A s k i l l f u l l e e c h i s b e t t e r f a r , t h a n h a l f a h u n d r e d m e n o f w a r .

Samuel Butler

$2,496,026.85

VOLUME FOUR

I S S U E 17

0 4 . 2 3 .15

Waylon's Third
Throwdown!
Around and About, Page 4

Figuring Out Jim Poage | Brant Freeman on Sports | The Other Clinton

P L U S : 7 D AY N E W B R A U N F E L S L I V E M U S I C G U I D E

THE RESULTS
ARE
IN!
PAGE 14

All original content is copyright

TX Citizen. TX Citizen is published
every Thursday.

TX CITIZEN
1111 N. Walnut Avenue
New Braunfels, TX 78130
830.358.2493

One copy (per person) of TX

Citizen is available free of
charge, with the prior written
consent of TX Citizen required
to remove multiple copies from
distribution points. Multiple copies
and back issues are available at
TX Citizen offices for $2.50 each.

STAFF / CONTACT
Publisher/Editor-in-Chief Mike Reynolds
Director of Distribution Chase Cochran
Art Director Kayla Wallace
Editorial: news@txcitizen.com
Advertising: sales@txcitizen.com
Distribution: distribution@txcitizen.com

PHOTO CREDITS
Cover, Around & About
Amy Painter Photography
830.822.5962 www.amypainter.com
Feature Story
Oscar Decker

830.358.2493

table

of

contents

Unfair Pie Chart

While checking into Jay Hix Jones'

lies about New Braunfels, we
discovered something worth noting.

Feature Story

Stones Exhibit Rolls into Town

4
7

Citizen
Soundcheck
The ONLY guide of its kind
for the NB/SM Metroplex!

The Countys
Most Wanted

Look Daddy!
Mommys in the paper!

Sports

11

Brant Freeman Joins

the TXC Staff

12

RESULTS!

/TXCitizen

989 Loop 337 830.626.2253

FRIday
Joel Hoffman Band 9pm
SATURday
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neutral and cost-benefit analysis

and so forth Im not saying
they arent there, but were
talking about millions of dollars
here and a pretty good chunk
of our reserves without data
that exists... somewhere to kind
of talk about the revenue.
WHAT? This is unusual coming from

MIKE
REYNOLDS

As yall know, we finally got

all those 4-B and Chamber of
Commerce contracts that our
rabid-for-info readers put up the
cash for back in February. Its
not just a Trapper-Keeper full o
paperwork, its thousands of pages
that somebody has to dig through in order to
bring forth the sweet statistical goodness that
lay within. That somebody is Chase Cochran.
For the record, while this column is
technically written by me, Mike Reynolds,
much of the heavy lifting associated with
putting these things together is often borne by
one of my business partners in this endeavor,
The Chase. I dont go through thousands of
pages of anything, attend Council meetings
or keep an eye on the banal daily doings
of other local media. Any one of those tasks
would make me bug-nutty. Chase is way
younger than I am, and doesnt yet appreciate
the damage all that exposure to government/
media nonsense is doing to his general health.
So please keep in mind, especially over
the next few months as we dig deep into the
4-B and Chamber of Commerce contracts,
that somebody had to sit at a desk and pore
through the stuff. And tonight, to paraphrase
a one Mr Bono of the U2 band, thank God
its Chase, instead of you.

Jim Poage: From Hero to

Zero in Fifteen Minutes
Last week, 4-B Board member Jim Poage
had us thinking that perhaps things were
changing over at 4-B. He was the lone vote
against the Boards approval of $3.2 million
for a pool and a gym at the new recreation
center. It wasnt his vote against the project
that got our attention, it was his stated reason
for the dissent, as published in the April 15
edition of the HZ. Check this out:
My concerns are that there appear to
be a bunch of numbers that maybe some of
us have seen, but a lot of us havent seen with
regards to cracking up revenue, (revenue)TXCITIZEN.COM

a 4-B guy. So we checked into Jim Poage a

wee bit more and found out some stuff that we
would have been much happier not knowing.
All the air went out of the newsroom when
we discovered that its business as usual at
4-B. It was all weeping, gnashing of teeth,
and rending of garments up in here.
Weve been harping on 4-B for a good
long while about their corporate welfare
program, and their tight-fistedness when it
comes to projects that benefit the community
in general. This was a perfect move for 4-B
hand over a heapin hepin of cash for a City
recreation center, and get the heat theyve
been taking over the last couple years turned
down a few notches. But then Poage had to
speak up. Man, sometimes we just get lucky.
While Poages reason reinforces our
own complaints about 4-Bs recklessness
with public funds, there might be more to his
motivation than meets the eye. Poage isnt
just a member of 4-B, hes the former CEO
of StarTech, a San Antonio-based, taxpayer
funded foundation specializing in the
redistribution of, well, taxpayer funds from
public coffers to private hands, much like 4-B.
StarTech went under in 2013. Well dig
into that meaty goodness next week, and drop
something on you none of us saw coming - and
that 4-B figured we wouldnt notice. #barnburner
\m/
Mike Reynolds
Publisher/Editor-in-Chief

