kinda stuck. Every time I try to
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FAMILIAR

get a grip on the edge of this hole to pull myself out His words
were cut off by the sound of more wood cracking and crashing,
along with another human-sounding grunt. more of it breaks
and falls in, he finished, sounding disheartened.
II cant see very well, I called. Where are you? I was
still trying to crawl across the shaky porch toward the sound of his
voice.
Here, let me get out my phone I heard a rustling sound,
and then a soft blue-white light glowed in front of me.
Holy shit! I murmured, staring wide-eyed at the mess Id
made as the dim light from a smartphone screen shone out of the
gaping hole in the porch. The hole had to have been six feet across,
and I could see an arm sticking up out of it, holding the phone up.
Which meant whoever was down in that hole, was in over his head,
literally. Which, I guess, made sense. Id climbed several steps to
get up to the porch, so the porch floor had to be a good six or seven
feet above the ground. And now, someone was stuck down there
because of me.
I swallowed hard. Oh, man, I am so sorry, I murmured,
creeping closer.
What are you sorry for? Its an old porch with rotten wood,
and you werent even near me when it happened. The voice
sounded fairly good-natured, which meant the guy was unaware I
and my lame-ass magick had been the cause of his fall.
Are you sure youre okay? What can I do? I asked.
Im fine, a couple of scrapes is all. But maybe, if you could lie
on your stomach and sort of shimmy closer, then grab my hands
and pull, I can stand on some of these boards down here and
between the two of us I can get out without causing any more stuff
to cave in on me.
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FAMILIAR

OkayIll try. I wasnt the strongest guy evermostly I was

lanky on the verge of being thinbut I did haul boxes of
merchandise for my parents at the store on occasion, and I did lots
of walking for my job, which kept me moderately in shape, so I
figured I should be able to keep a grip on whoever was down there
and help get him out.
I did as he asked and sort of commando crawled on my belly
until my fingertips were at the edge of the hole. The boards
groaned under me and I wasnt convinced they werent going to
give way and dump me into the rubble, too, but geez, I had to try.
This was my fault, after all.
As I eased closer and my head cleared the edge of the hole, all I
could see was the light of the smartphone glaring in my eyes,
blinding me. Gah! I squinted and turned my head to the side.
As I did, I heard a surprised, husky voice say, Emrys?
Say what? This was somebody I knew? I wasnt sure if that
was good thing or a bad thing.
Umyeah. Who
Oh, sorry. The light turned away from me and shone instead
onto the face of the person in the hole. It took a second for my
brain and eyes to adjust, and then
Holy shit, I whispered, staring. You I Somehow,
stringing semi-intelligent words together just wasnt happening for
me as I realized who, once again, Id cursed with my useless, shitty
magick.
Its David, the golden god said. David Jennings.
I I know who you are, I murmured, stuck somewhere
between tongue-tied and numb with shock.
And then he smiled at me and something inside my head
explodedall I could see was golden light, as bright as sunshine,
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FAMILIAR

searing through me in a sort of painful but giddy way.

I know who you are, too, he said softly, still smiling, and
there was something warm in his gaze that made my stomach do a
slow, quivering somersault. But, no, I knew I wasnt reading it
right. I was seeing what I hoped, dreamed ofa fantasy. Not
reality. Earth to Emrys. Come back to the real world now.
Ahyouum
His smile grew kind of lopsided and, if possible, even more
sweet and sexy. You want to grab my hands, he said.
Umyeah. Yeah. I shook my head to clear out the fuzzy,
dreamy, sunshiny cobwebs.
Im going to need both hands to get out of here, so Im going
turn my phone off and stick it back in my pocket, which is gonna
leave us in the dark again. But hopefully we can do this by feel.
By feel? I almost groaned since that conjured up totally
inappropriate pictures of things I probably shouldnt be thinking
about.
Stop! my inner nag scolded. Hes out of your league, not to
mention straight, just like always. Remember? You do remember
that, right?
Wow, that put an instant damper on my giddiness like nothing
else could have.
But when David reached up and grabbed my hands, locking his
fingers around my wrists, a new jolt of longing shot through me.
His hands were warm and strong and
Dont go there, dummy! Concentrate.
See, this is what being around him always did to me. Its why
Id done my best to stay away from him. My mind would start
spinning, my body would start wanting, and then, whammo,
trouble struck.
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FAMILIAR

Just like clockwork, as if Id willed it to happen (Crap, maybe I

did, just by thinking itit certainly wouldnt be the first time, and
I did maybe feel a slight tingle of magick in my body.) the moment
he said, Ready, pull! and started trying to push himself up while
I pulled back, the porch underneath me gave way. There was
nothing graceful or gradual about it either. One second I was on
the porch, the next, in a crash of broken wood, whump! I
bellyflopped into the hole and landed hard. Hard enough it
knocked the breath out of me and, for a few seconds, all I could
think about was getting air into my lungs and nothing else
mattered.
But then I felt a pair of hands smoothing up and down my back,
and an urgent voice near my ear saying, Emrys? Are you okay?
I was still sucking for air and couldnt answer. Agh, Goddess, it
hurt, and I was starting to get a little panicky. Finally, though,
finally I managed to get a full breath in and it felt like heaven.
Then a second breath, even more heaven.
When I thought I might actually survive, I lifted my head and
blinked and
Oh. Oh!
Ahh um I stammered. Again I couldnt get any words to
fit together and was left making unintelligible noises.
God, are you okay? Davids voice in the damp, earthy
darkness sounded even more concerned now. Can you talk?
Please tell me youre okay! He actually sounded a little desperate.
I ah guh Uh-huh I finally managed. How did I tell
him my lack of speech wasnt so much to do with the breath being
knocked out of me anymore as it was the fact I had fallen directly
on top of him. He lay on his back and Iholy crap. I lay stretched
out like a lump on top of him, chest to chest, and, uh, yeah,
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FAMILIAR

everything else. We were both wearing shorts, I discovered,

because I felt bare, hairy skin against the lower part of my thighs
and calves. And the heatand the Whoa. Did he Was that
Emrys, talk to me. Say something. Please. He patted my head
as if searching for my face, and in the process eased the hood off
my head. His voice had the faintest quaver to it. He was truly
worried about me. Wow.
I
What is it? he encouraged. One of his hands moved to cup
my cheek, and it felt again, the only word I could come up with
was wow!
Um I dragged in another deep breath. Finally, haltingly, I
said the only thing that came to my addled brain. Ooops.
It was dead quiet for several heartbeats. And then, I felt his
chest begin to shake, and a second after that, his warm, relieved
laughter tumbled out around me.
Ooops? he said. Im worried youre really hurt and all you
can say is, Ooops?
By this time I was smiling too. Couldnt help myself. Yeah,
well I was still a little bit short of breath, not to mention totally
dazed by the fact I was lying on top of David Jennings. I guess
what I probably should say is, sorry I ruined the escape plan?
He groaned. I was a little more worried youd skewered
yourself on a piece of wood or something than about the plan.
Okay, wellerIm also sorry I crashed on top of you.
Thisthis cant be comfortable for you. Did I hurt you?
He grew quiet again, really quiet, but I felt his breath, warm
and faintly beer scented, against my face. He shifted ever-soslightly beneath me and, oh man, no, I hadnt imagined that hard
press against my groin earlier. I felt like Id been knocked
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FAMILIAR

breathless all over again, but for a very different reason this time.
Im not hurt. And would it be totally wrong of me to say Im
not sorry you fell on me, and Im more comfortable than you might
guess? His voice had gone all husky again, and the hard ridge
pressing into my groin seemed to grow even firmer.
Youwha I found myself speechless once more. This
wasnt possible. Couldnt, under any circumstances, be possible. I
was dreaming this. I was not lying on top of the guy Id been
having wet dreams about since that blustery October night when
Id first seen him, the guy I was certain was straight and totally
unaware of my existence, and he wasnt sporting an erection
against my own quickly burgeoning one, and he surely wasnt
telling me he was glad Id fallen on top of him. No, couldnt be.
Emrys? I heard uncertainly in his tone now, and for some
reason that rattled me.
What was he uncertain about? That hed told me too much?
That I might not like what hed said? That I might not want him?
Okay, that last thought kind of shocked me, but was that what he
was getting at? If so, wow, I hadnt seen that coming either. This
golden god might actually want me and was afraid I didnt want
him back? What world was this? Cause it certainly wasnt the one
Id been living in before now, where he was the confident,
untouchable hunk and I was the guy with the hopeless nerd crush,
watching him from a distance.
I should let you up he said, his hold on me loosening.
No!
Oh, crap, had I just shouted that? Smooth. Real smooth, Emrys.
He froze, and I swear I could feel him staring at me. I could
feel a bunch of other things, too. It was dark as pitch down here in
the rubble under the porch. I couldnt see anything, but I could
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FAMILIAR

definitely feel. The way his arms stopped their movement away
from me and slowly came back to wrap around my waist. All that
hard length of athletic body beneath me. The rising and falling of
his chest. And the bulge of his boner pressed against mine and how
good it felt when I shifted a little, creating a miniature jolt of
friction that made us both catch our breath. Oh, I could feel it all.
And I didnt want to stop feeling it. Ever.
Um sorry, that shout was awkward, I mumbled. What I
meant to say, in a more reasonable tone, was no, I I dont
really want you to let me get up.
Could that possibly have sounded any more lame? Gah! I felt
my face burning and was glad he couldnt see it. What I mean
is well I Im just kind of I thought you were Im
You Oh geez, just shoot me now, I moaned. I sound like a
total moron.
No, you dont. I could hear a smile, maybe even a hint of a
laugh, in his voice now instead of the earlier uncertainty. Im
pretty sure I get where youre going. This time he was the one
who shifted just a little, causing another shimmer of oh hell
yeah! down south.
So, I should probably stop babbling and just shut up then, I
mumbled breathlessly, feeling all hot and clenchy in my chest and
low in my belly.
Yeah. His voice was husky and sexy andwow, really close
now. Oh man, I felt his warm breath against my lips. Was he
Are you gonna
Oh yeah, he whispered. And then he kissed me.

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FAMILIAR

CHAPTER 4
I had kissed, and been kissed by, plenty of guys before, but this
was whew. I mean whew! This was on another scale
exponentially.
After all, David was the dream guy Id longed for for-frickingever. And holy crap, for all my certainty during school that he was
straightI mean, Id never seen him show any obvious nonplatonic interest in guysthere was no making that mistake ever
again. The hard-on gave him away, but he also didnt remotely kiss
like a straight guy. How do I know? WellI confess I have a
couple of straight boy encounters in my past. One on a dare from
guess who? The dare guy had been willing. Ish. The other,
however, had been a total, catastrophic eff-up on my part freshman
yeara case of me misreading signals in a big wayand lets just
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FAMILIAR

say, it hadnt gone well. The incident Jeannie had threatened to tell
the others about down on the beach? Yeah, that was it.
In any case, David Jennings did not kiss like a straight guy by
any stretch of the imagination. In fact, he pretty much kissed me
like he was starving. Like hed been starving for a long time and I
was the best damn thing hed ever tasted. He was all heat and
tongue and soft moans that just made me more crazy than I already
was. I moaned, too, and found myself clutching the back of his
head, sliding my fingers through his short blond hair, wanting to
get as close as I could to him. Which was kind of funny, since I
was sprawled on top of him and Im not sure you could have
wedged a pin between us, we were pressed together so tightly.
This was every fantasy Id had about him come true. I wanted
him like Id never wanted anyone, but at the same time I was still a
little dazed that this was happening at all. I kept expecting to wake
up and discover Id passed out on someones floor because Id
been more plowed than I thought. Id be lying in a pool of my own
drool and realize this was all just a fabulous drunken dream.
And let me tell you, if it was a dream, it was wicked
spectacular.
He tasted faintly of beer, and I knew I probably did, too, but I
didnt mind in the least. To me it was just hot. All of it. Like how
his beardy scruff felt sandpapery on my face as we kissed. How his
hands slipped beneath my hoodie and T-shirt to caress my lower
back. The way his warm, callused palms on my bare skin caused a
whole new rippling surge of need in me. So. Totally. Hot. I
moaned softly into his mouth, and he lapped it up and swallowed
it. And then there was the not-so-subtle way we were rubbing off
against each other. Even with two layers of clothing between us,
the sensation was sizzling and sharp, like an electric current, but
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FAMILIAR

also warm and dizzy and kind of fuzzy, like being happy drunk.
And still I couldnt get enough to him. Still I wanted more.
Was there such a thing as wanting something or someone too
much? Could you die of want? Was there any possible way I could
get closer to him, maybe just crawl up inside him and
Jesus! Shit! Davids shout yanked me out of my happy la-la
land as he scrambled to his feet and jerked me to mine along with
him.
Huh? I was still dizzy and tingling all over from what had
been happening between us, and I wasnt happy to have it
interrupted. I couldnt wrap my mind around how wed gotten
from where we were, to standing here with him doing some kind of
crazy dance as he yanked out his phone again and shone the light
toward our feet. What? I demanded.
Something crawled over my legs!
Somethinglikewhat kind of something? I was still
struggling with being forced back to reality.
Like something big.
Okay, that got my attention. Big like giant spider big, snake
big, rat big? I found myself shuffling my feet now like he was and
staring downward.
I dont know. Just fricking big. Weve gotta get out of here.
Yes. Yes, please. I hated to admit I was wuss, and I would never
have said it, even under duress, to any of my friends, and certainly
not to David, but I had issues with creepy crawly slithery things.
Id had a run-in with a deep, dark window well full of beasties
when I was a kid. It had scarred me for life.
Here, he said, dragging me by the arm and pushing me
toward the gaping edge of the porch that was closest to the house.
Lets try to get out here. The floor boards might be more stable
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FAMILIAR

where its attached to the main wall.

Is there another way without having to climb up through the
hole? I mean, maybe we could crawl under the porch and theres
just lattice or something around the outside. We could find an
opening, or kick the lattice or boards or whatever out of the way.
I dont trust it to hold up if we go banging around under here
to find an exit. The whole porch might come down on top of us.
Plus, God knows what else is down here besides us. I dont really
want to be fumbling around with only a dim light to see by, do
you?
Creepy crawly nasties. Right. Uh, no, not so much.
Thats why we need to try to climb up here. He bent over and
set his phone down on the ground so the light was kinda-sorta
shining on us, then cupped his hands. Step here and let me give
you a boost up, and if this part of the flooring next to the house
will hold your weight, then well worry about me.
It never occurred to me to argue. The sooner I got away from
crawling things in the dark, the happier Id be. I gingerly placed
my sneaker-clad foot into his locked palms and rested a hand on
his shoulder to steady myself.
Ready? he asked.
Yeah.
Just be careful. If the floorboards feel unstable at all, stop. I
dont want you to fall again and get hurt.
You just dont want me to crash down and end up on top of
you again, I teased. Okay, maybe I was also fishing, just a little,
for reassurance that hed meant what he said earlier, about being
glad Id fallen on him. I kept having visions of him suddenly
coming to his senses and realizing hed been making out with me,
Emrys Andrews, and then hed say, What in the hell was I
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FAMILIAR

thinking?
He didnt respond right away, instead, grunting slightly as he
boosted me upward and I scrabbled for a handhold on the porch.
However, as soon as I got a grip and started to drag myself slowly
up and forward, able to support some of my own weight, one of his
hands, no longer needed under my foot, slid upward. I hissed in a
breath as it caressed along my bare calf, the back of my knee, then
moved inward and under my cargo shorts and boxers to my inner
thigh. He gave my thigh a warm, slow squeeze and said, Emrys,
once were out of here, you can be on top, bottom, or any other
position you want.
Holy shit!
I almost fell right back into the hole at the heated words. As it
was, I might have gasped a little, because his hand squeezed again,
a slow, groping kind of squeeze, and he chuckled.
Youare making itreally hardto concentrate, I managed
to groan.
Am I? He didnt sound the least bit sorry. He squeezed again,
and his hand went higher, causing his fingertips to brush against
the base of my scrotum.
This time my groan was louder, and my body shuddered in
response. He was trying to kill us for sure.
I said as much, in a halting, breathless murmur, but it didnt
stop him from continuing to take advantage of his position below
me, with easy access up my loose shorts. For several heartbeats I
couldnt even move, because his roaming hand was all I could
focus on. Finally, though, his other hand moved to my butt. On the
outside of my shorts, thank heavens, or I really would have lost it
and that would have been all she wrote. But instead of groping
okay, maybe he groped a littlehe used it to give me one final
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FAMILIAR

push and help lever me over the edge of the hole.

I landed in a heap on the porch, practically panting I was so
turned on. Damn him. I eased myself up, trying to be careful not to
fall through the old wood or break anything else, and glared at him.
Of course it was still dark, so he couldnt see me glaring. And it
wasnt like I really meant it anyway. It was more like a, Damn
you! Now get up here and do it some more glare.
He may not have been able to see me, but I swear I could feel
him smiling, as if he knew exactly what I was thinking.
You doing okay up there? he asked.
What do you think? I retorted. Yeah, I was up safely, and the
porch next to the house seemed to be holding. But I practically had
blue balls I was so hard, and there wasnt a damn thing I could do
about it right now.
He laughed.
Pervert, I said.
Yeah, and dont even try to tell me you dont like it.
I smiled. Okay, so I was busted. All right Freddy Fast Hands,
give em here and let me try again to pull you out of there.
He snickered at my comment. But he grabbed up his phone,
turned it off, and presumably put it away. Then he reached up and
we both felt around until our hands connected. His fingers brushed
over mine, causing a whole new squiggle of heat to settle in my
balls, but the contact also gave me a strange warm tug in my chest.
With him sort of half-climbing his way upward on some of the
rubble that had fallen, and me sitting on the solid patch of porch
with my back braced against the house, I pulled and he pushed, and
slowly but surely, with much sweating, a few slips, and several
swear words, he was finally out.
And this time it was he who ended up on top. Sort of. My final
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FAMILIAR

pull had yanked him the last bit of the way over the edge, and
because Id had my knees up with my feet braced on the porch and
my hands between them pulling him, the last tug landed him right
between my spread legs. We both made an oomph sound at the
impact. I was still mostly sitting up, but kind of reclined back
against the house, so it wasnt like he was lying fully on top of me
like I had been on him under the porch, but his face had ended up
pressed against my stomach, only inches above my crotch.
Honey, Im home, he said, breaking the momentary awkward
silence that had hit us.
That made us both laugh.
David sat up and fished his phone out of his pocket to give us
some light. Lets get off this porch before we end up right back
down under it again. He rose, choosing his footing carefully, then
offered me a hand. I grabbed it and let him pull me up.
He didnt let go of my hand as we eased our way around the
shockingly big chasm wed made.
I cant believe someone didnt hear all this and come to
investigate, I said.
He shrugged. Theres nobody around here. Its a big lot with
no other houses close to it. Plus, its the middle of the night, so its
not like anyones going to be passing by or something.
I didnt tell him that my so-called friend Jeannie should have
come to check on me by now since I wasnt back from the little
mission shed sent me on. However, since shed clearly abandoned
me, no doubt finding her favorite vicesalcohol, pot, and her new
girl of the momentever so much more appealing than I, there
was no point in mentioning it. Besides, I was kind of digging the
fact that for the first time ever, I had David Jennings all to myself.
Even better, he not only knew I existed, but hed kissed me and felt
36

FAMILIAR

me up. If Jeannie did show up at this point, Id tell her to take a

damn hike.
Id expected David to head toward the steps, but instead he led
me farther down the porch, to where it wrapped around to the other
side of the house. To where, I realized, hed been coming from
when my crazy-assed magick had gone haywire.
Where are we going? I asked.
Ill show you.
At the end of the porch, on this quiet side of the house, he led
me to another set of porch steps I hadnt been able to see from the
front. They were much narrower and went down to an overgrown
path lined with tallhigher than our headsbushes that smelled
like roses and honeysuckle. A few yards along, the path curved
left, but David didnt continue following it. Instead, he pulled me
through a narrow opening in the hedge. I found myself surrounded
by leafy greenery on one side, and the wall of the house on the
other. I almost made a smart-ass comment about him wanting to
make out in the bushes, but before I could even open my mouth, he
shone the light on a wrought iron trellis-like ladder on the side of
the house that led up. He turned to smile at me, then said, Come
on.
You want me to climb that rickety thing, in the dark? How is
this any better than the rotting porch?
I caught another quick smile with a flash of teeth. Trust me.
Its perfectly safe. Ive been climbing it for months.
Okay, now he had me curious. I wondered why hed been
coming here for months. Id just assumed he happened to be
walking by and had come to investigate when he heard me on the
loud, creaky steps earlier.
He started climbing the trellis/ladder, and I followed, feeling
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my way carefully, not wanting to break my neck in spite of what

hed said about it being safe. He shone the light downward, so I
could see, while he had apparently made the climb so many times
he didnt need any illumination, and could do it while juggling a
phone in one hand. Gee, maybe he could fly, too.
After the first few rungs, though, I had to admit the iron did
feel pretty sturdy.
I was about ten or twelve feet off the ground when I saw him
disappear. Then he was leaning out over a railing several feet
above me, facing me and looking down, still holding the light so I
could see the ladder.
Youre almost here.
When I got to him, he reached out to steady me as I clambered
over a waist-high wrought iron railing and onto, I realized, one of
the many balconies of the house.
See, you survived, he said with a smile. He turned off his
phone once more, leaving us in the dark. But it didnt matter,
because he wound his fingers through mine, and I followed him,
since he seemed to know where he was going.
He led me to the end of the short balcony.
Wow, I said, leaning against the railing. Even as dark as it
was tonight, the balcony offered an amazing view of Salem
Harbor. From up here I could not only see the silver crescent moon
hanging in the obsidian sky, but the glittering lights of the houses
in Marblehead across the harbor.
The warmth from Davids body closed in behind me until my
backside was flush against his front, and he rested one of his hands
on the railing next to mine. It felt good to be so close to him, and I
had a sudden, strange sense of dj vu, as if wed been here in this
exact spot before, with him standing behind me as we looked out
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over the water. Which was weird, since until a half hour ago, I
would never even have imagined this could happen.
My sister Morgan, the second to the oldest of my siblings,
would probably say David and I knew each other in a past life and
thats why this felt so familiar. She believed that when a person
experienced dj vu, those moments were usually hints at former
lives. According to her, if people were important to each other,
their souls sometimes met again and again over the course of many
lifetimes.
Okay, maybe I was reaching, but it sounded nice and I admit I
liked the idea that maybe David and I were important to each other
and wed known one another in the past. Of course, if we had been
together before and were meant to be together again now, it didnt
explain why my magick seemed determined to wreak havoc on the
poor guy.
You should see the view when the moons brighter, when its
full, he said, his mouth near my ear, which caused a warm shiver
to race through me. Thats when its the prettiest.
How do you know about this place? You said youd been
coming here for a while, but howd you know the house was
abandoned?
I dont live too far from here, so Id seen the house was empty
when I sometimes walked by it. Finally, a year or so ago, I decided
to explore, and I ended up up here. I like it. Its peaceful. Ever
since we moved to Salem I just He kind of sighed. Sometimes
I just need to get away from my family.
I can relate to that. I have five sisters. Even with the older two
not living at home anymore, sometimes I think Im gonna go
insane if I dont get out of the house.
Five? Wow. Youre lucky. He sounded like he actually
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meant it, too.

Have you met my sisters? I said with a little snort. Try
living with them. Id give you a day, two at the most, and then
youd be as certifiable as I am most of the time.
Maybe. He shrugged. But still, it must have been nice
having some company growing up. One of his hands settled on
my lower back and began to rub slow circles on it that sent
pleasant tingles of heat radiating through my body.
You dont have any siblings?
Nah. Its just me. Another sigh. Just me and my parents.
His voice dipped low and although I wasnt the best at reading
peoples emotions like my sisters often could, I had a sense that
whatever had been haunting him during graduation had just
returned.
So what are you doing here in the dead of night? he asked,
almost like he was purposely changing the subject.
Oh. Well, its kind of lame, but I sort of came here on a dare.
I turned to face him, and he automatically linked his fingers
through mine. Up here on the balcony it seemed a little brighter
than it had down on the porch, and I could make out the features of
his face as if it were rimmed in silver. Instead of a golden god,
tonight he was a silver one.
I saw him smile. A dare?
Yeah. I was at the party down the way
At Annabeths. I was there for a while tonight, too.
Yeah, at Annabeths. Did everyone know the girls name but
me? My friend Jeannie likes to play truth or dare when she drinks.
Its stupid, but she always manages to drag me into it.
And youre a dare kind of person. Interesting.
No, I corrected, not at all. But thats why I always end up
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with the dares, because Jeannie knows I hate them, so she shames
me into saying dare and then thinks up crazy-ass stuff for me to
do.
So tonight your dare was to come here?
Yeah, she wanted me to get into the house and bring her
something from inside, to prove Id done it. Honestly, if I hadnt
still been a little buzzed when I got here, I probably would have
bailed when I was sure I was out of sight of her. She told me the
house was haunted and I should find the ghost.
Instead you found me.
Yeah. Go figure.
Go figure, he echoed softly. I could see him hesitating for
several seconds, then he said, Do you know that I His voice
trailed off without finishing.
When he didnt continue, I said, That you what?
He stared down at mehes a few inches taller than I am, and
since Im almost six feet, that makes him pretty darn tall. Of course
hes also way more muscular than I could ever dream of being,
with broad shoulders, and well-defined biceps and pecs barely
contained under his long-sleeved T-shirt. Standing next to him was
like being next towell, Thor came to mind again. Not comic
book Thor, but Chris Hemsworth Thor, from the movies.
I remember seeing you for the first time, he said, his voice
still quiet.
Whoa. You remember the first time you saw me? If shock
were a drug, after all Id had tonight, I ought to be stoned out of
my gourd by now.
Yeah. It was at the first football game I ever played in here in
Salem. Halloween night, when the great pile-up happened.
I gulped. The great pile-up I had caused, that had left him with
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a broken arm. Argh, even now the guilt killed me.

The game was over and right before the people who were
carrying me tripped, I remember looking over at the fence next to
the field, and I saw this cute guy with wavy dark hair, wearing a
black hoodie and a red scarf. He had the most amazing eyes and
the sweetest smile. He also looked like he was a little drunk, but
instead of that being a turn-off, it just made him look even more
adorable. And I knew, right then, that he was someone I wanted to
know.
I stood there staring at him, a lump in my throat, and a funny
little quiver in my stomach. Hed actually noticed me that night
when his gaze had caught mine? I still remembered that moment
like it was frozen in time. And hed thought I was cute? Okay,
someone needed to smack me right now because once again I was
certain I had to be dreaming this. But, no, those were really his
hands holding mine, squeezing gently and rubbing his thumbs
against my palms. And that was really his heat I felt, from where
he was standing so close to me.
II dont know what to say, I murmured. I never imagined
you noticed me. Then orever. I whispered the last, because I
hated admitting I was such a loser that a sexy hunk could possibly
know I existed.
I did. Believe me, I did. I noticed how you were always nice
to everybody in school, even when they werent always nice to
you. How you smile most of the time and youre not even aware
that it makes people around you feel better just being near you. I
noticed how you always stuck up for the underdogs, even if it
meant getting yourself on some assholes radar. Like that girl last
year who was being bullied because of her speech problems and
you took on that jerk Jarren McAfee to defend her.
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Youyou saw that?

Yeah. I saw it and was standing only a few feet away in case
he decided to make it physical because I would have knocked him
on his ass if he tried to touch you or her.
But you never I dragged in a breath before I could
continue. You said you wanted to know me, but you never let on
about any of this. Not only didnt I realize you noticed me, but I
never even knew you liked guys. I always thought you were
straight.
I saw him take a hard swallow, and then another, as if he were
fighting back some emotion. Yeah, well He let go of my
hands and turned away to lean on the railing, facing the harbor,
then released a long sigh. Lets just say I havent always been
able to do everything I wanted to since we moved here. His words
held another healthy dose of the sadness that had been hanging
over him earlier in the day.
I wasnt sure if I should touch him or not, offer comfort or not.
I finally settled on simply leaning next to him, our shoulders and
arms lightly grazing. Are youare you not out to your family?
Yeah, but He shook his head. Its complicated.
They arent happy about it? I mean, about having a gay son?
Its not their favorite thing, no. Buttheres more to it than
that. What about you? Your familys cool about you being gay?
Its always kinda been a non-issue. I shrugged a shoulder. I
dont remember ever even coming out to my family, not really. We
were raised to be whoever we were meant to be and it just wasnt a
big deal at home. It was like, Aradias the serious one, Gillians
bossy, Morgans petite and sweet to everybody, and Emrys likes
boys. You knowjust one facet of who I am, like anything else. I
mean, being out in the real world isnt always a picnic, but at home
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FAMILIAR

its cool. I shrugged again.

I am so jealous of your life.
Of my life? Wow, thatsweird. To have you of all people
say that.
He looked at me, surprised. Why?
Wellbecause youve always been the popular football
player stud who everyone either wants to be like or wants to shag,
and Im the average-in-every-possible-way geek who went to
senior prom with my lesbian best girlfriend because I never got a
date and hers stood her up.
People arent always what they seem to be on the outside,
though, he said quietly.
He looked so troubled I had to wonder if it was more than his
family not liking him being gay that weighed on him. But what
could it be? Then I thought of myself and the secret I keptabout
the witch thing, about the magick. Something not even my closest
friends knew. No, things arent always what they seem on the
outside, I admitted.
You have an accepting family, good friends, youve been able
to grow up in one place, have a history, be who you really
areyou dont know how lucky you are. So, yeahIm jealous.
He laughed self-consciously. Then his voice trailed off and he
looked out into the night. I wish
Wish what? I prodded, genuinely curious because he made
my life sound so great, and he seemed so wistful about his own
that I couldnt help but wonder what his life was really like outside
of school.
He sighed, then his gaze returned to me. He grabbed my hands
again and squeezed. I wish Id had the balls to do what I really
wanted and had gotten to know you sooner. Before tonight,
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when His voice trailed off again. I waited to see if hed

continue, but he didnt.
Wellits never too late, I said. I mean, were here now.
Andyou knowwe could, um
That brought a smile to his face. We could, um, what?
I felt my face grow hot. YouIwellah
He suddenly laughed and then he brought my hands up and
kissed the backs of them. Im sorry. I cant resist teasing you.
Youre just so damn cute when you get flustered.
Imoh I said weakly. You know, I
I never got the rest of it out, whatever I was going to say,
because he tugged me up against him and kissed me. Then he
kissed me some more. And, well, of course, I helped. I wasnt a
totally useless geek.
When we finally came up for air, he didnt go far from me,
only leaning back a few inches.
Youre even cuter still like this, he said.
I opened my eyes to find him smiling. How long had I had my
eyes closed and hed been watching me? Likewhat? I half
whispered, half sort of croaked.
In the faint silver light I could see his lips curve upward even
more. Like this. All breathless after youve just been kissed.
You I cleared my throat to get rid of the strange
croakiness, then tried again. Youre just full of unexpected
surprises.
Yeah? he asked softly.
I nodded, my lips tingling and other parts of me doing a bit
more than that. Thrumming would be a better word for those
places. I just never expected
That I liked guys?
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I nodded again. But its more than that. Even if you did like
guysI would never have expected in a million years that I
took a swallow because my throat had gone kind of dry.
What? he encouraged.
Idamn, why is it that you leave me so tongued tied? I
swiped a hand through my hair. Thats, uh, a rhetorical question,
by the way. You dont need to answer it.
I got that. His quiet laugh was so sweet and sexy, so
completely lacking in guile or self-importance, that it practically
curled my toes. He looked at me like he genuinely cared about
what was on my mind, and, as if to reinforce that, he reached out
and gently brushed back off my forehead the longish, stubborn
lock of my brown hair that had fallen over it and half-covered one
of my eyes. His touch was both heart tugging and electric all at the
same time. I wanted more of it.
Whatever it is, just say it, he encouraged again.
Its just that I dragged in a breath and released it. Okay, I
would never, ever have expected that even on the slightly off
chance you did like guys, that youd ever noticeme. I mean, Im
not exactly in your social circle, and my friends are all freaks and
nerds, and clearly so am I. And then I show up here tonight, and
youre here, too, and you pretty much gobsmack me by saying you
remember the first time you ever saw me, and you can even
remember what I was wearing, so you clearly were really noticing
me and not just making that up. And then you actually werent
pissed at me for falling like a doofy sack of potatoes on top of you.
And then you kissed me, andwellthe stuff that came after that,
and I mean, tonight, of all nights, graduation night, suddenly here
we are and the things Id thought I knew about you are not what I
knew, and, so Im just kinda thrown for a loopand.andwell,
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FAMILIAR

yeah.
You can take a breath now. David was smiling, but I got no
sense he was laughing at me, if that made sense. There was nothing
critical or exasperated at my aimless babble in his smile. It was just
a warm smile that did funny things inside me. He wound his
fingers through mine againand have I mentioned how much I
love the way he does that, like he truly wants to stay connected
with me, wants to keep touching me.
You know, he said, youve pretty much rocked my world
tonight, too. I came here after the party to be alone, to clear my
mind and say g He winced slightly, like whatever hed been
about to say was painful. I wondered why, but then he continued.
But then you showed up, and suddenly being alone wasnt at all
what I wanted anymore.
Really?
You have to ask? That was you lying on top of me under the
porch, right?
Damn my hot face. I was so glad he couldnt see it clearly. I
hoped. Um, yeah, that was definitely me, I said, remembering in
vivid detail the kissing and touching and rubbing. It had certainly
seemed mutual.
Im thinking maybe us being here tonight is some greater plan
of the cosmic universe or something. Because whether you find it
shocking or not, you were my one real regret in high school,
Emrys. The one thing, the one person, I wished Id pursued. And
then you were coming up the front porch steps tonight. I didnt
know it was you, but when I went to investigate, and then the
porch collapsed, there you were, peering in at me over the edge of
the hole, and I was like, okay, heres who you wanted, right in
front of you, so you better not screw this up.
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Okay, once again youve blown my mind, I murmured.

Why?
Its just that Ive always, well, noticed you, too. Ive spent the
past year and a half stalking I mean watchingwatching you,
nicely, from a distance.
Another flash of a smile. Ive seen you looking.
You actually saw I was Oh gods, I think Ill just go crawl
under a rock now.
Oh no you wont. He brought one of my hands up to his lips
and kissed it. The way I see it, fates probably gotten sick of all
the tiptoeing around weve been doing and decided to crash us into
each other in a way that we couldnt help but notice the obvious.
That made me snicker. With a sizzle and a bang?
His warm huff of laughter was closeso close, and I knew he
was going to kiss me again. Exactly. Like fireworks.
Bottle rockets.
More like skyrockets, with lots of stars and crackles that go
along with the bang, he whispered, his lips hovering over my
mouth.
David?
Hmm?
Shut up and kiss me already.
Another soft laugh, and then he did.

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CHAPTER 5
The kissing was different from before. I knew it and Im sure
he did, too. Because I think we both knew that it wasnt going to
stop with just kissing this time. I wanted him, and even though it
still boggled my mind, he clearly wanted me, too. That knowledge
left me with a whole herd of butterflies in my stomach, and a
warm, aching throb of anticipation in my balls.
An anticipation that only grew hotter and more urgent as one of
his hands slid down my back to cradle my ass and squeeze. His
other hand cupped the back of my head, his fingers burying in my
unruly hair, and guided my head to a better angle so he could kiss
me even more deeply.
My hands were busy, too, learning the shape of his broad
shoulders, tracing down his sides to his lean waist, then up inside
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his long-sleeved tee to linger on the warm skin there. Eventually, I

couldnt resist temptation, and eased my hands down into the back
waistband of his cargo shorts to finally do some of my own
groping.
He groaned softly, seeming to approve, and used his hand on
my backside to pull me in tightly against his groin. Oh yeahhe
definitely approved. Hard to miss appreciation like that, since the
hard length of excitement in his shorts found the hard bulge in
mine like a heat-seeking missile. We automatically started grinding
together like our bodies knew a damn good thing when they had it,
and we kept doing it, and kissing, and moaning, and touching each
other. I have no idea how much time passed because it just felt so
damned goodthis, us, being together. I never wanted it to end.
But, of course, the moment I thought that, it did end, at least
temporarily. David wrenched his mouth free and whispered into
my ear, Can you stay?
I nodded, then realized he might not be able to see me, so I
managed to get out a hoarse, Yeah, no ones expecting me home
tonight.
Thank God. He stepped away from me, and I almost cried
out in protest, but then his hand wrapped firmly around mine and
he began to pull me away from the balcony railing. Come with
me. In case anyone else from Annabeths party decides to wander
this way, Id rather be somewhere more private.
Once again I followed, not caring where we were going, as
long as I could get back to touching him as soon as possible, and
wholeheartedly loving the idea of keeping him all to myself. There
was a still a slim possibility Jeannie might come looking for me
and I had no interest in being found right now.
David steered me to a set of French doors that led into the
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house, one of which he opened.

