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One of the hardest aspects to this whole process is my fear that I will never have a
chance to be healthy again and implement all of the lessons I have learned from
this experience. I fear that the klonopin cold turkey and subsequent polydrugging
including Seroquel has left me trapped in psychiatry with a damned if I do and
damned if I don't dilemma. That to become drug free will compromise my mental
health in ways that I will never recover from.
I am in the mental health field, ironically, and had previously worked hard to help
my patients stay med free - again irony please. Today for example I helped a man
stay off of klonopin before he got trapped in the same web I found myself in. I also
worked with a teenage girl that psychiatrists are lining up to overmedicate with
antipsychotics. Helped her parents see that trauma is the primary problem and lets
do some EMDR with me before she is placed on powerful antipsychotics.
As I ever so slowly heal from this, actually somehow insomnia is back with a
vengeance at month nine, I want to devote my life to making a difference keeping
people off of meds, or at least helping them make the most informed consent to this
often one way street.
Just venting as I am desperate have another healthy go at this thing called life.
Hijacked is a good word. I feel incredibly betrayed, used, and thrown out by the
medical establishment. It's cost me my career, my home, my car, my life
savings, and most recently, I couldn't even take care of my best friend so I lost
my beloved shepherd.
I'm still processing this. It's going to take a really long time to process this type
of life altering event. I see a system that's broken at the core. How else can you
explain keeping people on toxic medications that make them chronically sick?
Not just one doctor, but I've seen a dozen in three different states! Again, a
systematic failure.
I would think this experience would be a positive for you as a therapist after you
heal. Remember that withdrawal messes with your [...], so the way you see it
right now will NOT be how you see things after you heal. I'm trying to keep that
in [...] and letting myself "reconcile" with my circumstances slowly.
I'm reading statistics that show that people with the mental illness I have are
dying 15 - 25 years sooner and it makes me quite ill to think about, especially
considering my lengthy polydrugged history. I feel like a survivor after a plane
crash left dazed in the wilderness at night. But I'm alive. Other people with the
same diagnosis are not so lucky after 30 years. For this much, I am grateful. But
make no mistake, I'm pissed as hell about it.
But there will be plenty of time to sort it out. Best to make as few decisions
about your future right now and let good judgment come back as you heal.
That's the best advice I can offer. It also helps to reach out and try to help other
people. That gives you a since of control, especially when everything else is
completely out of your control.
I think the lack of control and the inability to think clearly gives an incredibly
distorted view of our situation. With time, we'll come out of this okay. Probably
even stronger than before.
Doctors talk to their clients as if dosages translate to plasma levels. There is a huge
[...], my heart aches for your pain.
variation ( there are a number of studies out thereIll try to post the citations when
I really just want to heal and start rebuilding a totally destroyed existence.
have time)
I just want to let youI know
that between individuals in this area. One huge factor is the genetic
even though I don't know
you,
variation
inIproduction of CYP2D6. This is the primary enzyme for metabolizing
firmly believe, from how you write,
most antipsychotics (and
Abilify).
I pushed
my sons GP to
Hi. very
No, Ispecifically
wouldn't wish
thisWhen
on anyone
either!
express yourself and treat others,
test hisill"
CYP2D6,
he responded that my sons liver enzymes were normal. The
that you are not "mentally
in a
I haven't gained a lot of weight except for the
serious, organic way.misconception
You are a
that a benzo
regularbelly.
liver enzyme
panel provides the information on specific
Maybe 10 pounds or so. It's
normal human being and a
enzymes is a disservice
to
those
on
antipsychotics.
The test for CYP2D6
uncomfortable, but as soon asIt Idoesnt.
can exercise
wonderful spirit. Like so many
again,
sure it (around
will come
off. last time I looked) and may
is a suffered
genetic CHIP
array.
It is I'm
expensive
$750.00
people, you've probably
a
boatload of pain at the
of
nothands
be covered
by insurance. In NJ where I live it cannot be done without a
Risperidone
10mg
1 dayI've had low blood sugar since I was 9 and my
others (maybe even
beginning
with
prescription (stupid law).
All
that
is required
the person
being
tested is a blood
diet
has
been
severelyfrom
restricted.
That's
really
Olanzapine
2.5mg-15mg
2 weeks
neglect and abuse in your earlier
the
only
reason
I
haven't
gained
weight
on
all
draw
or
cheek
swab.
Given
variations
between
individuals
is
huge,
the test should
life, although I can't
speak for6you,
Withdrawel
weeks + ongoing
of
these
drugs.
I
can
only
have
a
small
bebeen
mandatory
of course), and you've
furtherbefore anyone starts an antipsychotic. For Abilify (and many other
amount of sweets after having some protein.
abused by the inhumane
system
of
thethese
genetic
liver
will tell youand
whatcoffee
your actual level
of
Thedrugs),
effect of
neuroleptics,
like asay,
drug-induced-synaptic-roadblock.
It was
If Ienzyme
werewas
todetermination
have,
a doughnut
the western medical model. Please
drug
is. into
Further,
specifically
for Abilify,
of
its effect
from
active so
for breakfast,
I'd up
end60%
up in
the
ER. Also,
I'man cement,
as to
ifthe
the
route
my mind
was blocked
with
some
sort
ofismetallic
don't allow yourself
be labeled
very
limited
in
carbohydrates,
too.
Just
small
compared
to
before
the
medication
where
I
could
think
instantaneously
and dose,
metabolite
that may not even exist in a poor metabolized. Many things from
with a crapload of diagnoses
from
amounts
and
usually
just
a
night.
During
the
In
early
2011,
I
started
refusing
medication
at
the
hospital
after
3
years
of
suffering
an ever-expanding,
creatively,
corruptionafterprofile,
each dose
it
was
as
if there
was
cement
the route
myof and
side effects
time
toit
take
effect,
timeme.
to clear
the in
system,
andinto
timing
day,
really
drains
driven DSM that some
ignorant,
suicide
attempts
by
high
doses
antipsychotics.
I to
was
forced
toand
take
a low
thoughts
where
Icaused
could
slowly
go of
through
route
aone
thought
dosage
may be
highlyonly
impacted
based
on thethe
level
of this
enzyme.
Ifbetween
you
can
self-interested, bloated
windbag
dose
of
5mg
olanzapine
there
because
the
withdrawal
was
very
severe
and
I
wasnt
thoughts.
I
actually
was
having
some
hair
loss
before
have the
done you should. One of the investigations comparing dose to plasma
used in order to diagnose
you,test
then
my taper but
it's
coming During
back inthis
thick.
It'sI had pretty bad
sleeping.
