"Remember Me As You Pass By"

Most people who are familiar with old American gravestones know the old verse,
Remember me as you pass by,
As you are now, so once was I,
As I am now, so you must be,
Prepare for death and follow me.
In my mind, I have always associated that verse with the oldest of New England gravestones
- the ones covered with imps and hourglasses and scythe-wielding skeletons. It just seems
like a Puritan-with-a-capital-P sort of sentiment. Douglas Keister, author of Stories in
Stone: A Field Guide to Cemetery Symbolism and Iconography, tells us that this verse,
"and its variants are the most common ones found on Colonial New England gravestones"
(132). Keister is not alone in this opinion.
Yet, I have not been able to find this verse on a 17th- or early-18th-century gravestone
anywhere in North America. The oldest American example I can find dates from 1772, but
the transcription makes it hard to tell whether the verse appears on a joint stone erected in
1780 or two side-by-side stones erected in 1772 and 1780. A variant lacking the "prepare for
death" line can be found on the Elisha Doane gravestone (1759) in Wellfleet, MA
(transcription here). The Benjamin Scudder stone in Westfield, New Jersey, sometimes
cited as an early example (1708), is actually from 1798 (see editor's note here and Benjamin
Scudder's death record here).
How old is the "remember me" verse really? And when/how did it come to America?
An 1850 edition of the New England Historical and Genealogical Register cites the
Canterbury tomb of Edward the Black Prince (1330-1376) as the source of the verse.
Edward's epitaph was originally written in Norman French, but was at some point
translated into English:
Whoso thou be that passeth by;
Where these corps entombed lie:
Understand what I shall say,
As at this time speak I may.
Such as thou art, sometime was I,
Such as I am, such shalt thou be.
Edward's epitaph, though it contains some of the sentiments found in the later poem, does
not exhort the visitor to, "prepare for death and follow me." Variations on the "remember
me" verse seem to have been known in 17th-century Scotland: I found one example of a
version fromPerthshire, Scotland in 1666:
As. ye. ar. nou
So. onc. vas. Ay
As. Ay. am. so. sal
Ye. be. Remembre
Man. that. thou
Mist. dei.
(transcription third-hand via Texas Graveyards)
I've been puttering around on the internet for days now, and, from what I can tell, that
macabre little rhyme was not known in American mortuary culture before 1750. Preliminary
research indicates that it became popular in the 1780-1830 period and was used throughout

the 19th and into the 20th century. The Federal Writer's project found the verse used in
Indiana between 1856 and 1914.

A sample of gravestones with the "remember me" verse:

Jemima Killiam, Enfield, CT, 1780

Hannah Cole, Lovettsville, VA, 1788

Betty Gannett, Bridgewater, MA, 1803

Cornelia Beardsley, Stratford, CT, 1818

unnamed, Julian Creek, TX, 1863

Mary Leyde, Eighty-Four, PA, 1888

John Corley, Alabama, 1913

Does anyone have an example of a pre-1750 version of this poem in America? I'm not asking
that snarkily - I am really interested in finding the earliest possible examples and will keep
looking. At the moment, I am leaning toward thinking that this verse is NOT a PuritanAmerican favorite, but rather a gothic/medieval revival favorite.
Posted by Caitlin GD Hopkins at 12:55 PM
Labels: epitaph, gravestones, myth-making

40 comments:
Anna said...
(Delurking to say:) Hmm. I am positive I can find one, but don't have any in my
computerized records. I have a handful of 1760s examples in Amherst, NH, where the
graves don't date back much further.
If it weren't snow/raining for the next week, I would get myself to Old Burial Ground or
the Granary right away! Interesting. The challenge is on.
February 24, 2010 at 5:57 PM

Bob said...
I've never found the origin of that particular verse either, though I did do a casual search
at one point. I'd bet a dollar it derives ultimately from a Greek or Roman source. It's an
example of the "contrastive theme" that Lattimore describes in his 1962 study of ancient
epitaphs ("I used to be great, now I'm small..."; Ozymandias is a modern rendering),
although our particular formula doesn't appear among his examples.
In my irregular notes I find four pre-Revolutionary examples:
West Springfield, 1758 (fide Bridgman, 1850)
South Hadley, 1767, 1775 (fide Lie, 1976)

Dunstable 1774 (fide Nason, 1877)

Dedham, 1773 (fide Slafter, 1888)
It's also the case that verses in general don't become common on New England stones
until into the 1700s. There certainly are many early examples, but I think the percentage
of 17th century stones with verses is relatively small in comparison with, say, stones from
the late 1700s. But I think your sense that this verse isn't especially "Puritan" is probably
correct, in the same way that many things people popularly call "Puritan" today are really
Victorian.
RJO
February 24, 2010 at 8:43 PM

Bob said...
This contains a reported example from 1732 in Orange, NJ:
http://www.archive.org/stream/narrativesofnewa01pier/narrativesofnewa01pier_djvu.t
xt
(search the page for "follow me")
RJO
February 24, 2010 at 11:53 PM

Caitlin GD Hopkins said...