You broke in? I gasped.
No! Not exactly, anyway. The first time I ever came up here,
not only was it unlocked, it was jammed from the weather-worn
wood so it couldnt close all the way. I admit, since it was open I
went in to explore because I was curious, but then I fixed the door
so it would close properly. I leave it unlocked, though, so I can get
in whenever I come here.
And nobodys ever complained or seen you or anything?
I told you, usually theres no one around here. And the house
is owned by someone out in California, but its been tied up in
probate for years over problems with the estate ever since the
original owner died. Which means no ones lived here in ages, and
its not for sale or anything, so nobody ever comes here.
How do you know all that?
I liked hanging out here, so I looked it up. The power of the
Internet. He grinned.
Then we were inside. He shut the door behind us and it was
incredibly dark because of the heavy curtains covering the
windows on the doors. He pulled me along with him, and I
stumbled, trying to follow and stay on my feet since I truly could
see nothing. This was worse than when wed been under the porch.
After maybe a half-dozen steps, David let go of my hand and
said, Dont move for a sec.
I felt and heard him moving away from me, just a step or two,
then heard a rustling noise and a snick. A flame came to life in his
hand and I realized he was holding a lighter. As I watched the
lighter flicker in the dark, I saw it move and suddenly another
flame sprang uphed lit a candle. Then another, and another. As
the three candles illuminated the area, I realized they were seated
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in an old-fashioned, three-armed candelabrum. The kind that made

me think of old black and white horror movies where the toostupid-to-live hero or heroine carried one as they explored a
haunted house or encountered a vampire. Except instead of being
carried, this candelabrum was sitting on the floor. Actually, on the
stone hearth of an old fireplace.
Wow, I murmured, gazing around the shadowy room as my
eyes adjusted to the warm, flickering light. I started to ask if he
wasnt worried someone might see the candlelight, but then
realized that with the heavy drapes on the window and the French
doors, someone outside would have to have X-ray vision to detect
any light in here.
The room looked like it had once been a bedroomit had that
feel to it. The furniture in the room had mostly been removed, but
a dark wood highboy remained against the far wall from where we
stood, and a large, oil-painted seascape hung near it. The patterned
wallpaper on the upper walls, above dark paneling, was peeling but
still showed hints of elegance like in some of the older, regal
Salem homes. What caught my attention firmly, however, and
surprised me, was when I looked down and discovered on the
hardwood floor in front of the fireplace, not too far from my feet, a
pallet of blankets and a zipped-open sleeping bag.
Yours? I asked, looking up at David.
Yeah, he said softly. Like I said, sometimes I just really
need to get away from my family.
How often do you come here?
I dont know. Now that the weathers warmer, most
weekends, I guess, if I can. I like the peace and quiet.
And you actually sleep here? The astonishment in my tone
was noticeable, more than Id meant it to be, but I couldnt help it.
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What was so bad about his parents that he would choose to spend
actual nights here?
He gave a half-shrug and looked away, as if my questions were
making him uncomfortable. Sometimes.
David
He suddenly reeled me in against him and hugged me tight.
Dont. Dont ask, Emrys. Okay? He sounded so vulnerable it
shook me.
Okay, I finally whispered. But I couldnt stop wondering
what went on in Davids non-school life to make him want to come
to an old, empty, run-down house to get away from his family.
And why did he seem so troubled? Was he Oh crap. A horrible
thought came to me. Was he abused at home? Was that what made
him come here to escape? The possibility hit me hard and made me
want to lash out at anyone who would hurt my golden god. I could
feel an angry burst of magick welling up deep within me, and it
took all my concentration to force it back down before any other
accidents happened tonight.
David cradled my cheeks between his hands and tilted my head
up so I was looking at him. Justkiss me, okay? And touch me.
He smiled, but his eyes downright pleaded with me to not press
him on the other subject.
Since there was nothing in the world I wanted more than to
erase that haunted look from his eyes, I did what he asked. It
wasnt like kissing and touching him was a hardship. Far from it.
And if I could make him happy, Id do it in a heartbeat.
Please? David whispered.
Taking charge for the first time in our short relationship, I
reached up, pulled his head down toward mine, and kissed him,
deeply. I broke away only long enough to snag the hem of his shirt
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in my hands and pull it up and over his head and toss it aside. Then
I went back to kissing him, but at the same time loving every
second of the warm, exposed skin of his torso now at my
fingertips. I took full advantage of the access, stroking my hands
over his back again, then sliding them around to the front, to his
smooth chest, pausing to rub my thumbs across the firm nubs of
his nipples and drawing a small groan from him. At that point he
pulled my hoodie and tee up and off as well, and I felt a cool draft
of air from the old house swirl around my now exposed skin. The
chill didnt last long, though, before his big, hot hands were
learning me the way I was him.
I pulled my mouth off his and licked my way down his neck to
his shoulder, then farther down, across his chest to a nipple. When
I drew it into my mouth and bit lightly he actually whimpered a
little. I definitely liked that sound coming from him, my beautiful
hunky god, and I was determined to hear it some more. So I licked
and sucked both nubs, until he wasnt just whimpering, but was
outright moaning and holding my head in his hands, pressed close
to his chest.
That, of course, only encouraged me to explore some more, so I
slowly dropped to my knees as I kissed down his flat abs to the
faint line of hair that led into his shorts. I made quick work of
unbuttoning and unzipping them, and even quicker work sliding
them down his legs.
He wore dark blue boxer briefs, and the wet spot on them,
where hed leaked, drew my immediate attention. I cupped his
package, squashed into the briefs, in one hand, and lowered my
mouth to where I could see the obvious head of his cock pressing
against the soft cotton. I took it into my mouth, through the fabric.
No idea what I was thinking. Id never done anything like this with
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FAMILIAR

a guy before, but I wanted to take my time and savor the sounds
David was making, the hotness that was his penis smashed inside
the restricting blue underwear, and the taste and smell of his precum. I just couldnt get enough. And, I wanted to make it last.
Unlike the handful ofokay, thered only been two before this
blow jobs Id given in the past that were mostly about getting the
guy off as quickly as possible, I didnt want this to end. So
drawing it out, lingering over it, seemed the much better option. I
had wanted David, had fantasized about him, for too long to do this
fast.
I licked and sucked until his underwear were soaked and his
ragged breathing became quiet moans. Only then did I finally peel
down the wet cotton and let his hard dick bounce free.
Even in the flickering candlelight, I could see that he was cut,
veiny, and beautiful. And just like everything else about him, Id
never wanted another guys cock so much. With a strange sort of
reverence, like I was worshipping more than devouringeven
though, believe me, I wanted to devour, tooI licked a long stroke
from base to tip, taking the time to swirl my tongue around the
head, tasting another drop of spunk.
Oh my God, Emrys, he whispered, sounding almost as
worshipful as I felt.
I licked another stroke, slower, more firmly, and then another.
Finally, I drew just the crown between my lips and gave a few,
gentle sucks.
Oh God, he said again. His legs were shaking, and when I
looked up at him, his eyes were closed and his breathing came out
stuttered. He was so beautiful it made me smile. And made me
even more determined to make this good for him. I wasnt all that
experienced, and I had no idea if he was or not, but I wanted him
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to remember this first time between us. Wanted it to be more than a

casual quickie. I wanted him to keep wanting me, damn it.
I went back to his cock with renewed determination, and
slowly but surely, sucked all of him into my mouth. Well, almost
all. As much as I could anyway. And then I proceeded to suck,
lick, swirl my tongue over him, and do everything I could to keep
him moaning and trembling.
When I thought he might be getting close to coming, I pulled
off and bent lower to nuzzle his balls and lick them, before moving
back to his dick.
But then, much to my surprise, he was pulling away, easing out
of my mouth, and, with his hands under my arms, dragged me back
up to stand in front of him.
Too much? I asked, suddenly uncertain.
Oh Godit was amazing, he murmured before crushing my
mouth in a kiss, where he proceeded to tangle our tongues together
like he couldnt get enough of the taste of himself in my mouth.
When he came away so we could breathe, he said, It was so damn
good, and I was so close, but I dont want to come without you.
His fingers were at the waistband of my shorts, working at the
button and zipper, practically tearing them open with shaking
hands. I want us to come together, at the same time. Do you think
we can make that happen?
My experience with guys had been limited to the
aforementioned two blowjobs Id given, a couple Id received, and
several instances of rubbing off or fondling while fully or partially
clothedmost all of it done quickly to avoid being caught by
parents, teachers, nosy onlookers, or one time even cops since it
had happened in the backseat of a car in a public parking lotso
Id never actually come at the same time as my partner. But with
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FAMILIAR

Davidoh yeah, the thought was incredibly hot.

I want to feel your cum dripping all over my dick and mine on
yours right when we both lose it, David said.
Holy shit! Okay, the heat level had just jumped up to molten.
Yes, I groaned. Please.
He knelt in front of me and dragged my shorts and boxers
down my legs. I toed off my Converse and stepped out of my
shorts and underwear.
I expected David to stand back up, but he didnt. Instead, one
of his hands closed around my aching cock and he stared at it.
Jesus, Emrys. Youre Wow!
I felt my face heating again. I was pretty sure I knew what he
was talking about. I wasnt gigantic or hung like a porn star or
anything, but any guy, especially a gay guy, who ever says dudes
dont look at each other in the bathroom is full of shit. We do look.
And I knew I was above average in length. Id never measured
myself because, really, thats just kind of sleazy and a little gross
and I hated guys that went around spouting bullshit about how
many inches they were because usually it was just thatbullshit.
But the fact was, I was a shower more than a grower, so even at
rest I waswellfairly big. And when I was hard, um, even
bigger. A detail that seemed to please David. Not that I didnt think
hed still want me if I was average, at least I hoped he still would,
but it was kinda nice knowing Id just impressed the studly football
hunk.
Whoever knew you were hiding this beneath that sweet, boynext-door exterior? he said, then looked up at me and gave me a
sexy grin that pretty much reduced me to a puddle of goo.
My face got even hotter and all I could do was offer him what
was probably a totally dorky smile in return.
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He gave my cock a squeeze, rubbing this thumb over the head,

which was already well out beyond its foreskin at this point, and
wiped at the thin trail of fluid that leaked from my slit. Id been
leaking for a while now, and if hed taken time to look, Im sure he
would have found my boxers wet with it. Id always been a leaker
when I was turned on, which had, on occasion, been a source of
embarrassment for me. But right nowthe way he was looking at
my dick and touching it, embarrassment was the farthest thing
from my mind.
So damn hot, he murmured. He licked out with his tongue
and slowly, slowly swiped it across my slit, gathering up more
fluid. Then he did it again. All while still looking up and watching
me, his blue eyes intense.
Holy crap. Now I was the one shaking. Id never seen anything
so sexy in all my life as his tongue lapping up my pre-cum. And it
was magnified by him watching me watch him.
He continued, the flat of his hot tongue caressing me in slow,
wet, slippery licks like I was the best candy hed ever had. And
still his gaze never left my face. I couldnt look away, either. The
sight was mesmerizing. He was mesmerizing. Was this really
happening? How could this possibly be real? Butyes, Goddess,
yes, it really was, and I was so grateful I could almost cry. And
laugh. And come.
One of his hands eased up around my balls and began fondling
them, while the other squeezed and released one of my butt cheeks,
holding me in placelike I was planning on going somewhere.
Not.
Not ever. I didnt ever want to go away from him or have him
stop.
David, I moaned, half begging and half praising. My voice
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was hoarse with need, and my hands carded through his hair, then
slid down to clutch his shoulders.
He never missed a beat, never faltered for a second, and never
stopped watching me.
As building pleasure spiraled through me with his mouth on my
cock and his hand rolling my testicles, my ability to think
coherently pretty much stopped. My whole world narrowed down
to my groin and what he was doing to me there, and how my blood
seemed to be boiling in my veins, and how my scrotum was getting
tighter and heavier at the same time. I gripped his shoulders hard
now, because my knees were quaking so much at this point I was
afraid I couldnt hold myself up. A hot tingling ache burned deep
in my balls, and I knew I was close. So close. I think I must have
said as much, though I couldnt recall any sounds coming from me
except soft grunts and cries.
I must have vocalized something, though, because David
paused long enough to say, Dont come, Emrys. Wait.
Oh fuck, I half-sobbed, remembering again that he wanted us
to come at the same time. You David, if you keep I couldnt
get out more than that, and just hoped he knew what I was trying to
say. I closed my eyes, needing to concentrate on keeping my body
from doing what it oh-so-badly wanted to do.
I felt another long, slow lick that made me tremble, another
squeeze, and then he released me. Even though I knew he had to
do it, otherwise a few more seconds and I would have been
erupting like a volcano, I still protested the loss. I might have even
begged a little. Or a lot.
He stood and captured my mouth. And this time it was me who
kissed him like a madman, hungry to lap up every drop of his taste
and mine combined.
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God, Emrys, you are so insanely hot, he whispered against

my ear, his breath warm and damp. His tongue traced the outline of
my ear, curled around the black stud in my earlobe, then sucked
my earlobe into his mouth. When he finished with that one, he
moved to the other side and did the same, toying with my earring
and sucking on my lobe. Id had no idea that my ears could be such
erogenous zones, but holy crap! Surprise, surprise, they totally
were, and I whimpered my approval.
Then his mouth moved downward, settling low on my neck
where it met my shoulder, kissing and nipping and sucking there. I
knew from the stinging sensation that he was leaving marks, and I
didnt care. I wanted him to. I wanted to feel again and again the
deep, heavy pull in my groin with every suck, every sting, with
every touch of his hands on me, every kiss. I wanted, for lack of a
better way to explain it, to belong to him. It was as if the sane,
rational part of me had gone on vacation, and all that was left was
someone Id never met beforea new, somewhat crazed Emrys,
who didnt give a damn what anyone thought, who wasnt worried
about magick or being a geek or whether hed wake up in the
morning with a hangover and realize hed been dreaming. All this
Emrys wanted was to be here, right now, with David Jennings, just
like this, with no inhibitions and no regrets. Never, ever any
regrets.
If youreunhtrying to bring it down a notch to keep me
from losing itoh fuck!this isnt helping, I murmured. Our
groins were pressed together, and while there was no grinding at
the moment, the sensation of our damp cocks, slick and hot and
squeezed together, was electric, and his suction at my neck only
intensified it.
Not helping me either, he said, his voice little more than a
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groan in my ear. Jesus, Emrys, I cant get close enough to you. I

want
Want what? My voice was raspy with need.
Everything. He reached down with both hands to cradle my
ass and then lifted. He was strong as shit, stronger even than I
would have guessed, to be able to do it, but I certainly wasnt
going to complain. I locked my legs around his waist and clung,
even as he caught my mouth with his and devoured it. Then we
were moving, a step, then two, with him carrying me. I felt myself
being lowered to my back on top of the blankets and sleeping bag.
The nylon felt cool against my backside, but there was nothing but
heat blasting me on the front, which more than made up for it.
David never stopped kissing me the whole time, and now that
we were lying down, he took full advantage of his new position on
top of me. Still holding my ass in his hands, he rocked against me,
creating a whole new kind of magick. I held on, my hands tangled
in his hair, my legs still around his waist, and let him take the lead
because it felt so damn good. It was more than grinding, better. We
were wet and slippery from the blowjob hed given me and from
all the pre-cum we continued to seep, so our cocks slid together
like theyd been greased.
We rocked and kissed and panted and groaned, while pleasure
continued to ripple through me.
When the wet wore off, friction started to build between our
groins, hot and chafing as our skin clung. It was a different
sensation, good on the border of uncomfortable, but at that point
we were so far gone, I dont think either of us could have stopped
if wed tried. Instead, all the friction seemed to do was make
everything more urgent between us.
Davids mouth tore away and settled next to my ear again.
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Pleasewait for me.

I will, I gasped, my throat dry and my heart pounding. I was
going to wait for him if it killed me because I wanted to do this as
badly as he did.
Im closeso close, he said. You?
Same, I answered, grasping his rear in my hands and holding
him even tighter. I spread his cheeks apart and brushed a finger
over the tight, puckered skin of his entrance, something else Id
never done with anyone. I felt crazy still, uninhibited, and I wanted
him, desperately, any way I could touch him, feel him, and be
close to him.
My touch at his opening drew an instant clenching reaction
from him, as well as a low, throaty, barely-in-control groan. I
brought my fingers to my mouth and sucked on them, getting them
as wet as I could. He lifted his head and watched me, and I swear
his eyes almost glazed over with such a raw look of longing, that
alone almost made me lose it. Still watching him, I reached back
and, this time, stroked my slick fingers in his crease, then slowly,
slowly pushed the tip of one into him.
Oh my Godoh God he whimpered.
Oh God was right. Could he possibly be any hotter? I didnt
know how. Seeing and hearing him like this, and knowing it was
because of me, was like giving me a shot of pure, sex-driven
adrenaline. A painful aching pressure built low in my groin, my
balls drew up tight, and I knew I wasnt going to last much longer.
It took everything I had not to give in, with the feel and taste and
scent of him all around me, and those blue eyes, pupils blown, still
staring down at me, his gaze locked with mine.
He was breathing hard and moaning and trembling all at once,
and holy crap, so was I.
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EmrysGod, Ive never wanted anyone like this before.

I wanted to respond, to tell him I hadnt either, and that this so
far surpassed my dreams and fantasies I wouldnt ever be the same
again. But my throat was suddenly clogged and I couldnt find my
voice. So I held him tighter, pressed kisses to his chin, his lips, his
neck, and pushed my finger in a little deeper, hoping he could tell
how I was feeling.
Jesus! Now! he gasped.
The word Id been waiting for. With a shout of relief, I let go
what little control I had left, and as David gave a hoarse cry that
made my skin tingle and my balls throb, I felt the hot blast of cum
between us, and it wasnt just my own.
Oh fuck! Fuck! My whole body spasmed from the force of
my release. I swear I could feel it from the ends of my hair to the
tips of my toes, and everywhere in between, like Id been jolted by
a lightning bolt. A lightning bolt of incredible sensation.
So good, David was moaning.
Oh gods, yes it was. More than good. Incredible. Like
fireworks incredible, and for a few seconds, I could have sworn I
actually heard the faint boom and crackle of fireworks outside.
Huh? Had I done that? No, of course not, because if it had been
my doing, the house would probably be on fire now or something.
Obviously my orgasm felt so amazing it seemed like fireworks.
We continued to move together, hot and slick from our cum,
until we were utterly spent. By that time, I was light-headed and
my body felt like it had been wrung out in the best possible way.
Though I couldnt speak for him, I was completely blown away by
the whole experience. I hung onto David, using him as my anchor,
not ready to be apart from him. He seemed to feel the same. So we
held each other and rocked gently, breathing hard.
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Eventually, though, our breathing evened out, and the rocking

and groping became soft caresses and bone meltingly slow kisses.
A sort of sleepy satisfaction filled me. I was still turned onI
wasnt sure Id ever not be when I was around himbut with the
immediate, urgent edge taken off, now desperate lust took a
backseat to just being close to him. David rolled off me and lay
next to me on his side, pulling me onto mine as well, but he never
let me go. He held me against him, not seeming to mind our drying
cum and the fact we were sticking together. Actually, neither did I
because getting cleaned up meant moving, and I so didnt want to
do that right now. He smoothed his hands along my back, caressed
my face, and continued to kiss me with so much tenderness and
passion it left me shaking.
I dont want to let you go, he whispered between kisses.
Then dont, I whispered back. Dont ever.
In response, he held me closer and it almost felt as if his kisses
took on a note of desperation. As if he were truly afraid something
might try to tear us apart and he needed to hold on tight.
I didnt mind because, holy crap, I loved thisthis lingering
together, not rushing to get up and go our separate ways. No one
Id ever been with had wanted to linger before, but with David, this
whole night had been one incredible surprise after another.
Maybe David was right and the universe had gotten tired of us
dancing around our attraction and had taken matters into its own
hands and thrown us together to make sure we discovered once and
for all how freaking amazing we could be together. Or maybe my
sister Morgan really was on to something with her beliefs about
past lives and people meeting again and again.
All I knew was that I felt drawn to DavidI had from the
moment Id first seen him at the football game our junior year.
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And now, after being intimate with him, the pull was even
stronger. It was like he had a tractor beam on me that was tugging,
tugging, tugging me in and I couldnt break away. I didnt want to
break away. Being with him felt right in all kinds of ways Id never
experienced before, in ways Id never known a person could
experience. Like it was meant to be. Like no matter what ever
happened, he was the only one who could or would ever make me
feel this way.
I know, so sappy right? But it was true. And maybe I was a sap,
but Id never felt like this about anyone before.
I wanted to tell him as much, and I searched for the right words
that wouldnt make me sound like a clingy, sappy geek. But finally
I realized I didnt care if it came out all gooey sounding. I felt
gooey inside, damn it, all warm and melty and completely crazy
about the guy.
David, I I whispered against his mouth.
Before I could get out the words, however, a sudden, deepdown jolt of icy foreboding hit me right in the gut. It happened so
fast, and was so strong, it practically stole my breath.
What? Oh crap! Oh no
And just like that, the words I wanted to say to David died on
my tongue, and the night took on an entirely different flavor.
No, this is not happening, not now!
But clearly it was happening, and I couldnt stop it, no matter
how much I wished I could. Id never been able to stop it.
Id only ever felt this strange, awful sense of impending doom
a handful of times in my life, but each time I had, it had been
followed by some event that had shaken my world. Id felt it the
night before my grandfather passed away, the morning before my
appendix had burst and I almost died, and the day my mom had
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been in a car accident that had altered her life forever. It was the
one witchy power I had that seemed to work all too well, and it had
never foretold anything good. The problem was, all I got was an
awful cold knot in my gut and a sense that something was about to
occur. Sometimes I had a niggling sense of who it would affect,
but I never knew details. It was frustrating as hell and I hated it,
because it always meant things were about to change, and not in a
good way.
In this case, I had a sudden, deep-down sense that my time with
David was soon going to be over. Because by tomorrowI didnt
know how or why, but I knew with icy certainty that hed be gone.

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CHAPTER 6
The premonition left me reeling and faintly sick. What did it
mean, this feeling I had that hed be gone? Like gone away or I
swallowed hard. Or gone gone, like something terrible was going
to happen to him and he might d
I couldnt think the word. I just couldnt. But I couldnt rule it
out either since practically every time Id had this feeling, someone
either had d The d word. Or had almost done it. And there was
no way that meant anything good for David.
David must have sensed how upset Id become because he
leaned back a few inches and studied my face. What is it? he
asked, his gaze concerned as he fingered my wayward lock of hair
back from over my eyes.
I Itsnothing, I murmured, guiding him back to my lips,
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not wanting to give into the fear that had suddenly consumed me,
but at the same time feeling the strong need to keep him close.
He pulled back again, though, his face looking a little pale and
the skin around his mouth kind of drawn. Areare you regretting
this? His voice was so soft and uncertain it hurt me somewhere
inside.
I stared at him for a second, hardly able to believe hed even
ask me something like that after what had just happened between
us.
No. No! Of course Im not. David, this, uswerewell,
were pretty damn awesome together. Dont you think? Now it
was my turn for some angst. Youre not having regretsare
you?
The worry lines around his mouth softened, and his eyes, those
incredible blue eyes, grew warm and liquid, like the ocean on a
clear summers day. His voice, when he spoke, was husky. No,
God no. No regrets. And yeah, I do think were awesome.
Forcing my fears about the premonition to the back of my
mindor trying to at least because I had no idea how Id ever
explain it to himI smiled and brushed my thumb over his lips.
Me, too.
He studied me for a few seconds, like he suspected I was
keeping something from him. But then again, I knew he was, too,
like whatever had been bothering him all day, and whatever went
on at home to make him want to avoid his family.
A sudden thought hit me. Crap! Maybe whatever had been
troubling him had something to do with my premonition. But I had
no idea how to bring it up and ask him, not without explaining the
witch thing, or at minimum my ability to sometimes know things
ahead of time, which alone would probably make him think I was
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crazy.
Sometimes it totally sucked to have powers I couldnt control
and couldnt explain to anyone.
I wasnt sure my Brave Little Toaster face had convinced him I
was okay because fine lines had formed on his forehead and he
looked troubled still, but finally he seemed to decide to let it go.
He sat up, then reached over to dig through a backpack I hadnt
noticed before, which sat next to the blankets. He pulled out a
water bottle and what looked like a clean T-shirt. He poured a bit
of water on the soft cotton, then nudged me onto my back. This
might be a little cold, he said.
I hissed because it was cold as he stroked the damp cloth over
my groin and stomach, cleaning up the dried cum. The cloth
warmed quickly, though, from being next to my skin. Or maybe
because even though Id just come, his motions werent exactly
going unnoticed down south and I started generating heat of a
different type.
Arent you Mr. Prepared, I teased, trying to make him smile.
He shrugged and did smile a little. The water in the house is
shut off, so Another shrug.
Here, let me do you now, I said, sitting up and taking the
shirt from him. He released the shirt and handed me the water
bottle, then reclined back on his arms. I sloshed a little on the shirt
and then proceeded to wipe him clean, taking my time and
enjoying hearing his startled little huffs of breath and seeing his
limp cock go not so limp.
Youre doing that on purpose, he said.
Doing what? I asked, all innocence.
Going slow, trying to make me hard again.
I looked up at him and grinned. And its working, isnt it?
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In response, he grabbed the back of my head, pulled me to him,

and kissed me. The guy loved to kiss. And the coolest thing was,
Id discovered tonight that I did, too. Or maybe it wasnt the
kissing in general so much as the guy Id been liplocked with that
made it great. Oh yeah.
When he leaned back he stroked a finger along my cheek. Im
giving you scruff burn, he said, looking sheepish. Sorry.
Im not.
That brought a lopsided half smile to his lips. He opened the
water bottle, offered me a drink, which I accepted, then took a
drink himself. As he was screwing the top back on, he said, Can
I Did you
Okay, now he was sounding like me, having trouble getting out
his words. Maybe Id infected him with my babbling geek disease.
Did I what?
This isthis is going to sound crazy. He shook his head.
Im fine with crazy. Crazy is sort of my life. Tell me.
He looked sheepish again, like he was sorry ahead of time for
what he was about to say. Did you hearfireworks? he asked.
Earlier.
No. No way. It was impossible! But before I could stop it, Id
blurted out, You heard that, too? I quickly backtracked, though,
in case he hadnt meant what I thought. Or do you mean
figurative fireworks?
Um, no, I mean literal ones. You know, right when we He
grinned. Except Im pretty sure I must have just imagined it. I
mean, I imagined it, right?
Yeah I said slowly. Me, too. I mean, there couldnt have
been real ones just at the exact moment we came. We had to have
imagined them.
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Except now I had to wonder. Wed both heard them. Holy crap,
had I done something? I suppose I could haveit certainly
wouldnt be the first time Id let off magick in the heat of emotion,
and Id been feeling plenty of that along with a nuclear bombs
worth of explosive cum. Id been running on pure sexual and
emotional buzz. And come to think of it, had I been thinking about
fireworks right then? Crap, I might have been. And wed talked
about fireworks earlier, too.
But if it was me, how was it that we werent zapped or fried or
something? Because my magick was almost never benign. Oh shit!
Someone outside, someone out on the harbor or somewhere, could
have reaped the awful benefits. But I quickly shoved that thought
out of my head because I didnt want to think I might have hurt
anyone, especially some unsuspecting innocent.
You knowtime spent with you, Emrys, is definitely an
adventure.
Oh? I said, not sure what he meant or where he was going
with this train of thought.
Lets just say its never dull.
He didnt know the half of it. If he ever found out about my
magick, hed wish for dull. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
He smiled. Wellcrashing through a rotted porch aside,
everything else tonight has been pretty damn perfect.
That made me smile. Does that mean youll ask me on a
second date? I teased.
His face, which a split second before had been happy, with his
blue eyes twinkling, suddenly sort of crumpled, and he turned
away from me under the premise of putting the water bottle away.
But I knew betterId seen his expression before he turnedand
my heart sank. Id tossed the comment out without thinkingI had
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a way of doing that sometimes. Open mouth, blurt, then suffer the
consequences. Whatever he was feeling, he clearly didnt want to
share, and, worse, he didnt seem to want to commit to seeing me
again. And that hurt more than I would have thought possible.
And then there was my bad feeling something was gonna
happen to him
My great night had taken another turn for the bad.
David
He turned back to me and, much as he had earlier, he looked
upset but was trying not to show it. I hated to tell him, but he
sucked at it.
II really need to pee, he said. You?
Seriously? Thats how he was going to change the topic? If I
wasnt so hurt, Id be insulted. As it was, I simply nodded because
the truth was, I had to pee, too. Id had more beer than I
remembered to pay attention to at the party earlier, and, as it
always did, the alcohol had caught up to me.
He stood and held out his hand to me. I looked at him for a
moment, then reached for his hand and let him pull me up. He
wound his fingers through mine.
I thought you said the water in the house was shut off.
It is. We have to go outside.
I pulled my hand free. Back down that ladder? Holy crap, Ill
probably kill myself on that thing. Ugh. Let me grab my shorts.
You dont have to put on anything. Another faint smile had
crept onto his lips.
To go outside? Are you kidding me? Theres no way Im
going buck naked down that ladder. Id probably fall and break my
legor break something else thats dangling freeand when the
ambulance came Id be lying on the ground in the altogether for
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everyone to see. No thanks.

I started to reach for my shorts, but David pulled me away from
them. I dare you, he said.
Now he was smiling for real, and I found myself sort of
breathless, standing only a foot away from him in all his beautiful,
muscular glory with that gorgeous smile on his face. But down
inside, I was also still having pangs in my heart from his refusal to
answer me about a second date, and the look on his face when Id
mentioned it. Yet now he was teasing me, smiling, and daring me
like nothing was wrong?
I blinked, trying to sort out what was really going on with him,
and could come up with nothing. Except that he was still standing
there nude and, dear Goddess, looking totally fucking sexy. Id like
to say Im not shallow, but when one is standing next to his wet
dream, who also happens to look like Thor, well, under those
circumstances, nine times out of ten, lust is going to win out and
feelings are going to take a backseat. At least for the moment.
You know how I feel about dares, I said, staring up at him.
But youre daring me anyway. To go outside nude.
I am.
And what about you?
You dont have to dare me. Im doing it. Its like, what, two in
the morning? No ones gonna be out there, and even if we hear
someone, just think of it as a little thrill to make sure they dont
hear or see us. Besides, it makes it easier to not have to undress
again when we get back inside. He waggled his eyebrows in a
way that should have looked dorky but instead was totally hot.
Youre such a pervert.
You know you love it. Come on. Dont wimp out on me.
I groaned. Youre nuts. But I let him lead me. We didnt
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head toward the French doors though. Instead he pulled me

through the bedroom door and into a dark hallway.
What the hell? What happened to the ladder?
We dont have to use it to get out. We can go through the
house and out the back door.
Now you tell me, after you lured me up that crazy-ass ladder
earlier!
He laughed. The back doors locked from the insideyou
cant get in that way. To get in, you have go up the ladder and in
the balcony door.
Why not leave the backdoor unlocked so its easier for you
when you come here?
Uh, because, technically Im not supposed to be here,
remember? This is illegal. So Im not going to leave an obvious
downstairs door unlocked in case the cops come by to check on the
place.
The cops. Now you mention the cops. As I stand here balls-out
naked. I shook my head and groaned.
We were trekking down a hallway. It was dark and lit only by
the faint flickering of the candlelight that crept out from the
bedroom. But soon that little dab of light no longer penetrated the
gloom and once again I found myself relying on David, who
seemed, as usual, to know where he was going even in the
darkness. I was starting to think he might be a superhero in his own
rightone with night vision.
There are steps in front of you. Hold onto the banister here.
He set my hand on a wooden rail.
Youre crazy, you know that? Wandering about this old place
in the dead of night. Why dont you carry a flashlight in that
backpack of yours?
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I usually just use the light on my phone, but the batterys

getting low. No worries, though. Ill get us there.
I hung onto the bannister for dear life with one hand as I felt
my way down the stairs in the dark. David was right in front of me,
so I had my other hand on his shoulder, which radiated warmth and
reassurance.
Are you always such a worrier? I heard the teasing tone in
his voice. You remind me of my great aunt Dorothy.
A few minutes ago you had me flat on my back underneath
you having sex with me, and now I remind you of your great aunt
Dorothy? Im not sure if I should be insulted, grossed out, or just
worried for you.
He snickered. Trust me, when we had sex, my aunt was the
last thing on my mind. All I was thinking about was you.
Yeah, sure, go ahead and try to suck up to me now.
He stopped suddenly, turned, and I felt his mouth against mine
in the dark. It startled me so much I almost toppled over, but his
arm went around my waist to steady me, and then his hand slid
down to cup my ass, all while his tongue was making a thorough
exploration of my mouth. When he finally eased back, my head
was still sort of spinning.
What was that for? I murmured, breathless.
Sucking up, of course. I could feel him smiling.
Then he turned and we resumed our course downward.
As it happened, we only had a couple of steps to go and were at
the bottom. I knew that because I was expecting another step and
almost slammed into David. He clasped my hand and pulled me
forward.
We should have brought the candles with us. Then we would
have been like the stupid people in horror movies, wandering
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through the abandoned haunted house in the dark holding only a

creepy, goth candelabrum.
He snorted.
What? I asked. Better that than fall and break my neck in
this damn black hole.
And he starts again, David said, with the worry, worry,
bitch, bitch.
I reached out in the dark and smacked him on theI think on
the shoulder. I couldnt tell.
Ow! But he didnt really sound like he was hurt. Come on,
Mr. Worrier, were almost there.
And we were. A few seconds later a door loomed in front of us.
I could tell because I heard him turn the lock, and then it opened
and I felt the cool night breeze against my bare skin and saw the
stars above me.
We ended up in a little wooded garden area, at least thats what
it looked like, best I could tell.
Lets find a tree, David said.
Oh? The same tree?
What, are you shy?
Now it was my turn to snort. Please.
But when we finally found our tree I stood there holding
myself andwellnothing happened. David had already relieved
himself and now he stood behind me, kissing my neck and running
his hands up and down over my butt.
After several more seconds of inaction on the part of my
bladder, David teased, I thought you werent shy?
Im notits just that my dick cant decide whether to take a
leak or get all hot and bothered because youre standing back there
fondling my ass.
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For that I got a particularly steamy squeeze of both cheeks.

