Out of Bounds Screenplay

Out of Bounds
Episode #1: The Drug Test
Original Screenplay written by Jason Wiese
jasonwiese77@gmail.com
Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese
FADE IN
EXT. FOOTBALL PRACTICE FIELD - DAY
The Texas Bulls, a professional football team in the United
Football League (UFL), are in the middle of a high
intensity practice with PLAYERS, who are predominately
black, running play after play hitting each other hard
while their COACHES run up and down the field hollering
indiscriminately at them.
After one particular running play where the back gets
stuffed for no gain, DERRICK WILLIAMS, a huge defensive
lineman, gets fed up with the blocking techniques of SCOTT
MCDERMOTT, a similarly large offensive linemen, and pushes
him after the play has been called dead.
Scott takes offense to the extracurricular activity and
pushes back. Derrick in turn punches Scotts helmet and
they get into a scrap which pushes them both out of bounds
and onto the sidelines.
DERRICK WILLIAMS
Fuck you motherfucker!
SCOTT MCDERMOTT
You fuck you! Go fuck yourself asshole!
DERRICK WILLIAMS
Boy, Im going to make you my fucking
bitch!
SCOTT MCDERMOTT
Looks like Ive already been doing that
to you.
DERRICK WILLIAMS
Oh yeah?
SCOTT MCDERMOTT
Yeah! All day long! All motherfucking
day long!
DERRICK WILLIAMS
Bitch the only way you can stop me is to
hold.
SCOTT MCDERMOTT
The only thing Im holding is my dick in
your moms mouth!
Derrick stops fighting on the sidelines for a second to
process what Scott just said.
DERRICK WILLIAMS
Did you just say something about my mamma?
SCOTT MCDERMOTT
I wouldve said something about your dad
too but Im sure you wouldnt care since
youve never even met him.
DERRICK WILLAMS
Motherfucker!
Derrick tackles Scott to the ground and starts grappling
with him as the rest of the team finally rushes over and
intervene.
Another large defensive lineman, DARRYL REED, pulls Derrick
off of Scott while another large offensive lineman, DANIEL
NIELSEN, pulls Scott up and holds him back.
DARRYL REED
Chill out guys, chill out!
SCOTT MCDERMOTT
(to Derrick)
Come on asshole, you want more of this!
DANIEL NIELSEN
Calm down Scotty.
SCOTT MCDERMOTT
Danny, let me go! I want another piece
of this chump.
DANIEL NIELSEN
Thats enough fighting for today.
DERRICK WILLIAMS
You better hold him back Danny, I have a
whole nother can of whoop ass that I
havent even opened yet and its got
McDermotts name written all over it.

COACH BEAU BO HARPER, the hard-nosed, strict
disciplinarian head coach in his early-sixties, comes
running over to the fracas yelling and screaming.
COACH HARPER
What the hell is wrong with you animals!?!
Love the intensity but you boys are fucking
nuts.
SCOTT MCDERMOTT
But coach
COACH HARPER
(interrupts)
No but coach anything. This is bullshit
and unacceptable behavior. We have to
be a team, a family. Sure families have
fights, but they dont try to rip each
others heads off and kill them.
The players know best to just stand their quietly and take
their penalty.
COACH HARPER (contd)
Now I want both of you assholes to run
the perimeter of the field until I tell
you to stopand boy Im beginning to
forget a lot of shit in my old age.
So you better hope and pray I remember
about your sorry asses or youll be
running until next week. You got that?
DERRICK & SCOTT
Yes coach.
COACH HARPER
Good, go on, get going.
The two players begin to run away from the group and around
the perimeter of the field.
COACH HARPER
(yells)
And you boys will shake each others
hands and apologize when youre done!
In stark contrast to the brawl that just happened on the
field, BOBBY CRENSHAW, the tall, very white, hotshot rookie
kicker from Texas, is standing with CODY HAMILTON, the

teams backup kicker who is also very white, on the other
side of the field in relative peace and tranquility.
Its such a juxtaposition that these two areas exist at the
same football practice.
Padless and helmetless, Bobby and Cody are on the twenty
yard line facing the goal post with no one even close to
them. They are in the middle of a relaxing conversation
about a trivial topic.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
You know what comes out incredible in my
crockpot?
CODY HAMILTON
No, what?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Pulled pork.
CODY HAMILTON
No way, for real?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Absolutely. Ill tell you what, Id put
my pulled pork up against any of those
authentic BBQ joints in the Carolinas.
Thats how good my shit is.
CODY HAMILTON
I thought big ole Texans like you were
all about beef brisket?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Dont get me wrong, I love me some beef
brisket, but my pulled pork is the bomb.
Heres the thing, I like diversity, Im
a foodie. Thats what makes me so
epicurious in life.
CODY HAMILTON
I gotta say, Ive never tried pulled pork
in my crockpot.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
What the hell do you make then?

CODY HAMILTON
Mostly stews, beef stew, and my six-alarm
chili.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
You do make some good chili.
Thanks.
CODY HAMILTON
I do pot roast sometimes too.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Im telling you, try pulled pork.
mad awesome.
Its
CODY HAMILTON
I will. I will.
Bobby looks down to the other side of the field and sees
how intense the rest of the team is practicing with the
linemen fighting each other and everyone hustling around.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Look at them down there.
CODY HAMILTON
Looks pretty intense. You think we
should take a couple practice kicks to
keep up appearances?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
(aggravated)
Yeah, I guess so. You want to hold for
me?
Cody gets down on one knee at the twenty yard line and
places the ball for Bobby to kick.
He nails it straight down the middle splitting the
uprights.
CODY HAMILTON
Perfect.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Not exactly, the wind took it a little
bit. I was about four inches off center.
CODY HAMILTON
Get out of here, how can you tell that?

BOBBY CRENSHAW
Because Im a sensation. Here, set me
up again. Ill adjust for the wind this
time.
Cody once again places the ball down for Bobby to kick.
He nails it straight down the middle splitting the
uprights; an exact carbon copy of his first kick.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
There, now that one was perfect.
CODY HAMILTON
Looked exactly like the first kick to me.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
And thats why youre a backup kicker.
Ouch.
CODY HAMILTON
Low blow.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Sorry, no offense.
CODY HAMILTON
None taken, I guess. You want to go again?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Nah, Im good.
CODY HAMILTON
You think I should get some kicks in?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Why? Whats the point, Im never getting
injured.
CODY HAMILTON
Yeah, but you never know.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Jeez, Cody you work too hard.
were just kickers, were not
manatees over here. Like, no
is there an easier job in the
a backup kicker? Youre like
long snapper and as useful as
a chick.
Relax,
saving the
offense,
world than
a fucking
a dick on

CODY HAMILTON
But I do only make league minimum.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Yeah, sucks to make $400K for standing on
your dick all day.
CODY HAMILTON
But what if you do get injured though?
Theyll need me then.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Are you kidding? I might hold out one
day, but an injury? No way. Look at me!
Im a finely crafted specimen with only
18% body fat.
CODY HAMILTON
Is that good?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
I have no fucking clue.
After seeing the two kickers just lollygagging around,
COACH GREG HARVEY, the young-looking, energetic special
teams coach whos in his late-thirties, comes running all
the way down the field towards them shouting.
COACH HARVEY
What the hell are you guys doing?
a god damn siesta!?!
Having
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Were kicking, coach.
COACH HARVEY
Well that usually involves a foot connecting
with a ball and sending said ball between
a goal post at the end of the field.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
I understand the physics behind my job.
COACH HARVEY
So do it!
BOBBY CRENSHAW
You actually just missed me kick two
field goals. They both went through.