It's so nice to have informed, helpful commenters!
You're definitely right that the 17th-century stones have very few verses. That's what I
was looking into when I came across this unexpected evidence I was trying to see if
there is any correspondence between what is written on gravestones and what is written
in printed elegies (answer: rarely).
I'm still working on this, but it looks like most of the non-vital inscriptions are one-liners
like "The memory of the just is blessed" or "fugit hora." There are a few longer verses
(like the Ovid), but not many.
Thanks for the New Jersey reference. I looked up Matthew Williams (b. 1656, d. 1732)

he was born in Wethersfield, CT. Perhaps he's our first real pre-Great Awakening Puritan
to use this verse. Though, he did leave CT and his name is Matthew, which is incredibly
unusual for a Puritan, so maybe not. More digging required.
February 25, 2010 at 9:21 AM

Charles Bahne said...

There are at least a couple of examples at Copps Hill in Boston. In my book "The
Complete Guide to Boston's Freedom Trail" I quote from the stone for Thomas Williston,
"who exchanged this Life for a better" in 1775, age 75: "Stop here my friend &cast an
Eye, As you are now, so once was I, As I am now, so you must be, Prepare for Death, and
follow Me." Sorry, I don't know the dates or names of the other examples.
February 25, 2010 at 10:03 PM

Bob said...
A 1764 example from Harvard:
http://books.google.com/books?
id=CpQvAAAAYAAJ&pg=PA487&img=1&zoom=3&hl=en&sig=ACfU3U3e5VbEvj2hw8_7tHpU_fCVxv5hg&ci=36%2C1288%2C841%2C120&edge=0
RJO
February 26, 2010 at 12:31 AM

Lori Stokes said...

I'll jump in vaguely to say I'm pretty sure there are examples at the OBG in Arlington. I'll
look through my records.
February 26, 2010 at 8:09 AM

Bob said...
Here's a reported variant from Scotland in 1638:
http://books.google.com/books?
id=_KQHAAAAQAAJ&pg=PA79&img=1&zoom=3&hl=en&sig=ACfU3U0UggKfm-

B3r9vkWy0JdFh2OpzIQA&ci=85%2C120%2C897%2C412&edge=0
A reported variant from Shropshire in 1580 (search the page for "so once was I"):
http://www.archive.org/stream/notesqueries10londuoft/notesqueries10londuoft_djvu.t
xt
And here is an apparently early variant that is said to have been inscribed at the entrance
of a burying ground in Edinburgh, although the date is not clear:
http://books.google.com/books?id=haQAAAAYAAJ&pg=PA191&img=1&zoom=3&hl=en&sig=ACfU3U0MMIEwD176op__vqu2a
MVbRiP7ew&ci=110%2C192%2C682%2C215&edge=0

RJO
February 28, 2010 at 8:17 PM

Heather Rojo said...

a video of Londonderry, NH, with a walk through the 1793 Valley Cemetery- the narrator
stops to read one of the stones which is the verse you are looking for
http://www.archive.org/details/AlBrennerLTownltownaviavi
March 18, 2010 at 7:05 PM

Jim Blachowicz said...

See the stone for Capt. John Fisher (1736) in Needham cemetery on "Find-a-grave" at
http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=pv&GRid=27611695&PIpi=11321624
It's apparent the stone is as old as its date. It's the earliest I've seen.
April 5, 2010 at 7:39 PM

gallimaufry said...
Great information Thanks for researching and sharing this!
The inscription on the gravestone of my 7G grandfather has the "prepare for death and

follow me" line and is a little earlier than the 1772 or later inscription you cited:
The inscription on his gravestone reads:
Ensign
Matthew
Noble
Was born
Sept. 9, 1698
& died
Aug. 8, 1771.
Remember me
as you Pass by,
as you are now
So once was I;
as I am Now
So you must be,
Prepare for death
& follow me.
I haven't yet had the chance to see this stone myself; my information comes from:
Boltwood, Lucius M. (1878) History and genealogy of the family of Thomas Noble of
Westfield, Massachusetts: with genealogical notes of other families by the name of Noble.
Hartford, CT: Press of the Case, Lockwood & Brainard Company. 870 pp.
January 2, 2011 at 2:21 AM

e782e4ea-37b1-11e0-9931-000bcdca4d7a said...
Not sure but I believe this is on the stone of a grave at the Phipps Street Burial Grounds
in Charelstown, MA as well.
February 22, 2011 at 9:23 AM

Lisa McKenna said...

