R.AGE

wednesday 8 June 2011

By NIKI CHEONG
alltherage@thestar.com.my

T The Worldwide Developers

Conference (WWDC) in San
Francisco, California, on early
Tuesday morning, Malaysian time,
Apple revealed the features of the new iOS 5
for the iPad, iPod and
iPhone.
The upgrade to the
operating system
will see users getting a host of new
features that is set
to turn the mobile
experience more
social.
The biggest news
on the social front
would be Twitter integration, allowing you
to easily send tweets
from Safari, Photos,
Camera, YouTube or
maps.
There are also others
such as a new To Do list, a notification centre and even the ability
to activate an iOS device without
hooking it up to a computer.
The one thing that really grabbed
my attention, however, is the new
iMessage, which lets face it will
just be an Apple-fied version of the
BlackBerry Messenger (BBM).
Like the BBM, the iMessage system will allow users to send unlimited amounts of messages to one
another (over a data plan, which
helps you save on SMS charges). It
will also alert a user to when his or
her message has been delivered and
when it has been read.
Not unlike the BBM, this new
feature from the iPhone will allow
group chats and the sharing of pictures and videos as well.
And exactly like the BBM, the
iMessage only supports one plat-

Message received?
form which
means it really
only works if
both users are
using an iOS
device.
Waitaminute,
isnt that one of
the reasons Apples
Facetime hasnt really
taken off?
While it is about time
that Apple came up with a messaging system (heck, there are already
four incarnations of the iPhone),
youd think that it would take into
account what else is out there.
For a while now, there has
been quite a bit of pressure on the
BlackBerry to bridge its BBM to
other platforms. Understandbly,
the company has been resisting the
idea (although, there have been
rumours that RIM is considering it)
as the BBM, besides its powerful
push system for e-mail, is arguably
its strongest selling point.
But what is Apples excuse?
Already, group messaging systems such as WhatsApp are already
gaining major popularity due to its
ability to bridge different platforms,
whether its Apple, BlackBerry or
Android devices.
These systems work the same
way as the BBM and now, the iMessages, except that you can chat
with people using different mobile
devices. Most of its general features
are similar, and the only downside
is that they are not native to oper-

Suspicious
of stepmum

AM 14 years
old and I
have a problem with my
stepmother. Ive
been checking
her SMS messages for about a year
now because I suspect she is cheating
on my father. She uses words such as
darling in her messages to someone.
She also used an ellipsis instead of a name
for that number, which makes me even
more suspicious of it being a man.
Occasionally, she would go out during
the evenings to meet up with her friends.
One day, my brother and I were visiting my
friends house when we saw her ringing the
doorbell of another house down the road.
She was greeted by a man and they proceeded inside.
My brother and I were horrified so I copied the secret phone number and decided
to give it a call from a public phone. To my
horror, the person who picked up the phone
was a man.
Ive been living in fear of my stepmother
cheating on my father for a year now. I know
my father loves her very very much but I
dont think she feels the same for him. If I
tell my father, he might break up with her.
If I dont, Ill live like this till something else
happens.
The last thing I want to see is a divorce.
What should I do? I need help. Lost
Without A Clue

Su Ann
The situation that you have just described
is extremely vague, and it seems that you
are filling in a lot of the blanks with paranoia
and highly dramatic scenarios.

Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Inc, introducing the companys new operating systems at the World Wide Developers
Conference in San Francisco, California, earlier this week.
ating system, the way the BBM is to
the BlackBerry OS and iMessages to
the iOS.
Apple has a reputation for being
protective of its products but unlike
BlackBerry, this messaging system
is not its only (or strongest) selling
point.
In an age where people are starting to question Facebooks attempts

to wall people in, and Apples territorial manoeuvers, it puzzles me as

to why Apple hasnt opened up its
messaging system.
One possible other reason I am
imagining is that they will need
to find a way to let people on the
other platforms download the app
outside of its App Store (or let them
in).

I have no doubt that the bridging

will happen (probably sooner than
BlackBerry will work on theirs) but
until that happens, I dont think
theres much to celebrate about this
new messaging system.
I will probably download the
app, as I did Facetime, but until I
can work across the platforms, Im
sticking to WhatsApp.

The Star does not give any warranty on accuracy, completeness,

usefulness, fitness for any particular purpose or other assurances
as to the opinions and views expressed in this column. The Star
disclaims all responsibility for any losses suffered directly or indirectly arising from reliance on such opinions and views.

Visiting a house at which a man opens

the door does not at all determine that
your stepmother is cheating on your
father. It merely means that shes visiting
a mans house.
If your stepmother truly was cheating on
your father with someone else, would she
be so foolish as to name that person with
an ellipsis in her address book, or even leave
the messages undeleted on her phone?
You are letting your fear and paranoia run
away with you. The conclusions that you
have drawn are not supported by concrete
evidence. If this is really bothering you, the
first person you need to talk to is your stepmother.
Dont accuse her of anything, but rather
inform her of what youre afraid might be
happening, and what little information you
have that led you to suspect she is cheating.
She is not going to appreciate the fact that
you followed her and snooped through her
phone, but those are things you have to take
responsibility for if youre going to confront
your stepmother.
It will be difficult, but try to connect with
her on a more personal level, which will
help you towards receiving the answers you
are looking for.
If you dont trust that you will be safe
in a confrontation with your stepmother,
perhaps speak to a relative whom you trust,
who knows her well and who can be objective about the situation. however, this is a
very undesirable move as you run the risk
of this relative alarming your father unnec-

essarily or talking about this with other

parties, which might unfairly damage your
stepmothers name.
Cheating is a very serious thing and any
discussion should be kept as much as possible to the three people in the relationship
triangle. On a final note, why is divorce the
last thing you want to see? If your father
was truly being cheated on, is divorce still
the worst option?

Rusyan
Be careful of reading too much into what
your stepmother is doing because it will
always be hard to get the whole story from
the small moments that you see. What you
build from your suspicions could be something completely different from whats actually happening.
Its difficult, but keep calm because uncontrollable emotions will make a tough situation worse. Try talking to your father about
it. Your feelings are real, and you have every
right to express your concerns to him. But
understand that at the end of the day, your
actions (even as their daughter) are limited.
The issues that your father and stepmother
face must be discussed and worked out
between the two of them.
how ever their marriage turns out is, ultimately, up to them.
This is why you cannot allow yourself to
drown in their issues. Youve got every right
to express yourself to your parents about
whats going on and offer any help or sup-

hey guys, just hit us up with any problems you have in life in Ask Anything.
RUSYAN SOPIAN and LIM SU ANN will
lend their ears and dig deep into their
life experiences (ahem!). They will part
with some sound advice that might help
you make your life altering decisions.
If you have anything thats troubling
you, get in touch with us at
ask.anything@thestar.com.my. You
can use a pseudonym but include your
name, contact number/e-mail address/
postal address in your letter.
port that theyll need. But dont anchor yourself in the problems adults face. Youve got
your own life to build and explore.
There will be tense times, but learn to separate yourself from whats bothering you so
you can focus on yourself. Reach out to your
friends, and remember to spend time with
them. Focus on school and the things you
love to do in your spare time. Youre lucky
youve got a brother to lean on, too, so make
sure you support each other and spend more
time together.