2/19/2015

iReader

HACKINGPASSION
Iwantedtobeextraordinary.
IfIcouldhavechosenat15whattobeextraordinaryat,Iprobablywouldhavepickedscience.I
likedscience.Iwasprettygoodatit,too,butnotextraordinary.
Ihadboughtintothatideathattalentissomesortofgeneticboolean.Youeitherhaveit,oryou
don't.You'rebornwithit,oryou'renot.AndI,apparently,wasnot.At15Ihadnotshowna
single glimmer of extraordinary talent in anything, and because scientists do their best work
whenthey'reyoung,andIwasalready15,Ifigureditwasprobablytoolate.
SoIpivoted.
ForyearsItriedtoferretoutmyinnatetalent.
I was going to be a potter. I was an apprentice potter. For about a week. Then I was an
apprenticeartisanwoodworkerformaybe6months,andthenIwaslikescrewthis,I'mgoing
tohighschool.Ofperformingarts.After3yearsonthetenorsaxophoneitwasobviousthatI
wasn'tcutouttobeajazzmusician.Iwasprettygoodatcomposingstuff,likebaroquechoral
music,soIpreparedanapplicationforacollegeofmusicalcompositionforfilm.BeforeIeven
sent off the application I tried out for a theatre school, and after a week of auditions I was,
inexplicably,acceptedasastudent.Afterayear,Icouldtellyouwithcertaintythattheatrewas
notmytalent.Neitherwasballet.Orfencing.OrcontemporaryFrenchcircus.
I tried a lot of things. And not halfheartedly, either. I worked really hard, but whenever
somethingwasdifficulttherewasthisvoicethatreasoned,"Itmustnotbemytalent,"because
haditbeenmygift,itwouldhavecomenaturally.QED.
Ibelievedinthegeneticexplanationofgreatness.Ithoughtyoujustneededtostumbleacross
thataccidentalmatch,tofindthelockforwhichyouarethekey.
Inevitably, by aiming in every possible direction at once hoping to hit a target, I wandered
blindlyintoalowpayingjobwheretheonlyrequirementwasthatyoucouldtype80wpm.
I woke up on my 25th birthday thinking, "Fuck! A quarter century? I'm a washed up
evolutionarydeadendinabackwaterdeadendlife."
I performed a reality check and came to the conclusion that even if I couldn't be a great
scientist, I could still probably be a toptier mediocre scientist. All I needed was a university
degreeinsomethingscientific.
Havingmajoredinsaxophoneinhighschooltherewereremedialcreditsinvolved.Ibeganto
teachmyselfmath,physics,andchemistry.
SinceIknewIwasn'ttalented,Ididn'texpectittobeeasyIexpectedtosuck.Isimplystarted
atthebeginninganddidonethingatatime,bythebook,untilIlearnedit,andthenmovedon.

http://www.kytrinyx.com/blog/hackingpassion

1/7

2/19/2015

iReader

atthebeginninganddidonethingatatime,bythebook,untilIlearnedit,andthenmovedon.
WheneverIpanicked,I'dremindmyselfthatthisisnotrocketscience.It'sbasicmath.IfIdon't
understandit,Imustjusthaveskippedastep.SoI'dslowdownanddosomeresearchandsure
enough,withinafewhoursordaysI'dberightbackontrack,cheerfullyslogging.
IfoundthatIwasbalancingonacontinuum,andthattherewasasweetspot,andthatsweet
spothadnothingtodowithmathorphysics.
Itworkslikethis:
You'reaskedtoperformaparticularsaxophonetuneat88beatsperminute.Thisfallswithin
yourcapabilities,soyoucanperformthetaskeffortlessly,confidently.Whileyou'redoingso,
you can think about other things, for example how to adjust your attack based on what the
drummerisdoing.Youcanreacttosomethingthathappensintheaudiencewithoutfumbling
orlosingyourplace.
Nowyouareaskedtoplaythatsametuneat105beatsperminute,andyoucandothis,butit
requireseverybitofconcentrationthatyoucanmuster.Yourskilllevelisperfectlybalancedby
thechallenge.Thedifficultyoftheexerciseisbarelymetbyyourability.You'rebeingstretched.
Being stretched is painful. Remaining at that place, that painful place that stretches you,
requires a monumental effort. It's exhausting. It's hard. It's not fun. It is also satisfying.
Empowering.Deeplyrewarding.
Whenyou'reaskedtoplaythatsaxophonetuneat120beatsperminuteyoupanic.Yousimply
cannot do it. The challenge has no counterpart whatsoever in your skill. You flail. Your
executivefunctionshutsdown,andyouroutputbecomeserratic.It'sterrifying.
Thiscontinuumisameasureofhoweffortlesslyyoucanperformagiventask.
Atoneendofthecontinuum,youhaveyourcomfortzonewhereyouperformeffortlessly.You
don'tlevelupinyourcomfortzone,becauseyou'redoingstuffyoualreadyknowhowtodo.At
theotherendofthescaleyouhaveyourpaniczone,whereyoudon'tlevelup,becauseyou're
busyfreakingout.Betweenthetwothereisaspacewhereyourabilityandthechallengebarely
overlap.Thisiswhereyoulevelup.
I'mnotsayingyoushouldneverbeinyourcomfortzoneorpaniczone.Notatall.Yourcomfort
zone is where skills become reflexive, and you have the capacity to handle higherlevel
thinking.Youshouldabsolutelyspendtimethere,especiallywhenyouneedtobeproductive.
Your panic zone is an excellent place to experiment, to play, and to find your boundaries,
becauseaslongasyoudon'tneedtobedeliveringvalue,thatfearcanbetransformedintothrill
and discovery. You should absolutely spend time there, but not when people are paying you
money.
In other words, you should spend time in your comfort zone and your panic zone, you just
shouldn'ttryto*learnstuff*there.
Ispentmonthsworkingthroughmathandphysicsproblems,andduringthattimeIlearnedas
2/7