I have the tombstone rubbing, which I acquired in 1975, from the artist who did the
rubbing. This tombstone is from the Granary Burial Ground and is no longer intact with
the words. They have now put another tombstone in with just his name and date of
death. The tombstone reads (or used to):

Here lies Buried

the body of
Cap. John Decoster
who died Jany 28th
1773. Aged 26. years
Stop here my Friend & Cast an Eye
as you are now so Once was I
as I am now so you must be
Prepare for Death & Follow me.
I have tried to write as it was written. Very interesting topic.
March 7, 2011 at 10:21 PM

Anonymous said...
I'm a funeral director in the UK and this 'ditty' has been around for a few years now and
surfaces once in a while. Told to me years ago as a 'joke' there was a retort with reference
to heaven or hell:
Remember friend when passing by,
As you are now, so once was I.
As I am now so you shall be,
So be prepared to follow me!
Retort:
To follow you Im not content,
Until I know which way you went!
Terry Shoobridge
March 11, 2011 at 7:47 PM

Heather Rojo said...

posted one yesterday at this link, but its from 1785.
http://nutfieldgenealogy.blogspot.com/2011/03/michael-stratford-dealtontombstone.html
March 15, 2011 at 5:34 PM

kathiryn said...
I can attest there is a gravestone located in Hudsonville, Michigan, with the inscription
similar to the Gallimaufry inscription. I believe the gravestone was dated with a mid
1700's death. It left an indeliable impression on me as I stumbled upon it while at a party
in high school in the dark woods of a classmate. Eerie! The poem has never left my
memory.
March 27, 2011 at 9:27 PM

GavinCDC said...
Message to Bob
RJO February 24, 2010 8:43 PM
I have always believed this originally came from A P Herbert, a well known English
humorist, novelist and playwright. As far as I have managed to research on the internet, I
cannot find any further reference to support this. It might however give you something to
go on.
Gavin CDC
May 1, 2011 at 6:21 PM

Trish said...
I first heard of the verse while a senior in high school (1956). Loved it then, when read by
my English teacher, Mrs McMartin, as I do now. The retort concerning which way you
went is as precious.
Intend to use it some day on the stones of my husband and I and hope it remains in the
hearts of all my family.
July 25, 2011 at 12:53 PM

MsGenealogist said...
I have a copy of Stones, the Betty Willsher and Doreen Hunter book quoted on the Texas
Graveyards page you link to above. Just thought you might like futher details, as the TG
authors have excerpted only a portion of the 1666 Perthshire epitaph (it's from a slab at
Logierait):
COME.AL.AND.SE

AS.YOU.GO.BY.EN
HONRED.CORPS
HIR.NOU.DO.LY
AS.YE.AR.NOU
SO.ONC.VAS.AY
AS.AY.AM.SO.SAL
YE.BE.REMEMBRE
MAN.THAT.THOV.
MOST.DEI.
Willsher and Hunter present it as above in full caps, and with that slight spelling change
in the final line. Just FWIW. It's a great book.
August 25, 2011 at 6:03 AM

Corrina said...
There is the same epitath on a headstone in Towanda, Kansas. Although I moved from
there many years ago, that hauntingly beautiful memorial has always stuck with me.
January 28, 2012 at 8:20 AM

Anonymous said...
There will be another stone with this inscription in Stone Church Cemetery, Ringgold,
Ga. around May 2012. I just purchased it for myself and added this verse on the back of
the stone. I got it from a stone in an old North Georgia cemetery several years ago.
Passers by may not know or remember my name, but they will remember the verse;
hopefully they will take it to heart.
February 19, 2012 at 8:52 AM

Michael Cifello said...

