April Fools Edition

Volume 128 Issue 2

Wednesday, Marchvember 50, 2015

THE UNIVERSITY DAILY

KANSAN
Trying to stay relevant since 1904

CHIPOT-BAE

University to unveil new Chipotle in Kansas Union | PAGE 5A

WHATS CRACKIN

Graduation ceremony to be moved elsewhere after crack found in Campanile infrastructure

WINNIFRED BEATRICE
@WinnieTheBae27

FILE PHOTO/KANSAN
Students celebrate after walking through the Campanile during last years commencement ceremony. The University announced that the Campanile will undergo
construction starting next week that will affect this years graduation, moving the ceremony to a different location that has not yet been decided upon.

Starting next week the Campanile will undergo construction that will likely last until
mid-summer.
The reinforced concrete that
holds up the 64-year-old memorial has cracked under the
weight of its 53 bells, the largest
of which weighs seven tons. The
Campanile was just renovated
in 1996, however construction
workers deem the property to
be too dangerous for students
to walk under during this years
graduation ceremony.
The timing of the construction is unfortunate, said Carol
Smith, the director of facilities
at the University. Obviously
the Campanile is a huge part of
KU graduation tradition. But
really whats at stake here is the
safety of our students, and thats
not something we want to compromise.
Construction will begin April
8 and is set to last until July. The
dozens of large bells will need
to be removed and stored at
the School of Music while construction can take place on the
memorial.
Shelby Hobbes, a junior from
Overland Park, is currently enrolled in the carillon class at the
University, for which she routinely practices the Campanile
bells for all of campus to hear.
We noticed that the floors
were a little more creaky than
usual so we decided to tell our
professor, Hobbes said. They
told us they inspected it and
found cracks in the foundation.
It was scary. What if the whole
thing had collapsed while I was
practicing my Chopsticks?
Originally built in 1961 as a
memorial to World War II, the

Campanile holds a special place

in the hearts of KU students, especially those graduating.
Ive never walked straight
through the Campanile, said
Sean Marlow, a junior from
Overland Park. Ive always
heard that if you do you wont
graduate on time.
But with construction set to
start soon, the odds of Jackson,
and all other soon-to-be graduates, walking through the Campanile at commencement are
slim to none.
Honestly? Im pissed, Jackson said. Its part of KU tradition. What are we going to do
instead? Streak through campus and into the stadium? Wait,
thats not a bad idea.
While many students agree
with Jacksons sentiments, there
are others who dont seem
bothered by the closure of the
memorial.
I dont care if I walk through
it or not. Its just a stupid myth.
I walked through it my freshman year and Im fine, said
Nik Jackson, a sixth-year senior
from Cleveland, Ohio.
Until estimates can be made,
the Campanile will remain
taped off, denying access to all
students hoping to cap off their
time at the University.
Smith said University officials
are currently in talks of how to
circumvent the closed memorial for commencement.
Weve been tossing up a few
ideas of how to make graduation special, Smith said. I
wont say for sure whats going
to happen, but right now were
considering the possibility of
walking through campus and
ending at the Lawrence High
School stadium. That way students still get the feel of a journey and a new beginning.

KU Dining to stop serving popular

Crunchy Chicken Cheddar Wraps
CHANDLER BING
@PimpinAintEasy_92

In an effort to improve health

campus-wide, KU Dining announced Tuesday it will no
longer serve Crunchy Chicken
Cheddar Wraps at the University beginning next fall.
Provost Jeffrey Vitter said he
knows students will be upset
after this announcement, and
believes it is the right thing to
do for the long-term health of
the community.
Students will thank me later, Vitter said. I know some
individuals who eat as many
as 10 in a single week. That
will undoubtedly lead to poor
health consequences down the
road for students. Not to mention ripped jeans and broken
chairs.
According to myfitnesspal.
com, the Crunchy Chicken
Cheddar Wrap contains 776
calories, which is more than
one-third of the daily recommendation of 2,000, according
to the Mayo Clinic. It also contains more than 70 percent of
the daily recommended consumption of cholesterol and
sodium.
Vitter made this decision in
collaboration with Chancellor
Bernadette Gray-Little and

Index

OPINION 4A
F&F 5A

Nutrition facts:
Crunchy Chicken
Cheddar Wrap
Calories 776
Sodium 1,646 mg
Total Fat 48 g
Potassium 0 mg
Saturated 16 g
Total Carbs 30 g
Polyunsaturated 0 g
Dietary Fiber 2 g
Monounsaturated 0 g
Sugars 0 g
Trans 0 g
Protein 53 g
Cholesterol 212 mg
Vitamin A 18 percent
Calcium 30 percent
Vitamin C 2 percent
Iron 16 percent
Nona Golledge, the director of
KU Dining Services.
The mission of the University of Kansas is to uplift students and society by educating
leaders, building healthy communities and making discovPUZZLES 6A
SPORTS 8A

eries that change the world,

Vitter said. Eliminating one
of the most unhealthy dishes on campus falls into those
goals.
Regina Filange, the KU Dining student liaison, didnt agree
with the Universitys decision.
I shed a couple tears when
I first heard about it. The
Crunchy Chicken Cheddar
Wrap is bae, Filange said. I
understand the reasoning behind the decision, but it isnt
the only unhealthy food item
on campus, it just happens to
be the most popular one. Its a
campus tradition.
In 2013, the Cooking Channel featured the Crunchy
Chicken Cheddar wrap on a
bracket of the 32 best college
dishes. The wrap advanced
to the Elite 8 before losing to
a spaghetti dish at Marquette
University.
Golledge said the wrap will
be replaced by the Ultimate
Vegan Wrap, which contains
tofu, pickled beets, habanero
peppers, asparagus, cottage
cheese and a fat-free vinaigrette dressing.
We are replacing an unhealthy wrap with what will
be our healthiest one on the
menu, Golledge said. I want
to prove to college students

MORNING BREW 7A
FFA 4A

All contents, unless stated otherwise, 2015 The University Daily Kansan

Dont
Forget

that you dont need meat to

make a wrap taste good.
The
Crunchy
Chicken
Cheddar Wrap which can
be purchased fresh at Brellas locations at the Market,
Underground and Crimson
Cafe contains two to three
fried chicken strips, shredded
cheddar cheese, tomatoes, a
handful of lettuce and a generous helping of ranch dressing
wrapped in a jalapeno tortilla.
Vitter admitted he ate a
Crunchy Chicken Cheddar
Wrap about once a month.