http://www.kytrinyx.com/blog/hackingpassion

2/19/2015

iReader

Ispentmonthsworkingthroughmathandphysicsproblems,andduringthattimeIlearnedas
muchaboutpracticeasIdidaboutcalculusandmechanics.
Practiceisastrangebeast.It'snotplay.It'snotintendedtobefun.It'salsonotwork.It'snot
intendedtoproduceanything.Practiceisathingentirelyuntoitself.
What many people commonly think of as practice is futzing around kind of doing stuff that
seemsrelevanttowhatyouthinkyoumightwanttokindofgetbetterat.
Thissometimeskindofworks.
Forpracticetobetrulyeffective,itshouldbefocusedanddeliberate.
Themostbasicformofpracticeisthedrill.Agooddrillboilsdowntothreeelements:focus,
repetition,andcontinuousfeedback.
Adrilltakesanactivityandwarpsituntilyouarefocusingonanarrowsliceofthatskillina
waythatisrepeatable,andprovidesimmediateandcontinuousfeedback.
How narrow a slice depends on your capability. If youre in your comfort zone, you need to
ratchetupthatdrillanotch.Ifyou'reinyourpaniczone,youradaptationswillberandomand
accidentalandyouwillfindyourselfpracticingdoingitwrongalotmorethanyou'llpractice
doingitright.
Practice doesn't make perfect, it makes permanent. If you're practicing in your panic zone,
you'llendupbeingpermanentlywrong.Youwanttofindthatsweetspot,thespacewhereyour
abilityandthechallengebarelyoverlap.
So:chooseonethingthatyoucankindofalmostdo.Deliberatelywarpittofocusonaspecific
aspectofthatskill,makeitrepeatablesoyoucandoitoverandoverandover,andthenmake
thefeedbackloopasshortaspossible.Thengodoit.
Thentakeanap.
Notallfocusedanddeliberatepracticeactivitiesaredrills.
Takesimulations,forexample.
In sports, you have scrimmages. In therapy, it's called role play. In programming, we do
weekendprojectsandhackfestsandcoderetreats.
Insimulationsyouimproviseasthoughitweretherealthing.Ifyoumakeamistake,nobody
dies.Youdon'tlose.Youdon'tfail.Youalsodon'tstopandimmediatelygobackanddoitover
correctly.That'swhatdrillsarefor.Inasimulationyoukeepgoing.
Simulationsdon'twarpactivities,theyintensifythem.Youcreateopportunities.Youprovidea
more concentrated learning experience by putting together unlikely combinations of
implausibleoccurrences.
Anotherinterestingtypeofpracticeisthecasestudy.