COACH HARVEY
Get one thing straight rookie, I dont
care that youre a first round, hotshot
kicker, in my world youre still dogshit.
You know why that is? Because youre a
fucking kicker. Youre lucky we let you
fly on the team plane to away games.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Yes Coach Harvey.
COACH HARVEY
Good, Ill be keeping an eye on you
boys from down the field. Im busy
coaching guys that actually want to
play the game.
Coach Harvey turns and runs back to the other side of the
field shouting at players in the distance about their
technique.
CODY HAMILTON
See even our own special teams coach
doesnt give a shit about us.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Its not necessarily a bad thing though.
He does leave us alone for the most part.
But dont worry, hell be singing a
different tune when I win him a few games
singlehandedly with my golden leg.
CODY HAMILTON
Should we go back to kicking?
Bobby looks to the sidelines and sees Derrick and Scott
huffing and puffing their way around the perimeter of the
field, theyre really struggling and can barely run.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Yeah, I dont want to end up running
the field like Derrick and Scotty.
Cody once again gets down on one knee and places the ball
for Bobby to kick.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Yo, fifty dollars says I can make this
blindfolded.
10
CODY HAMILTON
Go for it.
Bobby reaches down and grabs a towel from the ground then
holds it to his face as he kicks a perfect ball down the
middle, splitting the uprights once again.
Perfect!
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Now give me my money.
CODY HAMILTON
(confused)
Bobby, do you think I carry around cash
on the field? During practice?
Bobby reaches into his jockstrap and pulls out a $100 bill.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
I always keep a hundred on me.
Always.
CODY HAMILTON
You do?
Why?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
You never know who you might have to
grease.
CODY HAMILTON
On a football field?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Yeah.
CODY HAMILTON
Interesting. Can I have a turn now?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
No.
Bobby points to the ground to have Cody place another ball.
Once he does, Bobby kicks it straight through the uprights
again.
INT. PHOTOGRAPHY STUDIO IN SOHO, MANHATTAN
In a loft overlooking downtown Manhattan, Bobby is sitting
on a photo set across from LISA BROOKS, a young, attractive
reporter from ESPN the Magazine, who is interviewing him.
11
PHOTOGRAPHERS, CAMERAMEN and other ASSORTED STAFFERS along

with several of BOBBYS FRIENDS loiter around the room
watching the interview.
LISA BROOKS
Bobby, thanks for taking the time to sit
down with me today.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
No problem Lisa, thank you for having me.
LISA BROOKS
So, first round draft pick, signed a huge
contract right out of college. One of
the largest contracts ever signed by a
kicker. First time a professional kicker
has ever been on the cover of ESPN the
magazine. Hometown hero whos high school
team won two state championships, a guy
who decided to stay home for college and
go to the University of Austin, won a
national championship there, then got
drafted by the hometown pro team in Austin,
the Texas Bulls, who are in search of their
first championship ever. This all must
create a lot of pressure for a young guy
like yourself.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Not really. I dont think much about it,
maybe Im too stupid to think about it,
but I just go out there and kick. I zone
everything else out and just focus on my
job. And I have a couple jobs on the
field, dont forget Im a dual threat
out there, I kick and punt. How many
assholes can say that? Im a very
versatile athlete and Im proud of that.
LISA BROOKS
You are a special player and youve been
doing pretty good so far this season.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
I think so, but theres always room for
improvement.

LISA BROOKS
Hard to improve on 14 out of 15 field
goals made at the halfway mark of the
season, three of which from 50+ yards.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Yeah, I shouldve made that fifteenth
field goal though. The wind was a little
tough that day, I shouldve adjusted
better.
LISA BROOKS
Well you do have the highest field goal
percentage in the league.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Doesnt matter, I want to be perfect.
LISA BROOKS
Is that what you strive for?
Perfection?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Well yeah. Whenever I miss a field goal
I feel like Ive let my teammates down.
I dont like that feeling.
LISA BROOKS
Thats nice that you care so much about
your teammates.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Sure do, I love those crazy boys.
LISA BROOKS
Tell me about your relations with your
teammates. I mean, you are a kicker so
by design youre usually separated from
most of them during practice and for a
lot of the game.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Oh, Im crazy cool with my teammates.
I like to think of myself as very social
so, yeah, while I might be isolated on
the other side of the field practicing
kicking, Im yukking it up with those
guys during downtimes and on the sidelines. I play with a bunch of great
guys.
12

LISA BROOKS
Do they ever give you some good ribbing
for being a rookie?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Of course, but thats just rookie life.
LISA BROOKS
Do you think they take it harder on you
since you were a first rounder? And a
kicker at that?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Sure I get ridiculed for being a kicker
but at least I dont have to worry about
CTE since I dont get hit. I hit. In
fact, I get hit more in the head from bar
fights than I do on the field. Sure Im
getting hazed right now, but who do you
think will be laughing 30 years from now?
The guy not drooling and shitting in his
pants. That guy is me.
LISA BROOKS
Interesting. So tell me more about these
bar fights that you get into?
Bobby gets visibly excited to talk about his fighting
history and is proud to reveal his scars.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
(giddily)
Oh check this out!
He pushes back his hair to show a tiny scar on his
forehead.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
You see this? I got this one back in
college when someone cracked me over the
head with a pool cue.
Next he rolls up his sleeve to reveal a scar on his bicep.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Here, and see this one? This one has
never properly healed, feel it.
13
14
Bobby playfully grabs Lisas hand and rubs her finger

across his scar.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
See? This one happened back home in
Texas when I took a beer bottle to the
arm.
He looks over to his two buddies ASHTON and GRANT and
his older brother, CONNOR, who were all his high school
football teammates and are a bit bulkier than Bobby but all
have a similar personality to him.
BOBBY CRENSHAW (contd)
Aint that right boys? This one was a
bleeder, but Lisa, you should see what
the other guy looked like.
LISA BROOKS
Why do you get into bar fights?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
I dont know, I guess trouble just follows
me sometimes.
LISA BROOKS
Do you think it might be because you just
havent matured yet? Maybe?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Yo, Im mad mature.
LISA BROOKS
Well some would say that you might not be
as mature as you could be and that was
the one major knock on you coming out of
college. Critics like to specifically
point out your extracurricular antics.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Wait, I have critics?
LISA BROOKS
Yes, and some of them have taken exception
to some of your activities. Your college
newspaper once referred to you as their
chain smoking, heavy beer drinking,
pill popping All-American kicker.

BOBBY CRENSHAW
Well that was an opinion piece. And
that kids opinion meant dick to me.
LISA BROOKS
Whys that?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
He was a dweeb. Im sure he tried to
get into one of our legendary football
parties back in the day and was denied
entry.
LISA BROOKS
Lets discuss this for a little bit.
Are you a chain smoker?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
I only smoke when I drink.
LISA BROOKS
And how often do you drink?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
All the time.
LISA BROOKS
So would you consider yourself a heavy
drinker?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
No, not at all.
LISA BROOKS
You dont consider yourself a heavy
drinker even though you drink every day?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
I drink water every day but I dont
consider myself addicted to water.
See my point?
LISA BROOKS
Not exactly, I mean its not really the
same thing.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Isnt it though? Isnt it?
(MORE)
Hey, do I
15