I shed a couple tears when

I first heard about it. The
Crunchy Chicken Cheddar
Wrap is bae.
REGINA FILANGE
KU Dining student liaison

They are addicting, Vitter

said. The chicken strips are
absolutely delightful, and the
ranch dressing tastes heavenly. I frequently have to remind
myself, A moment on the lips,
a lifetime on the hips.
The University will continue
to look at eliminating other

To not believe anything in

this edition of The Kansan.

FRANK WEIRICH/KANSAN
KU Dining Services announced yesterday it would no longer be serving the
Crunchy Chicken Cheddar Wrap. The wrap will be replaced with the Ultimate
Vegan Wrap starting next fall.

unhealthy dishes served on

campus, Vitter said. He hinted that Chick-Fil-A and Pizza
Hut could be on the chopping
block.
That is certainly a possibility, Vitter said. We are looking into vendors that are more
health-conscious and provide
more vegetarian and vegan

Todays
Weather

options.
The last day the wraps will be
available for purchase will be
Friday, July 31.
Enjoy them while you can,
Vitter said. Because they are
going to be gone forever.

Tomorrows weather will

stay the same. Get used
to Alaskan type weather

HI: 80
LO: 80

The
Weekly

Weather
Forecast
weather.com

news

Managing editor
Tina Fey

Social media editor

Regina George
ADVERTISING MANAGEMENT
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Sales manager
Snow White
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Sleeping Beauty
NEWS SECTION EDITORS
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Pizza Goddess
Associate news editor
Hilary Duff
Opinion editor
Jennifer Lawrence
Arts & features editor
Mariah Carey
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Howard Cosell
Associate sports editor
Luna Lovegood
Art director
Carol Holstead
Design Chief
Smoked Bacon
Designer
Mr. Potatohead
Multimedia editor
Aladdin
Associate multimedia editor
Tarzan
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Gretchen Wieners
Special projects editor
Francesca Yeet
Copy chiefs
Quesadilla LeeAnn Chutchins
Krispy Kreme
ADVISERS
Sales and marketing adviser
Don Draper
Content strategist
Clark Kent
UDK Bartender
Pattycakes Cromwell

The University Daily Kansan is the

student newspaper of the University of
Kansas. The first copy is paid through
the student activity fee. Additional
copies of The Kansan are 50 cents.
Subscriptions can be purchased at the
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The University Daily Kansan (ISSN
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exams and weekly during the summer
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CONTACT US
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Newsroom: (785) 766-1491
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@KANSANNEWS
THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
KANSAN.COM
2000 Dole Human Development Center
1000 Sunnyside Avenue
Lawrence, Kan., 66045

WEDNESDAY

T-storms with a 50 percent chance of

rain. Wind NWE at 8 mph.

T-storms with a 50 percent chance of

rain. Wind NWE at 8 mph.

HI: 95
LO: 73

HI: 51
LO: 71

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

HI: 95
LO: 71

HI: -5
LO: -30

Partly cloudy with a 50 percent

chance of rain. Wind NWE at 8 mph.

T-storms with a 50 percent chance of

rain. Wind NWE at 8 mph.

Kansas invades Missouri, nukes Columbia

Seduction editor
Sweet Roll

Web editor
Moof Silver

TUESDAY

BORDER WAR!

NEWS MANAGEMENT
Editor-in-chief
Chandler Bing

Digital editor
Queen Bae

PAGE 2A

WEDNESDAY, MARCHVEMBER 50, 2015

THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN

JIMBLES BOND
@JimblesBond

Kansas
Governor
Sam
Brownback signed an executive order authorizing the
United States Army 1st Infantry Division and the Kansas
National Guard to begin combat operations in Kansas City
and the greater northwestern
region of Missouri yesterday,
effectively declaring war on
the neighboring state.
In a statement this morning,
Brownback called upon all
Kansans to assist in the war
effort.
I mean, come on. Kansas
City is named after us. Were
just finishing the job that John
Brown started 200 years ago,
Brownback said. Its past time
to protect the rights of native
Kansans who reside in Missouri and to take back what
is rightfully ours: the College
Basketball Hall of Fame and
that ice cream place in Westport.
The campaign began with
the advance of the Fort Riley-based 1st Infantry Division into the city center
of Kansas City. So far, Kansas troops have successfully
gained a foothold in and occupied the Kansas City metro, facing minimal resistance
from Missourian forces.
Kansas also struck Columbia, Mo., with a barrage of tactical nuclear weapons, turning
the irredeemable wasteland

EXPLO PHOTO/KANSAN
Gov. Sam Brownback authorized combat operations to begin in Kansas City and northwest Missouri yesterday, declaring war on the state.

into a radioactive irredeemable wasteland. Citizens say

life hasnt changed much
there, however.
To be honest, the bombs
made things a little cleaner
around here, said University
of Missouri student Bob-Cletis Gilroy Jr. The bandit

attacks got a little more frequent, but other than that its
life as usual here at Mizzou.
SEC!
Critics say Brownback is
using the historical grievances between the two states
as a pretense to seize control
of Kansas Citys professional

sports franchises, namely the

Chiefs football team and Royals baseball team.
Its a war for football. I believe there is a way to achieve
a peaceful solution to our
lack of an NFL franchise
without bloodshed in Kansas
City, said University politi-

cal science professor Margaret Vasquez. Wait, does this

mean were taking over that
ice cream place in Westport?
Forget it, Im down.
Sources close to Missouris
military said the bulk of the
Missourian armed forces will
remain in St. Louis.

THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN

PAGE 3A

WEDNESDAY, MARCHVEMBER 50, 2015

Brownback legalizes drugs for recreational use

ARIEL

@Blondelittlemermaid
Following a Republican
convention this past weekend in Amsterdam, Netherlands, Gov. Sam Brownback
has made the decision to legalize all forms of drugs for
recreational use, effective
immediately.
I have finally had the realization, that the War on
Drugs is nothing but a waste
of money, Brownback said
in a news release. It is time
for a change.
Several Republican Kansas
representatives,
including
Brownback, traveled to Amsterdam to conduct a study
Friday and Saturday. The
study compared the crime
and drug use rates between
Amsterdam and Kansas.
Brownback and the others
met with Netherlands Prime
Minister Mark Rutte at a coffee shop early Friday, where
they discussed the staggering statistics of Amsterdam,
where cannabis in all of its
forms, as well as hallucinogenic mushrooms, are legal
for personal use.
Rutte said the conversation
he had with Brownback went
well, and Brownback was
open for several reform suggestions.
By legalizing drugs from
marijuana to heroine, we
will not only fix this state,
we will also be pioneers for
this country, according to
the release. Medical professionals can finally use these
drugs to help their patients,
and those who see it fit to
use recreational drugs may
do so legally.
Brownback has designed a
four-tier strategy, which has
been modeled from Amsterdam and the state of Colorados current laws.
Tier one will implement
the legalization of drugs that
are considered Schedule III
through Schedule V, which
means they are substances
with low potential to be addictive, ranging from Xanax,
to anabolic steroids to Ketamine.
Tier two is modeled after
current Colorado law, which
utilizes bold sentencing,
parole
and
community
re-entry, according to Colorado Drug Policy.
All people currently incarcerated in the state of Kansas
for drug charges including
paraphernalia,
possession
and intent to sell will be released. As of Sept. 30, 2013,
there were 98,200 inmates
in federal prison for possession, trafficking of drugs or
other drug related charges.
Currently, $50 billion of
Kansas tax dollars goes to
prisons, juvenile justice
programs and parole and
other corrections programs,
according to the Center on

ASSOCIATED PRESS
A man rolls a blunt as a large group gathered near the New Jersey Statehouse to show their support for legalizing marijuana March 21 in Trenton, N.J. Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback recently announced
he would legalize all forms of drugs in the state for recreational use, effective immediately.

Budget and Policy Priorities.

With the decrease in nearly 100,000 inmates, Kansas
tax payers will save approximately $10 billion a year,
Brownback said.

The money we save will fund

scholarships for students
who attend state-level
universities.
SAM BROWNBACK
Kansas governor

Once these inmates are all

released, parole and community re-entry programs
will teach those who still
want to be involved in the
drug trade how to grow and
cultivate drugs. Brownback
said teaching those who
were previously involved
with drugs how to grow and
deal intelligently will nearly
eliminate gang violence.
Should these men and
women who have spent their
lives engulfed in the drug
trade have a new, legal outlet
to do their profession, gangs
will not have an opportunity to sell drugs in Kansas,
Brownback said in a High
Times Magazine article. If
your friendly neighborhood
drug dealer has high-quality
drugs to sell you, why would
you give your money to
grossly manufactured drugs
from gangs who bring nothing but violence?

Currently, Americans annually spend $51 billion on

the War on Drugs, according
to www.drugpolicy.org. A
large portion of this money
contributes to border patrol
and preventing gangs from
entering the U.S. With low
demand for gangs to transport drugs across the border, Americans will be able
to save billions each year on
eliminating border patrol
and anti-gang task forces.
Attorney General Derek
Schmidt said he has seen a
rise in West Coast gang influences among Kansas teens
more in the recent years than
ever before.
All of these gangs use Kansas as a pipeline to smuggle
their drugs through, and on
the way, they stop in places
like Kansas City and get all
of these young kids to join
their gangs, Schmidt said.
Its time for this nonsense
to stop. The violence ends
here.
And thats where tier three
comes in. New legislation
will require mandated gang,
drug and overdose education to students of all ages.
Instead of Say No to Drugs
campaigns in elementary
schools, young students will
be educated on the effects of
drugs on their bodies. At the
middle school level, students
will receive financial education on the use of drugs,
including a mark-up of how
much money they can save if
they do not purchase drugs.
In high school, students will

ASSOCIATED PRESS
Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback speaks at the Kansas Department for Children and Families in Topeka on March 23.
Brownback announced that he would legalize all drugs for recreational use, effective immediately.

receive education on overdoses.

This aggressive form of education will hopefully show
kids that drugs arent bad.
We dont want to scare them
from not doing drugs, we
just want them to know what
theyre putting into their
bodies and what could happen in instances of overuse,
Brownback said.
Finally, tier four, will legalize Schedule I and II drugs.
These drugs are classified
as having a high potential
for abuse and are not cur-

rently accepted for medical

use, according to the Office
of Diversion Control and
include marijuana, heroin,
LSD, Ecstasy and Adderall.
This will be the last enacted tier because Brownback
hopes the previous three will
have been fully completed
and successful by this time.
We have to start with small
steps, Brownback said. We
cant just jump right in and
say everyone is free and
can do what they want with
drugs. No, there has to be
organization and order, and

with that, people can follow

suit and go from there.
So where will all the money
Kansas saves go?
I want to give money back
to the education systems in
Kansas, Brownback said.
It is time for college students, especially, to be given a break. The money we
save will fund scholarships
for students who attend
state-level universities.

PAGE 4A

WEDNESDAY, MARCHVEMBER 50, 2015

THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN

Text your FFA

submissions to
(785) 2898351 or
at kansan.com

opinion

Some random guy said God Bless to me the other day. I

Complete the tackle, 4th down now, they have to punt. Wait,

didnt know what to say. Im agnostic.

this might be football.