Maybe you need some help. I could hold it for you.
He reached around and tried to make a play for my cock, but I
swatted his hand away. Stop, you perv. If you do that, Ill never
go.
He kissed my neck again, then whispered in my ear, You are
so fucking sexy like this, out in the wide open world, in the nude,
with your big dick in your hand. God, I want to jack you right now,
Emrys, stroke you slow and hard and make you come again, make
you shoot your spunk all over the tree, all over the grass, all over
our hands. I want to milk you until youre panting my name and
begging me to do it all over again.
Ohfuckinghell I moaned, the dick in question getting
harder by the second as every word came out of his mouth.
Jesus, I cant get enough of you. He was pressed against me
from behind now, and his cock, which was like a steel shaft again,
settled into the length of my crack.
Suddenly, all I could think about was having that hot, solid
length buried inside me. The thought was so intense, my ass
actually clenched and I shuddered and let my head fall back
against Davids shoulder. Id never been fucked before, but, oh
crap, the idea of being stretched open and filled as David fucked
me I shuddered again, and a low whining noise tumbled from
my lips.
His hand moved back to my cock and this time I didnt fight
him. His big, warm palm closed around it and squeezed, and I
almost shouted it felt so good. I still had to pee, but that was only
making the sensation of his hand stroking me more intense and I
shuddered again.
He pressed into me from behind, dragging his shaft along my
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crease, and with his hand eagerly working me in the front, pretty
soon I was outright begging. Pleasegods, pleaseplease!
Please what. Tell me what you want. His voice was hot and
damp against my ear. What do you need, Emrys?
You I gasped. I wantyouin
Say it.
In me, I groaned. I want you in me.
I felt him shudder behind me and his hand squeezed me harder
for a second. Youyou want me to fuck you? he whispered, his
voice gone all husky again, which I was beginning to recognize
happened when he was particularly turned on.
Yes, oh my gods, yesyesplease.
Jesus, he whispered, breathlessly. Havehave you ever
done it before?
The question made me catch my breath for a moment and
brought me back to reality, at least a little bit. No, I admitted,
squeezing my eyes closed. Have you?
No.
Then maybe
No, I know what youre going to say, but dont. He slid
against me, and the feel of his cock, hot and firm, dragging along
my crack again made me gasp. I want to. Oh my God, I want to so
bad. His body shook behind me, lending testament to his words.
But I dontfuck, I dont have any condoms and we probably
shouldnt
I do.
What? he rasped. You do?
I nodded, my eyes still closed as I moved against his length
behind me. Upstairs, I croaked. Wallet.
Oh God. He pulled away from me.
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What? What are you doing? I whispered, desperate to feel

him back against me.
Im going inside to get em. Ill be right back.
Im going with you.
No, I know the house. Ive rambled around it in the dark for a
year. I can be in and back out again before wed ever get up there
together. He kissed me fiercely then said, Dont move.
He was gone, running, before I could even respond.

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CHAPTER 7
I couldnt believe hed left me out here like this, alone, naked,
and so freaking turned on I could barely function. I was shaking,
and it wasnt from the cool breeze blowing against my bare skin,
but from anticipation. My ass clenched at the thought of what wed
just agreed to do, and my stomach turned somersaults thanks to
nerves.
Oh Goddess, was this really going to happen? I shivered and
reached for my dick, which was hard and jutting up in eagerness.
Then I remembered that my bladder was still full and fairly
painful, so I decided Id better take advantage of the bit of privacy
I had to finally take care of my business. I crept deeper into the
trees, not wanting to have David come back and find me midstream, so to speak. Okay, maybe I was a little shy, which seemed
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silly somehow when hed seen me nude for the past hour or more,
and when hed given me head and brought me to an incredible
orgasm. But I wasnt really interested in figuring out the whys of it
at this point. I just wanted to get it done and out of the way before
he got back.
The problem was, I had such a painful erection I still had
trouble making anything happen. Finally, finally I was able to go,
and had just returned to the spot David had left me when I heard
him coming back, his footfalls heavy on the soft, overgrown grass.
Did you miss me? I asked.
You have no idea. His voice was somewhere between a
whisper, a groan, and a growl. The growl part was sexy as hell and
made my groin and my ass pulse with a new surge of need. He
dragged me against him with one arm and kissed me. Then he
released me and I saw hed brought a blanket with him.
After spreading it out over the grass and setting something at
one corner of itpresumably the rubber that I kept stashed in my
wallet just in casehe reached for me again.
I went willingly, and the moment our cocks brushed together
his still just as stiff as my ownI hissed in a breath and shivered.
Like hed never left, we instantly rebonded, with his hands
stroking my ass, our mouths crushed together in hungry kisses, and
our groins thrusting.
Then David took a step away, onto the blanket, and sank to his
knees. Come here, he said, huskily, holding out his hand.
I took it, my insides squirming, and let him pull me down.
Once again I found myself on my back with him over me. We
ground together for a few minutes, kissing. Then he shifted, licking
and kissing his way down my chest to my stomach, to my groin,
until he found my erection.
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I dragged a hand over his head as he captured my cock and

sucked it into his hot mouth, drawing a cry of pleasure from me.
But he didnt linger long, and much to my sorrow, left it all too
soon. However, when he spread my legs farther apart, bending my
knees and pushing them up against my chest, my breath caught.
And when he kissed and licked his way over my balls and then
downward still Holy shit. Oh godsoh fuck!
I shook like a damn leaf when I felt his tongue glide over my
hole, and I could barely drag air into my lungs. A low whimpered
moan escaped my mouth, sounding nothing like any noise Id ever
heard myself make. And the noise just continued as he did it again,
and again, and became a strangled cry when I felt his tongue probe
at me.
DavDavid, I gasped. Oh fuck oh fuck Id imagined
him fucking me, but this I hadnt been prepared for. Once again
hed shocked the crap out of me.
My hips lifted off the ground and I couldnt keep still. David
took advantage of it and when my hips rose again, he grasped one
of them in his big hand and held me up, giving him better access as
his tongue continue to lick and spear at me. My hands clutched at
his hair, then reached down to grasp the blanket on either side of
me, then back to his hair. I couldnt settle, couldnt think. I was
going mad with need. Or at least I thought I wasuntil suddenly
his mouth wasnt the only thing working at me. A wet finger
breached my hole and pushed in.
Unh! Ohmygods, I moaned low in my throat.
He began to move it inside me, slowly but with purpose,
turning it in a circle, stretching me. My ass tingled, but I also felt
all warm and aroused like Id never been in my life. His tongue
continued to tease at me, around the base of his finger, and the
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sensation was almost overload, except it wasnt because I didnt

want him to stop. More, I heard myself beg in that strange,
choked voice.
For a split second, he pulled out, but then I felt a second, wet
finger ease in with the first, thicker this time, stretching me wider.
I gasped at the burn, and he stopped.
You okay? he said, sounding genuinely concerned about me.
Yeahyes. More, I begged. Please dont stop.
Crazed Emrys was back. I didnt care how I sounded, what
noises I made, or anything else. All I wanted was to keep feeling
him opening me up and filling me in a place and in a way Id never
let anyone else go.
Christ, Emrys. You have no idea how fucking incredible you
are like this, he said, his voice shaking. So were his hands, as he
pressed deeper.
I gasped again when he pushed past the tight ring of muscle
inside me, and then shuddered when his fingers sank home the rest
of the way.
I started to squirm again, but he held me tight with his hand on
my hip, refusing to let me move, and curved his fingers inside me
to keep me from inadvertently pulling off them. His solid refusal to
let me go only turned me on more, and I realized I could totally get
off on letting him be in control. Fuck, I loved it. I wanted him to
stretch me, fill me, pound into me. I didnt care, as long as he was
the one doing it and I had him touching me, had him in me.
He began to move his fingers in and out, and sometimes hed
pull out completely only to replace his fingers with his mouth,
licking and thrusting with his tongue.
I was completely unhinged at that point, whimpering and
begging and saying gods knew what.
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Just when I was certain I couldnt take anymore without going

insane, he stopped everything and rose up on his knees.
I clutched at him, trying to bring his hand back to meto my
ass, to my dick, anything.
But he didnt give in. Instead, he leaned over me and covered
my mouth with his. I could taste myself on him, the taste of sex
and desire and musk. He ran his tongue over mine, nipped at my
lower lip, then sucked it into his mouth. I clung to him, and, yes, I
begged. Again. I couldnt seem to stop begging.
He pulled away and looked down at me. I could just make out
his face in the dark with the sliver of moonlight and faint starlight.
Are you sure? he asked.
Ive never been more sure of anything, I whispered. Fuck
me.
Ive never done this before. His voice was actually quavering
a little.
Youre doing a fucking amazing job so far, I managed to
gasp as his hand slicked over my cock.
Tell me you want me.
Fuck, David, you know I do. Please.
He smiled then.
What? I demanded.
You get the dirtiest mouth when youre turned on.
I Did I?
He leaned down close to my ear and whispered, I love it. Its
fucking hot and so are you. He rimmed my ear with his tongue,
making me quiver, then he was rising up again and reaching for the
condom where hed left it on the blanket. Without hesitation, he
tore open the wrapper and then rolled the pre-lubed rubber down
over his dick. I gave a silent prayer of thanks to the gods that Id
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had it.
David reached down again and I realized what else he had.
You found the lube, too? I asked, surprised. Id forgotten to tell
him before he went back in the house about the slim packet of it I
also had stashed in my wallet.
Oh yeah.
This is the first time Ive ever had a chance to use them.
Im glad. Im glad you havent used them before. Emrysyou
dont He seemed to be having trouble speaking, and I tried to
reach up for him, to caress his face. Instead I found his hand and he
wrapped his fingers through mine. You dont know what it means
to me that yourethat wereeach others firsts.
I felt a hot lump in my throat. Same for me. In my wildest
imagination Id never dreamed Id be doing this with David, the
one guy whod always made me insane with longing.
Roll over, he said. I think it might be easier.
I did, my whole body trembling, anxious, needy. I settled on
my hands and knees, and heard him hiss with pleasure as one of his
hands roamed over my ass. So gorgeous, he murmured.
I leaned back into his touch. Do it. Please.
I heard the tearing of the lube packet, and then felt a slippery
finger push back inside me. I whimpered, but it wasnt a finger I
wanted any longer. Please, I said again, my voice hoarse.
He stretched me with his finger, moving it in a circle to widen
my entrance and slick me inside. Then it was gone and a much
thicker tip pressed against me, firm and insistent. Hed coated
himself with lubeI knew because there was no friction. But there
was also a big difference between a finger (or two) and the head of
his dick, which felt huge. I dragged in a breath, held it for a
second, then forced myself to let it out. I knew I had to relax, that it
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would be better if I did. I might be an anal virgin, but Id done my

reading, and porn watching, and knew being tense wouldnt make
penetration any easier. So I took in another breath and released it
and tried to stay relaxed as best I could in spite of my whole body
shaking like a tree in a noreaster and my stomach tied in knots of
nervous anticipation.
He pressed and I tried to breathe through the burn and the
pressure. And then he was in, the head of his dick anyway,
stretching me impossibly.
Oh God, he moaned.
I moaned right along with him, unable at this point to make any
words. He eased back just a little, then pressed again. I caught
myself tensing up, but then remembered I shouldnt do that. His
hands smoothed over my ass and began kneading, and somehow
that relaxed me.
Slowly, slowly, so slowly I could barely breathe I wanted it so
bad, he filled me.
By the time he sank all the way home, with his balls pressed
against my ass and his dick so deep it felt like it might split me
wide open, we were both breathing hard and trembling, and Id
never felt sotaken. Gods, was that the word?
Oh my God His voice was almost breathless. You
feelso tight. So hot. Howhow are you? How does it feel for
you?
Full, I managed to say, my throat aching with an emotion I
couldnt explain. Full and stretched and heavy oh fuck,
David.
Do you want me to
No! Gods, no, dont you dare pull out. I squeezed around
him, as if I could somehow make him stay.
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He moaned. Fuck, Emrys. The last thing I want to do is pull

out.
Good. Dontever.
Tell me when you want me to move.
Now. For fucks sake, now! I cried.
He did, sliding out almost as slowly as hed gone in, drawing
several whimpered swear words from me, and then plunging back
in again.
More, I begged.
Like this? He slid out again, then thrust deep, a little more
firmly, with more confidence, this time.
Yeah, I gasped. Just like that.
It still burned some, but after several more strokes, the burn
faded away and instead a deep-down buzz built low within me,
making my ass vibrate, my cock and balls ache with pleasure, and
my head spin. Each time he thrust in I heard myself cry out, and
each time he slid back, I practically sobbed for him to return.
David wasnt much quieter.
The scents of the sea air and overgrown green grass around us
soon mingled with the added smell of sex, and the cool breeze no
longer chilled but instead felt good on our hot bodies and sweatsoaked skin. I dropped to my elbows and reached beneath me to
grasp my dick. It was hard and, of course, leaking like a damn
faucet. I wrapped my fingers around it and tried to find a rhythm
with Davids fucking.
Before I could, though, he stopped and pulled out of me.
What? No! I cried.
Shhhturn over, Emrys. His voice was shaking and sounded
raspy.
On my back?
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Yeah. I felt his hands on my hips, guiding me.

I sank to the blanket and rolled over. He immediately spread
my legs, pushed them back against my chest, and while holding
onto one thigh, used his other hand to direct his cock back to me.
I squirmed and tried to lift up to meet him. I wanted him back
in me so bad. Pleaseplease
Almost there. And then he was. And he was filling me again.
And everything in my world was right once more.
I whimpered my appreciation.
He slowed his pace, moving sensuously within me now, taking
his time, making long strokes that stole my breath and made my
heart go crazy.
Its different this way, he whispered. I feel you differently.
Itsbetter even. I wanted He plunged deep, then leaned over
me. I wanted to be able to kiss you, he said, before he lowered
his mouth to mine and devoured it with a hunger that was
somehow sweeter than it ever had been before. I kissed back, and
even when he began to move again, our mouths clung together.
He was right, it did feel different. I felt closer to him this way,
facing him, my cock trapped between our stomachs. I feltgods,
that word againtaken. Like I was his. Like he was making me
part of him and vice versa. Id had no idea bottoming would be like
this, that Id feel so completely claimed. It made me wonder what
it was like for him, even though right now, I wouldnt trade
positions with him for anything. Because Id never felt anything so
fucking amazing in my life as having him fill me.
When he finally rose above me again, leaving my mouth, he
made up for it by wrapping my own hand around my cock, then
closing his bigger hand over them both, which was somehow even
better, too, way better than doing it by myself.
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He thrust into my ass over and over, and guided the stroking on
my erection with just the right amount of pressure until I was
shaking with need and was desperate to come.
My ass throbbed, my balls grew heavy and tight, and I felt a
fire building at the base of my spine. I knew I was climbing a cliff
that was going to end in me crashing over the top of it, but, fuck,
what a fall it was gonna be.
Davidoh gods, ImIm so
I know. Me, too. Come, Emrys!
That was all I needed to catapult me over the cliff. I gave a
strangled cry as heat seared up the length of my shaft, and then, in
hot bursts, I erupted all over our hands. David continued to jack
me, just as hed promised earlier, milking me until cum was
dripping down our fingers and onto my stomach. I had no idea
where it was all coming from, especially since Id already had an
orgasm earlier in the night.
Only when hed made sure I was completely spent did he
refocus his efforts on his own pleasure. Letting my dick go, he
grasped my hips in both hands and began to fiercely drive into me.
I gasped at the intensity of it, at the ache in my ass from his
assault, but there was no way I wanted him to stop. No way I even
wanted him to slow down, not until hed found his own release. I
wanted him to come so bad, wanted him to feel as turned inside out
as I did right now.
I told him as much, whispering to him how hot he was and how
I wanted him to fuck me into the ground.
It didnt take long, and with a violent shudder, he pushed into
me, groaned, eased back, then pushed in again with another soulwrenching groan. Then he slid out of me, ripped off the condom,
and stroked himself until the last of his seed splashed onto my
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belly to join my own.

OhmyGod he whispered, his voice choked. Emrys,
I Oh God.
I was overwhelmed with emotion and couldnt seem to form
any words. To my embarrassment, I felt the sting of tears in my
eyes, and was glad it was dark and he couldnt see.
But somehow he seemed to know, because he eased out of me,
lowered himself next to me, pulled me to my side facing him, and
wrapped his body around me almost protectively. He held me close
with my face pressed against his shoulder.
I swallowed over and over, trying to get my emotions back
under control. I didnt even know why I was feeling like this, so
overcome and ragged. I mean obviously this had just been the most
incredible, mind blowing sex ever, as well as the first time Id ever
let anyone be that intimate with me, be inside me. But it was more
than that. It was incredible sex and my first time with David. He
was the one whod been in me, he was the one whod blown my
world wide apart.
I realized David was trembling, too, and just like hed known
about me moments ago, I sensed he was as overwhelmed as I was
and that I wasnt the only one feeling this way. It made me think
again about past lives and finding people over and over that we
belonged with.
We clung together and I felt Davids heart pounding against
mine, felt his breathing slow and come into sync with mine. It was
as if we were still part of each other in some odd way, still
connected even though he was no longer in me.
It was only then, with that connection larger than life between
us, that I remembered my premonition of earlier, that something
was going to happen and David was going to be gone. And then I
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also remembered how he wouldnt respond to me earlier, when Id

mentioned us seeing each other again.
None of that made sense given what I was feeling right now.
How could anything bad possibly happen after a night like this?
And how could he not want us to see each other again?
I couldnt answer the questions, but now that theyd come up, I
couldnt seem to push them away again either. And just like that,
fear and doubt and hurt began to seep into my euphoria, and a
strange, hollow pain gripped my chest.
Eerily, once again our emotions seemed to be mirrored because
I suddenly felt his chest heave as if hed just let out a sob, and
when I reached for his face, I found his cheeks damp.
Oh gods. David?
Another shuddering heave and a sniffle made my heart break a
little inside. And then he was leaning back and cupping my face in
his hand. I couldnt really see him, not well, but I knew he was
looking at me, and I knew, somehow I just knew, his heart was
breaking, too. But why?
What? I whispered, my throat raw. What is it?
I have to tell you something, he said, his voice low and
hoarse.
What?
He dragged in a breath and let it out with a sigh. Its
something I should have told you from the start, before we He
shook his head. God, I hate this.
A heavy tightness in my throat, I whispered, Just say it.
Whatever it is.
Tonight has been Emrys, tonight has been the best night of
my life.
His emotional statement caught me off guard when Id been
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expecting something else, something bad. Mine, too, I told him.

Yeah?
Yes. How can you even ask that? Isnt it obvious?
He brushed his fingers over my cheek. You areyoure
everything Id imagined and so much more. And being with you, it
makes me feel He drew in and let out another uneven breath.
When Im with you I feel good. Like theres a part of me thats
been missing, and I didnt even know it was missing, but now its
not anymore.
Hed just put into words what I hadnt quite been able to all
night. I know exactly what you mean.
He studied me for a moment. You do, dont you? I mean, you
really feel it, too, dont you?
Yeah. I do. So why was my heart still squeezing so hard,
expecting the other shoe to drop?
I know I didnt answer your question earlier about a second
date. The thing is, I want to keep seeing you. You have no idea
how much I want to keep seeing you. I want this, us, so damn
much I cant stand it. Being with you tonight has only made me
realize how much I missed by not letting you know sooner how I
felt. And now, I cant imagine not being with you.
Oh Goddess, here it came. I didnt know how I knew, but I did.
I tried to harden myself to it, but I was pretty sure nothing was
going to prepare me for the rejection I sensed was heading my
way. Theres a but coming, isnt there? I whispered.
Everythings just so He dragged a hand through his hair
and sighed. Everythings just so damned complicated.
You keep saying that. But why is it complicated? Whats
going on, David? Somethings been bothering you all day. I saw
how sad and not yourself you looked at graduation.
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That seemed to startle him. You noticed that? he asked

quietly, surprise edging the words.
Of course I did. I told you, Ive been watching you for the past
year and a half. I know your expressions, your body language, and
you werent yourself earlier today. Several times tonight youve
gotten upset, too. Somethings obviously not right. After
everything thats happened between us tonight, surely you can trust
me. Please, just tell me what it is.
He sighed, deeply, painfully. You have no idea how much I
want to tell you everything, Emrys. But II cant.
Hurt burrowed into me, and I pulled away from him and sat up.
Looking down at him, I said, Cant or wont?
He sat up, too, and one of his hands came to rest on my lower
back, almost hesitantly. Please dont be mad at me. He sounded
choked again.
I dont know, David. I dont know whether to be mad, or hurt,
or or I dont know! Im just confused, and you wont talk to
me, even though you just said you needed to tell me something.
Its like you toss out these hints and cryptic comments, but then
you wont follow through and explain any of them. Youve been
doing it all night. What am I supposed to think?
God, Im totally fucking this up. Im so sorry, Emrys. I never
wanted to hurt you. You have to believe methats the last thing I
ever want to do. He withdrew his hand from my back and buried
his face in his palms against his raised knees.
What was going on? I felt like Id just been thrown into an
alternate universe with totally different rules and I didnt have the
first clue how to navigate.
Davids shoulders heaved and I had to fight the urge to wrap
my arms around him and comfort him. I wanted to. I really, really
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wanted to. But I held back because I was hurt. And I hadnt been
lying to himI was confused. And frustrated. Why wouldnt he
talk to me? Why couldnt he just be honest with me?
Have I done anything to make you feel like you cant trust
me? I asked, softly.
No. Its not that, he mumbled his face still in his hands.
Then what?
He shook his head and didnt answer.
I sighed and swiped a hand over my eyes that, much to my
irritation, were tearing up again. Look, ifif you dont want to
see me anymore, just say it, okay? If this was a one-night stand for
you, tell me now and get it over with. IdId rather have that, a
clean break, than this stupid not understanding and not knowing
whats going on.
He was silent again for several seconds, and each one that
ticked by seemed to push us farther and farther apart. When he
finally spoke, his words did nothing to make me feel better.
Im fucked no matter what I do, he murmured, as if he were
talking more to himself than to me.
Whats that supposed to mean?
He shook his head and scrubbed at his eyes. God, this is
why I should never have His voice tapered off and his
shoulders heaved again.
He didnt have to finish the thought. I could fill in the blank for
him. He was thinking that he should never have been with me
tonight. That it was a mistake.
Something inside me crushed.
Im gonna go, I said, feeling like total shit, my heart aching
and tears slipping unchecked down my cheeks now. I swiped a
hand across my eyes, hating that Id let him do this to me.
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I started to stand up, but he suddenly looked up and grabbed

my hand, not letting me rise. Dont, he said plaintively. Please,
dont leave, Emrys. I dont want to lose you.
The words and the way he said them cut me in two. I didnt
want to lose him either when Id finally, finally gotten him after so
long. But how could we move forward when I didnt have a clue
what was going on? How could I fight for him when I didnt even
know what was standing between us? And clearly there was
something standing between us.
I know Ive fucked this up, he said. I should have been
honest with you from the start, but I dont want it to end this way.
Lets lets go for a swim, clean up, and and then He
nodded, as if he were confirming a decision to himself. And then
Ill tell you. Ill tell you everything.
I stared at him, wishing I could really see him, read his
expression, and know for sure whether he was being sincere or not.
But the fact of the matter was, I could hear the sincerity and
resignation in his tone. I might not have my sisters ability to read
people, but I felt in my gut that he was being honest now.
Please stay, Emrys. I dont want to waste a second of precious
time with you.
Precious time? Why did that make me think again of my
premonition? Did hecrap, did he know something was going to
happen to him?
Please, he said again, his voice raw with emotion. Stay, and
Ill tell you anything you want to know. I promise.
In the end, there was no hardness, no amount of stubbornness,
in me strong enough to resist his plea, especially when he made it
in that vulnerable voice. Just like it had been from the first night I
saw himwhen he hurt, so did I. And, as always, I wanted to
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make it better.
With a sigh, I whispered, Okay. Well clean up, and then, if
you want me to stay, you have to talk to me because I cant
I know. And I will. He squeezed my hand. I swear.

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CHAPTER 8
We made our way down to the beach. He continued to hold my
hand, and I didnt try to pull away. I couldnt even pretend I
wanted to. Davids comment about our precious time together still
rang in my ears, and I couldnt stop thinking about it, or about my
bad feeling something was going to happen, or about how much I
didnt want to lose him.
I didnt even protest about being out in the open on an exposed
beach while I was bare-assed naked. The worrier in me had far
bigger things on his mind.
Under different circumstances, the late night swim could have
been romanticyeah, the sap in me couldnt help but think about
it, with the stars overhead and the slim finger of moonlight. And it
definitely could have been erotictwo eighteen-year-old gay guys
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skinny-dipping in the ocean on a summer night. But I felt drained

and kind of numb inside, and David was subdued, so after a quick
dip to wash off, we shivered our way out of the chilly water and
back up the slope through the trees to the house. We paused only
long enough to grab up the blanket wed left on the grass so we
could use it to dry ourselves off.
It felt like days had passed since Id come down the beach from
the party house rather than just a few hours ago. The whole party
scene seemed so far away now, like it had happened in another
place and time. I did wonder, briefly, if Jeannie had ever even been
the least bit curious about what had happened to me, but she
probably figured Id bailed and snuck off and was now sleeping off
my drunk on Lees floor or wherever else I might have crashed.
We made it back upstairs in the old house without incident, or
almost without incident except for me tripping at one point on the
dark stairs and David catching me by the arm and hauling me back
up before I totally face planted. Id ended up in his arms, flush
with his body, and for several seconds wed stood there, so close
but at the same time so distant. I think he wanted to kiss me, and,
truthfully, I wanted him to do it because I hated this wall that had
gone up between us. I wanted things back to the way theyd been
the rest of the night. In the end, though, he stepped away without
going for the kiss, and I was too slow and maybe still too hurt to
pull him back.
In the bedroom, it was dark as pitch, the same as it had been on
the steps and in the hallway. Wed left the candles burning when
we first went outside, so theyd either burned out or he had blown
them out when he came back upstairs for the My heart wrenched
a little at the memory of what hed come up here to get, and why.
Oh my godsthe sex. I couldnt even think about it without
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getting all hot and fluttery inside. I could still feel the slight burn
and throb in my ass, but I wouldnt have changed anything. It had
been perfect. Except maybe what had come after.
David relit the candles, and for the first time in a while, I was
able to really see him again. The sight made me feel even worse
than I already did. He was pale and drawn, his eyes were redrimmed and dull, and he looked like he wished the floor would
open up and swallow him. I hated it. It was so not him that I
couldnt bear it.
Without thinking it through, I took the few steps to get to him,
cradled his chilly face in my hands and pulled his mouth down to
meet mine. I felt his surprise and an instant of hesitation, and then
he kissed back like he was almost relieved. Frankly, so was I. This
felt right. The weird distance between us hadnt. Kissing didnt
make the hurt and confusion go away, but it made it seemI dont
knowmore manageable. Like maybe if we just kept touching, if
we could stay close, then whatever scary unknown hung over us
could be dealt with.
Lets get under the sleeping bag and get warm, he said.
Your lips are kinda blue.
I was cold actually, and as if him mentioning it had made it
happen, my teeth began chattering. B-better than something else
being blue, I guess.
A tiny faint hint of a smile pulled at his lips, and the sight was
worth the little bit of pain it had caused me to crack a lame-ass
joke.
He lifted the zipped-open sleeping bag and we both crawled
beneath it. Instinctively, we curled together, facing each other.
Davids arm went around my waist while mine curved around his.
It felt good.
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Stay connected, I reminded myself, and inched a little closer to

him, then draped a leg over his. That earned me another little halfsmile that warmed me up more than the sleeping bag.
I didnt push him to start talking. Hed promised and I trusted
him. But after several seconds, I could tell he was trying to figure
out how to start, so I said, Why not just try starting at the
beginning.
His eyebrows drew together and he looked at me strangely.
Are you reading my mind?
I shrugged. Maybe.
He let out a tired-sounding sigh and brushed a hand over my
still-wet hair. Oh God, Emrys. My life is so fucked up Im not
even sure where the beginning is.
I waited patiently. Now that we were here, and I knew he was
going to really open up to me, I was willing to give him the time he
needed to pull his thoughts together. I felt oddly calm, too. Calmer
than I had since Id first had the premonition. I didnt know why.
Maybe it was the calm before the storm?
Another sigh escaped David. He closed his eyes. Then opened
them. Okay. About, I guess its been four and a half or five years
ago now, my family moved to Chicago. Before that we lived
several placesmy dad always had itchy feet, my mom said, so
we bounced around the country as hed find new jobs. Hes a
money guy, has always worked for various corporations and
businesses, doing their bookkeeping and investing.
In Chicago he got involved with an organization that ran
several companies as fronts for illegal activities. I guess he
discovered what they were doing by accident, but then when he
found out how good the money could be for him if he kept quiet,
instead of getting out, he stayed. Eventually, though, guilt weighed
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on him, especially when he discovered just how truly dirty the

organization was and what kind of really bad stuff they were
intolike drugs and sex trafficking. At that point, he wanted out,
but didnt know how to do it because you just didnt walk away
from this organization.
Youre talking about the mob, I said, my heart racing.
Yeah. He winced. I knew nothing about it, of course, not at
the time. But my mom did. She Another wince. Shes always
been all about having nice stuff she can flaunt, and traveling in the
right social circles. She liked the wad of money my dad had been
making, so when he said he wanted out of the organization, she
argued with him, telling him he had it good and he needed to turn a
blind eye to the stuff he wasnt comfortable with.
I knew they were fighting a lot, but I didnt know about what,
not then anyway. I was a freshman in high school at that point and
had just realized once and for all I was gay and was struggling with
that. Especially since I was on the football team where being
anything other than straight and horny for sex with girls wasnt
acceptable, so I was kind of wrapped up in my own world and my
own problems. Id tried to come out to my parents a couple of
months earlier and theyd gone ballistic. It wasnt like they were
religious or anything, but my dad grew up in an old-fashioned
family where men were supposed to be rugged and red-blooded
and macho, and he just couldnt stand the idea that any son of his
might be a queer. His immediate reaction was to want to send me
off to military school where theyd toughen me up and make a man
out of me. And my mom was put out that my gayness would crimp
her style and embarrass her. What was she going to tell her lady
friends, and how was she going to face the people at the exclusive
country club they belonged to? So, not exactly supportive.
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I leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. Im so sorry.

That totally sucks. It made me appreciate all the more my own
familys acceptance. Now I understood why David had said he was
jealous of my life.
Yeah, well, it only got better from there. His words were
edged with bitterness.
What happened?
Several months later, the feds picked up my dad. Turns out
theyd been watching the organization and especially him for a
while. They saw him as a weak link, someone they could utilize to
get what they wanted. He was actually kind of glad they picked
him up, I guess, and told them he wanted out of the organization
and asked if they could help him. They said that if he stayed in a
while longer and fed them information on the crime family and the
people they dealt with, when the time came theyd get him out and
wouldnt charge him with anything in exchange for him testifying
against the people involved. He agreed. So for like six months he
worked undercover and reported back to the federal agents. He
didnt tell my mom what was going onthe agents swore him to
secrecybut the problem was
He let out a breath and shook his head. The problem was, my
mom found out anyway. And worse, it turns out shed been having
an affair with someone in the organization, an associate of the
family, and she let it slip that my dad was talking to the feds.
Oh man, I said softly. Even I knew that couldnt be good.
She claims it was an accident, that she hadnt meant to give
him up. ShesI dont know. Shes a ditz sometimes, so maybe
she really didnt mean to. But word got back to the bigwigs that
my dad was a rat, and the agents barely got him out before the
bigwigs attempted to kill him.
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I hissed in a breath. This was all so far out of the realm of

anything Id imagined that I didnt even know what to think.
The feds immediately pulled all of usmy dad, mom, and
meout of our house and lives and put us under protection
because, obviously, now that my dad had been exposed, the
organization wasnt going to let him, or any of us, walk away. We
were moved to a safe houseIm not even sure where. We had to
stay indoors all the time. That went on for months. They had a
tutor come in and teach me, but other than that we had no contact
with anyone except people in law enforcement. In the meantime,
the feds had enough evidence based on my dads findings and
some other stuff that they were able to arrest some of the people in
the organization. Eventually my dad testified, and once the trial
was over and convictions were made, the U.S. Marshals office
sent us here to live all new lives. He said the last with a dose of
sarcasm.
Youre in the witness protection program, I said, finally
seeing the obvious.
He nodded.
I didnt know a ton about the program, but had read enough
and seen enough movies (and, yes, I knew better than to believe
everything in movies, but I figured there were at least some grains
of truth in what Id seen) to know being in witness protection
meant people had to start over in a new town with all new
identities and couldnt ever go back to where they came from or
get in touch with anyone from their old lives.
So by all new lives, you mean
I mean we had to leave everything behind. We had to He
looked completely miserable. I reached for his hand and curled my
fingers through his. We had to become all new people, he finally
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said. Except somehow my parents dont seem to be any different

at allthey still fight all the time and act the same damn way,
except worse than before because my dad cant get over my moms
betrayal. It seems like Im the only one who ended up having to
really change. They told me when we came here that because the
organization had made threats against us, including me, their fag
son, and said how they were going to hurt me to make my dad pay,
that I
His voice had gotten thick and choked and just watching the
pain on his face made me hurt all over.
They told me I couldnt be gay here. That I had to play it
straight because it was safer. Of course, I think it was just a
convenient way for them to sweep my sexual orientation under the
rug so they didnt have to deal with it, but one of the marshals who
was working with us agreed and said it would probably be for the
best.
What an asshole! I cant believe that, I said, my ire to defend
David, to defend anyone who was told they couldnt be who they
really were, rising to the surface. I had a real problem with that
kind of thing. To me it amounted to the same thing as bullying.
Theyre supposed to help you, not repress you!
David swallowed hard. Yeah, well, most of the marshals were
decent and treated me nice, but Im pretty sure this particular one
was a homophobic jerk and didnt want to have to deal with a gay
kid, just like my parents didnt. So once he agreed and they had
someone official on their side, my parents wouldnt back down
about it, no matter how much I argued. They also told me they
wouldnt let me play football here if I didnt follow their rules or
if I tried to defy them. Football was the only thing I had left that
meant anything to me, so I couldnt believe they were going to use
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it against me.
I cringed, hearing how much football meant to him and
knowing I was the reason hed ended up not playing his junior
year.
Then the marshal went on about how if people in the witness
protection program followed the rules, the WITSEC track record
was perfect and the people stayed safe. But if they broke the rules,
then sometimes people got killed.
Great. Nothing like a little guilt to intimidate you, I muttered.
I was angry. Downright angry on Davids behalf. And then it
hit me that being in witness protection wasnt just a game, that it
was serious, and my anger at how Davids parents and this one
bigoted marshal had handled things aside, he had been and still
could be in real danger. My premonition that something might be
going to happen to David reaffirmed itself with a sick knot in my
stomach. Was it all related?
So youve had to stay quiet about being gay all this time, I
said, my tone softening again.
Yeah, he whispered. Hed been looking past me, into space,
but his gaze came back to my face then, and I saw so much
apology in his eyes it made me catch my breath. Thats why I
never let on that I liked you, Emrys. I wanted to, but Ive always
had this stupid thing hanging over my head. And now He shook
his head. And now, after tonight, I think Ive only made things
worse.
Why? I asked, squeezing his hands. Well figure it out.
Well find a way to make it work.
You dont understand. We cant.
Of course we can, there has to be a way, I insisted, not
willing to let him go so easily. We dont have to let anyone
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know
No! Emrys, listen to me. His tone was firm, kind of startling
me with its intensity. We cant be together because His voice
caught. Because my stupid mom got in touch with someone from
the past, the guy she slept with. Sent him a stupid I miss you
email or something. She just couldnt help herself and had to screw
up everything. So now were being moved again to keep the
organization from finding us. Theyre still looking for us after all
this time, and if they find us
He closed his eyes and rubbed at his face. My parents sprang
this on me like an hour before graduation. I couldnt believe it. I
was just really starting to feel likelike I was comfortable here.
His gaze caught mine again. I like it here. I was planning to go to
Salem State in the fall, and I was hoping maybe, eventually, I
couldI could be more of myself again.
Im going to Salem State in the fall, I whispered.
I know. I thought maybe, after some time, if the organization
gave up on us, and if you werentwell, I thought I might
Was he trying to say hed planned to pursue me some point?
My heart did a leap that hed actually thought about it and had
wanted that even before wed accidentally run into each other
tonight.
But now its all fucked up, Emrys. Its never going to happen.
Theyre moving us again and
Moving you where? I asked, my throat tight.
I dont know. They wont tell us. Probably because they dont
want my mom to know. Wherever it is, it means God. He
rubbed his eyes again and when he moved his hands away, his eyes
were wet. It means all new identities. Again. An all new place
with more rules.
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And it means you cant tell me where you are, I said, the full
reality of what he was saying crashing down over me. And you
cant get in touch with me because Ill be one of the people in your
past, anybody in Salem would be now.
Yeah, he whispered. He curled a hand around the back of my
head and drew me toward him, resting his forehead against mine. I
felt the warmth of his breath, the touch of his fingers kneading my
scalp, smelled the salty scent of the ocean still clinging to his skin,
and heard the rough, uneven sounds of his breathing. All of it was
so, so precious to me all of a sudden. I wanted to burn it into my
memory so I wouldnt ever forget a single detail.
When are you going? I asked.
He grimaced, then said in a quiet, halting voice, In the
morning. This morning, actually, since its already past midnight.
I felt as if hed just punched me in the stomach. And it must
have shown or he must have felt my reaction because he leaned
back to look at me, his face ghostly white.
Today? I wheezed. Only a few more hours with him? And
then hed be gone? Gone, just like my premonition had indicated.
He nodded. Im so sorry. I cant even tell you how sorry I am.
I just God, I keep thinking maybe it would have been easier for
both of us if we
If we hadnt slept together? I managed to get out, hurting that
hed even suggest it might have been better.
Yeah.
No! I dont believe that. How can you even think that?
He looked pained at my accusation. If wed just gone our
separate ways, we might have always wondered, but we wouldnt
be in any worse shape than we were before, he said. Now,
though, now that we know whats its like to be together
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everythings that much harder.

