Christian Relationships

Key Scriptures

1 Cor 13:1-8 1 Jn 4:20-21 Rom 12:9-21; Philip 2:1-4

Acts 4:32-35 1 Jn 3:16-18 Jn 1 Cor 12:25-27; 1 Jn 1:7
13:35 Eph 4:13-16, 25 Acts 2:42-47; 1 Thess 5:12 —15

Introduction

John Wesley once said, "The Bible knows nothing of solitary religion. Christianity is a "religion" of
fellowship. Following Christ means love, righteousness and service, and these things can only be
achieved through the social relationships found in our homes, offices, schools, church and
communities. Nothing can take the place of .

Christians often give up in their service for the Lord because they feel that they are on their own
and no one cares for them. They feel that the problems they are facing are peculiar to themselves
alone. Satan will try to convince us, as disciples of Jesus, that we do not need to be concerned about
other people. He will tell us that, 'As long as we have God, who needs other Christians!' However,
the truth is that as Christians, we are living stones that God is building together into a spiritual
house (1 Pt 2:5; Eph 2:20-22). True Christians need each other. In fact, true Christians are
dependent on each other. The word 'fellowship' in Greek is the word 'koinonia' and it means
'communion' or 'sharing in common" (Acts 2:42; ,1 John 1:7). This word describes how Christians
should live, i.e. as a community of mutual sharers who live in and share the 'agape' or selfless,
sacrificial love that God has given them (Rom 5:5; Jn 13:34; 1 Jn 3:23).

Oneness in Spirit is an attitude of het and mind. It is the expression of a bond in Christ Jesus
between Christian believers that goes far deeper than the natural ties of family or friendship. It is
one of the greatest challenges to our lives as Christians today. As Christians we are not on our own.
We have been born, by faith, into a tremendous worldwide family of believers who are joined
together, not by race, colour or convenience, but by the blood of Jesus (Galatians 3:26-28). The fact
is that we are one because of what God has done in Christ. This is God’s purpose in Christ before
the world began (Ephesians 1:4—5). We are what we are because of God's work in us through the
Holy Spirit (Philip 2:1-2; 2 Cor 13:14).

There must be a deep pain in the heart of God when He sees how far short we fall of the ideals He
presented us with in His Son. He has laid the foundation of our fellowship in Jesus and has given us
power to make it a reality through obedience and love in the Holy Spirit. The devil so often seems
to succeed, however, in leading us into failure and pain. Of course, at a practical level, we cannot
fellowship with every Christian in a deep sense, nor are we meant to. We are in fellowship with true
believers, whether we like it or not, because we are joined together in the heart of God through the
work of Christ. It is necessary for each one of us to discern our circles of fellowship, not in an
exclusive sense, but in a way that will enable us to express and fulfill this fellowship with other
Christians in a practical level.

Three results of relating with one another as believers

1. Fruitfulness

The Psalmist in Psalm 133 says that unity is like the dew of Hermon falling on Mount Zion. Dew of
 Hermon are the source of water and life for the land: they bring refreshment sustenance to the
people and enable them to be fruitful. Fellowship does the same for us in f brings refreshment and
nourishment for us in our daily walk with God, which enables us to be fruitful.

2. Creativity

There are many areas in our Christian lives where we cannot function properly apart from relating
with other believers. Christian fellowship is not an individual exercise but a corporate one. Most of
the challenges we face arise from the fact that we live in relationship with other people. The Holy
Spirit moves when allowed, to bring unity in the body of Christ, and He gives gifts as they are
needed, to build up and keep the body whole. There should be no poverty of spirit or lack of spiritual
gift in the body, and everybody should be enriched and built up as we share our gifts together in
mutual love and service (1 Pt 4:10—11). The Father's will is for a generosity of spirit which
recognises what is of God in one another and fosters it through mutual encouragement and help (Heb
10:24-25).

3. Cost

To have a really close relationship with someone costs us something, for we have to give in order to
receive, and in giving, the protective mask that we all have has to come down. The fact is that when
we open ourselves to relationship with one another we are making ourselves vulnerable. We are far
from perfect people and the cost of fellowship is that not only do we receive from each other that
which is of God, but we are also open to every influence and natural trait that manifests itself in our
lives and personalities. This is why some people find it hard to open themselves up to others, for fear
of hurt, misunderstanding or rejection. Although it would seem that by being open to a person we
make ourselves vulnerable, the truth is that a relationship will only reach its peak and be truly
fulfilling if we do open ourselves in this way. If you are lonely, ask yourself, 'Am I prepared for the
cost of true friendship and am I prepared to open myself up?'