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate

just one time - Drake, probably

Pretty sure none of the professors in the math department are

Me: Hey professor, how are you? Professor: Its in the syllabus.

as attractive as the sexy professor from Italy.

boyfriend so controlling they call him Guantanamo Bae

I hate when theres a typo in a funny text and it ruins the

Note to self: I should probably stop texting and walking. I

whole thong

When you call your teacher mom or dad -_-

Cant sleep because I cant figure out how

Why does basketball have to end?

walk straight into too many doors.

Some girl in my class today was barely wearing a shirt. How

waffle fries are made

can you think thats OK?

To whoever finds the $20 I dropped on campus spend it on

When you have no clue what your professor wrote but you still

Geography really shouldnt be this hard.

alcohol. Its what I would have wanted.

write it in a similar shape as they did

I cant handle all these TWD season finale spoilers everywhere

I want a dog when I grow up but Im extremely irresponsible

Just sneezed 12 times in a row at Walmart. TWELVE.

I go...#haventseenityet!

About time to plan my life around the Royals again.

All I want is someone to cuddle with, eat Chipotle with,

and its probably not a good idea.

Blue cheese be stanky.

and watch Netflix with. #Basic

Almost got knocked over by the girl at the bar twerking to

Bill Self for President.

Baby Got Back.

Is pajama-tester a profession? Like, where you can try on

comfy PJs and footy pajamas all day?

All I want is summer. Is that so hard?

Arent you suppose to stop getting zits once youre done being
a teenager? Ugh.

I am so stressed right now and I dont know how to handle it

What can I do to be featured in Day in the Life? Not being so

:)

lazy might be a good start.

I wonder which basketball player on Kentucky

makes the most money.

I get more homework done in my class

Stop trying to make fetch happen.

than I do any other time.

When youre telling a really good story at night and your room-

I shed so much hair Im surprised Im not bald.

mate falls asleep in the middle of it and starts snoring.

If Withey doesnt win the Face of the Streak competition

Im going to cry.

My milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard will forever

Pro tip: Dont get a beer just because you think

be the funniest line in a song ever

it has a cool name.

I love having a mini panic attack when someones

ringtone plays my alarm clock

Woogadie woogadie woogadie

Why cant we swim in Potter Lake like the good ole days?
Pro tip: most teachers dont accept tear stains

Remember playing Mario Kart and thinking you were in first

Cant wait for the campus to look nice when Im not here in

place, then realizing you were actually looking at the wrong

five years.

screen the whole time and crashing into walls? Thats college.

as an acceptable essay response

Halfway to class I noticed my sandals were on the wrong feet,

Just walked up 14th street hill brb gonna go pass out in the
Vietnamese food is phoking delicious

just gonna be one of those days I guess

grass
What do you mean I cant use beak em bucks

Late to class bc I was taking a personality quiz to see what

Didnt spring semester just start last week?

to pay parking tickets?!

I love watching large groups of people check their iPhones

At a party I almost had fun for 5 minutes before remembering

Hella apparently is a new way of measurement

when one of them gets a text.

all my responsibilities tomorrow

10% luck, 20% skill, 70% concentrated adderall pill

Ive gotten more sleep in my classes

Serious question, when was the last time you did a cartwheel?

kind of fruit I am -- im such a strawberry

than in my own bed this week

Whatever happened to the twitter acct KU secret admirer? You

Trivia at Dempseys tonight!

used to be the highlight of my day!

Beards are far superior to mustaches. Unless youre

Ron Swanson or the Pringles Man.

3 tests in a week, im starting to suspect my teachers meet

You know what sucks? Accidentally setting your alarm

for PM instead of AM.

late at night to plan against me

How can I get on a game show? I could use an extra $10,000
All these flat plains and they decide to build KU

I say a prayer every time I see someone sprinting to class

WE WERE ON A BREAK.

on the one hill in Lawrence

Do you ever look at your parking job and wonder when you

David Beaty is a hunk.

I feel no obligation to tip my bartender who charged us $5 for

became such a jerk?

a Lone Star. Great, you can open an overpriced can. Bye.

Girls in my 7 am class w/ fake lashes and Im thinking about

iPhone chargers should be called Apple Juice

how I managed to brush my hair this morning

Please dont say oh yeah, keep doin it while the cashier is

scanning your coupons at Dillons.

to the window, to the wall, to my 8 am I crawl

One of the worst parts of breaking up is knowing youll never

see their dog again, and their dog doesnt know why you

Dating tip: put your arm around her, then your other arm.

stopped visiting :(

The submission should include the authors name,

grade and hometown. Find our full letter to the editor
policy online at kansan.com/letters.

orchestral accompaniment. Sisqo cant hold this genre

down by himself.

CONTACT US

HOW TO SUBMIT A LETTER TO THE EDITOR

Send letters to opinion@kansan.com. Write LETTER
TO THE EDITOR in the email subject line. Length:
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We need more songs about undergarments featuring an

Brian Hillix, editor-in-chief

bhillix@kansan.com

Cecilia Cho, opinion editor

ccho@kansan.com

Jordan Mentzer, print sales manager

jmentzer@kansan.com

Paige Lytle, managing editor

plytle@kansan.com

Cole Anneberg, art director

canneberg@kansan.com

Kristen Hays digital media manager

khays@kansan.com

Stephanie Bickel, digital editor

sbickel@kansan.com

Sharlene Xu, advertising director

sxu@kansan.com

Jon Schlitt, sales and marketing adviser

jschlitt@kansan.com

THE KANSAN
EDITORIAL BOARD
Members of the Kansan
Editorial Board are Brian
Hillix, Paige Lytle, Cecilia
Cho, Stephanie Bickel and
Sharlene Xu.