I
took
the
5mgmetabolizers
olanzapine
for
6 months.
period
collect a salary and
vacation
on
level between rapid
(high
CYP2D6) and poor
metabolizers
(very low
also
coming
back
in
white
so
I
look
older
now.had
For
3 days
after
dose
effects
steadily
(as they
after
because
mylast
wasthe
used
to A
high
dosesdiminished
of these
sedatives.
I wasdone
barely
Martha's Vineyardinsomnia
or CYP2D6)
wherever
thethe
showed
abody
variation
of
30x.
reported
case
is
noted
somewhere
an
Oh well.as the psychiatrist said they would wear off,ofthe
each
dose).
Then,
unexpectedly
hell else (I don't live
in
the
US).
functional but I wrote most of my book and tried to keep busy. I gained 50-60 pounds
individual whose plasma level was 100X what the dose would normally produce.
effects
steadily
increased
and
have
to aincrease
since,
to the point
now,
too.
I had
1-2mg
tablets
of
Ativan
thatcontinued
I tookall
once
week
when
I needed
to catch
up6on
Yes,
Ipeople
think
we're
going
to
come
out
oftothis
These so-called "diagnoses"
How
often
are
have
no
you
heard
comment,
Im
very
sensitive
drugs
or
It
just
weeks In
since ingestion,
the
effects
are atcompassionate,
their
strongest (on
amany
percentage
stronger,
more
and
BB's scale,
when
my
insomnia
was improving,
I cut
my
olanzapine
down to
reflection on who sleep.
youdidnt
trulyOctober
are as
a2011,
seem
toingesting
do anything.
This
is sometimes
the
reason
for
those
responses.
where
just
after
the
last
dose
the
effects
were
at
100%,
the
effects
have
report
gaining
an
enormous
amount
of
insight
human being. Please
don't
let2the
2.5mg.
After
weeks of that
I stopped
taking it all
together. This was premature
testhuge
after on
thisdrug
experience.
user.
After this, we're going to
nowSimple
reached
1000%).impact
fools win.
because
Ed a few days into that my insomnia came back and I was forced to take 2.5mg
have super powers.
Respiridone is a terrible drug. I can't believe they still use it. I was on it when I was
seven years old. Yeah. Seven. That was thirteen years ago, I cannot believe they
still use that horrible drug.
Yohimbine bark is pretty well known as an aphrodisiac, as one person already
mentioned.
I might recommend 5-htp.
respiridone does have a very well documented negative impact on sex drives and
a feeling of "flatness." It sometimes takes a long time to dissipate. For me it was
almost two years before my mood really regained a measure of vibrancy and life
regained that sort of colour that it lost on respiridone. I encourage you to be
patient, mental illness or distress are not things one simply gets over, but
it does pass. That is my encouragement to you
Hi Im just wondering if your sex drive has returned? Im really worried about
this drug!! Im so worried Ive lost my sex drive permanently. I have read 15
or more posts on various sites about people who have permanently lost
their libidos even after stopping this medication. (answer, after 6 months
since original post about no libedo, was no, sex drive not returned)
Anti-psychotics are horrible drugs, I'd never recommend anyone to take them
under any circumstances. They don't treat psychosis, all they do is destroy
your ability to mentally function properly. The doctors can't legally kill you so
they just pump you full of so many antipsychotics that you're mentally dead.
won't say how much seroquel has fucked with his brain in the few years he has
been on and off it (always put on it in psych wards, but once he's out and on it
for a while he realizes why he took himself off it!) it has caused weird body
movements for him and makes his body feel restless 24/7, he use to think it
was anxiety, which is partially to blame, but even when not anxious it happens.
Also when he takes it, it fucks with his blood sugar and makes him agitated and
crave sweets, and it keeps him from experience almost ANY PLEASURE
WHATSOEVER. Thats all he has to say about it for now though, but he could go
ON AND ON AND ON about the horrible weird side-effects this drug has. And he
keeps seeing it get pushed on more and more people, even kids! It's honestly
disgusting. He doesn't even want to think about the horrible long-term side
effects seroquel specifically, but all anti-psychotics have. He has been on all
the atypical ones and can't say ANYTHING good about ANY of them
Did you even read what he wrote? He didn't threaten others he tried to kill himself
after stopping the use of marijuana and coffee..
Hello, drugs-forum! Here's my story. After a scandal with my mother I got
"One
day to
I decided
to quit
smoking
pot and drinking
coffe
(both of which I did to a
admitted
a hospital,
where
I was immediately
put on
aminazine.
rediculous
extent).
This
resulted
in
me
not
being
able
to
sleep
over a week
Naturally I'm a very calm person and always know better than for
to respond
and
a subsequent
nervous
breakdown
complete
with
possibly
to
provocations,
but
this time
I just failed.
So to cut
a delusions
long storyand
short
I've
hallucinations.
I ended
up 40
trying
to being
kill myself."
been
kept in the
ward for
days,
fed with haloperdiole,
aminazine, and even stelazine injections for 1 week, then two weeks of
I fully empathize
withof
what
he wrote
because
I too
experienced
the Iloss
of all
resperdal
and 1 shot
resperdal
consta.
I knew
I was
f*cked when
woke
those
heand
mentioned.
He ismake
so upset
thatbeause
he has of
been
up
onefeelings
morning
just couldn't
my bed
the zombified
lack of theby
antipsychotics
that
it truly
is sane
throw psychiatrist
criminals
in prison for
willpower. During
the
first few
daystoI wondered
why so many
people
pushing
big
pharma
chemical
lobotomy
drugs
like
antipsychotics.
didn't do it, It's such an easy thing to do. So the thing is, when I finally
got home, besides obvious changes in body health (gained 10+ kg,
How
canfatigue
you block
receptors
dopamine
pathway
and destroy
theinreward
muscle
weakness,
lossinofthe
libido)
I noticed
some small
changes
system
in
the
brain
and
call
this
a
treatment?
Just
because
it
makes
someone a
perception. First of all, everything seemed a slightest bit different, I didn't
sedated,
compliant
zombie
doesn't
mean
it's
good.
get that warm feeling of coming back home. Secondly, I've lost all my
motivation to make things look nice and clean. I no longer clean my
This truly
is criminal.
Taking
away
someone's
and energy as
room,
wash
the dishes
and that
sort
of things.feelings,
I've lost emotions
all apprehension
wellmusic,
as creativity
andaturning
them fan,
into have
a lifeless
zombie
should not go
for
and I was
great music
a $1000+
audio-system,
unpunished.
music
always changed my mood in one or another way, no it's just some
background noise for me. I was also keen on fashion, had a taste in
Unfortunately
live
in ahave
world
where
FDA
their own
clothing, now Iwe
just
don't
the
desire
to board
check members
the blogs have
and buy
pockets
to
defend
and
allow
such
harmful
poisons
on
the
market.
