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HEALTHY LIFE
A fathers story
Author Frank Deford is also a journalist. Many would recognize him for
his long-standing commentary on
NPRs Morning Edition.
Right away, I discover Defords experience with Alex is not sugar-coated
or romanticized. The little girl dies on
the first page. Then Deford takes us
back.
I board the plane.
Alex died when her lungs stopped
working. She was scared and unable to
breathe.
We take off.
The little girls death is made tens of
thousands of times worse by the fact
that, as you read about this childs life,
you fall in love with her. So much of
what Deford said about Alex reminded
me of my 4-year-old daughter, Laila,
who does not have CF. Alex loved telling jokes, wearing pretty dresses, being
silly, singing, dancing and acting.
Alexs sweet, strong spirit leaps off the
books pages. All that courage. That
inner strength her disease couldnt
penetrate it. She just gets to you.
Thats why it hurts so much to read
about the childs take on her own mortality. Alex knew she was going to die
young.
Alex loved making joke messages
with her daddy on the answering machine. She loved to laugh, though she
tried not to laugh too hard, because it
made her cough. After making one
message with her dad, she said something like, Oh, my little daddy,
wouldnt this have been fun?
What she meant was wouldnt
this have been fun, if she were to live?
Wouldnt this have been fun? Life together. The good times she was going
to miss. That sweet little child knew
her time was fleeting.
That scene nearly does me in. Turbulence. Blinking. Looking at the
plane ceiling. Dont cry. Deep breath.
Whew. OK, moving on. Deford is a
stunning writer. His words make me
feel. Smile. Think think, dont waste
time. Find reasons to be happy. Those
words pull my heart through a paper
shredder. Just a few hours ago I could
never find the time to read. Now I cant
IN BRIEF
TRY THIS: SOMETIMES, SAY NO
Learn to say no.
Learning how to decline a request is an important life skill. Many of us have a difficult time saying no, even when were overwhelmed with things
to do. We may say yes from a desire to please, but
in the end we often feel resentful, frustrated and
angry with ourselves. Remember that you have a
right to decline any request, even if its reasonable.
Try taking some time before you answer. Let
people know you need to think it over or check
with family or your boss.
Say Thanks for calling, and Im grateful you
thought of me, but I cant take on any more tasks.
Always remember: you are saying no to the task,
not rejecting the person. Its called self-care.
SOURCE: MOLLY ROSS, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, INTEGRIS JAMES L.
Frank Deford
AT A GLANCE
FOLLOW ALONG
Juliana Keeping chronicles
survival tales at hithisiseli.com.
Follow her @hithisiseli or
@julianakeeping on Twitter.
HOW TO HELP
Donations to the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation Sooner
Chapter can be made online at
www.cff.org/GetInvolved/
ManyWaysToGive/Donate/
index.cfm or mailed to CF
Foundation Sooner Chapter,
Oklahoma City office, Bethany
Bank Tower, 2908 N Peniel
Ave., Suite 330, Bethany, OK
73008.
INFORMATION
The CF Foundation Sooner Chapter: www.cff.org/
chapters/okc/.
Cystic fibrosis: www.cff.org.
stop reading.
Facing reality
From Oklahoma City, I fly to Atlanta. The man sitting next to me asks
what I am reading. He recognizes Defords name on the cover.
Its a book about a little girl with
cystic fibrosis, I say. Alex. Mr. Defords daughter died at 8. Im actually
on my way to a conference for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation, to learn about
how I can help. My son, Eli, has the
same disease. But, things are different
now
My voice cracks. I cant spit out a
sentence. The man looks away. Ive
gotten emotional, and the poor guy
only wanted to know what I was reading. I cant stand crying in public. I get
out of my seat and run to the bathroom, feeling embarrassed.
Day to day, I dont think about the
deadly part of CF. I prefer not to
confront it. What purpose would that
serve? The man had made an innocent
inquiry and somehow in a moment the
gravity of my sons disease just hit me
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