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of the Wave
It was nearly two decades ago when I approached our then senior pas-
tor, Stuart Briscoe, about leaving the college-age ministry. Colleen and
I had four children of our own, and I had grown weary leading four
hundred to five hundred college kids as well. Eight years of late-night
pizza parties, bus trips, retreats, weekly large-group meetings, and the
daily grind of youth ministry had taken its toll. I told Stuart I would be
interested in working in the area of evangelism, missions, assimilation,
or prayer. After hearing me out, he said, “Let me get back to you in a
month or so.”
When we met again, I was in for a surprise: “Steve, I’d like you to
take over the men’s ministry.”
“What? That wasn’t on my list. I’ve never worked with men before.
What would I do with them?”
Stuart’s response was quick and to the point. “The same thing you’ve
been doing with the college-age students; just try to act a little more
mature!” And that is exactly what I have been doing ever since. In my
mind, there is no greater job in the world. We haven’t always hit on all
cylinders, but two stories illustrate what a fully functioning ministry to
men can do in the context of a local church.
they invited. The men stand there with their tickets in hand, hoping and
praying that this is the year their guest joins them. As the starting time
draws near, the number of men waiting at the window dwindles, but they
still have hope that their guest will arrive. When the program starts at
eight, a few more trickle in, but there is always a group of men still wait-
ing by the window. Sometimes they join the breakfast alone; sometimes
they go home. Either way, they have stepped out in faith trying to reach
another man for Christ. During the breakfast a man shares his testimony
about how he came to Christ. Then there is a powerful message on how
each man in attendance can have a personal relationship with Jesus, and
every year we see many men commit their lives to Him.
Men who have come to realize that there is no greater joy and nothing
more fulfilling than to give their lives for the sake of others.
Men Connected to Other Men—We have gone from five small groups
to more than one hundred groups. These are scattered all over the Mil-
waukee area, studying the Word, sharing life, and being missional in
nature. Everything we do in the ministry has been geared to moving
men into small groups because we know it is the optimal place for spiri-
tual transformation. So whether it is a specialized group for those with a
sexual addiction; a Soul Purpose Discipleship group; a book study group;
a video small group (such as The Quest for Authentic Manhood); or a group
meeting for Bible study and fellowship, they all have one thing in com-
mon: They are groups of men committed to Christ and His people.
As I look back, God has truly done an incredible work in our midst. And
because I am confident that He is not finished yet, I look to the future
with hope and excitement. I also look forward to sharing with you the
lessons we have learned over the years on how to more effectively min-
ister to men.
This is what this book is all about. It is about men ministering to
other men. It is about building a team of men equipped to do the min-
istry. It is a tool to help layleaders within a local church start and run an
effective men’s ministry.
This book will help whether you are an individual thinking about
beginning a men’s ministry or you are already a part of a small group of
men, whether you are starting from scratch or adding to what is already
established. What I write here applies to churches of one hundred, one
thousand, or even ten thousand people. The principles are the same,
though the applications may be different. I have given points to ponder
and exercises throughout that will help you to walk through the practical
steps that make growing a men’s ministry achievable.
If ever there was a time in history when local churches needed to
build men individually and corporately it is now. That’s one big reason
for this revised and expanded edition. We have learned so much since
this book was first published in 1996. In addition to adding two new
chapters (chapters 3 and 12), sections throughout have been updated to
reflect the paradigm shifts we’re seeing in ministry to men.
As we survey our country’s spiritual, financial, and societal land-
scapes, it becomes apparent that men not only need ministries geared
especially for them but men are looking for them as well. Jesus once
talked to His disciples about finishing the work the Father had given Him
to do. He then challenged the disciples to look at the fields—to notice
that they were ripe, ready to be harvested ( John 4:34–38).
Christ’s challenge to us is to turn our eyes to the fields and see the
opportunities before us. We can be tempted to be angry that our world
seems to be going from bad to worse. Yet what we see as problems in
our society, we must grasp as opportunities for ministry.
Wherever I look, I see men who desperately need a ministry
uniquely designed to reach them as men, working on the issues they
face. For a moment let’s look at the fields. Yes, there are challenges,
but vast opportunities lie before us. Let’s see why men are ripe for
harvest.
words. Labels most of us have worn since the day we were born. And as
a result, the average male over thirty can’t name one close friend he could
call at any time of the day or night to share his hurt and pain. Wherever
I go I tell men that isolation is not masculinity, it is stupidity.
A recent survey asked men who their best friends were. More than
75 percent said it was a guy from high school, a guy from an old sports
team, and so on. Interestingly, most of the men hadn’t spoken to that
friend or seen him for several years. Some friendship!
The Lone Ranger of the ’60s and ’70s is looking for companionship
in the twenty-first century. He is looking for one or two good buddies
to hang out with. Friends he can share heart to heart with. Friends who
will walk with him at the birth of his first child, who will be there when
he loses his job, who will provide wise counsel when his teenager rebels,
and mourn with him when his parents or spouse dies.
Men, look at the fields, they are ripe for harvest! What an opportunity
for you to develop a ministry that helps men to belong and to develop
friendships—a place where they can get together and get to know each
other better.
No matter where you are right now in developing your ministry, you
need to know where you’re going. In the next chapter we will look at
the end game, what God looks for in a godly man, and what an effective
ministry to men looks like. So let’s get started.
Notes
2. Gary Oliver, Real Men Have Feelings Too: Regaining a Male Passion for
Life (Chicago: Moody Press, 1993), 63.
3. Chuck Swindoll, Growing Wise in Family Life (Portland, OR: Mult-
nomah, 1988).