Did you know
anything new. Moreover, I've started just sleeping in my clothes, because
that
schizophrenics
in
3rd
world
countries
have
better
recovery
outcomes
than n
I've become too lazy or don't really care how I look. I don't enjoy sunny
America?
And
they're
not
even
treated
with
such
drugs.
I
wonder
why
that
is.
wheather anymore, don't even want to leave the house. Don't feel the
freshness outside, don't enjoy the green grass and birds singing. It's like
my perception has been slightly changed and I can't percept things the
way I could. I've also lost the ability to experience any emotions,
sometimes I just don't care to respond to people, even my parents, cos I
don't feel anything. My mom said like 1000 times that she's sorry, she's
constantly crying, and I just don't feel anything and don't care to calm
her down. I remember my old self, a funny outgoing guy, remember my
I was forced to take similar meds as a kid (zyprexa) for at least two years. Once I
hobbies, the series I've watched, I play my favourite music, and I feel
stopped I felt like I would never be normal again. After about 4 to 6 months I
nothing. My head is constntly empty and there is no single thought in it.
finally started to feel ok again. After about a year or so I started to feel like my
All I really want to do is sleep, because I've started to see these vivid
pre med self. It takes longer than you want it to but to, but it is what it is.
dreams with my old friends which are actually better than this blank grey
reality. So I just wanted to ask whether these effects go away and you
come back to your old self or this is permanent and is a result of
treatment? I've been off the drugs for 40 days, the shot of consta was 8
weeks ago. The thing is I don't really see the point in iving a life like a
vegetable, without the ability to enjoy things and with the sense of
accomplishment lost. To me it's a neverending nightmare.
Anti psychotics are highly damaging full stop and should only be used as a
very last resort .People can and do recover from psychosis with out
medications.If your computer was malfunctioning you wouldnt open it up
and smash one of the chips inside or pore acid all over it in the hope that it
would fix the problem.To go to a doctor for help.to a doctor that has
swore an oath to do no harm and to be given a substance that destroys
your brain is simply wrong.Especially so if the problem is software related.
How our society and the medical profession allows this to continue in this
day and age is beyond my comprehension
I think the only hope we have is for a comet to hit the earth and blow the
human race into oblivion
I can relate.
Yeah I won't comment on the pot thing as that's really not the issue.
My anhedonia set in shortly after commencing anti-psychotics too. For a long while I was
non-compliant with my meds because of the fear that they were causing these troubles.
My dx is drug induced psychosis so it definitely doesn't relate to anything on the
schizophrenia spectrum like negative symptoms. I find I can't seem to feel pleasure in
anything - TV, movies, music, conversations and even just cigarette smoking or alcohol.
This seems to be a most steadfastly stubborn feeling that is impossible to shake off. All
day, everyday am just a emotionless zombie. Actually scratch that, I DO have emotionsjust the bad ones like fear and anxiety.
I have convinced myself that this is caused by the meds. My psychiatrist advised that it is
possible for the meds to make people feel this way but I don't know if he actually
understood the severity of it. I have been given an anti-depressant but that doesn't seem
to help either.
I hope that these symptoms start to fade for you now that you are no longer on the meds.
I would expect that it may take a while for the brain to re-adjust to the state it was in
before medication??? Please update this thread if there is any improvement - I would like
to have some hope that this God-awful nothingness will pass once I'm off the meds.
Hi Narshe (and also jjanson). We're in a pretty similar boat in terms of experience, and I agree with most of what you're saying.
I had a psychotic episode last December, and in January 2013 I was given the normal starting routine for Invega Sustenna - 1 234mg shot
(1/7/2013) followed 1 week later by a 156mg shot (1/14/2013). This was the worst thing that has ever happened to me - bar nothing. Not the
episode! That was bizarre, to be sure, and I'm worried about my medical condition.... but it's the drug that was so horrifying and destructive. I
was dying to find the same information you're seeking Narshe and jjasonn, earlier this year, and I still am. All I can report is from my
experience in the last 11 months and my research of the drug label and articles I could find online. I have learned some things. I never got
another shot after 1/14/2013. That was against the recommendation of my doctor. We'll see how it turns out. Taking this torture as a
precautionary measure, when it's far far worse than delusions themselves? That calculus didn't make sense to me. I hope I'm right. For one
thing, it's absoultely clear that my doctor did not grasp the potency of this drug.
Here's the bottom line Narshe: it has been 11 months. I'm still messed up from the drug, but it has improved dramatically over time. I would say
I was devastated through July (6 months out), transitioned from devastated to "heavily impaired" from July to October (9 months out), and since
November I've been "impaired" (11 months out). I'm plenty messed up now, with cognitve issues, sexual function issues, anhedonia etc., but its
nothing next to the hell I was in in February. Each month I can notice significant improvement in my cognitive function, my mood, and emotional
sensation ... my sexual interest and testicular function, twitching, weight gain (20 lbs), dizziness upon standing, restlessness, inability to think or
focus or engage watching tv, listening to music or playing games; difficulty conversing, feeling pleasure and being generally in perpetual deep
boredom, having no motivation at all. My only experience with feelings as low as suicidal ones, in my entire life, was in January-February. That
has certainly passed. Some of the effects in that incomplete list went away before others. And I didn't feel that great or aware about my
improvements each months until after about 6 months. At the very beginning I was urinating every 30 minutes and couldn't move my face.
Most of the list was ongoing after two months. Anyway, I didn't feel like I was appreciably improved until around September - so that's 8
months later before I personally felt any real hope of recovery. I hope knowledge of that date helps you. This (11 months) is the first month
where I feel I can "pass for normal" to an average person. They might think I'm tired, but would never think I'm way off/drugged, even if they
know me, actually. I can still tell I'm messed up, of course. But I can also tell that I've gotten a lot of abilities back. It's very exciting actually. I
also lost the 20 lbs I gained from the drug through vigorous exercise from July to September. (recommended) I still have many of the same
feelings you have: I'm hoping I'll improve all the way, maybe 90% or something, maybe more. And I'm very worried about the permanent
effects. I'm personally very focused on the cognitive effects, but I'm also wondering if my tongue will stop twitching when I stick it out and so
on. Thinking was the name of my game, 24/7, and it was just snatched away. But I can tell you that you won't remain devastated forever; that it
at least improves to "impaired". And in 6 months maybe I'll be able to tell you that you'll improve all the way or almost all the way. Also, DO
NOT be discouraged by people telling you that you're exaggerating, that there is nothing wrong, or that they can't tell (which may be true); that
your complaints are actually of the condition and not the drug, etc. These people have no idea what they're talking about. I have a supportive
and attentive girlfriend, who was able to see many of the subtle things (to an outside observer) of which I complained. That was very helpful to
me. My father on the other hand, thinks this has all been exaggeration and a hypchondriac's prattle. So I had to deal with that and it's tough.