WEDNESDAY, MARCHVEMBER 50, 2015

THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN

Taylor Swift to perform at Allen Fieldhouse

MARIAH CAREY
@MariahCarey

farts & features

HOROSCOPES BY HANNAH
Aries (March 21-April 19)
Today is a -4
Around noon today, youll get a
text message. Do not open it. If
you do, your bank account will
automatically lose $200 and
that money will go straight to
K-States We Hate KU fund.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Today is a 25
Congratulations you just won
$1 million! Not really. But your
day will rock. A stranger will pay
for your morning coffee and your
ex will be publicly humiliated by
their current sig. other.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
Today is an 8
The tide is very low today, which
means you will be extra emotional. Avoid watching tear-jerkers
like The Notebook or Marley & Me.
Spend excessively; all Geminis
shop for 50 percent off today.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Today is a -3
Today is a creatively stressful
day; avoid long projects or brainstorming because you will come
up with absolutely nothing. You
will also be mistaken for Sarah
Palin just go with it.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
Today is a 12
Praise da lordt your prayers have
been answered. Your classes
will be canceled, youll get a $50
bonus at work and you will be
going to Mexico later this year
(reason not yet available).
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
Today is an 8
Womp womp womp...you failed
that test you really needed to ace.
But no need to worry you will
be picked up by the hottest person in the Boom Boom Room and
they will buy you all the shot$.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
Today is a 2
Avoid Jayhawk Blvd. today, otherwise youll run into Baby Jay and
knock her to the ground, causing
her to break her wing and be
unable to perform ever. again.
(Dont be that person).
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
Today is a 14
Yippie ki-yay! Youve been
crowned Royalty in the horoscope
department. Go to Chipotle, order
whatever your fancy, then at
the register simply show them
this page & you will receive free
Chipotle meals for the rest of
the week.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
Today is a 33
Today is a glorious day to be a
Sagittarius except have
an umbrella handy. You will have
a personal raincloud following
you until 6 p.m. After that, a unicorn will appear and take to an
underground party full of rainbow
margaritas and piatas.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
Today is a 7
Your grades will gradually rise, as
anything is possible these next
few weeks with Mars in Taurus.
Buy a Snickers: within the wrapper, therell be a promo code. Use
it with your next purchase of a
Crunchy Chicken Cheddar Wrap
and get a free pickle slice.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
Today is a 1
Avoid people today. Just dont
talk to any of them. If you do, only
gibberish will actually come out
of your mouth. The solution: skip
class, stay home and watch TV.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
Today is a 69
Head down to the Casino
today is your lucky day. Only
spend $23.69, and you will in
turn win $4000. Around 3 p.m.
you will pass a sexy single on
Jayhawk Blvd., approach them
and you will go on the best date
of your life.

FEELIN 22 AGAIN

PAGE 5A

Taylor Swift is no stranger to the Kansas campus. In

2009, Swift stepped on Jayhawk Boulevard to visit her
best friend, Abigail Anderson,
who was a sophomore at the
time. During her time at the
University, Swift sat in on a
journalism lecture, wandered
down Massachusetts Street
and spent quality time with
her BFF.
Now, years later, Swift is
coming back for more. Swift is
set to perform at Allen Fieldhouse in December 2015.
Swift will join the likes of
icons such as Bob Marley,
The Beach Boys, Elton John,
Tina Turner and several others who have all performed at
Allen Fieldhouse in the past.
A concert hasnt been held in
the Fieldhouse for nearly three
decades.
The announcement of Swifts
concert has been a work in
progress for weeks. While the
University pushed for a KU
News release, the savvy Swift
had an alternate idea. Her
two cats, Meredith and Olivia,
posted a video on their official
Facebook fan page late at night
on Tuesday, March 31. The
video featured the two cats,
both of whom were trained
by Swifts choreographer,
CHRIS SYKES/ASSOCIATED PRESS
dancing and lip-meowing to In this Dec. 31, 2014 file photo, Taylor Swift performs in Times Square during New Years Eve celebrations in New York. Swift announced she will perform at
Swifts Back to December.
Allen Fieldhouse in December 2015, the first concert at the sports complex in nearly three decades.
The video ends with a brief
explanation of why Swift
screen. I have been wanting
Early Tuesday morning, ics from her new song, 25, Student Union Activities and
chose the month of December to return to KU since 2009, Swift tweeted out teasers for which has yet to be released.
KJHK will co-sponsor the
for her concert.
and this is the perfect oppor- the upcoming show.
I know Ill thrive, when I event. Tickets will go on sale
I couldnt think of a better tunity. On December 13, I will
Cant w8 to debut two new turn 25... //I dont know about the week of finals.
way to celebrate my birthday, turn 25. Just 14 days later, the singles age is everything. you, but Bill feels 52. #25
This story will be updated as
which is on December 13, Jayhawks beloved Bill Self will #allenfieldhouse
#beware- #blessed #newsong
more information becomes
Swift says in the video as her turn 52. Coincidence? I think ofTSwift
The exact date of the con- available.
cats continue to dance on- not.
She later tweeted song lyr- cert has yet to be announced.

New Chipotle to open in Kansas Union

GRETCHEN WIENERS
@SoooFetchGretch

KU Dining Services announced Tuesday that due to

poor sales the Panda Express
on the third floor of the Kansas Union will be replaced
with a Chipotle.
University officials polled
2,000 random students via
email over the past few
weeks to gauge what food
students wanted on campus.
The overwhelming response was Chipotle, Ashlynn Collins, director of KU
Food Services said. There
really was no other choice
for us.

Im most definitely going to

be the first one in line when
it finally opens.
BRIDGETTE MEYER
Sophomore from Shawnee

This will be the fourth

Chipotle restaurant in Lawrence. Currently, the closest
Chipotle to campus is near
the intersection of 23rd
Street and Naismith Drive.
The two other locations are
on Massachusetts Street and
at the intersection of 6th
Street and Monterey Way.
Raquel Anderson, the
manager of the 23rd Street
location, spoke about the
opening of the new location.
The campus location will
close at 4 p.m., so we wont
have to compete for the dinner rush, Anderson said.
Many University students
voiced their approval when
the news was released Tuesday.
I cannot wait for a Chipotle on campus, said Bridgette
Meyer, a sophomore from
Shawnee. Im most definitely going to be the first one in
line when it finally opens.
The Chipotle is slated to
open in August 2015.