party with my friends Jack, Jim, Johnnie,
Evan and Jose a lot? Yes I do, Im not
going to lie, but Ive got it all under
control. Its cool.
LISA BROOKS
What about the reports that you were
once caught with the popular drug,
molly, at an off-campus party?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Meh, stuff happensand since I was
never charged with anything its
actually like it never even happened.
LISA BROOKS
What do you mean, stuff happens?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Look, Im just a guy that likes to have
fun. At the end of the day, Im a grown
adult getting paid a lot to play a game,
a game where my role is to kick a ball.
Thats it, just kick a damn ball. Its
not rocket scienctry. Im not curing
ALS, so thats why I rage so much.
And sometimes when you rage as much as
I do, you get into some shit. It
happens. But my boys got my back.
Bobbys buddies shout out in approval.
LISA BROOKS
OK, well at least you seem like a very
self-aware individual.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Im always aware of myself.
LISA BROOKS
So have you seen your cover photo yet?
The one that we shot at the San Diego
Zoo last month?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
No maam.
16
17
LISA BROOKS
Well lets show it to you.
(calls out to an assistant)
Amy can you bring out the cover?
AMY, a very attractive, young assistant in her earlytwenties, walks over carrying a huge blow-up of the ESPN
cover photo.
It features a close up picture of a shirtless Bobby wearing
a cowboy hat and holding a leash attached to a lion.
The main headline says Bobby Crazy Leg Crenshaw - He
puts the FOOT in football.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
(laughs)
Awww man, thats awesome.
Bobby giddily calls out to his buddies who are hanging out
just off of the set.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Hey guys, guys, you have to check this
out! Im hanging out with a damn lion!
ASHTON
Man, thats crazy!
GRANT
Nice tits.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Hey, hey, hey. Be a little respectful,
shes sitting right here in front of
us. At least wait until were out of
the building to mention her features.
Lisa sits there shaking her head with an embarrassing smirk
across her face.
GRANT
Im talking about your tits asshole.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Those arent tits dickhead, thats a
man chest.

CONNOR
I dont know, looks like tits to me.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Fuck you all.
(looks at Lisa)
Im sorry Miss Brooks, my friends are
retards, especially my brother Connor,
hes the biggest retard. High school
friends and relatives, so you know how
that works, Im stuck with these idiots
for the rest of my life.
Grant playfully puts Bobby in a headlock.
GRANT
Oh you love us asshole!
Bobby pushes Grant off of him and fixes his hair.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Hey, hey, hey, watch the hair! They
had a stylist do it, so Im having a
great hair day.
CONNOR
Youre such a pretty boy nancy.
ASHTON
Yeah, fame has changed you.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Piss off I keep it real.
ASHTON
With stylists?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Hey that was ESPN, not me.
LISA BROOKS
Well Bobby, Id like to thank you for
your time today and for coming up to
New York City on your bye week. Well
continue the interview in a little bit
after the photographers take a few more
pictures of you.
18
19
BOBBY CRENSHAW
The pleasures all mine. Hey, when will
the issue be released?
LISA BROOKS
Look for it two weeks from now. And
were also going to do a two, three
minute clip for Sportscenter to tease
the issue too.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Cool, Im looking forward to it, Ive
got a feeling its going to be really
awesome.
INT. OWNERS OFFICE AT THE STADIUM
Bobby, whos in his practice gear, is sitting at a table in
a large, lavish office thats filled with football-related
memorabilia like pictures, awards, jerseys and other
football equipment.
One side of the office is just windows which look out to
the football field.
The owner, WYATT BAKER III, a gregarious, very Texan, older
gentleman walks over from his desk and slams a copy of ESPN
the Magazine on the table.
WYATT BAKER III
Care to explain to me what the hell this
was all about?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Pretty sick article, right?
WYATT BAKER III
Oh its sick alright. So sick it almost
made me puke.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
(confused)
Whats wrong with it? Do you think the
lion was a little overboard? I told
them it was, I wouldve been fine with
an ostrich, but they insisted on the
lion, they said it made me look strong
and powerful.

WYATT BAKER III
No, you dumbass, I dont give a fuck
about the lion. Im talking about the
content.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
What about it?
WYATT BAKER III
You go on nonstop about your drinking,
your smoking, youre stupid fighting
and, worse of all, your drug abuse.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Whoa, theres no abuse in my drug use.
Its a very friendly relationship.
WYATT BAKER III
Dont get smart with me kicker. You
do understand that as owner of this
franchise, I have an image to maintain
and protect. Youre not helping me
here.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
I dont think I said anything bad. Im
a 23 year old doing 23 year old things,
its no big deal. I think I should be
cut a little bit of slack.
WYATT BAKER III
Slack? Slack! I should take my belt
off, put you over my lap and whack the
shit out of you a few times, then maybe
youll get the point.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
That sounds a little excessive.
WYATT BAKER III
Bobby, you are aware that drugs are
against league rules right? Right?!
BOBBY CRENSHAW
I do.
WYATT BAKER III
And that if you fail a drug test youll
be suspended, right?
20

BOBBY CRENSHAW
Yeah, I heard something like that at
the rookie symposium. But they drug
test kickers too?
WYATT BAKER III
Of course they do! Same rules for
everybody.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
That seems like a waste, but OK.
WYATT BAKER III
And if you get suspended you dont get
paid.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Hold on, hold on. That I didnt know.
WYATT BAKER III
You think Id pay you out of the goodness
of my heart if you werent able to help
the team because of your selfishness?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Well I kind of thought you would, you
seem like a good dude.
WYATT BAKER III
Im not that good of a dude. And by the
way, why were none of my PR people with
you during the interview? You know a
PR person is supposed to be with you,
right?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Im sorry sir. I totally forgot about
that. See, me and my buddies tied a
little boys trip to New York City around
this ESPN thing. I was so wrapped up in
that I just forgot to tell your people
I had this going on.
WYATT BAKER III
Look, all Im saying is that you need
to settle down and handle yourself
better if you want to be the face of
the franchise. And you cant be the
face if you fail a drug test.
21

BOBBY CRENSHAW
Well Mr. Baker, you have nothing to worry
about.
WYATT BAKER III
And whys that?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Because I was taken out of context in
that article.
WYATT BAKER III
How so?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
I was telling stories about my early
college life, not current day, I havent
touched a drug in over two years.
ADAM MURPHY, the lanky, middle-aged general manager of the
team, who has been quietly sitting on a couch finally
speaks up.
ADAM MURPHY
Is that really true?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Absolutely.
ADAM MURPHY
So if you took a drug test, wed have
nothing to worry about?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
No, not at all.
ADAM MURPHY
Youre sure?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Sir not only would I pass, Id pass with
flying colors.
ADAM MURPHY
Good to hear that because we got word
from our mole in the league office that
after the commissioner read the ESPN
article today he ordered his staff to
(MORE)
22

ADAM MURPHY (contd)
give you a random drug test after our
next game. Its going to happen on
Tuesday morning.
Bobby suddenly becomes very nervous and squirms a little
bit in his seat, trying his best to hide his concern from
the GM and owner.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Really? I thought they only drug tested
after the season?
ADAM MURPHY
No, theyll do random drug tests during
the season too, thats why theyre called
random. Luckily weve got a guy on the
payroll in the league office to make
them a little less random. He gives us
a heads-up on these kinds of things.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Good to know. Yeah, Ill kick this drug
tests dick.
ADAM MURPHY
Good, Im glad we had this chat.
my mind to ease.
Puts
WYATT BAKER III