Chase Cochran contributed to this story, and should be

named as a co-defendant in any litigation pending as a
result of its publication.

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friday

AROUND&ABOUT

The third annual throwdown to benefit Waylon

Gruene Malone went off last weekend out at
the River Road Icehouse. Between all the live
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house, close to $15,000 was raised to help
Waylon beat neuroblastoma! We're all pulling
for ya buddy! #conquerthedragon

DJKC Crushes the Jam

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Reality television producer (Hoarders, 1,000 Ways to Die), evangelical Christian, and noted
make-stuff-up-to-terrify-people-and-promote-his-project enthusiast Jay Hix Jones is coming to

Saturday, May 2
from 10am to 3pm

New Braunfels this Memorial Day weekend, high-profile media preachers in tow, to save our
fair city from itself.
Hix Jones has publicly stated that rapes increase ten-fold during the weekend in question,
and while were still compiling the stats provided to us by the NBPD, we found a couple
courtesy of TXDPS that were downright shocking, and that might cause Jay to rethink the
target of his production.
According to the Texas Department of Public Safety, there were more sexual assaults in
Texas churches than rivers and lakes in 2013 (the most recent year data are available for):

2013 texas Sexual Assaults - location comparison

Sexual Assaults
in Churches

Hands-on Activities
Nutrena Feed Reps
Local Horse Clubs

Sexual Assaults
in Waterways
830.626.3026 tractorsupply.com

54
71

jay

Total Sexual Assault Pool for these Locations: 125

Granted, that ratio probably changes significantly in favor of the churches if sexual assaults
against minors are removed from the calculations.

Is there data youd like to see unfairly graphed?

Send your suggestions to news@txcitizen.com.
TXCITIZEN.COM

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,
s
e
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Sto
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a
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By Nick Rogers
Who is your all-time favorite University of
Texas Longhorn football player?
What is your favorite Rolling Stones song?
Im quite sure more people can answer the

For those who dont know, the backline

is, simply, an area behind the stage where all be a blend of both of those perspectives. You
of the equipment and instruments are.
Because his work differs from the standard

second question. This is why the Comal chapter fare, two of Deckers photographs of the
of the UT alumni organization, TexasExes,

will get to see whats behind the scenes, which

heavily on that, Campos, a former UT

football player said.
Chapters will get former coaches or

most people never get to see. You get to see former players to speak to their groups to
all of the amazing vintage equipment, and all

raise funds. But, I think, people are tired of

backline are part of the Stones exhibit at the of the nuts and bolts that go into each show.

that. The University of Texas is so much more

is hoping to raise funds for their scholarship Rock n Roll Hall of Fame. Certainly there are
program by utilizing the Rolling Stones.

as well as in front, he said. The exhibit will

photos of the band, but there are also photos

How the band acquires much of its than a football program and I think what
phenomenal vintage equipment resembles Oscars exhibit demonstrates is part of that

On Saturday, May 2, Comal TexasExes of the backline. Musicians and gearheads will a swap meet.
will hold a photo exhibit downtown at the drool at the vast array of vintage equipment

Wherever the Rolling Stones are

diversity. How many people attending the

Wine and Saengerfest are going to care

Seekatz Opera House during Wine and

and instruments. For those who are not, the playing, people will come out of the about UT football? But how many of that

Saengerfest. The exhibit features photos

exhibit offers a chance to see the complexity woodwork with equipment to the venues,

by Oscar Decker, who had unheard of

involved in putting on a big concert.

backstage access during the Stones tours

from 1994-2005.

crowd has heard of the Rolling Stones?

the photographer said. They bring guitars

This is fourth time Decker has donated his

Being on the level that the Stones are

and small amplifiers, and we would take

work to raise funds for charitable causes since

at, there is always a test of ones nerves

them into a special room called the tuning

moving to New Braunfels. The photographer

A fresh resident to New Braunfels,

because everything is on a tight schedule, and room. The band would come in and pick