http://www.kytrinyx.com/blog/hackingpassion

3/7

2/19/2015

iReader

Anotherinterestingtypeofpracticeisthecasestudy.
Athleteswatchvideosoftheirpracticesessionsandperformances.Chessplayersstudygames
played by grand masters and try to determine what the next move would be, and then when
they'rewrong,theyanalysewhy.
Inprogramming,readingcodeisacasestudy:Whatweretheythinking?Whatpressuresmade
themchoosethisapproach?Whatarethetradeoffs?
Casestudiesareaboutobservation,analysis,andcriticalthinking.
Thenthere'sdirectpractice,theprecisenotesandperfectpausesofaviolinistplayingaconcert
piecewhilenobody'slistening.
Directpractice,whendonedeliberatelyandwithfocus,honesclockworkprecision,makingit
reflexive. When you're free to shift your attention away from the mechanics of your
performance you can focus all your creativity on the subtle details that lift your performance
fromthemundanetotheexquisite.
Wetendtoassociatedirectpracticewithmusicians,butitisjustasmuchthedomainofstand
upcomedians,triallawyers,andcontemporaryFrenchcircusacrobats.
Andthenthereisimitation:overlooked,andundervalued.
As a beginner, you don't know what you don't know. Imitating masters will teach you things
thatyoudontknowyouneedtoknow,andoftenthingsthatthemastersthemselvesareunable
toarticulate.
Our culture hypes individuality and creative selfexpression, but it's difficult to be creative
withouthavinginternalizedavaststoreoftechniques,licks,andidioms.
Don'tbeasnowflake.Gocopysomeonewhoknowswhatthey'redoing.
Nomatterwhattypeofpracticeyou'redoing,nomatterhowgoodyouare,practiceisgruelling.
Drills,simulations,casestudies,directpractice,andimitation,theseareallwaysofstretching
you to the edge of your ability. It's equally difficult for experts as it is beginners. That said,
practiceisparticularlychallengingwhenyou'regrosslyincompetent.Notbecauseyousuckper
se,butbecausefeelingstupidissopowerfullyunpleasant.Thisisoneoftheimportantdrivers
behindprocrastination.Whenyou'refeelingoverwhelmedbyyourownineptitudeit'seasyto
becomefatalistic.
Another disadvantage to being a beginner is that many practice activities lack inherent
feedback. When you're vastly unskilled, your judgement is completely unreliable. Everything,
including the right thing, feels wrong. It's very easy to consistently make the wrong
adjustments,leavingyouwithdeeplyingrainedbadhabits.
It took me 18 months to pass all of the prerequisite exams, and then I was ready to apply to
University.
http://www.kytrinyx.com/blog/hackingpassion

4/7

2/19/2015

University.

iReader

I was accepted to two study programs: One in Aerospace Engineering, and another in
Molecular Biology. When people around me realised that I was serious about this university
thing,Igotabitofpushback.Theywerelike:Holycrap,you'regoingtobe,like,32bythetime
youfinish.
Ifwe'regoingtoberealisticaboutit,though,Iwasgoingtobe32anyway.
IpickedMolecularBiology.
Universitywascompletelyuneventful.Iwrotepapers,Ididlabwork,Ireadbooks,andItook
exams. It changed my life. Not so much because of the papers and exams, but because I was
practicing,Iwaslearning,andIwasintroducedtothebashprompt.
Beforeuniversity,Ihadoccasionallyexperiencedflow,mostlywhensolvingtrussproblemsin
mechanics.Tellingthecomputerwhattodowasliketrussproblems.Exceptbetter.
Ikeptcomingbacktoandexploringprogramming.Exploring,notlearning.LearningiswhatI
didwithmathandphysics.Thatwasasteady,tedious,rewardingdietofdeliberateandfocused
practice. It took me quite a long time to transition from exploring to learning programming.
EvenwhenIdidmakethetransition,itwashitormiss.TheresourcesIfoundwereconfusing
oroutdated,orjusthopelesslyadvanced.
After3yearsIhadaBachelor'sdegreeinMolecularBiology,somebasicabilitytowritecontrol
structures,andfarmoreimportantly,Ihadcometoacceptthattalentisnotboolean.It's*not*
someinnategenetictraitthatyouhavetogolookforandmayormaynotfind.
Thetruthis:talentisbullshit.
Skillcanbedevelopedsystematically.ASYSTEMis*awesome*.Asystem,youcanunderstand.
AsystemyoucanHACK.
Thetechnicaltermforlevellingupiscalledskillacquisition.
Acoupleofresearchers,apairofbrothersbythenameofDreyfus,createdamodelofhowskill
developmentworks.Thescalegoeslikethis:
Novice:whereyouknownothing
Advancedbeginner:whereyoustillsuck,butyoustartseeingwhatthismightbeabout
Competent:whereyoucanstartgettingshitdone
Proficient:whereyougetshitdonereallywell
Expert:wheretheshityougetdoneseemslikemagictoprettymucheveryoneelse.
When we are novices we can be in one of two states. The first is mindless obedience. The
secondisoverwhelmed.Asanovicewe'reintheunenviablepositionofbeingonlymillimetres
awayfromourpaniczoneatalltimes.Ifaruleisunclear,we'restuck.Ifweaccidentallyskipa
step,we'restuck.Ifaresultdeviatesevenslightlyfromwhatweexpected,we'restuck.Wehave
noframeofreference.
http://www.kytrinyx.com/blog/hackingpassion