Mine too, like you said Bobby we have
nothing to worry aboutand that pleases
me.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
No problem bossand trust me, you do have
nothing to worry about.
ADAM MURPHY
OK, get back to practice now.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Yes sir.
WYATT BAKER III
Good luck with the game this weekend son.
Bobby stands up and leaves the office.
23
24
HALLWAY
As soon as he gets into the hallway he puts his back
against the wall, tilts his head back and closes his eyes.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Holy shit, Im so screwed. Im so friggin
screwed.
INT. HOTEL ROOM
Its late the night before a big football game and the
team, as usual, is staying in a hotel.
After curfew, Bobby is sitting on the bed alone in his room
smoking a bowl and watching Lisa Brooks feature about him
on ESPNs Sportscenter.
Its towards the end of the feature where Bobby is talking
about himself over various scenes of him posing and doing
activities in different locales.
BOBBY CRENSHAW (V.O.)
A lot of people dont know this about me,
but I consider myself a renaissance man
with a variety of interests. I think of
myself like a modern day Michelangelo or
Paulie Picasso. Except my paintbrush is
my foot and my easel is the goal post.
See people look at me and just think Im
a dumb jock, and at worst, not even a
jock, a dumb kicker. And you know what?
Sometimes that hurts. But Im not a
dumb jock, Im not a dumb kicker. Im
layered like an onion, if an onion could
squat 450 pounds and kick a ball 80 yards
consistently. I like to hunt
EXT. THE WOODS, TEXAS - SUNRISE
Bobby is dressed in full hunting gear and camouflaged face
hiding behind a tree with his brother Connor patiently
searching for white-tailed deer.
He finally gets one in his crosshairs from about twenty
yards away and shoots it.
Good shot.
CONNOR
I think you got it.
25
BOBBY CRENSHAW
I think so too.
LATER ON
Bobby kneels besides the dead deer, holding its antlers up
and posing with his new trophy as Connor takes a picture of
them.
Sweet!
CONNOR
Thats going on Instagram.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Tweet that shit out too dawg.
I like to fish
EXT. RIVER IN TEXAS DAY
Bobby, Connor, Ashton and Grant are standing knee deep in a
river wearing their fishing apparel complete with bright
orange bib pants.
The other three have their lines far out into the river
trying to get a bite while Bobby throws back his rod and
attempts to heave his line into the river.
However the line never goes forward and the rod is yanked
out of his hands.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
What the heck?
Bobby looks behind him and notices that the hook got stuck
between two rocks on the edge of the river as his friends
laugh at his misfortune.
GRANT
What happened bro?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Damn it, my hook got stuck between a
couple of rocks.
ASHTON
Well nobodys ever going to confuse you
with that famous fisherman, whatever his
name is.
26

I enjoy fine dining
INT. GUYS AMERICAN KITCHEN & BAR, MANHATTAN
Bobby is posing with GUY FIERI at a table in his restaurant
for a picture, both are giving a big thumbs up with huge
smiles across their faces.
I love animals too.
Bobby is standing in front of a bunch of cameras and hot
lights posing in jeans and a black leather jacket with a
cute kitten crawling on his shoulder.
Both real
EXT. SAN DIEGO ZOO DAY
Next, hes sitting in the middle of the lion habitat with
his arms around two lions that are lying on either side of
him as a photographer takes a picture of him.
and fake.
Reminiscent of the stuffed animal scene from the movie
E.T., Bobby shoots a playful scene where his huge, smiling
face is hidden in the middle of a bunch of stuffed
animals.
Im well read. Very well read.
INT. BOBBYS HOUSE, BATHROOM
In his spacious bathroom, Bobby sits on the ledge of his
built-in bathtub surrounded by scented candles and rose
petals, as he soaks his kicking leg in the tub while
reading Jane Austens Sense And Sensibility.

Hes deep in concentration as his lips move slightly while
reading and flipping the page, practically mouthing the
words as hes goes.
Its true, Im a sensitive souland I
bleed red, white and blue. I love being
an Texan just as much as I love being an
American.
EXT. PLAINS OF TEXAS SUNSET
Bobby is standing in a huge open field by himself, wearing
a cowboy hat and draped in a flag of Texas across one
shoulder and an American flag across the other as he
watches the sun set far off into the distance.
INT. HOTEL ROOM
The feature ends and they go back to the Sportscenter
studio where Lisa Brooks is sitting across from anchor,
ROBERT FLORES.
LISA BROOKS
And thats Bobby Crenshaw for you. A
complex individual who parties just
as hard as he works and isnt afraid
to admit it, but theres a deeper, more
sensitive side to him that people,
outside of his close friends and family,
dont get a chance to see. Its this
sensitivity that allows him to stay
grounded as one of the best, young
players in the world of big-time
professional football.
ROBERT FLORES
Thanks Lisa for the in-depth reporting,
such a fascinating athleteand a kicker
to boot. Incredible. Well folks, to
read up more about Bobby Crenshaw, the
first round rookie kicker sensation,
pick up your copy of ESPN the Magazine
on newsstands now.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
(smiles)
Nice.
27

Suddenly theres a KNOCK at the door.
bed and rushes over to answer it.
Bobby jumps off his
When he opens the door he sees a very attractive blonde

woman named CANDY standing there wearing a trench coat.
CANDY
Hello there.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Hi come on in.
Candy enters the room and immediately makes herself
comfortable by taking off her trench coat, revealing very
sexy lingerie, and throwing it on a chair.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Wow, you dont waste any time, do you?
CANDY
Small talk is for wives and girlfriends,
Im an escort, I fuck.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Im glad you actually look like your
picture. That doesnt happen too often
on Backpage.
CANDY
I take my job seriously and customer
satisfaction is my main concern as an
independent contractor.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Thats good to hear.
CANDY
You use Backpage often?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
From time to time. I travel a lot.
whats your name?
CANDY
Candy.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Mmmm, I like candy.
So
28

Candy walks up to Bobby and rubs her hands across his
chest.
CANDY
So what do you want to do? Fuck me
hard, fuck me slow? Toss me around
a bit? Bite my ass? Watch me squirt?
I can squirt for you. Just keep in
mind, anal is extra.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
That all sounds pretty enticing but I
have something else in mind.
Role playing?
CANDY
I like it.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Not exactly.
Bobby walks over to the corner of his room and digs into a
large travel bag to take out the game Connect Four.
CANDY
(puzzled)
Is that Connect Four?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
(excitedly)
You betcha! Ever play?
CANDY
Well yeah, I mean I probably havent
played in like ten years.
Bobby rushes over to the bed and begins to set the game up
on it.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Its fun, right?
CANDY
I supposeif youre a kid.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Oh no, youve got it all wrong.
great game!
Its a
29

CANDY
And you still play it?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Usually the night before a game, yeah.
CANDY
Why?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
It gets my mind right. Its about
strategy, concentration, work ethic all
wrapped up in one seemingly simple game.
But if you play it correctly, its not
simple, its a mind fuck actually. And
this gets me ready for the mind fuck
that is football.
CANDY
I see, interesting.
Bobby pats the bed, inviting Candy to take a seat across
from him.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Come, take a seat.
CANDY
So let me get this straight, you invited
me over to play Connect Four with you?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
(innocently)
Yes.
CANDY
Well this is certainly a first.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
What color do you want to be?
CANDY
Its your money, you pick.
Ill be red.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
You go first though.
30

Candy slowly makes her way over to the bed, sits down,
studies the empty board then finally places her first chip
down the middle.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Good move, you resisted the attempt to
be too gimmicky by throwing it in one
of the corners, I respect that.
Candy instinctively begins to push her bra strap down,
preparing to take it off.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Dont do that.
CANDY
Why not, dont you want some sexy time?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
No, youre here to play Connect Four.
Besides I play my best football when Im
backed up. It allows me to unleash my
aggression to the fullest on the field.
CANDY
But I thought you were a kicker?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
I am, but I kick the fuck out of the ball.
Candy pushes her bra strap up then starts to caress her
breast, seemingly unable to stop trying to seduce him.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
And dont rub your tits either.
Bobby finally puts his chip in the board, above hers.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Your turn.
LATER ON
The two are still sitting on the bed as Bobby concentrates
hard on his next move in the middle of an intense Connect
Four game when CANDY finally speaks up.
31