The drug is devastating for real; don't be BSed out of knowing that.
My diagnosis was psychosis NOS (not otherwise specified). That basically means I didn't get a "real" diagnosis cause they weren't sure what I
had / had happened. My psychosis consisted entirely of paranoid delusions and it lasted about 45 days - I had no hallucinations, no difficulty
thinking (delusional belief formation aside), etc - I definitely had paranoid delusions though. I also separately have depression and high anxiety.
I normally take no medications of any kind and I never do any drugs, including alcohol, with the sole exception that I sometimes smoke
tobacco. I'm a physicist with advanced degrees and I went to/ worked at some of the very top schools in the country. That's diagnostically
relevant, but I'm also hoping to get a cred. boost. I'm 29 years old. I still am trying to figure out what my underlying diagnosis is... bipolar
perhaps? I don't think I have schizophrenia, but I'm not certain. Statistically, it would be a late onset. I really just don't know, and neither did
my doctor(s). But I was told to continue taking antipsychotics just in case I was schizophrenic and I disregarded that advice. I recovered
"100%" from my psychotic delusions in late January, which I was told is rare. So far I've had no recurrence of any psychotic symptoms.
As far as I could find, there is nothing that can be done to speed the removal of the drug from your body. I suspect that obesity makes the drug
last longer as it gets stored in fat, but that's a bit of a guess. My intuition says drink a lot of water and exercise if you want to try and speed up
the removal. According to the label for Invega sustenna, enzyme CYP3A4 might be important for eliminating paliperidone. It says that if you
take an inducer of CYP3A4 you may need a higher dose for paliperidone to be effective. It later claims that this result is contradicted by other
studies, so its unclear. You could try to induce that enzyme. Capsaicin is the only food I found online to induce that enzyme. I never tried it,
and I certainly didn't want to take another drug for this purpose, but I wouldnt mind spicy food. Kind of an aside I guess, but it might be worth
trying. St. John's wort is a major inducer as well, but its a drug.
After the amount of time I've been off the drug (better put - since last injection), I'm not sure anymore if I'm still heavily drugged, or rather if my
brain chemistry hasn't normalized (or if there is permanent and irreversible damage). A bit of both I expect (or all three). But FYI the half life for
a 234 mg dose is 49 days. My dose was essentially 400mg in some sense. Your dose (naively at least) is 100 mg plus what was left over
before that; probably another 200 mg or so. So permanent damage from duration of use aside, we probably quit from similar dose amounts.
Since the half-life decreases with quantity, using 49 days should give you conservative estimates of the amount of palmitate left. I remember
finding 15mg to be the best conservative estimate of my equivalent oral daily dose at injection time. SO, 2 months later, its about 7.5 mg/day
and so on. I'm not sure how useful or accurate this method is though because it doesn't align with my experience that well. One thing to keep
in mind is that 49 days is a median. That means for some people they still had 85% after 49 days. I found something a while back that had
actual raw data and the variance was very high. I personally set my expectation at double the median to be very conservative. With the time of
"brain recovery" though, I mean... this is pretty much guess-work. The main thing is the my personal "raw data" - which is that I know how I
feel. And you do get better over time. I would be interested in getting a blood test to see how much drug is still in me (and how much
prolactin), but I never did that. You could consider that if you were very curious. Another kind of raw data.
Last time we pm'd he was still experiencing the post-effects (about a month ago). As for
the success stories, well after almost a year I feel ok, really. I can't say that it is 'my old
self' back because I don't exactly remember my pre-med world perception and
concioussness, most likely it isn't. But again the state when you are bothered by it
(what's worse - bothered by it every second you are awake) is completely gone. But I
enjoy music, series, cinema, reading, studying, working out again to a certain extent, I
can wake up at 6 am again to get shit done and remain motivated through the day. My
aesthetical perceptions are kinda back. I distinguish kinds of music again, it's not that
sharp perception of greatness within and association with a tune, but at least I can say
that I like and enjoy something and produce an emotional response (again maybe not
as strong as it used to be). But I can honestly say that if anytime in my future life I'll face
ANYONE violently forcing this type of medication on me for WHATEVER reason I'll
coldheartedly murder that person and do time in prison instead. For a
thinking/creative/emotional person, in fact for anyone with a healthy ego and a sense of
Self, the experience is nightmarish, crippling and torturing. People who take the stuff
willingly probably deserve what's coming to them. People who are being force-fed this
stuff should grow a pair and seriously reconsider their attitude to authority,
independence and life in general. The parents force you - some parents emotionallly
cripple their children while thinking they are doing the right thing for them, remember
that. They don't always know what's right for you even though they are your parents and
have lived longer than you. They can't feel what you feel and very often they don't
bother thinking for themselves. The doctors tell you - after dealing with 4 different pdocs
while/shortly after treatment, I'd rather do what a Nazi officer would tell me to than
listening to the crap they told me. The major part of the idustry/profession is probably
further from the words "ethics" and "human" than any other form of exploitation,
compulsion and coercion. I can only wish anyone who is still experiencing the posteffects to keep strong, work out, excercise your brain and remember that in a year you'll
most likely feel at peace with yourself again, will be able to be productive and be
capable of achievemnt, experiencing emotions, empathy and enjoy the gift of life
through a normally functioning brain.
In an attempt to find a solution to reversing the damage in my case I've talked to I think
10-15 people who suffered the same symptoms after discontinuing the drugs (anything
from Haldol to Zyprexa and Risperdal). The doctors, who've never took these drugs, just
don't know their long-term effects, so consulting a pdoc won't help (I've talked to 2 of
them, both were in denial). The half-life of the drug doesn't matter. The changes in brain
chemistry/neuron activity caused by the drug molecules binding to neurons matter, but
nobody can say to what extent these are reversible or what changes are to blame for
particular side-effects (e.g. favourite music sounding "flat", even unpleasant)
jjassonn, on 15 Jul 2013 - 6:53 PM, said:
It was most certainly the medication which caused the effects in my case. All the effects surfaced exactly
when I started taking the medication. And not a single one of the effects has waned in over six weeks
since stopping. I'm still sexually dysfunctional, i still have mild akathisia, music still doesn't do anything
for me, I'm still unable to read anything complex or follow plots, my brain still feels highly fucked, etc.
I'm thinking about trying shrooms or LSD in an attempt to... I don't know.
But I have zero faith the effects will ever go away.
Most people say it takes from several months to a year for these side-effects to subside.
It's most likely a single dose of LSD won't help, just as a single dose of any drug.
