A Ride With A Purpose a mentoring story from Tioga, NY

My name is Denny Bell, I'm 56, married for 34 years and have 2 grown daughters. My wife and
I moved to this area of the country 4 years ago from N.E. Ohio in order for me to accept a new
job.
Many years ago I read The Purpose Driven Life, by pastor and author Rick Warren. I have
always felt blessed to have the childhood, marriage and daughters that God gave me and I was
looking for the right opportunity to give back. The Catholic Charities Mentoring Program
connected with my need.
My mentee is a 10 year old boy that has not had an adult male in his life with any consistency for
several years.
This experience is no different than building relationships with adults, it starts with trust.
However a youth has a limited frame of reference and only knows what they have seen and
heard. It's amazing how influenced kids are by their surroundings and that can be positive or
negative. It has been very rewarding to see positive behaviors appear if even slowly, as it is
confirmation that we all have the capacity to do the right thing, we just need to have some
positive role models to encourage the appropriate behaviors.
After the first few months, I approached my mentees guardian about acquiring a bike for him.
They do not have private or public transportation. He lives near the center of a small town and
getting to the public pool, parks and friends by bike would not have been overly risky. I asked
him what type of a bike he would like and then set out to find some used bike choices on Craig's
List. We made a day of it and discussed how this was an opportunity for him to show everyone
that he could be responsible with something of value. When we found the one that he desired the
look of joy on his face will always be remembered. Over time, the bike has become an important
tool in our mentoring relationship. We often go for bike rides during our mentoring time. We
also have over time had to repair the bike together and I have used it as a tool to discuss other
things regarding respect, responsibility and gratitude. I feel the bike has created a positive
memory for my mentee to look back on.
I recently stopped into the Boy's and Girl's club to fill out the background check form to permit
me to participate in the in-house activities and when I introduced myself to the head counselor he
said, "Wow, whatever you are doing with him, but it is really working. We have noticed that he
controls himself so much better than before. If something would upset him previously he would
swear and leave the facility. Now we find he will go over and sit by himself and gather control
and then return to the group activity.
As stated above, we all just need to have some positive role models to encourage the appropriate
behavior.

A note about the Tioga Mentoring Program:

Catholic Charities of Tompkins/Tioga started our mentoring program through CCUSA in August of 2013.
It is a new service that we offer and we are amazed at the results we have seen with the youth that we
serve.
Our mentors and mentees come from various backgrounds. Our mentors range from working adults to
retirees to a farmer in his 80s who works everyday providing food for our community. Each of them
brings a variety of experiences to enrich their mentees lives! Our mentees range in age from 9 to 16.
Each of them has experienced obstacles in life that have brought them to our program and several of
them have encountered the legal system already in their young lives.
We have had two mentees who have made huge strides that have been noted and submitted to our
agency.
Our first mentee was 15 when he joined the program and was involved with law enforcement for a
number of minor charges. After being matched with his mentor, he has taken a positive turn with
improvements in school, the ability to hold down and maintain a job and has had no additional
encounters with law enforcement. He recently wrote a letter to his mentor regarding how much the
mentoring program has changed his life.
Our second mentee was 9 when he joined the program and had been involved with law enforcement
after witnessing his mother being arrested. His mentor (Denny) submitted the story which is attached
to this narrative.
Our mission at Catholic Charities of Tompkins/Tioga is as follows:
We support all people in need and advocate for social justice and human dignity in partnership with the
Diocese of Rochester and the greater community
Our vision statement is as follows:
A just and compassionate community rooted in love and the dignity of all people.
As I reflect on the mentoring program run through Catholic Charities of Tompkins/Tioga and our mission
& vision statements, I feel the program encompasses these statements with every interaction that
mentors and mentees have. Through building and recognizing assets within the youth we serve, we are
supporting them to become valued members of their community. We are treating them with respect
and love. Each outing they have with their mentor helps them gain self-confidence and awareness of
their role within the greater society. For many of them, they have never experienced many of the
activities provided through their mentor.
When I think of the many different aspects of the mentoring program, I feel that we are reducing
poverty in two ways. First, we are helping the families through case management efforts. We are
referring them to agencies and resources that can help them overcome their individual family situations.

Some examples are referrals to local food pantries, counseling services, family support groups, etc.
Second, I feel we are helping each individual youth overcome potential future obstacles by helping them
build skills that they will use in their adult life. As mentioned above, some of our youth have been able
to gain skills that have lead them to employment and community service.
Catholic Charities of Tompkins/Tioga is always looking for volunteers to assist in our food pantry and
clothing closets as well as volunteers to mentor youth within the community. Donations of clothing,
household items as well as monetary donations are always appreciated to help support our continued
efforts to help the people of Tompkins/Tioga counties.
To get involved with the Mentor Program Contact: Petrea Rae, Program Coordinator (607-414-1023,
prae@dor.org)
Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/CatholicCharitiesofTompkinsTioga?ref=hl