FRANK WEIRICH/KANSAN
KU Dining Services announced the Panda Express in the Kansas Union would be replaced with a Chipotle. The Chipotle is set to open in August 2015. The
decision was made due to low sales by the current Panda Express and a polling of students on campus.

PAGE 6A

THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN

WEDNESDAY, MARCHVEMBER 50, 2015

KANSAN PUZZLES
SPONSORED BY

SUDOKU

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CHECK OUT THE KANSAN MYSPACE LOL

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PAGE 7A

WEDNESDAY, MARCHVEMBER 50, 2015

THE DAILY DEBATE

Where should the NFL put another franchise?

Jesse Pinkman
@TotallyKafkaesque

NORTH KOREA

ts no secret that NFL

Commissioner Roger
Goodell wants to add
more franchise teams to
the league. Whether it is
in Los Angeles or London,
adding more teams to the
NFL can only help create
more worldwide interest in
football, as well as create more
interesting matchups and
rivalries.
My sources, who shall remain
anonymous, have informed me
that Goodell is interested in
establishing an NFL franchise
in Pyongyang, North Korea.
While this may not make much
sense at first, North Korea is the
perfect place to set up a new
NFL franchise.
One of the main reasons why
North Korea is such a fitting
place to establish a new NFL
franchise is that it would open
up a whole new fan base to
American football. It would also
give the people of North Korea
a team that they can cheer for.
With the advertising sponsors
that are sure to pop up, the
North Korean fans can also get
a taste of Western culture.

North Koreans can also get

jobs building and working at
the new stadium. The hundreds
of jobs the construction
of the new stadium would
create would greatly benefit
the North Korean economy,
possibly encouraging American
audiences to come to the
country to watch their favorite
team compete against the
North Korean team.
As he has already proven,
North Korean leader Kim
Jong-un has a love of certain
sports, such as basketball. There
is little reason to suspect that
he would not also like football.
He would also be interested in
the prospect of serving as the
owner, president and general
manager of the team sort
of like a North Korean Jerry
Jones (the owner, president and
general manager of the Dallas
Cowboys).
Some may be worried about
the long travel time from
America to North Korea. The
approximate flight time from
Kansas City to North Korea
is 17 hours. That is not much
longer than the flight time
from Kansas City to London,
which is about 11 hours. The
NFL already schedules yearly
football games in London
during the regular season, so

NORTH KOREAN
LEADER KIM
JONG-UN HAS A
LOVE OF CERTAIN
SPORTS, SUCH
AS BASKETBALL.
THERE IS LITTLE
REASON TO
SUSPECT THAT HE
WOULD NOT ALSO
LIKE FOOTBALL.
spending some more time on
a plane shouldnt be too much
of a problem for NFL teams or
American fans.
With all the talk of expansion
going around the NFL, it
only makes sense to expand
the league to international
locations. North Korea could
provide a brand new frontier
for a new NFL franchise to
thrive. Just think about it. It
wont be too much longer until
NFL fans are tuning in on
Sundays to watch the Kansas
City Chiefs vs. the Pyongyang
Raiders.

Sli Hughes
@poopypoop

BOSNIA AND
HERZEGOVINA

he NFL is a $9 billion
industry, but the
league has yet to
tap into the biggest part of
its market. The league and
commissioner Roger Goodell
have identified Europe as the
target for NFL expansion and
major NFL profit.
The NFL may be profiting in
the United States, but our goal
as an organization is to spread
the joy of pure football to the
rest of the world, Goodell said.

IT MAKES SO
MUCH SENSE TO
PUT AN NFL TEAM
IN BOSNIA AND
HERZEGOVINA
THAT FRANKLY, IM
STUNNED THE NFL
HASNT MADE THE
MOVE ALREADY.

The NFL has identified

Bosnia and Herzegovina as
its target audience for a new
expansion franchise.
Our players have expressed
interest in going to Europe, and
many of them saw Bosnia and
Herzegovina as a place theyd
love to spend their time, NFL
Players Association President
DeMaurice Smith said.
Despite that not one NFL
player has publicly expressed
interest in moving to Bosnia
and Herzegovina, the small
European country is still the
perfect place to put an NFL
franchise. Football is growing
in its popularity around the
globe, and in order to spread
to Europe, the NFL has to find
a place to start. Never mind
that Bosnia and Herzegovinas
population is roughly 1 percent
of the United States, its still
the ideal place to put an NFL
franchise.
If the team placed in Bosnia
and Herzegovina is successful,
word will spread to the rest
of Europe that football is a
profitable industry, and other
European countries will adopt
NFL franchises.
A franchise in Bosnia
and Herzegovina will allow
expansion into Europe
gradually, as most European

fans dont even know they want

an NFL team in their country
yet.
Fans will get excited to see the
game, and the construction of
the necessarily massive stadium
will strengthen the economy
and the value of entertainment
in the country. Once the NFL
begins to expand outside its
borders and create teams
all over Europe, Bosnia and
Herzegovina will be able to
claim that they have the oldest
NFL franchise overseas.
It makes so much sense to
put an NFL team in Bosnia
and Herzegovina that frankly,
Im stunned the NFL hasnt
made the move already. NFL
executives have been pushing
for a team in Europe since
2008, and now they have the
opportunity to put a team in the
ideal European country.
But dont ask NFL executives
how badly Bosnian and
Herzegovinian fans want an
NFL franchise, ask Edin Dzeko,
the captain of Bosnia and
Herzegovinas national soccer
team and the so called Bosnian
Diamond.
If they put an American
football team here, Im applying
for citizenship in England,
Dzeko said.

TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE

Marcus Foster regrets his time at Kansas State, wishes he had signed with Kansas

BEN LIPOWITZ/KANSAN
Former Kansas State guard Marcus Foster was released from the mens basketball team March 24. After his dismissal, Foster expressed regret for not choosing to play at the University of Kansas instead.

GRETCHEN WIENERS
@SoooFetchGretch

Former Kansas State guard

Marcus Foster was dismissed
on March 24 by coach Bruce
Weber for being unable to live
up to the standards expected of
(Kansas State) players.
A week after being kicked off
the team, Foster said he made
a mistake in choosing K-State.
I know you cant change the
past, but at this point in time,
I realize going to K-State was
wrong for me, Foster said.
Foster was a three-star recruit in the class of 2013 and
averaged 26.9 points, 11.7 rebounds and three assists per

game during his senior year of

high school, and had scholarship offers from Kansas State,
California, Creighton, Lehigh,
Oklahoma and SMU, according to Rivals.com.
He wasnt recruited by Kansas, but he said he wishes
things were different.
I wish I would have worked
harder in high school, so Kansas would have looked at me,
Foster said. You have to be
among the best of the best to be
recruited by KU.
Kansas coach Bill Self caught
wind of Fosters statements and
shot down the idea of recruiting him.
Its a shame that Marcus was

dismissed from the K-State

program, Self said. Unfortunately, our team is stacked in
his position, so signing here
wouldnt do him any good.

eos in his two years as a Wildcat. He also was found wandering the corridors of Allen
Fieldhouse after the Sunflower
Showdown this season.

If I hear Sandstorm one more time, Im going to rip my eardrums out. If someone shouts EMAW at me one more time, Im
going to lose my mind.

Foster has been known for

watching the entirety of the
Kansas basketball pregame vid-

MARCUS FOSTER
Former Kansas State guard

The tradition at KU is so
rich, Foster said. You cant not
want to be a part of something

like that. At KU, they make

shirts for championships. At
K-State, they make shirts for
beating KU.
In comparison, Kansas started its basketball program in
1898, and has a 2,101-812
all-time record, and is 188-93
against Kansas State. Kansas
has won five national championships (1922, 1923, 1952,
1988, 2008), and has been
national runner-up six times
(1940, 1953, 1957, 1993, 2003,
2012).
Kansas State began its program in 1902, and is 1,6121,121 all-time in competition.
The Wildcats have advanced
to the Final Four on four oc-

casions and were national runners-up in 1951.

The traditions that KU has
are in every way superior to the
traditions of K-State, Foster
said.
He didnt leave it at that. He
jumped into specifics.
If I hear Sandstorm one
more time, Im going to rip my
eardrums out, Foster said. If
someone shouts EMAW at
me one more time, Im going to
lose my mind.
Foster isnt sure what the
future holds for him, but he
knows one thing for sure.
Whatever school I go to next,
I hope its one that has even half
the appeal of KU, Foster said.

Volume 128 Issue 2

kansan.com

Wednesday, Marchvember 50, 2015

THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN

sports

COMMENTARY
Kansas should
schedule Wichita
State every year

WHAT COULDVE BEEN

Former Kansas State guard says he wishes he wouldve chosen Kansas | PAGE 7A

ROCK CHALK RENOVATIONS

Kansas Athletics to reallocate student seats behind baskets to donors

Gretchen Wieners
@SoooFetchGretch

ansas and Kansas State already

have the Sunflower
Showdown, and its one of
the longest ongoing rivalries
in the history of college athletics.
What about Kansas and
Wichita State? Sure, Wichita
State blew Kansas out of the
water in the Round of 32 in
the NCAA Tournament, but
it wasnt always like that.
The two schools used to
play each other back in the
day. And Kansas was on the
dominating end during that
series.
On Jan. 8, 1992, Kansas
crushed Wichita State 8151. Same story on Jan. 23,
1991, when Kansas defeated
Wichita State 84-50. How
about on Jan. 4, 1990 when
the Jayhawks annihilated the
Shockers 93-66? The year
before that, on Jan. 25 1989,
Kansas defeated Wichita
State 86-66. In 1985, Kansas
defeated Wichita State 8156. Need I continue?
Wichita State has only defeated Kansas twice: in 1981
and 1987, the year before
Kansas won the national
championship. And in 1987
the Shockers only won by
five.
One game cant determine
the Kings of Kansas. If you
look at the track record,
Kansas is obviously better
than Wichita State.
To determine the true
Kings of Kansas, KU, Kansas State and Wichita State
need to play in a triangular
tournament every year. That
way, there is no debate who
wins the state. There will
be no tomfoolery by state
officials who think its OK
to wear a shirt with all the
mascots on it.
Even if the triangular idea
falls, through, Kansas and
Wichita State need to play
every year. Kansas needs
some sort of rivalry that
can try to replace the Border War. Lord knows Kansas
State doesnt live up to that.
What should we call this
rivalry? Like mentioned before, Sunflower Showdown
is already taken. The winner
could be called Guardians of
the Wheat or something like
that, because when Kansas
wins (which happens more
than for Wichita State) the
fans Wave the Wheat. And
everyone knows that the
Shockers mascot is actually
a shock of wheat.
What kind of mascot is a
Shocker anyway? Is a shock
of wheat really that intimidating? I dont think so.
Everyone (unless youre gluten intolerant) eats wheat.
There is nothing scary
about wheat. A Jayhawk on
the other hand is one of the
most prolific mascots in the
history of college athletics. A mythical bird that is
based on how Kansans basically tore apart the state of
Missouri in the civil war is
much, much scarier than a
little shock of wheat.

FRANK WEIRICH/KANSAN
Kansas students throw confetti to show support for Kansas starting lineup against TCU this season. Kansas Athletics has decided to remove more seats from the student section to accommodate more donors.