Moreover, in such a fucked up state LSD, just like weed, simply won't give you any
pleasurable effects. I was out of the hospital early in April and until now I was virtually
suicidal each day because of the effects you are experiencing now. In my case working
out (jogging) has helped a bit, although during the first months the muscle pain (caused
by muscle deterioration during the AP use) and lack of motivation allowed me to work out
no more than 2 times a week. As for the meds, I'm on the following cocktail (designed
after extensive web search on the topic); noopept , mirapex (pramipexole), Emoxypine
(mexidol), SWJ, Rhodiola rosea extract. Looking into trying bromocriptine. AD's don't
do any good at all, due to several reports. Actually not sure these meds do any good or
it's just time, but at least I don't feel so shitty as a month ago. Though esthetic
comprehension and music comprehension are def not back. Hang on there, you are the
fourth person I know who is in such a state right now (most have been off meds from 3 to
6 months), so don't hesitate to pm me in a few months and I'll tell you to what extent it
gets better.
(Someone questions whether the effects as they describe them are the reality, yes when
men describe effects, they are always the reality)
In perfect correlation with an enormously powerful medication known to cause, albeit
rarely, all of the symptoms I've experienced, I experienced, for the first time ever, very
significant anhedonia/loss of musical pleasure, significant loss of sexual functioning, loss
of memory both long term and short, stunted intelligence, loss of vocabulary, ceaseless
akathisia (slightly unusual akathisia in that walking and moving around doesn't help very
much), and just a terrible highly, highly, highly altered feeling in my brain that I very much
hate, which seems to make me very uncomfortable socially.
All of that reasoning is irrelevant though. I simply and plainly know beyond any doubt that
the medication was the cause of the mind-fucking side effects.
lapd, did the people who say they've recovered after several months to a year recover
fully, or basically fully at least, or is life merely now tolerable for them?
edit: also, when people who haven't experienced this hear "anhedonia", they just have to
assume normal run of the mill anhedonia, e.g. depression-based anhedonia. I've been
depressed, and I know common anhedonia. Antipsychotic-induced antipsychotics is
intensely hardcore, like all the side effects. Try to imagine being the very opposite of high
(marijuana) permanently. That what it's like.
Most say that they completely recovered after 1 year, though I've read 3 reports that even
after a year they still didn't get their "old self's" back. Even for those who report complete
recovery it might be just them getting used to the new state of mind and forgetting their
old-self. As for tolerable - in my case it became tolerable (or I think so) only after 3.5
months after I ate the last pill. Basically until this week I felt almost suicidal and lay in bed
all weekends. But I def notice that something is starting to come back. Excercising really
helps, as well as the meds I've mentioned, I guess. I'm also extremely concerned with the
loss of musical pleasure, I feel you there.
I am an artist and used to be motivated, happy, and outgoing. Soon after having started
antipsychotics I noticed I have lost my creativity and find it difficult to concentrate on anything.
Everything became worthless and I have no willpower or motivation to do anything. I wasn't
like this at all before I started antipsychotics. I sure had some minor delusions and they are
gone now. I don't even think it was the medication that got rid of it too, I felt like I just figured
out that the ideas were crazy on my own.
The medication took everything from me. I can no longer function and I cannot find joy or
pleasure from anything. I have lost my job and just spending my days feeling like dead inside
with constant feeling of despair and anxiousness. All I can think about is how much longer do
I have to feel like this and fear that it is permanent. I have read many posts from many
different people about antipsychotics and found only bad news about it. Many people don't
recover after a year of stopping the medication. Many reported permanent side effects of the
med years after stopping.
The reason I am so obsessed about getting high off weed is because I use it as my marker
for recovery. I figure the day I can get high again would mean that my brain has recovered. So
far I haven't noticed ANY improvements after having been off the med for a month now. I am
scared to death that my dopamine and serotonin receptors or my mesolimbic pathway are
permanently damaged.
How can this sort of medication be prescribed like this? They even prescribe it to children. I
don't think it's right. This med does more harm than good in my opinion. I understand that it
may have helped some people, but I figure the symptoms of the illness has to be really
severe to the point that the person cannot function without the med to warrant the use of
antipsychotics. I personally think the maker of the drugs have intentionally failed to report all
the side effects of the med and just want to get as much profit from it as possible.
What if I have to live like this forever? I have been seriously contemplating suicide. I don't
want to live like this.
-Forgot to add: I was given 100mg of Paliperidone injection every month for a year. They are
LAI (Long-Acting Injections) and they last for a month. The last shot I got was beginning of
September.
All I want is my old brain back. With or without the psychosis, I don't care. I just want to be
able to function and enjoy life again. I wonder if my dosage of 100mg per month would be
considered high and the time I was on it has been too long? Most people I have read has
been on such low dosages I wonder why I was put on 100mg.
I have been on risperidone for a couple month and I know what are you talking about. And I talked to
some people who were treated with antipsychotics as well, they also have such condition. It's not that
common and psychiatrists will rather believe that you exhibit negative symptoms, but it's not true.
Negative symptoms can't just appear out of nowhere in several months, they take years to be
apparent.
I also have or had trouble concentrating and thinking, I felt detached from people, emotinally flattened
and coulnd't feel a conversation. My voice seemed to be dull and I had no motivation to participate in
my usual activities or do what I usual enjoy. It didn't feel interesting or exciting anymore, it became a
burden. I had trouble reading or following a plot or even remembering my last year. I was physically
and mentally slow. Didn't enjoy music or Internet browsing. Just sat and watched TV without any
particular interest. But I can't say I had no emotions at all, I always felt uneasy and anxious about
something. It occupied my mind. So I just didn't pay attention to everything excluding my physical
state, and I felt tired and weak.
After I came off risperidone, though, I felt better. Not only physically, anxiety left me and in time I
started to get spontaneous memories and urges to do something. But it wasn't easy. I could barely
read and had a hard time following the plot. Conversations still made me bored and I had no interest
in learning new things. Things and places that were well-known to me now didn't trigger emotions at
alll. But that's not all. Sometimes I felt like my perception is slightly altered, like something isn't right.
Everything is the same as it should be, but also isn't. Sometimes I felt like I was in a half-asleep state.
It is similar to when you think about something so intensely you barely notice something, but the
difference is you aren't thinking at all. In fact, I wasn't thinking quite frequently, I just stared into space
for some time without any emotion or desire.
After week or two after stopping risperidone I finally fell into the strangest and most deep depression
I've ever been. All I felt was strong dysphoria, I couldn't experience any pleasure at all. Suicide
thoughts and everything I've described and also strange restlessness. But it has ended, I think. Right
now month has passed since I stopped taking any medications and I feel a bit better. I can enjoy
reading and having a conversation, my ability to concentrate and recall things is returning slowly. And
so should yours.
I talked to some people who's been or still on neuroleptics. Most of them say everything should return
to normal in several months, though some say it may be permament. Interesting that one of them is a
schizophrenic taking Abilify. Right now he is feeling better than before, though he had similar
symptoms when on another antipsychotics.