Decker had spent 50 years playing music

everything has to be in the right place at the up the instruments and try them out. If they

is a 1974 graduate of the University.

and being part of the music scene in Austin,

right time, Decker said. I dont think I have liked the guitars, they would hand us some Austin relocating here and Oscar is a good a

Were getting a lot of people from

where he made numerous industry contacts. ever seen a better organized system than the cash, which we would take to the guys

good example, Campos said. He had just

One of those gave Decker the chance to go

moved here and wanted to get involved in

Rolling Stones. Decker said that a Rolling sitting outside the gates. These guys would

backstage to a Stones concert at the Cotton Stones production requires a crew of 200 and

bring the cream of the crop, old Gibsons, the community. I think thats how were going

Bowl. There, he met Chuch Magee, who anywhere between 70-125 semi trucks. This is Fenders, Martins.

to grow our organization because it isnt

served as the bands backline manager. The partly because the band travels with two stage

coming from recent graduates.

two became close friends, and Decker was

sets so that while they are playing in one city,

able to travel with the band and take photos the set is being put together in the next stop.
of the massive operations that are involved in
a Rolling Stones production.
TXCITIZEN.COM

What makes the collection interesting is

because they allowed me behind the scenes

Ben Campos, president of the Comal

branch of TexasExes, hopes that Deckers

The exhibit will run from noon-6 p.m. All

exhibit will bring in a new and diverse crowd.

of the proceeds from the exhibit will benefit

Because our football culture is so will go to the scholarship fund. Visitors will be
strong at the University, weve leaned too asked to make a donation at the door.
7

UID
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V
YOUR LI
Thu 4.23
Adobe Verde
Josh Holden
6pm

