Caitlin Bauer

March 4, 2015
Word count: 1,867
The Top Five: Ways to Make Your College Relationship More Successful
HerCampus

Caitlin Bauer
12700 Orion on Orpington
Caitlin_Bauer@knights.ucf.edu

Stephanie Lewis
Her Campus
1089 Commonwealth Ave
3/5/2015
Boston, MA 02215
Dear Ms. Lewis:
My name is Caitlin Bauer, and I am currently a junior at the University of Central
Florida. I study Advertising and Public Relations, with a minor in Writing and Rhetoric. I am
originally from Chicago, where winters are harsh. Writing has always been a safe place for me. I
have found that I love writing articles that involve self-help. I believe that women should thrive
and be comfortable in their own skin, and face the world head on, and I know your blog helps to
give women the confidence and reassurance they need to do so.
My past writing experiences have always been focused towards all types of creative
writing, specifically novels. However, recently I have become very interested in articles that lay
out advice and a foundation to those around me. My article focuses on the prospect of being in a
serious, long term relationship in college, while being surrounded by an atmosphere that
demands that it must fail. My article focuses on the ways to make things less complicated, and to
help your relationship to be as successful as it can, given the environment of college. I feel that
my article is perfect for your publication, because so many young students feel as though they
cannot keep a relationship in college, and thats not true. My past experiences in writing involve
a completed novel.
HerCampus is the type of publication that thrives on the idea of self-improvement, selflove, and searching for your own happiness. It is a blog that has a variety of messages, but all of
which can positively impact its readers. It was built and created by strong and driven women,
and it is read by females who strive to be that. Thank you for consideration, and thank you for
taking the time out of your day.
Best Wishes,
Caitlin Bauer

The Top Five: Ways to Make Your College Relationship More Successful

College has a good many of stereotypes and attributes behind the name, but serious
relationship isnt typically one of those qualities. We are told, from the very beginning, that
college is supposed to be the best years of your life. It is the time to discover who you are, as a
person, thrive in a supremely social environment, and make mistakes that you learn from, as well
as learn not to regret. These are all important components, obviously, but theres a part of society
(specifically those who surround you at college) that wants you to believe that a serious
relationship is not welcome in that atmosphere. It is not common, or typical, and it goes against a
lot of what college is supposed to be. But the fact of the matter is that college is exactly what
you make of it, and what you want it to be, and that includes being in a relationship.
A good many of us did not go out of our way in search of a relationship, once stepping
foot on college ground. However, things like this come at unexpected times, especially when you
are not actively searching for one, and thats when its the most incredible. But this is the time in
your life where serious relationships are supposed to be unwelcome and uninvited, simply
because you cannot possibly live the real college life while being monogamous with another
individual, correct?
That statement could not be more misguided or false. There are relationships you can
encounter that will be toxic, unhealthy, and emotionally drain you. Those are relationships that
cannot only ruin your college experience, but also ruin you. But there are relationships that are
healthy, supportive, and bring happiness, and these are the relationships that will give you so
much more out of college then you-or anyone else-thought possible. People do find the one in
college, and those individuals should not throw away that gift simply because relationships
dont belong in college. Life can and will test every relationship, but this test is especially
forceful in college. Your relationship can be hugely successful, as long as you take the necessary
steps and added effort that is necessary.

Surround yourself with people who support your choice:

Your friends can have a huge impact on what kind of individual you become, as well as
your mindset and what you enjoy. This is especially true when you are in a committed
relationship, yet have surrounded yourself with people who do not approve of your choice, and
make it their mission to make things as difficult as possible for you. In all steps of life, you
should have strong bonds and relationships with people who want to see you happy, even if they
dont necessarily agree with things. Your friends can either support your relationship, or act with
the intentions of destroying it.

I was in a really happy relationship for a while, but the people around me thought it was
a mistake, expresses Katarina Pedit, a junior at UCF. Everyone wanted me to be single,
because it was more fun for them. Because of that, they did everything they could to mess up my
relationship, and they ended up succeeding.
You are supposed to have enough self-worth in life to know when someone deserves to
be your friend, and when they dont. You need to have the strength to avoid and eliminate toxic
people from your life, especially when they begin to threaten the things you want the most.
Relationships can already be difficult and complex, especially in college where things and people
work against you and it does not benefit you to have friends that add a bigger strain to things.
You should only let certain people into your circle. You significant other is typically your best
friend, because they understand you at a deeper level then all others, and only want happiness for
you. Those are the types of friendships you need to cultivate and keep.