It is unusual that there is not much information about such side effects. Apparently, most people don't
experience them. However, there are some who do. I have found something that may prove that. This
pdf shows complains in percentage, for example. I've noticed you are registered on drugs-forum,
there are some stories about such side-effects as well. There are more in the Internet. So you're not
having a negative symptoms. But no one knows when what you're feeling will pass.
Have been on various APs (including Resperdal) for 3 months, definitely can relate to all
the symptoms described here. It's been 1.5 months since I quit the APs but I still don't
feel any better. Constantly feel that my preception is slightly changed, can't get the
feelings from listening to music that I used to have. Really prefer to lie in bad or sleep on
weekends, low sex drive. I hope it goes away in a couple of months or a year maximum,
though It might be permanent.
Another thing I've noticed is that I can't even get high anymore. Well, I can, but the feeling
is nowhere near what I used to experience.
-Actually I used both and I can assure you that no amount of weed smoked during several
years can fuck you up as bed as few months on something like resperidone. That is my
personal experience.
I was on geodon for four months. I've now been off it for two
was indeed - Paliperidone, Invega Sustenna extended-release, and thus far,
weeks. I stillThe
feelinjection
very affected.
note the extreme effects in terms of thinking rate, ability for creative thought, and the
general ember that is held within. I'm unable to comprehend information and process in
How much should
my brain recover, and how long should it take
the same usual way before. From a positive perspective, I'm still able to answer
before I see significant results?
questions from within my exam interface, which holds a promising indication for my
future. It's been more than 6 weeks now since my injection, and I still feel as if this
-harrowing compound, is still actively binding to an entire series of receptors. I was going
to use the performance of tests tests to gauge my mental acuity of this drug-induced
I'm not talking about symptoms of psychosis. I've been severely depressed, moderately
synaptic road-block. I used to experience muscle twitching when I would read, speak or
depressed, empty;
I knowindepression
well, andand
I'mattributed
not depessef.
of this and
is related
engage
complex thoughts,
this toNone
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mental genius.
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only and exactly Iwhen
was put realize
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allreceptor
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to effects, and am
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many others who've
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things
started popping
reading this article, I've become concerned with the irreversible effects of the 5HT-7
receptor,I've
andhad
it'sreally
impact
onanhedonia
daily performance.
I've contemplated
adding an attorney for
Since being on geodon,
bad
(not shocking
since it blocks
this case, and have actually submitted claim towards a Risperdal Firm that delt with
dopamine and serotonin), akathisia, trouble speaking well, stunted intelligence, and it
damage effects. A collection of side-effects are global, negative implication on memory
just feels like my brain is being internally squeezed pretty hard constantly. It's
and functioning, and a decrease in ability to think in terms of paced, logical thinking. I'm
uncomfortable, it feels bad and weird, and it makes me feel very awkward and unskilled
making appointments with a neurologist to understand the damage that has been
socially. For the past
few months I've literally struggled to be alive, desperately trying to
caused.
findth ways to pass the time, waiting for bed time.
28 March 2012
5-HT
receptors
(KiPart
= 420nM)
The symptoms are maybe
10% serotonin
better since
stopping.
of the reason I've done
My name is Christopher, now 1A21, and I'm the world's youngest Google AdWords
[25]
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serotonin
receptors
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= 100nM)
absolutely
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if businesses.
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forkill
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was
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in terms of brain.
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(Ki = 26nM)
my carrer, connections,
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and inner-person.
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[26]
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my
State
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me maybe
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My sexual functioning has
decreased
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and sent
it's only
7 irreversible
an
psychiatric
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where
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better after
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1 adrenergic
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.....I'm just a really pessimistic
person who
seems(Ki
to=have
rational reason to
This injection has ruined
my
life.
My
near
perfect
memory,
mental vividness, and
I'm making
appointments
with
a neurologist
to and
understand
the damage that has been
I've ordered Noonpept,
Cerebrolysin,
Amino
Acid
compounds,
other varying
caused,
and
have
thought
of
ordering
the
Emotive
Headset,
nootropics to restore my mind before this injection. Any suggestive commentsResearch Editing to motive
mymeaning.
brainwaves while complete common activities.
would have diving
August 2012
Hypothermic, I'm in the same boat as you, I was forcibly given invega sustenna
(paliperidone) and it's been 5 months now and I still am noticing effects. For the
first two months I would basically sleep all day. Now I'm awake during the day
but am noticing that my baseline isn't the same, I have this slight headache all
the time, and I've noticed that dopamine-based stimulants for ADHD (which I
have) have completely stopped working (dexedrine, ritalin). No matter much
much dexedrine I take, all I feel are slight physical effects, the mental effects
are _GONE_. I'm also depressed and have lost the will to live.
28th March 2012
Cerebrolysin from DP (3 packages, 10mL)
Noopept
ALCAR
GPC Choline
Magnesium L-Threonate
Notes:
I'm be taking videos, and progress notes
of my therapy. I'll update more contact to
this post or create a new one once my
drugs arrive. I'll also indicate the tasks
that I'm active in, how it effects studying,
and will also begin a moderate workout
protocool to increase overall effects.
Suggestions of supplements would be
grand. I was given anti-psychotics
(Paliperidone Palmitate) injections
[Antipsychotic Medication] for an incorrect
diagnoses of schizophrenia which have
Dear forum,
I was hospitalized under involentary conditions for a psychiatric treatment of miscellaneous reasons, which was
classified as "bi-polar" and was given Invega Sustenna, 254mg. From my research, it affects a wide-arrange of
receptor classes including, and am interested in reviewing the effects of this horrifying neurotoxin. I'm unsure how to
place these Ki numbers in perspective to evaluate how powerful this specific neuroleptic is. Apparently, it has the
ability from stopping schizophrenic patients from experience auditory and visual hallucinations.
Lack of interest
Slowed thought
Drooling
Slurred speech
Slowed speech
Inability to communicate
Concentration problems
Headaches
Perplexing dreams
Memory loss
Recall problems
Auditory buzzing
Information about myself - I am the world's youngest Google AdWords Professional and Honors student, and was on
the verge of a new product or service that could have been employed in a global marketplace. I experienced a
double helix and the hydrocarbon, the benezene ring, which were 3-dimensional images that I could enlarge, rotate,
and examine in my mind's eye and visionary field. I'm an active reader in scientific journals and research, so I felt that
my visions were ground-breaking, even though these discoveries were already made, I felt these personal insights
were profound in terms of my academic and personal insights on reality. I would enjoy reading and exploring the
inner-fractals of the mind, a journey of the synapses, and a passage of higher dimensional space.
