HannaPerlberger

CreatingRadiantRelationshipsandPositiveWellbeingFounderofMaketheBestofYou.com
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IsYourOptimismGroundedInReality?
Jan30,2015

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Amangetsintohiscar,anddecidesinthenameofoptimismthathewontbuckleup.Ishean
optimistorisheanidiot?Afterdeliveringalectureonoptimismtoalargetechcompany,ShawnAchor,
oneofthegurusofPositivePsychologywasbeingdriventotheairportbytheCEO.Ignoringthepersistent
andannoyingdingingofthealarmfornotusinghisseatbelt,theCEOsmiledatShawnandexplainedthat
hewasjustbeingoptimistic.
Optimismisgoodforalotofthings,thoughtShawn,butitwillnotpreventthisCEOfromgettingintoa
caraccident,norwillitpreventhimflyingthroughthewindshield.Thisisnotoptimism;rather,itsaform
ofinsanity,otherwiseknownasirrationaloptimism.
InthisweeksTorahportion,Beshalach,aftertheJewishpeopleleftEgypt,thePharaohsenthisarmyof
charioteersafterthemandnowtheywerecorneredbythearmywiththeirbackstothesea.Shortofanew
miracle,theJewishpeoplewerefacingimminentslaughter,andtheTorahrecordstheirbitter
remonstrationsagainstMosescryingthattheynevershouldhaveleftEgyptandthatitwouldhavebeen
bettertohaveremainedslavesinEgypt,thantodieinthewilderness.
Accordingtocommentary,atthatpoint,theJewishpeopleweredividedinto4separatecamps.Onegroup
wantedtosurrenderandgobacktoEgypt.Onegroupwasreadytocommitsuicide.Onegroupwantedto
fighttheEgyptianarmy(Iliketheirstylebutwhatweretheygoingtodothrowmatzosatthem?)And
anothergroupstartedtopray.MosescriedouttoGodandGodreplied(inessence)Stopprayingand
journeyforthDoSomething!ItwasatthatpointthatthefamousNachshonjumpedintotheseaand
whenthewaterreachedhisnostrils,theseabegantopart.Optimistorcrazy?Groundedorirrational?Lets
see

Inhisbook,LearnedOptimism,MartinSeligman,thefatherofPositivePsychologyexplainsthatthere
aretwowaysoflookingatlife,andhegivesanexample.Ayoungcouplehastheirfirstbaby.Thefather
looksatherinhercribwithaweandloveandhecallsouthername.Althoughthebabyisawake,she
doesntrespond.Thefatherpicksupatoywithabellandshakesit.Noresponse.Thefathersheartstartsto
beatrapidlyandhesummonshiswife.Themothertriestogetthebabysattentionwithloudsoundsstill
withoutaresponsebutwhenshepicksupthebaby,thebabyresponds.MyGod,shesdeaf,concludes
thefather.
Noshesnot.Shesanewborn.Hereyesdontevenfocusyet,saysthemother.Yeabutyouclapped
reallyloudlyandshedidntstartlewhereuponthemothersuggestedthattheyconsulttheirbabybookfor
advice,wheretheyreadhowthereisnoreasonforalarmifababyfailstoreacttoloudnoisessinceittakes
timeforthestartleandsoundreflextokickin.
Motherisreassured.Neverthelesssheleavesavoicemessagewiththepediatriciansofficetoschedulean
appointmentandshegoesaboutherweekendnormally.Dad,ontheotherhand,remainsaworriedmess,
ruminatingthathehasabadfeelingaboutthis.
OnMonday,thepediatricianadministersaneurologicalexamandfindsthebabyperfectlyhealthy.Father
doesnotbelievethetestresultsandremainsdepressedandworried.Aweeklater,whenthebabystartledat
thenoiseofabackfiringcar,thefatherbegantorecoverhisspiritsandwasabletoenjoyhisbabyonce
again.
Thesearethetwobasicoutlooksonlife:onepessimisticandoneoptimistic.Thepessimistawfulizes
events,viewsbadsituationsaslonglasting,ifnotpermanent,allowstheupsettopermeateallareasoflife,
andconsidersitsomehowhisorherfault(permanent,pervasiveandpersonal).
Theoptimist,ontheotherhand,seesdefeatasatemporarychallengetobesurmounted,confinesittothis
onesituation,andseesthecauseassomethingexternal(temporary,confined,external).Thesetwo
explanatoryoutlooksonlifeaffecthealth,relationships,qualityofworkandachievement,learning,and
manyotherthings,andanoptimismoutlooktendstoenhancelifeacrossallofitsdimensions.
However,aspectsofpessimismhavetheirrightfulplacetoo,especiallywherecriticalthinkingisnecessary
toavoidbadconsequences.Forinstance,employingoptimisminthefaceofmarryinganaddictindenial,
orbuyingahouseoverbudgetbankingonafutureraiseorbonuswouldbeaformofirrationaloptimism,
withpossibledisastrousconsequences.
ThepointisandIhavesaidthisrepeatedlythatthekeytoemotionalandmentalfreedomisknowing
whentobewhat.Weallhavecertainnaturesbydefault,whichwilldriveeitheroftheseexplanatory
styles.Thegoalistohaveflexibleoptimism,toknowthatyouhaveachoiceandtopickyourmost
valuablerealityandwhichmannerofthinkingwillserveyoubestunderthecircumstances.
Okay,nowitsalittlechutzpadich,butIthinkthereisathirdexplanatorystyle,whichIamcallingJewish
Optimism,andsinceImcoiningthephrase,Igettodefineit.JewishOptimismtakesthebestaspectsof
optimism,suchaslookingateventsintheirmostfavorablelightandrisingtothechallengewithanIcanor
anitcanbedoneattitude.Butwhenitcomestocausality,JewishOptimismwouldnotregardeventsas
externalandimpersonal.Justtheopposite,actually.InJewishOptimism,everythingisaboutmeformy
spiritualgrowth.Andthisbringsinthequalityoffaithfaiththattheuniverseisnotouttogetme,butto
teachme.AndthatultimatelyleadstohavingarealandpersonalrelationshipwithGod.
GettingbacktothesceneatthebanksoftheSeaofReeds,infacingPharaohsarmy,thepessimistswanted
tosurrenderorcommitsuicide.Onegroupofoptimistswantedtofight,butitwasirrationaltothinkthatan

unarmedanduntrainedgroupofmenwomenandchildrencoulddefeattheonslaughtofamightyavalanche
ofcharioteers.
KnowingthattheJewishpeoplewereliberatedthroughtheopenanddivineinterventionofGod,andnow
thatsameGodwastellingthemtogo,todosomething,Nachshon,theJewishoptimist,walkedcalmly
intothesea,andinsodoing,alsopavedthewayfortheJewishexpressionoffaith.AndthissetsJudaism
apartfromanyreligionthatisbasedjustonthought,beliefs,orsilentspirituality,becauseJudaismcallsfor
beliefdrivenbehavior,andtheexpressionoffaiththroughdeliberateaction.
Sothenexttimeyoufaceachallenge,determinewhethergroundedoptimismisappropriate,andifso,try
addingalittlefaith.Knowthatwhatevertestyouareundergoingisthetestyouwereabsolutelymeantto
have,thatyoucanpassit,andthatyouwillemergeemotionallystronger,intellectuallywiser,and
spirituallyhigher.BecomeaJewishoptimist,andthereisnotellinghowmanyseasyouwillbeabletopart
inyourlife.