We should humble ourselves and allow the Holy Spirit to search the thoughts and attitudes of all our
hearts. Our gospel cannot remain credible alongside the continual breakdown and spiritual divorce
between true believers. The pain that such separation brings can often be the most crippling factor in
our lives and ministries. It robs us of confidence within ourselves and between each other, and it
provides the world with a major reason for rejecting our message.

"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down His life for us. And we ought to lay down
our lives for our brothers . . . Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and
in truth." (1 Jn 3:16,18)

Questions for discussion

1. What should our attitude be to one another in the Body of Christ?
We should:
- love one another (Jn 13:34-35; Jn 15:12,17; 1 Thess 3:12; 1 Pt 1:22; 1 Jn 3:18; 1 Jn 4:7,11-12).
- encourage one another to love and good deeds (Heb 10:24). (1 Thess 4:18; Heb 3:13; Heb 10:25).
-build one another up (1 Thess 5:11; Rom 14:19)).
-instruct and admonish one another (Col 3:16; Rom 15:14)
-serve one another (Gal 5:13; 1 Pt 4:10).
-bear with one another (Eph 4:2; Col 3:13).
-forgive one another (Eph 4:32; Col 3:13).
- be kind to one another (Ephesians 4:32).
- be compassionate to one another (Ephesians 4:32; 1 Peter 3:8).
- be devoted to one another (Romans 12:10).
- honour one another (Romans 12:10).
- live in harmony with one another (Romans 12:16; 1 Peter 3:8).
- be sympathetic with one another (1 Peter 3:8).
- be gentle with one another (Ephesians 4:2; 1 Peter 3:8).
- be patient with one another (Ephesians 4:2).
- accept one another (Romans 15:7).
- submit to one another (Ephesians 5:21).
- clothe yourselves with humility towards one another (Ephesians 4:2; 1 Peter 5:5).
- teach one another (Colossians 3:16)
- live at peace with one another (Mark 9:50; Romans 12:18).
- confess your sins to one another (James 5:16).
- pray for one another (James 5:16).
- offer hospitality to one another (1 Peter 4:9).greet one another (Rom 16:16; 1 Pt 5:14).
- have fellowship with one another (1 John 1:7).
- agree with one another (1 Corinthians 1:10).
- carry one another's burdens (Galatians 6:2).

We should not
- bite or devour one another (Galatians 5:15),
- provoke or envy one another (Galatians 5:26).
- hate one another (Titus 3:3).
- judge one another (Romans 14:13).
- lie to one another (Colossians 3:9).
- slander or speak evil about one another (James 4:11).
- grumble against one another (James 5:9).
- go to the law against one another (1 Corinthians 6:1 —8).

2. Is it right for us to stand by and watch other people, whom we love deeply in Christ,
take actions or stances which we know will be unproductive or hurtful to themselves or others.
Discuss.

3. What effect does fear have on a relationship and does striving or working too hard and
intensely at fellowship with other people actually work? (1 John 4:18; Hebrews 13:6).
4. Are home groups a valid biblical part of our church life? (Acts 2:42-47; Acts 4:32-35; Acts
12:12; Acts 16:40; Colossians 4:15; Philemon: 2).

5. For your spiritual growth, do you need other Christians? Discuss.

6. Did Jesus have close friends (Mark 5:37; Luke 9:1; Luke 10:1; John 20:2; Acts 1:15) and
what was Jesus's attitude to Christian unity? (John 17:20-23).

CONCLUSION
We cannot reach spiritual maturity on our own because we need the help of other Christians to
grow into Christ’s likeness (Ephesians 4:11 —16). Positive attitudes within the body of Christ
bring life, peace and harmony; but negative attitudes bring death, upheaval and disharmony. The
Lord desires that every member of the body of Christ be a positive expression of His own life,
nature and character. We should love and forgive each other so that fellowship between
believers can be established and maintained. It has been said that for new Christians to become
firmly established in a church, they need to develop at least seven meaningful relationships
within it. If this is so, what should your response be? Discuss. If we do not pass on to others what
we have received from God, we will begin to fall into spiritual decline. We need to be committed both
to God and to one another in the body of Christ. This means \ have to be willing to pay the cost of
such a commitment, because true fellowship between believers is a sacrifice (Heb 13:16). As we
show love, kindness and practical help to others, it is as if we are doing it for Christ (Matt 25:31-46).
Our unity and Christ-like attitudes towards one another are enabled because of our common
experience of the life of God through the Holy Spirit.