CANDY
So are you sure you dont want a blowjob
to relax?
Bobby continues staring at the board, not breaking his
concentration.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Nope, Im good.
CANDY
A handjob at least?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
No.
CANDY
What if I lick your balls?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
What if you be quiet and let me concentrate?
CANDY
I have to say, Ive been hooking for a
couple years now, men have asked me to
do, and have done to them, a lot of crazy,
odd stuff but this is the weirdest shit
Ive ever had to do.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Thats nice.
CANDY
Like really weird.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
What can I say, Im a complex guy.
Bobby finally realizes he has a connect four then puts
his chip in to solidify the win.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Connect four motherfucker! Yes, I win.
Just like Im going to win tomorrow!
CANDY
OK, are we done?
32

BOBBY CRENSHAW
Hell no, I paid for the full hour.
CANDY
I usually leave after the guy nuts though.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Well youll be waiting for a long time
then.
CANDY
An hour it is.
Bobby opens the gate so that all the chips fall to the
plate below so that they can start a new game.
CANDY
Tell me something Robert.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
You can call me Bobby, everybody calls me
Bobby.
CANDY
I like Robert.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
OK.
CANDY
Youre in a hotel with like fifty other
players, Im assuming youre friends with
a lot of them.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Thats right.
CANDY
So why do you call an escort to come over
and play Connect Four with you? Why not
ask one of your teammates to swing by and
play with you?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
I like female companionship.
CANDY
Yeah, but what good is female companionship if youre not fucking it?
33
34
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Well youre a lot better to look at than
my teammates, hows that?
CANDY
Thats probably fair.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
And your hotness helps me with my back
up. Those perfect tits of yours, your
hot ass, long legs, dimpled face. I
might not be unloading on you tonight,
but with your help of just sitting here
looking pretty as all hell I can guarantee
that Ill be unloading all over my
opponent tomorrow.
CANDY
Youre an intense guy.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
You have no idea. Thats why I smoke weed,
to mellow out.
CANDY
(intrigued)
Do you have weed here?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Of course, I always have it on me.
CANDY
Can I smoke some?
Bobby leans over to the nightstand and grabs his bowl. He
relights it and takes a puff before passing it over to
Candy who takes her own hit before coughing a couple times.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
(smiles)
So another game?
CANDY
(smiles)
Sure, another game.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
OK, winner goes first!
35
Bobby places the first chip in the middle of the board to

kick off another game.
EXT. TEXAS BULLS FOOTBALL STADIUM
Bobby is lining up with his team for a kickoff after they
scored late in the 4th quarter.
GAME ANNOUNCER (O.S.)
And a great drive by the Bulls to tie
up the score at 21 apiece. It was a 14
play, 85 yard drive which chewed up nine
minutes of the clock, leaving only two
minutes and fifteen seconds left in the
game.
Bobby kicks off and the KICK RETURNER catches it at the
five yard line and starts running up field.
And Crenshaw kicks it down to Butler who
catches it on the five yard line.
The kick returner breaks a few tackles and runs to the
twenty yard line where hes absolutely crushed by Bobby who
was running down the field unblocked.
The crowd lets out a collective ohhh in response to the
clean but very violent hit.
What a devastating hit by the kicker,
Bobby Crenshaw!
The returner is decleated and fumbles the ball to the
ground which is picked up by another member of the kicking
team.
And its a fumble!
Bobby stands over the helpless returner who is knocked out
and not moving.
Thats right.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Sit down bitch!
36
The player who recovers the fumble scrambles to the endzone

and scores the go-ahead touchdown as his teammates follow
and jump on him in celebration.
And touchdown! Unbelievable sequence
of events! You just dont expect to see
the kicker laying wood like that.
COLOR ANALYST (O.S.)
But thats what Bobby Crenshaw does,
thats what you get when you draft someone like Crenshaw in the first round,
hes the total package. Tough, fearless,
accurate.
Bobby joins the group in the endzone and is immediately
mobbed by his teammates who are all congratulating him on
the big hit.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Way to go guys! Way to go!
SCOTT MCDERMOTT
Thats all you baby!
BOBBY CRENSHAW
I cant wait to party with you fuckers
tonight! Were going to get high high!
DERRICK WILLIAMS
You know it bro!
LATER ON
The clock is ticking down to the end of the game as Bobby
stands on the sidelines with Cody.
And the clock hits double zero. Texas
wins 28-21 thanks to a crucial hit by
first round draft pick Bobby Crenshaw.
COLOR ANALYST (O.S.)
He certainly has been earning his money
already, so early in his career.
Cody turns to Bobby and shakes his hand as soon as the
clock hits zero.

CODY HAMILTON
Good job Bobby.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
You too, you looked awesome standing
here on the sidelines.
CODY HAMILTON
(laughs)
Dick.
As the two teams converge in the middle of the field for
post-game handshakes, Lisa Brooks rushes up to Bobby for a
quick interview.
Bobby, Bobby!
today Bobby!
LISA BROOKS
Congratulations on the win
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Thanks Lisa.
LISA BROOKS
What about your tackle at the end of the
game to cause the fumble? That was pretty
clutch.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Thanks Lisa. You know I can placekick
the football ninety yards easily but I go
out of my way not to kick it into the end
zone because I like decapitating motherfuckers.
LISA BROOKS
Ummm, Im sorry Bobby but this is live
television, you cant say that word.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Oh sorry, I like slaughtering these
bitches out there on the gridiron.
You saw what I did to that returner,
I knocked him out cold. Better?
LISA BROOKS
(sheepishly)
I guess thatll have to do.
the studio.
Back to
37
38
As Lisa is quickly trying to end the interview, Bobby waves

to the audience and shouts out.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Kicking and tackling, thats what Crazy
Leg Crenshaw does! Hit, stick and bust
dick baby!
Lisa puts her microphone down after the interview ends.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
How was that?
LISA BROOKS
Entertaining, as always.
Great!
BOBBY CRENSHAW
I love to get people talking!
Bobby runs over to a group of teammates hanging out in the

middle of the field and joins them in celebrating.
DERRICK WILLIAMS
Party tonight at my house. Even the
kickers are welcome! Its the least
I can do after this win.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Whatever, you should be honored the life
of the party will be there.
EXT. RESIDENTIAL STREET IN UPSCALE NEIGHBORHOOD NIGHT
Its Sunday night after another grueling home game and
Derrick Williams is throwing his customary post-game party
so everyone can blow off some steam.
The peacefulness of Derricks street, which is bordered by
mansions, is broken by four ATVs illegally cruising down
the road with rap music blaring from the lead one.
Bobby, Connor, Ashton and Grant are all riding their own
ATVs on their way to Derricks house.
With no regards for others, they speed up and park right on
Derricks lawn, scattering partygoers in the process.
Bobby turns off his music, gets off his ATV and looks
around at the stunned partygoers.
39
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Lets go fuck some shit up boys!
The four of them walk across the lawn and towards the front
door.
INT. MANSION, HOUSE PARTY
The house is filled with PLAYERS, their FRIENDS, and a ton
of scantily-clad YOUNG FEMALES dancing and grinding with
the guys and each other in the spacious living room.
HALLWAY
The front door swings open and in enters Bobby, Connor,
Ashton and Grant.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
(yells)
Hello everybody, Im Bobby Crenshaw and
Im here to drink all your beer, smoke
all your weed and fuck all your women!
And yes, Im a kicker. Deal with it!
Upon making his grand entrance, Grant turns to him and
whispers.
GRANT
You know youre the only guy I know who
continues doing drugs even after theyve
been told theyre going to be drug tested
in a few days.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Hey, the way I see it the drugs in my
system from last week arent going anywhere in time for the test so I might
as well give the residue in my organs
some friends.
GRANT
So what are you going to do about the
drug test?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Dont worry, Ive got a plan.
40
GRANT
See, right there, when you say that kind
of shit thats when I start to worry.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Dude trust me, Ive got it all under
control.
GRANT
You better. As one of your admitted
hangers-on, I dont need to see you get
suspended and lose a few paychecks.
That might mean Id need to get a real
job.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Bro, regardless of what happens Ill
still need a head of security, since I
intend to take my brand global, and
youre my guy.
GRANT
Thats what I like to hear.
Bobby and his boys make their way through the crowded
hallway.
As hes walking, Bobby takes a half drank bottle of beer
right out of the hands of a young, skinny guy whos talking
to a girl.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Ill take that. Thanks.
He takes a big gulp from it and continues walking until he
sees Derrick Williams who greets him with a big high five
at the end of the hallway.
DERRICK WILLIAMS
Whats up honky?!?!
BOBBY CRENSHAW
My nigga, good game today D Dub.
DERRICK WILLIAMS
You too. You know, for a pussy ass
kicker youre a pretty tough guy.