Oma Gruenes Secret Garten

Jam Night
6pm

Phoenix Saloon
Scott Boddicker
5pm

Rileys Tavern
Dallas Moore Band
9pm

AJs Ale House

Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show
9pm

Billys Ice House

Moonlight Social
8pm

Gruene Hall

Hippy Gypsy

Rileys Tavern

River Road Ice House

Knotty Grove

Joel Hoffman Band

Thieving Birds

6pm

9pm

8pm

The Pour Haus

Matt Kersh
8pm

River Road Ice House

Will Kimbrough
8pm

Fri 4.24
Adobe Verde
Trace Owen Jr
6:30pm

The Happy Cow

Watering Hole Saloon

TBA
8pm

AJs Ale House

Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show
9pm

Alpine Haus Restaurant

Off the Grid Polka Band
6pm

Billys Ice House

Vino en Verde
Luke LaGrange
8:30pm

Sat 4.25
Adobe Verde
JJ Garrett Band
6:30pm

The Happy Cow

Justin Reimer Band
9pm

Oma Gruenes Secret Garten

Jordan Minor & Bottom Dollar

Wes Nickson

Adam Johnson Band

8pm

8pm

1pm

Oma Gruenes Secret Garten

The Benny Harp Blues Group
6:30pm

Phoenix Saloon
Junior Nash

Gruene Hall
Whiskey Myers
w/ Judson Cole Band
7pm, $17

The Pour Haus

Jamie Krueger Group

6pm

Phoenix Saloon
Jesse Stratton Band
9pm

Rileys Tavern

Ryan Adams

5pm

w/ Natalie Prass

Brother Nothing

Brent Michael Wood

Spencer Thomas Blues

7pm, SOLD OUT

9pm

8:30pm

9pm

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AJs Ale House

Rileys Tavern

Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show

Bridgett London

9pm

4pm

Gruene Hall

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Flat Top Jones

Glenn Collins & Alibi

1pm

3pm

Curtis Grimes

Gruene Hall

w/ Jake Ward

Slim Bawb

8pm, $10

12pm

NB Farm to Market

Antsy McClain & Trailer Park Troubadours

Monte Good

5pm

9am

The Pour Haus

The Pour Haus

JJ Villareal

Whiskey Rodeo

4pm

9pm

The Vagabonds

River Road Ice House

Peace & Music Fest

River Road Ice House

6pm

Drew Kennedy

Vineyard at Gruene

2pm

Sofi Lopez Duet

Vineyard at Gruene

7pm

Rodney Pyeatt
3pm

Sun 4.26

Mon 4.27

T-Bone & the Blue Tones

Billys Ice House

4pm

Oma Gruenes Secret Garten

2pm
3 Man Front
7pm

Phoenix Saloon
Mississhippie
w/ Indivine
3pm

Watering Hole Saloon

TBA
7pm

Bonzai Steak & Sushi

Smooth Jazz
w/ Sam Harriss
6pm

Gruene Hall
Mark Jungers Band
6pm

The Pour Haus

Open Mic
w/ Jon Magill
8pm

Wed 4.29
Phoenix Saloon
Swing Dance Night
8pm

Rileys Tavern
9pm

Billys Ice House

Joe Teichman

Aaron Stephens

8pm

8pm

Gruene Hall

Gruene Hall

Tom Gillam

Adam Johnson Band

6pm

6pm

The Pour Haus

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Fri 4.24
Cheatham Street Warehouse
Foscoe Jones
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9pm

The Continental Club

Club Lineup:

diversions

Sat 4.25

Freiheit Country Store

Karaoke

Cheatham Street Warehouse

Blue Healer

Friday Nights, 8pm

w/ Canvas People, Taylor & the Wild Now

9pm

Happy Cow

The Continental Club

Karaoke

The Blues Specialists

Club Lineup:

6:30pm

Redd Volkaert, 3:30pm

Robert Banta & the Fantastic Four

Rosie Flores

Special Events Monthly

w/ Mike & the Moonpies

w/ Jesse Dayton

Private Parties- Catering

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8pm, $10

Gallery Lineup:

Gallery Lineup:

Robert Kraft Trio, 8:30pm

Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30pm, $5

Floores Country Store

Randy Rogers Band

Hillary York, 8:30pm

Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30pm, $5

Floores Country Store

w/ Jason Boland & the Stragglers

Randy Rogers Band

7pm, 18+, $25-$300

w/ Granger Smith

Luckenbach Dance Hall

Hayden Whittington

7pm, 18+, $25-$300

Luckenbach Dance Hall

1pm

Clayon Gardner

T & C Miller

1pm

4pm
Gary P Nunn
w/ Almost Patsy Cline Band
8pm, $20

Sams Burger Joint

Steady Legend
8pm, $10-$45

Stubbs BBQ

Tessy Lou & the Shotgun Stars

8pm

Sams Burger Joint

TBA
8pm

Stubbs BBQ
Big Head Todd & the Monsters

Father John Misty

7pm, Outside, $30-$60

w/ Luluc

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7pm, Outside, $22-$120

Latasha Lee & the Black Ties
9pm, Inside, $5

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MOS T WAN T ED Freeman

COMAL COUNTYS
ANTONINO,
FRANK JOSEPH
JR
Male 601 185 lbs
DOB: 01/01/1957
CHARGE: Motion to
revoke probation for
driving while
intoxicated 3rd or
more

COREY,
MEDELLIN, JESSE
RODRIGUEZ
KITTY
MARIE

on Sports WITH BRANT FREEMAN

NORRIS,
OTIS NELSON

Male 511 160 lbs

DOB: 12/25/1968
CHARGE: Motion to
proceed with
adjudication for
aggravated assault
w/deadly weapon

Here Come the Spurs Again

PALMER,
JEREMY T

Male 507
200
lbslbs
Female
506
150
Male 510 195 lbs
DOB: 01/01/1976
DOB:
01/21/1982
CHARGE:
Possession
DOB: 12/02/1976
CHARGE: Motion to
of
a
controlled
proceed with
CHARGE: Violations of
substance pg 1 under
adjudication
for of
conditions of bond for
1 gram and theft
possession
of $1500
property under
driving while
controlled
substance
with 2 or more
intoxicated
3rd or more
pg1
under
1g
previous
convictions

ED

T
ARRES

GONZALEZ-MATA,
SERGIO M
Male 508 160 lbs
DOB: 07/30/1983
CHARGE: Tamper/
fabricate physical
evidence CT II

HERNANDEZ,
RUBEN JR
Male 509 189 lbs
DOB: 05/05/1969
CHARGE: Motion to
revoke probation for
theft property over
$1500 under $20k

LAW,
JARED SETH

Male 604 180 lbs

DOB: 05/04/1986
CHARGE: Motion to
proceed with
adjudication for
unauthorized use of
vehicle

$300
REWARD

PITTMAN,
ALFRED
Male 510 182 lbs

ED

T
ARRES
DOB: 08/18/1984
CHARGE: Assault
family member

WATSON,
RICHARD WAYNE
Male 510 170 lbs
DOB: 01/18/1978
CHARGE: Motion to
revoke probation for
assault causing bodily
injury family violence

WHITE,
GLYN DANIEL
Male 606 214 lbs
DOB: 10/09/1968
CHARGE: Tamper/
fabricate physical
evidence CT I and
CT II

FOR INFORMATION LEADING TO THE ARREST OF COMAL

COUNTYS MOST WANTED. Callers will remain anonymous.