No. I shook my head.
Damn it, Emrys, being with you has only made me want you
more. Its made me realize what it could be like between us, to be
together, to really be together, and now that Im completely sucked
in and cant imagine being without you, its all going to get yanked
away. He let out a ragged breath and his voice dropped to just
above a whisper. It feels like my insides are being ripped out. And
youre hurt, and, God I cant stand this!
And then he was pulling me against him again and whispering
over and over in a broken voice how hed never meant to hurt me,
and how he wished he could fix everything.
I wrapped my arms around him and held on for dear life, not
knowing what else to do. I knew what he meant about his insides
being ripped out because I felt the same way. Id finally gotten to
be with David, had finally gotten to have everything Id fantasized
about and more, and discovered he was so much better, so much
funnier and smarter and sweeter and hotter in person than hed
ever been in my dreams. And now, in just a few hours, it would all
be over. Hed leave and Id have to go back to my life and
pretendfuck! Id have to pretend none of this had ever happened
because I couldnt tell anyone the truth about him without putting
him in danger. It would be like this night, our relationship, had
never existed.
How? How was I supposed to do that? How was I supposed to
let him go without being worried sick that something awful was
going to happen to him? And how was I supposed to go on about
my business without anyone knowing that everything in my life,
that I, had changed?
My mom had always told us kids growing up that when we
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found the right person wed know it and wed fall hard. What
shed never warned us about, was that falling hard hurt like hell.

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CHAPTER 9
So what do we do now? I asked after the initial bout of shock
and desolation had run its course, leaving us in an agonizing and
silent depression.
I dont know, he said, miserably, scuffing his hands over his
eyes. I just want toI want to disappear. Never go home. Never
show up for the move.
Can you do that? Is it an option? I already suspected in my
heart it wasnt, but maybe he knew something I didnt.
He sighed. Probably not. That marshal told me that when
people left the program they sometimes got killed, and I know he
was using it to make me feel guilty and do what they wanted, but
he wasnt wrong. There are people whove gone their own way and
ended up dead. I dont knowIm just sotiredand I hate all
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this. And I dont want to go anywhere. I want to stay here, be with

you, live a normal life. But I know that if I do stay, theyll find me
and then Im not only putting myself in danger, Id be putting you
in danger, too. And I cant do that.
What if I couldnt believe I was about to say this, but I
forged on. What if I went with you.
He stared at me and for a brief second a flicker of hope shone
in his eyes. But I do mean brief, because it was blotted out almost
immediately and he was shaking his head. You have no idea how
much it means to me that youd say that, that youd even offer, but,
no, Emrys. It would mean leaving your family and never seeing
them again, never having any contact with them again. It would
mean uprooting your entire life. Trust me, you dont want to do
that, its awful. Youre close to your family, so youd miss them.
Youd be miserable. And so would they because they wouldnt be
able to know what happened to you.
Id be with you.
But eventually youd blame me for taking you away from
everything you love, the same way I blame my mom and dad for
letting it happen. I couldnt stand it if you ended up hating me. He
shook his head again.
I could never hate you, I argued.
Yeah, you could and eventually you probably would, he said
softly, sounding way older than someone our age should have to
sound. I dont ever want that to happen.
So Im supposed to justwhat? My damn throat choked up
again. Im supposed to just let you go?
He squeezed his eyes closed. Then, slowly, he nodded and
opened them again. I think its the only way. For now.
For now.
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Had he purposely tossed that out there to give me something to

cling to? I didnt care whether it was intentional or not, I clung. I
fricking clung like a kudzu vine.
Do you think eventually theyll stop looking for you and
youll be safe?
I dont know. Maybe. I hope so. Butit might be a long
time.
I dont care. Just tell me its possible.
He took a hard swallow. Its possible. Possible, but unlikely,
and we both knew it.
We stared at each other, and then he wrapped his arms around
me again and pulled me into a hug. We held each other, and I tried
to find a way to keep breathing because everything hurt.
No amount of thinking, rationalizing, or plotting could solve
the problem, though. I tried. Believe me, I tried. In the end, it came
down to exactly what hed saidthe only solution seemed to be
for me to let him go, and for him to do what he was told because it
was the only way to keep him safe.
I wished so much that I had some kind of powerful magick that
could protect him, but I was the witch who inadvertently hurt him
and caused him problems, not the one who could save him. I
wasnt even sure if any witch, even my parents, who were some of
the most powerful ones I knew, could do anything to help him
short of locking him up and putting a protective spell around where
ever he was. But then hed be just as much in prison as hed been
when the government had put him and his parents at the safe
house. At leastdamn it, I hated to admit itbut at least if they
moved him away again and he had to start over, hed have some
freedom. Hed be able to go to college, get a job, live his life.
Maybe hed even find someone and be happy
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The last thought hurt in all kinds of unimaginable ways and I

had to shove it out of my mind before it made me completely
crazy. I did want him to be happy. I just didnt want him to be
happy withoutwellwithout me. Gods, was that awful and
selfish? I knew it was, but I couldnt help it. How was it fair that
he could leave and be free to find someone else, as long as it
wasnt me?
I feel you thinking, he said softly. Tell me.
I dont want to, I whispered against his neck.
Please. Tell me whats on your mind.
I shook my head. Its just me being petty.
I dont exactly feel like Im on the high road myself right
now. Im so pissed at my parents for putting me in this position. At
my dad for being willing to give up anything decent in his life for
the extra money he could earn by working for those people. And
my mom for pretty much turning her back on my dad and me and
finding someone elsea sleazeball at thatand now putting us all
in danger again because of it. And now I cant have what I want
because of them and their bad decisions. Even if I move out on my
own, now that Im eighteen, Im still trapped in their nightmare
with no way out.
After hearing what he said, I knew he was in a much more
awful position than I ever could be and I felt not only petty, but
ashamed of my selfish thoughts. Hed lost everything. His family,
his life, his freedom to be himself.
I suddenly knew that we had to stop this. We had to stop
wallowing, as my mom used to say when I was little and didnt get
my way and moped around feeling sorry for myself. Shed always
said it helped no one, and only made me feel worse. And now I
realized clearly for the first time how right shed been. David was
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miserable. I was miserable. And we were feeding off each other

and making everything feel even more awful.
Ifwhen David left, I didnt want him to remember all this
doom and gloom and misery. I wanted him to remember us, to
remember me, in a good way. I wanted him to remember the
teasing, and the way hed groped me down on the porch when I
was climbing out of the hole, and how wed looked out over the
harbor from the balcony rail. I wanted him to think about us
laughing together, about holding hands. I wanted him to remember
the two times wed had sex and how amazing they were, how it felt
when we were connected, when we kissed, when he was inside me
and how wed held onto each other as we came.
I wanted him to remember tonight, our one night together, as
something special and good, not a night filled with angst and
sadness.
One of us had to try to slog out of this pit of despair, and I
decided it was going to have to be me. Because he deserved it.
Hed been through enough. And I was justwell, Emrys Andrews,
average nice guy Salem witch geek whod still have his family and
home and friends tomorrow, while David would be having to find
his way in a new place with a family whod never been there for
him, while still most likely having to pretend to be something he
wasnt.
I eased away from him enough I could see his face, then I
kissed him soundly on the mouth, taking my time to make it good.
Once again Id surprised him, I think, and his initial reaction was
hesitation. But then, when he realized I was all-in, he gave himself
up to it as well. If we were going to kiss, it was going to be the best
damn kiss ever.
I slid my tongue into his mouth to tease and stroke with his,
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slowly, passionately, wetly, trying to show him how much he

meant to me, and making sure he had yet another good memory to
take with him. His hands clasped in my hair, and mine burrowed
into his, massaging his scalp, keeping him close. We parted to
breathe, but barely, and never really stopped even then, our
tongues still seeking one another out. Then we came back together
and continued on, moaning softly into each other mouths,
exploring, tasting, finding new ways to mate our tongues.
We kissed forever, until we were both trembling and so, so
close emotionally that, just like when hed been inside me, I felt
like we were part of each other. And all without ever touching in a
sexual way.
Wow, he breathed, when we finally parted.
Yeah, I said with a soft smile.
How am I going to leave you, Emrys?
We have a few hours, right?
He nodded, his throat working with emotion.
Then were going to make them count. Were going to talk
and touch and find out as much as we can about each other until by
the time you have to go, well be part of each other and you wont
really be leaving me because Ill be right here. I pressed my palm
to his chest. And here. I raised my hand to caress his temple.
Youre amazing, you know that? he whispered.
Im just me, I said, shrugging.
And thats whats so amazing. He pressed a sweet, almost
tender, kiss to my lips, as if he were thanking me.
The first thing I want to know, I said, sliding my palm down
to caress his stubbled cheek, is if David is your real name. Can
you tell me that? Is it safe for you to tell me that, because Ill
understand if you cant.
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Its okay. I want to tell you. You just have to promise never to
tell anyone else.
Of course I promise. Do you think Id risk your life for even a
second? No one will ever know anything youve said to me
tonight. You can trust me.
I know. He actually smiled a little, and it made my heart
stutter it was so beautiful. I do trust you. David is my middle
name. They tell you when you join WITSEC that its good, to help
you remember I guess, if you choose a name with the same initials
as your real one or use a name similar to your real one. So I took
my middle name. My real name is Its Oliver.
That made me smile. Oliver I said softly. The Green
Arrow.
His forehead scrunched at that. What?
Not a what. A who. The Green Arrow. Hes a DC Comics
superhero. All this time Ive been thinking of you like Thor, but
the Green Arrow fits even better, with your secret identity and your
real name being Oliver. Let me guessis your last name Queen?
He sort of half smiled, but looked kind of confused. No. Its
Jaynes. Oliver David Jaynes.
I was smiling more broadly now. Close enough. The Green
Arrows secret identity in the real world is Oliver Queen. Or
maybe its just Oliver Jaynes and the comic books got it wrong.
He laughed. He actually laughed, and if Id thought his smile
was beautiful, it was nothing compared to hearing the sound of that
low, husky laugh. Well, green is my favorite color.
Next youre going to tell me you have a green hood and tights
hidden in the back of your closet.
Um, not so much.
Bow and arrow?
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Nope. I did have a Bowie knife once. A friend of my dads

gave it to me. Does that count for anything?
Well, as far as superhero arsenals go its not the most
powerful, but in a pinch, maybe.
Okay, my turn. He sat up and crossed his legs Indian style.
I sat up as well. Lets hear it.
Your name, Emrys. Its unusual. Is it like an old family name
or something?
Ahnot exactly. It comes from the Welsh name Myrddin
Emrys. Without going into a lot of boring detail, its basically
another name for Merlin.
Merlin? Like King Author and the knights of the roundtable
Merlin? The sorcerer?
I nodded. My siblings and I all have names of people who
were famous I almost said the word witches before I caught
myself. erpeople who were magickal.
His forehead scrunched. So what are you sisters names? I
know Gillian, because she was only a year ahead of us in school,
but I never knew there was anyone famous and magickal called
that. I always think of Gillian as sounding like the name for a rich
girl with mink coats and diamond jewelry.
I laughed. My sister would love that. But shes actually named
after a character in an old movie called Bell, Book and Candle.
Where Gillian was a witch.
Ive never heard of it. What about the others?
Theres Aradia, my oldest sister. Aradia, in mythology, was
the daughter of the goddess Diana and the god Apollo. Then
theres Morgan, after Morgan le Faye. Samantha
From Bewitched?
Yeah, then my younger sister Willow. He didnt seem to
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know that one. Willow was the witch on Buffy the Vampire
Slayer, I explained.
Oh, okay, the redhead?
I nodded again. Actually, all my sisters but one, Morgan, were
redheads. They took after my mom. Morg and I looked more like
our dad, with brown hair and eyes.
So, is that like a Salem thing, with all these magicky names?
What are your parents names?
I kind of chuckled. Bill and Sharon. My parents are named
Bill and Sharon. I didnt respond to the bit about mine and my
sisters names being Salem names because I didnt really want to
have to get into the whole, well, you see, were all named after
magick people because we can do magick because were witches.
Yeah, I wasnt quite ready to go there.
Okay, I get another question, he said.
All right.
What is this? He fingered the stone pendant I wore on a
leather thong around my neck. Ive been looking at it all night and
wondering. Its kind of fascinating.
I reached up to touch the shiny gray stone, as I had so many
times throughout my life, as a means of comfort.
Its an amulet my grandfather carved and gave to me on my
twelfth birthday, after my appendix burst.
I saw the scar and wondered if thats what it was. He gently
touched the old scar on my lower abdomen.
Yeah. I actually spent my twelfth birthday in the hospital. It
kind of sucked.
That does suck. Im sorry.
I shrugged. It happened a long time ago.
What are the markings on the stone?
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Protective runes. And the stone is hematite. Its used for

protection as well. Grandpa wanted to keep me safe from any
harmful energy or dangers because I almost died from the
appendix thing, and I guess it scaredhim My voice tapered
off as a thought hit me.
Oh. My. Goddess! Why hadnt I thought of it before? The
amulet was magick. Protection magick. Created not by me and my
shitty skills, but by my grandfather, whod been an amazing,
powerful witch. And who did I know that needed protection more
than anybody right now?
I reached behind my head and untied the leather, then rose to
my knees in front of Oliverit was strange, but that name seemed
to fit him so well that I made the transition in my mind from David
to Oliver without even having to think about it. I draped the
pendant around his neck and retied it. I want you to have this, I
said.
Emrys He looked at me with wide, surprised eyes while
his fingers went to the stone and rubbed over it, much like mine
always had when it had been on me. I cant take this. Its yours.
Your grandfather made it for you. Its special.
Yeah, it is special. And so are you. My grandfather knew his
stuff, he was really good at this kind of thing, he had a gift for it,
and it was meant to protect the wearer and keep him safe. Ive had
it a long time and its done its job for me, but now you need it
more than I do.
I cant
I placed my fingers over his lips to quiet him. Yes, you can. I
want you to have it and wear it. Please. It was a doubly good sign
to me that Oliver had been drawn to the pendant in the first place,
that hed noticed it, had been fascinated by it, because the witch in
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me knew that meant it was calling to him for a reason. I didnt

know how well it would work against bad guys with guns, but I
had to hope it would offer him something.
Protection? Oliver said wonderingly.
Yep.
II dont know what to say.
I smiled at him. Just say youll wear it.
Okay. I will. He leaned in and kissed me. Thank you, he
said quietly against my lips. Ill take care of it. I promise.
Youre welcome. And Im more interested in it taking care of
you. I cupped his cheek and kissed him again. I just want you to
be safe.
He nodded, slowly. Ill do my best.
I know you will.
Cancan I ask you another question? I know Im kind of
hogging all the questions right now, but
Sure. Ask. I sank back to the blankets and sat facing him.
You said your grandfather knew his stuff, that he had a
giftIm guessing you mean about stones and runes and things?
I nodded.
And you really believe in this protection? You believe that it
works?
I do.
I know this is Salem, and I know the history, and that this is a
big tourist town because of witchcraft, and I know your family
owns one of the witch stores in town, so Im not trying toto diss
anything, or make fun, I promise. Youve just got me wondering,
with the thing about your grandpa, about this pendant andwell,
because since Ive lived here there have been a couple of times
Ive He hesitated, like he wasnt sure if he should finish.
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Youve what? I prompted.

He let out a slow breath. Thereve been a couple of times
Iveseen things.
My Spidey senses were suddenly tingling. What kind of
things?
Oh manI dont know if I should
Its okay, just tell me.
He blew out another breath. Well, okay, so one Saturday I was
out walkingIve walked a lot since Ive lived here because it got
me out of the house so I didnt have to listen to my parents
fighting. I was in one of the old neighborhoods near downtown,
one of the residential neighborhoods, and as I passed by, I saw a
little kid throwing a baseball against a house. It was making a
thunk, thunk, thunk sound. I wasnt really paying close attention
cause my mind was on something else and I was mostly staring
down at the sidewalk, but then instead of a thunk, I heard a crash
and then glass shattering. I looked up and saw the kid had thrown
the baseball through a plate glass window at the front of the house.
It was obviously an accident because he kind of stood there wideeyed looking like, Oh crap! An old lady came storming out of the
house and started hollering at himshe called him BruceyI only
remember that because I thought it was funny at the time. She was
yelling, and telling him he was gonna get grounded for a month
because shed told him over and over not to throw the ball at the
house. The kid kind of smarted off to her, and she smacked him
upside the head, not hard, just in that way moms or grandmas do to
let the kid know they mean business. Then she pointed at the
broken window and
Oliver shook his head. God, this sounds totally insane. But
when I looked at the window again, it wasnt broken at all. It was
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fine. She saw me then, I think I probably was standing there with
my mouth hanging open or something, and sweet as pie she asked
me if everything was okay. I pointed at the window and
saidcrud, I dont even know what I said. Something about how I
thought it had been broken. She shook her head and, calm as could
be, said, no, nothings broken here. Then she grabbed the kid by
the ear, hauled him up the porch and into the house, and shut the
door.
I knew exactly who he was talking about. It could only have
been Zelda Byrnes and her terror of a grandson Bruce, or Brucey
as she liked to call him. Zelda had been friends with my
grandmother, a member of her coven.
Oliver looked at me then. Emrys, I know I heard and saw that
window get broken. But then it wasnt. And she completely denied
it had happened. I wasnt hallucinating, though. I knowI think I
know anyway, what I saw. And now youre telling me that you
believe that stones and runes can protect people, and that your
grandfather had a gift for that kind of thing, and its all got me
wondering. Youve lived here all your life, so I guess Im
wondering if Is there Geez, I dont even know how to ask
this.
Oh boy. I knew exactly what he was trying to ask. The real
question was, how was I going to answer. I didnt have to think
about it long, though, because I already knew. Hed bared his soul
to me and he deserved the same respecthonesty, even if it would
be hard for him to swallow. You want to know if theres such a
thing as magick, real magick. Witchcraft, I said, finishing his
sentence.
You think Im crazy, dont you?
No. But in about fifteen seconds youre going to think I am.
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He stared at me, and I could tell he was trying to figure out

what I meant. Rather than let him wonder, I gave his curiosity what
it was looking for.
Yes. There is magick, and yes, its real.
His mouth opened, then closed, even as his blue eyes watched
me avidly.
There are witches, real witches living in Salem. And other
places in the world, but we have quite a few concentrated in Salem.
The woman you saw, Im pretty sure you were talking about Zelda
Byrnes. Shes an old friend of my grandmothers, was before my
grandma died. And if were going to be totally honest, there are
some things you should probably know about me. And about my
family.
Okay, he said slowly, his eyes still wide.
Oh crap. Into the fire, I guess. There are several close-knit
families in Salem, families withcommon interests. Zeldas
family is one of them. My family is, too. My dads kin have been
in Salem for close to four hundred years, and my moms almost as
long.
I paused, seeing if what I was saying was sinking in. It wasnt,
yet, so I took a breath and dove in deeper. The thing is, magick is
real and it typically runs in families. My grandparents, my mom,
my dad, my sisterseveryone in my family isa witch.
Okay, now it was sinking in. Big time. I could see Olivers
mind spinning, and well, geez, why wouldnt it be? Up to this
point he probably thought I was totally sane and dependable, and
now Id thrown this curveball (see, I do know a few sports
references) and he was trying to decide if I was pulling his leg, or
if I had a screw loose, or if I might, just possibly, be telling the
Goddess honest truth.
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Yourwhole family, he said sort of breathlessly. His eyes

were kind of glazed and wide. Yep, he was in shock.
My whole family, I confirmed.
Witches?
Uh-huh.
I You Are He was sounding like me again with the
broken-up geek babble.
I decided to be kind and spare him further agony. Im sure you
probably think Im a nutjob now, but I promise Im not. And its
true. All of it. Its kind of weird for people whore hearing it for
the first time, but magick really happens, and there are some bona
fide witches in Salem. There are also a lot of people in Salem who
pretend to be witches, who put on a show for tourists, so its
confusing and hard to know which ones are real and which ones
arent, but my familys the real deal.
And He cleared his throat since the first word was kind of
hoarse. And youyoure ayoure one, too?
Oh boy again. Well, yeahbut theres a thing about that.
Seeumwhen the witchy genes were getting handed out in my
family, I sort ofI sort of got the defective ones.
He just kind of stared at me, like he wasnt sure what to make
of my statement, wasnt sure how to react or what to say because
he couldnt tell if I was joking or serious or what.
Once again I found myself helping him out. Im serious. I
suck at magick. When I do it, it never works right and things kind
of go kablooey.
Still he stared, and I was starting to get a little paranoid. Okay,
a lot paranoid. All right, look, um, if you want me to stop talking
about this, just say it. I wont be offended. I know this is all
probably completely bizarre for you and, oh my gods, Im starting
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to think maybe I should have just kept my mouth shut because now
youre going to think Im some kind of psychopath or serial liar
oror a total moron, andand I dont want you to think that
about me. Im justIm just me still. Im just regular old me and I
dont want
He suddenly leaned in and kissed me. Tongue and all.
Passionately enough it sent warm pulses to my groin and left me
reeling and breathless by the time he was done. He looked at me
then, his eyes twinkling, and said, Breathe.
I did, or tried to. Was heteasing me? Iyou Do you
think Im bugshit crazy or do you believe me? I whispered. I
honestly wasnt sure.
I dont think youre crazy. And I want to believe you. Im
justtrying to wrap my mind around it. Your parents, your sisters,
are all witches?
I nodded.
And youre a witch?
Well, technically, but Im really, really bad at it.
He sat back and grabbed my hands, enveloping them between
his bigger ones. He stared at me, looking eagerrapt. Like a big
friendly dog who was waiting for his master to give him a treat or a
run in the park or the keys to the kitty condo. The thought made
me a smile a little, though I didnt share because I didnt think
Oliver would appreciate being compared to a dog.
So tell me what you can do and why you think youre bad at
it.
I dont think I am, I know I am. Even my family doesnt like
to be around me when I do magick. In fact, I pretty much dont do
magick anymore because I dont have good control over it and it
can get messy.
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Messy?
Thingsgo wrong.
Like? Give me an example.
Oh boy. If this was truth or dare, this was probably the first
time in my life Id happily accept a dare just so I didnt have to do
this. I sighed. All right, tonight, down on the porch. Im the one
who caused the porch to collapse.
He raised an eyebrow. That porch is old and rotted. You
werent anywhere near the spot where it broke
I know, but when I was coming up the stairs, I heard noises.
Now I know it was you coming around from the other side of the
porch, but at the time I didnt know what it was. It kind
offreaked me. I dont ever intentionally use my magick anymore
because its crappy, but sometimes, when Im Oh my gods, this
was embarrassing. overly emotional, it sort of escapes. And
thats what happened. I heard your footsteps creaking, it startled
me, I was pumped full of adrenaline, andzap.
Zap? He was trying not to smile.
Uh-huh. My magick kind of escaped my control and was
aimed at whatever was making the noise, which happened to be
you, andzap. The boards splintered and down you went. I didnt
do it on purpose, I assured him. Thats the thing. I never do this
stuff on purpose, it just happens because I cant always control it.
He looked skeptical. How do you know it was you? Like I
said, those boards are rotten, it was an accident waiting to happen.
I think I just stepped too heavily on the wrong spot and
No, you didnt. Because I can feel it when it happens. I get a
tingling sensation in my arm and hand, in my fingers. And before I
even realized I was doing it, I discovered I was standing there with
my hand out, pointed your way, with a whole lot of tingling going
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on. Trust me. I did it. And Im sorry, and Im just so glad you
didnt get badly hurt. When I realized it was you, I almost died
because I couldnt believe I would have unintentionally hurt you
twice. Oh shit. I hadnt meant to say that. Damn, damn, damn!
Twice? What are you talking about?
Oh no. No, no, no. I did not want to tell him about the
Halloween night football game and what Id done there. That was
supposed to be my secret forever. But as he sat there looking at me
with those impossibly blue eyes, I groaned because I knew I had to
come clean. The guilt of that whole incident had weighed on me
since the night it had happened, and even though I hated,
absolutely hated, that I was going to have to confess Id been the
reason hed missed the rest of the football season, I knew I had to
be fully honest with him.
This has been bothering me for a long time. I never Guh.
A big ol lump filled my throat.
Emrys, its okay. What is it? Oliver scooted closer to me and
squeezed my hands.
Dang it, I didnt want him to look at me all sympathetic and
worried like that. It only made me feel even guiltier. But at the
same time, I loved him for it.
I never wanted you to know because it was awful and Im
embarrassed and I hate so much that it ever happened.
That what happened?
I swallowed past the lump and blurted out, The Halloween
night football game, the great pile-up? That was my doing. My
fault. I caused it.
He tilted his head to the side and lines scrunched on his
forehead. How could it have been your fault? You were standing
at the fence, not even out on the field. And there was a huge
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crowd. A couple of people tripped and we all fell. There was

nothing else to it.
I shook my head and felt a little sick as I remembered, in vivid
detail, that night. No, I was drunk and had gone pretty much
insane-o fanboy over you when I saw you. That was the first time
Id ever seen you, you know. You took off your helmet and I was
completely gobsmacked. I I took another swallow. I fell for
you instantly and just sort of went a little crazy trying to touch you
as they were carrying you by. I was reaching out across the fence,
reaching, reaching, and, I guess I just wanted you so bad that my
magick kicked in to help without my realizing it, and next thing I
knew, I was standing there with the stupid tingling hand thing, and
one of the guys carrying you jerked, because I think my magick
zapped him. He tripped and, then the next guy tripped, and, well,
you know the rest.
It was packed out on that field. There were people
everywhere, crushed together. Somebody tripped, people got their
legs tangled, and down they all went. It wasnt your fault in any
way. It was just an accident.
NoI mean, yeah, it was an accident, but not in the way you
think. It was my doing, trust me. I know when Ive used magick.
And you fell and, gods, I caused you to break your arm. I stood
there looking at you, all pale and in pain, and I felt like such a foul,
useless prick to have caused you to get hurt. And then you couldnt
play football the rest of the season, and I know how much football
means to you. Oliver, I am so sorry. I know its way late and long
after the fact, but I cant tell you enough how sorry I am. I never,
ever, ever meant to break your arm or cause you pain or mess up
your junior year football career. I cant tell you how horrible I felt,
and still feel about it.
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Okay, first of all, even if you were responsibleand Im not

saying I believe you were because I still think it was a simple
accident on a crowded field that could have happened anywhere to
anybodybut, even if you had caused it to happen, it didnt mess
up my football career. He smiled. Id missed most of the season
already because we didnt move to Salem until October. There
were only a couple of games left anyway, so the season was pretty
much over. And second, in a weird sort of way, it kind of got my
parents off my back for a while. They actually stopped fighting
long enough to take me to the hospital, and for several weeks after
that, they were on their best behavior. So, in a way, breaking my
arm was like a weird blessing in disguise. I remember thinking at
the time that if Id known getting hurt would shut them up and
make them be nice to each other and me, I would have done it
sooner.
How can you say
Not that I would have, he said, cutting me off. I dont mean
I would have gone out and intentionally tried to hurt myself. Of
course not. But it was kinda nice to have their attention while it
lasted. So, see, it was all good.
Then he shook his head and smiled. But, Emrys, if youre
using these two examples to convince me magick is real, both of
these thingsthe pile up on the football field, and the rotted porch
downstairscould easily be coincidences.
Theyre not, I insisted. No more a coincidence than Zelda
fixing the broken glass in the window, and you saw that happen.
Well, I didnt see it get fixed, exactly. I just looked up and it
was done.
Whatever. You know what I mean.
Okay, but, wouldnt it be better, if you really want to convince
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me, if you show me something here and now? Something that I can
see with my own eyes as you do it?
Oh crap, I hadnt expected this, but I probably should have. Of
course hed want me to give him a demonstration. Shit. Shitty, shit,
shit. Uh, no. I dont think thats
Here He leaned forward and pinched out one of the candle
flames. Relight this.
I could practically feel my eyes bugging out of my head. Fire?
Are you kidding me? No way. I could seriously burn the house
down. That old saying adults tell kids about how they should never
play with fire, that lesson was doubly important for me growing
up.
Come on. If you want to make a believer out of me, do it. He
was smiling.
I No, you dont understand what could happen. Im telling
you, my magick is crap and sometimes dangerous.
Are you scared?
Yes! Yes, Im scared. Have you not been listening to me? I
have no control over this stuff, and even when I try, its like
sticking a lighted match into a pile of dynamite.
He slid around behind me until his legs bracketed me and he
was behind me. One of his hands stroked through my hair, the
other along one of my arms, almostwellalmost reassuringly.
Its all right. Im right here. Dont be scared. Just show me.
I shook my head, knowing I was crazy to even be thinking
about attempting what hed asked me to do, but I knew he wasnt
going to be satisfied until I at least tried.
Please. For me? he coaxed.
Oh crap. When he used that voice, what was I supposed to do?
Maybe when the floor caught on fire, or worse, then hed believe
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me.
I closed my eyes and concentrated, trying to really focus on the
magick so when it went awry, which it always did, it would do the
least damage. I concentrated on the wick at the tip of the candle.
Focus.focus I held out my hand and, with a slight swish of a
finger, cautiously let loose a small burst of magick.
I heard Olivers sharp intake of breath. Then he murmured,
Holy crap!
I opened my eyes instantly, to see what Id done. And then I
stared, in shock, at the perfectly flickering light at the top of the
candle. Whaaat? I murmured.
Oh my God! You really did it. Do it again. He leaned around
me and quickly snuffed out the candle again, along with the one
next to it, leaving only one burning and the room significantly
darkened.
OliverI That was a fluke. It had to have been. I dont dare
press my luck and try again.
You can do it, Emrys. He stroked my arms again and pressed
a kiss against the back of my neck that sent a zing of need through
me. You can do it.
Oh Goddessthis is so, so not a good idea But because I
couldnt resist him, especially when he was touching me and now I
felt the beginnings of his erection tickling against my lower back, I
closed my eyes again. Goddess, please, please let me do this and
not get himor me!hurt.
Again I concentrated, picturing both wicks in my minds eyes.
Please let this work, I silently prayed, and then let loose another
small bit of magick.
Jesus! Emrys!
Again my eyelids flew open, expecting the worst. Oh shit,
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what did I do? was out of my mouth before I could think. Except,
once againI found myself staring, astonished. Now all three
candles were lit again, burning perfectlyand safelyin the
candelabrum on the hearth. Fuck me, I whispered, in shock.
Do something else. Make the candle holder float.
Oh no! No. A world of no! Now youre just talking crazy. Im
not gonna make that thing floatI really would catch the house on
fire. Plus, geez, havent you seen any horror movies? You know
floating candlesticks never lead to anything good. Ghosts,
vampires, ugh!
He leaned around me so he could see my face, and one of his
eyebrows was cocked up under his hair falling onto his forehead.
Next youre going tell me there really are ghosts and vampires?
Wellumthats a topic for another time.
His eyebrow shot higher. So youre saying theyre real? His
voice was a little breathless.
Im saying, thats not a topic to get into right now.
Iitscomplicated, I said, borrowing his favorite word.
Oh my God, he murmured, looking a little stunned. But then
he got over it and returned to the topic at hand. Make the
candlestick float and I promise I wont keep bugging you to do
more.
I sighed. Floating fire without burning anything. Crapthis is
so not good.
You can do it. I have total faith in you. He cupped my cheek
and pulled me into a kiss, then he released me, wrapped his arms
around my middle, and rested his chin on my shoulder as if settling
in for the show.
Oh Goddess and all my guides, if I pulled this off it would be a
true miracle. I was still reeling from doing the simple candle
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lighting without having it go bad.

Do you know how many times Ive tried that candle lighting
thing in my life? I asked him. And do you know how many
scorch marks there are on my bedroom floor to prove it, along with
a blanket that went up in flames, one side of my dresser blackened,
and a box of my favorite Marvel comics gone up in smoke? And
that was all before I gave up even trying to use magick a few years
ago. And now you want me to float the candlestick.
You can do it. I know you can.
It was a disaster waiting to happen.
And yetI had managed to light the candles. A first ever.
Maybe it was this old house. Maybe there was some friendly spirit
who was helping me along, taking pity on me.
Come on, Emrys. I have faith in you, Oliver encouraged,
feathering another kiss against the nape of my neck.
So once again I dragged in a deep, shaky breath, closed my
eyes, and focused. Please, please let this work and let no one get
hurt and nothing get damaged, I silently chanted.
I focused my energy on seeing what I wanted to happengood
magick was a large part intention. If you could visualize what you
wanted, then focused your power on it, supposedly you could
utilize the magick to achieve your goal. Of course for me that had
pretty much never worked. Id visualize what I wanted, and my
magick would be doing anything but that, bouncing off walls and
leaving holes or shooting sparks orwell, you know. But because
Oliver wanted it, and because I wanted so much to make him
happy, I concentrated, imagining the candelabrum lifting off the
hearth and floating several inches above it. Steady, even, no
explosions or craziness.
Okaaay Oliver said, the breathlessness back in his voice,
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and his words slightly quavering and kind of whispery as if he

were having trouble getting them out. You have officially made
me a believer.
I opened my eyes, still trying to hold the image of the
candleholder floating a few inches above the hearth in my head,
andholy shit. Holy. Shit! There it was, just like in a freaking
horror movie, floating a foot off the floor. As I concentrated, it
rose several more inchesI think I just needed to see if it was
really responding to me and there wasnt someone else here, a
spirit or guide of some sort who was doing it. But it moved when I
imagined it, soholy shit. I was the one doing it.
IIm in total shock, I murmured. Ive never been able to
do anything like this. Oliver, Ive never
As my emotions hit me hard over this miracle, I inadvertently
lost some of my concentration and the candelabrum wobbled and
sank a few inches. Shit! I re-applied my focus and it straightened
up and rose again. Breathing hard, I realized just how much
concentration it took to keep the magick going, but damn, it was
the first time Id ever been able to maintain a spell long enough to
learn that lesson.
However, not wanting to court trouble, I decided Id better put
it back down before I let my focus slip again. I was three-for-three
right nowa total shockso I wanted to end on a good note.
Slowly, using my fingers to guide it from a distance, I lowered the
candelabrum back to the hearth. The metal made a clinking sound
as it settled back on the stones.
All was silent as Oliver and I continued to stare at the
candelabrum. I was truly dumbfounded and trying to figure out
how in the hell I had just done these things when Id been trying all
my life and had never accomplished anything like it. Plus, for
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some crazy-ass reason, maybe it was the adrenaline, but I was hard
again and suddenly very, very horny.
Youare amazing, Emrys, Oliver said.
No, I responded resolutely. Im scary. Trust me. Thisthis
was all a total fluke. Ive never been able to control it like this
before.
Maybe Im your good luck charm, he said, turning my face
toward his. His blue eyes were filled with emotion, appreciation,
longing and I was suddenly certain I wasnt the only one turned on.
Maybe, I whispered.
Im going to kiss you now.
Okay. The word was more of a breath than spoken.
And then He wrapped his hand around my cock and
squeezed. Im going to make you come again.
I gasped at the promise in his tone.
And then laterhe licked a path up my neck to my ear,
causing me to jerk hard with needmaybe Ill do it all over
again.
Oh fuck! I whimpered, just a second before he captured my
mouth with his and devoured it.
Over the course of the next few hours, he made good on every
promise, and I made and kept a few of my own. When we werent
madly getting each other off and trying to fuse our bodies together
however we could, we talked. And talked and talked. About
everything. About life and our dreams and what kind of food we
liked. About movies and music and video games. About family and
magick and sports. There was nothing I didnt want to know, and
he felt the same. In many ways, I think we shared more in those
few hours than we would have if wed dated for a year because we
knew this was our one shot. Because no matter how much we
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wanted to ignore it, the final tick of our clock was a constant
presence hanging over our heads.
Eventually, even though we tried desperately not to, we slept,
wrapped in each others arms. The last thing I remembered saying
to him was, Dont ever let me go.
And his last words to me were, I wont. Ever.
When I woke up, the sun was streaming in around the cracks in
the curtains and I was alone.
Oliver was gone.
The finality of it hit me hard, and I confess, I cried like a baby.
I cried and cried and cried until there was nothing leftuntil I was
as dry and barren as a desert. Until I had no choice but to accept
that from here on out, I was on my own, and somewhere far away,
Oliver was, too.