BOBBY CRENSHAW
Its all due to the pent up anger I have
from the Lord making me a kicker I guess.
DERRICK WILLIAMS
Youre a trip motherfucker.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
You got any party favors?
Derrick taps on Scotts shoulder, whos standing next to
him talking to a young women.
DERRICK WILLIAMS
(laughs)
Hey Scottie, get a load of this guy over
here. Rookies looking for some party
favors.
SCOTT MCDERMOTT
Damn, back in my rookie days the veterans
used to make us cruise the ghetto for
that stuff. Almost got shot on a couple
occasions too. Thank god I was packing.
DERRICK WILLIAMS
Yeah, can you believe the balls on this
motherfucker?
SCOTT MCDERMOTT
Have we gotten soft in our advancing age?
DERRICK WILLIAMS
Nah I think these college kids have just
gotten cockier.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Hey if I thought I was going to come here
and get lectured I wouldve just stayed
home and played Madden with my boys.
DERRICK WILLIAMS
Relax freshman, my guy will be here soon
with his shit.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
So are we going to stand around with our
dicks in our heads in the meantime or are
we going to party?
41
42
Derrick turns to Scott and laughs again.

DERRICK WILLIAMS
Seriously, this fucking guy!
(pats Bobby on the shoulder)
Why dont you and the Aryan Nation check
out the keg in the kitchen.
Connor, Ashton and Grant look at each other perplexed after
being referred to as members of the Aryan Nation.
As Bobby and his friends walk away, Grant leans over and
whispers in his ear.
Aryan Nation?
GRANT
Im not that white.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Dude, your name is Grant, youre fucking
white.
KITCHEN
Bobby and his gang walk into a packed kitchen where theres
a keg sitting in the middle with a line of about ten
people.
Bobby walks directly up to a tall, lanky GUY smoking a
joint off to the side of the room.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Yo man can I see that for a second?
STONER AT PARTY
(holds up his joint)
You mean this?
Yeah man.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Hook a motherfucker up.
STONER AT PARTY
Youre a football player right?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Im not just a football player, Im the
guy that singlehandedly won the game
today.
43
STONER AT PARTY
(laughs)
Ohhh, righteous man, righteous!
BOBBY CRENSHAW
So can I get a hit or do I need to punch
you in the face?
STONER AT PARTY
Ohhh, sure man, here.
The stoner passes the joint over to Bobby who takes a long
hit then exhales the smoke very slowly.
He patiently waiting for the joint to be passed back to him
but Bobby decides to take another long hit then exhales
slowly again.
After the second hit, the stoner puts his hand out assuming
hell get the joint back but Bobby just stares at him and
takes a third hit.
STONER AT PARTY
Awww, come on man. Its not puff, puff,
puff.
Bobby continues to stand there silently staring at him then
exhales the smoke right into his face.
After that, he looks down at the joint and sees that its
practically gone.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Sorry, all gone my man.
Bobby throws the roach on the ground and steps on it.
Thanks for the hit, your shit doesnt
suck that much.
Bobby walks across the kitchen, takes a full cup of beer
from some poor sap that just waited in the keg line to get
it and walks towards a door that leads outside.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Come on boys, lets get some fresh air
and see what kind of trim is lying in
wait out in the wilderness.

EXT. MANSION, BACK PATIO
The crew takes a step outside and surveys the crowd which
is made up of very attractive young women and athletic or
big, burly young men who are congregating in a bunch of
groups all around the patio.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Not a bad scene. Not a bad scene at
all.
CONNOR
Do you have a target in your sights yet?
Bobby surveys the scene one more time, finally locking his
eyes on an attractive, young woman named KELLY, before he
answers.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Not yet, but I do see a pretty young
thing with potential.
GRANT
Shall we go up and chat with her?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Patience my young apprentice. Always
remember, its a marathon not a sprint.
I mean we havent even done the good
drugs yet. Speaking of which
Bobby reaches deep into his jeans pocket and pulls out a
few pills wrapped in a Kleenex.
Lets get this party started right.
ASHTON
Whats that you got?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Molly.
ASHTON
You got some for us?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
I only got three. One for me, one for
(MORE)
44
45

my bro, Connor, and you two idiots can
split one.
ASHTON
(sarcastically)
Gee thanks.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Dont like it? Buy your own drugs.
ASHTON
I guess beggars cant be choosers.
Wise words.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Come on now grab one.
Ashton and Connor each grab a pill from Bobbys palm, then
Bobby swallows his pill and washes it down with a big gulp
of beer.
After taking a gulp, Bobby leans his head back until it
touches the house behind him.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Now just relax and wait for the awesomeness to take over.
LATER ON
The guys are still hanging out in the same corner of the
patio and are in mid-conversation. Its clear to see that
their recreational drugs are finally kicking in.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
You guys are all amateurs, every single
last one of yall. Jeez, no wonder why
Im the only pro athlete in the group,
because Im the only one that acts
professional.
GRANT
How so?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
You dont use your real name when you
check into a clinic. Thats day one
stuff really. I literally learned
(MORE)

that during my freshman orientation at
Austin. In this day and age of social
media, imagine if I ever tested positive
for herpes, some flunky social worker
would post that on Twitter before I
even left the clinic. You got to protect
yourself, you dont want that kind of
shit blowing up your spot with the
chicks.
GRANT
Honestly, Im kind of surprised you dont
already have the herp.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
(laughs)
Get the fuck out of here.
ASHTON
So you dont use your real name when you
get tested?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Oh hell no.
ASHTON
What do you use then?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Connor Crenshaw.
Connor punches Bobby hard in the chest.
CONNOR
You would, wouldnt you, you fucking
asshole.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Im just kidding!
CONNOR
Dick.
ASHTON
What do you really use?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Peter Montana.
46
Peter Montana?
47
ASHTON
Interesting.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Yeah.
GRANT
Guys, guys, I think Im high!
Oh you think?
CONNOR
I know were all high.
GRANT
Yeah, but Im really high.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Just enjoy it man, enjoy it.
GRANT
I think Im going to go inside to sit
for a couple minutes.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
OK, whatever pussy.
Grant flips Bobby off as he stumbles into the side of the
house before walking back inside.
GRANT
Fuck off.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Man, our boy needs to learn to hold
his shit better.
ASHTON
Hell be fine.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
I need a cigarette.
Bobbys looking around his immediate surroundings trying to
gauge if theres anyone he can bum a cigarette from.
He finally taps a very attractive, young female on the
shoulder whos standing close by him; its Kelly, the girl
he saw as soon as he stepped on the patio.
48
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Excuse me, do you have a cigarette I can
bum?
KELLY
Sure anything for you.
Kelly hands him a cigarette and lights it for him as Connor
quietly signals Ashton to walk a few feet away to give
Bobby his space with her.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
(smiles)
Oh, you know who I am?
KELLY
Yeah, Im a big football fan.
Nice.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Whats your name pretty girl?
KELLY
Kelly.
Bobby is clearly smitten with Kelly and cant stop smiling
at her.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Well Kelly, nice to meet you and thanks
for the cigarette.
KELLY
Oh and this is my boyfriend, Patrick.
Kelly grabs her boyfriend, PATRICKs, arm and drags him
over to her.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
(uninterested)
Yeah, whats up pal.
(smiles to Kelly)
So Kelly, where are you from?
Ashton, whos been watching this whole interaction go down
from several feet away, whispers to Connor.
ASHTON
The old can I bum a cigarette line.