830.620.3400 - 24-Hour
830.620.3411 - Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm

The names listed have been released in accordance with the Texas Public Information Act. This is a true
and accurate account as of Monday, April 20, 2015 at 8:54 a.m. and may not be current by the time it is
read. Do not try to apprehend anyone. These are listings of criminal warrants with the Comal County
Sheriffs Office and are not indicative of guilt or innocence. Officers are to verify the status of each warrant
prior to making an arrest. Any person is innocent of wrongdoing unless proven guilty in a court of law.

TXCITIZEN.COM

Before I get into the meat of this column, I

suppose I should make with the introductions
first: Ive been working in sports media in
radio and television for the past 12 years,
and Ive just recently gotten my feet wet in
writing about sports. Ive lived in this general
area of Texas all my life, growing up in
Boerne, getting my college degree at Texas
State University and living in New Braunfels
for nearly 10 years now. (As Im writing this,
this feels more and more like a first date
conversation about sports, and if my past
history with first dates is any indication, I might
get to write one more column, not have the
editor return my calls a week later and beat
myself up over the next 3 weeks wondering
WHERE THINGS WENT WRONG.)
But the date has started, and I cant stop
now. So how did I get interested in sports?
Well, actually I was TERRIFIED of sports
up until the age of 12. Growing up with a
die-hard Dallas Cowboys fan for a father, I
associated sports with yelling, so sports =
fear. It wasnt until the Spring of 1993 that I
started to develop my own interest in sports.
One day my dad, who in addition to his
profane-laced tirades at the TV, was also in
the trading card business, brought home a
box of Fleer Ultra 93 basketball cards and
asked for my help in opening the packs and
sorting out the cards. While we did this, he
turned on the TV and the San Antonio Spurs
were playing the Portland Trailblazers in the
first round of the playoffs. The Spurs won that
game in overtime, and Ive been hooked
ever since. From there, I started watching
everything. NFL, MLB, of the course the
NBA, and even the NHL (as long as it didnt
interfere with reruns of Charles In Charge).
My first love then, as you can imagine,
was/is the Spurs. It was 14 years after my
following/fandom of them started that I
started to actually cover and report on the
team. Ive had the pleasure of covering one
of the great franchises in pro sports during
one of the great runs in modern NBA history.

This post-season marks my 9th as a

credentialed member of the press, and its a
unique year for the reigning NBA Champs.
The Spurs are attempting to repeat as
champions for the first time ever, doing so
with a virtually identical roster from the year
before, in what has been an up-and-down
season. Starting 16-6, stumbling through
an injury-riddled December (going 8-10),
recording their worst W/L record EVER on
the Rodeo Road Trip (4-5), to surging down
the stretch with a 21-4 mark over the final 25
games, again putting the league on notice
they werent going away.
However, that tremendous 25-game
finish to the regular season was virtually allfor-naught. Because San Antonio lost its final
game of the season to New Orleans (my
god Anthony Davis is terrific, and hes in the
freaking division), all that 21-4 finish meant
was moving from 7th to 6th in the brutal
Western Conference. They needed to go 22-3,
which would have meant the #2 seed, with a
potential path to the NBA Finals being Dallas,
Houston and Golden State (with home court in
the first two series). Instead, its Los Angeles,
Houston (likely sorry Mavs fans) and Golden
State (without home court in any series).
The Spurs have had really difficult first
round opponents before (Phoenix in 2008,
Memphis in 2011, Dallas last year, two
good Nuggets teams in 05 & 07), but this
Clipper team might be the toughest. As of
this writing, the Spurs trail their 1st round
best-of-7 series vs the LA Clippers 1-0 after
Los Angeles won the series opener fairly
handily 107-92 on Sunday night. The series
is FAR from over, but if the Spurs are going
to win it, its going to be taxing. Playing this
series alone might keep the Spurs from going
deep into the playoffs. The path of least
resistance is always the way to go, it helped
Miami make 3 straight Finals, having to only
navigate through a watered down East.
11:00 already? Well, I guess were
at the doorstep now. I had a good time
call you soon?
11

Dont Miss
The Prickly Pears
Cinco de Mayo
Double-Shot!

ASK A MEXICAN!