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CHAPTER 10
Sweetheart, we need to talk.
It was my mom. I think she must have been lying in wait for
me because Id pretty much been avoiding everyone for days. For
weeks. And this midnight foray into the kitchen for a snack was
supposed to have been stealth because I thought everyone was
already in bed. Now I was busted. She knew me too well.
What about? I asked, shuffling to a stop, my bare feet
scuffing at the hardwood floor in the kitchen of our old house as I
stared down, avoiding her gaze.
She let go of one of her crutches, balancing her weight on the
other, and tipped my chin up with her fingers. Her green eyes were
narrowed in concern. And sympathy. And I knew, right there on
the spot, that I wasnt going to be able to squirm my way out of
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this.
You havent been yourself since graduation, Emrys. What
happened?
I shrugged. Nothing really.
I got the eyebrow. That raised eyebrow that disappeared up
under her flaming red hair. My sisters and I pretty much always
flinched at the sight of it because it meant she wasnt going to take
any crap or accept any fibs, diversions, or attempts at escape. She
was like a master spy interrogator, and shed laid us all out at one
point or another in our lives, picking us apart bit by bit until she
had the information she wanted. Resistance was futile. And it was
even worse because even though she knew how to work us like a
hardened agent, at the same time, she managed to kill us with
kindness and sympathy until we were blubbering like wee children
and spilling all our secrets. It wouldnt have been so bad if she
wasnt so damned nice when she did it.
I sighed, knowing I wasnt going anywhere and, for the next
however long it took, my fate was in her hands. I hooked one of
my feet under the leg of a wooden chair at the kitchen table and
pulled it out. I motioned for her to sit. She looked at me and
smiled, before easing into it and propping her crutches against the
table. I pulled out the chair next to her and sank into it, then rested
my elbows on the tabletop and dropped my face into my palms,
sighing.
She stroked my back, offering comfort, and all of a sudden I
was five years old again, coming to her to make me feel better
when Id broken my favorite toy, or had had a fight with one of my
sisters.
Tell me whats on your mind. What happened after
graduation, sweetheart? Youve been sad and distant and trying
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really hard not to show it but failing miserably. You go to work,

come home, spend hours lost in your video games, never go out
with your friends, and when you do emerge, you try to time it so
you dont have to see anyone. Thats not like you at all.
I really dont want to talk about it, Mom. Cant talk about it.
Thats obvious. But wallowing never helps, Emrys.
I took offense at that and looked up at her. Im not wallowing.
I know it never helps. This is different. This is This is what
being heartbroken is, I wanted to say. Id done nothing but worry
about Oliverabout where he was, if he was safe, if my protection
amulet was helping or if something above and beyond him leaving
town had happened to him that morning hed gone. I couldnt
forget my premonition and I worried it hadnt just meant he was
leaving but that he was in actual, imminent danger that day.
Except, if he was, if something had happened, Id never know it.
And on top of all of that, I missed him. Gods I really, really missed
him.
Okay, she said, looking apologetic and brushing my hair
back out of my eyes. Bad choice of words, Im sorry. Sometimes
I forget that youre not a little boy anymore and your problems
cant be solved by bucking up and having cookies and chocolate
milk.
I swallowed back the emotion that clogged my throat and
smiled a little. I wish cookies and milk could solve everything. It
would make life a lot easier.
Yeah, it would. Adult problems, especially when theyre
problems of the heart, are never quite that simple, though, are
they?
I shook my head, fighting back tears, then realized shed
already gotten me to admit more than Id intended. How had she
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guessed I was having problems of the heart? Never mind. This was
my mom. She always knew things, even when we tried to keep
them secret. And now Id just admitted she was right.
She gathered me into her arms and hugged me. And, like a big
wuss, I found myself crying, tears slipping silently down my
cheeks. I hadnt cried since that morning Id woken up alone in the
old house. Id been so exhausted after that, Id figured I couldnt
possibly cry again. But my mom was in prime form, and had
already gotten me to break down. A part of me was mad Id let her
get to me so easily, but another part of me was glad to have her
here, to be able to share some of my burden with her, even if I
couldnt really tell her what was going on.
She murmured sweet things to me and rubbed my back and let
me cry myself out. And for a few minutes, I didnt care that I was
eighteen and should be tougher. I was more than happy to be five
again and let her take care of me.
Finally, when Id sniffed my last sniffle, I sat up and she
handed me a napkin out of the holder on the big oak table so I
could wipe my eyes and nose.
She waited patiently until Id done it, then said softly, You
met someone, didnt you? Someone special.
I nodded. That much was true and was something I could share
with her. But I didnt just meet him. It was somebody I already
knew.
And were you intimate with him?
I groaned. Mom.
Emrys, youre an adult. Youre going to have intimate
relationships, and I dont want you to ever be afraid to talk to me
about them if you need advice or just need someone to listen. I
may be your mother, but I was eighteen once, too, you know, she
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said with a smile. I know its not about hand-holding anymore.

So, did you sleep with him?
I could feel my face burning, but I nodded.
Did it not go well?
Oh gods, I cant believe Im having this conversation with my
mother. I winced, but then said, It went fine. Thatsthats part
of the problem. It was better than fine. It was My voice caught
on the lump that had returned to my throat. It was pretty much
perfect in every way.
But then?
I drew in a deep breath, trying to find some way to tell her what
happened without telling her the truth about Oliver. Id promised
him Id keep his secret, and I would, no matter what, even when
facing down my mom, the master interrogator.
But then I said slowly, he had to leave town, had to move
away.
My moms sympathy face had deepened. Thats rough, just
when things were going well for you. But on the upside, this is the
age of technology. There are always emails, texts, Skype.
No, I said, depression settling over me like a lead weight
pressing me into the earth. If only it were that simple. We cant
do those things. He movedfar. Far away and theres no way to
keep in contact. Hes completely out of touch. Wewe knew it
was going to be that way, but it doesnt make it any easier.
She patted my hand. Im sorry, honey.
Hes I sniffed again and wiped my nose with the wadded up
napkin. Hes the one, Mom. I know it in my gut, in my heart.
Thats why its so hard. Being with him was right, it was exactly
right, and I dont just mean the sex. I mean we fit, and it feltlike
it was meant to be. Like Morgans past life stuff she talks about.
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And please dont tell me that Im only eighteen and there will be
other fish in the sea. I know hes itI know it right here. He
pressed my fist to my chest.
She studied me and I could tell she was weighing my words
with her response. I was pretty much expecting her to come up
with some variation on the youre only eighteen thing, or at least
to tell me even if I thought he was the one I should keep my
options open.
Which is why it totally shocked me when instead, she wrapped
her hands around mine and said, with her eyes overflowing with
understanding, If he is the one, Emrys, if he is your soul mate,
your life mate, then youll find your way back to each other
eventually.
I stared at her, caught off guard. Do you think so? I
whispered.
I do. Life is strange sometimes. It throws things at us that, at
the moment the events are happening, we cant possibly believe or
understand they could be good in any way, we cant believe its
whats supposed to happen to us. But sometimes really hard things
that make us hurt, that make us struggle, that make us fight for
what we want, are blessings in disguise. Sometimes we have to
live through them in order to have a better appreciation of our lives
and the good things that happen.
I knew she was, in part, referring to the car accident five years
ago that had almost killed her, but instead of dying, shed been left
with crushed legs that would never let her walk normally again.
Rather than giving up, though, instead of believing the doctors,
who said shed never walk at all and would be in a wheelchair the
rest of her life, shed fought, hard, suffered through horrible pain
and agonizing months of therapy, until finally she could pull
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herself up and walk with crutches. Shed always need the crutches,
but shed learned to live with them, and all of us were infinitely
grateful that she was still with us and could live a fairly normal
life. Grateful that she was still here to give advice and hugs and pin
us down with her eagle-eyed stare when we needed an attitude
adjustment. I couldnt imagine a world without her.
So what do I do? I whispered, my voice cracking.
Justwait? Take it on faith that someday itll all work out, that
someday Ill see him again? Hope hes Id almost said hope
hes okay, but Id caught myself in time, thankfully, because that
would have brought up a bunch of questions from her that I didnt
want to have to try to answer.
Yes, was her simple response. All those things. If the
Universe meant for life to be easy, it wouldnt give us challenges.
But those challenges make us appreciate the things we have all the
more when we do get them.
I looked at her for several seconds, then folded my arms onto
the table and dropped my head onto them with a moan. This
sucks. This really, really sucks, I said. I miss him and I hate this.
And I dont know how to feel better.
She was rubbing my back again in slow, soothing circles.
There is no instant cure, honey. I wish there were and I could
make it better for you, but even magick cant help this. It just takes
time.
Great. It had been almost a month and I didnt feel better one
iota. That didnt bode well for the future.
You want to know something weird? I mumbled.
Whats that?
I told him I was a witch. I turned my head so it was still on
my arms, but so I could see her.
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He face registered her surprise. Really? Youve never told

anyone before, have you? Not even your best friends.
No. But with him it justit seemed like the right thing to do.
He actually brought it up first. Not about me, but he asked me if
there was such a thing as magick in Salem because one day, by
total accident, he saw Zelda Byrnes grandson break her living
room window by throwing a baseball through it.
Little Brucey? my mom said, shuddering. Its a wonder he
didnt do something worse. That child is a terror even on his best
days, but his parents think hes an angel. Zeldas the only one who
can control him.
Yeah, well Ol my friend saw it happen, then he saw Zelda
come out of the house and yell at Brucey andhe saw her fix the
window with magick.
Ahhhwell, that would be awkward to explain.
I guess Zelda just played it smooth, like it had never
happened. But it made him, my friend, wonder, so he asked me
what I thought. And I told him the truth.
How do you feel about that?
I knew what she was thinking. Most witches didnt share the
truth of their powers or magick in general with anyone outside
their immediate family or coven, or unless they were serious about
someone in a romantic relationshipand heck, not even then. My
sister Aradia hadnt told her fairly dull, serious, non-magick
husband about our witchy family until theyd been married two
years. Talk about having to tiptoe around when they visited usit
had been a pain in the butt. But then again, Aradia was the one of
us whod never cared about her powers and had moved to Boston
as soon as she could to go to law school. Now she was a perfectly
boring corporate attorney and so was her husband.
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I sat up and crossed my legs Indian style in the chair. I feel

good about telling him. He didnt freak out or anything. Not really.
But he did want proof.
I thought you said he saw Zelda fix her window.
Yeah, but it wasnt direct. He saw it broken, then he looked up
at it again and it was fine. He didnt see the actual fixing. So when
I told him about me, he wanted to see something.
Oh boy. Even my mom knew me doing magick was asking
for trouble. Howd that go? she asked, wincing.
Well, thats the weird part. Really weird. He wanted me to
light a candleand I did.
Meaning
Meaning I did it, Mom. Like, no craziness, no explosions, no
scorch marks, nothing. I justlit it. And then he put it out and I
did it again. And thenI made the whole candle holder float for
like ten seconds, and set it down safe and sound.
I could tell she was as shocked as Id been the night it had
happened. Emrys! Thats amazing! What were you doing
differently from any other time?
Thats the thing, I wasnt doing anything different. Absolutely
nothing different from any of the other hundreds of times Ive tried
to do stuff like that. But for the first time, when I focused on what I
wanted, it actually, miraculously, happened like it was supposed
to.
She was studying me again, this time like she was trying to
pick apart everything Id said, like a puzzle, to see if she could find
a pattern. Were you thinking about anything different?
No.
Had you been drinking?
No! Mom!
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Okay, I was just curious.

The only thing, really, that was different at all was that I was
with
Him. You were with your friend.
Yeah. He said maybe he was my good luck charm. I guess in a
way he was, but I dont know why.
Have you tried to do any magick since then? Tried to light any
candles? And if you have, more importantly, has it worked?
I snorted. Didnt you smell the smoke coming from my room
last week? Or see the new big black burn mark in the middle of my
bedroom floor? No, it didnt work. Im back to being completely
pathetic and useless as a witch.
She didnt say anything, instead seeming to be lost deep in
thought, which wasnt unusual when she was working through
some knotty puzzle or problem. She had a mind like a computer at
times, weighing and analyzing data. Shed gotten her degree in
physics, back in the day, before she and my dad were married and
decided to open the store. My dad always said, when she got like
this, that we should have seen her in college, tearing apart
professors theories and making them rethink their research. He
always said it with this proud look on his face, and a smirk, like
hed loved every second of watching her do it. Mostly I just found
it a little scaryespecially when she was tearing apart the data in
my life to find answers. Right now, though, I didnt bother her
because I knew eventually shed ask me more questions. Thats
how she worked.
I didnt have to wait long. Was heyour friendby any
chance touching you when you were doing the magick?
What do you mean by touching? Gods, was she asking me if
we were like sexually touching? Agh! I didnt want to talk to her
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about something like that!

I swear she knew what I was thinking because her lips tilted up
in a little smile and her eyes suddenly sparkled with humor, which
was totally embarrassing. But then she sobered and said, I just
mean was he in contact with you when you were doing it. Was any
part of him touching youhis hand, or maybe you were sitting
side by side and your shoulders or legs were brushing?
Well, yeah, actually. He was sitting behind me, sort of
hugging me. The memory played out in my head and caused me
to feel a warm pulse of need as I remembered Oliver kissing my
neck, and how, toward the end, his erection has been pressed
against my lower back. I wasnt about to tell my mom wed been
naked when all this happened, though. No way. Following quickly
on the heels of the little surge of desire, however, came a dull pang
of sadness that squeezed my chest, making it hard to breathe,
reminding me that Oliver was goneand I wasnt going to ever
feel his touch again.
My mom seemed to sense my thoughts again, or at least my
mood, because she reached out and stroked my hair. So he was
holding you, she said gently.
I nodded. Do you think Would that make a difference?
She looked thoughtful for a few seconds. I hadnt thought
about it in years, but this reminds me of something your Aunt
Helen once told me about.
Aunt Helen was actually my great aunt, my moms aunt, whod
died when I was little. I didnt really remember her, except for a
vague image in my mind of a woman working in a garden, wearing
a huge straw hat with fake flowers glued all over it.
She once told me a story, my mom said, about a dear friend
of hers whod never had much success with her magick.
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Untilshe went on a safari in Africa. While she was there,

suddenly, her magick began to work well for her. Things that shed
never been able to do, she suddenly could. When she got home,
she told Aunt Helen that she credited it to some kind of mystical
experience she must have had while in Africa. Aunt Helen, on the
other hand, had a different theory.
Like what? Because I certainly havent been to Africa.
Aunt Helen said that what her friend wasnt considering was
that her repaired magick wasnt all she came home with.
I lifted an eyebrow in question.
Mom smiled. She also came home with a man. The love of her
life shed met while on safari. He was British, I believe. Or maybe
an Aussie. In any case, they met on the safari, and were married
before they ever left Africa. They were, apparently, inseparable,
and for the rest of their lives were never far from each other.
Sowhats the point?
The point is that Aunt Helen always doubted her friends
mystical experience theory and instead accredited her sudden
magickal improvement to her friends love life. She believed that
the man, her friends true love, was sort of anaide to her
magick.
I frowned. An aide? Like whataa familiar or something?
Something like that. Witches familiars are, traditionally,
animals, not humans, but I suppose thats not a bad analogy. Aunt
Helen thought that perhaps the man was a stabilizer.
Huh?
Okay, let me put it into more practical terms for you. Magick
is kind of like a nuclear reactor. The way a nuclear reactor works is
by causing chain reactions that give off heat that can be used for
energy. But if those chain reactions arent modified somehow to
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keep them in check, then everything gets overheated and you have
nuclear meltdown. So nuclear reactors need something to act as a
moderator, like water, to keep them steady. Magick is kind of like
that in that its created by us giving off energy to effect a reaction.
Most people with magick powers have natural moderators built
into their abilities. But if someone didnt, like for example
Me, I supplied.
She nodded. Like you, then each time you try to do magick
its a like a nuclear reactor going into meltdown. But if something
or someone were able to act as a moderator for you, then
Then I could do magick without a meltdown, I said slowly,
letting her words process. Holy crap. Do you really think thats
possible? That thats what was happening when he was touching
me and I could light the candles without any trouble?
I dont know. Butits not a bad theory, if I must say so
myself, because it would explain why youve always had so much
trouble and why the results of your attempts at magick have often
been unpredictable and somewhatenergetic.
I snorted again. Somewhat energetic? Thats an
understatement. More like bombs waiting to happen. But I
frowned. What is it about Ol him that makes it work for me?
Does he have some kind of superpower or something that just
happens to work on me?
No, I dont think he has a superpower. She smiled. I think
its more likely that hes simply the person youve bonded with.
You have a connection with him, a deep heart or perhaps even a
soul connection with him thatbalances you. Like Aunt Helens
friend and her husband.
A part of me felt a little giddy to hear my mom say I was
bonded with Oliver, and to maybe finally have some insight into
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my magick problems. But then reality hit me hard like a blow to

the gut, and I slumped back onto the table with my face buried in
my arms.
What is it, honey?
I dragged in a ragged breath, then mumbled, So hes the cure
for my magick ailments, great. Hes my soul mate, my bond mate
of the heart or whatever you want to call him. In the end it doesnt
matterbecause Im here, and hes not. Hes gone, Mom. I
choked on the words. Hes gone and the chances of me ever
seeing him again are so small I cant even let myself hope.
Emrys, my darling boy, she said softly, stroking a hand over
my hair. Theres always room for hope.

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CHAPTER 11
Three and a half years later
Hope. That was all I had left when it came to the poor,
bedraggled beast lying on a soft rug in the bottom of the cage.
Wed done everything we could for him. My brother-in-law
GeoffDr. Farringtonhad used every trick he knew, both
veterinary and magickal, to save the poor things life, and the rest
of us had coddled and encouraged and begged him to hang in
there, to fight. But now, we all knew there was nothing left to try.
Wed started calling the battered and broken tabby cat Rocky
because he was such a mess, but somehow, he still kept fighting
and hanging in there like Rocky Balboa in the movies. He was
getting weaker, though, and we all knew it. Geoff said that if there
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was still no improvement by the time he returned in the morning,

the only merciful thing left to do was put him down.
Rocky had touched a place in our hearts, maybe because of
how hed been foundsomeone had run him over with a car, then
either they or someone else had picked him up and instead of
bringing him in for help had tossed him into a trash Dumpster
behind the Dunkin Donuts on Canal Street. Thankfully, one of the
workers had found him when shed been taking out the trash late
that night and had rushed him in here to the emergency vet clinic
where I worked four nights a week.
The clinic was run by Geoff, my sister Morgans husband. He
was a witch like she was, and the clinic had one of the best
reputations in Salem for helping animalsprobably because Geoff
supplemented his veterinary knowledge with his gift of healing
magick, though most of his clients never knew that. Morgan was
an animal lover like Geoff, and I knew that if poor Rocky did make
it, Morgan would give him a home in a heartbeat, amongst the rest
of her rescued menagerie.
But tonight the clinic was quiet, almost oddly so. Maybe it was
the weathera storm had moved in and snow had started falling a
couple of hours ago. It was eleven oclockan hour until quitting
time for me. I usually worked from seven to midnight. The pay
wasnt huge, but it allowed me to make some extra money to buy
gas and other necessities, and because the clinic was open 24/7 I
could work nights, which made it easy to mesh with my college
classes. I liked it enough I was kind of toying with the idea of
going to vet school one day. Maybe. Geoff was trying to talk me
into it. But first I had to survive a couple more semesters at Salem
State. I wasnt in any hurry to make any big decisions about
anything.
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One of the vet techs, Regina Sanchez, and I were the only ones
manning the clinic tonight. Geoffs partner who was on duty, Dr.
Aubrey, had gone home since things were so quiet, but he lived
only a couple of blocks away so if an emergency came in, we
could call him and hed be here in just a few minutes. Geoff and
Morgan lived close as well, so there was always a doctor handy if
needed. For now, though, Regina was giving the animals their
nightly doses of meds, and I was filling their water bowls and also
keeping an eye on the reception desk in case anyone wandered in.
Id paused to give Rocky a few gentle caresses before I went
back out to the desk, and I hopedreally, really hoped that hed
still be here tomorrow night when I came in to work. Youve
gotta hang in there, bud. Youve got a lot of people pulling for
you. I gave his ear a gentle scritch and he leaned into it, which
made me happy to see. He was too weak to move or meow or even
purr, but that slight little lean into my touch gave me a tiny bit of
hope.
A slow night, Regina said, as she passed by me, headed to
the med cabinet.
No kidding. It must be the snow.
Yeah, probably. On the other hand, its nice to see the white
stuff, finally, since its December and the holidays are almost
here!
I nodded halfheartedly.
The truth was, I was having a hard time getting excited about
the holidays this year. Actually, for the last few years. Something
about seeing my sisters and their assorted significant others
husbands, boyfriends, crap, even Willow had a boyfriend this
yearholding hands and snuggling and generally spreading their
mushy couple happiness around like someone gone hogwild with a
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vat of love confetti, tended to get me down. I knew it was my own

issue, and I was happy for all of them, truly, but yet again this year
Id be the odd man out.
Emrys, are you being all bah-humbug again? Regina chided.
Im not bah-humbug at all. I love the solstice, and Christmas. I
just I shrugged.
You just need a man in your life to share the holidays with,
mijo. She smiled and bumped the cabinet door closed with her
hip. I dont know why you wont let me set you up with my
cousin Javier. Youd like him. You guys have some things in
common and hes a nice boy.
Im sure he is. Im just not ready to go there again after the
last time I tried to date someone.
She rolled her eyes. You didnt date him. Your sister
introduced you to him, you went out to coffee with him twice and
then declared that he wasnt your type and never called him again.
Well, I said, defensively, he wasnt my type. Hed never
heard of Assassins Creed or Skyrim, and when I asked him what
games he did like to play, he said Clue. Clue! Who, over the age of
twelve, for gods sake, likes to play Clue? And he was all My
words tapered off.
All blond and muscular and totally hot? Please! Id play
anything with him he wanted. He was everybodys type, even
mine.
Im just not really into that whole blondbuffthing, I
murmured, lying through my teeth. I gave Rocky one last stroke,
then shut his cage.
As I turned away to strip off the latex gloves I was wearing,
Regina gave me another eye roll. I think youre just too picky.
Youre holding out, waiting for the perfect man to appear on your
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doorstep. But, Emrys, theres no such thing as a perfect man. She

patted me on the back. Trust me. I sure havent found him yet,
and Ive been married twice already. And at the age of thirty, thats
sayin something.
Yeah, but I wasnt sure what it was saying. I looked at her
skeptically. Im not too picky. I just know what I want.
And besides, I already knew there was such a thing as a perfect
man. Perfect for me, at least. Id had him once. For a very short
time. And it wasnt my fault no one else had ever been able to
stack up. After the first year had gone by, I started getting all kinds
of crap from my sisters, and from Jeannie and Lee, about never
dating, so Id tried. Id attempted to push all thoughts of Oliver to
the back of my mind and get on with life so to speak. Except no
one Id gone out with had ever done it for me like he had. Id even
tried, for a while, to go clubbing with a friend of mine from
college, Tyler. Id hooked up with a few guys for drinks and
dancing, had even seen a couple of them more than once, but in the
end, none of them were long-term material. In front of my friends I
tried to pretend I simply wasnt interested in long-term right now,
that I wanted to play the field, not limit myself. But it was a baldfaced lie. I did want long-term. Just not with any of them.
My mom knew the truth, and I often caught her looking at me
with a worried expression. Shed even tried talking to me about it a
few times, saying that there was no harm in going out and having
some fun. I think she was regretting ever telling me that I shouldnt
give up hope and that if Oliver and I were meant to be, wed find
each other again. Im pretty sure she was somehow blaming herself
for encouraging me to be a martyr.
I didnt feel like a martyr though, or like I was pining away.
Not exactly. Mostly I just felt like I hadnt met anyone else who
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could compare, so why bother? But for my moms sake, to get that
worried look off her face, I tried to put on my happy smile and
socialize. Id even brought a couple of guys home for the
occasional meal, just to put her mind at ease. She knew me too
well, though, and Im sure I wasnt pulling any wool over her eyes.
Regina sighed, then smiled at me. Well, mijo, I think one of
these days, in the not too distant future, when you absolutely least
expect it, someones going to walk into your life and its not going
to matter if hes perfect, or what he looks like, or what games he
does or doesnt know how to playhes going to take your breath
away and you are going to fall like Superman to kryptonite.
I bit my lip and tried not to smile. What, and lose my super
powers? Never.
She chuckled and gave me gentle smack on the back of the
head as she passed me again. Smart ass. Im going to go check on
the dogs in the big kennels in the back.
Okay. Ill be slaving away, updating the charts at the desk so
everythings ready for Joel when he comes in at midnight.
Holler if you need me, she said, then disappeared through the
swinging doors that led to the room where we kept the larger
animals that needed to stay over for care.
I gave Rocky one last look and a whispered plea to hang in
there, then pushed up the sleeves of my blue denim shirt and the
white lab coat I wore when I was working at the clinic, and washed
my hands. When I finished, I returned to the reception desk.
I hadnt even sat in the chair at the computer yet when I heard
the chime on the clinics front door go off, and felt an icy blast of
air curl through the waiting room.
Brrr! Not only was it snowing, it was getting damn cold out
there.
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I looked up to greet the person whod entered. Hi, how can

I
The words caught in my throat and my heart stalled. When it
started beating again, it pounded like a jackhammer gone mad.
Holy shit, I whispered.
Hi, Emrys. The words were softly spoken, a little hoarse, but
that voice was so unmistakably his. A voice I thought Id never
hear again.
Oliver I still couldnt speak past a whisper. I think because
I couldnt breathe.
A smile slid fleetingly across his lips, but he looked as shaken
as I felt, with uncertainty shimmering in his eyes that were just as
blue and beautiful as ever. His gloveless hands curled and uncurled
at his sides in a sign of quiet anxiety. He wore jeans, boots, and a
blue down jacket, and had a backpack slung over one shoulder. As
I watched, he pushed the jackets hood back off his head, revealing
longer hair than hed had in the past, the dark blond strands damp
and falling onto his forehead and curling over his ears. And once
again he had the sexy facial scruff that he wore so well.
He lookedolder. More mature. And troubled. But, dear gods,
so amazingly handsome that if I already couldnt get air into my
lungs, hed have stolen my breath.
Is this a bad time? His voice was still so quiet.
No, its fine, I managed to get out. How did you know
where to find me? Gods, of all the things for me to say after not
seeing him for three and a half years, Id come up with that?
Another one of those fleeting but disquieted smiles crossed his
face. Facebook. Your profiles mostly set to private, but it had
where you worked. Emrys, Im so sorry to come here. Its just
that His voice caught. I really need to talk to you. Its
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important.
My stomach twisted in an instant knot while my heart leapt up
into my throat. I suddenly knew he wouldnt have come here if
something hadnt gone wrong, and what that wrong might be
terrified me.
Regina, Im going to grab a quick break, I called without
ever taking my gaze off Oliver. Can you keep an eye on the desk
for a few?
Sure, no problem, she said from somewhere in the depths of
the clinic.
Without waiting for her, I went around the desk, grabbed
Olivers cold hand, and pulled him along with me down to the end
of the hallway and into one of the animal exam rooms. The lights
were off except for a glow coming from the X-ray reader on the
wall. I shut the door, then turned to face him.
He stood in front of me, smelling like cold and snow but also
something warm and clean and spicy that swirled through my
senses, settling in my chest, and, gods help me, deep in my groin.
After all this time, I still wanted him as much as ever.
He dropped his backpack to the floor, and suddenly his hands
were cupping the back of my head and he was kissing me, fiercely,
deeply, with so much hunger and so much painful loneliness it left
me shaking and clinging to him, my hands clutched at the front of
his jacket to keep him close.
And then it was over, and he was leaning back. Oh God, Im
sorry, he said, looking at me with those troubled eyes. II
shouldnt have done that. I know its been a long time and you
probably have somebody in your life, and
I dont, I said, not even letting him finish. Theres no one
else.
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His eyes widened and he drew in a shaking breath.

Is there for you? I asked. Someone else?
No! God no. Its always been you.
My eyes burning, I dragged him back to me and whispered
against his lips, Its only ever been you for me, too. And then we
were kissing again, and all those damned wretched weeks and
months and years were behind us and we were together again and
that was all that mattered.
I couldnt get close enough to him and he seemed to feel the
same. Need you, I whispered. Oh gods, OliverI need you.
Me, too. Always need you. Its never stopped
Somehow, with minimal movement, and never breaking the
kiss, he had my jeans open, and moments later I had his the same.
Hands slid over hard, leaking shafts, squeezing and stroking, his
cold at first on my heat, but then warming quickly until, soon, I felt
like I was going to burn up inside. His hand knew exactly what I
craved, and I mimicked it with my own on him. It was quick and
urgent and we kept our voices low, silencing each other by
swallowing all the little grunts and whimpers that escaped under
cover of our kissing. It didnt take long. When we came, cum
spilling out over our hands, we both shuddered and quietly moaned
our relief.
Oh my God, he whispered. Thisus
I know, I whispered back, my body still trembling and my
head spinning.
But with the reality of knowing Regina was just down the hall
and I was supposed to be working, and Oliver still had that haunted
look on his face, I somehow found the presence of mind to grab
some tissues out of the box on the cabinet and wipe us up. I would
have given anything to be able to linger, but now wasnt the time.
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I dont care whats going on, I whispered again against his

mouth, not wanting to be too far away from him, but needing him
to know up front how I was feeling. Whatever happens, why ever
youre here, Im not letting you go again.
You need to hear everything first. You may never want to
have anything else to do with me after what I have to tell you.
No. It doesnt matter what you tell me, I wont change my
mind. I cant stand by and watch you walk away again. I wont do
it.
Im being hunted, Emrys he said, cupping my cheek. Three
days ago I almost His face filled with remembered pain and his
hand on my face shook, which, quite frankly, shook me. Dear
gods, what had happened to him?
They know everythingwho I was in the past, who I was here
in Salemand theyre trying to find connections they can use to
get to me, to my dad.
How? How do they know? Did your mom
I think so. A month ago she left my dad to be with that other
man. He claimed he wanted out of the business, and so she talked
to the feds, got him protection and the two of them moved in
together in a different town. But then stuff started happeningmy
dad was shot at on his way home from work a few days ago. They
missed, but it scared the crap out of him. And that same night,
someone waylaid me as I was walking back to my apartment after
one of my night classes. II fought the guy off and ran like hell,
but he fired a shot at me and I barely got away.
Oliver! I breathed, staring at him in horror.
We went to the feds, obviously, but theres something going
on. My dad thinks maybe one of the agents or marshals is
involved. I have a different theory. I think the bastard my mom is
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with is just a plant by the organization, a way to find info on us so

they can get to us. Because they seem to know everythingthe
names we used, where weve been. My dad thinks its a bad fed
because of that, but its all stuff my mom would know, too. Stuff
that she might have shared with her lover if she believed he was
really trying to start over. I dont think shed intentionally put us in
danger, but if the guy was smooth-talking her, playing on her
sympathies by making her believe he wants to start a new clean
life, then who knows what she might have told him. The feds have
my dad in lockdown for his protection, but as soon as I found out
the organization was looking into our pasts, making connections
with places weve been and people weve known He looked at
me pointedly. I couldnt stay there. I had to make sure.
Make sure what?
Emrys, somehow they know everything.
A cold knot formed in the pit of my stomach as what he was
saying began to sink in. Everything. Meaningthey know about
us? But how is that possible? We werent together except right
before you left. And no one ever saw us. We were at the old house,
and then you were gone.
Olivers face grew a new shade of pale. They might know
because I told my parents about you that morning, he whispered.
He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. God, how could I
have been so stupid? If I had known Fuck!
You told them?
He nodded. That morningI never wanted to leave you. You
know that. By the time I got home and the moving truck was just
finishing loading and my parents were pissed at each other as
always, but they and a marshal were waiting for me, it all just hit
me hard. So I asked the marshal, with my parents standing there, if
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there was any way I didnt have to go. Could I stay and have it be
safe for me and for anyone I was close to. The marshal, of course,
said no, there was no safe way to stay. My mom got kind of snarky
then, and asked me, why, did you finally find a girl? The way she
said it pissed me off because remember, they wanted to sweep the
fact I was gay under the rug and wanted me to pretend to be
straight. I was already in a foul mood and my heart was being
ripped out because of having to leave you, so I kinda lost it. I told
her, them, that no, it wasnt a girl. It was a guy, and that I didnt
want to leave him.
His shoulders slumped. I said your name, Emrys. Not your
last name, but I definitely mentioned you by name. So
nowtheyre looking for ways to get to us, to me. They want to
find me to get to my dad, to punish him. And with them knowing
so much information, Im afraid He shook his head. Im afraid
its only a matter of time before they come here, before they look
for you.
I sucked in a ragged breath as cold fear spread through me.
I came back here to warn you, and to do whatever I can to
make sure they dont hurt you. But I dont know if Ive done the
right thing. I struggled over whether I should come because what if
theyre following me and I lead them straight to you? If they find
me here, theyll kill us both. On the other hand, how could I sit in
some safe house somewhere knowing theyre hunting down leads
from our past, knowing, if my mom is involved, that sooner or
later your name could come up, and leave you here exposed and
unsuspecting? I couldnt do that.
So you risked your life to come here to warn me? Oliver, you
should be in that safe house! I wanted to shout, but I kept my
voice low so Regina wouldnt hear us. My gods, youre the one
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theyre after. Im just a maybe. You dont even know if they know
about me. Your mom does, yeah, but you dont know that the bad
guys even suspect I exist. You shouldnt have risked yourself for
me!
Emrysdont you understand? His voice sounded broken. I
cant lose you. I cant let anything happen to you.
My eyes burned. I dont want anything to happen to you
either, damn it!
So what do we do? he said.
It was the same question Id asked him that night in the old
house after hed told me he was leaving. But unlike then, I wasnt
a hopeless, starry-eyed eighteen-year-old anymore. Like Id told
ReginaI knew what I wanted. And I wasnt willing to give in or
give up so easily. Even though a part of me wished Oliver was
somewhere far away from here, in a safe house under the U.S.
Marshals Service protection, nothing Id told him earlier had
changed. There was no way I could stand by and let him walk
away again.
I reached up and gripped his coat tightly in my hands. Let me
say this again. I am not letting you go again. Whatever comes to
pass, whatever decision we make, this time were going to face it
together.
His eyes grew dark with emotion, and his voice, when he
spoke, was hoarse. Emrys He pulled me against him and held
me like he was afraid if he eased up for even a second I was the
one who was going to walk away from him. Which was never, ever
going to happen. Now that I had him back, I wasnt letting go.
Ive missed you so damn much, he whispered against my
hair.
Ive missed you, too. Not a days gone by that I havent
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thought of you.
Im so sorry. That morning, that horrible morning, as I
watched you sleep, you dont know how close I came to begging
you to run away with me.
I leaned back and stared at him. I would have, I said softly.
He cupped my cheek, his hand now warm and smelling faintly
of cum. I know. But in the end I couldnt drag you into the hell of
my life, couldnt risk you getting hurt. He shook his head and
winced. And now by spouting off my mouth that morning after
graduation, Ive done exactly that anyway.
Its going to be okay, I said fiercely. I had to believe that.
Youve never given me up, youve kept my secret all this
time.
Of course I have.
Youre the only person in this whole damn world I trust,
Emrys. But Im not going to deny Im scared as hell to be here.
I wound my fingers through his and gently squeezed. I was
shaking, too, at this point, and his fear was palpable, seeping into
my veins and invading every part of me until I felt it as intensely as
he did.
Suddenly remembering the conversation Id had with my mom
that day so many years ago, about magick and me and Oliver, I
decided to try my hand at something Id never done beforea
simple calming spell. Hopefully, if my mom was right and I hadnt
imagined the magick Id done in the old house with Oliver, this
would work without making anything worse. Goddess, please
dont let it make anything worse!
Close your eyes, I whispered to him.
He looked at me for a second, but then did it without even
asking why.
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I pressed one of his palms to my chest on top of my shirt, and

placed my hands over it. Breathe with me, I said. Feel me
taking in a breath and letting it out, and as you feel it, you breathe
that way, too. Okay?
He nodded, and I closed my eyes. I drew in a slow, deep
breath, forcing my mind to clear of everything except my
breathing. His breathing. Slow and easy.
When we were in sync I opened a channel to my magick, but
instead of sending it out in a burst like I usually would, I tried to
mold it, shape it into a bubble of white light around us. I imagined
that inside the bubble there was only peace and calm and beauty,
and no matter what happened outside it, inside of it was safeand
there was only the breathingonly the beating of our hearts.
Slowly, I felt his tension ease, which in turn eased mine.
Now, open your eyes, I said, keeping my voice quiet and
calm.
He did, his gaze meeting mine, filled with a warm emotion that
caused my heart to melt.
Better? I asked.
He drew in several breaths and released them, then nodded, a
hint of surprise on his face. Yeah. How did you do that?
Magick?
It was my turn to nod.
Your magickyou have control over it now?
Only with you. When Im not with you, no, its the same crap
as always. But if youre touching methen I can do it.
He looked at me wonderingly. How? Why?
Its kind of a theory, but its too long to go into right now.
Look, we cant really talk anymore here, not the way we need to.
And I want I wanted to take him home, strip off all his clothes,
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kiss and touch and be close to him. I wanted him inside me.
I know. Me, too, he said, as if he could read my mind. Crap,
maybe he could. Or maybe it was the raw need that was probably
all over my face right now.
I get off at midnight. I checked my watch. It was eleventhirty. Will you be okay waiting here while I finish up? Then we
can go home andand talk some more. Figure out what to do.
Yeah, Ill be fine. Go.
Youll be here? You promise? I realized how desperate I
suddenly sounded, but I didnt care. I couldnt bear the thought of
him leaving.
He pulled me against him and pressed a kiss to my lips. Ill be
here. I promise.
Kay. Nobody will bother you or even know youre here if
you stay in this room. Its dead tonight, theres not even a vet here,
and there are plenty of other exam rooms if someone does come in
with a pet to be seen. Just sit tight and Ill be back in a little bit.
Ill be here.
I lingered for a moment, uncertain.
He wound his fingers through mine and squeezed. Emrys, I
wont leave. I swear.
I swallowed hard. Then I nodded and pulled my hand free.
Walking out that door was one of the hardest things Id ever
done because I couldnt shake the fear that as quickly as hed
walked back into my life, he might disappear again.