ELIZA THORNBERRY
@ExcitedEliza

Similar to Kansas Athletics

decision to remove Section
U from the student section
almost a year ago, Kansas
Athletic Director Sheahon
Zenger announced on Tuesday that the University will
be knocking out the student
section seats behind each basket in order to accommodate
more donor seats.
In the press release, Zenger
said the current plan is to
move the students to the upper bowl in sections 1, 11, 12
and 22, saying that he thinks
it will help the students basketball IQ as a whole.
Its a much better view any-

way, Zenger said. Students

will appreciate the perspective and learn the game better.
Maybe then theyll quit with
their incessant booing and
overall ignorance.
Realizing Athletics could
make even more of a profit than last season, Zenger
jumped on the opportunity.
He plans to charge $10,000
per seat for a season ticket
to the new club-level donor
sections, which will result in
more than $500,000 of added
revenue.
Its too good of a deal to
pass up, Zenger said.
The new club-level sections
will include an open bar and a
gourmet buffet. Donors must
donate at least $50,000 a year

to the Williams Fund to be eligible to purchase a ticket for

these sections.
Zenger also announced
plans to limit student entrance by offering a mandatory basketball rules test in order to enter the stadium. One
of the NCAAs top referees,
John Higgins, will administer
the test.
Higgins is currently leading
the nation in technical fouls
given with 41, and he sits at
sixth out of all referees in total fouls called this season,
with 3,397.
Higgins was said to be ecstatic about the new job, adding that he would relish any
opportunity to yell at college
kids.

Thats why I do it, Higgins said. Life wouldnt be

worth living if I couldnt give
19-year-old kids technical
fouls for flexing after dunks.
Thats the American dream.
Kansas basketball big men
Jamari Traylor and Landen
Lucas also said they felt the
rule was for the best. Lucas
said if it were up to him, the
Jayhawks would play in an
empty arena, whereas Traylor felt that it was a simple
matter of fairness.
We already have the refs
in our back pocket, and having a crowd thats on our side
just doesnt seem fair, Traylor
said.
The two said they hope to
see some of the other sports

follow in the direction of basketball, removing all student

seats and pushing them as far
away from the action as possible, although it remains to
be seen what more dominos
will fall.
Right now, there are no more
plans to remodel the historic
Allen Fieldhouse, but Zenger
said he wouldnt rule out the
possibility of demolishing the
Fieldhouse and converting
Ambler Student Recreation
Fitness Center into a fulltime basketball arena.
I dont see there being any
resistance to that, Zenger
said. Its not like we have that
rich of a basketball history
here anyway.

Kentucky 2012 championship vacated

NCAA: Calipari
broke recruiting
rules; Kansas
now receives title
SLIM SHADY

@WhasMyName?
Even though Kansas lost 6759 to Kentucky in the 2012 national championship game, the
Wildcats have been forced to
vacate the championship win
after the NCAA found recruiting violations.
The decision came after the
NCAA reported John Calipari
bought current New Orleans
Pelicans forward Anthony Davis a 1994 Ford Tempo during
Davis senior year of high
school.
I thought the car was cool
enough to persuade Davis to
Kentucky, but not expensive
enough for the NCAA to find
out, Calipari said. I guess I
was wrong and now I have to
forfeit another championship.
Calipari said he isnt disappointed in his actions but having his third Final Four trip
vacated really taught him a life
lesson. He said he wont cheat

The rest of the 2012 Kentucky

team feels like they came out
on top even without the 2012
national championship.
What can I say? I made more
money at Kentucky than I do
in the NBA, former Kentucky
guard Michael Kidd-Gilchrist
said. Coach Cal gave me the
chance to go to the NBA, and
I left college with a degree and
a bunch of cash in my pocket.
The Wildcat fans might be
upset about losing, but the
Kansas fans are ecstatic.
This is the best day ever,
said senior Tim Jones from
Lawrence. I thought I would
never see a national championship before I graduated, and
now, I can say I was part of a
championship season as a student.
Coach Bill Self was shocked
FILE PHOTO/KANSAN and excited that he can add
The 2012 Kansas basketball team has now been declared the NCAA champions. a second title to his resume,
and the sixth national title
again.
Man, this is some straight
This loss really hits home, BS, Davis said. Cal gave me will hang in Allen Fieldhouse.
I was wondering when this
Calipari said. I thought I was a Ford Tempo. If I knew this
going to get away with this would happen, I would have would happen, Self said. It
one, but it scared me straight. I asked for a better car. I de- look a little longer than I exwont give another player a car served a Benz or something pected.
The 2014-15 season wasnt a
or dollar again.
like that.
Davis, who won the most
Davis said that he wont talk success in Self s eyes, but he
valuable player of the 2012 to Calipari ever again because said reclaiming the 2012 title
championship game, will have he feels as if Calipari let the brings a twinkle to his eye.
In 2012, that was one of the
to forfeit that accolade as well, Kentucky team down, but hes
and Davis isnt happy about it.
the only one that feels that way. most disappointing ends to

a championship run that Ive

ever experienced, but now I
can enjoy it, Self said. I just
cant wait to see that new 2012
NCAA banner in the rafters.
The team will be welcomed
back on April 18 to celebrate
the championship by parading down Massachusetts Street
with a closing ceremony in
Memorial Stadium.
Former Kansas forward
Thomas Robinson, who posted a double-double in the
championship game with 18
points and 17 rebounds, will
be the master of ceremonies
and speak to the Kansas fans
in attendance.
I had such a good game
against that Kentucky team,
and I thought we deserved the
win anyways, Robinson said.
Im glad I can look back on
how my career ended and say
it ended on a winning streak
instead of a big fat L.
Former
Kansas
guard
Tyshawn Taylor, who had a
team-high 19 points in the
game, was shocked at the nature of the NCAA violation.
That stinks that [Anthony
Davis] didnt get something
more out of the deal, Taylor
said. At least he can afford a
nice car now.