CONNOR
Works every time.
LATER ON
Bobby is leaning up against the house on the back patio
still engaged in conversation with Kelly.
Connor and Ashton continue hanging out several feet away
but theyve managed to pull Kellys boyfriend, Patrick,
into their conversation and away from Bobby and Kelly.
As theyre in mid-conversation, Kelly flirtatiously rubs
her hand on Bobbys leg.
KELLY
So why do they call you Crazy Leg?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Because I kicked a 65 yard field goal
in high school, which people thought was
crazy. I dunno, it was no big deal to
me. Oh, and Im borderline psychotic,
thats the other reason.
KELLY
Oh stop, youre funny.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
No, I really am psychotic.
Connor, whos managed to eavesdrop on their conversation,
shouts out from several feet away.
CONNOR
He really is. Im his older brother so
I can vouch for that.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Actually do you really want to know why
they call me Crazy Leg?
KELLY
Yes!
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Because my third leg is crazy big.
49
50
KELLY
Whats your third leg?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Well come with me to the bathroom and
Ill show you.
KELLY
(smiles)
Oh, OK!
Bobby grabs a hold of Kellys hand and leads her past
Patrick and into the house.
KELLY
Dont worry honey, Ill be back in a
few minutes.
Bobby cant resist saying something to him as they walk
past the boyfriend.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
(whispers)
Awww dude, did you just get your girl
stolen by a kicker? Lets go to the
booth and check the instant replay on
this.
(pauses)
Yes, its confirmed, you just got your
bitch stolen by a kicker! Deal with it
bro.
Ashton pats Patrick on his back, almost consoling him,
before he and Connor walk into the house as well.
ASHTON
Tough break my man.
Patrick remains standing outside by himself looking
genuinely perplexed over what just happened.
HALLWAY LEADING TO BATHROOM
Bobby walks into a hallway holding the girls hand and sees
a long line of people waiting for the bathroom.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Jesus is this the line?

GUY WAITING FOR BATHROOM
Yeah buddy.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Screw this.
Bobby uses his size to push his way through the crowd and
towards the bathroom door.
Without hesitation, Bobby barges into the bathroom where
theres a younger guy inside taking a piss.
BATHROOM
While in midstream, Bobby pushes the guy away from the
toilet and towards the door, his piss is going everywhere.
GUY IN BATHROOM
Heyyyy.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Scram man, I have to take care of some
business.
Bobbys girl gives the innocent guy one more push until
hes completely out of the bathroom.
Once hes gone, she closes the door and locks it as the
crowd in the hallway bangs loudly on it.
GIRL WAITING FOR BATHROOM (O.S.)
Hey come on! Thats not fair.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
So, where were we?
KELLY
I think right about here.
Kelly grabs Bobby and passionately kisses him. After a
while of making out, Bobby picks her up and places her ass
in the bathroom sink.
KELLY
WhoaIm in the sink!
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Sorry babe, thats sorta my thing.
51
52
KELLY
Really?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Yes.
Bobby makes out with her some more.
KELLY
Jesus, I cant believe Im making out
with a kicker! I never thought that
would happen when I came to this jock
party tonight. I mean my boyfriend
said I was allowed to hook up with the
quarterback or tight end, but Im sure
he didnt even consider that Id be
making out with the kicker.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Oh honey, youll be doing more than
just making out with the kicker.
Bobby picks Kelly up and places her legs back down on the
ground, putting her up against the sink with her ass facing
him.
He takes his shirt off, wraps his arms around her waist
tight then starts kissing her neck.
KELLY
This is so hot!
BOBBY CRENSHAW
It gets hotter.
Bobby pulls Kellys dress up from the bottom up to her
waist then pulls her thong to the side so he can nail her
from behind.
While hes having sex with her, he narcissistically looks
at himself in the bathroom mirror, fixing his hair and
flexing his muscles while Kellys head is down in the sink
as she groans in pleasure.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
You like this kicker dick?
KELLY
Oh yes!
53
BOBBY CRENSHAW
You like getting fucked by a kicker?
KELLY
I do!
GIRL WAITING FOR BATHROOM (O.S.)
Come on assholes, open the fucking door!
Why dont you have some manners and suck
his dick at home!
HALLWAY LEADING TO BATHROOM
Patrick aimlessly snakes his way through the crowded
hallway and along the bathroom line looking for his missing
girlfriend.
PATRICK
Has anyone seen my girlfriend? Anyone?
Anyone see my girlfriend?
(looks at someone standing
in line)
Have you seen my girlfriend?
Dude, I have no idea who your girlfriend
is?
PATRICK
Brunette, early twenties, about five
five, cute.
Yeah, her and about forty other girls
at this party.
Patrick continues walking down the hallway quietly calling
out her name before entering another room.
PATRICK
Kelly?
Kelly?
A guy at the front of the bathroom line bangs on the door.

GUY BANGING ON BATHROOM DOOR
Guys, some of us actually need to use
the bathroom to piss!

BATHROOM
Bobby and Kelly are still engaged in sex against the sink.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
(shouts)
Hey, shut up!
(whispers)
Sorry baby.
KELLY
Thats OK, just keep on fucking me.
Dont stop.
Surprisingly, Bobby only lasts about 30 seconds in total
but he doesnt seem to care at all.
He lets out a few final grunts while Kelly stands there
looking totally unsatisfied.
KELLY
Wait, thats it?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Yeah babe, thats all you get.
Kelly pulls her dress back down to her knees.
KELLY
(sarcastically)
Gee thanks.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Would you like an autograph?
KELLY
No, I think you signing my ass with your
jizz after 30 seconds was good enough.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
OK fine.
Bobby takes his iPhone out of his pocket, puts his arm
around Kelly, smiles and takes a selfie with her.
KELLY
What are you doing?
54

BOBBY CRENSHAW
Just posting a picture of us on Instagram.
Really?
KELLY
Really? Why?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Because youre hot. I use Instagram like
a personal scrapbook.
KELLY
So you post pictures of all the girls you
fuck?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
(innocently)
Well yeah, how else would I remember everyone?
KELLY
Youre unbelievable.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
(smiles)
Awww, youre not too bad yourself babe.
KELLY
Sorry, youre not unbelievable, youre
impossible. Im going to find my boyfriend. Just dont tag me in your
picture.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Dont worry, I dont even know your
screenname.
With that, Kelly storms out of the bathroom while Bobby
remains in there flexing his muscles one more time in the
mirror before he leaves.
He walks out of the bathroom to a chorus of boos from the
people waiting anxiously in line.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Ohhh, Im the bad guy for needing to nut?
Forget you all!
55
56
INT. JENNAS HOUSE

HALLWAY
The doorbell rings and Bobbys older sister, JENNA, a
pretty housewife and mom in her early thirties, walks down
the hallway and opens the door. Bobby is standing there.
JENNA
Hey Bobby, I wasnt expecting you.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Sorry, I was just in the neighborhood
and thought Id stop by.
Really?
JENNA
(skeptically)
You were just in the neighborhood?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Yes.
JENNA
You know Im your sister, which means I
know when youre full of shit. So whats
going on?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
OK, you got me. I need a favor.
JENNA
(smiles)
Of course you do. Come on, come on in.
I just baked a fresh batch of cookies.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Ummm cookies, I love cookies.
LATER ON KITCHEN
Bobby and Jenna are sitting at a table eating cookies while
in the middle of a conversation.
JENNA
So what do you need this time?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Tommys urine.