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CHAPTER 12
Regina looked at me oddly when I returned from down the
hallway. She was working in the back room, but was keeping her
eye on the desk and the waiting room. Everything okay? she
asked.
Yeah. A friend stopped by, I said, without offering any other
details. Thanks for keeping an eye on the front. Im back now,
though, so you can finish up your other stuff.
She gave me squinty-eyed look, then smiled.
What?
If I didnt know better because I know you so well, Id almost
think you snuck off to have a quickie with someone. You look a
little flushed.
I pressed my hands to my cheeks. Was I? Thinking fast I said,
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Very funny. Then I forced a smile. Nah, I just walked my friend

out the side door to his car. Its cold out there, so its probably
from that.
She gave me another look, but must have decided to accept my
excuse because she turned and went back to her work.
I couldnt see the exam room Oliver was in from where I was
sitting, but I kept my ears trained on any sounds that might be the
door opening. Then I shook my head, pissed at myself, because I
realized what I was doing was not trusting him. I was expecting
him to leave, but hed promised hed stay. I had to believe him.
I was also, however, keeping an eye on the front door. I
couldnt deny what hed told me had me spooked. Did I have to
worry about someone coming in the door and gunning me down?
If Oliver had found my workplace on Facebook, then anyone
could. Damn it, I was computer savvy enough to know better than
to give out too much information on the Internet. Thats why I had
my privacy settings clamped down on Facebook and other social
networking sites. But clearly not clamped down enough. I was
going to have to remedy that immediately.
In fact, it bothered me so much, I pulled out my smartphone,
logged into my Facebook app, and without giving it a second
thought, deleted my account. No friend on there, no picture, no like
or comment was worth Olivers or my life. I quickly found the
couple of other sites I used and did the same.
Taking a small breath of relief, I shoved my phone back in my
pocket, then buckled down to do my job.
I scrambled fast to finish my work, and by the time Joel,
another one of the vet techs, came in at five to twelve, I had
everything done. While he and Regina went in the back so she
could go over the charts with him and get him up to speed, I
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quickly slipped out of my lab coat, hanging it on the hook in my

locker, and slid my arms into my navy wool pea coat and pulled on
my hat and gloves.
Im heading out now, I called to them, then without waiting
for them to respond or come see me off, I practically sprinted
down the hallway, and opened the door to the exam room to find
Oliver standing just inside the door, ready to go, his backpack over
his shoulder. He gave me a brief, pale smile, and I grabbed his
hand and hauled him out the side door to my trusty twelve-year-old
Subaru. The moment we were in it, I cranked the engine and turned
up the heater. It was fricking freezing! The snow was coming
down harder and the wind had kicked up, making visibility less
than stellar.
We didnt really talkit was too damn cold, for one thing, and
my heater was slow to kick in tonight. But Oliver settled one of his
hands on my thigh, and in spite of the icy temperature, the heat
from his hand seared into me and slowly but surely got me hot and
bothered simply by being there.
Are we going to your house? he asked, as I turned onto Canal
Street. The vet clinic was near the university, but I turned toward
the heart of Salem. Or do you live in the dorm?
No dormI didnt want my parents to have the extra expense.
I lived at home until a couple of months ago. Now I live in the
studio apartment over the store. The gal who lived there for the
past few years, she used to be the store manager, got married and
moved away, so my parents offered the apartment to me if I
wanted it.
Nice.
Yeah, its kinda nice to have my own place. It had been
strangely lonely at first, but the peace had grown on menot
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having to listen to Willow practicing her flute night and day had
been the biggest bonus. I loved the girl, but between the flute and
her constant motor-mouth talking, a little quiet was one of my
favorite things these days.
I noticed Oliver looking in the rearview mirror several times as
I drove, and his head was constantly turning as he looked all
around us.
A jolt of fear scudded up my spine. Are you afraid someone
saw you go to the clinic and might be following us?
I dont think so. I was being really careful, and I hitchhiked
most of the way to Salem instead of using any kind of traceable
transportation. But I just dont want to take any chances. Im
scared for you, scared of bringing attention to you.
I rested my hand on top of his and squeezed. Its going to be
okay, I said again, sounding surprisingly more calm than I felt
inside.
I hope so.
When we got to the store, we parked and went up the back
stairs to the door. I unlocked it and it was a relief to get in out of
the cold and snow. I relocked it behind us and slid home the
deadbolt, then I switched the light on, and we stood for a few
seconds, just catching our breath. Eventually, I took off my gloves
and hat and tossed them in the chair by the door.
No one can hurt us in here, I told him. It was one of the
reasons I wanted to bring him home with me rather than go
somewhere else.
What do you mean?
My parents have a protection spell covering the whole
buildingthe store and the apartment. They have one around their
house, too. Always have. It keeps away burglars and bad guys, and
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as long as youre inside the perimeter, no one with ill intensions

can get in and harm you.
He looked startled. Really?
I nodded and smiled. One of the perks of being in a witch
family. And now youre part of it, too.
That seemed to catch him off guard and some unknown
emotion flared in his eyes. I am? he asked quietly.
You have to ask? I moved to him and began unzipping his
jacket. When it was unfastened, I opened it and pushed it over his
shoulders, then down his arms and off. I took off my own coat as
well, and threw both on the chair.
My place is yours, Oliver. My family is yours. I took one of
his hands, like I had at the clinic, and held it against my chest.
And anything else you want.
His chest rose and fell, and then his hand curled into my shirt
and he was pulling me toward him. Anything? he whispered, his
gaze intense and his voice husky.
Oh, yeah I recognized and remembered that husky tone. I
remembered it well. Heat flared through me, in sleek, rolling
waves. Anything.
His mouth crashed onto mine with as much hunger as it had
during that first kiss at the vet clinic, and I responded with equal
greed. He began to work at the buttons on my shirt, and then it was
open and being shoved off. He was wearing a button-down as well,
blue and green plaid, and I only got about three or four of the
topmost buttons undone before I lost patience, slid my hands up
underneath it, and dragged it over his head.
The first thing I noticed was that he was wearing the amulet my
grandfather had made. You still have it, I said softly.
Of course I do. I never take it off except when Im in the
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shower. Its always made me feel closer to you.

I smiled and stood on tiptoes to kiss him gently on the lips.
Then I went back to admiring what Id uncovered by taking off his
shirt.
FuckId forgotten how beautiful he was. And he hadnt lost
an ounce of the muscle hed had beforehe still had broad
shoulders, gorgeous biceps and pecs, and trim abs. Wherever hed
been, whatever hed been doing, hed obviously stayed in good
shape. It made me wish Id tried harder to hone my thinner frame
into something more impressive. But then I saw how Oliver was
looking at me, devouring me with his eyes, and that little bit of
worry that I wasnt impressive enough for him fled like so much
mist.
What I didnt like, however, was the sight of the ugly black and
blue marks across his ribs. I touched gently with my fingertips. Is
this from
Yeah. The guy came at me from behind. I was walking
through the park, it was dark, and he must have been hiding behind
a tree. I thought it was a mugger at first, until I found out what had
happened to my dad that same day. He tackled me and threw me to
the ground. Thishe touched the bruises and wincedis where
I hit the boulders that lined the path.
I scowled and rubbed my fingers over the amulet. This was
supposed to keep you safe. But obviously it didnt stop him from
attacking you.
Olivers hand settled over mine. For three and a half years, I
was safe for the most part. And, quite honestly, for all we know, it
might have saved my life a few nights ago. I told you, once I broke
away from the guy and ran, he fired a shot at me. He missed.
Maybe, if I hadnt been wearing it
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The thought sent a sucker punch of horror straight to my gut.

Hed been shot at and if that bullet had found its mark, he would
have been gone forever and I never would have known.
Hey. Tipping my face up, he forced me to look at himI
hadnt realized Id looked down and had closed my eyes. Im here
and safe. Its okay.
I swallowed hard and nodded.
He brushed my lips with his and said again, Im here.
I slid my hands into his hair and pulled him back to me. Dont
leave me. Please. I knew I sounded clingy, but I couldnt stop the
words from coming out again.
I wont, he promised.
I need you, Oliver.
Need you, too. Always.
His hands slid down my bare back to cup my ass through my
jeans. He kissed my neck, sending a new bolt of lightning straight
to my groin, and when his tongue slid to my ear, playing with my
earring, and then venturing inside, I shuddered in his arms and
pressed against him, seeking out the hard bulge in his jeans with
my own. I grabbed his ass and pulled him closer. We ground
together, with him still licking and kissing my ear and neck, and
when he started sucking, and it stung in that perfect, deep, erotic
way, I knew he was pulling up marks. Marks I wanted him to give
me because I needed to know I belonged to him again. Belong to
him still. I tipped my head back for him, and breathing hard,
continued to shudder in his arms.
Suddenly, he growled, Bed. Now.
Somehow we made it across the room to my futon, kissing and
fondling and undoing snaps and zippers on our jeans as we went.
He picked me up, and I clung to him, legs wrapped around his
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waist, as he lowered me to the mattress and into that familiar and

oh-so-close position of being on my back underneath his ripped
body, skin-to-skin.
He slid slowly downward, kissing his way over my chest,
swirling his tongue around my nipples with an occasional pinch of
teeth that made me hiss in agonized pleasure, then tonguing his
way down my abdomen. When he got to my jeans, which were
now undone but still in place, he slowly peeled them open to
expose my boxers. Those he pulled down with a finger, until my
cock leapt free.
Shit. Still as hot and gorgeous as ever, he said, licking over
the crown and gathering up the bead of spunk that clung to the tip.
I let out a soft cry at both the sight of his blond head bent over
me, and the sensation of his rough tongue scraping over my ubersensitive flesh and burrowing into my slit. My fingers clawed at
the sheets next to me, while my hips lifted off the bed, begging for
more.
Which he gave. Rising up, he grabbed my jeans on either side
of my hips and tugged them and my boxers down, all the way
down, until he hit my calves. With a smile, he stopped long enough
to untie my boots and pull them and my wool socks off, then with
a flourish, finished off my jeans, leaving me sprawling, naked and
hard for him.
Jesus, Emrys, he said, looking down at me. Something in his
gaze lit a fire deep inside me so intense it felt like my ass, my
balls, my dick, were all burning with a need that had to be
quenched right now or I was going to incinerate.
Fuck me, I said hoarsely. Right now.
His gaze seared like a laser beam up my body, setting new
fires, and ending on my face. His eyes, pupils blown, were dark
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with desire. Say it again, he said.

Fuck me. Gods, Oliverfuck me, please. I need you.
Do you know how long Ive been dreaming of hearing you
say that again? How many nights Ive lain awake in bed, thinking
about you just like this, hot and writhing and wanting me inside
you. How many nights I jacked myself off thinking about how
sexy you are and how you get all dirty-mouthed when youre
turned on, about the little whimpers and moans you make when
youre aroused and eager to come?
Do you think its been any different for me? I rasped. Do
you think I havent pretended over and over that you were right
where you are now, filling me until Im so full I think Im going to
split open, then pounding me through the mattress and into the
floor? PleaseOliver. I need you right. Fucking. Now.
Rubbers?
Table next to the bed. And lube. Hurry.
He smiled at that. Topping from the bottom, babe?
If it gets you moving faster, fuck yes!
God I love you so damned much, he said suddenly, then he
leaned down and captured my mouth in a hot, wet kiss.
I was so busy reeling from what hed just said, Im not even
sure I kissed back. He loved me? Had he meant it or was it just
something that came out in the heat of the moment?
But when he rose up over me, I saw something in his eyes,
those expressive, soulful eyes, that made me think hed meant
every word of it, and I felt my heart thump heavily at the
realization.
I watched as he knelt up and reached for the drawer in the
table, yanking it open, and pulling out a condom and a bottle of
lube. I couldnt tear my eyes away as he ripped open the wrapper
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with his teeth, then suited-up, rolling the rubber down onto his
jutting cock, ending just above the patch of curly dark-blond hair
that surrounded it. His gaze came back to mine as he opened the
bottle of lube, and it stayed on my face, holding me rapt as he
poured some of the slick liquid into his hand. He swirled a finger
through it.
Do you want it? he asked with a husky rumble.
Yes. My gods, was that my voice, all shaky and breathless?
One finger or two? A half smile curved his lips now and it
was sexy as hell.
Two, I answered without hesitation.
Adventurous.
Needy, I responded.
He lubed up his fore and middle fingers, then knelt between my
legs and spread them open. I raised my knees to give him better
access because, fuck, I was dying to feel his touch.
His fingers slid across my pucker, slick and warm, and I
whimpered at that first contact. Couldnt help it. It was magick, in
a whole different way from the kind my family could do. And then
he was pressing in.
Fuck, youre tight, he murmured, his forehead lined with
concentration.
No one else has touched me down there since you last did.
His head shot up and he stared at me. You No one?
Ive fingered myself occasionally, but, no, no other person.
Youre the only one Ive ever let inside me in any way.
He looked completely staggered by that information. And then
I saw a suspicious glimmer of moisture in his eyes, followed by a
fierce, possessive look that settled over his face, making my heart
race. Im going to make it so damn good for you, youre never
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going to want anyone else in you.

You already have, Oliver. I smiled at him. Youve ruined
me for anyone else forever.
Good, he growled softly, pushing his fingers in without any
further hesitation, making me gasp.
Goddesshow much did I love this side of him? This
possessive lover who made me feel so damn important, so needed.
He worked me thoroughly with his fingers, until I was
squirming and begging him for more.
Now, I cried. Fuck me. Please!
I am, he said with a teasing smile, resting one hand on my
abdomen to hold me in place as he continued to ply me with those
two wicked, slick fingers.
You know what I mean, damn it!
Say it then.
Youunh! You just like hearing me talk dirty.
Oh yeah. Always. But I also love hearing what you want me
to do to you. I love hearing that you want me.
I always want you, I groaned. As if you havent figured that
out yet.
Then tell me. Tell me what you want me to do.
I want you to fucking fuck me! I growled. Whoa! Had I just
growled at him?
The smile on his face said I had, and that hed loved it.
Just do it, damn it. Oliver, gods, I need you inside me. My
eyes closed, I was so damned aroused, so on edge. I need your
dick inside me, splitting me open. Please. Fucking please!
I opened my eyes then, to find him looking at me with that
same fiery intensity hed had earlier. Without saying a word, he
withdrew his fingers, and then he was slicking his cock with lube. I
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watched his big hand slide up and down it, stroking, almost as if he
were masturbating himself for a moment. When I realized he was
watching me, I knew he was doing it on purpose, to turn me on
more. It was working. I trembled and my ass couldnt hold still on
the bed. Please, Oliver.
He moved in between my legs and, still watching my face,
guided his cock to my entrance. He slid it over and around the
opening, but didnt enter.
Please, I begged, my voice ragged now. Gods, I cant take
anymore!
You are so fucking incredible, he said softly. How in the
hell did I ever manage to stay away from you as long as I did?
And then he was pushing into mepushing, pushing, stretching
and filling me, making me burn and tingle and ache all at the same
time, until I could hardly breathe, and definitely couldnt think.
I closed my eyes at the sweet, beautiful agony, but he said,
Dont, Emrys. Keep your eyes open. This time I want to see
everything. Every expression on your face, every emotion in your
eyes.
I couldnt resist him, not when he was saying things like that.
Not ever.
He hit home and stayed there for several seconds, giving me a
chance to get used to him. But he didnt stay long. His urgency
seemed to be as great as mine now, and very quickly he was
holding my hips tightly in his big hands and ploughing into me
with a passion and urgency Id never felt from him before. He
fucked me deep, and when I begged him to do it harder, he did,
driving into me until my whole body felt like a live electrical wire.
Harder, I said again. And dont stop. Dont ever stop.
My cock bounced but I was too far gone to do anything about
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it. Fuck, my balls were growing tight all on their own, and there
was so much heat surging through my veins, spreading deep inside
me, that I thought I might come without any other stimulation.
And then he hit my prostate. And, holy shit, that little magick
gland sent an electric shock through my entire body.
I bucked and cried out. So he did it again, rolling my ass farther
forward and plunging in against it, over and over.
At that point, I couldnt stop my hand from wrapping around
the base of my dick because, fuck, now I needed to come so bad I
wanted to scream.
Oh gods, I whimpered. Oh fuckfuckfuck!
Good? he asked.
Ohfuck! I couldnt seem to make anything else come out
of my mouth.
He smiled, but I could tell he was barely holding it together
himself. He leaned down and caught my mouth in a kiss. You are
so fucking hot, you blow my mind.
Need to come! I gasped.
At that, he moved one of his hands off my hip and wrapped it
around my impossible erection. Come, babe. Let me watch you
come.
It only took a few strokes of his hand, combined with his
continued thrusting deep and hard into me against that electric spot
inside me, and suddenly my whole body tensed and arched up off
bed. Cum shot like a cannon from my cock, splashing onto my
stomach, onto our hands.
Jesus, I heard Oliver say in a strangled moan. So damned
gorgeous.
I wouldnt knowId closed my eyes from the intensity of it
all, and it wasnt until hed completely milked me, and I was
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getting sensitive from his touch, that I opened them again and
looked up at him.
Now you come for me, I whispered. Come hard.
Jesus, he cried again. Settling his hands firmly back on my
hips, he let go any reserve he might have been holding onto. He
closed his eyes, let his head fall back, and drove into me, hard and
deep, his face lined with concentration and raw passion. And, fuck,
it was the most beautiful thing Id ever seen. He was the most
beautiful thing. And if it were possible, he became even more so
when, after only a few more strokes, his body tensed, he let out a
deep, low groan that was equal parts erotic and vulnerable, or
maybe it was erotic because it was so vulnerable, and he came.
Hard. Just like Id asked him to.
Afterward, drained and exhausted, we held each other close,
our bodies tangled together, too tired to even clean up yet. He
lifted up off me enough to make eye contact.
I love you, Emrys.
Emotion clogged my throat so I could barely speak. But I did,
because it was important. I love you, too. So damn much.
The last three and a half yearsIve just been empty.
Me, too, I whispered, a tear spilling over.
He wiped it away with his thumb, then kissed his thumb and
pressed it to my lips. What you said earlierI dont want you to
worry about it again, okay?
My eyebrows rose in question. Which part of what I said?
Im not going to leave. Im not ever leaving you again.
Whatever happens, and I cant deny Im terrified about what might
still come, but whatever happens, well face it together. Because
this, you, herethis is the life I want, and Im tired of not having
it. Im tired of being everyone elses bitch and doing what Im told
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because of other peoples mistakes. Im taking my life back, and

Im asking you to help me do it, to be my partner in thisin
everything.
Holy crap. More tears stung in my eyes, but I didnt care. Id
never, ever been prouder of anyone in my life than I was of him in
that moment. And Id never loved anyone more.
Will you do this with me, Emrys? Will you be with me?
I smiled up at him, memorizing every new worry line on his
face, the way his few days of golden scruff caught the light and
glistened, at the emotion, at the love, radiating from his gaze, and I
knew Id go the ends of the earth for this man.
Of course I will. I will gladly, with all my heart, be your
partner in thisand everything.
Happiness lit in his eyes, and when he kissed me, it felt like
golden sunshine, warming me all the way to my core.

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CHAPTER 13
We showered, and it was incredible. Not because of sex,
because we didnt have anywe were both pretty spent from the
lovemaking wed just shared. But it was incredible simply by
virtue of us being together and having the freedom, for the first
time, of doing something as simple as taking a shower with one
another. Of being able to stand under the hot water, soap each
other, kiss, tease, embrace, smile, talk, or sometimes say absolutely
nothing at all and still be completely content.
After that, we fixed some eggs and toast, since that was about
all my refrigerator and cupboards had to offer except for beer,
some French onion dip and chips, a few slices of cheese, and a
couple of Pepsis.
What are you, a starving college student or something?
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Oliver teased.
Yeah, tell me yours has ever been better.
Of course it has. Ive actually had an occasional package of
hot dogs and some ramen noodles to go with the rest.
We ate sitting in the middle of the cover-rumpled futon and
talked. And then we talked some more. Just like the first night
wed spent together, we found we could have a conversation about
anything. We started with what wed been doing for the past
several years.
Oliver had been living in Nebraskathe land of cows and
corn, he said with a smile. Hed used the name David again, but
with a different last name, and hed been going to the University of
Nebraska in Omaha, studying business. Boring, but un-noticeable
when youre in WITSEC, since no one remembers business
majors.
What about sports? I asked, knowing how much hed love
football.
He shook his head. No. It would have been nice, but since no
one in Nebraska knew who the hell Oliver Jaynes or David
Jennings was, as far as they were concerned, I had no experience.
You cant exactly walk onto a college football team without being
recruited or having a solid history.
Im sorry.
He shrugged. I wasnt really in the team spirit anyway when I
got there. Not really when I left either. I just He shrugged
again. I dont know. Even though I lived there twice as long as I
did here, I never really could get settled there. I got a part-time job
at the college bookstoreI know, how dull. But at least it was
something. And I stayed away from my parents house as much as
possible.
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Nothing new there, I thought. Did you live at home?

At first, but you know how I feel about my parents, so after a
few months I applied for student financial aide for housing, and
managed to get into a place in an ancient old house-turnedapartments near campus. I had a roommate, Jinx Blitzen. He
rolled his eyes as he said it, and I couldnt help but smile.
I wasnt sure how Id feel about having to live with someone I
didnt know, but he was never there, he was in a band
Ah, suddenly the name makes sense.
Oliver grinned. Yeah. And the band was always traveling out
of state or playing clubs in other towns. Which was nice, because I
wasnt in the mood to socialize or be friends with anybody,
especially in the beginning. He was supposed to also be in school,
his parents were paying for him to be, but I lived there with him
for almost three years and I swear I never saw him go to more than
a couple dozen classes in all that time. Who knows, maybe he was
a secret genius and was doing his homework and going to classes
in stealth mode. We got along fine, but we didnt spend a lot of
time together. We had one of those Hey, hows it going? kind of
relationships as we happened to pass in the kitchen or something,
but aside from some occasional TV watching or playing a few
video games, we didnt really hang out. Like I said, he was gone
most of the time.
It sounds lonely.
I guess. But I kinda wanted it that way. I didnt want to make
friends, I didnt want to get involved because I just figured at some
point my mom was going to mess up again or something else was
going to happen and Id end up leaving it all behind anyway.
Guess we know how that turned out. So I went to class, went to
work, did a lot of reading, worked out at the gym, volunteered at
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an animal shelter for a while because animalsthey dont stab you

in the back or talk shit to you. And theyre great listeners without
giving you any crap about your decisions or your whining. He
smiled faintly.
I know what you mean.
Howd you start working at the veterinary clinic? In high
school I always figured youd be the guy who ended up as some
kind of computer whiz, running an IT department or designing
video games or something. And you even kind of implied that
when we talked graduation night.
Now it was my turn to shrug. I sort of started down that path,
thought Id get my degree in computer science, but as much as I
love gaming and stuff, sitting in front of a computer by myself
24/7 started to make me feel weird and alien. Like I was detached
from the real world. I like being around people. I mean, I dont
want to be some big leader of them or have to make important
decisions for them, but I like I hesitated, not sure what I was
trying to say.
Youre compassionate. You like to help people, he said.
You always did in school. Standing up for people getting bullied,
being friendly with everyone, helping put up the decorations for
dances or concerts even if you werent planning to go, being a peer
counselor. You were always doing stuff like that.
Was I? I wasnt being modest, I really hadnt ever seen
myself that way in high school. I always just thought of myself as
the average geek who hung out with friends. It was kind of weird
to hear how Oliver had viewed me.
Yeah, you were. So I get you working with the animals. Im
just curious how you finally found that path.
Im not totally sure it is my path, at least not yet.
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He gave me a look that said even if I wasnt sure, he thought it

was perfect for me. Which, again, was kind of odd, to think that in
some ways he might know me better than I did. Geoff, my brotherin-law, had said similar things to me about being compassionate
and that because of that, veterinary medicine was a good fit for me.
My sister Morgans husband owns the clinic and runs it along
with a couple of other partners. Last winter I was working at a
coffee shop as a barista, but the shop closed. I needed to find
something else part-time, so Geoff offered me a job at the clinic as
sort of a general all-around helper. I man the reception desk, help
feed and water and walk the animals, spend time with them, do
some computer workthat kind of thing. I cant handle any actual
drugs or see pets on my own because you have to be a licensed vet
tech at minimum for that, but I do like it. There is that whole,
animals are never assholes and theyre always there for you thing.
I think youd be an amazing vet.
Thanks. It wasnice, better than nice, to have his support if
thats what I ended up doing. But then I grimaced. It means
several more years of school though. Ugh. And I have to go an
extra semester already to get my BS because I changed my major
last year and had to pick up a few extra classes.
Youll do fine. I have total faith in you. Hed said the same
thing to me that night at the old house, about my magick.
Speaking of, I said aloud.
He arched an eyebrow in question.
Oh, sorry, was thinking and then part of it went from my head
to my mouth.
He snickered.
Shut up. I smacked him on the arm, smiling. You know
what I was trying to say.
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Actually, I have no clue.

I was just I sobered as I remembered where Id been
going. I was just wondering what were going to do. About our
problem.
He sobered, too, and I hated watching the happy twinkle in his
eyes dull, and see the worry lines deepen on his forehead. About
our being hunted problem?
Yeah. Im wondering if theres something magickal we can do
or can use to stop them oror at least hide you from them.
Like the way you said this place is protected?
Yeah, but we need more than that. The protection spell around
the store and apartment, and around my parents house, is all well
and good, but its only useful if youre in the building. The
moment you set foot outside, you lose that protection. Obviously
you cant live your life trapped inside a building, any building.
What we need isI dont know, something likean invisibility
spell.
He looked startled. Theres such a thing as an invisibility
spell?
No, not really. Ive never heard of anything like it anyway.
Besides, that wouldnt be good even if there were such a thing.
You have to be able to live your life, and if you were invisible and
no one could see you, itd be tough to go to school or have a
job
Itd be kind of fun though. You could sneak into movie
theaters.
Or ride for free on airplanes and travel the world.
Get into some of the top secret places like the CIA and see
what really goes on.
Become a jewel thief.
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Sneak into Ewan McGregors shower and watch him.

Mmm, I said, grinning. Definitely yes to that.
We were sitting cross-legged, facing each other, me dressed in
sweats, a T-shirt, and wool socks because the radiator was really
struggling against the cold tonight. Oliver was dressed similarly
except with gym shorts on instead of sweats, which was awesome
for me because I would never get tired of looking at his muscular
legs, or his muscular anything.
He suddenly leaned toward me and kissed me.
What was that for? I asked, a little giddy from it.
Because for way too long I couldnt do it at all, and I dont
ever want to take being able to kiss you for granted. Besideshe
smiledI just really love kissing you.
A grin crept onto my face. Ive kind of noticed that. And Im
kind of not complaining. At all.
Ive loved kissing you from the moment I first did it, under
the porch at the old house down on the harbor. I wonder whatever
happened to that place?
I drive by there every now and then, just to to see. It went on
the market a couple of years ago, so whoever owned it must have
gotten the probate stuff straighted out.
Did someone buy it?
Yeah, but no one ever moved in. No clue why. Its still sitting
there empty.
He looked sad at the thought. Thats too bad. I really liked that
place. I think it just needs some love and attention.
His comment made me think that maybe that was why hed
been drawn to it in the first placebecause he and the house were
kindred spirits in a way, both lonely and abandonded by people
who should have cared more.
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Well, maybe one day you can be the person to give it the love
and attention it needs. I smiled. Youre not always going to be a
poor college student, you know. And eventually, the house will go
back on the market. If the fates align just right
That brought a twinkle back to his eyes. I like that thought. I
like it even better when I think about doing unmentionable things
to you in the bedroom in front of the fireplace again, or out in the
garden.
Or copping a feel on the steps in the dark when were naked.
He laughed. I like copping a feel of you anytime, anywhere.
Yeah, Ive kinda noticed that, too, I said with a grin. But it
would be nice not to break my neck on dark stairs.
Well, one day, when its our house, Ill make sure those stairs
are well-lit, just for you. And well have a big-ass soft bed in the
bedroom in front of the fire so we dont have to be on the floor.
And Ill show you all over again how climing that ladder with me
that night was the best decision you ever made.
Fuckwhen he looked at me like that, with his eyes gone all
warm and sexy, my entire body came to life with need. And I
didnt know why, but hearing him call the old place our house
caused a funny, contented tingle inside me. I suddenly knew that
one day, it would be ours and hed do everything hed just said.
I love you, I whispered.
I love you.
We kissed, for a long time, and it waswow. Justwow.
Finally, he leaned back and smiled at me, winding his fingers
through mine. So, my sexy witch dude, what other spells have
you got up your sleeve?
Did you just seriously call me witch dude?
No, I called you my sexy witch dude. Meaning youre mine,
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and youre no ordinary witch dude.

Uh, thats putting it mildly. Im certainly not ordinary. Im the
witch who blows shit up, remember?
Unless youre touching me, you said.
Yeahat least it seems that way.
So I really am your good luck charm?
My mom actually thinks you might be more like mynow
dont laugh, but my familiar. In a weird sort of way.
Arent familiars animals? And, wait, you told your mom about
me?
He looked concerned, but I rushed to put his mind at ease. Its
okay. I only told her that I was with someone and I could do
magick with him. I never said your name or anything about you.
Shes the one who figured out you touching me was what made my
magick work because she asked and I told her that night you were
sitting behind me and sort of hugging me.
He took a breath and let it out. Im sorry. I didnt mean to
jump to conclusions.
Its okay. Its understandable. It only came up because after
you left I was kind ofnon-participatory in life for a while.
He squeezed my hand and said softly, Because I hurt you. Im
so sorry.
I squeezed back. Stop apologizing. You did what you had to,
and I have never, ever blamed you or been mad about that. It was
just the way things had to be. But I was sad. I missed you a lot. So
she cornered me one night. She had already suspected I was having
a crisis of the heart, so I told her that Id met someone special, but
that he had to move away. And in the process of that conversation,
because I was curious about it and I couldnt do magick again after
you left, I told her just the magick part of it.
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So what does that mean, being your familiar?

Its not really thatI was kinda sorta joking about the familiar
thingbecause youre right, familiars usually are animals. In your
case, she seems to think that youbalance me. That when Im
trying to do magick on my own I kind of overheatthe example
she gave was like a nuclear reactor going into meltdown. But with
you, when youre in physical contact with me, you balance me and
keep me on an even keel, so I can use the energy the way magick is
supposed to be used.
He looked intrigued and seemed to be digesting everything I
said. But why me? Why not her or one of your other family
members oror anyone else? Why does it only work with me?
Well, she thinks its because weve bonded. She believes that
we must be I looked into his eyes and, for a moment, felt
myself drowning in the warm sea of them. soul mates.
Oliver drew in a long, slow breath, then released it. Soul
mates, he whispered.
I nodded.
What do you believe? Do you think we are?
Do you really have to ask? I said softly, squeezing his hand.
I think we already know what we both believe. How else would
we have been apart for three and a half years, only to come back
together and find out that our feelings for each other had not only
never waned, but had gotten stronger? Or how, from the second we
finally spent time together, it felt right, like wed been missing a
part of ourselves until that moment?
Or why Ive never been able to think of anyone else but you.
Or me you.
Soone of those sweet, breath-stealing smiles curved his
lipI guess that means we really are stuck together.
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I smiled back. Yeah, I think it does.

So tell me what I can do to help.
Well, first we have to see if we can find anything magickal
that will help. I dont know exactly what were looking for, but I
do, however, know where to start looking. I slid off the futon and
held out my hand to him.
He pulled it to his lips and kissed it, then rose to join me. Lead
on.
I picked up a ring of keys from the hook on the wall in the
kitchen and crossed to the door on the opposite side of the outside
entrance where Oliver and I had come into the apartment. This was
the inside entrance, the way into the apartment from the store
below. I unlatched the lock and the deadbolt, then opened the door,
and we stepped out into the hallway. We always kept a light on in
the hall up here, and a couple of dim ones burning in the store for
security reasons.
The old hardwood creaked under our footfalls, even with the
burgundy runner cushioning them, but I was used to it. The sound
was almost comforting, since Id been hearing it either up here or
in the store below all my life.
Where does this go? Oliver asked.
The steps down into the store are over there. I pointed. But
we have a different destination. I led him farther along the
hallway to another door, this one thicker and older and sturdier.
Using one of the keys on the ring, I unlocked the old-fashioned
knob and we entered the room.
I say room loosely because that makes it sound like a small
space. It wasnt. It was roughly the same size as my entire studio
apartment. Except instead of being broken up into distinct living
sections like the apartment, this was simply one large open space. I
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reached for the wall switch and flipped it, flooding the room with
light from the overhead fixture. Floor-to-ceiling bookshelves lined
each wall, except for the window across from us. Several cushiony
armchairs sat about, in various colors and patterns, and dominating
the center of the room was a big, scarred, wooden worktable that
had seen its fair share of spell-working over the years. Right now
books were scattered atop it, along with a scrying glass, numerous
candles in varying stages of life, several baskets of cut herbsit
smelled like sweet grass and rosemarymy moms favorite set of
runes, a deck of Thoth tarot cards (my dads favorite), several
cyrstals, and a statue of the goddess Diana, which normally had its
own spot in a nook near the window, but someone must have been
using her in a ritual and just hadnt put her away yet.
What is this place? Oliver sounded breathlessly impressed.
This is the private Andrews magick library, I said with a
grin. I turned to face him. Welcome to the witch family.
He was still staring, turning in a slow circle as if he couldnt
soak up enough. I think Im kind of mind-boggled right now. I
feel like Darren, who just walked into a secret magick world that
Samantha told him about but that he wasnt remotely prepared
for.
Nah, I said. Youre way cuter than Darren.
He turned to face me and grinned. And youre way sexier than
Samantha.
Youre only saying that because I have boy parts.
That made him laugh. I do love your boy parts, he said in a
husky voice, his gaze turning steamy. He caught me in his embrace
and kissed me soundly.
Then he looked around again, still holding me. Seriously,
Emrys. This place is amazing. Even for a total non-magick
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ignoramus like me. So, tell me what were looking for.