Keep your independence and identity beyond your relationship:

When you are deeply committed to someone, and have every intention of being with
them for the duration of your life, you tend to want to be plastered to their side 24/7. You eat
with them, hangout with them, do homework together, watch shows together, do laundry
together-you dont want to be separated. However, specifically in college, you need to control
that urge and have a separate life outside of your relationship. If you dont, you wont grow. You
are your own person; therefore you have your own needs and life to live. This doesnt mean that
you love your significant other any less, just that you prioritize you time, and value it.
Katarina Pedit went into more details about her failed relationship, establishing that
toxic friends werent the only thing to blame: Him and I did everything together, and I feel
like that contributed to us breaking up. By being with each other all the time, we kind of lost
ourselves, and I dont feel like that kind of relationship could work, at least, not long term. Its
important to want to be with them a lot, but its also important to focus on yourself.
College treats independence as something different then what it really is, in reality.
College peers tend to illustrate independence as not catering to anyone else, throwing your body
at whoever you want, and not regretting choices. Everyone has their own values, and everyone
has a right to their own values. But when youre in a relationship, your independence actually
mirrors what true independence is-you try to fix your own problems, you focus on yourself and
your enjoyments, and you give yourself the me time that you deserve. Through this
independence, and living a life beyond your relationship, you will continue to grow and thrive,
which can greatly benefit things with your significant other.

Support each others goal and hobbies, and know who you are:
College is full of unlimited possibilities, activities, and clubs. Because of this, it is the
perfect time to find your passions, and throw yourself into them. A steady, loving and healthy

relationship is one in which each individual feels like they can partake fully in their hobbies, and
that their counterpart fully supports that. When people love and enjoy an activity of some kind,
they want to spend time doing it, and it is your job (as their significant other) to support that.
This is especially evident when a goal might make you less than thrilled-for instance, if your
significant other where to leave during the summer for an internship across the country. It is
obviously not favorable, and you might have your own hang ups about it, but you need to
support the things that make them happy. College is about experiencing things, and you
shouldnt prevent your significant other from doing so. This also means that, while you two can
have common hobbies, you should also partake in hobbies that dont involve your counterpart,
because hobbies can be used as me time, as well.
You hobbies can also tell you a lot about who you are, and knowing who you are is
important in a relationship. Some firmly believe that well never totally and completely know
ourselves, because throughout life, we constantly and consistently grow. However, your core
personality and ambitions typically dont change, and it is important that those qualities merge
well with your significant others. In college, people grow quickly, and many relationships cannot
adapt to that and tend to split. By knowing who you are, and what you want, and reminding
yourself of those things, your relationship can (and likely will) thrive.

Effort is everything:
You will not live a day in your life where some kind of effort isnt required-this includes
your relationship. However, there is an important balance to this idea. No relationship should
ever demand an exhausting amount of effort from you-they shouldnt be ridiculously
complicated. However, every relationship requires and will require some kind of effort. The
relationship should be simple, but as soon as one individual stops trying, it will end, at some
point.
People think that, just because youre in a long relationship, you dont have to try
anymore, Morgan Jacobson, a junior communication student at UCF expressed. But that
doesnt make sense-you should always try, especially in a relationship. Try to be a better person,
try to be more supportive, and try to show your love more. The relationship can be super easy,
but its still going to demand effort.
When you are really in love, that other person brings out your best qualities. But it
doesnt stop there-being with that person makes you want to be the best possible you that you
can be. Relationships are not always going to be easy, and in college, you have good many of
things that will work against you and your loved one (the college stereotype alone does that). But
as long as you are sure and confident in what you have, and you make an effort each and every
day, your relationship can and will be successful. If the feelings are honestly mutual, that effort
will be equal.

Value your happiness, and keep the things that make you happy:
The life we get to live is so short, and we only truly have one chance at living it to the
best of our abilities. So why, then, should you ever spend a minute unhappy? Happiness is loving
and embracing the things you have, not necessarily what you want. They say that if you love life,
then it will love you back. You need to truly and deeply think about what makes you happy, and
what does not make you happy, and revaluate all of those things. There is a high chance that your
relationship makes you supremely happy, and that is often a very rare find in life. Do not let that
go, simply because your college peers have a different vision for you. You define that vision,
instead, and it is everything you make of it.
Everyone finds happiness in different things-some find happiness in parties, or computer
club, or row team. Some people live a very different life then you, and find happiness in that
lifestyle, and that is perfectly okay. However, you cannot let the pressure of everyone else, and
their ideas and hopes, get in the way of your own. College goes by in a blur of color and
memories, and it is exactly what we make of is. If you have found someone you care so very
deeply about, and can see yourself with no other person, dont let that go to fill the mold that was
placed for you. Some of us get supremely lucky, and are able to meet the one in college,
without really have to stretch that far to achieve it. Thats incredible luck that doesnt happen
often. College can be a game, and you shouldnt play on anyone elses terms but your own.
When youre in a committed relationship in college, youve been dealt a particularly lucky hand
of cards-embrace the cards youve been dealt, love your significant other freely, and dont let
college play you.