By Gustavo Arellano brown. In all of the documents that our

7pm The Texas National Taco Eating Championships

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Think your from-scratch margaritas deserve the Texas National title? Well provide
the tequila and a pitcher, you bring the mixological magic. $100 cash and
near-deification to the winner!

Dear Mexican: Why do Mexican

men have thicker hair than Caucasian
men? Because Ive seen more Mexican
men with thicker hair and a lot more
of it than Caucasian men. Why? Is it
because it runs in the genes? (I am
only asking about hair on the head
not body hair).
Frankie

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The Prickly Pears Cinco de Mayo Double-Shot benefits the New Braunfels Puppy Playland and
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Dear Gabacho: Its ALWAYS about the

genes for Mexicans, whether its our love of
tortillas and tamales (indigenous ancestors),
beer (Germans), or frizzy hair (the negritos in
our family tree that no one ever acknowledges
even though your brother was born with a
Jheri curl that made Lionel Richies mane
seem as florid as a high and tight).
The same influence applies male-pattern
baldness. Scientific consensus that Native

TM

The SUN'S surface is 27 million degrees

Summer in Texas is nearly twice that hot

Americans are the least-affected ethnic group

on Earth when it comes to being pelones is
so prevalent that you can find it repeated
without citing any study in multiple medical
dictionaries. The Mexican couldnt find any
study specifically focusing on Mexicans, but
dont forget that a bunch of us have sangre

Get your AC inspected now

for ONLY $85!

forefathers filled out, there were lists of

the races, which included white, red,
black, yellow, or red. There was never
an option for brown.
Then the question of nationality
came: listed as Anglo, Hispanic, Middle
Eastern, Mexican-American, AfricanAmerican, Oriental, Pacific Islander,
or other. This is where my soapbox
becomes a podium.
Mexicans are white. You hear on
all the polls on TV that the whites voted
this way, and the Hispanics voted that
way! I cannot stand to hear that all the
people in attendance at a particular
school were 20 percent white, and 60
percent Hispanic! They are all the same
people! Hispanics are white! There is
the bigger issue that I touched base on
earlier in this story: that point is that
Anglo and Hispanics are in the same
race. Its their nationality that makes
them two separate entities.
Thank you for listening, and
hopefully some clarity will come of
the misnomer that Hispanics are a
separate race than the Anglo, when we
were both white all along!
Manito Manuel

india in our veins.

As for those of us who are getting

Dear Wab: Repeat after me: Brown

calvos? As a sweatshirt that my mami once

is beautiful. Brown is beautiful. Brown

bought at the swap meet and used to wear is beautiful. Brown is beautiful. Brown is
before realizing what it meant said, I dont beautiful. Brown is beautiful. Brown is
have a bald spot: its a solar panel for a

beautiful. Brown is beautiful. Brown is

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beautiful. Brown is beautiful. Now, go

Or get on the waiting

list for repairs.
( Free + painful repair expenses )

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830.625.2420 1617 BUSINESS 35 S.
GUADACOMA@NBTX.COM
12

Dear Mexican: Im from a Hispanic

heritage, and long bloodline of
Hispanics who came to this continent in
the 1600s. Having researched my roots,
I discovered that the Spaniards are
of Germanic roots, and the migration
to the Americas and interbreeding
soon created the mestizo, with other
bloodlines and heritages.
The generalization of terms used to
describe a Hispanic were, for centuries,
labeled as white, and to make my
point clearer, there was no such race as

repeat that to all your Hispano friends in

New Mexico who insist their ancestors
never got it on with a mestizo, and tell
them que se vayan a la chingada with their
claims of pure bloodlinesor, better yet, go
hang with Hitler.

Ask the Mexican at

themexican@askamexican.net,
be his fan on Facebook, follow him on
Twitter @gustavoarellano or follow him
on Instagram @gustavo_arellano!
AD SALES 830.358.2493

TXCITIZEN.COM

13

THE RESULTS ARE IN!