Ugh, now youre asking the tough question. I eased out of his
arms and began scanning the shelves, running my hands over the
book spines, some modern and crisp, others old and tattered.
Since Im not really sure where to start, lets try this. I pulled
a thick, old, red leather-bound book off the shelf. Then I found
another, this one heavy dark brown leather. My gaze ran over the
spines again, and when I didnt find anything else on that shelf that
looked promising, I started on the shelf above it, then the next one
up. Another title caught my eye and I stood on tiptoe to reach it,
but couldnt quite get my fingertips on it.
Here, let me get for you. Oliver stepped up beside me,
reaching, and managed to get it down without even having to stand
on his toes. Show off.
He handed it to me.
We pulled a few more books, then took them all and set them
on the floor next to one of the armchairs. I dragged up another
chair to face it, just a couple of feet away, and we sat in them.
Mine was a squashy purple velvet, worn with age, and Olivers
was upholstered in blue fabric with celestial symbols on it.
I handed him a few of the books, and I took a few, then sat
back in the chair and put my sock-clad feet up on his chair,
sticking them into the warm spot between his legs and the chairs
arm. He smiled at me and did the same, until we were both
stretched out and comfortableand touching. Always touching.
Id been away from him too long and didnt want to go for more
than a few minutesokay, seconds were better evenwithout
being in contact with him.
He looked at the spines on his books. Gersons Spells of
Ancient Egypt, he read. A Compendium of Magickal Talismans.
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Spellcraft of the Old World. I feel like Im in a Harry Potter

movie.
I smiled. This is better because its real.
Do you really think any of these will help?
I dont know, I told him honestly. But the books are here,
and so are we. I think its worth looking into.
Okay. He nodded. Thats good enough for me. Lets dive in
then.
*

Hours later, I yawned and looked up to see gray light outside

the window from the coming dawn. I was tired. Id been up about
twenty-two hours I realized, since Id had to get up for an early
class yesterday morning. Thank the gods today was Friday and I
didnt have school. I looked, bleary-eyed, over at Oliver, who,
though looking a little peaked, was reading on determinedly, his
eyes narrowing over some passage, like he was trying to better
understand it. He had his chin propped on one hand, while his
other hand was rubbing one of my feet through my sock, a steady,
blissful pressure that wasnt too hard or too gentle. At some point
Id moved my feet to his lap, and hed kept up a steady massage
since then.
Hey. I nudged him with my toes.
He looked up and a soft, sexy smile curved his lips. Hey
yourself.
Im tired. Its getting light outside.
He looked to the window. Still snowing. When he turned
back, his forehead creased as his gaze slid over me. You are tired,
arent you? He marked his place with a slip of paper from
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somewhere, then set the book back to the floor. He gave my foot
one final squeeze, then released it. Lets get you to bed, babe.
Okay. I wasnt going to argue. But lets take the books with
us. The store will be open in a few hours and I dont think its a
good idea for my parents or, I think its Raven whos working
today, to know youre here. But we can hole up in the apartment
and after weve slept for a while, we can get back to this. No one
will bother us. I dont have any classes today and I dont have to
be at work until seven tonight.
A worried frown appeared on Olivers face. You have to work
tonight?
Yeah. But then Im off for the next two days after that.
That didnt seem to make him feel any better. What is it? I
asked him.
You said as long as we stay in the building no one can get to
us. But if you have to go to work
Oh godsI hadnt thought about that. I dragged in a breath,
trying to stay calm. All right, lets do this I cant even think
straight right now, so lets get some sleep, and well figure the
work thing out later, after we wake up, okay?
Okay. He stood and pulled me to my feet. We grabbed up the
books and I made sure the library was more or less back to the way
wed found it so my parents wouldnt notice Id been here. I didnt
want to inspire any questions about what my sudden interests were
since, because my magick was so shitty, I normally didnt use this
room much. Then we went out, I locked the door, and we returned
to my apartment.
Once safely back in my own space, I locked the knob and the
deadbolt, went over to be sure the outside door was locked up
tightly as well, then switched off the lights. The thick drapes on the
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window were already shut tight to keep out the morning light when
it came, since I often slept for a few hours after daylight when Id
worked the night before, at least on the mornings I didnt have
early classes.
We stripped off our clothes, crawled under the covers, and
wrapped around each other. The only sounds were the gentle
knocking of the radiator and our even breathing.
Id never slept with anyone else besides Oliveron graduation
nightand I was glad. Because snuggling against him, on our
sides facing each other, with his arms around me, his legs twined
through mine, and our bodies in as much contact as possible, was
something Id never want to share with anyone else.
His hand, warm and slightly rough, caressed my back. I could
feel his heartbeatthud, thud, thud. All of that was soothing and
making my eyelids heavy.
Until I felt his half-hard cock pressing against mine. Just that
subtle pressure, and the awareness that came with it, sent a ripple
of heat sliding through my body in response.
Go to sleep, Emrys. I swear I could feel him smiling, like he
was reading my mind. Then he added, softly, Hold that thought
and Ill make sure you feel good when you wake up.
That only sent another flood of heat through me, making me
way less sleepy than Id been only a minute ago.
Not helping, I told him. I inched closer to him, and my breath
caught when I felt his cock jerk in response.
He groaned. Im trying to be all honorable here and youre not
making it easy.
Im not doing anything. Its justfuck, being close to you like
this
Oh Christ, and he starts with the dirty language, which means
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neither one of us is going to sleep right now.

His hand suddenly slid down between us and wrapped around
my shaft. I swore my appreciation in colorful language, which
made him chuckle, and because the sound of his laugh, low and
quiet, was so damned hot, I started to thrust against him, filling his
hand with my now fully turgid cock.
I found his dick, equally thick and hot and sleek, with my hand,
and, to the sound of his soft groans and thickly murmured prayers
that involved my name and lots of mentions of Oh God and
Fuck, just like that! I let him know how grateful I was for him
and the fact that we hadnt gone right to sleep.
The build-up took a while since wed already spent ourselves
twice since hed walk back into my life a few hours ago. But, dear
gods, it was worth it.
By the time we came, we were both panting, almost hoarse
from moaning, and slick with sweat. I went first, spilling hot and
thick, and he followed a few seconds later with a shuddering groan
and a rush of cream.
We were trembling so hard the bed was shaking, and it took a
long time to come down from it. When we did, we parted only
long enough for Oliver to go to the bathroom and return with a
warm washrag. He cleaned us up, his touch gentle because at that
point we were both wicked sensitive. And then we snuggled back
together, skin-to-skin, heartbeat-to-heartbeat.
I love you, I whispered, my body growing heavy.
I love you, too. I dont think Ill ever be able to show you how
much.
You already have, I murmured, smiling. And then sleep crept
over me and I was out.
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CHAPTER 14
I woke up in a cold sweat, a cry still raw in my throat.
Clutching my chest, I sat up.
Emrys! What is it?
Oliver was next to me, his arm going around my shoulder and
pulling me in close against the warmth of his body. It wasnt until
then that I realized I was shivering.
Iunn I couldnt seem to get anything out. My throat was
aching, I was freezing, and a horrible weight pressed in on my
chest, making it hard to breathe.
Shhh, its okay, he said, smoothing a hand over my hair and
rocking me. Its going to be okay. Im right here. Im not going to
let anything happen to you. Were you dreaming?
I I squeezed my eyes closed and tried to focus on forming
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words. Idont know. Bad

A bad dream?
Badbad feeling.
A bad feeling?
I nodded, but it might have been a dream, too. I dont know. I
couldnt remember. I only knew that it had been awful, dark, cold.
Thered been blood. And Oh gods, I moaned, and clutched at
him.
Shhh. Shhh, baby, its okay. He unceremoniously pulled me
into his lap, and I whimpered at how good his heat felt. At how
good having him hold me felt. I tried to block out the weird,
shifting, blurry images in my head, the cold pressure on my chest.
Breathe, babe. Breathe with meslow and steady.
I tried. Tried feeling the rise and fall of his chest and making
mine the same.
Thats itbreathe. Im here. Im not letting you go.
He continued to rock me, and slowly, slowly the motion eased
some of the tightly wound tension in my body. But I still didnt
want to remember, didnt want to let anything in, so I kept my
thoughts locked down tight.
I dont know how long he held me, but he never wavered.
Never tried to hurry me. Never pushed me. He just held me close,
rocked with me, and whispered gentle words to let me know he
had me and that he was here for me.
What time is it? I finally asked, my voice hoarse from sleep
andgods, had I shouted? Screamed? I didnt know. I just knew
my throat hurt.
Its about ten-thirty in the morning.
Wewe werent asleepthat long then?
Just a few hours.
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Still tired.
Im not surprised. Do you think you could get back to sleep if
you tried?
I grimaced and shook my head. Notnot yet.
Okay. Would you like me to get you some water?
No Dont Dont leave me. Please.
Emrys, Im not going anywhere, I promise. Im right here, and
Ill hold you as long as you want me to. Ive got three and a half
years to make up for, so I can hold you just like this all day if you
want.
I sniffled, but realized I was smiling. What ifI want you to
hold me all night, too.
I felt him smiling as well. Im not going anywhere.
More time passed, and eventually I started feeling more like
myself, more grounded. Even though the terror wasnt really gone,
it became manageable, and I knew it was Olivers doing. I didnt
disagree with my mom that he somehow balanced my magick. But
I suspected it went deeper than that. He balanced me period. Being
with him, when we were in physical contact, was likelike having
a soothing balm spread between me and the world. When things
were good, that balm made them feel better. When things were
bad, it didnt just prevent the bad stuff from getting through, it
absorbed it, neutralized it. Thats what he did for me. At least
thats what it felt like.
I wondered if I had the same effect on himnot the magick, of
course, but the rest of it. I hoped so because I didnt want it to be a
one-way street. I didnt want to be all taker. I wanted to be able to
give back to him some of the comfort and steadiness he gave me.
I took a deep breath, then sat up in his arms.
He brushed the hair back off my forehead and asked, Feeling
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better?
I nodded. Thank you.
For what, babe?
For holding the wolves at bay.
Would those be real wolves or figurative ones?
I smiled. See, this is part of what he did.
Im just asking because you once implied to me that ghosts
and vampires were real, so I have to assume that means
werewolves might be as well. There a twinkle in his eye that
warmed me to the bone.
This would be the figurative kind. Well have the werewolf
talk some other time.
His smile widened. But then he sobered and the worry lines on
his forehead deepened in that way they did when he was troubled.
What happened, Emrys? Was it a bad dream or something else?
I pulled in another deep breath and slowly released it.
Something else, butit might have been partly a dream, too.
Talk to me. Please. His hands stroked up and down my arms.
Sometimes I havepremonitions.
Like you know somethings going to happen before it does?
Sort of. Unfortunately, theyre seldom very detailed. Its like a
really cold, bad feeling I get in my gut. It comes on suddenly and,
usually, several hours before the bad thing is going to happen.
Sometimes I might have a vague sense of whos involved, but
other times I dont even know that. I almost never know whats
going to happen or why or how or when. It sucks because its such
an awful feeling, and its only made worse by not knowing any
specifics.
This is has happened to you in the past?
I nodded.
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What types of things have happened after youve had the bad
feeling?
My mom got in a car accident that almost killed her. I had it
right before my appendix burst when I was twelve and I almost
died.
Thats when your grandfather gave you the amulet. His
fingers moved up to touch it where it hung around his neck.
Yeah. I also had the feeling before my grandfather died. And
then I hesitated, wondering if I should say it.
Tell me.
I had it graduation night.
His eyes went wide. What? When?
Right after we had sex the first time. Remember when I got
kind of quiet and upset and you thought maybe I was having
regrets?
I do remember that.
I didnt have any regrets. Instead, I had a premonition. I
knew I took a breath, trying to ease the tightness in my chest.
That time I knew, or at least I sensed, that it was about you. That
by the next day youd be gone, but I didnt know if that meant you
were going away gone, or if it meant you were going to bedead
gone. I winced, remembering my fear that night. And then you
told me that you were moving away the next day, so I thought,
hoped, that was it. But I always worried that it had been about
more than that. That maybe something else was going to happen
toyou
I stopped and stared at Oliver, whod blanched the color of a
pristine bedsheet.
What? What is it? I smoothed my palm along his bearded
check. Oliver?
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After we left the house with the marshal that morning, we

were riding in the SUV with him, following the moving truck.
There was another U.S. Marshals Service SUV behind us, so our
vehicle was kind of wedged in between the two. We hadnt gone
fifty miles down the road from Salem when a black van with all
the windows tinted comes screaming up beside us. We heard
gunfireI remember the pop, pop, pop. It was so fast. The
windshield on our SUV shattered. My mom was screaming. My
dad was shouting. The marshal who was driving ushed been hit.
I was sitting right behind him and I remember seeing the
bloodstain spreading across the back of his shoulder and I realized
the bullet had to have gone in the front and out the back. I looked
down and saw blood splattered on my shirt and
Were you hit? I asked, my own heart stuttering.
No. It was his blood splattered on me. But, Emryswhen I
looked at the back of my seat, the bullet had lodged in the cushion
three inches from me. I hadnt even felt it hit there, butit missed
me. By three inches.
Holy shit. Did the marshal live?
Yeah. Someone in the van shot again, but the marshal had his
gun out and fired back. The van careened, there were more shots,
and a couple of tires blew out on the moving truck in front of us. It
ran off the road and crashed. The SUV behind us raced up next to
us and they began shooting at the van as well. The van took off up
the road and disappeared. They never caught it or the men in it.
We continued to speed up the highway for a short way, then
turned off and took back roads until they finally decided it was safe
to stop. They called an ambulance for the marshal and a new one
took over with us. All our furniture and stuff was lost. And
wherever theyd been planning to move us, they didnt. They
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changed completely, right there on the spot, and took us to

Nebraska.
Dear Goddess. So something had happened to himor almost.
As if his thoughts were running parallel to mine, his hand went
up to the amulet. Do you think
I stared at the pendant my grandfather had made so long ago
and felt a shimmer of knowing run through me. This time in a good
way. I think I dont ever want to know what might have happened
if you hadnt been wearing it.
Our gazes met and held for several seconds.
What happened tonight, what woke you upit was another
premonition?
I nodded slowly, and by acknowledging it, the doors unlocked
in my head and not only did the cold fear return, so did the
memories of the dreamlike images Id seen. I winced and squeezed
my eyes closed against the pain.
Oliver was right there, cradling my face in his hands, kissing
my forehead. Its okay, Emrys. Its okay.
When I had wrestled the whole muck under control again
with Olivers unknowing helpI opened my eyes and looked at
him. Somethingscoming. I felt the cold, icy cold. Saw
darkness. Metal. I tried to picture it in my minds eye, make the
image unblur. Id never had images like this before, so this was
new for me. Metal. Andand blood.
Fucking hell. Do you know when? Where?
I shook my head. Ive never seen anything with the
premonitions before. This wasdifferent. More detailed, in a way,
but confusing because I dont know what Im seeing. Frustration
welled up in me. Damn it, Oliver! I dont know what Im seeing!
I dont know how to read this.
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Okay, shhhh, its all right. Lets just breathe. He rested one
of his hands on my chest, and lifted one of mine to his chest,
holding it there. Breatheokay? In and out.
I sank into his gaze and almost immediately felt myself start to
relax. Holy crap. How was he
Hed picked this up from me, from last night at the clinic when
I used the calming spell. Hed done it a little while ago also, when
Id been in such a state after the dream/visions had woken me up.
And I realized that even though hed initiated it, then and now, he
was drawing on my magick. Or, more accurately, I was drawing on
it through him, instinctively, and it was vibrating between us,
affecting us both, relaxing us both.
I think you really are a superhero, I murmured, staring at him
in awe.
Whaaat?
I smiled. I didnt even know how to try to explain my
revelation to him, wasnt even sure I understood it myself. Thered
be time later to tell him, after wed been together longer and had a
chance to explore this connection more.
What is it? he asked.
I shook my head. Just really glad youre here.
Me, too. He brushed my hair back from over my eye again.
You still look tired.
I sighed. I am. So do you. Lets try to go back to sleep for a
while. Justdont let go of me, okay?
I wont.
We snuggled back down under the covers, spooning together,
him behind me holding me close. I wasnt sure if Id be able to get
back to sleep, but it seemed like within seconds, thanks to his body
heat behind me, the soft pillow, and a sense of contentment in spite
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of the awful vision/premonition Id had, I couldnt keep my eyes

open.
*

The next time I woke up, it was to the sound of the ringtone on
my phone. I came awake slowly, blinking, trying to place where I
was, what that godawful racket was, and why I was so warm and
comfortable when the room itself, where my skin was exposed to
it, felt so damned cold.
The solid furnace behind me moved away and I protested,
rather violently and vocally.
I heard a soft chuckle, felt a warm caress on my ass, and then
the mattress shifted and the heat was gone completely.
And that damn noise was still blaring! Whathehell? I
mumbled, rolling over.
The racket got louder, and then the bed sank. My furnace was
back, and he was handing me my cell phone. Here you go, babe.
Have I mentioned how much I adore this man? His smile
warmed me all over again. I took the phone with my own smile of
gratitude.
The caller ID said it was the vet clinic and my first thought was
that, oh shit, Id overslept. But the time on my phone said it was
three-thirty only, so at least I wasnt going to be in trouble.
Hello? I said, trying to sound like I hadnt just awakened.
Hey, Emrys. Its Geoff.
Hey, whats up?
This weathers rotten. For the first time since I opened the
clinic, were going to have to close down. I dont want any of you
guys out on the roads, and the snows not supposed to let up until
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tomorrow morning. Ill look at how things stand early in the

morning and make a decision about when well reopen. But for
now, theres no need to come in tonight.
I was becoming more alert now. Really? Wow, okay. Whos
going to feed the animals and give them their meds tonight?
Ill take care of what needs to be done now before I head
home. Then Morg and I will hike back over here later tonight to do
the late stuff. Ill also leave a message on the voice mail that if
anyone has a dire emergency they can call my cell and Ill find a
way to help them.
Okay, well if you guys get into a bind, just let me know.
Will do, but we live so close itll be fine. In the meantime,
enjoy your night off. Id tell you to stay out of trouble, but I dont
think anyones going anywhere tonight, so theres not much
trouble to get into.
I smiled and looked at the hunk in bed with me. Well, you
never know.
He chuckled. See youwhen are you next on the schedule,
Monday?
Yeah.
See you then.
Bye.
I handed my phone back to Oliver, who was holding out his
hand for it. He set it on the table next to the bed. Something
urgent? he asked, lounging on his side, his head propped on his
hand.
You were worried about me going to work, but now you dont
have to. I guess its still snowing and Geoffs closing down the
clinic for the night.
Relief slid over his features, making me realize how much my
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having to go in tonight had been bothering him. Im really glad,

he said. And if the weathers that crappy, even the bad guys
shouldnt be out tonight, which means
Which meant, in theory, my premonition shouldnt come to
pass any time soon because no one could get in here to hurt us, and
if we didnt have to go out
I smiled and kissed him. I guess youre stuck with me all to
yourself.
His eyes glinted with mischief. Its such a burden. But I guess
someones gotta do it.
Or you could just do me, I taunted.
Is that a dare?
You know how I feel about dares. Oh, wait, thats right, this
would be me daring you, instead of the other way around.
A steamy, bone melting smile and yanking the covers off me to
expose me to the cold room were my reward. And yet, in spite of
the chilly air on my bare skin giving me goosebumps, somehow I
felt warm all over. I crooked my finger at him and grinned.
An hour later, after a blowjob that left me shaking, and a
thorough fucking that had been shockingly slow and deep and
passionate, I was pretty thoroughly drunk on love and on him.
We found our way back to the shower, then managed to
scrounge up some dinner, making grilled cheese sandwiches with
the remaining bread and cheese, and eating the potato chips and
drinking beer. Not too bad, all things considered.
Then we snuggled together on the futon, under a blanket,
dressed in sweats to hold off the chill, and went back to work on
the magick books. My mom had called to tell me she was closing
the store early because of the weather and that Raven was giving
her a ride home. Id offered to take hermy dad was out of town
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at a buyers fair for a couple of daysbut shed said, no, Raven

was going that direction. So once everyone had gone home, Oliver
and I had trekked back to the library to grab some different
volumes. But it had been even colder in there, so wed brought
them back here.
Which one are you reading now that youre so absorbed in?
Oliver asked me, as he rummaged through the stack.
Holding my place with a finger, I flipped to the cover.
Meerschaums Guide to Animal Transfiguration.
He looked up at me and grinned. And you think, what? That
turning me into a bird or a monkey is somehow going to help?
Shut up. But I grinned, too. I confess, I picked this one up
by accident, but its kind of fascinating. This is really advanced
magick. Ive never known anyone who could do this kind of
thingtransforming people into animals. Its powerful stuff. But
youre right, not the most helpful for us. I shut the cover and set
the book aside. What else have we got?
He handed me a couple of books out of the pile, found one for
himself, and we settled back in to our reading, pausing every now
and then to read something aloud to one another, or for him to ask
questions about the hows and whys of certain types of magick, or
for an explanation on some potion or spell ingredient.
This is all so amazing, he said at one point. I feel like Ive
fallen down the rabbit hole and theres so much cool stuff to
explore Im not in any hurry to get out.
Shortly before ten oclock, my phone dinged with a text
message. I leaned across Oliver to pick it up.
Thats weird, I mumbled, an unsettled feeling seeping
through me.
Oliver was instantly alert to my mood. What is it? he asked.
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Its a text from Morgan. She says, Emrys, we need you at the
clinic. Its urgent. Come quick. Please.
What do you thinks going on?
I dont know. I cant even imagine.
Why dont you call her and ask.
Yeah. Okay. I went to my contacts list and hit Morgans cell
number, then put the phone to my ear. It rang and rang with no
answer until her voice mail kicked in. Morg, its me. I got your
text. Whats going on? Call me back, okay.
I hung up and looked at Oliver. Shes not answering, but this
is the number she texted me from. Im going to try the clinic
phone. She implied thats where they are.
I punched in the clinic number, but all I got from that was a
couple of rings, then a beeping noise. The voice mail never came
on. What the hell does that mean? I tried again and got the same
thing. I switched to speaker so Oliver could hear. What is that
noise?
Sounds like its out of order.
Maybe the storms affected the phone service.
Maybe. But he looked uncomfortable.
Ill try Geoffs cell.
I got no answer there either.
Crap, I dont know what to do. Has the snow let up at all?
EmrysI dont think its a good idea to go out tonight.
Yeah, well, me either. But Morgan said it was urgent, and Im
a little concerned that none of their phones are picking up.
Exactly my point. Isnt it a little odd that none of their phones
are getting answered?
You think theres something else going on? I studied him, his
expression, the worry lines around his eyes and mouth, and knew
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instantly thats exactly what he thought. A lump of dread, and the

memory of my premonition earlier in the day, settled in my gut.
Oliver?
I just think somethings not quite right here.
I looked at him for a few more seconds, and he looked back.
Then I bent my head back to my phone and wrote a text to
Morgan, Oliver watching over my shoulder as I typed: I tried to
call you but youre not picking up. Whats up, sis? Can you tell me
whats so urgent?
I sent it off. Lets see if she responds. Shes usually pretty
quick to return texts even if she cant take a call for some reason.
Five minutes later, she hadnt answered.
Somethings wrong, I said, pacing around the apartment. I
accidentally bumped into one of my bookshelves and dislodged a
pile of comic books I hadnt had a chance to sort and file away yet.
They fell into a heap at my feet. Damn it.
I knelt to gather them up, and Oliver was quickly beside me,
helping.
Im going to have to go find out whats happening, I said
softly, making a decision. I look up at him over the comics.
Emrys, lets think about this. What if its a trap?
Even if it is, it means they have Morgans phone. And the
only way to have Morgans phone is.
I saw understanding settle over him. if they have Morgan.
Shit.
Shes my sister, Oliver.
Okayhow about if we call 9-1-1, tell themI dont know,
that theres a disturbance at the clinic and we cant get hold of
anybody there, and have them go check it out.
I thought about it for a moment, but one scenario kept popping
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into my head. If we do that and it is them and they have Morgan,

if the cops show up, what if the bad guys The words hung in
my throat. kill her, I whispered.
Oliver paled.
From what youve told me about these people, they dont play
nice games. Would they hesitate to hurt someone, an innocent?
He took a hard swallow. No, I dont think theyd care.
Another jolt of fear and panic hit me. Dark, coldblood, I
whispered.
We were still on our knees, our hands full of comic books, but
he suddenly pulled me into his arms. I let the books fallwhich
was a testament to how upset I was because I kept them
meticulously boarded and bagged and normally would have been
horrified to treat them that wayand wrapped my arms around his
waist. I dont know what to do.
What about your parents? Can you call them and see if they
can check on the clinic?
I shook my head. My dads out of town, wont be home until
Sunday. And my mom, I dont know if you know this or not, but
when she had that car accident, it left her permanently disabled.
She walks with crutches, so she doesnt drive anymore. Usually
she and my dad ride together to the store, but Willow brought her
this morning and Raven gave her a ride home tonight. Theres no
way she can do it, and shes not going to let Willow drive on bad
roads in this weather. Besides, I dont want my sixteen-year-old
sister or my mother walking in on something potentially bad.
What about the rest of your family?
Aradia and her husband live in Boston. Samantha just got
married this past summer and she and her husband are in Africa or
somewhere in the Peace Corps. Gillian moved to New York City a
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year ago to be a fashion merchandiser. That just leaves Willow and

me and Morgan still in Salem.
I drew in a deep breath, then sat back, pulling out of Olivers
arms. I picked up the comics books Id let fall and set them on the
shelf, all without meeting his gaze. But when I stood, he did, too,
putting the rest of the comics away, and our gazes clashed.
Im going, I said resolutely. I have to go.
Slowly, he nodded. Okay. Im going with you.
No, you should stay put. Theres no reason for both of us to
get out in this and if there is trouble, youre the last person who
needs to walk into it. Im the maybe, remember? We know theyre
after you.
He caught my hand and looked at me full-on, his expression
deadly serious. Emrys, there is no way in hell I am letting you
leave here without me. No way in hell Im going to risk you
walking in on God knows what all alone. Im going with you.
Dont even argue.
Cold, darkness, metal, blood. The blurry images ran through
my head again like a grainy home movie, filling me with dread.
And at the center of it all, was Oliver. Not in the vision, but in
essence. I knew, as well as I knew my own name, that if he left this
building, something bad was going to happen.
Please, I said, my voice cracking. Please stay here. I cant
even think about losing you. If you go, and it is them
I know youre worried. I do. But I cant bear to think about
losing you either. Were partners, remember? Whatever we do,
were doing it together.
Damn him, throwing my owns words back at me.
Come on, lets bundle up.
We did, pulling on jeans and boots. Before I put my coat on,
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though, Oliver was standing behind me, settling something around

my neck.
What? I reached up to touch whatever it wasand froze.
No, I said firmly. No way. I pulled at the pendant, trying to get
it out of his hands, but he wouldnt budge.
Emrys, dont argue with me. I want you to put this back on.
He continued to tie the leather behind my neck, in spite of my
squirming.
No, damn it! You have to wear this, Oliver. This time when I
pulled away, I got free. I tugged the pendant down and into my
hand, then I stepped toward him, holding it out. You put this on,
you hear me? Its potentially already saved your life twice,
protecting you from gunfire.
Which is why I want you to wear it tonight. If we walk in
there and things are bad His voice was hoarse and I saw
genuine fear on his face. Emrys, you should never have been
exposed, not even potentially, to all this fucked up mess. If
something were to happen to you He choked up, and my heart
broke at the sound. I wouldnt be able to live with myself, he
finished.
I stepped closer to him and pressed a hand against his bearded
cheek. Do you think its any different for me? Im not going to
lose you. Take this. Put it on.
He shook his head.
Take it orIm leaving without you.
His eyebrows shot up. Youre going to play the ultimatum
card?
If thats what it takes. Just do it. Or IllIll stand here and
not touch you and zap your ass with my magick, and youll end up
falling through the floor down into the store. And then you wont
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be able to follow me.

His mouth opened in shock like he was going to say something.
Then closed. Then opened again. Now youre playing the Im a
crappy witch card and youre threatening me? Listen to yourself!
I am listening, I almost shouted. Im not proud of what Im
saying, but Ill do it if I have to because I love you, you dumb ass!
Im so in love with you I cant think straight and in my
premonition Im pretty sure youre the one whos going to get hurt,
and if that happens I will never, ever be able to live with myself
and I sure as hell wont be able to live without you. So quit being
stubborn and justcooperate! If you want to keep me safe, then
wear the damn amulet andand be my bodyguard!
He stared at me for several seconds, his face unreadable. Then
he swallowed and said in a relatively quiet voice after my tirade,
You are a stubborn pain in the butt sometimes, you know that?
I didnt answer, couldnt, because my throat was suddenly tight
with emotion.
He held out his hand. Give me that.
I reached out and set the pendant in his upturned palm.
He grabbed my hand and reeled me in against him and then he
kissed me. So relieved my knees felt like jelly, I let him, and I
kissed back, gods help me, because he felt so good.
You called me a dumb ass, he said, resting his forehead
against mine.
Well, you were being one.
He shook his head slightly. What am I going to do with you?
Then he smiled, just the faintest curve of the lips, but it was there.
Is that a rhetorical question?
No, it might be a literal one. But Im not going to take the
time to figure it out right now. And for the record?
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What?
I love you, too.
That brought a smile to my lips. I know.
All right, lets go. And I trust I dont have to worry about
being zapped when Im not looking? His tone was serious, but the
little flicker of humor in his eyes gave him away.
As long as you behave.
You like it better when I dont.
Pervert.
See, thats what I mean. He kissed me again, smiling, then let
me go and handed me my coat.
I shrugged into it and buttoned up, while he put on his jacket.
Then, after Id found a pair of my spare gloves for him, and we
finished bundling up, we braved the ten degree weather, snow and
wind, and with the use of the shovel I kept sitting on the landing,
dug a path down the steps to my car.
The snowplow had been through, so once we were able to dig
out my car, I thought we would probably be okay on the street.
By the time wed cleared the windshield and windows of snow
and ice and got in the car, it was beginnin to get a little warm since
Id started the engine as soon as wed come outside.
We were easy with each other again, and he didnt seem to be
mad at me for our spat. But I felt bad about it, and at the same
time, I was still worried sick about what was going on at the clinic
and what we might find.
As usual, he seemed to be reading my emotions and settled his
hand on my thigh, offering comfort.
Id only just put the car in gear and had started to back up when
I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. Shit! I put the car back in
Park, tore off my gloves, and fished out the phone.
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Oliver watched, worry radiating from him.

Its a text. From Morgan. I read it aloud. Sorry, busy. The
powers out and the backup generator isnt working. We have to
move the animals to a different location. Were desperate for
help. I let out a relieved breath and looked at Oliver. See, its
gonna be okay. Not the bad guys.
He nodded, but didnt seem completely at ease. Maybe it was
because hed been on the run for so long he was naturally
suspicious, but I felt better having heard from Morgan. If the
power was out and the backup wasnt working, they would have to
move the animals, and it would be a lot of work.
The streets were pretty dead, with most of the good folk of
Salem smart enough to stay home tonight. The plows had gone
through on the main streets, but the snow was still coming down
hard, piling back up fast, and even on the cleared roads, it was
several inches deep because the plows couldnt keep up. This was
obviously a noreaster because Id seldom seem this kind of
intensity in any other type of winter storm. Thankfully, my Subaru
was all-wheel drive and mostly decent on snowy roads. I just took
it slowwe didnt have any choice because of the visibilityand
only slid a couple of times, at intersections.
Its snowing fricking hard out there, I said, as we got back in
the car after having to stop for the third time to get out and clear
off the windshield wipers because of the ice building up on them.
We had it down to a routine nowId do the one on my side and
Oliver would do his, which got us back in the car to the heat faster.
Ive been living in Nebraska for three years, the land of
blizzards, but this is as bad or worse as anything I saw there.
Thankfully were some of the only ones crazy enough to be out
here. Can you imagine what it would be like if more cars were on
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the road?
Wed seen, in fact, numerous cars stalled out and half-buried in
snow on the sides of the roads.
I was busy concentrating and didnt respond to Olivers
comment, but I was starting to feel a real niggling worry. If the
power was out at the clinic I knew it could be a bad situation, but a
part of me had trouble believing Morgan or Geoff would ask
anyone to drive through this to get there. They lived close enough
to hike, and so did Dr. Aubrey, so it made sense for them to be
there. But it bothered me a little that Morgan would ask me to
drive there in this mess. Stillbecause they did live so close,
maybe she wasnt aware of just how bad the roads were.
I didnt share my worry with Oliver, though. He still looked
unsettled anyway, and if I told him my thoughts, I suspected it
would just be something else to weigh on him and I didnt want
that.
I guess I shouldnt have been surprised, though, when, after yet
another stop to do the windshield wiperswe only seemed to be
able to go a few blocks before the ice was back so thick we
couldnt seehe said, Emrys, are you sure your sister would ask
you to come out on a night like this? Even if they were in a crunch
at the clinic?
I gnawed at my lower lip, wondering again myself. II think,
since they live so close and can walk there, they might not realize
how bad the roads are.
He nodded, but yet again didnt seem convinced.
Finally, finally I spotted the clinic through the blowing snow. I
started to turn into the parking lot, but when I saw it hadnt been
plowed and had a foot or more of snow piled up, with drifts even
higher, I pulled over and stopped on the side of the street. My car
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was decent on the roads, but it didnt have a very high clearance
from the ground, and I didnt want to get stuck in the parking lot.
Wed brought the shovel, just in case, but I didnt want to have to
use it.
We got out and hiked across the lot to the building, where I saw
lights on inside, in the back rooms.
There are no other cars here, Oliver said. Wouldnt they
need vehicles to move the animals?
Theyre probably in the back, taking the animals out through
the back door. But were going to go in the front, cause its closer,
so we can get out of this damn weather.
I tried the glass door, but it was locked, so I dug out my keys
and unlocked it. We pushed inside followed by a moan of gusty
air, and once we were in, I pulled the door closed, fighting against
the wind, and relocked it. Not that I thought anybody was going to
suddenly show up with a pet to be seen tonight, but you never
knew, and for security reasons it was safer to keep it locked if we
were in the back.
Morgan? I called, stomping off my boots and pulling off my
hat and shoving it in my coat pocket. I headed toward the reception
desk, but Oliver hung back several steps.
I heard shuffling in the back of the clinic, then saw Morgans
head peer around the corner from the back room, her short brown
hair rumpled around her pixie face. She lookedstressed. But I
guess that was understandable. Emrys, she said. You came.
Yeah, you said you were desperate. I started toward her, but
she looked a little weird, and her eyes were strange, puffy. Hey, I
said gently. I was almost to her. Have you been crying?
Emrys She kind of grunted.
Morg, what is it?
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Her face twisted in pain, and I realized I still couldnt see the
rest of her body. Fear suddenly shot through me. Morgan?
Emrysrun! she whispered. And then, in a split second of
movement, a hand holding a gun smashed it against the side of her
head.

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CHAPTER 15
NO! I cried, and lunged toward her as she fell to the ground.
But before I could get there, a rough hand latched onto my arm
and dragged me up.
My lungs seized with terror when I saw a gun was pointed
directly at my head.
Caught ya like a rabbit in a snare, a rough voice said from
behind the weapon. I was having trouble seeing anything except
the dark metal barrel glinting six inches from my face. Where was
Oliver? Gods, please let him have gotten out of sight.
So baby brother comes running to help his sister, just like we
figured, another man said, joining the first. This one I could see
bettergrizzled, salt-and-pepper hair jutting out from under a
wool beanie, a heavy canvas jacket, pale eyes. He shoved Morgan
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out of the way with his heavy-booted foot.