From the pharmacokenics literature that I've reviewed, it appears that it takes between 49-105 days for the
metabolites and enzymatic breakdown occur. As comment of myself, I'm an accepted Honor's student at my State
University, I was spending time within the computer science department, networking with professionals, and forming
the business contacts that I needed. So far, I have note noted a return of my ability, am concerned when this ability to
return to normal functioning. From my learnings, it appears that Paliperidone effects both dopamine and serotonin,
the two main neurotransmitters in cellular communication. I experience a loss of interest and desire to complete tasks
that I once enjoyed. I would read a book for hours and get lost in text, searching for new ideas and books to explore;
often finishing a book in 1-3 days without problem, retaining 75%-85% of the information of the information was new,
and analyzing the information from varying perspective if I had previous knowledge on the subject. Racing thoughts
were acceptable as I would contain them, and thought of them as nothing more then normal thought patters and
desirable neural activity happening within my mind.
I'm in the process of making appointments with a neurologist and psychopharmacologist, to see how my neurological
brain levels can be re-balanced after this traumatic inoculation. If anyone could give me information on when this
medication will ware off as I would enjoy the previous state before this injection so thatI may continue to explore the
There were studies that indicated that they injected more than 30mL via IV for 20 days to
see a restoration of memory problems from the the use of Risperidone.
Reference: http://anp.sagepub.c...t/46/2/153.full
[cerebrolysin effects memory function. People given cerebrolysin showed significantly greater
improvements in cognitive and memory function from week 2 out of 4 week test period.]
Once I obtain clients from my practice, I have no problem submitting samples of
Cerebrolysin and Cerebroprotein Hydrolysate for analysis.
Posted 23 June 2014 - 02:53 AM
In case anyone else is wondering, I've PM'ed Hypothermic to see if he/she can tell us
more about what happened if anything.
What a said story, what wasite. Resperdal doesnt bind to D2 receptors it blocks cellular
I feel a lot better. I uptake
overreacted
when writing
Never felt better.
and transport
from this.
the extracellurlar
matrix, there are werid specificties and the
peptide it binds to does complex with many proteins like adenosine, d2,nmda and a
large host of other. antiphycotics are designed to poison in my opinion, causing
catatontia, sigma-2 is the protein that was blocked and therefore agonist are the way to
go in my opinion modafinil,tumeric and lots of
exercise http://www.endocytosis.org/Adaptors/
I think i remeber saying you were given burponion this is a sigma-2 agonist but maybe
have sigma-2 antagonist aswell because its not in it functional state of binding.
Ibogaine maybe the best bet (African plant root part which used successfully to treat
drug addtiction).
I just want to say that the brain will indeed go back to the way it was as long as you stay
the course. After my withdrawal from all drugs my brain was healing last year and it
actually reset in a phenomenal way. Most if not all can recover from drugs even the
most poisonous if you stay away from negativity and try to do what is right in life. I am
telling you this as my sex drive did come back literally 100% at a point last year but later
actions left me in a state I'm trying to get out of right now. Our faith is definitely tested
when things are not looking so bright. Please don't give in to negativity and you will
come out on top. Pray for help and don't ever give up hope if you are not fully recovered
yet. It is attainable as I have truly recovered fully at a point in time. I later developed a
strange food allergy to gluten from side effects of another drug withdrawal. Otherwise I
would be fully recovered right now. I wish I didn't post this thread b/c I was actually
healing when i initially posted it years ago just at a slower pace than I would have liked.
It led me to my own negative spiral b/c of negative reinforcement from others. Else I
wouldn't have lost these past 3 years either. Yes these drugs are very harmful but yes
again it is possible to make a 100% recovery. Drugs are definitely a crap shoot but life
doesn't have to be.
pz~chelated
I'm 1 year 4 months out and its hard to stay positive sometimes.
Mine was 12mg, when I was given Invega Sustenna. I'm not sure how potent this
medication is but I feel mentally declined from an invalid injections.
You know you're own body best, expecially when the results of what you're taking are
producing negative effects. I would be in your same situation, except with a different
problem, but decided to stop taking (yes Risperdal), and thankfully I've done it before
its too late. I don't know why things are given to support one part of the body but
damage others, as a whole nothing is accomplished and the cycle just continues.
Medicines should benefit the whole being and not damage one part. Hopefully, better
ways to cure via better medicines will occur in the future, and hopefully individuals will
take more responsibility for what they put in themselves, as well as doctors more
responsibility for human value instead of just doing things the ordered way for the
money.
I took risperdal for a misdiagnosed condition as well. Not having been explained the
mechanism or the effects of the drug I took it without too many questions.
Basically it left me fat, sexless, apathetic, depressed and increased the glandular
tissue underneath my nipples (bitch tits). This, although I've stopped taking it now
for quite some time, stays with me.
Prescribing risperdal as an anti-psychotic to a male is in my mind malpractice and
medically negligent. I wonder how the company sweetens the prescriptions.
I took Risperdal too, for maybe a month. I quit it because it made me feel very weak and
somewhat tired, in addition to increasing my tendency to gain weight. (It may have had
some sexual effects too, but who cares about such nonsense? Sex is nothing but an
annoying distraction, and I don't need that on top of my ADHD.)
Quote
Prescribing risperdal as an anti-psychotic to a male is in my mind malpractice and medically negligent. I
wonder how the company sweetens the prescriptions.
In fact, it's standard practice. One might perhaps say, "No-one got fired for buying IBM,
and no-one got fired for prescribing Risperdal." The same goes for SSRIs. (Side note:
the combination of Risperdal and SSRIs is particularly bad as far as hyperprolactinaemia
- and hence sexual dysfunction - is concerned as they have additive effects on prolactin
production.)
I don't think it destroys dopamine receptors, since that would be illogical and contrary to
the fact that dopamine antagonists tend to *upregulate* dopamine receptors. Rather, I
suspect that risperidone may induce some kind of dysregulation of the serotonindopamine relationship. Some serotonin receptors are responsible for serious antidopaminergic effects. The serotonin 5-HT2A and 5-HT2C receptors are of particular
interest. Anyone with a post-Risperdal syndrome may wish to experiment with
cyproheptadine (Periactin) - a 5-HT2A antagonist, and sertindole (Serdolect) - a
serotonin 5-HT2C inverse agonist. Agomelatine, SB-243213 or SB-206553 may be
preferable to sertindole, but unfortunately, they are much harder to find, and the SBcompounds have not necessarily been adequately tested. Ritanserin may be an
alternative which should be cheaper and more adequately tested - it covers both 5-HT2A
and 5-HT2C. (Side note: On the other hand, blockade of 5-HT2A may not entirely
beneficial with regard to cognitive function.)
By the way, anyone knows how to source the above compounds at reasonable prices?
I've only seen ridiculous offers for about 10 mg at a few hundred dollars.
Hey guys,
My knowledge on this subject
is very limited.