I found one in Plympton MA off of Rt 58, near the town common I did an etching of it
when I was in High School 1975, its probably in the 1800's maybe earlier, I'll have to stop
by and find it to get a better date..and name..2/28/2012
M. Cifello
February 28, 2012 at 3:48 PM

Anonymous said...
So glad to find this article! My family grave yard in Van Texas has a tombstone from the
mid 1800s this epitaph. I have told my family that this what I want hopefully not for a
long time! Thanks for all the stories!
Valicia VanHoose
April 4, 2012 at 11:51 AM

Anonymous said...
So glad to find this article! My family grave yard in Van Texas has a tombstone from the
mid 1800s this epitaph. I have told my family that this what I want hopefully not for a
long time! Thanks for all the stories!
Valicia VanHoose
April 4, 2012 at 11:54 AM

clickityclunk said...
This verse has been bothering me for a while also, I remember going to a cemetery in
monroe maryland of a girl that had passed away. I don't remember much about it except
that it had an image of her painted on a piece of ivory imbedded in the headstone. It read
"Hattie" or "hitty"
April 14, 2012 at 10:15 PM

Anonymous said...
I read this "poem" when a cousin and I found it on a stone in an old grave yard in
Buffalo, WV. It is across a creek from the town park there. We were uncovering stones
and found this one under a few inches of dirt. It had a hand and a rose engraved with the
poem and no name. Black slate or marble was what the stone was carved from. I have
been haunted by these words since because our good friend died the day we found this
stone. Remember youth as you pass by, as you are now, so once was I. As I am now, and
you must be, prepare for death and follow me.......Chris 785-829-0079
June 28, 2012 at 3:28 AM

Anonymous said...
I read this "poem" when a cousin and I found it on a stone in an old grave yard in
Buffalo, WV. It is across a creek from the town park there. We were uncovering stones
and found this one under a few inches of dirt. It had a hand and a rose engraved with the
poem and no name. Black slate or marble was what the stone was carved from. I have
been haunted by these words since because our good friend died the day we found this
stone. Remember youth as you pass by, as you are now, so once was I. As I am now, and
you must be, prepare for death and follow me.......Chris 785-829-0079
June 28, 2012 at 3:28 AM

Paul said...
Clearly very late to the party, but as a long-time lurker I wanted to bring to your attention
a purported 1725 William Dare stone in Newfoundland containing the verse, as reported
here:
http://www.stonepics.com/newfoundland_cemeteries/oldstone.htm
The claimed inscription is
"Here lieth the body of William DARE who departed this life August the 23, in 1725 &
aged about 45 years. As I am now so must you be; Therefore prepare to follow me; As you
are now, so once was I; Therefore prepare yourself to die."
August 17, 2012 at 7:34 AM

burnley blogs said...

recently cleaned monument in Bowmanton Pioneer Cemetery, Alnwick/Haldimand twsp.
Ontario, Canada
Philemon Ferguson
died dec 25, 1855 age 81
My glass is run, my grave you see.
Prepare in time to follow me.
So friends go home, shed no more tears.
For here I lie till Christ appears.
September 16, 2012 at 3:07 PM

Natalie said...
I saw this exact poem today on a gravestone in Nisky HIll Cemetery in Bethlehem, Pa.
The 22 year old man was named Frank, and I believe his date of death was 1865. This
cemetery has eighteenth century graves as well. I will keep an eye out for this poem on
older gravestones.
October 21, 2012 at 7:26 PM

Anonymous said...
This was the name of a chapter in one of my father's books, he also studied head stones. I
never knew where it came from but much to my delight while visiting Our Lady of the
Conception of the Capuchins in Rome I saw this on a plaque in among the bones. This
crypt was built in about 1660, I don't recall the wording, clearly it was not in english, but
it was as close as can be wile still being another language. I have been curious since
seeing this to know where it originated and if we will ever know.
February 9, 2013 at 12:08 AM

Llucchin said...
I am in Art History class and this "Remember Me As You Pass By" is MUCH MUCH older
than you think. It is a very ancient Latin Phrase and it became very popular to carve the
saying in gravestones during the 14th and 15th century. You can see one example of this
in the art fresco "The Holy Trinity" by Masaccio in Italy 1425. Here it is in Latin: Quod tu
es, ego fui, quod ego sum (What you are, I once was; what I am now, you will be.) I got
more info if anyone needs it. -JJ
February 19, 2013 at 11:44 PM

Anonymous said...
http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?
page=gr&GSln=grubb&GSfn=john&GSbyrel=all&GSdyrel=all&GSst=37&GScnty=2076&
GScntry=4&GSob=n&GRid=40301507&df=all&
March 25, 2013 at 7:23 AM

Xandra Graham said...