The sight of him treating my sister like she was nothing but
trash sent a surge of fury through my veins and I glared at him.
Leave her alone, you bastard.
He nodded and the other man cuffed me on the temple with the
butt of the gun. The blow hurt like hell, sending a spike of pain
through my head, and brought me to my knees. I felt the trickle of
hot blood down my face. But with my fury still burning hard, I
defiantly managed to stand back up.
The grizzled one shook his head. You do-gooders, he
sneered, are so predictable. But now youre gonna do some good
for us. You are going to be our bait for a certain Oliver Jaynes aka
David Jennings aka David Johnson.
No, hes not.
Oliver? No! At the sound of his voice behind me cold fear crept
through me. Why had he exposed himself? He could have stayed
hidden, damn it.
He sounded pissed like Id never heard him before. His voice
was resonant, almost a growl, but not the same kind of growl he
used in bed. This was something else altogether. Like an angry
tiger.
The man holding the gun said, Well, well, look what we have
here.
Looks like Christmas just came early, the grizzled man said
with a smile. Who knew it would be so easy. Two for one. Like
shooting fish in a barrel.
Let him go, Oliver said, his voice icy. Im the one you
want.
Indeed you are, the grizzled man said. But your boyfriend
here is gonna make sure to keep you honest.
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He nodded at the man who was holding the gun on me, and I
was suddenly spun around and shoved face-first into the wall. I hit
with a solid thunk that rattled my teeth. My hands were wrenched
behind my back and zip-tied together. Then I was shoved into the
back room. Without the use of my hands to catch myself, I hit the
cabinets on the far wall, then fell to the floor while some of the
things on the countermetal trays, empty syringes, bottles and
jarsfell on top of and around me with a loud clatter.
The cats in the cages just above me set up a squalling racket,
which set off the dogs in the room next door.
Thats when I saw Geoff, tied up, out cold, and as gray as the
tile on the floor, lying facedown only a few feet away from me.
Oh shit! Oh fuck! Was he alive? I tried to see if he was
breathing, but my head was throbbing and I had trouble focusing.
I tried to scramble to a sitting position so I could see what was
happening with Oliver, and see if Morgan was still lying outside
the door, but my body protested, and I winced as the movement
pulled at my shoulders that were stretched way beyond comfort
because of my hands being bound behind my back. When I tried
again, the movement wrenched my shoulder so hard, a flare of
agony exploded in it. Bloody hell!
Suck it up, Emrys. Suck it up and get up! my inner voice
demanded.
Dont fucking touch him again, I heard Oliver say.
Whoa. Again with the hardness Id never heard in his voice
before.
I managed to squirm around enough I could finally see him,
even though I was still mostly lying on my stomach. He was
staring down the grizzled older man without flinching. He was
several inches taller than the goon, and definitely broader in the
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shoulders. But the older man only smiled at him like he presented
no threat at all. In fact, he actually pulled a pack of cigarettes out
of his jacket pocket and took the time to put one in his mouth and
light it. The acrid scent of tobacco curled through the air, blotting
out the usual smells of medicine and healing I associated with the
clinic, and overlaying them with a foulness that I thought might
never go away.
Tie him up, too, the grizzled one told the other man.
When the gunman, and I could now see he was younger, but
tough, like military tough, with a buzz cut and a scar across his
chin, approached Oliver and tried to turn and shove him like he
had me, Oliver fought him. This man, however, was comparable to
Oliver in height, weight, and breadth, and didnt hesitate to land
several blows to Olivers gut and head when he didnt cooperate.
Stop it! I shouted, an angry gust of magick trying to swirl up
through me and escape.
But Oliver held his own, jerking free and landing a punch to
the mans face, making blood spurt from his nose.
He went for another punch, but the grizzled one withdrew a
wicked looking handgun from out of his jacket and said, Best you
behave yourself and cooperate, Junior, or your boyfriend gets a
bullet in the head.
Once again I found a gun trained on me and my body went
cold.
Oh beloved Goddess, pleaseI dont want either of us to die
tonight.
Olivers gaze skittered to me, and for a brief instant I saw fear,
for me, in his eyes. Damn it, Oliver! I wanted him to be afraid for
himself. But as fast as it had appeared, the fear was gone and the
angry, hard mask was back. I saw his throat convulse as he
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swallowed.
You dont have to use him to threaten me. Ill cooperate. See.
He held up his hands.
The military-looking goon glared at him, shoved him against
the wall, and jerked his arms around much as he had mine, but
with a lot more force, then wrapped a plastic zip-tie around his
wrists and pulled it tight.
The sight of Oliver at their mercy did something to me inside,
tearing at my gut and eating at me like a poison. I felt magick
welling up inside me again, burning its way through my veins, into
my organs, and trying to explode.
No. No! I couldnt let it happen. The two men were too close to
Oliver. Anything I did would affect him, too. And as angry as I
was, I knew whatever I set loose would probably be catastrophic.
I grunted softly, struggling to fight back the magickbut it
wanted out. Now.
Be still, you little queer, the grizzled man said, kicking me in
the ribs.
Agh! Pain shot through me again, adding another layer to all
the rest.
Son of a bitch! Oliver was struggling again, trying to get
free, his eyes on me.
I made myself breathe through the agony, then lifted my head
enough to snag his gaze. When I did, I shook my head at him,
trying to make him calm down and stop fighting because it was
only going to get him more hurt, and dead probably a lot sooner.
Stop fighting! I mouthed.
His face tensed and his eyes narrowed. He looked like he
wanted to argue, and if we werent in this position, he probably
would have. But then he sucked in a breath and I saw him trying to
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rein in his temper.

Get him in here, Grizzly Man said. Put him in that chair.
He pointed to a rolling chair sitting in front of the computer the
techs often used in the back. And tie up his legs, too. I dont want
to take any chances with himhes already given us more
problems than hes worth.
The tough man dragged Oliver the rest of the way into the back
room and shoved him into the chair, then produced another pair of
zip-ties and secured Olivers legs to it. I could tell Oliver wanted to
fight, but he was trying hard to keep the urge in check.
While Tough Guy was securing Oliver, Grizzly pulled an old
bandana out of his pocket and roughly shoved it in my mouth,
causing me to gag. It tasted like dust and grease and sweat. Im
shutting you up, faggot. Dont think I didnt see you trying to talk
to your cocksucker boyfriend. He yanked the ends behind my
head and tied them.
He kicked me again, bringing unbidden tears of agony to my
eyes, then turned to Oliver, who was glaring at him and struggling
in his bonds again. Stop hurting him, Oliver growled.
Yeah, whatever. Youve been a pain in the ass, kid, Grizzly
said. You and your daddy and your obnoxious, crazy-ass mother.
Do you know how many times J.D. has wanted to slit his wrists
having to deal with her, put up with her bullshit, all to get her to
talk, except then she talks about everything except what we want
her to.
I wondered who J.D. was, but it sure sounded like it might be
her lover, and if he was, then it also sounded like Oliver had been
right about this J.D. being a plant to get information. In that
moment I hated Olivers mother. I knew I shouldnt. I hadnt been
brought up to hate, but if it was her loose tongue and stupid
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decisions that had landed Oliver in the hands of these killers, then I
hoped the feds put her in prison, along with her sleazy lover
Heres how it gonna work, Grizzly said. Since were stuck
here until the storm is over, were gonna take advantage of that
time to make a phone call. Youre gonna call Daddy. Youre gonna
tell him that we have you and that if he ever wants to see his faggot
boy alive again, hes going come to us and turn himself in. You
see, Mr. Carlyle doesnt take kindly to people who betray him, and
your daddy is the worst kind of rat, slinking around, making us
believe hes one of us, all while he was sneaking off to talk to the
pigs.
Seems like you should have figured out he was a rat, if youre
so good at what you do. Youre the enforcers, right? Oliver said
with a sneer. Isnt it your job to make sure you dont have any
leaks? Howd that go for you? Cause my dad talked to the feds for
months before you ever even knew it. Hes the reason half of
Carlyles lieutenants are rotting in prison right now.
The tough guy punched Oliver in the stomach with a powerful
blow. Oliver grunted and bent over, hanging there for several
moments, while I watched, helpless. But then, slowly, he sat back
up again, and the look on his face was more determined than ever.
Youve got an attitude, kid. And its gonna get you in trouble
if you keep it up. In fact, I think wed better have a lesson in
humility right now.
He pulled out a cell phone and held it up for Oliver to see.
Whats Daddys number?
I dont know.
He has a cell phone, doesnt he?
The feds took it. They always do when they move people.
Yeah, yeah, and we know they moved him to a safe house.
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Okay, then, whats the number for the marshal whos in charge of
your case?
I dont know that either.
Oh, I think you do. I think they make you memorize it when
you go into protective custody, so you know how to get hold of
them if you need to.
I dont know, Oliver ground out.
The tough guy hit him again in the stomach, and once more it
took every ounce of my attention to control my magick. For the
first time in my life I wanted to hurt someone. I wanted to let loose
and allow my magick to fry both these bastards.
Stop. Stop it. Hate and magickbad. You know the stories of
some of the people whove used it for harm and what its done to
them and the people they love. Its one thing when it slips out of
your control unwittingly, but its another thing altogether for you
to allow your meltdowns to harm people because thats your
intent.
Oh godswhat was I going to do?
Because I had to do something. We had to get out of here, had
to get away from these men. But I couldnt do anything that would
risk Olivers or Morgans or Geoffs life, if Geoff was even still
alive. Nausea churned in my stomach at the realization that he
might be dead. He was still lying in the same spot, unmoving.
All the images from my premonition came back to me in force.
Wed fought through the icy blizzard in the dark to get here. Id
seen the metallic glint of the gun in my face. There was certainly
blood. I could smell its coppery scent on my face, and saw it on
Olivers as well, where it looked like he had a split lip, and a cut
on his cheek. I tried to see if Morgan was bleeding out in the hall,
but her body Gods! Dont say body, that implies shes dead. I
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couldnt see Morgan because she was out of my line of vision.

Now, Grizzly said, give me a fucking phone number for
your marshal.
I dont know it, Oliver repeated.
Grizzly stepped over to me and pressed the butt of the weapon
against my temple, smearing it in the blood that was already there.
Let me ask you one more time, lover boy. Whats the number?
Oliver stared at me, his eyes suddenly bleak. And I stared back,
my heart pounding so hard I could hear it in my ears.
Whats the number? Grizzly shouted, jabbing the gun hard
into my head. I cringed away, but he followed, never removing it.
Dont! Oliver said, his voice shaking. Ill give it to you.
Another jab in my temple. Then do it!
Its 800-445-0511. Thats it, I swear. Her names Deborah
Marconi. She knows where my dad is. You can tell her that youre
calling for me, that I just want to know how my dads doing. You
can give her this code: 7756490. Shell know its legitimate
because thats my code, and then shell put you through to my
dad.
Good boy. See how much nicer things go when you behave?
Grizzly punched the numbers into the phone and all was silent
while he listened to the ringing. I couldnt hear it, but he must have
gotten an answer because he said, Yes, hi, altering his voice to
sound friendlyalmost sappy. My name is Emrys Andrews
my eyes widened in disbelief to hear him use my name!and Im
a friend of David Johnsons. He wanted me to let you know hes
safe, and he asked me to get in touch with his dad for him.
Words were spoken on the other end of the line.
Yes, no problem, I understand. He told me to tell you that his
code number is He looked over at Tough Guy, who held up a
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piece of paper where hed obviously jotted the numbers when

Oliver said them. 7756490.
Another pause. Grizzly kept his gaze trained on Oliver, and his
gun on me. Oliver watched only me, his breathing coming out in
stuttered huffs, his face lined with worry, his eyes awash with fear
for me.
Grizzly was speaking into the phone again. He told me not to
tell you where he is because its safer that way. Hes worried
someones following him, but he asked me to get a message to
you, and to his dad. He misses his dad and hes worried about
him.
Another pause.
Well, no, its a private message. He made me promise not to
tell it to anyone else. Please, if you could just put me through to
him.
Grizzlys eyes had narrowed. I saw Olivers breathing quicken
as his fear heightened, and I knew he was afraid the marshal
wouldnt put the goon through to his dad. If she didnt
Goddess, please dont let us die. Please help me find a way to
get us out of here.
The tension in the room mounted as we waited, and I struggled
with the need to throw up from the foul gag in my mouth, the pain
throbbing in my body, the sight of my brother-in-laws gray form
on the floor, and trying to keep my magick in check, which was
getting harder by the second. The more afraid and worried I
became, the tougher it was to keep a grip on it.
Concentrate. You cant use it. Youll hurt Oliver and Geoff and
Morgan.
Where was Morgan? I couldnt see her and I was afraid for her.
She was so petite, and that asshole had hit her hard. I knew now
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that theyd probably forced her to lure me here by holding a threat

over Geoff. Morgan was the sensitive one in the family, the
gentlest. She loved Geoff to distraction, and since they couldnt
have kids, he and the animals she adopted were her whole world. I
couldnt imagine what would happen to her if she lost Geoff. I
couldnt imagine how Id feel if she was gone.
Finally, Grizzly said, Oh thank you so much! in that fake,
sappy voice.
Please let that mean theyre putting him through to Olivers
dad.
Grizzly put a hand over the phone and said to Oliver, Will
they be listening in on this call?
Maybe.
Maybes not good enough, kid. He jabbed me with the gun
again.
Yes! Oliver said. Yes, probably. They dont always, but
they might be since this is kind of weird.
Grizzly nodded, then in a few moments, said, Hi, Mr.
Johnson! My names Emrys Andrews and Im a friend of your
sons. He wanted me to let you know that hes safe, but hes found
something he thinks youll find interesting. Im not sure what he
means, but he says he knows whos responsible and that you would
understand. He wanted me to tell you that hes going to be waiting
for you atlet me see if I have this address right. I wrote it
down
He had no address or anything else in front of him, nor was
Tough Guy holding up his notepad this time, so this was all playacting.
Sorry, Ive got it now. He said he wanted you to come to the
park-n-ride on Ault Avenue in Monroe, Indiana. Hell be there
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tomorrow evening at seven P.M. He said to come alone because

youll be safer. Does all that mean something to you?
There was talking on the other end because Grizzly was silent.
Then
Yes, sir. Ill let him know.
Grizzly punched the off button and tossed the phone at Tough
Guy.
Will he come alone? Tough Guy asked.
No, his keepers will never let him come by himself. If they let
him come at all, theyll be all over him.
Then whats the point? Tough Guy said, his tone surly.
The point is that if he comes, it doesnt matter whether hes
got his babysitters with him. Well be waiting and well take him
out regardless. If we get some of them, thats an added bonus. If he
doesnt come, we use Junior herehe motioned at Oliveras
leverage. Theyll never let an innocent kid die, so theyll work a
trade. Juniors daddys been a pain in their ass from the get-go,
thanks to Mrs. Pain-in-the-Ass. And, hes dirty. He worked for the
organization, so even though the feds let him off, they wont lose
any sleep if he doesnt make it.
Ive helped you, Oliver said. Ive done what you asked, and
Ill go with you to Indiana. But let the rest of them go now.
Grizzly gave him an almost humorous look. The other ones
dead already, but you think we should just let your boyfriend and
his sister walk away?
Theres no reason not to. You have what you want. The roads
arent that bad out there. We could leave now, you could leave
them tied up, and by the time they get themselves untied or
someone finds them, well be long gone.
Huh. Grizzly made a show of looking thoughtful, but I could
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feel the measure of his soul, and I knew there was no way we were
walking away from this.
The only hope we had was me and my shitty, impossible
magick. If I could get close enough to Oliver to touch him, then we
might have some real hope. But he was a good twelve feet away
from me, and in my current condition, with my hands tied and me
unable to move effectively, and him tied to the chair, it was only a
dream.
I knew I was going to have to try to use my own clusterfuck
version of magick.
Bzzzzt! Grizzly said. Wrong answer, kid. We always clean
up our loose ends.
Without any warning or drama, he pointed the gun at my head
and pulled the trigger.

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CHAPTER 16
Click.
What the fuck? Grizzly shouted. He pulled the trigger again.
Click.
You mother fuckin piece of shit! He tried again.
Click.
I was pretty sure Id stopped breathing several seconds ago,
when Id looked at Grizzly and knew what he was going to do a
split second before hed done it. When they tell you that your life
flashes before your eyes when youre about to dieits a lie.
When it happens like this, its too fast. Theres no time. Click and I
was gone.
Or should have been.
I didnt know why I wasnt, or how it had happened. I didnt
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have time to think about that either. It was time for me to go into
nuclear meltdown. It was a risk to all of usOliver, Morgan, and
mebut if it took out the bad guys, so be it. One more click and I
might not be so lucky and then wed all die for sure.
I looked one last time at Oliver, who was staring at me in
shock, and I smiled at him. I hoped he knew how much I loved him
and how happy he made me. Then I closed my eyes and let my
magick build
Click.
My luck was going to run out eventually.
Give me your piece, Grizzly demanded of Tough Guy.
It was now or never to let loose.
But once again, the unexpected happened. In the blink of an
eye before I let all hell break loose, I felt the restraints around my
wrists snap free, as well as the bandana tied behind my head.
What? My eyes shot open and I saw Morgans dark head, near
the floor as if she were lying on her stomach, peering around the
door in the hallway. Her face was bruised, she looked sick and in
pain, and her eyes were dazed, like shed just come around. But
her hand was still in the air from where shed just swished it to do
magick.
Get em, she mouthed. Then she swished her hand again and
when I followed her gaze, I saw that Olivers bonds had just
broken, too.
Tough Guy was busy handing Grizzly his gun, and Grizzly was
busy taking it.
So neither of them were prepared when Oliver said, Emrys,
now!
He lunged toward me, holding out his hand, and I suddenly
knew exactly what he was thinking. I clawed the foul bandana out
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of my mouth and reached for him. Our gazes locked and our
fingers touched at the same moment Grizzly got the new gun up
and aimed.
I focused magick at him and let go.
Before he could fire, he was thrown backward and hit the cat
cages with a loud crash. The gun clattered away, sliding under one
of the shelves. The cats screeched and began squalling again, and
Grizzly lay flat on his back on the floor.
But he wasnt done. He scrambled to his feet with fury burning
in his eyes. What is this? he hissed.
Tough Guy was on the move toward us in my peripheral vision,
and I turned my focus on him long enough to send a burst of
magick at him, which sent him flying as well. Then I turned back
to Grizzly, who was stalking toward us where we sat on the floor.
I held my finger up and pointed at him. Just pointed, nothing
else.
He blanched at the simple gesture. You you little queer.
What is this?
In one smooth motion I stood. I have no idea how, or where I
got the energy, or how it seemed as easy as gliding, but I had
power flowing through me like Id never felt before, rippling in my
veins, making my skin and even my scalp tingle. But it wasnt dark
power. It waslike sunshine, bright and golden and good.
I smiled. I felt Oliver behind me, his hands up under my coat,
pressed against my back. Where he touched, my skin was hot, like
butter melting on toast.
What are you smiling at? What kind of freak are you?
Grizzly shouted.
Hes a superhero, Oliver said. My superhero. Which makes
him your worst nightmare.
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Tough Guy was crawling across the floor toward Grizzly, and I
waited until he got there.
What the fuck, boss? he muttered, using Grizzlys leg for
support as he stared at me.
The older man kicked him aside, much as hed done Morgan
earlier.
I saw Morgan still peering around the door, her eyes wide. She
was staring at me, too. What the hell?
This is fucking insane. Youre all freaks! Grizzly said. Im
getting out of here.
Me, too, his partner choked out, scrambling to his feet.
No, I said calmly. Nobodys going anywhere. With a flick
of my fingers I pushed them back against the cages.
Ow, shit! Tough Guy said, jerking his hand in front of him,
and staring at the blood welling up on the pad between his thumb
and forefinger. That little fucker bit me!
I looked to see which cat had gotten him and my heart tripped.
Rocky! Rocky was still here! And hed bitten the bastard! Good on
him!
But then Tough Guy turned to the cage, vivid rage on his face,
his hand out to open the door and get payback.
Oh no, I dont think so, I growled. With a broader swipe of
my hand, and a few choice words on my tongue, I pushed magick
at the two men.
This time, no one flew anywhere. Instead, a green circle of fire
churned into life in the air around them. They shouted as they were
sucked into itfartherfarther. The circle suddenly compressed
to the size of a grapefruit, held that form for a couple of seconds,
and then expanded again and exploded with a noise that sounded
like a mini sonic boom. Green crystals shimmered in the air,
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falling to the floor.

When they dissipated, we stood staring down at two gray rats
with bald tales and twitching whiskers.
Before they had a chance to run, I flicked my fingers again to
open the lowest cage directly behind them, then swished them into
it and shut the cage door with a clank.
Olivers voice broke the astonished silence.
Fucking hell, he said breathlessly behind me.
I was kind of breathless myself.
And unexplainably horny.
He turned me around in his arms and stared at me for a
moment, a look of awe on his face. Emrys Andrews, you are
fucking incredible.
Im justme, I think. I felt like it again anyway. Not that I
hadnt been me before. I was just a powered-up, full of sunshine
me. Now I was back to regular old me.
He pulled me into his arms and kissed me. Then he grinned.
Meerschaums Guide to Animal Transfiguration?
I shrugged and smiled sheepishly. It seemed like the thing to
do at the time. Then I sobered Morgan!
We both turned to find Morgan kneeling on the floor next to
Geoffs body.
Oh gods. I sank down next to her and put my hand on her
shoulder, giving it a squeeze.
But, to my surprise, she looked at me and smiled. Hes alive.
Hes just unconscious. I dont sense anything too horribly wrong
with him, so I think hell be okay. But we do need to call an
ambulance.
Ill do it, Oliver said. Emrys, can you hand me your phone,
babe?
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I reached into my coat pocket and pulled it out. When I did,

something was tangled around it. I did a double take and looked to
see what it was. Leather cord anda gray stone pendant with
runes carved on it.
My gaze shot up to Oliver. What did you do?
I slipped it into your pocket before we left the apartment. I
told you you needed it tonight. And it worked, he said softly.
The misfiring gun. Holy shit, I whispered.
Thats the amulet Grandpa Joe made for you, isnt it?
Morgan asked. I havent seen you wear it in ages.
It was protecting someone else for a while, I said, still unable
to tear my gaze away from Oliver. You saved my life, I told him,
my chest squeezing.
And youve saved mine more than once.
I love you, I breathed.
He smiled and the world was suddenly and completely right. I
love you.
And I love you both, Morgan said, her eyes glinting with
humor. And I want to know everything. How you met, why
Emrys can suddenly do magick like some kind of powerful witch
elder, and why Ive never met you She paused, as if waiting for
him to fill in the blank.
Oliver, he said, holding out his hand and smiling.
She took it. Oliver, she said. You remind of that boy who
played on the Salem football team a few years ago, the star
everyone talked about. David something.
He just smiled and didnt say anything, and neither did I.
But right now, can we please call an ambulance for my
husband? And all three of us really need to be seen, too. I think
youre both going to need a few stiches and some good
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painkillers.
Im on it right now, Oliver said, taking the phone that Emrys
had still been holding out. He walked a few steps away, made the
call, and I heard him talking to the 9-1-1 dispatcher.
Oh crap! I said suddenly. Rockys still here, and he bit that
guy. I stood and went to his cage. I opened the door and reached
in cautiously, in case he was still upset. But he accepted my hand
without any hesitation. I scratched under his chin. Hey, dude,
howre you doing? Youre a hero, you know?
He actually leaned into me a little bit, which I was so glad to
see. And then I heard him purr. Morgan, hes purring! I said,
looking over my shoulder at her.
She nodded, not seeming surprised. Geoff had thought he
might have to euthanize him, but when he came in early this
morning, Rocky seemed to be just a teensy bit better, so he decided
to give him another day.
Im telling you right now, I said, giving the cat another
gentle stroke, then closing his cage, Geoffs not going to
euthanize this guy, ever. And no offense, because I know youre
the best pet rescue mom in the world, but when hes well enough,
Im taking Rocky home with me.
I totally give up all rights to him. I think hes meant to be
yours. And Olivers.
I smiled.
Hes your soul mate, you know? Oliver.
My gaze slid to Oliver, who was still on the phone, before
returning to my sister. I know. Hebalances me. Completes me.
A soft smile played over her mouth and her hand gently stroked
Geoffs hair. I know exactly what you mean. She looked back up
at me and nodded toward the rats in the lower cage. What are you
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going to do about them?

I looked down at them and a bitter taste filled my mouth. I
dont know. Nothing yet. I think Im going to let them stew for a
few days. Olivers been hunted for so many years and I want all
that to go away for him. I want my gift to him to be freedom and a
chance to really live without having to look over his shoulder.
I dont feel right leaving these two asshole as rats. But if I
change them back, even if theyre arrested, its not going to stop
others from coming for Oliver.
When you get ready to deal with them, I might have some
ideas, she said.
Really?
She lifted an eyebrow. I know everyone thinks Im the sweet
one in the family, but those two almost killed my husband, and me,
and my brother and his soul mate. It might come as a shock to you,
but I know how to play the bad witch when its necessary.
A slow grin spread over my face. Youre on.
Good. Now go be with your man. Hes strong and brave, but
hes a gentle soul at heart and hes been hurting for a long time. He
needs you to help him heal and become whole again.
I looked back at Oliver, who met my gaze with a smile that, as
always, filled me with so much warmth I could melt into a puddle
at his feet. I went to him and wrapped my arms around him from
behind and hugged him.
When he got off the phone, he turned to me and drew me into
his embrace. Theyre on their way. I was purposely vague on the
phone about what happened, but what are we going to tell them
when they get here?
Im not sure. Well let Morgan do the talking. Shes good at
that kind of thing and will have the cops thinking whatever she
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wants them to think by the time they leave. Shes going to help me
deal with them in a few days as well. I nodded to the rats.
You doing okay? I asked, wiping at the trail of blood on his
cheek.
Yeah. Ill be okay. How are you? The worry lines were back
on his face. When they were hurting you, Emrys, all I could think
about was how much I wanted to hurt them first.
Thanks to you, Im alive and Ill be fine. I caressed his
cheek, loving the feel of his scruff against my fingers.
Theyll still send others after me eventually, you know.
I stood on tiptoe and kissed him. Not if Morgan and I have
anything to say about it. Well find a way, Oliver. I promise. You
wont ever have to run again.
*

As it turned out, my sister was even better at making people do

things she wanted than Id ever imagined.
A few days after that night at the clinic, she and I and Oliver
who, as much as he wanted to be modest about it, was the true
source of my powerreturned the foul little rats to human form.
And then Morgan, my sweet sister with a heart of iron, compelled
them to forget everything that had happened that night and planted
in their minds a totally different memory, of how theyd killed
Oliver Jaynes once and for all, and he would no longer be a person
of interest to the organization because he was dead.
She told them to go back to their boss and report this, and even
provided them with pictures of Oliver lying on the ground dead. It
had been a little morbid, splashing him with fake blood and
making him look pale and deceased so we could photograph him,
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but hed been a good sport about it, and in the end didnt seem too
traumatized over having to fake his own death.
Id held my breath, wondering if all Morgans weaving of
stories in their minds was really going to work, but damned if it
didnt, and the two foul rats in human form trotted back to their
boss in Chicago, never to be seen again. Oliver had found, through
some inside sources at the U.S. Marshals Service, that they
believed him to be dead as well.
The only downside to the whole plan was that Oliver could
never contact his parents again because they, too, had to believe
hed been killed. He, however, didnt see it as a downside at all
and had seemed almost relieved to be able to cut all ties with them.
I hated that his family had been such a source of pain for him over
the years, and the idealist in me wished it could have been different
for him. But after that, he seemed happier and more relaxed than
Id ever seen him.
And my family had taken him in like a long-lost beloved
relation. My sister Willow adored him, and my parents treated him
like their other son. We didnt tell my mom and dad about Olivers
pastonly Morgan and Geoff knew because, of course, wed told
them everything in the days following the ordeal at the clinic. It
wasnt that we didnt trust my parents, we all just felt that the
fewer people who knew the truth, the less likely thered ever be a
slip-up and risk the crime organization finding out he was still
alive.
My parents and Willow had commented at first on the same
thing Morgan had, how much Oliver looked like that old high
school football star, David Jennings. Wed told them Oliver was
actually a distant cousin of Davids, which had explained the
family resemblance. Oliver had grown his beard out and wore it
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in a goatee nowwhich was so damn sexy a day rarely passed that

I didnt tell him as muchso very few people in town had made
the connection between the seventeen-year-old straight football
star from years ago, with the hot hunk who was now Emrys
Andrews boyfriend.
My mom had never asked me outright if he was the one Id told
her about in my despair that night so long ago, but I dont think she
could mistake it because, the fact of the matter was, Oliver and I
were pretty much inseparable.
He even had a job now, working at the magick store. With his
soon-to-be-had degree in businesshe was planning to start back
to school at Salem State with me in Januaryand retail
experience, my mom was so over the moon with him that she was
actually grooming him to become the store manager since she still
hadnt found anyone to replace the old one whod left. For Olivers
part, he was thrilled with all of it. He loved the magick store, the
library, loved learning about every aspect of the magick life. The
night Id first taken him into the library Id created an eager
scholarly monster and he couldnt get enough. It also made it very
nice that he worked where we lived, because when I didnt have
class, I could hang out in the store and be close to him. And, well, I
have to confess, it made for damned convenient quickies whenever
we had a chance to sneak off and be by ourselves.
There was just one obstacle left. Finding a way to give him his
life back all the way. Id promised him that, and I meant to keep
the promise. He deserved to live his life fully on his own terms
again without having to worry about what foul creature might
crawl out of the woodwork one day and steal everything from him
again.
And then one night, as we were sharing our nightly pastime of
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reading magick books, I found something. It was an old ritual, one

that had been done, apparently, by a witch in the old world, to
protect her lover from the church during the witch hunts in Europe.
Id studied it in depth to be sure it could still be done in modern
times with modern ingredients and modern language. And then Id
run it past Morgan to get her thoughts. After she and I had spent
several days doing comparisons of modern herbs with old ones, we
were ready.
The spell had to be done on the night of a full moon, which, for
us, fell on the night before the winter solstice.
It was kind of perfect, actually, I thought, as I prepared the
items Id need. Snow was falling again outside this evening, and
even though we couldnt see the full moon behind the heavy
clouds, it didnt matter because her light was surrounding us in
spirit, as was the peace and joy of the yuletide.
I was done with classes for the semester, and neither Oliver nor
I had had to work today, a Saturday, so wed shopped for presents,
picked up a few things from the pet store for Rocky, whod be
coming home to live with us in a few days, had gone out to lunch,
then come home and spent the afternoon in our favorite place
bed. The sex, dear gods dont ask me how, had only gotten better
and better as we learned each others bodies and desires more
intimately. I could barely look at the man without getting aroused,
even if we were doing something as simple as grocery shopping or
laundry.
When wed finally crawled out of bed this afternoon,
thoroughly sated and intoxicated on each other, wed showered and
dressed warmly since the apartment was cold again tonight, and
then Id begun the preparations for the spellsmudging the
apartment, arranging herbs and candles, and casting a circle around
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him as he sat cross-legged on the floor in the middle of it.

My hands were a little sweaty and I had a few butterflies in my
stomach from nerves, but I felt confident the spell was going to
work. When it did, it would make Olivernot just the building we
lived in, but Oliver himselfunseeable to anyone in his past
before Salem, and anyone who sought to cause him harm, either
physically, verbally, or by association. It would allow him to be
whomever he wanted to be with no fears. There were probably
going to be a few quirks wed have to figure out as he moved
forward into the future, but he was aware of them and had agreed
the minor inconveniences that might pop up were worth it overall.
So now it was just a matter of finishing up a few details.
Hold still, I said. Youre going to break the circle, and we
both have to be in it so we can stay in contact.
Worry, worry, bitch, bitch.
I smiled. Do you want to do this right or not?
Of course I do, because when magick goes well for you it
always makes you horny and I get to reap the benefits.
I outright grinned at that. Pervert. So you dont care at all
about the spell, then, as long as you get the sex afterward. Never
mind we just spent the whole afternoon in bed.
He suddenly pulled me down onto his lap and kissed me. You
know I care, he said, turning serious. Because if this works, it
means I get to kiss you and do thishe grabbed the crotch of my
jeans where I was already hard, and gave me a slow, hot groping
every day for the rest of our lives.
Gods, I love the sound of that.
So do I. So, yeah, I care a lot about this spell.
Then lets do it. Are you ready?
Youre the great and powerful witch, he said with a smile.
247

FAMILIAR

The only thing that makes me great and powerful is you, I

told him in all seriousness, my heart so full it ached.
I slid off his lap and rose to my knees to reach the spell book at
the edge of the circle. When I turned back to face him, he was on
his knees as well and he gently took the book from me and laid it
aside, then held both my hands in his.
What is it? I asked. Are you having second thoughts?
He shook his head. Never. I justI need to talk to you.
Okay.
Emrys, when this is over, when I finally wont have to worry
about my past anymore, Ive been thinking a lot about the future.
So have I.
He smiled, kissed his thumb, and pressed it against my lip. A
few weeks ago, I asked you if youd help me take back my life,
and you have, more spectacularly than I ever could have imagined.
I asked you to be my partner, and you agreed and have been there
for me in ways I could never have foreseen. But now, as an almost
free man, I need to ask you something else.
Whatever it is, you know Im all yours.
Thats kind of what Im counting on. His smile was making
me dizzy. Sometime, in the not too distant future, when life settles
down
He paused and look at me with such intensity in his gaze that I
felt my butterflies return to flight in full swing.
Will you marry me, Emrys Andrews, and make me, an already
fantastically happy guy, even more so?
Oh. My. Gods. I dont know why, but I hadnt seen this
coming. I stared at him, my heart racing a marathon, my throat
clogged with emotion.
Ive rendered you speechless. That doesnt happen very
248

FAMILIAR

often.
It happens more than you think, I said, my voice gone all
croaky from the lump in my throat.
I love you, Emrys. I cant imagine my world without you in it
and I want to spend the rest of my life showing you how much I
cant live without you. Will you let me do that?
Joy spread through me and I grinned. Yes. Yes, I will let you
do that, and, yes, I will marry you, you crazy, gorgeous man.
Because I love you like mad and I cant live without you either.
Being with him filled me with a hope for the future that just a
few weeks ago I would never have dreamed possible. And when he
kissed me, letting all his love pour into my soul, and I returned it in
kind, I knew life would never be the same again.

249

M. L. RHODES
Award-winning and best-selling author M. L. Rhodes lives in the
foothills of the Rocky Mountains with her physicist husband, two
teenage boys, and a menagerie of animals. Shes been writing
professionally for seventeen years. Her characterization and
emotional storytelling have received high critical acclaim and
garnered her numerous awards in the writing industry. Shes had
books published in several genres, but her focus now is entirely on
gay male romance, which is her passion!
If youd like to keep up with whats going on in M. L.s world and
find out about her new and upcoming releases, check out her
website at www.mlrhodeswriting.com.

Dont miss Into The Woods

by M. L. Rhodes,
available at AmberAllure.com!

Shaun McCarry left home as a young teenager, certain that

whatever he had to do to survive on his own was better than being
dragged around the country by his troubled, alcoholic father. Once
he got away, he vowed never to look back. But years later, on the
eve of his thirtieth birthday, he receives a bizarre letter from his

dad indicating Shauns in grave danger. The letter sends him on a

journey deep into the heart of the Appalachian Mountains. There,
he uncovers a disturbing family history that leaves Shaun
questioning everything he thought he knew about his past and even
his future.
His only ally comes in the form of a mysterious drifter named
Rannon James who seems to know more about Shauns history
than Shaun does. Shauns drawn to the sexy and vaguely familiar
man. And when Rannon tells him a story of love and loss, of loyalty
and betrayal, and of two childhood friends who share a destiny,
Shaun realizes hes inextricably and intimately linked to the other
man.
But with danger stalking his every move, and fighting a terrifying
change in himself that he never asked for, Shauns not sure who he
can trust. Maybe not even himself

AMBER QUILL PRESS, LLC

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