JENNA
(incredulously)
What?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
I need Tommys pee.
JENNA
Why?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Because I have to take a drug test.
JENNA
And your way to pass it is to steal my
four year old sons urine?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Its not stealing if you ask permission.
JENNA
But thats what youre trying to do,
use his urine to pass the test, right?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Thats my plan.
JENNA
Dont you have somebody else, anybody
else that you can go to?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
No, all my friends love drugs too.
JENNA
Jesus Bobby, you need to get new friends.
Or at least keep someone in your employment
thats straight edge.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Noted. Come on sis, Im in a bind big
time. I could get suspended.
JENNA
What do you think theyll find?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
What the fuck wont they find?
(MORE)
Im
57

on almost every drug known to mankind.
Weed, molly, coke, pain killers, shrooms,
horse tranquilizers.
JENNA
Horse tranquilizers?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Ive been doing drugs for a long time
a very long time. Sometimes I need
something that gives me an extra kick.
JENNA
Why do you continue to do drugs and risk
everything?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Thats like asking why do people go to
the movies, or go out to dinner, or
visit Tahiti.
JENNA
Hmmm, not really.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
(ignores her)
Because they like to. Thats why I do
what I do, because I like to.
JENNA
I see.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
What dont people understand? Im a
damn kicker, why does it matter?
JENNA
Because you have to play within the
rules no matter who you are.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Its bullshit. Those rules are stupid.
Molly doesnt make me a better kicker,
if anything it probably hinders me.
They should want me to do drugs,
encourage it for the sake of competition.
58
59
JENNA
Youre certifiably nuts.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
No, Im a realist.
(pauses)
So, wheres my nephew?
Jenna sits there thinking for a moment before yelling out
for her son.
JENNA
Tommy get downstairs!
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Oh thank you Jenna. Youre a great
big sister.
JENNA
You know I cant say no to you.
still think youre an idiot.
But I
BOBBY CRENSHAW
I know and I can live with that.
Jenna stands up and grabs a cup from a cabinet as TOMMY,
Bobbys cute four year old nephew, comes walking into the
room.
Yes mom?
TOMMY
Hi Uncle Bobby.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Hey squirt.
Jenna takes the cover of the cup off and hands it to Tommy.
JENNA
Here Tommy, I need you to pee in this cup?
TOMMY
Really?
JENNA
Yes.
TOMMY
Why?

JENNA
Because Im taking you to the doctors
later this week and he needs it.
TOMMY
But mom, I hate the doctors!
JENNA
Everyone does Tommy, but its something
we all have to do. Dont worry, Ill
take you for ice cream after your visit.
TOMMY
You promise?
JENNA
Absolutely.
Tommy grabs the cup and rushes out of the kitchen.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
And I hope you have better aim into
the cup than you do in my toilet at
home little man. You need to fill it
buddy.
(looks at Jenna)
Interesting strategy.
JENNA
Whats that?
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Lying to him about going to the doctors
then lying to him about getting ice cream.
Youre a sick girl Jenna.
JENNA
Oh Bobby when you have kids youll learn.
Just lie to the kid to get him to do
what you want. It doesnt matter, hell
forget everything I said and promised
in fifteen minutes.
INT. BATHROOM IN THE LOCKER ROOM
Bobby, whos wearing a t-shirt and his uniform pants, is
standing in a bathroom stall looking at the piss-filled
cup.
60
61
BOBBY CRENSHAW
(to himself)
OK, lets do this.
He sets the cup down on top of the toilet tank then takes
out his wallet.
He digs through it until he finds a condom which he takes
out and rips it open.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
(to himself)
OK, lets see. How am I going to do
this?
Bobby puts the condom up to his mouth and blows it up.
Once its opened up a bit, he puts it on his arm then
uncaps the cup.
Next he carefully pours the piss into the condom spilling
some of it on his arm in the process.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
(to himself)
Ewww, I got kid piss on me.
(pauses)
OK, that should be enough.
Once he finishes pouring the piss, he ties the end of the
condom to close it then shoves it down into his boxer
briefs.
INT. LOCKER ROOM
Bobby walks out of the bathroom and through the locker room
which is filled with OTHER PLAYERS in the midst of changing
out of their uniforms.
He casually walks over to his locker and checks the
messages on his iPhone when Adam Murphy, whos accompanied
by TWO MEN IN SUITS, approaches.
ADAM MURPHY
Bobby, hey yo Bobby.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
(innocently)
Yes, what is it Mr. Murphy?

ADAM MURPHY
Its time for your drug test.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Oh thats today? Shit, I almost forgot.
ADAM MURPHY
Yes its today and these two gentlemen
from the league office are here to
administer it to you.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Well guys, its your lucky day, you get
to see the largest dick in Austin.
Scott, who is changing at a locker next to Bobby,
interjects.
SCOTT MCDERMOTT
Dude, they already are looking at the
biggest dick in Austin.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
(mockingly laughs)
Ohhh, good one asshole.
DRUG TEST ADMINISTRATOR
We dont actually watch you pee.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Ohh you dont?
No, we wait outside of the stall to make
sure you dont bring anything in with you
that could potentially taint the sample.
Bobby playfully slaps the other administer on hius
shoulder.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
This dude seems pretty disappointed about
that.
(laughs)
Ha, Im just joking around guys. Why
all serious?
62
63

Because we take the league rules very
serious.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
As do I, which is why Im happy to
cooperate.
Good, so lets get this done.
BOBBY CRENSHAW
Im ready whenever you boys are.
Follow us then.
The two administrators lead Bobby through the locker room
and back over to the bathroom.
Knowing that hes pulling one over the system, a few of his
teammates quietly give him high fives behind the
administrators backs as he makes his way through the room.
As an added insult, Bobby confidently struts along and
flips off the administrators multiple times behind their
backs.
FADE OUT

Out of Bounds Screenplay

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Out of Bounds

Episode #1: The Drug Test

Original Screenplay written by Jason Wiese

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

PHOTOGRAPHERS, CAMERAMEN and other ASSORTED STAFFERS along

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Bobby playfully grabs Lisas hand and rubs her finger

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

WYATT BAKER III

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

BOBBY CRENSHAW (V.O.)

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Bobby jumps off his

When he opens the door he sees a very attractive blonde

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Bobby places the first chip in the middle of the board to

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

The player who recovers the fumble scrambles to the endzone

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

As Lisa is quickly trying to end the interview, Bobby waves

Bobby runs over to a group of teammates hanging out in the

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Derrick turns to Scott and laughs again.

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

BOBBY CRENSHAW (contd)

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese

Out of Bounds Original Screenplay by Jason Wiese