Wow! It truly is amazing how fantastic the Internet has become for nostalgia and
reminiscing about things of the past. I just had a conversation with a few people at work
about local urban legends and I told the story of the Witch's Ball at Myrtle Hill Cemetery
in Valley City, OH (do a google search for it).
I also told them of a gravestone epitaph me and a buddy of mine discovered while
investigating the urban legend as teens. The epitaph reads (preserving the accuracy of
the gravestone with punctuation, capitalization, and layout):
In memory of,
Weed Ford, son of
Paul & Mary Ford,
he died Sept., 23d,
1821. In the 20th year
of his age.
Stop traveller, stop as you pass by,
As you are now, so once was I,
As I am now, soon you must be,
Prepare for Death, and follow me.
I have a great photo of this gravestone which I will post a link to soon.
As you might imagine, my fellow co-workers were a little freaked out. This prompted me
to do a search on the Internet for the origin of this poem.
It is obvious this poem has haunted me and stuck with me all these years. I would like to
do further research at the Historical Society about this family because of the interesting
given name and epitaph. I will post back if I find anything of interest. Good luck in your
research!
April 4, 2013 at 1:16 PM

Xandra Graham said...

Here's the the link to my previous post:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/94654873@N07/8618962461/
April 4, 2013 at 2:02 PM

Victoria Livo said...

I too have read the same poem but here in Australia! In the whroo cemetery near the
small town of Rushworth in the state of Victoria, there is a tiny cemetery with graves
from the 1800+ One large tomb stone has the following:
Remember me as you pass by,
As you are now, So once was I.
As I am now, So you must be,
Prepare yourself to follow me.
It's haunting and true and it made an impression I've never forgotten it.
April 22, 2013 at 7:25 AM

Caitlin GD Hopkins said...

"I am in Art History class and this "Remember Me As You Pass By" is MUCH MUCH
older than you think."
Right, but the question here is whether it was actually used in 17th-century New England.
In the gravestone literature, this poem is often cited as a "common" or even "the most
common" epitaph used by the New England Puritans. It sounds so nice and grimly
Puritan-ish, after all. But, in fact, it is vanishingly rare in America before the 1750s, well
after the peak of the Puritan movement. It seems to be connected to a medieval revival
rather than to Puritans, but our stereotypes about Puritans have distorted the actual
chronology of its use.
April 22, 2013 at 9:51 AM

halfdreaming said...
Nothing new to add really, my example is from the early 1800s, I believe. My father is big
into genealogy so on any family vacation there is inevitably at least one cemetery stop,
frequently at some very small, sketchy looking graveyards (breaking in or hopping the
fence is not unusual, much to my mother's chagrin).
This particular cemetery visit took place when I was 8 or 9. It was an old church yard,
still with a church attached, although I doubt it was still functioning as a church. I believe
it was Methodist, white frame church, somewhere in either Appalachia or SW Missouri.
As far as I can remember it was in Tenn. or NC, but it's been many years, an a lot of
graveyards.
The stone would have been from the 19th century, not sure of anything more detailed

than that, but the end of the verse was a bit different:
Remember Man as You Pass By
As you are Now, so Once was I
As I am Now, so you Soon will Be
Together in Eternity
I'm not positive about the last line- I memorized the poem on the spot and it's been many
years since then- it might have been "Equals in Eternity", or possible "Partners in
Eternity". Similar sentiment either way. There was another grave in the same cemetery
with a partially eroded verse about equality, so I may be getting the two mixed up.
Interesting either way- it's stuck with me obviously.
I do think the variation is intriguing- it has a slightly different connotation than the
(apparently) more common "prepare for death and follow me", although the gist of the
line is similar.
Thanks for the interesting post!
May 18, 2013 at 12:20 PM

halfdreaming said...
My father is really into genealogy, so any family road trip has usually been accompanied
by at least one side trip to find "old dead relatives" (breaking into cemeteries or hopping
fences is not unusual, much to my mother's chagrin).
One of the graveyards we visited when I was 8 or 9 had a stone with a variation of this
inscription. The graveyard was somewhere in Appalachia, I believe in NC or Tenn. Maybe
Missouri, but I think NC is the most likely. I memorized the stone on the spot, but it's
been a long time since then, so my memory for the last line might be off.
Remember Man as you pass by,
As you are now, so once was I
As I am now, so you soon will be
Together in Eternity
The last line may have been "Equals in Eternity" or "Partners in Eternity" and I think it
was probably "soon shall be", not 'will be'. Either way, the sentiment is about the same. I
know there was another grave in the same cemetery that had a partially eroded
inscription about equality, so I may be confusing the two.
I thought this variation was interesting because it has a different connotation than the
(apparently) more common "prepare for death..." line, although the basic gist is similar.
Perhaps whomever purchased the grave stone found the original last line a bit creepy?
Who knows.

Obviously the poem has stuck with me for many years, so I was interested to see your
post. Thanks for the info!
May 18, 2013 at 12:32 PM

Anonymous said...
To follow you I'm not content
Until I know which way you went
May 19, 2013 at 8:10 PM
Post a Comment