(memory+cognition
Maybe someone can hindered
lead me by anti-psychotics)
Posted 23 January 2015 - 06:32 PM
in the right direction.
Thank you very much, in the next few days I will try to take D-aspartic acid, NThis may be farfetched, so
acetyl cysteine, and if I find it too sarcosine. I will write an update as soon as
bare with me.
possible.
Question - Is it possible for
kava kava to have an effect on
the
opposite sex? ie. Attraction
I began reading about some of
the kavalactones
In kava after having an
experience out in public.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CYP1A2
(CYP1A2 enzyme said to metabolize
olanzapine/antipsychotics. Substrates listed on
wikipedia include: some anti-psychotics including
olanzapine, clozapine, haloperidol. Google define
2. substrate: the substance on which an enzyme
acts)
My story is I took injections of Olanzapine for 6 months, I felt foggier and foggier during this time, like my brain
was burned from the inside out.
I stopped taking any form of anti psychotic 11 months ago, and here is a list of how I feel now compared to
before 'treatment':
- Every night I have nightmares
- I never feel rested
- I have no motivation
- I have no ability to multitask, plan 'ahead', organize my life
- My body feels drained and permanently erased
- I always have fright of sound, and I cant stand bright light
- I wear hearing protection all the time
- I can't read because I can't focus
- All my interests are erased
- Typing on a keyboard is markedly slower and I misspell more frequently
- I 'lose thoughts' all the time, even when I think "when I finish writing this sentence the next will be..." and it's
gone
- My sense of taste is changed, everything tastes bland and diluted
- Coffee tastes like water, and ciggarettes like air with 'dirt' in it, my brain does not process any reward from
caffeine or nicotine
- I lose words, I struggle to express myself in writing because my active vocabulary is very much fewer words
(<= example of it being hard to express things because words are gone)
- I never become sleepy, I go to sleep because of exhaustion from living in a tortured state, and then it's back into
a very light sleep with the worst nightmares imaginable
- Everything is foggy, gray, tasteless, and nothing gives me stimulation, literally no task
- I am not depressed but since nothing I do gives any form of reward or stimulation I have to just sit and stare or
lie with my eyes closed until I'm to exausted to be awake
- My body has become like dough, that was how it felt progressievely during the injections, like my body was
disssolved more and more and never came back
- I am always resteless, never at peace, and yet I have 0 ability to focus, or drive to do things
- All memories of my upbringing have become corrupted somehow, I can't relate back to my childhood, which
was so complete and the best
- Apetite is basically not there, I eat much much less than before
That's a list of how I feel 11 months after taking neuroleptics. I can essentially hardly motivate myself to make
basic food, otherwise I just lie in bed and am in despair because nothing 'feels', nothing relates, nothing is
meaningful, and my ability to think and my motivation to do anything is erased.
Before meds I used to lead a happy, active, outgoing student, life. with a lot o interests and being happy about the
present and the future.
Can't think of much else to write. I have done basic stuf like try to meet friends, go for a walk, eat regularly, it
just doesn't give me my sense of taste or motivation or ability to think back.
I have no prospects of a career, meaningful relations with others, as long as I cannot experience 'reward' from any
task (something everyone takes for granted).
I think a lot of people recover from neuroleptics, but it seems I am not one of them, I think some basic
neurological thing like the dopamine reward system has been irreversibly erased.
I lost my life to these drugs.
I'm not really looking for advice on "become more active", or "take these drugs", I've tried both and I know what
options there are. Maybe I'm looking for someone to write "My life was destroyed 1+ year after completely
stopping neuroleptics, then recovery started".
I know I won't heal ever to a life I'll ever recognize. Anyway maybe this thread can be info to take into account
ppl using neuroleptics for sleep disorders and such, although I think it takes pretty high doses to become like I am
now, the state I became from these meds exemplifies how serious this class of medication is.
My own theory is that the circuitry that processess experiencing reward has been
nuked from my brain.
I think aside from bad sleep and apetite, the lack of enjoyment of anything really
is the main problem. (nauseau and fright doesn't help)
If I say enjoyed literally anything, I could build on that and get my life on track.
But I never leave this tortured hollow state where I can't do simple things.
Everything about my personality that was 'me' is erased. Nothing brings
enjoyment. So I'm kind of stuck in a fog that's like a prison, and have been for 11
months.
I'll write down the supplements I can try. And wait for natural recovery to some
basic existance that's not pure hell.
I think part of who you are is your memories, and they're gone. I mean I can
recall factual stuff, but not emotionally to any happy memory, it's just locked out.
In neurological terms I have not much idea what anatomical or biochemical
changes my brain has taken, but I think part of it is shrinking of gray matter, and
also downregulation of glutamate receptors.
So what I can do is take supplements and hope for meds that can have a positive
effect on glutamate signaling, of which there is one in research.
What I can enjoy is restricted to: eating when I am hungry, and drinking when I
am thirsty. This is similar to what I've read people with anhedonia report
(anhedonia which has multiple causes, one of which is being caused by
neuroleptics).
So time, supplements, and possibly new glutamate meds.
Yes, ALL of the above listed symtoms are literally caused by the multiple injections I
took. I had none of them before that. 0.
Also what you wrote about the possibility of psychosis, yes, I think this is very much
a possibility. Here's a quote from Wikipedia on Tardive Psychosis:
Tardive psychosis is a form of psychosis distinct from schizophrenia and induced by
the use of current (dopaminergic) antipsychotics by the depletion of dopamine and
related to the known side effect caused by their long-term use, tardive dyskinesia.
Whatever it is I suffer from. Life in this state is not worth living. I suffer more than I
experience joy.
I live in a constant fog where I can't really do anything. And I wake up from sleep: I
wake up in the middle of a nightmare. So I can't know if my entire nights sleep is one
continouous nightmare but for 1 year not once have I woken up not in the middle of a
nightmare.
PTSD, Sz, Psychosis. I don't rule any of those out. But I had 0 of them before the
injections, but didn't make a thread to argue about that but to get advice and hear
stories from ppl who took a lot o these meds as I did and what if anything alleviated.
MylifeisalsodestroyedsinceZyprexa/Olanzapine.IcannolongerfunctionasI
oncedid.Ihaveseverecognitiveimpairment.Ihavenofeelingsoremotionsatall,
everythingisjustflatormorepreciselyEMPTY.Ihavenodeepercreativityor
imaginationanymore,itslikeI'mhalfbraindead.Thisdrugstakeawaywhat
makesushumans.
Ifsomeoneisreadingthis,ifyouevenhaveasmallchancetobecomeasIhave
become,donotriskit.
YOUCANNOTIMAGINEHOWDESTROYEDYOUMAYBECOMEFROM
THISDRUG.
DONOTTAKEZYPREXA.
Permanently-destroyed-as-a-human-being-from-neuroleptics