5/7

2/19/2015

noframeofreference.

iReader

When we're advanced beginners we see one thousand disconnected details, and give each of
these details equal consideration. There's no cohesion. We're unable to distinguish between
relevant,irrelevant,andincidental.Wecanlookthingsup,butwecan'ttroubleshoot.
Whenwe'recompetent,wegaintheabilitytoevaluaterelevancewithinacontext.Wealsogain
theabilitytofollowroutineproceduresanddobasictroubleshooting.Here,wecanactuallybe
productivewithouthavingtostepoutsideofourcomfortzone,whichisprobablywhysomany
peoplestagnateatthisskilllevelindefinitely.
When we're proficient we can make much finer discriminations. We're able to evaluate the
significance of subtle indicators. We look further ahead. We make predictions. We
prognosticate. We recognise underlying patterns. We're able to apply overarching principles.
Alltheintricaciesofthesubjectmattercometogetherinavastandfascinatingweb.
When we're experts we see a thousand details, and immediately disregard 999 of them. We
focusinontheonethatmatters.Howdowedoit?Noidea.Wedon'tknowhowweknowwhat
weknow.Somepeopletalkaboutinstinctorintuition,asthoughit'ssomesortofsuperpower,
but it's not magical. It's powerful processing that happens very, very quickly. It's based on a
gargantuanstoreofknowledgeandexperience.
Described in this way, skill development sounds so sequential and regular and inevitable,
levelling up in a series of climaxes. Win after win after win, as though life were a television
commercial.
Thisisascientificmodel.AmodelislikeaUMLdiagramforscience:it'sasimplificationabout
the world, a useful lie that you tell yourself in order to navigate a messy reality. Sequential?
Sure.Regular?Hardly.Inevitable?Weshouldbesolucky.
Lifeismessy.Levellinguphappensinspurtsandsuddensurges,andthereareplateaus.Alot
ofpeopleseemtodreadtheplateaus,doingtheirbesttohurrypastthem,alwayswithaneyeon
thegoal.AmIthereyet?AmIdoneyet?AmIgoodyet?
Plateaus are neurologically important, the way sleep is neurologically important. They're
injectingtimeintoyourpractice,allowingcomplexskillstobecomedeeplyembedded.
Plateausarewhereyourskillisbeingrefactoredsoyoucanscale.Ifyouareinarush,youwill
endupwithbrittleandfragileskill.
Focusonwhatyou'redoing,nothowyou'redoing.
There's a saying: "Amateurs practice until they get it right. Professionals practice until they
can'tgetitwrong."That'swhattheplateausareabout.Theyputthe"level"in"levelup."
Iusedmyuniversitydegreeexactlyonce,forthefirstrealprogrammingjobIgot.TheCTOofa
startup looked at my resume and said: "Huh. A degree in Molecular Biology and Biological
Chemistry.Youmustbeprettysmart."Andshegavemeajob.
http://www.kytrinyx.com/blog/hackingpassion

6/7

2/19/2015

iReader

Itwastheculminationofalotofhardworkandpractice,andthestartofalotmorehardwork
andpractice.
I thought I wanted to be extraordinary, but what I really craved was passion, and that deep
senseofsatisfactionthatcomeswithfocusandaccomplishment.
Masteryisn'taboutperfection.
Skill grows by focusing intently on the things that stretch you. Passion grows by giving
somethingyourfullattentionlongenoughtogaindepthandunderstandnuances.
Talentisbullshit.Skilliscultivated.Passioniscurated.
Hackingskill*is*hackingpassion.
Don'tdowhatyoulove.Dosomethingwellenoughtolovewhatyoudo.

www.kytrinyx.com
http://www.kytrinyx.com/blog/hackingpassion
http://goo.gl/ffgS

http://www.kytrinyx.com/blog/hackingpassion

7/7