Your Official Guide to NB's Favorite Ever y thing

Best Dang Margarita in Town

Adobe Verde's Dos Rita

Best Cheeseburger
Phoenix Saloon

Best Place to Pick Up

Essentials Before One of
"Those Kinds" of Dates

Best Grilled Cheese Sandwich

The Perky Peacock

Phoenix Saloon's Frito-Pie

Best Baristas

Best Sports Bar

Gourmage of Texas

Best Snackage

Best Coffee for the

Hardcore Java-Head

Kora Kora Coffee

The Black Whale Pub

Kora Kora Coffee

Best Cheese Steak

Best First Date Bar

Best Local Treat Too Good to

Waste on Kids

Spud Ranch

Sweet Dreams' Elvis Cupcake

Best Full-On Texas Style Bar

Phoenix Saloon

Best Classic Cheese Enchiladas

Best Texas Mojo

Most Egregious Abuse of Power

El Nopalito

Freiheit Country Store

Best Indie Classic Cheese Pizza

Best Wine Bar

District One Councilman George Greens Filing of

Police Report Against Comal County Fair
Association Member Based on Third-Hand Rumor
that the Association is Wanting Blood or
Wanting My Blood or Theyre Out for Blood (he
doesnt know for sure) in Response to Councilman
George Greens Attempt to Revoke Fair
Associations Fairground Lease as Retaliation for
Failing to Provide Councilman George Green with
Special Parking at Fairgrounds

New York Pizza Pub

Best Cheese-Based Pastry

Naegelin's Cheese Pocket

Best Mac & Cheese

CBQ Smokehouse

Best Place to Trigger an Insulin Spike

2 Tarts

Best Place to Initiate

Corporate Sugar Rush
Dairy Queen

Best Corporate Pizza

Papa Murphy's

Best Indie Brisket

Kork

Best Patio/Deck/Backyard Bar

Pour Haus

Best Place to Pretend You're in a Really

Great, All-Summer-Long Beer Commercial
Lone Star Float House

Best City Politician

Mayor, and Eighth Wonder of the World,
Barron Casteel

Worst City Politician

District One Councilman George Green

Best Use of Taxpayer Funds

Best Place to Store Your In-Laws After

Three Days at Your House
Gruene River Inn

Most Transparent Attempt to Pander to

Advertisers via Ridiculous Readers Poll
Categories Created by the
Houston-Owned Herald-Zeitung

Granzin Bar-B-Q

New Dog Park (Puppy Playland)

Best Indie Breakfast Tacos

Worst Use of Taxpayer Funds

Best Place to Plan White-Collar Crime

The Still Incomplete Walnut Avenue

Widening Project

Wursthalle

Los Gallos

Best Small-Chain Breakfast Taco

El Nopalito

Best Pub-Style Bar

Calahan's
14

Best Meatball Sub

Olive's Italian Market

Vino en Verde

Coolest City-Owned Vehicle

NBPD's Tank

Best Funeral Home

Best Place to Hang Out After a Hard

Morning at Church
The Forbidden Island of Booneville Avenue
TX CITIZEN
AD SALES 830.358.2493

Last Word
With Kelly Colby

On H.R. Clinton
After my break last week, Im ready to go back
to politics, and Hillary Clinton has offered an
opening just too good to pass up. Actually, she
hasnt, but the latest scandal has, and I thought
I should get at least a few licks in before her
whole campaign implodes. Id never forgive
myself if the unthinkable should happen and
things went so badly that the Clintons were
forced to pack up and head off into obscurity
and I never took the opportunity to give them a
good kick in the pants before they go.
First let me point out that Hillary
Clinton presents a problem from a writing
perspective. The last time she was included in
a column, I spent the entire piece trying not
to refer to her as Hillary. I dont think using
her first name is appropriate; she is after all
an accomplished politician and presidential
candidate. I dont call President Obama
Barack and I dont call Elizabeth Warren
Elizabeth. Unfortunately the dynastic
element of our politics is conspiring to make
things unclear. Not only is Hillary Clinton a
problem, but so are Rand Paul and Jeb Bush.
For this column, I plan to move forward using
Bill and Hillary. (Clinton supporters are
encouraged to offer alternative suggestions
in the comments section of the online edition;
Ill take them under advisement.)
Is anyone else disturbed by the idea that
Hillary and her supporters are promoting that
its time for a woman President? I know that
Hillarys old, but Im no spring chicken myself,
and I was raised to not judge people based
on their genitals. Carly Fiorina has pointed
out that traveling is not an accomplishment.
Let me add that having a vagina isnt an
accomplishment either.
Gender is not something I look for in a
candidate (somehow that just sounds wrong,
but its true). I can think of plenty of reasons not
to vote for Hillary; the fact that shes a woman
isnt one of them. And, if I hear one more of
her supporters suggest shes ok because shes
post menopause, Ill throw up.
Another thing that bothers me about
Hillarys campaign is that she, and/or her
handlers, dont seem to recognize the irony in
her suggestion that shes a champion for the
little guy. Hillary Clinton has Secret Service
TXCITIZEN.COM

protection 24 hours a day, she receives

$200,000 a pop for speeches, she was
married to the President of the United States
and was a U.S. Senator and Secretary of
State, her family has a foundation that takes
multimillion dollar donations from foreign
governments; Hillary wouldnt know a little
guy if Scooby ran one over in the Chipotles
parking lot. Please spare me and the rest
of the country this hypocritical attempt at
rebranding. Id be happy if you can convince
me you wont sell the Lincoln bedroom for
campaign contributions like Bill did.
And while were on the topic of Bill, how
is it that hes even still alive? Do you mean
to tell me that Hillary could find some way
to get past the Secret Service and off him in
the last 15 years? I cant imagine that Hillary
believes it will be possible to get through the
entire campaign without a trademarked Bill
Clinton bimbo eruption. (I suspect it will be
a small group of attractive and just slightly
under aged campaign workers at an afterhours pizza party, with the pictures sold
to TMZ.) Even assuming Bill can manage
to keep his pants on for the next year and
a half or so, Id be nervous that he would
engaging in some passive-aggressive attempt
to torpedo Hillary at the last moment.
Perhaps theyve already considered this.
I havent seen Bill for a while. Maybe hes
tied up in a closet in Chappaqua.
These are just the snarky reasons why
Hillarys a bad candidate. There are several
things that Hillary will simply have to face
unless the media as a whole decides to forsake
doing their jobs to a greater extent than they
have during the entire Obama administration.
Hillary still hasnt offered anything
substantial as an answer for Benghazi. I
actually suspect that there is a reasonable
explanation for the dissembling on Benghazi
and that it has something to do with the CIA
annex being so close to all the action, but
Hillarys State Department handled the whole
thing ham-handedly. What there probably isnt
a good explanation for is why Hillary and the
rest of her team simply ignored the danger to
Ambassador Stevens and our facilities in Libya.
I also suspect that Hillarys push for U.S.
involvement in Libyas overthrow of Gaddaffi

will come up. Libya is currently spiraling out

of control, and when everything shakes out,
I fully expect Libya to a terrorist state. Hillary
could suggest that most of the Middle East is
headed in that direction, but I think Libya is
going to end up being laid at Hillarys feet.
Just as troubling is an entire book being
released detailing Clinton corruption. As I
alluded to before the book indicates that many
large donations were made to the Clinton
Foundation while Hillary was Secretary of State.
Many of these donors had beneficial dealings
with the U.S. government. So far Hillarys
campaign has dismissed the allegations as
simple partisan mudslinging and said that they
have been unprecedentedly transparent.
That these allegations come from a partisan
source is unquestionable, but that doesnt really
mean theyre untrue. As for transparency, thats
a word that Hillarys campaign should be very
careful about bandying around.
After all, we still havent received any
sort of acceptable explanation for Hillarys
State Department emails. She has said that
she released everything that was related to
the business of government, but that will be
hard to verify since she erased the emails from
a server she controls. I dont think that even
Hillarys supporters believe that all the emails
erased were personal business related to her
daughters wedding and yoga lessons. Equally
suspicious is that Hillary kept her own server
for emails in the first place, and that shes
fighting to keep anyone from trying to retrieve
what she erased from it. I wonder how the story
will change when someone gets a subpoena,
and we find out that the server was stolen, then
run through a degausser, before finally being
melted down and shipped to China.
One thing nice I can say about Hillary
is that shes never boring. I expect this
election season to be very interesting indeed.
Between the Republican field bludgeoning
one another mercilessly and Hillary trying to
avoid felony charges and keep Bill in line, I
expect to have plenty to write about. I expect
2016 to be a very exciting election season.

You can read more from Kelly Colby at yourfirstshrug.

blogspot.com.

Est. 1986
Dust off your dancing shoes and head
over to NBs largest dance floor.

FREE April
Dance Lessons
Salsa/Merengue
Every Friday 7pm-8pm
Followed by Live Music

Sat: DJ Dance @ 9pm

Sun: Happy Hour ALL Day
Mon: FREE DARTS
Tues: LIVE MUSIC @ 7pm
Wed: LADIES NIGHT
Free Pool & Jukebox
Thurs: KARAOKE
1390 McQueeney Rd, New Braunfels
830-625-0045 or wateringholesaloon.com
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Kitchen Hours

11-2 & 5:30-10pm Mon-Thurs

11-10pm Fri-Sun
9103 FM 1102
San Braunfels (Hunter, TX)
512.667.7510
happycowhuntertx.com

15

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